Member: Michelle
Location: CO
Date: 19 Jul 1998
Time: 15:18:14
Michelle alcoholic - first time to be first one! Cool. I had no idea how to turn my life over to God, I was still convinced that he wouldn't make the right decisions for me, even though my choices sucked. The more I tried to turn my will over, the more I had to examine how I felt about God. Lots of scary stuff from my Lutheran upbringing still in my head. I finally realized that I had been leary of organized religion, but I didn't have to go to church to have God in my life. In fact, I finally realized that I had to work real hard at keeping God out of my life. I didn't have to find God, he was never lost. I just had to bring the God conscious flow that runs through all of us, and the universe, into my awareness. Then it became very easy to know whether I was going with the flow, or against it by how I felt. When I doing things for others, helping, sharing, giving, loving, I am in the stream of spiritual current. When I start feeling like I'm swimming up stream, chances are I'm operating on self well again. God gives us lessons and gifts when we are ready for them, and sometimes they are a struggle, but worth the work. Help me to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. We still make choices, but nothing happens for no reason. I pray every day to God to make my life useful to others, thy will be done, not mine.
Member: Charlie O'
Location: Medford, Mass.
Date: 19 Jul 1998
Time: 16:41:03
CHarlie here, alcoholic.To me step 3 is simply asking my Higher Power to help me stay sober and also to ask for acceptance in all areas of my life. Life is full of setbacks even when we try our best. We have to accept it as God's will and not get too down on ourselves lest we start looking for excuses to drink. Ishould know, I've been a champ at self-pity most of my life. It has only been these last 9 years of sobriety that I've been able to bounce back from losses and not get too down on myself. I owe this entirely to AA. The principes of the fellowship,the sharing at meetings,the listening to other drunks that have gone through similar situations, and reading the steps have all helped me to grow. Step 3 I learned by listening at meetings how members ask for help.The little tips we receive help us to stay sober.WhenI came back I didn't have God in my life. They told me to fake it til I made it, or to use the Group as my Higher Power. It works! I think that step 3 has really been the key to my staying sober this last time, and it has been over 9 years now. Don't drink,ask for help, go to meetings and trust God to keep you safe and sober are the rules I live by. Charlie
Member: Mike C.
Location: OH
Date: 19 Jul 1998
Time: 22:36:30
Mike C., alky. The God I turned my will over to in step three keeps me sober by letting me know that I have a choice of whether to drink or not. My God will not take the drink out of my hand if I pick it up, but he will keep me from a situation where I would be tempted if I listen to him. One of my favorite AA "tools" is- if I don't know what to do, ask myself "what would a guy who really believes in God do in this situation" then pray for the courage, wisdom, and strength to do that- it works for me. Mike
Member: Patrick C.
Location: Wisconsin
Date: 20 Jul 1998
Time: 15:13:26
Hello, I am an alcoholic and drug adict, my name is Patrick.
I strugled with this because I was so consumed with the thought that I was the center of the Universe that no one else good help me. I thought that the concept of this complete surrender to someone greater than myself was not going to happen. Because of my stuborn and hard headedness it took me Three years to get this step into my life, mind, and soul. Now that the surrender is becoming more complete each 24 hours for me my life in HP's hands is becoming more and more enjoyable.
It really helped in the begining to make my Home Group my Higher Power and I went to them with all my questions about AA, Alcoholism, And in some way they taught me a little at a time. They are still teaching me and my brain begins to swell from all that they will throw at me all at once. Each time I surrender my pain to them and my fear my life gets better. I now surrender daily with my Morning Prayer and the whole day goes better after I turn it over to my HP.
Thank you AA's, and my HP. The decission is a good one. One 24 hours at a time.
Member: Jodene Alcoholic
Location: OKC
Date: 20 Jul 1998
Time: 17:06:00
I love step 3. At one time I had "STEP 3" as my car tag! I like to think of God taking "care of" me. I once heard the analogy of us coming upon a baby in the street. Wouldn't we pick the baby up and take it to a comfortable shelter? Wouldn't I make sure it was dry and fed and wanted? What then keeps me from allowing God to take "care of" me? I mean, what kind of job have I done taking "care of" me? Today all of my NEEDS are met, and a lot of my WANTS. That only happens when I get out of the way(sometimes easier said than done) and ask God for his/her will to be done. Today I know that God wants better for me than I want for myself. Today I made a decision --because a bottle didn't make my decisions today--to let my God(who wants more for me than I even want for myself)take CARE OF me.
