Member: Glen H
Location: Tx
Remote Name: 4.62.113.73
Date: 28 Dec 2003
Time: 06:24 AM -0500
Step 12 tells us that we should "carry this message to alcoholics", but for me it's broader than that; the 12th step means to me that I should give something back to repay what was given to me. Thankfully, AA was there for me when I needed it and I feel that I should contribute something to insure that the doors of AA remain open for those that follow. How about "giving something back" or "service work" as a topic?
Member: perry
Location: stroudsburg pa
Remote Name: 24.238.91.191
Date: 28 Dec 2003
Time: 07:30 AM -0500
And practice these principals in all of my affairs....... did they mean ALL of my affairs? Wow! that includes all the other isms if I wish to stay sober? It's just been that way for me , anyway... kinda ties to rigorous honesty for me.
Member: Rarely
Location: Canada
Remote Name: 206.45.167.3
Date: 28 Dec 2003
Time: 08:19 AM -0500
My name is Ron and Im an alcoholic. Part of growing up as an orphan, shuffled from foster home to foster home, the lady of the house would some times say, " Theres the cookie jar help your self," All the other welfare kids would make a mad dash for the jar and if I stalled I knew that there would be no cookies left. I became the best at elbowing, pushing, and punching the other kids out of my way. in other words I became very selfish.... When I arrived at A.A. ( this didn't happen but it felt like it did ) They said theres the cookie jar of sobriety help your self, cause I didn't think I could get sober I wasn't going to make a mad dash to get in that line up, as I stood back watching everyone grab for the cookies I just knew that there wouldn't be any left even if I wanted one, after it was all over, out of the corner of my eye I looked at the cookie jar and just as I suspected it was empty. Some one saw me standing there with no cookies and said " look Ron has no Cookies, " and they all rush over and said here Ron Ive got 3 have 2 - here Ive got 4 have a couple - Ive got 2 have 1 and as I stood there with all these cookies it just came to me what I would have to do with them... I would have to give them away.... For the last 30 years Ive been giving them cookies away. And we all know the more you give the more you get. good topic thanks
Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Remote Name: 12.224.94.37
Date: 28 Dec 2003
Time: 08:19 AM -0500
Craig L, another "real" alcoholic (page 21) When I was finally beaten into submission by alcohol. I entered the rooms of AA and there sat a bunch of sour faced old a*holes, who looked at me like I smelled bad and even snubbed me when I said hello. Those same people then said something odd, "you're welcome and wanted", I did not feel welcome or wanted. Fortunately, I went to many other meetings and found that wonderful feeling of being welcome many times since then. I've held lots of different service positions since then, but I'll never forget that feeling of hopelessness and desperation when I first walked in the rooms. Today I always make it my job to ensure every new person, feels "welcome and wanted", with a handshake and smile. I ask those I sponsor to do the same, whether they have one day of sobriety or years, it is their job to make others feel at home in the meeting. AA has given me an amazing sense of Peace, to keep it I give it away freely.
Member: AZbill
Location: azbill1172@cox.net
Remote Name: 68.0.184.118
Date: 28 Dec 2003
Time: 08:25 AM -0500
Hi. Bill here. Alcoholic from Arizona. The first thing that happens in Step 12 is that we are going to have a spiritual awakening, whether we want it or not. It is a promise. Now I am charged with practicing the learned principles and attempting to carry the message. This is the final phase of the entire program of AA. Service. Our third legacy. Some of you may know that I have served as a member of the Steering Committee in 2003. During that period of time I have fielded and answered about 100 inquiries. I for one hold a 100% success rate. I am sure my colleagues can say the same. Not once did I take a drink all year. Not once did I want to take a drink all year. Thank you. I love you. Welcome to to the trusted servants 2004. Hang on to your butt, you are in for the ride of your life!! I love you, Bill
Member: Kim T.
Location: Nevada
Remote Name: 63.151.179.160
Date: 28 Dec 2003
Time: 09:58 AM -0500
Good morning.My name is Kim and I am an alcoholic.The topic takes me to tradition 5--our primary purpose.My first sponsor told me early in sobriety there is no greater gift than helping another alcoholic.I have found this to be true time and again.I was in SLC,Utah visitng my son and his family last week.We took the train to Temple square to see the xmas lights.On the train ride there a gentlemen boarded the train and sat next to me and my husband.He began sharing that he was going into treatment the next morning because he had relapsed after 2 1/2 years.I found myself 12 stepping him on the train.When he got off at his stop I gave him a hug.It really took me back to when I came into AA.I will never forget the many people who hugged me and loved me unconditionally when I couldn't even love myself.I am so grateful for having AA in my life and I try to reach out to others as others reached out to me when I felt so alone.Great topic! Kim T. Fallon, NV.
Member: Robert H
Location: Columbus, OH.
Remote Name: 65.31.16.183
Date: 28 Dec 2003
Time: 10:29 AM -0500
Hi all, Robert here, and I am an alcoholic. I think this is a great topic, especially around this time of year. I find that giving back serves several purpose. First of all, it helps others the way that others helped me. This is important to me just from the standpoint that someone did it for me, and I would not be where I am today without it. The least I can do is give back what I got. But, besides that functional purpose it also serves other purposes for me. First, it reminds me where I came from. And, it reminds me that "but for the grace of God, there I go." Second, it makes me feel needed and as though I serve a purpose. Third, it gives me gratitude for everything God has granted me. Fourth, it keeps me busy in times when I need to be. Fifth, well, I could go on, but I think I made my point...God Bless All. www.alcoholrecovery.net
Member: Joe P
Location: Chicago
Remote Name: 209.86.98.226
Date: 28 Dec 2003
Time: 01:59 PM -0500
My name is Joe, and I am an alcoholic. I volunteer for service in great part for selfish reasons. Service helps me get out of self and helps keep me sober ODAAT. The only unsuccessful service or other 12th step work is if I drink over it, so I too have had 100% success. While involved in service to others, I learn that service to others is not a duty, but rather a privilege, a gift, and a joy. AzBill, thanks for the warning!
