Member: Diane
Location: Oklahoma
Remote Name: 69.8.10.149
Date: February 01, 2004
Time: 02:47 PM -0500

Comments

Diane here day 5 sober sorry about all the messed up writing of my last post I meant Oprah show not Opra show ........I'm feeling pretty good today...God Bless


Member: Jenny M.
Location: Washington
Remote Name: 63.191.224.108
Date: February 01, 2004
Time: 02:54 PM -0500

Comments

Hi Diane. Not so long ago I was 5 days sober and now I am over 6 months sober and feeling good myself. I have come off the pink cloud and living life on lifes terms. Life itself is a real struggle at times. Using the serenity prayer every time I have cravings or get frustated over things I have not control over or think I have no control over comes in very handy. I am very grateful for my sobriety!!


Member: Casey W.
Location: West Texas
Remote Name: 68.224.213.242
Date: February 01, 2004
Time: 06:35 PM -0500

Comments

Hi, Casey, alcoholic. I used to HATE the Serenity Prayer when I was a kid. My dad is a longtime A.A. member, my mom was kind of a recovery program addict, so we always had around the house all sorts of things with the Serenity Prayer on them. Refrigerator magnets, inspirational posters, coffee cups, etc. I just thought it was this hokey little prayer that meant absolutely nothing. But since I've started sobering up myself and have come to some understanding of a Higher Power, I realize just how smart the Serenity Prayer is. In some ways, the whole program is wrapped up in it. "Let go, Let God, but be ready to do what God expects you to do."


Member: jules h.
Location: Iowa
Remote Name: 207.177.18.164
Date: February 01, 2004
Time: 06:36 PM -0500

Comments

Jules here, alcoholic.....The Serenity Prayer is a good topic, because it pretty much covers all of life......Serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the things we're powerless over, have no control of, we can turn this stuff over to H.P. Courage to change the things we can, means we're not helpless, we no longer bury our heads in the sand and we take action (with spiritual guidance). I was always going off on my own and thinking my intentions were good,I would make decisions w/out running it by someone first,(sponsor program friend, clergy, therapist, maybe a close family member you trust,etc..) And the wisdom to know the difference, that's really where the program and trusting comes in, waiting, listening for messages, being open to suggestions and believing that whatever the circumstance,that GOD'S IN CHARGE. Have a good 24hrs. and don't drink! Love ya...............


Member: Gage
Location: swamp
Remote Name: 205.188.208.101
Date: February 02, 2004
Time: 01:20 AM -0500

Comments

Diane, I'm glad you are feeling good today. I'm Gage and I'm an alcoholic. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change..." One of the things that I can't change is the past. I can, however, accept that I have thought wrongly and acted wrongly toward others. I can willingly and honestly discern what has been the exact nature of these wrongs, and I can admit them before God and another human being. I can, then, make a list of all the people I've harmed and be willing to make amends to them all. I can make direct amends where it's possible, and where it's not, I can remain willing to should the time ever arise. And when the prospect of all of this becomes too overwhelming or frightening to me, I can pray and practice believing that God will help me find the "courage to change the things I can," by learning to exercise the simple principles that are embodied in the things I've just mentioned. Remember, the present will be the past very soon -- so, maybe, in that way, I am sort of changing the past. I don't believe God is mean. If he were, then, he'd want me to just accept that I have irreparably screwed up my life and just sit and stew in it. Fortunately, the God that I was introduced to by my fellows in AA grants me the wisdom to know the difference. The Serenity Prayer isn't about helplessness. It's about hope. It's about getting on with life. Peace to all.


Member: AZbill
Location: azbill1172@cox.net
Remote Name: 68.226.19.154
Date: February 02, 2004
Time: 01:44 AM -0500

Comments

HI. Bill here Alcoholic from Arizona. Over my recovery, I have changed myself and some others ways of thinking. Over my recovery, I have run up against brick walls and could not find the way around to change whatever. I once was on a team that developed a more accurate way to present a medical procedure. At a continuing education meeting a person approached me with, I read your article and I am using it. Not 10 minutes later I was approached by another who said, "I read your article and can't use it," Now a .500 batting average ain't bad in any ball game. What I am doing in the Serenity Prayer is asking the God of my understanding for the wisdom to be able to differentiate between what it is that I can change and what I need to let go of. Thanks a lot folks, Love ya, Bill


Member: Ann
Location: Ohio
Remote Name: 205.188.208.101
Date: February 02, 2004
Time: 05:10 AM -0500

Comments

Hi, Ann here, alcoholic, 4 months today and grateful for every single minute. It has been a great journey to this point. It seems it doesn't take that long to put everything back in place. At the beginning I never thought I would get there, but I am well on my way. The cravings are gone, the blurry memory is gone, the waking up the next morning and feeling bad about something I did is gone. But my responsibility for myself is still there. That is how I take the serenity prayer. I take responsibility for me, and I realize that things happen and to find a way around them, or if I can't, to just let them happen and go on. Taking responsibility for my own actions is a very strong part in my recovery. No one else can do that for me, and I'm doing o.k. at it :) Thanks to all of you and your great posts for keeping me grounded and sober. Love to all, and here's to another 24 for all of us!


Member: Mike H
Location: Jackson Michigan
Remote Name: 68.76.55.57
Date: February 02, 2004
Time: 07:49 AM -0500

Comments

I have often heard "Life is 10% what happens and 90% how we react to it" or something like that. By being sober and using good judgement ( and AA)I can usually handle things in my life. On rare occasions I do need all the help I can get, and sometimes must just "let go and let God". The Serenity prayer gives me the focus I need to sort it out and not make snap judgements or decisions like I used to do. I thank God everyday that I don't "run the show" anymore. Wishing everyone health and happiness. Mike H.


