Member: sonia and cat
Location: uk
Date: 5/20/01
Time: 9:31:28 AM

Comments

Hello world

WHAT DEFECTS, I DONT HAVE ANY DEFECTS ITS THE REST OF THE THEM. IF THEY WOULD JUST LEAVE ME ALONE I WOULD BE OK.

Thats how it would of looked two years ago, today not only can i see that i have defects I can accept them. I can see that i am normal.

I dont like the word defects and i do truly wish that it hadnt been written that way. I didnt want to have defects. I am human, and sometimes i am just a bit more human than the rest of them. So I when i have a bit of chin wag with my HP, i ask him to help me remove the part of self that is hurting me, that is causeing me problems. And i work on them, to the best of my ability.

big job though.

me.sonia@ntlworld.com


Member: Donnie M (DOS 3-1-99)
Location: W.Va.
Date: 5/20/01
Time: 10:01:19 AM

Comments

Hi, to all and THANK`S SONIA YOU SAID IT PERFECT JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!! AND LET ME DRINK. These defect`s had to be removed or I would`nt be here today and I am gratful for this step because I surly would have been dead by now, so thank`s to all and GOD BLESS.


Member: Toni H
Location: Chicago
Date: 5/20/01
Time: 11:09:45 AM

Comments

Hi Toni H alcoholic wilingness we most have in order to work this one but the trick is keeping them in check for years to come one way is by going to meeting and hearing and working with the newcomer so we don't forget.Thanks i'll keep coming back !!


Member: Sue J
Location: So Calif.
Date: 5/20/01
Time: 11:25:31 AM

Comments

Hello Sue Alcoholic Funny this should be the topic this week, my most extreme defect of character (I handle my own problems) has been rearing it's ugly head the last few weeks. But the best part of this is that I truly have to practice my AA Program skills to keep this all in check. It works magic when I do it right. *Stay in touch with my HP (Ask, for help) *Stay in touch with program people , sponsor and make my meetings whether I feel like it or not. *Stay out of self Have I done parts 1&2 of this. Can I call some one else and not talk about my problem. If I am going over the problem that that I have adequetly prepared for and gave to God, for the 400th time, then I didn't give it to him. In conclusion I am pleased to say I came into this program with no character defects and by associating with everyone I now have many to work on. Thanks for letting me share Sue


Member: Tim F.
Location: Japan
Date: 5/20/01
Time: 1:05:02 PM

Comments

Hi, everyone

Went to the Kyoto meeting today, and was the only one there, so I worked on the form to update the phone list, and stayed the full hour. Was up all night the night before working on the computer, so had to crash after teaching my afternoon lesson, and now I can't get back to sleep (it's 2 a.m. here--too late to call anyone!) so I feel like sharing. I didn't have ANY character defects that alcohol couldn't wash away, but when my whole life started to go down the tubes, I finally realized I was hurting myself (not to mention a lot of other people). I've been stuck on the fourth step for about five months now, maybe partly because I know that after I write all this out and share it with my sponsor, I will need to sincerely ask my Higher Power to help me DO something about all these defects that were driving me to stay drunk. But like this step says, it's just a matter of being WILLING to have them removed, as opposed to tightly clinging to them, to my own destruction. It won't be easy, but I have to believe that when the time comes, I'll get the help I need to do it. Thanks for letting me share today.


Member: hector
Location:
Date: 5/20/01
Time: 2:52:31 PM

Comments

Anything that is counterproductive to love is a defect. Anything counterproductive to honesty is dishonest. Shortcomings are a thing you didn't do that you should have done. A defect is a thing you did that you shouldn't have done. (Paul K.)


Member: Mimi N.
Location: New Jersey
Date: 5/21/01
Time: 1:03:53 AM

Comments

This is my celebration month. Funny how it never ceases to amaze me that the topic is exactly what I need to hear/think about...even online & I've never been to an online meeting before. My experience, strength and hope is that a defect of character is negative aspect and a shortcoming is acting out on that defect. On step 6 I became willing to have HP remove all character defects, but on 7 I became humble enough to realize that if HP removed all my defects I would be superhuman...instead I humbly ask HP to remove my acting out on my defects. This I must do more often than I'd like. So 6 helps me realize what is a defect and what is an assest. Thanks


Member: rachel
Location: frederick
Date: 5/21/01
Time: 8:04:31 AM

Comments

Everyday (when I'm working my program) I ask God for the willingness to do his will. I have seen that when I let go ...good things happen and indeed God does run my life better than my will! So having seen how well this works I've started to not hold onto my defects as tightly. For a time in my life my character defects proberbly saved it. Now I pray for the willingness to let go of these defects. Believe me only a little at a time. When I let go my life does get better. I see it works so each day I have more courage to let go of more defects. In my sobriety God hasn't failed me yet. Thanks, Rachel


