Member: baker
Location: Canada
Date: 4/22/01
Time: 9:50:29 AM
Good morning I`ve been around for quite a few days and one thing becomes clear, the KISS system don`t let this step scare you ! the key MAKE A DECISION to turn your life over, the rest will fall in place..
keep trudging.
Member: Robin B
Location: Cincinnati
Date: 4/22/01
Time: 10:55:52 AM
Good Morning! This is my first meeting. I'm not familiar with any of the methods so I can't respond to this. But willing to listen.
Member: danielle
Location: van, canada
Date: 4/22/01
Time: 1:30:39 PM
hi! i'm danielle and i'm an alcoholic. Welcome Robin! Step 3 for me is like step 1 in terms of the fact that i need to do it every day, several times a day. I need constant reminders of my higher power throughout the day (Which is something i pray for in the am.) or else i forget that he's in charge, not me. A lot of times i'm not sure which is my will and which is my higher power's will. My hope is that i will be able to aline mine with his someday. Thanks! Bye!
Member: lu-lu
Location:
Date: 4/22/01
Time: 1:41:16 PM
excuse me i farted
lu-lu
Member: Smitty
Location: Melrose Park Ill.
Date: 4/22/01
Time: 3:48:16 PM
Step three does not say to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as we unstand him. It says we make a decision to. we make a comitment. we must work the first nine steps to know who we are, what we are, what we have to turn over to him. Keep it simple. Thats why it so important to work the steps in rotation. Don't let these steps frighten you. you are going to make mistake's, thats all right,your higher power loves you and will forgive you. The steps is not going any where, go back to them as often as necessary for you to get them to your satisfaction. I don't beleive you can make half attempt to work them and not get somthing out of them. I have been around for over 15 yrs. and everytime I read them I learn somthing new. Keep it simple, Love you all
Member: JIMMYD
Location: MICHIGAN
Date: 4/22/01
Time: 4:03:59 PM
HI IM JIMMYD AND ALCOHOLIC. WHEN I CAME TO A.A. 5 YRS AGO, THE BILLS WERE OVERWHELMING CAUSE OF ME DODGING CREDITORS, MY WIFE HATED THE PERSON I HAD BECOME, AND I HAD MANY MANY DRUNK DRIVING ARRESTS AND ACCIDENTS IN 22 YRS OF BOOZIN. I WAS SICK, PHYSICALY, MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALY.I WAS VERY IMPATIENT. WHEN I TURNED THESE THINGS OVER TO GOD, I WANTED THEM TO BE FIXED NOW! WHEN THEY WERE NOT, I SAID GOD IS NOT LISTENING TO ME. IF GOD HAD GIVEN ME EVERYTHING I WANTED THEN, I WOULD PROBABLY BE DRUNK TODAY. I WOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN ABLE TO HANDLE IT PROPERLY. GOD DID MAKE ME RELIZE THAT I HAVE ONLY ONE PRIORITY TODAY AND THAT IS TO STAY SOBER. I USED TO MAKE EVERYTHING A PRIORITY NOW I HAVE ONLY ONE. ALL THE OTHER THINGS ARE MY RESPONSIBILITIES AND I CAN HANDLE THEM AS LONG AS I HOLD TO MY ONE PRIORITY. STEP 3 FOR ME WAS A STEP TOWARD SPIRITUAL UNDERSTANDING AND IT HELPED ME IN STEPS 4 AND 5. REMEMBER, THY WILL NOT MINE. THANKS FOR LETTING ME SHARE AND GOD BLESS YOU ALL.
Member: Jenn P.
Location: Poconos, PA
Date: 4/22/01
Time: 5:04:17 PM
Good afternoon all - Jenn here, an alcoholic who is happy, joyous, and free as a result of these steps. The first time I took step three, it was explained to me that all I needed do was make a decision to follow through with the rest of the steps. Would I? Of course Iwould. The life I was living when I came in here was the best I could do with my will, and that was horrible! It wasn't a hard decision to make. Since then, I have been guided by my Higher Power and those He puts in my life, into a deeper understanding of what it means to "turn it over". I love what God has done in my life today. Anything I have or am is His doing not mine. "Of myself I am nothing, the Father doeth the works." I just try daily to seek and do His will as best I can. Thank you God for AA and Thank you AA for a close personal relationship with the God of my understanding. A Happy Joyous and Free 24 to you all. Sober IS Better!
Member: Adam H.
Location: Nagano, JAPAN
Date: 4/22/01
Time: 7:31:17 PM
Adam, alcoholic.
