Member: Yvonne
Location: Scotland
Date: September 28, 2003
Time: 04:24 AM

Comments

((Joe C))..I find the AA book called Living Sober invaluable for giving practical advice on how to stay sober in those first days. It is available at most AA meetings but can also be ordered online from the official AA website. I also found picking up the phone and talking to another alcoholic always helped me through those terrible craving nights. Posting on here helped too...as frequently as I needed to. On the practical side...drinking lots of sweet drinks seems to help too. The cravings do pass and eventually become less. Good luck! ((Dennis))..thank you for a very good post. ((My friend))..I read your link and agree that AA is not perfect. I can't think of any group that is. But it does work for me. I need the support of other people, I like the positive changes that working the programme has brought into my life and have exercised my freedom of choice to continue belonging to AA...with my eyes wide open and the hope that any negative aspects can be openly discussed and addressed! Here in UK we do have official guidelines draughted to protect newcomers from any form of harrassment or discrimination. I can appreciate that you might have strong views but would ask that you give us the courtesy here of treating us like intelligent adults. This page is up for a whole week. Perhaps you could post your link once a week and then allow people to make up their own minds. Belittling people for their views does not do your case much good...you seem to be using the same methods that you accuse some oldtimers in AA of using...eg.if I don't accept your point of view then my imaginary disease is running my life! At this moment I am freely choosing to stick with something that has completely changed my life for the better. It has given me the confidence to get out in the world and study for a degree, to join a gym, to buy my own house, to travel and to make new friends. I can only pass on my own experiences to other people and so far my experience is that AA has helped me to stay sober. I'll always be grateful for that. Love Yvonne


Member: Anne S
Location: glasgow scotland
Date: September 28, 2003
Time: 07:45 AM

Comments

i agree totally with the living sober book point.it helped me an awful lot when i first came to aa.i am awful at sharing as i am deeply ashamed of much of my life and it kept things simple for me.i wouldnt have cowhere with me for a couple of years.its also the only book i recommend to newcomers because it is so simple.thanks Yvonne your posts are always good for me.odaat


Member:
Location:
Date: September 28, 2003
Time: 08:20 AM

Comments

((Yvonne)) and ((Anne S.)) Thank you for the tip. I'll look into the "Living Sober" book right away. I DID make it through my first sober night. I know that is NOT a big deal to most of you, but for me it was a giant step. I actually got up this morning and had a nice breakfast and I don't have a headache or feel sick. Joe C.


Member: Anne S
Location: glasgow scotland
Date: September 28, 2003
Time: 09:10 AM

Comments

joe.its a big deal coz after a good sleep you feel more refreshed and a bit stronger.theres a slogan in aa.HALT its just dont get too Hungry,Angry,Lonely,Tired.avoid the four of them and it does help.hope this is some use to you.aint it great to waken sober and not have to go thru that horrible post mortem of last nights actions and feelings and the guilt that goes with it?good to talk to you guy,i wish you welll.KEEP IT SIMPLE!!!


Member: Sarah
Location: Kansas City
Date: September 28, 2003
Time: 09:28 AM

Comments

Experience, strenth, and hope. Well, the most interesting aspect of this to me is that my personal EXPERIENCE, STRENGTH, and HOPE is all intimately intertwined with others. I don't see myself as having to share my personal trials with another alcoholic of nearly as much significance as I do sharing different ideas, views, and opinions with others as culturally, socio-economically, politically, and religiously different than myself. That very fact gives me the most HOPE for humanity in that we are all much more alike, even in our differences, than I had once thought and believed. Becoming somewhat of a "crusader" to bring this message to everything I do in my life has created conflict within various AA factions at times and yet my STRENGTH is ever increasing because of the HOPE I get from others and the EXPERIENCE I see and hear, every bit as much simply from I personally have done or am doing. All of our EXPERIENCE is is far more than that and I am often saddened when others get stuck in sharing strictly about alcohol as that is but a minute part of anyone's true life EXPERIENCE and I HOPE others find that out much sooner than later.......


Member: Sarah
Location: Kansas City
Date: September 28, 2003
Time: 09:28 AM

Comments

Experience, strenth, and hope. Well, the most interesting aspect of this to me is that my personal EXPERIENCE, STRENGTH, and HOPE is all intimately intertwined with others. I don't see myself as having to share my personal trials with another alcoholic of nearly as much significance as I do sharing different ideas, views, and opinions with others as culturally, socio-economically, politically, and religiously different than myself. That very fact gives me the most HOPE for humanity in that we are all much more alike, even in our differences, than I had once thought and believed. Becoming somewhat of a "crusader" to bring this message to everything I do in my life has created conflict within various AA factions at times and yet my STRENGTH is ever increasing because of the HOPE I get from others and the EXPERIENCE I see and hear, every bit as much simply from I personally have done or am doing. All of our EXPERIENCE is is far more than that and I am often saddened when others get stuck in sharing strictly about alcohol as that is but a minute part of anyone's true life EXPERIENCE and I HOPE others find that out much sooner than later.......


Member:
Location:
Date: September 28, 2003
Time: 02:14 PM

Comments

((Anne S.)) I guess it WAS a big deal after all to be sober for one day. I was actually able to take my son out to the lake and we caught a bunch of Bass....We put them back , of course :-) Then I took him food shopping. These are things I could never do waking up sick as a dog. I am real glad I found this page. I know it's a lifelong journey, but at least I have confronted my problem and I am addressing it. Write anytime, OK, and Thank you. Joe Cal


Member: robert s
Location:
Date: September 28, 2003
Time: 04:14 PM

Comments

E,S&H are what we give to each other to help ourselves and each other to stay sober through any and all things that might causeus to drink. your going through a certain thing and not drinking will help me if or when i go through the same thing so no matter what happens when i ask god to guide me and i to the best of my ability try to do his will and then i share it with others do i get to keep this gift called sobority.


Member: Les
Location: San Diego
Date: September 28, 2003
Time: 11:00 PM

Comments

My experience has been that alcoholism destroyed what would have otherwise been a very successful life for my family and I (me). Because of grave emotional and mental disorders I sought relief from alcohol and drugs. They made me feel better and I did not kill myself, but did nothing to help my relations with others in fact they made social interactions worse. Eventually, of course, the drugs and the alcohol separately or together did not work and eventually I crossed an invisible line and no longer had any control, whatsoever, over my drinking. I drank continually while awake (or conscious). One night, in a semi-blackout, I had a moment of clarity and saw that my drinking had to stop. I tried, with no success to stop drinking. I had lost the ability to choose whether or not to put alcohol in my body. It was suggested by an in-law that I might try AA, about which I knew nothing. I gathered what courage (strength) I could muster and went to an AA Meeting. I did not like anything I encountered in that first Meeting except that the people looked sober. Now, if they had my problems, I considered myself unique, they'd be drinking, or so I thought. I went to Meetings for six months, anyway, before getting to one sober, but kept hoping that I might find a way to quite drinking. About a month after quitting drinking forever I had another drink and as that booze went down my throat I admitted to my innermost self, for the first time, that I was alcoholic and not unique at all. That admission allowed me to swallow enough false pride to ask for help and take the Steps in the order presented following the direction given in the book, Alcoholics Anonymous. That last drink happened sixteen years ago. Since then, one of the invaluable lessons I've learned from AA is to give people what the want and need. If someone wants or needs something morally reprehensible to me, or that I cannot give I've learned to walk away and do my best to let them be. I continue to hope that all alcoholics coming to AA have as good a luck with the program as have I.


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: September 29, 2003
Time: 01:01 AM

Comments

Hi ((All)), Kelly here and still an alcoholic. This topic is near and dear to me. My experience, strength and hope is cultivated daily in meetings talking to other alcoholics. When I first came in I was on the receiving end of it because I had nothing to give. Now it is turning around to where I'm giving back way more than I'm taking. Of course every person that shares is giving me their ES&H and it enriches me. Helping another alcoholic really helps to keep me sober by giving back what was so freely given to me when I was new and scared. I could have not done this alone and I did not have to in AA. AA taught me my way does not work, to get humble and do the work to reap the benefits. The benefits are too great to even get into but here is one example of ES&H working through me. There is a new woman that is confused, scared and drowning in her own wreckage. She does all the newbie things we do, talks in meetings, is extemely needy and will bend your ear for an hour with all her problems and is an open book about her past and present troubles. You just want to throw her a life preserver. It's so hard because it reminds you of yourself when you were just new. I extended my hand and began chatting with her. I got her going in the Big Book by asking her to read 'The Doctors Opinion'/ Step 1, and I try and keep her in today. She wants a place to live and to get her kids back and she wants it done yesterday. She gets impatient when I reel her back in from her problems. She only knows problems and that is her life. I firmly tell her that yesterday is history and tomorrow is a mystery so lets live today in today. I say it a lot and I think she is starting to get it. I go home feeling better for trying to help this woman. When I was new I took the suggestions and now I am firmly planted in sobriety and all I can do is pass it on. I am also getting the benefit of doing 12th step work. Its a win, win thing. Way cool! Nice share ((Les)). ((Joe Cal)) sounds like an awesome day and it only gets better each day I swear. You have just today and you made the most of it. Thanks (everyone) for sharing. Kelly :)


Member: Carrie
Location: los angeles
Date: September 29, 2003
Time: 02:19 AM

Comments

Congratulations Joe, a huge deal. When we forget what it was like to get through those first sober days and nights, we are in deep trouble. It sucks getting sober - it's hard and uncomfortable, but the rewards start comming in pretty quickly and they never stop -as long as we hang in there and do the best that we can. I am in my first year of sobriety, got 8 months on the 20th, and I think for this first year all we really have to do is just not drink, no matter what. From that and going to meetings I now have a God I trust more and more each day, I am becomming a person that I never thought I could be and for the first time in my life I have hope that anything is possible. It's such a struggle in the begining, just hang in there and roll with the punches - IT GETS EASIER, I PROMISE. But you'll never know if you take that drink.


