Member: AZbill
Location: az-bill@mindspring.com
Date: October 26, 2003
Time: 09:59 AM
HI Bill here. Alcoholic from Arizona. I have heard it said that the Home Group is the heartbeat of AA. This is the group that I eventually attended on a regular basis. This is the group where I got to know you and you got to know me. This is the group where my recovery began. Where my service work began. This is the group where I first learned to be responsible. When I finally got to the point where I needed and wanted a more experienced sponsor, the first words out of his mouth were. "I suggest you get a home group. You might as well pick this one, since you are here every Thursday anyway. You can always change it later." Take care. Love you all. Bill
Member: Alice W
Location: Wa
Date: October 26, 2003
Time: 10:25 AM
Hi, My name is Alice, and I am an Alcoholic. I have finally come to the realization that I have a problem, and I could use support. Where do I begin? e-mail:calicat60@msn.com
Member: Mike H.
Location: Jackson Michigan
Date: October 26, 2003
Time: 11:23 AM
By joining a home group it gives some structure to my life. A commitment to always attend a certain meeting and get involved. Taking part in something instead of just existing. Learning and making friends. As we get older in the program we can branch out to other groups but having a home group gives us a base or foundation that is comfortable.
Member: Jim B
Location: New York
Date: October 26, 2003
Time: 02:55 PM
Unfortunately my work hours change on a regular basis,so I am unable to belong to a home group. I've had a hard time getting a sponsor to fit my schedule. I was told by a sponsor to quit my job because of my schedule. Talk about some bad advise,quit a $65,000. a year job(when I only have a high school education), to be sober and go work in mcdonalds? If I can't pay my bills, I'm that much closer to a drink.
Member: Ann
Location: Ohio
Date: October 26, 2003
Time: 04:07 PM
Hi, Ann here, alcoholic... I'm at 25 days, and this website is my home group. I do attend a face to face meeting every tuesday and Friday, which I dearly love, but I always know that I can come here anytime of the day or night and someone will give me the strength I need. I respect and admire all of you. Thank you to all. Enjoy another sober 24!
Member: sr
Location: west coast
Date: October 26, 2003
Time: 04:21 PM
Hi it's 1PM and I'm still throwing up from my drunk last night. I was beating myself up, but I'm too sick to do that now. Can't believe I tied one on like that! Isn't that what we all say? I was very upset with someone yesterday and I guess I thought I would show him. So I thought a cold beer would be great, then went to hard stuff. I was plastered by 6pm last night so I started at happy hour. That was at my house of course, I couldn't let anyone see me like that. I went 9 days then bam. so it's day one again. I will find a f2f meeting this week and get serious about sobriety. I cannot have just one drink. I do know that now. I am an alcoholic. Pray for me today. any suggestions on how to settle my stomach? Thank God for this site.
Member: TOM M
Location: SC
Date: October 26, 2003
Time: 07:50 PM
It's now day 30. (Ann) This is my home group as well. I have a group that I attend from time to time. But no matter where I'm working, you guys only a click away. I haven't found a sponsor because my job has kept on the road more than at home. I get called out for service at a moments notice. That's why this is my home group. I've had great days and rough nights since I began this journey. I know that I'll have many more in the future, but I can always find this page. When I read everyone's posts, I see myself in the past, present and hopeful future. I thank all of you for your support. I hope you'll join me in another 24 hours without a drink.
Member: Lisa H
Location: Upstate NY
Date: October 26, 2003
Time: 09:18 PM
Hello all, my name is Lisa and I'm an alcoholic. I enjoy reading your comments. Thanks for the honesty. If everything keeps going well I will have 30 days Monday. I have only been trying to do this for 9 years now. People, places and ME. I am gratefull for the spiritual awakening.
Member: Sierra
Location: Sault Ste. Mare, Ont.
Date: October 26, 2003
Time: 11:38 PM
This topic this week is going to be a road less traveled just like a topic posted a couple of weeks ago. how about a new topic? Is there one phrase or a couple of words that keeps you in recovery? Are there a couple of phrases or topics that got you into recovery??
Member: Ann
Location: Ohio
Date: October 27, 2003
Time: 07:20 AM
Hi, Ann here and 26 days sober.. wow... Lets see, a phrase that got me to this point. Sick and tired of being sick and tired. Funny, I haven't had a desire at all for a drink. I look at my son everyday and realize how much greater our relationship is now.. although he kinda misses the times when homework wasn't as important as a beer.. :).. but last night I dreamt of sneaking out and drinking. I woke up very confused... as they say, this is a very sneaky disease and I'm glad I can say it was only a dream. Keep up the good work all, and congratulations to you (Tom M)! We've been growing up here together and it is always nice to read your posts! To another sober 24..
Member: AZbill
Location: az-bill@mindspring.com
Date: October 27, 2003
Time: 07:32 AM
Hi. Bill here. Acoholic from Arizona. On the new topic. The phrase that had the most to do with me getting into recovery was. "Hey bartender give me another." Love ya, Bill
Member: mav
Location: rightin the ship
Date: October 27, 2003
Time: 08:38 AM
My home group is called "HUMANITY," and I joined it a long time before I went to an AA meeting. Sure I left for awhile, but when I returned home and reintegrated myself back into society and part of the greater whole instead of living all for me, me, me, AA was a fairly major part of it. But even the AA literature is clear that reintegration back into society is the ultimate purpose and can only be achieved through not drinking like a pig. Nobody who drinks like a pig can be a useful member of society so it obviously had stop, but my "homegroup" of life involves way more today than some other drunks and addicts and I pity nothing more than when I see people who go to meeting after meeting, home-group after home-group looking for the right fit and never find out it was right in front of their face the whole time, how sad. All it takes is getting out into the world and living amongst your fellow man and not couping up in a barroom without alcohol(an AA meeting). Yeah, my "homegroup" is important, I just keep the greater good in mind at all times, not self-proclaimed alkies....
Member:
Location:
Date: October 27, 2003
Time: 09:32 AM
get back on the coffepot where you don't belong mav
Member: Lisa
Location: FL
Date: October 27, 2003
Time: 10:10 AM
Hi everyone, I am back on Day 2. I thought this weekend would be my last party before I decided to once and for all say good bye. I am going to a face to face meeting tonight. I need to take this program seriously and stop finding reasons why I don't need to go to meetings. (Mav) I keep thinking the same thought that you mentioned, that I don't want my life to revolve around alcoholism, and go to meetings and constantly have this problem on my mind, rather spend time with those that don't have this problem, living life, but I know now that unless I face this thing and do what I need to do to change it, it will never go away. I have to get to those meetings to remind me that I am not strong. I guess I was silly before for thinking that a few sips of a drink wasn't worth counting, well it just threw me back to wanting to drink over the weekend with the resonsing that I will quit on Sunday. I have to give it up completley. I feel so lost inside myself. I feel scared of tommorow. I feel sad that I don't have the power to just give it up, and I am so mad that it controls me the way it does. So much fear comes with admitting your an alcoholic, who will find out, what if they see me going to a meeting, how do I explain that I do't want to drink any longer, me, the girl that lives for a drink, who am I without it. Thats the craziest part-who am I without it. How does alcohol become a part of who you are. How could I have let it become such a part of my life. So I am going to stop trying to find ways around this thing and just admit it. I am an alcoholic. Today is Day#2 of my sobriety. I can't seem to stop crying as I write this. I finally surrender.
Member: Donna B.
Location: Louisiana
Date: October 27, 2003
Time: 11:31 AM
I'm Donna. Alcoholic on day 6 of recovery. I urge any of you that can ever go to a convention of any kind to do so. It was amazing to see the long time sobriety and the hope that is in those rooms. That's all I have.
Member: Annie H
Location: CA
Date: October 27, 2003
Time: 12:39 PM
Hi Annie here. This is my day 1. My husband was terminally ill for 5 years. So I needed to be sober to turn him at night and care for him all day. Now that he has passed over, I still have a lot of wonderful things to do/be in my life. But I have found I can no longer go back to that 1-2 glasses of wine at night. Your comments give me hope I can give alcohol up and fill that part of my life with something positive.
Member: Linda S.
Location: Northwest
Date: October 27, 2003
Time: 02:17 PM
Hi, I am Linda S. from the Northwest. I have yet to have a day without my drink! I've linked on to this site for my hope. I live on a private island and getting to a meeting seems impossible. I am hoping this cyber site will be my help. Pray for me.
