Member: DJ
Location: norfolk
Date: 20 Dec 1998
Time: 00:23:38

Comments

hi this alkie thinkS, LOVE !!!AND 12STEP TOPIC

would fit this christmas season, god bless!!!


Member: DJ
Location: NOR
Date: 20 Dec 1998
Time: 00:46:55

Comments

Dj back, still alcoholic and wishing to hear

SPIRITUAL AWAKENINGS, PART OF STEP #12

THANKS, GOD BLESS


Member: Jeff S.
Location: Texas
Date: 20 Dec 1998
Time: 02:45:19

Comments

Hi, Jeff here, alcoholic/addict. My experience with what I would call a spiritual awakening is the realization that H.P. is in charge, and that I ain't him. 'Sounds a lot like the 3rd step I know, but at this point through working the steps I've got the opportunity to remember the aforementioned fact and practice these principles in "all my affairs" with the knowledge that I truly am not alone, and its not a waste of time to try to grow.


Member: Pam D.
Location: So. Calif.
Date: 20 Dec 1998
Time: 03:35:46

Comments

Hi, Pam, alcoholic, etc. here. Re:spiritual awakening - I really had my first experience with that while on rehab. ward of military hospital. In the walkway to the basement cafeteria, there was an opening where we could see out onto this patio. Each day, I passed this same place, totally focused on me and my problems. One day, I noticed there was a drab gray treetruck on that patio. Another day, I noticed that the tree stretched all the way up to the sky and that there were leaves trying to grow up there. THen I saw a couple of birds fly overhead. That was my spiritual awakening! That tree and the connection to life outside the hospital really touched me...now, 14 years later, I still cannot describe the full experience clearly. ALL I can say is that the world filled with light and color, and for days after, I felt o.k. -- I didn't want to die or drink. And I haven't done either, yet.


Member: Bob G.
Location: Eugene, Oregon
Date: 20 Dec 1998
Time: 06:34:36

Comments

Hi`I'm Bob, Alcoholic. For me the spiritual awakening was the start of quality life and recovery. It was the fact that no matter where I was or what I did I wasn't alone anymore. The feeling or always having someone or somthing with me to help guide an help me in everything I did. I didn't have to face life with the big empty inside anymore! thanks for letting me share! Bob G.


Member: Brian H.
Location: Hamilton Ontario Canada
Date: 20 Dec 1998
Time: 07:03:57

Comments

For me, my spiritual awakening(s)combined both very specific, transcendent moments AND gradual unfoldings of the capability of my Higher Power to help me overcome a terrible alcoholic compulsion. In my nights (and days) of sweating, bewildered desperation, I definitely felt the grace of my Higher touch me and save me from scary self-destruction. Regular attendance at A.A. meetings, especially with my beloved home group, with the communal prayer and open talk of spirtual matters has led to an on-going relationship with a Higher Power without which previous attempts to stop drinking never worked. I pray for a Christmas series of 24 sober hours to all on the Staying Cyber line.


Member: lauren
Location: chesapeake Bay
Date: 20 Dec 1998
Time: 09:03:57

Comments

hi - I'm lauren,alcoholic. When i found i did not have to drink anymore thanks to Alcoholics Anonymous my whole view of the world began to change. It was as if i had been living in a black and white and grey world for 18 years - negative, sad, cynical, hopeless and full of misery - and then i found AA and followed their directions and life turned into a colorful trip.My awareness of my SPIRIT awakening was when i didn't HATE the birds that chirped in the early am outside my window - or when i could find real pleasure out of planting a garden full of zinnias. Thanks to sobriety i've learned how to enjoy the simple pleasures and most importantly, don't feel desperate and afraid anymore.All i did was not drink and go to meetings.Thank you all.


Member: Joanne C
Location: Parkersburg,WV
Date: 20 Dec 1998
Time: 11:42:30

Comments

I am a fairly new to the internet. I attend many mtgs. a week here in Parkersburg WV. My home group is N.E.S.T. (Tues B.B. and Thurs. 12&12 @ 8:00 PM) My sobriety date: 8-22-79. I would be interested hearing more and different comments on Sobriety.


Member: Mary M
Location: MD
Date: 20 Dec 1998
Time: 11:51:05

Comments

Hi, this is my first time for this meeting. I'm an alcoholic and a lot of other things! I like the topic on Spiritual Awakenings.

Lately, I think I have been having some "mini" spiritual awakenings. I have begun feel at peace in my surroundings - which is something really new for me since I so often have been in such inner negativity. But lately - for the past several weeks - I have spirts of peace, and it feels good. I feel God's presence oftener and that feels good. And I turn to Him for help in day to day situations.

Thanks for all the sharing on this topic.


Member: Kathy F
Location: Carlisle,Ia
Date: 20 Dec 1998
Time: 11:57:26

Comments

Hi my name is Kathy and I am an alcoholic and a drug addict. "Having had a Spiritual Awakening as a RESULT OF THESE STEPS" I would say I never had a true awaking more of the Spiritual Experience (BigBook pg 569-570) As I worked the steps I found more peace within myself. I became a happier person - more loving and more humble. I quit acting like a fool and became a more respected person. My first meeting a went to at my home group I showed up in a ball cap and a flannel shirt and grungy jeans - now I'm always dressed with nice Jeans and shirt tucked in with hair brushed nicely. I used to swear all the time (every other word used to be the F word) but now I hardley even say the S word. To me Spiritual Experience and Awakenings are profound alterations within ones self. And as the big book says are quite often seen first by those around you. Thanks, Kathy F


Member: Paul C
Location: Antioch CA
Date: 20 Dec 1998
Time: 12:03:16

Comments

Hi, I'm Paul a grateful recovering alcoholic trudging the road to a happier destiny. The 12x12 describes an aklie who has a religious background but is disallusioned of it and has turned his back on it. That is me. I've had "lots" of spiritual experiences in my life but my awakening did not happen until I read and understood the words "Progress not Perfection". There were no burning bushes or fireworks just an understanding. A big weight fell from my spirit that day. I was able to start having a true relationship with my GOD. As I "trudge daily" I am doing the second half of step 12...and that is "to Practice". Life is a wonderful journey because GOD is doing for me what I cannot do for myself. Merry Christmas Everyone.


Member: BRIAN
Location: RAPID CITY S. D.
Date: 20 Dec 1998
Time: 14:56:02

Comments

HI I'M BRIAN AND I'M A ALCOHOLIC,I don't always feel the presense of my higher power,but I am practicing what I truly believe is a spiritual way of life on a daily basis and somtimes I do feel Gods presense but regardless of what my feelings are on any given day, I practice the action of relieing on this unseen force for stength, guidance and soberity.Today I'm a real alcoholic who does not NEED to take that drink, now thats GOD working in me and thru me ,coudn't be anything else and with hindsight everything good and decent that I've experienced has been this loving force in my life. Hmmm.....I'm starting to feel a presense,thanx for letting me carry the message. cya.


Member: richard m
Location: sarasota,fla.
Date: 20 Dec 1998
Time: 19:01:04

Comments

helo every one ...my name is richard ..i am an alcoholic. i found myself with the dubious pleasure of sleeping in the bushes on dec 27 1985......i didn.t know why this was hapening...i thought if only my friends and former executives could see me now!!!!!!! whatever had i done to deserve such treatment at the hands of my fellows? that night as i said my prayers to jesus...i became aware that i needed to try to live with out drinking anymore alcohol!!!!!!! that night jesus answered my prayer, for when i woke up the next morning..the desire to drink had been removed and i haven.t had a drink since then!!!!4,741...glorious days by his grace.......a.a. has helped me in staying sober and recovering in a rational manner......when a.a. says god alone is your answer it is right about that .....for no human power could of relieved us of our alcoholisim!!!!!!!! thank you and may you open your heart to god's will for you....i love you and please do not quit before the mirical happens in your life!!!!!!!!!!!!


Member: Robert
Location: Nashville
Date: 20 Dec 1998
Time: 21:55:54

Comments

I have heard the spiritual experience described as a feeling of warmth and comfort that comes over you during prayer. Or, a singular revelation that is at one time and one time only life altering. As of yet, I have not had a spiritual awakening of that variety. What I have had, as a result of working the steps of AA, attending meetings, listening to others who can help me, and reading the AA approved material, is a realization that God is present everywhere. That nothing happens in this existence by accident. That my character defects block me from the spirit of God. That my "wants" block me from contact with my higher power. Maybe mine is the spiritual experience of the educational varierty but it has been far to good for me to call it just that. I remember what the old country preacher used to say in my childhood--"God won't ever leave you, you'll leave God." I'm back searching and making up for lost time. Merry Christmas to All !!!!!!


Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 21 Dec 1998
Time: 01:19:00

Comments

tony,alcholic...about 4 days before i had to go to courtfor my second d.u.i.iwas constantly sick to my stomach,nervuos,worried ashamed in turmoil.i started praying at night asking for help and admitting to God my troubles(like he didn"t know)one morning i got up it was court day,i was was crying in the shower,thinking of calling in sick to court,i couldn"t go through with it,then i felt as if i was being guided across the room without trying,it was strange but i started to smile by this,i started getting dressed al the nervousness just left me and i somehow new it was going to be ok,their is no dought in my mind it was the guidence of GOD that relieved me that morning right when i neede it.i will never forget that feeling,the presance of GOD is awesome.i went to court ,things worked out ok,i was ordered to go to aa,and be drug tested at random.aa is the best punishment this drunk could get,and i thank God EVERY night.thanks


Member: Shena
Location: NW BC
Date: 21 Dec 1998
Time: 01:40:43

Comments

hi my name is shena & i am an alcoholic, I believe and have experienced that each day sober is a spiritual experience for as it says, our defence must come from a higher power. I know that it's nothing that I've done that is keeping me sober it is definately the Grace of God! My most memorable spiritual experience to date was when I was going thru the steps once I felt that I truly belonged to and was a part of all life, the belonging part was what I had been aching for all my life. God loves me and God loves you it's that simple. May the peace that passes all understanding be with you all this Christmas and may you know where it's coming from!!!


Member: Golda F
Location: Brooklyn
Date: 21 Dec 1998
Time: 02:35:42

Comments

My name is Golda and I am an alcoholic. I am exhausted but am afraid to go to bed. So I am checking in. I have had many spiritual awakenings, both in terms of sensing a Being beyond nature, and through loving others and learning from them. I have shifted the way I handle life dramatically thanks to the rooms, the steps, simply not picking up a drink a day at a time, and through prayer. Constant prayer sometimes. Yet I feel frightened and confused tonight by what is happening to me at this new job, and have lately thought of picking up, though I have no intention of doing so. I feel I have such an active relationship with God. Amazing things have happened with me and through me. How could I feel so alone and such lack of trust? Lack of trust of God's desire to help me and in my ability to succeed. How could I feel this after so much spiritual contact with Him and work I have done? I just don't get it. Does that mean I never really got it before? Does one really ever lose fear and and mistrust completely, permanently, for the rest of one's life? Thanks for listening. I would love to hear your experiences with this. Thanks for being out there.


Member: Jamie L.
Location: Belmar, NJ
Date: 21 Dec 1998
Time: 03:38:25

Comments

Hi Group, Jamie, alcoholic/addict. Great topic for the holidays. First I would like to identify with Golda and share my experience strength and hope. I work in a fast paced,high pressure environment which I chose because I am an excitement addict and I truly love what I do. I often find myself becoming fearful and paranoid about situations which are completely out of my control. I usually know it's time to go to a meeting and share my feelings with another alcoholic. I believe my God speaks to me through the people in the rooms. No matter what baggage I drag into a meeting, it seems a lot lighter when I leave. I have to do Steps 1,2, & 3 over and over until my fear is replaced with faith. Still, I have a very hard time with trust but I know that self reliance will be my undoing. When this alcoholic spends too much time in his head, it's like a bad neighborhood and I get mugged. I'm up tonight because I have a very important meeting in the early morning and I've been projecting scenarios. I can't sleep because I am taking on God's work and it is way too much for me to handle. I think I'll give Him back His job and get some sleep so I can do mine. Thanks for sharing Golda, you really helped me tonight!

My spiritual awakening has been in direct proportion to my ability to trust and have faith that my Higher Power has gotten me this far for His reasons, not mine. I can't, He can, I think I'll let Him. Have a safe and sober 24, love to you all!


Member: Mike H.
Location: Michigan
Date: 21 Dec 1998
Time: 05:46:50

Comments

I'm Mike, an alcoholic. My awakening came when I realized it was a God of my understanding, not my parent's God, not the Catholic God, etc. A God personal to me, loving caring and willing to help. All I have to do is ask and I shall receive. Thanks to all for sharing.


Member: Rivner
Location: Santa Fe, NM
Date: 21 Dec 1998
Time: 08:34:33

Comments

Howdy Neighbors! Alcoholic; Rivner. Having had a spiritual awakening as *THE RESULT* of these steps... For me it seems ta run that the more astute I am with daily attention to the details of the steps (practicin' these principles ...), the more I experience spiritual awakening. I struggle with my faith a lot. Lotta times I feel like I'm throwin' a rope up into the Heavens, peerin' up through the clouds, 'n' hollerin' "Did You get it? That's how I see my link with HP sometimes. Other days its more like a shimmerin' silver thread that's just there already when I get outta the sack. It really is a process for me. I ain't had no burnin' bushes, but I sure do have a bunch of miracles and devine interventions I can point to in my life. I'm told allus I really need is the "faith of a mustard seed". Well, I guess mine's 'bout the size of a tomater. I'd sure like ta get up to one of those juicy 30 pound water mellons though. I know they're hard ta grow in the desert, but I think I can do it, 'long as I can keep my dumb ass outta the way. God Speed Ya'long, Riv.


Member: Steve H.
Location: PA
Date: 21 Dec 1998
Time: 08:51:53

Comments

Hi... this is the first time for me.. and I'm not sure what to say. Drinking has gotten me into some trouble over the years and I have a desire to eliminate it from my life all together. Today begins a journey for me that I know will improve the quality of my life.. but I believe I need to be surrounded by positive influences. I am planning on attending a face-to-face meeting today.. so wish me luck.


Member: Wayne B.
Location: Arizona
Date: 21 Dec 1998
Time: 12:46:25

Comments

This program has given me so many spiritual experiences and everyday I can feel God's presence. Alcohol powered me for about 10 years - what alcohol did for me was unbelievable. I was told by a man that knew Bill Wilson and got sober in New York City in the mid 60's that Your Higher Power must be much greater than that alcohol...That is what my Higher Power is..God gives me a peace and a presence that is incredable and awesome. I believe it stems from a deep gratitude in somehow realizing just how lucky and what an amazing gift sobriety is. Getting married, seeing my son born at 4 years sober was just awesome. Now don't get me wrong. Life still happens, diapers to change, a busy job, traffic, bills. Yet, these things can even make me appreciate the good times. And for me, I needed to grow up and stop running and face some responsibility. The life I have been given, from being a blackout drinker, is awesome. I pray that one day at a time, I do this deal for the long haul. Merry Christmas everyone.


Member: Debbie C
Location: Colorado
Date: 21 Dec 1998
Time: 12:54:00

Comments

Hi, I'm Debbie, alcoholic. My first spiritual awakening came when I walked in the doors of AA. Although, at the time, it did not feel that way, it took several years and lots of working the steps to look back and realize how God saved me. I spent many years in the program awaiting that "burning bush" as proof of a spiritual awakening and never could understand why it never came. Then it dawned on me, that it had come and gone and I was still too sick to realize it.

I have just recently (yesterday) experienced another spiritual awakening in my life. I have been going through a difficult period lately and asking God to help me through. Finally, I asked Him to please send me a sign or message so I can do what is right. Well, He did! I received my answer from a person who called me yesterday morning that I had not heard from in years. She stated that for some reason she knew she had to call me because she felt that I was in need of help. She guided me through some tough questions and provided me with insight I had not considered. This, my dear AA friends, was NOT a coincidence. It was God speaking to me through others. Situations like these are my constant source of strength and hope. Therfore, I choose to call each of them spiritual awakenings. So, now I send this prayer to my HP. "KEEP THEM COMING."

Thanks for letting me share today.


Member: Dave L.
Location: NJ
Date: 21 Dec 1998
Time: 13:54:25

Comments

Hi Dave alcoholic. Great topic i will be sober 1 year on Jan. 7 1999. My spiritual awakening gave me such peace and happiness i thank HP everyday. I cary a card in my wallet with a quote from Bill W. that says it better than i ever could "I was to know happiness, peace and usefulness in a way of life that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes" MERRY CHRISTMAS


Member: Arik P.
Location: Huntington Beach, CA
Date: 21 Dec 1998
Time: 14:52:08

Comments

I'm an alcoholic and my name is Arik. The Big Book defines spiritual experience as a personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism. It further states that this spiritual experience manifests itself among us in MANY different forms. Step twelve says "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps...". The most important word in that sentence is "THE". In otherwords, if you take the steps this is "the" result you will get, not "a" result, "the" result.

I have received this gift and experienced a personality change sufficient to recover from alcoholism by applying the 12 steps to my life. And as the result I haven't had to take a drink for 2418 days and for that I'm grateful. If it doesn't get any better than that, I'm already overpaid. All of the other stuff is just the fringe benefits !

KCB


Member: Phil W.
Location: Madison
Date: 21 Dec 1998
Time: 15:08:17

Comments

I'm Phil, alcoholic and addict. I've been awakening spiritually for almost 11 years now. For me the compulsion was lifted almost immediately upon getting sober for the first time. My spiritual growth and awakening has been a much more gradual affair, sort of like the unfolding of a very slow- growing flower. For this I am immensely grateful.

In reading the comments above I am reminded of something I heard at a meeting once: "Religeon is for those who fear Hell; Spirituallity if for those who have been there."

Thanks, all. I love ya!


