Member: Joanne N.
Location: Watertown, N.Y.
Time: 9:18:39 PM
Hi everyone, I'm Joanne, an alcoholic! Step 6 was a stumbling block for me in early recovery. I thought that somehow it depended on me to do something. You know, Steps 4 & 5 were so action packed that I thought there was some magical thing I had to do (emphasis on "I") with Step 6! All i really had to be was entirely ready! That's all! As we say, it's a simple program for complicated people! And I made it more complicated than I needed to! After all, who does the removing? My Higher Power! That means I have to turn something more over to HP. That means I'm not incontrol! Egads! I'm an alcoholic and there "they" go asking me to let go again! But, it works. Are my defects of character all gone? Not, my name is not Saint Joanne! I still struggle with them. Do I want HP or am I ready for HP to remove them today? Most of them. unfortunately I'm still comfortable with some of them, but I'm ready if it's HP's time to take them away. It isn't in my time, it's in HP's time!
Member: Catherine W
Location: Rainy Ramona, CA
Time: 9:33:47 PM
Catherine here, Alcoholic and grateful to be sober!
Step six, the removal of our defects of character. In the Big Book it has only two paragragh. First we have to answer some questions about the work we've done thus far.
Is our work solid so far?
Are the stones properly in place?
Have we skimped on the cement put into the foundation?
Have we tried to make motor without sand?
If we can answer these questions to our satisfaction then we look at step six.
Here comes willingness again....Are we now ready (and willing) to have God remove the things which we admitted are objectionable? Can He now take them all-every one? If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing.
That's it. Its about simply becoming WILLING to have God take those things from us.
As we work our way through the steps we expeience their simplicity of order and the great freedom which awaits us on the other side.
Member: Bob P.
Location: N. Calif
Time: 9:49:16 PM
Bob P. here, bona fide alcoholic. Step 6 requires willingness, all right. For me, it also requires humility. I have to say to myself that it's OK to actually ASK for help because I always thought that I was supposed to internalize everything and keep it inside. If you asked for help--and did something really different like praying---that was some sign of weakness. Well, that "weakness" got me nowhere. Willingness is a big part of Step 6, but for me personally, I had to realize that it really is OK to simply say: hey, I need some help--I can't do this all by myself anymore.
Member: jerry h
Location: mt vernon wa.
Time: 8:44:51 PM
hi my name is jerry and i'm an alcoholic\addict.in my area we are allowed to talk about other addictions because na here is geared to teenagers and does not welcome alcoholics. my alcoholism includes a powerful addiction to a specific cold tablet. i want my higher power to remove this defect yet i keep taking it. i pray for willingness but i guess i'm not ready-not willing enough. this addiction is connected to sex so it's hard to let go. as my sponsor says, "we know what to do it's just so damn hard
." i'm going to continue to ask for willingness.i'm grateful for my sobriety. i have six and a half years sober. this addiction has continued the whole time. if any one has any advice on this i'd appreciate it. thanks for letting me share.
Member: Tom S
Location: Holt, Michigan
Time: 8:46:37 PM
My name is Tom S from Michigan. I was sober for almost a year and thought I needed nothing further to do with AA. I never REALLY got past Step 6 and , of course, I relapsed last week. It is almost funny that this is my first try at Cyber AA and the discussion of the week is Step 6. I am trying desperately to let my HP remove my character flaws but it is such a struggle for me to believe there isn't anything I can't do by myself. I have a long way to go but I want to live the rest of my life as a sober person Tom S
Member: Damian C.
Time: 10:14:38 PM
Hang in there Tom. I would suggest getting to a meeting asap and sharing your experience. I will pray for you tonight.
Member: Larry M.
Location: Virginia Beach
Time: 12:39:02 AM
The first thing I needed to do to become entirely ready was to work the 5 Steps that come before Step 6. I had to become familiar with my character defects, not so much on an intellectual level - I already knew I was selfish, self-centered, dishonest, etc. - but on a gut level. I had to really feel the pain my character defects were causing me, to feel their full weight on my shoulders, to become aware of how they were imprisoning me and making my life miserable. I had to hit an emotional bottom of sorts. Steps 4 & 5 got me to that point.
