Member: Tech
Location:
Date: July 14, 2002
Time: 09:14 AM
123 123
Member: Curtis L
Location: Goliad, TX
Date: July 14, 2002
Time: 09:41 AM
A dumb question is the one that you don't ask.
Member: patty C.
Location: mid-atlantic
Date: July 14, 2002
Time: 10:15 AM
if you are new;my wish for you today would be to make yourself known by posting at least let us know your name and if you think you are A alcoholic;B think you might have a problem;C think it's all BS or not for you. I know for me silence is deadly. Not sharing keeps me sick even in recovery.
Member: Mike
Location:
Date: July 14, 2002
Time: 11:36 AM
I have been an absolutely undisciplined self-indulgent addicted to smoking and alcohol type for decades. Six months ago at age 42, after years of thinking about it and many failed attempts, I set out to quit smoking, figuring it would be the easier of the two for me to tackle. I rationalized that I could not handle quitting both smoking and drinking at the same time, and that a failure on either one would cascade into a failure on the other. I have now been smoke free for 188 days, have forgone 3768 smokes, and have saved $658.00. But now I am petrified. Really really staring into a hole. I can no longer use "quitting smoking" as a barrier to doing something about my drinking. I have pretty much conquered nicotine and it is time to move on. It is wearing on me physically and my family life is completely affected. My weight, my skin tone, my moods, my money.... So please, folks. If you pray, then pray that I have the courage to do what I must. God knows, it is the hardest thing I will ever do. And I am really not sure I have the strength to do this. I feel so very old.
Member: Michaela M
Location: France
Date: July 14, 2002
Time: 02:06 PM
Hi to ((all, newcomers or not, sober or not)) ((Mike)) - I am today on my 64th day of sobriety and I am 32 years old, I still smoke but hey that doesn't get me into trouble, cause blackouts or lose me my family, friends or job because of drunken behaviour. All I can say to you from one newcomer to someone that seems to have the desire to quit drinking please go to meetings if at all possible, the only rule there is that you have the desire to stop drinking. Well done on stopping smoking but if you are an alcoholic perhaps the harder of the 2 should be the priority. There are lots of really, genuinly good people in AA and they all want to help us newcomers. You are never too old to quit doing something that's damaging to your physical, mental and emotional health. I attended my first f2f meeting on Thursday of this week because I have not been in a position to go previously. I would like to say to all those that have not been to any they are the face of AA and the internet, although very good and helpful, is not, in my opinion a comparitive replacement. RE SPONSORS With regards to sponsors I have just a couple of days ago asked someone to be my sponsor. I asked her how you chose a sponsor and her answer to me was pick someone that has a lot of good sobriety and someone that lives the type of sober life that you would like.
Member: Michaela M
Location: France
Date: July 14, 2002
Time: 02:06 PM
Hi to ((all, newcomers or not, sober or not)) ((Mike)) - I am today on my 64th day of sobriety and I am 32 years old, I still smoke but hey that doesn't get me into trouble, cause blackouts or lose me my family, friends or job because of drunken behaviour. All I can say to you from one newcomer to someone that seems to have the desire to quit drinking please go to meetings if at all possible, the only rule there is that you have the desire to stop drinking. Well done on stopping smoking but if you are an alcoholic perhaps the harder of the 2 should be the priority. There are lots of really, genuinly good people in AA and they all want to help us newcomers. You are never too old to quit doing something that's damaging to your physical, mental and emotional health. I attended my first f2f meeting on Thursday of this week because I have not been in a position to go previously. I would like to say to all those that have not been to any they are the face of AA and the internet, although very good and helpful, is not, in my opinion a comparitive replacement. RE SPONSORS With regards to sponsors I have just a couple of days ago asked someone to be my sponsor. I asked her how you chose a sponsor and her answer to me was pick someone that has a lot of good sobriety and someone that lives the type of sober life that you would like.
Member: Michaela M
Location: France
Date: July 14, 2002
Time: 02:07 PM
Hi to ((all, newcomers or not, sober or not)) ((Mike)) - I am today on my 64th day of sobriety and I am 32 years old, I still smoke but hey that doesn't get me into trouble, cause blackouts or lose me my family, friends or job because of drunken behaviour. All I can say to you from one newcomer to someone that seems to have the desire to quit drinking please go to meetings if at all possible, the only rule there is that you have the desire to stop drinking. Well done on stopping smoking but if you are an alcoholic perhaps the harder of the 2 should be the priority. There are lots of really, genuinly good people in AA and they all want to help us newcomers. You are never too old to quit doing something that's damaging to your physical, mental and emotional health. I attended my first f2f meeting on Thursday of this week because I have not been in a position to go previously. I would like to say to all those that have not been to any they are the face of AA and the internet, although very good and helpful, is not, in my opinion a comparitive replacement. RE SPONSORS With regards to sponsors I have just a couple of days ago asked someone to be my sponsor. I asked her how you chose a sponsor and her answer to me was pick someone that has a lot of good sobriety and someone that lives the type of sober life that you would like.
