Member: LANDSCAPE RAY
Location: SCOTLAND
Date: 12/29/2002
Time: 5:52:54 AM

Comments

Hi Landscape Ray first here, living without booze for me was difficult in the begining i felt i had lost my crutch and the last thing i wanted to do was stop drinking i couldnt see a life without it but a.a. changed that but i was so scared that i would not be able to cope so ,coping without booze was difficult in the begining, so coping is a good way to start.. thanks for the E;MAILS PHIL, AND MIKA. LOTS OF LOVE RAY


Member: Tarver
Location: Toronto, Canada
Date: 12/29/2002
Time: 9:17:24 AM

Comments

I have a further suggestion on the topic of "coping without booze": how have people coped with problems that they didn't even fully realize they had until they stopped drinking? For me, my fourth step inventory revealed a few character defects that I had been vaguely aware of, but which I had no idea were so pervasive in my life. When I was drinking, I didn't really cope with them at all, which had a lot to do with how my life had become so unmanageable. One example is taking care of myself financially. Now that my non-coping strategy (drinking) is off the table, I have to face reality. I can't say yet how I am "coping", because I feel like I have only just really become aware of the problem.


Member: Britt B
Location: Atlanta
Date: 12/29/2002
Time: 9:44:06 AM

Comments

Hello. My name is Britt and I am an alcoholic. Great topic for me, particularly at this time of the year. Coping with holiday stress, The family all being together, Holiday bills etc. I find I need to listen. Not only to my sponsor but also my family and friends around me. If I do I can do what I can do to make things as good as I can. When the inevitable family disagreement comes up, I can Be objective and not add to the argument. This may not help stop the disagreement but I do not add to either. My family asks how I can be so calm in this situation and I tell them that I can not change the way others think or feel I can only offer a different point of view. Also by listening I find when I am getting in to a bad frame of mind. The people who care about me can tell before I can when I am getting ďoff Center". Anyway I still have my moments, particularly at work, When coping is more difficult. But even then if I would listen better I probably would have a less difficult time. Thanks for letting me babble. Britt


Member: Cindi P.
Location: Chippewa Falls
Date: 12/29/2002
Time: 9:51:29 AM

Comments

Until I followed a sponsor through the steps in the BB my coping with life without alcohol included the Serenity prayer, the paragraph on acceptance, and meetings where AA's told me to just "keep coming back." After I started doing the steps I learned to pray, to wait, to call other AA's, to read from the book. Before completing the steps I was diagnosed with another chronic disease and I learned the importance of keeping it one day at a time. In the 7 years since then I have had many opportunities to practice these principles in all my affairs, which usually meant, again, keeping it one day at a time while practing all the steps in reference to whatever situation arose. I still use the Serenity Prayer lots, and refer to my HP when I say "thy will,not mine, be done."


Member: Jock M
Location: Middlesex. Vermont
Date: 12/29/2002
Time: 11:51:59 AM

Comments

My name is Jock and I'm an alcoholic. What a gift this web site is! My thanks to all who make it possible. I like what Cindi had to say - it's always good to hear the program as it is written in the BB. Quite often I get sidetracked and back into my own head - trying to figure things (like coping) out for myself. I have to remember what my sponcer said to me during my first days of not drinking - that my best thinking made me a hopeless alcoholic. I need to work the steps not once or twice, but every day as the BB and step 10 tell me. When I do this I get to change, grow and learn a little bit every day. And every day coping gets to be a little less of a problem. AS the 12th step tells me, if I'm diligent in doing these steps, my connection to my HP gets a little stronger every day as well. It seems to me that the stronger this connection is the easier it is to cope - even around the Holidays, which I agree are always pretty stressful. I'll sum up by saying that I drank because it made me feel better - I work the program of AA because it makes me feel a lot better than drinking ever did!


Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: 12/29/2002
Time: 1:36:52 PM

Comments

Hi, Bill here. Alcoholic from Arizona. I drank for 33 years, 13 of which is still a bit fuzzy. My last binge was over a year long. Quite frankly, our lives start to improve the moment we put down our last drink. The progression of our alcoholism stops at that moment. Most of us will clinically detox in three to five days. There are some more serious cases that my take a bit longer. Some may require hospitalization. Some may have acquired other health problems as a result of drinking. I qualify those last statements as a health care professional. Clinically detoxed means that the physical compulsion for us to drink has left us. Now we have to deal with the mental obsession. In AA we deal with the mental obsession though the 12 Steps. As soon as we are detoxed we are ready to start. In the first three steps we (1) define the problem; (2) are given one solution; and (3)come to a decision to give it a try. Step four is the first Step that requires any real work. This is the Step that will give us the information we need to attempt to correct our past errors and further improve our our lives spiritually. Thank you for being a part of my sobriety today.. Bill email: az-bill@mindspring.com


Member: Brian F
Location: Berwickshire, Scotland
Date: 12/29/2002
Time: 2:09:38 PM

Comments

My name is Brian, and I'm an alcoholic. Great topic Ray, whereabouts in Scotland are you? I also liked the add-on from Tarver, and the other shares. I never had any problems when I was drinking,everyone else was the problem, they all came to the fore when I stopped, or came too! But it din't laast long and I'd be off again. It became really tough when I got to AA, cos in the past I could always stop, cos I was always going to start agaain. So the first part of living without booxe, was learning how to not pick it up. I heard at my first meeting, "if you don't pick up the first drink you can't get drunk" that became my mantra. I stayed close to people who weren't drinking, I wouldn't go into town when the pubs were open, I wouldn't go down the drinks isles in supermarkets (still don't). I stayed at my sponsors house during "shakey" spells. I didn't pick up that first drink. Then I realised the mess my life was in, family,financial, work, Brian. Looking over the first five years of recovery I feel I've been clearing the wreakage of 20 years of drinking. I realised the effects it has had on myself and others. I took inventory on the people I'd harmed, made amends where doing so would not injure them or others, learning along the way that I am one of those "others". In the 18 months since that 5th birthday, I feel I've been dealing with the things that troubled me before I picked up a drink at 16 years of age. The hideous four horsemen of "Terror, bewilderment,frustration and dispair" BBp151, were present way before the booze,so was lonliness. I have worked the 12 steps on my family relationships, my working life to date, my sexual relationships, my fanancial affairs and most recently, the number of times I've moved house. I've shared this with God and the appropriate person in each case, including my sponsor, the bank manager, my counsellor, ex girlfriends. I still find it difficult and painful at times, but each time I am brought through another piece of life without alcohol my faith grows. I believe God will give me each situation in my past life back again, and sometimes again, until I am able to deal with it healthily. That for me is the essence of coping without booze, to do this I need other people, to share with.Just now the thing I'm trying to dael with is my own boredom. I craved excitement for so long, now I have peace, I'm learning it's OK to be bored every now and then. So thanks for being there, keep coming back. Brian@finnie0696.freeserve.co.uk


Member: John H
Location: Indiana, USA
Date: 12/29/2002
Time: 4:58:01 PM

Comments

John here, an alcoholic grateful for the AA program. So grateful that i make the following resolutions for 2003 in order to cope with booze and to assure another year of continous sobriety a day at a time. 1.Avoid taking up a first drink. 2.Have faith in a Higher Power. 3 Believe in God's will, not mine is the solution of my problems. 4.Continue a daily inventory of thoughts, sayings and actions. 5 Stay in touch with my sponsor. 6.Turn my defects over to God and ask him for corrective action. 7.Correct shortcomings the same as defects. 8.Continue a record of listing those offended since being sober. 9.Make amends to such people as soon as possible. 10.When I make a mistake, honestly and promptly admit it. 11.Daily stay in constant contact with God thru prayer and meditation. 12.With a growing spirituality by addressing the above, aid other alcoholics and practice the wise principles as set in the concrete of Alcoholics Anonymous. May you all prosper 2003 with the good health and joy to be derived from sobriety!