Member: AnilG
Location: Mt Vernon,IL
Date: 5/21/01
Time: 8:58:21 AM

Comments

I am an alcoholic ones I had accepted te fact that I have a problem that i lied about my drinking hiding bottles everywhere in the house so that if somebody finds one bottle or i forget where i had stashed it I will always find another one. I had no respect for the rights of others and frequetly infiringed upon them. Had little respect for others it has to be my way or no way.Forgot my responsibilties/duty until I joined AA and connected with my higher power learnt about my insanity of drinking where it was taking me towards distruction now i pray that my higher power gives me the courage to change.Thanks to AA and its members


Member: Gary B.
Location: Akron, OH
Date: 5/21/01
Time: 9:47:45 AM

Comments

I was raised in AA on the Four Absolutes. Love, Honesty, Purity & Unselfishness. When I got here I had none of those qualities. Once I began working the Steps, I realized how my Character was lacking ini these areas. I wanted to give up my character defects in order to replace them with worthy attributes. These things had to be removed in order to start living right. Don't do it half-way. You'll only get half the benefit. Love to you all


Member: baker
Location: canada
Date: 5/21/01
Time: 1:07:49 PM

Comments

Good morning Again, I like to simplify my program.I can`t remove my defects of character.only my higher power can. when I am strong enough to let them go,I will never be perfect,but I can strive for perfection. I will be away for awhile so goodbye and God bless.


Member: Cindy M
Location: Virginia
Date: 5/21/01
Time: 2:53:03 PM

Comments

Cindy C. I am an Alcoholic...I needed to say that. I've been away from the program and I needed to remind myself how good it feels to be honest with myself. I stopped working on my defects but they usually come up and bite me when I allow myself to stop going to meetings, reading my Big Book and live inside my head. Working the steps;is the best way I've found to purge yourself of my defects. Believing in my HP. and staying in contact with my sponsor. Anytime I stop doing these things(I start thinking that I'm cured),I usually find myself right back to being my own selfish , dishonest, lying , cheating self. More miserable than before. THanks for letting me Share


Member: Lori T.
Location: Miami, Fla.
Date: 5/21/01
Time: 3:10:58 PM

Comments

Hello my name is Lori and I am an Alcoholic, Step 6 : Because of God's Grace the steps come back and are working me. I don't always have to be comfortable. I am willing. I just need to accept that I am not perfect about it. Learning to live with me and love me. Perhaps its time to come out of hinding and be free. I just came from seeing my Dad. I will use every excuse not to see him and every character defect flares up. I think I'll keep it simple and just show up and listen. P.S. I Love you Dad. Thanks, Lori


Member: William.A.
Location: High-Point
Date: 5/21/01
Time: 6:47:45 PM

Comments

William .A.Alkie.

I want to get better so I must do something to help my situatiion along,if I can make an effort to work this program I will get better this I have proved to myself as well as to those around me. The songwriter spoke these words we fall down but we get up.WE--WE--WE--WE get up not I but WE get up .so if I become ready to have the drinking and thinking problem lifted from me then we will get better. Question can I remove one single defect of chaaracter---- from myself wwwithout the help of some one with experience. I think not. But GOD could and would if he were sought.


Member: DB
Location: KC
Date: 5/21/01
Time: 11:08:03 PM

Comments

we are human and that gives us things to work on improving our consious contact with God. Progress in love because there is no way we will ever have perfect love as the Father has for us. Let Go


Member: Bob M
Location: Mississippi
Date: 5/22/01
Time: 2:27:42 AM

Comments

I think the 12 & 12 says that this is the step which seperates adults from children. It took me _years__ to come to grips with this step. I've been sober since 1983 and my friends Richard recently told me - in a fit of honesty - that I needed to revisit it. In a letter to a friend Bill W mentioned the emotional maturity that arises from "becoming willing" to let go of our shortcomings. I really didn't understand how fond of mine I had become until I realized I had to change. This step is very difficult and makes steps 4 and five seem child's play by comparison. Grateful to be sober...


Member: CeCe R.
Location:
Date: 5/22/01
Time: 7:07:05 AM

Comments

Great topic. Through this program I've become aware of my character defects. I find that I'm still clinging tightly to a few of them. I'm coming up on my 90 days and sometimes find myself asking my higher power to be patient with me. I know that I need to ask for his help dealing with a certain defect but am just not ready yet. Grateful that my higher power continues to work in my life and slowly gives me the desire to let go of these defects in his time.


