Member: FAYLA  G
Location: GALENA    KS
Date: 14 Jun 1998
Time: 13:02:03

Comments

FAYLA ALCOHOLIC, my line to God is so strong at this time ,because i finaly know whos the leader and its not me ,Ijust do the footwork and try to keep my mouth shut and listen ,i learn alot this way .he knows what hes doing i dont doubt that for one minute . HE is always there ,his line is never busy ,I love him ! FAYLA G


Member: Jay H.
Location: Southeastern VA
Date: 14 Jun 1998
Time: 13:20:49

Comments

Hi, I'm Jay H., alocholic. Sometimes, at meetings I hear some newcomers ask about prayer and meditation, such has how do you pray and how do you meditate? My sponsor told me a long time ago, how simple it is: Praying is talking in the presence of God or higher power, and meditating is thinking in the the presence of God or higher power. That made more since to me than going to school to learn to meditate and it put a real meaning to prayer. I've been in AA for over 21 years and I must keep it simple! Have a nice day. Jay H.


Member: Alex A
Location:
Date: 14 Jun 1998
Time: 19:48:49

Comments

Hi, I'm new at this since I just stop drinking 2 weeks ago. I haven't join any AA meetings, maybe because I think that I can do it by myself. Can someone explain me about this 12 steps and do you think that I can stay sober without joining sone AA meeting?


Member: Karen M.
Location: NJ
Date: 14 Jun 1998
Time: 21:30:42

Comments

Hi, I'm Karen and I am an Alcoholic.

First, Alex.. I know I couldn't really get sober without going to AA. I could be "dry", that is, not drinking. Sober and Dry are two different things. Sobriety is based on the principles outlined in the 12 steps. How you learn about putting them into your life is by going to meetings. There really isn't any way around that, at least in my experience. Give it a shot. It's worked for me for over 12 years.

On the topic of the 11th step... It took me a long time to get comfortable with trusting a higher power, then calling it God. I had a lot of work to do before I could practice a "conscious contact" with God. Initially, I asked God to just help keep me sober and to let me know what his/her will was for me each day. It was hard for me to sit still, so I walked and talked with God. It took many years to quiet my mind enough to receive the message. Often this was through other people, a reading, etc. The "housecleaning" steps (4-10) really helped me to clear that blocked channel they talk about in the Step Book. Bottom line for me is that Step 11 is progressive and requires continuous effort, just like my relationship with God. I couldn't and wouldn't attempt to stay sober without it. Gratefully, Karen


Member: Linda P
Location: CA, USA
Date: 14 Jun 1998
Time: 22:26:21

Comments

Hi, I am Linda an alcoholic. Step 11 is one of those action steps that I do daily. I heard in meetings where I am from that praying is speaking to God, and meditation is listening to God. I rather like the way it what expressed by Jay L a few posts back, that seems to be even more simplistic, and a lot better understood by me. Wonderful how we can learn from one another, no matter how much time we have in this program. I now attend church and my worship is considered an extention of my 11th step, something I do to enhance my spiritual growth. Without Him, I would be still in a hopeless state of mind and body, drunk.

Love to all, Linda P


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 14 Jun 1998
Time: 23:25:23

Comments

I am very definately a real alcoholic and my name is Sanders. This is my favorite step of all 12. One reason I like it is because I don't especially like step 10, and if you do a good enough job in the 11th, you don,t have to spend so much time cleaning up your mess( step 10). Seriously this is my favorite step and today the most important thing in my life is my relationship with my Higher Power. To me He is God. I start every day and end every day with "time with my God" I also am very involved with my local church, which causes no conflict at all. As a matter of fact my church life my relationship with my God. I read from the bible and this helps to slow my racing mind down so my God can speak to me and I can understand what He wants of me. Through this relationship with God, I have found that all He expects from me is the best that I am capable of giving. It does not have to be better than what you give, simply the best I am capable of giving. When I do that He is satisfied and I have to be too, because I certainly don't have any right to expect more of me than God does. Talk about EGO, how bout that one? Now my God does expect the best abd not second best from me, so there is both freedom and responsability in this. It is very simple and from what I just told you, is where my 10th step or nightly review of my day comes from. If I can answer, to my satisfaction, YES, to the above question, then I roll over and Tobie and I go to sleep. If I can't answer yes then I have to find out why and correct it quickly. It is so vitally important that I keep this line of communication open with my God, and the fastest way to cut it off is for me to knowingly do something that is contraryto God'S will for me. That complete shuts it off and it is a long process for me to get it back open again. Love to all in both the fellowship and the program. Sanders