I also had to surrender again. The first surrender was to my alcoholism. This surrender was to my character defects. I had tried for many years, decades in some cases, to fix my character defects through force of my own willpower. I had about the same success as I did with controlling my drinking: none. I thought that when I got sober I would be more successful in being able to fix my own shortcomings. Wrong. I can't fix myself; I can only ALLOW myself to be fixed. So after repeated failures to remove my own character defects, I finally gave up.
Then I was entirely ready.
Thanks for letting me share.
Peace & Serenity
Member: Jack B
Location: Cumbola Pa
Time: 2:31:05 AM
Hi I am Jack, a real alcoholic.Step six and step seven for me are the two most profound statements in our program.We have looked at ourselves and now what are we gonna do about it.Am I ready to take a stand, am I willing to have some values,am I willing to change,am I willing to say no when saying yes might be so much easier and more pleasurable.If I am willing to ask God for the help to accomplish the above, then I am ready for step six. I believe the first five steps are about the old me, and the remaining steps are about the new me. Step six for me is the true beginning of the inward journey. Thanks for a great topic and God Bless all on our miraculous journey.
Member: Chuck M
Time: 2:31:33 AM
Chuck, an alcoholic who has recovered.
The 1st time I encountered step6 my answer was yes I am willing and blew right past this step.
Later when I learned the AA program in the Big Book I found there was much more to this step. It asks me to check the first 5 steps- do I really believe that I was deep in insanity and needed God's help to get out. Did I really start doing things God's way. He said I had to cease to resent[forgive] and that the symptons of my insanity were selfishness, dishonesty, self-seeking and fear. These 4 basic characteristics are what ruled and ruined my life. Would I like to be rid of these? YES YES I am willing, what do I have to do? Do the rest of the steps. I was beginning to see the benefits I received by following God's instructions.
Peace and serenity to all
Member: Mary L.
Location: Buffalo, NY
Time: 12:21:05 PM
Willingness is the name of the game. I like the statement about the first 5 steps being about the old me. Am I ready and willing for sobriety and the new me? If so, no treading water, action is required. I pray for willingness on a daily basis, weather I mean it or not. Also a better understanding of God's will and the power to carry it out. As long as I'm willing, I'm on the road to sobriety, if not, just dryness. I've got a lot to learn about this new & sober life, and am grateful for the fellowship, and the Program, my sponser, and especially my Higher Power for bringing me this far.
Member: Pat S
Time: 5:25:40 PM
Hi Tom my email firstname.lastname@example.org I hope you write I am here for you. PatS
Member: Rose M.
Time: 8:18:45 PM
I'm an alcoholic, my name is Rose.
A while ago I realized that I was not really willing to have God take away my defects because I enjoyed some of them. My selfishness and self-indulgence, for example, were traits that gave me a thrill. Gossiping or self-righteousness made the adrenalin flow. As far as sobriety went, I wasn't sure I was willing to have that desire removed. I began to pray that I might have the willingness TO HAVE THE WILLINGNESS to have these defects and cravings removed.
I'm very grateful to find this website because I have a hard time leaving the family at night!
Member: Michael B.
Time: 9:31:05 PM
Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome to those new to Step 6! And thanks everyone for sharing!
When I confronted Step 6 for the first time, I was still in such fear from being so badly beaten by alcohol that I had no problem feeling willing to have God remove all my defects of character. Not surprisingly, as this process began to unfold with my continued sobriety, the degree of willingness I exhibited in having these defects removed varied considerably, depending, among other things, on the particular defect and the depth of my spiritual development.
Over the years, I feel that I have made decent progress with this Step, despite my periodic reluctance to be willing. One important thing that I need to remember about this Step is that it's God who will be doing the removing of defects!
Member: Lynn S
Time: 10:48:19 PM
I'm Lynn and alcoholic. I took this step the first night and waited for the big zzzap!-years later, I realized that I was looking for something in this step that would never happen. I would never be perfect. Some things are different in my life. I stopped lying, stealing, cheating, self-pity and manipulation, but as the years have gone by- very slowly I've begun to grow up. Never feeling good enough for anything or anyone and accepting myself as human was growth. Learning to own my behavior and recognize self-pity when it occurs are the character defects that began to be removed that were important. Today, I'm not so blind to myself. My intolerance and rush to judgement of others, my paranoia, my tendency to get my feelings hurt, and sensitivities have not been removed, but I am aware of them and parts of my human condition that will never be removed. That has been a great gift to me accomplished through this step and has been an invaluable aid and kept me from many insane actions. Thanks for being here.