Member: Curtis
Location: Goliad, TX
Date: July 14, 2002
Time: 03:42 PM
Alkie named Curtis, again, forgive the double please. Seventeen years ago, I asked a man to be my sponsor. I asked him yesterday to share with me about something that was troubling me. He did. When I lived a long way away from him, I had "in-town" sponsors also. I don't believe that I could stay sober without a sponsor. Just ask someone that you respect and that is working and living the program of AA.
Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: July 14, 2002
Time: 05:42 PM
HI. Bill here. Alcoholic from Arizona. My first sponsor was handed to me on a silver platter.... I sat my last drink down on a Friday afternoon.... on the following Thursday a gentleman stopped me on the street and asked if I really had stopped drinking....My very first 12 Step.... As a result we both wound up in AA that night... And as a result of that.... He bought a Big Book and moved in with me and we started into the program. He was sober one day and I seven. You see he had something I did not.... He believed the program worked and I did not...I call these things God Shots. :) --In AA, Sponsor and sponsered meet as equals, just as Bill and Bob did. --Essentially, the process of sponsorship is this: An Alcoholic who has made some progress in the recovery program shares that experience on a continuous, individual basis with another alcoholic who is atttempting to attain or maintain sobriety through AA. --This is a direct quote from the pamphlet "Questions & Answers on Sponsorship. I give all my potential sponsees this pamphet. --Thanks for being a part of my sobriety today. --Bill az-bill@mindspring.com
Member:
Location:
Date: July 14, 2002
Time: 06:13 PM
Ant newcomers who don't know about the basic text of Alcoholics Anonymous (The Big Book) you can read it online by clicking on this link http://www.recovery.org/aa/bigbook/ww/
Member: Adam H.
Location: Nagano, JAPAN
Date: July 14, 2002
Time: 08:20 PM
Adam, alcoholic. I picked my first sponsor because when he said in a meeting that Alcoholics Anonymous saved his life, EVERYONE believed him. He was one of those low-bottom drunks who lived under a bridge and was quite literally at the gates of insanity and death when he came in to AA. Many of the longtimers who saw him come in often shared about how they remember when he came through the doors and didn't know whether or not he would make it. Well, make it he did, and although I never lived under a bridge, I was so full of self-hatred that I wanted to die....and wouldn't it be a gift to be able to say that SOMETHING, even Alcoholics Anonyumous, had saved MY life in the future (if I was ever going to have one)! What are the gifts of sponsorship? The big one is guidance... I came in to Alcoholics Anonymous really confused about how I was going to do ANYTHING sober. Naturally, I got general guidance from the group, but when I asked someone to sponsor me, I actually got a guide to the Steps...someone who was willing to show me how to do the things people in AA were doing and how to put what I was hearing about in the meetings into practice in my life. It's the thing that saved my life.
Member: Adam H.
Location: Nagano, JAPAN
Date: July 14, 2002
Time: 08:21 PM
Adam, alcoholic. I picked my first sponsor because when he said in a meeting that Alcoholics Anonymous saved his life, EVERYONE believed him. He was one of those low-bottom drunks who lived under a bridge and was quite literally at the gates of insanity and death when he came in to AA. Many of the longtimers who saw him come in often shared about how they remember when he came through the doors and didn't know whether or not he would make it. Well, make it he did, and although I never lived under a bridge, I was so full of self-hatred that I wanted to die....and wouldn't it be a gift to be able to say that SOMETHING, even Alcoholics Anonyumous, had saved MY life in the future (if I was ever going to have one)! What are the gifts of sponsorship? The big one is guidance... I came in to Alcoholics Anonymous really confused about how I was going to do ANYTHING sober. Naturally, I got general guidance from the group, but when I asked someone to sponsor me, I actually got a guide to the Steps...someone who was willing to show me how to do the things people in AA were doing and how to put what I was hearing about in the meetings into practice in my life. It's the thing that saved my life.