Member: Lessa E
Location: Chicago
Date: 12/29/2002
Time: 5:06:01 PM

Comments

Lessa E here, grateful recovering alcoholic. Thanks for the topic, Ray. I had always thought IF I could just stop drinking, well, life would get to be the 'happy-ending movie' it was supposed to be. Only when I stopped drinking, I began feeling, both good things and bad. And then I'd start drinking again....eventually. For this drunk, simply 'putting the plug in the jug' did not enable me to cope. Or, as is a popular saying I hear around the table, "to live life on life's terms." What stopped the vicious cycle was hitting a low so low that I was willing to 'go to any lengths'. I was willing to work - really work the steps with a wonderful sponsor who 'gets it'. What's happened this time is the rigorous honesty that it takes to not just stop drinking, but to 'practice the principles in all of our affairs'. And THAT is what has led to some measure of serenity and peace. The simple cessation of drinking was only the beginning. And, to tell you the truth, if I'd known what I had to go through the last couple of years, just to cope, I'd probably have started drinking again. The miracle of the program is that by working the steps, with help from God, I've been able to change. And, ODAAT, I haven't HAD to drink. Lessa_e@hotmail.com


Member: Carol B.
Location: Nevada
Date: 12/29/2002
Time: 7:01:51 PM

Comments

Carol, Alcoholic. Happy Holidays all. Your shares on here are so to the point. No BS here. >>The miracle of the program is that by working the steps, with help from God, I've been able to change. And, ODAAT, I haven't HAD to drink.<< Thanks Lessa, There is a coping ability we receive that is actually the accumulation of the principals we have in our lives as a result of the painstaking surrender we undergo while working a program of recovery. It doesn't come easy but it's really rather simple. We are the one's who complicate our lives, all by ourselves. God,as I understand Him, has not shown His will to be anything other than the easier softer way for a continuous joyful life.


Member: Steve F
Location: W-MA
Date: 12/29/2002
Time: 10:38:40 PM

Comments

Hi All, Steve, Alcoholic. Thanks for the topic, Ray. The first thing that came to my mind was the slogans we see hanging on the walls at meetings, "One Day at a Time", "Think", "Keep It Simple" and all the others. I don't know about everybody else, but when I first saw those slogans I thought they were as lame and corny as anything I'd ever read. Goes to show you where my head was. I was a meeting critic, too. Anyway, as time went by I slowly incorporated the slogans into my daily living. But more than anything, I believe, it is by opening up and letting others in that I am best able to cope with life. If something is bothering me I have to let it out. Sometimes, I just have to hear myself say something to realize that my fears are unfounded. That used to happen to me, often, when I was really new. The committee in my head would be going nuts for days and when I'd finally call my sponsor and put my fears into words I'd realize they were groundless. It was like when the light was turned on when I was a kid and that ghost was just a shirt hanging in the closet. I kind of went off on a tangent, there. Some fears are very real and life happens. However, I think opening up and sharing my problems is the best way to cope with them. I tried going it alone for a long time and all that ever got me was drunk. I like that saying, "troubles shared are halved and joys shared are doubled" (or something like that). Well, thanks for letting me share. As I've already shared in the "Coffee Pot" I'm going to have titanium cages implanted between three of my lumbar vertebrae in about twelve hours and they're going in through my abdomen. I'll be like the Scarecrow in the "Wizard of OZ". "Well, first they took my stomach and threw it over there...." I am kind of nervous and I find that humor helps me to cope with stuff, too. Take care.


Member: David H
Location: Nashville,TN
Date: 12/29/2002
Time: 11:50:18 PM

Comments

David H alcoholic not much I can ad. I can only repeat, THE STEPS are the solution


Member: kimberley
Location: woodland washington
Date: 12/29/2002
Time: 11:53:29 PM

Comments

kimberley here alcholic. thanks to all of you for your shares its helps me soo much, .


Member: Eddie C
Location: Northville, MI
Date: 12/30/2002
Time: 12:43:31 AM

Comments

My name is Ed and I'm recovering addict. Even though alcohol is not my drug of choice, I'm not a normal drinker. I've been around drugs all my life, and it just seemed that's route I' chose for myself for over ten years. I've always told myself I was in control from the start of my using, but my addiction has grown to be more importment than faceing my day to day requirements with work, and relationships, and peace of mind. I am a very luck person for many reasons. I have a great job, family and friends, but my own destructive habbits has eventually brought me to the point where I've become emotionally and spirtally lost. I want to become the person I was before my using of drugs. My botton has put me in a state of mind where I feel dead set on keeping clean, althought my cravings has brought me back to square one on occation. This recovery thing is really messing with my body, social life, and mind. I just want to say even though I haven't lead a "perfect" recovery, this A.A. program has gave me a great incentive to lead a sober life. To all new commers in A.A. let your gaurd down and open yourself to a high power to help lead you to soberity. I've realized my higher power is my meetings. All this comming from a true sceptic, I've never felt I belonged anywhere until I started A.A. I've never in my life felt more at ease talking with compleate stranger about my personal habits, but come to realize most A.A. members can relate in some way shape or form to addiction. I just want to let those who want to get sober life is much better on the other side. Thank God! Thanks, Ed


Member: Chris T
Location: San Diego,Ca
Date: 12/30/2002
Time: 1:34:06 AM

Comments

My name is Chris and I am an alcoholic. When I can't cope it is because i am afraid. Fear is what stops me from recognizing my shortcomings. Courage to do God's will is the solution to my problems. If I live in my will, I live in my head and in my fear. His gifts far exceed anything I could wish for myself. Isn't it ironic that the more I surrender the better my life becomes. When I take action to change, my problems change too. Sometimes I am willing and sometimes I have to be dragged. Thankfully, I have a life out of the darkness. Miracles do happen.


Member: AnilG
Location: MtVernon,IL
Date: 12/30/2002
Time: 9:03:20 AM

Comments

I am an alcholic and an addict " coping without booze" was not easy intialy after years of drinking I was in shock went cold turkey for weeks could not sleep I thought I will die.then came along the path of spirituality and AA. thanks to GOD for giving me another chance,life and peace.Now each day is better.and Coping is easiar. thanks to aa.


