Member: JCP  ^/^
Location: Penn's Woods
Date: 12/27/99
Time: 12:37:42 AM

Comments

To us, the realm of the spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive, never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. It is open, we believe, to all.--As Bill Sees It, p. 7.

I got sober (at least dry) on the spirit of others. My first night at A.A. the problem was not about being right. It was about whether there existed the remotest possibility that I could go without a drink from that meeting to one the following night.

That looked unlikely--my first 24 hours without a drink in more than seven years. So they cornered me at a back table and quoted slogans that I only recall because I have heard them hundreds of time since.

Guess what: I made it. Then there was the night--doubly dubious, 48 hours without a drink.

It had everything to do with spirit and nothing to do with religion and none to do religion beyond the use of church basements. I did not hold much resentment about religion, but that did not get me 24 hours without a drink. Spiritual is a human capacity--prior to religion as intelligence is prior to education, and physical is prior to competition.

All this meant nothing to me that night--I cannot live a life in the next 24 hours but I can be there without a drink. At least for sure, you can't get sober without stopping drinking.

I did not believe any of this, but A.A. has proved it. Everything has not been great since that first 24 hours, but everything that is great since then I owe to A.A., not only its Higher Power but hundreds of people whom I will never tell. I still would not know what to say, I can only hope they know too.


Member: Craig D.
Location: UTOPIA
Date: 12/27/99
Time: 1:00:40 AM

Comments

Craig D. Alcoholic/Addict. My family I would none without AA. Thanks, JCP. I hear AA calls New Year's amatuer's night.


Member: Cherise L.
Location: PA
Date: 12/27/99
Time: 7:01:19 AM

Comments

Hi my name is Cherise and I'm a grateful alcoholic

To me Spirituality is the main part of my program. My family believes if you sin and don't believe the Christian way, you will go to Hell. What I keep trying to explain to them is I have already been to Hell. The ironic thing is, during Christmas at their house this year, the mass was on television, the pretty music, church etc. and the whole time my parents were fighting, yelling and totally miserable. That's how I lived my life when I was drinking. Yeah I went to church, drunk and continued to party when it was over.

Today God is in my life and like JCP said it's my Higher Power that keeps me sober today, NOT any religion or any other org. I am so grateful that I choose not to live that old life of being miserable and work the steps to a life that is beyond my wildest dreams. And I am close to a Higher Power that no one told me I have to have, just one that I truly believe in every day of my sober life.

Thanks for letiing me share and


Member: Frank C.
Location: Texas
Date: 12/27/99
Time: 7:28:01 AM

Comments

My name is Frank And I am an Alcoholic. Spirituality. My first couple of times around I didn't pay too much attention to spirituality. I thought it was a waste of time. Of course I thought everything except getting drunk was a waste of time. Then, one time in 1981 I was coming off a drunk and felt pretty low. I called a friend of mine who had been sober about nine years. He came and got me and took me to a AA campout. We got there Friday night and it was dark. You could tell there were a lot of people out there in the woods and it sounded like they were having fun. Anyway by Sunday morning at the God meeting I started feeling something. I saw all these peoplen pouring their souls out and claiming to feel great. The next thing I knew I stuck my hand up and started blabbering on about something and it was all I could do to keep from crying , I might have shed a tear or two as it was anyway.I think that was a spiritual awakening. It felt good anyway. I stayed sober till 1989. Or untill I quit thanking my Higher Power for yesterdays sobriety and asking for help making it through today. I am back now and I hope a little more in tune with the spiritual aspect of the program. What makes it easy is "We claim progress, not perfection" So, I got a excuse for not being perfect yet. Thanks for letting me share and keep coming back.-Frank


Member: Bob H,
Location: South Bend,Indiana
Date: 12/27/99
Time: 8:03:55 AM

Comments

Hi my name is Bob and I"m an alcoholic!Back in Jan 1980 when in my mind i could only see insanity or death an ifel on my knees on my livingrom floor and said God take me.Shortly afterthat I wound up at an aa neeting after going to two or three meetings a day everyday,after about 6 months i realised were i had been what i had done before i got here asked God to take me an slid in to my first aa meeting That was my first spirtual exsperance.thank you God AA the 12 steps and the fellowship.Ihave not had to take a drink ,pop a pill,smoke a joint,or do any mind altering substanc since the 6th of jan.1980.so now that I can think not drink and come to meetings ineed to continue doing what I"ve been doing ,so I can continue to recieve what i"ve been recieving.As far as being speirtial,I believe it is all speirtial.


Member: Sabrina D.
Location: New Jersey
Date: 12/27/99
Time: 10:20:58 AM

Comments

Hi my name is Sabrina and I am an alcoholic. I am as spiritual as I allow myself to be. If I dont focus on my #1 priority of sobriety my spirituality goes out the window along with my serenity and ability for patience, tolerance and the like. It took me a long time to filter out the idea that religion was spiritual and once I came to understand I too was allowed to be human with all my imperfections. I thank my Higher Power for giving me a place with people who are like me. People who know how I feel without me saying a word, that reinforces my spiritual connection daily. Thank you.


Member: Stanley B
Location: Delaware
Date: 12/27/99
Time: 12:28:31 PM

Comments

Just what does spirituality mean? I hear alot of nonesense talk from people in this program regarding this topic and when you ask them right out what it all means and how to work it, they, often times, can't answer you with anything of substance. What is God? What is a Higher Power? What does being spiritual mean? etc. They get all flustered when asked because many don't really walk the walk but they certainly know how to talk the talk.

Spirituality is not religion for me. In fact the religious beliefs I was raised with taught me to be fearful of God not dependent upon Him/Her. The God I grew up with in religion told me that He/She was vengeful and punishing. What a crock of BS! This type of teaching is nothing more than a destructive tool used to control. Actually, it resulted in doing just what the church did not want it to do, it moved me further away from the religion. It also caused great damage to my faith and trust in God.

Spirituality for me means being at one with my God. My God is that inner voice that tells me what to do next to keep living in joy. My God is that next person that says just the comment I need to hear to resolve a dilemma I am experiencing. My God is that place (AA for example) that is presented to me when I need answers to questions I have. My God is found in people, places and things. The spiritual part is when I listen and act upon the conditions that He/She presents to me. Sometimes I must make choices that are not popular with others but the true test of spirituality for me is when I am able to choose myself. Because the truth of it all is when I am living in happiness and joy, I am then capable of giving love and Joy to others. Can't give what I don't have right? Very simple concept.

It is when I don't pay attention to the signs that my God sends me and I resist them that keeps me from a joyful existence. Too many of us remain depressed and unhappy even in sobriety because we continue to go along our merry ways thinking that self sacrifice is the pathway to God. Why would a loving and caring God want us to follow a path that makes us unhappy? Where did we get such a destructive belief?

It has taken me a long time to find the path God wants me to take. And I will admit that it has been difficult at times but I must also state that my inner soul is no longer in that constant state of turmoil because I see now that God only wants happiness for me. Not misery! Spirituality in short is nothing more than paying attention to and taking action on the circumstances presented to us by that wonderful entity I choose to call God. He/She promises us peace and serenity but we are the ones who have actually walk the walk or we will never experience the true joy of life. Sobriety is one of those choices He/She gave us. Thank God I made the choice to listen to that answer.

Happy New Year to you all and may you choose to follow the happy path God presents to you. Love to all.

Stanb2001@aol.com


Member: nathan m.
Location: tuscaloosa    al.
Date: 12/27/99
Time: 3:16:37 PM

Comments

i really apreciate the sharing. i;m in a recovery program right now.and i'm iooking foward to sharing with you'all in the future.


Member: Lisa S
Location: CA
Date: 12/27/99
Time: 3:24:59 PM

Comments

I'm Lisa an Alcoholic. Sober today by the grace of God and the fellowship of Alcohlics Anonymous along with the steps of the program. Spirtuality to me is a gift that my higher power has given me as a result of who knows what. Why some get it and some don't, I don't know. I guess I just surrendered many times over in this program, because I had come up against the choice to move forward and do what was required of me or die. It really was not a choice. I knew what dying was all about, I was there for most of my life and sometimes even in sobriety. But it was never as dark as it was when I was drinking. It wasn't until I really turned my will and my life over to God and accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour that I began to understand. The steps are about surrendering to God not trying to do it myself. I thought that I had to work out the steps, like the 4, 5,6,7 to physically and mentally work those character defects out of me. I was so wrong. I worked so hard and it wasn't until I surrendered those things to God that He vanished them from my existence. Today it comes down to the fact, if I want to keep giving them up, because I will bring them back. God does give us free will. They were my only means of survival(all those character defects). That is why I keep a 10th step inventory and continue to give them up. When I really want them gone and ask him , He will remove them from me. I need to have faith that he will. It is simple. I like to complicate it, thinking I'm the one doing it. "The more we become willing to depend upon a Higher Power, the more independent we actually are" 12X12 p. 36


Member: Chris C.
Location: Ottumwa, Iowa
Date: 12/27/99
Time: 5:07:13 PM

Comments

Thanks for sharing Lisa.

Hello everybody. My name is Chris and I'm an alcoholic.

When I came into the program I was told that if my soul needed saving (which it did) then I was to go to church (which I also did), but if my ass needed saving (which, unfortunately, it did, too) I was to keep coming back.

C.S. Lewis wrote that having religion without a spiritual experience is like having a map of the ocean but never experiencing being in the water. But, he also wrote that having a spiritual experience without religion is like swimming in the ocean without a map. It may be quite the experience but you can't go anywhere.

Bill W. wrote that we are conducting a spiritual kindergarten here in AA. That the use of outside resources was to be encouraged.

AA puts no requirements on our belief of and in God (Thank God, or I never would have made it.) And it also makes no claims of being a religion at all. We start with a higher power, but, we are to progress towards an understanding of "The great reality that is God." For that you must go elsewhere. "There is one who has all power, that one is God. May you find Him, now."