Member: Tim V
Location: Pocono's, PA, USA
Date: 21 Dec 1998
Time: 16:37:28

Comments

Hi, I'm Tim I'm an alcoholic, and the new tresurer. Just a reminder about the 7th tradition. We are self supporting through our own contributions. Please visit "pass the hat", and help out if you can. GSO told us when we were starting this, that we are " AA pioneers". Lets do it right the first time, like Bill and Bob.

Blessings.


Member: Jennifer W.
Location: Nevada
Date: 21 Dec 1998
Time: 16:44:05

Comments

Hi, I'm Jennifer and I am an alcoholic. My spiritual awakening has made my life so much easier than it was when I was out there. I don't wake up every day sick and depressed and I actually try to have patience and enjoy the very simple things that life has to offer. A cup of coffee, a meeting or just a quiet moment to calm my mind. I hope that everyone has a wonderful holiday. Thanks for letting me share


Member: Randy G.
Location: Iowa City, Ia.
Date: 21 Dec 1998
Time: 17:36:47

Comments

Hi I'm Randy G. an alcoholic. My first time at a meeting cyber-space. This is a good thing for an alcoholic like me to know is here. The personality change, spiritual awakening, I have experienced has vastly improved my outlook on life. I can wake up and do battle without having to reach for a drink. One huge difference in my life, that's for sure. Being able to enjoy quiet time alone on the computer is another miracle! I've enjoyed the comments and will keep coming back. Happy holidays!


Member: Laure O
Location: Frederick, Md.
Date: 21 Dec 1998
Time: 17:58:32

Comments

Hi I'm Laure and I'm an alcoholic. Spiritual awakening to me happened gradually in my first year. Detoxing in the rooms, my mind was fogged for a good while. I wanted to learn to stop drinking and be happy! I'm a recovering Catholic and when I heard I could choose my own HP and ignore the thoughts of the one I carried in my head for 38 years, I thought how awesome! When I developed blind faith and trust my spiritual journey began and so many fears were gone. The promise "Your attitude and outlook upon life will change", I wanted that, coming from hating life and myself. Life is so rich for me today. So full of color and enjoyment all because I believe in HP, the AA meetings, and myself today. Working the steps, getting a sponser, and still going to meetings after many years is my answer. I've seen too many alkies stop meetings and relapse and some died. I want to live and live sober. To Steve H,Pa. Lose yourself in AA and you'll find yourself in AA. Merry Xmas All, Love Laure


Member: Bruce A.
Location: Bovard, PA
Date: 21 Dec 1998
Time: 18:05:42

Comments

Happy Holidays everyone, My name is appollo and I am an alcoholic. Spiritual Awakening as a result of these steps. I guess my clarity of a spiritual awakening came after i worked the steps of this A.A. program. Over the past 15 yrs. I have worked all 12 steps from 1-12 3 times. during this time I have had many spiritual experiences. I think the greatest experience was when I had a year sobriety and was at Laurel Highlands conf. I got in contact with my emotions aand cried for 2 hrs. What a relief. It was like god cleansing my soul. LOVE you all, Appollo


Member: Jana H
Location: Idaho
Date: 21 Dec 1998
Time: 19:29:55

Comments

My name is Jana and I'm an alcoholic. I have not completed the 12 steps and i have been sober for 2.5 years. I am on my fourth step, or should be. I got out all my resentment in the first three columns, but haven't looked at my own part. I am feeling the abscence of my higher power because of it. I need to listen. Thanks, Jana.


Member: Danny F.
Location: Ft. Worth, TX  (Cowtown!)
Date: 21 Dec 1998
Time: 20:25:23

Comments

Hello, Family!

My name is Danny F. and I am a Drunk, who don't drink, today! Having had a spiritual awakening, as the result of these steps, I try to carry this message to alcoholics, and practice these principles in all my affairs. The spirituall awakening is the easy part. All I had to do was work the steps, go to meetings, and keep from taking that first drink, one day at a time. Carrying the message of AA is easy too. I just do the next thing, that God puts before me, living in such a manner, that all who knew me, when I drank, can see the change. Practicing these principles in all my affairs, though, takes some effort. It's really easy, for me, to drift back, into my old ways, of living, thinking, acting, and dealing with life & other people. It has taken a spiritual awakening, to understand, that "My Way" does NOT work! I tried, for Thirty years, to make "My Way" work, and, it never happened. Again, I must admit, on a daily basis, sometimes, on an hourly basis, that my life is still unmanageable, BY ME, drunk or sober, and always will be. I haven't the power to do that. "Lack of power is our basic delema." "But, there is One, who has all power. May you find Him now." I thank God, that I did find him, by working these steps. I believe, that is, truely, how we find God. These steps are a miracle! When we work them, we all become that miracle. That life, that never worked, that is now working, that's the miracle of AA. Being able to see the miracle, that's a spirituall awakening. Spiritual experiences happen to me every day, but, unless I am spiritually fit, awake that is, I cannot see them. For me, If I cannot see today's miracle, it's a warning, that I need to put more effort into working the steps, so that I might remain awake. If I do the footwork, God will work the miracle, and I will be able to see that power, greater than myself, working in my life.

I could go on and on, but, I will save the space for others. Love for all my AA brothers & sisters. Thanks for letting me share.

Danny F. - Just another old Drunk & Junkie, finally, learning how to live!


Member: judyr
Location: Pepperell, MA
Date: 21 Dec 1998
Time: 21:33:14

Comments

My name is Judy and I'm an alcoholic.I found this meeting and this site while gathering some information for someone who is still out there and doesn't know what to do.

I guess on the topic of spritual awakenings, I would have to say mine came when I decided my life was more important than the drink.When I was able to have a clear moment and reach out to AA to see if I could get a better life. I did. I have heard other AAers talk about their spiritual awakenings and some of these stories are amazing. I would sit and think that I wished I had had an amazing spiritual awakening....well that's alcoholism for you, I didn't even know I'd had mine. Glad to say I've been waking up ever since.

This is my first visit to this site, and I know it won't be my last. Have a safe and sober holiday.


Member: Chuck K.
Location: Texas
Date: 21 Dec 1998
Time: 22:29:21

Comments

Hi, everybody, my name is Chuck, and I am an alcoholic. Been sober all day; now that's a miracle. Wow, what powerful things I've been reading. I love this topic.

My spirit became awakened when I told God that I would do anything required to get this deal called recovery. I remember being at my wits end, just home after a meeting, sober about two years and miserable. I had worked the steps--enough to please my sponsor but not enough to make me well as promised. Then, I surrendered. A warmth and peace coursed through me from my head to my toes. It was as if the Spirit of God was moving through my entire being; somehow I knew I would be OK. I would find peace and sobriety and recovery. That was 12 years ago. I feel God still moving through me now and I am so grateful. He has given me so much--a life, a home, a wife, a son, a daughter.

Miracles like this happen in AA all the time. I was especially moved by Golda. Hang in there; I only shared so much detail about my first real spiritual experience to be able to tell you that we all have doubts sometimes. I had a powerful and moving spiritual experience. It transformed my life. It also still left me quite human. I must always do what brought me to God--AA's 12 Steps. Nothing else will help me hold on to the Power God Has Demonstrated in my life.

Thanks to all. I love you. Steve H., AA is a lifesaver. Stay around for the miracle. I always do.


Member: Donnie
Location: Ala.
Date: 21 Dec 1998
Time: 23:18:20

Comments

I'm Donnie,alcoholic and hi to everybody. I was raised being carried to church but I couldn't hear the part of the sermons about God loving me I thought he was only gonna get me for these feelings or desires that I had . I went on my way and quit going to church never made a decision or commitment and needless to say my lifestyle almost killed me. I could remember enough from my younger days that I prayed one day for God to save me (I had been on a 3 day and night drinking binge,passout, wakeup,drink till I would pass out again). When I said that prayer I was as sincere as a human could be, I had a feeling of calmness come over me almost instantly that a bottle of valium's couldn't have produced, I believe that was a beginning, because I didn't share with anyone my experience, I was tempted and did drink more for about a year then I was introduced to the program of a.a. I thank my God in heaven and his spirit that dwells in me for this program and the people I have come to know and love. I don't always feel the presence of God as I have in times past , but it's because I'm probably not doing what I ought to be doing . I believe each time a distance has occured it was because I left him and not him leaving me. I don't know when Jesus was born but we're coming up on the holiday set aside for it , I've gotten drunk many times in the past during this time but with his help and the tools I've been given to work with I hope and pray we all get to see another one clean and sober. God bless all of you.


Member: Barry L.
Location: Chicago
Date: 21 Dec 1998
Time: 23:35:23

Comments

Hey...Does anyone know when Founders' Day Is in 1999 in Akron Ohio? A buddy assked me and he's not going to leave me alone until I get him the answer. So please help.


