Member: NAP
Location: CA
Date: 1/10/00
Time: 3:06:45 AM

Comments

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps...it takes all of them to get here. I am talking about the positive feelings life has to offer. It's great to be here, it was and is a long slow process. It takes daily maintenance. we tried to carry the message to alcoholics... to me means that if the alcoholic rejects you let go the key word is tried and to practice these principles in all our affairs... this is walking the talk.


Member: JCP   ^\^
Location: Penn's Woods
Date: 1/10/00
Time: 7:52:50 AM

Comments

"In the longer run we clearly realize that these are only the pains of growing up, and nothing but good can come from them if we turn more and more to the Twelve Steps."--12&12, p. 111.

J here, a grateful alcoholic: I felt bewildered on Step 12 about "Where am I?" Already had done major "12th-Stepping" (compared to any I do now), even visiting a big clanking old state pen, although we met off a courtyard, not in the cellblocks.

So, after a year of trudging up to Step 12, I "awakened" on Step 2! Not that I objected--I felt relieved. (Step 2 is "Came to believe." We'll be back there in a couple weeks.)

Don't get me wrong, it was an awakening and still is. I had never even KNOWN anyone to get sober before I came to A.A. There never has been any reasonable doubt that I owed it all to my HIGHER POWER through A.A. All I had to do was open the door and let them in.

dixyflier@usa.net


Member: Rod B
Location: NE.
Date: 1/10/00
Time: 10:00:40 AM

Comments

My name is Rod, a grateful recovering alcoholic sober today the the grace of God and the Fellowship of AA. I must admit when I first began attending AA I had a feeling that this "spiritual awakening" was a long way off for me. Little did I realize that because of AA, its steps and traditions, my spiritual awakening developed as I worked through the steps on a daily basis and attemted to practice the principals in my daily affairs. It took along time for me to realize that AA is an action based program. I need to walk the walk one day at a time. Thanks for letting me share and for being there for me.


Member: Joanna
Location: NW
Date: 1/10/00
Time: 11:47:09 AM

Comments

Joanna-Alcoholic, I really enjoy step 12, it is such a great tool. When I try to practice the principles in all my affairs it keeps me in the Sunlight of the Spirit, for I am in a constant reminder state of the new way I live my life now. I am grateful I had a spiritual experence early on, I have felt sobriety fits me like nothing ever has, I was searching all my life for what AA has offered me. I sometimes don't understand it, yet I am always ready to pass the message on. You can not pass on what you have not got, I always try to remember that when I work with someone, only my experince, strength and hope, and what was taught to me, thats all I have. God has been good to me dispite my dramatic attempts to mess things up. I feel honored that I have a past, a story and sobriety to share. Today I want an attitude of gratitude, not self. Take it easy and have a great sober day. Joanna


Member: Sam J
Location: Southeast
Date: 1/10/00
Time: 12:58:39 PM

Comments

Hi: I'm an alcoholic and the name is Sam. This step is very important, as is the other 11, in that it is the way we reach other alcoholics and by which AA grows. However, in my case, I had to wait till I had something before I could give it away. After a few months of sobriety I tried to sponsor a fellow. I worked with him for about two years. He kept getting drunk about every 6 or 8 weeks. I finally moved away from that area and the fellow sobered up and has about 20 years of sobriety now. He helped me far more than I helped him. He taught me that I can't keep anyone but myself sober.


Member: Laila L
Location: Turku Finland
Date: 1/10/00
Time: 4:25:40 PM

Comments

Hi everyone,I'm Laila and I'm an alcoholic. Thanks to the Program and all the Steps I am who I am today. Spiritual awakening..In the beginning I was waiting for a burning bush or flashlight from above or something like that..:) Now I realize I have a spiritual awakening every sober day of my life. I notice/realize something new every day, it helps me grow. and I thank God,as I understand Him, every day for that. I've carried the message, but the person didn't want it. I stayed sober despite that the person drank again, and is still drinking. I'm sober today, and have plans to be sober tomorrow as well. that's spiritual awakening for me! Thank you for this wonderful day! love Laila


Member: BOB H.
Location: South Bend,IN.
Date: 1/10/00
Time: 8:26:32 PM

Comments

Hi everyone I"m BOb Alcoholic spiritual awakening for me today means so many things but mostly that i haven"t had to take a drink pop pills smoke a joint or any mind altering substance in a long time to me now through the grace of God and the program one day at a time thank you for letting me share.


