Member: Jan B.
Location: Syracuse, NY
Time: 11:11:39 AM
Wow - great topic this week for me. I haven't been here in a long time. I recently quit for about 30 days. Is was quite difficult but all along I kept thinking - hey maybe down the road I can just manage it. Well last week I had real job problems and decided to try to drink in moderation. I know everyone knows where I am going with this - the fact is I have a problem with alcohol and my life has become unmanageable. I have gotten up late every morning. Tired, weak, and depressed. It didn't solve this issues at hand or calm me down. It has made my life unsettled. I am tired of quitting for 30 days or less only to return to drinking. My thoughts of drinking take over and the same result occurs. I can't believe I can be so ignorant not to catch the thought before I return to drinking. I admit I am powerless over alcohol and my life has become unmanageable. Thanks for listening.
Time: 11:49:10 AM
For me the only defence against the 1st drink msut come from a high power. The bg bk tells me, where & how! That is what what the big books main objective is. With it i found a H. P. that i could call upon to help me stay sober. The meetings is were i found a sponser & others to call when the urge to drink came over me. The key is to call before i took the first drink thats what they told me. It has worked then & still works today. Yes i am an alcoholic & my life is unmanageable, i knew this before i went to my first mtg; but i didn`t know how to stop the insanity of the 1st drink. Untill i partisapated in my own recovery, did i feel trully free. The work of a good sponser & the 12 steps of recovery set me free. To day is my 13th year of recovery. One day at a time. I am sober only by the grace of a higher power & you people of AA...... Thanks, Jeff
Member: Bonny G
Location: Hot Springs, AR
Time: 12:23:10 PM
Very good topic! Back to the beginnings, it's like sometimes I need to realize that I am powerless over people, places and things, all over again. I find today that "situations" are what through me out of whack. My life becomes unmanagable all over again when I allow these situations to occupy space in my head. For me today, I know that drinking can't be an option in my life, and if I allow myself to rely on my thinking, I'll be in trouble. I must trust God to give me the directions in life that I need in order to maintain my life. I am powerless over alcohol and the effects it has on me, and without God in my life today all the unmanagability from my past will just jump right up here again today. God bless you all for being here.
Member: Fareedah B.
Time: 1:29:36 PM
Hi everyone -- I am powerless over alcohol and my life is unmanageable without God. I love this step because it took me a while after entering AA to get this one. I attended my first meeting in 1988 and stayed clean for the next two years nine months. I then drank again. It took me eight months of "in and out" to get back.
I have been back 10 years April 27, and I know that the first step is the key to not drinking. The first time I was sober, I went to meetings everyday, I had a sponsor, and attempted to work the steps. What I also had was a lurking notion that I could still drink.
Since returning I know that the first step is one that I must work on a daily basis. I can never drink alcohol in any form and in order to maintain the abilit to not drink, one day at a time, I must stay spiritually fit.
Member: Adam H.
Location: Nagano, JAPAN
Time: 4:31:25 PM
When drunk, I was a dishonest, vomiting pig; when not drinking I was a raging, self-centered maniac. There was no crowd I could drink may way into because who wants to hang out with a lying vomiting pig...nor did I know how to deal with people without drinking as there was no release from the anger inside unless I had a drink. Under these conditions, I could not possibly stay alive...but how could I possibly not act either way?
This is the state I was in when I arrived at Alcohlics Anonymous...utter confusion. And for me, if I was going to get any help or any release from living in my own skin the way I was, I had to admit that I needed help.
Six years later, I have a new set of tools for living inside this body sober and peacefully among my fellows and I am very grateful for it--the Twelve Steps. My life has been saved.
Grateful to be alive and sober!
Member: Rollie G
Location: Lennoxville.Que. Can.