Member: Phil A
Location: Geordieland UK
Date: July 15, 2002
Time: 02:05 AM
((Mike)) I'm three years and 3 month's sober and I ain't quit smking yet, I've tried a few times and never quite got there even with the use of patches, I've lasted a few days and that's been it. It's all a question of what gonna kill you first and send ya back to hell and oblivion, booze or cigs. It's better to light up than to pick up, still I wish I didn't light up but when the time is right, that'll be the day. Sponsors, well I'm on sponsor number four, the first one I picked thought he wasn't ready and only lasted a few weeks, the second, well we had a disagreement about drugs and he started mouthing off N/A though he was a great sponsor for a while, the third dissapeared from meetings and stopped returning all calls, the fourth well he's working out great and is just what I need/want, he's been sober 21 years and knows the program and works it great, been with him a while aqnd he's teaching me a lot, l,ife's a learning process and I'm still learning and so's he. "When the student is ready the teacher will appear" GeordieWally@aol.com
Member: The crazy world of Avril G
Location: Belgium via Barnsley UK
Date: July 15, 2002
Time: 06:10 AM
A sponsor has to be chosen wisely. If you hear anyone discussing another member with someone else DON'T ask them to be your sponsor, if they talk about anyone else, they will probably talk about you too. I was told that if I thought someone would be a good sponsor, ask them if they would mind if you called to see them at home and have a coffee with them. See how they work the programme where it counts, AT HOME. All of us can be sober for 60-90 minutes in a meeting room, but do we REALLY carry the message into our outside lives?? I have had good and bad experiences of sponsors, my first was excellent, but sadly when she got to 10 years of sobriety, she stopped doing what she taught me to do, stopped attending meetings, she lasted 2 years on her own and is still out there and drinking again and can't get back. Another sponsor who started off well, and helped me a lot got herself too much into sponsorship, and I realised that she was sponsoring just about EVERY female in the group, and it was a large group. I had to sack her when one day, I shared something deeply personal with her and she told me, "Oh .......has had the same problem, and she did......." The girl was another of her sponsees and I didn't like her telling ME about someone else when sponsorship is supposed to be highly confidential. My present sponsor is truly amazing, has 16 years good sobriety, never talks about anyone else, and is there for me 24/7 if I need her. I did another 4/5th step with her last year, and I feel really privileged to know her. Don't rush in and ask the first person you identify with, get to know about their lives first. Most important, in my opinion, is does your would-be sponsor HAVE a sponsor themselves?? I don't believe anyone who doesn't have a sponsor should even think about being a sponsor themselves. Who are they?? GOD?? Also make sure that THEY have worked/are working the steps, not everyone with years of sobriety have!! I was taken through the first 3 steps over 2-3 weeks, then given a step four inventory guide and told to take my time, do it thoroughly, but not to hang on to it for too long. She told me at most it should take 2 months, since I was then working full time and was a single mother. I completed step 4 in one month then took 2 days with my sponsor to do the fifth step. The internet is a great resource for anyone wanting to learn more about the steps, if you type AA 12 step guides into your search engine a whole load of links will come up. Of couurse, nothing beats face to face meetings for learning the programme, (for me anyhow) and most meetings carry a pamphlet called 'Questions and answers on Sponsorship' which is a good guide to getting a sponsor. Oh and one more important thing, when it comes to sponsorship, Men sponsor men, and women sponsor women. Many do have opposite sex sponsors, but for me, it is potentially dangerous, deep meaningful revelations to someone of the opposite sex can lead to dangerous liaisons developing. ~~*SOBRIETY ROCKS*~~ goodallavril2000@yahoo.co.uk
Member: CAT
Location: TUCSON, AZ
Date: July 15, 2002
Time: 06:45 AM
I am 6 months into the program. I had a lot of questions about selecting a sponsor, after 2 tries, I decided to choose someone who had supportive comments and was humble and grateful. It's working out good, so far. Sponsors aren't perfect so we grow together in the program and read a chapter for a couple hours a week or I'll work on a step with her. I learned she was going out of town, so I got a "cosponsor", too. It is good to get a good sponsor, even though it is up to us to stay sober and the Higher Power's help. Being connected with a real person who also has a sponsor and works the steps is a huge plus. I am grateful today, I am learning how to trust, let go of how people think about me and talk to someone, learning communication skills, listening skills and watching progress through another person.
Member: L.H.
Location: Denver
Date: July 15, 2002
Time: 07:30 AM
Hi. I'm in the Denver area and need help. I've tried calling AA, but I just always seem to get a person that goes on for 90 minutes about their own story. I need someone that will listen to me. I can't do this alone.
