Member: bradj
Location: slc
Date: November 02, 2003
Time: 05:10 AM
i am brad i am alcoholic. s0ber since.july 4 2003. new to computers bear with me please. look for a friend to talk to.heather told me about this site .
Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: November 02, 2003
Time: 07:58 AM
It was important for me to understand the grave and hopeless nature of my disease before I was willing to do any of the work that was required for me to have sobriety. One of my early sponsors asked "was I willing to go to any length?". At that time I knew in my heart I wasn't and I drank one more time. That one was the worst and damn near killed me, but it brought me to a state of total willingness. Today I often face situations which require me to change my attitude, something my ego does not do well, LOL, but in return I get a Peace I could never have imagined. The steps have given me a life today. I pray others do not have to fall as far as I did, before the willingness comes.
Member: Christie
Location: Pennsylvania
Date: November 02, 2003
Time: 08:45 AM
Craig - Thanks for posting your comment. I am just starting out, and am not doing well. A few weeks ago, I was SO willing, so committed. And after a few weeks of sobriety, I started to believe (again) that I could drink in moderation. So stupid. Why do I keep drinking? I realize that I just need to go to meetings, and really really need to get a sponsor. I can't do it alone. When I read your comment, and about the Peace that you have, it is so encouraging. Thanks for sharing.
Member: Bob S.
Location:
Date: November 02, 2003
Time: 10:09 AM
I'm willing to quit drinking if I dont have to do the steps again,the last time I quit drinking I starte dthe steps and bythe time I got thru step 4 I felt so damn guilty I went out and got sauced just to feel better and then I started on step 5 and by the time I got to step 9 I was so depressed again that I drank again to get over the guilt that dredging up the past caused me.This time I have been drink free for 9 years and I am willing to stay quit as long as I dont have to beat myself up with pity and guilt and being shamed.
Member: Mike H.
Location: Jackson Michigan
Date: November 02, 2003
Time: 12:26 PM
In my recovery I have found that I was always willing to go to any lengths to stay sober. The part that always trips me up is the action required to do this. I can be willing to work the steps but until I actually do the work nothing gets better. I can be willing to change the places I hang out and the people that I'm with but until I actually do nothing has changed. Reminds me of the term "faith without works is dead".
Member: Ann
Location: CA
Date: November 02, 2003
Time: 01:16 PM
The steps are not about guilt although the inventory and amends for our past can get us stuck there. I have been stuck there also and when I am, I feel overwhelmed. The steps as tough as they seem are about taking an honest look at our life and what drinking has done to it. As alcoholics we are so good a lying to ourselves that is we are OK when we drink. The step and looking honestly at our life when we were drinking is intended to help us make a better choice about drinking today. But AA is also about healing because we see ourselves in others. We are not alone. Our guilt for the way we behaved drunk is not unique to us. Others have it. Others despite a sordid past with alcohol have quit and changed their lives. I belive the whole Higher Power thing in AA is a way to assist us out of the dark hole of our past. It is about believing in a God of grace. Grace defined means “undeserved love.” The cool this is this, grace is a common theme in all religous beliefs regardless of how you name your Higher Power. And grace is there for us for the asking, sordid past or not. And there IS a Higher Power or a God out there that dishes this grace out, if we open our hearts to it. Grace has healed me. Accepting it is about letting go of that past, which enables us to build on each new moment of sobriety. So if the steps get you stuck in shame and blame, you are getting stuck in a dark place you are not meant to be roaming around in. Acknowledge as honestly as you can what alcohol did to your life and then move on. You have already been forgiven by God or your HP. Now forgive yourself! Nothing will change yesterday. Only your choice to stay sober today will change today. So deal with today, then build on your successful choice for today.. Heal as the alcohol leaves its dominion over your brain and feel the grace! It will come to you. It came to me!
Member:
Location:
Date: November 02, 2003
Time: 11:48 PM
its not easy for me
Member: Deeanna
Location: T. OK
Date: November 03, 2003
Time: 12:33 AM
Hi every one... My sobriety date is 10\22\03 I am starting over after a 9 mo. relapse after 7 1/2 years in AA. I am out of detox, and staying with family...I could not stay on the "water wagon" very long, and I understand more and more that I am powerless over alcohol, and my life is unmanageable...The beginners mtgs. at my home group are great, and we study the Dr.'s Opinion a lot, and we stay in the first three steps...I do a lot of praying to God, and when frustrated, I call a sober member of AA, and my sponsor...This mtg. is the first mtg. I've had since before detox, on the 22 of Oct...I pray that all who read my comment may have lasting sobriety as they trudge the road of happy destiny...Thanks everyone for the opportunity to share with you...Good luck to you all, and God Bless!
Member: dcj
Location: nyc
Date: November 03, 2003
Time: 12:41 AM
do you really think this is easy for any of us.....being sober is a lot easier than... let's say being hung over every day, in jail, loosinig your family, killing someone in a dwi , paralized in a wheelchair from drinking, does THAT wonderful feeling still come to you when you drink, does a drink or 20 make it easier, i am 35 and may not live to see tommorow it is one day at a time
Member: xxx
Location: xxx
Date: November 03, 2003
Time: 12:42 AM
xxx
Member: petersen
Location: washington
Date: November 03, 2003
Time: 12:48 AM
in early sobriety- the best thing a person can do is - go to as many meetings - face to face as you can squeeze in, dont drink between meetings. come early (15 min) stay late(15 min)talk to others. get a big book-the basic textbook for alcoholics annoymous and read it. find a person you feel comfortable talking to or listening to @ meetings, hang out and talk with them. i have been in for 2 yrs+ and my favorite thing to do is make a newcomer feel part of. I try to approach them if they dont approach me. because i need to remember what it was like to be where they are- if i forget i am sure to end up "out there, running w/ wolves again". new people keep me sober. it tells me that this disease does not get better- only worse. we who have made it even past a few days who really want to stay sober- need you at meetings- helping you helps us. don't quit before the miracle happens. thankyou to everyone here for another happy piece of sobriety in my day.
Member: Ann
Location: Ohio
Date: November 03, 2003
Time: 06:07 AM
32 days... and a wonderful 32. It's great to see all the new people posting this week. This site has kept me sober and happy for a wonderful month, and I hope it helps you also. Here's to another sober 24.
Member: william
Location: austin, tx
Date: November 03, 2003
Time: 08:55 AM
When I consider the time & effort I put into drinking and enduring or speeding through hangovers(!), the program looks pretty easy. As my sponsor used to say when I'd call him whilst weepy & drunk, "Maybe you just haven't felt enough pain to stop drinking." I hated those words but they make sense now. I have to ask myself every morning, "am I willing to go to any lengths for sobriety, or am I going to be apply half--measures, getting the results I've always gotten: relapsing again & again. It's day 26. I've been working on my 4th step and it's not bringing up any guilt or remorse, it's revealing mental hijinks (denial & arrogance, esp.) and patterns that I can work on in the future. Getting just a little "momentum" in sobriety and a lot of grace, I'm more willing than ever to pursue this 24-hours.
Member: Chris H
Location: WI
Date: November 03, 2003
Time: 10:32 AM
Member: Chris H
Location: WI
Date: November 03, 2003
Time: 10:36 AM
Hi my name is Chris i'm an alcoholic and addict.I've been sober since 9/18/03 and its been a rollercoaster ride that is for sure, but one thing i can say is that life is much better now.Without the people of AA i would not be here today, that i believe.ONe day at a time is a very big slogan for me.If i think too far ahead i get very distracted.I thought there was no hope for me and now am finding that there is.It took a pretty tragic event to get me into AA, but i thank god for that or i may not be here.To all newcomers who are struggling, i got this far and that is truly a miracle in itself, so hang in there.
Member: big bill
Location: west kingston RI
Date: November 03, 2003
Time: 10:51 AM
hi all: will someone please explain to me what a sponser is and does.i'm starting over and need some advice? how do you get one??