Time: 8:44:52 PM
Good evening out there to all my new cybers friends. i had a very hard time to accept and admit that i was powerless over alcohol and my life had become unmangeable. It took me 37yrs. to sink in my hard head. Today i am a greatful and recovering alcoholic. Thanks to AA. and you people i am still alive because i was on my way out Have a good 24hrs. everyone out there. Love you all Rollie G. and SOBER.
Member: Thelma l Taylor
Location: Napa/Yountville Cal.
Time: 8:55:52 PM
Hello everyone. Yes step 1 was difficult for me. I only got help with my drinking due to 3 DUI'S. sO IN THE BEGINNING i DID NOT FEEL THAT i WAS POWERLESS OR AN Alcoholic. I had never been fired from a job yet. I learned very fast that if I drank again that all would be possible to loose. After 6 months it finally hit me during a meeting that yes I am an Alcoholic and can not drink as my life does become unmanageable. I have chosen not to drink a day at a time for 18 years and I have not had to drink. God has been good to me along with all of my friends in AA. Great day to be clean and sober
Member: Jeff R.
Location: Maine, USA
Time: 9:36:01 PM
Step one defines the problem: lack of power. If you are a real alcoholic (definition is in the BB) as I am, the problem is that we lost the power of choice when it came to alcohol. I made attempts to regain the power of choice by stopping for 30 days, etc. but always came back to alcohol. I had to for I had become powerless over it.
The second part of step one refers not to the inablility to manage a checkbook but to the inability to manage our lives away from a drink. Everything I did revolved around a drink. I had but one criteria for where my life went; will there be alcohol there? If so, I was all set. If not, I would fight and make life miserable until (my parents, my friends, girlfriend, etc.) gave up and stopped trying to get me to go to events where alcohol was not going to be present.
I realized I was an alcoholic when I heard someone say this at a meeting. "When I picked up a drink I couldn't stop drinking. When I wasn't drinking I was thinking about drinking." At first I thought I'd found a loophole because I wasn't always thinking about the next drink. Then the person went on to say that thinking about drinking included not just thinking about how to get the next drink. It also meant that when I wasn't thinking about getting the next drink I was thinking about how I was going to stay away from the next drink. Thus my loophole was closed and I was left with the realization that I was indeed an alcoholic.
Step two will show us the solution.
To Jan B. - You won't find sobriety stopping by an online AA meeting occasionally. When you are ready to stop drinking for real, get your ass to a real meeting and ask for help. Who knows? You just might get sober.
Member: Richard J.
Location: Fallon NV
Time: 12:27:31 AM
Im Alcoholic and I suffer from a disease called Richard, I am very new in recovery, stable yet very fragile. Im 36 days sober the first step for me was a given, although my disease has a way of bringing me right back to it, when i get into self will, and away from HP. For my survival I must stay tenderly close, or face the consequence. 4 days after my last drink it was either work this program with RIGOROUS honesty or fall to the disease. I was shown a road map which brought me to a place where I gave up all the things that were keeping me drunk. Then the storm clouds dissapated, and at once I felt the feeling of what it is like to be free, and have the compulsion removed, as long as I keep close. I am no saint, but I am willing, and greatfull to be a sober alcoholic.
Thanks to this simple gift from GOD. I pray for all the alcoholics @ addicts still suffering.
Time: 10:49:15 AM
Hello..... I'm kjoe Alcoholic/Addict... One; WE Admited we were powerless over Alcohol --- that our lifes had become unmanageable. This is the one step I can totally agree with in AA. This is the only Step in AA I can work to perfection. I will BALK at the other 11 steps but, this step has a truth about it. I am an Alcoholic. My life had become unmanageable. Now, it has been many moons since, my last drink or drug. I have been restored to a sane life, my life today has become more manageable, for the most part. When I at last, came to AA, My drinking and druging career was coming to an end. I was ready to stop but, needed a direction or way to stop. So, here it was... The Truth. For me Step One is the most important step of them all... without a firm foundation all those other step won't save me in a sea of alcohol. kjoe
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Time: 11:45:33 AM
I want to thank Fareedah for sharing, cause that's where I am at. My disease has been talking to me a lot lately. I have been questioning my alcoholism because I've been wanting to drink. Cant' do it though, not unless I abandon God and AA. Recently broke up with someone, and am having a hard time dealing with it. Also having a hard time remembering the reasons I came crawling into these rooms 2 years ago. So I'm trying like crazy to sort out the mess in my head. Wisely I've been sharing these thoughts daily at meetings and with my sponsor. To be honest, I havent become totally re-convinced that the malady runs through my veins. I'm fighting like mad to hang on to this program though because my life is so much more manageable and sane compared to the way it was when I drank. Thanks for creating this outlet for us to share with one another.