Thanks for reading. I'll pass


Member: Thelma B.
Location: Phila
Date: 12/27/99
Time: 7:52:47 PM

Comments

hi my name is Thelma.I am a alcoholic.recovering only by the grace of God.I'M not sure if I can say that I am a spiritual person or not.I only know that God and A.A. has given me a new life,a new way to live.One day at a time I try to pratice this program to the best of my ability.Working the steps,trying to incorporate them into my life.Asking my Higher Power to do for me what I cannot do for my self.The Big Book told me if I'd pratice these principles in all my affairs the way that they are laid out in the book that there was no way that I wouldn't change.A change of old ideals and behaviors.It told me to change my thinking.If my thinking would change,then my actions would change,and the results would be different. So to me I am continuing to grow on a daily basis as I follow the 12 steps and 12 traditions of A.A. to me that's where my spiriturality comes from.Thank's for letting me share,THELMA


Member: kevinm
Location: fl
Date: 12/27/99
Time: 8:28:23 PM

Comments

kevin alkie,here, cause not all there, its only by the grace of God and the felloship of aa. that I am sober today. I do not know much about spiriturality, so I will share about what i know, I cannot think my way into good actions, I must act my way into good thinking, I had to bring the body, then the mind showed up much later. If I don't pick up the first drink I don't ever and I mean ever seem to get drunk. Next to finding my HP the greast gift I have been given is seeing someone else recover from this illness, to watch them get physicaly better, to see them get their license back, gain employment, to be reunited with familys, to see hope in their eyes, were there once was non, what a jounery!! Not to be missed!!, They told me to stick around until the miracle happens, for me it has, and many more. When I finished my fith step, I was swept over with afeeling of peace that I cannot describe, to be one with the earth and universe, it was nothing short of amazing. I have not had to take a drink since 7/29/94 and that is unreal!! Thanks for letting me share, God if you are reading this thank you!!


Member: Bryan H
Location: Bismarck
Date: 12/27/99
Time: 8:39:38 PM

Comments

Hi, My name is Bryan, I'm an a Addict/alcholic. I have been in and out of treatment since I was 17. I never realy took treatment or A.A. serious, at first I thought it was one big joke. The people at A.A. were always in a good mood, happy to see a new face in the group seamed to be a big deal. I couldn't or maybe I didn't want to figure out how people could live a life without drugs. Useing was my life, I didn't want to give up my love. It was always there for me, it didn't judge the way I looked or make fun at me for the way I dressed. No matter what I did it was always there for me.

I have been sober off and on now for about a year' 6 months was the longest at one time. IT will be 2 months at the end of this month since I have had a drink or joint. It's challenging not to think about that first drink, or that joint that I always had waiting for me after work. I can only take one day at a time, so far so good. Thanks for letting me share my story


Member: Michael B.
Location: Az
Date: 12/27/99
Time: 10:24:02 PM

Comments

Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic, sober today only by the grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome to the newcomers! And thanks everyone for sharing!

One of the beautiful things about the quote JCP cited is that it emphasizes the truth that no one is excluded from the spiritual realm, no matter what they've done in the past. I think we all know what that means for us AA's. But still, in order to truly enjoy the benefits of living in the spirtual realm, we AA's must do certain things, including clearing away the wreckage of the past.

I've mentioned before on this site that some days I do better than others at maintaining conscious contact with God as I understand Him. But I know also from experience, being in concious contact with God is the only true source of the joyousness referred to in the oft-mentioned phrase "happy, joyous, and free" and that this joy is available to all of us if we act on the suggestions of the program.

As far as the discussion about spirituality goes, I had no idea what spirituality was in my earliest sobriety. In fact, I once asked what spirituality was at a meeting where spirituality was the topic. I knew about church, the Bible, the Quran, etc. etc. but I had no conception of spirituality. Today, I have a much better understanding of spirituality and it's real. Admittedly, the spiritual journey is often mystical in experience, but for sure, it's open to all.


Member: Newcomer Joe
Location: Thankful
Date: 12/27/99
Time: 10:25:07 PM

Comments

I am new not only to AA but to this site to. I just want to tell Stanley from Delaware that I am thankful for what he wrote. I have been having a hard time with the Higher Power/Spiritual thing since starting this program. But Stanley helped me to see the difference between religion and spiritual. I was raised to believe that God was not very nice and I should fear him becuz he was going to make sure I went to hell and suffered in the next the life if I didn't do everything the church told me to do. Well I f__ked up so bad by drinking and drugging that I just believed I was doomed to go to hell becuz that is what religion taught me. Then I come to AA and they tell that God will help me. I think to myself "oh right, the church says he will punish me and now you tell me he will help me." I was confused by all of this unitl I read what Stanley B wrote. Now I think I understand and I feel better becuz I think I have a chance now. Thank you Stanley you have given this drunk some hope.


Member: Barb W.
Location:
Date: 12/28/99
Time: 1:02:19 AM

Comments

I'm Barb,An alcoholic.When I came into the program I had a god of my understanding.But my understanding was limited by the bounds of organized religion.I do not criticize this but for me it was a barrier to sobriety.Through working the 12 steps I have had a spiritual awakening.To me this means a total change of attitude.I know now that my self will can run riot at a moments notice so I have to be vigilant in prayer and meditation.Through my daily conscious contact with God I have felt myself open up in the deepest most profound way.God is within meand I try to maintain a sense of one-ness with him. I see God in all people things and in all creation.I no longer seach for him in a building.I seek him at all times and in all places.I am sober today by the grace of god in the fellowship of alcoholics anonymous.I am truly blessed.


Member: Dean S                                    Dean S                                                                           
Location: Phoenix,, Az
Date: 12/28/99
Time: 3:37:36 AM

Comments

Hi! I'm Dean and I'm an alcoholic. Thank you Barb, you have said it simply and straight to the point. You have described my experience exactly. The Big Book tells us that we are not cured of alcoholism, but that we have a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. I have found that daily prayer and meditation not only maintains my spiritual condition, but helps me to grow spiritually, and I remember my Sponsor telling me over and over that there is no such thing as standing still in spiritual growth - either we are going forward or we are going backward. I do not want to risk going backward, I've come too far for that so I shall continue to follow directions one day at a time. Yes, I too have been blessed. Thank you for letting me share.


Member: Rick W
Location: Iowa
Date: 12/28/99
Time: 8:22:07 AM

Comments

Hi my name is Rick and I'm an alcoholic.I always thought I was a religous person. It was usually asking God to get my ass out of jam.After coming into AA my HP which I choose to call God and spirituality had a totally different effect and meaning. Spirituality to me is and are in the meetings I attend.I was told and believe religion is from the outside in and spirituality is from the inside out. I thank God for AA and AA for God. Without those and my spirituality I would not be sober today Thanks for letting me share.HAPPY AND SOBER NEW YEAR!!


Member: Don
Location: nh
Date: 12/28/99
Time: 8:24:37 AM

Comments

Don, recovering alcoholic. Alcoholic because I am, and recovering because I didn't drink yesterday, won't today, if I keep doing what I've been doing for the past 11 years, and I'll even be totally sober, if I let go of other compulsions and character defects.

Great topic. Cherise and StanleyB, near the top, and a lot of people I've heard in AA meetings speak ill of church and organized religion. It's too bad that ambitious, controlling Church People have interfered with the message of spirituality that Jesus intended for us to hear. I didn't exactly resent the CP the way some do who were raised in other denominations, but very certainly I did NOT understand spirituality and I was NOT doing any business with my Higher Power as soon as I was out of my parents' house. It took me a few years in AA to clear up, to understand spirituality, and get it, and some things about Christianity (not the same as CP and rules, and heirarchy)began to come back to me. Before there was AA there was the Oxford Group, and before the Oxford Group, there was a fellowship whose BigBook was The Bible, which defines spirituality, as opposed to worldliness, but it wasn't exactly dwelt upon in most people's churchgoing, as it should have been. See Galatians 5:16-26 for a concise description of the behavior we've been working on in AA, going beyond just not drinking. Also, one of the best descriptions of how our worldly brain works is described in the AA 12/12 book on p. 37 "...instinct and logic always seek to bolster egotism, and so frustrate spiritual development." Chris C, a little later on, mentions CS Lewis, who also wrote "...fooling around with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us is like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mudpies in a slum, because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea". As we mature in AA, and become fully committed to saving our ass, we come to believe we also need to be concerned with saving our soul.

Donaldo88@aol.com


Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 12/28/99
Time: 8:42:59 AM

Comments

being connected ,not by a man made thing to be separate from a man made situation,feeling the sence of the biggest picture,knowing it's being orchestrated by God,knowing His results for me and you are all important,constantly looking for his pressance,acting out His good will sometimes not even knowing why.being ready to give up any of your worldly possesions at any time and still being ok with that.and being grateful to what you do have......those are some of my thoughts on spirituality.....i'm tony..i'm an alcoholic


Member: MARY K
Location: BOSTON
Date: 12/28/99
Time: 9:12:41 AM

Comments

Mary here, True Blue alcy

First I want to thank Stanley from Delaware - you have beautifully put into words a most difficult concept. I don't think I've ever heard it explained better. (Talk about God working through people.)

Throughout my sobriety my experience with Sprituality has taken many different (and sometimes difficult) turns. It doesn't stand still. As soon as I think I've "got it" BAM !!! My higher power throws a curve my way and off I go again on another "growing" experience. Let me tell you - they are NOT all wonderful, but as long as I stay sober and keep putting one foot in front of the other I make it through those dark spots and come out the other side.

As a matter of fact I am in one of those "dark spots" right now. Holidays still have an effect on me even after 11+ continuous years of sobriety. I came into this program loaded down with "baggage". I truly believe that some people drink themselves into alcoholism and others (like myself) were an alcy waiting to happen.

The difference between 11 years ago and now is that today I know that my Higher Power is with me and that this too shall pass. Feeling "icky" does not mean I am bad or that I am doing the program wrong. "Icky" is just a feeling (albeit a not very nice one). For too many years I ran from this program back into the bottle because, as I have often said, I would rather face the insanity of being "out there" than to feel a feeling.

God truly is good. In order to become the woman I am meant to be I must experience all these things - good and bad. And they all pass.

