Member: Sarah
Location: NW USA
Date: 4/14/2002
Time: 12:43:18 PM


"Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs."

SHARING with God SHARING with ourselves SHARING with other human beings

That was the exact nature of the wrongs. Me and my EGO(Edging God Out) had trouble SHARING.

p. 62 in the 12 x 12 "This feeling of being at one with God and man, this emerging from isolation throug the open and honest sharing of our terrible burden of guilt, brings us to a resting place where we may prepare ourselves for the followiing Steps toward a full and meaningful soberiety."

"Healing Power" this SHARING "Healing Solutions" this SHARING


Member: Bill F.
Location: Lost Angeles
Date: 4/14/2002
Time: 1:01:41 PM


Two thirds of the fifth step was easy - My higher power already knew everything. Other humans who counted in my life knew almost everything. Admitting to myself, by doing a thorough fourth step, was very, very difficult. It took a couple of years and some outside help with a therapist to admit to myself everything I had done that I was ashamed of, - more was revealed constantly as time went on. I wasn't nearly as bad, or as good, as I thought I was.

Member: Jenn P.
Location: Poconos, PA
Date: 4/14/2002
Time: 6:08:52 PM


The fifth step was the scariest for me, because I knew I was going to let someone in on the real me. I had tried to side step getting a sponsor, and did the fourth with the help of a workshop, and some guidance of other people in the fellowship. Then I did a fifth step with my counselor. She was not in the program, and I somehow got the idea that I needed to get someone in the program to help me with it. So I finally asked a woman to be my sponsor, and made an appointment to do my fifth with her. I was scared, but I did it, and it is true that it was the beginning of the end of my loneliness. Today there is nothing I can't tell my sponsor, and that's a good feeling. Now evertime I let someone else besides me and God in on what's going on with me, I get great advice, answers, and support. I still have to remind myself to open up and share with others, but it goes so much better when I do. Thanks for letting me share. Have a great 24!

Member: Adam H.
Location: Nagano, JAPAN
Date: 4/14/2002
Time: 7:57:05 PM


Adam, alcoholic.

Any of you heard that phrase "We are as sick as our secrets.."? I think that's why this step was so important for me. One of the reasons I liked drinking so much was because when I drank, I could talk to anybody and tell them whatever _I_ thought they should know about me. Most of it was lies anyway, and the reason I lied was because I was terrified that I would be rejected if I told the truth. And I really believed that I had no choice but to lie if I wanted to get by in this world. Accordingly I felt absolutely unworthy all the time...and drank to deal with that pain. No wonder I felt so ashamed of myself all the time when I was drinking...I lived a bunch of lies every day and was in constant fear of being found out.

That's why this step was so important to my recovery. If I wanted to stop having that feeling of unworthiness that came from living dishonestly every day, I was going to have to tell the truth to someone, cost what it may. I guess it's a good thing that by the time I got to Alcoholics Anonymous, I was in so much pain that I was willing to do whatever it took, no matter how scary it was for me.

What did I get from doing that 5th Step? Freedom from living the lie every day. Finally, I had told the truth to someone and to myself and as a result there was one person (my sponsor) taht I could hold my head up to and talk frankly about myself to. My sponsor assured me taht if I told the truth and stood by it no matter what--particularly when I was doing Steps 6-9, that I would never have to live with that feeling of unworthiness again, that I would be able to walk among my fellows feeling like I belonged in my own skin.

Sure enough this has come to pass. Grateful for this step and for another day of sobriety.

Member: Lessa E
Location: Chicago
Date: 4/14/2002
Time: 8:22:20 PM


Lessa here, grateful recovering alcoholic. Like Jenn, I did my fifth step with my treatment counselor first. I was working with a sponsor - but with one who had not worked the steps herself and told me I could wait on this one for a couple of years. I knew I couldn't and worked with my counselor, closely, as I was doing the fourth step. (And was working on finding a new sponsor!)

Anyway, my fifth step did not so much reveal anything new - I had talked about almost everything in it at separate meetings - but it was the first time that one person had heard everything at one time. And I had no sense of relief when it was done. For me, it was more the act of actually doing it and working the steps - being willing to go to any lengths - that was important.