Member: Brad M.
Time: 8:39:52 PM
Admitting that I am powerless wasn't easy at first.But after a short time around the tables I reluctantly did so.The unmanagable part seemed to sink in after listening to many people share of them selves.I still feel that if it was not for the first word of that step I would still be drunk today.WE is the most important part of that step for me because without the WE there is no me.I need the people of A.A. always,to help guide me and show me that life can be lived on its terms.
Location: Danbury, CT
Time: 9:15:12 PM
Jan B keep at it. I stopped numerous times for a week, thirty days, etc. Have now been sober for 8 1/2 years. Am very grateful for sobriety. I still need support, but am very grateful! I will pray that your time will be easier.
Member: Michael B.
Time: 10:40:13 PM
Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the fellowship. Thanks for the sincere shares. Welcome newcomers!
The biggest obstacle for me to overcome in admitting I was powerless over alcohol was my big ego.
It was only when I realized that I could not stay sober using my own personal resources that I realized and admitted I was powerless over alcohol, which, in turn, led me to seek help.
Member: Jenn P.
Location: Poconos, Pa
Time: 10:40:34 PM
Hello all. Jenn here - alcoholic. For me, the unmanageability was what drove me to AA. I had been ordered to attend one meeting 6 years earlier at my DUI, but I don't even know if I heard the steps. It did plant the seed though, and over those years i read alot about alcoholism, and kept trying to find a way to successfully drink. Only after I had tried every method I could think of to drink successfully, and then every method I could think of to stop on my own after I realized I couldn't drink, was I willing to come back to AA. I am hard headed. I always say it took me 20 years to take the first step, because i was never a moderate drinker from the beginning. Once I cam here of my own volition, driven by the pain of my alcoholic, unmanageable life, I ahve not doubted since I read the doctor's opinion that I am an alcoholic. It says I can have no reservations. At first I had some situations in mind in which I would have to drink. However most of those things have happened to me in sobriety, and I have not had to pick up a drink. Today I know that nothing is attached to my drinking. I can't drink no matter what. What a relief to have surrendered!!!! Thaks for letting me share.
Time: 3:33:49 AM
I'm Chuck, an alcoholic
When I came into AA there was 2 questions I had to answer; why did I drink and why did I get drunk? The reason I got drunk is that my body is allergic to alcohol. Once I put alcohol in my body a craving for more starts and increases with each drink. There is no cure for an allergy and I was, still am and always will be powerless over alcohol. I must not take that 1st drink.
The reason I took that 1st drink was to feel better. This is the wrong way to change feelings. The 12 step program is designed to change my feelings so that I no longer need alcohol as a medicine.
With a manageable life I feel happy, joyous and free. When I came I was worried, fearful and miserable. Therefore, my life was unmanageable.
Because my thinking was giving me all the wrong answers I was in insanity. All insanity means is that I have wrong thinking. Step 2 says I need to get right thinking and I can't do it myself.
Peace and Serenity
Member: MARK W.