Yeah, I'm right on with all these folks emphasizing that Step 3 is, above all, a decision. I did say that Third Step Prayer from the Big Book with my sponsor at the time, and I don't know if I got any closer to God as I understand God today when I finished saying that prayer, but I do know that the feeling was that I was making a promise to do the rest of the Steps, and the person in that Group of Drunks who had what I wanted (aka, my sponsor) was there to hear me say it and then guide me the rest of the way through the Steps. It was a great feeling--one that assured me I was doing the right thing...finally. I think that's "the great effect" that they talk about in the Big Book.
Grateful to be alive and sober.
Member: Rachel
Location: Harrisburg
Date: 4/22/01
Time: 9:28:11 PM
Hi, I'm Rachel and I am an alcoholic. When I remember to hand my will and my life over to the care of God...it's so amazing!!! This is my favorite step. When I started doing this my life changed. My life is managed much better without my help and will. Almost a year ago I moved from my home group/city. Since then I haven't gotten settled in my now AA community and I'm unhappy. And I spend 99% of the day trying to figure out how to make me better...I'm so in my head...so self-involved. It reminds me of when I was trying to manage my life as a drunk. Self-will run riot. When I chose to do step 3 God is in charge and all I have to focus on is today, now...staying sober...helping an alcoholic and ....from experience my career flourishes. I love AA!!!!!!!
Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 4/22/01
Time: 10:34:28 PM
Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome newcomers! Thanks for the sincere shares!
I have mentioned previously concerning Step 3 that when I first made the decision to "turn it over," I based it on the realization that the only thing I knew about what God's will for me was that He wanted me to stay sober.
It was in this context, then, that I made the decision to "turn it over." Then it became a matter of me not picking up the first drink and trying to practice AA principles and the Steps of the program as suggested.
Admittedly, there have been plenty of times over the years where, due to fear, I have taken back my will, but it does not occur as often as it once did, because I have learned that the results of taking my will back are not worth it.
Member: BM
Location: Texas
Date: 4/23/01
Time: 10:50:43 AM
Hello: My name is Brian and Im an alcoholic, this is my first time doing this and Im real nervous talking about my problems. But after my 2nd DWI I feel that its time for a CHANGE.
Member: Keith
Location:
Date: 4/23/01
Time: 1:00:09 PM
I have been a "dry drunk" for 5 mo. now and I think that the third step is where my problem lies. Giving up my earthly desires and turning my life over is tough, I have so many selfish habits to overcome. Saying the words that I turn my will and life over to God is easy, meaning it, when I enjoy so many things that would not please God (as I understand him) is hard. I am too selfish and feel that (especially without drinking) I deserve to concentrate on my comfort and spend time on things I enjoy instead of chores and helping others.
Member: Yvonne
Location: Scotland
Date: 4/23/01
Time: 2:27:31 PM
When I was drinking I prayed desperately to any God who might listen to me and felt a terrible spiritual emptiness. But now I have been sober for a short time I just seem to feel numb. I have talked to Christians, Buddhists, Humanists, Atheists.....anybody who seems to have that feeling of inner contentment and have found a solution with a higher power that works for them. But all I seem to be gaining from this constant spiritual quest is a sense of confusion and an even greater sense of aloneness. I find it hard to even make a decision to hand my life over when I have no idea of the real meaning of belief or faith. I don't think I have ever really had faith in anything or anybody in my life as I learnt from a young age never to trust anyone but myself. The hardest part of searching for spirituality is how empty it can leave you feeling when you can't find anything inside you. Especially when you feel you may have found something but it always proves to be too elusive to hold on to. I cannot gain the power from a group of people as I always end up judging them and demanding spiritual perfection from them. I wonder if this is why I never get past step one.
Love Yvonne
Member: Donnie M(dos3-1-99)
Location: W.Va.
Date: 4/23/01
Time: 3:32:15 PM
Hi,to all this was a scary step for me when I first started in the program, because I had blamed GOD for almost all my problem`s. I was in such denial that I had a drinking problem, because I just drank only BEER. So I never tried to understand GOD until I went to rehab and started the A.A. program. I came to understand that prayer was not answered fast to be honest sometime`s it is pretty damn slow, but that was another learning exprience that I had to understand that GOD is listening just say it and he hear`s it. I`ve came to a understanding with him that I do`nt drink and life just keep`s getting better everyday. Today I has became a we in this program and with GOD I ca`nt fail. I`m so glad Bill W. put this step third because I needed it as soon as I could get it, so thank`s to everyone and keep trying and GOD BLESS ALL WHO TRY.
Member: Barbara S.
Location: USA
Date: 4/23/01
Time: 4:42:59 PM
Hi Yvonne -
I don't know, even today, exactly how this step came to be part of my life. It definitely didn't happen all at once. I don't think I could really say what I believe about God, either - and that seems to be OK, too. My uncle was sober in A.A. for 35 years and he never believed in God at all. So the world is wide - don't worry too much about it all. You've made your decision to stay sober, and that's what counts.