Member: Deb
Location: WI
Date: November 03, 2003
Time: 11:59 AM
Deb, recovering alcoholic, For me willingness was about being willing to examing my whole life and then be willing to make different choices. I had to be willing to consider the possibility that I did not have all the answers and that I had more in common with those I met at meetings than I had differences. (Big Bill) for me finding a sponsor was listening at meeting and when I saw something I wanted in another person I asked them to be my sponsor. For me this was a big change, it helped me to learn to trust. I had questions and issues that I didn't care to share in a meeeting and this one to one relationship enable me to start to trust myself. Congrats to all on another 24 hours sober. My sobriety date in July 1985 and if I can lend email support please feel free to email me Deblh@sobercity.com
Member: Amanda C
Location: Atlanta, GA
Date: November 03, 2003
Time: 12:56 PM
Amanda, Alcoholic, hello everyone. I am not new to the idea of recovery, but I am new in the program. This is my 3rd time around. I am having great difficulty trying to convince myself that I can NOT moderate my drinking. Bob S.- guilt gets me everytime. Guilt influences my relapses, and guilt also helps me to step back in. But, I don't know how long I can handle this in, out, in, out bull shit. I certainly can't help myself. I hope you all can help. Thank you for letting me share.
Member:
Location:
Date: November 03, 2003
Time: 01:39 PM
Willingness. WOW! When I came into the program of AA the first time I had 3 years. Then I decided that I okay. I came to find out very quickly that I was not okay. It was very hard for me to go back to meetings. What I now relize is that I need AA and I am willing to do what ever it takes. I hated it out there it is true what the big states that you back to where you came from very quickly, well for me that's how it was. I only have 6 months now. I was told I will always have the 3 years, because I know what the program of AA is. I just take it one day at a time. When something is bothering me it is not so hard to call my sponser anymore, the phone doesn't way a ton. I find my life much better these days. I was told that maybe that's what I needed was to go back out. All I now is that AA has saved my life. I also see outside help. I relize my prombles are not just the drinking but life in general. I love AA I don't know what I would have done if the door didn't swing both ways.
Member: Lisa
Location: FL
Date: November 03, 2003
Time: 01:54 PM
Hi everyone, Shakes got to bad for me on Friday, couldn't stand it, decided to have a couple of glasses of wine. After that I have been good. I guess I am on Day number 3 now. Buzzsaw-just sent you an e-mail hoping you could give me some tips on how to help my body get through this. I can't believe I am actually having withdrawals. My new guy has created a list of things that we can do that doesn't involve alcohol to help me. He is really sweet. I thought it was cute. So we are really going to try and get through this weekend and make my first week sober in a very long time. I am really happy to have him. Good luck to everyone to another 24 hours sober
Member: Donna
Location: LA
Date: November 03, 2003
Time: 02:42 PM
Hi, Donna..alcoholic/addict. I have 2 weeks tomorrow and yes, it feels so good to be clear headed. Withdrawls from the opiades is tough. Willingness to just make another hour with God controlling things is a relief. I know I cannot quit before the miracle happens. Faith is so difficult for me and the 2 are intertwined. Any suggestions for how to have faith..without faith, I feel I am doomed!! Anyone else get that feeling? Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Ed
Location: VA
Date: November 03, 2003
Time: 03:00 PM
Donna - Af book that is helping me if "God is for the Alcoholic" by Jerry Dunn. I think it was written in the 60s, but I'd bet it's still available on the internet. I found it in a used book store.
Member: toddc
Location: indy
Date: November 03, 2003
Time: 03:23 PM
I am an alcoholic just released from self imposed rehab today..I have been to a couple of meetings over the weekend and am ready to get back to one tonight before my spirit gives in. I am looking both to help give as well as receive much needed support to finally stop my addiction.
Member: Joel
Location: Wi
Date: November 03, 2003
Time: 05:24 PM
Donna, looks like you have faith in the program right? Or you wouldn't be trying it right? That looks like a start to me! "This too shall pass" is an AA slogan that seems appropriate for withdrawal. I had 3 years in before I really developed a solid concept of my HP, so be patient. I helps me today in knowing that I only have control over my next action (do the next right thing) and that God controls the results. Prayer never hurts either...
Member: KathyD
Location: So Cal
Date: November 03, 2003
Time: 05:49 PM
Well I was told by someone that if i pick up again it is because I am not really ready or willing to stop. I dont get that. I am scared and desparate and really want to stop but then I do it anyway when I cant take how I am feeling anymore. I really dont know what to think. I will try again today. TODD- it is great that you took yourself to rehab and are reaching out now. Live meetings would seem to be the best place to get lots of support. I know you may be thinking why is this woman with 1 day sobriety telling me how it works...well I was sober for 2, 2 year stints. When I was going to meetings and with AA people I did great. WHen I withdraw or stop meetings I slowly slip back into this disease. Take care all. I will just keep posting my status here as this is the only place I am telling the truth right now.
Member: Miranda
Location: Vermont, USA
Date: November 03, 2003
Time: 08:20 PM
Willingness... Well I had to have willingness to go to the first meeting and I guess I must have had some because I went. It was easier for me than it must be for some because I was taken to that first meeting by my brother, I don't think I would have gone on my own. Then I had to have the willingness to keep going to meetings and I did have that. I absolutely hated that first meeting and I hated AA meetings for quite a while but I knew somehow that going would help me quit drinking so I kept going. I had to have the willingness to listen to things that I thought were ridiculous. I had to have the willingness to do things that I thought were just plain silly. I did them because people at the meetings said these things would help me to stay stopped. I saw that these things worked for them so I was willing to do those things. I had to have the willingness to walk into an AA meeting even though I was afraid someone would see me walking in there, or I would meet someone I knew. That happens and I found out it wasn't so bad either way. Yes, the first time someone at work saw me walking into the local AA clubhouse on my lunch break I was afraid. Guess what? They were approving. Yes the first time I met someone I knew at an AA meeting it was a shock. Guess what? They were there for the same reason I was. I had to have the willingness to pass the liquor store on the way home and not go in. Yes, sometimes it was wicked hard. Sometimes I actually cried driving by. But I was willing..
Member: Debi B
Location: Florida
Date: November 03, 2003
Time: 10:10 PM
I haven't posted in a while. Today is my 1 month anniversary sober. It seemed that in the first few weeks that it was very easy to stay away from a drink. However, this week has been a tough one. Alot of stuff going on at home I guess. My 18 year old decided to move out. My 10 year old is getting ready to have surgery for a bone tumor in his leg next week. And I have a 3 year old that needs her mommy. Now I know what your thinking...a drink should be the last thing on my mind. However, I keep catching myself having a little pity party for Debi. I have to stop, think, and get my ass to a meeting as fast as possible the past 2 or 3 days . I feel like I need to get a sponser and start working these steps before I fail. On the other hand I know that the next few weeks I am going to be very busy with my son..do I need that add pressure right now? I am so confused...so for now I have been getting to a meeting as often as possible. Giving my problems to God. And above all else not taking the first drink. Thank You for listening....Debi B Alcoholic One Day At A Time For Me!
Member: Brian B
Location: Thailand.
Date: November 03, 2003
Time: 10:40 PM
To the newcomers, willingness is one of the 3 elements of 'How' it works; Honesty, Openmindedness and willingness. In my opinion, (and it is just my opinion) this 'HOW' is related to the first step very closely. In that respect, I think it has to be in place before the rest of the steps are taken on board. If the first step is not fully accepted, the rest of the steps are taken only superficially. My view is, that many who slip and slide, have not got step 1 firmly grasped. It's no use going on a search for God, making amends, taking moral inventories unless the total, overwhelming fact of 'powerlessness over alcohol' is accepted in totality. Just a thought from an old fart. See thee, Brian.
Member: toddc
Location: indy
Date: November 03, 2003
Time: 11:08 PM
KathyD ...thanks for your words of support..I have managed thru another 24 and am still holding up..I have already figured out when the next meeting is that I know I need to be at tommorrow morning. 1 day at a time
Member: eric q
Location: wi
Date: November 04, 2003
Time: 01:49 AM
Hi, new to the program I just cant stop drinking. I'm even bored with drinking. Chatting with me will only make you want you to drink more. Tough situation. How do you give somebody "get it". As in get it that life has so much more to offer, than being drunk.