Member: Lesley D
Time: 11:27:56 PM
I'm Lesley and I'm an alcoholic. This is my first Cyber meeting and it's been a great experience. I too had all kinds of trouble with the 6th step my first time around. This is the first time I've seen so many others share a similar experience. I often hear people share their difficulties with steps 4 and 9 but at the meetings I attend, step 6 discussion is full of generalities. Thank you for sharing! When I got to step 6, I was still in shock from my realization in the previous steps that my defects were not only apparent when I was actually drunk, but were a constant part of my life. I thought, until then, that I was a pretty decent person that only had problems when drinking. As I had stopped drinking I expected the rest to be easy. But the obsession hadn't yet gone away. Working on step 6 I expected perfection within a very short time. I examined my actions each day and naturally found my defects still very much in action. Every day the defects were there, and every day I became more upset about that. Like others have said, I thought it was up to me alone to fix my defects. Eventually I looked to the bottle again for help. This time around, I talked to a lot of people about step 6 and realized that my part in it is the willingness. I still have character defects, and I'll probably have some of them for a long time, maybe forever. As long as I'm humble enough to acknowledge that, I can be open to having them removed. The removal of them is difficult at times, I have come to depend on them to 'get through' tough situations. Without them, I often don't know how to handle situations. I am coming to learn that with humility and honesty any problems I have are resolved in a way that is best for everyone. This step is teaching me patience and building on my faith in my higher power.
Member: Rose M.
Time: 8:13:36 AM
Surrendering to God's will has been the answer for me. Like I said yesterday, I had to pray for the willingness to have the willingness. That was the key for me. The resistance that was keeping me from accepting my HP's will was removed and I became open to a new life experience. Now I find myself holding back when in the past I would have felt obligated to share my self-righteous opinions. I try to leave the room rather than gossip, and I question my thoughts even when I don't express them. I understand that description of "stinking thinking" whereas before I didn't question myself.
For me, this is the fulfillment of the Promises. I do know a new freedom and a new happiness that releases me from the bondage of me!
Most of all, I am happy that I do not drink, one day at a time. I feel so much better about myself and my family is healthier because of it. The desire still pops up for me but if I keep my prayers focused on that willingness, and my attention focused on one day at a time, things seem to go well. At least they have so far.
I'm grateful this morning.
Time: 1:36:45 PM
I'm Mary and an alcoholic. Step six like some previous comments, doesn't require much from us as individuals. It requires us to surrender to a higher power and this is sometimes scarier than to do the work ourselves. We have to admit that we aren't the all knowing being we always assumed we (I) was. Someone else has to do something for us and we have to depend on someone else. It's called giving up control and this is scarry stuff.
Thanks to all who shared.
Member: Nanette S
Time: 4:40:48 PM
I'm Nanette and an alcoholic. I was strugling with my defects.. I now realize thanks to the comments by Lynn S that my defects don't necessarily go away.. but the willingness to look at them and give them to God moves us in the right directions.. Thanks for letting me share and for all of you who have shared.. It's been great having a place to turn to when so many other events in our lives claim our time.
Member: Lisa L.
Location: Poconos, PA
Time: 5:32:37 PM
Hello, everyone my name is Lisa and I am an alcoholic. I can relate to Joannie n. from Ny. I tend to, as an alcoholic, complicate this step. This is the step I am presently working on and finally honest and WILLING to let go those hang-ons to the "old" self. I always hear that these are the forgotten steps....how true that is for myself since I have worked through the steps and "magically" slinked through 6(and 7.) I feel as if I should be doing an action rather than allowing my control to be turned over to HP. If nothing else this step has shown me the light to accepting and trusting the HP. I am realizing that it is ok to be me and that I am right where I am supposed to be! Without this program I would be nothing and working through these steps though all the bumps and bruises I am becoming someone....who Hp wants me to be...eternal gratitude for this program and the wondereful people in it. ~Lisa
Member: Colleen N
Time: 1:52:22 AM
Hello, My name is Colleen and I'm an addict. After working so hard on step 4 and then 5, I assummed step 6 was going to be alot of work, considering that most of my character was made up of defects. Then I came across this book, Meditations for the twelve steps a spiritual journey. It states "to expect action in the 6th step is a mistake. It is time for an internal change of heart and mind. Just as physical healing after an injury is not the result of effort on our part; so too, we cannot produce willingness to change. God produces the willingness, and God produces the healing." The work I have accomplished in step 6 is a gift from God. I was entirely ready in mind and spirit to have God remove the defects of character which have croppled and hurt me. All I needed was to pray for the willingness. I was relieved after reading this and I continue to pray about one defect a day for the willingness to be rid of it. Progress not perfection, and I need it real simple.
