Member: neal m
Location: Malaysia
Date: 14 Mar 1999
Time: 15:01:58
ha ha ha--i have to laugh because i just came from the discussion meeting and there already have been plenty of posts. nothing like a 4th step meeting to scare 'em off. for the first few 24s that i was sober (actually it was a lot more than a few) i would actually up and leave if i realized i was in a 4th step meeting. some are sicker than others ha ha. when i did my first 4th step i overdid it--took too much advice from too many different sources. My advice is to do it like it tells in Chapter 5 of the BB period. 'nuff said.
Member: neal m
Location:
Date: 14 Mar 1999
Time: 15:04:06
PS--God bless Charlie P and Joe Mc--sorry for the double post.
Member: nick.s/5-15-84
Location: oceancityn.j.
Date: 14 Mar 1999
Time: 15:04:55
I'MANALCOHOLICNAMEDNICKS.ihavebennaroundawhileandknowenough
aboutstep4tosharemyexperience,strengthandhope.backin'84wheniwasnewinAAia
skedmysposorhowtodoa4thstep.hesaid
tomesomethingyou'llbedoingfortherestofyourlifeifyouwanttostaysober.ididn'tknow
whathewastalkingab
outthenbutovertheyearsoflivingsoberidonow.moreisbeingrevealedonedayatatimeasmy
memorygetsorshould
isaymymindgetmoreclearofmydefectsofcharacter.ihavebeenastepamonthfollowerform
anyyearsandit'saway
tostayontheAAbeam.thetraditionofgroupautonomyisveryimportantandifanothergroup
isaffectingAAbyit'swrong
actionsthistraditionistheonetolookat. ilikethesteobookreadingaboutthistradition
especiallythepartwherethebigshot[therearenobigshotsinAA]inthe
pioneeringtimesofAAcameupwiththe61rulesandregulationsandthemembershada
businessmeetingandput
RULE#62DON'TTAKEYOURSELFTODAMNEDSERIOUSLYtobringthe
bigshotdowntohisrightsize.
ONESHOTANDWHEAREALLSHOT! thatallihavefornow.i'llkeepcomingback.
Member: Lannie
Location:
Date: 14 Mar 1999
Time: 16:11:04
Nick, Are you drunk. It is impossible to read you message when you do not leave space between words.
Member: brady t
brady t
Location: memphis, tn
Date: 14 Mar 1999
Time: 16:13:26
after more than a year on this journey, i have yet to touch the 4th step.
I hope to dive in soon, but its pretty scary. any suggestions would be appreciated.
Member: Tom A.
Location: Carlisle, AR
Date: 14 Mar 1999
Time: 16:46:32
Hello Group!
Tom A here and I am an alcoholic who is sober by the grace of God and this great fellowship known as Alcoholic's Anonymous. I have done only one 4th Step since my entrance into AA on July 25, 1960 and my sponsors told me to Easy Does It and emphasized it was a "fearless and searching MORAL inventory." I'm glad the did this. I agree that the format found in the Big Book is sufficient! I wrote it out like suggested and carried it around for a year or so waiting for that "right person" to take Step 5 with and it happened. I was on my way for a tour of duty in the Phillipines and like they told me "when the student was ready the teacher would appear." I shared that moral inventory with a Navy Chaplain on the USNS Barrett and discovered something that I too was a human being and nothing more. I threw that inventory into the Pacific Ocean and my past became that asset the book talks about. I really discovered that day that "God Don't Make No Junk!" I can also assure you that this Step will rid you of that compulsion to drink, at least it has done that for me as long as a remember it is One-Day-At-A-Time.
Thanks for letting me post!
God Bless - Tom A. ate@gte.net
Member: Kim D
Location:
Date: 14 Mar 1999
Time: 17:56:36
Hi ya'll I'm Kim D and I'm an alcoholic.
4th Step - I would sit in meetings and stare at the words... "made a searching and fearless moral inventory" with total fear. There was so much stuff I had done in the past that I could not even allow myself to think about for more than a minute. I was mortified at the notion of writing it all down. But I was a dying woman and willing to do ANYTHING. So when the time came at about 14months sober, I prayed very hard for two weeks for the willingness and strength to go thru with it. And so I did. I did it in about 2 1/2 days then soon after did the 5th with my sponsor. The relief was AMAZING. I have since that time seen some folks struggle with this step over long periods of time because of fear. It's so strange that doing the 4th step for me relieved so much fear. The light bulb really went on for me about facing my fears.
Thanks for letting me share my thoughts.
Kim D
Member: Tony G.
Location: Paterson N. J.
Date: 14 Mar 1999
Time: 18:04:24
Hi gang, my names Tony and I'm an alcoholic. My sponsor has me now working on a fourth step. I haven't begun it yet though because I'm SCARED!! I'm afraid to look into my past. I'm afraid to see where I was at fault. I'm afraid I will not find any good in me. I know there is good in me but I still don't see it. Well I am just going to pray for the courage and strength to write it. Until Friday, Tony G.