Member: shelle h
Location: san fransico
Date: 21 Dec 1998
Time: 23:51:38

Comments

Hi wow thanks to you all.I have read just what I needed to. I agree with all what a wounderful topic for this week ( any week really) Well lets see I to have had many many awakenings, The one that stands out the most today is when I did my 5th step.I've been sober five and a half years.I't took me 6mos to finish my 4th step, when I was done it was 78 pages long . When I was done it was my life on paper I was 30 at the time and I had wrote every resentment I ever had It hurt I was so hard,to look at my life at what I did to others and what was done to me as a child . pain pain pain. well when I was done I moved on to step 5th and the frist part of step 5 says admitted to god ,so I went to chuch. It was late no one was there it's a very big old beauitful place, well I went in and walked all the way up to the frist pew, and sat down. I stared to read my 5th step tp god at the time I was not sure why I was there why I picked a church I mean I haded been in a church for years, anyway there I was reading all 78 pageges to god crying my eyes out I was all alone exceped for this old lady who was cleaning the pews. She never said a word to me only passed by to bring me tissiue.I was there for 3 houres.I got to a part of my child that was so painful. As a child I new god had a great plan for me but up untill that moment I never new what is was.then it hit me AA see I belive my path was set before I even got here.God gave me alcohol to numb me from the pain of a painful childhood,then he gave me all of the steps the fellowship,He works in my life on a daily basis,When I don't feel close to my hp I'm the one who has moved.sorry this was so long it just all came out wishing you all love peace and a very merry xmas shell


Member: shelle h
Location: san fransico
Date: 21 Dec 1998
Time: 23:52:17

Comments

Hi wow thanks to you all.I have read just what I needed to. I agree with all what a wounderful topic for this week ( any week really) Well lets see I to have had many many awakenings, The one that stands out the most today is when I did my 5th step.I've been sober five and a half years.I't took me 6mos to finish my 4th step, when I was done it was 78 pages long . When I was done it was my life on paper I was 30 at the time and I had wrote every resentment I ever had It hurt I was so hard,to look at my life at what I did to others and what was done to me as a child . pain pain pain. well when I was done I moved on to step 5th and the frist part of step 5 says admitted to god ,so I went to chuch. It was late no one was there it's a very big old beauitful place, well I went in and walked all the way up to the frist pew, and sat down. I stared to read my 5th step tp god at the time I was not sure why I was there why I picked a church I mean I haded been in a church for years, anyway there I was reading all 78 pageges to god crying my eyes out I was all alone exceped for this old lady who was cleaning the pews. She never said a word to me only passed by to bring me tissiue.I was there for 3 houres.I got to a part of my child that was so painful. As a child I new god had a great plan for me but up untill that moment I never new what is was.then it hit me AA see I belive my path was set before I even got here.God gave me alcohol to numb me from the pain of a painful childhood,then he gave me all of the steps the fellowship,He works in my life on a daily basis,When I don't feel close to my hp I'm the one who has moved.sorry this was so long it just all came out wishing you all love peace and a very merry xmas shell


Member: shelle h
Location: san fransico
Date: 21 Dec 1998
Time: 23:53:01

Comments

Hi wow thanks to you all.I have read just what I needed to. I agree with all what a wounderful topic for this week ( any week really) Well lets see I to have had many many awakenings, The one that stands out the most today is when I did my 5th step.I've been sober five and a half years.I't took me 6mos to finish my 4th step, when I was done it was 78 pages long . When I was done it was my life on paper I was 30 at the time and I had wrote every resentment I ever had It hurt I was so hard,to look at my life at what I did to others and what was done to me as a child . pain pain pain. well when I was done I moved on to step 5th and the frist part of step 5 says admitted to god ,so I went to chuch. It was late no one was there it's a very big old beauitful place, well I went in and walked all the way up to the frist pew, and sat down. I stared to read my 5th step tp god at the time I was not sure why I was there why I picked a church I mean I haded been in a church for years, anyway there I was reading all 78 pageges to god crying my eyes out I was all alone exceped for this old lady who was cleaning the pews. She never said a word to me only passed by to bring me tissiue.I was there for 3 houres.I got to a part of my child that was so painful. As a child I new god had a great plan for me but up untill that moment I never new what is was.then it hit me AA see I belive my path was set before I even got here.God gave me alcohol to numb me from the pain of a painful childhood,then he gave me all of the steps the fellowship,He works in my life on a daily basis,When I don't feel close to my hp I'm the one who has moved.sorry this was so long it just all came out wishing you all love peace and a very merry xmas shell


Member: Ruthie G.
Location: Phx AZ
Date: 22 Dec 1998
Time: 12:31:27

Comments

I'm Ruthie, and I'm and addict and alcoholic. My spiritual awakening came when I was in rehab. I was 3 days into detox, and I was very depressed. My world had come to an end, and I didn't know what to do. I felt worthless. I laid on my bed, shaking, repeating to myself "I'm nothing, I'm nothing". Then this light came on inside of me and I heard a voice( higher power) say "You are a child of God, and that makes you worth something." It has been over 12 years since that day, and I still get goosebumps remembering. It was the day that I knew, no matter what, that I wanted to feel like a person and that I deserved to get better. I have been sober ever since. I have had many spiritual experiences since that spiritual awakening, and I am truly greatful for them. I love my life, and I look forward to each day, because they just keep getting better and better. Thanks everyone for sharing.


Member: Pat O.
Location: Seattle
Date: 22 Dec 1998
Time: 14:41:34

Comments

I have 9 months today, but I don't remember one single spiritual experience. I've had a few, and I'm told that most come from the educational variety. I'm going through the book with my sponsor and we just finished the chapter More About Alcoholism in the Big Book.


Member: Pierre S.
Location: Grapevine, Tx
Date: 22 Dec 1998
Time: 15:37:28

Comments

Hi, everyone ! I'm am alcoholic and my name is Pierre. Great topic because a "Spiritual Awakening" is the whole point ! It describes what happens as " THE result of these steps ". Arik and Rivner were right on, and thank you Kathy for reminding us that the description of this experience is in Appendix 2 in the BB. Nothing more complicated than a personality change sufficient to bring about recovery . Not real complicated, but what a MIRACLE ! Sadly, many don't read that far & it's unfortunately neglected . " we tried to carry this message . . . " What is " this message " ? The message is that we've had a spiritual awakening as THE result of these steps. That's THE AA message that we need to carry .

Love , prayers and wishes to all for a wonderful and sober holiday season !


Member: Sashya C.
Location: Carroll, Iowa
Date: 22 Dec 1998
Time: 16:05:54

Comments

Thank you for everything you have shared. I love AA because of that wonderful feeling I get when someone approaches me after a meeting and says, "Your story really touched me. Thanks!" This feeling is so profound because normally I am not trying to help or influence anyone. I am just sharing something of myself. So, thank you all, your stories have really helped me. From my family to yours: Happy Holidays!! Love, Sashya, Danny and Savannah


Member: Susan C.
Location:
Date: 22 Dec 1998
Time: 17:28:09

Comments

The spiritual awakening that I experienced has become a part of my daily living. Whenever I get frightened, I mst remind myself that God is walkin with me hand-in-hand, & there is nothing I can't do with God, sobriety & AA. I'm a very grateful sober alcoholic today. Hopefully, one day at a time, I'll be able to maintain my sobriety & help other alcoholics. It's wonderful to be part of such a wonderful fellowship. Thanks to all of you & Happy Holudays to you & yours.


Member: Chuck Le C
Location: Yreka, No. Calif
Date: 22 Dec 1998
Time: 17:38:32

Comments

My name is Chuck and I am an alcoholic. A spiritual experience is the program of alcoholics anonomous . When I came into the program if someone mentioned God I told them I would leave. I hope I dont offend anyone when I say this but i was raised in a hell and brimstone religious atmosphere. I had problems finding a God I could understand. After a yr. or so I took Christ off the wall and put him in my heart and i now don't have problems finding God for he is a part of me. The me you feel when you walk into an A.A. meeting. I am now free of my early religious training it's still there but I have no FEAR of God . I like to say that i am also a recovering Baptist. Until I found God as I understand him i would have been doomed by my insides.Being free of the chains i had on me early in my life I can now love God as I understand him anytime. This is my 34 sober -Mas. I have had many religious experiences and i think the one I have with me all the time is this. I am in tune with God in soul my heart my well being he is allways there. I am free from my shakles and i can love as i please. I love each and everyone of you out there. You new people remember we need you. You are the life blood of A.A. Take your time on your journey to the truth about you and remember God chose you to be an alcoholic like me. Merry Christmas


Member: Jana
Location: Idaho
Date: 22 Dec 1998
Time: 19:29:30

Comments

My name is Jana and I am an alcoholic. I have had many spiritual experiences in alcoholics anonymous. I have also balked on my fourth step for over a year, pretty close to 2 years. I got a sponsor yesterday(my old one left town 6 months ago) and I'm once again trudging the road. God Rocks!! I still have so far to go. If you think about it, pray for my own selfish ends cuz I'm not supposed to! thanks, Jana


Member: Kevin E.
Location: Acton, Ca.
Date: 22 Dec 1998
Time: 22:54:14

Comments

Hi-My Name is Kevin and I'm an Alcoholic. This is my first time doing this. My spiritual experience came when I finally surrendered to everything and everybody. I finally became a part of life accepting what I could not control. It was then that I finally filled the void that I lived with for so long. It was then I was finally able to fogive myself. I am so gratful for this gift of sobriety that was so freely given to me. Thank you for letting me share.


