Member: Jenn P.
Location: Poconos, Pa
Date: 4/16/00
Time: 9:13:35 AM
Good morning all! Jenn here - an alcoholic who is happy, joyous, and free! This 10th step gives me what I always needed. Directions for living on a daily basis with a sense of ease and comfort. It tells me how to practice steps 4-9 as I go along living this new life I've been given. I review it often, and I love the promises found at the bottom of page 84, about not fighting alcohol anymore. Those things have come true in my life. It surely is NOT an overnight matter though, and I fall short all the time, but it is so much better than it used to be. I am in peace most of the time with the world around me. I try to always keep in the forefront of my thoughts that "love and tolerance of others is our code".
I take it one day at a time, that's what "continued" means to me. Practice this the best I can each day. I do grow, seemingly in spite of myself, and I change in ways I never thought I could. I really love the girl I see in the mirror today, and that is a far cry from how I felt when I got here. Thank you all for letting me share, and have a great-ful day!
Member: Dan W.
Location: ok
Date: 4/16/00
Time: 12:03:29 PM
thanks jenn, I can't add much to what you shared except that the promises are a result of working steps 1-10. I like that it says that by now sanity has returned and like you said I live sainly and serenly most of the time. Thanks again.
Member: Harry K
Location: England
Date: 4/16/00
Time: 3:18:40 PM
Hi, I'm Harry and I'm an alcoholic. The 10th step for me is a constant, sometimes moment by moment process.If I wait till the end of the day to do it, it's to late. Much of the "crap" and internal trash I have manufactured in the course of my 24 hours usually gets forgotten but not buried. Creating for myself an emotional "Love Canal" if not checked. I often, in the course of my day have to stop and ask myself, "whats going on here? What am I so afraid of? Why am I resenting this person?".
It's very easy for me to give myself an "all clear" if I wait till the evening. I also found by practicing the step this way, it keeps me in the present and more prepared to deal with whatever is going on with me before the situation becomes totaly unmanageable. God forbid I don't do it at all...the old arch enemy (ME) moves right back in and disables me in no time! My sponsor taught me to take what was written literally, "A daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition". I must never allow myself to forget that. Also, one last thing he would tell me... "When we were wrong we promptly addmited it. NOT promptly apologised" A good point; I spent my whole life saying "I'm sorry", It was easy! Having to go up to someone and say,"I was Wrong to.....". Well, that's not so easy and when I have to approach somebody and tell them "I was wrong" it makes me think a little bit and I become a little less anxious before I allow myself the impulse to repeat it. Thank you for letting me type.
Member: LYNDA VR
Location: NORTHERN WISCONSIN
Date: 4/16/00
Time: 10:32:17 PM
HI, I'M LYNDA AND I'M AN ALCOHOLIC. STEP 10 IS FOR ME A "MINDFULNESS" STEP. HELPS ME STAY ON THE PATH AND NOT GET TOO TWISTED UP WHEN I GET SIDETRACKED. AND I'M WITH YOU HARRY - THIS IS NOT SIMPLY AN APOLOGY, IT'S THE ABILITY TO SAY I WAS WRONG, OR I MADE A MISTAKE. THAT'S POWERFUL ~ BECAUSE THRU THAT I PUT MY EGO ASIDE AND ALLOW AND ACKNOWLEDGE MY HUMANESS. WOW! DOES THAT TAKE OF SOME OF THE SELF-IMPOSED PRESSURE ~ AND WHO NEEDS IT EH? WELL, THANKS FOR BEING HERE - I LOVE THIS SITE. PASS
Member: Doug K
Location: West Michigan
Date: 4/17/00
Time: 12:34:37 AM
Hi everybody, my name is Doug and I'm an alcoholic. In those early days of my sobriety, I was truly afraid of the references to God that were included in some of the steps. I was also afraid of not getting sober. And then I was afraid of facing the things I had done and the person I had become. Step ten was one that I thought I might be able to do. I could see that the mess of my life could end there if this step was well used. With all the honesty I could muster, I began practicing this step throughout the course of every day. The freedom, the humility, the fact that each day I could see me do some things right, were a boost that was terribly important. Today I use step ten as a constant measure of my spirituality. It can tell me in a moment if I am or am not working at the program. A moment of introspection, a few moments to correct my errors (truthfully and humbly), a little gratitude, and I'm back in sync with my Higher Power and the full miracle of the peace and serenity is mine again. Thanks
Member: chuckm
Location: Alberta
Date: 4/17/00
Time: 2:52:05 AM
I'm chuck, an alcoholic. I found this step the hardest to understand. Many were saying that this was a daily step. To me step 11 is the daily step. I finally checked it out in the Big Book and came to realize that it was there to get me out of insanity. To get out of insanity I must do steps 4 to 9 as step 10 tells me.