Member: Sarah P
Location: New York
Date: July 15, 2002
Time: 10:55 AM
I am really scared. I want to stop drinking but I don't want to have seizures. Please tell me how to stop without killing myself in the process. Sarah
Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: July 15, 2002
Time: 10:58 AM
Asking for help was abhorrent to me. I danced around the program for years trying to find an “easier softer way” and without a sponsor. I came back after a particularly painful binge and while I was still hurting I asked someone to help me with the steps. I went through a couple other sponsors, but always returned to the first. We are not “best friends” and we don’t hang out a lot, but he knows every dirty little secret I had and any new ones that come up. Today there are not many secrets, I fear anyone knowing if it will help them stay sober. The best advice I can give the newcomer is “Easy Does It”, do what you can to make progress and be grateful for any progress you make. If you stay sober and remain happy, be Joyful in that.
Member: Sonia
Location: UK
Date: July 15, 2002
Time: 11:02 AM
(((LH))) People on the helpline share about themselves so you can get an idea if you are in the right place, do you identify, do you want the recovery that that person has. If you do, then ask to meet someone, all that person will do is give you thier story, tell you what it was like for them and how they got sober. The next step is meetings, where you will get phone numbers and maybe start recovery. The help line is not a listening service. Once you are attending meetings hopefully you will find people will listen a little more, but i found that as i didnt know how to get sober, i had to listen to them, which damn near killed me at times as i like to talk. I hope you get what you need and find sobriety. How to choose a sponser, I am not really sure, but i think identifacation is important, but ((Avril)) had a lot of good points. I have had three sponsers, and i think each one has been important and right for that stage of recovery. Call it a god thing.
Member: Anne M
Location: NY
Date: July 15, 2002
Time: 11:07 AM
((Sarah P)) I humbly suggest that you talk to your doctor about the withdrawl process. If you don't feel comfortable with your regular doctor, perhaps this is a clinic nearby. Good luck to you. ((LH - Denver)) Get a list of meetings in your area and get to one. Even at your first meeting, you can ask for a temporary sponsor so you have someone to talk to outside of the meetings. Get as many phone numbers as you can at that meeting. And keep going. Good luck to you, too. ((Mike)) Congrats on not smoking! See above -- go to a meeting! You only have to WANT to stop, to attend. I was petrified of my first meeting, and it ended up being wonderful. A weight was lifted off my shoulders. As was said above, smoking won't do the same immediate damage as drinking will. Good luck. As for sponsors, I was told to look for someone who works the Steps as part of their daily life, and who had a spiritual awakening as a result. My choices were limited, as there are many men, and many newcomer females at my meetings. I ended up asking the woman who made me feel at home at my first meeting. Is she the right one, and will she be the only one? Too soon to say; but in the meantime, at least I am working the program with a sponsor.
Member: FrankD
Location: NJ
Date: July 15, 2002
Time: 12:15 PM
Time to bite the bullet and ask the person I should of asked at first to be my sponser. Will see him at Wednesday meeting. He has the sobriety I want. Frank
Member: zz
Location:
Date: July 15, 2002
Time: 12:33 PM
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Member: sandyc
Location: scotland
Date: July 15, 2002
Time: 12:42 PM
(FrankD) I read all the posts today earlier and decided to bite the bullet as well before reading your message. I phoned someone with 20 years who in many ways is just as insane as I am and so now I have a sponsor! It feels after so many months of just going to meetings like having taken a major step, that this is for real.
Member: Joe P.
Location: Chicago
Date: July 15, 2002
Time: 06:33 PM
I was sober about 2 ½ weeks, attending meetings but without a sponsor, when I started planning how I was going to run off to Las Vegas in pursuit of a particularly fine bit of insanity. (At one point I fancied becoming the character played by Nicholas Cage in “Leaving Las Vegas”). I didn’t want to drink, but I was unsure that I could pull off my little “run-away” without drinking, either. I was on dangerous ground. I knew I needed somebody to be accountable to – a sponsor. At the same time, a guy at meetings kept asking me if I had a sponsor yet, and suggested I get a sponsor at a particular men’s step meeting. I went to that meeting, and a young man asked me if I had a sponsor yet. I said that I didn’t and that I didn’t know how to go about getting a sponsor. He pointed out the man who had chaired the meeting, and said, “Just go ask him”. The man he pointed out had long hair and beard and looked like a hard-core biker. I thought I couldn’t possibly have anything in common with him, but talked with him anyway. His first words were “Do you have a sponsor yet?” I asked him to be my sponsor after a short discussion, knowing very little about him. He told me five things I should do one day at a time, and I thought of objections to his suggestions. But God gave me another idea – “Shut up and do what you’re told for once.” I did. Immediately, I stopped planning to run away to Las Vegas. I began doing what my sponsor suggested. I’m still doing what he suggests 3+ years later, and not drinking one day at a time. I firmly believe that I did not find a sponsor, but rather, that God provided me with one. Joe
Member: Brenda c
Location:
Date: July 15, 2002
Time: 07:39 PM
I am driving my husband crazy! I need help!!!
