Member: raindogs
Location: maryland
Date: January 26, 2003
Time: 07:46 AM
Im in trouble, and I know it, yet a day hasnt gone by in 20 years where I havent had 3, 4, 5, 6 beers. Im sorry it doesnt relate to the topic. I guess I just needed to see myself type it out and then sit here and read it over and realize I need to at least try something ..what the hell, cant hurt I suppose.
Member: Kathy D
Location: AM, OH
Date: January 26, 2003
Time: 08:33 AM
Hi...I'm Kathy and I am an alcoholic. Insomnia plagues me every now and then just like everyone else I guess. When I was newly sober, and still in the Care Unit, I use to read the Big Book to put me to sleep at night. Maybe it was the comforting feeling that "I was not alone" that helped. Now after several years of soberity, I find that just getting up out of bed, making some hot chocolate and reading anything helps me relax enough to go to sleep. I do recall mentioning to my doctor once that if I quit drinking I probably would never sleep again and he said..."no one ever died from lack of sleep, when your body needs it enough you'll get it." Raindogs - Nothing changes if nothing changes. You are the only one that knows if you are sick and tired enough...yet.
Member: Anne N
Location: alaska
Date: January 26, 2003
Time: 09:59 AM
hello!? my name is Anne when i am in between the walls i am not one-hundred percent honest as i wish i could be. this last friday i was charged with a class b misdemeanor. all my charges were alcohol related. well right now it is ten to six and i woke up 15 hours ago. when the weekends come its with no thoughts of the partys wished to come. it is my time and i enjoy the sleep i do get. with my addictive behaviors i seem to do a lot of thing to a high extent. thoughts of continuing to stay off of mood and mind altering chemicals with more physical exercise for my dose of endorphins with thoughs of Missy E
Member: Tracy
Location: England
Date: January 26, 2003
Time: 12:06 PM
Hi Tracy alkie here, when i drink i don.t sleep until i pass out now that i am 9 days sober it is only the last 2 nights that i have had the best kip in wekk don.t know how long but now i am sleeping in the day which i never use to do but could it be the anti-depression meds i take, the doc said that while drinking they wouldn't work so now i am not they have kicked in anyone any thoughts on this? tracy.v@ntlworld.com
Member:
Location:
Date: January 26, 2003
Time: 12:30 PM
((((Tracy)))), nine days! Wonderful! Keep it up!
Member: Lessa E
Location: Chicago
Date: January 26, 2003
Time: 12:35 PM
Lessa E here, very grateful recovering alcoholic. I used to drink every night. I drank until I passed out. I didn't know what normal sleep was. Vacations, business trips and other times when I gave up drinking were miserable....I'd stay in a hotel and have to have my lights on all night. I'd fall asleep watching tv and then be up an hour later. And stay up until maybe 45 minutes before the alarm was scheduled to go off. I'd be tired all the next day. Only to repeat the cycle that same night - dry again.... Once I got sober, sleeping the night through was tough - very tough. For some reason, I incorrectly assumed once I got all the alcohol out of my system, I'd sleep without problem. And it just wasn't so. Folks would tell me "nobody ever died from a lack of sleep; they have died from alcohol" and I'd want to kill them, because I was exhausted. But they were right. I simply accepted the insomnia as part of the package. Guess the only thing I'll say is it got better. I worked the steps with a sponsor. Prayed and did daily quiet times. Went to a TON of meetings. Picked up the phone. And would share that I was having trouble sleeping. And gradually, this body learned to sleep again. But it took time. It took several readings of the BB during some of those insomniac periods. Countless magazines, hot showers, warm baths, soothing music, hot chocolate...... For me, there was no magic formula. I just had to work the program and leave the rest to my HP I now know as God. And gradually, I remembered how to sleep the night through. lessa_e@hotmail.com
Member: Kevin C
Location: Detroit
Date: January 26, 2003
Time: 01:57 PM
Hi, my name is Kevin C and I'm an alcoholic. (raindogs) and (Anne N), thanks for sharing! (Apologies if I'm off the topic of insomnia.) No one can tell you you're if you're an alcoholic or not, but I'll tell a little about my own realization. For years I found it impossible to admit I had a disease called alcoholism, but today that admission has become the first step to my recovery. My picture of an alcoholic was a skid-row bum in rags. Like many full-blown alcoholics, I rationalized in a thousand different ways: I don't drink near as much as that person... I haven't gotten in as much trouble as so-and-so... it's usually only beer... I don't drink in the mornings (though I did to stop the "shakes")... I can quit anytime I want... yadda yadda yadda. Through the fellowship of AA, I came to recognize I was in major denial. I learned that some of us alcoholics were on skid row while others had good jobs and college educations; some of us drank in the morning (and the rest of the day) and others only at night; some of us had lost jobs and done jail & prison time while others WHO HAD THE SAME DISEASE had not yet progressed to that point. Some of us drank only beer, others only Jack Daniels, others (like myself) drank anything that came along including shots of Listerine when nothing else was available. The quantities consumed or terrible consequences may vary, but the thing all alcoholics have in common is that AT SOME POINT WE LOST CONTROL OVER OUR DRINKING. We desperately wanted to prove that somehow we could regain control, but we could not. We sometimes managed to stop drinking for periods of time (hours, days, even weeks), but we couldn't stay stopped. And once we took the first drink, one was never enough. If all of this sounds hopeless, that's because it is... without intervention from a power greater than ourselves. The good news is that though there is no cure for this disease (if you have it, you've got it for life), there are countless thousands of us who are blessed with a daily reprieve from the fatal effects of our disease. We don't have to pick up a drink or a drug today, and we are experiencing a dimension of life we never dared to hope we could enjoy! How? For me it began when the men and women of AA shared "three pertinent ideas: a) that we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives, b) that probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism, and c) that God could and would if He were sought." When I walked in the doors of AA, recovery sounded too good to be true, but I'm watching it happen in my life and dozens of lives around me. If you're ready to take the first step, please find an AA meeting, get a copy of the book Alcoholics Anonymous (we call it the Big Book), and find a sponsor (a person who can help you begin to work the Twelve Steps and get in touch with your higher power). There is no cure for alcoholism, but there is a solution, and it can save your life! Thanks for letting me ramble.