Member: Randy E
Location: Ghana, West Africa
Date: 12/30/2002
Time: 11:39:11 AM

Comments

Thanks to webb sites like this, comments from people like you, and AA all over the World my coping without booze gets better day by day. I am in a area of a Country at present that does not have AA Meetings, thanks everyone. As long as I stay focused on the solution of this disease, 12 STEPS, it is working for me. I faught this thing for 35 years out there with those Earth people, Im finally grateful to be an Alcoholic.


Member: Leland
Location: Santa Barbara
Date: 12/30/2002
Time: 11:39:52 AM

Comments

Leland, alcoholic. This topic seems somewhat bland... coping without booze. I mean I've found a new freedom and new tools to live a life. Before the program and the steps, there was ONLY coping. With my uncontrollable emotional nature and dis-ease, what else was there but just getting by or hanging on. Hey, I'm not belittling or minimizing anyone's experience. In my first 6 mos, and times between then and now, I've had to just cope. But the reality is at about 4 mos of sobriety the obsession was removed because of working the steps, or so I believe from working the steps. Why settle for coping when the solution is there for the taking? Of course, my expections of my results might taint the actual outcome, but if I just surrender to the program and to a higher power (any one I want which is pretty darn cool) then I've found a new way to live my life without alcohol. By the way, just between you and I, when times are tough and I'm coping I up my meeting count, clean up after a face-to-face meeting (you know- put away chairs and wash cups, etc) and work the steps on a daily basis. Happy New Year to ALL!


Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: 12/30/2002
Time: 12:06:39 PM

Comments

Great topic Ray, Iíve read a lot of good information here. Alcohol and drugs were the only way I knew how to cope. My mother fed me Valium and Librium as early as I can remember. After all ďit was medicineĒ, though it was prescribed only for her and she behaved addictively around it. I learned from a very early age that I didnít have to cope with any uncomfortable feelings; there was always something out there I could take which would numb me. Unfortunately I reached a point when there was no more refuge; only drug/alcohol sickness. I thought I had coped fairly well until that started. In the end I couldnít live with alcohol and I got very sick without it. Believe me I didnít wake up to this notion one day. I battled King alcohol many years, depressed and hopeless. Today I wake up with immense gratitude, that I donít have to do that any longer. I feel an indescribable Joy most of the time. Early on in sobriety, I had days where I curled up in my bed, unshaven, depressed and fearful, but I knew where the alcohol would take me. It was in that darkness where I first started letting go. Today I know I have no life without recovery and if I take care of that part, the rest seems to fall into place. When I start feeling overwhelmed, many of the AA sayings come to mind. As time passes I have experienced that I can rely on my higher power in everything. My struggle is optional.


Member: L.W.R
Location: Canada
Date: 12/30/2002
Time: 12:24:40 PM

Comments

"Most good ideas are simple. And yes i have complicated things, to no end.. big long stories and "confabulations. And what was the pay off?.. talk talk talk talk talk. it is pretty plain to me now that all it was, was a way of subltle justification" for all kinds of "crazy and damaging conduct" Yes i to could justify the most arrid nonsense on the face of the earth. No humility. No God. and definately no peace of mind. looking back on it now, i would have been better off to just flat out admitt "I'm not ready to change" or "I don't get it" Or "I want to hang on to this still" etc. etc. I have learned through the steps and the fellowship, that anytime things are looking a little to complicated, or i got a big long story happenin, then i'm probably bs'n again. Thank God for simplicity. And is it easy? That's up to me.


Member: Stan M
Location: Wisconsin
Date: 12/30/2002
Time: 12:38:41 PM

Comments

Hi everybody, my name is Stan and I am an alcoholic. When I first became sober, I was forced to go to AA by the treatment program that I was in. At first I went only because I had to. After a while, I started to go to meetings because I wanted to. The treatment program gave me the tools to cope with sobriety-threatening situations, but it is AA and God who are keeping me sober. There are several ways that I cope with stressful situations. I say the Serenity Prayer frequently, and that helps to remind me, that there are many things that I cannot change and therefore I have to accept them. That realization allows me to overcome situations, that under normal circumstances would cause me to get drunk. I have also learned to live one day at a time and my favorite saying is "This too shall pass" and this helps to remind me that bad (or good) things will not last. This is a great program and I am glad that I am able to share today. I wish a happy and sober New Year to all aour members.


Member: Dave H
Location: Madison Wisconsin
Date: 12/30/2002
Time: 1:20:50 PM

Comments

Tarver, Becoming aware of who I had become is certainly a process. Financial responsibility is a big one. For me, I have to take it easy on myself and not let misuse of pride get in the way. The tendency for me to say, "how in world could "I" "I" "I" do that and then get emotionally drunk and overwhelmed can set-in very quickly. I ask for help in many of the areas that I am becoming aware of. I don't have to work recovery by myself. I can seek out guidence from people who I see walk-the-walk in specific areas such as finances or anger or lust or how about the stuff of life. Thanks for helping me today. Peace, Dave


Member: Tim M.
Location: Tennessee USA
Date: 12/30/2002
Time: 5:45:34 PM

Comments

The AA book "Living Sober" was a big help in the first days of sobriety. Someetimes I even had sense enough to stick around the rooms, talk to people before and after, and make a phone call to another AA when I was especially scared of a situation that was coming up. It worked. Now, however, the coping I have to do isn't about drinking (or at least not nearly as much), but about growing in recovery. As someone who is seeking spiritual progress, I know there will always be times when I have to face uncomfortable situations, because that's what's required to grow. I can wish it all came without any stress, but that's not how it works for me. It seems I have to learn the lesson of surrender repeatedly for various parts of my life as I attepmt to practice these principles in all my affairs. (Don't I wish I were doing that!) If something is causing me problems, some things that really help are to use the meeting to suggest a related topic. I'll ask other AAs how they handled similar situations. I'll talk to my sponsor about his experience. Frequently, this act of admitting my troubles humbles me in a way that right-sizes my ego and helps me see things with more clarity -- taking off my it's-all-about-me glasses. And I ask the Power greater than myself to show me what to do and give me the strength to do it. I also go back the Serenity Prayer A LOT. As I work on my recovery, I also have the experience of having survived previous stressful situations. I don't have the same urge to drink that I used to. My relationships within my family are improving. I'm less apt to spout off with anger and aggression. These are all good, good things, and they teach me that I can change with the help of AA and my higher power. I can have faith that things are going to work out again. And until they do, I can take a breath, ask for human and beyond-human help, keep out of my head, and wait. Impatiently, perhaps, but wait all the same. Thanks for letting me share, and thanks for all who have posted.


Member: Geri W
Location: Ohio
Date: 12/30/2002
Time: 7:32:25 PM

Comments

Hello. I'm Geri W, a very grateful alcoholic. At the end of my drinking career, I wasn't coping - even with all the booze I could keep down. So, sober had to be better - and gosh darn it, it is. I've experienced all the "firsts" - birthday, Christmas, New Years, weddings, births and deaths sober since I admitted that I had given alcohol control of my life and that my life was unmanagable. It is only because of my sobriety that anything else matters. The freedom is unbelievable - no longer do I have to plot and plan all my activities around the need to drink. The principles, steps and traditions of AA continue to save my life today. And the miracle happened for me - I no longer have to drink.