Member: davidh
Location: Nashville T N
Remote Name: 68.53.118.15
Date: 28 Dec 2003
Time: 02:30 PM -0500
davidh alcoholic, Great topic I luckily got a sponsor early on that got me involed in AA and into service work. I chaired meetings, made coffee, cleaned up and served as a GSR at my home group. This helps and Im still sober almost 5 years now. I suggest to anyone to get involved in your f to f home group, you will be glad you did
Member: robert w
Location: holiday,fl
Remote Name: 209.4.44.70
Date: 28 Dec 2003
Time: 10:04 PM -0500
Bob W Here: Carrying the message can be as simple as being at a meeting when a newcomer arrives. A smile,a handshake and letting them see that being sober is a great way to live. As my sobriety continued I found that sticking with the winners helped push me in the direction of service in AA. Isn't it great how simple it all is just by staying sober and attending meetings. Thanks Bob
Member: Shawn K
Location: Needles
Remote Name: 216.67.192.188
Date: 29 Dec 2003
Time: 01:00 AM -0500
You know when I first got sober somebody used to take me to a lot of meetings. Now it seems like when I'm not working that's just about all I do. You know if it wasn't for this program I would probably be sitting in prison right now or dead. I used to do a lot of things for people even when i was drinking, but it seems like now I'm doing them for all the right reasons. When I do things for people now to help them stay sober I get a much better feeling from it than I did when I was drinking. I try to travel around my tri-state area and go to different meetings because I know from past experience that I don't or can't afford to get caught up in the monotony of the same meetings every month. When I finally admitted I was powerless over people,places and things, I think I opened the door for God to change my thinking. My girlfriend and I relapsed last year because wasn't aware that my problem was centered in my mind. My THINKING has been CHANGING.
Member: Cec H.
Location: Rivercity
Remote Name: 172.156.80.234
Date: 29 Dec 2003
Time: 05:00 AM -0500
'Carry the message' implies that a person has actual sobriety, since 'you can't give away what you don't have.' I see so many in AA trying to twelfth step newcomers when they don't have a single day clean and sober. The worst offenders, of course, are the smokers. They can't control their drug addiction for even the hour that a meeting lasts, yet they want to tell others about how to control their addiction! Talk about hypocrites! But, they think that they have the answer. The do have an answer, but it is the wrong one. First, a person has to get 100% clean and sober before they can help anyone else. We had a newcomer in the other day talking about a woman telling him about "if you want what we have . . . " All the time, she was alternating between smoking a cigarette and taking a breath of oxygen from her breathing tube. He said he saw what a hypocrite she was immediately. We need to be careful not to carry such a hypocritical message as such is a worthless message. Thanks for the topic, Glen.
Member: Charlie Darling
Location: Key West FL
Remote Name: 68.154.110.75
Date: 29 Dec 2003
Time: 07:01 AM -0500
Good Morning Family, Charlie Darling a very grateful recovering alcholic. Good topic, for me it is service work and always being there for the new comer, for they help me more than they realize. I go to meetings early to greet all, and I chair 2 meetings a week, and sometime more. I get involved in different things in my home group, and the rewards are great, as my reward is another day sober, and I feel terrific. Happy and a safe and sober New Year to all my family. I love you all Peace and Love, Charlie Darling kwduke_1999@yahoo.com
Member: robert w
Location: holiday,fl
Remote Name: 209.4.44.217
Date: 29 Dec 2003
Time: 08:18 AM -0500
Bob W: I just read the comments from a member about a woman smoker being a hypocrite when trying to carry the AA message. If having an addiction of one kind or another and trying to carry the AA message is hypocrital then no one could carry the AA message in AA. " The only requirment for membership is a desire to stop drinking ". Not smoking,french fries,coca cola,speeding or all of the other things people get addicted to. When i finally got to AA i wuoldn't have cared what someone did as long as they could help me to get sober. Even a big ego and judging other alcoholics can be an addiction. " Live And Let Live " Thanks Bob "Still smoking and sober"
Member: Connie
Location: Minnesota
Remote Name: 65.125.127.164
Date: 29 Dec 2003
Time: 10:01 AM -0500
HI! I'm Connie and I'm an alcoholid. I have 7 1/2 months of sobriety and can't even begin to say how thankful I am for this program. When I first stepped into my home-group meeting after coming out of treatment in July, I was scared to death. The unconditional friendship and support I received at that time and continue to receive is an absolute miracle. Without that, I wouldn't have made it. We have quite a few different meetings at our club, and I really like the newcomer meetings. You can see the fear, anxiety, doubt, and hopelessness in some of the newcomers' eyes...and it's great to see them let those feelings go as they become part of the group. I guess as a newly recovering person, I may not have a lot of experience to offer these people, but I can help them understand that it is very very hard in the beginning, but if they work their program honestly the promises will come. They sure have for me. For the first time in 20 some years, I had a sober Christmas. I now find time to do the little things, and am fully enjoying my 7 year old...we played Sorry yesterday! I have my "self" back. Thanks for letting me share!
Member: Connie
Location: Minnesota
Remote Name: 65.125.127.164
Date: 29 Dec 2003
Time: 10:02 AM -0500
Rarely----I loved your cookie analogy! I'd like to share your story at my home group with your permission? Connie
Member: Darold S.
