Member: paul m
Location: bryn mawr, pa
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 5:57:15 PM

Comments

i have two days sober


Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 6:00:36 PM

Comments

What is God's will for me today? I have not the foggiest. But, for the moment it is to sit here at this computer and type. That alone will help me not take a drink today.

I have been sober a bit over nineteen years. During that period of time, God has not seen fit to sit down with me at my breakfast table and give me the "Plan of the Day" (ole navy man here.)

Deep inside me is a fundamental concept of God. I had to figure out how to get Him to surface. I do that with steps Four through Nine. I get right with me, then I get right with you.

The complexion of this program changes with the transition from Step 6 to Step 7. In Step six, I was ready to have remove these defects of character. "These defects" from the fourth column of the fourth step. In the 7th, I ask God to remove my shortcomings. This includes the ones I conveniently "forgot" or inadvertantly overlooked. He removes the ones that stand in His way.

So up to six I been working the Steps as I perceived them From seven on. I am now working the steps as God Perceives them.

Thass all folks,

Bill az-bill@primenet.com


Member: 123
Location:
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 6:35:05 PM

Comments

TESTING


Member: SeMiGoD
Location: ND
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 6:47:48 PM

Comments

Hey Bill...thats pretty kewl...it must be nice to say you have 19 years under your belt...im confident that in 19 years ill be able to say the same thing...tho unlike most members...i dont live by the 12 steps...well in some respects i do but for the most part i live by the memories of my past...things ive done things i didnt do and basically look at the way i acted...i now see life as treat others the way you yourself would like to be treated and i couldnt do that as a drunk so now i enjoy doing it sober. Im currently in an aftercare program which i wouldnt be in if i wasent court ordered but i have to say i dont mind going because its comfortable thete which is more than i can say for my primary and for any AA meeting ive ever been to. As far as this message board is concerned...how would you people feel about attending a live chat format also? Im an administrator on a chat network and if enough people from this board are interested id like to set up a chat room there. There is 1 already there now but most of the time its pretty inactive. Well..i think ive said about all i have to say for now...goin X-Mas shopping and have a good sober day :)


Member: ardis
Location:
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 7:32:56 PM

Comments

i have no money to by x-mas presents again this year,so everyone be thankfull for what you have,

ardis


Member: Charlie Darling
Location: Key West Fl
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 7:41:50 PM

Comments

Hi Family Charlie Darling a very grateful recovering alcholic, There for the grace of god goes I, it has been cropping up wherever I look latly. At work is where it happens most, as I work with a couple of men who are constantly hung over in the morning or don't show up for work, but the other day I saw myself what I was like a few years back, This one fellow was late for work could'nt remember the night before, and no matter what he tried to do was going wrong, and he got madder by the minute, and I just said on my god thats me when I drank, and today I am gratful I am not that person, and the new comers thank you for helping me to keep it green, as I don't want to go back to the way it used to be, and I can only do it one day at a time and with the help of my family. Thank you all for being there for me. I Love you. kwduke@keysdigital.com


Member: Bob S.
Location: Salt Lake
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 7:53:44 PM

Comments

Hi all, I'm Bob, an alcoholic.

Not sure of a topic here, but, by the way my G~d works, sounds like it may working with the newcomer. I don't know? Paul, glad to hear about your two days. Congratulations. My first two were very scary. Didn't know who I was without alcohol in me. No identity. That feeling of uncertainty and fear of everything, has gone. I used AA's 12 steps. Still do. It works for me. I've used quite a few other kinds of 'therapy', as suggested on page 133 of the BB, also. I still go through periods/situations of uncertainty but I'd call them normal. Situations I need to learn to deal with, most often with people. Don't think I'm very smart about relations with people, but am a willing student. My heart has been in my recovering life most of the time, and my head out, but not always. Taking that to AA meetings and talking about what's in my life, from my heart, works pretty well. Paul, thanks for taking the risk to come here and tell us/me you're two days sober. Love to all, Bob


Member: Ariel
Location: Canada
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 8:05:35 PM

Comments

I am new to all of this. So far when I wake up tomorrow I will have my first 7 days under my belt. I have tried this before with AA and without AA. This time I am using AA on the internet and using the vitamin and mineral regiment according to the book "Seven Weeks to Sobriety". I have also just finished reading the book "Under the Influence" I have dug out my old Big Bible along witht the 12x12 book. I really think the difference this time around has been the knowledge outside of AA that I have discovered and the vitamins and minerals I have been taking.