God bless all. Mary


Member: Terri
Location:
Date: 12/28/99
Time: 9:32:55 AM

Comments

Terri, alcoholic. And recovering southern baptist. I was also raised fearing God and believing that I was a "sinful" worhtless person. I came into AA believing that God was in the bushes just waiting for me to screw up and then he was going to zap me with some punishment. The fellowship of AA gave me a loving God who cares about me and only wants me to be happy and joyous and free. In order to have those things I have to follow the the suggestions in the Big Book. Through my spirtiual walk I have been able to go back to church and I have found that God works there and that there is sprituality there too. I have also found that the church has changed in it's teaching's (maybe not all of them) and the church is moving towards an understanding of a God who isnt in the bushes. One thing for sure is that the piece that is missing at church for me is the 12 steps, I need them to clear away the wreckage in order for me to have a clear relationship with God. I am so grateful to this program for giving me an understanding and relationship with God because without it I wouldnt be sober today, thanks for letting me share


Member: richard m
Location: sarasota, florida
Date: 12/28/99
Time: 9:34:55 AM

Comments

hello everyone ..my name is richard, richard m. i am an alcoholic....Today is the calendar date of my last drink ! 5113 days ago ..14 + years..May god bless you and those you love. O.D.A.T. richard m.....


Member: Cathy E
Location: Eugene
Date: 12/28/99
Time: 12:24:47 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Cathy, alcoholic. In this season of festivities, it seems to me that more and more of the spirituality is being left out. Y2K is coming up, too, and all we can do is put our faith in our Higher Power. That's a hard one, especially for me. But life has been getting more and more complicated for me (I am losing my job, starting a new one, trying to "fix" my boyfriend who is still somewhat enamoured with the drug scene and the internet), that my Higher Power has literally taken away my options. I know I can't fix all this, alcohol or no. So I have to "let go and let God". Thank heavens for AA! Happy New Millenium!


Member: Matt L
Location:
Date: 12/28/99
Time: 1:04:16 PM

Comments

Hi my name is Matt and i am an alcoholic/addict. I would like to thank who ever started this site. I am only 17 and find it very hard for me not to take a drink. I was almost 7 months clean when i relapsed. The urge just got to me so i picked up. Is there anything i can do besides go to meetings to stay sober???


Member: Carl K.
Location:
Date: 12/28/99
Time: 1:32:46 PM

Comments


Member: Carl K.
Location: CA
Date: 12/28/99
Time: 1:43:57 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm carl, a recovering alcoholic/addict. This is my first time at this meeting and its really such a blessing. I'm sitting here at work caught up in my own stuff so I decided to check the internet for a meeting. Thanks for being here. My spiritual life has been absolutely incredible since I threw up my hands and pleaded with God to remove the obsession from me. I had been going in and out of programs over a period of time, really using them for shelters because my disease had taken me to homelessness despite having degrees from one of the top universities in the nation. I kept hoping that I would hear something in these programs that would catch me on my fall to death and destruction but nothing I heard was enough to keep me from leaving and going on the next run. Finally, one night, while contemplating leaving another program to start another run, I asked God to please remove the obsession. The next morning the obsession was gone and I actually had "hope"! I fantasized about the kind of life I could have, clean and sober. I saw myself working again, I saw myself with an apartment, I saw myself with sober friends, I saw myself "joyful". Well, I can say after six months I am working, making an upper middle class salary, have a beautiful apartment, have many sober friends, and am experiencing true joy. But most of all, I have this friend, this lover, this companion that is always with me --- My God. He's changed my life in a very big way in a very short time and I love him. All it took was surrendering. I gave my life to God and I give it to him everyday. I often take it back but the pain reminds me that I've taken it back and I quickly surrender, once again, to my higher power and the relief is instant. If you are hopeless and despairing like I was, just cry out to God, with sincerety, and he'll be there for you before you even finish your plea. Thank you God for my new life and thank you AA for being there to help me keep it one day at a time.


Member: stevebreyer@prodigy.net
Location: cincinnati
Date: 12/28/99
Time: 1:51:03 PM

Comments

Hi my name is Steve, I beleive that I am an Incurable alcholic, My first treatment center was when I was 16, I am 37 now and I have had up to 7 years sobriety at one point, after many stints of jail-psychiatric wards,and marriages. I truly came to beleive in something that made me whole and one with myself, and it truly stays with me always. The feeling of peace was all encompassing within my being, and it stays with me today, If any of you have truly felt this you will know. I beleive in the powers of good and evil and have partaken in both, yet the good in our lives lies in the fellowship of my/our brothers the beauty in life is so incredibly wonderful that I can only stand in awe in front of it. Does it keep me sober - NO it does not, I need help from my fellows, I cannot stop drinking for I need to sleep and dream for which my life could have been, AA has physically saved , and given me life. I know what I want and need, That is sobriety , so let us all know that - keep coming back, It works when you work it..Steve


Member: jimmy j
Location: ms
Date: 12/28/99
Time: 2:15:02 PM

Comments

and you know what is bad stanley b? our society continues to promote raising our children with these same fear based beliefs that we grew up with. as an alkie and a former catholic it has been hard for me to get my children to understand that the god that their catholic school tells them about is not the god that i call my higher power. they have told me that god is watching me and will get me if i am not good. it saddens me to think that this is what my kids are learning. so i try my darndest to tell them that fearing god is not the way and that he is all loving and he does not judge but he loves unconditionally. i am so afraid of these destructive negative teachings and pray to my god that my kids will not choose to follow that path. it is only through the belief that god is loving and not judging that i have remained sober. i don't think i would be able to grasp onto the higher power concept if i believed all that fear based junk. that is what spirituality is for me. thanks for letting me share.


Member: Von
Location: OH
Date: 12/28/99
Time: 3:26:56 PM

Comments

I am so thankful for the program of AA and the spirituality present here at the meetings and at this site. Great topic JCP, you always leave me with things to think about!

My early experiences with God, Church, and spirituality were gentle. I grew up in church, having a grandfather who was a priest. He was a gentle, kind, loving man, and he taught us that God is good. Because of life experiences and church teaching, I began to grow up feeling that I had lost God's love because of my behavior. I forgot about the loving part and only remembered the failing and sinning parts. Unfortunately, I grew up in churches that prayed for things, for people who believed that if you wanted something, pray for it. That if good things happened to the family, it was because God was shining down on us, happy because we were praying.

I always loved God. Even in the depths of my disease and misery. I would sit in church and wonder why I felt so far away from Him. Felt abandoned and always felt like I was missing something. I went to church and drank just as much. Believed in God, but worshipped my alcohol more. Had faith in people and good luck, but always blamed God when things went sour.

When I came into the program of AA, I had to reevaluate my whole relationship with God. It wasn't hard for me to believe in a HP, it was just hard to believe that He loved me still. Today, I know that I need spirituality first. But I also know that I need religion, because I need to study 2 Big Books to stay spiritually fit. I need to always remind myself that formal religion is man made and controlled. My friend said it best when he said that in Jesus' time on earth, He was "all over the churches", breaking their laws and rebuking them constantly. But he also went to the church as a young boy to debate the elders. I believe that I belong in church and out of church. In other words, my spirituality is a way of living and being. It doesn't matter where I am. I choose to go to church because it is one of the few places that I can formally honor and praise my God, as well as a place where I can remember that God made the greatest sacrifice, to save our lives. The program of AA is a testament of that.

The best way for me to describe my spiritual journey is to imagine that once I stood in a dark room, but I could see a window with light coming out of it. As I got closer to God, I came right up against the window, but I was turned away from the light. I kept wondering in frustration why I couldn't see through the window. The program of AA helped to turn me around so now I can look out the window into the light. I must work to face the right way, because it won't take much to turn me away from the window, nor will it take much to force me back in a dark corner of the room

Chris, thanks for your comment which describes best how I feel. I paste it here:

"C.S. Lewis wrote that having religion without a spiritual experience is like having a map of the ocean but never experiencing being in the water. But, he also wrote that having a spiritual experience without religion is like swimming in the ocean without a map. It may be quite the experience but you can't go anywhere. "

I wish you all the best this season. Keep your faces pointed to the light. If you still have a major resentment against religion, then it might be time to do another 4th step. Take care of yourselves and have a safe and spiritual New Year.


Member: Tim
Location: Oh
Date: 12/28/99
Time: 4:03:33 PM

Comments

Hi family. Tim, alcoholic here. I was raised in the church and found as I reached my teen years that my desire to rebel against all that I was raised to believe was greater than my commitment to those beliefs. I witnessed others acting in ways which I found contrary to the principles which were being taught in the church. I realize today that my focus had shifted to what others were doing and not on what I needed to live a meaningful life. My acceptance level was very low, and AA has taught me how to live and let live. If I find that religion enhances my spirituality and conciousness of God, then it will be a part of my life in recovery. This has in fact been the case, and as was mentioned earlier, I, too, believe there are 2 Big Books to help direct my life today.

Von, thanks for sharing your exp, strength, and hope. I want to share with you a quote by Helen Keller:

Keep your face to the sunlight and you cannot see the shadow."

We can stay sober with guidance "One day at a time."


Member: kevinm
Location: fl
Date: 12/28/99
Time: 5:46:33 PM

Comments

To mattl, what are you willing to do?? to get and stay sober, be real honest, what are you really willing to do??


Member: Dana G.
Location: South Bend In.
Date: 12/28/99
Time: 6:30:12 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Dana I'm a Alcoholic,I'VE always believed in a higher power but when I was young,to me God was very harsh and a punishing God because I was always getting into trouble and when I got older I left the church. I started drinking and using drugs. I was messing up my life and I didn't care about anything or anyone I was living in the streets,but I was not happy. I just did not care if I lived or died but one day Iknew something had to change.So I started going back to church and started going to meetings through the grace of God and AA and things started going right for me but not all at once. I've been sober for nine years now and things are alot better now.Thanks for letting me share. GOD BLESS YOU All and Happy New Y


Member: KENNETH   N.
Location: KELOWNA  CANADA
Date: 12/28/99
Time: 8:25:56 PM

Comments

HI MY name is KEN N. & i am aLUSH or X lush I've BEEN here 21 years seen alot in my time GOOD times & BAD time FOR the NEW person this time of year is weather YOU really want A.A. for the rest of your life . if U have thoughts JUST remember what your LAST drink was like & how happy U R now . BELEAVE ME , I took 15 YEARS & shit happen I went drinking after all that I am back with a FEW years now . I'M more happier to-day then I have ever been EVERYBODY has at least ONE slip BUT DO you have ANOTHER recovery in U? think about it hard .////// I wish EVERY BODY A VERY HAPPY NEW YEARS FOR 2000 thank you for letting me share KEN N.