Member: Miranda C
Location: Vermont, USA
Date: July 15, 2002
Time: 09:29 PM
Sarah P: When I quit drinking I was really frightened of all the effects I might suffer. Convulsions, DT's, I had no idea what was going to happen. I called several people in the program to find out if I should go into a detox program, or whether I would have any advance warning of seizures if they were going to happen at all because I'm a single parent and live alone except for my young son. I couldn't get a straight answer out of anybody. So here's the straightest answer I can give you. It depends on how much you drink and how often whether you will get very sick or just be uncomfortable. I drank every day, starting in the late afternoon or evening and consumed between 1.75 and 2 liters of volka every week. I was extremely moody and irritable for the first week and had trouble sleeping and night sweats for about 2 months. Other than that I suffered no ill effects. If you are in any doubt whatsoever I recommend that you take Anne M's suggestion and consult a doctor. Sponsorship: My relationship with my sponsor is much like CAT's experience except that we don't read the "Big Book" together, I call her when I have a question or concern. I don't expect her to be my therapist or a guru. She tells me what works for her, if it works for me I use it and if it doesn't I don't. I know many people in the program who don't have a formal sponsor, but rely on various people in the program to talk to, they seem to get along just fine.
Member: Judith.L
Location: Melb.Australia
Date: July 16, 2002
Time: 12:50 AM
Hi, Judith here Alcoholic/Addict. ((Brenda C)) Whats happening Brenda. Get it out here!! Why are you driving your husband crazy? What's happening.? ((L.H.)) talk to us L.H. Tells us about you! This is a good place to start sharing your stories. Love & Rainbows, Judith Grateful Recovering Alcholic/Addict.
Member: Judith.L
Location: Melb.Australia
Date: July 16, 2002
Time: 12:50 AM
Hi, Judith here Alcoholic/Addict. ((Brenda C)) Whats happening Brenda. Get it out here!! Why are you driving your husband crazy? What's happening.? ((L.H.)) talk to us L.H. Tells us about you! This is a good place to start sharing your stories. Love & Rainbows, Judith Grateful Recovering Alcholic/Addict.
Member: Tami H
Location: Washington State
Date: July 16, 2002
Time: 04:10 PM
HI all! I am very confused about my alcoholism and this thing we all treatment. I am having a very hard time with all of my fellow addicts and also I am finding that I don't trust anyone enough to ask them to be my sponsor. I come from a long line of drinkers and dreamers, I have a severely "full blown alcoholic" mother. Since I have lived with all of the lies and betrayal where alcoholism is concerned, I know this makes me apprehensive to except help from anyone who has ever been addicted. My mother has maybe had 6 sober months since my birth. All of the denial has lead her to even at times go to AA meeting and lie about her sobriety so she could receive well wishes and little coins that said "sober for X amount of months" all BS. I can't hand over my sobriety to folks who I don't know. May sound selfish or wrong but given my background this is how I feel right now. I am in treatment because of DUI, I wonder if after this program is complete if I haven't just learned to be a "smarter drinker". On occasion I have drank too much and this DUI has along with my occasional drinking has made parts of my life unmanageable. I do believe that I am genetically predisposed to being an alcoholic and have become one. But I don't trust other alcoholics or "recovering" alcoholics. Am I completely wrong? I have not had a drink in 22 days.
Member: Mark A
Location: Calgary
Date: July 16, 2002
Time: 10:55 PM
hello to all other new members. I am Mark and I am an alcoholic. I have only been sober for three days. I went to a meeting in Calgay, Alberta yesterday. I want to attend either a cyber meeting or regular meeting at least once each day. I am 49 and have tried many times to remain sober. I am sick and tired of getting drunk and want to keep in touch with other newly sober members. Regards Mark
Member: Kim D
Location: Rockford, IL
Date: July 17, 2002
Time: 05:27 AM
Hello to all new members. I am Kim and I'm pretty sure I am an alcoholic. It is hereditary for me, but I let it get the best of me. I pray thanks to God that my Dad is a counselor.. I talked to my Doctor about drinking and depression today. Sobriety and happiness are my goals. Sincerely, Kim
Member: To L.H.