Member: Ruby O.
Location: Talladega,Al.
Date: 15 Jun 1998
Time: 00:39:21

Comments

Hello,Ruby ,An alcoholic,I'm long winded so Ill keep it short. Having had a spiritual awakening, IT'S GREAT TO KNOW GOD'S IN CHARGE OF IT ALL, I JUST SHOW UP. Thank you, May we all get what we deserve.


Member: Scott J
Location: New Hampshire
Date: 15 Jun 1998
Time: 16:20:16

Comments

I'm a drunk and my name's Scott. I've been working the steps with my sponsor but we haven't reached the 11th step yet. I have made prayer a habit, though, as I've heard suggested at many meetings. I repeat a prayer similar to the third step prayer each morning and try to mean it. Most nights I remember to thank God for helping me keep myself sober for another day. (I say "keep myself sober" because I've been taught that even though it is God who gives me what I need to stay sober, I must choose to make use of it and do the footwork.)

I've also tried meditation. I've heard a few different explanations of meditation, such as "quiet time", listening to God, concentrating on a single thought, focusing on breathing, and contemplating what reality might be from God's point of view. I've tried some of these and plan on trying others, but what I do when I want to meditate is go for a long nightime walk where it is quiet and I can think.

Exactly what happens when I go on these walks, I don't know. But I do know that no matter how wound up, stressed, angry, frustrated, depressed or self-pitying I feel, I always finish these walks feeling calm, collected and peaceful and life really seems so incredibly simple. I usually begin the walk by just moving at a steady pace and letting my mind wander. Once I feel a little relaxed by the rhythm of walking, I listen for that little voice of conscience that I think of as God's voice of love and guidance. I continue to let my mind roam, but at this point I don't seem to be thinking as much as I am listening. I just calmly and objectively listen to what's going on in my head. This always works for me. My thinking clears up, becomes so simple and straight-forward, and answers I've been looking for all at once seem so obvious.

It's funny that these walks work so well for me and yet I take them so infrequently. Maybe working step 11 with my sponsor will motivate me to spend more time relaxing in this way.


Member: Jodene Alcoholic
Location: OKC
Date: 15 Jun 1998
Time: 17:24:06

Comments

This is a great step. Early in sobriety I remember commenting to someone about praying for my dad's physical healing. The woman (with many years sobriety) said "And just what makes you think YOU know what your dad needs?". That really rocked me. It's been a journey getting to the point where I can EARNESTLY pray that ONLY God's will be done. One ABSOLUTE truth has finally become a core belief for me:that my deepest longiings and desires are only a shadwo of what God wants for me. Oh, I'm sure not perfect, and too often I think I know what God's will is. The truth is the more I leave the results of everything to God,the greater my peace and freedom. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Pete B.
Location: sw MI
Date: 15 Jun 1998
Time: 20:41:28

Comments

Hi there ....I'm Pete , an alcoholic !

I always have a tough time spelling that word. Wonder why. It reminds me of the first 2 years I made a run at AA (but didn't make it)... at meetings when it came my turn to share....I had a horrible time saying 'alcoholic'. Obviously I didn't want to be one ... so I guess it manifested itself elsewhere ...like in my speech.

The 11th step is not my strong suite. Although the one thing that I resolved when I came back into AA ...is that I have to be honest...brutally honest. Like when I made my amends .... I measured my honesty from my heart and not my head. I was great at giving lip service, b.s. and lying....it was second mature. But I saw that I was between a rock and a hard place on the honesty issue. Hence it took a long time for me to say 'sorry' ....and when I said it, I meant it. My spirituality had to grow first for me ...before I tackled the steps.