Member: RUSTYP.
Location: TEXAS
Date: 12/28/99
Time: 9:07:18 PM

Comments

MY NAME IS RUSTY, I HAVE BEEN SOBER FOR 2 YR AND LOVEING EVERY MINNUTE OF IT. WHEN I LET GO AND LET GOD I HAVE A GOOD DAY. GODBLESS YOU ALL


Member: RUSTYP.
Location: TEXAS
Date: 12/28/99
Time: 9:08:22 PM

Comments

MY NAME IS RUSTY, I HAVE BEEN SOBER FOR 2 YR AND LOVEING EVERY MINNUTE OF IT. WHEN I LET GO AND LET GOD I HAVE A GOOD DAY. GODBLESS YOU ALL


Member: Nikki B.
Location: Poconos, PA
Date: 12/28/99
Time: 9:37:49 PM

Comments

Hi everyone, I am Nikki and I am an alcoholic.

This is a great topic. It took me a while to turn my life over to a power greater then myself. I always new there was something there, but not quite sure how it worked. Learning not to take my will back has been a hard journey. And it is one that I still have not perfected.

Believing that my Higher Power will not lead me in the wrong direction is all I need to know anymore. I have not been let down yet, as long as I am willing to turn it over.

Believing to me is the Spirituality.

Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Jeff F
Location: CA
Date: 12/28/99
Time: 9:39:01 PM

Comments

Hey everyone. I'm Jeff and I'm an alcoholic. This is the first time that I've been here despite being an active sober member of AA for over 17years now. I guess I like to see the faces. The topic interested me enough to come in. In fact this topic always interests me. It took some time in AA to let go of some of the resentments that I held onto around the religious teachings of my youth and when I did finally let them go I was able to see that these teachings were very beneficial in some ways. I learned about values, inegrity, honesty ect... even if I dissagreed with many of the basic concepts. My spiritual progress today is measured by my ability to live within those values that I believe in today. I was lonely and disconnected when I got here and what I found was a group of people who understood and were willing to help. They brought back my spirit with theirs. I'm not looking to blame anything on the teachings of my childhood today. And I'm not looking for any magic when I'm in pain. I have a program and people in my life that allow me to brush the face of a power greater than myself that alows me to be who I am with some semblence of peace. I love AA and I like reading what you guys are writing more than I like writing myself so I'll stop here. Happy New Year and stay safe.


Member: Bones
Location: NE
Date: 12/28/99
Time: 9:47:13 PM

Comments

Bones here, another in this great family of alcoholics. "Let Go and Let God"....I thought I tried to do this as a religiously schooled youngster, but it was some sort of mental experiment, and as such it was as if I was giving up some part of me. Then, paradoxically, found out that, in a sense, my alcoholism was a gift to me, because the REALITY is that a higher power is in control, and I was forced to experience this, or sink deeper into despair and confusion. So I reached out without preconception, and it turns out that this daily act is not me sacrificing my will, but rather being taken into a greater Will, and realm of grace. I feel fortunate to have this experience of being at the service of a higher power. I did today what I feel I was born to do. Sober and clear as spring water today. I am new to this too, but I feel like I've found the treasures I have been seeking, and I am very grateful to be one of us. Thanks to all for sharing, you all help.


Member: Mike F.
Location: Winnipeg Mb
Date: 12/28/99
Time: 10:32:39 PM

Comments

hen i was young, and o so smart, the thought of needing a god or needing to beleive in something miraculus never occured to me. I spent 15 years searching for the something that would make me feel whole. I tried women, drugs, and booze. They all satisfied my appetite for a while. Usually a short while. When i became restless and discontented once again, i would try to fill the void with more. But i always awoke with the same cravings for more of the same. I found myself working for a time cleaning a church, and tried to conect to the power that everyone else seemed to find within its walls. But to no avail. The priest there new i was struggling with an addiction, as well as my own demons. He never pressured me to join his flock, nor to he try to talk with me about my defects. He just loved me for the person i was. Several years later, when i finally threw in the towel, and admitted i was a hopeless alcoholic, i encountered the first people in my life whom i beleived were spiritual. My first AA sponsor taught me that spirituality doesn't have to be complicated. He told me to start by treating other people the way i expected to be treated, pray as often as possible,(especially when i was hungry,angry,lonely,or tired)and try to meditate when i was comfortable enough to do it. one of his stories i remember is: two men wake up on a warm, sunny, summer sunday morning. one is a religous man, the other a spritulist. The religous man goes to church, and the entire time he is there trying to think about god, he is thinking about golfing. The spritual man goes golfing and the entire time he is on the course he is thinking about how wonderful life is and thanks god for the beautiful day. It never occured to me until i was in my second year that i had always been surrounded by spritual people. My father, whom i've never heard complain about his lot in life, or the people he encounters on his journey. My mother, who looked after foster children for years because she beleived they needed to be loved too. The priest who never pressured me into disclosing information about myself when i didn't have the tools to deal with it. The world is full of spiritual people, some attend church, some don't. They are my neighbors, friends and loved ones. My goal today is to maintain my spirtuality,through prayer, meditation and meetings, and to look for ways to help the rest of the people in my life, live easier.

mflood@escape.com


Member: Doug K
Location: West Mich
Date: 12/28/99
Time: 11:08:34 PM

Comments

Hi everybody, my name is Doug, and I'm an alcoholic. There are untold numbers of paths to take in live, and many of them go to the same place, just a different route.

My spiritual condition is contigent upon how closely I live my life in accordance with my beliefs in a higher power. My spiritual condition is also contigent upon my faith in the love and care of my higher power. Kindness, patience, honesty, humility, gratitude, compassion, tolerance, acceptance ( of people and situations); these things and many I've failed to list, are the touchstones to me of spirituality. I can have these, if I have true faith that everything is supposed to be this way at this moment, and I need not understand why.

A.A. gave me this gift...this gift of a real and loving higher power. Here and now... with me every moment - not to look at me as a failure, but to love me more than I am capable of loving anything. What a gift, eh? From the pits of hell to the fourth dimension... this, so far, has been my path.


Member: JACK COOK
Location: AURORA, CO
Date: 12/28/99
Time: 11:54:55 PM

Comments

Hi, everyone! My name is Jack Cook and I am an alcoholic. Welcome to the newcomers!! I just celebrated 14yrs of continous soberiety on Dec 10th. Spirituality is nothing more than understanding between the fact that God is doing for me what I can't do for myself. God, gave me a brain to use and I believe He expects me to use it! God has always spoke to through people. It's my job to understand who's teaching what to do and not what to do. God is not go to do anything for me as long as I act in a selfish, self-seeking, selfserving manner! It took me almost 81/2yrs in this program to figure that out.Ha! Ha! I'm a slow learner and sick. The most important thing I had to learn was. (What does God want me to do)!! Very SIMPLE!!! HE wants me to be of service to his kids!! And to bear witness to HIS/This (AA) WAY OF LIFE!! The Twelve Steps of AA guarantee me a Life without Booze and A Spiritual Awakening. I guarantee every newcomer this: IF YOU GO THROUGH THE TWELVE STEPS OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS!! YOU WILL COME TO LIVE A LEVEL OF LIFE BETTER THAN ANY LEVEL LIFE YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW!! AND I'll do in my own hand-writing and in my own BLOOD!! GREAT MEETING!! THANKS FOR LETTING ME SHARE.


Member: Sara
Location: New England
Date: 12/29/99
Time: 12:32:13 AM

Comments

Why is it that nobody believes God wants us to be kind to ourselves? Why is that selfish and wrong? It seems to me that God wants me to treat myself with the same respect and dignity he treats me with so that I have the ability to treat others in that same manner... I am so tired of sitting in AA meetings and church sessions and listening to people beat themselves or others up all night long. All I ever hear anymore are things like:

"I am not worthy." "I am powerless over everything." "I don't know anything." "I am just a stupid drunk."

Does this program really carry the message of self degradation? Statements like these are certainly not a sign of humility but rather the epitomy of humiliation. Quite frankly I am done humiliating myself! I did that for 20 years while drinking and I don't need to sit in AA meetings or church degrading myself because its what everyone else does. How can any of us say we love God if we do not actively love what he has created (ourselves). Spirituality is not about what one believes but rather it is about what one feels. My spirituality comes when I feel loving about myself...That is when I am filled with God's grace and I then can be loving to others.

So I guess if that makes me selfish, then I am selfish and I am not ashamed to say that it is the very reason I live in JOY today. You ought to try it sometime it works. The constant bashing of ourselves with negative statements only serves to keep us down. Isn't this program about getting out of the gutter and walking with our head high? I guess not anymore! Because everytime I try to talk about this I get beat up by all those out there that believe beating ourselves up is what works. That sort of self destruction did nothing more than keep me drunk!

So I will piss many off by saying this but here it goes. I LOVE ME and I thank God for helping find that wonderful person I always knew existed. I am not about to let that go because of the popular belief that demeaning ourselves gets us closer to God. It never got me anything but closer to the bottle. Thank you God!


Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 12/29/99
Time: 1:59:42 AM

Comments

Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic, sober today only by the grace of God and the Fellowship.

Normally, I don't post twice, but I felt the need to make a few comments about the ongoing religion vs. spirituality discussion. First, I think one major intended function of religion is to introduce people to spiritual ideas and help them develop spiritual values and a spiritual life. In other words, humans were not created for religion, rather religion was created for the benefit of humans. From this perspective, then, those of us who have grievances against specific religious dogmas, such as those mentioned above, have legitimate complaints.

On the other hand, I think we AA's should try to remember that certain members of the clergy were instrumental in supporting the development of the AA program in the formative years and that many churches have opened their doors for AA meetings since the early days of AA.


Member: Cindy O
Location: BC
Date: 12/29/99
Time: 4:58:19 AM

Comments

Hi..I'm Cindy and I'm a recovering alcoholic. This is what i've learned about spirituality through attending AA meetings and sharing with friends I've met along the journey. 1. There is a God who loves me 2. He is always there 3. I need to look to him for answers 4. I don't have to go to church to talk to him 5. He can be trusted!