My understanding of my condition is that I am either spiritual or insane. When I lose my spirituality I need step 10 to get me back on track.
Because I have practised step11 every day for years I have more spiritual days than not and do not need step 10 on those days. God's plan works.
Peace and Serenity
Member: CEC H
Location: COWTOWN
Date: 4/17/00
Time: 4:32:26 AM
Hi all Cec H alkie here, I like Step Ten, Because if I do it on a daily bases, I donn't ever have to do another Fourth. I'd rather take me in small doses.And that's what Ten allows me to do. Another 24 to go, please and another 24 for you.
Member: Tim V.
Location: Treasurer
Date: 4/17/00
Time: 8:11:19 AM
Pass the Hat. 7th Tradition: "We have no dues or fees, we are self supporting through our own contributions."
Member: Tim V
Location: Poconos
Date: 4/17/00
Time: 8:21:14 AM
That little line from PP 90 of the 12X12 is my favorite in all AA literature. "It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us." I just never understood that until I was sober about a year. Then suddenly, I had a whole new way of looking at situations that was much more powerful and effective in creating serenity and self-confidence in me. I now realize that there is something I can change in every situation...me!
Member: Bob H.
Location: Triangle Club,South Bend,In.
Date: 4/17/00
Time: 9:31:32 AM
Hi Bob Alcoholic,thanks for being here for me it"s always great for me to get the reminders to continue to take MY inventory<and when I"M wrong Promply admit it>to God myself and others.The key word here for me is < promply>
Member: Tylene U.
Location: Defiance
Date: 4/17/00
Time: 7:27:43 PM
I have read some good stuff here. I do the 10 Step daily. My program teaches me to do this. There are times I do this more than once a day. When I first came in I didn't want to face the fact that I was wrong about anything. This program has given me so much. That I can't say enough about it. I'm still new at this I just started to come on line. The things I've seen and read make it all worth it. Thanks guys.
Member: Jack B.
Location: Cumbola Pa
Date: 4/18/00
Time: 2:50:58 AM
Hi I am Jack a real alcoholic. I think step 10 contains the most powerful consistent word in our recovery.The very first word continued.This means that we are never ever finished checking up on ourselves.Constantly acknowledging our shortcomings/character defects, acknowledging our strengths and assets.Constantly fixing the wreckage of the day so that it does not become the wreckage of our past.Step 10 thru 12 to me are the maintenance steps, which we must do daily to improve our quality of life, not only for ourselves but for those around us. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless.
Member: Lynn S
Location: OR
Date: 4/18/00
Time: 11:11:00 AM
I'm Lynn and alcoholic. This step is a good one but difficult to remember to do when I get caught up in everyday living. I struggle with the cares of each day and finding balance is hard at times. One of the things I use to do is beat myself up. I sometimes found it easier to act with low-self esteem, blame myself, rather than act with courage and confidence. I had a check list that I use to use that helped me to remember the importance of checking my good points and my weak points. I'm usually lacking in the category of patience-! It's good to get to know yourself and self-honesty is very difficult for anyone. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Jeannie P.