Location: Alaska
Remote Name: 216.47.16.19
Date: 29 Dec 2003
Time: 12:22 PM -0500
Wow cool answers to questions i had about my drinking problem i had ,ive bin sober for a while now ur comment s are so cool THANX
Member: Becky R
Location: Central Oregon
Remote Name: 66.62.141.154
Date: 29 Dec 2003
Time: 06:39 PM -0500
Hi, Becky from Oregon. Great topic. I spent a couple of weeks with family in Portland for the Holidays. I didn't go to meetings, or call my sponosr or any of my support group. I was feeling very alone yesterday when I got home. I am back on track with my program today and am so grateful for AA. I also prayed for God to help me help others. I have talked the talk for quite awhile. Now I must walk the walk. Thanks for being there. I am there for anyone who needs help. Becky
Member: GigiJ
Location: chicago
Remote Name: 24.12.172.238
Date: 29 Dec 2003
Time: 09:44 PM -0500
sometimes step 12 feels me with lots of gratitude i have a recovery house and to see these individuals grow is not only wonderful it's my way of utilizing step 12
Member: Brenna
Location: Michigan
Remote Name: 68.43.219.36
Date: 29 Dec 2003
Time: 11:33 PM -0500
I know that the more I begrudge any service work, the more I NEED it. It's those blasted defects of character, marshalled by PRIDE (my innate dislike of being humble), peppered with SELF-PITY and SELF-CENTEREDNESS (why always ME?) and, of course, served with a healthy dose of SLOTH, that breed unwillingness. These defects are the very things I'm trying to get rid of...why listen to THEM? It's the really inconvenient stuff that ends up being so great. It's that call I get right when I sit down to a hot meal; I'm so irritated at first, and then I remember I'm an alcoholic, and that I'm speaking with another alcoholic who possibly needs support, and the meal can just wait. Or there's that feeling of "I'd rather be doing something else other than this." Again, I remember I'm an alcoholic, and this "inconvenience" is keeping me sober. SERVICE is a constant reminder for me. Plus, it just feels GOOD to put something back in, doesn't it?
Member: Joe P, Trusted Servant
Location: Chicago
Remote Name: 172.149.36.244
Date: 29 Dec 2003
Time: 11:39 PM -0500
My name is Joe and I am an alcoholic. Bob W: I am sorry, but if you are still smoking then you are still addicted to a powerful drug. If you quit drinking, but can't get through the day without several grams of cocaine, then your not clean and sober. Same thing with tobacco. If you can't get through the day without smoking, then you need to look in the mirror and get honest with yourself. A smoker is still an active drug addict. All a smoker has done is change his or her drug of choice. Nothing has been accomplished. You have to honestly change your life and learn to live free of addiction to drugs. If you get honest, you will see the truth of this statement. Comparing addiction to tobacco with french fries and Coca Cola is part of the denial syndrome of drug addicts. The drug addict trys to downplay his addiction by comparing it to some innocent behavior, like eating french fries. It fools no one but the addict himself. I hope that you will get honest with yourself, my friend Bob, and do something about your drug addiction before it's too late. "To drink is to die" and "to smoke is to die." Either way you die of drug addiction. Don't let this happen to you. Please!
Member: Dan W
Location: Alaska
Remote Name: 209.124.131.35
Date: 30 Dec 2003
Time: 01:04 AM -0500
Dan W, part-time alcoholic and addict. I take issue with Joe P and others who feel that a member's smoking is evidence against recovery. I thought the idea was progress, not perfection. No one is a perfectly recovered addict or alcoholic. All of us are just people working on it. I myself quit smoking long ago. But if I had to choose between drinking & drugging, on the one hand, and smoking on the other, I'd choose smoking any day. I know plenty of recovering people who are doing well, living better lives, even though they smoke. They deserve support, not criticism. One reason I stopped attending meetings after several years was I got tired of the moral oneupmanship. Hope to avoid that here.
Member: Jeff T.
Location: Ne.
Remote Name: 12.108.214.178
Date: 30 Dec 2003
Time: 01:59 AM -0500
Jeff, Alcoholic. Passing on what has been given so freely, seems to get easier for me as time goes on, 12 step work i have learned can be more than one on one talk with another alcoholic. My sponser told me in the begining that i can take this program as far as i want. I can sit in the meetings & take or i can give it back, (pass on what i have learned) How would all the AA chores get done if we all just took & never gave back? Who would chair the meetings or be a group rep. if we didn`t vote at our group meetings in november. Who would make the coffee or empty the ash trays if no one else would. How would all these things get done if we didn`t do 12 step work of some kind? A long time ago i made the decision to be a part of my own recovery, to be a "do-er" not a "whi-ner". And when someone has the nerve to come up to me and say how can i get what you got? I always take the time to sit down & talk one on one with them about recovery from alcoholism, this is what i have been taught. How to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind & body, how to make it thru the day without a drink of alcohol.
Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Remote Name: 64.12.96.233
Date: 30 Dec 2003
Time: 08:22 AM -0500
Hi (All), Kelly, an alcoholic.(Carry The Message),great topic Glen! I can't add much more then Jeff T. above who said it so well... Thanks! It is really easy to not notice a new person coming through the doors for the first time, especially in a large meeting. I have a friend with many years that would come up to me and nudge me and say, "Kelly, see that woman over there...why don't you go over and say Hi to her"? Well after a few times I started to try and notice a new and scared face. I made a point to go over and extend my hand and just say, "Hello". It only takes a few seconds to do and can make or break a new persons impression of a meeting. I still have to work on not being so self absorbed I don't notice the newcomer. To (remember) what it felt like at my first meeting when no one greeted me. I was (scared) and trying not to show it, my hands still shook, I thought everyone was looking at me. I left feeling yucky but I went back and I'm glad someone did extend the hand of friendship eventually. Carrying the message can be as simple as,"Hello, How are you"? GodBless, Kelly :)
Member: Phil S
Location: Michigan
Remote Name: 216.234.125.207
Date: 30 Dec 2003
Time: 08:51 AM -0500
Thank you Dan W.!
