Member: Marsha L
Location: Michigan
Date: June 01, 2003
Time: 08:06 AM

Comments

Good morning everyone I have found that letting go of old ideas is an ongoing task--a large one at that. My old ideas are and were the destructive type that made me pick up the bottle. Being sober on a consistant basis has helped to heal a very negative thought process and I don't complain and find fault like I used to. My old ideas were self pity and anger. When I sobered up, I was and am able to put things in the proper perspective and know where those ideas came from. Thanks for listening.


Member: Terry
Location: NY
Date: June 01, 2003
Time: 08:14 AM

Comments

Good Morning everyone. Happy Sunday and happy June 1st. It's raining in my little corner of the northeast again but we have had very little good weather this spring. I am glad I've been out to enjoy the small bits of sunshine we have had though. What a great topic for me this morning! "Letting go of old ideas" is exactly what I have been struggling with lately. I've always had the tendancy to live my life in extremes. If I can't do something exactly the way I want to then I won't attempt it at all. That makes me both a perfectionist and a procrastinator. What I get done though, I do very well. I could just do so much more if I weren't so darn picky about what the circumstances surrounding it need to be! But then if I were good at moderation I wouldn't be an alcoholic either. So moderation in other areas of my life is a goal for me, knowing when good enough is good enough. Here is a quote from the "24 Hours a Day" book: "Some things I like since becoming dry: feeling good in the morning, the full use of my intelligence, joy in my work, the love and trust of my children, lack of remorse, the confidence of my friends, the prospect of a happy future, the appreciation of all the beauties of nature, knowing what it is all about." Happy 24 to you all.


Member: RD
Location: Ontario
Date: June 01, 2003
Time: 08:18 AM

Comments

I am letting go of a lot of old ideas today. Today is my first day. The first idea I have to let go of is that drinking is fun. The next idea is that I can't stop drinking. I took a course on goal setting and how we set ourselves up for failure before we even begin. I will not fail this time - new idea. I can - new idea. I will be back here daily - new habit looking for support. Hope everyone has a great day.


Member: Kim V
Location: kvaughn@madison.main.nc.us
Date: June 01, 2003
Time: 09:27 AM

Comments

Kim V here acoholic. Letting go of old ideas. Well I can honestly say my old ideas were insane. Trying to hold on to old ideas while getting sober is like keeping one foot in the world of dsyfunction and one foot in the reality of soberity. It doesn't work because sooner or later one foot catches up with the other and if you are newly sober you can guess which foot will catch up with which. There is no easier softer way. "Our old ideas were nil until we let go absoultely" A direct quote from the Big Book. We have to smash all our old rationalizations, manipulations and get honest and step back into reality. Then we can see the truth and then and only then are old ideas will mean nothing as we will see them for what the are. The lies that kept us sick and kept us slaves to the diease of alcholism. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Elizabeth E.
Location: Southeast USA
Date: June 01, 2003
Time: 12:28 PM

Comments

Real alcholic named Elizabeth. "Some of us tried to hold on to our old ideas but the result was nil until we let go absolutely." Through my experience in sobriety, letting go is a process. The same way I bottomed out with alcohol, is the same way I bottom out with my ideas and behaviors. Before God got me sober, I always looked in peoples wallets, in grocery store lines, restaurant lines, etc. When I got sober it was one of my most embarrasing "ideas". People would give me some ugly looks when they caught me. Well I finally bottomed out at about three years of recovery. I learned to look the other way. I had to let go absolutely!


Member: Shima S.
Location: Atlanta, Ga.
Date: June 01, 2003
Time: 01:10 PM

Comments

HiShima,a big drunk, I have a couple days sober after being sober for four months. Old ideas are what lead me back. I have had an idea about myself that I had thought I'd gotton rid of after I quit drinking for those few months. I have felt worthless unless I had money, a car, and a nice place. Now I have neither (living at home and broke) and I'm trying to live sober. The hardest part for me is learning to redefine myself with a different definition. How can I pick myself back up and let go of these old ideas while staying sober? Thanks for letting me share


Member: Terry
Location: NY
Date: June 01, 2003
Time: 03:07 PM

Comments

Welcome Shima. I am a little TOO big on giving advice even though I still struggle with my own sobriety (just ask Heather!) All I can say is that we are all here for support and solidarity and that AA has some really good principles and guidelines for anyone looking to get or stay sober. Get the literature and/or get to a meeting. Otherwise all I can say is that we all have inner strength that we can rely on. Find yours and keep the faith.


Member: Diane
Location: Oklahoma
Date: June 01, 2003
Time: 03:22 PM

Comments

hi Diane here day 68 sober, I have had to let go of a lot of old ideas and back off from old habits of chat to keep myself sober. I read a lot of struggles on here and for me I've not really had a lot of struggles as long as I stay sober everything seems to be going well for me. Sometimes I even wonder if I had a problem with Alcohol, but then I remember how I could not stop and had some black outs so that tells me I had the problem plus the fact I've read on here if you start thinking you never had the problem then you go back to drinking which I never want to do again, but I never had the shakes or DT's now once in a while when I drank too much I was shaky in the morning. I kind of feel like maybe I've caught it before it got too bad. I do know it is in my family so I will continue to read this site each day and keep connected to my HP and work the steps. Hope I'm not sounding like a nut case or anything, I just have questions in my head that I am typing down on paper.....


Member: Tracy
Location: Essex England
Date: June 01, 2003
Time: 03:51 PM

Comments

Tracy here Alcoholic, I have had to let go of my ego, pride and the idea that I alone do not know what is good for me, until this I was a hopeless case, now I am a hopeful case. tracy.v@ntlworld


Member: Tracy V
Location: Essex England
Date: June 01, 2003
Time: 03:54 PM

Comments

Hi Tracy Alcoholic here, I have had to let go of my ego, Pride, and the fact I do not know what is best for me, and let go that thought I couldn't let go, until I did this I was a hopeless case. Now I am a hopeful case. Thanks tracy.v@ntlworld.com


Member: Tracy
Location:
Date: June 01, 2003
Time: 03:57 PM

Comments

OOps lost the first post, but obviously God was reading it before he let it go, just to make sure I got the facts right LOL! so please excuse the double share.


Member: Heather
Location:
Date: June 01, 2003
Time: 06:17 PM

Comments

Terry, care to elaborate on that?


Member: DavidH
Location: Nashville, TN
Date: June 01, 2003
Time: 08:27 PM

Comments

First thing was that drinking and drugging didnt work anymore and I simply could not drink or drug. Next I had to realize my way didnt work. This laid the foundation of getting a sponsor, getting into AA and working the steps.


Member: Terry
Location: NY
Date: June 01, 2003
Time: 08:32 PM

Comments

Be glad to Heather, but which topic are you referring to; my own struggle with sobriety or my probably too long winded advice to you regarding your quest for your PhD? (which for those of you interested yeah right! can be found under last weeks' postings.


Member:
Location:
Date: June 01, 2003
Time: 10:15 PM

Comments

((Terry)) I'd love to hear about your struggle with sobriety and more about letting go of old ideas. The way you say things seems to get thru this girl's thick skull. Thanks to all for what they've shared. My experience re letting go of old ideas? Same: results were nil. That's why I'm here. And half measures availed me nothing. For me, "take what you want and leave the rest" doesn't work except for on specific personalities. I need the whole program, whether I want it or not; I need all the "parroted" sayings. My own brilliant thinking availed me naught. 4th day sober almost done, and it's been mostly great. I'll take another 24 to go; wish you all one.


Member: Diane
Location: Oklahoma
Date: June 01, 2003
Time: 11:13 PM

Comments

congratulations Heather on day 4 you are doing good, I've read some on your post in coffee pot area I just have not posted there yet


Member: Mike
Location: Colorado
Date: June 01, 2003
Time: 11:48 PM

Comments

Still sober, and still traveling. Just checking in on a borrowed internet connection to read and write. Still thinking that the best way to quit drinking booze is to QUIT drinking booze. Stay sober.


Member: Stacy
Location: West Coast
Date: June 01, 2003
Time: 11:48 PM

Comments

Letting go of old ideas. This is a daily process for me. I do find that I was very much like you Terry. I wouldn't do anything unless I had absolute and total control of how it would go and turn out. Very controlling person, I am! I was also a perfectionist AND a procrastinator. I sure hope that I can change that. I used to be SO negative and pessimistic and critical and judgemental, need I go on? Now, I notice that I'm more positive. I am more patient. More compassionate. I don't complain and whine incessantly much to my husband's delight. LOL. Attempting to live life one day at a time helps. My goal is to not get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired (HALT) today. Keep my head calm. This is a new idea for me. My head used to race and my body would run to alcohol. My new idea is to take direction from another and recognize that I do not know what's best for me. The old ideas had me running the show and clearly I am not. My spirit was dying. Today it is very much alive and for that I'm so grateful to God and to AA. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Carrie
Location: Los Angeles
Date: June 02, 2003
Time: 12:05 AM

Comments

Hi, Carrie here, a bonified alcoholic. While spending the weekend with my parents, I had to pray alot, read the Big Book alot, call my sponcer and go to meetings. This topic is perfect, because among many of the things i learned this weekend, the biggest lesson was that I have to learn a whole new life. My old life and ideas just dont work into sober living. In order to be happy and to grow, I have to give it all up to my higher power. When i am angry, I pray that the anger be removed and for right action on my part. My old ways, like getting mad and yelling back, just dont work anymore. My old ideas will lead me back to my old drinking - God, I wish just stopping drinking were enough! But, it's not - not for me.


Member: Carlc
Location: NM
Date: June 02, 2003
Time: 01:30 AM

Comments

If you dont drink you wont get drunk, tell that to an arangatang you will get better results. If it was that easy why would we need to spend all this time trying not to drink.I cannot believe the bullshit or advice I hear people give other people who are dying from a life and death illness.