Location: From AZbill
Date: July 17, 2002
Time: 09:36 AM
HI LH. I got sober in Louisville, Colorado in 1981. Retired from Swedish Medical Center 1995. Try this number 303-366-3322. It is the Fellowship Club in Aurora. I should be on the birthday board for August. Mention my name and you will get a good seat. LOL. Ask for Wayman if he is still there. Drop me a line I have tons of contacts in Aurora/Boulder/Louisville/Lafayette/Erie areas. I still own a rental in Aurora. Bill az-bill@mindspring.com
Member: dee w
Location: british columbia
Date: July 17, 2002
Time: 09:55 AM
dee here/grateful alcoholic. Tami, I know it is hard to trust as we've never learned how to. I have been sober for only four months and have taken the risk of trusting those in my AA group. In doing so, I have experienced a great weight being lifted from me. I know it's hard but for me it has been well worth it. I am due to enter a 6 week treatment program in about a month and just know if I don't risk again I will be missing a wonderful opportunity. I wish you all the best and humbly suggest you try trusting even if just a little. take care everyone d
Member: Courtney
Location: TX
Date: July 17, 2002
Time: 05:01 PM
Mark from Calgary, we have both been sober for the same amount of days. Maybe we'll be able to help each other. Hang in there.
Member: Michaela M
Location: France
Date: July 17, 2002
Time: 05:45 PM
((MARK A- Calgery)) Hi I'm 68 days sober now. I've been using on-line AA only up until last Thursday when I came to Paris AA for one week. On-line is great as without it I wouldn't have had any AA contact. Having now experienced face to face meetings I notice the positive change in myself. If you'd like to e-mail me one newcomer to another my addy is: mikkimaynard@emailaccount.com
Member: Val H.
Location: Warrington PA
Date: July 17, 2002
Time: 08:42 PM
Hello Everyone, Val, alcoholic. SARAH P!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you have a question of that magnitude, you must drink heavily. Go to a hospital and get detoxed. Alcohol is the only detox you can DIE from. It is serious and I know from experience. Get professional help and DO NOT do it alone. I cannot stress this enough. PLEASE. I was told as far a sponsorship, to find someone's sobriety that you respect, find someone who's suggestions you will take, listen and watch and pray about it before you ask them.
Member: Mike H.
Location: Charlotte
Date: July 17, 2002
Time: 09:09 PM
My first time at an online meeting.Sober 10+ years and smoke free 53 days.Struck sober at 46 years old.Thanks to AA and Higher Power who did alot of early work thru a sponsor.Their is a pamphlet on this very important subject that i read about a week before i asked someone to be my sponsor.I ran into a guy i used to work with and look up to about 10 years earlier.He walked me thru the Steps and helped save my life.He insisted i go on Step Retreats,but everything else was a suggestion.I have had 3 Great sponsors so far.The last 2 ,i chose by listening,and liking what they had to say.I was told when i was new,that i was no longer in the "Results" business,but in the "Action" business.I take the action,and let my Higher Power deal with the results.Take the action,and get a sponsor. Mike H.
Member: Mark A.
Location: Calgary
Date: July 18, 2002
Time: 10:25 AM
Hi Courtney from Texas and the other new members. I am Mark and I am an alcoholic. I have now been sober 5 days and going strong. I like this website and want to keep posting.
Member: Jan B.
Location: Syracuse
Date: July 18, 2002
Time: 11:23 AM
I am sorry, but I don't agree with the comments that stopping drinking is MORE important than quitting smoking. Mike has made a very big accomplishment by quitting smoking -- let's not forget that or put one in front of the other that isn't what quitting drinking is about. Let's see lets ask the person that has lung cancer or emphasyma if quitting drinking is more important than quitting smoking. You know that women are especially in risk for these diseases at an early age. Both are very important choices in a person's life. I say this with great conviction. When I was twenty six I had kidney cancer. I have been in remission for 12 years - but they told me that my chest x-rays indicated that I would die at a very early age if I continued to smoke. It took me three years to quit - And I know that I would be on death's door if I continued. Quitting drinking has been a very big decision also. I have worked on quitting for the past year. It has been very hard. And I work at it daily. I failed many times at quitting smoking and finally made it -- I hope I can say that I have quit drinking for 9 years some day too. I just wish that people would stop making one addictive life threatening habit a bigger priority over another. Would you say quit alcohol before you quit heroin? With that said...... Mike I think meetings would be of great benefit to you at this time. You are in my prayers and Congratulations on quitting smoking.