Member: Joe P
Location: Chicago
Remote Name: 65.56.142.173
Date: 30 Dec 2003
Time: 10:24 AM -0500
My name is Joe, and I am an alcoholic. I am double (not triple) dipping to clarify that the post above, "Joe P, Trusted Servant", is not I. One of the features of the sign here is that duplicate names cannot be registered (note my regular sign-in name above). As a member of AA, I have only one message that I really try to carry about AA - that I, like many others, have had a spiritual awakening due to the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous by which I, like many others, can achieve abstinence from alcohol ODAAT. That's it - Abstinence from Alcohol. Don't drink and go to meetings. Joe - joep041699@mindspring.com
Member: robert w
Location: holiday,fl
Remote Name: 209.4.43.145
Date: 30 Dec 2003
Time: 11:02 AM -0500
Bob W: If smoking cigarettes in an indication that i'am no longer clean and sober. It must be true that I'am not a saint. Darn Darn. If I was perfect I would not have a use for AA and would sooner or later find myself drunk. If I had met people in AA who were squeaky clean and sober when I arrived at my first meeting I would have made some fast tracks out of there. Bless them as they were like myself. I'am happy to report that these first helping hands came with all sorts of bad baggage wraped around an Alcoholic. Most smoked and drank to much coffee. Some didn't smell just right and wore torn pants and shirts. Never heard anyone say that i was not sober after not drinking for a week because of cigarettes. I have never been told or have said to someone that they are not clean and sober. The key word is "SOBER" not Clean. If i remember in my counseling days the term clean and sober meant being free from mind altering drugs and booze. Any substance that could change my attitude to stinking thinking and lead me back to the bottle. The man who took me to my first meeting had met Bill W. on a number of occasions and once they and several AA members had a small meeting outside of a AA conference in Teledo,Oh while sitting on garbage cans and smoking behind the building. Clean No-Sober Yes." The only requirment for membership is a desire to stop drinking". That is why we use our slogans like "KISS" "Live and Let Live" "But for The Grace of God". Why do we have to complicate the heck out of simplicity itself.? Who wants strings attacted to sobriety that some might or might not achieve. That is why Dr Bob and Bill W. came up with the requirment statement. No strings, stop drinking and presto you are sober. After going thru the 12 steps over and over the better our understanding of what being sober is all about. Like learning to live in a world where i once wanted to hide from,finding out that i am not perfect and not the center of it all. I'am just a young drunk in an old body trying like everyone else to stay off the merrigoround of active alcoholism. Thanks for the ear. I needed that.
Member: robert w
Location: holiday,fl
Remote Name: 209.4.43.145
Date: 30 Dec 2003
Time: 11:11 AM -0500
Thanks for the info Joe: You said it all Bob W
Member: Darold S.
Location: Alaska
Remote Name: 216.47.16.18
Date: 30 Dec 2003
Time: 12:00 PM -0500
cool joe its all true an bob Today another sober day thanx to the good advice thanx
Member: Rarely
Location: Canada
Remote Name: 206.45.167.135
Date: 30 Dec 2003
Time: 12:57 PM -0500
Ron and Im an alcoholic. Connie you can take any thing I might say and use or pass it on as you see fit. When I was drinking I lived in a little town way up north there was a town 50 miles to the south and another 50 miles to the north both had A.A. but there was no A.A. in the town where I lived. I was the boot legger and drug pusher and I would have people from the other towns come to me for their drug of choice. When I got busted five criminal charges were placed against me. Two people from one of the towns came and carried the message to me and the women I was living with, they held meetings in our house on Sunday night. And while the meeting was going on a knock on the door by some one wanting a bottle and I would sell them what whey wanted. This went on for three months, those people would travel 50 miles one way to hold a meeting and I just kept on doing business as always. I stood at a turning point, it was either A.A. or my old way of life. I stopped doing business, and when I was a year sober I asked those people who traveled the 100 mileas round trip if they knew that I was still boot legging when they were holding meeting in our house.... " They said yes but we also knew you were sober." What greater gift can a suffering alcoholic get from a member of A.A. Not to be judged by some spiritual giant was the key for me to get sober and stay sober for over 30 years, The women I lived with is also still sober. Oh! sober eh Joe you don't think a person is sober if they smoke??? Well how about if they steal, lie, cheat, are they sober when they do those things. or is it just if they smoke?? And how about if there resentful, hateful, jealouse, beat their wife up are there still sober if they do those things??? It must be a heavy load for you to carry around judgeing other peoples sobriety.. Then on the other hand as long as your doing that you never have to look at your self eh.
Member: Gabrielle P
Location: Northwest Ohio
Remote Name: 152.163.253.70
Date: 30 Dec 2003
Time: 06:02 PM -0500
Gabrielle grateful recovering alcoholic....hhhhmmmmm....not sober if you are still smoking.....actual topic Step 12 carrying the message.....YUP this must be an alkie site..... Having HAD a spiritual awakening as a RESULT of these steps, we TRIED to carry this message to other alcohics and PRACTICE these principals in all our affairs..... I quit drinking on November 20th 1987, I still smoked until 3 yrs ago Jan 20th, I have been sober 16 yrs....my belief...and I share by being involved as a Home Group Archivist, I volunteer to go to Work Release (the local hoose cal) I am the elected GSO for my home group..... All good points above...and everyone is entitled to their opinion....I know many who say I and others are not sober because we smoked....I was taught in the old school that drinking is what I was here for....that I cannot give away what I do not have which is recovery as a result of working the Steps as set down in the first 164 pages of the Big Book and then putting into action what I learned as a result of contining to practice the pricipals taught to me by those who went before me...if I had been forced to quit smoking and drinking and drugging and eating and all the other things in my life that I am compulsive about at the same time....I would not be here.....because we all have faults and character defects and the steps give us but a daily reprieve from those if we listen to the wisdom that others have gained by doing these things ahead of us....I try not to judge others because like someone else said here as soon as I do that.....I usually have something of one of my own faults come up and remind me that I am human and was unable to not drink for even one day......that it is God (my choice of Higher Power) and the others that have sucessfully gone before me whether it be one day or many days...cause really that is all any of us have isnt' it??? I go to meeting and come here because I am too weak alone to stay sober....so I try to remember... I cannot fail until I stop trying, In Sobriety, In AA, In Life Gabrielle
Member: Susan A.