Member: robert j
Location: sunporch
Date: 1/10/00
Time: 8:56:40 PM

Comments

The first part of my spirit awakening was when I realized what was wrong with me...I was an alcoholic, next I came to understand that I did'nt have to drink anymore...I received hope.

Man do I remember that! For the next 9 months I struggled with the steps, went to alot of meetings, read the Big Book and the 12x12 and half-heartedly used a sponsor...slowly I was starting to feel better about myself.

I then got asked to chair a meeting in a county jail, I was scared shitless, but had respect for the person that asked and did not think she would steer me wrong.

Thats when this 35 year old's spirit caught fire...I was giving back, instead of taking. I have come to see that carrying the message and working the maitenance steps on a daily basis keeps my fire lit...I still go to meetings, I have a library of AA literature, I still carry our message to the still suffering alcoholic, Sobriety comes first in my life because without it I have no life,take care.


Member: mari       r
Location: ohio
Date: 1/11/00
Time: 12:19:06 AM

Comments

hi everyone my sponsor taught me that spiritual awakenings are like little warm fuzzies-at times different things become so clear to me -to me these are spiritual awakenings-it is a really neat feeling-it is a thank-you god moment-it is really neat to have those moments of clarity-god bless you all marimari


Member: Dean S
Location: Phoenix,  Az
Date: 1/11/00
Time: 2:11:45 AM

Comments

Hi! I'm Dean and I'm an alcoholic. The book ,Alcoholics Anonymous tells us --- that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail.

My first twelfth step call was with my sponsor when I had about three days of dryness. The guy we called on did drink again that same day. We did not. It works!!!

I have been blessed with not only a spiritual awakening, but with a spiritual experience. Since that time I have tried to practice these principles in all my affairs, and it is to that, that I give credit for my success in career matters. Life has taken on a new meaning (as it says it will) and I am grateful to God as I understand Him for this simple program of recovery. Let's all carry the message of love, hope and sobriety to all who still suffer. It says we can help when no one else can. Let's do it.

Thanks for letting me share in this meeting. I'll keep comin' around.


Member: JACK B.
Location: CUMBOLA PA.
Date: 1/11/00
Time: 3:41:56 AM

Comments

Hi I am Jack and I am a real alcoholic.Step twelve for me as far as the spiritual awakening goes is the realization that God does for me what I cannot do for myself in all my affairs. The only message that I believe the alcoholic carries to another alcoholic is the message of hope.Simply put take my hand and step where we have stepped. Practicing the principles in all our affairs is as was stated by another alcoholics sharing walking the walk as opposed to just talking the talk.Thru these principles we lear to live our way into sober thinking as opposed to thinking our way into sober living. God Bless All in this miraculous journey.


Member: heather m.
Location: wellfleet
Date: 1/11/00
Time: 4:08:36 AM

Comments

hi i am heather and i am an alcoholic. people helping people with gods help wow.


Member: Bonnie Z.
Location: PA, USA
Date: 1/11/00
Time: 6:21:59 AM

Comments

Hi, Bonnie here, alcoholic.

I'm only going to simply state something I read a while ago, I think it was at this site. It said, "While you are waiting for the lightning bolt, you might miss the kid with the flashlight".

Love, Bonnie


Member: Don H
Location: Franklin Park, NJ
Date: 1/11/00
Time: 12:33:32 PM

Comments

I am always amazed that when I am at a meeting where people are discussing the Promises, that rarely does anyone mention what, to me, is the greatest promise that is to be found in the Big Book. The first part of the twelfth step is this promise. The step tells me that I will have a spiritual awakening as a result of living my life according to the principles contained in the twelve steps.