Member: Gage
Location: LA
Date: July 18, 2002
Time: 11:42 AM
I'm Gage and I'm an alcoholic. Here is a way to choose a sponsor: In the beginning, almost everyone has days when they feel like they are going to blow up, or vaporize, or simply lie down and never get up again. At least, I believe it's that way for most folks. (Was, and sometimes still is, for me.) On those days, some people are surely going to get drunk. Others, the lucky ones, are going to go to a meeting and pine, whine, nash their teeth, wring their hands, bitch, and bawl like a baby -- sometimes all of these things at once. When you do that, here is what's probably going to happen. People will talk to you. Some of them are going to say how they identify with the way you feel, or how they felt like you do at one time. That's good. Someone might give you a little talk about attitude, how 99% of the quality of life comes from how you look at it. That's good too, and I think it's probably the truth. Someone might offer you some incite into the inner workings of the mind, the subconscious and all. I don't know if that's good, but it probably won't hurt. Certainly, someone will mention God to you, and that's always good. Someone will tell you they love you, and that's always good too. In the course of all that, if someone mentions the steps to you, that's probably the person you want to sponsor you. While a sponsor might alternately sit on you when you want a drink, wipe your tears, give you a strong shoulder to perch on, and be your buddy, ultimately his or her job is to help you understand and guide you through these steps. This is not advice, but my experience. I like it when people do those nice things, and I think they help, but somebody had to help me get past that and get to the solution to my problem.
Member: Chuck K.
Location: Washington state
Date: July 18, 2002
Time: 05:49 PM
Hi all! Chuck K. here grateful alchoholic! My first sponser was a guy who came and talked at the care unit I was at for treatment. I later saw him in a meeting and asked him to be my sponser. We became good friends and while I don't blame him we never did really go thru the steps. My sponser today is a man that really lives the steps. Today for me a sponser's sole purpose is to help a person understand the steps! So I would suggest that a new person look for someone they can be comfortable with who will help them understand these principles. (Tami H.) I can understand how it is hard to trust butit was suggested to me to go to 3 meetings in one week and just introduce myself as someone who is new and wants to find out about AA. Was told if I really listened and was willing to stay after and chat that I might find the answers I was looking for. This has been good advice for me for 19yrs! E-mail me if you would like at begotas@netscape.net I might be able to tell you some people close to you to contact. Always happy to chat about thus program with anyone! Thank you all for my soberiety!!
Member: Les
Location: San Diego
Date: July 18, 2002
Time: 06:21 PM
When I arrived in AA I was a long time practicing Atheist. Some of the first bits of information given my by AA's was to watch others to see who had what I wanted. I began noticing a guy who was always talking about the program and God and was always laughing. He was dying of a metastatic cancer, as well. Anyway, if I was going to be saved by AA I decided I needed to take the Steps and, of course the Second and Third Step certainly required a belief other than Atheism. So, I gathered what courage I could about myself and asked the man for help. I had never asked anybody for help before. Next to not drinking on a daily basis asking this guy to sponsor me was the most difficult thing I'd ever done. Well, he said he would help me to take the Steps and if I was not interested in taking the Steps I could find someone else. He explained what he had done regarding the Steps which was exactly what the book Alcoholics Anonymous instructs us to do. He had taking them before me with help from another member of AA who had done the same. In AA it is not "Do as I say" but "Do as I do." We read the Big Book and followed the directions there in and it worked for me and for him and if your diligent will probably work for you, as well. In AA we never have to sail uncharted waters unless, of course, we want to.
Member:
Location:
Date: July 18, 2002
Time: 07:08 PM
Member: Jay L.
Location: Arizona
Date: July 18, 2002
Time: 07:45 PM
The sponsorship topic is a good one. My very first sponsor was a bible thumper and although I told him that I was uncomfortable with that, he didn't seem to respond to my request for him to stop. Additionally, I found that although he had a few good things to say over the few weeks that we were together, I saw that his life was pretty unmanageable. He clearly didn't have what I wanted, though to tell you the truth, I didn't know what the heck I wanted in early going, anyways. My second sponsor was too laid back and one occasion made a remark that I thought was inappropriate in front of a few ladies. He just sort of tried to put me down in order to make him look good. It didn't work and he looked like a jerk. I lost respect him after that! My third sponsor(this was all in only a few months)was quite a bit different. He worked a good program and was extremely knowledgeable about the big book and the 12 & 12, plus he has a lot of common sense when it comes to real life. Additionally, he's a nice fella. I fired him as well because I didn't like his attitude on a few occasions. At that point, I figured that I'd take a year or so, before going through this again. So that's what I did. Although I was rather accurate about the first 2, I was dead wrong about Steve, the third and once again my sponsor. We have a very good relationship and I find that I can go to him with pretty much any problem and I know that he'll advise me based upon what AA would have me do and not his ego. I trust that what I tell him goes nowhere. I took me a while to find a fella who had the recovery that I wanted. Thanks for the topic.