Member: a.s.
Location: gb
Date: September 29, 2003
Time: 08:58 AM

Comments

joe c its called recovery when you do something for someone esle without seeking glory,something like taking your kid to the park for instance.you made my day guy,thank you for that.its not the easiest way to live some days but its easier than the way i used to be.i think the best bit for me is simply having choice in my life,i choose to not lift that booze just for today,i choose to try to help others as best i can without prejudice,and i choose to be part of aa which is a choice of being willing to learn.so many choices....not bad for an ex-drunk.keep it up,you have a lot to offer in life.good luck,god speed,keep it very simple.recovery wants you!!!!


Member: Maverick
Location: Reality
Date: September 29, 2003
Time: 09:12 AM

Comments

Disregard the parrot-talk of Les and Kelly, that's irrelevant to life. We ALL stop drinking the same way, we don't drink it--period! NOT hard! That is one minor experience in life and my strength is not of myself, nor my hope that all will eventually lead a life not so focused on the silliness of constantly talking about not drinking. It is easy---DON'T do it--simple as that---let's all pray for those like Les and Kelly who are so far gone as to not have a clue that they don't know they don't know, a worse hell all to it's own.......


Member: Maverick
Location: Reality
Date: September 29, 2003
Time: 09:12 AM

Comments

Disregard the parrot-talk of Les and Kelly, that's irrelevant to life. We ALL stop drinking the same way, we don't drink it--period! NOT hard! That is one minor experience in life and my strength is not of myself, nor my hope that all will eventually lead a life not so focused on the silliness of constantly talking about not drinking. It is easy---DON'T do it--simple as that---let's all pray for those like Les and Kelly who are so far gone as to not have a clue that they don't know they don't know, a worse hell all to it's own.......


Member: bob
Location: california
Date: September 29, 2003
Time: 11:12 AM

Comments

bob here, alcoholic, 5th day without drink. Yesterday morning I remembered something. I remembered where I left my phone ... it wasn't plugged in and could have been in any of a dozen places. First thing in the morning, rather than having to go looking for it, I was able to remember exactly where I left it the night before. It made me think about all the times I couldn't remember stuff in the morning. Or how I'd have to go check to see what's missing or what's empty to know how much I drank the night before. Today, I don't have to look in the garbage can to figure out how much I drank last night or to figure out how I'm going to feel for the rest of the day.


Member: bob
Location: california
Date: September 29, 2003
Time: 12:52 PM

Comments

bob here, alcoholic, 5th day without drink. Yesterday morning I remembered something else. I remembered that there was a time when I could drink a few beers or share a bottle of wine, and then stop. I remembered that a 1.5 liter of wine was usually good for the whole week and that if I really wanted to spend the evening drinking, all I needed was a half pint. Even then, maybe I drank more than a gentleman, and even then, there were enough other occasions when I was certainly not a gentleman (at least not a sober one). But the thing is, I had completely forgotten that I used to be generally satisfied with what now seems like such inconsequential amounts. There is more about this that I have recalled and that I'm thinking through. But for now, I'm thinking about what conclusion to draw from this memory: (A) I can't control this (reality); or (B) maybe I could drink in moderation (yes, what a great fantasy). This could be like self-administered lie detector test.


Member: Jane C.
Location: Alaska
Date: September 29, 2003
Time: 02:31 PM

Comments

Jane C. an alcoholic...The week-end if over, and I'm still sober..we all have to make the same decision, every day, and that's not to take the first drink..I was addicted ;to taking the easy way out of my pain.. have a drink or two, but it never stopped at that...the first time I ever had a drink, I drank myself into a blackout...I was very young and never touched alcohol again until after my sons were born and I found that I was married to an abusive man..drinking made it tolerable to stay in the marriage..today I choose not to drink.I don't look too far ahead..it could be dangerous..but I do have hope that I will stay sober, by choosing one day at a time, not to pick up that first nasty drink.. I know that God is watching over me, especially after reading an e-mail last night from an in-law who keeps me informed about the goings on in my Moms life, and how I am not sharing in doing my part, which is to go back to N.Y. and move in with her, and in my case, watch her live in her Valium world..my Mom has been hooked on them for over 28 years and won't accept the fact that she is an addicct, by now at her age of 90 past all ability to have control over anything in her life...I really queestion her Doctors, and why they still give them to her..she has a few that she frequents..my daughter-in-law has told me that everytime she goes to the MD..she gets a new prescription for those pills..some MD.s just don't care enough about the elderly, they want the MONEY...if I was ever going to pick up the drink again, it would have been yesterday..so much guilt was thrown at me, more than enough for a lifetime..and if the truth be known, and they know it, but won't acknowledge it, I'm the last person they should expect to run to their rescue..My husband, when he was alive,along with myself had done more than any other family member would ever consider doing..we sold homes twice, losing profit, to move in with her..we believed the lies she told..My Mothers valium life has turned her into the greated liar ever, and I hear it all the time, but no one has tried to help her, I'm the only one who will confront her on this issue..they all know that I'm an alcoholic, but they never mention it..and to finish this rambling, I know that if I go back there, it would very definitly threaten my sobriety along with my chance to have a life of my own.every move I make would be questioned, and I'd end up a very lonely woman because I'd end up feeling bad for my Mom and would probably give in to her whims..when it came to her, I could NEVER win.. I think maybe I'm a little angry, but I have a hard time letting it out..since I stopped drinking, I have some kind of crazy serenity that I don't really understand.. I wish I could scream and throw things and tell everyone be damned, but I never got into any confrontation with my siblings, or in-laws..and I don't want to start now..I have and want to maintain any peace that I may have.God give us all another sober day..


Member: Becky
Location: Seattle
Date: September 29, 2003
Time: 04:33 PM

Comments

Becky here, alcoholic. Thanks all for the postings. Joe, one day sober is HUGE. I'm at 6 weeks plus a few days and am grateful for each and every day I wake up with that clear head, Bob, your post nearly made me cry. I like being able to remember crap again too. Jane, thanks for sharing, guilt is such a bad motivator. Those who use it on you are tring to get rid of their own. I'm learning to let go of my wishes for a mother who is normal...and not get drawn into her bad choices...not always easy when they try and suck you back in. I've distanced myself and am okay that I'll have things to do when she passes (she's 81), but now because I can't change her, it is one of those things I'm accepting and begining to deal with on my terms. I'm glad you admitted your anger, your example helps me to admit my own.


Member:
Location:
Date: September 29, 2003
Time: 06:53 PM

Comments

Am I in Queen Kelly's room,I was told this was the place to hear all of her wisdom and ES&H.


Member: Larry
Location:
Date: September 29, 2003
Time: 08:03 PM

Comments

It may just be the valium that keeps her alive,90 is getting on up there and after 28 years it makes you wonder if the valium is hurting more than it is helping.It may be helping her.


Member: vera
Location: oregon
Date: September 29, 2003
Time: 11:31 PM

Comments

I'm vera, I'm an alcoholic.6 weeks & 2 days sober, today. I've lost everything due to my use, as an a alcoholic. And I mean quite abit of everything. My home and my car. In which, I'm not proud of either!!But, I had to learn the hard way of quiting. I know that my higher power, gives me the strength to quit also! Then, I have some hope left inside of me. And that was too is from my higher power!! Attending AA meetings and reading some of the Big Book, has helped me through alot also. Just knowing I too, am not alone with alcoholism. Because, there is help out there. Now, I have a roof over me head. And it's because of things like this. I choose now not to drink. And hopfully, to stay like this for just for today. Step by step. Thank you for letting me share.


Member: Rob A.
Location:
Date: September 30, 2003
Time: 04:24 AM

Comments

I have not begun my recovery yet. I am scared to death!


Member: Gudrun
Location: Iceland
Date: September 30, 2003
Time: 06:07 AM

Comments

Itīs alraight to be scared Rob. You are starting a very different way of live. You are going to alove your true self to bloom. Itīs frightening to look oneself in the eye. But Rob you were very sick and it takes time to recover. Give you the time you neet. Go to meetings, get a sponcer and do the steps. Take it eacy, one step at a time. Be good to yourself. Greef your former freand (alcoh. and/or drugs). Best regards.


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: September 30, 2003
Time: 08:26 AM

Comments

Rob A, What makes you scared? Is it changing or fear of the dt's? Get some help from others because you dont have to go through this alone. Best of luck, Kelly :)


Member:
Location:
Date: September 30, 2003
Time: 11:36 AM

Comments

damn, keep coming here and queenkelly will scare you as she does us all


Member: lori
Location: Albuquerque, NM
Date: September 30, 2003
Time: 11:49 AM

Comments

I've never been on line before for an AA meeting but I do go to meetings. As for the topic. Well Everyday for me is hope due to the fact that I ask for just one day to stay sober. I ask my higher power daily to give me the courage to do his will and not mine for I know when I do mine I mess things all up. For the experince well I know what it is like to out there in the world feeling like no one cares and feeling sorry for my self, but that's where my life has changed. In AA I found a host of friends and family, people who are like me, it's a wonderful feeling to know that I'm not alone. It has taken a lot of hard work and talking to other AA members is a great feeling. I know today I rather have what I have today, then to suffer anyother day out there doing the things I was doing. I love AA. If it weren't for AA I would not have found god, and if it wasn't for god then I wouldn't have found AA. It sure is a great day to be sobar.