As a result of practicing these steps,it has not been necessary for me to take a drink of alcohol, or to lie and steal, or to live in fear and shame, or to destroy everything or everyone I cared about since May 26, 1986. My spirit which was dead at the end of my drinking has been restored.


Member: Don H
Location: Franklin Park, NJ
Date: 1/11/00
Time: 12:33:34 PM

Comments

I am always amazed that when I am at a meeting where people are discussing the Promises, that rarely does anyone mention what, to me, is the greatest promise that is to be found in the Big Book. The first part of the twelfth step is this promise. The step tells me that I will have a spiritual awakening as a result of living my life according to the principles contained in the twelve steps.

As a result of practicing these steps,it has not been necessary for me to take a drink of alcohol, or to lie and steal, or to live in fear and shame, or to destroy everything or everyone I cared about since May 26, 1986. My spirit which was dead at the end of my drinking has been restored.


Member: kevinm
Location: iv,fl
Date: 1/11/00
Time: 2:38:47 PM

Comments

kevin alkie, was truly blessed for before knowing anything about aa, i was given a spiritual experience close to Bill's, what a gift! but that was only the beginning not the end. Although I am grateful for that I know that alone will not keep me sober. For this alkie, when everything is going upside down in life, praying is not working, meetings are not helping, sponcer is no relief, I know that trying to help someone else is the only thing that seems to help when my ass is on fire. " Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others,to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends--this is an experience you must not miss." pg.89 bb. Thanks for letting me share,God bless you all who are trudging!!


Member: Von
Location: OH
Date: 1/11/00
Time: 3:02:01 PM

Comments

Von Here, alcoholic. The last few days have been proof to me of a spiritual awakening, because where before I was blind to everything especially my HP, my disease, and the value of others in my life, today, I see my HP working in all parts of my life. It started last Thursday night when I checked out the movie "Bill W" and watched it. It wasn't the type of movie I would have liked in the past (I am a mystery, cops n robbers, action flick junkie), but I was mesmerized and developing a goosebump sensation as well as a new awareness and appreciation of what it took to get AA started. So I'm waiting because in sobriety I have learned to not only pray, but wait for my HP to guide me. Sure enough, Friday after a meeting, a woman accosted me and wanted to talk. Since it was my only day off since before Thanksgiving, I was tempted to give her my number and do the proverbial "give me a call, let's talk" spiel. Then I looked up at the sky and had a momentary conversation with my HP. It went like this "Oh please God, don't do this to me! I planned to go to the bank, the store, the post office, etc...", but then the image of Bill W and Ebee sitting at that kitchen table crowded my mind, and I knew what I had to do. So off we went to this lady's house. Ended up spending the entire afternoon talking to her about the definition of alcoholism and what it means to be an alcoholic. I was amazed by what you all have taught me in the past year. I was thrilled by my conviction that my disease was the best thing that had ever happened to me. At some point, about 5 hours later, I used her restroom. When I came out, she had a freshly popped beer out and was pouring it into a cup. Then my HP showed me the depth of insanity I used to have and how sick we really are when we come into the rooms. Her comment was, "Here's what I'll do. I'll have a 12 pack tonight, then tomorrow I'll have 5, then 4, then 3, then 2, then 1, then maybe you and I can start this AA thing next week!"

I was crushed. But not because I had "failed", but because I finally understood that when we 12 step people, we are to "CARRY THE MESSAGE, NOT THE ALCOHOLIC". I became more aware of what it means to "ADMIT UTTER DEFEAT". I grasped onto a new awareness of "POWERLESS". Mostly, I entered a new dimension of humility, because I was overcome with the feeling that the only reason I was sober today, that I had chosen to stay in the rooms, that it wasn't me trying to control my disease, was because of my Higher Power. His strength and His power, and my reliance on Him is what keeps me sober today. Because this disease is so "CUNNING, BAFFLING, AND POWERFUL", when we are drinking, we don't see the utter insanity of our thoughts, the complete nonense of our reasoning.

So she is still qualifying, but I'm sober today.

"Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps", means that only through the 12 steps done thoroughly, done honestly, and incorporated into my daily life, can I evolve into the person I am meant to become. Simply going to meetings won't do it. But I also need to pray, read the BB, work with my sponsor, and always help another alcoholic.