Location: FT. WAYNE
Time: 10:00:03 AM
hello;alcoholic mark:the first step is admiting complete defeat.Iaccept the devastation of all my consequences in my life do to alcohol.the weakness I get from having that first taste has always become so powerfull that its uncontrolable and unstoppable,for me if i dont beleiveim powerless or that alcohol has 100% control over me and i always would go to any leighths to get that next drank if I put 1\2 of my effert into staying sober as Idid getting that drunk by doing the steps and working a honest program with myself and my sponser and pray to GOD to help this craving the obsession of a drank to releive me of mind.Tosurround me with hisguidance his will for me to give mestrength ,love acceptance that i will never be able to drank normal the rest of my life. the first step is a beginning of a new life just learning how to act while staying sober and to change my sick alcoholic mind.once I admit that i am in completely with out any control of my actions my behavior and contol of the amount and length of a drunk once I begin. this disease has left me with cerrossos of the liver pankers tdis and only one leg not to mintion the 100s of every thing else that this poison had turned me into and has taken and taken ect,ect, ect. VERYGRATFULL for that i do not need to suffer alone we can do what i cant GOD BLESS mark.
Time: 12:54:42 PM
Hi, My name is Frank and I am an alcoholic.
Walking into a meeting and saying these words was perhaps the hardest thing I had ever done.
BY saying I am an alcoholic I was saying I was not normal, that alcohol was controling me, I was not in charge of my own life.
I was also saying I didn't like my life anymore.
I know that with one drink, alcohol will take control again.
Today I choose not to drink.
Time: 12:55:08 PM
Time: 12:55:22 PM
Location: tucson, az
Time: 2:39:56 PM
Powerless, with 14 years I experience Powerlessness every day in life, when I first realized that I was Powerless over alcohol, is when I walked into a shelter and decided to get sober, and poured all the alcohol down the sink, then I precided to detox, the old fashioned way, hard core, no drugs, this rendered me completely powerless, too, it isnt easy having the shakes for a week. Today I remember what the true meaning of Powerlessness means and I am very grateful, life presents Powerlessness to me job, family, bills, people, places and things, but if I can get through the Powerlessness of acceptance of my alcoholism, I can face all the challanges of life on lifes terms.
Member: Kate S
Location: New York
Time: 9:08:25 PM
Kate here. Alcoholic. I was touched by Nathaniel's share. Easy to forget what brought us to our knees. When I get like that I have a mantra that helps me hang on: Alcohol separates me from my higher power and my new genuine freinds." Also, in a pinch I remember it's alot easier to stay sober than to GET sober. This last one really endeared itself to me: "I don't get hung up on whether I am or am not an alcy, I just know that the 'cure' works just fine." giggle. Remember to laugh and count your blessings. I am much better today after a good night's sleep. Signed, not hungry, less angry, alittle tired -- not lonely thanks to you all.
Member: Jack B
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Time: 3:12:46 AM
Hi, I am Jack, a real alcoholic. That is the single most important thing I know about myself, and accept on a daily basis. I have no choice when it comes to alcohol, as it tells us in the Big Book. The real alcoholic, we don't drink no matter what. Come Heaven, or Hell, good, bad or indifferent, we just don't drink. Alcohol mangled me, and I surrendered a long time ago. Thru the Grace of God and the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, I have enjoyed 14 + years of continous sobriety, and for that I am truly grateful. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless.
Time: 4:28:12 PM
This is my first time visting the site. I enjoyed reading everyone's stories, there are very inspirational. I hope everyone is doing well, keep up the great work
Time: 4:41:59 PM
Hi,I'm Carlo and I'm an alcoholic. I've been "around" AA since 1994, and I've probably been to about 200 meetings or so, but I still feel alienated when I go, even though I do relate to a lot of the things that people are saying. What I relate most to is how we alcoholics feel, and how we relate to the world. What I don't relate to is he blackouts, and some of the more harsh behavior that people talk about in meetings. It makes me feel separate once again, like I don't really belong. I guess the main thing is that I just don't feel like I belong, just like everywhere else.