Member: JK
Location: NJ
Date: November 04, 2003
Time: 03:05 AM
DEBI B, Your children need you. Dont drink now. Thats an order. ERIC Q, It would take alot more than chatting with you to make me drink. Want to get it? No you dont. If your bored get a hobby. If you cant stop drinking get to a live meeting. Dont want to? Than keep comming back here. We will be here for you either way.
Member: Jeff A.
Location: Western Pa.
Date: November 04, 2003
Time: 04:10 AM
Hi everyone; I haven't been to a real live meeting yet, but know I have a problem with alcohol. The love of my life is moving on because of it. It's too late for me to do anything about her and I'm devastated. I hope you all can be of help. I'm going to attend my first meeting this week and am praying for a miracle in my life. Stay well and be happy.
Member: Ann
Location: Ohio
Date: November 04, 2003
Time: 06:33 AM
34 days here, and I can't tell you how much reading all of your posts helps me stay sober. Reading about what I used to be like on a daily basis keeps me very grounded. This site is for all of us who seriously want to get sober and believe that AA is a big part of it! For those of you who use this site as a chat room, that isn't helping anyone, including yourself. We are all here to help each other. We ask for help from people who have been where we are and have succeded in getting thru it one day at a time. I listened and did everything that you all suggested for me from day 1, and because of you, I have stayed sober for longer than I have ever been able to. I go to meetings, I got a sponsor, and I'm reading the books. I have seen regular posts here from people who every 2 or 3 days write that they fell off the wagon for some excuse or another. They have ignored everything that has been told to them by people who have stayed sober for alot of years. I know, because I have been reading the posts. I actually now know when to expect that "oh I fell off the wagon again" post. They think they know more than the people that have actually been where they are before and have come out of it a happier and better person. And they still think that all is well. If you truly want to stop, you are at the right place. If you don't have the desire, then this isn't the place. I will always be there for anyone who wants to truly get sober, as I do and I do understand a slip up once in a while. As was posted earlier, start with that first step (Brian B). Here's to another sober 24 to everyone.. one day at a time.
Member: toddc
Location: indy
Date: November 04, 2003
Time: 06:43 AM
I'm into day 4 now and okay so far this morning. Did not sleep well last night and expect a rough day, but already know when and where the morning meetings are at so I can be there. Must keep taking one day at a time and let the rest take care of itself. If others can do it I have faith that I can too.
Member: Lisa
Location: FL
Date: November 04, 2003
Time: 08:56 AM
Hi everyone, made it to Day 4. Exercised last night. Trying to start jogging. My lungs feel like they are going to explode when I do, but little by little it is getting easier. Thanks buzzsaw for the information! I am starting this program today, hope it helps, the night sweats and shaking are still happening. Its scary. I think its scary enough to not want to drink ever again!
Member: William
Location: Austin, TX
Date: November 04, 2003
Time: 09:44 AM
Once I became willing to go to any lengths to pursue sobriety, things started improving. Willingness to stop drinking & screwing up, to stop feeling like crap & being a pain in the ass, means to me pursuing sobriety by working the steps, seeking contact with a higher power, seeking fellowship, and trying to be of service (which means any number of things, a meeting topic in itself). My relationships didn't magically reconcile and debts still exist but most things are improving quickly simply because I'm working in a positive direction, not acting like the self-serving, angry shmuck I'd become. People notice these changes. I've got hope for the future again, by living this program 24-hours at a time--that's a time period I can handle, even if it means hanging out at meetings for hours at a time--better than drinking, right? I'm willing to skip some short-term gratification (ie. temptation) for longer lasting happiness.
Member: Cec H
Location: Stampede City
Date: November 04, 2003
Time: 09:56 AM
Hi all Cec H alkie here. big bill, a sponcer is somebody, who's sobrity you like ,that's worked the steps and is willing to show you how he did it. The steps that is. Bob s, get a grip, I'll match you horror story for horror story. It's me and I owen them and have learnt to deal with them thru the steps. When I came in to the program the last time around, I was willing to do anything so I wouldn't drink. And believe me, I did alot of weird shit so I wouldn't drink. Like mopping floors at 7/11 @ 3 am, even thoe I didn't work there. But it wasn't untill I was sober 18 months or so that I developed willingness. What I mean by that is, I became ready to accept what sobrity had to offer both good and bad. And to give cheerfully of myself to those around me. Another 24 to go please and have one for yourself
Member: big bill
Location: west kingston, RI
Date: November 04, 2003
Time: 11:01 AM
to all: thanks for all the info. about sponsers. amanda c.i must have quit smoking 50 times before i quit for good. i used to tell myself "don't quit quiting".i'm doing that now with alcohol.don't throw in towel,keep trying and sooner or latter it will happen.hang in there.
Member: Mark N
Location: Mi
Date: November 04, 2003
Time: 11:54 AM
I dont know if anyone is really going to read this,but thats ok.I just quit drinking on Halloween night and it got to the point I was sick of it.When it gets to the point you dont remember how you got hurt the night before then something needs to be done.I dont know what to expect now.I really dont have a lot of freinds much less have anyone to talk to.Thanks
Member: Joel
Location: Wi
Date: November 04, 2003
Time: 12:57 PM
Good for you Mark...I've found both friends and people to talk to/with at AA meetings. Nothing like a group of drunks helping each other stay sober and learn how to live life without alcohol...
Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: November 04, 2003
Time: 01:59 PM
((Willingness)) is what finally got me sober. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I wanted help and was willing do do whatever I was told to do. I had to take the first step and pick up the 100 pound phone and call a rehab. I listened to what they told me as they detoxified my body from alcohol. I followed their instructions to the letter. I was so overwhelmed all I could do was sit and listen for a while. I stayed quiet for 3 months and just listened. When they asked me to speak I was scared but I did it because I was told to never say no when asked. I still can't believe the honesty that came out of my mouth. It felt like a boulder had been lifted off my chest. It continues to get better. My first time in AA I did not have the willingness to follow the simple program. I did the bare minimum and stayed inside my shell. I never gave up my will at all. I wanted a magic bullet and to get AA by osmosis. Of course I failed but the seed was planted in my mind that when I was ready the program would still be there. For me there could be no recovery as long as I hung onto my will. My will would have me drink. When I was ready to surrender and that is just what it felt like, I was able to get help. In Step 3 in the 12x12 they explain the model as follows: > Once we have placed the key of willingness in the lock and have the door ever so slightly open, we find we can always open it somemore. Though self-will may slam it shut again, as it frequently does, it will always respond the moment we again pick up the key of willingness.> I just thought I would share this with everyone because it rang true for me. Just by coming here and reading and posting you are being willing. GodBless. Kelly :)
Member: mark m
Location: columbia tn(from detroit)
Date: November 04, 2003
Time: 03:13 PM
good you you mark n where do you live in MI i have friends around MI maybe one of them can help you if not keep comming back
Member: Monica V.