Member: Maria
Location: Delaware, USA
Date: 12/30/2002
Time: 11:58:11 PM

Comments

I'm Maria and I'm an alcoholic. Thanks to everyone; all of your comments have been very helpful. When I first entered AA, it was so hard to cope without alcohol at work, home, social situations, emotions. Over the years it's grown easier--but I still have one issue that I stuggle with. When that one problem arises, suddenly I get AA amnesia & everything I've learned is replaced with fear. Thanks to you all I've been reminded to work the steps, read the serenity prayer a lot, let God's will--not mine--be done, & most importantly to take it one day at a time. As they say, I was looking so far down the street that I almost fell off the curb! Your fellowship gives me the courage to get on my best AA horse, & ride into my worst fear. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Jeff T.
Location: Ne.
Date: 12/31/2002
Time: 12:35:18 AM

Comments

Jeff, alcoholic. "Coping w/out booze" I like others feel that when i was new to AA yes coping without was hard. What was i going to do with my life now that i cant or dont drink? What do i do now, where should i go? How will i live now that my life does not center around alcohol? These & many other questions flooded my mind. Yes coping was difficult then but after many 4th steps, meetings, & talks with my sponcer. We found answers to these questions & many more things about me that i was not aware of. Working the step`s has given me many freedoms & answers that i can never repay. A feeling that i`m ok with me & the rest of the people in my life was not easy to get it took alot of work to get the serenity that i have today, somedays i`m not so serene but most days are great, this i would never trade for my old life. Early on i guess you could call it "white knuckle" sobriety, i didnt plan on staying in AA i was going to stay in long enought to get everyone off my back then things could get back to normal. Now that was an alcoholic mind at work HUH? AA tought me to cope with life on life`s terms not to fight or struggle but to live my life just for today. No matter what happens if i can just make it thru today maybe tomarrow will be better. I can cope with that! Looking back it can only be a mircle that i`m sober & alive today. On the days that i do struggle, if i do something to get me out of my own mind i`m better off. If i reach out, the hand of AA is always there to help. Funny thing about AA people we care about each other, drunk or sober. Thanks for listening Jeff


Member: Bob S.
Location: Salt Lake City
Date: 12/31/2002
Time: 12:52:22 AM

Comments

Thanks, Ray. Hi everyone, Bob here and I'm an alcoholic. As strange as it may sound, "living without booze" was such a relief for me early on. I had no idea it was possible and when I saw there were so many people doing it, I was relieved beyond words. I got such relief finding out that there was actually something that could be done to not drink, and to breathe in and out. At the same time, I had no clue how they were doing it, so I just kept going to where they were, doing what they did, and started, little by slowly, getting what they had, and that's what I wanted. It hasen't changed much from that outline either. I was told early on that there was only 1 Step I needed to do perfectly, and I could do that a day at a time. And that's the way it's been, doing that Step 1 perfectly. Not much else in my recovery has been anything like perfect, and apparently doesn't need to be. I wasen't afraid of dying when I got here. I was afraid of living but too chicken shit to do anything about it...except drink. Getting back into a belief in G~d rather than booze and self-will, has been a slow and evolving process, but the key to my sobriety and recovery. I have gotten most of this by doing the steps, especially 4-12. As nearly as I can tell, that's an exercise that does not stop...unless I want to plan on drinking again. Today, I can't imagine not "living without booze". Thanks for letting me share what has worked for me. Wishing all of us a happy and sober New Year, one day at a time. Hugs, Bob


Member: Jeff S.
Location: Davenport, Iowa
Date: 12/31/2002
Time: 3:20:46 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Jeff, grateful alcoholic since March 13, 1984 by the grace of God and all of you. Many good things said in this meeting, I especially appreciated what Lessa had to say. I agree, simply not drinking was not enough for me, either. For me, at some point I realized that I would have to begin changing all kinds of things, to "practice the principles of this program in all the affairs of my life". And so I understood, slowly, that recovery for me was what was happening OUTSIDE of the room -- my marriage, my job, my relationships with people, places and things. When I did that, I began to see the promises of pages 83 and 84 materializing in my life. What a fantastic ride it has been. Today I'm able to be so much more than just someone who "doesn't drink" -- I'm a father, a husband, a son, a brother, a responsible and productive member of society. And though I never forget that I am an alcoholic, I'm free now to be all the other things I believe God has intended me to be, as well. I've learned to cope with not drinking, by focusing on and being grateful for all the things in my life I've gained by staying sober. I love all of you, and thank you for keeping me sober another day. ; )


Member: Landscape Ray
Location: Scotland
Date: 12/31/2002
Time: 7:08:46 AM

Comments

Hi Ray here just a comment what in the BEGINING i found it hard until i got a sponser and got on the program, i was thinking of the newcomer who is full of fear and cant see life without booze, what Jeff F shared was great he said that outside the rooms he also had to recover and cope with life i have been on this program for 16 years and i still have to cope with life i have the program and the fellowship, but i can remember when i was a newcomer and lost and how people shook my hand and called me Ray I beleve that love and understanding helped me survive the first months until i got my thinking to-gether, and to-day i cope without drinking and life is better.sometimes I forget how alone I was when we came to the fellowship, the road we take is the same, have a happy new year regards Ray .


Member: elizabeth m
Location: canada
Date: 12/31/2002
Time: 10:08:07 AM

Comments

I know what I am and I am terribly AFRAID. I know I need help... been to AA before.... never stuck with it. I wish someone would write me back. I cannot go to a meeting as I suffer from panic attacks (long before touching alcohol). I am depressed.. sad, lonely.... but otherwise "healthy??". .... SO FAR. I have a feeling that is about to change if I don't reach out and if someone does not respond. PLEASE.... SOMEONE RESPOND. EMAIL IS cer_bird@yahoo.com name is Elizabeth... THANK YOU.


Member: pat m.
Location: east coast
Date: 12/31/2002
Time: 11:36:49 AM

Comments

I'm right there with ya Elizabeth, this is my 2nd new years eve without the "big deceptor" (alcohol). I'm debating whether to go to a relatives party tonight. I'm a stay at home mom with a touch of agoraphobic, and I also have panic attacts, that alcohol use to fix. Now I'm trying to get over my shyness without meds. or alcohol. I'm trying to learn how to have fun, but I'm just too shy and socially imature. People seem to laugh and be quick witted but I just stand there with nothing to say. But hang in there cause all these feelings are just feelings, and feeling is better than being dead. Thats definitly what would happen if I ever drank again. The best book in the world (and I've read hundreds of self help books) is " The Heart Of The Soul" by Gary Zukav as seen on Ophra. I would not be able to function today if I didn't read his book and ably his princibles. Good Luck!