They used to say, "Don't drink, even if your a** falls off." And that's what I did. I still kept searching and seeking, but just stayed sober no matter what. I found some nice people to talk to in A.A., and we talked and talked and talked and pretty soon, as I read somewhere, we'd talked the urge to drink to death. So that helped me a lot, too.
I just knew I wasn't going anywhere if I kept drinking, and I really wanted to try. Thank God (and I suppose this is how I think of God, now), it worked.
Good luck to you!
Member: A servant
Location: USA
Date: 4/23/01
Time: 4:56:32 PM
Yvonne: I can see what your problem is! There is only one True Living God, and He is a Spirit, the author through the hands of His servants of the Holy Words of Scripture! The Bible! As far as the world's religions are concerned, you would fare better from an Atheist standpoint who is searching and willing to learn of this Supreme God! Starting at finding some fault with Darwin's Theory of Evolution, and seeking for a better thing to believe in, with honesty, you will always be led to this True God. As far as "taking the name of God Most High for falsehood," no organized grouping does this more than organized religion! An independent, open-minded, free-will private study of the Bible is what you need to look into!! And Atheism is a good place to start from!!
Member: Erick M.
Location: North Carolina
Date: 4/23/01
Time: 6:51:38 PM
hi, I'm Erick and I am a alcoholic. I have recently discovered that I have a serious problem with Alcohol. I am trying to stay sober. The higher power is helping me and I know that i can do it with good fellowship.
Member: tammy
Location:
Date: 4/23/01
Time: 6:53:17 PM
wheres lu-lu?i need her professional help in my cleavage if you know what i mean.
Member: Erick M.
Location: Nc
Date: 4/23/01
Time: 6:57:25 PM
Hi Tammy
Member: Lucy V
Location: London UK
Date: 4/23/01
Time: 7:22:24 PM
Hi,
My names Lucy & I'm an alcoholic, I've been sober for 17 months, but have only attended 3 AA meetings mainly because I'm disabled and have been very unwell.I have found comfort and strength sometimes by praying. Last year I nearly died when varices burst in my throat and stomach, a combination of many years of drinking and in the later stage of my drinking I was on lots of medication. I nearly bled to death at the age of 38 yrs. This has kept me sober along with my wonderful husband. I have liver cirrohosis, but am doing great. Anyone out there who doesn't think its possible to stop drinking, I AM LIVING PROOF THAT YOU CAN. Good luck to everybody. YOU CAN DO IT!
Member: Fran S.
Location: UK
Date: 4/23/01
Time: 7:39:51 PM
Dear Yvonne,
I know exactly what you mean, when I first stopped drinking I tried AA and couldn't understand (and still don't) the steps. I don't get to go to meetings very often because I'm disabled, but the mear fact that you've been sober for a short time is that you've accepted that you have a problem. I couldn't get my head around the steps - I now realise that this doesn't matter. Whatever works for you - go with it. I've managed to keep sober for the first year simply because I was so ill. Now I'm physically much better, it's harder, however life is better, I feel so good when I wake up and enjoy my life most of the time. I get very lonely too, however I know if I started drinking again I'd be far lonelier, and dead (according to my Doctor) within a few months. Well done for being sober and try and hang in there. Stick with it! I'm looking forward to hearing about your progress.
Member: Ingrid R.
Location: PA
Date: 4/23/01
Time: 8:51:21 PM
Hi, my name is Ingrid and I am an alcoholic. I am newly sober, for almost 24 hours, but feel totally petrified that I may run out to buy beer before the night is over. Step 3 is what I need to get through these times, to decide to let my H.P. take the reins. I had some success with this a few months ago, and stayed sober for almost a month. I got depressed, though, for many reasons and one thing led to another. I had not found a sponsor yet, and have a really tough time reaching out to people. This time, I must completely surrender to my H.P. because I cannot be in control...I will destroy myself!
Member: Fran S.
Location: UK
Date: 4/23/01
Time: 9:24:12 PM
Ingrid R. KEEP ONE TRACK! Call AA if you need a beer. Don't destroy yourself, you will be petrified, we all are at first. Look at Lucy's message (WELL DONE BY THE WAY LUCY) hang in there. Think how pleased you'll be tomorrow if you don't have a drink. GOOD LUCK. I'll look out for your progress.
Member: Pam B
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Date: 4/23/01
Time: 9:41:20 PM
Hi, I'm Pam, an alcoholic, Before I could do Step 3, I had to know I am Powerless over alcohol - that my life is unmanageable. Each time I got the constant cravings to drink/drug those early months, I did as my sponsor had told me to simply pray & ask God to remove them - and He always did.