Member: Beto L
Location: Tampico, Mexico
Date: January 26, 2003
Time: 02:42 PM
I haven't slept well ever, since puberty. Sometims if I get a lot of exercise I fall asleep exhausted, but even that doesn't always work. One thing is for sure, drinking won't help. When I drank I stayed awake as hard as I could to enjoy the buzz to the max. When the booze ran out I reluctantly went to sleep. I was fortunate to get sober where there was an AA group that met in a clubhouse that was open 24 hours a day. Lots of times when I couldn't sleep, I would go there and drink coffee. The safety of the place would make me drowsy. That's why I think my insomnia is fear related. What am I afraid of? I don't know.
Member: Landscape Ray
Location: Scotland
Date: January 26, 2003
Time: 04:11 PM
Some times i find it hard to get to sleep, but it is a hundred times better than my drinking days sometimes i didnt know if i was dreaming or awake it was very scary my mind was racing all the time! anxious with fear thank God not to-day, but i can still have the odd night , sometimes overtired or eating and drinking to-late at night and if i am worried about something then it can keep me awake, the kids aswell 7-5 they still get up in the night and when that happens its hard to get back to sleep, a hot bath works and plenty of exercise when you have a few lawns to cut.I sleep better in the summer when i am most active the winter his hard not very active! hot milk works, sometimes i put on a tape it helps, so does sex lol. my sponser used to say if you cant sleep then dont fight it get up and do something thats were my ironing came in it worked wonders still does!lol i used to laugh at the Tom Thumb movie when he couldnt sleep they brought in the Yawning Man i could have done with him when i was drinking lol Regards Ray
Member: jim c
Location: north carolina
Date: January 27, 2003
Time: 12:33 AM
I have used alcohol for years to help me with my sleep patterns. I am a shift worker so a couple toddies for the body worked fine to "knock me out" and insure i had enough sleep for the next nites work. My problem and what led me to aa were the days or nites when i didnt have to limit my drinks and then i drank till i blacked out and did alot of silly things. Thank God I didnt hurt myself or others but I have been in embarressing situations. I really didnt have a problem with myself drinking on a regular basis with moderation but i cannot risk the black outs because id like to think im a more responsible person than that. Thanks for letting me share jimbob
Member: Mat T
Location: Germany
Date: January 27, 2003
Time: 01:17 AM
Mat here - alcoholic. Day 7 again. Been through many periods of sobriety. Feels good. Sleeping good too. However, I always end up going back to controlled drinking and then binging then sobriety again (setbacks lasting a few weeks to a few months between sober periods). Been doing this for the past 5-6 years. Just have not given it up totally. At least I am not drinking every day. (Anne N.) Exercise is a great way to stay away from the booze. I exercise 4-6 days each week. Jog one day and go to the gym the next. Feels great and works all areas of mind, body, and soul. Had some depression a couple of years ago and the exercise helped me through that too. (Tracy). Nine days....Great, I am right behind you. God Bless all!
Member: Bill B.
Location: New Jersey
Date: January 27, 2003
Time: 02:04 AM
Jim C. I can totally relate. I have been a shift worker for 24 years, and having a vodka and oranejuice (4 or 5) for breakfast was the norm to get to sleep. Then when I didn't have to work, like you said, skys the limit. 2 days and counting. On night work tonight, I will go home and right to bed!
Member: H.
Location: Florida
Date: January 27, 2003
Time: 03:46 AM
Day 20 and still going! I'm finding that my sleep patterns are changing in different ways. I have the insomnia (it's what, almost 4am here? whoops), yet sleep it off during the day. Plus, I'm having a significant amount of 'drinking dreams' that run the gamut from being drunk, to thinking of relapsing, to actually relapsing, to crises resulting from blackouts. Mostly upon awaking I say 'Thank goodness they were just dreams! Here I am safe and sober another day'. Other times they're a bit too close to reality. I'm definitely looking forward to this phase of new recovery to end!