Member: Linda F.
Time: 4:32:00 PM
I want to thank this meeting for helping me earlier in the week but I did not share. It was a great way to connect and get centered. There are so many levels of surrender and I'm realizing that giving up control "doing it Myself" "being self-sufficient" It is an illusion but not an easy one to let go of. It always seems that I continue to do something till I no longer do it anymore and I have to love and be gentle with myself thru this process while continuing to pray for the willingness to let go. Sometimes I want to but I'm not so willing to be in the hallway (without my defenses and not yet on the other side)that it seems easier not to go thru it but it isn't. when God so graciously gives me a reprieve I have to be willing to go thru the uncomfortability till I get to the other side.
Member: Paul B
Location: Kirkland, WA
Time: 11:33:32 PM
Step 6 for me was an awakening. In step 3, I was willing to turn my life over to the care of God. Then I was able to put God aside for a while.
After telling another human being my defects of characater, I was sent home and instructed to review what I had done. I went to thank God and re-read the Big Book. It was then I realized, to be ready to have God remove my defects of character and have it work, I needed to examine my relationship with God. Was I willing to give up my defects? Did I believe in God? How much did I believe in God? What were the facts that supported the existance of God? I hit a wall. Something was missing. For me, I was a man of little faith. I had not surrendered enough nor had faith enough to believe God could or would remove my defects of character.
As a result of doing the instructions in the Big Book and praying like I had never prayed before (a new level of willingness), I was able to humbly surrender my body and soul to a new and living God. I felt things I had never imagined, let alone feel. I felt the presence of God. A new peace I had never known enveloped me. Faith was the turning point for me.
By humbly finding faith in God, I was able to relinquish the old me. For me, step 6 was a huge miracle in that I developed a conviction I have not lost or even desired to. I finally found God. Step 6 was truly my life saver.
Step 7 came was icing on my "birth" day cake.
Great Step, great discussion. Thanks for letting me share.
In God's love and service. Paul
Member: Thelma B
Time: 4:50:30 PM
Hi My name is Thelma, I am an alcoholic I really didn't know I had any defects until I did step my fourth step, which was the best thing I could do for myself. There I found out about the selfishness an the self centererness. It was hard to believe that such a wonderful person as myself could be any of those things. But I was. Thank God I ws willing to look at myself and wiling to work this program to the best of my ability. When I came into the program I was beaten I came in willing to follow directions so I had no problem doing whaaat my sponsor and the literture told me to do to practice these principles in all my affairs. no I am not perfect and thank God the only step I have to do one hundred percent is step one.So continued on to follow the Big Book to the best of my ability, one day at a time one step at a time. being willing to have God remove all these defects.The ones I could do something about I work on the ones I cant He works on .when and if God wants them removed he'll do it there are some God given basic instints that he gave us that he will not remove. But I have to continue to work on my self, continue to go to meetings,continue to share with other human beinggs to keep those instints right size, If I keep doing the work .God will do the rest. THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME SHARE. Thelma
Member: BOB H.