I cannot define God & I am aware that He is way more than what He has revealed of Himself to me - but Step 2 was also necessary before I could do Step 3 . . . my HP whom I choose to call God had shown me each time He had answered prayer to remove the cravings, that He is the Power far greater than the power alcohol & drugs had over me. I believed (knew) this Power exists that is GREATER than my own will-power alone & I could rely on the Power to keep me from taking a drink or a drug, one day at a time, if I wanted sobriety.
Step 3 was simply saying YES - my decision is to rely on that Power greater than myself, putting all the effort of my willpower into agreement with His Will for me - which is to go on with the remainder of the Steps, following this program as it is lain out, so I could achieve sobriety. Thanks for letting me share & for all the great posts here. Pam
Member: Paul M
Location: Ohio
Date: 4/24/01
Time: 7:26:40 AM
Hi, I'm Paul an alcoholic. When I get out of the way and let my HP dictate my actions even tough times get better. I struggled because I complicated things. I thought I was a religious person, why did I feel so unattached with God? I heard a lead the other night and the answer was so simple I was glad I was sitting down. I was trying to equate religion with spirituality. This wise lady giving the lead said "religion is the way we worship God, spirituality is the way we live with God in our lives" What that said to me was if I work the 12 steps to the best of my ability then God is in my life.All of my solutions are in those steps, I just have to make a decision (be willing ) to let it happen. God will decide what needs to be in my life if I get out of the way.
Member: Chrissy S
Location: Wisconsin
Date: 4/24/01
Time: 9:08:13 AM
Hi- Chris, addict alcoholic.
"Made a decision to turn our lives and our will over the the care of god, as we understood him."
I need this step in every motion I make. I am not in charge. One friend in the program boils down the first three steps this way, I can't: step 1, he can: step 2, so let him: step 3. Then whenever any person place or thing steps in the way of my serenity, I also plug it into the "How important is it" thing on page 452. This works for me, one day at a time for 8 and a half years. But I think only because I attend A.A. meetings. Honestly, somtimes I dont want to go to A.A., but a sponsor told me once, "you go, take your medicine". Moving from a large city to a small town has really effected my A.A. I am grateful for the A.A. upbringing I had in the large city, and for step 3.
Member: Kathleen N
Location: Floral City, Fl
Date: 4/24/01
Time: 2:38:09 PM
Hello everyone,
Kathleen here alcoholic. Lot's of good stuff said here and I agree witn most. However, there was mentioned somewhere about there only being one God...That is not what AA taught me. The steps taught me that my hp is a God of my understanding. And for that I am very grateful.
Step 3, "made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood him." I too, took this step with my sponser.
As far as faith goes, and not understanding it, my mom once told me, many many years ago on a family vacation out west. We were riding along in the car and I asked her what faith meant. She said, "well see that big hill coming up in the road? We have faith that when the car gets to the top, there will be a road on the other side and we won't just fall off."
That was very simple for me to understand. So Faith to me is believing. I belive that my HP, God as I understand him, is going to lead me in the right direction. I just know He is there and able to "Do for me what I cannot do for myself."
THis is a great site, I'm new here but will be back.
Thank you all for being here for me because without ya'll, I wouldn't be sober.
Kathleen rambler@atlantic.net
Member: Sarah
Location: NW USA
Date: 4/24/01
Time: 6:27:31 PM
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him. once, I asked my sponser whom had twenty years in the program what "God" this step was talking about. She gave me a very wise answer...she said the "healing power" of the experience,strength and hope of the program. There is a "healing power" in the steps and the traditions. I have found that I need both "my turning my will and life over to that "healing power", and "the 'group of drunks' turning their will and life over to that "healing power" for the hand of the "healing power" of recovery from this disease to be there for me and for you. I really like this step and tradition meeting with people from all over the world sharing their experience, strength and hope of the "healing power", THANKS! It helps me to stay sober today.
Member: Jack B.
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Date: 4/25/01
Time: 2:32:49 AM
Hi, I am Jack a real alcoholic.I truly believe that this is a threefold disease.It affects the body, the, mind, and the soul.Step one takes care of the physical aspect of our disease, if I don't pick up the first drink, I can't get drunk.Step two took care of the mental obsession.Step three I believe is where the spiritual healing begins.As our literature says, this step opens the door.I keep this program as simple as possible.Step three for me quite simply is a firm commitment to God and the twelve step program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless.
Member: Betsie- the gay boy
Location: cape town - south africa
Date: 4/25/01
Time: 5:11:30 AM
"Made a decision" That was all I needed for this step. The only thing I truly knew about God , is that I was deff. not Him. My years of acctive alc. left me spiritually dead and I did not know where to look. That's O.K. Let it be, He will come to you. It does not matter who your H.P. is only that HE IS . To keep it simple is the foundation of this program. Now is not the time for me to try and define God, but just to hand it over. Play simple Simon !! The Big Book says:.... - and do it!!!