Member: Dave B
Location: Havre de Grace, MD
Date: 12/29/99
Time: 7:10:04 AM

Comments

Hi all. My name is Dave and I am a very grateful alcoholic - when I remember to be grateful that is. Thanks for a great topic, and thanks to all who share.

To me, spirituality is gaining an understanding of a higher power, whom I choose to call God, and trying to accept his will for me. This has been hard for me as I never seem to give him enough time to respond. I tend to put him on a stopwatch, and decide to help him since he is too busy for me. Of course the results are not what I had hoped for. When I let him work in his time, the results are much more positive. Why is it that I seem to always need to relearn this simple lesson??

I also believe that spirituality is but one piece (albeit a large one) of this program. Our individual and group actions are equally important. Trying to do the best we can "today" is really all we have. Knowing we do not have to do this alone, that we can call on our higher power for help, and knowing that our "needs" will be met, is my understanding of spirituality. The sometimes painful reality that we get what we "need" only after we do the footwork is another lesson I need constant reminding of.

Sara - Thanks so much for sharing. It was a wake up call for me. I have been falling into that pit, and don't like it. I think it is no more than the manifestation of the statement that alcohol is cunning, baffling and powerful (and I believe patient). It is my stinking thinking returning due to my own complancy in this beautiful program. I have been wanting my higher power to do for me what I can do for myself. I guess it sometimes appears easier to just beat myself up than to get off my butt and do something constructive in the program. Thanks again, I needed that.

Again - to all-- Thanks for being there. God Bless you all.


Member: Pete
Location: Espoo Finland
Date: 12/29/99
Time: 8:16:04 AM

Comments

Hi..I'm Pete and I am an alcoholic.


Member: NATHAN  M.
Location: TUSCALOOSA   AL.
Date: 12/29/99
Time: 8:58:49 AM

Comments

HI.NATHAN AGAIN.I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT BEING IN THIS GROUP.I'VE ALREADY STARTED FEELING BETTER ABOUT MYSELF; EVEN THOUGH I KNOW IT'S GONNA BE AN UPHILL CLIMB. BUT I FEEL CONFIDENT THAT IF I KEEP COMING BACK ; I'LL IMPROVE. SO THANK YOU'ALL FOR SHARING AND CONTINUE TO DO SO BECAUSE I'TS HELPING.


Member: Jean-Claude T.
Location: Belgium
Date: 12/29/99
Time: 9:09:07 AM

Comments

My name is JC and I’m an alcoholic.

Thanks for the topic JCP. I think I began to grasp a little bit of spirituality when I started to thank “Whoever You are up above” (I choose to call Him God) for the blessings of my day instead of beggin’ for more material things.

Thanks for letting me share. Happy Y2K!!! jc.toller@euronet.be - ICQ 36308407.


Member: Dianne
Location: mt. top
Date: 12/29/99
Time: 9:15:13 AM

Comments

Hi everyone! Dianne, alcoholic and glad I didn't drink yesterday. Pray I don't today. Sara.... you are not alone in your thouhgts. When I remember there is a bit of bad in the best of things and a bit of good in the worst, I accept that the people in the program can twist it up to fit their selfish needs at anytime and anyday. I have seen alcoholism used as an excuse for all kinds of bad intentions. It is all part of the deal here. We must learn to sift thru the S--t. We can be an example for others who get tired of this way of letting the disease run lives. I too had to learn to love myself and forgive myself for being human of all things and then I could look beyond those stuck in the rationalizing. This was a huge phase in my growth in this program. Tougher at times than putting down the drink. It drove me closer to my source of strength and courage....my god! Hang in and it will change for you. Cos you are willing to be rigorously honest. They say that's what it takes isn't it.. Thanks for sharing !


Member: Jessie
Location: Ventura
Date: 12/29/99
Time: 11:09:14 AM

Comments

Yo, Michael B..wake up and smell the coffee. Do tell us all just how telling an impressionable 5,6,7,8,9.....year old that God is going to condemn them to hell if they do not do exactly what religion tells them to do. How is that serving as a positive spiritual base for any kid? Frankly it does nothing but scare the hell out them! So spare us all the excuse that religion provides us with good spiritual values. What it provides is a bunch of scare tactics used to control people. A spiritual life is being at one with God not being driven away from God because we fear him. As I said before, "Religion is for weak minded people who have to be told what to do in life." Spirituality is for those strong enough to walk away from these fear tactics and trust that God will be with them always. No kid should be subjected to the fear based trash that is taught in many religions. I wish my kids could go to AA just so they could get a taste of what God really is all about (love and kindness).


Member: CHARSE    B.
Location: B,HAM,AL.
Date: 12/29/99
Time: 11:24:15 AM

Comments

HI, I,M CHARSE, ALCOHOLIC/DRUG ADDICT. I,VE BEEN DRINKING AND DRUGGING SINCE AGE 13; I,M 44 NOW.I,M PRESENTLY IN REHAB; TVAMC, TUSCALOOSA,AL.THIS IS MY SECOND TIME BEING HERE;THE FIRST TIME WAS FOR THE WRONG REASONS.THIS TIME I,M GETTING WHAT I NEED.I RELAPSED BECAUSE I STOPPED PRAYING,GOING TO MEETINGS AND BEING AROUND SOBER MINDED PEOPLE.AS LONG AS I KEEP GOD FIRST,DO HIS WILL AND STAY OUT OF MY WILL,ATTEND MEETINGS AND SOCIALIZE WITH SOBER-MINDED PEOPLE,I WILL BE OK.IT IS WRITTEN"RARELY DOES A PERSON FAIL WHO THOROUGHLY FOLLOWS THE PATH".THIS TIME,BY GOD,S GRACE,I WILL STAY ON THE PATH.THANK,S FOR LETTING ME SHARE. CHARSE B. ,B,HAM,ALABAMA.


Member: Dennis P.
Location: Wisconsin
Date: 12/29/99
Time: 3:28:15 PM

Comments

Hi All, My name is Dennis and I am an alcoholic. Sara, I can understand how you are turned off by your meeting if " degredation " is ALL you hear. It sounds to me as if the people who attend your present meeting are more interested in being pitied than helped. There are numerous meetings with recovering alcoholics and many more numerous practicing alcoholics out there who are eagerly willing and waiting to listen, help and be helped. Seek them out. You have a great deal to share and should not let a few spoil the gift that you have to help the many. Thanks for allowing me to share and with that I'll pass.


Member: Stanley B
Location: Delaware
Date: 12/29/99
Time: 4:22:25 PM

Comments

Sorry for the double post. I promise not to do it again but I just had to say something here.

SARA - You are right on! I can't tell you how much your post helped me. I have wasted so much time degrading myself as a direct result of my fears. I finally learned that those fears that I allowed to control me, were actually rejections of God's plan of joy for me. It wasn't till I finally took the action to choose "ME" for once that the true grace and joy of God came into my life.

Thank you again for your honesty and display of self love. You just keep being selfish if that is what it takes. It sure does feel good to choose ourselves for once doesn't it. If you want to chat more about this please e-mail me.

Thanks for tolerating my 2nd post gang.

Stanb2001@aol.com


Member: Marty VR
Location: Boston
Date: 12/29/99
Time: 4:57:38 PM

Comments

I'm Marty, an alcoholic, an old chick born 1935, same year as Bill and Bob founded AA - and sober since 1968 - a miracle. It now seems to me, that all the world's major organized religions, whatever their view, PROMISE attainment of individual spir- ituality and communion with God - OUR 11TH STEP - continuous improvement in our conscious contact with God. But it was only with sobriety and the fellowship of other alcoholics that I could clear up enough to understand that. I find, as so many of you have said, that if I consciously (several times a day because I am willful and hardheaded) turn over my will, accept what God presents to me that day, that I experience spirituality - closer contact with the God of my understanding - stress free living. It is so good to share with you - my AA family. Have a blessed New Year - one day at a time. Marty


Member: Frannie C.
Location: Getting closer to God
Date: 12/29/99
Time: 9:09:44 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Fran and I'm an alcoholic! This spirituality stuff has baffled me for so long. I remember having felt those butterflies in my stomach before cuz, I had felt my higher powers love, to searchinf in books to try and find what I believe in. Today, I still find it difficult to 'swallow" the GOD word. so, whenever I hear it I replace it with "Great Spirit" I found that when I say "Great Spirit" I feel love and warmth. I feel really good. I have recently started to notice thou, that as I'm praying I use the "God" when asking for direction, or guidence. Strange? It just shows me that I'm still confused and that my God is not yet a loving god that can love me and guide me. I believe that all comes from my childhood. At least I notice it now. I feel as though I'm a human being trying to have a spiritual experience.(borrowed from someone) If i just try to do the next best thing for all involved it seems to help. It is alot easier for me to help you, and you and you. But, I find it difficult to help me sometimes. That is my nurturing (co-dependency). Matt, I suggest to you to seek out other people in your home group that are active. I found a friend in the beginning that we hung out all the time. We went to meetings together, camping, movies, coffe houses, even to Las Vegas not long ago. If it wasn't for her, AA and other caring people in this program I would't of made it this far. All I know is I just keep tring and I do belivev in a power great than myself. Thanks for letting me share. This was my first time here., and with winter here it makes it difficult to get out. HHave a happy,sober new year!!!