Member: Bonnie C / alcoholic
Location: Seattle
Date: 21 Jul 1998
Time: 13:48:39
step-1 I can't
step-2 He can
step-3 So I think I'll let Him
Dear God, please bless all who venture here
Love and hugs, bon
Member: Martina G
Location: CT
Date: 21 Jul 1998
Time: 15:38:55
It was such a relief to be able to finally surrender my dark life to my HP, who is Jesus. I must make a daily and sometimes hourly decision to surrender my will to His. When I do this and the result is always the same: peace regardless of circumstances.
Member: john mc
Location: herts, england.
Date: 21 Jul 1998
Time: 19:47:51
all step 3 asks us to do is to make a decision,simple as that.my first "sponsor" told me to pray!!!the road to hell is paved with so called "sponsors".having made the decision how do i carry it out?do steps 4 to 9,and practice 10 & 11 on a daily basis.if i want to carry a message(there is a solution,chap 2 bb)i should make sure i have one,see p18 bb italics.please!! please!! please,keep it simple. a plea from the heart john mc
Member: Robin S.
Location: Plano, TX
Date: 21 Jul 1998
Time: 21:42:40
One other thing that was pointed out to me about step three was that it said "...over to the CARE of God..." That reminds me that my Creator cares about me and He makes everything all right...no matter what. With that in mind it is easy to make that decision! Thank you for letting me share :) It's a great day to be sober!
Member: Christine M.
Location: Bayville, NJ
Date: 21 Jul 1998
Time: 23:19:20
God-as we understood him. Important phrase. Not the God of the Catholic Religion or the God that the "Born Again Christians" believe in, not the God that the Jehova's Witness's knock on my door to tell me about, not the God that the "Moonies" try to shove pamphlets in my hand to tell me about while saying, "Jesus is coming".
The God of my understanding. The God that loves black, white, straight, gay, bi's. I am so Anti- organized religion. Religion just serves to separate people. The "saved" and the "not saved". Those who tithe and those who don't. The "Moral Majority" and the rest of the world.
The God of my understanding loves me NO MATTER WHAT. No matter what I look like, no matter whether I am gay or straight, no matter whether I tithe or not, no matter whether I am "saved" or not. He loves me and only wants the best for me no matter what.
Don't let anyone try to tell you that your idea of God is wrong.
The God of my understanding may not necessarily be the God of your understanding.
Turn it over and let Him run the show. He does anyways, whether we like it or not.
Member: Fran K. (Mom)
Location: Bremerton, WA.
Date: 22 Jul 1998
Time: 00:35:57
Step three saved my life I was looking for someone to take care of me, but everyone I trested did not do any better then did. know had to trust someone, so I gave a try and after a time my life realy did start getting better and I have God the Father, The Great Spriet and AA to thank for the growth and changes that hav happened for the best in my life today.
Member: Jane
Location: Ma
Date: 22 Jul 1998
Time: 02:35:46
Hi everyone. The effectiveness of my entire program is determinded by my use of Step 3--rough translation from 12&12; this has been so true for me. Much of my suffering in sobriety has been the result of not Letting Go and Letting God.
Just when I think I've turned over my life and will, I find an area of my life that I have held on for control..sometimes I don't even know it, and I'll say, "Duh. Why don't I turn it over?" There always seem to be deeper levels of surrender...
The Serenity Prayer is the measuring stick for determining the things I can and cannot do and what to give up to my Higher Power. Love to all, Jane
Member: Sketch O.
Location:
Date: 22 Jul 1998
Time: 07:00:55
Sketch here, im 15 and im an alcoholic, hey i need someones help..please.. i cant find the page for the 12 steps... and i really dont know what to do i tried quitting already... three times actually but only for a few days i just can't seem to say sober.. please help me...I come from a very religiou family and my parents really don't like me doing this things... I started drinking, smoking and i even tried drugs when i turned 13... i've been doing this for three years already and im really fed up... my sister tried to help me but she failed... i actually cut classes sometimes for weeks so i could go and drink with my friends... i used to belong in a frat where you needed to drink and have other bad vices just to join i dont know why i even bothered to join but where i live i need someone to protect me that is the reason i joined this group, i jumped out and left but my bad vices just came with me... please help...