Member: your friends
Location:
Date: 4/25/01
Time: 12:19:07 PM
Jimmy D
Please don't yell. Thank you.
Member: Ken C - dos 19/06/77
Location: Winnipeg
Date: 4/25/01
Time: 6:35:09 PM
Hi All,
What follows is a post I made about problems with Step 3 that I made some time ago. It is long, but if you have had problems with the step, it might be worth reading. It begins:
((Ardis)) basically, I agree that the ãhow toä is in the first 164 pages, but I also believe many if not most of us come to AA with certain pre-conceived notions and there is also room for misinterpretation. These notions and misinterpretations are not necessarily cleared up on those pages. For instance, just the other day a man I am sponsoring said: ãI still have doubts as to whether I really believe in God, and therefore I donât see how I can do Step Three because I canât turn my will and my life over if Iâm not sure.ä Previous to this talk I had with him, he had said in our meeting: ãItâs probably going to take me a couple of years before I can do step four.ä Obviously he had legitimate reservations in his mind and had not found the answer in the reading or in the meetings.
When I talked with him, the first thing I pointed out was that Step Three is not where or how we turn our will and life over to the care of God. Step Three only calls for the decision to do so. The actual practice of this comes in the steps that follow. In large measure, step three is only a matter of willingness to turn over my will as I uncover it in steps 4 and 5 and then complete it in steps 6 and 7. Some people might add that step 3 is more than willingness alone. They would say that it is a ãsurrender your life to the Lordä step. Well, as it turns out later, we often do this as we go through the remaining steps, but for many of us the concept of a complete surrender here and now, not only seems impossible, it actually is impossible. How for instance can one surrender what he or she is not yet aware of? In addition, even assuming a person is willing, if he or she is honest, there has to be huge doubts in the mind as to even being able to keep such a commitment (the essence of which seems to be a promise). We simply donât have the strength to do that.
A much more rational approach might be needed for many of us. For example, if we are told that we can look at this on an item by item basis so as to get the hang of it, we might be more successful. If I was a newcomer today, I would appreciate it if some one told me this: ãKen, I can see you are having trouble with this Îturning it overâ business so let me make a suggestion. Suppose you developed a severe pain in your abdomen. What would you do? Likely you would go as quickly as possible to a hospital, right? Then what would you do? You would find out what a doctor had to say about it, right? Then what would you do? Eventually, my sponsor would get it through my head that when I first felt the pain, I made a decision, much as in step three, to turn my will and life over to the care of a doctor, because I saw that as the best thing to do. Then once I began the trip to the hospital, (and only then) did I put my decision into action by actually submitting to the doctorâs ãway of doing business.ä Probably too, as a result, I am alive today, whereas had I not made the decision to surrender, I would not be alive. But my sponsor would not end it there. He would say: ãNow letâs think a moment about what happened once you agreed to do things the doctorâs way. What happened at that moment?ä Of course being brand new, I wouldnât have a clue. But the sponsor would ask, ãDid you not agree to put your trust in the doctor and his judgment?ä ãWell yes,ä I would have said. ãThen when you did that, was it in reality an act of faith on your part?ä ãYes, you foxy old sponsor, so now you have tricked me into having to admit that I am capable of faith, even though I didnât think I was capable of it any more!ä ãIs what you are saying, is that I simply have to make a decision in step three to turn my will and life over (to my Higher Power) IF, AS, and WHEN, the occasion arises AND, in only in cases where I can plainly see that I have a choice between what I come to learn is Godâs way of doing business, compared to my usual way?ä The sponsor would likely laugh here and say: ãLook you dummy, how can you turn anything over, before the ãanythingä happens!! You might have good intentions today, and think you will, but the proof of the pudding is still in the eating, right?ä
So whatâs my point? The point is first, that the first 164 pages do not effectively deal with some of the hidden reservations and misconceptions we may have. In some cases, elaboration based on the experience of those who have gone ahead is needed. The second point, is that the process is simple. Anyone can decide today that he or she is willing to not steal in the future because they see it as Godâs will. The actual doing of the step takes place when temptation arises. And, if at that time, he or she is still willing to submit his or her will to what he or she believes to be Godâs will, then the benefit of feeling secure will follow. And, as we submit in other things, we will not only feel more secure, but will feel joyus and free as well, and we will finally realize we belong and are a part of, rather than apart from. Finally we will also see that we are comfortable in our own skins even if we are isolated from others having to live alone, except for meetings and work. The old demons that used to drive us back to drinking will no longer exist.