Member: Christine P.
Location: Michigan
Date: 22 Dec 1998
Time: 23:11:53

Comments

My "Spiritual Awakening" was very simple...I was at the bottom of the totem pole 5 years ago and had nothing...no pride, no hope, no control--most of all, over my own life...I realized how 'I' had made a total mess of my life...I had no one to blame for the hell that I was in---except for myself...it was then that it simply, literally, and strikingly hit me that there were actually healthy people in the world, and that most all of them believd in a Power greater than themselves...so I tried it, as I lay in a hospital bed, bound at the wrists and ankles....I lifted a prayer of defeat to Whatever It Is ....and have been sober ever since....how simple....yet being the alcoholic that I am, it took years for me to grasp it..


Member: Connie A
Location: Kuwait
Date: 23 Dec 1998
Time: 00:12:29

Comments

Wow...Step 12 again. My clearest awakening would be when I found a list in my bible that I had written down some of the areas in my life that I needed God to help me with. Those areas that I was willing "of my own will" to have him show me how to change. So that you can understand why this list is significant, let me first try to explain. In one of my many drunks, after waking-up with my friends - (Guilt, Unworthy, Shame, Can't Remember, plus many others)...An AA friend told me to write down the areas that I can't change on my own and hand them over (give) to God. She tried to convince me that within time, if I believe, that they can be either marked off the list or at least categorized as being worked on. Well, I did, with a heavy heart, prayed for the areas of alcohol abuse, selfishness, jealousy, judgement, worth-less-ness, and even anxiety. I put the list away in my bible and went on. All the times that I had opened my bible and turned all the pages even dropping it the accidental times the list never fell out, until..one year later. The list fell to the floor, I read the forgotten note to see what it was and to my amazement - sure enough - so many of the items were either more understood of myself, to where I could mark them off the list as finished, or the items were in a much healthier process of being worked on. I guess you could say that I tested Him. And you know what, He don't lie and I can TRUST Him. I am not sure if I conveyed my message to Believe in Him and do not doubt His Word. Because like it is written, His Word cannot come back to him void! I have since written many longer list. - Happy Holy and Sober Holidays!


Member: Chris V.
Location: Belleville, Il.
Date: 23 Dec 1998
Time: 02:19:46

Comments

Hi everyone! My name is Chris and I am an alcoholic. I am pretty new to the program, so I don't have anything to share regarding spiritual awakenings. However, I am becoming more conscious of my HP's presence in my everyday life, and hope that through working the steps I will come to have a spiritual experience.


Member: Bonnie C
Location: Seattle
Date: 23 Dec 1998
Time: 02:48:02

Comments

Hi extended family, bonnie/alcoholic here (((ROOM-HUG))) man I love you drunks & druggies, good topic ((dj)) thank you, one night I was sitting on the sofa, beer in one hand, the remote in the other, flippin channels, till I came to this one where this guy was saying if you want the Lord in your life say this prayer, I dont know if i said that prayer or not but I do remember saying "if you're there take me and make me a productive human being or let me die." within a wk, I came home one night from work had a glass and 1/2 of wine and bounced off the walls, called a friend, went to my 1st AA meeting the next day 5/30/80, havent had a drink, pill or drug since. the second night in the program I asked how to find this higher power, I went home asked Him what He wanted to be called and who was He anyway, I then saw myself sitting on the couch, beer in one hand, remote in the other and I knew, 11days after that my mom died, I was in San Diego, my sis who was in PA called the base where my husb worked and asked if someone could go to my house to tell me and be with me, since my husb was in FLA at the time, this chaplain happened to stop in at the office to pick up some paperwork and they asked him to stop by to tell me on his way home, He did, when I didnt fall apart he thought I was in shock and asked if I had anyplace I could go or anyone I could call, told him I was going to a noon AA meeting, he started to chuckle, he had been in the program 7 yrs and was the only alcoholic chaplain on the base, we did the serenity prayer, our father and he went to the meeting with me. God showed me in a big way how powerful He was in my life. I could have missed this message but you people kept telling me to look for my miracles. I average at least one a day. with each step my faith is deepened, I am blessed by having you folks in my life. Thank God for AA, thank AA for my God. Jesus is the reason for all my seasons. Happy Holidays dear wonderful family. Dear God please bless all who venture here, love and hugs, bon -- bonzoc@webtv.net


Member: Bill T.
Location: Eastern shore MD
Date: 23 Dec 1998
Time: 06:56:12

Comments

Bill T.- alcohlic. When I was first in the program, my sponsor told me to pray whether I believed in it or not; and I generally did whatever he told me to do because he was sober eight years and I trusted him. And so I prayed and things would happen my way and I would tell my sponsor about the coincidence and he would tell me that some day I would know those happenings weren't coincidences. I've had a lot of coincidental happenings over the last 29 years and now I know that my sponsor was right.

But I still sometimes forget to trust and then I have to rekindle my spiritual connection which I believe resides within me - the Omnipotent (God) being Spirit and residing in each of us if we are plugged in to that reality. (My opinion only.)


Member: Terri O
Location: Columbs, Ohio
Date: 23 Dec 1998
Time: 10:15:39

Comments

Hi friends, my name is Terri and I am an alcoholic.

I guess I am having one of those gradual, almost undetectable spriritual awakenings.

I am trying to work the steps and do what my sponsors say, but I have a huge, hard ego that took 40 years to build up, and I suppose it's reasonable that it will take some time to break it down (that essential "ego reduction" referred to in the BB). I know that I want to recover badly, the end was not very much fun. So I think I'll keep at it,just for today!

I haven't been sober very long (7-1/2 months), so I can relate very well to newcomers like Chris - Chris, congrats on your days of sobriety, welcome, please keep coming back!

I love you all in AA, if I don't see you for a couple of weeks (I'm going sailing for a couple of weeks!), please have a very merry and happy. Remember, if you think you haven't done anything good today, you are wrong! You came here, helping me A LOT!


Member: Amy F
Location: Jersey Shore, USA
Date: 23 Dec 1998
Time: 15:43:21

Comments

Amy, alcoholic. Wow! I'm glad I found you sober people! I identify with Mary, I don't remember why because she posted earlier on and I read everyone else and forgot. Oh well. I have little spiritual awakenings. It's kind of what I learned about Buddhism. They don't promise enlightenment...just to put you in the right path for it. So I applied that to my program...being an agnostic...it has helped. Reading the step book doesn't hurt either...LOL. I just keep coming back and it works. I guess I'm keeping open minded and willing, because it has gotten better. I wish everyone a happy sober 24!


Member: Larry M.
Location: Virginia Beach
Date: 23 Dec 1998
Time: 18:46:13

Comments

Larry, alcoholic

ID with Amy from Jersey.

Spiritual awakening is ocurring, little by little, through actions. It's happening as I work the steps and reconnect with the world.

Happy Holidays!


Member: Lisa F.
Location: InlandEmpire,Ca.
Date: 23 Dec 1998
Time: 20:27:45

Comments

HI, Lisa "grateful" alcoholic here!Great topic for the season,so grateful to be sober,what a gift!!My spiritual awakening, honestly happened at about 90 days, when the fog cleared, and I was still sober.. I knew that there had to be a higher power because I had never been able to put together more then a few days back to back! I have a little over four years now and its been a spiritual journey,Go to meetings,work the steps,take direction,work with newcomers, do the footwork, Pray and Proceed! and last but definatley not least Thank God everyday for my sobrietyand I'll share this little saying with you and shut up! Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, Today is a gift...thats why they call it "The Present" Merry Christmas to Everyone!


Member: Teri M
Location: So. California
Date: 23 Dec 1998
Time: 20:40:59

Comments

Hi, I'm Teri, alcoholic. I wish I had a spiritual awakening. I am very turned off by organized religion, and find it hard to have anything to do with it. However, I do believe in God. I keep thinking that I will be set free when I have this "awakening". I binge drink, and get very sick. But, I don't do it everyday. When I do it, I am turned off for a long time because it really makes me sick. But, I still need lots of help, including telling the people around me what is going on (although I know they suspect).


Member: Marilyn
Location:
Date: 23 Dec 1998
Time: 22:08:53

Comments

my name is Marilyn and I am an alcoholic. I am so very grateful to be sober and alive today. We had a suffering alcoholic die this morning after struggling along time with drugs and alcohol. It was very sad. Alcohof is still very cunning,baffling and powerful. We need to continue praying and working the steps and taking action to help others stay sober. We can carry the message --- not the alcoholic.Merry Christmas and may God bless and keep you sober today.