Member: jimr
Location: chicago
Remote Name: 69.3.216.21
Date: February 02, 2004
Time: 01:40 PM -0500

Comments

To me, the srenity prayer is not only a tool to be used in troubling times, repeating often at times torelax and wait for the right answers; but I use it when there seems to be no troubling clouds on the horizon to remind to test myself if I'm still doing God's will or my own. If I rely on my will/self knowledge, especially when Life is going well, I tend to forget that my former will/self-knowledge/wisdom got me in trouble in the first place. Peace and Love to you all


Member: katd
Location: so cal
Remote Name: 67.117.217.4
Date: February 02, 2004
Time: 04:28 PM -0500

Comments

Hi - Kathy Alcoholic here, thanks very much <<<JIMR and KELLY>>> your postings were VERY helpful. I really need to just do one thing at a time. I am too overwhelmed if I look at the rest of my life free of alcohol, food obsession, and depression free. So today I will call my sponsor, go to a meeting and work on getting medical help. 3 baby steps. I have been owrking on praying more. Really putting my faith in the power of GOd to help me as I know I can not help me of my own volition. THat is helping. This weekend I saw my Dad and there is booze in the house. Everyone was outside and I thought it was a great time to sneak a drink. THen I stopped and prayed to GOd admitting that I do not have the power to debate whether to take a drink or not. If I debate it I will loose. If I let GOd handle the debate, I wont drink. And I didnt. I am grateful to you all. I feel like this is the only place where I can say whatever I need to say and it will be ok. Even if I disgust you or annoy you, you are stuck with me and howyou react is not my issue. At F2F meetings I tend to be a people pleaser so keep my mouth shut for fear of looking dumb or soemthing. THis site feel safe and open. I hope everyoen is having a decent week. I hope the people with a few days will keep coming back here wether sober or not. love and hugs...kathy


Member: jimr
Location: chicago
Remote Name: 69.3.216.21
Date: February 03, 2004
Time: 12:49 AM -0500

Comments

Katd, Your prayers are working. Your honesty fuels your need to pray. Though Prayer and meditation, God gives you the courage to walk into a room of strangers and admit defeat and to ask for help. People will respond in meetings like they respond here. It's all about repetition, thats why they say keep coming back. If you feel ill at ease with sharing at a meetings, when it comes your turn to share, tell them in a few words what specifically is confusing you and ask the group for advise about that issue. I found that helped me and still does. Don't worry about seeming stupid or not contributing the way others do. Some people express themselves well, others have a hard time expressing themselves, the key is to share what you can. Asking for advise is sharing too. Once you pick up the ideas and concepts and continue to apply them to your life, you'll be amazed before your half way through. Keep coming back (repetition) Surrender will give you some peace. It is like free falling. In your meditation before prayer, find some quiet time early in the morning and visualize your self jumping out of an airplane, back first, on beautiful summers day. All you see is blue sky above. Feel the freedom of air rushing around you, flapping your jump suit like a flag in high winds. You don't have to worry, God is your parachute. Enjoy the ride. Pull the string when you're ready. I surrender every day.


Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Remote Name: 65.102.43.100
Date: February 03, 2004
Time: 09:40 AM -0500

Comments

Early in sobriety, the serenity prayer was something I COULD do. I memorized it and felt like I was becoming a part of AA, when I could repeat it with everyone else at a meeting. It seemed so simple, that I had some level of understanding of it from the get go. As the days and years go by as with everything else, my appreciation for it's real depth grows. If you are new please don't think so much, just do simple things like the serenity prayer. The payoff is astonishing.


Member: Stephen S
Location: VA
Remote Name: 155.104.239.16
Date: February 03, 2004
Time: 11:55 AM -0500

Comments

Stephen, alcoholic, thanks for sharing everyone Acceptance is the biggest part of my sobriety. My sponsor said the answers are in the big book so this is what I found out. To have acceptance I need serenity. To have serenity I need my higher power. It says is the Big Book on page 46 I think, that all you have to do to find God is to seek Him. At the end of that chapter it says, as you draw closer to God, He will disclose himself to you. Prayer proceeds faith. Keep praying and good luck.


Member: Trace
Location: England
Remote Name: 62.255.64.7
Date: February 03, 2004
Time: 12:07 PM -0500

Comments

I had always had trouble using the serenity prayer...I would say it many times but not have any faith in it....until my sponser said told me how she says it....the last line she inserts the word CONSIOUSNESS of wisdom.....wow that was powerful for me and since then I have found I now have a better understanding of the prayer. Trace x


Member: Adam H.
Location: New York, NY
Remote Name: 64.232.156.194
Date: February 03, 2004
Time: 03:07 PM -0500

Comments

Adam, alcoholic. I've shared this before (on this page too, I think) but "Courage to change the things I can..." is, for me, the most important part of the Serenity Prayer for me. To take some responsibility and action in sobriety, to continue to look at my part in my own life and make amends where necessary, to reach out my hand to another person and offer help knowing that they might not want it, to trust that my life is in the care of a Higher Power who loves me, good and bad... that stuff requires a lot of courage for me. In this prayer I get to ask for the courage to do it, and having asked, I can practice real faith which is walking through what scares me, gaining experience, strength and hope along the way. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: katd
Location: so cal
Remote Name: 67.117.217.73
Date: February 03, 2004
Time: 04:13 PM -0500

Comments

hi again, kathy - alcoholic. >>>> JIMR I guess repitiion is someting I can do. When I first gor sober in SF many years ago I actually had frineds in LA and shared and all. I had forgottwn all the success I had had behind the relapse I just had. I need to work on the mediation piece of the work. Still not sure what it is besides quiet time to let GOds voice be heard not mine. I need to establish a way to create that space in y mind and the time for it daily. THank you !!! <<<<< It seems the SP is a simple way for us AAers to get prayer established into our lives. A short and poerful prayer. I need to use it not just say it more. I hope the other newcomers out there are doing ok. YOu really can say whatever you need to on this site. It has been good practice for me to share what I really need to share since I am too chicken (so far) to do that at a meeting. Take care and lets not pick up for today. kathy


Member: katd
Location: so cal
Remote Name: 67.117.217.73
Date: February 03, 2004
Time: 04:13 PM -0500

Comments

OOOPPPPSSS I meant AA not LA - sorry!