Member: jack c wanderers 3
Location: Friendship Wi
Date: 14 Mar 1999
Time: 18:20:30
Hello, I'm jack c and am an alcoholic. A lot of tough words for a new member who is now propelled into step 4, from doing 1-2-3 as best as one can do in the early stages ofworking the program. The words are: SEARCHING-- FEARLESS--INVENTORY . Wow ! We gave up any search if it became tough. Being full of fear most times, we now had to be fearless. And who likes the word, INVENTORY. Nobody, that I know of. Step 4 is the begining of a lifetime practice. We must begin, little by little, to discover ourselves, the liabilities and assets, Yes we do have some good points left. This is the step where you meet the real and honest you, and become free of all the hidden torture that we punished ourselves with for so long a time. Begin, even if only we fear to do it, admit the fear and move on, feeble at first, then stronger as we go. Ask sincerely for GOD's help, every step of the way, each day. Read the BB and the 12/12 to help make it easier. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Tiffany M.
Location:
Date: 14 Mar 1999
Time: 20:35:23
Hi, I'm Tiffany alkie/addict. The fourth step was scary for me to. I had to just give in and do it. I realized that my life depended on it. I knew that if I didn't do it I would drink again and slowly die an alcoholic death. After doing it, I felt stupid because it wasn't as bad as I made it up to be. God's speed.
Member: nick s.5-15-84
Location: o.c.n.j.
Date: 14 Mar 1999
Time: 21:48:08
i am a sober recovering alcoholic named nick s. and this is my answer to lannie who responded to my message i left earlier in reference to the 4th step. no i am not drunk lanni and have been sober for 14years and 10months tomorrow as a matter of fact. it was first time making any comments on Staying Cyber. i've taken my inventory many times. when was the last time you took yours? thanks for helping me and telling me to use my space bar, though. the 4th step and the 4th tradition are what the comments are for by the way.
Member: FRANK Q
Location: MORTLAKE AUSTRALIA
Date: 15 Mar 1999
Time: 04:09:39
LETS ALL REMEMBER ITS A MORAL INVENTORY AND NOT AN IMMORAL INVENTORY .WE HAVE TO PUT DOWN SOME GOOD STUFF AS WELL AS WELL THE CROOK STUFF .THERE SHOULD BE A BALANCE THERE SOMEWHERE .
Member: MIKE A.
Location: RING OF FIRE
Date: 15 Mar 1999
Time: 05:27:24
ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT, ONLY GOD KNOWS THE FEAR WE ARE SUFFERING WHILE TAKING EVERY BOTTLE INTO OUR GUT! ONCE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH AND IT COULD ALREADY MAKE US A FEWER STEPS TO DEATH. REFUSE ALCOHOL AND SAY YOUR PRAYERS! GODDLUCK NICK, TOM AND TO ALL YOU GUYS!
Member: richard m
Location: sarasota
Date: 15 Mar 1999
Time: 07:38:29
helo my name is richard , i am an alcoholic. when i did my fourth step (i have only ever done the one )i wrote it down and then shared it with some one else!!!!! i was also living in a group of about 130 men!!!!! i have been clean since 12/28/85.....however , i procrastenated and waited about three years before i did it!!!!!!some have waited longer!!!!! since then , i do a daily tenth step and try to do he next right thing!!!!!!!! lol
Member: Larry M.
Location: Virginia Beach
Date: 15 Mar 1999
Time: 09:26:23
Larry, alcoholic
My 4th Step inventory wasn't fearless at all; It was very unpleasant. I don't particularly care for the word "fearless" in this step; I much prefer "courageous", i.e. doing the right thing despite the fear. Unfortunately, I wasn't around when Bill W. & Co. wrote the BB, so they had to muddle through it without the benefit of my input. 8>) The courage came to me through a combination of pain and faith. The pain was all the resentment, guilt, shame, etc. that were making my life unbearable. The faith came through my 3rd Step where I made a decision to keep doing the next right thing. According to the BB, the next right thing after the 3rd Step is to do the 4th Step "at once". I did my 4th Step the BB way, but added a brief autobiography in outline format. The BB format was the most helpful, but I found that by writing out my life story I remembered some things I had omitted on my lists and also noticed some patterns in my behavior. For example, I noticed that my heaviest blackout drinking would occur when I was intimidated by new situations: new schools, new jobs, new locations. This helped me to realize how fearful I actually was, especially of people. The outline also helped me to tell my story when it came time to do my 5th Step. Some of the stuff I had to write about was painful to even admit to myself, much less write down. I had buried lots of painful memories. I found that by writing about myself in the 3rd person, as though I was describing someone else's life, it was easier to do. I also made it a point to not project onto my 5th Step. I wrote it down as though it was totally private, something that no one would ever see. It took me a couple of months to finish it, although there was actually only a good day or two worth of writing. I'd write in spurts, put it down for a week or so, write a bunch more, and so on until I was done.