Location:
Date: November 04, 2003
Time: 05:16 PM
Everything that everyone needs to know before they become involved in our wonderful program.This way you will know what is going on and you will never be in the dark.Just click below for the information that will help you more than any sponsor ever will. http://aorange1.tripod.com/
Member: Joe P
Location: Chicago
Date: November 04, 2003
Time: 05:38 PM
Willingness is a key quality for change, and not drinking is a big change for the alcoholic. First I needed willingness to understand what my real problem is. Towards the end of my drinking, I found myself in a terrible predicament. Each day, I would tell myself that the next day would be a day that I would not drink. And when I came to the next morning, I would be convinced that I would not drink that day. But before long, usually by about 10:00 AM that same day, I had begun to plan when I would be able to start drinking that day. And I did just that. I could not maintain a desire to not drink. Once I took that first drink, something happened to me. I wanted more alcohol. Sometimes I became insanely drunk, sometimes not. Sometimes I wanted to get drunk, sometimes not. But even those days that I did not want to get drunk, I found that I certainly did not want to get sober once I started drinking. I could not imagine life without drinking alcohol. I spent many evenings in that hazy place between sober and insanely drunk, with my only real goal being that I not get sober. I came to AA, and I was taught the nature of my problem. And it is described in the chapter "The Doctor's Opinion" in the basic textbook of AA, the book titled "Alcoholics Anonymous". I was told I have an allergy of the body. I have an abnormal reaction to the presence of alcohol in my body. When my wife has a glass or two of wine, she stops because that is all she wants and feels tired. She is like most drinkers. If I had a glass or two of wine, I felt energized. I wanted more alcohol. I was ready to get started for the evening, and she was already done. I had what is described as the phenomenon of craving, which is the manifestation of the abnormal reaction (allergy) to alcohol. I wanted more alcohol. All thoughts of how I would feel the next day had gone, replaced by the singular desire to drink more. If the bodily reaction to alcohol were all that is wrong with me, I would not be a member of AA today, and I would not have needed any more information. I knew that I lost control once I started drinking. A few weeks before I actually quit drinking and came to AA, I quit drinking "for good". I knew that once I drank, I could not stop, and had decided not to drink at all. Within three days, I was planning to drink. Why I waited to drink till the next weekend, I'm not sure. By myself, even armed with the knowledge that I could not control alcohol once it was in my body, I could not maintain a desire to not drink. In AA, I was told of the obsession of the mind. This precise wording is not used in the Big Book, but it is described in "The Doctor's Opinion", "Bill's Story", and "More About Alcoholism". And so I learned that I have problem that centers in my body (the allergy, an abnormal reaction to alcohol, which results in a craving for more) and in my mind (the obsession that somehow this time I can make the drinking game work for me). Just not drinking solves the problem in my body, but not the problem in my mind. For the problem in my mind, I was offered the solution contained in the book "Alcoholics Anonymous". Alcohol had beaten me to the point of being willing to accept that solution. Love to (((ALL))), with the caveat that AA is not a program of love; it is a program of action. Don't drink and go to meetings. Joe - joep041699@mindspring.com
Member: Kelly M
Location: WA
Date: November 04, 2003
Time: 05:49 PM
It's taken me awhile to find my willingness for help and acceptance that I do have a problem. Unfortunately it came in a way that I wish I wouldn't have had to go through. But I do now realize that I have a problem. Just one isn't exceptable to me and that's a huge problem. My willingness is coming through group right now, but I hope in a short amount of time it will come from within.
Member: jenifer d
Location: england swings
Date: November 04, 2003
Time: 09:42 PM
Debbie B. Florida , why don't you try giving your problems to us too , maybe someone out here will have the right words for you to hear. We're all struggling along , that's why we read this site. Good luck anyway ..
Member: AA
Location: Test
Date: November 04, 2003
Time: 09:59 PM
Wow, I really flunked this test!!! I got 9 so I qualify as having a problem with alcohol. I already knew that! http://www.aa.org/default/en_about_aa.cfm?pageid=4
Member:
Location:
Date: November 04, 2003
Time: 10:24 PM
id you post that goofball mike
Member: toddc
Location: indy
Date: November 04, 2003
Time: 10:36 PM
Just want to say that I'm thankful that I made it through today and am still sober. Time to go on to the next 24 hrs
Member: toddc
Location: indy
Date: November 04, 2003
Time: 10:36 PM
Just want to say that I'm thankful that I made it through today and am still sober. Time to go on to the next 24 hrs
Member: Kerry C
Location: TX
Date: November 05, 2003
Time: 12:15 AM
Kerry here an alcoholic. There have been a lot of good shares on willingness, thanks everyone. Willingness is a theme that is repeated many times in the Big Book. For me willingness is the first part of a process that the Big Book teaches me to use to get closer to my Creator. The process is basically Willingness/Prayer/Action. To stop drinking I had to be willing to try to stop drinking. Next I needed God to help me because I had certainly tried many times without success with my will power. To talk to God and ask Him to help me I had to pray. After prayer I had to take some action. Specifically I had to quit buying beer and quit raising it up to my lips and drinking it. After God did His part and removed the obsession from me to drink, I still had to uphold my end of the bargin and not drink. When the temptation to drink arises, I ask God for help to remove the thought and then take some action and talk to another alcoholic. The process of Willingness/Prayer/Action works for character defects as well. If I recognize lying as a character defect, I first need to have the Willingness to stop lying. Without the willingness the process can't begin. Once I have the willingness I ask God in prayer to help me stop lying. Again I must also take some action. In order to stop lying, I must quit telling lies. God will help me but I must keep my end of the bargin and make an effort not to lie. It is the same for all of my character defects as well. Several times in the Big Book it tells us; all that is required is the least bit of willingness to begin. I feel that when God sees we are serious about wanting to change by our actions He helps us to make those changes. Humans have free will to use as they please. It is only when I align my will toward the will of God that progress can be made. The last 10 years of my drinking I desparately wanted to quit. I had the willingness to admit I was an alcoholic during those 10 years. It was only when I applied the other 2 parts of the process Prayer/Action that I was able to quit drinking for the last 229 days. It has worked everyday of that time and will continue to work as long as my willingness to not drink is greater than my willingness to drink and I continue to complete the process with prayer and action. There are only 2 directions I can go daily. One is closer to drinking and the other is further away from drinking. The direction I go is determined by my actions for that day.
Member: eric q
Location: wi
Date: November 05, 2003
Time: 02:04 AM
I wrote "Hi, new to the program I just cant stop drinking. I'm even bored with drinking. Chatting with me will only make you want you to drink more. Tough situation. How do you give somebody "get it". As in get it that life has so much more to offer, than being drunk." Thanks for your input and advise. Continue that input and advise and you may convince many to "get it"
Member: toddc
Location: indy
Date: November 05, 2003
Time: 05:56 AM
I am relativly new to the program, but know this is probably the one smartest step I ever made. I am thankful to wake up to this rainy day in central Indiana, and am praying for the strength to get thruogh my return to work and put another 24 hours behind me. I've been so used to having only 12 to 14 hour days because I lost the rest of my time to being drunk. I don't want or need that anymore.
Member: big bill
Location: west kingston RI
Date: November 05, 2003
Time: 06:10 AM
went to a aa meeting last night and sat there the whole meeting craving a drink .went home and "picked up" i guess i'm not readey for sobriety yet.
Member: Ann
Location: Ohio
Date: November 05, 2003
Time: 06:31 AM
Day 35!.. got my 30 day chip last night and I felt great. I always do after a meeting. Starting to work the steps with my sponsor this week. Here's to another sober 24 to myself and all of you. Thank you for your great posts.
Member: Gerald L.
Location: Los Angeles
Date: November 05, 2003
Time: 08:30 AM
Lisa Iwent through a hospital program years ago.We had a pantry loaded with lots of jucies and sweets. I found the best thing to help get over the shakes was a glass of orange juice with a tablespoon of honey mixed in it.
Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: November 05, 2003
Time: 11:35 AM
BigBill, Hang in there man, it gets worse! Don't be too hard on yourself if your not ready, (yet). It's just a matter of time and hopefully not too much loss. Keep going to different meetings/ speaker ones are good until you can relate without wanting a drink. You must have a lot to chose from in your area. I had a friend from Cranston. He introduced me to my first Lobster! Take it slow and easy, Kelly :)
Member: Dietrich M
Location: Afghanistan
Date: November 05, 2003
Time: 01:16 PM
Hey BIG BILL, keep it real man, just cause you didn't get it today, admiting that it's a problem is good enough to plant the seed, willingness is the ability to keep on striving ahead, regardless of how hard it might be, and it dosen't always get harder, for me, it's only as hard as I make it for myself. If it's too hard to go throught the day, then live life one moment at a time, love ya man! Just a friend from accross the big pond, DM!
Member: AZbill
Location: azbill1172@cox.net
Date: November 05, 2003
Time: 03:44 PM
HI Bill here alcoholic from Arizona. If you wish Big Bill use my email. I may be able to help or I may not. We can at least try. On topic. I came into AA not even believing it would work. It hadn't in the past. By the end of that meeting, I was willing to give it one more try. So I and my first "sponsor" gave it a try and for some reason it worked this time. That was several years ago and we are both sober today. Love you. Stay with it. It will work if you work it. Bill
Member: me
Location: here
Date: November 05, 2003
Time: 06:14 PM
Do yourselves a favor newbies---run like hell from aa as it for losers and there are many, many, more productive ways to quit drinking than hanging out with the losers in those damned good-for-nothing meetings....