Member: Befuddled like Kelly
Location:
Date: September 30, 2003
Time: 11:57 AM

Comments

Higher Power's Ass,which god did you find,was it an old timer,the program,jesus,,did god help you find aa or did aa help you find god,it cant be both ways.


Member: Britt M.
Location: Kentucky, USA
Date: September 30, 2003
Time: 12:05 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Britt and I'm an alcoholic. I just found this online meeting site and will check back often to see what all is going on. I have been sober for 20 days, but it's not been easy. I have been going to real AA meetings almost every day, and people keep saying I should have a sponser, but I don't know how to get one. I haven't found anyone I want to ask, yet. Any suggestions?


Member: bob
Location: california
Date: September 30, 2003
Time: 12:21 PM

Comments

bob here, alcoholic, 6th day without drink, first time I've ever stopped. I don't think that I was scared of stopping. Maybe a little scared of failing, but not really, because I think that for me, failure is a realistic expectation. I'm fighting against reality, not fear, the reality being that I can no longer control my use of alcohol. Can't do it alone, and can't do it if I drink. I think I'm angry that I can't drink anymore. It's like I woke up one day and found out that my best friend was trying to kill me. That's what I was really scared of. I was scared to death that my best friend was going to kill me. I didn't believe that for a long time - he was such a good friend, always waiting for me just down the street at the liquor store. I don't know why I didn't get it before. He killed my father exactly the same way and I watched him do it. ... so maybe I am scared of failing, and I'm pissed that I can't drink anymore. That bottle - it's like she's sitting there in a "come fuck me" outfit and getting ready to slit my throat. Sure, I'd like to fuck her, but right now, I'm too scared to even touch her.


Member: Liquor store clerk
Location:
Date: September 30, 2003
Time: 01:25 PM

Comments

A person's sole decision to partake in self destructive behavior is the culprit of the outcome of any activity.Yep thats right,choosing to drink is an activity.A bottle of liquid cannot conduct actions and has no thoughts process to carry out an action.Drinking is a preference problem.


Member: Liquor store clerk
Location:
Date: September 30, 2003
Time: 01:25 PM

Comments

A person's sole decision to partake in self destructive behavior is the culprit of the outcome of any activity.Yep thats right,choosing to drink is an activity.A bottle of liquid cannot conduct actions and has no thoughts process to carry out an action.Drinking is a preference problem.


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: September 30, 2003
Time: 02:08 PM

Comments

Hi Bob, I liked your analogy, so true. Ut is like having your best friend trying to kill you. I have a disease that wants to kill me and thats alcoholism. The intence desire you describe is in The Doctors Opinion in the BB. All alcoholics have it but until we get into AA we think it's just something unique to us. They refer to it as a craving, or a mental obsession which is what it is. Its an allergy to alcohol which happens when we pick up our first drink in life, hence we start our story with our first drink and at what age. It's amazing the stuff I am learning about my disease and I'm not even half way through the Steps yet! Tonight is my fav meeting,a Big Book Step study and we delve into each step and pick it apart and those who have been through all 12 steps share their ES&H on it. It is really like taking a college course on the Big Book and I enjoy the process. Gotta run. Lets stay sober just for one day :)


Member: bob
Location: california
Date: September 30, 2003
Time: 02:42 PM

Comments

Hi, Liquor store clerk. It was a metaphor. Or if you like, as Kelly called it, an analogy. When alcohol is not coursing through my brain, I can think figuratively, rather than just literally. You're right, it is a preference problem. Given a choice, I often prefer to be drunk. I'm trying to change that preference. But I'm not sure that it was always a decision. When the brake lights on the car in front of me light up, I can get my foot on the brake without deciding and without even thinking about it. Or I can drive to the store without having to think or decide about turning right or left. In the same way, I can pour a glass and drink it without thinking or deciding. It comes natural even without thought. Right now, not drinking requires thought and decision making. Not drinking does not come natural to me. And I'm not saying I'm not responsible. It's not like I did it because I didn't think about it. It's like I didn't think about so that I could do it. There are times I think that we struggle with the decision, but usually when I drank, I didn't bother to think at all.


Member: Jane C.
Location: Alaska
Date: September 30, 2003
Time: 03:11 PM

Comments

Jane C.alcoholic..Bob, you can do this thing..you sound like you really are sincere about wanting to stop..for me, I put down the drink the first day in AA and that was that..I am here because I know that this works...I'm into week 11, and I know the beginning wasn't easy..I felt like you did, PLEASE let me get passed the liquor stores..God has helped me in this.anywhere I have to go here I have to pass at least 4 liquor stores and I prayed myself past every one of them..now I don't even notice that they are there..The compulsion to drink again at least for now, has been taken awy..I didn't like what I had to do to hide my drinking..hiding bottles of wine..even putting them in my washing machine, then praying that no one would pick up the lid..alwaays in fear that someone will notice my mistakes, and praying that I never drive under the influence..and it did get to that point..I HAD to stop and I wanted to..for 18 years I stayed sober..then when my husband was diagnosed with incurable cancer, it didn't take me long to NEED the comfort that MY wine gave me..it took me about 3 years to get to the AA program..I know that if I stick with it I won't drink..a day at a time...I don't tell myself that I can never drink again..it's too depressing..I just don't have to drink today..and I try to keep things as simple as I can..why try to complicate life?..Drinking did that for me, it messed up everything I wanted to do for myself and others Now I can think straight and I know that I don't have to do something unless I feel it's right..and it's getting easier not to give in to what others THINK I SHOULD have to drink..for me the only Should in my life is a should-not..and that is the fact that I SHOULD-NOT dring today,..God be with you and all of us who need to stay sober today..


Member: Jane C.
Location: Alaska
Date: September 30, 2003
Time: 03:17 PM

Comments

Jane C. again.alcoholic..that should have to drink that I said others felt I should do is true.. They don't want to see that I have a problem..only my BF seems to show respect for the fact that I just may have a drinking problem and he never pushes it..he isn't a drinking man,so for him it's easy just to let me be me..


Member: the maverick
Location: lighting up the newbie board
Date: September 30, 2003
Time: 04:49 PM

Comments

It's NOT a disease you fools and IT'S not trying to kill you. Are you really that stupid? If "it" were an outside entity and nothing to do with your own stupid and idiotic choices to drink like a pig for years that would be a different story, but that's NOT the case. YOU alone are the one responsible for your stupidity and now it's time to smarten up a little--that's all. If anything is trying to kill you it's YOUrself for being for damn dumb as to drink like that. Kelly is too new and stupid to know anything and doesn't need to be talking about what is or is not anything, so just ignore her silly posts about what to do. Let her participate in her own lunacy, but don't let her drag you down into it too. Stop drinking and let's get on with life---it's been far too long and time is whittling away, don't waste anymore of it.........


Member: the maverick
Location: lighting up the newbie board
Date: September 30, 2003
Time: 04:49 PM

Comments

It's NOT a disease you fools and IT'S not trying to kill you. Are you really that stupid? If "it" were an outside entity and nothing to do with your own stupid and idiotic choices to drink like a pig for years that would be a different story, but that's NOT the case. YOU alone are the one responsible for your stupidity and now it's time to smarten up a little--that's all. If anything is trying to kill you it's YOUrself for being for damn dumb as to drink like that. Kelly is too new and stupid to know anything and doesn't need to be talking about what is or is not anything, so just ignore her silly posts about what to do. Let her participate in her own lunacy, but don't let her drag you down into it too. Stop drinking and let's get on with life---it's been far too long and time is whittling away, don't waste anymore of it.........


Member: Diane
Location: Oklahoma
Date: September 30, 2003
Time: 04:49 PM

Comments

hi it's been awhile I am Diane sober over 6 months now in fact 6 months and 9 days I've been researching about my health since I've stop drinking I've also lost a ton of weight anyway I have been reading this book called "The Schwarzbein Principle" under the book says....The Truth about Lossing Weight, Being Healthy and feeling Younger then it says....Lose Body fat and transfor body composition, Improve Metabolism, Prevent and correct chronic conditions and diseases , reverse accelerated metabolic aging, Quit addictions and food cravings, Cure depression and mood swings. Anyway the book is very good and talks a lot about addictions and how to eat right so not to crave the food, drug, cigs, booze, says the reason we crave them is our brain needs to be feed says something about our Serotonin levels go up when we drink, eat carbs, do diet pills, smoke, and that when folks stop one addiction that is why they start another addiction says it's not our fault that we can heal and help the level of Serotonin go back up with the proper food. Anyway it's a good book anyone interested in there health this book is great


Member: nm
Location: aw
Date: September 30, 2003
Time: 04:57 PM

Comments

good job diane babycakes---just don't go to aaa meetings and youll be fine---that book is of far more valuue than stupid-ass blue book they read at those dumb meetings...


Member: nm
Location: aw
Date: September 30, 2003
Time: 04:58 PM

Comments

good job diane babycakes---just don't go to aaa meetings and youll be fine---that book is of far more valuue than stupid-ass blue book they read at those dumb meetings...