Member: eileen.williams@searhc.org
Location: metlakatla alaska
Date: 12/29/99
Time: 10:56:52 PM

Comments

My name is Eileen I'm an Alcoholic and of course other addictions-but an alcoholic from the start-I am glad to be able to add my comment I haven't had a real meeting in awhile as I am home for the holidays with my family this may be the last memoriable one for my father as he has altimers disease and it has been very spiritual for me and i know GOD is here with us-my family is on an island here in se alaska which is also the only reservation in alaska-this is why there is no aa here most villages don't have the convenance of meetings like we do in the cities-but i sure was glad to find this on webtv-this is the first sober christmas i have ever had in several years and i mean several-and it is a blessing for me for once to be with my family sober and i love it very much i wouldn't trade it for a million dollars today i get to work on my anger and other behaviors i accuired through building a crisis to get high and today i don't have to do that anymore i get to just relax and enjoy life and learn to accept it as it comes and its ok. anyway Thanks everyone and a Happy Millinimun


Member: Clint B.
Location: Europe
Date: 12/30/99
Time: 4:14:27 AM

Comments

Hi, Clint here, recovering (for life) and an alcoholic. There is some truly awesome sharing going on here. 9 months ago I couldn't say that. I would see only people forcing their ideas on me...how dare they!!! What a joke I was then. Now, thanks to a loving God as I know him, all I see are other alcoholics like me. It's through this program that I have learned that we are all children of the universe...equals in the eyes of God. I have met, and sometimes can be, people who beat themselves up, are extremely stubborn in their beliefs, angry all the time etc.. I have come to understand that there is nothing wrong with them, their just alcoholics working (or not) their program the best way they know how and I truly love them for it. They are making choices. Sometimes those choices are choices I wouldn't make but we all are following that wonderful path of recovery. Each one of us at our own speed. My HP is caring, giving, understanding and very tolerant. My HP is different from other peoples because he is how I understand him. HE has shown me that my understanding and acceptance of MY spirituality is a slow and sometimes painful process. Works for me!! I love this program, my HP and especially all you wonderful recovering people. Keep coming back, I need you.


Member: Paul Q
Location: Toronto
Date: 12/30/99
Time: 7:31:04 AM

Comments

Growing down....Ego deflation...

We are a unique breed, full of self....and the"PATH" contained in the "BIG BOOK" helps me to shift from self to spirit.....what a gift....

NOTE: Long before the BIG BOOK was wriiten we worked one on one in Dr Bob's house and they used Anne's Dr Bob's wife)bible.....

The Four absolutes look into your history of AA people......it all came from the Bible...

Drop the prejudced attitudes(logs and signs)...

AA took me out of hell but will not get me into heaven.........


Member: Paul Q
Location: Toronto
Date: 12/30/99
Time: 7:32:12 AM

Comments

Growing down....Ego deflation...

We are a unique breed, full of self....and the"PATH" contained in the "BIG BOOK" helps me to shift from self to spirit.....what a gift....

NOTE: Long before the BIG BOOK was wriiten we worked one on one in Dr Bob's house and they used Anne's Dr Bob's wife)bible.....

The Four absolutes look into your history of AA people......it all came from the Bible...

Drop the prejudced attitudes(logs and signs)...

AA took me out of hell but will not get me into heaven.........


Member: Jessie
Location: Ventura
Date: 12/30/99
Time: 10:18:41 AM

Comments

Paul Q - Get the heck off your pulpit and stop preaching religion on this site!! This is an AA meeting not a church group. Please don't preach the Bible to us!!! The Bible and the Big Book are 2 completely different documents please don't confuse the newcomers into believing that the Bible is the basis for AA. It AINT!!!

Good god (oops) if the Bible was really all we needed why didn't we have AA way back whenever. For that matter we would not have needed a program. So do us a favor and keep your religious babble to yourself!!!!


Member: Mary-Kate
Location: NYC
Date: 12/30/99
Time: 11:17:01 AM

Comments

Jessie: Please don't use anger here, I don't think you would "yell" at Paul Q in a meeting and if you did, everyone there would tell you to stop taking other people's inventory. My spiritual path just happens to include Jesus Christ as my personal savior. I don't talk about it much at meetiungs, except to use "Jesus, who is my higher power" in reference. I don't expect you or anyone in the meetings to convert, because our steps say "God as we understand Him" but I do feel responsible as a Christian to use His name in case anyone wants to know Him better, they can talk to me and come to my church with me. Jessie, I hope you have a Higher Power and I don't care who or what he or she is, as long as he or she is keeping you sober. Mine works for me and I feel I have a right to share Who that person is in meetings, without preaching, I hope. Each of us is free to find what works, but just for the record, please look into the Oxford Group and the history of AA and you will see that our program does have Judeo-Christian roots, but thank God we all don't have to believe in those roots to stay sober!!! God bless and thanks for letting me share!!!


Member: Jessie
Location: Ventura
Date: 12/30/99
Time: 12:20:26 PM

Comments

Mary-Kate...you don't know me so don't make assumptions about what I would do or not do in a meeting. I would say the same to his face in a meeting cuz I don't have to put up with religious preaching in an AA meeting. I am there to get sober not be "christianized." And the same goes for your babbling religious garbage "KEEP IT OUT OF AA" This is a spiritual program....Oops guess you forgot an important part of our preamble. Let me remind you, "AA is not aligned with sect, DENOMINATION, politics, organization or institution." READ IT AND WEEP!!!! May god help us if we ever do align ourselves with any religion. Keep your theological BS to yourself!

PS your attempt to show us all how educated you are by associating AA roots to YOUR christianity is pitiful. Perhaps you should keep the intellect (or lack thereof) out of it and just work the steps. Your best thinking got you into the thros of alcoholism - remember?


Member: Mary-Kate
Location: NYC
Date: 12/30/99
Time: 1:09:38 PM

Comments

"Nor does it engage in any controversy"

Sorry folks, my live and let live switcher must be broken today...

Happy New Year!


Member: Denise Rose
Location: DesertRoses70267@aol.com
Date: 12/30/99
Time: 3:46:55 PM

Comments

Hi everyone! I'm Denise Rose and I'm a recovering alcoholic. I've never had such a wonderful life as I do now. When I surrendered to my Higher Power and came to AA, I found what I had been missing all this time. I'm so glad that I am powerless over people, places and things. I'm grateful that I can turn everything over to my Creator. Powerlessness does not mean weakness to me. It means surrending my will to Creator and trusting that everything in my path today is through His will. I have only to trust and follow through. I used to think I was in control of everything when I was drinking. What a crock. I was also a professional victim. If you and everything around me didn't upset me, I wouldn't have to drink. Selfish, self-centered and self-will run riot!

Today I have received so many blessings. I start every day asking Creator to help me stay sober and I thank him every evening for this gift.

The holidays have been a true blessing, enabling me to spend my time with my family and friends in gratitude for the peaceful season.

May you and yours enjoy the end of this year. Take a little time to reflect on your many gifts received through your HP. And know that HP's blessings are all around us!

Stay Safe, Happy, Joyous & Free!

Love,

Denise Rose


Member: Andi
Location: WI
Date: 12/30/99
Time: 4:50:12 PM

Comments

Hi Andi here and I am alcohlic. To Mary-Kate and Jessie (whoever you really are) Ventura, PLEEEEEASE let it go in peace. Enough already!

Sara, I can really relate to your posting a lot and hope that we in AA would not continue that destructive path of self hatred. It also took me a long time to realize that the program and God were teaching how to love myself because it was self hatred that got me into this mess to begin with. If I learned self love successfully, I could then pass it on to others. Can't tell you what a freeing experience that has been for me.

To my buddy Stanley B, you have done it again my friend. You described what spirituality is for me. It is actually listening to the answers God gives me through people, places, things and circumstances (my little addition)and then acting on them. Any choice that I make as a result of my fears is a direct rejection of my HP's guidance. It only comes back to haunt me again and again in different forms, but it will never go away until I make the choice out of love. Sometimes my love choices are not popular with others (like my X-Husband), but the point is pretty simple. I must take care of ME in order to be of any value to others. My children are seeing this first hand now (since my divorce) and our relationship is growing stronger. I thank God and this program for giving me the wisdom to know that "I AM A GOOD CHOICE."

Thanks for letting me share. Happy New Year


Member: albert s.
Location: TUSCALOOSA  AL.
Date: 12/30/99
Time: 5:14:02 PM

Comments

hi,my name is albert sistrunk .i am at this point and time going through the ups and downs of recovery.I have found out that this is not an easy task.I am asking anyone for more insight on their personal tools for maintaining daily soberity.


Member: Bryan.M
Location: N.Port,FL
Date: 12/30/99
Time: 6:46:11 PM

Comments

Hey Al 'change the people places and things you do and you will start to see achange.THIS IS MY FIRST ON LINE AA MEETING.


Member: Aimster
Location: Danbury, CT
Date: 12/30/99
Time: 8:08:02 PM

Comments

When I first started coming to meetings the people there told me to beleive in anything I wanted to. They said I could beleive in a tree if I wanted to. I understood that. For 7 years living in Venice Beach CA. my higher power was the ocean. No human could ever stop a wave from crashing on the shore and I saw a lot of power and strength in that. I now live on the east coast and I'm struggling with my conception of God. For me it's nature and all her beauty and whenever I see something beautiful I am reminded of God. All you have to do is beleive in something and the rest will follow.


Member: Jaime G.
Location:
Date: 12/30/99
Time: 8:25:07 PM

Comments

Hi, my name is Jaime G. and I'm an alcoholic. This is my first online type of meeting. Actually to be honest, it is my first meeting in six months and 1yr 1/2 before that. By the grace of God and me, I will be sober 10 years 1/1/00. Many old timers would frown on me not attending meetings regularly and also frown on the reasons for my lack of attending meetings...well anyway on to the subject at hand.

I strongly believe in what Sara had to say/write. I feel I was one of the lucky ones to find spirituality soon after I got sober. In my opinion, Spirituality is self-love and trust in a Higher Power to my understanding. And as a result, I was very motivated and work the Steps and did everything that my Sponsor suggested of me. The bottom line for me was that during my early years in sobriety, I was absolutely positive and knew with all my heart that I was going to be alright! With that knowledge, I started small - stood up in a meeting and said my name - believe me that was a big big deal to say. Afterward, I was just so happy I faced that fear. To me, it was the PROOF I needed that I do love myself and I'm willing to change. From there on, there was no stopping me. I was able to face most every challenge, road block, or good things. One of my biggest risks was to allow good things to happen to me, for I didn't believe I deserve it.

It is with this believe, this love I have for myself that I've taken a hiatus from AA. Similar to Sara, I could no longer take the negativity I felt at AA meetings. I wanted to soar, but people in all the AA meetings I would go to, dragged me down. The final decision that I needed to move on was after a man with 17 years Chaired a meeting he used to secretary when he was a newcomer. Anyway, he berated the size of the meeting and just about everything else happenening in AA today. A beautiful thing happened when I made my decision. I became selfish and I grew up. That was 3yrs ago. My spirituality has continued to evolve.