Now ... as far a step 11 ... I thank God at the end of each day for keeping me sober. I really don't know how to meditate ... so I can't talk about it ..... I've made retreats at Fatima on the campus of Notre Dame and I try like heck to meditate but .........

Progress not perfection ... some day I might learn ......However, one thing though..... I believe my life is a prayer to God ... my actions !!! Chatting with God is good, .....doing for God is excellent !!!!

My thoughts for the evening ......peace be with you all, Pete


Member: lori m
Location: springfeild or.
Date: 15 Jun 1998
Time: 21:55:30

Comments

hi lori addict god help me love my self today i take shower and iam typing on a computer who would now i would be doing this i even rember how to typ a little geting better god work not mind thank you god and aa


Member: jack g
Location: htfd,ct
Date: 16 Jun 1998
Time: 01:21:12

Comments

Hi,Jack here,a Greatful Recovering Alcoholic; I close each day by reading from my"TWENTY FOUR HOUR" book. This seems to open my thinking for a closer relationship with the GOD of my understanding. I shudder whenI think of my undisciplined life before I let my HP in and show me the way. I have to keep reminding myself that it's "GODS WAY NOT MY WAY". In the closing of the 11th step in the "BIG BOOK",it reminds us of further action must be taken by us.To help maintain our faith we must remember that "faith without works is dead".

I truly believe that my reading and meditation help me to have a more peacefull sleep.

With that I will end by wishing all a peacfull and sober day.

love in fellowship jack g jgilbert@snet.net


Member: Patrick C
Location: Wisconsin
Date: 16 Jun 1998
Time: 16:22:05

Comments

I am an alcoholic and drug addict, my name is Patrick.

Step 11 is now a 24 hour experience for me. AA's taught me to pray and meditate. I found I only have to worry about and live in a 24 hour period at a time. It seems that prayer is now a constant in my life and even though I stumble into my old ways and bad habits, the prayer and meditation seem to pull me back on the right path.

I now, and I find this hard for me to believe, pray ever morning on my getting up and quite often durring the day and most importantly at night before the sleep arives. These prayers are phrases I learned in AA and although simple and small to glance at they, for some reason, have a major effect on me then and later in my day. I have no clue how it works or why it works but I have decided to let it work for me and therefore I will continue to pray and meditate for my HP's will and the power to carry it out, amen.

Ifeel so much better right this minute for saying it and living it.

Thank you AA's where ever you are and thank you for having this meeting place where I can see how to live and learn to be a real human being, thank you.


Member: Barbara S.
Location: NJ
Date: 17 Jun 1998
Time: 10:52:24

Comments

My name is Barbara and I'm an alcoholic.

I feel kind of like Patrick does - that I've learned (and it amazes me, too!) over these years a wonderful thing: to constantly pray and meditate. I pray with focus when I am alone and all day-to-day activities have ended. I've somehow learned to meditate most of the rest of the time - and by this I mean to quiet my mind and try to let God work through me. (It's amazing to me, because when I first came to AA, I avoided 11th Step meetings completely!)

It was a conscious decision, at first, that I made around four years ago. I promised myself that I would give at least an hour daily (while I ran along the country roads, seeing the beauty of nature and breathing deeply of the air) to directed prayer to God. The prayer was, most of the time, just as it says in the book: "Thy will, not mine, be done."

It has worked a wonder in my life, and become part of me now. I am so grateful to AA and to those who helped me find the way.

Peace to all, and a good 24 hours -


Member: Ruby O.
Location: Talladega,Al.
Date: 17 Jun 1998
Time: 13:59:01

Comments

Hello Everyone my name is Ruby,I'm a grateful recovered alcoholic and I have read some great info on the 11th step,I do not stop learning and reminders of where I came from are welcome(just in case I get complacent and want to take credit) I've been sober long enough to realize (when I am spiritually fit) that I can not get anyone sober or drunk(includes me) so I know it's the grace of God. Many times I forget because I am not the most consistent person in the world. It is so simple,pray,let go. My grandmother used to say "If you're going to worry,why pray?" Today it makes sense at the time I thought she was nuts. There are so many teachers out there,if an open mind recieves.I close my night saying THANK YOU GOD.My life has become a prayer,we live the program not WORK it,it is to make life livable as we trudge the Happy road of destiny. Thx for allowing me to share,GOD BLESS rowings@coosavalley.net