Member: William
Location: Austin, TX
Date: October 27, 2003
Time: 02:47 PM
meetings aren't the program but I tend to relapse without them; I lose contact w/ those with more sobriety, those who are seeking it, and I end up w/ friends who don't understand the disease. I used to hate meetings but I enjoy them now that I try to identify w/ each person that shares. I do have a home group & it's a major part of my program; I never forget that the steps are the program, though. Anonymity is important but it's easy to "hide" by going to different meetings all the time. For myself, I did this for a long time because I was fearful of letting people know who I am. I'm done with hiding. If nothing else, I stay busy going to meetings since I'm not good w/ spare time & boredom. On the supplemental topic of mottos, the one that recently means the most is More Will Be Revealed. Everyday is fascinating in sobriety, even when my moods are up & down & everywhere at once (day 19).
Member: Becky
Location: Seattle
Date: October 27, 2003
Time: 03:52 PM
Becky here, still an alchoholic and almost 2 1/2 mos free by taking one day at a time. (that would be the phrase that helps me, Sierra.) <<Bill>> Thanks so much for clarifying a home group for me. I had sort-of picked that up, but you put it in clear terms. Is there any sort-of announcement you make to that group? Or do you just make it your group and attend regular? <<Alice>> Hi, I started by attending an AA meeting, and then decided to quit drinking. However, I didn't realize that I might go into withdrawl (after all, I certainly didn't drink THAT much) which I did and I ended up in detox. From there directly to an outpatient program which gave me some more tools and encouraged AA participation. So far so good for me. <<sr>> mineral water & peppermint tea always help. Can't tell you how much better I feel physically since I stopped drinking all together. It really is amazing. <<Lisa>> thanks for your post. I'm working on figuring out why I cry at meetings and think it is part of getting to know me again. Like William my emotions are up & down & everywhere at once sometimes! But I'm feeling them now, not stuffing them and am trying hard to learn what they are saying to me. <<Linda S>> I will pray for you today. THANKS everyone for posting, I love that I have such support at easy reach.
Member: Tim R
Location: Minnesota
Date: October 27, 2003
Time: 04:26 PM
Hi: I'm on Day 2 and really related to Donna's comments. I've known I'm and alcoholic for some time, but I've been leary of AA beacuse I didn't want to live my life identifying myself by my 'weakness', but wanted to somehow get past it on my own. Well, that hasn't worked so far and I turn 44 next week! I live in a small town and am absolutely terrified to go to a meeting and see or be seen by someone I know. I am also very shy and meetings in general are very uncomfortable for me. Can I hang out here instead? ;-)
Member: Dawn
Location: MI
Date: October 27, 2003
Time: 04:44 PM
Dawn and I'm an alcoholic. It's been 33 days and I am proud of myself. I take one day at a time sometimes less than that. Tim, don't think of it as a weakness but as a strength that you can admit it. Don't be afraid of whom you might see there, they are in the same boat as you. Remember that we are all here to help each other.
Member: Donatello
Location: U S A
Date: October 27, 2003
Time: 05:50 PM
Linda, from the Northwest, and anyone else who has difficulty attending a meeting, just do the best you can. This site has a lot of good information, and a lot of bad information, just like a live meeting. Just try and learn what you can from what people have to share (either on this site or at a live meeting) and don't, don't, don't drink. Each day will get easier. And remember, no meeting, no A.A. program, no steps are going to get you clean and sober. Only God, our Father, and His Son Jesus Christ will relieve you from your alcoholism or any other addiction. And God and Jesus are available anywhere at anytime. Place all your faith and trust in God and Jesus. - - - Linda, my prayers are with you. - - - Jim B, I am so sorry that you got such bad advice from your sponsor. I hope you can get your old job back. That helps prove the fallacy of sponsorship. The fact is, there are only a handful of people in all of AA that are qualified to be sponsors. The rest will do you more harm than good, as you unfortunately found out. All are much better off with no sponsor than with an unqualified sponsor. If you have a decent level of intelligence, you don't need a sponsor anyway. Love to all.
Member: Jim D
Location: Fl
Date: October 27, 2003
Time: 08:31 PM
Jim B in NY, I would suggest that you get phone numbers from people at each meeting you attend, that way you will have people to call who work "your schedule". No one's sponser is available all the time, so get more numbers to call. Good luck.
Member: Kerry C
Location: TX
Date: October 27, 2003
Time: 08:45 PM
Kerry here an alcoholic. Welcome to all the new people who have decided to face their problems with alcohol. The only way I could be free of alcohol was to stop drinking it. While that sounded very simple, doing it was probably the hardest thing I have ever done. Alcohol had entrenched its' way into almost every activity I participated in. I also found that every time I drank any alcohol, it triggered a reaction which produced a craving for more alcohol. I don't know if I was predisposed to react like that or if I drank myself to that level. I know that there came a point to where I was drinking when I really didn't want to drink. It seemed I drank just to function. When I got to the point that I wanted to stop drinking more than I wanted to continue drinking, I came back to AA. I needed something to do with all the time I had been using drinking daily. I needed to be around people that didn't drink and make new friends that didn't drink. By attending the same AA meetings regularly I got to know more people there. A Home Group for me is a place to build healthy relationships with others who understand my problems with alcohol. If I had to just sit around alone and not have any fun in sobriety, then it really wouldn't be much of a life. This site is very helpful but is no substitute to developing friendships and having a life in the real world. Out there in the real world is where we have to face alcohol. Believe me it is definitely easier to stay sober when you have a group of friends around you doing the same. I am in the process of establishing a new home group so this topic and all the helpful posts was timely for me. Thanks everyone for sharing and if anyone would like to read more about Alcoholics Anonymous here is a link to an online version of the Big Book. http://uts.cc.utexas.edu/~clyde/BillW/BB_Introduction.html
Member: Linda S.
Location: Northwest
Date: October 27, 2003
Time: 10:13 PM
To Donatello and Becky: Thanks for your prayers. Tonight is going much better than I expected. I too am a devote christian - that what seems to make me more guilty. I do want to stay sober for HIM. He is my all in all. Thanks.
Member: Donatello
Location: U S A
Date: October 27, 2003
Time: 11:46 PM
Linda from the Northwest, you're welcome. Do not feel guilty because you feel that you have failed as a Christian. Remember the words of Jesus when the Pharisees questioned why He was eating with tax collectors and other sinners. "It is not the healthy that need a physician, but the sick." Recognizing that I was a sinner and repenting brought me closer to my Lord and Savior than I would have ever thought possible. Never forget, only God and Jesus will keep you sober. Peace be with you. - - P. S. I don't know where in the Northwest you live, but I used to live in Gig Harbor, Washington. Beautiful country!
Member: Ann
Location: Ohio
Date: October 28, 2003
Time: 04:50 AM
Hi,Ann here ...27 days... and it's been great.. I was reading all the new posts and they are all so great. This is the place that helps me keep my sobriety, but getting out of the house and off of the computer is equally important. To (Tim R)..I too was scared of going to a meeting. I still think that AA has this spooky cult like feeling about it from the outside. You have heard weird things and don't know if you will look rediculous not knowing what happens behind those doors. Will people judge you, no. Remember that ALL of us are alcoholics behind those doors. We have ALL been thru what you are going thru. We have ALL come to the realization that we are unable to handle this disease ourselves and need to reach for a higher power and others like ourselves. You only need to take that one step. Also remember that whatever happens behind those doors stays behind those doors. No one talks about who goes or what you talk about. My mother told me that when my grandfather ( who lived in a very small town) went to his first meeting he said that people would be surprised by who he saw there, but he never, ever told anyone. He was also comforted by the people he knew that were also stricken with the same disease and had conquered it. So, go to a meeting. Consider it a blessing if you meet someone there you know who you could relate to and could be there for you when you need to call someone and talk. You will never be more comforted in your life as you are when you enter an AA meeting. Here's to another sober 24, and keep on coming back.
Member: J-Rae
Location: N.D.
Date: October 28, 2003
Time: 09:11 AM
Choosing a homegroup.... Well, for me, that was pretty simple as there was only one group in town when I first came into the rooms of AA...But a couple of years ago, the group split. I chose the group with the most Experience, Strength and Hope....the one I felt at 'home' in. They weren't afraid to admit their mistakes as a group. They tried to the best of their ability to follow the traditions. They gently took me aside after the meeting if they could offer extra insight to me. They told me to keep coming back. As for a phrase, I would have to say, "To thine own self be true" set me straight enough to even enter the rooms of AA. I was a drunk. I had to admit that was the truth of the matter and that I needed help. After trying several methods myself that didn't work, and seeing that these people were living life and enjoying it without the booze, I found I wanted what those people had. My home group teaches me to be accountable...(of course with the help of my sponsor). I attend meetings regularly. I do service work there. Congrats to all celebrating another day of sobriety... ~J-Rae
Member: Jane C.