While writing out my resentment list, I was able to start forgiving others for hurting me, or at least start letting go of my resentments towards them. I also put myself on my resentment list because of all the times I had let myself down. In fact, much of the harm I had done to myself and others were more sins of omission than commission. I had always thought I was a good person because I meant well. But my good intentions often failed to result in positive actions. It was a bit of a shock to realize that my good intentions towards others, as well as the grand ambitions I'd had for myself, were mostly illusions. It was during my 4th Step that I realized that what I think, feel, or say doesn't matter very much. It's what I do that counts. Many of my amends, especially to family members, involve doing all those things I never got around to doing, often simple things such as calling my mother and helping my kids with their homework. I also learned to treat myself better, get more realistic about my goals in life, and then ACT on them one day at a time.
Peace & Serenity
Member: Dick F.
Location: Northeast PA.
Date: 15 Mar 1999
Time: 09:43:55
The best times of my life was when I was doing the 12 steps. For "ME" I had to do the series over and over again. I joined Groops that did One step each week and then went on to the NEXT. Each time I ganed a little more streingth from the 2nd and 3rd steps to allow me to look deeper inside myself in the 4th. Then right away I had to share this in the 5th, with my sponsor's. Then I used what I found I wanted to change about myself from the 4th in the 6th and 7th step. Again those years were the best in my life of over 25 years of soberity. I need to do them again now.
Member: Aaron P.
Location: Atlanta, Georgia
Date: 15 Mar 1999
Time: 12:35:39
Hey family, my names Aaron and I'm an alcoholic.
4th Step-My higher power must work in msterious ways. I was talking to my sponsor about 2 days ago and we decided that it would be a good idea if I started getting ready to do the 4th step. I am EXTREMELY scared. I don't really know how to make a searching and fearless (and that extra word my sponsor puts in---Honest) inventory of myself. And then I start getting out of today and thinking, "Oh no, when I do this step I get closer to step 5 or 9!!!" I know I need this but that pen and paper scares the crap out of me. I'm going to do my best though. Thanks.
Member: Destine' W.
Location: Houston
Date: 15 Mar 1999
Time: 12:50:24
My name is Destine' & I'm an alcoholic. My first 4th step has only scratched the surface for me. After almost five years in the program, God is revealing a lot of truths to me. Today, step 10 is a necessary in my life as well. Continuing on this fearless journey of self & becoming more & more dependant on that Power greater than myself ... ah! What a concept. No wonder I drank!!!
Thank God for AA.
Love to all of ya'll.
Member: Rich B.
Location: Phila.Pa.
Date: 15 Mar 1999
Time: 12:53:40
Nick, Good luck. Your on the right path. Iwas fortunate to attend a seminar by two old timers Joe and Charlie who travel the country explaining the steps as outlined in BIG BOOK.It realy helped. Istill have the outline if you or anyone else is interested. Rich B.Email RBurns 9689@AOL.com
Member: Chuck K.
Location: Texas
Date: 15 Mar 1999
Time: 20:45:08
Hi, my name's Chuck and I'm an alcoholic; been sober all day by God's Grace.
I'd like to tell you that my inherent desire to work the program of recovery drove me fearlessly into a moral inventory as called for in step 4. But then this is an honest program. I only did my fourth step when the pain of living without alcohol was sufficient to drive me to it. The flash of relief I felt at step 3 did not last forever, and I now believe that working the remaining steps is how we truly "turn our will and lives over to the care of God as we understand Him."
I was also fortunate enough to have a sponsor who taught me how from the Big Book (and a Joe and Charlie tape).
I guarded my written inventory like it was an ax-murderer waiting to pounce on anyone who saw it, scared to death that someone would see it and see all those things that would tell him or her how terrible I was.
Then that fateful day came, and I went to my sponsor to share it as directed in step 5. Afterward, the paper which held all my 4th step inventory was left unattended on his coffee table. I drove home. He found it and saved it for me, giving it to me at the next meeting we attended together--several days later. That was many years ago, and he still loves to tell it on me. We have both entertained newcomers, and hopefully allayed some of their fears by my experience with this step.
Like Tom A. just related, this program works as written. And I don't think my experience(almost 15 years sobriety) is either special or unique. I only believe it to be a Gift from God attainable through the 12 steps.
God Bless all here. Love from Texas, Chuck.
Member: Dale C.
Location:
Date: 15 Mar 1999
Time: 22:00:21
Hi! I'm Dale. And I'm an alcoholic & dope fiend. It seems to me that a retreat master said it best.That in the 3rd step we made a decision to turn our will over . The most effective and spiritual way is to do ALL the remaining steps inspite of fear or get drunk again!(or maybe act a heck of alot like it.) I am new to this line,yet, I bring MY shovel when I talk to my H.P. And it's worked for 3,114 "24's". Good Luck! It's a Spitual Enama....
Member: Dale C.
Location: Deland , Fla.
Date: 15 Mar 1999
Time: 22:00:28
Hi! I'm Dale. And I'm an alcoholic & dope fiend. It seems to me that a retreat master said it best.That in the 3rd step we made a decision to turn our will over . The most effective and spiritual way is to do ALL the remaining steps inspite of fear or get drunk again!(or maybe act a heck of alot like it.) I am new to this line,yet, I bring MY shovel when I talk to my H.P. And it's worked for 3,114 "24's". Good Luck! It's a Spitual Enama....