Member: david k
Location: 29 palms
Date: June 02, 2003
Time: 01:32 AM

Comments

hi! david here, and still an ALCOHOLIC. Shima, you are not alone. "BUT THINGS WILL GET BETTER" every day of sobriety builts a better life. three years ten mounths ago i gave up almost every thing. moved to where i live now with a 1970 cadillac and $ 576. to day because of my sobriety, aa meetings, working the steps, ect. ect. and most importent my beleave in myself and my HP as i know him. i now have two cadillacs (a 85'& a 95' ) a lincon town-car, and a 74' rancho. a good bussness , every tool needed for my trade, property & land, the love of my children agin. plus, plus. i would have none of this if i was still drinking and i know i can lose it all if i return to my OLD IDEAS. you may be living at home & broke but you are SOBER.............keep it up david k


Member: shelly
Location: mi
Date: June 02, 2003
Time: 01:48 AM

Comments

hi shelly here, alcoholic. hhhmmmmm! letting go of old ideas. all my ideas are old. and i am struggling really bad to keep reminding myself it is ok to not be ok. i am doing ok. but i want more. i want to fix it all and i cannot. i am frustrated. confused. beginning to hold resentments. getting too. just too. i am tired of living life on lifes terms. but i keep going to meetings. and will continue too. help????


Member: Kathy K.
Location: Northeast
Date: June 02, 2003
Time: 05:32 AM

Comments

Good grief - came to Pot tonight to read as usual - tonight has been something else!!! Anyway - Annie K. Blue Ridge Mtns. - Loved your post re therapist vs. sponsor . Wish I knew how to cut & paste. ERIC ---???---thoughts & prayers are with you. Am down tonight - a friend died last week - had been very ill for a long time, yet sad to have her leave..in a better place, I know. Need to get to more meetings - am way - way off track, I call it. I know that no matter how long I am sober I need to attend meetings and stay right in the middle of my AA friends to keep sober and sane. Am without a sponsor right now. Had the same one for many years, but she decided to stop sponsoring all together.We'e still close friends, but I don't run things by her anymore.


Member: Kathy K.
Location: Northeast
Date: June 02, 2003
Time: 05:40 AM

Comments

Apparently I caught Pot fever - my post was intended to be there - not here. Sorry about that - Newcomers - AA DOES work - I've been around for many, many years- am still sober - a bit crazy sometimes(now!) but still sober and very, very grateful for the Program and these sites where I can speak my mind honestly .


Member: Mike H
Location: Jackson MI
Date: June 02, 2003
Time: 07:44 AM

Comments

Mike, alcoholic. My worst "old idea" was that someday I would be able to drink normally again. I have tried for over 30yrs to "drink normally." Needless to say, no success. Another old idea is that I can run my own life without any help. Wrong again. I have matured enough now to be able to admit mistakes, make amends when necessary, pray and mean it, and most important, ask for help when I need it. Today makes 21 days sober this time around. I'm grateful to God and the fellowship for this accomplishment. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Terry
Location: NY
Date: June 02, 2003
Time: 10:02 AM

Comments

Good morning everybody. Like Mike H. I am still trying to convince myself that I can drink moderately, and I can, for a while. But sooner or later I always overdo it and wake up the next morning feeling sick and remorseful and wondering why I couldn't stop after just 2 or 3 THIS time. I have suffered from anxiety and depression all my life going back to my earliest childhood memories. I never started drinking though until I was in my late 20's. My husband and I had moved to a new place for his job and I knew no one and was feeling very isolated. I was also very shy and making new friends wasn't easy for me. Finally I met a woman my own age who seemed to have a lot in common with me, in fact we would talk for hours and it was such a release for me to finally have someone to commiserate with. Only problem: she was a raging alcoholic. I was too young and naive to know about the illness at the time, all I knew was that I was finally having some fun and drinking seemed like a salvation for me. Of course I didn't over do it nearly as much back then. But as the years went on my husband and I met other couples and went to lots of parties and alcohol became a staple of my social life, esp since I "needed" it to cope with my shyness over meeting new people. Eventually we got older and tired of all the partying, couples moved away or got divorced and our little band of merry makers just drifted apart. My friend died of alcoholism at the age of 41 which should have been a wake up call for me, except that I was convinced that it would never happen to me. Now I'm not so convinced anymore and am really frightened for my health sometimes. What started as a "salvation" has turned into an uncontrollable monster that I have to battle day in and day out. Some days I win and some days I lose, but the only way to win it seems is not to engage the monster at all, i.e. don't pick up the first drink while my mind is not yet clouded by alcohol and I can still reason my way through it. In many respects I have a good life, my husband works hard and loves me, I have a good job, our two kids are terrific and we have a great extended family. Why then do I need to drink? That's a question I ask myself everyday. Thanks for letting me share. Sorry it was so lengthy.


Member: Diane
Location: Oklahoma
Date: June 02, 2003
Time: 11:02 AM

Comments

hi Terry I'm Diane day 69 sober, I was moved for my husbands job and talk about lonely I can get that way sometimes people don't want to be friends with me cause of my husbands job he is a boss for most the folks I meet so that makes it very hard to have a friend. Also live in the country away from a lot of people. I mostly rely on my computer for my entertainment and I don't get very lonely as now.**************************************** Sometimes I still do. Then I go visit my Mom or sisters which is a 2 and 1/2 hour drive and now my Daughter moved from Texas to Atlanta for her husbands job so my Grand children will be a 12 hour drive away, (now this is depressing me (****smile****) I am for the most part happy and sober, I need to find AA group and join it.***Diane***


Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: June 02, 2003
Time: 11:16 AM

Comments

Craig here, another Real Alcoholic (page 21). nothing changes then nothing changes. I also had many of the same bad ideas about everything, others have described. One of the worst, which I still struggle with, iS the belief that I can have something without working for it. I wanted God to make me sober, but I wasn't willing to shut up long enough to listen. I didn't want to go to meetings or learn the steps. I just wanted to stop drinking. Alcohol pounded me into submission and willingness to change. I became as willing as the dying can be. Today and for some time I am happier than I could have every thought possible.


Member: RD
Location: Ontairo
Date: June 02, 2003
Time: 12:02 PM

Comments

A lot of interesting posts here about letting go of old ideas. I got through yesterday which wasn't easy as the sun was shining (that hasn't been happening a lot around here on the weekends) and I was buring meat on the b-b-q. Two major triggers for me to pick up, but I didn't. Old idea would have been I would have gotten more housework done. New idea = got about 7 loads of laundry done, hall closet cleaned out and reorganized,supper cooked and cleaned up without any "help". Probably wouldn't have gotten that much done had I been drinking. Too busy tonight to drink and Monday thru Thrusday are my easy days, weekends are my biggest problem days. Have a great day everyone.


Member: Tracy
Location: Essex England
Date: June 02, 2003
Time: 12:57 PM

Comments

(((RD))) Boy can I idnetify with your post, yep, you could have been posting for me. Thanks for keeping me sober today!! tracy.v@ntlworld.com


Member: Stacy
Location: West Coast
Date: June 02, 2003
Time: 12:58 PM

Comments

((Terry)), we have a lot in comnon. I was not too shy as a child, but I grew up in an alcoholic home and learned quickly how not to express my feelings and to just smile and be good. All this ended up with me being very bottled up and not quite developed emotionally. On the outside I actually looked like I had it all together, but inside I was not well. I have a wonderful, hard working husband, 2 gorgeous babies, live in a beautiful home and I get to stay at home with my kids too. Most young Mom's dreams, but I was drowning in anxiety, lonliness and fear. Alcohol took the edge off and made life bearable...until it started hurting my marriage and tearing me apart. The very same disease that I detested and that killed my Mom ended up getting to me as well! But I'm almost 60 days today and life is getting easier. Without AA, my sponsor, the book, my new friends, this would be very difficult. Mostly because in my so called "normal" life I quickly forget that I am an alcoholic!!!!! Going to meetings etc. is the reminder I need DAILY!!!!! Have good day everyone.


Member:
Location:
Date: June 02, 2003
Time: 01:01 PM

Comments

((Stacey)) WTG


Member: L-RAY
Location: SCOTLAND
Date: June 02, 2003
Time: 01:21 PM

Comments

well done all those staying sober for to-day! Old ideas probably were the biggest thing i had to change when i first got sober< it was hard to give up somethings which i thought were good for me , but i decided that i had to change if i was to keep sober! it tells us -how it works some of us hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go> it could have been easier to find a easier softer way but with a good sponser and hp in my life it became easier! Regards L-RAY


Member: Shima S.
Location: dsowell31@yahoo.com
Date: June 02, 2003
Time: 01:38 PM

Comments

Shima,alcoholic,David K. you were a breath of fresh air!! Thanks I really needed that!! I would like to thank everyone for sharing this is the best place on the web. When I frist discovered the site, about four days ago, I was so hurt(mentally and physically)by my relapse I could not type. I was just praying and reading. I really thank y'all. This last time I really think I was close to death, man what the hell was I thinking!! I guess the problem I was not thing at all. I really just gave in to my problems and did not have faith the my HP would see my through. Thanks for letting me share!!


Member: TR
Location: Louisiana
Date: June 02, 2003
Time: 02:21 PM

Comments

OK, here I go. I'm T, and I'm definately an alcoholic, even after denying it for many years. I went the 12 step route to successfully kicking a drug habit 20 years ago, but felt like I never really had an alcohol problem. Sound like the brain of an alcoholic/junkie??? Of course it does. I've been drinking anywhere from a 6 pack to a 12 pack every day for a few years now, but NOOO, not me, I'm not an alcoholic..... yeah, right. YES I AM... Now that I hate myself again, lets start over and kick THIS demon. I overcame the attraction to my drug of choice of 20 years ago, and have been clean of it. But I fear that all I've really done is replace it with tons of beer. But perhaps not exactly, for about 10 years I didn't drink. Then I started drinking a little, then more, now it is completely out of control. And I told my precious wife this morning that I'm going to try to stop drinking because it has made me not even like what I see when I look in the mirror. I have to go back to work now, at least I can still do that. I'll be back in here in about 5 hours. Thanks for letting me air some feelings, perhaps that will be a good start.