Member: John H
Location: Manchester UK
Date: January 27, 2003
Time: 06:05 AM
Hi Tracey - I was never a good sleeper when I drank (35 years of Adult life) and could hear a pin drop. When I quit 6 months ago I almost immediatelystarted to sleep the sleep of the peaceful! 8 solid hours and hard even then to wake up quickly (unlike previously when I always exploded into the day with a racing brain - full of rubbish, though!). Yes I also cat-napped during the afternoons once I stopped drinking (not falling into a post-lunch stupor because of the booze). My AA friends explained that I had a sleep hangover from years of poor quality sleep and I had a lot of catching up to do! This has proved to be true - sleeping great at night still (deeply) and not needing a siesta. Keep goping - you're doing great. Hope this helps! John H
Member: John H
Location: Manchester UK
Date: January 27, 2003
Time: 06:05 AM
Hi Tracey - I was never a good sleeper when I drank (35 years of Adult life) and could hear a pin drop. When I quit 6 months ago I almost immediatelystarted to sleep the sleep of the peaceful! 8 solid hours and hard even then to wake up quickly (unlike previously when I always exploded into the day with a racing brain - full of rubbish, though!). Yes I also cat-napped during the afternoons once I stopped drinking (not falling into a post-lunch stupor because of the booze). My AA friends explained that I had a sleep hangover from years of poor quality sleep and I had a lot of catching up to do! This has proved to be true - sleeping great at night still (deeply) and not needing a siesta. Keep goping - you're doing great. Hope this helps! John H
Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: January 27, 2003
Time: 08:57 AM
Hi All, (John H.) Thanks for explaining my post drinking sleep fests. It is just as you said that I sleep 8 hours a night and take an afternoon nap. I like the term sleep hangover and it is much nicer than the old hangover/ racing feeling and road rage driving. I also drank a lot of coffee to try and get over my hangover and out the door and I would crash and burn around noon and be so tired. Most of my friends in the program are the opposite and have trouble with insomnia so it is nice to know I'm not the only one with a sleep surplus. Tonight is my first night chairing a meeting and I'm just a little nervous about it. Thanks for all the advice about speaking, It will really help. Tracy, Matt and H. keep up the good fight. ((Kathy P.)) You sound great! Good luck on the womans meeting this week. I go to a nice small womens step meeting on Tuesdays. To the man with the teenagers from (Fla). that need gratitude, Try renting "Life Is A House", with Kevin Kline and watch it together. My son and I watched it a couple times and we got a lot out of it. Everyone have a great week! Don't Drink... Kelly
Member: charles s
Location: livonia mi
Date: January 27, 2003
Time: 10:22 AM
hi charles s here this is my first time on the aa web i was feeling a little strange today nothing really wrong just not myself. some days my life feels so boring. my sponsor tells me i have serenity and i do not even know it . i have been sober for two years and i know my life is better i am just trying to stay out of my own mind . i have to say it is so nice to know i am not alone tonight is my home group and i can not wait. god grant me the serenity .i am so glad this web site is here thank god for all you drunks .
Member: Tracy
Location: England
Date: January 27, 2003
Time: 10:58 AM
Thanks for the reply ((john H)))Take care all of you special people and (((charles))) welcome you are certainly not alone. Tracy Alkie
Member: Jackie T
Location: England
Date: January 27, 2003
Time: 01:10 PM
Hi Im new to this, I have three months sobriety today and already take for granted sleeping like a log, after years of drinking myself into oblivion to sleep. I love waking up in the morning with a clear head, no shakes or sweats and most of all knowing what I did the night before!I am finding it a struggle despite daily meetings, phone calls and lots of good friends. Spent yesterday standing in a shop for half an hour staring at wine before managing to leave (empty handed) and call a friend! I really don't want to end up where I was before or worse!
Member: Tracy
Location: England
Date: January 27, 2003
Time: 01:38 PM
Hi (((jackie))) I to felt like you today i went to southend-on-sea to clear ny head and ended up sitting on a bench drinking...wait for it Lemon coke but my head was getting fuzzy as i imagined it to be something a bit more interesting glad it wasn't but the thought is hanging around a bit tonight take care tracy.v@ntlworld.com
Member: Mark H
Location: SE Michigan
Date: January 27, 2003
Time: 07:35 PM
I am glad we have this site!! I tried to go to my first meeting tonight, the building was closed - no one there. I think (and pray) I hit rock bottom Friday. Totalled my uninsured truck, airbag to the face, night in jail. I've been thinking about joining for at least two years. Today is day three sober. Going to go to another meeting site tommorow night. Sleeping is pretty rough right now, but I think that is from the guilt of losing all sense of priority in my life with the exception of God and my daughter. The truck and jail didn't bring me to rock bottom, if I am there, it is the idea of losing time with my little girl. Thanks for listening. Mark
Member: Bob P.
Location: Midwest
Date: January 27, 2003
Time: 08:35 PM
Mark: Unless you already know you have a firm meeting tomorrow night (as opposed to another empty building..), you might consider calling AA in your phone book and making sure the meeting you plan to attend is actually active and going to happen. This is a nasty disease and whether yiu have three days or three years, it will use circumstances to undermine you if it can. You're in a moment of clarity now. Try and get to a meeting before it passes and your disease starts whispering in your ear again. Just something to think about... Good Luck! Bob - DOS 05/12/99
Member: Kim V
Location: kimvaughn@madison.main.nc.us
Date: January 27, 2003
Time: 08:53 PM
Kim here, alcoholic. I found for me passing out and blacking out really didn't count as sleep. I mean I never woke from that kind of a stupor refreshed. I find that if I don't get enough sleep now I feel exhausted all day just like I did when I use to have hang overs. The difference is that now I usually sleep good. Also I have to watch that I don't get too tired or over stressed because these things can give me insomnia. Also I need to get some quite time before I get ready for bed. I mean watching an action movie right before bed time isn't the best way to get in a relaxed mood. I find that pray and meditation and just chilling and doing some relfection, some sleepy time tea, things that are nurturing to me are helpful and healthly for myself and most often work with me. Thanks for letting me share. Still Powerless in NC.
Member: David G
Location: MIchigan(Lansing and "up north"
Date: January 27, 2003
Time: 10:14 PM
Hello all, To Tracy in England: I am on anti-depression meds. I found that while drinking, I would have disrupted sleep patterns if I was off the meds a few days. I went back to the doc, told him I was having trouble with waking in the middle of the night with anxiety, without telling him how much I was drinking. So, he gave me anti-anxiety medication. Still had messed up sleep patterns. Duh, drugs, even prescription drugs, and alcohol make a "chemical stew" that keeps your body from natural daily rhythms especially sleep. After one of those middle of the night awakenings, I knew I had to stop drinking. I have been going to a lot of AA meetings for the last three months, but have not stopped drinking totally..what a dope?