Member: Ed
Location: VA
Remote Name: 68.100.37.88
Date: February 03, 2004
Time: 08:20 PM -0500

Comments

Hi all. Ed, an alcoholic now past the 2 week mark. I had tried AA for several weeks, regular meetings, last Spring. Quit and resumed drinking. Now I'm trying to get back into the meetings I had gone to then but am having trouble actually getting there. Presume I'm reluctant to go back to the same groups and admit failure -- though that would come as no surprise to them. Have been to a couple speakers meetings where I knew I wouldn't be called upon to say anything. So in a way the serenity prayer works for this circumstance, I guess. I can't change the past several months, so I may as well accept it. I can change the present by going to meetings, so that's what I ought to do. Don't know why I'm telling you this other than it's been bothering me. Plus, I wanted to let you know that I'm still here and sober. Ed


Member: Les
Location: San Diego
Remote Name: 198.81.26.74
Date: February 03, 2004
Time: 08:21 PM -0500

Comments

The Serenity Prayer Original, unabridged version God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other. Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time, Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, Taking, as Jesus did, This sinful world as it is, Not as I would have it, Trusting that You will make all things right, If I surrender to Your will, So that I may be reasonably happy in this life, And supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen. -Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971) Please, God, I know that I am a damaged individual and that I need all the help it is Your great good pleasure to give me in order that I may live happy, joyous, and free in service to Your will. If we say the Serenity Prayer on a daily basis with as much resolve and belief as we can muster those things we pray for will come to us. Prayers of this type -- asking for help in knowing and doing God's will -- can be compared to weight lifting. If we lift weights on a regular basis the muscles exercised will gain strength whether or not we believe anything will happen. So to with prayer, if we say the prayer it will work regardless of what we believe


Member: mary allen
Location: austin, mn
Remote Name: 216.161.97.13
Date: February 03, 2004
Time: 09:42 PM -0500

Comments

I'm an alcoholic, My name is Mary. the serenity prayer . . . at first it was something that I could say at a meeting and feel like I belonged. I just omitted the "God" part. I worked on accepting somethings and changing others. After some time I realized that my Higher Power had better knowledge of what needed accepting and what needed changing. I also used it in a repetative way when I need to calm down. (Sometimes I used the short version.) It has allowed me to be able to pray to my higher power in a close personal way. I practiced at drinking for a long time so I figure I need to practice at praying for a long time. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Remote Name: 64.222.182.231
Date: February 03, 2004
Time: 10:44 PM -0500

Comments

Hi ((Everybody)), Nice to see everyone new and coming back and posting! ((Diane)), I missed Oprah, was it on recovery? Congrats on 7 days!!! ((Casey W))Had to laugh because I used to cringe when I saw the serenity prayer... that was for alcoholics! My daughter brought home a serenity prayer plaque for me from a yard sale once when my drinking was getting bad. It made me think that maybe my daughter knew I was an alcoholic? I hid the plaque for years but now it is proudly displayed. Lot's of good posts about using the prayer and I now love it and use it almost daily. ((Ann)) great on 4 months, you sound really good! ((Ed)) I'm proud of you, 2 weeks now (and) going to meetings! When your feeling more secure in your sobriety you will no longer be afraid to go to ANY meeting...cause you earned it! The winners are the people that keep going back. We all know where the losers end up! I like this saying, "Why are we more afraid of saving face then we are saving our ass"? Hmmm. (KatD) I'm so happy you are doing the babysteps! Thats the way to go and keep doing it! I liked what you said about letting God handle the debate! Prayer quiets the committee in our heads. Simple prayers I like are, "Let go and let God", "Thy will be done, not mine", "God, take all of me the good and the bad and show me the way",. During the moment of silence in meetings I say to myself, "Thank you God for keeping me away from a drink, just for today". These simple prayers are handing over your will and as Jim said with repetition you will see results and feel them inside you as peace. As for being a people pleaser in AA or being afraid to speak.... that is fine. That too shall pass as you get more comfortable so just listen and learn for now. Your doing great and I'm proud of you... :) Kelly


Member: Sherron S
Location: Alaska
Remote Name: 209.165.161.128
Date: February 03, 2004
Time: 11:11 PM -0500

Comments

Hi Everyone! Sherron, alcoholic. I really like the part in this prayer, "to accept the things I can not change, and to change the things I can." I think this is very important to recovery. I've been 4 months sober now and thank God everyday that I am alive today and sober. Thanx.


Member: jimr
Location: chicago
Remote Name: 68.164.227.82
Date: February 04, 2004
Time: 01:18 AM -0500

Comments

Ed, i'm happy see you're still here. Congrats on two weeks. i've been where you are now. Feelings of guilt and remorse are a bitch to get past. i HAD TO get past those feelings in order to completely Surrender. i NEEDED TO go back to those meetings and face my fellow alcoholics. i approached the work from a different angle. i WANTED TO help myself regardless of what people thought. First and foremost i did it for me. i have found worrying about what others thought of me was/is a waste of time and energy period. Most of the time we're completely wrong about what others really think anyway. i got news for you, not everyone in AA is well. Some are sicker than others, especially in recovery. Don't fall into being judgemental either, just pray for acceptance of that. i can't compare my insides with other's outsides. Thinking that way is part of my spiritual malady (my relationship with God, myself, and my world) DISEASE OF Body:physical allergy that induces craving. MIND: mental obsession over the first drink. SOUL Spiritual Malady (we are in disharmony with God, ourselves and the world around us) Once the connection to the power was established (SPIRITUALITY:getting back into harmony with our creator) the mind and body get better through the work. Once i tapped into God's IMMENSE power, the human power people had over me (what they thought or how they/I affected my world) weakened and didn't weigh on me like it did before.(steps 4 through 9) The more contact (harmony) i seek from the power, through prayer and meditation and doing the work (steps), the quicker my mind and body healed. Daily contact with God... guides us, provides us, protects us "It's the proper use of will power." page 85 Willingness is that tiny seed of growth, growth of the true spirit in all of us. i still get goosebumps when i think about how i feel today compared to how i felt when i started to become willing to believe and willing to the work. it changed my life far beyond anything i ever imagined. Positive things happen when we start thinking positively. There's alot to be said about "Fake it until you make it" only if you don't go through the motions. It's impossible not to change if you are willing to change. "Courage to change the things WE can" Go to meetings, read the big book, do the work. Practice Loving your God through prayer and meditation, yourself, your family and others. Have to, need to, want to, love to. Willingess, it's a start. In the word spirituality lies the word ritual: repeating something over and over again... Could be mantra, could be prayer and meditation (serenity prayer), could be playing solitaire. KatD, you have one thing to share in all meetings that many people forget... willingness to change.