Member: Joy S.
Location: Charleston,SC
Date: 12/31/2002
Time: 1:25:40 PM

Comments

I have read alot of good stuff in here. Will be at 2 yrs on Jan. 18. The holidays were always difficult for me, and this year was the best Christmas I've ever had. Family issues don't seem to get to me the way they used to and I know thats because of the step work I've done that let me see it all clear and practicing acceptance and allowing myself to feel what I feel, without putting everyone else before me. I always suffered with feeings of inadequacy and booze was my way of coping with insecurity and that terrible feeling that I just wasn't good enough. Without alcohol, it's getting easier (most days-haha- I am sure some of you understand that!)to accept myself and to feel love for others who suffer.Every once and again I like to go back to the "How it works" Big Book chapter and just read it again. It is the path and it reminds me I'm capable if I'm honest and willing. Sometimes when I'm impatient for change it reminds me too of how far God and this program have brought me- so far.From Living Sober to all of my brothers and sisters as we face a big drunk holiday "Remember there are hundreds of thousands of us now recovered from alcoholism who are on your side and understand perfectly what you are undergoing and why you do it, even if no one else seems to.Even if we are not present,in our hearts we are with you, and you can assure yourself that you have our very good wishes".Pg.69 Be Safe!


Member: jennifer d
Location: sobriety :-]
Date: 12/31/2002
Time: 1:44:40 PM

Comments

Stay with us Elizabeth , this is a great site. Panic attacks are rotten things and I think contribute a lot to putting us on the " alcoholic road ". Happy New Year everyone ! This is the first year in five sober that I have had alcohol in the house for guests. It doesn't bother me a bit to see them drink. But it has taken five years to come this far. My life is so full of other things now , I wouldn't ever risk losing it all to another drink. Hey , it amazes me how many people prefer my non - alcohol stuff !!!


Member: Bob
Location: From God's Country
Date: 12/31/2002
Time: 4:28:38 PM

Comments

Bob, alcoholic. The topic at first baffled me because in essence it asks us "how do we cope without pain"? that is what booze and drugs were for me..always. So how do I cope without it you ask? With a big smile on my face thank you !! This is thanks to AA and a God I didn't think existed.


Member: Mark Mac
Location: Baja, Mexico
Date: 12/31/2002
Time: 5:30:27 PM

Comments


Member: Mark Mac
Location: Baja, Mexico
Date: 12/31/2002
Time: 5:41:58 PM

Comments

Mark Alcoholic here. Sorry if my first attempt to post was blank. First time trying this. Coping without booze was pretty scary at first. Down here no matter what excuse or reason you give someone always has an answer as to why booze will help! They think that booze cures EVERYTHING, cancer, ulcers, back problems, sunburn, you name it! My first sober New Years eve party was one that I had dreaded. This was letting my FEAR rule me and not Trusting in my higher power. Once at the party I found that just holding a soft drink in a glass was more than suffecient. Others only cared that there was enough for them, not what I was consuming. There are very few places where we can hide from alcohol. The point is that with this simple program we no longer have to hide from it or anything for that matter. I will be here until April and then return to the USA. I want to thank everyone for this great site!


Member: Kathleen
Location: Florida
Date: 12/31/2002
Time: 8:23:26 PM

Comments

Hi everyone, Kathleen here alcoholic. Good topic. When I first came to AA I didn't know anything about coping. My whole life revolved around alcohol and I had no idea how to live without it. Thank heavens my sponser was one that drug me to 2 and 3 meetings a day every day for a long time and helped guide me through the steps. It took a while for the fog to lift so I just kept going to meetings, hung out after the meetings with my sponser and other AA ers and just didn't drink. The steps taught me the coping skills I need in order to live life today without alcohol. Thank you all for your posts. Happy New Year to everyone.


Member: Mike W.
Location: Hillsdale, Mi. USA
Date: 1/1/2003
Time: 12:30:03 AM

Comments

Hey Family God Bless You And Enjoy The NEW YEAR That Is Here For us All !!! Thankyou for being a part of my new life !!! Mike W. plumbfitter2000@yahoo.com


Member: AB
Location:
Date: 1/1/2003
Time: 12:40:03 PM

Comments

(((Elizabeth))), hang in there. I'm only 13 days sober, and have never been more grateful in my life. My short duration makes me inept to give advice about long-term coping, but ,my hugs to your are just as strong as anyones There is lots of great coping advice on this site, take it to heart.


Member: Kelly M
Location: New Hampshire
Date: 1/1/2003
Time: 3:13:05 PM

Comments

Happy New Year Everyone!!! 2003 is here and I want to enjoy every minute of it. I'm 3 months sober and still learning how to live without a drink. I just keep reminding myself of how grateful I am, and I am very grateful. I had a wonderful New Years. No Limo, champagne, little black dress, endless clubs, yelling in the New Year with a bunch of drunks in a bar. It is much better now. I bundled up and went to a First Night Celebration in a local town, hit an alcothon then was invited to a midnight Church service and breakfast at a friends Baptist Church. I rang in the new year with my head in my hands praying and singing for God to give me a clean heart. Talk about a spiritual moment. It was awesome. It is all about getting clean and sober. It's all about doing the next right thing over and over until it becomes natural. I want to get it right and with the grace of God I will. Out with the old and in with the new! Thanks for keeping me sober one more day.....Kelly


Member: Marv L
Location: Laurel,Ms
Date: 1/1/2003
Time: 4:04:21 PM

Comments

Hi! Happy New YEar,everyone! Marv L, alcoholic,and whatta great mornin" to wake up and realize it aint a hostile world! Thank you for all your help!I"m glad to have met some of ya as we trudge the road to a happy destiny,keep coming back!


Member: Marla E.
Location: New york
Date: 1/1/2003
Time: 4:46:03 PM

Comments


Member: Marla E.
Location: New york
Date: 1/1/2003
Time: 4:55:09 PM

Comments

Hey, everybody! This is my first time on this site. Great topic. I have had panic attacks and they have been really scary. One great thing about AA is that I don't feel like people are judging me. I can actually approach people and tell them that my heart is jumping out of my chest and ask for help I can get support and walk through life without being alone. All I need to do is reach out. That sounds so simple . I need to keep it simple because my first reaction to things is to actually make things complicated. Sorry for rambling-Marla E.


Member: Rebecca
Location: Upstate New York
Date: 1/1/2003
Time: 6:45:41 PM

Comments

My name is Rebecca, and I'm an alcoholic and an addict. This topic is pretty much perfect for me. I graduated from a boarding school which is based on the twelve steps last month and since i left the school i have had to do a lot of coping. I was surrounded by friends of Bill for 3 years around the clock and now i am not. It was kind of a culture shock. Life has been good so far, but it has been very different from what i am used to. I have found myself not wanting to go to meetings, but i go anyway and you know what? Everytime i go and share i am so grateful for that meeting. Being around people who understand me and who won't judge me is a definite tool to use when trying tocope with life. This place is great (especially when icy roads keep you from a face to face meeting).