Member: angie
Location: cali
Date: September 30, 2003
Time: 05:18 PM

Comments

My elevator was broke So I took the steps I took them In order As they was laid out They relieved my fear Anger resentment and doubt First I surrenderd admitted defeat Then came to believe God would put me Back on my feet Turned my Life and will Over to my higher power He gave me the strength to Make it hour by hour Took an inventory Fearless Moral Admitted To myself God and then man The longer I stayed The more I understand More was to be revealed Humbly I prayed to my higher power Takes away my defects Along with my Short comings too Getting better everyday I was seeing peace inside me To the glory of God He set me free I then made a list of My amends Listened to my sponsor Also my new friends I went to many To clean My side of the street Before I was half way Through I was amazed God blessed me He restored my sight I could now clearly see The remaining steps Help me today To be free In this My New way


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: September 30, 2003
Time: 06:23 PM

Comments

Hi All, Just finished changing my locks. I was bitching getting the deadbolt in when I thought of a joke that made me laugh.... Ok, here goes... Whats the difference between a normal breakup and an alki breakup?... Replacing the locks! I don't know if its a real joke but it came to mind. How do you know if its over when your an alki? You have the urge to buy extra some large trash bags.... Yeah thats bad! (((HI DIANNNE)))!!!! I was wondering how your doing and you sound great. I'll check out that book for sure. I have low seratonin levels since puberty and have to take medication. It runs on both sides of my family for generations. I think someday they will check genetically to see if people have normal seratonin levels and even have a cure for it. Drinking is really bad for depression so I'm glad I don't partake anymore. ((Bob )) You describe Chapter 5 of the Big Book well and I liked the break lights part because that is how powerful that urge can come out of nowhere and we find ourselves on autopilot headed for the bar, just like hitting the car breaks exactly. In "More about alcoholism" it says, Once an alcoholic always an alcoholic and to me that is the theme of the chapter. Today I heard a man speak that has 17 years in AA and he said all I have is today, tomorrow I could be drunk but if I do I'll be dead. He stopped drinking one night after putting a loaded gun in his mouth and tasting the metal. He decided he'd had enough. He goes to a noon meeting every day and you can always count on it. Even after 17 years he is no more cured than me. That is the cunning powerful and baffling part of this disease. One minute your sobriety is good and 10 years later your brain tells you its ok to have just one! Hi((Jane)) you sound good. Your right about respect, we get what we demand in this life. If you let people tell you what to drink your surrendering your power to them and not your HP. When Im 'higher power' driven I make good choices and take care of me. It was great reading you all. Peace. Kelly :)


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: September 30, 2003
Time: 06:25 PM

Comments

Ooops, ((Bob)) I meant you decribed Chapter 3. Take Care.


Member: Connie S.
Location: Nashville, Tn
Date: September 30, 2003
Time: 06:36 PM

Comments

Know what ya'll there are some sick people in this world and they ain't all in AA. I'm glad that I have this program and a God of my understanding to help me through. Somedays you're the windshield and some days you're the bug. A couple of things happened to me today that made this alcoholic think she was the bug but know what, so far I've not had to drink over them. Today, I'm proud of myself, I like about 5 days having 4 months clean and sober,that's what AA had done for me -- AA and God. The steps teach me how to live life with non-alcoholic/addicted folks, how to get along in the world without a drink. My sobriety means more to me today than anything. Believe me people there are self-centered, egotistical folks outside the program and it takes what AA has to offer to deal with the jerks. Thank God and AA that by staying sober today, I and turning my life and my will over to God's care, things will happen according to His will. I know His will for me is marvelous, not what the haters would like to see. Thanks for being here for me. It's progress not perfection and today, I've made some.


Member: bob
Location: california
Date: September 30, 2003
Time: 07:31 PM

Comments

Hey Maverick. I once saw a chicken play a song on a piano. You dropped a quarter in a slot and a light came on and that chicken played the piano. And then it got a piece of corn. Maybe you wouldn't call that a disease, but it doesn't really matter what you called it. That chicken couldn't stop itself from playing that piano. You don't want to call alcoholism a disease? Fine. Call it an illness or a disorder or a sickness. But it sure ain't normal, just like it's not normal for a chicken to play a piano. And it can't be normal for me to have been drinking the way I was. Maybe I did have a choice. But I'm convinced that I had lost the ability to make a rational choice. I think I'm smarter than a chicken, but I don't think I had any more power or control over what I was doing than that chicken did. That's what I'm working on now ... trying to become fully aware of my lack of control. I don't want to play that song anymore.


Member: Kellyhas lost her mind because her botfriend would not mind her and he got tired of that damn parrot talk
Location:
Date: September 30, 2003
Time: 08:11 PM

Comments

Kelly you dumbass,you have let the parrot talk run off your boyfriend,lord you will find out that he cared a helluva lot more for yo than anything that you will find in aa or the bb or anyother drunk does.You better give up the hp idea of aa and find GOD and ask him to bring your boyfriend back.It wont be long and ol Kelly pooh will be bellyaching about missing her boyfriend.


Member: Dennis
Location: PA
Date: October 01, 2003
Time: 08:21 AM

Comments

Hi all, Dennis, alcoholic here, 7 months sober. What a lot of good news here! Joe C, you made it through the first night and took your son fishing with a clear mind and clear eyes. What a great feeling, huh!? You made the right choice! Just keep that feeling in mind when you are tempted to drink at night. As Carrie said, the rewards will come quickly, and you will be surprised how much better the world looks through clear eyes. Bob in California has 6 days now, Becky in Seattle 6 weeks, Vera in Oregon 6 weeks and 2 days, Britt in Kentucky 20 days, Jane C in Alaska 11 weeks, Diane in Oklahoma 6 months! Something good is happenning! What terific success stories! Great going to all of us! Rob A hasn't begun yet, sounds ready to give it a try. It is scary and it's not easy, but you'll soon find it's much more scary to wake up with a throbbing head and wonder what all you did last night. Give it a try, and you'll find like all the rest of us have found, that you made the right choice. You can do it! And you aren't alone. We're all pulling for you. Another sober 24 hours to all. God bless.


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: October 01, 2003
Time: 09:23 AM

Comments

Hey ((Bob)) The chicken song cracked me up... so true! Just having my coffee and starting my day. Said my prayers and read my daily reflection. Todays was: LEST WE BECOME COMPLACENT. It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. AA P.85. I have not let up on my program (yet) but I don't want to ever go back there. I know from going to meetings and listening to others that the number one thing they cite as a reason for picking up a drink is to stop going to meetings and let AA go by the wayside. Their sobriety is usually not far behind. All I have is a ((daily)) reprieve based on my spiritual condition. ((Connie)) Awesome on 5 months! Yupp, Somedays were the bug and somedays were the windshield! Yesterday I was the bug but I did not have to drink and it would have been so dumb because TODAY I AM ONE YEAR SOBER!!! I feel great and am taking myself out to lunch after the noon meeting to celebrate! After 13 years of daily drinking I have made one year without picking up a drink or a substitute!!! Thank you God and AA... Kelly :)


Member:
Location:
Date: October 01, 2003
Time: 09:42 AM

Comments

I used to have a wife named Laurel--- damn I liked "resting" on her!! Not mention a few other things I did on her.....LOL..... I always wonder if I had more than one of her, then I would have Laurel(s) to rest upon, wouldn't that be cool////////


Member: mav
Location: uh-huh
Date: October 01, 2003
Time: 10:24 AM

Comments

Bob, funny allegory---NOT analogous though. It in no way applies because that is the entire point---you do now and always did have control over whether or not you drank, you may choose not to believe that, but it makes no difference, you still did. The false illusion that you didn't is one of, if not the biggest of all the dangerous illusions AA gives as truths when they are anything but. I've just one question for you: If you did lose power, then now you have it, right? That's the only logical conclusion for someone who thought that anyways---thus it's your responsibility, just as it was then---NOT some chicken's....


Member: AZbill
Location: az-bill@mindspring.com
Date: October 01, 2003
Time: 11:28 AM

Comments

HI. Bill here. Alcoholic from Arizona. I got sober using the principles of AA. Now whether or not I could have gotten sober using any other modality...I just don't know. Never tried. AA is not the only place to achieve sobriety. It is only the way I chose. I had a daughter that got sober in the church. Is her sobriety any better or any less than mine? I doubt it. I have friends that went through a treatment center. Is their sobriety any better or any less? Nope. It is only the way they chose. There are many pathways to follow. I can only share about the one I followed. I cannot condemn the other paths because I do not know if they would have worked for me or not. If AA had not worked I probably would have sought another way. However, it did work for me. My experience has taught me that if one door closes then another door will open. The trick is to try and stay out of the hallways. Thanks for being a part of my sobriety today. Love ya Bill


Member: bob
Location: california
Date: October 01, 2003
Time: 01:18 PM

Comments

bob here, alcoholic, 7th day without drink. Today's garbage day. I noticed this morning that I didn't have to run around finding all the empty bottles I'd stashed. Last night, on sudden notice, I learned that I would be home alone for the evening. The first thought that ran through my brain was that it would be a good chance to drink up. It's still there. ... ((Dennis)): thanks for paying attention. It creates community. I'm learning that a community is a power greater than ourselves. ((Kelly)) congratulations. You're like a time-traveller sending back messages from the future. When I have something to celebrate, the first thing I think is what am I going to drink?