Location: Noon AA Group(Washington State)
Date: 4/18/00
Time: 9:41:08 PM
Hi! My name is Jeannie and I am a recovering alcoholic. Step ten is one that I take every night when I say my prayers. I look within myself to see if I have hurt anyone that day.....or allowed one of my many addictions to control me.. Like spending too much money on things I do NOT need! Or where did my huge EGO affect other people I was around today? Was I GREEDY? Did I dishonor and disrespect someone, or GOD? It take awhile to do this...then I ask forgiveness and ask GOD to "Give me the willingness to allow HIM to change me into the woman HE wants me to be." Sometimes I do a spot inventory during the day in case I need to say I am sorry right away, and admit where I was wrong. I do NOT hang onto guilt today! I forgive myself right away and go on and try to do better.I strive for spiritual PROGRESS, not perfection! Thanks.. Jeannie P.
Member: Marge W.
Location: Club East, Indpls., In
Date: 4/19/00
Time: 12:49:15 AM
The first wqord of this step is thew most important part of this step. Continued, means to keep on, not stop, keep going. As long as I continue, I will not forget this program, and where I came from to get here today. I will keep growing on this spiritual road of life along with everyother member a our 12 step programs. Thanks for being here for me tonight.
Member: anonymous
Location:
Date: 4/19/00
Time: 7:12:53 PM
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it...It's been pointed out to me, that if God is my Father, then Jesus Christ must be my brother.
Member: Barry K
Location: Lake Oswego,OR
Date: 4/19/00
Time: 7:43:17 PM
Hello, my name is Barry I'm an alcoholic. This is a very difficult step for me to remember to do on a daily basis. I just have to remember I'm not perfect and I'm doing the best I can. I am striving to make this a daily activity without thinking about it - one day at a time.
Member: Corinne B.
Location: Camino
Date: 4/19/00
Time: 11:43:35 PM
'Evenin' ((12&12ers))!! Corinne, Alcoholic here, there & nowhere in particular!!
This might sound a bit strange, but my first time through the steps, even after completing all the amends, I never felt qualified to live in the maintenance steps 10, 11 & 12. I don't know if it has anything to do with my being the youngest child and, therefore, never feeling like I would ever acheive the status necessary to be an adult, but I used to view the maintenance steps as something only the real "grownups" in AA were qualified to be practicing!
Luckily, I've realized, this time around, that my thinking was quite askew, shall we say! I realize now that everytime I catch myself before I'm about to say something I might regret, that I'm living in all 3 of the last 3 steps! Everytime I go to someone that I know I've offended and tell them that wasn't my intent, I realize I'm practicing Step 10, as well as Steps 11 & 12, because I've not only made instant amends, I've followed what HP's will for me is after attaining knowledge of it in meditation (or careful contemplation on a problem, for instance), as well as having practiced the AA principles in that particular affair. So, truly Steps 10, 11 & 12, for me, really do go hand-in-hand with each other in certain respects.