Member: H.
Location: Florida
Date: January 27, 2003
Time: 10:19 PM
You're absolutely right Kim V! I remember sleeping all day after (another) bender and having my roommate say "Why are you so tired? You went to bed early and slept all day!". I kept thinking...Wait a minute, this isn't sleep, it's passing out. Mind your own darn (or another harsher word) business ;). Anyway, it's good to remember moments like those because they remind me how abnormal and unhealthy I was.
Member: Buddy
Location: Big Easy
Date: January 28, 2003
Time: 12:25 AM
I'm Buddy, an alcoholic from New Orleans. I have been sober now for 45 days. I am having trouble sleeping as well but I don't mind. I'd rather be tired than tired AND hungover. Simple exhaustion is a comparative piece of cake. Still on a "pink cloud" and trying to stretch it out as long as I can. Everyone have a good 24. Uphold your soul, baby.
Member: SOBER 4
Location:
Date: January 28, 2003
Time: 02:21 AM
Hi All you rumphounds, On a daily bases I must remeber How It WORKS. And it says rarley have we seen aperson fail who has followed our path those who do not are people who can not or will not give ........
Member: SOBER 4
Location:
Date: January 28, 2003
Time: 02:21 AM
Hi All you rumphounds, On a daily bases I must remeber How It WORKS. And it says rarley have we seen aperson fail who has followed our path those who do not are people who can not or will not give ........
Member: john e
Location: santa cruz
Date: January 28, 2003
Time: 08:01 AM
Iam mine days sober i work at nite so i have no trouble sleeping my mom died recently and iam having prob lems with that i hope to start going to meetings as ihave in the past
Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: January 28, 2003
Time: 08:45 AM
((Mark)) - Where are you in SE Michigan? I live in Brighton and work in Troy (North of Detroit). If you need to talk, give me a call at 248-362-2997, ext. 332. I'm 8 1/2 months sober and go to six or seven meetings a week. They have given me many new friends and a continual source of support that I can find nowhere else. Yea, this site is a great place to check in and listen to others from all over the world, but it is no replacement for face-to-face meetings. I'm glad you are here and keep coming back. This program really does work, if you honestly can admit that you are alcoholic and that you want recovery. I know because I'm absolutely alcoholic, and I decided that maybe, just maybe, there was a better, happier life that I could be living. It keeps getting better..... one day at a time. Peace, and good luck. Bill
Member: Tracy V
Location: England
Date: January 28, 2003
Time: 09:27 AM
Just had an assesment interview with the Alcohol Advisory Service they have reccommended that i attend a 6 wk intensive therapy course which i intend to do can't bellieve the weight of my sholuders,because i binge drink i thought i was a fraud but apparently i have a seriuouse problem she seemed shocked when i mentioned the cought medicines i use as well mind you as i said it i felt a little shocked. well here i go into the unknown hope it works (((hugs all))) tracy.v@ntlworld.com
Member: joe don A
Location: nova scotia canada joe_don55@hotmail.com
Date: January 28, 2003
Time: 10:34 AM
joe here alkie. 6 mo.s clean my firdy month i had trouble sleeping i didn't die or anything i just read the bb an some grapevinestill i got tired an went to sleep turned a negitve into a positive worked my program attended my meetings an it worked for me hope it works for you to. tracy .v educate yoursrlf all that you can about your alcohol problem learn how to deal with it an learn to live the sober life best of luck to you an enjoy your 6 wk. course joe
Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: January 28, 2003
Time: 03:11 PM
HI, Bill here, alcoholic from Arizona. Not much to say on insomnia that has not been already said. I was kept pretty busy in the early days. I was lucky enough to have my first sponsor move in with me. Along with his sponsorship he also taught me fly fishing. (I found out later that he only took me so he could catch two limits LOL). What was taught and agree with is if insomnia occurs utilize the time. Read the big book. Study the program. Catch a bit of AA history. AA has a rich and interesting history. Bill az-bill@mindspring.com
Member: David G
Location: Lansing
Date: January 28, 2003
Time: 09:12 PM
Hello to Mark in SE Mich. For meetings in your area, check http://www.aa-semi.org/meetings/Wayne/mon~way.htm Wishing you well
Member: SusanN
Location:
Date: January 28, 2003
Time: 10:48 PM
Hi all,Susan here...I'm an alcoholic from Fl...I had my last drink 24 hours ago so I guess I almost qualify. I have been feeling very strange lately and saw a neroligist, the MRI readings showed that my brain is "shrinking" from 20 years of night drinking.If I continue drinking I will die soon..hows that for a good reason? I'm wondering which will be easier...I am a single Mom, working professional...NO ONE KNOWS ...I am embarressed and ashamed...luckily the Doc gave me something for sleep.......am I going to be sick for a while.??...I need your support and I will contact AA ASAP....but I am really embarrassed.....thanks for listening,I'm scared to death....Susan
Member: FC
Location: CA
Date: January 29, 2003
Time: 12:39 AM
Hi all, Early on in my sobriety, insomnia was a great deal, I drank all my life and slept like a baby, other known as past out every night. When I tried to get sober, I could not sleep at all, even days went by, I tried everything recommended, and nothing worked. I remember spending night after night keeping myself busy, had AA tapes that I listen to all night, read the BB. Nothing helped cause my mind was so wound up, after about 10 days or so, I went back to drinking, just to get a good nights rest. This went on for a few more months. 10 days in, 5 days out. But I was spending more time sober than drunk. Little baby steps at a time for me. Progress rather than Perfection. I kept hearing it will pass, but not soon enough for me, as months went by the more I started getting clarity of the mind, and was able to fight getting to sleep without a drink better. But this took work and patience. Do not be discouraged, if your feeling way different from what your accustomed to, go to meetings, try and not take the first drink, talk to AA people, get numbers, and of course keep reading that BB. Make the program simple, don't try to take everything on at one time. I found that leads to alot of confusion and pain. Its a spiritual growth program, little at a time. Thanks for letting me share tonight!