Member: bob
Location: california
Date: October 01, 2003
Time: 02:01 PM

Comments

Hey Maverick. I'm glad you were able to solve the free-will v. determinism paradox. It's been plaguing scholars and scientists for centuries, but you figured it out. A lot of people talk about the "false illusion of free will." You've discovered that there is a false illusion of loss-of-control. I choose to believe that I lost the ability to choose. That's a paradox. It doesn't fit into your system of logic, but in mine, two things can be true even if they contradict one another. Loss of control is not an excuse, and I know it does not absolve me of responsibililty. And in any case, I don't care about that. I'm with Bill in AZ ... I'm not looking for the true path. I'm looking for the one that gets me where I want to go. I don't think I'm going to get to Kansas by closing my eyes, clicking my heels together, and saying "there's no place like home."


Member: dorothy
Location: oz
Date: October 01, 2003
Time: 04:16 PM

Comments

"there's no place the coffepot, there's no place like the pot, there's no place like the coffeepot, etc...."


Member: dorothy
Location: oz
Date: October 01, 2003
Time: 04:17 PM

Comments

"there's no place like the coffepot, there's no place like the pot, there's no place like the coffeepot, etc...."


Member: mav
Location: potland
Date: October 01, 2003
Time: 05:34 PM

Comments

damn, bobbyboy from caly(homo-land) is pretty damned smart for someone too damned dumb to stop drinking until 7, count'em 1-2-3-4-5-6-YUP 7 measley days ago......GET A GRIP BOBBYBOY< YOU"RE A FREEGIN WEEK OLD!!!!!!!!!


Member: angie
Location: california
Date: October 01, 2003
Time: 08:25 PM

Comments

angie ... my experience tells me that i was someone who spent my life full of fear ... the result of this was some very extreme and absurd behavior and i never thought it was me who had the problem... i just thought everyone else just had really messed up perception of things and of me ........ at 13 i found alcohol.... ahhhh finally something that allowed me feel as cool as everyone else and an escape from my insecurities ... the stress of being me was gone ... plus i could behave anyways i wanted and blame it on the alcohol ... 15 years old i found pot .... wooo who that was fun .... i lost jobs at an early age because of both .... 18 i found speed .......... ate it , snorted it smoked it ..... and for the last 3 years shot it ........... my addiction /disease progressed ... in and out of jail ... moral after moral went out the window ... lower and lower i sank .... i stole,scammed and used sex to get what i wanted ...... i ended up in jail again , my family wanted nothing more to do with me and i was given 2 weeks to find another place to live ... i was finally all alone .... i succeeded in running off everyone ... even myl ower companions .. one of which i became ... my jail sentence was a court ordered program... 90 days in patient and 7 months out ... i got to rehab ... was introduced to AA for the first time ... heard alot of truths about myself ... i listened .... i quit fighting and i became willing ..... nothing in my 29 years of life proved to be working any better .... i decided to give it a shot .. worked some steps ... went to alot of meetings .... found a higher power .... whom i can honestly say i believe in and have faith in .... my program is far from perfect ... but it i put constant daily action into it ..therefore i am constantly moving forward .... i have hope today , i have my family in my life again , i have restablished a sense of good with in me .. morals , and i know if keep doing what i have been doing i have a chance at keeping what i have today ... "shrink at nothing" "willing to go to any lengths" trust in God ::I DO:: clean house ::i have and i do:: work with others :::i do (i live in rehab so its fairly easy) my hope is that if someone as screwed up as i was who had excepted that was just the cards i was dealt and life would always be that way ... if i can change...... if i can make it and get 10 1/2 months .... anyone can .... as long as they want it .......... if i'd have made it to AA a year earlier or even a few months i may not have done it ... but i wanted it and i was ready and i was desperate and tierd ... it couldnt have been better timing .... it wasn't easy , and it wasn't pleasant , but there was no arguing it was better then what i had ...so i just stuck it out no matter what .. which was a first for me ... thanx for letting me share again ........


Member: Miranda
Location: Vermont, USA
Date: October 01, 2003
Time: 09:03 PM

Comments

Experience Strength and Hope Well one reason I go to AA meetings, this one as well as face to face ones, is that hearing other people's experiences helps me in several ways. If I start to think that I can just drink a little bit, have a couple now and then, I hear people saying how they tried that and went right back to drinking all the time like I did by the time I quit. It remnds me that thinking that I can safely drink "just a little" for me is a lie. Since I was what they call a "high-bottom" drunk I didn't lose as much as some and hearing peoples experiences reminds me that I could still go where they went if I start drinking again. I get strength from those meetings too, I get strength from the people there because I know they are there for the same reason I am and have a lot of the same feelings and experiences. Those people know me now and I know them. I get hope from hearing other people tell how they got through life's inevitable bad moments without drinking. At one meeting I go to when the meeting ends the chair for the day always asks "Would everyone with a year or more of sobriety please raise their hands so we can see the program works?" When I first started going to that meeting that gave me hope because I thought that if AA worked for those people it just might work for me. I didn't really think it would but it gave me hope. Now I'm one of the people that raise their hands. Joe C, Bob, Britt anyone new I've missed: Getting sober is the best thing that'll ever happen to you and it's those little things at first like not having to deal with the bottles on garbage day (I used to hide mine in the middle of the garbage bag so they wouldn't clink- we do a central recycling and trash collection on Saturdays here so everybody in town knows what you throw away) or being able to take your kid fishing without a hangover. (My boy lives to fish and I did an awful lot of hung-over fishing) It gets a whole lot better than that but the little things are still what I appreciate.


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: October 01, 2003
Time: 11:32 PM

Comments

Wow, Tanks ((everyone)) for sharing tonight. It made a great day even nicer to read you. ((Angie)), you have been to the depths girl, I heard that pain because you were like me stuck in a tornado that seemed impossible to break free from. 10.5 months and going strong. Cool! Thanks for sharing and remember we never have to go back there. ((Miranda)), I read your story on the link Joe posted. It touched my heart and the love you have for your son I could relate with. Only something as cunning as booze could rip at that bond. My son also confronted me and got tired of the lies. I remember that look on his face saying NO MOM, NO MORE. Then the awful guilt. Today the guilt is gone because he is so proud of me and we are a real family once again. I'm a sober Mom and I'm there for him and he knows that. Also you mentioned raising your hand when you have a year sober and today I got to do that and it mean't a lot. When I went to my noon meeting today a card and a bouquet of flowers were sitting at my chair. The card was for my one year and it said, "To a wonderful lady who has blossomed into a lady of dignity". WOW! Imagine that, from a lost lush to a {lady} in one years time. Then I was asked to speak and it was different. I have not spoke there in months but the message was different today. It was not so much my past as gratefulness and the present. I'm no longer this dark and tragic figure anymore full of self pity and anger. Now my message is hope because like you Angie, I feel that if I could get sober anyone can. My way is with AA because I needed something greater than a booze bottle to believe in. I also needed to totally surrender every day and stop fighting for control. I surrender to booze because I am powerless against it. In a way I outsmarted booze because I finally got its number. To drink is to die so it wins, I lose and I'm not going in the ring anymore to get beaten senseless. Do I resent having to be in AA for the rest of my life? No, I have a disease and I have two choices. To treat it daily or die, I think I'll treat it.((Bob)), another great post once I read it a few times. It was interesting to unravel. I bet you are a brilliant alcoholic if I had to guess ;) Congrats on 7 days and a lot less trash. Nite All. Kelly :)


Member: Congrats Kelly
Location:
Date: October 01, 2003
Time: 11:44 PM

Comments

Kelly,booze is in a bottle and it is not cunning,but you Kelly are the one that in the past that cunned yourself into drinking it and now you call your bad choice and irresponsibility a disease that is baffling and insidious.No Kelly you chose to drink and now you are choosing to be reponsible and not drink and that is a great thing to be doing. Regardless of what method that you choose to employ to motivate your brain to stop craving the alcohol it is ultimately you Kelly who is making the decision to be drink free and responsible so you may as well take full credit for your responsible behavior.AA is a wonderful start to a new life without alcohol but it is up to the lady to remain a lady of dignity in the future.Even if AA were outlawed it woul dstill be you Kelly that is thinking clearly now that the fog of self imposed destructive behavios has ceased.TAKE SOEM CREDIT FOR YOURSELF KELLY,YOU ARE THE ONE WORKING IT,NO ONE ELSE IS,SO ALL THE CREDIT IS YOURS.


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: October 01, 2003
Time: 11:46 PM

Comments

Ooops, I forgot ((Mav)). If you have control over alcohol then your not an alcoholic. Get over it...((( your NOT one of us))). I think perhaps you might need some Alanon to better understand us alcoholics since your not one. Be forwarned though if you go to Alanons page with your logic they are going to kick your ass all over town. Every good AA knows to stay away from that bunch, tough cookies!!!


Member: BABE
Location:
Date: October 02, 2003
Time: 12:39 AM

Comments

Hey Kelly)) right on! just wonderin if your still mad at me honey?.... and im also wondering what Mark L looks like...have you seen him?.. how bout cec... you seen him?...are they hotties?....how old do you think lester is?....sheesh...maybe i should go to the poconos.....whatever or wherever that is....you wanna catch a ride with me?..... come back now girlfriend.