Member: THERESE
Location:
Date: 22 Jul 1998
Time: 08:14:20
Hi my name is Therese and I am an alcoholic. This step is so important and should be done every day by me. Easy- Let my HP take the driving seat equals serenity. However when the old stubborn me takes the driving seat equals- my life in a mess. AA reminds me that I must continually take this step istead of choosing the most difficult path. (I know normally we don't make comments on this page- please forgive me- however I would like to comment on the last post) - Sketch-if you could move over to "The Discussion Meeting" that you can click on to at the top of the page there is a lot of information this week that may help you if you read the posts. Try to find the AA phone number because there will be people there who have suffered the same as you who will be able to give you all the love and help you need. God Bless T.
Member: wayne
Location: new york
Date: 22 Jul 1998
Time: 09:27:57
I'm Wayne and I'm an alcoholic.I want to share something with sketch. You reminded me of when I was fifteen and at that time I was a full blown alcoholic. I picked up my first drink and drug when I was thirteen and by the time I was fifteen I was stealing from my parents and breaking into houses to get high. I didn't know anything about alcoholism and if you had tried to tell me I would have blown you off. There is a line in the literature that says "pain is the touchstone of spiritual growth, it took the pains of drinking before sobriety and emotional turmoil before serenity". What this means to me is that the pain and turmoil that I lived with was neccessary for me to be willing to change.Nobody can do it for me because I have to be willing not them. I sincerely hope you don't have to suffer as long as myself and many others did.I'll pray for you dont drink and go to alot of meetings. god bless
Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 22 Jul 1998
Time: 09:56:59
it isnt a sign of weakness to ask for a little help. i used to think it was , but now i accept help from God as i understand him, he does provide help,but i found only when i ask. i keep it simple . thanks everyone!
Member: AA member
Location:
Date: 22 Jul 1998
Time: 11:32:33
Sketch O. - Look in the phone book for AA and get to a meeting. There might even be a teen meeting depending on where you are. Don't be afraid to ask for help, call and talk to someone NOW! There are lots of people willing to listen and help, but you need to ask for it. Don't suffer in silence, not when there is so much love and support available.
Member: John B
Location: Upstate Penn.
Date: 22 Jul 1998
Time: 17:43:17
Hi my name is John and I am an Alcoholic. Step Three is just a perfect step for me to briefly discuss. At one time I was somewhat sober for 5 years. Then I "slipped". Now I been sober for over a year. What's the difference today? I relie more today on a HP for support and guidence the entire day. I skipped step 2 and 3 before and went right on to step 4. By doing that, I thought I was changing myself - and still in control. Big mistake. Now, I do the right thing for the right reasons and trust that HP will take care of all the other stuff. What a relief!! What a step! The steps are really numbered 1 - 12 and for a good reason!
Thanks for letting me share. Thanks for all of your comments!
Member: ross s
Location:
Date: 22 Jul 1998
Time: 20:59:22
Hi ross - alcoholic Sept 3 is for me is important. It allows me to get out of the way and let my HP take over. On page 36 of the 12x12 it says " the more we become willing to depend upon a Higher Power, the more independnet we actually are."
Member: carolynL
Location: GA
Date: 23 Jul 1998
Time: 09:51:37
Hi Carolyn an Alcoholic. I know I believe there is a God who is all powerful. I know I left him. What I don't know is how to make the decision to turn my will and life over to him. I keep thinking that the way I feel is my punishment for the years that I did the things I did when I should have been serving him. I can't figure out how to depend on him fully yet. Maybe I'm not supposed to. I keep reading this stuff but I feel like it is bouncing off of me. I really want to turn it over to him, I guess I am just confused about how to handle my relationship with him.
Member: Karen Y.
Location: Illinois
Date: 23 Jul 1998
Time: 13:06:52
Hi, I'm Karen and I'm an alcoholic Turning my will and my life over to the care of the God of my understanding was not an easy task. I did not trust God and I did not have one of my understanding anyway. I have always known there was a God but I didn't like him much. I just concentrated on staying "willing" until the trust built. That happened by going to a lot of meetings and talking (honestly) to a lot of people. Also by getting a sponsor who led me through the 12 steps and brought me up short when needed. She seemed to know me better than I knew me. I still need to work daily on my consious contact with God and, I don't do that all the time, (Thank God this is not a graded test because if it were I would flunk on a regular basis). Everything that I have ever let go of has claw marks on it. Letting go just does not come naturally to me. I know that God handles it better than me. Everything that I try to do "my way" turns out messed up so I know that when I leave it to my higher power it works out the way it should. I just have to practice the concept that if I ask God to handle something that I cannot then tell him how to do it. Thats when I get into trouble and then wonder why that happened. Duh-Guess I need to let go one more time!