Member: Heather
Location: sunny Rockies
Date: June 02, 2003
Time: 05:04 PM

Comments

Hi. Very grateful alcoholic. Shima, Terry, all newcomers- it DOES get better, and much sooner than you expect. Shima, I understand what you meant by just reading and praying. That's where I started. I was still too scared to be totally sober, but I knew I wanted what was here (even thought the Coffee Pot was boiling hard when I first read it :) ). For a week, I'd get up, sign on, and read, going from one group to the other and posting occasionally. I'd still get up occasionally to have a drink, but they were a lot fewer. Finally, 5/29, I quit entirely. Just in 5 days, it's amazing to see what my HP is doing for me and giving me the strength to do myself. I can actually picture a future and have made a plan to get it and am working that plan. I still lose my temper, both here and offline, but it's much less often and milder. I'm learning that there are two people I can count on: my Higher Power and myself. The others are either not always reliable or not always available. God is reliable and available 24/7, and I'm reliable in that if I promise myself I'll fail, I do; if I believe that I can succeed AND work to get there, it happens and God solves the problems in the way that I can't. Hang in there. Even if it means promising yourself a drink in an hour and reading here during that time, do it. It's better than having that drink right now. Orangutang or not, it's still true that IF YOU DON'T DRINK, YOU WON'T GET DRUNK. It's also true that it is possible (even if it's unimaginable right now) to go the rest of your life without EVER having a drink. I couldn't imagine that. Sometimes I can't imagine it now. I CAN imagine that I can go one more hour sober. If I fill up that time with something constructive (whether it's something that's brain-interactive like this or something like cleaning that allows me to go on physical autopilot while I mull over what I've learned here and figure out what the next most immediate mind-problem is and how to fix it with the tools I've got here, either way I don't drink and I'm changing me and my life. Add prayers to that and working on giving up my own will, completely. That one really seems impossible. I grab it back twenty times a day, but I guess if old-timers hang in there and THEY still have to work at it, then it's doable and it's a process, not a destination. Hang in there. Find a sponsor. An idea that works for me that may help you (or may not): if you want a drink and are determined to have one and are pushing AA out of your head, try something: go find something that really needs doing (balance checkbook, scrub bathroom, ironing, change oil in car) and throw yourself into it hard. When you're done, you'll have accomplished something, and there's a fair chance the urge will be gone. May work for you, may not- just an idea. God bless. Thanks to all youn and my HP for a happy, sober day. Heather


Member: Shima S.
Location: Atlanta, Ga.
Date: June 02, 2003
Time: 06:39 PM

Comments

Shima, alcoholic, thank Heather, once again when I felt defeated this site came to my rescue. I am going to a meeting about an hour from now. I'm really looking forward to this. Maybe I can find someone whom I can talk to in person. I'm enjoying the big book alot. It is funny, my daddy is an recovering alcoholic who has been sober for 13 years; all the books have been in my face most of my life. I just decided to really read for myself instead of reading to show off to the people I had hurt after being a drunken ass. I would like to ask so of the older AAer, I really hurt two people I cared about, when will the pain go away? My heart is so ashamed and the old feelings of my actions keep creeping up.I've said tooooooo much to say sorry again but I am truly sorry to have hurt two people I love!!! Thanks again for letting me share


Member: Bikerbabe
Location: Yoo Hoo is a drink isn't it?
Date: June 02, 2003
Time: 08:46 PM

Comments

OH YOOO HOOOO ((Heather...))) happy 5th honey..


Member: Heather
Location: on the edge
Date: June 02, 2003
Time: 11:16 PM

Comments

I'm going insane. This has been a day straight from hell. I called the central office and would you believe they don't DO 12th step calls!!!!!! Or give rides to meetings at this hour!!!!!! I was writing a check-in to my sponsor and my computer went beserk. (FUNNY, BUT IT'S BEEN DOING THAT SINCE I STARTED COMING HERE!!!!!! IN SPITE OF NORTON!!!!!) computer went poof!!!!! I couldn't take it one more fg secong so I looked up AA to see if I could catch a ride to the last meeting. First # I called was listed as AA but wasn't. Tried one farther down spelled out. Told him what I needed and that I was following directions from group. He said they didn't do 12th step house calls and nobody could give me a ride and I should call back 8-5 to see about getting a ride to a group tomorrow night SO MUCH FOR AA IN MY PRETTY, GREAT STATE!!!!! And I can't get hold of my friend for some damn reason!!!!! Screaming


Member: Heather
Location: Utah NOT a pretty, great state!!! but sober!!!
Date: June 02, 2003
Time: 11:27 PM

Comments

The first damn 12th step work I'm going to do when I've got a car is give my # to the central office and tell them if ANYONE needs a ride THEY HAVE IT AT ANY HOUR IF IT'S TO A MEETING OR IF SOMEONE NEEDS A 12TH STEP CALL!!! THIS HAS GOT TO CHANGE!!!


Member: Cecilia D
Location: Chapel Hill
Date: June 02, 2003
Time: 11:43 PM

Comments

Hi to all. Cecilia, Alcoholic here. Letting go of Old Ideas - I have a lot in common with all of you((((Terry, Tracy and Shima))). Right now I'm struggling to stay away from alcohol, I find myself going back to old patterns of behavior that lead to drinking. I'm trying to think and pray my way out of these old patterns, so I don't take the first drink. God Bless All.


Member: Diane
Location: Oklahoma
Date: June 02, 2003
Time: 11:58 PM

Comments

Heather do you have your email set to view no wait you got hotmail right? anyway in outlook you can change it to not view under View then click layout then uncheck show preview pane that way if some nut sends me a virus I just right click on the email and click on properties and if it's a regular letter you can read what ever they send without the worry of a script virus and even norton don't always catch the newest virus. This is why I don't stick my email up in these rooms. hope I have helped


Member: Heather
Location: still sober
Date: June 03, 2003
Time: 12:09 AM

Comments

Diane, I don't use Outlook Express. I got my hotmail account years and years ago and use netscape to look at it, but it was acting weird even before I put my email up here. It could be sheer coincidence; the only people who have emailed me are not the sort I think would send a virus, and all but one uses hotmail, anyway, and it scans for stuff itself (or so I'm told). My brother is a CNA; I'm going to try to track him down and see what he can tell me. I've thought about getting a physical firewall, but last I checked, they were WAY too expensive. Thanks a lot though. I appreciate it.


Member: Trish K
Location: So. California Desert
Date: June 03, 2003
Time: 12:34 AM

Comments

Hi Trish here greatful recovering alcoholic. Gotta say that once in a while, just to feel I am making progress. Today has been a tough one for me -- don't know why especially. Nothing new and different, or particularly stessful, etc... Just practing the ALT in HALT. (Pity party - and I'm the only invitee). Letting go of old ideas -- thought I was trying to do that -- but apparently it's not working too well -- if today was any measure. I have been trying very hard to immerse myself in all things AA (been to Joe and Charlie Recovery Convention/AA-related (unofficial) ladies retreat/3 meetings a week, got a sponsor, holding office of Secretary at my Wednesday meeting - can't get that 3rd step. My old ideas must be way more ingrained than I thought and they are all VERY, VERY NEGATIVE, ANGRY, RESENTFUL, PIGHEADED ideas at that -- you'd think it would be easy to let go of that BS. I read here and the Coffee Pot and see many "happy" people - who seem to get it on a much deeper level than I and I guess I am frustrated - I feel just as always on the outside looking in. Yes, even in AA I am still not a part of --- but I really believe it's not that folks aren't "nice" to me, etc.. but I just can let my guard down, haven't for 30+ years -- want to but can't/won't/don't know how. Even tears don't seem to weaken it -- if nothing it makes it worse. So Letting go of Old Ideas? Help! T.


Member: CarolD
Location:
Date: June 03, 2003
Time: 12:58 AM

Comments

"Letting go of old ideas" Hmmm...all my ideas about alcoholism were incorrect. "Under the Influence" by Dr. Milam and AA`s Big Book were revelations and literally saved my life. I suggest our still struggling and newly sober member read both....and take ACTION but only if you want to find the serenity and joy sobriety brings. *smile*


Member: CarolD
Location: Dallas, Ga. USA
Date: June 03, 2003
Time: 12:58 AM

Comments

"Letting go of old ideas" Hmmm...all my ideas about alcoholism were incorrect. "Under the Influence" by Dr. Milam and AA`s Big Book were revelations and literally saved my life. I suggest our still struggling and newly sober member read both....and take ACTION but only if you want to find the serenity and joy sobriety brings. *smile*