Member: big bill
Location: west kingston,RI
Date: November 05, 2003
Time: 06:43 PM
bradj congrats.on your sobriety.you are a sobriety champion in my book.so far i have not been able to reach your level of willingness.keep it up. big bill west kingston,RI
Member: big bill
Location: west kingston,RI
Date: November 05, 2003
Time: 07:02 PM
dear me you seem to have great insight in the problem of alcoholism/sobriety.please share it with us so that we may prophet buy your wisdom . good night: big bill,a recovering acoholic. west kingston ,RI
Member: mav
Location: yep
Date: November 05, 2003
Time: 07:07 PM
Well Big-Bill, are you ready for truth? Can you handle the truth and not some "canned jibber-jabber" the fools in AA meetings espouse? If you are let the mav know and he shall give you some enlightenment into the realities of the situation as rest assured--AA is NOT the answer....
Member: mav
Location: yep
Date: November 05, 2003
Time: 07:07 PM
Well Big-Bill, are you ready for truth? Can you handle the truth and not some "canned jibber-jabber" the fools in AA meetings espouse? If you are let the mav know and he shall give you some enlightenment into the realities of the situation as rest assured--AA is NOT the answer....
Member: Jane C.
Location: Alaska
Date: November 05, 2003
Time: 07:08 PM
Jane C...alcoholic..I need to remind myself of this everyday, so that I don't forget the first step..I haven't posted for a while because I've been so busy selling and buying another house...the one I'm in now sold in less than 10 days.. I'm doing paper work for two banks.. and realters. All of which is about to make me totally NUTS..I know that I have the willingness every day to tell myself that I cannot handle alcohol..and I mean EVERY DAY..and I pray that I never forget that reminder..I can't imagine doing all that is involved in these two home deals if I were still drinking..I am such a "Grateful Recoving Alcoholic" and I hated that expression when I first heard it..but I understand it now and have for a long time..when I did go to FTF meetings, I met some of the most fantastic people,all with the same problem, from all walks of life..there was a former Nun..and a Jesuit Priest and the one that really put a little fear into me was an air line pilot..think about it!!!!!..there were also those that you were to stay away from, but they also taught serious AA's how much they really wanted sobriety.. for me it was, "There but for the Grace of God, go I"..and now these posts are the best reminder, I think that any of us can have to show us where we have been and to thank God that we aren't going where that we shouldn't go..many of us had a very low bottom before we became willing..others, and myself among them were a little more fortunate... I've committed many sins with my drinking, but for me, the one I hurt the most was myself..and it was hardest to forgive myself..I feel so free of guilt and shame due to being so able to forgive others and not to play the blame game..and best of all it's such a blessing to be able to remember every day that you most likely have hurt no one..at least not deliberately...I pray that God will give us another sober day... God Bless...
Member: Jeff C.
Location: Pineville, NC
Date: November 05, 2003
Time: 09:06 PM
Hi all, I'm Jeff, alcoholic. I'm glad I found this place, it feels like a real meeting, I appreciate the comments I've read. I don't know where I am with willingness. It's between 8 and 9 pm where I am and I'm not in a face to face meeting, but making a posting to this website. I was sober 17 years until this past St. Patrick's Day. My sobriety date is November 5, 2003. I was also a single parent for 11 years until this past February, now I hardly see my girls. For that and a few other reasons I'm absolutly eaten up with resentment and I suppose I have become willing to try it your way since drinking hasn't helped a damn thing. (I suppose somebody could have told me that if I'd asked them). the only meeting I felt attracted to that meets tonight is a meeting I helped start and that origionated in my living room when I was just past a year sober in Feb. of '87, and I just couldn't bring myself to drive over there tonight to pick up a chip. I'm willing to start over again, and I do believe that, drink myself to death or not, the resentments I have are going to kill me if I don't get rid of them, and you guys have the only answer I've ever known of how to do that, how to feel comfortable in your own skin. I feel very grateful that there is such a thing as an online AA meeting and that I have an opportunity to share in it. Thanks, and good luck to all, especially to you Big Bill.
Member: Harold L.
Location:
Date: November 05, 2003
Time: 09:25 PM
Jeff,if you have been thru process before why are you acting as if its brand new,just start another one in your living room,you have the resentment and a coffee pot now all you need is someone to join you and then you will have a new meeting.Its doubtful that meetings will help you since they failed to keep you sober in the first place.Only you can make yourself quit,after 17 years you know that better than anyone.All it really takes is your willingness not to pick up the poison and consume it.
Member: Jeff C.
Location: Pineville, NC
Date: November 05, 2003
Time: 10:12 PM
Good idea Harold, as soon as I figure out which end is the head and which end is tails, I just might give it a shot. In the mean time though, just to help some of my new friends in this here meeting place where they've been getting all of those hateful messages from people directing them to this agent orange website (talk about resentments) I'd like to recommend a different one I found just today in the sobering up process, praying for the ability to forgive and be forgiven. Here it is: it's www.sober.org -It'll take you to a place called the Big Book Bunch. I highly recommend it to you Big Bill, it might give you some kind of idea of what kind of sponsor to look for. Anyhow, that's it for me this week, I've already commented once before and not that long ago. It's just that some of that agent orange crap made me mad.
Member: Harold L.
Location:
Date: November 05, 2003
Time: 10:34 PM
All of the A.Orange crap is true,I know it,sometimes the truth hurts and makes us mad but the truth is what it is.Good luck to you Jeff when you get that new meeting started.Sober.org has been around for a long time and I do believe that it is a controlled environment and some people just dont like to be controlled.
Member: TOM M
Location: SC
Date: November 05, 2003
Time: 11:56 PM
It's now been 40 days and loving it. I can't remember the last time I felt this good. I finally found my willingness while setting in county lockup. I was finally willing to admit I was powerless over my drinking. I sought professional help as well as meetings. It's turning out to be the best decision I ever made. Things are improving at work and at home. I can make plans for the next morning without worrying about whether or not I'll be hung-over.(toddc) I know what you mean by being used to 12-14 hour days. I now seem to have all this extra time on my hands. I also have so many ideas of how I would like to fill that time. I have to slow myself down or else I'll feel pressured and wind up back in the bar. I guess it's one step at a time idea. I thank everyone for there posts, they help keep going each day. Looking forward to another 24 hours of sobriety.
Member: Lisa E.
Location: Nassau County, NY
Date: November 06, 2003
Time: 12:04 AM
I have been in and out of these rooms since my late teens. I have had 1+ years sober many times but now have two weeks. As other bad habits in my life, I know if I am willing to remain sober and go to any lenghts to do so (just like driving a few miles to get that ice cream cone) then I will be a better person and may start loving myself. Without that, I can't love my children. What I do know is that I can no longer look at a calendar and say in one year this will be great. I have to be willing to keep it "in the day" with "one day at a time" being my motto or I will die. I have to be willing to share my thoughts without worrying about being hurt. This is not always so easy but without doing so, I know I will truly die. It's nice to see a place where I can go to and others at odd times of the day and share my thoughts with others. Here's to another 24 hours....
Member: Please,I will die
Location:
Date: November 06, 2003
Time: 12:33 AM
Lisa,you idiot you will not die,what damn sponsor or old timer have you been listening to.Damn girl you are a disgrace to yourself for believing such shit as what you have been told.You will die if you choose to die for lack of having respect for yourself.Get responsible and stop the AA charades and live your life without alcohol and crutches of any kind.
Member: Monica
Location:
Date: November 06, 2003
Time: 12:40 AM
Lisa, If the rooms have not kept you from drinking after all the years then you have to admit if you keeping doing the same thing you will keep getting the same result,hence the rooms aint working and never will,so it may just be time for you to try some type of other recovery program or therapist.Which ever way you seek recovery it is ultimately up to you to stop picking it up and bending your elbow and consuming the alcohol,it really does depend on you to not drink.You will not die if you stop making bad choices.