To end the story, her partner came in at some point and said, "Tell her!!! Tell her how you got this will power thing, because she sure doesn't have any!!!". I looked at him and the words that came out of my mouth were spiritual, HP given, and fully for me to grow in the experience.

I said, "I am sober today only because I have no willpower against alcohol."

Enough said. I thank God for all of you. I thank Him for this program of Alcoholics Anonymous. I thank him for giving me the strength and power to stay sober yet another day. It's a daily reprieve. There but for the Grace of God, Go I.


Member: Mary J
Location: Seattle
Date: 1/11/00
Time: 9:54:01 PM

Comments

Hi,

I'm Mary and an alcoholic. I don't think it is by accident that this is the 12th and final step. I think I needed to go through all the steps at least once and then some more to really understand this step.

This step doesn't mean your preachy, it just means that you are there for someone who is in the same or similar situation you were when you decided that you were helpless over alcohol.

It also means that we practice what we preach. We are not holier than anyone else.

I need to dwell on this step and the ramifications of this step more often than I like to admit.


Member: Bones
Location: RI USA
Date: 1/12/00
Time: 2:05:39 AM

Comments

Bones here, alcoholic. ((Von)), I've just been here a month, fell off once, but with the help and love and understanding of my higher power, and with your help and the help of many others, climbed back on. Can't say that I have any experience with the 12th step, but wanted to thank you for your very real help. Your post tonight was amazing. I know that you sincerely wish to be an instrument of hope, in the spirit of the 12th as written. I am here to say that you are an in-tune instrument. Your careful, egoless sharing is encouraging, that is, gives me courage. In fact, I am actually excited about the process of doing these steps. I thank my Creator that you are there. Thank you. A grateful friend,

Bones


Member: ELSA
Location: Algarve
Date: 1/12/00
Time: 2:28:43 AM

Comments

that«s a very important "STEP" for me ,I don«t need anymore to feel like an allien in my small group down southwest europe.you know,having a spiritual awakening,is also learning not to be complacive,but understand the ones who steel didn't have it,but by the other hand,they still are unable to understand you."humble" realy comes in then,but naturally as if I allways have been it.That«s a beautifful feelling for me,an alcoholic,that,if I«m not awak of it,can bring my "EGO" into action,thinking I'm more perfect than the others,and bringing me down all steps into drinking again.How many BIG PEOPLE in A.A is drinking again? Beeing Human,with all defects of caracter added to it,and beeing an Allcoholic with my allcoholic MIND,is far to much for a person alone. I«m a simple person,Small person,don't have big aspirations,and I want to keep it JUST FOR TODAY.


Member: Tim V
Location: Poconos, PA
Date: 1/12/00
Time: 12:31:18 PM

Comments

To me 12 step work is a natural manifestation of the spiritual awakening. Not something that requires much effort, but much willingness to get there.

I also think that one can be helpful in carrying the message sober or drunk, but that is not the same as the 12th step.

This step is about spirituality and daily behavior, not telling someone, ãyou are a drunkä or saying ãdon't drink and go to meetingsä. Those are definitely not "the message", though they may help someone to the message.

I also think that the only way to carry the message is to continue to search for it. As soon as I think I "know", my ego interferes and the message is lost.

Blessings.


Member: RANDY"THE ALKY"G.
Location: PENETANGUISHENE
Date: 1/12/00
Time: 10:19:08 PM