Location: Alaska
Date: October 28, 2003
Time: 11:34 AM
Jane C..alcoholic (I need to remind myself)..one day at a time works best for me..I know it's for the rest of my life, but I only have today to be concerned about.. (TIM) meetings are hard for me too..not only am I quiet and shy, but I'm phobic in social situations..hang out here all you want, it's so far working for me..but we'll be moving in a few months to a very small town and I'm praying that the meetings there will tempt me back to the local AA groups..and hopefully there will be a wommens' group that I will be able to attend..there are four churches there and I'll go to the one that feeds me spiritually the most..that's the one I'll be most comfortable with..I owe my sobriety first to God,my Saviour..then to this site and all the good people here that share their lives so openly..they help keep me sane and in the right place..I try to post here everyday, I used to do it sometimes twice a day, but we've been so busy with packing and trying to finish shopping for Christmas, that I don't have as much time right now..and I ask God to please keep me sober while I'm trying to get so much done in a short period of time..I ask God to give us all another sober day, and thank Him for all that he has given to us..I really have a lot to be thankful for..
Member: Linda S.
Location: Northwest
Date: October 28, 2003
Time: 11:54 AM
Donatello: You are right about Jesus is for the ill not the healthy. I guess the guilt comes from praying in the morning for healing and drinking at night. The CYCLE. Last night though I had nothing. My husband had his usual wine but I was fine with that. I pray for this to continue and this web site does help a lot. Thanks.
Member: Sue
Location: USA
Date: October 28, 2003
Time: 12:11 PM
Well, as always, I saw myself in many of the posts. I've been trying to deal with this problem for many years. Tim R., I related the most from your post - I am 43 yrs. old and also shy. I have been to AA meetings in the past but I find it very uncomfortable to speak at them. If you'd like to email me - please let me know...I've found it helpful to "share" one on one online as I have never been comfortable in public speaking.
Member: Tim R
Location: Minnesota
Date: October 28, 2003
Time: 01:37 PM
Thanks for the encouraging comments. Perhaps by getting more comfortable with AA here, I will work up the courage to attend a local meeting. To Sue, yes I'd be interested in e-mailing. Thanks!
Member: Annie H.
Location: Northwest
Date: October 28, 2003
Time: 02:56 PM
Annie H here. Day 2. I appreciate the phrases that mean something to you and thanks too, to the person who gave us the Big Book online. It seems to me I am most tempted/anxious to drink when I am overtired, overexcited or overworked about something or other. Is this true for others as well?
Member: Donna Z
Location: USA
Date: October 28, 2003
Time: 03:54 PM
To Annie H I know that in rehab I was taught HALT>hungry, angry, lonely, tired. These are things that set us off as people new in recovery. Try to talk to yourself while you are tempted and ask what would change by taking this drink? For me, most of the same of stuff is still there sober or not. That's what I'm trying to do. I only have one week today..so far it's working. You are in my prayers and congratulations on Day 2.
Member: jippy
Location: mars
Date: October 28, 2003
Time: 08:05 PM
HI, I have got to be the most shyest person in the world, so my sponsor told me that I have to come to the meetings hes at and shake hands as our group greeter. I don't know if that is gonna help because when I do I get so nervous. The other day I held out my hand to shake one womans hand and she damn near hissed at me, turned her head and kept walking. Boy I felt bad. My sponsor told me that some people are sicker than others. But otherwise home groups are nice so far.........
Member: Annie H
Location: Northwest
Date: October 28, 2003
Time: 11:30 PM
Donna Z...HALT....you are exactly right.
Member: chris h.
Location:
Date: October 29, 2003
Time: 02:33 AM
I'm Chris and I'm glad there are other cyber people out there. Been so busy with life that I have missed some meetings. I have 127 days clean and have gotten complacent. this site reminds me that I don't want to give that time. I don't understand the people that get online to trash AA or recovery. I know that resentments just give me an excuse not to work on my self improvement. I don't like Bush or his policies, but I don't waste any of my energy getting angry about them. I could sit on the pity pot and ask why am I an addict an alcoholic, but whats done is done. Time to recover.
Member: Lisa
Location: FL
Date: October 29, 2003
Time: 09:31 AM
Hi everyone, I am Day 4 and feeling great. I got up this morning and went for a jog and then my neighbor I have talked about went for breakfast together. I talked to him a little about my problem and told him that I was going to be going to some meetings. It was really hard to admit it to someone, but it really wasn't a big surprise to him. He wanted to go to a meeting with me. How sweet. I asked a question before about dating others and if it was a good idea, I decided to go for it. He is a good influence and really supports me. Its so strange, he cares for me even with all my flaws. He has been there when I was drank myself to death, he has picked me up days that I am depressed, he has made me food every night until I got paid because I blew all my mo ney on drinking, and no judgement over me. Just very caring. Its so nice to have him in my life. Anyway, my thoughts and prayers are with you all. Thanks for listening
Member: William
Location: Austin, TX
Date: October 29, 2003
Time: 11:46 AM
I also felt shy & uncomfortable about sharing in meetings & only do so every once in a while, if my gut tells me I've got something to add. Home group dynamics are not much different than being in any other "public" setting: some people are to be avoided, some people I actively try to meet, and some disappear because they don't want to loiter w/ the rest of us. I can be any of those depending on my ever-changing moods (which are much better today, day 21) One nutball exploded the other night because someone set their coffee cup on his car. His temper made me realize I didn't want the kind of sobriety he had. Anyway, I meet different people every meeting, esp. those w/ less time. I focus on talking w/ males only because I'm not clear-headed enough to navigate a romantic relationship right now. In time....
Member: Ann
Location: Ohio
Date: October 29, 2003
Time: 12:41 PM
28 days... and happy for every minute. I went to 2 face to face meetings yesterday and feel very strong today. As far as sharing in meetings, I am also very shy when it comes to opening up. A lot of it as I have been told is also because we newcomers haven't worked the steps which allows us to be honest with ourselves and others. We are still learning. But it's o.k... As my sponsor told me, sometimes it's good to take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth. I listen alot, and from that I learn. I'll speak more in time. Here's to another sober 24 to all.
Member: KathyG
Location: So. Cal.
Date: October 29, 2003
Time: 04:33 PM
HI Kathy and an alcoholic. I have just today so far. I have been in and out for years. I am 40 today and would sure like to go the next 40 sober. I know what i am supposed to do it just becomes complicated to do it by a 2 year old, single mom, school, you know the excuses. I have lied to my husband (of a month) and family. I dont know what to do about that. Advice? I dont drink alone wiht my son. i know that doesnt change things but I do put him first. that is guilt talking i suppose. Anwyay I am going to try this online meeting and try to get to one tomorrow face to face. It helped to see the other comments herein. thanks
Member: Eric S.
Location: Virginia
Date: October 29, 2003
Time: 08:20 PM
Hi everyojne, Eric here, grateful recovering alcoholic. I didn't join a home group right away. In fact I was told to try different groups until I connected with 2 or 3, and make then my steady meetings. I spent about 6 months attending about a dozen different groups until I found 2 in particular where I felt at ease with the regulars. One group has members who do alot of things outside meeting rooms, and as I opened up in meeting and let them know me, they began inviting me out for coffee after the meeting and occasionally a round of golf. In short,they accepted me and I adopted this group as my home group. Tim, I also was deathly afraid of being seen attending meetings in my small town, yet these same people had seen me get sick on thier lawn, run my car onto their property and fight with my family. I got over my shyness once I accepted the fact that for me, my alcoholism is a life and death matter.
Member: Eric S.
Location: Virginia
Date: October 29, 2003
Time: 08:20 PM
Hi everyojne, Eric here, grateful recovering alcoholic. I didn't join a home group right away. In fact I was told to try different groups until I connected with 2 or 3, and make then my steady meetings. I spent about 6 months attending about a dozen different groups until I found 2 in particular where I felt at ease with the regulars. One group has members who do alot of things outside meeting rooms, and as I opened up in meeting and let them know me, they began inviting me out for coffee after the meeting and occasionally a round of golf. In short,they accepted me and I adopted this group as my home group. Tim, I also was deathly afraid of being seen attending meetings in my small town, yet these same people had seen me get sick on thier lawn, run my car onto their property and fight with my family. I got over my shyness once I accepted the fact that for me, my alcoholism is a life and death matter.