Location: TRIANGLE CLUB,SOUTH BEND,INDIANA
Time: 8:40:09 AM
HI BOB ALCOHOLIC; JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU FOR ALL THE REMINDERS I AGREE STEP 6 IS THE ICEING ON THE CAKE FOR ME AS LONG AS I CONTINUE AND NOT GET COMPLACEMENT AND THINK IM FINISHED I"M ALWAYS REMINED TO CONTINUE AND TRUST GOD TO DO HIS PART HE ALWAYS DOES
Time: 6:12:37 PM
Step 6 is somewhat of a mystery, as for changing a sinfull nature or the so called "flesh" to a clean thing, is not how it works. Many would have it so and forgo any work in this area, others try to improve themselves. But the true outworking of this step is a constant obedience to the precepts of God, who works inwardly. Once one has an ongoing knowledge of God, or the Spirit, when one is instant in prayer, every question that can come to mind is handed to the Lord, thus, instruction is given. When this happens on an ongoing basis, error ceases to be, for the will of God is accomplished, and shortcomings eliminated. For who knows to go right or left, forward or back, to speak or keep silent, lest he first ask the Lord, or his Father. "My way's are not your way's" saith the Lord, therefore we must always ask what to do. To cease from thine own wisdom, that is perfection. Let us press on then to know God, and add more and more to our spiritual progress by that obedience to the faith that works through love.
Member: Morris G
Time: 10:27:51 PM
The nice thing about this step is the fact that you do not have to ask your higher power to remove your shortings, but be ready to have god remove them. If you did a proper step 4 and 5 then this should be no problem. The hard part is Step 7. After I did steps 4 and 5 and answered to the questions then I could see that this step requires not action. For thoose of you who are having a problem this this step, then you need to relook at step 4 and 5 and make sure that you have a solid foundation. It took me almost six years of being in AA before I could really start doing the steps. But after meeting some people in CO that helped me both grow up and realize that the time was right. I also found that it made it easier to do the rest of the steps and I have over 12 1/2 years of being sober and in AA.
Member: Bonnie C 5/30/80
Time: 2:31:05 AM
Hi extended family, bonnie/alcoholic here, (((ROOM-HUG))) man i love u drunks and druggies, you have saved my life by sharing this program with me. Step 6, my beautiful (oldtimer) sponsor (tough as nails, laced with AA love) had me write out the seven deadlys and how they related to me today. then I took each one of those on little pieces of paper and one by one on my knees placed them in my God box. I then read and studied the seventh in the BB and 12&12 and she and I went to the beach where I knelt down and did the seventh step prayer. So I thought God had definately heard me and of course He had removed all these blemishes. I thought that little bit of sand that hit me as I knelt was fairy dust and I would stand and glow with all those defects and shortcomings gone. WRONGGGG! the way my God deals with me is that I get to experience situations where my defects show up. and I either practice that defect in full nauseating style of the past or I can choose to do it a little differently. use a little self restraint, not say whats on my mind if I'm angry. put someone in my God Box instead of ripping them up with my biting words. Not always having to be right or get the last word in. When someone tears into me, not always to retaliate immediately, etc. etc but look inside myself to see how I've set myself up for this, so i can change and/or never invite that again or ignore them and recognize the pain their words are coming from. Happy people don't attack others. Whether it's beating them up physically, with their words in anger or even with the BigBook. there are alot of angry people in this program, I was one of them and I was guilty of beating others with this program, pretending I was so spiritual, till I saw someone else doing it and it hit me. So as my dear sponsor said when i did this step the first time, be patient with yourself dear heart, you have the rest of your life to work this one, but the more diligent you are with it, the sooner you become happy, joyous and free. So I continue to recognize them and do a little better each day. Sometimes I practice them and do the writing, talking and praying that's necessary to rid the pain. I just keep trudgin and honestly it does get better. The freedoms that I have today are wonderful. If this didn't work I would tell you. It truly does, so hang in there dear hearts till your miracles happen. If I would have written a list 20 yrs ago of the things that I wanted for my life, I would have short changed myself cause I never knew it could be this good. Dear God please bless all who venture here. Love and hugs, bon email@example.com
Member: Kat L.