Member: sunny s
Location: New Bedford, MASS
Date: 4/20/00
Time: 12:01:10 AM
On pg 84 of the BB, Bill says that our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. He says to watch out for selfishness, resentment, dishonesty and fear. If these crop up, we do a 7th step at once. He then suggests that we do a 5th and then a 9th. He gives us a 10th step prayer,"How can I best serve Thee-Thy will(not mine) be done." So step 10 is an immediate course of action when we see that we are upset or wrong. He advises us to say the 10th step prayer constantly, and gives us permission to use our will power all we wish on this. Each of the steps suggests a course of action and a prayer to be said. He suggests in step 11 that we again constructively review the day and in essence do step 4 again. He suggests that we stay in a state of taking our own inventory. That was and sometimes still is a novel idea for me. My negativity had me in a constant stream of thought criticism of everyone and everything. Isn't that what intelligent people do? How can anything get done right if I don't tell people what is wrong? Thank you HP for lifting the burden of believing all that garbage. Old habits die hard though. I still can always tell you what is wrong with absolutely anything. I am getting better at not volunteering the information. I do ask on a daily basis to be allowed to serve and be helpful. What a turnaround to take my OWN inventory all day. What a turnaround to call someone on a daily basis if necessary to talk about MY faults. This is how I keep my daily reprieve. Admitting I'm wrong. Heck, just to cover the bases,I admit I could be wrong about things I'm pretty sure about. Helps to keep the ego in check. What a destructive child I was before the steps! The worst thing that could happen to me was to have to admit I'd done something wrong. Of course getting beaten for it influenced my feelings. But, you know what, the jerks didn't win. Their rules don't run my life now. I admit I'm wrong all the time now and they can't touch me. And not only that, I don't have to die drunk like other members of the family. Sometimes it takes a while to admit I'm wrong, but if I'm upset that is where I want my thinking to go. Making prompt amends makes it less likely that I will make exactly that same mistake again. But if I do, I correct it again and then I go back to thinking about someone I can help. It's not always a smooth process. I can still get a burning resentment on occasion. I'm trying to recover from the bleeding deacon stage of recovery. Taking my own inventory is definitely what it is about today. I have lovely sponsors with long term (32 &41 yrs) recovery who are entirely human and still capable of getting a resentment, a fear, a moment of selfish or dishonest thought. I need human sponsors. I never believe anyone who says "I don't get resentments anymore". For the most part, I don't act on my character defects today, but I definitely understand why Bill says this is a lifetime process. I think he confuses people because he put the instructions for the middle of the day (step 10) before he put in the instructions for the beginning and the end of the day in step 11. I think this is responsible for a lot of folks arguments about whether or not we ever have to do another 4th step after the first one. I think he assumes that since he taught us how to handle resentment fear etc. in the 4th step that we would automatically respond with the 4th step processes. After writing out thousands of resentments, and seeing what the process of understanding myself in the effects, and the lists of my own misbehaviors in the "turnarounds",as well as the power of the 4th step prayers, I have new reflexes, and a new way of living. Step 10 is the instruction to do steps 4-9 during the day on a daily basis. Many times in various publications, Bill refers to our or my current inventory. I think that with so many newcomers that some of the old time sayings about living the program have been lost. I rarely hear the advice I heard my sober uncle give when I was a child. "It's about taking your own inventory." "Excuse me, I think that's my inventory you are taking." "So and so got on my inventory by taking my inventory." My favorite is "OOOOOH! Am I inspired to take so and so's inventory!" This is it. This is what we do different. We take our own freakin' inventories.
Member: Randall L.
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Date: 4/20/00
Time: 12:26:25 AM
Although I have mastered the art of "continuing to take personal inventory," I have great difficulty in "promptly" admitting my wrongs.
Alcohol has cripled many generations within my family. As such, tens of "family" members have lost the importance of this step, which should be followed in everyday life, by everyone, alcoholic or not. I want to break my family cycle, thus honor each word within this step carefully.
I ask that God, The Creator Of All That Is, please grant me the strength and wisdom to continue my personal inventory; admit my wrongs; and make ammends, to all involved.
Thanks for listening:)
Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 4/20/00
Time: 2:34:58 AM
Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome to the newcomers! Thanks everyone for sharing!
I take personal inventory on a daily basis, typically every night before bedtime. I automatically address 4 character defects--selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear, with an additional spot for apologies due. I also do spot check inventories, usually in response to emotion-filled reactions I have had to various problem situations I might have become involved in during the course of my day.
I still dont't always promptly admit my wrongs, often because things that might merit an admittance of wrongdoing are not always so black and white to me. However, I eventually try to make apologies promptly once I have sorted everything out, which comes as a result of inventory-taking.
Member: Kim S.
Location: Michigan
Date: 4/20/00
Time: 10:13:33 AM
Step 10....great topic this week. I am an alcoholis named Kim. I heard on a "Joe & Charlie BB study tape" that Step 10 is doing 4-9 on a daily basis. I like that because it keeps me in check whenever necessary. I, too, don't want resentments, fears, & sex conduct to build up requiring another fourth step. The first one was hard enough and if I work Step 10 constantly, I won't have to.