Sara had said she was selfish. There was this nice quote I like..."You must first be selfish before you can be generous"

Thank you for letting me share.


Member: Jim
Location: So. Calif.
Date: 12/30/99
Time: 8:32:43 PM

Comments

My name is Jim, and I am a grateful recovering alcoholic. Spiritualality is such a terrific topic. Were it not for my higher power, whom I choose to call GOD, I would not be alive today.

When I first came to this program I was told that it was a spiritual program, and not a religeous one. I have found over the years that one person's conception of a Higher Power, is not necessarilly the same as that of the next person.

In my opinion, anyone can believe in any higher power that they choose to, and if it keeps them sober, that is the bottom line. It doen't matter if that higher power is GOD, JESUS CHRIST, a bolt of lightning, or a tree stump. If it works for you, and you don't drink, you are a success. I don't even have a problem if someone states that they attend a church.

On the other hand, if someone tells me that I should believe a certain way, or I should attend a particular church, that's where I draw the line. Then the program no longer is suggestive(as is it's intent), but it begins to sound mandantory.

I have read the postings, and not one person wrote that anyone else should believe as they do, or should attend their church. I never even saw a religeon mentioned.

John Q.--You mentioned your beliefs, and stopped short of preaching a religeous belief. Good for you.

Mary Kate----- You had nothing but glowing words to say about your higher power. That you would continue to mention that power is wonderful. This is a program of attraction rather than promotion, and giving credit to that higher power is real growth on anyone's part. KEEP ON KEEPING ON. If anyone has problems with it, then it is their problem.

In the 19 years I have been sober, I have attended enough meetings to see more newcomers, turn away, from listening to anger and bitterness, and have yet to see someone leave because somebody else spoke of their higher power as being GOD or anything else. (by the way, I don't even attend church regularly), but I do have a very deep faith in that higher power(whom I call GOD), and again if anyone has a problem with that, then it is their problem.

This is a sight meant for topic discussion, and not for anger, critisizm, or resentments toward one another. Though it may be difficult some times, Mary Kate alluded to something that we all forget from time to time, to "live and let live".

I hope everyone has a very Happy New Year(century, milleniun). In closing I would like to share something I heard a speaker share, "Our sobriety is a daily reprieve, contingent upon our spiritual maintinance". God bless. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Dennis
Location: WI
Date: 12/30/99
Time: 8:41:06 PM

Comments

Dennis here, Alcoholic. Congratulations Albert!! You are asking for help and that is definitly a step towards a real recovery. Keep It Simple. DON'T TAKE THAT FIRST DRINK. Remember,for us, ONE DRINK IS TOO MANY AND ONE HUNDRED IS NOT ENOUGH!!!! As part of my personal recovery I ask my HP for help every morning and thank him every night. Helps me. Stay with us. There is a lot of support out there.


Member: kevinm
Location: fl
Date: 12/30/99
Time: 11:24:42 PM

Comments

a;bert, don't drink and go to meetings, how many you ask?? until you want to go, i went to 90 in 90, then 90 more then 90 more, before you know it i was sober for three years, I stll go, my sobirety date is 7/29/94, by the grace of God and the fellowship of aa , i did not drink today, and that's a miracle, for this alkie. Happy New Year, God bless you all,peace and love in the spirit, " Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Spirit, and you will surley meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny. May God bless you and keep you --until then. "


Member: Dean S
Location: Phoenix,  Az
Date: 12/31/99
Time: 5:17:33 AM

Comments

My name is Dean and I'm an alcoholic. I've read all the posts for this meeting, including my previous one (please forgive this), and I have concluded that there is enough spirituality in this group to insure the continued existence of this meeting and AA as a whole for a long long time. If I live through the rest of this day I will begin the New Year without having to Plea Bargain with God on New Years Day. It didn't work before and I'm sure it wouldn't work now. Thanks to AA I do not have to resolve to "cut back?" on my drinking. My resolution this year is to pray that I may be more loving, and more concerned for the well being of my fellow man. Perhaps in the coming year we can all become more loving and adopt an attitude of "Let it begin with me". Thank you for allowing me to share and have a sober, safe and happy new year. I love you. God Bless.


Member: Jay
Location: Rural Wisconsin
Date: 12/31/99
Time: 5:42:09 AM

Comments

Hi, room, and thank you all for being here right now for me. My name is Jay and I'm an alcoholic.

I see that the topic is "Spirituality" and all the derivations thereof; and this seems to always bring on a spate of comments about mixing religion with AA, problems that we have had in the past about getting/keeping/finding our own higher powers, and the like. Over the years, it does seem as though we continue to struggle with many of the same issues, repeatedly. That doesn't mean that we shouldn't struggle with them. I bring it up because as we struggle through these issues, it's important that we use the tools that the program has given us, i.e. live and let live, etc. I hear my old NYC sponsor saying "What keeps me sober, might get you drunk.." "First things first", and "Principles before personalities..".

Even as I write these words, I'm reminded that these were hard lessons for me to learn. So often after meetings, even sometimes during a meeting, under my breath to the person next to me, depending on who it was, I might utter an uncomplimentary comment. My experience has been that in the long run, those actions kept me further away from the peace that I was seeking for myself.

I'm honestly glad to have been able to read the thoughts and comments you have all shared these past days, because it's helped me reconnect with my emotional and spiritual center, and that is one of the great gifts that AA has brought me. Someone once told me, and I'm sure so many of us have heard it umpteen times, especially in early sobriety when so often our whole world is crashing down in on us, that "it gets better..." After I was able to finally get and stay sober, after a few tries, I have to say, it has. However, the second part of that statement is "..then it gets different..!" And man, is that ever the truth.

Seems to me that the whole point of sobriety is learning how to hang on through the parts that are getting different until you get to the parts that are getting better. However, over time again, I've noticed, that what is better today becomes different tomorrow, and vice versa. And I've gotta stay sober through the whole thing, because based on my past history, which is so easy to see and document, as soon as I pick up a drink, everything starts to get worse, because I can't stop drinking, and I absolutely lose control. We all know that downward spiral. For some of us, that line isn't always that clear- the line that begins with the first drink, and inevitably leads to the bottom. Some of us see it quickly, and others never do. Thing about it is, I can't see it for you, and you can't see it for me. Bill talks about this- how we each need to reach our own bottoms, or you'll never be able to get the program.

Where the miracle occurred for me was when I allowed myself to open up to accepting and believing that there is, was and always will be, a force in the universe so great and so powerful that wanted only the best for me, and absolutely, unconditionally loves me, and has put into place a system that would help me. I honestly was not able to stay sober until I came to believe that very basic fact.

Now I'm not one that's big on organized anything, much less any one form of religion or belief system over another- I honestly don't care. I just know, I remember very clearly- for sure, I still have to work through alot of it- how much self-hatred, self-pity, and low self-esteem I had when I finally sat down, shut up and listened to the speaker in the front of the room. I can still remember him talking about how he had to get out of the driver seat, and allow God to take control. Man, I had my issues, too.... but now I've found that so much has been smoothed over and made like new, as I surrender my will. We talk about this in meetings every time we read "How it works". Thing is, I have to keep at it. Seems like sobriety only works, when I work at sobriety.

You know, as I look back on it, I couldn't see it then, but it's so clear now.... I found that "new freedom" Bill talks about- it began when I let go, and let God.

I wish so badly that I could give that away, that I could just make some struggling young newcomer see how easy it could be, and how light the load was for me after I just simply gave it up. But that very thing is what makes it so strong, so special, and why I've never had to pick up since then- I came to believe, not a great, cataclysmic religious thing; but just a simple basic, honest- even desperate- understanding. There is a God. I am not it.

I went on way too long tonight, and I apologize. I'm such an alky, and I love it! I thank God He led me to the rooms, allowed me to see who and what I am, and gives me just what I need when I need it. I needed to get close to my bottom again tonight, to keep it green, as I look back on not only the year, but as we roll over another century. What a great time!

You know, with all this media hoopla over the greatest, the best, the brightest of the century- I think all that is so misdirected. Think of how many millions and millions of lives have been touched, and improved, how many spiritual journeys have begun through the working of this program- to me, that's the true spirituality- the spirit working through each one of us, to help each other. If you read through this this far, thanks for letting me go on... it has helped me tonight so much. Shalom!


Member: timn
Location: Virginia
Date: 12/31/99
Time: 9:19:23 AM

Comments

Tim here - garden variety drunk. I must say that spirituality has made the difference for me in this program. Of all the times in the past that I had tried to quite on my own, it never worked until I surrendered to my higher power and let Him take the burden. I am new to the program and today is day 22. It has truly been a miracle. I have shared my experience with family and close friends and everyone one wants to know how I am "doing it". Thats just it: I am not. This is only possibly through my higher power. So, to me, spirituality has everything to do with my success in this program. Thanks for reading!!!!


Member: Cheri P.
Location: TX
Date: 12/31/99
Time: 3:12:13 PM

Comments

Hi-I'm Cheri, an alcoholic. I'm so grateful I found this site! I've been sick and unable to attend a meeting for a week. It's tough! This topic is perfecr, of course, just what I needed to hear. I got sober once before for 3 years, the best of my life, but it was soooo much easier as a single person, this time I'm married. My first drink was on my wedding night followed by 7 more years of drinking. Now, I am almost sure a divorce is in the cards. I don't feel like I can emotionally handle it right now. I keep turning it over, but I can see with so much more clarity how messed up my marriage is, now. I would love to go to couples counseling but my husband would never agree. "It doesn't work, tried it twice with my fist wife", he says. I know and respect the suggestion not to make any drastic changes in the first year (I have 5 months, now) but, it looks like I may not have a choice about this. I am in individual counseling, but any other suggestions would be appreciated! This is so hard! Thanks for listening.-Cheri P.


Member: Blair E.
Location: Penns Woods
Date: 12/31/99
Time: 7:33:26 PM

Comments

Hi everyone my name is Blair and I am an alcoholic. I would like to say something for Albert S., Here is how it works for me. God gave me alcoholics anonymous,through working the 12 steps I found God. This is a process,give it your heart and all things will be revealed. Thanks for letting me share,Blair E.