Member: Tom R
Location: New Jersey
Date: 15 Mar 1999
Time: 23:19:13
I am starting my fourth, thank you all for your imput on it, it helps a newbie like me to hear it works and gives me the courage to keep going.
Member: Maureen F.
Location: Illinois
Date: 16 Mar 1999
Time: 00:23:29
Hi I'm Maureen F. Il., I don't care for the word fearless either Larry. However, I don't think it means without feelings. It does take courage to look at our pasts and to write down an inventory of our moral lives. I also agree that a balance is necessary. Think about the 4th step as cleaning house. Sometimes the job seems almost impossible but when you start to pick up the mess and throw out the trash suddenly the house gets cleaned one dirty mess at a time. The same with our 4th step as we begin to clean our house we will feel overwhelmed but as we write down each "dirty" mess and each memorable accomplishment it will get easier and easier and we will be smiling and feeling good about how orderly and clean our house has become. Don't be afraid of a 4th step it is our way of letting our Higher Power know we are willing and wanting His help in our lives. No matter how terrible we think we are someone out there has done it all before us.
Member: Ted M
Location: Corpus Christi Texas
Date: 16 Mar 1999
Time: 00:26:02
My names Ted I'm powerless over alcohol. Sober since 11/18/72.Have only done one 4th step.It was fearless in that it was something I had already lived through. It was also true that with a higher power to trust it was fearless. The 10th step is also fearless one day at a time. trust your power and the 4th will be fearless.
Member: John M.
Location: California
Date: 16 Mar 1999
Time: 08:37:55
Hello, my name is John and I'm an alcoholic. When I first came to AA 6 years ago I did'nt think I was too bad of an alcoholic so I took the program lightly and got drunk after a few months. When I returned to AA the next year I was desperate to stay sober and saw the steps as the primary method (along with meetings and service). I saw God and the spiritual life as the only way for me to stay sober and the steps are the path. I was nervous and excited about writing my 4th (joe and charlie tapes made it sound fun). I had started the journey of accurate self-analysis that is necesary for this alky to stay real with himself. When the fear of drinking became greater than any other fear (embarrasment is a big one for me), I was ready.
Member: Rich B.
Location: Phila. Pa.
Date: 16 Mar 1999
Time: 09:49:58
RICH Alcoholic,Addict, DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE I CAN FIND A COPY OF THE [JOE AND CHARLIE TAPES]. I SPONSOR TWO GUYS WHO WANT TO DO A FOURTH STEP. I HAVE THEIR OUTLINE[JOE &CHARLIES`S BUT NOT THE TAPES. THANKS RBurns9689
Member: Shannon L.
Location: Washington
Date: 16 Mar 1999
Time: 19:28:18
Hi My name is Shannon and I am a grateful recovering Alcholic. When I first got into the program of AA I got a sponsor who said this is how you do the fourth and give me a call if you have problems and I never called her back. I had a lot of problems with the fourth step, because I was very afraid. I stayed sober for 7 months and then I relapsed. I came back to the program, because my relapse nearly cost me my life and 5 innocent peoples lives. It is only by the grace of God that I did not kill myself or any of those people. So I came back to the program on fear, fear for my life and fear of taking away other peoples lives. I became willing to go to any lengths to stay sober. So I was lucky and I called the phone list they give you when you go to an AA meeting as a newcomer and found a lady who has more sobriety than I do who was willing to take me through all the steps. I tried to procrastinate on it, but my sponsor would'nt take any excuses. She told me to take just one person a day just like taking one day at a time and eventually it will get easier. One person a day wouldn't kill me. So I did one person a day and eventually it got easier. I finallly finished my fourth step with my sponsor and we burned it together. Thru this step I was able to figure out my character defects and my roles that I played in it, by doing this I am able to change my attitudes towards situations. I am no where to being perfect, but am working on it daily. I guess my message is be willing to go to any lengths to stay sober that means doing a honest fearless moral inventory. After this step, the rest will follow. Keep it simple. God bless!
Member: Betty M.
Location: Painter, VA (eastern shore)
Date: 16 Mar 1999
Time: 22:59:55
Betty, alcoholic for all of you who are having trouble with the 4th step. Something my sponsor told me early on All the steps are put here ONLY TO HELP US., never to hurt us or anyone. Also, told to me, by my sponsor. WE REMAIN AS SICK AS OUR SECERETS. LOL Betty
Member: Bill L
Location: North JERSEY
Date: 17 Mar 1999
Time: 07:18:23
THE fist step in the $th step is to pick up the pencil and start to write . When my sponser told me that ,I thought what a bit of wisdom to give to me . But guess what as in all things in A A he was correct Starting was the hard part.
Member: John M.
Location: CA
Date: 17 Mar 1999
Time: 12:06:17
Journey to Recovery (Charlie, Joe and Joe) ENCORE CASSETTES (800) 878-1308
Member: RichB.
Location: Pa.
Date: 17 Mar 1999
Time: 12:26:56
John M. Thanks so much for the info. Rich B.