Member: ITS ALL TRUE
Location: JUDGE WAPNER
Date: November 06, 2003
Time: 12:59 AM
ITS ALL TRUE....WHATEVER YOU THINK..THAT'S WHAT IS TRUE FOR YOU... :) ARTICLE 13)) STEP 12, SECTION 21)) PAGE 542
Member: judge judy......
Location: Its all true.....the ultimate truth........
Date: November 06, 2003
Time: 01:21 AM
percieve what ya want...believe what ya want... i personally like to be a little open minded, and yeilding to my own self important beliefs and perceptions... cause it works for me..
Member: eric q
Location: wi
Date: November 06, 2003
Time: 02:20 AM
Tough situation. Go into the reasons, why you drank, too painful, drink more. Follow the advise of those like you with more wisdom, good advise, stop it.
Member:
Location:
Date: November 06, 2003
Time: 04:05 AM
sometimes aa thinking can hurt you when you fall out of that cloud
Member: Ann
Location: Ohio
Date: November 06, 2003
Time: 05:16 AM
36 days! Good job (TomM) on your 40 days! Hey, is it the full moon or what? It seems as if this week has brought alot of anger out on the posts. As I heard somewhere before, "can't we all just get along?" :) Anyway, just remember we are all here to care and support each other. Anger is only hurtful and sometimes harmful. Be positive people, remember you are sober for another 24! That is what is most important now. Get outside and look at what our higher power gave us and take a deep breath! You are alive, enjoy it! Here's to another sober 24!
Member: toddc
Location: Indy
Date: November 06, 2003
Time: 05:47 AM
Stick with what works for you Lisa. For me it is nice To wake up to a rainy and cold thursday morning, but sober. Heres to the start of another 24. You can do it too.
Member: toddc
Location: Indy
Date: November 06, 2003
Time: 07:12 AM
I think I figured out why all these "bashers" are here. They must be from the liquor industry and are afraid of all the money they are going to lose when we stay sober. Personally they can kiss my #@*, because I can see clearly that it is working for me. I can only think of one other time in the last 25 yrs that I have not used for this long, and than only because I was in a work release program.
Member: Lucy
Location:
Date: November 06, 2003
Time: 08:37 AM
If you must go to meetings,make sure someone responsible is handling the money and hold on to your purse tight,there are those who take advantage of others at the meetings and stealing from the fellowship is the number 1 crime committed within the rooms.You never know when some lunatic judge sends a thief to the program just to avoid sending them back to jail as it is cheaper to send them to AA than back to jail.These jailbirds can give us a bad name
Member:
Location:
Date: November 06, 2003
Time: 11:57 AM
STOP THE AA BASHING! FIND A NON AA SITE YOU FREAKS!
Member: Jeff C.
Location: Pineville, NC
Date: November 06, 2003
Time: 01:03 PM
Jeff C., alcoholic. I quite agree with Mr. no-name and no location. I thought this was an early sobriety discussion on the subject of willingness, not bashing AA on an online discussion board with newly recovering people. I would suggest to people like Harold L. that while people might not like being controlled, they just might need "to be willing to" make some kind of surrender to, if nothing else their own personal powerlessness as concerns drinking. If you can quit on your own fucking will power what the hell are you doing screwing with AA? You are obviously not an alcoholic! "If" drinking is the problem, "then" not drinking would be the answer. But, "If when you honestly want to you cannot quit entirely or if when drinking you have little control over the amount you take you "might" be alcoholic. If AA is not an answer for you leave it alone. BUT LEAVE US ALONE TO PURSUE WHAT WORKS FOR ALCOHOLICS WHO WANT IT!!!
Member:
Location: Canada of course!
Date: November 06, 2003
Time: 01:53 PM
Canadian Alcoholic Just checking in to see who is still around. First day today. Can't promise anything. Hope everyone is doing good, its been quite a while since I visited this site.
Member: Canadian Alcoholic
Location:
Date: November 06, 2003
Time: 01:55 PM
Forgot to put my name in the name thing. Long time since I had my own computer.
Member: Ed
Location:
Date: November 06, 2003
Time: 02:44 PM
For those of you who are AA members, I have a question. I attended AA for a couple months earlier this year and stayed sober -- even got a sponsor. That sponsor had to go out of town for a month or so and shortly after his departure I quit going to meetings and began drinking again. His departure had nothing to do with my actions, but I really did expect to hear from him when he returned and found me absent. Haven't tried to call him because I'm not ready to go back. Today it occured to me that maybe he had fallen off the wagon too. I found that that worries me. So what, in your opinion, would be the likely course of action of a sponsor when he or she found someone had dropped out? Somewhere I seem to remember hearing that it's up to me to call my sponsor, not the other way around.
Member: Tabitha
Location:
Date: November 06, 2003
Time: 03:19 PM
Jeff,you had already posted twice this week and you acknowledged as much.Please refrain from not following the suggested guidelines and please refrain from cussing others whether you agree with them or not.You should know that only a person can determine whether they are in fact an alcoholic.You cannot decide who is and who is not an alcoholic.Jeff please stick to sharing your version of ES&H and let others take what they want and leave the rest.
Member: Cecilia
Location: NC
Date: November 06, 2003
Time: 03:26 PM
Hello to all. Please be kind to each other; maintaining my sobriety is difficult, and I think beginners need encouragement, not critizism. Remember when you were there too? I'm having problems with urges and cravings because I've lost my job, my car died about a week ago, and the bills are pilling up. My willingness to reach out and ask for help, is vital to maintaining my sobriety, and other alcholics, who want to maintain sobriety must be willing to reach out and ask for help too. Strength of will can be admired by all, but "willfulness", or the inability to accept myself as an alcoholic is the root of my problems. Jobs and cars come and go, but my willingness to accept change is the "key" to my sobriety. May God bless you all. Cecilia
Member:
Location:
Date: November 06, 2003
Time: 04:13 PM
Why don't you stuff it Tabitha.
Member:
Location:
Date: November 06, 2003
Time: 04:14 PM
Why don't you stuff it Tabitha!
Member: Susan
Location: Fort Walton
Date: November 06, 2003
Time: 04:30 PM
Hi Ed, Good question. I would call him. It is our responsibilty to call our sponsors. Some may call us but many will leave it up to you. Good luck Cecillia, your right that now is the time to ask for help. Hope things get better. Pray for guidance and the will to carry it out. Regards, Susan
Member: Tabitha
Location:
Date: November 06, 2003
Time: 05:34 PM
I dont have to stuff it,I have a good program,my sponsor told me so.He also told me what I posted above.You are supposed to listen to your sponsor especially when they are right.HUGZ TO ANYONE WHO NEEDS THEM!!!
Member: Michael D.
Location: Tulsa, OK
Date: November 06, 2003
Time: 05:36 PM
I am on day three! Again! Keep drifting in and out of the program. Need Help.
Member: Hal
Location:
Date: November 06, 2003
Time: 06:40 PM
Help yourself Michael,you are the only one that can do it,just dont bend your elbow and consume the juice.Ok
Member: Going north
Location: Ontario
Date: November 06, 2003
Time: 11:52 PM
I wish that this area would pick topics that related to what we who are new to all of this are going through NOW!!!! The dreams, the cravings, the desire, not trusting ourselves, why we realize that we must stop drinking and what our rock bottoms are. When I stop in and see "Willingness" personally I think "What the hell???" Willingness to me use to be a Willingness to drink. What are they looking for in regards to sharing???? I am not into <deep> thinking. Give me the facts mame just the facts.
Member: Going north
Location: Ontario
Date: November 06, 2003
Time: 11:53 PM
I wish that this area would pick topics that related to what we who are new to all of this are going through NOW!!!! The dreams, the cravings, the desire, not trusting ourselves, why we realize that we must stop drinking and what our rock bottoms are. When I stop in and see "Willingness" personally I think "What the hell???" Willingness to me use to be a Willingness to drink. What are they looking for in regards to sharing???? I am not into <deep> thinking. Give me the facts mame just the facts.