Location: Vernon, Connecticut
Remote Name: 204.167.53.86
Date: 30 Dec 2003
Time: 06:08 PM -0500
Hi All, I'm Susan and I'm an Alcoholic. What a great topic...keeping the doors open, and giving something back...Thanks. You helped me remember what it was like when I once searched out an alkie in Mogadishu who was also searching for me, and we started a meeting in Somalia during that deployment. There were 4-5 people attending every day when I left. Don't know if it's still going on, but is sure saved our butts. I share my local meetings with our fellow Alcoholics who are deployed now in Iraq, Bosnia, etc, by taking them with me 'spiritually'. // At one of my first meetings, a lady really looked at me, and told me that I never had to hurt that badly ever again, I never had to be alone again, just keep coming back, we want you here. I mostly didn't believe her, and wanted to run, but there was a smidge of hope in me that brought me back. I try to give that hope and welcome and friendship to others. It's important to me to also support AA through our literature, the Grapevine, Loners international, etc. Love what you say, Rarely, and thanks Joe for volunteering (and all the others who did, too). Thanks for being here, and best wishes for a safe, sober, happy new year.
Member: Norman C
Location: Reading PA
Remote Name: 199.224.114.22
Date: 30 Dec 2003
Time: 09:27 PM -0500
Step 12 is one that none of do perfectly. I do make an attempt to "practice these principles in all my affairs" but do not achieve perfection. When I came in the goal was to achieve sobriety. I remember one meeting when one of the old timers said that there needed to be less smoking or else the smoke detectors were going to go off! I chose to go to smoke free metings a while ago because I didn't like the smell. I feel that smoking is an outside issue. Norm
Member: Mike H
Location: Jackson Michigan
Remote Name: 68.76.50.108
Date: 31 Dec 2003
Time: 08:14 AM -0500
During my early attempts to stay sober the hand of AA was there to help me. Several times I went to meetings drunk but was welcomed. On a couple of occasions I was taken to an AA member's home to sober up and then taken to a meeting. I was never critized or made fun of. I was a sick person needing help and was given that help. For this I am very grateful to AA and my fellow members. 12 step work is our Higher power working through us to help someone else. Wishing everyone health and happiness in the coming new year. Mike H.
Member: Scott K.
Location: Northeast
Remote Name: 13.13.137.1
Date: 31 Dec 2003
Time: 02:31 PM -0500
Hi All, My name is Scott and I'm an alcoholic. "Having had a spiritual awakening", I'm not sure that I did or maybe I just haven't recognized it yet. I certainly didn't have one like Bill W. but I have changed for the better. I want to help others and that is a start. The service work that I have been doing is chairing a lot of speaker meetings and sharing my E,S&H. To be truthful though, I think I get more out of that than the people listening but that is my way of carrying the message to other Alcholics. I also like to do what Kelly M. talked about, I try to introduce myself to a new face in the room of my home group and say hello. I'm kind of shy so that is a stretch for me but I like to do that and it always seems well received. I'm sure as I mature in sobriety (I'm only 22months sober), I will get into some more serious 12 step work like Bill W. talks about in the BB but for now I'll just go ahead one day at a time. Thanks for listening and happy new year everyone!!!
Member: robert w
Location: holiday,fl
Remote Name: 209.4.17.224
Date: 31 Dec 2003
Time: 07:05 PM -0500
I asked God for strenth that I might achieve----I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey. I asked for health that I might do greater things---------- I was given infirmity that I might do better things. I asked for riches that I might be happy------- I was given poverty that I might be wise. I asked for power that I might have the praise of men------------------------------------------I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God. I asked for all things that I might enjoy life--I was given life that I might enjoy all things. I got nothing that I asked for - But everything I had hoped for.... Almost despite myself,my unspoken prayers were answered. I among all men, most richly blessed. 2003 Bob W.
Member: maryw
Location: kansas
Remote Name: 68.103.52.156
Date: 01 Jan 2004
Time: 02:15 AM -0500
hi i'm mary and i am an acoholic and an addict. one thing i like about online AA is there are no visual cues to judge people by. i really was a messed up person when i was using. the things i did! well, when i got sober, i realized all the cra%%y bad thingd i did. that is when i learned not to be judgemental... i did want to be judged so i shouldn't judge... being sober and lettting friends and family know i'm sober.. helps carry the message too
Member: maryw
Location: kansas
Remote Name: 68.103.52.156
Date: 01 Jan 2004
Time: 02:21 AM -0500
i apoligize for the choppiness of my post... my son was im ing me from iraq.. and i lost the my train of thought... best new years gift tho :) i know he is safe into the new year. pray for him and his safty...