Member: CarolD
Location:
Date: June 03, 2003
Time: 01:06 AM

Comments

~~~Ah Well...oops...sorry~~~~


Member: Tracy
Location: Essex England
Date: June 03, 2003
Time: 09:53 AM

Comments

((TRISH)) just posted on the pot something similar to what you just said on here about letting your defence down. My god it is like walking into an invisable wall though, can't see it so can't start taking it down, but so much want to, want to know what it is I am hiding can't think anythink that big is behind it. tracy.v@ntlworld.com


Member: Diane
Location: Oklahoma
Date: June 03, 2003
Time: 12:55 PM

Comments

Emotions:A mental state that arises spontaneously rather than through conscious effort and is often accompanied by physiological changes; a feeling: the emotions of joy, sorrow, reverence, hate, and love...........................................Hi I'm Diane day 70 sober my bad emotions that I deal with cause I don't cover them up anymore with Food or booze can sometimes be overwhelming*** I go to my HP a lot and pray and in his love for me I am still sober,


Member: robert j.
Location: angel beach
Date: June 03, 2003
Time: 01:47 PM

Comments

I guess I'm not a newcomer anymore but I can relate to most of the posts,once I became open-minded enough to turn my will and life over to a Higher Power I realized how powerless I was..on my own.I rely on God to stay on track on a daily basis...I can look myself in the mirror today,and somedays I even smile.


Member: Sue
Location: NY
Date: June 03, 2003
Time: 02:36 PM

Comments

Hello all, I come on here w/much remorse but yet I felt it was the one place I could go and be understood. I had been sober a few days & really doing big projects around my house, so much so that my husband was very impressed. somehow, this a.m. I didn't trust myself & found myself telling him that it won't last & sure enough it didn't. Somehow in my alcoholic brain, I had caffeine, which made me edgy and so my old thoughts told me ..alcohol...just one...will help that..but dammit, why don't I learn...it doesn't stop at one...I've now had several beers and I'm on here to try and stop the cycle because the compulsion is to keep going. It IS a disease..the craving is SO strong! DO NOT let it fool you. Why can't I learn this?? I've been in AA, I've read Rational Recovery and contacted Women for Sobriety and still it tricks me every time. I'm so mad at myself! When sober I think I have it all together but it never last long....few days and I get fooled. I hope noone minds that I have posted off subject. I felt this was the only place where I may be understood and I wanted to remind everyone..pls. be careful..that demon is out to trick us at every turn.


Member: Sue
Location: NY
Date: June 03, 2003
Time: 03:07 PM

Comments

I just wanted to mention that I would love to have someone to email for support as I don't drive and have a hard time getting to meetings. Terry/NY..you remind me of myself in the way that you said you were shy and had anxiety very early on and so did I. Also,the extremes rang a bell w/me. So should you want to correspond, please let me know.


Member: Diane
Location: Oklahoma
Date: June 03, 2003
Time: 03:22 PM

Comments

hi Sue and good luck to you and stay off the triggers like Coffee, also don't ever say the words I'm going to fail that is admitting you will fail or at least this is what I've found out. My husband drinks and I caught myself asking him the other night if he was drinking and then I caught the trigger and told myself to stop even talking about it. That is a open door to drink when we start thinking about it and then put it to words. at least this is how I see it, now others may say different but at least you are looking for help so you know you want to stop drinking and that is the first step


Member: Terry
Location: NY
Date: June 03, 2003
Time: 04:39 PM

Comments

Thank you, thank you, thank you to the person who posted the web site for "Rational Recovery." Hope you get to read this. To the rest of you sticking with AA, I am posting this one last time to say good bye to you all and wish you the best of luck. I know now that I cannot recover with this program. There were many things about the AA philosophy that I just couldn't believe in: the belief that drinking too much is a "disease" rather than lack of personal responibility and bad judgement, the neccesity of a group, ANY group, as a means of recovery, and the forced belief of a "higher power" ANY higher power, etc. which goes against my athiest grain especially. I hate to single people out, but I have to say that I won't miss the verbal assaults by the likes of "Bikerbabe" and "Carlc." not to mention someone typing "mememe" a hundred times. Listening to those spew out that acromonious poison isn't recovery, it's just more sickness. No doubt they will have something to say about this post, but I won't be here to read it. Really mean the best to the rest of you who are hanging in there trying. Hope you succeed and understand that I have to do what is best for me.


Member: ducinew
Location: MI.
Date: June 03, 2003
Time: 05:13 PM

Comments


Member: Deci W
Location: California
Date: June 03, 2003
Time: 05:20 PM

Comments

Hi, I have been drunk almost every day for the last 20 years. It got really bad about 10 years ago and I ended up on the street, drugged out and everything else. About 5 years ago, I quit the drugs and pulled myself enough together to become a functioning alcoholic, very proud of myself. Usually just a few beers after work, with the occasional embarrassing binge. Two years ago I became reinvolved with an old boyfriend and we moved in together. Our relationship back in the eighties had been very turbulent and alcohol filled. During the nineties, he found AA and was sober for 8 years. Of course, we began to once again drink together, first beer, then wine, but we graduated to vodka. We both blame each other. We set resolves and we fail. A week ago, we each polished off a fifth of vodka on my day off and got in a fight. The upshot is, he is in jail on felony charges and I have a broken cheekbone and a concussion. I know the drinking was a major factor, and my heart is broken for both of us, and also that it is truly a wake-up call. I don't know what the future holds but I know that vodka is not it. I've limited myself to a couple of beers a day since it happened because I am trying to think straigth. I have not drank today but am craving a cold beer bad. Just need to talk and try. Letting go of old ideas that beer will make it better. Thanks.


Member: ducinew
Location: MI.
Date: June 03, 2003
Time: 05:22 PM

Comments

I am a hopeless alcoholic. I went into treatment earlier this year and have since relapsed 6 or seven times. An AA friend told me today that some have to die for others to live, and referred to me as a "hardcore drunk". I'm desperate to get this right. Changing MY way of doing things is so very difficult to me. I prefer the easier softer approach. I do know that in all my years of doing things my way I've made a mess of my life and my two daughters didn't ask for this existance. I insist on thinking I can continue to dip into that bottle with no repercussions when everything points at my inability to do so.


Member:
Location:
Date: June 03, 2003
Time: 07:53 PM

Comments

Dedi, way to go. You can do this. Same for you, Ducinew, but you've got one thing wrong: you CAN'T keep dipping into that bottle with no repercussions. You can't. If you still don't believe it, try it again. Try to control your drinking. When your research has satisfied you that you can't control it and can't stay away from it, we'll be here with arms outstretched. Deci, if you want to email me, it's leahhmc1- hotmail.com. I left out the @ because hopefully (I don't know) that will not attract "spiders"- web crawlers. Glen, any comments? If you want to email me, I'm in Utah, so only one TZ away, and if you want, we can talk on the phone. I can foot the bill; I have a few hours on my phone of LD that are just going to waste. I only have 6 days, but if I want to keep them, I have to reach out to others. (After all, that's what Bill and Dr. Bob did- they didn't wait till they had a zillion years sober to try to help someone.) I don't have all the answers, but I have a listening ear and I've been there, as recently as today. I wanted that kitten more than anything in the world, and nothing I could do could save her. It's a miracle that we were able to keep her alive that long. Also, my friend just up and disappeared. He doesn't contribute to rent or anything here, but he needs a place to live, so how could I turn him away? My husband agrees. The only rule we have is CHECK IN. If you aren't going to be home by midnight, call and account for yourself. (Reasonable, given the people he runs with, and especially reasonable since he gives me HELL if I do the same thing (and I did, once or twice, way back when.) So I'm hurtin' No amount of money would have saved that kitten. It will stop hurting after a while, but damn, it hurts now. I'm trying like hell to just turn my feelings over to God (I sure don't want them :) ) Anyway, I'm sort of out of it from shock, but ifyou need to write, do. Love to all my potter friends. Heather


Member: Heather
Location: rockies
Date: June 03, 2003
Time: 07:54 PM

Comments

Sorry, that was me. Damn, I almost think I'd be more functional if I were drinking!! (at least temporarily).


Member: Deci W
Location: California
Date: June 03, 2003
Time: 09:35 PM

Comments

thank you for the support, Heather. Honey is still in jail, his neice was just here, we had a good talk. I do not know his family very well, they have been staying away because of the drinking. (They are all recovering alcoholics) Anyway, I'm hanging in there.


Member: Anne M.
Location:
Date: June 03, 2003
Time: 10:27 PM

Comments

Hello to all. Changing old ideas... not so easy as one may think.. because sometimes, if I am going through a particularly stressful time, I find all the old Negative emotions creeping in and then the negative thinking comes shortly after.. that's a dangerous place for me... the idea that , somehow, I would be better off with a drink. Sometimes , it's smooth sailing, and other days I have to use every tool I know, and reach out to others. Thanks for listening and I wish you all another 24 hours of sobriety.


Member: Stacy
Location: West Coast
Date: June 04, 2003
Time: 01:10 AM

Comments

Hi all. Day 58 for me and I'm feeling good. Went to a mtg last night and this morning. It sure makes a difference getting to live mtgs. I really love this site too, don't get me wrong. Sad that Terry left for rational recovery. I appreciated her posts so much. What is Rational Recovery. Very happy with AA and not shopping around, but I'm curious. Hope all of you are enjoying the 24.


Member: Just Sharing
Location:
Date: June 04, 2003
Time: 09:46 AM

Comments

Rational Recovery teaches that an addiction can be controlled. Which is, of course, absolutely accurate. Ask any of the many, many alcoholics who control their drinking, or control their NOT drinking every day. I controlled my drinking right into the doors of AA, where I learned about surrendering and not fighting the fight anymore. Rational Recovery is about controlling the addiction; AA is about being free of the need to practice the addiction on a daily basis. RR kept me in prison, AA set me free. Just my experience.


Member: Kathleen
Location: Florida
Date: June 04, 2003
Time: 09:51 AM

Comments

Hello all, KAthleen here alcoholic. Letting go of old ideas meant letting go of the manipulations, lies and the such. True to whoever said.."If we don't drink we don't get drunk"...but if all I did was not drink, nothing else would have changed. And it was via the 12 steps that gave me the freedom to like myself again and find a "new freedom and new happiness."... I drank from a very early age and was miserably unhappy in life, hated myself and felt sad and suicidal for most my life until the gift of sobriety and freedom were given to me from AA and those who have lived the principles of the program. It's a wonderful feeling to be trustworthy and to be able to trust others day. Peace.. KAthleen


Member: Julie Moore
Location: Alva, Fl
Date: June 04, 2003
Time: 11:31 AM

Comments

Hi Everyone Jules here. I really like this topic. My old ideas are what brought me here for help and my new idea is to keep coming it works for me. My life was fast, trouble, ego, power and noone else mattered. Today God runs my life on a daily basis. I have turned my life and thoughts over to a higher power and I don't live in my past or associate with old people, places or things that could remind me and take me back. I have suffered enough with my addiction and now like Terry and her "24 Hour a Day Book" says life can be so simple and the little beauties of nature are what I enjoy along with a job that rewards me daily by people smiling because I did something to help them feel better. Life is so great now I can see it clearly. I thank God for rising my clouded vision and showing me the light of life. Thanks for letting me share....