Member: toddc
Location: Indianapolis
Remote Name: 65.26.180.227
Date: February 04, 2004
Time: 06:19 AM -0500

Comments

I gave up drinking little over 3 months ago and with the exception of ONE day, have managed to avoid alcohol. I rely on the serenity prayer for just that, the sense of calm and serenity I feel from the words in it. I realize that I can't control a lot of things happening around me, but things like not drinking are up to me to do. The level of stress and pressure from work, family, etc. has dramaticly decreased by thinking and acting along the lines of what is said in the serenity prayer. Once I accept that I can't change something , the stress factor over that situation becomes very low, thus eliminating a definite trigger to the urges of having a drink. thanks for letting me share, and good luck to everyone during the next 24 hours. ODAT.


Member: dave mc
Location: canada
Remote Name: 129.100.110.242
Date: February 04, 2004
Time: 12:25 PM -0500

Comments

Hi, I'm at work, just got an email from my ex spouse. She and her new man are going away tomorrow. My kids are going to her Moms. I was not asked to take them. I would and could have. The email was so impersonal, I don't mind that about her going away but it bothers me so much about the kids. I love them very much. I am so angry and so hurt. I have been saying the serenity prayer.


Member: Kris J
Location: Atlanta
Remote Name: 136.2.1.101
Date: February 04, 2004
Time: 12:27 PM -0500

Comments

Hi Kris J (alcoholic) from Atlanta and new member. 65 days today. I find the Serenity Prayer a tremendous help when I start feeling overwhelmed or out of focus. It's like taking deep breaths to repeat it over and over. It brings my thinking back into alignment; especially remembering to think only about today or that particular moment and that whatever it is probably isn't a life or death situation and completely out of my control. There is a sense of calm I get from just hearing the words.


Member: Ed
Location: VA
Remote Name: 68.100.37.88
Date: February 04, 2004
Time: 03:10 PM -0500

Comments

JimR - Thanks. You have a knack for cutting to the heart of a matter. As a result of your encouragement and examples, I'm making it a habit to read daily from the Big Book. Had in fact underscored that passage on proper use of the will, which I think you said was on page 85. I always look forward to reading your posts. Ed


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Remote Name: 64.222.182.231
Date: February 04, 2004
Time: 03:31 PM -0500

Comments

((Jimr)), I love and have adopted your saying,..."have to, need to, want to, love to". I think it was passed to you from your sponsor? Anyway, just want to give credit where credit is due! If you get a chance could you tell that story again? Hugs, Kelly :)


Member: katd
Location: so cal
Remote Name: 66.123.252.28
Date: February 04, 2004
Time: 04:26 PM -0500

Comments

Kathy alcoholic here, OK thanks JimR, I do want to change!! DAVE MC >>> I feel your pain over the kids and not getting them while the x is gone. I have been in a custody battle for a couple years now and everything around that issue is more painful than anything I ever dealt with in my life, including the death of a sibling. Our children have such a special place in their parents hearts. I would probably talk to your wife and get an agreement for you to have the kids when she is gone, barring some other pre-existing court order. If you are sober and safe then you, as their Dad, should be the responsible one. But this is not AA talk so I will stop now>>> I was feeling overwhelemed with stuff on my plate but was able to pray and really ask for GOds help. For Him to direct me. Most of the stuff I have no control over anyway. I just have to show up for it. So I can work on showing up serene and not creating havoc in my brain pending the time for me to showup. If that makes sense. I kinds feel like I am jsut going through the motions but the prayer did give me relief. It does seem to really help!! Thanks to all for your words here and support in prayer, Kathy


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Remote Name: 64.222.182.231
Date: February 04, 2004
Time: 05:55 PM -0500

Comments

Hi Again, ((DaveMc)), Just gotta give you something to hang on to. First off congrats for sharing what is bothering you...from work even! I think you may have a bad case of the, "she shoulda, woulda, coulda, given me the kids". The reality is that she did not for whatever reasons. Can you change it? Yes or no? Is it worth drinking over? yes or no? Will picking up a drink change the situation? Yes or no? What can you do to feel better about this situation? You just did it by coming here and sharing/ asking for help! WTG MAN!!! If your at work you can't get to a meeting which would be the next right thing but what about (turning it around)? Can you call your kids at Grams and tell them you love them? Can you stop by with goodies for a short visit? If you can't see or talk to them can you send them a cool surprise in the mail? The possibilities to turn this around are only as big as your imagination! Now do the next right thing and stay sober because believe it or not it is the greatest gift you can give them. Let us know how it goes! ((KatD)), Keep praying and posting because when the (Promises)BB pg.83-84, start happening I want to hear all about it. Fake it till ya make it! Kelly :)


Member: Kim M.
Location: FL
Remote Name: 66.245.72.229
Date: February 05, 2004
Time: 10:11 AM -0500

Comments

"Using the Serenity Prayer" HMMM.... God grant me the Serenity to Accept the things I can not Change, Courage to Change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference. Every day, maybe 20 times a day, especially when I get in my way. This prayer has always helped me with patience, tolerance, my ego, sharing, and stressful circumstances like waiting on a bus or a ride to get from one destination to another or standing in a short line at the store where price checks have to be made on a few items. It helps me with my road rage, when my 2.5 year old reminds me: patience Mom patience or Serenity Mom. I pray it all the time and will continue to do so, for it works for this alcoholic.