Member: Cheri V.
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Date: 12/31/99
Time: 11:31:13 PM

Comments

Hi, Cheri, alcoholic. The spirituality I found in the rooms has enabled me to realize that there is a loving god who forgives my worst actions, and I need to pactice loving kindness and forgiveness toward myself and others. Thanks for letting me share. 1st time at this site.


Member: Jeanie
Location:
Date: 1/1/00
Time: 8:47:42 AM

Comments

Hi, my name is Jeanie and I'm an alcoholic. I've been in the program 14 months and I had a spiritual experience after my first AA meeting. Before I came to AA, I believed in God and I belived he could do anything he wanted to do. I just didn't believe he would necessarily do anything for me. At my first AA meeting, someone said "If you want to stop drinking and you're having trouble stopping, as God to help you. Even if you don't believe in God or you don't believe he'll help you, ask him anyway. Just try it". When I went home that night, I asked God to help me stop drinking because I knew I couldn't stop myself, and since then, I haven't had the daily craving to drink. Sometimes when I get scared or angry, I still get that overwhelming feeling that I need a drink, but I ask God to help me get past that feeling and it always goes away quickly. Once I realized that God took away my craving and he would continue to help me not drink, I began asking him to help me in other areas of my life. He's helped me through some pretty rough situations that, in the past, would have resulted in my staying drunk for days, and he's made this year the happiest of my life.


Member: Suzanne R
Location: Concord Cailifornia
Date: 1/1/00
Time: 12:28:13 PM

Comments

First time to this site. Glad your all here. I dont have alot of time to get out to meettings Kids and all) I think I have a knew freind. I call god, god. His name should be LUCKY cause any time you say, oh I was lucy, it was probably god. I said that alot when I was out there and now I know how lucky I am. If were good to ourselfs we wont worry so much what anyone else is doing or worshiping.


Member: Tim  P.
Location: Utah
Date: 1/1/00
Time: 1:44:34 PM

Comments

Happy New year; I'm Tim alcohlic it's great to be clean & sober this New Years Day. I thank my Higher Power who Icall God for the AA program. I'll have 90 days Jan 3 This program is my life without it I won't make it thank all of you for being there for me.


Member: April C.
Location: Mich
Date: 1/1/00
Time: 2:22:44 PM

Comments

Happy New Year to all!! One Day at a time, sometimes seconds at a time for me. Grateful and recovering today by my Higher Power whom I choose to call God!! I feel so ashamed at not placing my faith at god's feet last night. I didn't at all worry about all this Y2K garbage until last night.. I talked with my Dad on the telephone and he made me to think that all hell could possibly break loose at the strike of Midnight... I filled the bathtub with water got candles, flashlight and other water necessary for the big boom.. Ha ha to me... Why did I let go of my higher power?? I came to believe and I need to always believe just like the all the times that God saved my ass from the bottles and the drugs. Without you people and God, I would not be 6 months clean today... I have to continue to believe and turn everything over, not some things but EVERYTHING!!! 3rd step prayer. I learned yet another lesson last night.. When I came to believe that means always believing... Why can't I get that through my stubborn head. Anyways, 1st time to this site. Love to all, Let go and Let God!! Peace!


Member: Elizabeth E.
Location: Southeast USA
Date: 1/1/00
Time: 6:09:13 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm an alcoholic, my name is Elizabeth. I try to keep spirituality as simple as I possibly can on a daily basis. It is spiritual for me not to take a drink a day at a time; it is spiritual for me to attend meetings and do service work. That is a 365 degree turnaround for this alcoholic! I is spiritual to practice the principles in my life on a daily basis. When I came to Alcoholics Anonymous over six years ago, the only spirit I knew about was alcohol. I thank my Higher Power for the program and enough spirituality not to drink on a daily basis. Happy 2000!


Member: Rod B.
Location: NE.
Date: 1/1/00
Time: 6:22:22 PM

Comments

My name is Rod B. and only by the grace of God and the followship of AA am I sober today. It's difficult to believe that I would be clean and sober on the first day of 2000. I must admit that coming into the AA meeting room was difficult to do because of all the "power" I thought I had at that time. But slowly and surely did you members of AA began to teach me to "ask for help in the morning and to give thanks at night". You guys made suggestions that at times I listened to and took action on. You said life was a matter of choices, to accept the consequences and let "His Will" be done. My spirituality isn't as vague as it once was and when I let go and let God my life is clearer. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Arlene C
Location: Northeast Washington
Date: 1/1/00
Time: 6:38:26 PM

Comments

My name is Arlene and I am an alcoholic. Last week right near the close of the meeting some one posted asking what they should do about their drink. Should they go to AA or not. No one has responded to that person. I could tell they were in pain. Who ever you are: Give AA a try. Go to some open meetings and see if you can identify with the feelings. It didn't take very many meetings for me to know that I belonged. You have nothing to loose, and everything to gain. I wish you a life that is happy joyous and free. Sorry to be off the subject, but I felt that this should be addressed. Happy New Year to ll


Member: doug m
Location: north
Date: 1/1/00
Time: 7:31:16 PM

Comments

Hi guys/gals doug here just another recovering boozer here I like to thank the fellowship of A.A. for keeping me sober for the last 175 days of clean health and no hangovers. I have found my hire power God and also my new best freind. may all your trobles be little ones. and remember you can only change your attitude and not some one elses as I have foud out with my ex-wife. Oh well I still have my kids and the fellowship of A.A. Happy New Year to all of my freinds and if you wish to drop me a line in the frozen north dougmarr@hotmail.com see ya


Member: Big John M.
Location: Modesto, CA
Date: 1/1/00
Time: 8:18:07 PM

Comments

Hi everyone! I'm John, a real alcoholic. I haven't been to this meeting for a while, (sister in the hospital since Dec. 1 and I am her power of attorney) and it's great to be back and read all of the great sharing about an outstanding topic! I couldn't possibly add anything to the sharing on the topic that has been covered so well, and, I don't care to fight with anyone about anything today. But, I would like to share a story that happened at a meeting here in Modesto some years ago. A gentleman was called on to speak and he shared that he was really tickled with the AA Program, all except for the spiritual part of it. Another gentleman came up to the first after the meeting and told him he really liked his comment about the Program, and since they had some time, could they discuss the other, non-spiritual aspect of the Program. That was the end of the converstation!

Once again, grateful to be here! Great Meeting! Good night and God Bless!!!


Member: MARY K
Location: BOSTON
Date: 1/1/00
Time: 8:32:43 PM

Comments

Mary, alcy

To CHERI V in PITTSBURGH: my heart goes out to you. Each partner relationship situation should be treated individually. There are those in the fellowship whose advise is to "just get rid of him/her" and then others that advise to stay no matter what.

If we all do what we are suppose to do (don't drink, go to meetings, ask for help from a Higher Power) then WE get better and the answers become clearer. Congratulations on your choosing counseling/therapy. There are some wonderful counselors/therapists out there (i've also encountered some loo-loos). I'll pray you've obtained a healthy one.

Keep a journal - that has always been an invaluable tool for me to observe my thought / behavior patterns. You may find that you feel different from one day to the next - or you may not.

I'm going out on a limb here - May I suggest that you give yourself some more time to clear up before making any definite decision (hence the year suggestion).

God bless you - Mary


Member: MARY K
Location: BOSTON
Date: 1/1/00
Time: 8:40:41 PM

Comments

Mary - Alcy

CHERI P in TEXAS - ooops - my above comment was meant for you (got my cheris mixed up - LOL).

my apologies


Member: Cheri
Location: Dallas
Date: 1/2/00
Time: 3:33:36 AM

Comments

Hi-Cheri P., an alcoholic, I just had to follow up on my last post. Thanks Mary K in Boston, I just read your suggestions, and strangely enough, this is pretty much what I did. I don't exactly journal, but I do write when I feel overwhelmed and can remember to. I wrote my husband a 3 page letter and to my great surprise, he really heard me and responded so well. He even has agreed to go to counseling with me! (Yes, I've encountered some loo-loos, too, so I am careful and choosey) I have turned this relationship over so many times, praying for what is for our highest good, acceptance, strength, serenity...I know I've been listened to. This site has helped me through my process when I couldn't make a meeting. Hope to make one in person tomorrow! Congrats to Tim P from Utah, glad you're here and keep coming back!-Cheri P/Dallas


Member: kevinm
Location: fl-inv
Date: 1/2/00
Time: 7:47:23 AM

Comments

to albertsistrunk, maybe following a few suggestions will help,1. get a sponser, this is a we program,if you don't think so count the we's if the first 164 pages of the BB. while you are counting and if some of the cob webs have cleared you might even read it while you are counting. 2. go to meetings, every day, go until you want to go. 3. trying work the steps, as they are the program of aa.4. don't drink or drug no matter what, I mean no matter what goes on in life, in your head, in your heart, don't drink if your ass falls off, because if yoou stick around long enough your ass will fall off from time to time, at least mine has, 5. help another alkie, help can be in many forms, but is a action word. I find that when nothing else seems to be working in my life, if i get up off my duff and go and find someone else to help, it helps me more than i help them. Welcom Bryanm think i live just a few north of ya, its good too here ya, everyone have a sober new year and everything else will follow an planned. God bless you all, thanks for letting me share


Member: ken s
Location: surrey B.C.
Date: 1/2/00
Time: 11:38:15 AM

Comments

ken s the name and alki was to blame. over time i woke up to the fact that i need to beleave in somethiing. It took many trys at this before I learned that thoughts of negativity towards people places and things was the majority of my problem. through my HP I learned to forgive and to realize I can't change the past. Today I'm responsable for what I say to myself (right on the nails head SARA). the need to forgive others and myself is what spiritualitys all about for me. wake up-steps-1-2-3- enjoy the day, thats the way today in a/a. I'm wishing everyone another 24 aand I take one for myself.


Member: STILL WAITING
Location: 12:22 PM EST  1/2/00
Date: 1/2/00
Time: 12:04:53 PM

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when's the new discussion beginning??

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Member: Mark B
Location: Eielson AFB, AK
Date: 1/2/00
Time: 1:07:25 PM

Comments

I thank the program of Alcoholics Anonymous for giving me God, and I thank God for alcohoics Anonymous. Today, the high temp is supposed to be -45 F. If there isn't a God, we'd be dead cause nothing can survive and function in this cold. Happy New Year's to all.