Member: Trace
Location: Essex England
Date: June 04, 2003
Time: 01:35 PM

Comments

((JUSt SHARING)) that be the most important post on here. Thank you


Member: Carrie
Location: Los Angeles
Date: June 04, 2003
Time: 02:06 PM

Comments

Julie, you said it all. Thanks for your share.


Member: Bikerbabe
Location: Hellishelping
Date: June 04, 2003
Time: 02:14 PM

Comments

Just for me..."and speaking from basic common sense: and a scientific fact" a drug was a drug was a drug. i used mostly alcohol.. but if that wasn't available i would use whatever..Anyone relate?. anyhow.. that being said... here's some food for thought.. go to aa and see people drinking pots of caffinated coffee and smoking packs of cigs.... and listen to them 'whine when someone brings up the topic of "drugs .interesting: (enter shouting): (Go to NA! that doesn't belong here!) im fallin off my chair again)) god i love alkies. this is as confused as it gets. because scientifically alcohol is a drug sheesh! ... then take a wonder over to NA and see them smoking packs and packs of cigs and drinking pots of caffine, and watch them take a 'chip or claim some length of "clean" time... (enter clapping here)) So there you go.. it is what it is....what exactly is it? in my estimation .. a mere starting point.. i suppose it makes some sense,, cant' quit everything at once they say.. baby steps and all that...bye now.


Member: Carrie
Location: Los Angeles
Date: June 04, 2003
Time: 04:40 PM

Comments

One of my old ideas I am learning to let go of is looking for differences in people as opposed to the similarities. Instead of being critical, i am seeing what there is to learn from people and situations. And I am a much happier person for it.


Member: neil s.
Location: suffolk, england
Date: June 04, 2003
Time: 04:59 PM

Comments

hey all, neil here, alcoholic, ((just sharing)) thank you for your share, to continue on that same subject, if i may... i came to AA on 30 sep 02, worked the steps (1,2 &3) got a sponsor, (all cyber) never a F2F meeting, well not this time, after about a month of SEARCHING and still not getting that warm anf fuzzy feeling we all hear so much about from AAers, i too went searching, rational recovery, addiction alternatives, SMART, the 4 step process, SOS, you name it it is out there and i have most likely read it, joined the "chats" and everything, (still have some freinds in "smart") but NEVER got that warm and fuzzy feeling on these sites either, so i gave up one MAJOR old idea that i have had all my life, and decided to REALLY work "the system" i decided to give AA my ALL, my 100%, work ALL the steps, go to meetings, really really work it then after all is said and done if i STILL have no "warm and fuzzies" i will look else where, but untill then, I know I am an alcoholic, Iknow i CAN'T "CONTROL" my drinking, I KNOW i will NEVER be able to drink again, but i also know i CAN'T do it without AA, all of those other sites are great for some, but for those us that know we need AA, maake a promise to yourself (ourselves) to really work it before making any judgement (((bikerbabe))) always love your posts, keep on keepin on !!


Member: Heathe
Location: Utah
Date: June 04, 2003
Time: 08:58 PM

Comments

Neil, what is your "old idea" of God or a power greater than yourself? Maybe that's what you need to let go of. Mine was a very real, very judgmental God who punished those who didn't do things His way. That's not was I was taught but that's what came in my ears. Steps 2 and 3, which you said you've taken, might warrant re-doing. They sure did for me. A power greater than myself WHO LOVED ME, NO MATTER WHAT, FOREVER, AND WANTED TO HELP ME AND EASE MY SELF-INFLICTED PAIN, was a cool idea to me. I didn't quite know how to believe in that, but figured it was worth a shot, since what I had believed in wasn't helping. Having got that far, I decided to turn my life over to the care of THAT God and see what happened. THAT'S when the warm fuzzy part came in, and it grew as I watched to see what that God wanted to do with me or give me. I told him I'd made a total mess of myself and hurt a lot of people, including myself; would He please help me fix it? He did, starting immediately. It's hard to ignore that your prayers are being answered when the answer comes while one is saying "Amen", and that happened to me numerous times. Miracles are happening. When I want to see all the problems in my life, I see them. They're there. When I want to see the tools my HP is putting around me to overcome those problems, they're there, too. Maybe it's your concept of your hp you need to let go of and try again on 2 and 3 if you want the fuzzy feeling... Just a thought. Love and prayers to you. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Bikerbabe
Location: Live and kickin them stones again....
Date: June 04, 2003
Time: 11:18 PM

Comments

No! its not good enough... im too alcoholic... cur the stones again... wheee hooo eeee I cant get nooo sad is faction,,, I cant get no oo satisfaction... but i try and i try and i try and i try.... i cant get no... da da da ... da da da da da.........da da ......da da da....da da da da da.......bikerbabes live and kickin it for ya all.


Member: Diane
Location: Oklahoma
Date: June 05, 2003
Time: 12:07 AM

Comments

hi Diane here just need to put my 71 days sober in, not really got much to say today. Been too busy trying to learn Red Hat Linux...God Bless and another 24 hours to you all...Diane


Member: Carlc
Location: NM
Date: June 05, 2003
Time: 01:00 AM

Comments

Terry from NY, goodbye hope you find whatever it is you are looking for, the only way to do that it to drink, drink, and drink some more, an when you find you cannot stop and RR dosent, work and rest of the nonsense dosent work give AA a sincer try that is assuming that you are an alcholic. What I dont understand is why people that are not alcoholic would want to stop drinking. There is not one thing wrong with drinking alcchol if you are a social drinker, there is nothing wrong with drinking if you dont drink and drive or beat up your wife , or get fired, or wreck cars, or go to jail, or abuse your family, or do some of the horrendous things people that are alcholic do. If I wasnt an alcoholic I would enjoy drinking but the fact is I am one and cannot touch a single drop.


Member: Troy C
Location: Maryland, USA
Date: June 05, 2003
Time: 01:02 AM

Comments

Hello Everyone, My name is Troy , and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict. As of June 2, 2003 I have been clean and sober. Thank God , literaly. This is the first time I have seen this site, and am glad I found it.I am dealing with changing my old ideas every day.My job requires me to see my clients I have worked for, for years.Most every one of them endulge in one or both things I am recovering from. Most of them are kind to me , about my newly found sobriety. Others still can't accept beleiving I would accually quit. I get a lot of negitive encouragement, like" yea right" and "you'll never stay off the stuff. I am lucky because, my home group is mainly biker based friends whom I can relate. I see things of these people , I thought I would never see.One of these people is my good friend I have known and rode with for over 20 years.My change in old ideas is bringing me back to older friends that have been clean and sober for 5 years or more. they tell me to use them as tools to see the good of sobriety.I thank God for AA and true friends like I now experiance a new way of life! Thanks for letting me share,Troy


Member: Carrie
Location: Los Angeles
Date: June 05, 2003
Time: 03:24 AM

Comments

Welcome Troy! Glad you made it!!


Member: neil s.
Location: suffolk, england
Date: June 05, 2003
Time: 05:15 AM

Comments

hello all, neil here, alcoholic, (((heather))) my old idea is/was that i could do this on my own, like all the other folks at "RR", "SMART", etc., but i know i can't do it without my HP, that was the point i was trying to make, that istead of putting ANYTHING in front of my HP, put my HP in front of everything. we can all do it JUST FOR TODAY. welcome troy!!!


Member: Trace
Location: Essex England
Date: June 05, 2003
Time: 08:39 AM

Comments

Hi ((Neil)) glad to see another english poster LOL! I'm from Essex won't tell you where as its a sore point, oh alright then Dagenham, but Essex always looks better.


Member: Jen
Location: NJ
Date: June 05, 2003
Time: 09:03 AM

Comments

Jen here, alcoholic. The old ideas I need to let go of are: If someone is mean to me or is having a bad day and takes it out on me, I should go drink about it. If I'm having a bad day, I should go drink about it. If I'm having a good day, I deserve a drink to top it off. As you can see, those three old ideas just about cover every possible kind of day I can have. The ideas keep popping into my head. Using my rational brain hasn't been of much help, nor has praying. Nor has sharing. Nor has going to a meeting. I used to be a smoker. I was able to quit smoking much more easily than quitting drinking. Maybe cuz I wore that patch. Thanks for listening (or reading).


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: June 05, 2003
Time: 09:30 AM

Comments

Hi All, Welcome ((Troy)). You sound very positive. Keep coming. As for "Rational Recovery" or the like, been there, done that years ago. Bought a book on moderate drinking too. I wish I wrote it because it would have made me rich as it is every alcoholics dream to drink moderately. As CarlC said if you are an alcoholic it can't be done. If it can than congratulations you are a social drinker after all. I'm a drunk and thats ok because I have by the grace of God not injested alcohol in 8 months. I give AA all the credit because I am weak and need a power greater than myself every day to keep me sober. AA also has made my life happy with the fellowship and friends and passing the message to other alcoholics. Last night I went on a commitment to Mass and spoke. People came up to me and thanked me afterwards. I can help someone... way cool. As for "Letting go of old ideas", The thinking that got me here was that I was strong enough to get through anything on my own steam. Every day I have to remind myself to (let go and let God). I can't, he can, I think I'll let him. I have to (((surrender))) every day and not run on my own will but his. Peace. Kelly


Member: James
Location: Chicago
Date: June 05, 2003
Time: 10:30 AM

Comments

Here's my old idea: I don't have a drinking problem. Here's my new idea: I have a drinking problem but can moderate it. Is this dangerous? I think I know the answer I'm going to get from people of the AA philosophy, but Kelly M's comment has fascinated me... Am I an alcohol abuser with bad habits that can be changed or am I an alcoholic taking a fatal path on the road to misery?


Member: maggs
Location: wa
Date: June 05, 2003
Time: 11:16 AM

Comments

coming to terms that i had a problem and that i need help and realizing that i can't do it alone , was the biggest and hardest of the old idea's to let go of.


Member: Diane
Location: Oklahoma
Date: June 05, 2003
Time: 12:27 PM

Comments

I know I can't drink, I know if I do drink it will start a chain of drinking and then come my night time drinking each night,I rely on my HP to remind me why I stop drinking and to keep me sober, I'm Diane sober 72 days today. Welcome (((Troy C))) we have had degree's of the problem of drinking and for this alkie I know I need to not drink ever again...thanks for being here,,, sometimes we disagree but our goals are all the same and that is to not drink


Member: Carlc
Location: NM
Date: June 05, 2003
Time: 07:25 PM

Comments