Member: mark m
Location: columbia tn
Date: October 29, 2003
Time: 10:30 PM
MAV get your butt back on the pot you don't need to be here people on this page are tring to get sober and don't need to hear anything that you have to offer
Member: MARK M
Location: COLUMBIA TN
Date: October 29, 2003
Time: 10:38 PM
mav you are doing wrong by being here please leave this page alone the people here are tring to stay sober most of us are still early in our soberity and don't need to hear your way of thinking at this time GO BACK TO THE POT!!!!!!!
Member: not jus fer markymark
Location: but especially so....
Date: October 29, 2003
Time: 10:54 PM
Member: mav Location: rightin the ship Date: October 27, 2003 Time: 08:38 AM Comments My home group is called "HUMANITY," and I joined it a long time before I went to an AA meeting. Sure I left for awhile, but when I returned home and reintegrated myself back into society and part of the greater whole instead of living all for me, me, me, AA was a fairly major part of it. But even the AA literature is clear that reintegration back into society is the ultimate purpose and can only be achieved through not drinking like a pig. Nobody who drinks like a pig can be a useful member of society so it obviously had stop, but my "homegroup" of life involves way more today than some other drunks and addicts and I pity nothing more than when I see people who go to meeting after meeting, home-group after home-group looking for the right fit and never find out it was right in front of their face the whole time, how sad. All it takes is getting out into the world and living amongst your fellow man and not couping up in a barroom without alcohol(an AA meeting). Yeah, my "homegroup" is important, I just keep the greater good in mind at all times, not self-proclaimed alkies....
Member: mav
Location: here-for the newcomers
Date: October 29, 2003
Time: 11:03 PM
Hi all. As you can plainly see htere's a little "misunderstanding" around here, ey? You see, there is the mentality that if you are new you are to be lied to endlessly until you are just brainwashed enough to believe it's real and then help brainwash others yet further. See how markm claims that "you people here don't need to hear my way of thinking."? Funny considering I'm an "old-timer" and have been around AA way too long. I'm trying to save everyone the from making the same mistakes I did, namely staying in such an insidiously evil for such a long period of time. AA is overall much more harmful than it is helpful and anyone can quit drinking with a little help from God. God works far better outside of the evil organization that is AA, than He does inside it. Hey, listen to both sides and make your own call, just listen and watch, it's as crystal clear as can be. People get sober forever and are recovered without not only ever going to meetings, but most of the more advanced ones may start there and then basically graduate from all the chaos and insidious evil that pervades the crazy sub-culture of AA. Check the mav out on the coffee pot page and he'll give you all a warm welcome....
Member: mav
Location: here-for the newcomers
Date: October 29, 2003
Time: 11:03 PM
Hi all. As you can plainly see htere's a little "misunderstanding" around here, ey? You see, there is the mentality that if you are new you are to be lied to endlessly until you are just brainwashed enough to believe it's real and then help brainwash others yet further. See how markm claims that "you people here don't need to hear my way of thinking."? Funny considering I'm an "old-timer" and have been around AA way too long. I'm trying to save everyone the from making the same mistakes I did, namely staying in such an insidiously evil for such a long period of time. AA is overall much more harmful than it is helpful and anyone can quit drinking with a little help from God. God works far better outside of the evil organization that is AA, than He does inside it. Hey, listen to both sides and make your own call, just listen and watch, it's as crystal clear as can be. People get sober forever and are recovered without not only ever going to meetings, but most of the more advanced ones may start there and then basically graduate from all the chaos and insidious evil that pervades the crazy sub-culture of AA. Check the mav out on the coffee pot page and he'll give you all a warm welcome....
Member: Dietrich M
Location: Kabul, Afghanistan
Date: October 30, 2003
Time: 04:25 AM
To you the new comer, if you want an opportunity to make a differance in your lives, then go to meetings, keep an open mind about what you hear there, many minds mean many differances of oppinions, just like our friend "mav" we all have to decide for ourselves if we want to continue on with the way things are or if we want to take this chance to make differance with ourselves. In time only you will know if you want to continue on with this new journey, but look at the examples, listen to the stories, one or two people may have become discouraged with the program, but millions will swear by it.
Member: mav
Location: here
Date: October 30, 2003
Time: 07:23 AM
No, Dietrich, millions are disturbed by the insidiuos evil of what "the program" has become, not one or two, just look at the coffepot. You also just displayed the very same ego and self-centeredness you spoke of on the pot as you too are so deeply brainwashed as to actually say things as you did above. I mean to imply that people who advance past all the silliness of what AA in reality is do not continue on their journey is not only arrogant, but erroneous. A much better, more full, and happier path at that. As a matter of fact, I am reaching out to others so they can quit wasting their lives in those silly rooms and live real life. The fools who are yes millions as you say are simply brainwashed beyond any true understanding of legitimate concepts and pragmatic applications of them to real life as they are indeed sicker than the others like me whom have been granted true freedom from far more than just alcohol....Newbies, if you're looking for a living prison where they will talk like Dietrich and coerce you into believing you "have to" go to meetings every day the rest of your life, go ahead, it's each individuals choice to make, I'm simply attempting to inform others as to what they are truly getting themselves into so that you may at least make a more informed choice and try a little critical thinking, the mark of a true thoughtful person. I pray all to be well whether you choose to stay in AA or not, I simply don't think nor believe everyone has to do what I did nor what any other idiot who drank like a pig did, you need to find your own path. Granted a little help is often required, but AA is an impediment to long-term spiritual growth, not an aid. I'm giving the long-range view and eternal truths, not some temporal, relativistic free-for-all hodgepodge of crap AA offers. Seek deep within yourself , look, listen, and learn, just do it in other places besides just sitting in metal chairs in AA rooms listening to same old stuff day after day, after day, etc. What a waste of human existence....sad, very sad....
Member: Ann
Location: Ohio
Date: October 30, 2003
Time: 08:17 AM
Hi, Ann here, and 29 days... thanks to all of you for your posts and reality lessons. I think that we all believe that we can cure ourselves in just a month or two, but reading your posts and looking back on my life, we can't. Alcohol or not, we all need to work on ourselves everyday, a day at a time. I think that meeting with a group of people that share the same concerns as you is great. Hearing the same stories I run in my head over and over is such an eye opener to me. I'm not alone, I can learn from others. So, whether you use the books and meetings of AA, or find yourself and come to terms with being you outside of AA doesn't really matter. What matters is that you are sober today. So, we don't need to hear anger. Although reading some posts makes me realize what I don't want to become. I want to become a compasionate human being, not someone who prejudges lays down MY law..with or without AA. Here's to being the best human being we can today, on our own terms. Thanks again to all of you for your posts.
Member: Lisa
Location: FL
Date: October 30, 2003
Time: 09:46 AM
Hi everyone, back to Day 1. Not sure what happened last night. I got home, went for a walk, and then went to a friends for dinner, my hands started to shake and I got lightheaded. I had to sit. A friend told me to relax, they were having a few beers and gave me one, told me to drinka little, maybe I needed some sugar. They don't know, well at least I haven't told them that I am trying to stop drinking. So I took the beer had one sip then another then downed it. A relief came over me and I went for another one and you know the rest. At least a friend MADE me stop, took my keys and listen to me yell for more. The worst part is knowing what an addict I looked like. God, its so scary. I saw other posts before that talked about shaking and I am not sure why that occurs. Its scary. Am I addicted or something, have I reached a new level of this alcoholism?
Member: Joel
Location: Wi
Date: October 30, 2003
Time: 10:03 AM
Well Ann, the DT's (delerium tremors) associated with alcohol will make you to shake and experience physical symptioms. I've never experienced them myslef, but have seen many other in detox, rehab, through working with other alcoholics. I've found that seeking professional help (medical doctors/phycologists/phychiatristsis)beneficial in dealing with physical symtoms of alcohol and drug abuse. Getting to meetings every day and working the program is what saved my life in the beginning though. But I had to want it...
Member: Lisa
Location: FL
Date: October 30, 2003
Time: 10:11 AM
((Joel)), the shakes that I experience call for medical attention? It doesn't just go away as I stop drinking. Is there anything that you can do yourself to ease them, I couldn't see telling my doctor that I have a drinking problem and as a result have shake attacks.