Member: marie .n.
Location: westminster ca.
Date: 23 Dec 1998
Time: 22:14:04

Comments

hi my name is marie and im an aloholic .wow this is my first cyber meeting .my spritual awakings or experiences seem to keep happening to me ,not just when i came to the conclusion that im analoholic and god is in charge and im not ,and that im not god.at least daily i seem to become aware of my spritual being has done a 360 degree turn.i like that boss i used to hate ,i have alot of really good friends. my experiences are different than other people but the greastest gift is not only the love i have recieved but the gift of humor .thank god for aa this has saved my life


Member: marie .n.
Location: westminster ca.
Date: 23 Dec 1998
Time: 22:14:36

Comments

hi my name is marie and im an aloholic .wow this is my first cyber meeting .my spritual awakings or experiences seem to keep happening to me ,not just when i came to the conclusion that im analoholic and god is in charge and im not ,and that im not god.at least daily i seem to become aware of my spritual being has done a 360 degree turn.i like that boss i used to hate ,i have alot of really good friends. my experiences are different than other people but the greastest gift is not only the love i have recieved but the gift of humor .thank god for aa this has saved my life


Member: marie .n.
Location: westminster ca.
Date: 23 Dec 1998
Time: 22:14:59

Comments

hi my name is marie and im an aloholic .wow this is my first cyber meeting .my spritual awakings or experiences seem to keep happening to me ,not just when i came to the conclusion that im analoholic and god is in charge and im not ,and that im not god.at least daily i seem to become aware of my spritual being has done a 360 degree turn.i like that boss i used to hate ,i have alot of really good friends. my experiences are different than other people but the greastest gift is not only the love i have recieved but the gift of humor .thank god for aa this has saved my life


Member: Karen W.
Location: Cleveland, OH
Date: 23 Dec 1998
Time: 22:57:31

Comments

Thank you all for your comments. I identified with so many of them, especially from the woman who's been turned on to Buddhism. I've been a practicing Buddhist for 26 years and the fantastic thing about alcohol is that it doesn't discriminate and that's why I've been able to remain sober in the rooms of A.A. I chant to be in rhythm with the meeting schedules, to find the time to attend like I found the time to drink and to use. I push myself to go to any lengths because I went to any lengths for the drugs of my choice. I pray to remain honest, to myself and others, because the disease of addiction makes a liar out of me. I have spiritual awakenings each day that I wake up and acknowledge that I've been given another chance to be grateful. Happy Holidays, Happy Lives to all of us.


Member: Jerome O
Location: Minnesota
Date: 24 Dec 1998
Time: 02:42:19

Comments

Hi I'm jerome alcoholic. Great topic! This is my first net meeting. I've been having a hard time getting into the spirit of the season, but the comments here are sure to help. I believe my higher power has always been with me, otherwise I wouldn't be here. As I continue to grow in AA my belief in a HP has also grown. Letting go and letting GOD isn't always so easy. Getting closer to my HP is something I have been able to do with AA's help.Thanks for the space. I will be back.


Member: Chris V.
Location: Belleville, Il.
Date: 24 Dec 1998
Time: 03:21:10

Comments

Even though I am only working the second and third steps, I had a chance to have a talk today with someone who has just reached thirty days and is experiencing many of the same feelings that I have. I was able to tell him that I know how he felt and really meant it. I don't know if that is twelfth step work, but I know that I helped myself more than I could have helped him. Merry Christmas everyone!


Member: Karen B.
Location: Tucson, AZ
Date: 24 Dec 1998
Time: 04:45:09

Comments

Love you all, my cyber fellowship. I still get stressed and depressed but I make more of it than it is. I'd have to say, at least from my perspective today, that my spiritual awakening has been gradual and practical. It's true that I was stumbling-drunk one night and praying or more like screaming to God for help - and that ever since then the obsession has not returned. That's remarkable to me. But as for spiritual growth: I'd have to say that I've come to realize that it's real easy for me to become self-centered. Over the years, I think I've matured and that many of my other problems stem from self-centeredness and immaturity. I'm not "mature and giving" all the time by ANY means, but I'm able to see how it's an obstacle to feeling connected and content. Hope you all have a happy holiday - and your local alcathon would love your presence if you can make it.


Member: Sam J
Location: Tennessee
Date: 24 Dec 1998
Time: 10:52:40

Comments

Hi: I'm an alcoholic and my name is Sam. This is a wonderful topic. I have enjoyed all of the comments on the subject. For me, the spiritual awakening has been a very slow process, but I am very grateful that it is happening at all. When I first came through the doors of AA, I was a non-believer. I could not bring myself to believe in a higher power. Needless to say, I didn't stay sober either. This went on for many years until I was forced to open my mind just a tiny bit and become willing to admit that I could possibly be wrong. I saw people around me that were reasonably serene and happy who said that they believed in a higher power. Liquor had humbled me to the point that I was willing to try anything. I said my first prayer and just simply asked "If there is such a thing as a God, will you please help me". The result was wondereful. Suddenly the compulsion to drink was gone and I knew,with total certainty, that God existed and that He would help me if I would only let him. From that moment, I have had a desire to do His will. I can't say that I always immediately know God's will, but it seems to come to me a little bit sooner all the time. If I had not drank my way into alcoholism and came to this wonderful program of Alcoholics Anonymous, I would still not have this Higher Power (God) to turn to. I find that my serenity and peace of mind is directly proportional to the distance I am from my Higher Power. Thank all of you very much for being here and letting me share. God bless all of you and MERRY CHRISTMAS. Sam


Member: Tom A.
Location: Carlisle, AR
Date: 24 Dec 1998
Time: 15:25:50

Comments

Merry Christmas to all have shared their experience, strength and hope with Tom A. this week in the Staying Cyber Discussion Group. A special thank you to D.J. in Norfolk, VA for starting us off in the direction of a spiritual awakening. The beginning of my spiritual awakening began on July 25, 1960 in a Monday night open meeting of Alcoholic's Anonymous at the Ocean View United Methodist Church. It was there that one of the speakers that night said and I quote "Any damn fool can stay sober for 24 hours." These words any many more like them started me on this Happy Road to Destiny and all I can say that any day without a drink of alcohol is a spiriutal awakening for me. I can truly say that I love all of you today and it is the teachings of this fellowship tha brought me to this point. One other suggestion that was given to me by an old AA member, he said "pray for five persons each day and don't let them know about it." I've been doing that for many 24 hours and you know something it really works. Looking forward to another sober Christmas with my AA family.

God Bless - Tom A. ate@gte.net

God Bless - Tom A. ate@gte.net


Member: Victoria D
Location: PA
Date: 24 Dec 1998
Time: 18:09:43

Comments

I'm an alcoholic; my name is Victoria. This is the first time at this meeting. The sharing on the 12th step is very uplifting to read. Just as the step reads I have had a spiritual awakening as the result of taking the previous 11 steps. Today I have a God of my understanding and by practicing Step 11 my relationship with God grows. My spiritual awakening was of the educational variey discussed in the appendix at the back of the Big Book. I came to AA an agnostic--I was raised with a religion but as I became a teenager and then an adult I got no meaning from my religion. I had simply become a critic. Not once did I ever think I might have a responsibility to work at seeking a relationship with God. The Steps of AA changed that. I believe part of the reward of practicing the second half of Step 12 (carrying the message and practicing the principles learned in the first 11 steps) is a growing and stronger relationship with God. Another reward is a contented, sober life.


Member: Bruce T.
Location: Indiana
Date: 25 Dec 1998
Time: 01:13:09

Comments

My name is Bruce, and I'm an Alcoholic. What a great topic. Discussing the steps is one of my favorite things to do. Today the term "Spiritual Awakening" has a different meaning than it did when I first got sober. I believe this is because it was impossible to affect that personallity change untill I had gone through the 12 Steps. Having worked with my sponser on the 12 Steps I could begin to affect that change. Then, by living these things I had been shown I could continue this change. It has been proven to me by countless people that if you do not get through and then start to live these principles you will not have the neccessary "Spiritual Awakening" and you will continue to live out of the Grace of God, and therefore in conflict with everyone and everything around you . For an Alcoholic this is unbearable it seems unless he/she can dull the conflict this creates. So you see, for me today, the term "Spiritual Awakening," has nothing to do with a burning bush or the big flash of light. It has to do with doing Gods will and living in harmony with my fellows. I am able to accomplish as The Result of These Steps. Thank You A.A.


Member: Josh H
Location: Ft. Mitchell,Ky
Date: 25 Dec 1998
Time: 03:01:07

Comments

Hi,I'm Josh -alcoholic and sober today by the grace of God.I am slow learner,The "educational variety".I am 10 months old w/2.5 years trying,but I haven't drank today and that's what matters.

My spiritual awakening/psychic change has been very gradual.You see,I have a nasty habit of cutting off the sunlight of the spirit and reclaiming control of my life.When I do this my worst traits resurface and bury any growth I have experienced.I do this on a regular basis and always run back to my a.a. friends with my tail between my legs, wondering why I feel so awful.One would think this would be obvious to me,but it's not.Pardon my negativity.Thank God I'm sober. GOD CAN,I CAN'T!!!!! I'm so forgetful.

I just wanted to spill my guts.

I salute you and thank you for your lives..


Member: David H.
Location: N.S. -Canada
Date: 25 Dec 1998
Time: 10:40:05

Comments

Merry Christmas Everyone, I'm David - alcoholic I posted at 2:00 a.m. , now it's 11:30 a.m. and it's a BEAUTIFUL DAY here in N.S. [ posted on C.P. ] R.E.-- SPIRITUALITY

My sponser has 38 + years and a very possitive attitude. He says, " David, if you are still above ground, you still have a chance". Some of you are hurting to-day I know, [don't mean to belittle] but I just went through a small depression and with a lot of PRAYER came out the other side.[lots of help from A.A. and family]

It's true:GOD COULD & WOULD, IF HE WERE SOUGHT.