Member: Peter H
Location: Dublin. Ireland
Date: 17 Mar 1999
Time: 17:09:01
Hi, my name is Peter, I'm an alcoholic. Happy St.Patrick's Day to everyone.The best news I heard from my sponsor when I approached step 4 was that I had come a long way in sobriety to this point. In order to take an inventory I needed so much courage,lots of help from my higher power and an understanding sponsor. I needed all these because the question posed in both the Big Book and the 12x12 are extremely difficult and in my case probably impossible even to look at. With the help of my higher power and my sponsor answer them I did and experienced the relief of coming out of hiding. One thing I must remember and that is what it says in the 12x12 on p51/52 "Since Step Four is but the beginning of a lifetimepractice........."
Member: Dianne
Location: Western, Washington
Date: 17 Mar 1999
Time: 18:40:16
Hello Everyone, This is my first time cybering in a meeting and my first time in A.A. I was very sick last night and very drunk for the umpteenth time...I am sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I am finally ready and willing to change. So please forgive me not commenting on the 4th step, as I need to start from the beginning. I have been going to C.O.D.A. meetings for the last year, it has helped with relationships, but I was unwilling to admit I am an alcoholic. WOW those are powerful words........and very Scary...I can still feel the sickness of last night, and yes oh Lord please help me to change, it is just the sober hours when I have to fianlly face the fears and sorrows of my life, and can no longer hide....I know 'One day at a time', I will try my best to do so, and promise myself to not pick up a drink,Thank you for listening, any comments to this scared new comer is very welcome.......God bless us all...
Member: Colette M.
Location: Portland, OR
Date: 17 Mar 1999
Time: 19:14:40
My name is Colette and I'm an alcoholic. My sponsor and I started my 4th step before I had 60 days (I had relapsed again after almost 6 mo's), we walked though 1,2,& 3 then, he patiently explained that I didn't have to believe that my life would change for the better by doing the steps, I only had to be willing. I also listened to the Joe & Charlie tapes, then he gave me the outline and he and I prayed, then I went home and worked harder emotionally than I ever have in my life.
When I finished the writing he and I got together right away, we went to a park with a creek running through it, we sat in a motor home for almost 7 hours while I "fearlessly" and Willingly shared my story. We prayed alot, then I went for a walk by the creek to be alone with God, when I came back, we prayed some more, and continued on with the 6th & 7th steps.
I think working the 5th,6th,and 7th steps together worked for me because I needed to have some sort of absolution. I'm here to tell you that I am NOT the same BROKEN WOMAN who walked back into A.A. after another relapse. After trying to stay sober for 11 years, never working the steps, and relapsing every 5-6 months, I haven't had a drink for 364 days and for that I am gratful.
"Faith is not about doing the right thing and knowing that things will be O.K., Real Faith is doing the right thing and NOT knowing that everything is going to be O.K. but doing it anyway."
JUST DO IT!
Member: Geri W
Location: Va
Date: 17 Mar 1999
Time: 19:17:33
Hello, Geri a very grateful alcoholic here. It is because of rooms like this and people like you that I remain sober today. Thank you.
My sponsor told me the neat thing about a 4th step was that I just had to write it - not live it over. It was just words. She recognized that what I was really afraid of was the 5th - telling someone else. Because God and I already knew. She was right(darn sponsors usually are). So she instructed me to follow the simple directions in the BB and not be concerned about the 5th - we'd get to that when the time was right. So I approached it that way - knowing that the God of my understanding already knew, He would help me to figure it out and give me the courage to do the next step. He didn't let me down and We did it.
So keep the faith - follow the directions - go to meetings, get a sponsor, trust God and don't drink. The good life will follow.
Hugs.
Member: Liz H
Location: Rhinelander, WI
Date: 17 Mar 1999
Time: 19:21:44
Hi. I'm Liz and I'm an alcoholic. I have done three 4th steps in the time I've been in this program. The first one was a treatment 4th which was a "Look What A Bad Person" I've been type 4th. After my 5th, I waited and waited for the spiritual experience I'd heard so much about. It never came. Then, four years later I did another 4th step. This one was by the book. Or at least, the first two columns of the book. Again, no spiritual experience. Finally, just this January, after over ten years sober, I did another 4th and 5th. This time I hand wrote it, by the book. All four columns. What a difference! After writing "selfish, self-centered, self-seeking, and dishonest" after each of 34 pages of resentments, I finally started to grasp why I'd been so unhappy!
Amazing, you mean I had a part in my misery? Darn!
Anyway, I finally know that God loves me, He forgives me, I have value to Him, and I am a good person.
Today, life is far better than my wildest dreams. Thank God for these steps to teach me how to live with myself!!!
Member: Sue G.
Location: Wa.
Date: 18 Mar 1999
Time: 00:13:20
Hi I'm Sue and I am an alcoholic.
Dianne welcome. One thing about AA, people reallly know how you feel because they all have been there. I remember saying I would do my best not to pick up a drink, but my best was not good enough. I made that promise daily for years. Forget about yourself and rely on a higher power of your choice to keep you from picking up the first drink. When you feel the worst and know tomorrow is good enought to quit continue relying on that power and don't take it back and once again rely on yourself. If you are willing to do that one day, then you know you can do it one day at a time.