Member: Joel
Location: Wi
Date: October 30, 2003
Time: 10:26 AM
Lisa (not Ann, sorry), I was taught that how this program works is by being Honest, Open, and Willing. I chose to be honest with my doctors/therapists, open to their suggestions/directions, and willing to do the next right thing to recover from my hopeless state of mind and body. And it has worked, as my physical/medical issues have been remedied, and I've been sober in AA since 1995. My life was, and is, more important that my ego/pride.
Member: Carrie
Location: Los Angeles
Date: October 30, 2003
Time: 10:49 AM
Lisa, an alcoholic is an addict. An alcoholic doesn't have a "drinking problem" - it's more of a "life problem", we alcoholics can't live very well with out alcohol until we find a solution to our disease. There is a solution laid out in the Big Book, there is also a description of what alcoholism is. When sobriety becomes a life or death decision for you(believe me - I wasn't ready till things got really bad) then maybe you will be ready. I would suggest that you attend a meeting and get a Big Book so that you can get a better understanding of what alcoholism is, and in turn you might get a better understanding of yourself. Sobriety is a crazy, rewarding, sometimes really fucked up trip - my "reality" keeps changing and from where I stand today, I am a completely different person than I was a year ago when I came into AA. When I finally believed to the core of my soul that I am and will always be an ALCOHOLIC, I was able to start getting better. But it took me alot of time, work and a few relapses to get there. So hang in there everybody - if I was finally able to see the light, there is hope for all of us!! 9 months of sobriety and bravely trudging the road of happy destiny.
Member: Jerry
Location: New Jersey
Date: October 30, 2003
Time: 11:13 AM
Carrie, you need to be put to rest as that was not one single soitary word of your own, just more crap you are repeating from memorizing the brainwashing that's been performed upon you, so shutup!!! Lisa, go see a doctor, get some REAL help, NOT AA!!!
Member: Jerry
Location: New Jersey
Date: October 30, 2003
Time: 11:19 AM
Carrie, you need to be put to rest as that was not one single soitary word of your own, just more crap you are repeating from memorizing the brainwashing that's been performed upon you, so shutup!!! Lisa, go see a doctor, get some REAL help, NOT AA!!!
Member: Joel
Location: Wi
Date: October 30, 2003
Time: 11:21 AM
Jerry, In my experience, AA can't offer too much as far as curing physical ailments (aside from a member offering a bed to detox another alcoholic) but does offer a wonderful brain washing. I certainly needed my brain washed as it was covered (and filled) with bad thoughts, bad actions, selfish self-centeredness, simply put, my way didn't work, and I was mentally, emotionally, and spiritually bankrupt. I needed a new way of thinking...of living, and AA's simple program of action has given me that. Take care...
Member: mav
Location: yuppin
Date: October 30, 2003
Time: 11:50 AM
Everyone clap for Joel, he's just taken the prize for parrot-of-the-year and saying nothing of his own away from Carrielagirl....Hip-Hip-Hooray Joel!!!! Yeah!!! Now that your brain is thoroughly washed like I'm sure your underwear is too, do you have to keep running it through the rinse cycle over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over..... See what I mean jellybeans? I mean really now, how many times do you have to wash your brown-streaked undies before they are clean there Joelliejoel, tell us would ya? Do you think your brain needs to be washed every day the rest of your life or you'll get drunk again? Damn, they've done some good work on you boy, congratulations, you've won that award too---MOST-BRAINWASHED-OF-THE-DAY-AT-THE-CYBERSITE!! Yey for you!!!!
Member: mav
Location: yuppin
Date: October 30, 2003
Time: 11:50 AM
Everyone clap for Joel, he's just taken the prize for parrot-of-the-year and saying nothing of his own away from Carrielagirl....Hip-Hip-Hooray Joel!!!! Yeah!!! Now that your brain is thoroughly washed like I'm sure your underwear is too, do you have to keep running it through the rinse cycle over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over..... See what I mean jellybeans? I mean really now, how many times do you have to wash your brown-streaked undies before they are clean there Joelliejoel, tell us would ya? Do you think your brain needs to be washed every day the rest of your life or you'll get drunk again? Damn, they've done some good work on you boy, congratulations, you've won that award too---MOST-BRAINWASHED-OF-THE-DAY-AT-THE-CYBERSITE!! Yey for you!!!!
Member: Joel
Location: Wi
Date: October 30, 2003
Time: 12:05 PM
Mav, Your posts are entertaining, in a juvenile sort of way. I'd bet you'd fit right in at boards.ign.com in the Vestible room. I used to have an inferiority complex...AA helped me with that too. Remember, AA is a way to life, not a way of life.
Member: Lisa
Location: FL
Date: October 30, 2003
Time: 01:16 PM
I researched a little, and found a site on alcohol withdrawals. I found that the anxiety, the depression, the mood swings, the muscle spasims, the blackouts, the shaking, the problems concentrating, the everything that I have been going through, is all a part of alcohol withdrawals. It says that you need medicine to help get through these symptoms and that they get worse. I was wondering how long you have to go through withdrawal, how long do you have to take medicine?
Member:
Location:
Date: October 30, 2003
Time: 02:10 PM
SHUT UP MAV, YOUR NOTHING BUT A BIG BLOWHARD. TAKE YOUR MEDS AND SIT DOWN LIKE A GOOD LITTLE ALTER BOY. HAVE SOME MANNERS, YOU POSTING PIG, OINK!!
Member:
Location:
Date: October 30, 2003
Time: 02:29 PM
Lisa, I would suggest speaking with a doctor, he/she should be able to answer all of your questions. Most likely you'll need to go through a doctor anyway for any prescription meds.
Member: mark m
Location: columbia tn
Date: October 30, 2003
Time: 06:30 PM
well MAV you are liked here as much as the pot likes you please GO BACK THERE AND THE REST OF YOU DON'T DRINK AND GO TO MEETINGS LOVE YA'LL(yes this does included you mav)
Member: Jane C.
Location: Alaska
Date: October 30, 2003
Time: 10:15 PM
Jane C..alcoholic...JOEL, I agree with you 100 %..you have shared many worthwhile insights on this site..as for MAV, I scroll right past his posts..after reading one or two early on, why keep feeding his sickness..we're here to share the good news with other alcoholics who want to get sober, wether it's through AA FTF meetings, AA posting here or whatever works for the individual..we stay sick as long as we keep drinking..when we manage to get even a small amount of sobriety, we can hopefully look at ourselves and start to share the bad times we had with our drinking, then we go on trying to be as honest as we can until it just becomes a great habit and we automatically speak the truth..that's where I'm at now.. trying to get to total honesty.... God Bless you all, and have another sober day tomorrow..one day at a time, though it is the rest of my life...
Member:
Location:
Date: October 30, 2003
Time: 10:39 PM
Jane writes: we stay sick as long as we keep drinking That is correct Jane and when we stop drinking we get well,so why all the charades for teh rest of our lives of rehashing what we used to do.
Member: mark m
Location: columbia tn
Date: October 30, 2003
Time: 10:41 PM
hello to all, mark m here,alcoholic yes jane c you are right so with that i'll use the 9th step to make amends to all that i have harmed with my writing on this page (I'M SORRY JANE) PS JUST A LITTLE WAY TO REMEMBER THE FIRST 3 STEPS, IT IS I CANT,HE CAN, AND I THINK I'LL LET HIM once again i'm sorry for my writings
Member:
Location:
Date: October 30, 2003
Time: 11:44 PM
mark,yes you can even if you think it is him or her or them,it is ultimately you,if cant do anything what good are you to yourself and everyone else
Member: buzzsaw
Location: Detroit
Date: October 31, 2003
Time: 12:15 AM
Lisa - I researched alcohol and alcohol withdrawal quite throughouly before I quit. In fact, I started a vitamin supplement routine while I was still drinking in preparation for the withdrawals when I quit. I also saw 3 different doctors and explained to each of them my plan of action, one insisted I go inpatient, one prescribed appropiate meds for my own detox and the other was netural (how convient). I made it through ... I was drinking about a 12 pack a day (more on weekends) for about 10 years. I would be happy to explain what I did if you are interested. It was not as bad as I thought, although I set my mind up to prepare for the worst, so anything else was a pleasant suprize. You can do it. I had about 2 - 3 days of night sweats, and no real shaking, DT's and the other scary stuff. The key was to heal my cells before I acutally quit, to semi-detoxify your body to replace cells that are used (craving) alcohol with new ones that have no idea what alcohol is. And don't go the sugar route. You will just be making it worse, those who eat candy and such when they have a "craving" for a drink just satisfy the body with the sugar - just like drinking. The key is to ween, or cut the body off completely so there is no "craving" anymore. This was my experience. I have not had a drink in 50 some days, I know big whoop, but I never thought I would be this far. I used a few books - "how to quit drinking without AA" and "Beyond the Influence" - both helped me plan a diet and work on physical, spirtual, and mental needs. I am not a big AA fan, I went to meetings for like 3 to 4 months and got nothing but pushed and pulled around while I was told to do it "someone else's way". And followed a book that was just not me, and steps that I could not relate to. I had trouble with it from the beginning - "powerless over alcohol" - I am not powerless over alcohol, if anything I am empower myself to drink if I decide to. I found that AA was for a lot of people that had a lot more problems than just drinking. Like they say alcohol was a just a symptom, well I had no symptoms, I just liked to drink because I liked how it felt - I was not hiding from anything - but I drank too much. I was tired of someone trying to force ammends and underlying reasons why I drank while hearing there the same stories over and over. One of my biggest concerns was the involvment people wanted in AA, well I just wanted to quit drinking, and my higher power is the only thing that can help me do that. I was not ready to join a social club of defeated drinkers. I wanted to leave alcohol behind and not have it be any part of my life, and AA just made me relive it everytime. I need to move on with my life and AA only hinders me. Just my own experience, but I do know it is great for others. Sorry for the rant ... but quiting is not bad if you prepare first. Good luck and let me know if you want my "formula" - no guarantees but lots of good luck and support wishes!