Member: Debbie M.
Location: Toronto
Date: 5/22/01
Time: 2:37:35 PM

Comments

While saying my evening prayers, I ask God to remove my defects of character. I do this while taking my daily personal inventory. It is important for me to review my day, checking to see if I have attempted to be the very best person I can be that day. It is not enough for me to simply ask God to remove my defects. I must work on them as well by identifying them as they arise and asking God to help me do a better job tomorrow.


Member: B. Bell
Location: Reno, Nevada
Date: 5/22/01
Time: 3:46:51 PM

Comments

Good Morning, My name is Bonnie and I am an Alcoholic. The steps to me is a process of 12 making one. In other words we need every one of them to survive and without one the program wouldn't work, at least as well as it does. I found out who I was, that here could be a power smarter then me, and decided to let him help me. Then I made a list of what happened in my life and told him and another person. Now in this step I was ready for him to help me with my defects. After doing the steps I found out that most of my defects I could do very little about by myself. No matter how hard I worked at it they still remained. It's sometimes hard for us to see ourselves as others see us, let alone know ourselves, so when I let god help life is much, much easier.


Member: MARGE R
Location:
Date: 5/22/01
Time: 5:54:52 PM

Comments

STEP FOUR. MAKE SURE YOU DO STEP 5 SOON AFTER YOU DO STEP 4. IF YOU DON'T HAVE A BIG BOOK GET ONE AND READ AND DO WHAT IT TELLS YOU TO DO.


Member: MARGE R
Location:
Date: 5/22/01
Time: 6:24:28 PM

Comments

STEP FOUR. MAKE SURE YOU DO STEP 5 SOON AFTER YOU DO STEP 4. IF YOU DON'T HAVE A BIG BOOK GET ONE AND READ AND DO WHAT IT TELLS YOU TO DO.


Member: MARGE R
Location:
Date: 5/22/01
Time: 6:24:46 PM

Comments

STEP FOUR. MAKE SURE YOU DO STEP 5 SOON AFTER YOU DO STEP 4. IF YOU DON'T HAVE A BIG BOOK GET ONE AND READ AND DO WHAT IT TELLS YOU TO DO.


Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 5/22/01
Time: 11:14:53 PM

Comments

Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome newcomers! Thanks for the sincere shares!

When I came to Step 6 for the first time, I had just finished my 5th Step with my sponsor. At that time, I was willing to do anything AA asked, because I was still feeling the effects of the merciless beating I had taken at the hands of the demon alcohol.

As I continued to stay sober, I must admit that there have been many times when I was clearly less ready to have God remove my defects of character than when I first took the Step with my sponsor, so I focused, instead, on not picking up the first drink and continuing to ask daily for God to remove my defects of character.

In any case, old habits are definitely hard to break, but I have found that the above-mentioned formula works well in God's time. Now, when I am ready to deal with a defect of character, God gives me opportunities to confront and challenge the defect rather than interminably avoid it due to my own fears.


Member: Jack B
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Date: 5/23/01
Time: 2:27:17 AM

Comments

Hi I am Jack a real alcoholic.Step six and step seven for me are the meat and potatoes of the program.In step four,we look at ourselves, step five we talk about ourselves to God and another human being. Now we are at step six, I need to ask myself okay Jack what are you going to do about it?Am I ready to take a stand, am I ready for change, am I ready to say no when saying yes would be so much easier, am I ready to have some vaules?If I cannot make this commitment,then I am not ready for step six. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless.


Member: Rick, L  
Location: Walton, KY
Date: 5/23/01
Time: 10:14:31 AM

Comments

With out a good fourth step, a fifth comes along real easy.


Member: MARGE R
Location:
Date: 5/23/01
Time: 2:09:22 PM

Comments

IF THIS IS A SIMPLE PROGRAM WHY AM I FINDING IT SO HARD? WOULD APPRECIATE SOME HELP ON THIS. THANKS


Member: Paul Q
Location: Toronto
Date: 5/24/01
Time: 7:17:29 AM

Comments

As soon as my eyelids open in the morning I must come to GOD for the removal of "SELF" I must die of self! Only GOD has the power to help me be willing. The lier that tells me to act them out must be wiped out. Born a SINNER and living in the flesh has caused me great pain in my life. To die of self takes a long time, but I'm always willing and that is the key.


Member: kathy
Location: ohio
Date: 5/24/01
Time: 10:09:22 AM

Comments

kathy alcoholic, just wanted to thank everyone for thier input. seems i've gotten away from meetings and boy do my defects come out. i've been sober long enough to know if i do what i learned and was told in the first thirty days life would be grand. truth be told ,i'm grate- ful for the struggles i face in the program as it keeps me in check and practicing the program and conected with my h.p. thanks again kathy


Member: Howard H
Location: Here
Date: 5/24/01
Time: 12:39:05 PM

Comments

Hi,

I am Howard, and I am an alcoholic.