Member: God
Location: Universal
Date: July 19, 2002
Time: 03:59 AM
JAN B re : quitting smoking/drinking priority. well done. great share. thankyou.
Member: Courtney
Location: TX
Date: July 19, 2002
Time: 09:16 AM
Mark, please keep me posted on how you are doing ok? It's odd how I am trying to fill the hours that I used to spend just drinking on my front porch! I'm reading again, going back to the gym on a daily basis, spending time with my family and horses. It's so much more gratifying than a drunk, don't ya think?
Member: Alissa A
Location: Arizona
Date: July 19, 2002
Time: 03:50 PM
I am newly married. I want to stop drinking. I am scared to death. I want a family. I want to feel whole again. I have been reading posts on the internet all day. I am just so scared to take that final step. Do most people feel this way when trying to stop drinking? Will I get sick? Will I be able to function? Wow it is even scary just to send off this post.
Member: Vivien F
Location: Bathurst, NSW, Australia
Date: July 20, 2002
Time: 09:35 AM
Alissa A - I'm sure that most people feel scared about taking the final step. I certainly did. I have been sober now for only 10 days, although this has not been my first attempt. Whether you get sick or not will obviously differ from person to person and most particularly on how much you have been drinking prior to quitting. I was binge drinking about once a week, and drinking about a bottle of cider (5% alcohol) on other evenings. My last drinks were during a terrible binge and certainly on the first day of sobriety I suffered badly, although that was probably as much from a hangover as anything else. I found that I was a bit nervous for the first few days and very fatigued for the first eight days. I now seem back to my normal self in so far as energy levels. In relation to whether you will be able to function, I'm sure that you will be able to. Try to occupy yourself with those activities that you find most pleasurable in life. If you're into sport, do that. I know just how scary it is to admit that you have a problem. There's no shame in that at all. I really feel for you as I'm only 10 days ahead of you and have a long path in front of me. I have two young children aged 4 months and 18 months and most importantly need to stop drinking for their sakes. That is more important to me then anything. I understand, however, that to quit drinking you must be doing it for yourself primarily. I know that if I don't stop drinking that I'll eventually kill myself or someone else in an accident, and loose my family and career. Alissa, I wish you the best of luck. Please respond and tell me how you're going.
Member: Mark A
Location: Calgary
Date: July 20, 2002
Time: 01:32 PM
HI Courtney in Texas and all new members, I am Mark and still an alcoholic. I have been sober since last Saturday taking it one day at a time. I love this site because I am often lazy to actually go to meetings. Keep posting and stay sober.
Member: Alissa A.
Location: Arizona
Date: July 20, 2002
Time: 08:06 PM
HI, this is Alissa A again. I did not drink last night and have been sober for 43 hours and counting. It was not as bad as I thought it would be the first night, but I have been very edgy with lots of anxiety today. Vivian thank you for the wonderful post. I am so glad that you wrote. It helped more than you can ever know. I went to a recovery store today. I bought the big blue book, and had a long talk with my husband. This is my first attempt too. Now I just have to have the courage to go to an AA meeting.
Member: Olivia G.
Location: Northern Ontario
Date: July 20, 2002
Time: 10:21 PM
I haven't reached that point yet of actually putting down that last drink. I know that it is coming, but I can't say for sure when, only that it is in the near future. I have checked out many suggestions on many an internet site about quitting and I am not sure at this point how I am going to go about it. All I know is that I am going to quit. I do social work with many people who have gone down a path I do not want to go down who are addicted to alcohol and/or drugs/both. Mike like you I have quit smoking for me it has been 3 1/2 years. I too figured one thing at a time. I did a lot of research into quitting smoking as well and put together a plan that has worked. I have to admit that Zyban got me through the worse of it all and a lot of planning got me through the next six months that I found rough at times. I turned 40 recently and I am not too happy with the way things are at this point of time. I guess I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired all the time. Alissa I believe that the courage has come in not drinking for 43 hours, going to AA becomes a decision if that is how you want to make 43 hours turn into 44 days, 45 month etc. God bless you for making it this far. Mark I hope that you too made it through another weekend. I will keep you all posted about what is happening here and when "the day" happens. P.S. Thank you to Staying Cyber for coming up with a "Newbie" area.