Member: Kelly M
Location: Oakland... I wish!
Date: October 02, 2003
Time: 01:10 AM

Comments

Hey Babe, I was going to bed but my son is home from work and were watching the game. I was never mad at you BTW. I was concerned when I read you were down this week but very full of recovery at the same time. I don't know how any of the guys here look because I don't do cameras etc. online. I do know that I have seen pics that Ardis puts together from the get- togethers. I remember Mark L was handsome and Ardis looked pretty in red and Tracy and her family are adorable. Check out the CP pic albums sometime. Take care of those blues too! I'm on Effexor XR now but have had to be on antidepressants the rest of my life. It's no biggie and I never get depressed anymore which rules! Gotta go see the Redsox win this game... I hope! Take Care Hon... :)


Member: Carrie
Location: Los Angeles
Date: October 02, 2003
Time: 10:38 AM

Comments

Angie, you have inspired me today - thank you!


Member: Johnson
Location: Colorado Springs
Date: October 02, 2003
Time: 11:10 AM

Comments

Kelly, that was not the mav responding to you, even though he does yes hold similiar constructs. Hey, do it your way or whatever, but you obviously know you have no authority to claim whether anyone else is an "alcoholic" or not, that is a cardinal brainwashing rule extraordinairre actually, where have you been darlin? Did you miss those 50 thoushand meetings or what? If he says he is, he is--period, that's how it works. Besides, he's been sober like 20x longer than you. BTW, you've been sober how long? It shows!


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: October 02, 2003
Time: 11:48 AM

Comments

Hi Johnson, How do you know anything? Whats your story? Can you see past the computer screen into our lives? How do really know how much time someone has on this board, really? How do you know Mav so well? Are you really Mav? I trust in the people that I have seen posting in the last year not some anon probably drunk at the keyboard. If a person has a choice to saying no to a drink they are not an alki. I was not out of line to suggest Alanon. Only a non alki would say that crap trying to mislead the newcomer. I want to see us all get sober and if it was as simple as not picking up a drink I would not have wasted so many years of my life or be here right now. What is your answer to getting and staying sober? Putting down newcomers? Just wondering.... Kelly :(


Member: Johnson
Location: Colorado
Date: October 02, 2003
Time: 11:53 AM

Comments

No, little lady(are you a lady?), truth is only someone brainwashed and not knowing they are leading a newcomer astray would post the silly things you do and then say that someone with much more time than you, which doesn't take much, is actually correct. I mean hell, say whatever you want, but you are the one looking through the screen and seeing something not there if you are judging the mav on his sobriety and whether or not he's even an alkie, or recovered or whatever, it's not your place to say and then expect him to not reply. False and crazy expectations are par for newcomers and you are living up to that bill, that's fer sure dollface. Do you have a dollface or not BTW?


Member: milly
Location: montana
Date: October 02, 2003
Time: 11:55 AM

Comments

Besides how would you possibly know anyone else's motives? You obviously do NOT, so why make those assinine statements about what someone else is trying to do as you are not prophetic just because you have 10 seconds sober little girly....


Member: Good Golly Kelly
Location:
Date: October 02, 2003
Time: 12:14 PM

Comments

Get real everyone,all moments of the day are live dthrough choices.Choosing to pick up a drink is a choice as is finally deciding to put it down and not picking it up again is a choice as is posting here and parroting what one has heard.Choice have to be made,sometime its the right choice being made and sometimes its a bad choice being made.a choice nontheless.Get this shit,contemplating drinking as in going to the liquor store and picking out your flavor of poison of preference and then drining back home and actually pouring yourself a drink and knowing full well it is you who has decided to drink and that is not control,girl get a life.


Member: The real BABE
Location:
Date: October 02, 2003
Time: 02:00 PM

Comments

thanx for your comeback there Kelly... if that was indeed you, and it seems like it was... anyhow.((So Mark L is cute huh?.)) I figured he was..anyhow))..page 449 or is it 549 is on acceptance.....and i used to read it everyday, as a part of my morning start of prayer and meditation... and i may start doing it again, as it felt so good.... saved my bacon many many times..... ( i probably don't need to even say this...but if there are anymore posts that are ficticiously signed by me... i hope everone here will know that if the post is hurtful towards anyone, or derogatory, its not me.... i have tried very hard to change and put a better foot forward here on the pot...and im feeling really good about it. I see that the troll was announcing his attempt at extending the olive branch. What happened to that?... and why would he have to announce it?... was he expecting an 'okay your good to go and change now' from others here on the site?.... i don't get it.... ((hey buddy boy, just do it!)) dont' have to ask permission from anybody here, i used to give people my power to the point of scary....hope you do better than i did. PS...thanx for the filthy remark you made about me over on the coffee pot, really, i appreciate it, super! thanx!. ((i don't get you honey... one minute your licking my boots and having whole conversations with yourself about me, and the next minute your attacking me, yu must be very very confused, i empathize with you sweetheart... stayed tuned for the solution to that problem, coming to your area soon...(:-0..(and sweetheart; that's not a coded messages to ya...its just a little funny face in shock at your act....relax; no one's comin ta get ya honey))


Member: Sonja G
Location: Las Vegas
Date: October 02, 2003
Time: 02:01 PM

Comments

And it is such a difficult choice. Everyday I tell myself I am not going to go get that drink. I only have a couple of drinks everyday and try to convince myself it's ok since I don't get drunk and I still have control over my life. But then why can't I stop drinking. I have been reading your board for days, wanting it to be my first day sober, I haven't made it yet. even though I haven't had a drink yet today. Reading your board today made tears roll down my face, because I realize how bad I want to stop. I am going to try so hard to make it through today. Is that how it goes, one day at a time.


Member: Becky
Location: Seattle
Date: October 02, 2003
Time: 04:10 PM

Comments

Hi Sonja, I'm a newcomer here to this board and to being sober. I stopped drinking and ended up in detox, much to my surprise and dismay because of course I didn't drink that much...I've decided I need help, so am doing AA. While not perfect, what is? I've found it to be working for me. So far the "one day at a time" is helping me as I now have 7 weeks - yippee! It feels so great to be free, I can so relate to you when you say how bad you want to stop. That is me too. Angie, I appreciated your post and Kelly thanks for sharing your E, S & W. Miranda - I'm a "high bottom" drunk too, appreciated what you shared a lot.


Member: monica h
Location: ca
Date: October 02, 2003
Time: 05:26 PM

Comments

hi everyone, Just got on this page and have enjoyed some of the discussion. Some of it is really bizarre but I suppose there are some people with a lot of time on their hands and no place to use it. Anyhow I am new - 7 weeks sober and going to face to face meetings pretty regularly. At first, it was great - I was so happy to not be drinking, something I had tried not to do for years, but then about 3 weeks into it, I got pretty irritable. I am waiting for the miracle everyone keeps talking about. I have a sponsor and people to call but, you know, I'd rather do it myself. All the stuff that doesn't work. i figure I had been drinking for 40 years or so so of course it isn't gonna be easy. Alcohol was my best friend until it started going bad and even then there were some good drinking times. So I am just trying to get through this but if anyone has some experience with these uncomfortable feelings in the beginning .. I would appreciate it. The funny thing was when I first stop after about three weeks, I experienced a couple of feelings - lonliness, anger - and I thought this is why I drank - so I would have to feel. Good luck to everyone staying sober or contemplating it. I need you. Monica


Member: mav supporter
Location: fl
Date: October 02, 2003
Time: 05:40 PM

Comments

hey, who's playing my main man the mav and gettin old babeygirl upset? That's gettin me hot, HOT under the collar---NOT the good kind of hot biys and girls out there in looneyland------watch it now--------


Member: Jane C.
Location: Alaska
Date: October 02, 2003
Time: 05:48 PM

Comments

Jane C..an alcoholic.this will be short..I've got neck pain and want to get off this thing today..I read the posts and am grateful for the help that is given here by sharing lifes littls tragedies while we were drinking...I really must have had a high bottom.I never thought about it before, but I've never had some of the bad things mentioned here..YET,, I pray God that I stay sober and never have to have them...Angie,I feel so sad that you had so much pain and sorrow in your life, but I can relate to being yound and feeling so very insecure..I even felt a distance with my family, and that includes relatives..I was so very quiet compared to the noisy cousins that I had..I always puilled away from family functions if it was possible..I felt on the outside alwys..I think if alcohol entered my life as a teenager I would have done it ALL...so I can really say that I am a Very Grateful Alcoholic..and thank you all for sharing..and has anyone heard from Mariab..or Shawn, or September?..I hope ;they are having success staying sober..I pray God gives us all another sober day..


Member: Syonja G
Location: Las Vegas
Date: October 02, 2003
Time: 06:21 PM

Comments

Thanks Becky, I needed to know that just because I drink only a little bit, doesn't mean I am not an alcoholic, because a lot of people tell me there is nothing wrong with me, but I know there is. I went out and got a meeting schedule for our city and plan to go to a meeting tonight and I went and bought the Schwarzbein Principal that somebody mentioned earlier. Maybe it will help me get healthy. Thanks to all of you for your encouragement.Sonja


Member: rte
Location: usa
Date: October 02, 2003
Time: 06:46 PM

Comments

People offer advice and vent on this board. Thats great..it can help or at least make for interesting reading. For newcomers: Get to a real AA meeting. If you're feeling uncomfortable after a few days or weeks of sobriety..then go to more meetings. Meeting makers make it. Its an old saying but its true. Cyber conversations might help but you got to get to the real thing.