Member: Michelle
Location: CO
Date: 17 Jun 1998
Time: 20:06:48

Comments

MIchelle grateful recovering alcoholic - I struggle enough with "Let go, let God" to be an expert on the 11th step. I am such a control freak that if God and I went somewhere, I would have to drive. I know that I don't know best, my best thinking got me to be a hopeless drunk. I am prepared to listen when I am so tired and frail and exhausted that I am on my knees and then God works miracles in my life. When you get to the end of the rope, let go. Not me, I like to hang on and get drug through the mud and experience as much pain and suffering as possible. I don't know why I am comfortable with being in that position, but I am. So to me, when I am really allowing God to work through me, I know because I am at peace, and I am not fighting to stay alive. I feel it much more now than I ever have. Each year of sobriety allows me to be just a little more comfortable in my skin. To know yourself, is to know God. To know God is to know love.I have to start with knowing myself and that is hard for a person who wore a mask for so many years, but if I can do it, anyone can. Miracles should be happening every day in our lives, if they aren't, somehow I know I am blocking God's work with my own selfish needs or wants. I like quiet walks in the woods to hear God, which is what I call meditation, when my busy thinking comes to a halt and I just listen to what thoughts need to be heard.


Member: MARK L
Location: SAV  GA
Date: 17 Jun 1998
Time: 21:34:41

Comments

HI IM MARK L AND IM AN ALCOHOLIC AND I LOVE STEP 11 THE MOST REWARDING PART OF MY DAY IS WHEN I CAN TALK WITHMY HIGHER PO WER WITHOUT ANY OUTSIDE INTERRUPTIONS


Member: Nikki B.
Location: PA
Date: 17 Jun 1998
Time: 23:55:45

Comments

Hi, I'm Nikki B, an alcoholic. I am currently working on the 4th step, but have learned that I can use parts of the 11th step while I am working on the 4th. I am trying at this point and time not to cause myself anything that I will need to make up for later.

find that if I think about things before I do them, I am able to treat people and situations better. That way I do not have to work on righting the wrongs later.

Thanks to God, I am able to put myself in other peoples shoes, so that I can take there perspective. I try and say, how would I feel if I was on the receiving end of what I was doing. As long as I know that I would not be hurt by what I was doing, I am able to move forward in that direction.

Hope everyone has a great 24 ahead.

Thanks for letting me share!!!

Nikki B.


Member: Steve G.
Location: So. Cal.
Date: 18 Jun 1998
Time: 10:45:03

Comments

Hi, I'm Steve, alcoholic. Step 11 is one step I'll never perfect. The reading in my 12x12 talks about we alcoholics working toward the ideal that is God. My whole sobriety hinges on how well I act upon God's will and not mine. I pray every morning and very often many more times daily for the knowledge of His will for me. The best way I know how to find out what His will is for me , is to do every thing I can for as many others as I can every day. Somehow what I need to do just shows up. Go figure! Thanks


Member: Tim L.
Location: Guam, USA
Date: 19 Jun 1998
Time: 00:38:46

Comments

Hi Family,

Once I discovered I wan "not" God or anyones Higher Power, I was able to start a relationship with what I call *GOD* or my *HP*. As long as I thought I could change the outcome of things I had no control over, like people, places, and things...I started then to feel the loving gifts my HP wanted for me and to receive some of the promises, promised in the Big Book, if I worked for them. I do reveive those and so much more when my spiritual condition and my contact with my HP is *right*. God is always there for me no matter where I am or what I am doing, I need only turn my "thought" to Him...make contact with Him...relate my feelings and then I shut up and listen. I know when I am listening by what my body is feeling physicologically...you know, that peacefulness comes over me and I take *ME* out of command! I have so many joy's in my life today, what I did not have for so many years when I had no contact or should I say, a good contact with a HP. I thought I understood the concept when I was out there but I found out different when I hit these rooms...another blessing from my HP even when I did know He was out there watching out for me! "Pause, Pray, and Proceed" that's for me today and without a contact with my HP, I stumble, cuss, and fall. Thanks for letting me share and I always remember that my HP speaks to me in many ways, through you, the birds, my Dog (GOD spelled backwoards), and so many other ways...I look for them. thank you fellow AA's and God for one more day of happy sober living!!!! Tim.