Member: Ann
Location: Ohio
Date: October 31, 2003
Time: 07:08 AM
Day 29! wow! (Lisa), I have been reading your posts since your first days here, and it seems to me that you need to figure out if you really want to quit. I know for me, I had reached the end of my cord. Before that, I would quit for a couple of days, then drink, beat myself up, get sober again, drink, etc... I just couldn't go on the way it was any longer. I reached out and aked for help. I also found this website and my AA meetings. I do not surround myself with people who don't understand. Believe it or not, there are people who drink that can be an incredibly understanding and helpful for you. But there is the flip side and you know who is which. Stay away from the people who hand you a beer to stop the shakes. They don't mean you well and not to be mean, but because they don't understand. It's hard for us to even understand and we are the ones with the disease. Find yourself a good inpatient facility to get you thru that first week. It sounds to me like you need to get away from everything to concentrate on yourself. I'm sure that I speak for all of us when I say that all of us want the best for you and are here for you! Keep your chin up and take that first step. Let people know you are quitting drinking for you. And keep on posting, letting it out helps. Here's to another 24 hours of sobriety to all.
Member: Kathy K.
Location: Northeast
Date: October 31, 2003
Time: 08:02 AM
DONATELLO /LINDA - Northwest - we are NOT bad people - we are SICK people trying to get well. Drinking is NOT a sin so please put away the guilt. LISA - for good reason it is suggested we not get involved in a relationship the first year of sobriety. We need to concentrate on building a solid base for sobriety by attending lots of meetings, getting a sponsor AND using her, getting a home group, working for the good of that group., etc, Your friend can remain just that - a friend - for now. JIM B = NY - I read your comments re a sponsor telling you to find another job. Sorry- but I agree with him. Sobriety has got to become the most important thing in your life. Without it that $60K is worthless. sr - West Coast - you say you will get to a f2f "this week".,. why not go TODAY when you are hurting. In a few days the memory of your hangover will fade, and you'll be less inclined to go to a meeting. Lots of good advice posted - please listen to those with long-term sobriety. Let them show you the way. Their experience is priceless.... When I first came into AA I was told not to try to outsmart the Program. Thank God I listned to that advice. Celebrated 18 years last summer. What a journey!!!
Member: Lisa
Location: FL
Date: October 31, 2003
Time: 10:09 AM
Hi everyone, well I will have to say yesterday was my official Day 1. I had a great night. Had a discussion with the guy that I am seeing and he wants to quit with me. He wants to be my support. He really isn't a drinker anyway. So its very easy for him. That really made me feel good. I have only made one AA meeting and its just uncomfortable for me to go. So I am very excited to have someone there to help me. He lives in my complex so he's always around, its perfect for those times that usually come around 1:00 in the morning on a Saturday night and I can't convince myself any longer that going out and having fun with my friends is a bad idea. I got the shakes pretty bad three times and was having muscle spasms during the night. I had to take some tylenol pm to sleep. Got a "hangover" from them and feel like I could pass out right now though. I made an appointment to go see a doctor, someone new. I felt it would be easier than going to my docotor who knows me, I don't know, its just embarrasing. The appointment isn't until Monday. (buzzsaw) Thanks for the advice and yes I would like to talk about what plan you followed to help you. I think you view is one that seems to be what I want. I also don't have underlying issues for drinking, just like to drink. There is no reason or emotional problem that causes my drinking, its more so something that became a habit. Now its wierd to not go home and have a few or not go to happy hour after work, or go to the clubs on the weekend, or take a cooler to the beach, you know, all of that stuff. I also want this to be something that I conquer and get past, not something that I have to spend everyday talking about. I think that if I can get through this and do well as you are then that would be great, but if it doesn't work then I will just have to surrender to meetings. Please e-mail me. Thanks for the help
Member: Melissa
Location: Canada
Date: October 31, 2003
Time: 01:57 PM
Lisa's post really made me remember when I thought I was just a basically nice woman who drank too much. I found out differently, but that is my story and my path, not necessarily any other's. I've come to believe that it is possible for problem drinkers to conquer and get past a problem with alcohol, but not for alcoholics. But the only way to that conclusion was for me thru more drinking and yes, more suffering. AA has nothing to offer problem drinkers and everthing to offer the alcoholic. But it's been true since the very beginning that establishing what we are is our journey. If I could have stopped drinking on my own, I wouldn't be here. If you think that makes me a weak-willed person, you're free to think that. But I've come to think that I am not a weak-willed person, only an alcoholic. And there is a solution for that. I went thru all of Buzzsaw's remedies and plans and they did not work for me because I am an alcoholic. But I do believe they will work for a problem drinker. That's the whole point of being human - we are quite free to work out what will work for us (not for the other person, just for us). By process of elimination and self-control and trying everything under the sun except a spiritual solution, I arrived at the conclusion that only a spiritual solution would relieve me of the obsession to drink. Why? Because it was the only thing left to try and when I tried it, it worked. But there are no shortcuts, not in addiction and not in life. Love and encouragement to all the newcomers.
Member: Kathy D
Location: So Cal
Date: October 31, 2003
Time: 03:51 PM
KathyD alcoholic, I stopped drinking 10/29, drank 10/30. Trying again today. I read Melissas comments and wonder how to get that true spiritual experience. I have been in and out for years. I do what is suggested and do the steps and yet I get to a point where the discomfort is so overwhelming that the only option I see to escape that feeling is to drink. I guess I am not able to just sit with those feelings. I get too overwhelmed. I had a horrid falling out with my sons father yesterday and after his completely insane personal attacks I was so upset and so afraid for our son that I felt I had to drink. I know life is always going to be full of these sorts of issues and that I cant drink everytime it gets tough. But again I dont know how not to. And to tell me to "just dont pick it up" doesnt work, I have tried to just not do it. I have everything at stake. My sons custody, my husband, family trust, my health - life yet I continue to sabotage and drink. I was supposed to go to a meeting yesterday but then I got into that big fight and so.....please help
Member: TOM M
Location: SC
Date: October 31, 2003
Time: 07:36 PM
It's Day 35 and I have all of you to thank for all the support. (KathyD)You're going to have to make-up your mind. If you truly want to quit, you will find a way. You have to stop making excuses. I used to think I was hopeless. I would allow a simple disagreement to escalate into a fight so I could rationalize my drinking that night. 'I need to calm my nerves.' or 'I just want to get numb.' No matter what line I used, it boiled down to one truth. I was hiding from the world. It took me going to jail to wake me up. I'm fortunate, no one was hurt during my last drunk. But I finally realized that next time I may not be so lucky. So I've chosen to begin this long and arduous journey. I'm currently attending meetings, reading/posting on this sight and seeing a therapist for my troubles. I don't know what it's going to take to finally open your eyes, but I hope it's soon. Please join me in 24 hours of sobriety.