In this area, 10, 11, & 12 are (most often) referred to as the growth steps.....I maintain sobriety, but grow as a "responsible, productive member of society", just as the BB promises. This is how it is for me. Thanx for letting me share.
Member: jen c
Location: hamden, ct
Date: 4/20/00
Time: 9:52:52 PM
step ten is an everyday thing in order to stay in the now, focused, happy, joyus and free it is also sometimes the hardest, who wants to look at your self, and admit you are wrong, not me, but in order to stay sober its just something we alcoholics do. hey we never had it so good thanks for letting me share, peace
Member: DRY IN THE DESERT
Location: NEVADA
Date: 4/21/00
Time: 8:22:43 AM
Good Morning Everyone, my name is Walter and I am an alcoholic...
Wonderful meeting !!!! Step Ten as others have mentioned give us an insite on our lack of humility....it was impossible to say "I was wrong and I am sorry". And through the steps I am now able to do that !!! What a wonderful relief to be able to unload guilt and not have to defend wrongdoing...
But about that "promptly" stuff.....guess that is what all the "continued" is about...
Thanks for being here for me....
Member: MaryJ
Location: Seattle
Date: 4/21/00
Time: 7:18:49 PM
Hi,
I'm Mary and an alcoholic.
Step 10 is one that is very important to me. This is the step that keeps me focused on my recovery. I need to stand back and look at what is happening to me and when something is not as it should be, make the changes and corrections I need to.
I always used to do this on January 1st, but since I have been in the program, I do it more often. I don't have a set schedule for step 10, but every once in a while life in general gives me a kick in the pants so that it is very apparent that it is time for me to make a personal inventory.
Promply admitting I was wrong is something I do try to practice if I am in a situration that I know right away that I was in the wrong. It saves time in the long run.
Have a safe and sober weekend to all of you
Member: Debbie M
Location: New Zealand
Date: 4/21/00
Time: 11:51:26 PM
My name is Debbie and I am an alcoholic. Good sharing on this step, thanks everyone, especially Harry from UK. It is very easy to mistake an aplogy for making amends - I was a professional apologiser, even keeping a drawer full of "I'm sorry" cards to send to people! Admitting I am wrong and making amends is altogether different I discovered.
Member: Sue E.
Location: Michigan
Date: 4/23/00
Time: 2:04:49 PM
Hi my name is Sue and I am an alcoholic Step 10 is the one step that I have been able to practice on a daily basis. It took me years however to get to that point. When I sobered up the first few times I could not understand exactly what step 10, or any other step for that matter was trying to tell me. When I hit my bottom this time it hit me that step 10 gives me permission not to be "perfect". What a relief not to always have to be right. It is so much simpler today to just say I am wrong and move on. In my using I could not be wrong it was not allowed and in my sobriety being wrong is ok and teaches me how to live and be humble because humility is the one way to peace and serenity. Thank God for step 10 It is the step that tells me that its ok to be human and to stop expecting perfection from myself and others. It certainly makes life easier to say the 10th step prayer :Thy will be done and then go thru these 24 hours doing his will then being wrong does not happen to often, but when it does what a relief to be able to say I am wrong and ask HIM for forgivenss. Well I guess thats enough rattling. Don't Drink and go to meetings and this program will evolve in our lives in spite of ourselves.
Member: Doug
Location: Calgary
Date: 4/23/00
Time: 2:29:35 PM
Step 10 to me is an insurance policy guaranteed to keep the weight off. If I promptly admit mistakes and try to keep them from recurring, I am communicating with my Higher Power and submitting to it's will instead of my own - serenity results.
Member: jay m
Location: atlanta
Date: 4/23/00
Time: 4:56:51 PM
hello family my name is Jay iam an addict . that sums it up . i get addicted to anything that takes me out of reality .there something about liveing life on lifes trems that just scares me . thats what brings me here i dont even no the topic iam just new at this and thought i would say hey . thanks for leting me share