Member: Charlotte B
Location: Mississippi
Date: 19 Jun 1998
Time: 02:10:48

Comments

I am Charlotte, a grateful recovering alcoholic. I'm grateful that I know that today. I'm grateful that my Higher Power/God led me to the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous where I could be helped to identify the problem (me) and begin to learn how to live sober. Prayer and meditation are vital in my life today. When I pray, I talk to God -- about anything and everything, asking always that I be strengthened to accept and do his will; and when I meditate, I listen. In prayer and in meditation, I seek to be aware of the presence of God, my higher power. When I am aware of His presence, I know peace. Love to all who enter here.


Member: Sharon K.
Location: Southeastern Massachusetts
Date: 19 Jun 1998
Time: 20:43:47

Comments

Hi- My name is Sharon and I'm a recovering alcoholic. Step 11 has always been my favorite step, because it is only through prayer and meditation that I grow closer and more in love with my high power. I believe love is the power which changes our lives. I allowed God to love me enough to help me and that love grew and with it came trust and a feeling down deep that I was no longer alone. As that love relationship grew, I came to love myself more, and as that developed, that love has spread out from myself to encompass all people. I learned how to quiet my mind and my body to allow god's grace to enter, and what I feeling of love and wonder that rushed through me. I was once broken and scattered and I have been made whole through my higher powers unending love. Keep working on developing that relationship because it's better than any drink or drug out there, and it's real. Thank you for letter me share my thoughts. I'm a grateful recovering alcoholic and my name is Sharon.


Member: Sharon K.
Location: Southeastern Massachusetts
Date: 19 Jun 1998
Time: 20:43:57

Comments

Hi- My name is Sharon and I'm a recovering alcoholic. Step 11 has always been my favorite step, because it is only through prayer and meditation that I grow closer and more in love with my high power. I believe love is the power which changes our lives. I allowed God to love me enough to help me and that love grew and with it came trust and a feeling down deep that I was no longer alone. As that love relationship grew, I came to love myself more, and as that developed, that love has spread out from myself to encompass all people. I learned how to quiet my mind and my body to allow god's grace to enter, and what I feeling of love and wonder that rushed through me. I was once broken and scattered and I have been made whole through my higher powers unending love. Keep working on developing that relationship because it's better than any drink or drug out there, and it's real. Thank you for letter me share my thoughts. I'm a grateful recovering alcoholic and my name is Sharon.


Member: Bonnie C
Location: Seattle
Date: 20 Jun 1998
Time: 08:01:45

Comments

Hi extended family, bonnie/alcoholic here, (((ROOM-HUG))) so happy to be here sober this early am. I posted in this room early in the week but apparantly I didnt hit the right button. I could only read or post in the coffee pot till Wed, then it reads page to big, even in the alternative site, not able to post either and it will read the same in the archives also (page too big). so I really miss the second half of the week and you folks, wish there was a way the techs could work it so the posts could be at the top of the page so the only thing that would be cut off is the part I'd already read, (Hey techs, is that possible? - this would be one grateful alcoholic if it were) and if the posting box would be at the top instead of the bottom. Wow. I know nothing about these things or how difficult that would be to set up. Anyway, Step 11 - sought thru prayer and medication - dam, wouldnt that be nice, a pill could get me there, drs have been trying to treat my alcoholism with pills since I got sober. I believe they actually think my alcoholism is a pill deficientcy. LOL (laugh out loud) - Actually, that fits with step 11- the times that I do the most heartfelt praying or meditating or journaling is when my @ss is falling off - and remembering back to when I first got here, that was a daily event, so no wonder I serenity prayed, our fathered, 3rd and 7th step prayed and journaled alot, Pain was my touchstone to the willingness to pray and write, go to meetings, get a sponsor, devour everything I could lay a sense on, my pain made me willing, a pill would have dulled that pain and the willingness would have subsided with the dependence on those pills for I know me, I was a pill head, dr prescribed of course, I took those before I really started drinking and withdrew from them cold turkey 17 to 23. not fun. but had I taken them when these drs wanted to throw them at my alcoholism, I know me, I would have let them take the edge off, not done the work and I would have either been dead by now or one of those miserable old farts that hangs around the clubs character assinating others. Thank God for the pain. Made me work this program and let me get happy, joyous and free. On the days that I feel the least bit stressed or when I journal, I always end it with, Thank you God for what You've given me, what You've taken away and what You've left. for I know that what remains is for my highest good. He has a better idea! I talk to Him all day now, not just in the morning, nor at nite, He helps me thru my day. I truly have a partner in this life. When I first got here someone said *whatever you think of most in your day IS your higher power, today mine is God. Dear God please bless all who venture here. Love and hugs, bon bonzoc@webtv.net