James from chicago, dont waste your time on listening to all these people , they will all try to save you and you will get some of the most ridiculous advice that the human mind can come up with. You should be out drinking and haveing a good time, give it hell and then and only then you will find out if you are alcoholic or maybe just have a drinking problem. Either way like I said before the only way to find out is to drink. I wish people would stop trying to sell the idea that AA is about stoping drinking, it is not about stopping drinking or moderating or any of the other pyschobabble that you hear in and out of AA. Alcoholics Anonymous is about finding a power greater than yourself which will solve your problem. My problem was not Jim Beam, or Crown Royal or Miller Lite, or Bud, or marijuana, or cocaine, or meth or uppers and downers, or old spice shaving lotion or vanilla extract, or listerine and scope, although I put all that stuff in my system, My problem was ME, this spiritual malady that centers in my mind, that why we have only two alternative, we either go to the bitter end or we accept spiritual help, that is why no sponsor, no wife , no children, no parents, no judge, no employer, no minister, no priest, no rabbi, no human being can relieve us of insanity, but GOD COULD AND WOULD IF HE WERE SOUGHT. I feel sad for all the alcoholics that are being led down the wrong road by this pollyanna bullshit that is being spread in AA thousnds of alcoholics are dying in the rooms of AA because they are not being told the truth, if you want to stop drinking thats is Gods business if you want what we have that is our duty, to guide anyone who is willing to make the effort through the 12 steps the way they are oulined in the book, not all this other bullshit that we tell people. The book says burn into the consciousness of every man than he can get well regardless of anyone the only requirements are that he TRUST GOD AND CLEAN HOUSE.


Member: Diane
Location: Oklahoma
Date: June 05, 2003
Time: 09:44 PM

Comments

see Carlc same goal just yours is all mad mine uses my God yours likes to fight mine likes to stay sober yours wants to always be right, mine knows God is right


Member: Shima S.
Location: Atlanta, Ga.
Date: June 05, 2003
Time: 09:55 PM

Comments

Hi all, Shima here, still a drunk!! welcome Troy I'm new here also but this site is great!! I want to ask some of the older people how did they stop taking their will back??? I have always view myself a realitively spiritual person. I thought I had faith but examianing my life I guess I'm not. That has hurt me the most. I want to learn how to give this madness to God and not drink? Thanks for everyone's powerful words. And thanks for letting me share.


Member: Erin
Location: Midwest
Date: June 05, 2003
Time: 10:19 PM

Comments

Ok - it's been 10 months since my first AA meeting and I've goine to atleast 1 meeting a day. I just had 4 months and 3 days of sobriety and I'm back to drinking again and see no end in sight. How do I stop? How do I surrender? I don't want to looose it all. help.


Member: Bikerbabyface
Location: Gangsterland
Date: June 05, 2003
Time: 10:26 PM

Comments

Well hello to all....So: I like to fight...... hey Carl... wanna go? This is just my rather egotistical opinion, but what the hellishelping... (everyone should listen to carl) .. he's making some good ol fashion aa sense.. whoo hoo carl... go man go!! (James....(sweetheart... giver till ya quiver. Welcome Troy..... hooo eee ...so? yu a real live biker? wanna see my skull cap honey? lol And Mark if your out there and lurking kinda creepy like...(enter smile here).... "D-flat said i could tell ya ta come on home to me honey... cause he wears wife beater shirts and i don't like em.... he said i could tell you something else about him... but nope: your not gettin that tasty morcel of gosip...((as usuall i like to stay as sick as my secrets...shoo eee... everyone be live and kickin it..with thier homies...ats' 'srite... just kicking back readin all the posts.. and it occurs to me im pretty much scrollin past all the females.. im like .. ya ya ya..big book..scroll...ya ya get to meets..scroll.. keep coming back..ya scroll, step 3.. ya ya made a decision...and im paying more attention to the males posts... suddenly im feeling kinda preditor like... oh god... have mercy on me... I want to swing with all the good looking guys.. until i find the one for me.... is that wrong?


Member: God
Location: << to Bikerbabe
Date: June 05, 2003
Time: 10:33 PM

Comments

<<bikerbabe.. My child>> why don't YOU 'giver till ya quiver....


Member: Shima S.
Location: Atlanta, Ga.
Date: June 05, 2003
Time: 10:59 PM

Comments

Erin, Shima here, I'm in the same boat and I know it is hard!! The only thing that come to mind is we stick together and help each other. I can e-mail you or vice versa. I have no problem with either. Maybe we can help each other help ourselves!! Thanks for letting me share


Member: Carrie
Location: Los Angeles
Date: June 06, 2003
Time: 12:11 AM

Comments

Carlc, I don't understand your comment: " I feel sad for all the alcoholics that are being led down the wrong road by this pollyanna bullshit that is being spread in AA thousnds of alcoholics are dying in the rooms of AA because they are not being told the truth", I am hearing the spiritual message in every meeting I go to. But maybe that's because I can, and some people refuse to. I didn't get it for a long time, I had to just get my ass to those meetings, even if I didn't understand what anyone was talking about, even though I never ever thought I was going to be some sort of AA person, eventhough I wanted to drink. I kept going, and eventually I got the message. AA is all about God, that's the only way it works, but some will never be able to accept that and unfortunately, many of them will die drunk. Just a little fact I have to accept about human nature & alcoholism. Maybe you need to find a new meeting.


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: June 06, 2003
Time: 12:50 AM

Comments

((Shima and Erin)), I wish there was a magic bullet to staying sober. All we have is our own experience to share here. I come here to read how it works for others and sometimes it just clicks. Sometimes I cringe and sometimes I laugh. I can always relate though. We are all battling alcoholism and the first year is tough. Surrender is tough and hard to explain. For me it had to be I was so sick and tired of being sick and tired I completely gave up. Only then could I let go and accept a power greater than myself into my daily life. My HP is guiding me through the steps slowly and the burden is no longer on me all the time. Left to myself I would drink again because that is what I do, I'm a drunk and always will be. Now I am sober one day at a time and at least for me I am grateful to have my life back. I'm not going to split hairs about what parts of AA are good and bad because the program keeps me alive. I take all the suggestions and so far so good. As they say, take what you need and leave the rest. Good Luck. Kelly


Member: Kathleen
Location: Florida
Date: June 06, 2003
Time: 01:31 AM

Comments

((((Carlc))) When my desperation of the disease of alcoholism took me to my bottom and I wound up in detox for the umpteenth time, a woman who chaired a meeting there became my sponser. I'll forever be grateful for her as she gave me her expierence, strenght and hope. She led me through the steps, and I was willing to go to any lenghts to stay sober. She also taught me that I can't keep anyone sober nor can I get them drunk. So if someone who reads here goes out and drinks, and uses what someone posts here as an excuse to get drunk then that is sad, but that is all it is is an excuse. The program of AA, in my opinion, for whatever it's worth, is the 12 steps. I once heard a man speak. He was about 90 or so years old and he said something I'll never forget as I was one who did put people in the program on a pedistole. He said, "don't put all your faith and trust in the people of AA cause we are all sick people trying to get well, put your faith and trust in the program of AA, the 12 steps." People can come here and fault this site all they want, but the responsiblity for me to stay sober lies in my lap. If someone wants to stay sober more than they want to drink then they will find the path to do so. Thanks for helping me to remember some of the basics my sponser taught me back in 82... peace


Member: Carlc
Location: NM
Date: June 06, 2003
Time: 01:31 AM

Comments

Carrie I absolutly love alccholics and and I love THE MOST HIGH, and I love AA. We tell people fake it till you make it the book says God could and would if he were sought. We tell people to wait till the miracle happens, we read everyday there is one who has all power may you find him NOW. We tell people if you dont drink you wont get drunk, the book says we suffer from and illness ONLY a spiritual experience can conquer. We tell people let us love you until you can learn to love yourself, the book says strenuous work one alcoholic with another was vital to permanent recovery. We tell people dont drink, go to meetings and call your sponsor , call him or her for what?? The book says Trust God, clean house and give freely, what in the world is all this hiring and firing all about?? I have been in the program for over 20 years, havent had a drink for about 15 but only been sober since I took the steps the way they are outlined in the book, which was about 7 or 8 years ago. Time is not that important to me what is imprtant to me is my realtionship with my creator and how I interact with the people about me. Hi Bikerbabe, you are not cool, you are TOO COOL.


Member: Sober enough
Location: to satisfy
Date: June 06, 2003
Time: 01:39 AM

Comments

Bikerbabe, u out there baby? Where u at? Who says we cant quit drinkin an stil party hardy? Yu as fine as yu sound? Come back...


Member: Deci W
Location: California
Date: June 06, 2003
Time: 02:11 AM

Comments

I wandered into this site because I had just been though a horrible alcohol-fused abusive situation and I was looking for guidance and support in dealing with what alcohol had wreaked in my life. What I have found is a lot of people attacking each other and being quite smug about their own superior relationships with their HP. I have never been to an AA meeting, but this board contains a lot of hate. I have seen some honesty and giving here, but for the most part, I see a great need for more outreach and love. A very bitter environment here for the most part, let go of that. Self-absorbtion and ego recover nothing.


Member: Matt R.
Location: Texas
Date: June 06, 2003
Time: 03:17 AM

Comments

"Old Ideas" ... I had to lose the idea that I could have a drink or three to relax, or to calm down when I am upset ... I have done this over and over, and it always makes things worse, the last time recently it cost me very dearly. In retrospect I have finally learned something, this time it will stick ... I cannot drink at all.


Member: Carrie
Location: Los Angeles
Date: June 06, 2003
Time: 05:01 AM

Comments

Deci you really haven't been to an AA meeting before!! It takes a while to get used to the way we alcoholics do things, we tend to be a little crazy from time to time. Plus, throw in the never ending debate over the best recipe for sobriety - why you got yourself one heck of a party!! The bottom line for us is one alcoholic talking to another, because no one else understands alcoholism like the alcoholic. It might get to be a little too much at times, but we need eachother. We have a saying "Progress not perfection" and like most things in life, we dont start from the top, we have to work our way up from the bottom.


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: June 06, 2003
Time: 06:56 AM

Comments

(((Carlc))), What is eating your shorts? You are on a AA New Sobriety board spouting off with 20 years in the program reciting the big book like a mantra and yet you have zero peace or humility. You forgot what got you sober in the first place and that was AA so give it a rest. You remind me of the Jerry Falwell of AA picking apart anything in the Big Book and construing it your way. Get off yourself and quit coming here scaring away newcomers with all your anger. As you are NOT a newcomer you are only supposed to share on this board ONCE A WEEK and that is the rule here. Do you have a problem following directions as they are laid out on this message board? You are a prime example of how I do not want to be with 20 years of sobriety. Dry, crispy, angry and full of rage. I see people go out with many years of sobriety and it is usually because they stop working the program not over sponsors or slogans. That sounds like a big excuse to me. So what is eating you really? B honest...


Member: "Old-timer"
Location: Indiana
Date: June 06, 2003
Time: 07:10 AM

Comments

Hello All, thanks for being here for me. To Diane in Oklahoma: I'm glad you were able to get sober before it got too bad but please hear this: IT KEEPS PROGRESSING EVEN AS WE SPEAK HERE AND LIVE SOBER. That means that if you are sober ten years and drink again it will be as far along as if you had been drunk those ten years. That blows the mind but is true, as many of us have proven to ourselves beyond any doubt.


Member: Diane
Location: Oklahoma
Date: June 06, 2003
Time: 10:59 AM

Comments