Member: Tom G.
Location: NJ
Date: 23 Jul 1998
Time: 15:43:35
Hi, my name is Tom and I am an alcoholic. I recently (last week) celebrated my 30th AA birthday.
Attempting to apply the third step to my life has been a learning process. My teachers have been mostly step meetings, the BB, and the 12&12. When I make a gratitude list, it is clear that the things "I just had to have" invariably turned sour. The things I am truly grateful for (AA, wife, son, grandson, etc.) I did not ask for and were given to my by a caring and loving God.
Member: Steve D
Location: NJ
Date: 23 Jul 1998
Time: 16:43:53
I'm Steve, a grateful alcoholic.
Sketch, if you are really ready to stop drinking alcohol and you are willing to do ANYTHING to stop, open the phone book and call AA. They will send someone over to help you or that if that is not possible where you live, they will tell you where to go. Above all, eat something, talk to someone, do anything but DON'T PICK UP THAT FIRST DRINK.
I had my first drink in 4th grade and I loved how it made me feel. By 8th grade, I was drinking 7 days straight during spring vacation as wellas many other times. I also tried drugs (all of them). AA helped me stop. AA makes miracles happen. Get to a meeting, talk at those meetings, and ask for help. I am certain that someone will be there for you. There is a saying: When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. You sound like you're ready.
Steve
Member: chuck k
Location: twincities MN
Date: 23 Jul 1998
Time: 17:33:48
chuck k and I AM AN ALCOHOLIC. I truly appreciate the insights offered this week. I'm having a challenging day. Although these are the days that I get to learn the most. The problem is I'm in my head and at times it is hard to let go and let god. there is a sick kind of pleasure that comes from feeding negative thoughts. this is the reason I need AA and god in my life. I am not cured of this disease. Iget to turn over my thinking and my life to god everyday if I choose. I am grateful for all of the contributors. your input may have saved someones life today. thank you and thank god, chuck
Member: john mc
Location: herts,uk
Date: 23 Jul 1998
Time: 19:17:08
hi john mc here.every step meeting i went to used the 12&12?without exception ,why? it certainly was'nt simple(i actually thought it was the big book!!)scary eh!!i aked an old timer .he reckoned it was to do with self will etc!etc!ect!he told me it was written in 1953.what were they using before that? obviously it did'nt work!!he "suggested" i read(study)pp17 12&12.having done that,i've concluded that the use of the 12&12 is fudamentally flawed.pp17 confirms it.my old timer did it by the bb, maybe thats why he's an old timer.rarely have we seen a person fail etc etc pp58 bb.its my need to become an old timer.time ,perhaps,to take inventory people step 10."is there anybody out there.god bless.
Member: Virginia B
Location: sw fla
Date: 23 Jul 1998
Time: 22:07:21
dearest friends, I just found you. I just got this new computer. Am uncertain about how it works but there YOU are and that's enough. Thirty four-years ago I had joined your/our AA meeting and had gone for two or three weeks about 5 meetings each week. Read Bigbook, had sponsor, had simultaneously been lifted out of heavy daily drinking - but picked up drink again on several occasions. Terrified that I was not adequate for the group, terrified that I could n not do it, called for help on phone. Woman said, as many meetings as I see you attending, and knowing from your comments that y ou are reading big book and have sponsor, there must be a hole somewhere in your program if you are still drinking. Then she repeated the steps, l, 2 both of which I felt I understood and followed, when she repeated the third step: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understand God. I knew immediately that I had not surrendered. I asked her how, as it seemed an immense task. I expected a long philosophical discussion. Instead she said simply "become willing." I did at once. That was my last drink, Jan 20, l964. Every day and often times during the day when I feel discomfort and "running stuff" again, I repeat my willingness to surrender. I live in grand peace, joy, contentment, and inner beauty. You have done it all for me. God speaks thru you to me. I am humble and grateful for this abundance and munificense of spirit - and sweet sobriety. In love, Virginia B
Member: Elly D.
Location: Ok
Date: 23 Jul 1998
Time: 23:43:26
I am having to really take this step to heart more than ever before. I'll be celebrating my tenth birthday next week but even after this length I keep grabbing the reins!! I have gradually become pretty physically disabled over the past five years and am having to retire after a long and happy career (42 years) in medicine and the change is really hurting. It puts me in the "why me?" mode far too often. I daily am having to make that decision to turn my life and my will over. This is my first time on the web. I used part of my retirement pay to get a better computer and by God's grace was fortunate enough to have a son knowledgable enough to pick it out for me and teach me how to use it. I love the page. I'll see you again soon. Thanks for listening.