Member: Charlie Darling
Location: Key West FL
Remote Name: 68.154.110.75
Date: 01 Jan 2004
Time: 05:36 AM -0500
Happy New Year Family, Made it through another new years sober. Now isn't life just great. Today I will be at a meeting at 8am, talk to other alcholics, ans stay sober another day with the help of my HP, and the fellowship of Alcholics. Today and all year my resolution will be to get to the meeting early so I can greet the new comer who is till suffering and also greet the other fellow members, it is so good to be sober, and be present. God bless you Mary and your son in Iraq. By the way I am an Alcholic named Charlie And they call me Darling. Honesty my last name is not Darling but was giving to me by a fellow member so I use that. Thank you Staying Cyber, and AA fro giving me another start today I love you all. Peace and Love Charlie kwduke_1999@yahoo.com
Member: aaaj
Location: Ft Lauderdale, Fl
Remote Name: 152.163.253.70
Date: 01 Jan 2004
Time: 09:06 AM -0500
Hi all! Aubrey G/A, Happy New Year to all. This program is a program of attraction, not promotion. Practicing the principles in all our affairs does just that. It attracts the newcomer. It says in How It Works, "If you want what we have, and are willing.....". How would a newcomer know what we have if we didn't practice, demonstrate the principles? I sponsor several people, chair four meetings a week, started a group that meets on the beach every Sunday morning. I have AAers at my home almost every day. I run into AAers when I'm shopping or driving or doing business. I can't act one way at meetings and be different outside the rooms. I can't make suggestions to my sponcees if don't practise the principles? I work with one of my sponcees. How can I help him learn tolerance, acceptance, or any of the principles, if he sees me getting angry, impatient, aggrevated, or dishonest, selfish, fearful. Practicing the principles keeps me on my toes, and allows me to attract newcomers to this new design for living, and KEEPS THIS ALKY SOBER. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Joe B.
Location: Charleston,W.V.
Remote Name: 205.188.209.140
Date: 01 Jan 2004
Time: 10:29 AM -0500
Higang, Happy New Year. My experience is use the last three to make the other nine work, and to be the best you can be . Ive got a lot to learn and a lot of living to do. Cheers. Joe the Drunk
Member: Pi Koan
Location: New York
Remote Name: 152.163.253.70
Date: 01 Jan 2004
Time: 11:41 AM -0500
Happy New Year To All Of you my dear friends!!!!May you all be blest with the serenity and peace that sobriety gives in each day. Is the topic Step 12? In my experience you cannot give what you don't have even if you are dry. I did open a lot of 12 steps groups and also did a lot of volunteer social work but see I have shortcomings and limitations that people canot accept and rejects ultimately even though the motivation was initially good. Was the work rewarding even if it was exchanged by rejection and ridicule? If I will give advise to anybody that would be don't do it, unless you are in their kind and level, otherwise you are trudging in very thin ice. But hey I did it, so you might have a picture of yourselves as very accepted people doing the 12 step work and admired for it, while here I am in my experience completely the opposite, but I am an explorer on my own right. In mountain tops and deserts and ice regions,.. alone my friend, while all these climatic conditions mocks at me. Now I sit back and say, yeah? what did you do to compare with what I did? Moralize as long as you want, I did what I could.
Member: Dan H.
Location: Glennallen, Alaska
Remote Name: 209.161.179.31
Date: 01 Jan 2004
Time: 02:32 PM -0500
It is 23 below zero outside and my heart couldn't be warmer. My home group had their Wednesday night meeting last night and I got to be the one with the key to open the door. I was also asked to give rides to a few people and that was a gift to me also. Every chance I get to help another alcoholic is a supreme gift in my eyes. I have been sober for 6 years and I am just figuring that out. (slow learner) Our meetings here used to have only 2 or 3 people that attended....Now we have from 8 to 12 on a regular basis. Helping another person get sober has been the greatest gift of sobriety for me. Thanks for letting me share. ps. Darold from Alaska...please visit our meeting if you are ever in Glennalen...we have a chair waiting for you. cleandan@cvinternet.net
Member: Pol.smallIrishman
Location: england
Remote Name: 81.104.37.208
Date: 01 Jan 2004
Time: 05:40 PM -0500
Hi I'm Pol and I'm an alcoholic. Please forgive mr for any mistakes, I'm not very computer literate and this is my first on-line anything! I have been sober (alcohol)for 3years and 8months and it has been a hard slog but with many rewards. I try to be an example of 'sobriety' to all but I fall short often with my manic tempers, judging, impatience etc.I was a chronic asthmatic from birth, watched my mother die due to smoking and my father loose his legs and die because of it. i smoked for 10years and gave up drugs after 6weeks sober and smoking (cigarettes) after 6months. My sponsor is 20years sober and smokes. I am sober from alcohol and that was what was killing me, soul and body.I cannot carry any message if I drink or drug but if I had to smoke instead of drink(by t.g.o.G, I won't)then I'd smoke although I do know the denial involved and addiction etc.I am yet to make a 12 step call but if I keep "practicing these principles", i'm sure when I'm ready God will use me.For now washing cups, sharing and attending meetings is enough service.Thnak you all.Pol
Member: eddie.s
Location: denny scotland
Remote Name: 82.40.101.152
Date: 01 Jan 2004
Time: 07:59 PM -0500
happy and sober new year to everyone,first time here have enjoyed comments,only one thing annoyed me was about smoking,last tine i look at my big book it does not mention anything about giving up smoking it only deals with alcoholism and how to stay sober and stay sober one dat at a time through the twelve steps.KEEP THIS SIMPLE dont screw this up for the newcomer that is still to come through the doors of alcoholics anonymous yours in fellowship eddie s
Member: Ali C.
Location: Mass.
Remote Name: 67.75.38.131
Date: 01 Jan 2004
Time: 08:01 PM -0500
Hi everyone. I'm new here so forgive any missteps in posting, etc. I like the topic of service - it was the topic of discussion at a meeting I went to recently. I feel in a big slump right now in my recovery, and life in general, and I'm thinking doing some service would be a good thing for me. I have often been on the edges of the program, and am stubborn as a mule about doing things as they are laid out. Maybe doing some service will help me get back on track a little. There's an AA website in my area, and maybe they need help on that. Thanks for listening.
Member: Herb S.
Location: Vancouver, B.C.