Member: Jim
Location: Elgin, Illinois
Remote Name: 64.109.136.4
Date: February 05, 2004
Time: 02:01 PM -0500

Comments

dave mc, It was pointed out to me when my world was crumbling around me because of my drinking (when I was 6 months sober) that "my trouble was of my own making." It took awhile to understand that. I had to go meetings, read the "Big Book", ask smoeone to sponsor me, and then had to adopt a "program of action" through working the steps. Once I did the work, I understood myself better and finally realized that I played a huge part in My wife's affair while I was drinking. Now I didn't lose my children and I can't tell you how that feels, but I can say this. You may have to cut yourself off from them right now so you can get a better foothold on your sobriety. You will not be able to be there for them in the future if you don't change now. You can't change unless you do the work. There is a passage in the chapter called "working with others" in Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous). The passage is on page 98. In it it reminded me of me when I first came around. "He clamors for this or that, claiming he cannot master alcohol until his material needs are cared for. Nonsense. Some of us have taken very hard knocks to learn this truth: Job or no job -- wife or no wife -- we simply do not stop drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people ahead of dependence on God. Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house. Dave, The cleaning house part is in the steps. I wish you luck.


Member: Joe P
Location: Chicago
Remote Name: 67.73.139.68
Date: February 05, 2004
Time: 03:57 PM -0500

Comments

My name is Joe, and I am an alcoholic. While I do love the Serenity Prayer, it is not my most frequently used prayer. My most frequently used prayer is even shorter and simpler. ==== God, please don't let me think this way. ==== It comes in handy for all kinds of thoughts, from a thought about drinking to a thought about saying an unkind word. I utilize the Serenity Prayer as a means to fortify the decision of the Third Step when facing difficulties staying on track, usually adding to the end, as it is in the 12 & 12, "Thy will, not mine, be done". Don't drink, go to meetings, get a sponsor, read the Big Book, and work the 12 Steps. Joe - joep041699@mindspring.com


Member: Miranda
Location: Vermont, USA
Remote Name: 198.115.160.172
Date: February 05, 2004
Time: 05:51 PM -0500

Comments

At first I used the Serenity Prayer in a VERY short form, "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.." that's all I used and I used it a lot. My temper was a lot shorter then and many things made me angry, things that I couldn't change like other people, the weather- you name it, it ticked me off. It took me a while to start using the rest of it, "the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference" The wisdom to know the difference is of course the tricky part. Saying the Serenity Prayer gives me a little time out, like counting to 10 before you speak or letting a post sit for a while before you hit the Share button. Just saying it calms me down if I need calming. It's like a big deep breath of clear air.


Member: Ruby B
Location: In the mountains
Remote Name: 67.51.231.185
Date: February 05, 2004
Time: 08:18 PM -0500

Comments

Hi everyone my name is ruby both an alkie and a druggie, 10 years ago i entered a rehb and after 30 days o f inhouse therapy headed into the real world sure that i would never touch a drop of drink or drug again. that lasted for about three years and then i allowed this cunning disease to weasel it's way back nto my life. I took my first drink with all the confidence in the world that i could have just one. Now 7 years later i am now on day 4 of being clean and sober. the tremors and night sweats are almost gone but the shaking is almost uncontrolable. (typing isn't easy) i took in my first two meeting tonight and thank God passed three bars on the way home. I must have said the serenity prayer a million times today. I have a firm belief in God but my faith is shaky. thank all of you who are out there sharing and i appreciate reading your posts they truly help. at two or three in the am they are like my new best friends. bye ruby


Member: Grateful to be sober
Location: Michigan
Remote Name: 216.86.80.12
Date: February 05, 2004
Time: 09:21 PM -0500

Comments

Ruby, welcome back! You have been here once before so you know the wonders that await you as time passes in the program and the drug haze fades. I too relapsed in the past, certain I was different and could drink normally after a period of sobriety. My fall was hard and the climb back slow and painful. Nothing worthwhile is ever easy and change is always hard. Use the Serenity Prayer over and over until thoughts of using pass. It worked for me! Love you, hang in there!


Member: Ed
Location: VA
Remote Name: 68.100.37.88
Date: February 05, 2004
Time: 09:40 PM -0500

Comments

Made it thru day 17, but just barely. Managed to get my thinking all screwed up reading the coffee pot and realizing that most of those people -- presumably working the steps and with several years of sobriety -- are still self-centered alcoholics (but sober). Presume that in reality, I'm just looking for an excuse to drink and will grab at anything. All evening I've been thinking that probably tomorrow I would stop and buy a bottle. Would probably have drank today if there had been any in the house. But I'm not kidding myself that I can drink normally. I know that won't happen. So just before coming here to post this, it occured to me that all that was stopping me from drinking today or hopefully tomorrow was that I didn't want to start over on day 1. That was one of those light bulb moments. I realized I had just said to myself that I would probably get drunk and then start trying to get sober again. That, I realized, is lunatic thinking. If I'm going to try getting sober again, why not just stay that way now. I'm not out of the woods yet, but I'm feeling better about tomorrow than before. Here's to another sober 24. Ed


Member: jimr
Location: chicago
Remote Name: 68.164.2.98
Date: February 06, 2004
Time: 01:16 AM -0500

Comments

Ed, Let me tell you something about the coffee pot & F2F meetings in general. Most of the people there want to get better. Some are sicker than others and have much difficulty. It's evident everywhere in this program. Your eyes are keen, my friend. There are some good people on the Pot and then we have the scroll bar. Your recovery in AA will depend on you and your faith in your God/Higher Power. Even if you are just willing to believe right now. it's a start. That relationship with your god will depend on who you hang with in AA. If you chose a group who is grounded in the Sirituality of the Big Book and they help newcomers through the work, you chances of recovery are better than average. If you hang with the slackers and judgers who can be fairly convincing and who probably aren't real alcoholics anyway, your program will mirror their results and it will just be a matter of time before you're working on day 1 again. Quantity Sobriety never beats quality sobriety. Some have both. Here are some hard facts. A very small percentage recover for more then 5 years in AA. But an even smaller average makes it on their own. Those who do recover gain more than they expected. If you stick around long enough and really do the work, you will do fine. You will witness a constant parade of people coming in and out of the rooms that relaspe because they didn't work the steps. Some of them come back and succeed because they eventually do the work. i know this to be true because i was one them. I had to get beat-up more and more in order to really convince myself that I was powerless. It was only then that i finally did the work. It's all about Higher Power and action that sustains us, giving us a daily reprieve from the ism (I,myself & me) based on spiritual fitness. I conquered alcohol, and the mental and spiritual disease, but i have to keep spiritually fit so I won't have to conquer Jim again. Sort of like a soldier training in peacetime or a fireman training for that big fire that rarely happens. It's a regimend i highly recomend, because we are given a gift that is far more precious than merely learning how to abstain from alcohol. We're given a design for living. A Gift from god passed on to us by our founders of AA. You and others on this site are doing great! I remember those close encounters with the thought of the first drink. I haven't had that thought for some time now. It's been lifted from me. It'll get better only if you practice what is suggested, sometimes strongly suggested to you by people practicing what they preach. You will know who they are, they are the guys/gals that make daily mistakes but don't struggle cause they have a plan. Their God's plan.