Location: Austin, TX
Time: 8:54:19 AM
Hi everybody. Thanks for the good AA meeting :-)
Bonnie I really hear ya. It took me soooo long to get that perfectionism was a defect and not an ideal! A little bit at a time, let go and let God. Many experiences with the biggest action I've ever had to take: INACTION. Standing still, with a willingness to feel all the feelings that seem to generate out of nowhere. After all, there were "reasons" for the construction of the personality I had wrapped around me when I came to AA. We call them the "underlying causes and conditions" here in AA. Survival was uppermost on the list. The 4th step in the 12 & 12 talks about character defects as instincts gone awry. For me that was "becoming bigger". In the beginning the fear that was generated by not acting on the survival skills I had developed was overwhelming. I needed every meeting and every friend in recovery I had. A little bit at a time, I've been able to learn to trust my higher power. I discovered that "going down the rabbit's hole" didn't mean I had to stay there, and feeling anger didn't mean that I'd end up in prison for homicide. I'm grateful to have found this "cyber meeting". What a wonderful way to start my day. Love and peace
Time: 9:54:27 AM
Let's see here....defects? Yup,i got 'em! My highest hurdle is the tendency to go on(to the point of obssessing) an intense guilt trip over them.Today i try to recognize my defects and behave toward others as i would like others to behave toward me.I often fail.I often succeed.Ultimitley i need to ask god for guidance.The poster above(((Kat.L.?))) has some powerful insight to offer when see asserts the need to "sit" with her feelings and not necessarily act on them.Tough thing to accomplish....at times.Grateful forever to god that i have made progress in that department.Part of my progress has been attributed to the realization that feelings are not facts,noone has ever died from a feeling(to the best of my knowledge),and they come in three flavors: Negative,Positive, and neutral.Oh,let me add,they can be mixed.
Member: Mary K
Location: Boston (Raynham)
Time: 3:36:34 PM
Hi everyone ! Mary, alcoholic.
Great reading everyone's post. Gave me lots of food for thought and I really like that.
For me, before I could become willing to have God remove my defects of character I had to first recognize what they were and why I developed these defects in the first place (previous steps).
Like mentioned above - there was no pixy dust - only prayer, practice, time, prayer, practice, time. I may have been ready to have these things removed but I tend to take things for granted that come too easily - apparently my HP knows this and has made me earn the changes I have made in my defects. And know what? They pop back up - at least mine have/do. Prayer, practice, time..........
Lotta love - Mary.
Member: Pablo N
Time: 3:44:32 PM
Member: Pablo Nieves
Time: 4:30:50 PM
Member: Michael B.
Time: 8:18:50 PM
Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alocholic and addict, sober today only by the grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome to those newcomers to Step 7! And thanks everyone for sharing!
As I ended my comments about Step 6, so also with Step 7, I must still be aware that God will be the one doing the removing--in His time. Nebertheless, as this Step indicates, I must ask first, something I do everyday.
It's important for me to ask because I seem to always want to take full credit for my own spiritual and character development. In other words, I have this tendency to want to revert to playing God. Old habits die hard!
Perhaps of more immediate importance, I need to ask God to remove my defects of character, because it's these very character defects that could lead me back to the bottle.
Time: 1:02:45 AM
My name is Tacey and I am an alcoholic. I am many other things, but at an AA meeting, I am simply an alcoholic. I loved what "anonymous" said. I can tell from the prolific writing that you are a true follower of a spiritual life and I admire that. Please keep posting..for me. Step six is between five and seven. Right after the verbal fourth and right before asking for the things in my inventory that caused me trouble to be removed. A step of pondering and praying. Pondering on what may be an obstacle from my future growth and praying that those obstacles be removed. It is in this step (and 7th) that I learn more about my powerlessness. I cannot remove my own character defects/shortcomings. I can simply become willing to have them removed. And, the secret is as was said earlier--a constant turning to God for guidance. Thy will, not mine, be done. Remove all character defects which stand in the way of my usefulness to You and to my fellowman. Thy will, not mine, be done. Thanks.
Member: Neil B.
Time: 3:54:33 AM
i'like to start by saying thank god for all of you and a.a. Step six to me means that i am looking at me as i really am and before ican become willing to have my defects removed i have to first recognize them as objectionable too me.This can be tricky at times because some of my defects i really like and thy have become such a part of me that if i let go i am afraid of what going to be left. I've really come to see that steps six and seven are alifetime deal.As i continue to grow i become more aware and what was acceptable behavior yesterday is'nt always acceptable today.Becoming entirley ready for me is usually brought about by that great motivator and equalizer. Pain.Thanks for letting me share. KIS
Member: Father Paul
Location: Chicago, Il
Time: 10:36:12 AM
I am Father Paul and I am an alcoholic.