So I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place. I've got enough of AA that I seem to be able to staydry for the most part(I was sober 2 yrs. and 9 mos. until a 6 week relapse up to new years eve.) I'm dry again now, and I KNOW I can't drink safely, and I accept that. So I know that I can't drink, and frankly I've gotten used to staying dry for long periods. The problem is that I'm not growing as a person, and it stinks just being dry. The more I'm convinced that I'm an alcoholic, the more my resistance or ego snaps back and says-ya but you don't need to go that far, see, your dry now,why don't you just try to be a good person and that should be enough. And then the next minute or day I'm saying-ya but your miserable and still full of fear, and the answers are right there in AA. But I don't feel I belong. And on it goes...thannx for listening, and I really appreciate this site.
Time: 11:34:42 PM
Hi I'm G an alcoholic and I am powerless daily I remember this and pray to my higher power to keep me safe sane and sober for today and at night thank him for his blessing of doing so. To Jan B it's a one day at a time program and to simplify the first 3 steps for me was I can't someone can and I am gonna let them. I live by that today and if you would like to chat my e-mail is at the bottom. Richard keep coming back and this is also my first time to this site and thank you all for letting me share. Grea105@cs.com
Location: sigh why die
Time: 3:37:18 PM
I've heard so much talk in AA about how alcohol brought them to their knees, I pray standing up....
Time: 6:54:09 PM
ALCOHOLISM ON WALL STREET!!
I thought it fitting to present this talk that takes a look at some of the realistic properties of the manic market average surges taking place lately on Wall Street. But first let me refer you to some words of a Wall Street Stock Broker in years past, that was later to be more well known for things of a related nature. He wrote, „the inviting maelstrom of Wall Street had me in its grip. Business and financial leaders were my heroes. Out of this alloy of drink and speculation, I commenced to forge the weapon that one day would turn in its flight like a boomerang and all but cut me to ribbons.š This man was later to be one of the founders of the organization by the name of Alcoholics Anonymous, commonly referred to as Bill W. Note his use of the word „speculation,š for in that word we see what these huge daily market surges, sometimes in hundreds of points, actually find their root in. On these days of super-market-madness when say the Dow-Jones or Nasdaq Average climbs hundreds of points, a careful examination will reveal that not one penny has been seen as a better profit margin for any of these rising stocks, but these hundreds of points might have been realized because of a merger that is in the works, or an announcement that the Fed is to lower interest rates, or something similar, yet the companies whose stock value increased is now more heavily indebted to its stockholders. Just on „speculationš alone they go on a manic binge, and increase the value of these „soaringš stocks, that are sometimes, but not always said to be „overvaluedš by Greenspan and company, and pile on more debt, (a stock is but an IOU!). Then they hope to find a middle course with the IRS, who they hate when looking at them from the company's profit side, but love when the IRS keeps their stockholders from cashing the stocks in, causing a huge sellout, and they could possibly be ruined by it! What is the logic to this madness, and how long can it last? There is absolutely no way to logically, philosophically, rationally or mathematically justify these manic-speculative stock-price increases!! It is indeed mischievous madness that will cut them ALL to ribbons in due time! Well, „of that day and hour no one knows!š Mt 24:36. In other words, if you have any trouble seeing this; if a stock is selling for say $32.00, and it rises $8.00 to $40.00, then, in proportionate calculation, there should have been an $8.00 increase in profits to balance out the issuer of the stock's certification that it is now worth $8.00 more to the holder of it. It is only when the stockholder cashes the stock in that the issuer has to realize this imbalance, and take a loss. But if the stock is not cashed in, the issuer doesn't have to concern himself with the increased value of the stock. And this is where the IRS steps in to discourage the stockholder from cashing in and paying hefty taxes on capital gains earned! So if the stock decreases in time back to $32.00 or so, which often happens, no loss or gain is made by either the stockholder or the issuer, but the IRS calculates on past gains of the stockholder, when it is time to collect taxes! An ingenious trap indeed for multitudes of foolish people trying to „get rich quick.