Member: eric m
Location: maine
Date: November 07, 2003
Time: 12:21 AM
going north willingness comes in many forms...especially for us -a willingness to stop, or even better a willingness to surrender to our addiction and accept it as part of us. For me, fighting has always been about will power; and giving up my willingness to fight my addiction seemed like a sure path to destruction. What AA does so well is open one to the idea that there is strength in surrender and in facing that powerlessness one can start to become honest with oneself and ultimately embrace all those nasty parts that were hidden but not forgotten-turning a fragmented and broken soul back into one whole person with one whole view. As for facts...keep coming back and let experience guide you. peace
Member: eric q
Location: wi
Date: November 07, 2003
Time: 01:46 AM
I wrote "Hi, new to the program I just cant stop drinking. I'm even bored with drinking. Chatting with me will only make you want you to drink more. Tough situation. How do you give somebody "get it". As in get it that life has so much more to offer, than being drunk." ...from what I understand, having a sponsor is absolutely essential for you to "get it". As for program bashing, whatever works is good enough for me.
Member: toddc
Location: indy
Date: November 07, 2003
Time: 05:48 AM
one week sober today, think ill celebrat with a cup of coffee.
Member: Becky
Location: Seattle
Date: November 07, 2003
Time: 11:08 AM
To all the new folks who've posted recently: For some odd reason it helps me to see that others are struggling with cravings and the desire to drink. I don't feel so alone in that. Some days are so fine then, whammo, I just really really really crave a drink (or two or five). I'm coming up on 90 days, but wish this stupid obsession would just stop. I'm willing, and I'm working it, but once in awhile its nice to express the struggle to people who understand. Thanks.
Member: To Becky
Location: and other travelers
Date: November 07, 2003
Time: 11:58 AM
Hi--I'm an alcoholic who is 2 years sober through the grace of God and the fellowship of AA. I can clearly relate to your struggles with the cravings and obsession to drink. I have found that when I open up and talk about them with another alcoholic, they seem to dissipate. It helps me to remember that drinking is what comes naturally to those of us that are alcoholic. Remember our disease is trying to get us back out there and won't stop doing so until we are dead. As long as I'm aware of this and work my program accordingly, I can continue to stay happily sober. Thanks for sharing and allowing me to share today.
Member: Cecilia
Location: NC
Date: November 07, 2003
Time: 01:48 PM
Hello, and Peace and God bless all. I'm struggling to remain sober this week, and my cravings for alcohol are hammering me daily. I've been praying to God for help with my situation, and a friend said I should eat something sweet when the cravings are bad - I've tried this, and it does help - so if anyone else is having urges or cravings to drink, please see if it works for you too. Love & peace to all.
Member: Jane C.
Location: Alaska
Date: November 07, 2003
Time: 01:56 PM
Jane C..alcoholic..grateful yet for another sober day..grateful to all who post here and to other AA groups..I'm still sober only with this site..we all need one another.. some need more help than others..I hope we can give them some good sharing..my second sobriety date is July 14, 2003..I haven't been to regular AA meetings yet, but I know I will get there someday..so far I'm getting so much help from this site.. Michael..Tulsa, OK..keep posting and reading posts here..they'll help a lot if you honestly want to get sober..it's so much better than being out there drinking, and full of fear about what your future holds.. God will help you through, if you let him..Lisa..If you've been in and out of AA since your teen years and it's not working for you...there are other ways.I don't know if AA approves, but there is a group called "Women for Sobriety"..I went to their meetings years ago and found that they were helpful for so many women, but I was then going to AA meetings also, and found that they worked for me for many years.. I then stayed sober with no group also for many years..I wanted it so bad..I pray that God will give me many more years this time around..I want to spend the rest of my life sober.. and it is the rest of my life..I know there is no place that I can go and tell myself one drink is OK.. I tell myself every day that I CAN"T DRINK>.I am totally helpless over any control..I would need the whole bottle and still wouldn't be satisfied...when I think like that I know I won't drink..it's nice to be able to feel so much peace and to know that I can do this thing one day at a time for the rest of my life..If this sounds depressing, think of just how much more so it would be if we drink...GOd Bless us all..and may he Grace us with another sober day...
Member: Bill C
Location: KS
Date: November 07, 2003
Time: 02:59 PM
I'm tired of feeding the beast. I just dumped all the alcohol I had down the toilet, but that was where it was gonna go anyway.
Member: Ann
Location: Ohio
Date: November 07, 2003
Time: 03:04 PM
37 days and things are getting better and better one day at a time. Here's to another sober 24 for all of us.
Member: toddc
Location: indy
Date: November 07, 2003
Time: 06:19 PM
Way to go Bill C. Stick with it. 24 hours at a time.
Member: Sabrina P.
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
Date: November 07, 2003
Time: 07:35 PM
I don't know where to post on this since there is a different topic every week. Maybe there should be an separate advice topic for those who don't know what to make of anything. My thing is I have an employer who has been in the program for 11 years/SOBER years. He's shared this with others; but I still don't know if I should share my problem with him....or go through AA only or without him knowing. I know he could help me but don't know if it's wise for him to know... Those who are there... or have been here before... What to do??? Tired of being sick and tired, Sabrina
Member: Steve J.
Location: Orlando
Date: November 07, 2003
Time: 07:58 PM
I am Steve and I am an Alcoholic. I just have 30 days today. My HP is performing MIRACLES!Sabrina P--Your employer must know anyway. Most everyone around me knew I was an alcoholic (my employees), even tho I tried to hide in my cave and stay out of the light. If you know that much about your employer's sobriety I bet he or she would be delighted for you to come to him or her. Helping others helps us stay sober. Thanks for sharing.
Member: Kim V
Location: Seminole fl
Date: November 07, 2003
Time: 09:55 PM
The Big Book talks about when someone's whole psyche is changed by the person finding a higher power. What happened to me is that the minute I became WILLING, I at once stop felling self pity and was able to stop blaming others for my problems. I was then able to be accountable and ok with the consequences of my past actions (which happened to have been doing 5 years in prison). Once I became willing the promises followed. Thanks for being here.
Member: Shorty
Location: Tacoma
Date: November 07, 2003
Time: 10:19 PM
Good evening all you wonderful newcomers! A clean and sober life is wonderful and it is waiting for you if you stick with it. Whatever you do, don't drink or do any other drugs. That means no tobacco, no pills, no marijuana, no cocaine, no beer - no addictive or mood altering substances at all. Many in AA quit drinking only to die from another drug addiction - nicotine addiction in most cases. Don't be one of those. Set you sights high, be honest, and get completely clean and sober. Each and every day it will get easier and better. God Bless Each And Every One of You.
Member: Monica
Location:
Date: November 07, 2003
Time: 10:32 PM
Kim V.,The BBB(BIG BOOK OF BULLSHIT) DOES NOT SAY ANYTHING,IT IS THE IDIOT WHO SPOUTS OFF WHAT IS WRITTEN IN IT.LIKE YOU.A REAL IIVE CONVICT TO TELL US WHAT TO DO,GET BACK IN YOUR CELL.
Member: toddc
Location:
Date: November 07, 2003
Time: 11:22 PM
Monica, Do us all a favor and go back to your neo-nazi website and leave those of us here alone. I know this program is working for me
Member: Joe P.
Location: Chicago
Date: November 08, 2003
Time: 08:34 AM
To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book.” (Forward to the First Edition) It only took me over 4 years to get a grasp on that word, “recovered”. The seemingly hopeless condition of mind and body to which the book refers is the allergy of the body (abnormal reaction to alcohol that manifests in all my desires focusing on wanting more alcohol) and the obsession of the mind. Since I have not had a drink today, and have not for some 24 hour periods previous, I have not activated the craving for alcohol. But more importantly, I find myself free from the obsession with alcohol and the compulsion to drink today. What a wonderful gift that is! Prior to AA I always came back to the idea that I was going to drink, acted on that idea, and could not seem to get enough. Today I am recovered from that condition. But the key words here for me are “precisely how we have recovered”. I am capable of saying I have recovered from a seemingly hopeless condition of body and mind because I found another alcoholic to take me through the Twelve Steps as laid out in the book “Alcoholics Anonymous”, and followed precise instructions. Don’t drink and go to meetings. Joe joep041699@mindspring.com
Member: Hal
Location:
Date: November 08, 2003
Time: 08:38 AM
the above from Joe P. was posted by me
Member: Joe P
Location: Chicago
Date: November 08, 2003
Time: 09:05 AM
Sorry folks, apparently I am powerless over where my posts wind up today. I remain recovered from that seemingly hopeless state of mind and body ODAAT by continuing the practice of the Twelve Steps in all areas of life to the best of my ability. Joe
Member: Lou
Location:
Date: November 08, 2003
Time: 09:52 AM
Joe you are powerless period,it seems,keep coming back.