I'm happy to say that I did find a sponsor who worked and continues to work the steps diligently. Who has a strong faith walk and can help guide me spiritually. And with whom I repeated this fifth step about a month and a half later.

I'm very grateful for the program and for another sober 24 hours.

Member: tay, tay, tay,
Location: die, die, die,
Date: 4/15/2002
Time: 5:08:34 PM


A tame stopped talking to every page of die and told us he couldn't page every hour of our pine, tine, tine, and every day we stage a moment of how stopped we are and I can't page any closer pine, tine, tine, than we have at pine, dine, dine...

Member: Bobbie H
Date: 4/15/2002
Time: 7:32:57 PM


I finally realized, after it was to late, just how bad my drug problem was. While I was in jail I realized how bad I had messed my whole life up. Not to mention how bad everything effected my children. After I got out of jail I started going to church. But I did admit to myself first.

Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 4/15/2002
Time: 9:47:43 PM


Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Thanks for the sincere shares. Welcome newcomers!

Doing Step 5 was frightening for me too, sharing myself, both good and bad, with another human being face to face. I did it with my sponsor, and it turned out to be anticlimatic.

The terrific beating I took at the hands of alcohol was still fresh in my memory, so I was willing to do anything. Aslo, my 4th Step prepared me well for this type of sharing with a trusted sponsor.

Member: Jack B
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Date: 4/16/2002
Time: 2:32:56 AM


Hi, I am Jack, a real alcoholic. In step four I revealed myself to myself, and accepted me for who I am, who I was, and who I can be. Step 5 is our second act of faith, it requires us to place our faith in another human being. Step 5, I reveal myself to another human being, and for me, once I did this, I no longer had to be the master of the mask. Four and Five to stay alive, I truly believe this. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless.

Member: Joe P
Location: Chicago
Date: 4/16/2002
Time: 8:01:55 AM


My name is Joe, I'm an alcoholic. Step 5 -Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Another step for which I am grateful for my sponsors guidance. I was told it is a three part step - admit to God, myself, and to another human being. Before my appointment with another human being, my sponsor had me go through my 4th step inventory and admit each wrong attitudew and behavior to God and myself.

I was frightened to talk with another person. "Hit the big stuff first" I was told. Again, doing as I was told made it easier. "Only way to screw it up is to intentionally leave something out", my sponsor said. So I talked about everything I could think of at the time.

For me, 4th step was like examining a large number of trees, and my fifth step was like seeing a forrest. I began to see the patterns of selfishness in my life. Today I know that I needed to do steps 4 and 5 to stay sober and to have contented sobriety. Thanks for all your comments.

Member: gary b
Location: penna.
Date: 4/17/2002
Time: 4:44:48 PM


step 5is letting go absolutely. an act of faith in a.a. and a higher power. a step that helps liberate me from my addictive self.step 4 shows me a way to balance,humility,and acceptance. step 5 is taking that step towards that new life. i'll keep coming back

Member: shay, shay, shay,
Location: ta, ta, ta,
Date: 4/17/2002
Time: 4:57:58 PM


A tame, tame, tame, and a why, why, why, stayed away and a pie, pie, pie, pie, caught a no, no, and day, day, day, caught a wow, and why, why, why, caught a wow, and day, day, day, caught a day and day, day, day, caught a now...

Member: etc
Location: etc
Date: 4/17/2002
Time: 5:01:21 PM


shape a day...