Member: Mark C.
Location: NYC
Date: 1/1/2003
Time: 10:54:18 PM

Comments

Mark here, alcoholic in NYC. Coping with things sober is half the battle. I haven't found any silver bullets in the past two years, but I think I have tackled things a bit more sensibly than I did when I was drunk. I often use a system called REBT that I learned at www.smartrecovery.org to deal with stress. Just talking to other sober alcoholics helps to diffuse things too. I got sober with this on-line group, but I mostly hang with another one at www.unhooked.com. Nobody's life is stress free, but life is certainly a lot less stressful now that I'm sober. Thank you for that, cyber friends.


Member: donna
Location: east coast
Date: 1/1/2003
Time: 11:30:23 PM

Comments

Hi all and happy new year! i am donna, and I am an alcoholic. i too am fearful of going back to meetings mainly because i am afraid that someone will recognize me. but i will definately be looking for one tomorrow during the day so that i can stay sober for one more day. Life for me at this point is hard and i know now for sure that i am powerless over alcohol and even though i do not drink everyday, i can easily drink the night away. The discussion was coping and i think that i really need and want to cope with life and problems sober from 2 days ago-one day at a time. Also, I have a question, when does one start step meetings and should you correspond mainly with people of the same sex (such as for a sponsor)? thanks for listening.


Member: Tarver
Location: Toronto, Canada
Date: 1/2/2003
Time: 12:21:21 AM

Comments

I am an alcoholic thirty-six years old, male, married, just over one year in AA, and four and a half months sober. Meetings help me cope, but because I live in the largest city in the country, I have access to more meetings than I could get to in a year. I have been thinking about the situation of Elizabeth and other people in remoter areas and the aspects of my own experience that might be helpful. If you haven't already done so, get your hands on a copy of the Big Book, _Alcoholics Anonymous_. Read it. Not only will it be directly helpful to you, it will give you all kinds of things to talk about with other alcoholics, either in person or over the 'Net. I have found this to be the case -- the more I go back to the Big Book, the more it rings true. If at all possible, meet real live people, other alcoholics in your area. They will be extremely glad to see you because helping you will help them. Whenever I have the privilege of speaking to a newcomer about AA, my sobriety is greatly strengthened. Believe it or not, you will actually be helping others just by showing up. Don't try to do it alone. I concluded that I didn't need AA to stay sober in the spring of last year and I was drinking within weeks, and drunk again within months. I need sobriety to stay sane, and I need AA to stay sober. If you are in a truly isolated area, call or write or email the main AA office. There is some kind of support for AA people who are too dispersed to get to meetings, although I have never needed it myself. You may be able to go to treatment. I went to Renascent, which you can find out about at www.cleanandsober.com. It is kind of like AA on steroids. Don't beat yourself up if you do slip -- Keep Coming Back is an extremely important slogan. If you are an alcoholic like me, it is best to stop drinking absolutely and right away. But if you do drink some more like I did, the increased awareness of how much damage it actually caused in my life helped me build up my commitment to my recovery to a sustainable level. Get proper medical support for your anxiety disorder. I have been getting treatment from a psychiatrist for mine, and in parallel with AA, I have been getting better. When I drank, however, I became very depressed and suicidal. Extremely unpleasant!! If you are worried about what people will think (as we all are to some extent), you can do what I do and tell people that you can't drink any more because you have an anxiety disorder which drinking makes worse or even causes. If you get some medication, then the odds are you won't be able to drink with the meds anyway. You don't have to tell people that you are an alcoholic, but you can play up the somewhat exotic anxiety disorder and "blame" everything on it. Just make sure that in your own mind you are straight on your own alcoholism and that you work the twelve steps as best as you can either on your own (hard) or with some local group (MUCH easier). AA is an anonymous program, and you should feel free to respect your own anonymity. Don't worry too much about feeling better. That will come in time, or it won't... there is nothing you can do about it directly. Do focus on feeling THAT you are feeling, and then feeling WHAT you are feeling. This is very hard at first without alcohol -- in fact, it FEELS impossible for a while -- especially without a lot of help and support, like the twelve steps. Once you get the hang of it, you will probably find that you do wind up feeling better, but that will be a kind of side effect. Remember, feelings won't kill you, they only feel like they will. Last night my wife and I spent a very pleasant and sober New Year's Eve at home with our little three-year-old boy, and he seemed to be just getting over his cold. Today, we spent the day with him in the hospital on oxygen and I-V antibiotics for pneumonia. I coped just fine, although I ducked out at noon to get to a meeting, where I ran into my sponsor, who helped me get grounded. I was able to spend some really first-class time with my sick son, sharing my serenity with him. I could see my serenity measured on his heart and breathing monitor! If I were to describe what I did to become able to cope in this way, a big part of the answer would boil down to "don't drink, go to meetings, get a sponsor." I am amazed and very grateful for how effective the AA program is.


Member: Dan M
Location: Ashcamp, Ky
Date: 1/2/2003
Time: 12:34:59 AM

Comments

First time online for me. I'm Dan an acoholic. I just read about being affraid to go into a meeting. When I returned home from treatment I was told. "Don't wait" Well I waited, and waited, until I was lying on the floor in a sleeping bag in my empty house. I was scared to death. I did manage to go to a meeting. Felt out of place at first, but soon realized I was in the right place after the second or third cry. Someone told me they would love me until I loved myself. I have been around only a short two years and, the one thing I know with out a doubt is that GOING TO MEETINGS SAVED MY LIFE!! Everyone is different,but for me a few missed meetings and I'm back to Dan the terrible. I do Love this place and everyone in it!


Member: friend of billw
Location: philly
Date: 1/2/2003
Time: 1:27:40 AM

Comments

coping with the first drink great topic for myself I keep it really simple with a couple things like when I wake up in the morning turning my will over and my life over tomy higher power. Helping another suffering alcohlic and make a mtg. and thank him at night .. I have to remember I don't drink on the truth. I only drink on a lie... Of course if my way was so good then why the hell I'm I in aa. thats how simple I keep for myself.. And to thine own self be true.....Open the basic text up and read forewards to 164 and like bill puts try some controled drinking see ya if you make it back ... all answers bill and bob layed them out in the order that we can't mess them up... thank god for AA. Thank God for bills and bobs friend thank to all and keep it simple.. GOD BLESS!!!!


Member: Shirley T
Location: New Zealand
Date: 1/2/2003
Time: 5:27:40 AM

Comments

A happy and sober new year to you all. The best coper for me in the beginning was taking the first step. Until then I couldn't stay sober. It isn't easy and my heart goes out to all who are starting this wonderful journey. Follow the Big Book and things will slowly change. For those struggling with fear about going to their first meeting or coming back - just do it. Nothing bad will happen and you will be given all the support you need. This site is great for me but nothing can replace the personal contact I get at meetings. That is where I learnt to live sober. When I was drinking I had great anxieties and suffered from agoraphobia but have none of that now so that was another gift of sobriety. I walk daily with my loving God - well most of the time and life is good. Thank you all for your sharing. Be happy.