Comments

I REALL HAVE ENJOYED WHAT I HAVE READ ON THE 12TH STEP. IT IS A STEP THAT REALLY LETS US LIVE AS A NORMAL MAN AMONG MEN( OR WOMAN AMONGST WOMEN).BUT FOR THIS ALCOHOLIC IT SAVED MY LIFE,LITERALLY. I HA DBEEN AROUND THE FELLOWSHIP AND DOING MY BEST WITH THE STEPS AND ALL. ONE DAY A CO-WORKER WHO KNEW I DIDN'T DRINK PHONED ME WHEN HE WAS BLOTTO AND HAD ME BRING HIM TO A.A.,WHICH I DID.I ALSO INTRODUCED HIM AROUND AND SUCH.THIS WAS IN FEBRUARY OF THE YEAR. BY MARCH OF THE SAME YEAR I HAD TOOK UP DRUNK YET AGAIN,AT 342 DAYS OF SOBRIETY. IHAD SLIPPED YET AGAIN AND WAS NEVER GOING TO COME BACK. THIS FELLA I HAD 12 STEPPED HAD STAYED SOBER AND HE WAS INSTRUMENTAL IN BRINGING ME BACK INTO THE FELLOWSHIP.I AM A FAIRLY LARGE MAN AND HAVE BEEN SAID TO INTIMIDATE OTHERS BUT HE HAS ABOUT 9 OR 10 INCHES ON ME AND ABOUT 75 POUNDS.HE LITTERALLY DRAGGED ME BY THE SCRUFF OF THE NECK INTO MY MEETING AND SAT ME DOWN WITH MY SPONSOR WHO IS ABOUT HTE SAME SIZE AS MY FRIEND. TODAY MY FRIEND HAS 11 YEARS THIS FEB.,AND I HAVE 11 IN MARCH.MY SPONSOR HAS 26 THIS SEPT. IF ANYONE EVER ASKS YOU TO HELP IT JUST MAY SAVE YOUR LIFE.IT IS THE MOST SELFISH ACT YOU CAN DO. SAVE SOMEONES LIFE TURNS OUT TO SAVE YOURS TOO. THANKS FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO SHARE ANOTHER 24HRS TO YOU ALL


Member: KATHY D
Location: MTL QUE
Date: 1/13/00
Time: 9:39:59 AM

Comments

HI EVERYONE! I have to say that sometimes I feel like a real hypocrit, while I know in my heart and deep in my soul where only I can reside , I have GOD because I found A.A or A.A found me. I believe everything happens for a reason. Yet, when I read the steps and try to apply them something in my brain turns off. Is it defiance? is it a lack of depth ? or I have no fear in accepting the blame for my actions in my life and have always been open to others . but still I have not done the steps to the best of my ability .

However, I am happy to say that each and evry promise has come true in my life.

only by the GRACE of GOD....


Member: Tom A.
Location: Carlisle, AR
Date: 1/13/00
Time: 2:15:47 PM

Comments

My name is Tom AA., a grateful sober alcoholic today by the grace of a wonderful Higher Power and this fellowship we call A.A.

I try not to complicate this program and I am not one who took the steps in 1, 2 3, etc. order, but then again I believe that we never fully complete these steps. If we stay around new insights will be revealed. The first part of Step 12 says "Having had a spiritual awakening as the results of these step," and I have had many in this fellowship. The very first one happened my first night when I responded to the words that were shared at my first AA meeting. Standing at the bar of the Victory Cafe, my old watering hole, I ordered a budweiser and the waitress didn't hear that order, but I heard those ten words uttered by that AA speaker. "any damn fool can stay sober for twenty-four hours." The journey in sobriety began that night my first spiritual awakening for I changed my order to a Seven-Up and have not found it necessary to take that first drink one-day-at-a-time since that night July 25, 1960. The second part of the 12th Step says, "we tried to carry this message to alcoholic's." You have taught me that if I expect to keep this gift I must try to give it away and anytime I've done this it has helped me more than the other person. Posting on this site is a good example of this in action. The third part of the 12th Step says, "and to practice these principles in all of our affairs." This again is a daily job and it does get better. The mottes "Let Go and Let God, Live and Let Live, and Easy Does It" have really helped me in this area of my recovery. I'm not perfect at it, but I am getting better.

A special thanks to all who share from week to week on this 12 & 12 meeting. I for one feel that they provide a real solid foundation for sobriety that is reasonably a happy way of life.

I love all of you from the bottom of my heart.

Enjoy Your Sobirety Today!