You really don't have to do this alone, call the numbers the ladies at AA give you and constantly rely on your higher power. When you are alone you aren't alone when you have your higher power. If you drink, you've taken back control and not allowed the higher power to help. hey you may take things back a few times because this an entirely new idea, but don't give up. Sometimes you have to take things a second at a time to succeed.
Remember we love ya and will do anything to help you succeed in sobriety.
Love ya. Sue
Member: Schani L
Location: Reality (mostly)
Date: 18 Mar 1999
Time: 00:33:24
YEAH! Fourth Step! Great Step. Afore you all think me crazy (which of course I am) let me introduce myself...My name is Schani L. I'm an Alcoholic in Southern Cali, and drugs were a part of my alcoholism. Thanks to God and the principles of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, it hasn't been necessary for me to pick up a drink or a drug since since Dec. 30,1986. That would be every day including weekends and holidays. This is so totally kewl! I am glad to be here. Those folks who say real AA isn't online sure do have God in a box. Who says God can't work through computers! Didn't use to think the fourth step was great. Used to be terrified of it! But, I had one of those sponsers in the beginning...a big book thumpin woman who's sponser was an actual Friend of Bills. She didn't let me stay long in that fear. We did the steps according to the Big Book...she took very literally the instruction on page 64 right after the 3rd step decision...the one that says "at once followed by a strenous effort to face, and be rid of , the things in ourselves which had been blocking us." AT ONCE was the opperative word! lol. Strenous was pretty active too. See, I think not enough folks know what this step is all about. It is to "disclose (to find and see it) damaged or unnsalable goods, to get rid of them promptly and (this is so very important) WITHOUT REGRET." Wow! Find all that stuff that has been blocking my connection with my Higher Power, see it, get rid of it promptly and without regret! Is that not a joyous thing? The 4th step is a celebration...It is the guarentee of the freedom that is God's will for me. Now, there are three steps that come before it...give us what we need to do it. And there are 8 steps that come after it...those are the party steps. Learning to live life on Gods terms without all the clutter of my own garbage in my way to trip me up. Give it a try. But make sure ya got a sponser who knows where the steps are in the big book, and who has had the experience of working them. "we are sure that God's will for us is to be happy, joyous and free. We cannot subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears...." It's in yer Big Book. Good journey finding it!
Member: Schani L
Location: Reality (mostly)
Date: 18 Mar 1999
Time: 00:33:35
YEAH! Fourth Step! Great Step. Afore you all think me crazy (which of course I am) let me introduce myself...My name is Schani L. I'm an Alcoholic in Southern Cali, and drugs were a part of my alcoholism. Thanks to God and the principles of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, it hasn't been necessary for me to pick up a drink or a drug since since Dec. 30,1986. That would be every day including weekends and holidays. This is so totally kewl! I am glad to be here. Those folks who say real AA isn't online sure do have God in a box. Who says God can't work through computers! Didn't use to think the fourth step was great. Used to be terrified of it! But, I had one of those sponsers in the beginning...a big book thumpin woman who's sponser was an actual Friend of Bills. She didn't let me stay long in that fear. We did the steps according to the Big Book...she took very literally the instruction on page 64 right after the 3rd step decision...the one that says "at once followed by a strenous effort to face, and be rid of , the things in ourselves which had been blocking us." AT ONCE was the opperative word! lol. Strenous was pretty active too. See, I think not enough folks know what this step is all about. It is to "disclose (to find and see it) damaged or unnsalable goods, to get rid of them promptly and (this is so very important) WITHOUT REGRET." Wow! Find all that stuff that has been blocking my connection with my Higher Power, see it, get rid of it promptly and without regret! Is that not a joyous thing? The 4th step is a celebration...It is the guarentee of the freedom that is God's will for me. Now, there are three steps that come before it...give us what we need to do it. And there are 8 steps that come after it...those are the party steps. Learning to live life on Gods terms without all the clutter of my own garbage in my way to trip me up. Give it a try. But make sure ya got a sponser who knows where the steps are in the big book, and who has had the experience of working them. "we are sure that God's will for us is to be happy, joyous and free. We cannot subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears...." It's in yer Big Book. Good journey finding it!
Member: Schani L
Location: Reality (mostly)
Date: 18 Mar 1999
Time: 00:35:14
Ooops...I goofed. double clicked. see, even with 12 years I still gotta learn to pay closer attention to the directions! Sorry.