Member: Laurie K.
Location:
Date: 1/2/2003
Time: 10:34:27 AM

Comments

So glad to see the back end of that year! Seven more 24-hour periods and I will have made it two years without the bottle. I don't have any guarantees that I will make it - other than this: I give each day over to my creator when I awaken, take it back several times a day, and give thanks that I have a program for living before I go to sleep. I'm still a screw-up, the insanity noted in step two is still part of my life, but I am no longer without conscience. I can take responsibility for the part I play - and have a clean slate each morning. As a friend of mine states after each meeting: "Thank you all for your sobriety - for without yours, I would not have mine."


Member: Kathy G
Location: Northeast
Date: 1/2/2003
Time: 12:50:08 PM

Comments

Hi My name is Kathy, I'm an alcoholic, I need to share because I have not been at face to face meetings in over a week. And that is my only coping skill. Thank God for meetings!!


Member: SD
Location: midwest
Date: 1/2/2003
Time: 3:02:30 PM

Comments

I am an alcoholic, which means I have the disease of alcoholism. It effects me mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. After being sober / in AA for a while, I realized that coping with every day situations/ problems that would arise, my problem solving tools were worthless. I suspect growing up in an alcoholic home didnít help as my parents were more interested in drinking than passing their knowledge on how to cope with life. This may have been a Godsend for me because I didnít have to throw out too many old ideas for I had zip. I was like a field that had been recently plowed - booze wiped it clean. I was eager to learn how to cope with life / its lemons without swallowing alcohol, and I am still eager to this day. For you see, my HP adds the much needed nutrients, AA provides the tools and methods; and with our hoes (yours/mine) what used to be a problem is no longer such. Iím full of gratitude for showing me a new way of living life without drowning. Thank you!


Member: Marina P.
Location: Clinton Twp.,Mi.
Date: 1/2/2003
Time: 6:28:29 PM

Comments

A Happy and blessed New Year to everyone! Marina P., grateful recovering alcoholic here. First, to Steve F. I hope this finds you well. Coping without booze was hard for me at first. I had spent so much time drinking and then trying to get over my hang-overs I didn't have much time for anything else. Now, by God's grace and my meetings, I have plenty of time open. What to do with it? Why, SERVICE WORK, of course! I owe so much to so many for things I did when I was a drunk, and thank God I have a chance to give back. The busier I keep, the better I feel about myself and my sobriety. And maybe I can give to another alcoholic what my sponsor and A.A. friends have given me. A second chance!


Member: Pam D
Location: new apartment, Orange Co., CA
Date: 1/2/2003
Time: 7:03:10 PM

Comments

Coping without drugs or alcohol was what worried me in the early days of my sobriety. How in the world could I face THE REST OF MY LIFE without anything to cover those 'rough spots'? Well, 12 step programs gave me One Day at a Time, and I had my first coping skill. Then, I worked with others - becoming a productive member of society became a realizable goal. A day at a time, I have learned to walk through things that used to baffle me - like getting a 'real' job, finishing college - and things I never dreamed I'd be able to do - get married, have a baby, survive post partum depression, and survive getting shot at and the crazy scared feelings of hopelessness that produced. Surviving any of it starts with 12 steps. And getting out of myself enough to reach my hand out to others. Sometimes to help someone else, sometimes to ask for help for myself. Having the humility to let God do her job... But it's all just my opinion...


Member: Dave G
Location: Seattle
Date: 1/2/2003
Time: 7:22:35 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Dave, alcoholic. I'm in the middle of taking back the management of my life this afternoon. I've been trying to find a better job and when I don't hear back from interviews I think everything is fckd. I have to beat my head that my HP is in charge and I don't really have to handle all this alone. "Easy Does It" is my slogan for tonight, so with that I'll go home. Keep coming back.


Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: 1/3/2003
Time: 9:58:41 AM

Comments

Welcome ((Marina P.)) - I just noticed you are from Clinton Twp. I live in Brighton and work in the Troy area. It's good to see people here from the same area. Thanks for being here and for helping to keep me sober today. Your right on target about service work! I have almost 8 months sobriety and service work has been a great strenthening agent for my recovery. I have made coffee for meetings and have opened meetings already. Somehow, being of service to other alcoholics has a powerful healing effect on us. I think it pleases God. Take care, and peace to you. Bill


Member: Tami B
Location: NH
Date: 1/3/2003
Time: 10:52:15 AM

Comments

Hi , Tami here. I have started this new year with some obstacles that in my drinking days would have made me full of fear and dismay. My ex husband wrote me a letter that he intends to 'slander' me at my employment, because of in 'his opinion' I'm an abusive, drunk, drug abuser, animal neglecting woman. I asked myself first of all "Thy will be done" and that in itself is all I need. This man cant hurt me anymore because he is still living in hate . Its amazing the amount of control I have simply given up.


Member: TOM
Location: SOUT HADLEY MA.
Date: 1/3/2003
Time: 11:10:52 AM

Comments

MY NAME IS TOM I AM A ALCOHOLIC COPING WITHOUT BOOZE IS A GOOD TOPIC BECAUSE I AM NOT DRINKIN NOT GOING TO MEETINGS AND NOT COPING WELL AT ALL IAM IN PAITENT IN TOLERENT SMALL STUFF SETS ME OFF I TAKE TO MUCH TO HEART AM FEARFULL BUT I HAVE NOT DRANK YET AS I GET CLOSER TO THE NEXT DRINK AND I KNOW I AM I FEEL THE ONLY HOPE IS TO SHARE WHAT I AM FEELING WITH NONJUDGEMENTEL SOULS WHO ALSO HAVE THIS MENTAL PHYSICAL AND SPIRETAL DISEASE MAYBE.


Member: Kirsty A
Location: Turkey
Date: 1/3/2003
Time: 12:48:02 PM

Comments

Hi Ray and Brian. I'm from Coatbridge but living in Turkey at the moment. Would be good to hear from you. oelsever@yahoo.com


Member: Dottie
Location: texas gal
Date: 1/3/2003
Time: 1:20:45 PM

Comments

I'm an alcoholic. I go to meetings because there is where I learn more about how to continue not to drink and how to enjoy life to its fullest. When I cannot get to meetings, I search the Internet for the winners in AA. "If I'm not walking towards a meeting, I am then walking towards a drink." How to cope with life without drinking: HP, steps/traditions, sponsor, slogans, living the moment, etc. Little by little it comes together. The one thing I do all the time (other than don't pick up the first drink of alcohol) is to continually have hope. God bless y'll!


Member: Peter W
Location: IN
Date: 1/3/2003
Time: 5:46:42 PM

Comments

hi, i learned early on that i don't have to cope. i never liked having to "cope" with anything. the promise of the steps as outlined in the BB and practiced as designed, allows me to be so much better than mere "coping". See, coping is too much like managing and that sells the program short - it was explained to me in the same way as the distinctive difference between "relief" (which i drank for and which by its very nature is temporary) and "freedom" which allows me to be rid of the trials and tribulations that block me. i am given a new mind and a new life and i don't have to cope and manage with that same tension and frustration as before. Its in the book!