Member: stanly
Location: mi
Remote Name: 12.73.153.13
Date: February 06, 2004
Time: 01:45 AM -0500

Comments

WOW, alcohol has decimated my (once promising) life


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Remote Name: 64.222.182.231
Date: February 06, 2004
Time: 08:25 AM -0500

Comments

Hi ((All)), Hey ((stanly))... great to see you back here! Can you elaborate a bit? ((Ed)), I am so glad you didn't pick up even though you had a bad day. How about getting to a f2f/ discussion meeting and sharing? I guarantee you it will make you feel better then picking back up. You have over two weeks now too! I went to see my temp sponsee get her 30 day chip last night and she was {beaming}. She said she could not believe she made 30 days and I told her to keep coming it gets better. As for the coffeepot that is just a (meeting after the meeting) room. I still call it a "slice and dice" interdispersed with some real pearls of wisdom. I take what I need and leave the rest there. I did not post on the CP till after a year because my serenity was not strong enough to deal with some of the stuff that goes on there. Here is to a sober 24 for everyone and I'll take one for myself! Kelly :)


Member: Ruby B
Location: In the mountains
Remote Name: 67.51.231.185
Date: February 06, 2004
Time: 10:49 AM -0500

Comments

hi all ruby here, still sober (day5) woke up throwing up my cookies and with a nasty case of the shakes. but at least i slept a few hours. i truly forgot how much fun withdrawls can be LOL... anyhow i just got over a crying screaming fit. I can't believe that i allowed myself to get this far in the hole again. i thought i could control my drinking this time, how could i have beeen such a fool. when brian (husband) left in sepptember i thought he was being unreasonable. but when the kids told me they wanted to go with him i was devastated, angry and hurt and overwhelming quilt. all the emotions that the little brown bottle thrives on. just one more beer or shot that will help. well guess what it didn't. two weeks ago my best friend died unexpectedly (non-alcohol related) and boy did i dive into the bottle then. there didn't seem to be a reason to quit. last sunday i ended up in the er with a gastric bleed. after having a tube shoved down my nose and a cauterization of the ulcer done the doctor asked me if i had had enough yet. to be honest i said no.. i really didn't care if i bled to death right then. my husband brought my kids to see me and my 11 year old son told me "all you need to do is believe you can quit mom, God will do the rest" out of the mouths of babes right!!! So here i am, shaking and crying and feeling like shit but sober! for today (or maybe for this minute) i believe i can stay sober. God willing he'll do the rest. stay sober and give yourselves a hug from me ruby


Member: Betsy
Location: Washington
Remote Name: 67.168.35.179
Date: February 06, 2004
Time: 11:06 AM -0500

Comments

Right back at ya Ruby! Good news of course is that you won't have to feel this way again. This business of sobering up is painful but there were days for me when just the thought of repeating that process was all that kept me from a drink. Hang in there. Stanly, still promises in your life. Get yourself to some face to face meetings, find a sponsor and a home group where you feel comfortable. Once you begin working the steps of the program you will begin to understand the promises coming.. Hugs, Betsy


Member: KellyM
Location: WA
Remote Name: 67.31.176.180
Date: February 06, 2004
Time: 12:53 PM -0500

Comments

I live and die by the Serenity Prayer, it keeps me sober!


Member: Gage
Location: swamp
Remote Name: 205.188.208.101
Date: February 06, 2004
Time: 02:46 PM -0500

Comments

Ruby, I love you.


Member: Ruby B
Location: In the mountains
Remote Name: 67.51.231.185
Date: February 06, 2004
Time: 03:17 PM -0500

Comments

thanks alot Gage and Betsy your are a gift that i have always needed. still sober still feeling like crap. you all are my life line right now hugs to all


Member: katd
Location: so cal
Remote Name: 67.117.217.95
Date: February 06, 2004
Time: 04:37 PM -0500

Comments

kathy alcoholic here, great shares here, they are really helping. THe honesty and the pain and the insights from you all is a life line to me too! I have been complaining that the urge to drink was not abating, well I am here to say that is does mellow out a bit with time. At almost 2 months I actually have had a few nights where the battle did not occur. I was at peace not drinking. Thank you Higher Power! Just when I thought I was going to drink, another miracle happens to save my butt. Like Ed said, part of the not drinking is just cuz I dont want to start over again, I had never put 2 and 2 together the way Ed did and that was a huge light bulb going on for me - <<THANKS ED! >> It is pure insanity that thinking. The meetings I have been going to make you raise your hand for the first 90 days, boy is that humbling and tiresome. But ya know what? It is helping me. Reminding me I am still that close to a drink. ANd the long hard road back if I pick up. (You have to stand up and say your name in front of like 50 people, if you are new, sucks big time, cant imagine doing that for yet another 90 days!) I will keep Ruby and Matt and Ed and YOU ALL in my prayers and please pray for me to if you think of it.