š All this began rolling this way when they had to put the "cold war" on the shelf, and the Reagan Administration almost sent the nation to the „poor houseš with military cutbacks, and the resultant woe that hit the „death merchants.š Then George Bush reduced the interest rates that banks pay depositors to about 2%, which caused a stampede to the stock market for a better investment deal. (I don't know how past gains reflect on the stock issuer's taxes, but I imagine it is the same as the stockholder, as far as the IRS is concerned). So the big schemers keep on merging, and the small ones get the purging!! And the profit greedy speculators who are only interested in feeding their own devious lust for more and more riches, have all this madness down to a science that can only end in disaster! („∑deceitful balances are not Good,š Proverbs 20:23). This is all quite evident in the recent upsurge of debauchery on the Internet, where high-tech pornography is flooding e-mail users, with some of the most repulsive solicitations ever witnessed. („Treasures of wickedness profit nothing, but righteousness shall deliver from death!š). See Proverbs 10:2. But this fellow, Bill W. was pretty nearly cut to ribbons by all this when the depression hit back in those years that had no „safety valvesš for such things. He gradually increased his drinking to the chronic stages of a crippling state of alcoholism, got a message from an old friend who had found a way to stop drinking, and then with another Alcoholic by the name of Doctor Bob founded the organization called Alcoholics Anonymous. Commonly known as AA, this organization has a long history of helping many, many supposedly incurable Alcoholics from the horrors of compulsive drinking, and put them on a sound footing to pick up all the pieces, and try to put things back together again. And so, „the way of a fool is right in his own eyes; but one that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise!š Proverbs 12:15
(The above was written a long time ago!)
<<<<<<<<PASS IT ON>>>>>>>>
Member: vikki c
Time: 8:23:21 PM
My name is Vikki,and Im an alcohlic.at my first AA meeting i was relieved to hear that i could finally put a name to what was wrong with me.i identified immediatly,i'was an alcoholic and i was powerless over alcohol.Suddenly i realised i was no longer alone.that first meeting was truley a gift from my higher power.I finally belonged some where.Like yourself Carlo you do belong.AA tells us your only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking,that i gather is your reason for being in Aa.NO where in the big bk,does it say,you have to have a horror story to tell at meetings.yourstory is a bit of a horror.you couldnot stop at one drink.So please dont think you dont belong you DO. VIKKI
Member: Virginia D.
Time: 4:30:07 PM
Hi Everybody, Virginia here and I'm a real alcoholic...
Sorry, don't mean to preach just a contribution about Step 1 from "The Steps We Took" Joe McQ.
The first step is about surrender, the surrender in facing the truth.
One thing about this step is that it has to be taken 100 percent.
All the others can be done imperfectly at first and the program will still work, but the first step has to be taken 100 percent.
Father John Doe says that Step 1 is the only non-spiritual Step. WE HAVE TO MAKE IT ALONE.
The Bible says,"...ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. (John 8:32)
Happy, joyous and FREE today!
Location: sty why die
Time: 6:31:25 PM
I'm still trying to figure out, if its the yuppies that are so drawn to the home groups or is it the home groups that are so drawn to the yuppies?
Member: Tom A.
Location: Carlisle, AR
Time: 9:45:09 PM
Good Evening to everyone who has posted on this weeks Staying Cyber's Step and Tradition meeting. Tom A. here, a grateful sober alcoholic today by the grace of a wonderful Higher Power and this fellowship we call A.A. Like several have said, I believe that Step One is the only step we have to take 100% and it was suggested by my early sponsors to do this daily. At my first meeting one of the speakers said "that any damn fool can stay sober for twenty-four hours." So any day that Tom A. doesn't take a drink of alcohol he's sober. Admittedly, I still have those "dry drunk" days and the tools of the program help me through them. I like the saying that I have heard in this fellowship about who is the oldest member that member being the one who got up the earliest today and hasn't had a drink of alcohol. I took my last drink on July 25, 1960, but I am convinced that I am just a close to the next first drink as any of you are. So, I ask my Higher Power each morning to help me to stay sober today, then I do not take the first drink and thank my Higher Power each night for keeping me sober. I have enjoyed reading the posts. Thanks for being here. Love and prayers from an alky who cares.