Member: Linda N
Location: MA
Date: 1/3/2003
Time: 7:43:09 PM

Comments

Hi. Someone earler stated how long they had been in A.A. and then gave their length of sobriety. It struck me that is my way of coping. My name is Linda and I am an alcoholic. I have been a member of AA for three and a half years but only have three months sobriety. How do I cope??? I keep coming back. I envy those who GET IT the first time. For me this has been a long struggle... but I cope with this disease by staying close to AA. I love the fact I am always accepted and I truly believe that I never forget everything...this time I feel a real serenity. I do belong to 2 groups, a group therapy research program at a hospital near Boston, and I see a psychiatrist and a therapist. Coping for me really involves a lot... but I now have a job and a house...things I almost lost about two years ago. So AA has really helped me cope. Just keep coming. The best chance for success is how quickly you get back after a slip. Snowing like crazy here in Massachusetts. Nice to have some online discussion when you can't get out to a meeting. Another Coping Strategy!!


Member: Mark C
Location: OH
Date: 1/4/2003
Time: 12:38:17 PM

Comments

I was hoping to see a post like the one from Elizabeth. Now I know I'm not the only one. I've been sober for almost 5 weeks. I've only been to one meeting. I've been praying every morning and night and reading the BB everyday. It feels different, not drinking this time. It was a real nightmare quitting, worse than ever before. But on the second night I had some sort of spiritual experience. Really prayed, felt like a made contact. That feeling has slowly diminished since then. I've got crazy anxiety. But the funny thing is that I know it is really my pride that is keeping me from going to meetings. I don't want to let anyone really see how afraid I am and how desperate. I'm not going to drink today. I'm going to do it the only way I know how. I pray for courage and humility. I know I'll get the second one if I drink but I'm hoping there's another way. Thank you all for your posts. They help.


Member: hugh m
Location: alberta canada
Date: 1/4/2003
Time: 2:21:48 PM

Comments

good topic I cope and live without alcohol by going to face to face meetings talking with my sponser and reading my big book as is suggested as a road to recovery Elizabeth I too used to get panic attacks but I found out that others had as well when I should up at meetings please try to attend a few. Your friend in sobriety Hugh


Member: Bruce a
Location: crowsnest,pa
Date: 1/4/2003
Time: 2:32:14 PM

Comments

Hi , my name is bruce a. and i am an alcoholic. coping without booze is a good topic. Ijust remember how it was when I did drink. Dispair, bewilderment and terror.Today i go to meetings,thank God to be sober today, Ask Him for help and direction, read the Big book,read other spiritual material, talk to my sponsor and my sponsees, work the steps, and the love I have found here with others, lovr you all bruce a


Member: Karen
Location: Odessa,TX
Date: 1/4/2003
Time: 4:45:22 PM

Comments

I'm here. Looking for help. Really Scared.


Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: 1/4/2003
Time: 6:22:43 PM

Comments

Karen.. az-bill@mindspring.com


Member: Landscape Ray
Location: Scotland
Date: 1/4/2003
Time: 6:27:50 PM

Comments

Hi Karen dont be scared you are no longer alone try and phone a.a. in your phone book .dont lift the first drink Karen. lot of love Ray mclaren.landscapes@ntlworld.com


Member: Landscape Ray
Location: Scotland
Date: 1/4/2003
Time: 6:34:31 PM

Comments

hI KAREN you are NO LONGER ALONE please get A.A.phone no in your phone book and be safe dont lift the first drink lot of love RAY mclaren.landscapes@ntl.com


Member: baxter
Location: tucson, az
Date: 1/4/2003
Time: 6:36:11 PM

Comments

Karen....Baxter in AZ is here. baxter112961@yahoo.com


Member: Jules H.
Location: Iowa
Date: 1/4/2003
Time: 7:28:06 PM

Comments

Jules here, a grateful recovering alcoholic! Coping without alcohol is a good topic..... I drank for 22 years and didn't get sick over- night therefore I won't get well overnight either. And living without booze was all new to me, feeling the raw emotions that come to the surface, also I remember walking outside after the fog had begun to clear, seeing the sky, and clouds crisply and clearly for the first time since I can't remember and hearing the birds chirping loudly when I went outside, that alone was a spiritual experience!! I had bad anxiety at the end of my drinking, so everytime I had an anxiety attack, I'd get to a meeting, which was alot of meetings because I had constant anxiety..... The medical dr. gave me bu-spar and that worked for me in the beginning, then after getting a sponsor I slowly went off the pills and began working the steps, that's when the miracle came about for me! Elizabeth, you are not alone as you can see many of us experience panic or anxiety so I suggest you get a sponsor even if it's on-line for now or by snail-mail.. You can still work the steps that way,it doesn't have to be face to face, just one on one..............I will e-mail you hope I get through to you. And talk to other women too..........Thanks for letting me share, Jules the birds chirping and


Member: Susan S.
Location: West Michigan
Date: 1/4/2003
Time: 10:30:46 PM

Comments

"Coping without alcohol" was difficult and still is at times. However, I found that the tools of recovery help tremendously. These include going to AA meetings early, staying for the whole meeting and socializing after the meetings. These also include talking to my sponsor regularly and working the steps. I also do volunteer work at my church and would like to get involved with AA service work. I went to a very good meeting in Chicago today. He started with a lead and then comments. I learned that although the primary purpose for the group is to stay sober, that the real purpose for the individual AA member is to be of maximum service to God. This would require one to be sober. It was a very spiritual meeting and I personally believe that putting our trust in God is the best way to cope without alcohol.


Member: Dan G
Location: north cal.
Date: 1/4/2003
Time: 10:46:31 PM

Comments

Hi I am Dan greateful recovering alcoholic. Coping without drink, what a concept. Way above and beyond my thinking when I came to AA. I had no idea what or even whear to do anything. Everything I did was based on how alcohol could inhance or complicate the experiance.I had no idea you could go to a lake or baseball game without beer. This left me with an incredible fealing of bewilderment what do I do now? My early view of sobriety seemed pretty bleak. I mean everything I did involved drinking. And to top it all off all my immediate family were my drinking partners. So incredibly confused and lonely I steped into my first thirty days of sobriety. But much to my amazement I Met my first sponsor who like me was a fanatical fisherman. So salmon fishing became my new life. I eventually got back in touch with my family who learned to accept my sobriety and life goes on. Dan


Member: penny s
Location: australia
Date: 1/5/2003
Time: 8:17:48 AM

Comments

can't live with it can't live without it, that's what i used to think not true i am living without drink and coping with life on lifes terms. I enjoy my life today and the challenges it throws may way, to get to the other side of a problem, acutually take responsibility and deal with things instead of running away, to participate is a wonderful gift. I don't do it alone god and members in my hometown bendigo are there for me and are always willing to help or just listen, i take advantage of that whenever i feel the need and say a little prayer and find i can cope. all thanks to AA, meetings, members, and the man upstairs Penny S