Member: Wendy
Location: Hawaii
Date: 20 Jun 1998
Time: 12:51:01

Comments

Hi, My name is Wendy I am an alcoholic. I just found this site yesterday. What a wonderful thing this internet is. I just started using this at work in my free time. This is how the 11th step works in my life today. Thank you all and God Bless!


Member: FAYLA   G
Location: GALENA    KS
Date: 20 Jun 1998
Time: 16:12:24

Comments

Fayla G ALCOHOLIC , WELCOME WINDY .WELCOME HOME ,LOVE YA FAYLA G .


Member: FAYLA   G
Location: GALENA    KS
Date: 20 Jun 1998
Time: 16:14:33

Comments

Fayla G ALCOHOLIC , WELCOME WINDY .WELCOME HOME ,LOVE YA FAYLA G .


Member: Claudia
Location: Chicago
Date: 20 Jun 1998
Time: 22:27:47

Comments

Hi, I'm Claudia, an alcoholic, powerless over alcohol. Step 11 is a tough one for me. I'm still struggling with being comfortable with the word "God". Even after many years of sobriety and of going to meetings, I thought I had to believe in a God of someone else's understanding. Since I don't believe in a personified God, I had some problems with the steps of AA. Now, I can accept G-O-D, good orderly direction. I believe that the universe is unfolding as it should and what I need to do is to go with the flow. My idea of prayer and meditation is to take quiet time with reading and contemplation. I give myself time to be centered. Also, taking a prayerful stance keeps me humble.


Member: virg
Location: mty, CA
Date: 20 Jun 1998
Time: 22:52:39

Comments

God spelled backwards is Dog. If you have ever had a dog look at you with loving eye, you have experienced a small peice of the power of God. If you have trouble with the idea of there being a God, try yo prevent the sun from setting, or rising tomorrow. Can't can you. The most important thing to remember is that your higher power ain;t you!! Look at the trouble you got yourself in. Secondly, remember that God has a scense of humor. Be careful what you ask for because he'll give it to you. Like when I asked to stop smoking. OH, OH, I was so ill I couldn't breath let alone smoke and I quit. At the time, I said to God , But I didn't mean this way. Stick aound and you will know what, Knowledge of his will and the power to carry it out. That is the only prayer I need to remember, luv virg


Member: sally j
Location: az
Date: 20 Jun 1998
Time: 23:31:27

Comments

This has been the greatest step for me . Almost every morning(it was getting to be such a ritual for me I had to take a break ) I read pages 85, 86, 87 out of the big book of AA this helps me to keep on track for the day and have aprivate time with my GOD. I wouldnt' think of going into the day without him (wow what a change for this alcoholic).My greatest gift has been the 12 by 12 11th step Many times I have taken a breather in the middle of a crazy day and read the this step and the St Francious Prayer and my contact comes. One time in particular I only had about 20 minutes free before my next appointmnet and didn't know what to do so I thought I would get "grounded" in the spirit I picked up the 12X12 did this step and within a short time I could hear His guidance. It was something that I would have never done but I listened to my HP, did it, and it worked out for the best later.. Hind site is 20/20.. Coudn't live without this step today.It brings me peace of mind and stability.