God Bless - Tom A. ate@gte.net


Member: Roy S.
Location:
Date: 1/13/00
Time: 9:47:36 PM

Comments

While my recovery has been going more better than worse lately, I know that I can greatly improve on this step. There are always opportunities that present themselves to carry the message to others or to lead by example. Too many times I let these opportunities slip by without doing what I could. This is one of the steps that I am trying to focus on the most in my current stage, and I hope with everyone's help I will be able to do just that. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Caroline
Location: Texas
Date: 1/14/00
Time: 4:05:15 PM

Comments

Hi Everyone! "Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps......." I am once again reminded to not put the cart before the horse. When I was drinking, if I knew I had to drink 6 drinks to start feeling better about myself, I would do it. I would do it, even if it meant losing friends, jobs........you get the idea. Sobriety has been the same way for me. Half measures avail me nothing. I had to be willing to do every single step exacltly as asked. Just like drinking only 3 drinks would not work when I was drinking, doing only the first 5 steps will not give me enough. For me, I was only able to deal with the truth about me, by doing steps 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, and 11. Sure, I could give a newcomer a piece of hope, but not a complete solution. I have a complete solution - to any problem that faces me, because the way I look at lifes challenges IS THE PROBLEM!!!!! When I forget that the steps got me to a place of living in the "12 Promises", it is because I have stopped taking a personal inventory, and have started taking yours, or his, or hers. What a blessing and gift this program is. I finally have solutions and answers - to pass along to others! One Day At A Time - Caroline


Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 1/14/00
Time: 8:19:07 PM

Comments

Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic, sober today only by the grace of God and the Fellowship. Welocme to those contemplating Step 12 for the first time! And thanks everyone for sharing!

One of the beauties of my spiritual awakening is that the "4th dimension" is available to me each day, even if I don't do a particularly good job of practicing the principles of the program. That's unconditional love to me, something I think very few people have ever possessed.

Thanks to my Higher Power, then, I have been granted the opportunity to stay sober so that, at least, I have the opportunity to carry the message and to practice the principles in all my affairs. My obsession never let me do that.


Member: Avril G
Location: Northampton UK
Date: 1/15/00
Time: 4:21:36 AM

Comments

The Big Book (page 569)Tells us that ".....the personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism has manifested itself among us in many different forms....."

SO, no blinding flashes of light or psychic images for this alkie...NO way, I think if this had been MY experience of a spiritual awakening, I would still be running!!! My personality change is not yet complete, I believe, since every day of my life, I hear/see/learn something new, and who do I get this from mostly?? NEWCOMERS, either on 12-step calls, prison service, telephone helpline, in meetings, here in cyberspace...etc....etc...

I remember sharing once in an early meeting that I had been on many 12-step calls, none of which were successful, as no-one stayed around who I had been to 12-step. A lovely lady and old-timer told me afterwards, "And did YOU drink too, Avril?" when I told her "No, I never" she said, "Well then I reckon EVERY ONE of your 12-step calls was a success"

The promises state, "We will be amazed before we are half way through" Well, I am amazed every day I awake, with clear head, no gaping hole in my life, full of fear, shame, remorse, and all other negative feelings/emotions which used to crowd my day.And I am nowhere NEAR half-way through. I drank for 23yrs, and sober for almost ten, so I have barely scraped the surface of sobriety, yet the rewards (Promises) are happening for me each and every day. Each day is a new beginning for me, and it never ceases to amaze me what I learn in each day. I love being sober. I love the programme, and the fellowship of AA which gave me a life, a God, and many, many wonderful friends in recovery. Thank you all for being here for me.

avril.goodall@dtn.ntl.com


Member: MARY K
Location: BOSTON
Date: 1/15/00
Time: 9:19:14 AM

Comments

Hi all! Mary, alcoholic.

To me a spiritual awakening can take many forms - what may be a spiritual awakening to me may not appear to be one to you. I was told there are as many, if not more, varieties of spiritual awakenings as there are varieties of drunks. All are equally important. The big ones as well as the daily itty-bitty-miracles (IBM's).

As for carrying the message - ditto to the varieties. I was told that I may be the only copy of the Big Book a person ever sees. Wow! Heavy responsibility.

Practice these principles in all our affairs: to me is exactly what it says. Keeping in mind PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION !!!!!

Love to all - God bless - Mary.