Remote Name: 24.207.29.65
Date: 02 Jan 2004
Time: 01:04 AM -0500
Hi folks, my name is Herb and I'm an alcoholic. Happy New year to everyone. Just thought I'd share something I heard along the way. I remember a fella once saying "quit what's killing you the fastest first." Made sense to me! If you're doing hard drugs, there's your priority. If you're doing alcohol, worry about nicotene,caffeine, internet, spending, etc. later. I tell newcomers that want to be completely clean and quit tobacco in their first year of sobriety that their aim is admirable but they are already under enough stress quitting alcohol and they should postpone any other major decisions.I quit tobacco cold turkey in 1974 and I can still remember how crazy the first three days were! "Easy Does It" is not a trite aphorism to stick on your bumper; it is a reminder to impulsive,complicated people like me that recovery is a process, not a race. It's also a reminder that I don't have the right to sit in the weeds(sorry, couldn't refuse that one!) and snipe at people. The only inventory I should be taking is my own.If others are still medicating with other substances or behaviours, I should be grateful I'm not and mind my own business! By the way, I never thought of tobacco as a mood-altering drug until I got into recovery. I told a buddy of mine "no way" and he said what's the first thing a smoker reaches for when he's stressed? Oh. Okay, maybe it is, but I didn't join AA so I could sit around judging others. I joined because I needed help to give up alcohol and I got that help. Now what was the topic again....12th step?!(I might be flaky but I'm having fun!!) One last thing: I heard someone say once that every time you attend a meeting you are doing a 12th step call because you're helping someone stay sober.Thanks for helping me stay sober by giving me the chance to post here!
Member: Mark W.
Location: Near the Huge Croquet Wicket
Remote Name: 64.218.85.99
Date: 02 Jan 2004
Time: 07:08 AM -0500
Thanks Glen! Great topic! It seems that the longer that I am "in" the program, the tougher some of the service tasks become. IR was the first official position. GSR is a challenge for my group as well. Steering comittee here involved some time, which was well spent, by the way. I am alternate DCM for my district now. More time, and area assemblies are a must. I attended the Idaho get together, and heard just what I needed to hear, which has been shared often since. Tradition two refers to the people holding service positions in AA as trusted servants. I believe this to be true. While in Idaho, I heard the steering comittee (of which I was a member), refered to as "twisted serpents". This was in jest, and struck me as hilarious. May we all share our best experience, strength, and hope with those who need, and well remember rule 62, and not take ourselves too seriously. My best to all attending. Mark W.
Member: Darold S.
Location: Alaska
Remote Name: 12.21.211.43
Date: 02 Jan 2004
Time: 12:35 PM -0500
hello its the holidays an i stayed sober thanx to all who had some good advice ive bin reading alot thanx
Member: Bobbi C
Location: Baltimore
Remote Name: 172.128.50.124
Date: 02 Jan 2004
Time: 04:21 PM -0500
Happy New Year, everyone! Interesting discussion here, as always. To the people who are talking about smoking: It is an issue that desperately needs to be addressed and discussed, but it is also one that will be constantly met with rejection in AA. Statistically, some 80 percent of the members of AA smoke. They are not ready to get honest with themselves and live a life free of dependence upon drugs. So, if you mention it, you will likely be met with a lot of negativity and probably some hostility. I understand the concern of those members of AA who have actually achieved complete sobriety. As mentioned, smoking is the worst drug addiction know to man. As Pol mentioned, smoking killed his mother and caused his father to lose both his legs. All of us have seen the same thing among those we love. In my many years in AA, all but two of the 70 plus people who have died in our group died from smoking. But nothing you can say to these otherwise good people can convince them to seek actual sobriety (total abstinence from mood altering and addictive drugs [by the way, Herb, your observation that tobacco is a mood altering drug is correct]). Even Bill Wilson (in addition to his abuse of LSD and other drugs) and Dr. Bob were unable to face up to their addictions and they ultimately died from their smoking. That is, of course, why it is not addressed in the big book. The bottom line is that even though you are well meaning and wanting to save lives, you best be prepared for tough going when confronting a tobacco addict, especially one in AA. If you succeed, more power to you. But, remember that you are facing the worst drug addiction in human history. Best of luck.
Member: Bobbi C
Location: Baltimore
Remote Name: 172.128.50.124
Date: 02 Jan 2004
Time: 04:21 PM -0500
Happy New Year, everyone! Interesting discussion here, as always. To the people who are talking about smoking: It is an issue that desperately needs to be addressed and discussed, but it is also one that will be constantly met with rejection in AA. Statistically, some 80 percent of the members of AA smoke. They are not ready to get honest with themselves and live a life free of dependence upon drugs. So, if you mention it, you will likely be met with a lot of negativity and probably some hostility. I understand the concern of those members of AA who have actually achieved complete sobriety. As mentioned, smoking is the worst drug addiction know to man. As Pol mentioned, smoking killed his mother and caused his father to lose both his legs. All of us have seen the same thing among those we love. In my many years in AA, all but two of the 70 plus people who have died in our group died from smoking. But nothing you can say to these otherwise good people can convince them to seek actual sobriety (total abstinence from mood altering and addictive drugs [by the way, Herb, your observation that tobacco is a mood altering drug is correct]). Even Bill Wilson (in addition to his abuse of LSD and other drugs) and Dr. Bob were unable to face up to their addictions and they ultimately died from their smoking. That is, of course, why it is not addressed in the big book. The bottom line is that even though you are well meaning and wanting to save lives, you best be prepared for tough going when confronting a tobacco addict, especially one in AA. If you succeed, more power to you. But, remember that you are facing the worst drug addiction in human history. Best of luck.
Member: David S.