Member: SAM A
Location: NY LONG ISLAND
Date: January 29, 2003
Time: 12:45 AM
Hi Sam here. I have been drinking for over 35 years. I now have 35 days. I wake up at least 3 times a night. The only think that does it for me is reading the BB. SAM
Member: FC
Location: CA
Date: January 29, 2003
Time: 12:51 AM
Hi all, Early on in my sobriety, insomnia was a great deal, I drank all my life and slept like a baby, other known as past out every night. When I tried to get sober, I could not sleep at all, even days went by, I tried everything recommended, and nothing worked. I remember spending night after night keeping myself busy, had AA tapes that I listen to all night, read the BB. Nothing helped cause my mind was so wound up, after about 10 days or so, I went back to drinking, just to get a good nights rest. This went on for a few more months. 10 days in, 5 days out. But I was spending more time sober than drunk. Little baby steps at a time for me. Progress rather than Perfection. I kept hearing it will pass, but not soon enough for me, as months went by the more I started getting clarity of the mind, and was able to fight getting to sleep without a drink better. But this took work and patience. Do not be discouraged, if your feeling way different from what your accustomed to, go to meetings, try and not take the first drink, talk to AA people, get numbers, and of course keep reading that BB. Make the program simple, don't try to take everything on at one time. I found that leads to alot of confusion and pain. Its a spiritual growth program, little at a time. Thanks for letting me share tonight!
Member: Gage
Location: La
Date: January 29, 2003
Time: 02:04 AM
I'm Gage and I'm an alcoholic. We'll all sleep sooner or later. In the meantime, don't drink for any reason at all.
Member: Jackie
Location: England
Date: January 29, 2003
Time: 04:41 AM
(Tracey) I spent six weeks in treatment, forced in against my will! It saved my life! I thought I wasn't an alcoholic cause I'm a binge drinker and was told it's harder for people like me because we imagine we have an element of control! That's so true for me, I now accept I'm not a daily drinker YET. It's a progressive illness and I know I will be much worse if I pick up again. Mark, good luck and work on Step One, we cant change till we accept we are totally powerless over alcohol and it's the first drink that leads to a drunk
Member: Tracy
Location: England
Date: January 29, 2003
Time: 08:12 AM
((jackie))yes you are right that was what i was told that it is harder for me because i tell myself i can stop drinking but your head tjust switchs of until that next drink. My am thankful for the chance of the 6wk treatment i have been offered scared but will go through with it. tracy.v@ntlworld.com
Member: carlene
Location: ca
Date: January 29, 2003
Time: 03:03 PM
today i am 35 days sober!! i have found the most wonderful support system. though they are there for me i am the one who has to do the work for myself. i have had horrible insomnia from day one. i also suffer from depression and have started therapy. a psychiatrist put me on an antidepressant monday and i hope it will work to help me sleep. sleeping meds did not help and i tried 3 difrent rx's. susan nn...don't feel embarrassed or ashamed. i had one year sobriety and relapsed. it took me 6 years to finally get back. i was embarrassed and ashamed also to admit i once again needed this program. i have gone to a meeting everyday, got a sponsor and have written my first step. i thought my 1st time i could do this myself but believe me it doesn't work. people in aa are so supportive. they even tell you if it's the newcomers that keep "them" coming back!! i have found women's meetings are best for me. i hope you find your way soon to a meeting...it works!!
Member: Melanie
Location: Snowed in in Ohio USA
Date: January 29, 2003
Time: 04:45 PM
Hello Friends, I'm Melanie,alcoholic. It's common for new comers to have insomnia. I think most do. For some of us it continues to be an occaisional problem. Something that helps me when it's the "whirling brain, obsessive thoughts" kind of insomnia is to get up and write. Write what's going through your head. Can it be changed? If not say a prayer. If it can be changed, make yourself a plan. What are some ways to attack this problem, some possible out-comes? List some goals or actions that you can take IN THE MORNING. Again, say a prayer. Putting things on paper takes a different kind of mental processing. It may help clear some things up and let you sleep. (TRACY) Your meds may be the wrong dose when you quit drinking. Be honest with your dr. (SUSAN) I was embarassed too. We're all drunks. Welcome,love! Love and blessings to all.
Member: Melanie
Location: Ohio USA
Date: January 29, 2003
Time: 04:56 PM
Melanie again, sorry. (SUSAN) You might need medical help to get started. I did. Get a referral from that dr. who diagnosed your brain. Love and blessings.
Member: ChrisH
Location: Texas
Date: January 29, 2003
Time: 06:34 PM
I've been lurking in the shadows and reading these pages for a couple of weeks now (sorry about the deviation from the topic). Today I'm hung-over...called in sick to work. I typically drink (i.e get drunk) every 3 or 4 days. I usually go to an AA meeting maybe once a year, when things get bad. I realize I have to change. Today is day one. Thanks for your patience.
Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: January 30, 2003
Time: 10:15 AM
((Chris H)) - Welcome! I advise you to find a meeting in your area so you can hear firsthand from people just like you. This site is a great place for support, but it's no replacement for face-to-face meetings. I'm glad you made it here, and keep coming back! Bill
Member: Susan A.