Member: angie
Location: california
Date: October 02, 2003
Time: 08:19 PM

Comments

angie alcoholic here i am about to get off of work so this will be brief (i think) ... thank you everyone for responding to my posts ... and thank you all for posting as well ... i get so much out of hearing theres others like me out there ... Monica ... you just going to meetings ,working w/your sponsor and posting on here ... work those steps too .... alot of us believe at first we could just do it on our own.... but monica you have alot more proof (40) years that the way you do it ... you drink .... if you could really do it on your own ... you never would have come in the first place ... doing it on our own is a BIG lIE our heads tell us ... DONT LISTEN TO IT .... :) things will smooth out over time .... 3 weeks were ok ay right ... and then from then till now you have kinda just been irritable ... well then what a miracle and a thing to be proud of that you have stuck it out and continued on ..... thats not what we normally do ... normally we say screw .... its time for a drink ... so far its working just the way your doing it why change anything now ..... you all are in my prayers ....


Member:
Location:
Date: October 02, 2003
Time: 08:20 PM

Comments

monica i meant to say you just keep on going to meetings , etc , etc sorry angie


Member: Ann D.
Location: Akron, Ohio
Date: October 03, 2003
Time: 06:32 AM

Comments

I'm new at this. I am an alcohalic and have never been to a meeting. Can anyone help me with what to expect when I first go? Also, I'm a single mother and would like any suggestions as to what to do with my 9 year old during the meeting. Thank you and I'm sure I'll be writing more soon.


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: October 03, 2003
Time: 08:51 AM

Comments

Good Morning ((All)), Welcome to everyone new and keep coming back and posting. We all help eachother to stay sober. ((Sonja)), congrats on getting to a meeting tonight. You must have a lot to choose from in Las Vegas- the city that never sleeps! Go and listen even if you are not sober yet. ((Becky)), great on 7 weeks! Are you going to a meeting daily? If not try to in the beginning and try different meetings until you find one you like. ((Monica)), You are just having the normal alki feelings. Restless, irritable and discontent is the discription of an alcoholics feelings. When I feel that way I pray to my higher power to relieve my mental obsession and/ or get to a meeting and reach out to another alcoholic. IT WORKS! The anger part your feeling is called (resentments) the number one killer of alcoholics. You can and will get a grip on them once you learn how to at meetings and through your sponsor and reading your Big Book. Just identifying these feelings is awesome! ((Ann D)), you may want to call the AA hotline and see if they have any childcare meetings in your area. If your children are well behaved they can go to (open meetings). Closed meetings means for a person that is an alcoholic or has a desire to stop drinking only. Another option is Noon meetings when the kids are in school. Good Luck! You know I came to this site and read years before I ever got sober. It helped me to see the solution even if I was not ready yet to take the steps. Today I am going on a retreat up in Maine till Sunday. I am so psyched because I will be doing something I enjoy sober, with sober people. There is a solution and a way of life after drinking. I have a life second to none and it started the day I put the bottle down. Everyone have a great sober weekend. Kelly :)


Member: Syonja
Location:
Date: October 03, 2003
Time: 10:41 AM

Comments

I made it to a meeting last night and today I am beginning day 2. It feels good. Yes, there are lots of places to go to meetings in Las Vegas, the people at the meeting last night took me under there wing and invited me to other meetings with them. I am looking forward to a new life. Syonja


Member: Tim V
Location: Poconos
Date: October 03, 2003
Time: 11:47 AM

Comments

((Kelly)) Thanks for helping carry the AA message and thanks for helping me stay sober today. Blessings, Tim


Member: heather s
Location:
Date: October 03, 2003
Time: 03:05 PM

Comments

Well it's been 23 days since my last drink. I feel pretty good about that. I have not yet been to an AA meeting but I am in an intensive outpatient program, individual therapy, and under the care of a phsychiatrist. I am doing everything but going to meetings. The truth us is I am scared to death to go. I am not sure why.


Member: Dennis
Location: PA
Date: October 03, 2003
Time: 03:18 PM

Comments

Hi all! Dennis, here, alcoholic 7 months sober and loving every minute of it. Hey Bob (California), way to go man! You must be on day 9 now. Big accomplishment! Those chances to "Drink up" will keep coming, and every time you overcome one will add to your line of successes. The more those successes build up, the stronger you will be, and the weaker the temptations will be. They will still be there though, so remember that so you don't get "blindsided". Congratulations! Stay strong! Sonja, yes it is a difficult choice to quit that which has been your "friend" for so long. You wanted to have a day without a drink, and you did it for yourself. It wasn't easy, but it will be worth it. You have one day now, so try for another. Just remember it can be done! Look at Bob (9 days), Becky and Monica (7 weeks), etc., etc. You can find support here, and your posting of your successes gives hope for others. Keep it going!This is another beautiful, sober day, and life looks good! Here's to another sober 24 for all.


Member: Delayne W.
Location: Rhode Island
Date: October 03, 2003
Time: 03:45 PM

Comments

Hi Ann D. I too am an alcoholic 2weeks and one day sober. I too am a single mother who attended my first meeting yesterday. I was alittle umcomfortable at first. But as time went on I enjoyed it. I would love to talk to you more if you would like that. Please feel free to contact me. We can support each other. MY name is Delayne and I'm in Rhode Island


Member: Jan BB
Location: Paris, France
Date: October 03, 2003
Time: 03:49 PM

Comments

((Ann D.)) Welcome to AA, your in the right place if you have a problem with dinking. I would suggest that you attend an open meeting. Call your local AA number and ask about an open speaker meeting. Taking a book, gameboy, some sort of coloring type thing for your child will help entertain and distact them. Take a can of soda or juice, most meetings only have coffee to offer. If you can, try to go a little early and if approached by a greeter/AA's, do let them know that this is your first meeting, we have all had a first meeting, they can give you some pamplets on AA and what it is about. If you can linger just a bit afterwards, try to meet a few of the women, most AA women are very approachable and do want to help. Do leave with a few phone numbers of some of these women and pick up a meeting list and ask if they have any suggestions for meetings that you can attend with your child. Some meetings do have childcare. Please feel free to email me (or anyone reading this). Your attending an AA meeting is a wonderful postive step for both you and your child. I do hope you post again here soon. :) HOPE for ((Everyone)) janbbparis@yahoo.com


Member: Doug L.
Location: Ohio
Date: October 03, 2003
Time: 05:28 PM

Comments

Ann D.in Akron call 1 800 897 6737 or email [info@akronaa.org] I don't have a meeting schedule for Akron. But that # is for Akron intergroup they can help you. Some meeting have rooms for child care. Doug L. gratefull recovering alcoholic


Member: Tom M
Location: South Carolina
Date: October 03, 2003
Time: 06:21 PM

Comments

Hi it's Tom. Been sober for seven days now. Took me nearly getting shot or going to prison to get me here. Not because I'm a 'Bad' person, but because I black-out when I drink. Went to the liquor store this afternoon after work. Seems like my truck has a 'homing device' locked on it. Anyway, I owed the owner for a 12 pack of beer from last week. I payed my debt and left empty handed. I think the owners jaw is still on the counter. It felt good to pay my bill and not get any alcohol. Now I have no reason to return there. I can only hope that this is the first in a long line of successes for me. One day at a time. Hopefully other newbies like me can get a ray of hope from this. I know I have. Thank You all for your stories. Keep posting, it helps us all. Just remember, we're all in this together.


Member: Maria
Location:
Date: October 03, 2003
Time: 06:56 PM

Comments

Mariab here. (Jane C.), I can't believe you remembered me. That is amazing. I am doing ok; putting together more consecutive days sober, but relapsing. I don't go to enough meetings. I have too many "buts," as they say. But I'm making progress. I had stopped coming here due to the ugly postings (like this Mav thing that is going on right now), but I need to be here tonight, because it is the weekend and I ALWAYS have fallen off the wagon on the weekends. Tonight I'll be alone at home and as everyone knows, that is a real tempting time.... oooh, no one will know. Except me, who seems to still be a bit lost, but finding her way, I think (and pray). I hope to get better about calling people who have given me their numbers. Hi, BillZ, I emailed you once and you are a great man. Take care everyone.


Member: monica h
Location: california
Date: October 03, 2003
Time: 07:08 PM

Comments

Hi Everyone, Thanks for all your experience, strength and hope. I have prayed for help with this and have received it from you and other members of AA. For me, I need to talk about things - my solution has always been to keep it inside, pretend I am perfect and never admit to "weakness". So AA is a huge deal and sharing is a huge deal. I am beginning to see how it helps though. It was good to find out that the irritability I am experiencing is sort of normal in the beginning. I have given up something that was a HUGE part of my life and kept me from having to feel all these uncomfortable feelings. I needed to mourn a little bit, actually be sad, cry, say goodbye, move on to recovery for as much as alcohol ruined my life these past years , it also was something I so depended on when I was happy, sad, celebrating, angry etc. Now I can honestly say i am 56 days sober and thrilled. I pray for all of you out there - I love your sharing and get something out of everyone's share. Thanks for the support and I pray we stay sober each 24 hours. Monica


Member: angie
Location: cali
Date: October 03, 2003
Time: 07:39 PM

Comments

PAW: Post Acute Withdrawl


Member: angie
Location: cali
Date: October 03, 2003
Time: 07:43 PM

Comments

www.tlctx.com/ar_pages/paw_part1.htm


Member: Dennis
Location: PA
Date: October 03, 2003
Time: 08:45 PM

Comments

Here we are, another Friday night - tough time for lots of us. But we are a little community here, all working together for the same thing -sobriety. And we're doing it! Delayne W, congrats on 2 weeks + 1 day. Tom M, great going on the 7 days and empty handed trip from the liquor store. Yes, we are all in this together, and we can help each other through tough times, and we can make it. Maria, it's one of those tough times for you - home alone on the weekend. Stay strong, think about how much you want this, and do something else instead of drink. Read some self-help material, or write down your thoughts - what are you afraid of, what do you want to get done in the next week, what do you enjoy? See if that will help. Monica H has 56 days and says sharing and prayer help. I have 7 months, and sharing and prayer have sure helped me, as well as reading and writing down my thoughts on the long weekend nights. Getting a lot of sleep helps, too. We have a beautiful Saturday coming up in a few hours. Here's to all of us enoying it with clear, sober minds, hearts, and souls.