Member: Robin Ward
Location: Georgetown, SC
Date: 4/17/2002
Time: 9:17:03 PM


This Fifth Step was really the EGO DEFLADER! I remember my first attempt...Believing in my very soul that I was Different, worse than all the other humans on the face of the earth! This where a Good Sponsor, who has a sponsor...who has worked the steps and follows the formula in the Book is indespensible! She would say Robin calm down, it just your ego working in reverse. Knowing that I grew up a in "christian" Religion...even though I could not grasp the simple concepts in that language, she suggested that I search the "Bible" and find just one "sin" that I had committed that had not already been committed, Forgiven and Written about...and what's more, By supposedly Holy Men & Women, God's Chosen!...recorded in A Holy Book! What a RUDE Awakening, My uniqueness, my ego and self-centered pride took a terrible beating here. "thank God & AA" As I continued through the 12x12 it seems no stone gets left unturned...this is just what I needed to break that old Alcoholic isolation and begin to feel like a part of the human race again, or for the first time...Talking about being amazed before we are half way through! It all comes full circle though... when I recieved my first 5th Step! Holy God what is half way!!! Only then could I began to understand a bit of what forgiveness means...unconditional Love, mercy and kindness.Just beginning to scratch the surface of The Masters qualities--

The Beauty of it all is How Only God can take the very worse things in our life and turn them out the be something good. If that is not Forgiveness...I debt paid in Full, what is?

"in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possesion you have-the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and Misery for them." BB 124

"we will not regret the past, nor wish to shut the door on it." BB 84 "fear of people...will leave us." BB 84 " matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others." BB 84

With you always in the Fellowship of the Spirit. Robin Ward

Member: Debi-jo
Location: Maryland
Date: 4/18/2002
Time: 1:25:19 AM



This is one step I'm totally afraid of. I'm either stalling or just not ready yet. I will be celebrating my "FIRST SOBER YEAR" in a couple of weeks. I have only been to step 3. I have read the others, but thats as far as I've gone. After reading some of these posts, I'm thinking maybe I should get started. I think I need to free my mind of all this clutter. I'm now going through some medical problems (women stuff) and its all I can do sometimes just to wake up in the morning. I have changed home groups since I first started in AA. So maybe I'm just making excuses but I haven't found that right person to chat to. My sponsor has already suggested for me to trade her in. I really never called her much so she figures I need to get a new sponsor of which I see every week. This puts me back to the beginning stages. I need to at least sort of kind of know the person a little bit. OR is that just an excuse. I guess everyting comes in time. Sorry for rambling. Have a great sober day ~~Debi~~

Member: Gabrielle P
Location: Arlington, TX
Date: 4/18/2002
Time: 2:56:59 PM


Gabrielle, grateful recovering alcoholic. I have to remember back to when I did this step the first time. I had to do it more than once because the first time through the steps, I did not have the benefit of a sponsor. True God already knew, but for me the freedom in speaking it aloud to Him was well wroth it. i had to tell Him, acknowledge to God that I accept the wrongs I had done. I shared this and my story with a stranger, a mninster but still a human being I didn't know, even the obscure that I couldn't remmeber names of people I had hurt but simply how I had injusred them. Then of course myself, I had to tell myself that I did worng and why it was wrong and accept it. Own the debt so to speak. The freedom from self came from doing this and the healing began. I am grateful for the opportunity to do this daily through a 10th step. In sobriety, In A.A., In Life! Gabrielle

Member: Bernie S.
Location: Woodside Group
Date: 4/19/2002
Time: 1:30:00 AM


Hello. My name is Bernie. I am an alcoholic. It's late and did not have time to read so I scrolled down and will read later, so if I say something that's already been said, that's why. Step 5. Used to think it was a list of dirty filthy nasty things I did when I was drinking. But it doesn't say I admitted what I did wrong, it says the exact nature of my wrongs. My character defects. I figured out what they were when I took inventory. Once I learned what they were, I got an opportunity to be honest, first with God, then with myself, and finally, with another human being. It was where I came out of that terrible isolation. My sponsor told me this was a step that would decide whether or not I drank again. He said if I took this step he couldn't guarantee that I wouldn't drink, but he could guarantee that if I skipped this step, I would surely drink again. Well, I'm here to report that I did take it and that i haven't had a drink since.

Member: ChuckM
Location: Alberta
Date: 4/19/2002
Time: 2:34:05 AM


I'm Chuck, an alcoholic

Step 5. I did this with another AA member.

I had no more secrets and I was not rejected. For the first time in my life I could accept who I am. What a relief.