God Bless - Tom A., firstname.lastname@example.org
Member: Lisa C
Time: 10:27:10 PM
Good Evening: I'm Lisa and and alcoholic. I've never been here before and I've enjoyed your comments. The first step was one of my easier ones (as I think I'm stuck at step 4...) Anyway, I knew when I came to AA that I was completely powerless over alcohol and my life had become so unmanagble that my mind and body suffered (not to mention all the people in my life). I thank God that I'm almost at my 6 months of sobriety mark. I could not have survived this demon thus far without him.
I loved that comment (I must use it): Love and prayers from an alkie who cares! Indeed!!
Member: Rich R
Time: 8:28:50 AM
Rich R, alcoholic.
The thing that I heard around the AA tables (halls) that really made step one simple for me is this...
I am NOT powerless over alcohol (UNLESS I pick up) and my life is NOT unmanageable (UNLESS I try to control it).
Member: Sam L.
Location: St. Louis, MO
Time: 11:36:11 AM
Step one was initially a very basic thing for me, but has grown to mean much more. Now, I know that I am powerless over life on life's terms, and my life is still as unmanageable (by me) now as it was when I last used and drank 7 years ago. Thank God I don't have to manage it, I let Him do it. I hope I continue to be willing tolet go. When I admit I don't have the answers, I am more ready to accept direction, help and God's love. Thanks to all for sharing.
Location: liverpool uk
Time: 2:57:00 PM
hi all,step one is so powerfull,for me,it lets me no that my life is out of my hands if i drink.my life was a misrey for years,i lost the will to live.today is a gift .ilove life,even the bad times are special,i will grow throue the pain.it will pass, but drink will take it all away from me, thak god for aa .
Member: Bob S.
Location: Salt Lake City
Time: 10:44:56 PM
Hi all, Bob alcoholic. "Admitted WE were powerless over alcohol": Doesn't say me, says we. That's turning the m in me upside down, like alcohol did to my life. I've done so many inventories on myself that it is not possible to deny my alcoholISM. It's easy to look for the differences, that's just the disease in action. That's just the alcoholic hiding behind the ego and fear of taking full responsibility. That's easy...a no-brainer. If I do an honest inventory of my alcoholism, my behavior and attitudes while drinking, accurately admitting all the harm done to all the people who suffered because of my self-obsessed, self-centered selfishness while drinking, suddenly there appears all this evidence of alcohol running me and my life, and ruining the lives of OTHERS. The second part of the first step is the beginning of all the rest of the stuff about me (our) that needs to be changed, little by little, day by day....and with the help of G~d, this fellowship (you), anything is possible, even changing me into a useful member of society. Alcohol is more powerful than me when it's in me. No question. I think its offensive to know me as I am with alcohol in me, and refuse to do EVERYTHING possible to change. No excuses. Anything else is living a lie and I can't stay sober feeling the feelings of living a lie. I used to go to meetings and COMPARE...and come out better than "them". That's the lie. I now go to meetings to listen to our stories, some similar, some very different, and learn what I can to help me recover. That's my responsibility. By the grace of G~d and this fellowship I have been given a new lease on life, not something I EARNED. It's a gift. I am grateful. Bob
Member: rem n
Time: 8:20:13 AM
hi anon alkie here,read comments.KEEP IT SIMPLE.
Time: 10:44:56 AM
I am powerless. When I learned this, is when I started making a conscience effort to stop. My Higher Power, however, is myself! I don't depend on a God to manage that which I cannot. I try to mange my life, one day at a time, knowing how impossible it seems sober, is nothing compared to impossiblity and destruction that drinking would cause. I recall all the trouble, pain, and destruction I cause when I drink, and I make it a point not to drink TODAY!