Member: Been here before
Location: Rather not sign my name
Date: October 03, 2003
Time: 09:43 PM

Comments

I went through a full week sober.. I did it for my kids, I did it for my marriage.. but I didn't di it for me, cause I truly didn't think I had a problem,.. I could go without it, no problem. Tonight, for no particular reason, I drank. I don't know why. I didn't get trashed , just enough to make me feel good.. then a woman called me.. a woman who I had talked to about a month ago, about going to a meeting.. she's been sober since 1977.. wow.. I can't compete with that, I'll hear what she has to say, I'll meet her tomorrow night, let her help me, cause I know damn well, I'm in for it tonight with the hubby..


Member: Ann D
Location: Akron, OH
Date: October 04, 2003
Time: 05:45 AM

Comments

Hi, this is Ann D. again, and I'm an alcohalic. Took me way too long to admit that and I feel as I have just pushed a large monkey off my back. I now know that that monkey is going to keep trying to jump back on but I will do anything possible to keep that from happening. Right now, this website and you guys are keeping me happy I am sober. Only 3 days now, but a proud 3 days. Thank you to (Kelly M.), (Delayne W.), (Jan B), and the information from ( Doug L.). I have contacted my local AA team and am hoping to get an answer soon. Until then, I'll keep on posting here and reading the wonderful thoughts and prayers you each have for each other. Thank you so much, Ann D.


Member: Dennis
Location: PA
Date: October 04, 2003
Time: 09:08 AM

Comments

Hi, all! Although it's cold and rainy, it's a beautiful sober day here in PA. Congratulations Ann D! 3 days is huge! So is making it thorugh a Friday night! Remember, we are here for you. How did everybody else do last night? God bless, and another sober 24 to all.


Member:
Location:
Date: October 04, 2003
Time: 12:17 PM

Comments

Hi Everyone, Just returned from a 7 am meeting - yikes that is early with the cold weather here and the covers pulled up. Anyway, I like going then because I haven't got all my defenses going yet. I did fine last night. My husband had a couple of glasses of wine - that's ok - it doesn't tempt me and he's a normal drinker. I do sometimes and again I'm new - 57 days - try and think my way out of being an alcoholic - I' kinda high bottom and have a pretty nice stable life the past ten years or so. Anyway, even though I answered 6 of the qeustions on the 20 yes and 2 more maybes, I still sometimes think maybe I'm not. When I first went to meetings, I liked hearing about the people who had been out there a few times, thinking yeh, maybe I can get back out. Now I think I don't ever want to go through the quitting again. I also have a strong gut feeling that I would crawl into a bottle of vodka if I went out. Did anyone else ever want to crawl into a bottle. I use to tell my husband that and he would look at me like I was crazy (and I was.) So I guess I'm getting to the point of admitting I am an alcoholic even though I don't like that very much. I sure couldn't control it as I would promise myself about three mornings per week that I wouldn't drink that night and then obsess about it until I poured one. I am grateful to AA and look forward to beginning the steps in a formal way - my sponsor is away until Wednesday. I am feeling pretty self centered still - all about me and my alcoholishm and I am getting pretty sick of that too. Looking forward to getting out of myself - I guess I am a newcomer and I can't spped this thing up. God's time, not mine. HAVE A GREAT SATURDAY EVERYONE, Monica


Member: Nancy
Location: NWT
Date: October 04, 2003
Time: 12:54 PM

Comments

Im Nancy and im new in sobriety i was wondering if i am actually an alcoholic, because i don't drink very much. but when i do i get a bit out of control i have a good life and have been married for 17 years. my husband and i had 3 children together. i need to know what to do next. i see a lot of posts from Kelly)) maybe she could help me, she seems to really know her stuff, anything you would suggest Kelly?


Member: Nadine
Location: The Finger Lakes, NYS
Date: October 04, 2003
Time: 02:37 PM

Comments

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Hi Nancy, (((Welcome)))!!!!!!!!!!! I'm an alcoholic and my name is, Nadine. May I suggest going to a face to face AA meeting in your area. If you don't know where any are just look in the phone book and call your central office, they can definitely give you the address of a meeting....when you arrive take a seat and listen, listen ,listen ,then just keep going back. Eventually you'll know the answer to your question. God bless.


Member: TOM M
Location: SC
Date: October 04, 2003
Time: 02:44 PM

Comments

Working on Day 8. Suddenly felt the urge to go to the bar just now. Talked myself out of it. But, now I feel as if I've let down someone. Don't know who. Is it the alky in me? I don't want to sound self-centered but I'm sure I'm not the only one with these thoughts. Any thoughts on this feeling?


Member:
Location:
Date: October 04, 2003
Time: 02:46 PM

Comments


Member:
Location:
Date: October 04, 2003
Time: 03:21 PM

Comments

SO FAR AWAY BY STAINED this is my life its not what it was before all these feelings i've shared and these are my dreams that i'd never lived before somebody shake me cuz i i must be sleeping [chorus] now that we're here, it's so far away all the struggle we thought was in vain all in the mistakes, one life contained they all finally start to go away now that we're here its so far away and i feel like i can face the day i can forgive and i'm not ashambed to be the person that i am today these are my words that i've never said before i think i'm doing okay and this is the smile that i've never shown before somebody shake me cuz i i must be sleeping. I CAN RELATE TO THE LYRICS OF THIS SONG! I CHOOSE NOT TO DRINK TODAY.....


Member: Dennis
Location: PA
Date: October 04, 2003
Time: 04:50 PM

Comments

Hey Tom M, congratulations on day 8! You're going to have those feelings of going back to the bar, expecially if something really good or bad happens. You did just what you need to do -talk yourself out of it. That's a great win! Maybe you had a little help from your Higher Power on that one. In any case, way to go! Yes, I've had those thoughts that I'd like to go back to drinking, too (7 months sober now), and I think it's natural to have them from time to time. Having the thought isn't letting anybody down - until you act on it. You might feel like you let yourself down because you had the desire, and it may be "the alkie" in you trying to make you feel guilty and unworthy so you go try to drink the pain away. Don't listen to it! You know the right thing to do, and you did it! Don't beat yourself up over it. Asking for help here is a good thing, or maybe you need to pray for help to keep overcoming the temptations. Or maybe you could write down your thoughts when you feel like going to the bar - like what made you feel that way, is there anything else you could do to react to that feeling, how do you feel about being able to resist the temptation (should feel proud!), what things do you like about being sober for 8 days, how would you feel about yourself if you went to the bar (physically and emotionally)? Anybody who has been sober for long has had those exact same feelings, and we've used different ways to get through them. Use whatever works. I truly hope this helps. I'm with you, and so is anybody else out there listenening. God bless you. Let us know how you do.


Member: TOM M
Location: SC
Date: October 04, 2003
Time: 05:18 PM

Comments

((Dennis)) Thanks for your support. Instead beating my head into the wall about whether to go to the bar or not, I called my mom and asked if she would go out to dinner with me. So my mom, aunt and myself are going out for a nice dinner then probably set around and watch some movies afterwards. I truly believe that my Higher Power has a guiding hand on me. He's letting me make the decisions though. And that's what I need. I need to know that I can do it, albeit with the help of all of you and my Higher Power. God Bless You All!!!!


Member: Duane P
Location: ARIZONA
Date: October 05, 2003
Time: 01:28 AM

Comments

Duane here Alcaholic-addict from Arizona. experience, strength and hope. well i guess it all comes from my higher power. God could do for me what i could not do for myself, let alone someone else. namely my son. there was a time when my son could've gone through surgery like he did this week and i would have been too busy to be there for him, but now thanks to God and the sobriety that i experience today, i was there for him. sometimes prayers are answered with a little bit of pain along with them. the prayer that was answered was that i was able to be there for my son and my wife for the first time (he is 3 yrs old), the pain that i experienced was watching his eyes get drowsy as he got drugged up to sleep for the surgery (one of the most painful things i have ever been through) the Hope is that i will never let him down again, as long as my priorities are kept in the right order (directly stemming from sobriety). the Strength is in my faith that my higher power is in control now and the second i think i have enough control of my own to run the show is the second that this alcaholic is doomed no matter how much or how little sobriety i have under my belt.thanks for sharing evryone, GOD BLESS.


Member: Truth
Location: Heaven
Date: October 05, 2003
Time: 01:32 AM

Comments

Kelly M....NH.......... I wish their was a Recommend on this board, You are so real I'm in Love(sprit wise) Do what you do best be real !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! be real................


Member: Ann
Location: OHIO
Date: October 05, 2003
Time: 06:55 AM

Comments

It's Ann, day 4 yeah!! Yesterday I learned a couple of things. First, it seems as if you can get twice as much done when you are sober. Did anyone else find that happening? Also, watching sporting events is a definate no. I started watching my cubbies and when I was barraged by beer commercials I turned the channel to PBS and enjoyed watching a show on blues in England. So, another great day sober, and looking forward to many more. Thanks to everyone here on the web. I will be going to my first AA meeting next friday and am looking forward to it. Ann