Location: Vernon, Connecticut
Date: January 30, 2003
Time: 12:21 PM
Hi all,I'm Susan and I'm an alcoholic. Insomnia (and the committee between my ears) kicked my tuckuss for a while when I first was learning to live without drinking. (learning everything, it seemed! Heck, I even washed the dishes drunk) Learning to sleep without drinking was hard. Along with all the good things said already, talking and being honest with my sponsor about the crazy thoughts, ideas, fear, etc that kept me awake and balistic helped alot. I needed to say the same things over and over sometimes, but she never pushed me away or got short with me. Just loved me until I could love myself. *Susan N.* Please come back, and keep coming back! I'm another 'Susan', single parent (daughter was three when God lead me to AA, she's twenty now), etc. Everyone here has been where you are now (new, afraid, ashamed, etc). Hon, just don't drink, and you NEVER have to hurt like this again. The newcomer is the most important person here.
Member: J-Rae
Location: N.D.
Date: January 30, 2003
Time: 05:16 PM
(((Everyone))) When I first got sober, sleep didn't come very easily...What helped was journaling, praying, reading the BB, AA history, such as Dr. Bob and the good old timers, The language of the heart, the 12x12, and other AA material. I would wake up every hour on the hour. I'd take baths (long hot ones). I was on antianxiety medication. My MD knew of my condition, so that helped being honest with him (at last). There were other newcomers then who had the insomnia problem, and we'd play cards or study the BB together. First and Foremost, we didn't drink. No matter what.
Member: Bob S.
Location: Salt Lake City
Date: January 30, 2003
Time: 10:43 PM
Hi all, I'm Bob and an alcoholic. While in a treatment program for aobut a month, I slept 2-3 yours a night at most. After getting out, at bedtime I read the BB, AA history, the 12&12, any recovery related material, and often would wake up in the morning with it on my chest. Now I sometimes have insomnia and as has been stated, I get out of bed, make herbal tea or hot cocoa and read. Usually within an hour I'm ready for bed again. Sometimes I'm awake over a resentment or preoccupied with something I need to take care of. I write about it, that way it gets off the pen and onto the paper and outta my head, and that always works on that kind of situation. Then I have to take care of it right away or it will fester or bug me. Sleep tight.
Member: Diane
Location: Alabama
Date: January 31, 2003
Time: 12:10 AM
(SusanN)consider yourself hugged from another woman, single mother, who didn't think anyone could possibly know her shame, deep dark secrets. My name is Diane and I'm a grateful recovering alcoholic. (Southern gal, too - Alabama) Pick up the phone and find an AA meeting. You aren't alone. Insomnia is a good topic. Thank you (Gage) for the wonderful insight. Booze and drugs will kill me faster than a sleepless night. Thank you all for being here.
Member: Jackie
Location: England
Date: January 31, 2003
Time: 06:35 AM
(Susan) get to a meeting and keep coming back. Im a single parent of four young children and I'm all they've got. I'm no good to them drunk and I've got to keep reminding myself when it gets tough all my YETS are waiting for me. I know I'll end up dead if continue the way I was, binges get closer together. Tracey good luck in treatment, mine was the hardest time of my life but really changed me for the better. Sometimes I get so bogged down in daily worries, like no money that I have to really make myself remember the hell of drinking and weeks of sleepless nights when I stopped. Remember "this to shall pass" it works for me
Member: Caroline B
Location: New Hampshire
Date: January 31, 2003
Time: 07:02 AM
I am an alcoholic. This is day 3 of my second attempt to stop drinking in the past 6 months. Last time I was sober for 3 months. I find the more I exercise the better I sleep and the less alcohol is in my mind. I will walk 7 miles or ride my bike to curb any craving I might have. I realize it is just as easy to get my sneakers on as it is to go to the fridge. I now have quite a few pairs of sneakers around so they are always easy to find.
Member: Stacey M
Location: Pa
Date: January 31, 2003
Time: 05:57 PM
Hi everyone, 31 days sober today, feeling a little stronger everyday. the insomnia lets up, just gotta give it time like everything else. My antidepressants have kicked in and a personality I think I can live with and like is coming out. wish me luck. I know its a long road ahead but for the first time in about 10yrs I feel hope.
Member: Marcie L.
Location: MI
Date: January 31, 2003
Time: 09:16 PM
High? Hope not anymore! I'm Marcie and I'm an alcoholic with an addictive personality for anything. I've beat the drugs but am having a hard time with the alcohol. I quit for a month the past summer w/help from AA, but couldn't seem to get past the need for the alcohol high to relieve the stress of life. I don't have a problem sleeping, as a matter of fact I can sleep 10-12 hours a day. I just want to get sober and stay sober! Any helpful suggestions?
Member: Stacey M
Location: pgh pa
Date: January 31, 2003
Time: 11:49 PM
Hi Marcie, there's alot of things you can do to relieve the stress in your life, but having a drink is not the one that works. has it worked so far? give yourself some credit, you've managed to give up drugs and you didnt crumble under the stress.put the alcohol on the back burner for a while and you may see you can handle the stress better than you think .then you become a little proud of yourself and maybe you'll discover most of your stress is a direct result of your drinking, you ease up on drinking,and your stress eases.the result is...a better you. just a suggestion.
Member: Jan
Location:
Date: February 01, 2003
Time: 02:32 AM
((Susan N.)) I have no medical training and I don't mean to be flippant, but part of my recovery is to see the positive possibilities in EVERYTHING. A few years ago, my mother had a stroke, the kind where she bled into her brain, and the doctors were amazed that the bleeding, which was so visible on the X-ray, didn't seem to be pressing against anything in her central nervous system that would shut down her breathing or other essential functions. At the time I joked that it was a good thing that there was so much empty space up there in her head. She wasn't an alcoholic, but maybe brain shrinkage isn't a uniformly negative thing. I wish you the best in recovery and health, but sometimes the plan for us isn't clear from the temporary hardships. Some damage that we do to ourselves is reversible; at the very least we can stop doing further damage. I wish you the best.