May He bless you all, one day at a time. Time to open gifts[a lot of x-mas morns. were spent DRUNK ON THE COUCH] have a great day and STAY OFF THAT COUCH!

+


Member: Joe S
Location: E.Stroudsburg Pa.
Date: 25 Dec 1998
Time: 13:47:16

Comments

hi im joe and im a grateful alcoholic,just wanted to wish all my friends in the poconos a very happy holiday season and a sober one.as for the 12th step without the willingness to live these steps in my life today i would not be in front of this computer.unity service recovery are the keyboards i need to punch every day love to all merry christmas to everyone.


Member: James S
Location: northeast wa.
Date: 25 Dec 1998
Time: 14:02:19

Comments

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE James S here after 13 years I have found that we have a daily repieve and that I cannot stay sober on yesterdays spiritual awakening. as I start my day prayer and metation and try to apply these steps in my daily life I have a spiritual awakening. Thanks James


Member: Edith F.
Location: NC
Date: 26 Dec 1998
Time: 01:58:13

Comments

Hi guys. I'm Edith and I'm an alcoholic. It's now 1:46AM and I went online to find my first cyber AA meeting. Thanks for sharing. As happens when I go to a meeting, God always gives me what I need. I am officially working on step one with my sponsor, but on Christmas Eve morning, I woke up and did not want a drink (MIRACLE!). Instead of my usual long-winded prayer, I simply asked God to help me not take a drink that day and to let me be in His perfect will.

I had a "pinkcloud" day like you wouldn't believe. I felt love and joy and peace and freedom. Those emotions were so overwhelming that I had a great deal of trouble dealing with them (almost as much as dealing with the anger, resentments, hurt, pain, etc I've been dealing with in the 2 months I've been in the AA program.) I went to a High Noon meeting and realized that I was HAPPY!!! It had been so long since I had been truly happy that I had forgotten what it felt like. I cried like a baby!!!

That for me is my first spiritual awakening since coming into this program and it did not occur until I turned my life and will over to the God of my understanding. I spent years looking for happiness and "selfishly seeking pleasure" but found it when I asked the God of my understanding to help me be in His perfect will.

The "pinkcloud" day carried over to Christmas Day and I have never had a better Christmas. Nearly 2000 years ago the God of my understanding sent His Son to save me from my sins. Nothing happens by mistake in His world. It took everything I've ever done in my entire life to get me to this point today.

I thank MY HIGHER POWER and the fellowship of AA for the beginning of this spiritual awakening. I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING! He could and did.

Thanks for letting me share. I love you all.


Member: Mary W.
Location:
Date: 26 Dec 1998
Time: 10:28:28

Comments

I am Mary and a relapsed alcoholic. I am in an isolated location and am SO BLESSED to have located this meeting. I looked up a cyber meeting 2 years ago when I moved here since there is only one meeting a week an hour away from me, but I got discouraged and decided to try to stay sober "other" ways. My faith is very strong, always has been, but praying for God's deliverance and then not following up on his messages, has left me picking up or really wanting to. I pray constantly but it is the HUMAN contact that I have missed. I feel renewed reading you messages. I'll be back - for more of the great messages I am receiving AND listening to!!


Member: Frank A
Location: New Haven Ct
Date: 26 Dec 1998
Time: 11:22:49

Comments

Hi Im Frank fron Ct, This is the first time I have been to this Web Page I think its awsome! I want to thank everyone for thier honesty, I have been coming to meeting for about 13Years and I have had a terrible time and looking back at it, it was all because I never submit 100% to my HP. I hate myself for it.I often think how it would be if I got sober a lot earlier in my life, but I need to maintain a positive spirit through anything God gives me! It says in the bible that he will never give us more than we can handle! and I believe that. Well i feel blessed just to be a part of this disscussion. I am so glad that this meeting exists. Now I know anytime day or night if I feel a little " Funky", I can hop on my computer and just relax and read how other people do it. I thank God for saving my life and I thank God for all of you people. Thanks for letting me share!


Member: Mary L.
Location: Lake Tapps Wa.
Date: 26 Dec 1998
Time: 13:19:42

Comments

Howdy, Just got this computor for X-Mas and is just another blessing recieved through turning my life and will over to the care of my Higher Power. This would not have been possible 3 years ago when I ran my life according to my plans and designs. Since I've been sober I've been given the courage to quit a job that I held for twenty years. I've been given the blessing of time to get to know myself. I lost my first sponcer to cancer two months ago and was lead to my new sponser, one that I'm going to go listen to her story at a speaker meeting tonight.When I just let my heart lead me it takes me to places I couldn't begin to imagine. HP has given me another chance at this life and for that I'm grateful. Now I ask what I can do for Him or Her in return. A.A Hugs and Kisses.


Member: Andrea O
Location: London
Date: 26 Dec 1998
Time: 14:35:36

Comments

Seaons Greetings to all attending the meeting. My name is Andrea and I am an alcoholic. I've been trying to find an on-line meeting and ended up here - I think it is amazing that I'm sitting here in my spare bedroom in London having a meeting with people from all over the world!

I have just been in conference with my H.P., praying for patient understanding as my husband sets up my new computer. I was very anxious to have a go (typical) and I wanted it all set up and ready NOW!!

I have had many spiritual experiences during my AA recovery from chronic alcoholism but just the one, ongoing, spiritual awakening. I can't recall the exact day that I became aware that I and the world seemed to have changed (but funnily enough, everything was still the same), I suppose I was around 18 mths-2 yrs sober. It was the time that I had started to seek God, with some urgency as the honeymoon was over and I was left with some pretty disturbing fears, thoughts, fantasies and phobias. My prays were answered in those astounding 'coincidences' that we in AA marvel at and I eventually came to believe in my own HP and then to depend upon this newfound source of strength, which to my surprise I discovered was within me. It was at this point that I began the path of sobriety, rather than recovery, which had begun a couple of years earlier. The fruits of staying sober and trying my (sometimes poor) best to live as I belive God wants me to are too many to list, but today my heart is full of love and my mind is at peace. I have spent a wonderful sober Christmas with my family. Everything went according to plan, the turkey was perfect, the gifts were just what we all wanted, my little house was warm and cosy. I always flip back in memory time to the last drinking Christmas (almost 17 years ago, when the turkey was thrown across the kitchen floor during a flaming argument, I grabbed a bottle of brandy and spent Christmas afternoon sitting on a park bench alone with my bottle. The saddest thing was that I liked it that way, I just wanted to be alone with the booze.

Thank God and my friends (including you!) in AA that I need never go through that again.

Best wishes for a peaceful and sober New Year


Member: Gary C.
Location: Houston
Date: 26 Dec 1998
Time: 17:34:34

Comments

Hi, I'm Gary & an alcoholic. The subject of spiritual awakenings is one of my favorites, as it is my main reason for for staying sober today. I had my first spiritual awakening when I truly did a third step. You see, this is my third attempt at AA, and this time feels differently than the previous. My other attempts were a sham as I never really surrendered to my higher power. Once I handed over the controls to my life, I have found serenity as I never had it before. Life itself has not changed, but the way I deal with it has.By turning it over to my higher power, I experience a lot of 'little miracles' especially when I compare the 'then' and 'now'. The second major spiritual awakening came after what I call a 'pink cloud stall' when I had to come back down from the outer stratosphere. God answered my cries for help then too.

God Bless and thanks for sharing and letting me share.


Member: Margie P
Location: Syracuse, NY
Date: 26 Dec 1998
Time: 17:54:01

Comments

HI everyone, I am an alcoholic. They call me margie. I am grateful to have found you here. "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps" certainly implies that I must ned to "work" these Steps...all of them...all of the time. Ever so gradually, I am coming to understand that I am awakening spiritually. I feel and understand this each time I intuitivelyknow hoe to handle things that used to baffle me! Just like the promises say. When I have come to understand and forgive myself for what I was and where I went, I have the capacity for the same with others. As I practice theses principals in all of my affairs, I become testament to the fact that AA works not obly to restore this body and mind to sobriety but that the quality of my life improves so that any blind person can "see". It is then and only then that I am in a position to carry this message to alcoholics; because I have been there and my experiences are not unique to to a drunk. What I have to sdhare is a "naked" me - nothing hidden anymore. There is nothing about who I am and where I've been that I will hide for, in doing so, I rob my constituents of my ESH that quite possibly could be the thing that they need to convince themself that here is a way out. God Bless you all for your shares and for being who you are and allowing me to benefit from you. Thank you for letting me share!