I agree with you old timer and yes I know I have a problem and am a alkie I just am thanking God I caught it before I was in a bunch of black outs that I don't remember. I stop drinking for my health and my Son then I realized as I stayed sober how important it is for me to stay sober for me. I depend on my God daily and pray a lot. I don't crave booze as of today and I pray daily that God will keep that craving away... I am new to AA so I sure don't have all the answers, I do think there is a lot of good Ideas in AA that is why I keep coming back to this site. I also like being able to put my sober days in each day. It means a lot to me. may not excite the rest of you but I love it. Thanks for caring enough to even notice me.... I'm not very good at this writing thing, mostly I am a doer not a sayer. I love computers so I am into learning red hat linux as of now, anyway thanks for being here for me. day 73 sober...Diane


Member: Diane
Location: Oklahoma
Date: June 06, 2003
Time: 11:05 AM

Comments

ooops forgot to say Kathleen from Florida I did enjoy your post


Member: DanB
Location: florida
Date: June 06, 2003
Time: 01:34 PM

Comments

I was sober for 20 years and started nibbling a couple of years ago. Sips of wine at first, then a glass, then glasses. Now I'm doing beer - 12-24 cans a week, drinking almost daily, drinking on the way home from work, drinking to relax, to party, to death. I know I have to quit, but I'm just watching it happen now, almost like I'm watching another person. What really made me realize how pathetic I had become was when I went to a recital my daughter was singing at and she told me not to introduce myself to anyone - I smelled strongly of beer. I had been drinking the whole weekend and it was coming out the pores of my skin. After 20 years, I had foregotten how disgusting I could be. Anyway, I guess I'm back to being a beginner. Good luck all you other newbies.


Member: Suzu J
Location: NYC
Date: June 06, 2003
Time: 04:01 PM

Comments

My name is Suzu and I'm an addict and alcoholic. I came to this site cuz the Coffee Pot was too stupid. This one is a little bit better. Came out of rehab 3 weeks ago and didn't take the advice I got to have someone go through my house with me and look for drugs I had hidden. Well, I found them and took them. Valium and Vicodin. I got wasted and then felt shitty so I threw the rest out now I gotta go thruogh withdrawl again. I don't want to do this I want to keep using. But I know that will ruin my life. I've already fucked up my job with this shit.. Anybody have any advice on how to want to quit? I didn't go to any meetings either so I have no real contacts. I don't see how a meeting will make me not want to use. It's just talk, I dont know I'm fucked. Advice, please.


Member: Bikerbabe
Location:
Date: June 06, 2003
Time: 04:32 PM

Comments

Well hello sober enough.. so what say? shall we show the others how its done? Lets rock and roll... how long you been sober sweetheart?...oh and ya.. i am a hottie... yesiree.... for sure.. sex is the greatest thing,,, and some people think about it but never talk about it... im so gratefull today for sex.. So: Have you found Jesus yet?..you got icq? ... maybe we could get to know each other better...ps...if i am correct there was someone else who was looking for another alkie to partner up with.. for fun, love, sex and a maybe a few lies..hmmmm now who was that?.... nope... guess it was just me...come back...oh ya and i almost forgot...gee wiz sober guy.. you got me all excited now.. (For the newcomers... keep coming back.. read your big book, go to meetings and talk to others about doing the steps sometime....


Member: Heather
Location: in hell (but not with Bikerbabe, thank God)
Date: June 06, 2003
Time: 06:03 PM

Comments

Drank again last night. Hate myself. Talk about "cunning, baffling, and powerful"- truer words were never said. For those who are so inclined (and I seem to draw plenty without drinking, so this should be good), go ahead and rag at me; I KNOW you can't make me feel worse than I already do, but if it floats your boat....take a swing.


Member: Diane
Location: Oklahoma
Date: June 06, 2003
Time: 07:47 PM

Comments

Heather? Why? You will wag of yourself more then anyone else could ever do, just start over is all I can tell you. On a good note I got Linux installed (YES) Got my partition done right and even got it on my big computer so now I am running windows xp and red hat 9 but still need a modem drive so searching the net here we go. *****Sober 73 days today***** God Bless and another 24 hours to you all


Member: Phil A
Location: Geordieland UK
Date: June 06, 2003
Time: 08:59 PM

Comments

((Suzu)) If ya really have a desire to stay of drugs then you'll do whatever ya have to do to stay off them. If your not sick enough of being sick then you'll most likely keep on doing what your doing and keep on getting what your getting. Four years ago when I came to AA I was in such a state I wanted to attend every meeting I could, turning up one night at an N/A meeting thinking it was AA before I got in, they let me stay all the same and I did and two years after that I met a guy who I'd seen in the N/A meetings in AA his first time round. He's both Clean and Sober now. Alcohol was my drug of choice thugh it could well have been anything that made escapism real and took away my fear of living life in the real world facing up to myself and my responsibilities both to myself and society. Ask yourself why you want or don't want to be free of drugs and what are the pro's and con's of your using, where have they taken ya in the past-where ya want to go in life and where ya don't want to go and finally ask yourself do ya want to end up in a mental institution or in a coffin. Then if ya find ya got a desire then get into action, if not keep on doing what your doing until your sick enough to want to do something about it and then do it providing by that time ya ain't in your grave of course.


Member: Judi
Location: NC
Date: June 06, 2003
Time: 09:20 PM

Comments

Hi all, Judi here. Been lurkin again. Having a VERY bad time. Heather if I could have gotten to the store last night I would have drank too. This "thing" is so scarey! It didn't matter that I could have lost my one year old daughter or husband or my life. I felt like I HAD to drink and nothing else mattered. I'm doing a 30 day at home before I go to a teatment center. I'm on day 11. I can't do this alone but don't think I can do it at all if I ha my car keys!! I had 14 years sober and really screwed up as I can't seem to get the strenght to fight this thing.


Member: Becka
Location: Arkansaws
Date: June 07, 2003
Time: 12:04 AM

Comments

Judi--Sweetheart your inspiring to read such honesty and I pray the most heartfelt of prayers of for you darlin. You do the same and try your hardest to trust in God that all will be well. Read Bill W.'s story in AA Comes of Age, it still gives me chill bumps even after all these years. He was just a few hours sober himself when it happened, so hey we all start sometime dear. Thanks for the sincerity and pray for Heather too, would ya honey??


Member: Becka
Location: Arkansaws
Date: June 07, 2003
Time: 12:05 AM

Comments

Judi--Sweetheart your inspiring to read such honesty and I pray the most heartfelt of prayers of for you darlin. You do the same and try your hardest to trust in God that all will be well. Read Bill W.'s story in AA Comes of Age, it still gives me chill bumps even after all these years. He was just a few hours sober himself when it happened, so hey we all start sometime dear. Thanks for the sincerity and pray for Heather too, would ya honey??


Member: Heather
Location: same
Date: June 07, 2003
Time: 01:45 AM

Comments

Hi folks. Thanks for sharing. It helped. Love ya.


Member: Stacy
Location: West Coast
Date: June 07, 2003
Time: 02:33 AM

Comments

Stacy, 61 days today. Very tough day. Allowed myself to get too angry and I had what I call "internal rage". Tried hard to do something different. First of all, I didn't drink. I really missed drinking while in my rage. I never thought that I would actually drink, but I was pissed that I couldn't. I had to put my kids in their rooms and then go and write in my journal to try and get the anger out so I could move on. I should have called my sponsor. I should have prayed. I didn't do either, but ultimately, once i calmed down, I called someone from the program and she gave me some good advice and support. I need so badly to learn how to deal with life on life's terms and to act like a grown up in the real world! It's so difficult for me today. I won't drink, I just don't know how to deal with all this stuff inside. I'll keep coming back and hopefully it will get better as I continue to work this program. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Troy C
Location: Maryland, USA
Date: June 07, 2003
Time: 09:05 AM

Comments

Howdy Everyone, I am thankful for life again today. It might be raining and nasty outside, but it could be worse.continuous bad weather depresses me. I cant go to work.Work keeps my mind out of the bottle. Suzu, my experience with all pain pills and any type of deppressants,was tough to deal with.I was in a car accident, and had to take 4 percocets and 3 tranquillizers every day for 5 months.I was messed up mentally and physically. all this was about 6 years ago.I was also drinking and doing coke with these pills. Stupid huh? The only way I could kick the drugs was to not drink. I could deal with things till I started to drink. My judgement would fall down the hill as soon as I had 3 or 4 drinks.Dumbness would set in.Also like you said, get rid of any pills you have and stay the hell away from the people you get them from. It may seem harsh, but you gotta' cut these people off you get drugs from. I've been using many different drugs and drinks since 1980. This is the first three months and 5 days,I have seen reality, and I will do anything to keep it.ANYTHING!! It is hard at first,but put sobriety first, the rest will fall in place. Pray for strength, if you mean it ,you will get it.Good luck! Bye all, Troy C


Member: Heather
Location: still here
Date: June 07, 2003
Time: 09:31 AM

Comments

You'll fall for anything. Are you THAT desparate?


Member: Christa M.
Location: Maryland
Date: June 07, 2003
Time: 09:53 AM

Comments

Hi everyone. Just reading over the posts from the last few days and there is an awful lot of pain there. I wish I could put my arms around all of you. I have just celebrated 14 years of sobriety, I am so grateful for that gift, and I am so sick of seeing people die when they relapse. One of my friends has 4 1/2 years clean, and he relapsed continously for 15 years, he is one of those people that no one thought would ever make it, we really thought he would die. He said what worked for him was to get a sponsor and then "get in his back pocket", go to meetings all the time, hang out with sober people all the time, call people all the time. Think of all the time, effort and determination you had when you were devoted to drinking/using and put some of that towards staying sober, it DOES work. So on the one hand, I know dozens of people with a lot of time who have really made a commitment to stay sober. On the other hand, I go to an average of 1 funeral each year where someone has died as a result of relapsing. Also, the Big Book says repeatedly that service work is the key, this can save even the worst relapser. When I get out of my head and help someone else, I forget about my own problems that seem insurmountable, plus I need to know that I have something to offer and that I am not the loser my head tells me I am. You are all in my prayers, keep coming back!


Member: Diane
Location: Oklahoma
Date: June 07, 2003
Time: 12:00 PM

Comments

(((Stacy))) congratulations on your 61 days sober and for getting through your rage episode. I understand how that goes with children. When I was trying to deal with a 15 year old's rage my rage came out ten times worse. Was very hard but like you! I made it through that hard time, I may have even been on your days at the time. (also had the flue) I'm now on 74 days sober and I have to say it is a lot easier when there is no stress so I know I have struggles on this side also, it's just been more secure lately and prayer helps a lot,,,,,,,,,((((Heather)))) SAME???? you still drinking? (((STOP))) NOW! don't look back at the bottle. Look forward to a goal of clean and sober... Thank you Christa M for your good advice maybe it will help some of us.... you know I often wondered how or when my Son would stop wanting drugs and what would be his low..... he went to Jail ( that did not seem too low cause he slipped again ) Now he is again doing good and working each day and staying away from his girlfriend who is pretty bad on drugs... in fact this is how they became friends was the drugs, so yes, we need to stay clear of all old contacts to stay sober or drug free. another 24 hours to you all...Diane from Oklahoma


Member: Rick F
Location: PA
Date: June 07, 2003
Time: 12:06 PM

Comments