Member: Dave B
Location: St. Louis,Mo.
Date: 24 Jul 1998
Time: 11:30:32
AS long as I tried to be self-sufficient, I needed to drink & drug...But when I made a decision to turn my life & will over to the care of God, (and on a daily basis I ask Him to help me do this),I haven't had to take a drink for over 2 years! Thats a miracle, considering I couldn't last 2 days prior to this surrendering. I am grateful to God & A.A.
Member: Pearl
Location: NY
Date: 24 Jul 1998
Time: 19:02:05
I just found this page due to a publicationwhich was sent to me and listed this e mailaddress. I am delighted to have found it.Next week, with the grace of God, I will celebrate 11 years. They have truly been the best 11 years of my life. Most importanthave been the steps and the practice of them.As for step 3....I found it such a relief notto have to be in control any longer, there was a Higher Power and it wasn't me. What arevelation. There was someone, something,some HP that could really lift life's burdensfrom my shoulders. I just repeat I can't, Youcan, I'm going to let you-- as often as necessary--and sometimes it is necessary allday. Glad to have found this page...thanksfor sharing and thanks for listening.
Member: Mark R.
Location: INDIANA
Date: 25 Jul 1998
Time: 01:17:15
Hi, my name is Mark and I'm an Acholic/Addict. If there ever was a step that confounds me it is this one. I do this step over and over again, and yet stay right here. I stopped drinking, and three other addictions became furious parts of my life. I need to go to a "live" meeting soon or I'm going to stay stuck...probably die like this.
Member: Ted B.
Location: Montreal
Date: 25 Jul 1998
Time: 08:55:32
Ted, alcoholic. Mark, hang in there, friend. Keep an eye on this website - it's full of sound advice and encouragment. Get to a meeting as soon as you can and TALK to people. Also, if you have a big book, read the page on ACCEPTANCE. I think it's page 469, but I'm not sure because I've searched the house high and low and can't find my &^%*$#@! big book! Can anyone else out there confirm that page number? Thanks.
Member: Ed S.
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Date: 25 Jul 1998
Time: 11:37:34
Ed, alcoholic. Ted, thanks for reminding me of that paragraph. It's actually page 449 of the Big Book, and for anyone else, it starts 'And acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today.' I think I'll sign off right now and read that. It always gives me peace when I read it, absorb it, and resign from the debating society. God bless us all.
Member: Chris B.
Location: NorthCentral Ohio
Date: 26 Jul 1998
Time: 01:44:57
Chris greatful recovering alky!! The third step is only a decision....there is nothing in it about going to church or changing your life or anything else. It's only a decision to stop running my own life and letting something else have the opportunity to move in..Used to be very confusing to me...But now it is just a giving up of myself and abandoning myself to my HP...While I do the other things to bring my life into conformance with his will....Nice topic.. : )
Member: JOHN MC
Location: HERTS.UK.
Date: 26 Jul 1998
Time: 04:53:57
john mc recovered alkie. thanks to CHRIS B for his comment re step 3 "its only a decision".it begs the question,how do i act on this decision? there must be action!!to carry out this decision,i must do something?find someone,the kind of person they describe on pp18 B/BOOK (ITS IN ITALICS)AND DO THE REST OF THE STEPS.THATS HOW TO HAND YOUR LIFE AND YOUR WILL OVER.THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO GET STUCK MARK.NO NEED TO "HANG ON IN THERE".GET OF YOUR "BUTT" AND GET IN TO ACTION(WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM YOUR FRIENDS)GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES.LAUNCH!!YOUSELF ON A VIGOROUS!COURSE OF ACTION(PP63 B/BOOK)FOLLOW THE CLEAR CUT PRECISE INSTRUCTIONS."RARELY HAVE WE SEEN A PERSON FAIL WHO THOROUGHLY FOLLOWED OUR PATH"(PP58 B/BOOK).THEN THE ACCEPTANCE WILL COME ,THATS A PROMISE.ITS NOT ABOUT LUCK MARK,ITS ABOUT "ACTION".YOU DON'T THINK YOUR WAY INTO CORRECT LIVING(HOW MANY TIMES DID I TRY TO DO THAT).YOU LIVE YOUR WAY INTO CORRECT THINKING.USING THE PROGRAMME(12STEPS).GOD BLESS YOU ALL.