Member: Tracy
Location: England
Date: February 01, 2003
Time: 04:10 AM
Hi Tracy here 17 days sober I do have an HP it happened when i went ot my first AA meeting sitting there recovering from my latest binge i just felt a clarity like i had never known but the clarity is so one hour and then i have to give it a lot of work the next hour at this moment i am giving it a lot of work but is it possible that the peace i found that night will win out or could i losemy grip on it but one thing i do know when the peace is with me no drink could make me feel higher tracy.v@ntlworld.com
Member: Mike K
Location: Detroit
Date: February 01, 2003
Time: 04:40 AM
When I was like 13 or 14, I was peeking through some of my dads paperwork, being a typical curious kid when I came across my mom's death certificate. She had died when I was a baby so I never had a recollection of her. I found out that she had died from overdosing on alcohol, and then it later came out that it was something that had been a problem for her for a long time. Knowing that, I was always afraid that I might have the same disesae, even before I started drinking. For a long time I was fine but then somewhere along the way, I lost control. It's been getting worse, I've actually been missing days of work because I'll start off just with one drink and then not stop til it's gone. I've said things and done things while drunk that I would never ever do. It changes me into someone I really don't like. Lately, I've been sure I have a problem but thought that I could manage it alone and that I could keep it under control yet still be able to drink. I've come to realize I don't have that power. I don't want to end up with the same fate as my mom. Last night I took what will hopefully be my last drink. It hit me as I was finishing it that I've been trying to fool myself and doing a bad job of it at that. I've never said this until now, but I am an alcoholic. Reading everyone's words here, tonight, has shown that there's hope and that it's not something anyone has to go through alone. Thank you all for listening and sharing.
Member:
Location:
Date: February 01, 2003
Time: 09:03 AM
Kevin C. what a beautiful message. I'm in the denial,think-we-can-codependantly-handle-this-stage. Thank you for your words of wisdom
Member: Somewhere between
Location: here and there
Date: February 01, 2003
Time: 09:03 AM
Kevin C. what a beautiful message. I'm in the denial,think-we-can-codependantly-handle-this-stage. Thank you for your words of wisdom
Member: insane
Location: insanity hall
Date: February 01, 2003
Time: 10:47 AM
((somewhere)) you are here so you are not in as much denial as you think
Member: insane
Location: insanity hall
Date: February 01, 2003
Time: 11:09 AM
((somewhere)) you are here so you are not in as much denial as you think
Member: Stacey M
Location: Pit Pa
Date: February 01, 2003
Time: 11:15 AM
Dear Kevin c and Mike K, hows that denial thing working for ya?actually I think it should be more of a "building the strength and courage to battle the demon stage" because you guys already know your problem drinkers,right?I mean come on! and you know the only way to be happy again is to beat the demon ,so that you can get on with the life you were suppose to have, quit stalling, you know its inside of you, reach down and grab the strength and wisdom that god gave you and get to work,just see what happens,you might surprise yourself . take care
Member: Shelagh B
Location: manchester
Date: February 01, 2003
Time: 12:13 PM
Hi Tracey, Shelagh here 5.5 months sober I think your feeling was that you felt while you were at your first meeting was a feeling of being with people who at last you had something in common with you no longer have to hide your feelings or your fears you are no longer alone, your quest for sobriety is one that every single AA member strives for. We each have a common goal and that is to stay SOBER and not pick up that first drink.When I go to meetings I feel a buzz inside that keeps me going back for more, the more I can get to the better I feel. I read the BB a lot too and my reflections book every day, they both help me. The people I have met in AA are fast becomming firm friends people I can count on if I need them to stay sober, I really do love AA and what it is teaching me, you can hold onto that feeling by keep going back. luv sheils
Member: Marie
Location: Seattle
Date: February 01, 2003
Time: 12:48 PM
I didn't sleep much last night. I need to get out of denial and stop drinking. I drink 3-4 times a week, and I see a clear progression in my drinking. I get drunk almost everytime I drink now and I can consume a lot more booze. I've been keeping it hidden from family and friends - only my fiance knows as he drinks with me and takes care of me during and after. Poor guy, he can never say no to me, or I'll just do what I want when I want to regardless of what he says. I am a successful, professional women - why do I keep doing such stupid things!! It's the booze - right? I want to stop - for me, I want to sleep at night, I want to stop feeling so full anxiety - that the only thing that calms me is a drink. I want to stop feeling guilty and ashamed of my little secret. I want to wake up every morning - feeling healthy and vibrant. It takes a lot of energy to be a drunk. I think I'll go to a AA meeting today.
Member: 32days
Location: GA
Date: February 01, 2003
Time: 01:06 PM
Dear Marie, read two comments above yours, the one meant for mike and kevin, it can apply to you as well.try something different, start today
Member: Kevin C
Location: Detroit
Date: February 01, 2003
Time: 02:05 PM
Hi, Kevin C from Detroit here, and definitely an alcoholic. All thanks to my Higher Power for another day of sobriety! What keeps me sober today is not willpower, it's Higher Power. The Big Book tells us, if you're just a moderate or heavy drinker, willpower may be enough to keep you sober. If you're a real alcoholic (BB p. 21), you have lost control: you are powerless over alcohol. "At a certain point in the drinking of every alcoholic, he passes into a state where the most powerful desire to stop drinking is of absolutely no avail." (p. 24) "If you are as seriously alcoholic as we were, we believe there is no middle-of-the-road solution. We were in a position where life was becoming impossible, and if he had passed into the region from which there is no return through human aid, we had but two alternatives: One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could; and the other, to accept spiritual help." (p. 25) The AA way is not gritting your teeth, exerting more will power, or "white knuckling it"... it's surrender. And it works! ((Mike K)), glad you've finally made the admission that you are an alcoholic. There is a solution! Where are you in the Detroit area? If it's western Wayne County, I'd love to show you some great AA meetings in Inkster, Wayne, or Dearborn, but there are great meetings all over. ((Bill P)) you are always an encouragement. Thanks for sharing your experience, strength and hope.