This is a good topic. I just left rehab too days ago after 29 days there, which was my choice to stay and get everything I can. Was great in rehab, I was so confident when I left that I would not crave at all. But was I wrong, had craving within the first 3 hours after leaving and thankful it was on the way to a meeting. Today is a bad day for some reason. I went to another meeting last night, NA, actually with some friends and it seems to me that I only feel whole when I am around other addicts or alcoholics right now. Currently, I am at home, with other family members around, and not comfortable at all, making me want to drink. I need to get rid of the old idea that drinking is going to make me feel better because I no it brings nothing but problems to me as it has in the past. Sure I felt relaxed for a few hours, but then the binge starts and everything goes dowhill from there. Thanks for letting me share for the first time, and I actually feel better right now, which will help me until I get to a meeting tonight.


Member: Kathleen
Location: Rainy Florida
Date: June 07, 2003
Time: 12:37 PM

Comments

(((Diane))) ty.... I found that sweets in early sobriety did help with the cravings. For me it was hot fugge sundaes...orange juice and honey helps too. (((((Heather)))) just keep coming back. I know that it is hard for you to get to meetings. My jaw is kinda dropped open here at your post about the central office in your area not doing 12 step calls...did they offer to have someone call you???? I find it very sad and outrageous that a central office of AA would not help. Please hang in there... and please feel free to email me anytime, even if just for a sounding board.. hang in there... (((Stacey))) congrats on 61 days sober...WElcome ((((RD)))) and (((Everyone))) Letting go of old ideas is alot easier said than done. I have to keep a daily check on myself to be sure to not slip back into my old ways of thinking and doing. Amen to your share (((KimV)))) (((Everyone))) hope ya'll have an awesome weekend....work for me so will be playing catch up come monday ..... Kathleen


Member: D-flat
Location: Fargo
Date: June 07, 2003
Time: 12:49 PM

Comments

when i first started to go to meetings it was in a big clubhouse and there were meetings upstairs and downstairs, the one upstairs was a group called "action" and it was a group of young people and you could always hear them whooopin it up and havin a good ol time, but i would go downstairs with the old guys i just wasnt ready to be all excited about sobriety, it took me some time to find out that i would get freedom in my life as i worked the steps,so i did and found out that it really wasnt about my drinking or using but that it was about my thinking and about how self consumed i was, i needed freedom from people,places and things or they could kill me,and started to live life on lifes terms and learned about acceptance that im an alcohlic and the more i drank the worse it would get,,, so i would aggree with ((carl ))on this ,i needed somthing like a spiritual experiance to cure me, so the word ACTION is a major thing in my life, i could sit at home and pray alll day for god to help me but if i dont get out and do somthing,what will change?? also ive known people in sobriety that could recite the big book verbatum and still went out and drank, so hey ((bikerbabe)) i got my wife beater shirt on! hahahahaha you bust me babe!!Peace out sister


Member: Carlc
Location: NM
Date: June 07, 2003
Time: 04:51 PM

Comments

Kelly I will tell what is eating my shorts again because obviously you only read what you want. You are right I do get angry because its people like you who will look a newcomer right in the eye and LIE to him or her with all this fancy bullshit. This is serious business this is about life and death, and newcomers have a absolute right to know the truth. There are people dying every day of this illness and you want to sugar coat and lie to people, what is wrong with the truth?? And another thing AA and people like you did not get me sober what got me sober was when I took the steps the way they are outlined in the book. The program of AA got me sober not the fellowship of AA, for the new people there is a vast difference between the program and the fellowship. The fellowship will keep you sober for awhile but the program will save your life. Also miss sponsor I dont work the program I took the steps and now I try of live by its principles. As for Jerry Falwell I dont know what you can do with him, because I am not a christian, and I dont listen to people that make money pretending to be a messenger of the MOST HIGH. If you dont believe this is serious , read what DanB from Florida has to say. To DanB welcome back and May God Bless you.


Member: Heather
Location: Bill P
Date: June 07, 2003
Time: 05:59 PM

Comments

I've been corresponding w someone who thinks he may have a prob w alcohol and is interested in going to the Sunday 3:00 Madison Heights mtg. He doesn't know what to expect and it would help if someone could go with him. He's not comfortable posting his email here right now but will use me as a go-between. Please email me at leahhmc1@hotmail.com. I can then give you his email and/or phone. Please, his choices of meetings are limited and this Sunday one is important. If you can't, could you pass this to someone you trust and have them contact me? Thanks.


Member: Donna P
Location: Graceville, Fl
Date: June 07, 2003
Time: 07:03 PM

Comments

Donna, Alcoholic. Old ideas I had so many of them. One was that if I quit drinking I would never have any fun again. I did not realize how long it had been since drinking had been fun. I thought I was so smart I could work these steps & be well in no time. I could not even understand how to do a 4th step until my sponsor took me word by word & explained it to me. I have just celebrated my 13th birthday & I am still working these steps & not well. My life is so much better than it has ever been. Now my mind has cleared enough to realize how much booze had affected my mind. How very sick & insane I was when I got here. Old ideas I had so many. Lots from childhood. Where I was still telling myself I was stupid, would never be able to do things, etc etc. All the stuff I was told by my Dad 40 years ago. I had carried those around & was not even aware so not all old ideas are about drinking. But they will sure help you beat yourself up. What I have found out is no one is tougher or meaner to me than myself. I am learning to be nicer to me. Today I do have fun & so many friends. I hope that each of you can find what I have found in this program. Love Donna


Member: Diane
Location: Oklahoma
Date: June 07, 2003
Time: 08:23 PM

Comments

glad you posted (((Rick F)))I wish you all the sober luck, My Son also got out of rehab but he bought booze on his way Home cause he said he did not have a drinking problem but then he slipped or I think he slipped by all the signs but now again he seems to be doing good. I'm always interested in people who overcome drugs too cause my family is or was full of people that did drugs. My sister was bad on them and now may have hepatitis from sharing a needle so that is sad but drugs destroy our minds and our bodies as does alcohol but at a much higher degree, I wish the Goverment would put more money in to the Drug and alcohol problem and of course there is smoking that is very bad too. God Bless.....Diane from Oklahoma


Member: Mark G
Location: South Dakota
Date: June 07, 2003
Time: 11:10 PM

Comments

I've been sober since the 2nd. I never really tried before. I woke up Sunday morning (okay, afternoon) hungover from a decent amount the night before. I don't usually get hangovers. I realized I had slept with one of my friends I wouldn't normally be with sexually, and I couldn't move until about 6. I remember having a moment of clarity for the first time in my life, and even some serinity as I actually awaited my first AA meeting in sobriety. I have stayed sober for 6 months before, and 3 months after my 2 nights out, but didn't really want sobriety. After drinking for 10 months since then without anything tramatic happening I just decided I've had enough and I don't need it anymore. I was doing pretty good all week but now I just want to go; not drink, but just run and do something. It's just the general feeling of needing a night out. Something that really surprised me was that last night at work one of my drinking buddies showed up at work and I went driving with him to explain that I wanted to be sober. We went to his house to talk, where the party had actually shown up already. For the first time in my life I really felt bad about craving a beer. Luckily I was able to get out in 15 minutes. But after getting all of this crap off my mind last night, I was feeling like I had to go; not get drunk, but just run, have fun, and enjoy myself. Out of restless, irritable, and discontent, I would definitely pick restless. I don't feel irritable, but given a good reason, or very little reason at all, of course I probably would get a little irritable. And of course I'm discontent, being that I'm only one week sober. I just pray for when it gets better and take it 24 hours at a time. If anyone wants an online recovery friend, e-mail me at udontnomehaha@hotmail.com Good luck and God bless, Mark


Member: Carrie
Location: Los Angeles
Date: June 08, 2003
Time: 02:40 AM

Comments

Mark G, if you go to meetings everyday, you will start feeling better. I know if I miss a couple meetings, I start feeling restless, irritable and discontent. Pure fact for me. When i am doing the things i am supposed to be doing to stay sober, I am really happy. That means going to meetings, working the steps & talking with other alcoholics. I am happier than I have ever been in my life - obsession has been removed, I have been returned to sanity and am not run over by self will TODAY. Tomorrow maybe a different story if I dont do all the things I have just mentioned every single day.


Member: Gage
Location: La
Date: June 08, 2003
Time: 04:32 AM

Comments

I'm Gage and I'm an alcoholic, and I can attest to the fact that everything Carlc said about the disparity between the fellowship and the program is true, and the way he says it sucks. If he's really bothered about the lies and the bullshit he might go back into his own Big Book and read the part about growing in effectiveness, and decide for himself whether that includes getting up in peoples' faces and trying to cram down their throats what, by his own admission, took him 7 or 8 of his 15 years to latch onto, and if he blames the fact of that on other people being full of shit, he's wrong. It was his fault. I know it was his fault because I went to my first AA meeting when I was in my 20's, met a wonderful old guy who'd gotten sober around the time they invented dirt, who never told me to do anything that he didn't do himself, and who talked straight out of the Big Book to me, and I stayed dry three years, got drunk, and stayed drunk right on up to a little over two years ago. Because I wanted to. It was my fault. And I'm 50 years old now, or soon will be. I could have been sober most of my adult life and possibly have avoided untold amounts of suffering for myself as well as anyone else who was dumb enough to love me had I listened to that old guy, but I didn't. Because I didn't want to. The only bullshit that distracted me was my own. Besides, there always has been and probably always will be bullshit in AA, and we've always fought with, bickered with, and conjoled one another, and in spite of that, nobody's ever been able to seriously screw AA up. (And if you don't believe me, read AA Comes of Age.) Besides, it even says it in the Bible: "Wherever two or more of you are gathered, my brethren, there will be bullshit -- for drunks, that's wherever one and a half of you are gathered." No, it really doesn't say that. But something that really is said in the Bible is, "Though I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, have I not love, I am become the sounding of a gong or the tinkling of brass." It's from a letter Paul wrote to the Church in Corinth. In another part of the letter Paul describes the character of love, and it doesn't say love is angry as hell. And the Big Book says I am to attempt to grow in effectiveness. It might take me 7 or 8 years to even begin to do that. Kelly, you've been around a little under a year haven't you? Way to go, girl.


Member: Heather
Location: up all night
Date: June 08, 2003
Time: 05:54 AM

Comments

Gage, I loved that post. I was really mad when I came from the pot to here, and what you said about Paul just calmed me right down. I wouldn't have thought that was possible, given how utterly outraged I was. It's like it's just melting. I can still feel the adrenaline results in my body, but my mind is calming so fast it's incredible. Thanks.