After finishing step 5, I went on to step 6. I read the step, and then proceeded to attempt to remove my character defects. I worked very hard on this for three years, and nothing happened. I didn't remove even one character defect.

Then I went back and read the step again, and discovered that it didn't say one word about Howard removing any character defects. So I started over, letting God do his job, and things have worked much better. I still have character defects, but they are better now.

howardhe@aol.com

(I always leave my e mail address because I welcome mail from members.)


Member: Joe L.
Location: Phila., PA - USA
Date: 5/24/01
Time: 1:46:26 PM

Comments

Hello All; I've been around a few twenty-four hours, and I wish I could say I was through with this step, but I am not. Defects of character are relentless, while I'm working on one, another one creeps up. I'm so glad my sponsor says the only one I have to work perfect is the first one, and also for me - "not to take myself so serious." I want to thank all of you for being here and hope you have a great weekend. For MARGE R - Marge, People do't give much feedback here or the discussion board either, only the coffee pot.


Member: PhilS
Location: The Beautiful South
Date: 5/24/01
Time: 6:54:31 PM

Comments

If I remember aright, the 12+12 book specifically addresses the Step 6 problem many experience. As a natural born perfectionist, my first instinct is feel that I have failed at being willing to have my character defects removed because I still have so many. I think the 12+12 talks about the willingness to have them removed SOMETIME and not saying "never". It recognises that most people (well, everyone except the saints) may not be able to let go of every single one of them immediately. Seems to me that the willingness never to say never is what we need for our recovery rather than necessarily losing our defects NOW. Sooner or later, pain will come from those defects but we can continue in our recovery. And isn't that why we're in the programme? When the pain is bad enough maybe we will be able to move from being willing to actually doing the letting go. Come to think of it, pain will also come from the disillusionment and feeling of failure that will come from expecting ourselves to let go of all of them right now.


Member: jose
Location:
Date: 5/24/01
Time: 9:16:47 PM

Comments

weiners.........i have a big one


Member: Martha G.
Location: MA.
Date: 5/25/01
Time: 10:58:58 AM

Comments

Hi everybody, I've been dealing with the question of character defects today. I know I have some but which ones have caused me to be the brunt of some cruel gossip I do not know. I am passionate about my higher power and sobriety so sometimes come across like I am preaching. Help.


Member: Jane G.
Location: Mt. Vernon
Date: 5/25/01
Time: 1:23:58 PM

Comments

Ready and all seem to be the operative words in this step. To be ready implies that some preparation (a fourth and fifth) step has been done, and all means, well.. ALL. It has been my honest observation over my 6 yrs of sobriety that none of us are willing to give up all our character defects. Most of us have relied on these defects as a foundation for our personalities and modus operandi. Working with a higher power to actually conciously have these purged from our being leaves us in the unkown, and requires a faith stronger than I ofen see lived in the lives of most AAs. In this program, it is very easy to talk the talk. People who really walk the walk stand out like gems. The rest are often just background noise. However, I'm grateful to every alcoholic I meet for his/her contributions to MY sobriety.


Member: Joe L.
Location: Phila,PA. - USA
Date: 5/25/01
Time: 1:25:03 PM

Comments

Dear Martha; I'll try to be as brief as possible. I don't think being passionate about the Higher Power and your sobriety are character defects. They are very good things, and quite frankly, I envy you. I know it hurts when you think everyone is on the same page, or you say something to help and get your hand bit. It's especially tough when it's your home group. Things are very wierd at my home group right now and I think it's me. I even said it at the meeting the other night, and people blew me off, but I'll see. Sometimes, all you can is wait. I think you're on the right track and my sponsor saya "A problem shared is a problem halved."" Thanks for Sharing - Joe L.