Member:
Location:
Date: October 31, 2003
Time: 08:48 PM
I've been reading this site everyday trying to come to a conclusion whether AA is helpful or not. Can I do this on my own? Or do I seek out help? The only thing I realized that was helpful, is that its a connection, and a support line. Some people benefit from it, some people don't. Maybe some people need to be "brainwashed" to overcome their problem. Maybe they have a lot of other problems going along with their alcoholism. I myself do feel it is a choice, whether to pick up a drink or not, many people on here have proved that although they believe it was AA that helped them along. They did in fact have their own willpower to do it, just a few right words and it triggered in them the power to stop. On the other hand, a few wrong words could easily cause someone to stumble. To Mav, as jerky as you can be, I think I can understand where your coming from. And to all the people that benefits from this.. more power to you. God bless
Member: Amber
Location: USA
Date: October 31, 2003
Time: 10:32 PM
Buzzsaw - I would really like to know how you prepared yourself to quit drinking. To help stop the withdrawal symptoms. My drinking habits are much like yours were. I find I can go a few days but by day 5 I am so anxious. Please share how you prepared yourself - it would so help me. Thanks!
Member: buzzsaw
Location: Detroit
Date: November 01, 2003
Time: 12:33 AM
I would love to Amber. I will save everyone the time I do not know if it is appropiate to post it here. So, if you would like to email buzz_saw21@yahoo.com, I will hollar back at ya. Can you believe it is my first Halloween sober? Man, this was the holiday where weed and acid went so well with sitting on the porch cracking a few cold ones and watching goblins go by. Halloween is a bore sober. Oh well, I am sober - no hangover tomorrow !
Member: Ann
Location: Ohio
Date: November 01, 2003
Time: 06:47 AM
DAY 30! A big milestone for me, but just a beginning. Here's to another sober 24 and congratulations (tom M) on 35! Thanks to all who have shared their feelings and thoughts.
Member: TOM M
Location: SC
Date: November 01, 2003
Time: 08:05 AM
(Ann)CONGRATULATIONS ON 30!!!It is a big milestone. We've come too far to give it up now. Let's go another 24. (Buzzsaw) This was my first sober Halloween as well. No hangover and no guilt trips. It's actually quite nice. Thanks for the support everyone.
Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: November 01, 2003
Time: 09:32 AM
Hi All, Its a beautiful Saturday and I'm sober to enjoy it! It was a big week for me. I picked up my 1 year medallion Thursday night in front of my family and friends in the program. 4 of my friends also got theirs too. It was really nice. My Mom came from out of state, we went out to dinner after, it was cool! It meant so much to me because it came at such a cost. Today I feel right where I am supposed to be. If you are new and confused about how to get sober my only advice is to keep coming back here and reading and posting. I came here before I got sober to read others experiences. The time came where I knew I had to surrender to get sober. It happened when I was ready. I could not do it without AA. I needed the support and fellowship of people that understood as only another drunk can. My family loves me but they will never understand it. They liked the meeting and it helped them dispel the preconceived notions that we are all a bunch of low lifes. I even thought that myself about AA before I got into it. We are just a bunch of drunks trying to get better and it works. Good reading everyone here and keep coming back! Kelly :)
Member: Ed
Location: Virginia
Date: November 01, 2003
Time: 11:43 AM
Came across this group today for the first time and decided I would add my two cents worth. Tried AA earlier this year after quitting as a result of a 6 day hospital stay (heart problems, but I owned up to my alcohol abuse because I didn't know if the drinking was responsible for how bad I felt). The first few meetings I felt more at home than I had anywhere else for a long time. In time, however, a few things began to bother me. For one, many of those who had been sober for some time made no effort at all to clean up the other things in their life. I also got real tired of hearing "my higher power" with no explanation of what that might be. But probably the thing that affected me most was the heirarchical nature of the organization. It is unofficial of course, but its clear that those sober the longest are at the top of the heap. It's no doubt a sign of my own lack of humility that that bothered me, but it did. So after 2 months of sobriety I dropped out and was back to drinking just like before in a matter of days. So where does that leave me. Don't know, but I'll have to do something soon. I've read some of the same books as Buzzsaw, so maybe I'll go back and take another look. For now, I'm glad I found an online support group. Good luck to all of you. And, to quote Arnold, I'll be back.
Member: Jane C.
Location: Alaska
Date: November 01, 2003
Time: 01:32 PM
Jane C...alcoholic..I posted here yesterday and pushed the wrong key and lost it all..and was too tired to do it over...Ann, good for you 30 days..I remember well how great I felt..for almost 3 years I tried on and off to quit and finally found this site, after much talking to God..I really feel that he led me here, because I had such a hard time in meetings..ED..I'm so happy that you found this site..I've been sober from the very first time that I posted here..I"ve been sober using this site alone and with the Grace of God..You can stay sober here if you really want it, and I think you do..sometimes I tell myself that it would really be nice to have a glass of wine to relax or with diiner..but I know it would be a death sentence for me, so I really make an effort to stay away from places and people that might cause me to pick up a drink...the people on this site are all really helping not just me, but everyone here..meetings are hard for me..I have social phobias and feel so shaky sometimes, that I want to leave the room..so this site is all I have for now..I know that AA works, but like you and others, I find that sometimes I feel out of the loop..the oldtimers do tend to take over, and you saw for yourself that they don't know it all..some are still very angry that sometimes I think they have to feel that they are above others..they feel superior because of their years spent sittine in those rooms..not all, just some.. Keep posting and reading here..I know in my heart that you can do it..(Kelly)..great..one year..I can remember that one too..years ago, the first time I got sober..I was a total wreck..talking and shaking and wishing I could be just anywhere else but standing in front of a room full of people accepting my year chip...but I made 18 years sober.. by not taking drink, doing 6 years in AA and the rest on my own,doing a meeting only now and then..it can be done by some of us..my Father never went to meetings, but when he stopped, he stayed sober until he died, and that was 17 years, on his own..he just said..no more..I love this site and all of you people..this is where I get to remind myself where I had been and where I am today and I like today so much better...God give us all another sober day and week-end..
Member: Ed
Location: Virginia
Date: November 01, 2003
Time: 02:10 PM
Thank you Jane for your words of encouragement. One thing I left out of why I left AA is something you brought up -- phobias. I'm retired now, but in my earlier career I was required to speak publicly fairly frequently. My original stage fright, which I could work through, gradually turned into full-fledged panic attack. Medication helped, but I don't take it any more. At one AA meeting, I was asked to do the big book reading. Got about two-thirds of the way thru it and stopped. Explained why and then struggled thru the rest of it. Made it but hated it. (No, that's not when I quit AA.) I suspect a link between my overly hyper anxiety and my drinking, but I can't put my finger on it. Again, thanks Jane. Glad I found this site.
Member: DUANE P
Location: AZ
Date: November 01, 2003
Time: 05:04 PM
WELL JOINING A HOME GROUP, I JUST JOINED THE FIRST ONE THAT CAME UP, BUT I WOULDN'T RECOMMEND THAT TO EVERYONE, TRY TO FIND ONE YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE IN, AND MAKE A COMMITMENT TO STAY.THANKS, DUANE
Member: FOR ALL THE NEWCOMERS....
Location: AND FOR SOME WHO ARENT NEW, BUT REALLY STRUGGLING......