Member: Amanda
Location: NW Montana
Date: November 08, 2003
Time: 01:07 PM
To all the new comers welcome! My name is Amanda and I am an alcoholic who has been sober for 4 years. I like to read the Early Sobriety site to remind me of all the struggles that come with sobering up. Your words on the screen bring back vivid memories of my own early sobriety battle. Some days it felt as though I was fighting insurmountable odds and I could not stop the my "Raging Choir of Demons" that tried to convince me that I could manage my drinking on my own and that I was not "really an alcoholic. AA helped me to tame my addiciton "Demons". Today, my life is peaceful and filled with grace and sobriety. The “promises” of the program do come true if you work the program. I am living proof. I hear a lot of you who are trying to quit and who are newly sober, asking how to get started. You get started by finding an AA meeting that is right for you and attending on a regular basis. For those of you who think you are hopeless, go to 90 meetings in 90 days and then reevaluate how hopeless you think you are, I bet you will be astonished with the results. The meetings are everywhere and they are free. To find one call your local AA hotline. Take care to make sure that the group is one that works for you. For example, while I was searching I stumbled into a daytime (it was near my work at lunch time) meeting and it was mostly VERY old timers and they were men that were retired. The topics we not contemporary and they were completely beyond my very “new comers” comprehension. Then by mistake,I attended an AA “Zen like” meditation meeting and this too was not a correct place to begin at least not for me. Finally I attended an AA after work meeting that was mixed, in a neighborhood of young to middle aged adults. They were people just like me, professionals who at one point in their life had been nearly devastated by their addiction to alcohol. Right away I knew this was the right group for me. Some were new to sobriety and some had many years. The ones who had been sober for years were wonderful at coaching those of us who were new. Through a series of these meetings, and through the help and guidance of my sponsor I gained a “tool kit’ of methods to kick the behinds of my “Raging Choir” and stay sober. And if you are on-line because you are afraid of going to meetings because you might “see” someone there who might know you, remember they will be there for the same reason you are, they are an alcoholic or addict just like you. Please note it is called ANOMIOUS for a reason. A sponsor IS very important but, just like the meetings, it is necessary to find one that will be a good fit. I had a lady offer to sponsor me who seemed very shaky to me. I trusted my own intuition and I kindly turned her down. Down the road, I was glad I trusted my “gut” because I later learned that she (although a very sweet well-meaning lady) had a long history of relapse and could not stay sober herself. So how do you find a sponsor? Well, I asked the leader of the meeting I was attending to help me. He knew many, if not most, of the attendees. He also knew who was busy with “sponsees” and who might be open to work with me. With his help I found a sponsor within a week. She encouraged me and we worked the steps together. She was wonderful and I am so grateful she guided me through my first year. The step are critical and they work! However, the steps work ONLY if you work them. Reading them and wanting to be sober is a good start but it will not produce sobriety without action on your part. And in my mind. Step Three was my most significant step and it is this; “Make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand him.” This step turned my life around. Those of you who are struggling, turn it over to your God, your Higher Power, and the miracles that come with a life of sobriety WILL happen. But turning it over means truly turning it over! Your God/HP will not violate your free will. Your free will must sincerely and humbly match your prayers. As to the new comers on this site who are subject too the recent onslaught of "AA Bashing" consider this; many of us who have been in AA for awhile,know Bill W was not a saint. He was a human that found a way to help alcoholics and addicts. Are all of the evil things posted about AA true? No. Like all angry people they build their malicious cases on partial truths to make them more believable. My guess is this angry garbage stems from persons who are very, very ill and are angry because they cannot stay sober so they blame AA. It must somewho makes them feel justified to continute drinking as they spout off about how AA is somehow bad. What I know to be true is this: AA WORKS! I and millions of others are sober because of it. For women who struggle with the 1940’s language of AA (as it was originally written for men because most women of the day we closet alcoholics) try the book, “A Woman’s Way Through The Twelve Steps” by Stephanie S. Covington. It follows AA but in more modern language. It can still be purchased via on-line book stores. May God or your HP bless all of you who are struggling with your new sobriety. The struggle is worth it!
Member: tc
Location: worldcitizen
Date: November 08, 2003
Time: 02:38 PM
Hello, I'm back after a LONG absence and months of fooling myself. I have a question for those of you farther down this path. Due to my lifestyle (small kids, traveling husband) I am unable to attend face-to-face meetings. The times I could, I found them very helpful, but that's not an option now. My question...is it possible to find a sponsor through this website? Is that a luxury for FTF meetings only? I am anxious to hear from anyone that can help. Thank you.
Member: Jeff M.
Location:
Date: November 08, 2003
Time: 03:19 PM
Thanks Amanda, it was so inspiring to read your words. I found Step 3 amazing too. After abandoning my battle with alcohol, I spent the next several weeks re-reading spiritual literature I had seen many times before. I kept seeing this theme, to the effect that the more I am willing to acknowledge and truly admit my weakness, the more God fills me with grace and paradoxically makes me stronger. It's an inverse relationship, acknowledging weakness and receiving grace. Anyone who knows me would be stunned at my saying these things. I am truly happy for the first time in years. I have been sober for 58 days, literally by God's grace alone. But I give myself credit for that initial decision to stop fighting a losing fight. It's worth it, everyone. Sobriety is worth everything.
Member: Henri
Location: Quebec
Date: November 08, 2003
Time: 03:38 PM
Hello, TC. I wouldn't worry about not having a sponsor. It really isn't necessary for most people. Getting clean and sober is not that complicated and in the few instances where you might need to ask someone a question, you'll be able to find a trustworthy person to help you. I never felt the need for a sponsor and I'm glad I didn't take that path. Too many I know were 'forced' into getting a sponsor and ended up with one who made things worse instead of better. I suggest that you just go it alone and if a sponsor becomes appropriate for you, one will appear. Many, many people get clean and sober without a sponsor and also without the steps. Have faith in God and you will do just fine. May God and Jesus be with you.
Member: big bill
Location: west kingston,RI
Date: November 08, 2003
Time: 04:17 PM
hi my name is bill i'm an alcoholic.i'ts 4.03 on a saturday afternoon and i'm sitting here drinking green tea,i'm usualy loaded by now.i have no cravings today and i think i'll make it through the night.i've been doing websites,meetings,and the twelve steps.is it starting to work??thanks for listening.
Member: chris h.
Location: fla.
Date: November 08, 2003
Time: 06:40 PM
I'm Chris I'm an alcoholic/addict--Willingness is the favorite word of my sponsor...I have alwa¥s had a hard time iwth willingness, but I learned in this program that I can pray for willingness. WHat a beautiful thing! I am even powerless over that , and can turn thatover to my HP. I can work the steps adn the willingness will come. I love the program of A.A> , because the more I work the steps the more of the promises come true, and then, the more willingness I get. I have been working on my gratitude lately...and have found much more serenity and peace. I am even trying to be greatful when things look their darkest...There seems to be peace in that. Thanks for all the good shares.
Member: mark m
Location: columbia tn
Date: November 09, 2003
Time: 08:02 AM
good morning to all mark m here, alcoholic i just had a real b/day i turned 42 and i'll have 6mo c/s next week (nov 13) being sober is a wonderful thing but it is hard at times that is when your hp comes in to play (ask and you,ll get) i had a sponser but i didn't call him enough i guess the BB is a inportant part of my recovery and so is F2F meetings lols of love to all if anybody wants to talk here is my email kidmills117@aol.com