Member: tm
Location:
Date: 4/26/01
Time: 6:40:31 PM
life sucks
Member: tm
Location:
Date: 4/26/01
Time: 6:41:33 PM
life sucks
Member: tm
Location:
Date: 4/26/01
Time: 6:41:36 PM
life sucks
Member: tm
Location:
Date: 4/26/01
Time: 6:41:38 PM
life sucks
Member: tm
Location:
Date: 4/26/01
Time: 6:41:41 PM
life sucks
Member: to TM
Location:
Date: 4/26/01
Time: 7:36:13 PM
tm- stop bitching and do something about it. Ask for help!!! Be honest with yourself. You CAN be happier... it does take some action on your part though. Are you ready? Get to a face to face meeting and don't take that first drink. Accept help from others- there's plenty of people out there willing to help YOU.
Member: Mary
Location: SC
Date: 4/26/01
Time: 8:29:28 PM
Lucy, I have heard of varices as the result of our disease. It sounds real scary. I am glad you shared and hope things will be okay for you. I have osteoporsis myself. I have had a couple of broken bones, but no pain otherwise. I am lucky. This is a crazy disease. I found out several years ago I had osteoporsis and did not stop drinking. Could not stop. I hope this time I have really made the commitment enough to this program to stick with it. I have gotten more encouragement, good basic advice from the last two days at this site than at the AA meetings I have attended. I can go back and reread things and really have a chance to think about the things that are said here, which I can't really do at a face to face meeting, because I have trouble listening and remembering. I like the simple things that have been said, like the only thing I know about God's will for me is that he wants me to stay sober. I get nuts trying to complicate things and figure everything out. Something simple I can latch onto and not worry myself to death. Thanks everyone for sharing. Mary
Member: Dan A
Location: Bismarck ND
Date: 4/26/01
Time: 8:55:24 PM
Hello i'm Dan and i am an alcoholic,I just came back into the program last august,and man is ever tough there days i feel like i am losing my mind.step 3 is a helpful step it helps me remember i am no longer in the drivers seat.let go and let God.besides going to F2F meetings i'm trying to find as many online meetings i can as want my soberity to work this time around.i just hope it gets easier for me.my sponsor tells me ODAAT and things will get easier.the thing i keep wondering is how long i will keep having these drunk dreams and if thats normal to have them. sober today Dan
Member: Raleigh W
Location: Washington, D.C.
Date: 4/26/01
Time: 10:02:03 PM
Hi everyone, and thanks for sharing Dan and Yvonne. I can relate to the constant in and out Dan... I did it for 11 years. Somehow, through it all, I had the misconception that AA was a self help group, geared towards helping me learn to control my life. Fortunately I lived long enough to realize that lie. I always figured if I found the right person, had enough money, owned a house, had a lot of pretty friends, that I would be okay. That philosophy kept me searching and almost killed me. Only after I achieved all of these things, and was still empty, still alone, did my bottom come up to reach me. As to the third step, I try and keep it really simple, because I'm a thinker and I think great thoughts:) Step one - I'm screwed, my way doesn't work. Step two, It looks like whatever you people in AA are doing, it's working for you. Step three - I think that I'll try what you're doing. Yvonne, I have spent my life thus far searching for that magical moment of oneness, that moment of clarity and the sign from God to show me the way. What I didn't realize before was that it was unimportant as to what I believed, and to whom I prayed, just so long as I took action. A suggestion would be to read the 3rd step in the 12&12. Note the number of times the words willingness and action come up.... it's not a coincidince. I have to be willing to actually do something about my sobriety. If I stop drinking... things can sometimes get worse, IF I'm not doing anything to change. And the pain will continue to get worse until in desparation I either follow the simple directions outlined in this program of action, or I will drink again. And for me to drink is worse than to die, it would mean a return to the insanity of my alcoholism, drinking after everyone else has gone home or asleep... trying to stop the committee in my head, and sinking deeper into that lonliness and despair so common to the alcoholic, yet so unbearable. Spiritual life or alcoholic death? Not always an easy choice. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Lucy
Location: london UK
Date: 4/27/01
Time: 10:20:05 AM
Hi Mary
Thanks for your support. I'm glad you're pain free with your osteoporsis. My joints are flairing with psoriatic arthitis (one of the many reasons I used to use to justify my drinking)! However, positive thinking, opiates that I have to take and lots of support helps. I'm having a bad health day - haven't had one for a while. I try to be positive and read everyone's messages and give thanks that I am still sober.
Good luck to everybody.