Member: Bonnie C - 5/30/80
Location: Seattle
Date: 18 Mar 1999
Time: 04:35:45
Hi extended family, bonnie/alcoholic here (((ROOM-HUG))) THE 4TH STEP- man that was one i did not look forward to, what really helped was the fact i'd been reading 60thru63 since the first day i'd been sober. and i went to a step study & a big book study every week, i went to a meeting every day, my sponsor told me no relationships with the opposite sex for a yr & until I did a thorough 4th and 5th. she said to follow the big book diagram. my 1st 5th step was done at 13months sober, I had been writing my 4th for many months and when the pain got bad enuf i did the 5th. I have done a 4th&5th seperately on the seven deadly sins, my parents, my children, my man/woman relationships, employment, anything that gives me a moment of grief or concern, i do one on it. why not? at first I didnt have a whole lot of self honesty and the more honest i became with myself the more crap came up so i used those times to rid myself of the poison. i followed each with the rest of the steps especially the 9th these steps all freed me from the wreckage of my past, i was loaded with it. when i was 14yrs sober i was living with a friend that was treating me horribly, i was tiptoeing around trying not to upset her, wondering when i was going to be able to leave, when a thought struck me, this is how my children must have felt when i was on one of my tirades, i stopped right there and did another 4th step, followed with a 5th and wrote all 3 of my kids more amends letters. it sure hasnt hurt my relationships with my kids to become more real. more responsible. they know i am sorry for the things i have done and i have changed. this program has give me my family back, and as a side benny, grandkids that are lovingly shared with me with no hesitation by kids i used to abuse. just one of my numerous gifts attained with this step. we are all flawed drunks, the little white haired old lady i shared my first 5th step with was just as flawed as i was. she was alcoholic too. not many of us came out of monestaries. i also take my positve inventory at the same time as i take my defectives. anyway, in tradition 9 in the 12&12 it says, any AA member that does not do these steps to the best of his ability most certainly signs his own death warrant. I had spent too many yrs dead, i wanted to live before they buried me so i do the steps. it works ----- Dear God please bless all who venture here, love and hugs, bon --- bonzoc@webtv.net
Member: Pat S.
Location:
Date: 18 Mar 1999
Time: 14:20:13
Today is the day I start to write. I am beginning the fourth step. If anyone has a form or sugestions to help me I would be happy to hear from you my email is patcp@netscape.net I wish I knew how to go about getting those tapes that someone mentioned for help. This is major decision and the first day of the rest of my life. :o) I am truly grateful for the felloship of aa and my higher power "GOD" Pat
Member: Perry H
Location: PA
Date: 18 Mar 1999
Time: 16:51:23
Hello from Penna. I love the 4th step too!
Member: Perry H
Location: PA
Date: 18 Mar 1999
Time: 16:51:43
Hello from Penna. I love the 4th step too!
Member: Rhonda
Location: Dallas
Date: 18 Mar 1999
Time: 21:12:36
Hi I am Rhonda alcoholic. I was scared the first time I did my fourth step but I was a lot more scared of drinking. When I started I would do the 3rd step prayer at the beginning of writing. It would always just come out that way. I had four months when I started and I did my 5th step about a month later. I am celebrating 5 years April 1st and I know I would not still be here much less have the wonderful life I have if I wasn't willing to face who I was so I could get on with the business of becoming who God wanted me to be. Thanks for the step.
Member: Rick C.
Location: South East
Date: 18 Mar 1999
Time: 23:17:50
My name is Rick and I am an alcoholic. The fourth step was not what I was afraid of. I just thought I was afraid of it. The truth being, I was really afraid of the fifth step. This was when I would have to share this terrible, awful, mortifying, frightening, depressing, smelly, horrible, sickening, dreadful stuff.
My mind plays tricks on me. It told me that I was unique, and nobody in our 6,000,000,000 person population on earth could imagine anything like I had done. They had to be repulsed, because I certainly was. I hate me,and if YOU really knew what I had done you would hate me also?
I just have to do it. It doesn't matter how I feel about it. I tdoesn't matter if I want to or not. It doesn't matter if my wife or husband, or dog or cat leaves me, I still have to do it. I might get away with delay for a while, but eventually this disease will eat my lunch.
I would write for 10 minutes a day, after asking God to remove my fear and open my mind and my heart to the things HE would have me to write in my fourth step.
Love and Respect,
Rick C.
Member: Reger W
Location: Evansville, In
Date: 19 Mar 1999
Time: 06:04:40
To Nick S. reg: 14 Mar. 1999, I couldn't read your comment either; give it up nick, just admit that you screwed up and forget the ego. Remember when you point a finger at someone else, you have four more pointing back at you!
Member: Jim G.
Location: Maryland, USA
Date: 19 Mar 1999
Time: 19:21:03
I'm Jim, powerless over alcohol and glad I'm an alcoholic.
My usual morning prayer is, "I wonder what surprise my Higher Power has for me today!" But it wasn't always that way. Only by the grace of God was I able to stay away from the first drink and follow our program.
Our fourth step, "We made a fearless and searching moral inventory of ourselves." is one of the great steps to my recovery from alcoholism in AA.
My sponsor, the man who responded to my call for help in getting off the grog, often said, " If you're confused about one step, then go back to the previous step." I'd like to relate the essence of my early experience with our third step, "We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him." One day while walking down the street, I was tearfully frustrated, alone, broke, jobless, dry but faithless, attending AA meetings out of a sense of fear and duty. I couldn't stand it any longer. I gave in and shouted to myself. "I don't give a damn. Come hell or high water, I'm gonna run with these AAers and their program." Looking back now, this was my first peek at the third step of our program. And I ran with them, joyfully relishing the fellowship.