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Remote Name: 64.222.178.39
Date: February 06, 2004
Time: 05:48 PM -0500

Comments

Hi ((Everyone)), Just thought I'd mention that on the (discussion board) there are some great posts on having a spiritual awakening. That is in the Promises, and if you stay sober and work the steps you can have it yourself! It is a real gift of AA and something to look forward to! Wishing you all peace, Kelly :)


Member: Ruby B
Location: In the mountains
Remote Name: 67.51.231.185
Date: February 06, 2004
Time: 05:49 PM -0500

Comments

hi all, well it is friday night. the first of what i hope to be many sober friday nights. but honestly i'm scared to death. dug out my big book and will probably have it read cover to cover by am. i'm spending alot of time pacing unable to sit still. been trying to consume a little food but rejected. maybe tommarow. went out and shoveled some snow and actually dropped in it and made a snow angel. funny what you do to put a smile on your face LOL. i know i have said this before but i can not overstate it tonight and for the foreseeable future you all are my angels. thanks for talking to me i feel like i've known some of you for years. i guess no matter where drink has taken each of us somehow the road always leds back here and we are the lucky ones who have found it. not all are so lucky. i guess i need to accept the fact the i really have no control over who i am without drink anymore than i was in control of who i was with it. i realize the slate can be wiped clean and that god forgives but i wonder if i can. forgive myself that is. well i will stay sober for another minute and then another until god does what he will with me. all i know is for me i'm scared as hell as to what that might be. love to all my new found friends. you are true gifts. stay sober and i will pray for each of you it will help me to remember god does work wonders ruby


Member: Ed
Location: VA
Remote Name: 68.100.37.88
Date: February 06, 2004
Time: 10:12 PM -0500

Comments

Wasn't sure when I posted yesterday that I was doing the right thing. Just knew I needed to do it and hope it came out okay. Today, my thinking has been much better and getting thru day 18 was not difficult. Thanks, JimR, you are a life preserver for me. The spiritual dimension of AA is what is attracting me. And it's what seemed absent from the coffee pot and from many of the f2f meetings I've attended. You, however, have made it the centerpiece, much as Bill W did in the Big Book. I'll look for those who are practising what they preach. Thanks also to Kelly and KatD. Your comments give me encouragement, which I badly need. Keep on postin, we all need each other. And Ruby. You've had a tough time, but hang in there. Think you already see that it's getting better. I mean, really, a snow angel? That's great! If you want some additional, and fun, reading check out http://www.barefootsworld.net/bftwrite.html Ed


Member: Sherron S
Location: Alaska
Remote Name: 209.165.161.128
Date: February 06, 2004
Time: 10:42 PM -0500

Comments

Hi everyone, Sherron-alcoholic. I just want to say I feel for you Ruby and my prayers go out to you.


Member: jimr
Location: chicago
Remote Name: 68.164.6.13
Date: February 06, 2004
Time: 11:23 PM -0500

Comments

to Ed and all Its truley my pleasure to be helpful and pass on what others in this program passed on to me. We're in the same life raft


Member: Grateful to be sober
Location: Michigan
Remote Name: 216.86.80.12
Date: February 07, 2004
Time: 08:46 AM -0500

Comments

(Ruby) & (Ed) Keep hanging on to those here, at meetings and onto God. It will get better! Those of us who have made it through this before you are here to tell you it's worth it! We offer our experience, strength and hope to help you along the way and pray for your recovery. You are not alone, we are all in your corner. Love to all.


Member: Ruby B
Location: In the mountains
Remote Name: 67.51.231.185
Date: February 07, 2004
Time: 09:55 AM -0500

Comments

hi all thanks so much for your encouragement. made it through a friday night without the bottle- now there's a new one.... woke up and actually toke on some food and it stayed. see the kids today that's scary. look and feel like crap but i've been told they've seen me look worse. i feel emotionally a bit better today though. just don't know if i can handle the quilt feelings that are creeping in. I know little steps right. Admit my faults but don't let them consume me. will go to a meeting shortly after their visit. should help. sorry about being selfish with thoughts of me. but i am praying for each and every one of you and thanking God for bringing you into my life. love to all and stay sober. by the day or by the minute anyway we can get it right!!!!! happy day


Member: Sheri
Location: wyoming
Remote Name: 209.193.78.203
Date: February 07, 2004
Time: 12:55 PM -0500

Comments

Hello all Sheri alki-addict I have 48 days clean and sober!!!, I use the prayer every day but have found for me that I must have acceptance which can be hard at times I pray daily also for his will not mine, again I have to accept what that may be today, if I donít drink and donít put the needle in my arm then I have given in to his will. I have to ask him to help me think today but with the Serenity prayer he can ODAAT Thanks for letting me share Sheri


Member: Sheri
Location: wyoming
Remote Name: 209.193.78.203
Date: February 07, 2004
Time: 01:19 PM -0500

Comments

Just want to say (( Ruby)) and ((Ed)) you are helping me! As well as( jimr) and (kelly),( kat )your awesome! Thanks! I think I will keep coming back. Thank you to all here! Sheri


Member: Jim
Location: Elgin, Illinois
Remote Name: 64.109.136.4
Date: February 07, 2004
Time: 02:10 PM -0500

Comments

You all are in my thoughts and prayers. Nothing can get worse unless you drink. We have to think in degrees of getting better, we seek spiritual progress as a measuring tool, by deepening our relationship with our God/Power, who keeps us sober.


Member: Ruby B
Location: In the mountains
Remote Name: 24.25.157.232
Date: February 07, 2004
Time: 03:18 PM -0500

Comments

Sherie- ihave no idea how i could possibly be helping you but thank you. if my struggle right now is helping anyone then maybe it is not in vain. hugs to you stay sober. minute to minute love ruby


Member: Rebecca and Lily =)
Location: Sarasota
Remote Name: 67.212.84.7
Date: February 07, 2004
Time: 03:43 PM -0500

Comments

hey All--haven't been in a very long time, but defintely wanted to stop by! I had a bit of a rough time with the Serenity Prayer initally. I was raised with Chruch, felt i had a corner on that markey. No athiest here! Good Lutheran girl as far as my parents would like to believe! Ha! However, my ego did prevent me from looking at it much and when my Sponsor would send me back to it, inwardly I'd sigh and harumph, "I know!" Then after a while, I believed "th epower to chnage the things that Ican" meant YOU! I thought I could manipulate, show you the error of your thinking, get you to see it the right way (mine always), and if that didn't work, then off I'd go and dismiss you with a backwave of my hand! The good ole "whatever!". It's me. I get to work on me. That's it. Makes things simple, huh!?? Have a great day--this is a new life--embrace your Program with willingness--we are all heros on a journey!!