Member: Philomena DOS 11/04/94
Location: Haceinda Hts, So California
Date: 4/27/01
Time: 11:58:00 AM
Good morning, Philomena here, greatful alcoholic,
I want you all to know I won't be here for the next two days. So here is my posting for Daily Reflections for today & for 4/28 & 4/29 if anyone wants to read them. I am going to be at the 20th Annual Southern California Hospital & Institution Conference of Alcoholics Anonymous with Al-Anon & Spanish Participation. I was nominated the Ribbon Chairman. I will be leaving to go this afternoon and staying a the Doubletree Hotel in Orange,CA. Anyone in that area this weekend, that would like to come by, check it out on the internet for more information email at, SoCalH_IQuestions@hotmail.com or call (714)839-2658. Discover the High in H & I!
APRIL 27, DAILY REFLECTIONS JOYFUL DISCOVERIES We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven't got. See to it that your relationship with Him Is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us. Alcoholics Anonymous, p.164
Sobriety is a journey of joyful discovery. Each day brings new experience, awareness, greater hope, deeper faith, broader tolerance. I must maintain these attributes or I will have nothing to pass on. Great events for this recovering alcoholic are the normal everyday joys found in being able to live another day in God's grace.
APRIL 28, DAILY REFLECTIONS TWO "MAGNIFICENT STANDARDS' All AA progress can be reckoned in terms of just two words: humility and responsibility. Our whole spiritual development can be accurately measured by our degree of adherence to these magnificent standards. As Bill Sees It, p 271
To acknowledge and respect the views, accomplishments and prerogatives of others and to accept being wrong shows me the way of humility. To practice the principles of AA in all my affairs guides me to be responsible. Honoring these precepts gives credence to Tradition Four\and to all other Traditions of the Fellowship. Alcoholics Anonymous has evolved a philosophy of life full of valid motivations, rich in highly relevant principles and ethical values, a view of life which can be extended beyond the confines of the alcoholic population. To honor these precepts I need only to pray, and care for my fellow man as if each one were my brother.
APRIL 29, DAILY REFLECTIONS GROUP AUTONOMY Some may think that we have carried the principle of group autonomy to extremes. For example, in its original "long form," Tradition Four declares: "Any two or three gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an AA group, provided that as a group they have no other affiliation."*...But this ultra-liberty is not so risky as it looks. AA Comes of Age, pp. 104-05
As an active alcoholic, I abused every liberty that life afforded. How could AA expect me to respect the "ultra-liberty" bestowed by Tradition Four? Learning respect has become a lifetime job. AA has made me fully accept the necessity of discipline and that, if I do not assert the necessity of discipline and that, if I do not assert it from within, then I will pay for it. This applies to groups too. Tradition Four points me in a a spiritual direction, in spite of my alcoholic inclinations.
*This is a misquote; Bill quoted the Third Tradition, but was referring to Tradition Four.
"Thank you for letting me share."
THIS A GROUP HUG (((FOR ALL OF YOU HERE NOW & ANYONE COMING HERE LATER. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SHARING & FOR BEING HERE)))
ALL of you are in my thoughts and prayers.
KCB...Keep coming back. Remember to keep it simple. One day at a time. Take Care. Peace. God bless you (((ALL))), love, Philomena
Member: Michelle T.
Location: Denver, CO
Date: 4/27/01
Time: 12:02:38 PM
Why is it seening something in writing more than once has such an impact? I have worked the steps and never got "made a decision" as the most important part of step 3. Sometimes, I go round and round in my head if what I am doing is "God's Will or "self-will". For 21 months of sobriety I have gone through this tennis match in my head. Now, I have peace. I will take the issue and make the decision to turn it over to God, and let him do the rest. Many thanks for all who shared in giving me peace and serenity regarding this issue.
Member: Made a decision?
Location:
Date: 4/27/01
Time: 5:19:55 PM
What more have you done in the way of God now that you have "made a decision" to turn your will and life over to the care of God, than if you had "made a decision" not to?
Member: joey littleton
Location:
Date: 4/27/01
Time: 5:42:55 PM
im scared my ding dong might fall off
Member: teej
Location: San Diego
Date: 4/27/01
Time: 6:00:42 PM
Hey, Joey...you don't drink no matter what (even if it does!)
Member: AnilG
Location: Mt vernon,Illinois
Date: 4/28/01
Time: 8:36:18 AM
I am anil I am an alcoholic it is insane thing to drink and do drugs. What id ythe cure for this insanity? only and when we turn ourselves and will to god he can cure our insanity.
Member: Tarita M.
Location: Upstate
Date: 4/28/01
Time: 12:13:20 PM
When I got tired of being beaten to the ground, I wanted to lifted back up and the only way to do that for me was to turn my life and my will over to a power greater than myself. I tell you I was entirely ready to do whatever it took to bring me up from that bottom that I'd hit and give myself a chance at what I saw the people in the rooms had had. Peace and serenity is what I looked for daily in the bottom of the bottle of booze. My HP has afforded me the opportunity to live the life that I was so desperately in pursuit of, that is, if I abide by his will which to me are the 12 Steps of AA. I know that I'm not perfect but, as long as I continue to progess all will be well. My will and way is what got me in this spot that I'm in so I have to turn over what I can't handle alone. I used to think that I could handle anything that was hurled my way but I was WRONG!!! GOD won't lead astray. And to the other tm, try making that decision you may find that life is really worth living and remember, you get back what you put into it.