I now realize that I was as sick as my secrets. I could not accept your acceptance because you didn't really know me. If you really knew me you wouldn't accept me. This isolated me from everyone. Thank God for AA.

Peace and Serenity

Member: Bill H.
Location: Orland Park, IL
Date: 4/19/2002
Time: 3:12:40 PM


My name is Bill and I'm an alcoholic, sober today through God's grace and the fellowship I find in AA. Steps 4 & 5, taken in my early sobriety the first time I did them, were the first attempts at honesty I'd ventured in my 31 years of life at that time. I felt so pumped at having done my best that I could have floated home from my sponsors house after my first 5th step. To those fearful of this step it is nothing more than the bogeyman. Do we really believe we don't live daily with what we've done if we don't face it? This begins the emotional cleansing necessary for long term sobriety. I still take an annual 4th step followed by swapping a 5th step with a friend from the program. I am always prepared to swap a fifth step with a sponsee, a friend in the program, and certainly anyone who wants to take the 5th step for the first time. My original sponsor (for 19 years before he passed away) was willing to swap his 5th step with me when I was new and scared if I agreed to always be willing to do the same for another AA. Follow the old Nike commercial advice, "Just do it".

Member: Kelista P
Location: Northern Ca
Date: 4/19/2002
Time: 6:56:22 PM


I'm Kelista a recovering alcoholic who is new to this group.

The 4th step was really scary for me, which made the 5th easier. It somehow seemed harder to face myself than someone else. Maybe because I blocked so much out, lied to myself... willingly. I was amazed when I began to discover all my hidden scary secrets. As one incident would unfold more would come to light. By the end of my 4th step I was ready to tackle the 5th. I was so beaten that I would have done almost anything to "get" sobriety.

I also trusted my sponsor, so it made it easier. Her calm demeanor made for an anticlimactic experience and I walked away feeling like a ton of bricks were lifted off my shoulders. I somehow felt clean and new and how strange is that, as I had just told someone all of my horrible secrets?

Thanks for letting me share. Iām grateful youāre all here and that I didnāt drink today.

Member: AnilG
Location: Mt Vernon,IL
Date: 4/20/2002
Time: 9:29:36 AM


Fifth step was easy - My higher power already knew everything. Other people who counted in my life knew almost everything. Admitting to myself, by doing a thorough fourth step, was very, very difficult. It took a couple of years and some outside help from AA and Al Anon members to admit to myself everything I had done that I was ashamed of, - more was revealed constantly as time went on. I wasn't nearly as bad, or as good, as I thought I was.

Member: Scotty D
Location: Eastern Washington
Date: 4/20/2002
Time: 10:31:36 AM


This time back from the rollercoaster. i have found a great sponsor, and did a honest 4th and 5th step.I think i really want it this time,because i can see all the bull shit i have created around me clearly, after doing my 5th step Honestly with my sponsor.Any way this was a big step for this drunk,and i am working on number 8. Thanks for all the great Shares.

Member: Lisa W
Location: Lehigh Acres, F.
Date: 4/20/2002
Time: 8:50:02 PM


I was in such denial that I really did'nt even no myself or who I was and what I was doing, Now I have shared with my family and friends who I really am. The most horriable thing was that they knew and I was the only one that thought that I could contiune with my behavior and honestly think that no one knew ....They knew and deep down so did I. I have just revealed my true self to me and to others. and I really thank GOD that I am still here today and I getting to know me.

Member: Rich R
Location: Detroit
Date: 4/21/2002
Time: 7:06:39 AM


Rich R, alcoholic. I did step 5 with my sponsor in the back booth of a restaurant one evening after we ate dinner (to settle my nerves). I went over my 4th step with him in detail and I felt relieved when we left that restaurant (about 2 hours later). That was 10 years ago.

I am now coming to realize that the 5th step is really a lot simpler than that. It could have taken about 10 minutes. All I needed to do was tell Andy what my character defects were. That's the 'bottom line' of step 5 for me and that's why step 5 comes before step 6. I have to become honest about which character defects I have before I can become entirely ready to have them be removed. Thanks for letting me share.