Member: Ed
Location: VA
Remote Name: 68.100.37.88
Date: February 07, 2004
Time: 10:17 PM -0500

Comments

Hi all. Ed an alcoholic. Tonight for the first time in my second time around I went to a small f2f meeting I had attended last Spring when I first started AA. I had undefined worries about doing that -- didn't know what to expect. But I was welcomed back enthusiastically by the few who had been there some 10 months ago and remembered me. That, of course, made me feel great and I was eager to share that feeling with you here. So, I'm looking at things a lot differently than I was just a couple of days ago. What goes down, must go up -- but you've got to stay sober and give it time. Another lesson for me. Hope that the others of you in the early days had as good a day as I did. Ruby dear, how's it going? Ed


Member: Ruby B
Location: In the mountains
Remote Name: 24.25.157.232
Date: February 07, 2004
Time: 11:08 PM -0500

Comments

Oh Ed i am so glad you had a good meeting. i still can't go back into the same meetings i did 10 years ago. feel like i let those who are still there down. i know thats crazy but maybe after a little more time. the dt's are better and the visit with the kids , although tough, was just what i needed. it reminded me of where i don't want to be anymore.let me be honest when i say i really wanted a drink after but the look of hope in my kids eyes is etched in my mind and it is winning out. the battle of the drunk Ruby and the wants to stay sober Ruby continues. went to a meeting and cried through most of it but got loads of hugs and love. its nice to think that others care and love me even though i am unable to say i feel that way toward myself. for all of those who are struggling through the first few days of being sober, please share your feeling, be honest about how scared, angry, confused and down right pissed you are. the only way to stop those feelings i'm finding is to share them with others and realizing they are normal. love to each and all who are in the midst of the first step. admitting powerlessness goes against everything most of us are tought our entire lives but it is the stark, ugly truth. drink has come and overtaken my life. and i don't know about you guys but I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! goodnight and hugs to all minute by minute Ruby


Member: stanly
Location: mi
Remote Name: 12.73.150.41
Date: February 08, 2004
Time: 03:54 AM -0500

Comments

ruby, how dare you. your children are traumatized by your drinking. god help them. I'm drunk but know better than to traumatize kids


Member: angela
Location: scotland
Remote Name: 195.93.34.7
Date: February 08, 2004
Time: 08:18 AM -0500

Comments

hi everyone, Ruby, thankyou for your help keeping ke sober. My children are the most important thing in my life. I used to say I'd face the devil for them! The devil I could not face was myself. I believe, with the help of god and AA, I have started to do this. I remember the look in my 12yr old sons eyes, and the expression on his face when I told him I was going into a treatment centre for 6 weeks (ended up being 6 months ~~I'm really very sick!!!).I thought he hated me, and he told me if I ever drank again he would never forgive me. The pain that he had was obvious, his mum,and her drinking was the cause. Now, I'm back home.I've been home for 3 months. It's not been easy in anyway, but I've stayed sober (with a great deal of love, support and prayers) and my life is beginning to come together again. I now have sole custody of my 3 children, they live with me fulltime.(regular contact with their dad)I have a job to return to, and I've damaged my career but it is not ended. It has took a long time, and alot of pain to get here, and there is a long road ahead.I am greatful for my life today. I say the serenity prayer to myself when ever I feel my thinking is the cause of my feeling(which is pretty much of the time),I want and need serenity in my life. Ineed to remember the pain to keep me from going back, because one drink will take me there. My sobriety is still that fragile. love and prayers to every one angela


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Remote Name: 64.222.178.39
Date: February 08, 2004
Time: 08:29 AM -0500

Comments

Hey ((stanly)), Are we having a tough night? There is one thing you need to know. Alcoholics hurt their children sometimes without wanting to. The best thing we can do for our kids is to get sober and healthy. I was not the greatest mother when I drank but don't you ever say that in front of my son. He loves me anyways! Unconditionally. Here is something I posted on the Coffeepot the other day. This is what I used to be like when I drank... and I'm not proud of it...>>>Name: Kelly M Location: NH Remote Name: 64.222.178.39 Date: 2/7/2004 Time: 8:39:24 AM Comments: Hey ((Pip)), I loved your share the other day. It really made me (((think))).... a good thing! I was at a youth meeting a few months back where the age was about 15-19. I was struck with the love I have for my son who is 19 and the (guilt) of raising him as a drunk. Listening to those young people share about growing up with a drunk Mom or Dad and that they now drink and use drugs because they hate their folks made me cry big time. My son is my heart and we are extremely close. At the same time I know he has repressed anger at me, who wouldn't at a Mom that was passed out every day? I shared that night to the kids about the night I was passed out on the couch and woke up to a flashlight in my face. A cop standing over me saying to wake up. I did and he said they found my son passed out in the front yard with his feet sticking out of the snow. He was drunk as a skunk and trying to make it home from a buddys and passed out! He was about 17. He could have froze to death and thank God he didn't. I told the kids how much I loved my son and even though I had a problem my biggest fear was losing my son. That even though some parents are drunks they still love their kids but they are *sick*. The question you made me think of is that if my son died would I be strong enough to handle it without picking up a drink? I honestly don't know if I would not want to die with him because I love him so much. There are people in AA that have lost loved ones and not picked up a drink over it. I don't know if I could get through it? Anyway, I want to thank you for that and I am going to talk to my sponsor about it. I want to think I could, with the help of AA get through the worst loss, and that would be it without picking up a drink. Gotta get to an early meeting, Deep in thought, Kelly :)


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Remote Name: 64.222.178.39
Date: February 08, 2004
Time: 08:38 AM -0500

Comments

((Angela)), Great share! I feel exactly like you did and do. I know that look in my sons eyes too. I don't see it anymore and now it is the look that he is proud of me! ((Ruby)), You are doing terrific, All you need to worry about is today, the next 24 hours. I'm so glad you had a nice visit with your kids. It just keeps getting better! Kelly :)


Member: Ed
Location: VA
Remote Name: 68.100.37.88
Date: February 08, 2004
Time: 10:02 AM -0500

Comments

Ruby - I share Kelly's thoughts. You're doing great. Keep it up. I'm praying for you as are many others here on the early sobriety board. You are not alone. Love. Ed