Tarita M. Sincere Recovering Alcoholic
Member: joey
Location:
Date: 4/28/01
Time: 9:47:58 PM
thanks teej,
have you seen my mr.winkey anywhere?
Member: Pete S
Location: Maryland
Date: 4/28/01
Time: 11:05:27 PM
Good evening all, I'm Pete, and I'm an alcoholic. Can't believe that it's been a week since I last looked at this site. Step three is not something I want to miss any discussion on.
The decision to turn my life and will over to God, was a traumatic one. Actually, idea of doing so cane before I started in the program but was realized afterwards.
I was in jail waiting my court date. I had asked to see the chaplain, and after what seemed an interminable wait, I finally got to talk to him. We had a pleasant enough conversation, but one thing that he said to me stuck in my head. His comment was that I had replaced God with a bottle of Scotch, and that was the root of my problems, legal and emotional. At first I thought that it was a bunch of crap, but it made me think, and take stock of my situation. I started to pray that night, for the first time in a long time. I asked for God's help. I asked for his help every morning, and thanked him every evening. He did help, Legal mountains were flattened, my way into the program was assured. When I first read the steps, and saw the third one in print, all I could think was AMEN. I don't have to rule the world, there is a higher power for that. I don't have to be judgemental, he can take that burden. I don't have to fight this addiction alone, he can and does help carry that burden. Yes, step three is only a decision, but for me it was more a confirmation of what I had learned a few months earlier
Member: Ronnie B.
Location: St. Pete, FL
Date: 4/29/01
Time: 12:29:41 AM
Hi! I'm Ronnie and I'm an alcoholic. I'm also new to these online meetings. Step 3 is sometimes hard for me to let go and let God. Sometimes I'm not sure if I am doing my will or God's will. But I do try and make that decision to turn my will over to God in the morning and throughout the day. I do know that when I take control all hell breaks loose. When God is in control things run smoothly. Not always the way I want them to but at least I feel I'm growing from the changes that I'm going through in my life. I feel that they are for the better. In my prayers in the morning I always say, "God you are the driver and I am just a passenger on the road of life, may you help me to stay on the short and narrow without taking any shortcuts or detours". It allows me to accept the direction of God's will for me and then I'm on his way. Thanks for listening and to all of you, Let Go and Let God. Sober only by the Grace of God.
Member: paul.p
Location: binghamton, ny
Date: 4/29/01
Time: 12:39:00 AM
step 3 is very hard for me....god...is a nonfactor in my life...sobriety is important ..but i feel overwhelmed more than rehab.. drugs god or loved ones can do...im a big strong man but obviously not strong enough..........im drinking as we speak.....paul....bingham
Member: paul p
Location: binghamton
Date: 4/29/01
Time: 1:04:27 AM
im in the inside looking out.....confused...drunk.....why?...its lts love self esteem..confidence....or the lack of...alcohol kicking in....what is my course now oh high n mighty
Member: Melissa B.
Location: Canada
Date: 4/29/01
Time: 11:54:14 AM
Oh, man, when I read posts like the ones above from Paul I always wonder if they will remember making them, and come back, or if the post will disappear into that old alcoholic oblivion. It's heartbreaking to read, and be so very familiar with that old alcoholic hell. I feel grateful beyond any expression to be past being 'on the inside looking out' and to just 'be'. I don't know that I understand step three, but I do know that I practice it every day. I just make a decision. I can't even write what is is that I do. Maybe it's only a daily reminder that I have a better self if I let myself be guided by it. The phrase that strikes a chord with me is 'we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divourced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives.' I just say the words; it feels like I mean them. When I look at my life and how it has changed in the 22 months that I have been sober, it's hard not to see that this program really does work. Things really do get better. I do pray for the sick and the suffering, and I am so damn grateful that I may still be sick but it sure doesn't feel like I'm suffering anymore. Actually, it doesn't feel like I'm sick either. It feels like I'm changing, and thank god for that.
Member: lucie
Location: los angeles, california
Date: 4/29/01
Time: 2:53:25 PM
This is my very first day and I can't comment on the step, but I can say that I am confused.
Member: nypoma R
Location:
Date: 4/29/01
Time: 3:50:54 PM
Iam just starting my third step. I have procrastinated on it for about a week now. I feel stuck and i hate it!!!!!!!!!!!!