Later when I sought advice about my resentments and frustrations, other AAers in our little group referred me to our twelve steps. Then, a gal, four years sober, referred me to the 12X12 book when I sought advice on doing the fourth step. I read the chapter on it and went about taking my inventory.
With a background in material science and catechetic religion I found it a challenge to relate to the 12X12's emphasis on the early nineteenth century psychology of emotional drives as exemplified by the Judeo-Christian doctrines of sin. While I smugly thought myself fearless and searching, I was to realize later that I had been intellectually confused and spiritually deficient. I was complicating the inventory. I wasn't keeping it simple. I was completely fouled up.
I took the inventory to the minister at whose church the AA group met. I used it to take my fifth step, to admit to him "the exact nature of" my wrongs." The minister listened, advised and prayed for me. Afterward I felt no relief although others had told me great joy was in store for me after taking the fourth and fifth steps. Instead, I felt let down.
I went to see my AA friend, Johnny, whom I respected greatly. He had, or seemed to have had, everything contained in the list of promises following our big book's discussion of the ninth step in our big book. Perhaps he could help me if I talked with him about it.
But I found that Johnny had been jailed after a horrible drunk. I did what I could for him. I felt clammy when I left him.
As I drove away I had to pull off the road for I had filled up with tears. I had seen Johnny's state as a wound in the side of my higher power who was so loving and good. Then I sobbed for I had just realized that "the exact nature of my wrongs" was offending my higher power who had been so good to me. I gave up and prayed that I be made a better person.
This experience showed me the folly of taking the fourth step complacently, of overlooking our higher power in the process. I had learned that the offenses or sins I had committed against others --- my wife, my boss, my bank, my country, myself--- were most of all against my higher power who is so good and deserving of all my love
Years later a tragedy befell me leaving me blaming others. An AA friend urged me to take the fourth step. I was reluctant at first but later I did take it. In taking it and preparing for the following fifth step, I made a "fearless and searching inventory" of my good and bad behavior toward our higher power in myself, in others, in society, in the environment, and toward our higher power, per se.
In this and, especially in following our twelfth step---carrying this message to others and living by AA's principles---I have become acutely aware of God's loving nearness. So that I can confidently pray, " I wonder what surprise my higher power has for me today!"
What I've written doesn't mean I've received all the AA promises. It's just that I've got a life. A good one. I'm sober. I enjoy it. And, oddly, I don't mind too much when people call me an old fart!
3-19-99
Member: John O.
Location: Wheaton, IL
Date: 20 Mar 1999
Time: 09:30:51
Where does it say in the BB or 12&12 to take an inventory or your GOOD qualities?
Member: Nicole L.
Location: Midwest
Date: 20 Mar 1999
Time: 15:05:43
Hi I m Nicole, addict I can t seem to get powerless. Just keep holding on with all i got to control every thing. Would a fourth step help me or any other suggestions? I m new please help. Thanks nicoleNicole
Member: Nicole L.
Location: Midwest
Date: 20 Mar 1999
Time: 15:06:54
Hi I m Nicole, addict I can t seem to get powerless. Just keep holding on with all i got to control every thing. Would a fourth step help me or any other suggestions? I m new please help. Thanks nicole
Member: John M.
Location: CA
Date: 20 Mar 1999
Time: 18:27:59
Page 46 12x12 "assets"
Member: Sue V
Location: Iowa
Date: 20 Mar 1999
Time: 23:23:46
Hi I'm Sue and I am an alcoholic and an addict.
I was required to take my fourth and fifth steps before I left treatment. When I was handed my 4th step worksheet listing those qualities from the BB, I just tore right into it. It was extremely easy for me to write about how awful I had been. I was just filling page after page, and then I hit the pages on my good qualities. It took me what seemed like forever to come up with a few lines for each one. That fact showed me just how very sick I was. An appointment was made for my 5th step. (They were held with people of the program trained in 5th step listening). Even doin it with a stranger was so very tramatic. We were in the room for hours. The only thing that got me through it was the 11th step. I would constantly pray during both the 4th and 5th steps for knowledge of his will and the power to carry it out. What I found out is that I am not such a horrible person. I'm not any worse than anybody else. I had such serenity following my 5th. It felt like heaven on earth to get it all off my chest and out into the open. I have since learned that to be mean or hurtful to myself is to be mean and hurtful to God. I am God and God is me. I now have faith in God. I know today that where I am right now is where I need to be and where I am going is going to be good. My son just got arrested for possession with the intent to deliver. I have no fear for him, because I know that whatever the outcome is, it is exactly the way it is suppose to be. Will it be easy, no. But it will be right. Because God takes care of us. We are his chosen, the ones that he deemed should be blessed with these wonderful 12 steps. Wouldn't the world benefit from a searching and fearless MORAL inventory?
Thanks for letting me share, I love this sight. Usually I am just a reader, not a sender. Sue