Member: jean o
Location: syracuse ny
Date: 26 Dec 1998
Time: 19:41:07

Comments

don't know what to say i have 7 months still new at this haven'tattended alot of meetings haven't felt the need i still think how nice it would be to sit and drink a beer but i know i hated me when i drank i have 4 kids and a husband who hated metoo i feel my higher power is a better me i believe in god as a hgher power also but i believe he gave me free will to do what i want and what i want is to stay sober and continue to grow as i have in the past 7 months 8 months ago i was only hanging on to a job bcause i had a stupid boss who bought all the excusesthat us alkys are sogood at i made promise to my family i rarely kept but the biggest problem i had was i couldn't stay dunk enough to totally forget that what i was doing ws emotionally and physically killing me and those around me by never forgetting who i was 8 m0nths ago i have stayed sober and intend to stay that way i go to a meeting about every other week to remind myself i still need to hear other people say hey i been there and there is a way out anybody out there just beginning the long journey back it gets better as you go each day you find something new that you missed all those years just keep looking you'll find them if at sometime we're desparate for a topic guilt is a good one we've all got it and i haven't seemed to quite come to terms with that one yet well merry xmas to all thanks for listening to me ramble


Member: KERRY F.
Location: DOVER,DE
Date: 26 Dec 1998
Time: 20:26:35

Comments

I'M KERRY AND I,M ALCOHOLIC. ALTHOUGH I DID'NT HAVE MUCH OF A BELIEF IN ANY SUCH HIGHER POWER.IN DESPERATION,I GOT ON MY KNEE,S AND DID MY FIRST STEP.IT WAS KIND OF A LAST CHANCE FOR ME.ALL ELSE HAD FAILED ME,DOCTORS ECT.SHORTLY THERAFTER A SERIES OF SMALL MIRACLES BEGAN TO TAKE PLACE.THEY CAME ABOUT SO RAPIDLY THAT THEY WENT BEYOND COINCIDENCE.I REALLY AT THAT POINT COULD NO LONGER DENY THAT THERE HAD TO BE SOME HIGHER POWER AT THIS POINT DIRECTING MY LIFE.HAVING BEEN BROUGHT UP IN A CATHOLIC HOME I JUST FIGURED IT WAS GOD.I DO BELIEVE THAT THE SAME POWER THAT DIRECTED BILL W. AND DR. BOB SMITH IS THE SAME GOD THAT KEEPS ME SOBER EVERY DAY.THE DESIRE TO DRINK HAS LONG SINCE BEEN REMOVED AND THIS IN ITSELF IS A MIRACLE,AS I WAS ACTIVE FOR A LONG LONG TIME.ANDI TRUELY ENJOYED THE EFFECTS I GOT FROM DRINKING.I THOUGHT IT WOULD ALWAYS BE A PART OF MY LIFE. BUT I`VE FOUND THAT I REALLY ENJOY BEING SOBER TOO.AND IT MAKES FOR A GOOD CONVERSATION PIECE WHEN PEOPLE FIND OUT I NO LONGER DRINK BECAUSE ITS SOMETHING THAT WAS ALWAYS MY TRADEMARK...''FLANNY THE GOOD IRISH CATHOLIC''.I'M THANKFUL TO ALL THE HELP I'VE GOTTEN FROM GOD AND THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE IN THE FELLEWSHIP OF AA. TODAY I HAVE A NEW AND BETTER LIFE.AND LOOK AT ALL THE MONEY I,M SAVING TODAY. NOW IF I COULD ONLY STOP SMOKING.THANKS FOR LETTING ME SHARE WITH YOU.


Member: KERRY F.
Location: DOVER,DE
Date: 26 Dec 1998
Time: 20:27:37

Comments

I'M KERRY AND I,M ALCOHOLIC. ALTHOUGH I DID'NT HAVE MUCH OF A BELIEF IN ANY SUCH HIGHER POWER.IN DESPERATION,I GOT ON MY KNEE,S AND DID MY FIRST STEP.IT WAS KIND OF A LAST CHANCE FOR ME.ALL ELSE HAD FAILED ME,DOCTORS ECT.SHORTLY THERAFTER A SERIES OF SMALL MIRACLES BEGAN TO TAKE PLACE.THEY CAME ABOUT SO RAPIDLY THAT THEY WENT BEYOND COINCIDENCE.I REALLY AT THAT POINT COULD NO LONGER DENY THAT THERE HAD TO BE SOME HIGHER POWER AT THIS POINT DIRECTING MY LIFE.HAVING BEEN BROUGHT UP IN A CATHOLIC HOME I JUST FIGURED IT WAS GOD.I DO BELIEVE THAT THE SAME POWER THAT DIRECTED BILL W. AND DR. BOB SMITH IS THE SAME GOD THAT KEEPS ME SOBER EVERY DAY.THE DESIRE TO DRINK HAS LONG SINCE BEEN REMOVED AND THIS IN ITSELF IS A MIRACLE,AS I WAS ACTIVE FOR A LONG LONG TIME.ANDI TRUELY ENJOYED THE EFFECTS I GOT FROM DRINKING.I THOUGHT IT WOULD ALWAYS BE A PART OF MY LIFE. BUT I`VE FOUND THAT I REALLY ENJOY BEING SOBER TOO.AND IT MAKES FOR A GOOD CONVERSATION PIECE WHEN PEOPLE FIND OUT I NO LONGER DRINK BECAUSE ITS SOMETHING THAT WAS ALWAYS MY TRADEMARK...''FLANNY THE GOOD IRISH CATHOLIC''.I'M THANKFUL TO ALL THE HELP I'VE GOTTEN FROM GOD AND THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE IN THE FELLEWSHIP OF AA. TODAY I HAVE A NEW AND BETTER LIFE.AND LOOK AT ALL THE MONEY I,M SAVING TODAY. NOW IF I COULD ONLY STOP SMOKING.THANKS FOR LETTING ME SHARE WITH YOU.


Member: Doyne S
Location: Virginia
Date: 26 Dec 1998
Time: 20:56:52

Comments

I'm Doyne. I am a alcholic. I really needed a meeting tonight, so I found this one. Great topic. My girlfried and I argued on Christmas Eve. I spent Christmas Day alone. I had the feelings of drowning my sorrows. After reading tonight I reel alot better. Thank God for you people.


Member: Jim S.
Location: Portland, OR
Date: 26 Dec 1998
Time: 23:30:25

Comments

Hi, I'm Jim, an alcoholic. I've felt very depressed today as some of the financial ramifications of my drinking have surfaced . . . empty bank accounts, wondering how to pay bills before the next payday. My partner has borne some of the weight of this, and I've felt guilty and ashamed all day. I wanted to go to a meeting, but I was afraid that if I left the house alone I would "stray" and find myself sitting on a barstool rather than a folding chair in a meeting. Thanks to all of you who are here. The fact that you are all here to share your experience, strength and hope is a gift from my higher power. A gift with the message "no need to try it alone!" Thanks to the fellowship for being in a way the presence of my HP in my life.


Member: h.c.
Location: Helsinki
Date: 27 Dec 1998
Time: 00:51:32

Comments

My name is homeotropiclateralcollandermesh and i am an alcoholic. A spiritual awakening thus far on my road to sobriety consists of the subtle yet unmistakable awareness that growth is a function of prioritizing my wants and desires with reference to my needs. God is my backseat driver, but i am responsible for my own decisions.


Member: Keith G.
Location: Montreal, Canada
Date: 27 Dec 1998
Time: 01:41:11

Comments

Hi, I'm Keith...alcoholic/addict. I just returned from my home group, Saturday Night Follies in Montreal where I gave my sponcee, Dave, his one year cake. Being the holidays we had a stand up and share rather than a speaker meeting which went surprisingly well. Many shared on their holiday experiences both "before and after". Dave chose to sing a song of gratitude accompanied by his guitar. Now Dave and I knew each other in our drinking and using days and I've got to say...what a change. We were the epitomy of raunch...Bar fights, broken bottles and dreams, car accidents (one friend was in a coma for months)...but what a change. He has truly risen to the soaring heights of humility, and hearing him sing of his gratitude was a spiritual experience for me...and I've had many. I wish you all a happy and sober new year and invite you to Montreal for a snowy rendezvous anytime.

Keith at goodwink@sprint.ca


Member: TJ
Location:
Date: 27 Dec 1998
Time: 02:17:43

Comments

Hi I am TJ and an alcoholic. For me I don't believe I have had one spiritual awwakening, rather it has been like everything else I have been given in this program, it has been a contiuous journey ever unfolding. In fact lately more has been revealed and I am seeing that in order to continue to become more awake I need to keep asking for guidance and direction and the removal of those nasty but motivating character defects that stand in my way. The awakening came when I realized They were character defects. I had believed for sometime that those defects were my assets. They worked for so long, but as my H.P. continues to walk me on this path new information must flow into my spiritual thoughts. Life is good when I am willing to stay awake and aware, when I close my mind things begin to get fuzzy. Does this make sense to anyone else? Thanks for allowing me to share.


Member: Mike L
Location: Atlanta
Date: 27 Dec 1998
Time: 10:17:06

Comments

Hi I'm Mike and an alcoholic--makes perfect sense to me--am most miserable when I'm "closed off". Sometimes I can't "force" my way out. I pray to ride it out and try to do the next right thing which sometimes for me even means being still and do nothing.Thanks for letting me share