Member: Somewhere between
Location: here and there
Date: February 01, 2003
Time: 02:12 PM
What a wonderful group of people here. Why do we all share the disease? My brother, who has had his AA card laminated, sent me this: A woman was asked by a co-worker, "What is it like to be a recovering addict?" The co-worker replied, "It is like being a pumpkin. God picks you from the patch, brings you in and washes all the dirt off of you. Then he cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff. He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc., and then He carves you a new smiling face and puts his light inside of you to shine for all the world to see." God grant us the Serenity to accept the things we cannot change --- The Courage to change the things we can --- And the Wisdom to know the difference ---
Member: Melanie
Location: Thawing out in Ohio USA
Date: February 01, 2003
Time: 03:19 PM
Hi Marie, I'm a drunk too! Don't you think that maybe a few more people might know about your alcohol problem? If you're really honest? EVERYBODY knew about me! I found out that the anxiety that only went away with a drink was CAUSED mostly by drinking...the dumb things I did and said, hurting my husband,guilt, remorse, self-consciousness,embarassment, the struggle to keep living...It happens to laborers and "professionals," strippers and teachers, teenagers and retirees...you get the drift. So welcome my friend! Put down that drink and pick up a big book, we've been waiting for you! Welcome to all new people, thanks for being here for me.
Member: Stacey M
Location: Steeler country
Date: February 01, 2003
Time: 04:25 PM
I love this web site, I'm new to it and I look forward to logging on to see whats happening,I will keep you all in my Prayers tonite,be proud ,we're all trying very hard and it helps to know we're not alone, keep up the good fight.you people are Inspiring me to stay sober,tomorrow being 33 days. yeah!!!
Member: Carrie B
Location: In 4 feet of snow NH
Date: February 01, 2003
Time: 05:30 PM
My name is Carrie and I am an alcoholic. I grew up in a family where my parents drank beer each night. I never knew that most people didn't do that. Most of their social functions revolved around alcohol... cocktail parties etc. I am now 33 and have learned I have been equating having fun with drinking. My social drinking has long since become binge drinking. This past summer I stopped drinking for 3 months. When I started drinking again I drank more then ever. I am trying to stop again. I am so dispointed in myself. Walking Serentity@aol.com
Member: Gage
Location: La
Date: February 01, 2003
Time: 07:15 PM
I'm Gage. I'm an alcoholic. I always preface what I want to say on this board with that statement because I know that, for me, the most important step I took toward recovery in the beginning was to simply accept that I am an alcoholic, alcohol had beaten me, and I was never going to be able to drink successfully. That knowledge was hard earned. When I got to AA, I wanted to get off the merry-go-round so bad that I was willing to "white knuckle" as long as it took. However, I had a period of "white knuckle" sobriety once before and it was awful. So, I was prepared for things to be pretty awful. Thank God, the folks in AA told me there was a better way to get sober and stay sober. It didn't involve fighting booze at all. It did require me to put the bottle away, but not for the rest of my life -- just for today. It sounds nuts, but it works. Everyday for almost two years now, I have started the day by making a simple decision not to drink that day, and that day only. There is plenty of booze in the world. If I've got to have it tomorrow, it'll be there. Just not today. There is just one problem with this: Even if I'm not looking for booze, the booze might be looking for me. The folks in AA have a plan for that too. So, while I'm staying sober one day at a time, I have busied myself with taking the other eleven steps. Somewhere in doing that, my compulsion to drink got taken away. And there are even steps that keep it away as well. One of them entails my coming here and telling you folks just starting out that you CAN do it, ONE DAY AT A TIME. It's working for me and I am no better, no smarter, no luckier than any of you. So, why shouldn't it work for you? Don't fight. Surrender, and get started on the steps to the best of your ability. Congratulations to all of you.
Member: MEG
Location: Central,OH
Date: February 01, 2003
Time: 11:36 PM
Thanks All!! Keep the Faith.
Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: February 02, 2003
Time: 12:36 AM
Hi Gage, Nice to see you here. Your so right about total surrender. Good intentions to stop drinking did not cut it for me. Losing a lot including my self respect were not even enough to stop. I had to be brought to my knee's. It was the best decision I ever made. These past months have been a gift and a learning experience that you can live life happily without booze. My mental obsession is gone. I also keep working steps 1-3 over and over and am ready for step 4. Who really wants to do a searching moral inventory of themselves? I don't but I know until I admit to myself and another my wrongs I can't move forward or stay sober. Other than showing up at meetings the steps are what (keeps) us sober. How do I know? I see the difference and serenity in people who have mastered the steps, they glow. There are people with a lot of sobriety that have not done the steps and they are dry and crispy. They talk the talk but don't walk the walk. I don't want that kind of sobriety. I want what the steps have to offer, I want that radiance. My Dad always said, Why be ordinary when you can be extraordinary! Makes sense to me.... Kelly
Member: Carrie B
Location: NH
Date: February 02, 2003
Time: 05:46 AM
This is Carrie and I am an alcoholic. I choose not to drink today. Thanks Gage and Kelly.