The miracle in my life is that I am sober and I am the one that needs to know that is me. I am sober because of the people that twelve stepped me in the past, those that will twelve step me today and those that will continue to twelve step me in the future.
My sobriety date is 25th of November, 1988 and my home group is 'The End of the Road' Men's Book Study.
I am so sorry that people read so much into this step. The only thing that is required of me in this step is that I am willing to have God remove my defects of character. I don't even ask him to remove them at this point. I just have to be willing to have him remove them. These defects are what I found caused me resentments and fears in steps 4 and 5. This step is following step 5. I have to find out what my shortcomings are and then I have to tell my God, myself and another human being the exact nature (I am sorry but there is no plurality in the word nature) of my wrongs. Once I find out what these defects are and I discuss them in step five, I then review to find if I have left anything out of step 4 and 5. Then I come to step 6. And if we read what it says, then all I have to be is willing to have God remove these defects. I DO NOT REMOVE ANY DEFECTS OF CHARACTER, I become a vessel inwhich God removes them as HE sees fit, not as I want them. Part of the 7th step prayer says 'that I now ask that you remove every single defect of character that stands in the way of my usefullness to you and to my fellows'. I am not asking God to remove all of my defects of character but to remove those that will hinder my usefullness and just for that day, because we live in a grace period of 24 hours. Remember that yesterday is history and tomorrow is a mystery, that is why they call today the present. We need to read what is written not what we wish was written.
And just so all of you know, yes even priests have defects of character.
Bless you all, I am forever Father Paul
Member: Sue J
Location: S. Calif
Time: 11:13:51 PM
Sue J grateful alcoholic, This was a great meeting. I believe willingness to allow God to do the work is THE KEY for this step in my program. Since I am a control freak that won't let any one else drive. (One of my glaring charecter defects Fear.) I find that when the oppertunity to USE one of my old charecter defects comes up it is my chance to surrender that defect to God. For my really entrenched charecter defects that are damaging to any kind of a sober life,it seems like these take the same amount of practice as being willing not to drink or do other obssesive behavior. Others seem to be a one shot deal and I give them away with ease. Thank you again for the sharing
Member: Mary I.
Location: Oklahoma City
Time: 4:28:30 AM
Step 6: I did this one before, but now I'm starting over...I thought I was RECOVERED...and I crashed...I guess I wasn't WILLING enough...to let GOD take care of the rest. Now, I NEED His help, because I can't do it alone! Yes, I'll be more WILLING this time....
Member: Don H
Location: Franklin Park, NJ
Time: 4:00:46 PM
Don a grateful recovering alcoholic.
Amen Father Paul, it took me many years of trying to fix myself by working on my character defects. I got nowhere. I finally heard loud and clear at a meeting that removing character defects is God's business. I no longer try to play God, I simply pray for the knowledege of his will and the power to carry it out. My life is a lot simpler today.
I believe the main reason so many of our members appear to complicate this step relates to our understandable aversion to anything that smacks of powerlessness. As with alcohol, I am powerless over my character defects. If I remove them they could not be defects in the true meaning of the word.
Member: Mary O
Time: 3:20:08 AM
Step 6 for me lately is tied in to my desire to seek and do God's will. By that I mean, it is NOT me who gets rid of these character defects. In steps 4 and 5 I become aware of them, and in 6 I ask they be removed. THAT DOES NOT MEAN THEY WILL BE REMOVED SIMPLY BECAUSE I ASKED!!! That took me a long time to learn. Part of my alcoholism includes seeing the world in black and white. Well, life is grey. My characteristics are removed as God sees fit, not me. And usually very gradually, over time. The key for me is to get up every day, and pray for the willingness to do God's will. And if God sees fit, to guide me that day. I used to beat myself up if say my character defect anger came back that day. But my spiritual journey is progress not perfection, and each day, things get a little better. That is spiritual for me. To keep believing in God, even when things don't change the way I THINk they ought to (my self-will). thanks for letting me share.
Member: Paul Q
Time: 11:51:11 AM
Willingness........here is that key again!
Willing for the garbage man to remove it! Its that simple, but first understand who the garbage man is and the power he has over our lives.......
Love and Service Paul (real alcoholic type 3) firstname.lastname@example.org