Date: November 01, 2003
Time: 06:03 PM
If you are new; you may find this path a bit of a "trudge" for maybe even years. getting clean and sober was the hardest, but most important thing i have ever done <<and a close second was helping out someone else to do the same thing. There were times in the early going when i had almost nothing. no job. no partner. no friends, other than those i knew in aa, and only enough money to help the landlord pay for his mortgage, i ate the cheapest food you could buy with little or no food value and if i had a absess tooth that needed to come out, well too bad for me if it was in the front of my face, as welfare only pays to have them yanked. i had no family support; (probably cause they were on to my act, and they were no doubt sick of being sadenned/victimized to me, but of course it was everybody else's fault but mine; don't ya know. So there i was, i think i suffered from self pity for years, as i couldnt pull it together for any reason, i stayed on welfare for years and stayed depressed, hurting and angry at the world ((but i went to meetings and did all the suggested stuff)) (some of my hurt and anger was because i truly had been hurt and abused.. (and recongnizing that only helped me to make my own life even harder, cause now i wallowed in the woe is me act even more; really believing i had a right to be as miserable as i made myself (sheesh!)and then expect others to hang around and expose themselves to the legend i was in my own mind (ha ha ha. i can laugh at myself now)) Sometimes people/sponsors would get tired of my downer lifestyle and they would put it right on me, as to what i needed to do if i wanted to change; (and instead of listening i would get really pissed at them, fire them, and yakity yak at any one who would listen to "yet another woe is me tale; can you belive what so and so did to me? add nausem. And when this made me feel worse i would get even more sorry for me, gee wiz! i would think "where are all the well and wonderful people who i deserved to have as friends? so the moral of the story is, i was a walking nightmare, totally sober and going to meetings and doing the suggested stuff and wanting it all right now and being confused most of the time as to why i didn't have everything i wanted as soon as i wanted it,(nevermind my regular habit of poor choices and laziness, character defects in full swing, add infinitum. (and it still baffles me that i was even totlerated in aa, although i almost totally blew it there a few times, as i stole from the kitty, and used people to fill up on instead of gettin a life for myself. i scouted around all the time, for pals and down and outters in the early going of aa. my point is; this is often normal "newcomer" behaviour. and the sooner i could accept and realize how sick i was; and that there was plenty wrong with me about which plenty had to be done (big book quote).... i could finally relax a bit and start feeling some peace and "patiently and persistently try to right the wrongs in me"... (daily reflections quote)) and i started to realize it was not such a shock to be so sick, and it was okay that i wasn't well, and that it was going to take some time to fix me, and i was suppose to be sick...after all, i didn't get to aa because i was already some upstanding model citizen... (but of course in my deluded mind i thought i was all that and a bag of chips, do i still trudge?.. yes after many years i still do trudge' at times... but my life had improved 1000 percent ((finally)) thanx to my persistance,god,the fellowship and the steps...i started to listen to the ones who has done it, i did those steps 100's of times and i went to meetings sometimes 2 a day cause what else ya gonna do while depressed on welfare?... and i got involved pretty heavy in service work, and so on and so forth,,at times i was scared stiff, but i went anyway and made it through the feelings, they didn't kill me after all. sometimes i would slack off, and have to start over, but i never gave up for good... only for short periods of time,, and there was no quick fix, it took time,, i no longer have a problem or any related problems from drinking alcohol,
Member: John K.
Location: Nashville, TN
Date: November 01, 2003
Time: 08:03 PM
Hi Gentlemen and ladies. I recently had 45 days clean and put myself in a situation where I should not have been, or rather yet, I am way to early in recovery to be anywhere where alcohol is served. Changing people, places and things is very important, and I found that out real quick. Today I have 13 days clean, and I look at my relapse as a stepping stone to my recovery and there is nothing out their that has changed, that's for damn sure! I am currently in a recovery house by the grace of God. I have a wife and a 3 yr old whom I dearly love, however I cannot have a family unless I focus on myself and my recovery. That must come first, and I am finally relizing that. I would appreciate any advice anyone of you have (besides keep coming back). :) Much appreciated.
Member: John K.
Location: Nashville, TN
Date: November 01, 2003
Time: 08:12 PM
Sorry about not speaking about the topic, I do have a home group and it is very important. Getting to know other alcoholics as friends and doing service work helps me, simply cleaning up after a meeting such emptying ash trashs, etc helps me inside. Much Love Addicts!
Member:
Location:
Date: November 01, 2003
Time: 09:21 PM
John,the reason you get something out of emptying ashtrays is because you are trying so hard to fit in and be accepted by the oldtimers.
Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: November 01, 2003
Time: 11:13 PM
Hi ((All)), Sorry to double dip but something came to me tonight at my homegroup. I am the bookie for the meeting and have been since 3 months sober. It was one of the best things I ever did because it got me involved, speaking... which is very hard for me because I panic at times, and I get to meet people from 3 states. It is getting active in my own recovery and it keeps me sober and coming back. This is for Ed. You commented about your dislike of certain things in the meetings so you stopped going. I did the same thing my first time around as many do. I relapsed shortly after and was out for 6 horrible years till I hit bottom. I needed to do that, hit bottom. Well, for me it was more like the journey to the center of the earth than bottom...! I have to play out everything till the end and that is a character defect of mine. Like the song, "You gotta know when to hold em and know when to fold em,...Smart people know about that, I'm learning! What I'm trying to say is AA is for people that want it not people that need it. A lot of people need to sober up but only the truely willing do sober up. I have to (identify) and not (compare) in meetings. When I start comparing I'm taking my will back. Tonight I thought about it and what made me sober up was {Willingness}. Wanting it was not enough. Half measures availed us nothing. As with any turning point in my life it took a lot of work. It is sooo worth it though. Good luck! To: For all the newcomers, I could really relate. Words of wisdom and humilty! Hi Jane, Thanks, It was a really great night I won't forget. With God's grace and surrendering my will I hope to put some time together. Another thing I must remember is that it not about how much time I have in AA but the quality of my recovery. I don't kiss any (old timers) asses either. I get as much from a newcomer as people with many years. If I don't care for someone in a meeting I find a different meeting or I pray for the person and I usually come around. I earned my seat and no one is going to take it from me. Especially over something (I) need to work on. For me it's the whiners. Poor me, poor me, pour me another drink types. It turns out they remind me of my old self, selfish and full of self-pity. What amazes me is that the very person I resent is the one that is first to give me a hand up when I'm dangling off the cliff. John, Keep coming back. It works if you work it, one small step at a time. Keep trudging! Peace. Kelly :)
Member: Want my children
Location:
Date: November 02, 2003
Time: 01:08 AM
I went to the third meeting of my life tonight.I heard all the same things, all the same scenerios. I asked myself how the hell is this gonna help me? I know all this, I've read everything there is to kow about alcoholism...it still does nothing for me. I have a very bad marital situation that I have to contend with... but yet, if Idon't deal with my alcohism.. which helps me cope, to a point, I can't have anything.. Im so confused.. God please help me
Member: here's the facts Ed
Location: just stop drinking an ddo positive things that 99.9999% of what most problem drinkers do
Date: November 02, 2003
Time: 01:10 AM
http://aorange1.tripod.com/orange-cult_a4.html Ed read this info,it will reveal to you that Kelly has indeed been brainwashed to the max.Kelly it is ok for you to read it too,especially all of the slogans that are now your new language.
Member: Brian B
Location: Thailand, (Steering Committee, StayingCyber)
Date: November 02, 2003
Time: 01:28 AM
Any newcomers, please ignore the above post. We have been plagued in StayingCyber with a plethora of virulent anti-AA posts for some time, just listen to the regular members who have real, true AA experiences to share. Ignore these sick - posters with their agenda to discredit AA. We will soon have a sign-in to post site; and we hopefully be rid of the sicko. (sicko's)..
Member: Sal
Location:
Date: November 02, 2003
Time: 01:55 AM
right on share there kelly girl... always like reading what you post, makes alot of sense, you know its really encouraging to see someone on the right track and so full of hope like Kelly)) ((John ; about your family and your sobriety; easy does it, go slow and try to take it easy on your self and your family, it can be such a scary time of change when you are in the early going, and not just for you, but for your family also, i was taught to get together with your fam and all of you try to take it easy on each other, lots of prayers are always useful (if you chose to use prayer that is) Many times in the early years, it seemed that my prayers were useless, but it was simply that i would pray, but continue to do the same folly stuff right after that.. ya)) i was kind of insane for a long time in sobriety. i really encourage you to read the family afterwards in the big book, it helped me out big time, i hope it will help you.
Member: Sal
Location:
Date: November 02, 2003
Time: 01:56 AM
right on share there kelly girl... always like reading what you post, makes alot of sense, you know its really encouraging to see someone on the right track and so full of hope like Kelly)) ((John ; about your family and your sobriety; easy does it, go slow and try to take it easy on your self and your family, it can be such a scary time of change when you are in the early going, and not just for you, but for your family also, i was taught to get together with your fam and all of you try to take it easy on each other, lots of prayers are always useful (if you chose to use prayer that is) Many times in the early years, it seemed that my prayers were useless, but it was simply that i would pray, but continue to do the same folly stuff right after that.. ya)) i was kind of insane for a long time in sobriety. i really encourage you to read the family afterwards in the big book, it helped me out big time, i hope it will help you.
Member:
Location:
Date: November 02, 2003
Time: 03:03 AM
Want my children, Are you willing to go to any lengths to get sober? Are you ready to give up your will to a power greater than you? Are you as willing as the dying? If not your probably not ready yet. It's ok because when you are AA will still be here. Your asking for help and that is a great start. Wanting your children is a good motivator but it won't get or keep you sober. You have to want it for yourself.
Member: bradj
Location: slc
Date: November 02, 2003
Time: 05:10 AM
i am brad i am alcoholic. s0ber since.july 4 2003. new to computers bear with me please. look for a friend to talk to.heather told me about this site .