Member: RayP
Location: DenCo
Date: 5/25/01
Time: 4:55:29 PM

Comments

Hi everybody..I'm Ray alcoholic....just wanted to share on this step..early on I identified with two religious men that as far as I know had no problem with alcohol..but they sure were aware of steps 6 and 7....St. Paul...Lord why is it the things I want to do, I don't, and the ones I don't, I do.......and St. Augustine....Lord relieve me of the bondage of lust...but not yet!!!!perhaps this is known as trudging.....keep keeping on...may God Bless us all.......RayP


Member: yea
Location:
Date: 5/25/01
Time: 9:47:19 PM

Comments

masterbate


Member: rodriguez
Location: wetback city
Date: 5/25/01
Time: 11:19:13 PM

Comments

better yet,lets get naked and hop in the sack a spell


Member: sister blister
Location:
Date: 5/26/01
Time: 12:00:58 AM

Comments

you boys stop that


Member: Shevy
Location: Nort Hampton
Date: 5/26/01
Time: 3:28:14 PM

Comments


Member: Shevy
Location: North Hamton
Date: 5/26/01
Time: 3:34:22 PM

Comments

This is my first time in this web site and by me readind all you guys comments its helpped me alot you know know I am sober for another day in my life I really dont know what to write im just writting what I fell. I havent found mmmy higer power but I guess Im praying and Its helpping me with alot of the woy I feal about AA angd my cravings. But any ways thanks again for your support in this web sit ill come visit it more often...


Member: Mike B.
Location: los angeles ca usa
Date: 5/26/01
Time: 9:46:28 PM

Comments

It was so good to read and hear some old familiar things. Things I had forgotten. Things that at one time had me free. Thank you all. I have two days sober and am still hiding in the house. wow May be cyber but I feel like I made a meeting. Especially the stuff of not embracing your problems and letting HP have them and he will provide and take care of one. Till next time... See yu round the corner :)


Member: Redneck Zeke
Location: Around!!
Date: 5/27/01
Time: 4:28:26 PM

Comments

<b><i>Step Six; Yes Indeed, here it is!!

<p>Chapter 1- 2) In making an end I will destroy all sin from the earth declareth Yahweh. 3) I will destroy human and beast, I will destroy (the demons of) the heaven‚s cover and the sea‚s increase, yea the stumbling-blocks of the lawless, and will cut off the sin of humankind from the earth declareth Yahweh!! 4) Therefore will I stretch out my hand___ against the celebrated (people), and against all those dwelling upon Jerusalem,___ and will cut off out of this exaltation the name of lord, the name of the idolaters with the ministers; 5) and them who bow down upon the housetops to the (demon) host of the heavens; indeed of those who bow down swearing as to Yahweh but who (actually) swear with the king of idolatry; 6) yea them who turn away from following Yahweh,___ and have neither sought Yahweh nor inquired about Him. 7) Hush! At the watching of my Lord Yahweh,___ for near is the day of Yahweh, for Yahweh hath prepared His sacrifice, hath hallowed His called ones. 8) And it shall be brought to pass in the day of Yahweh‚s sacrifice that I will punish the rulers and the children of the king (of idolatry), and all such as are clothed with foreign apparel; 9) and I will punish every one who leapeth over the threshold (of Yahweh‚s House) in that day,___ those who fill the house of their lords with violence and deceit. 10) And there shall be in that day declareth Yahweh, the noise of an outcry from the city squirming, and of a howling because of the repetition (i.e., the third and last destruction of earthly Jerusalem as was prophesied in Eze 21:27; Ps 80:5;Mt 23:37-39;Lu 21:20; etc.),___ and of a great crashing from the hills ! 11) Howl ye dwellers upon the quarreling waters, because cut off are the merchant people, destroyed are all they who are laden with silver (or money)!! 12) And it shall be brought to pass at that time, that I will search through (mine anointed‚s heavenly) Jerusalem with lamps (see Eze 9:1-11),___ and will punish those who are settled upon their dregs of wine, who are saying in their heart Yahweh will not give blessing, neither will He send calamity. 13) Therefore shall their goods wax to a booty, and their houses a desolation,___ they shall even build houses and not inhabit them, and plant vineyards but not drink the wine thereof! 14) Brief is the great day of Yahweh, brief and exceedingly intelligent („because the Lord will perform a brief work upon the earth,š Rom 9:28, with „the Wisdom from above,š Jas 3:17,18),___ the noise of the day of Yahweh, a strong one___ there!___ (the satan) bitterly crying out!! 15) A day of indignation___ that day! A day of danger and distress, a day of devastation and ruin, a day of misery and misfortune, a day of cloud and gloom, 16) a day of horn and war-shout,___ against the fortified cities, and against the high towers. 17) Yea I will bring distress upon mankind, and they shall walk like them who are blind, because against Yahweh have they sinned,___ so their blood shall be poured out as dust, and their bowels like dung. 18) Neither their silver (or money) nor yet their gold shall be able to deliver them in the day of the indignation of Yahweh (see Eze 7:19), for in the fire of His jealousy shall the whole earth be consumed; for a destruction, surely a terrible one will He make with all those who dwell upon the earth (that is, those not seeking the things high above, Col 3:2, but depending on the earth, man and those things for help).</i></b></p><br><br>