Location: Minneapolis,MN
Remote Name: 65.30.253.196
Date: 02 Jan 2004
Time: 04:48 PM -0500
David S. Alcoholic / Addict here... Thanks for the topic. I haven't been to a meeting in a while. Been sober 8 years 10 months and tried to balance my life.. Well I balanced AA right out of it. I haven't drank or drugged and still have practiced some of the principles but after running into this site I have been overcome with gratitude and the realization that the only way to balance my life is with active involvement in AA. Dugh!! I had much difficulty getting and staying sober for 3 years. Then I found a sponsor that truly saved my life. He made me do service work and 12 step work. I remember I had a week of sobriety and he picked me up to do a 12 step call. I "didn't have anything to offer". Well he said you know how to stay sober a week and he isn't sober an hour you must have something to offer. Everytime I complained and started the "woe is me" he busted my butt and got me to intergroup to fold flyers, take a meeting to detox etc. My first year flew by and after looking back I realized that something was different. I felt different and the desire to drink and drug had left me. I truly believe that it was through setting out chairs, emptying ash trays, bringing drunks to detox and sharing what "little" experience strength and hope I had that got me and has kept me sober. Thanks RW for saving my life...Thanks group for my new awakening and just how much I need and have missed meetings....little have you known but you all have 12 stepped me...
Member: Pol.smallIrishman
Location: england
Remote Name: 81.104.37.208
Date: 02 Jan 2004
Time: 09:42 PM -0500
Hi Pol here. I hope you are all well. i've been told by the computer to start you all off on a subject seeing as I'm the first one here. How about "contempt prior to investgation" This struck me like a hammer when it was read at one of my first meetings. Yes it didn't fail to keep me in ignorance, all through my life. Until I started to work the program.
Member: Shawn K
Location: Needles
Remote Name: 216.67.203.122
Date: 03 Jan 2004
Time: 12:27 AM -0500
My name is Shawn, and I'm an alcoholic. I'm greatful to be in a meeting tonight. I went to a meeting earlier but I didn't get a chance to share. I was reading in the back of the book the other day, and at the end of what I was reading it said, "contempt prior to investigation." To me that means thinking somethings not going to work and you haven't even tried it. I know this program works if you work it. It seems like the more poeple I help the further along in my recovery I get. Anyway, it's good to be clean and sober for another day. Happy New Year everybody.
Member: anne s
Location: scotland
Remote Name: 62.252.128.10
Date: 03 Jan 2004
Time: 10:48 AM -0500
i just left the coffee pot all serene and peaceful and get to the discusssion group to find someone stirrin a storm with a shitty stick..(relax,i,m ok really) dont we have enough to deal with on a daily basis staying away fron alcohol on a daily basis? i came to aa beaten scared and generally fucked up,baffled as to how anyone could help me stay away from a drink for one day for ones self but members of this fellowship sat me down and spoke to me with all sorts of wonderous hints and tips that work for them and helped me just by being there and sharing their own esah. no-one took offence at my long standing addiction to tobacco and still dont..i know its not healthy but neither is pollution food additives or global warming. plese try to keep your discussion related to aa, go to non-smoking meetings if you prefer and if you dont have a local one..start one!! bobby c..what were you smoking that made you soooo rightous? joe p i knew that wasnt really you, you never come acrooss that harsh!! right on man.dont drink and go to meetings, love ya for it.
Member: anne s
Location: scotland
Remote Name: 62.252.128.10
Date: 03 Jan 2004
Time: 11:06 AM -0500
ps ..apologies for swearing. those of you who know me know its a very rare occasion. just does my head in coz i have enough to deal with and the sad fact is i do it coz i want to!!! pps. i dont smoke in meeting rooms either. happy 2004!!!
Member: jules h.
Location: Iowa
Remote Name: 199.120.66.9
Date: 03 Jan 2004
Time: 03:15 PM -0500
Hi all, Jules, I'm alcoholic.......... I'm glad this meeting's here, even though it get's controversial many times, everyone has a right to their own opinion, but does it help or hinder our 'primary purpose'......Herb S. pretty much sums it up "quit what's killing you fastest first", when I was brand-new to sobriety, I ate tons of candy bars, and of course gained weight but now I can't remember the last time I've had a candy bar.. I'm so glad those ole guys at the meetings 12 stepped me,not 13th stepped (there were'nt any women at meetings), but I was ready to go to any length to get sober, so thank God those oldtimers were there!!! By the way, How do you become an oldtimer?? You don't drink and you don't die..........Make it a great day and Happy 2004!!!!
Member: Ali C.
Location: Mass.
Remote Name: 67.75.35.22
Date: 03 Jan 2004
Time: 06:16 PM -0500
Hi this is Ali. I am a grateful recovering alcoholic, so glad to be sober today. On the topic of contempt - I had never heard this notion in terms of AA until someone whose recovery and presence I really admire talked about the contempt he had for AA when he first came in - all the stupid slogans, and people talking about "a life second to none", etc. - and how that feeling kept him from doing the recovery work he needed to do. Wow, did I relate. I still, many 24 hours later, struggle with my annoyance with and contempt of AA (I could launch into a list of these annoyances but that's not the point). The point is that my life is my own to live, and I can choose to throw out the baby with the bathwater and never go to meetings, or take what I need, and leave the rest. What occurred to me today after an 11th step meditation meeting, is that AA is my place of worship. I need to go to be close to my higher power, which is the foundation for my recovery and sanity. The nasty negative thoughts about AA I know is my addiction trying to kill me. The miracle for me is that I have managed to be connected, even sometimes by a tiny thread, with AA, for a long time. I can not let my contempt lead to complacency and arrogance - then I am in danger of relapsing. Thanks for listening.
Member: Brian C.
Location: Killeen,TX
Remote Name: 24.242.44.95
Date: 04 Jan 2004
Time: 12:41 AM -0500
Hi my name is Brian and I am an alcoholic. The first time I came in to an A.A. meeting I held most of the members in some form of contempt. I believed they were a bunch of whiners and they were out looking for sympathy. I looked for all the differences and none of the similarities becuase I had judged these people so that they would fall beneath myself. This gave me the excuse I needed to not walk back in the doors of A.A. I then stayed "dry" for the next 6 months and "wet" for an additional 6 1/2 years. I am grateful "contempt prior to investigation" didn't kill me.