I too am not sure what the topic is for the forum this week, but I would like to suggest "What changes health wise did you make to help make quitting alcohol a little easier?"

Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Rick
Location: Texas
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 9:07:10 PM

Comments

Hello everyone. I see a couple of interesting suggestions here. Semi-god, if you decide to go ahead with a "live" chat-room, let us know. We try to limit the number of times each person contributes here each week and a live conversation might be nice when things are rough or when someone needs to talk more.

Ariel, let us know how your approaches work out. I have found that since I quit being a drunk, all areas of my life have improved dramatically - including physical. Abusing alcohol destroys so much of what I want for my life. You suggest a good topic.

I would like to suggest one of my own in addition to those already here. Since the holidays are coming up, the temptation to drink is stronger. Parties are more prevalent, and alcohol is invariably available.

Perhaps we can also discuss some practical ways to handle these temptations.

Thanks to all,


Member: alcoholic
Location: trudging the road...
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 9:29:57 PM

Comments

hi i'm an alcoholic

ariel...don't take the first drink, go to meetings, read the big book, get a sponser, clean house...all very helpful suggestions that sound like cliques but speak volumes as far as i'm concerned

i have been blessed..i no longer have the craving but i do have problems in living. i haven't been able to work with the newcomer a whole lot....

i remember my first days of sobriety well...i was on the emotional "pink cloud" returning from treatment after having a spiritual awakening and reality crashed back in after i ignorantly thought people, place, and things would change with my new outlook. i attended aftercare and meetings intermittently but my emotional problems remained. finally after about two years of misery i began working the program as i was just as miserable as when i entered the program. there, aa taught me to live with others and more importantly with others.

i'll take another 24, keep coming back, it works if you work it


Member: an alcoholic
Location: trudging the road...
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 9:31:53 PM

Comments

sorry for the "double dip" live with others and most importantly with myself


Member: Rhonda K.
Location: Derry, N.H.
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 10:00:59 PM

Comments

Hi I'm Rhonda and I am an alcoholic. Good topic (to me they all are). Nov. l, 2000 I celebrated my l year of sobriety with the help of my HP and the tools of AA. Every thing does get better when we put down the drink. Wanting to get well so badly I have taken all suggestions so 3 months in I got a physical and thank you God no damage from abusing my body for years was found. I think brain cells do wake up also (humor). Being an alcoholic who likes to complicate things I try to keep it simply. Hungry, angry, lonely or tired. I eat lunch on most days where I never ate during the day before.

In the early weeks and months of sobriety I found that a candy bar can really help me to feel better. Haven't there been studies on this? I really enjoy this site as a bonsus meeting in addition to my weekl;y meetings. Thanks for being here so I could post. P.S. While active my beauty routine was a daily shower. I've rediscovered make-up and curlers. I look and feel better than ever!


Member: Robert L
Location: Arkansas
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 10:19:40 PM

Comments

I'm Robert, an alcoholic. When I was in treatment this year it was pointed out to me that it would be easy to become cross-addicted to something else, once the alcohol was dealt with. The staff were very concerned that I not become addicted to exercise, which makes me feel very good. I run and ride a bike 4 days a week. I love sweet things too, another addiction which placates my pleasure center in the brain. It goes on with coffee, cigarettes etc. all substitutes for an addiction. So now I don't drink alcohol, coffee or any caffeine drinks, or eat chocolate, cakes or cookies, but I still want to run and eat sugary candies. I like this online meeting format, thank you for being there.


Member: Ann B.
Location: Philadelphia
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 10:56:05 PM

Comments

My name is Ann. I am a grateful recovering alcoholic. I have been sober for 6 years and 4 months. In the beginning I asked God not to let me have an obsession because I was so stubborn, strong willed and compulsive. I have never had an obsession. My son died 2 years ago and I never had the desire to drink only to die. That too has passed. I feel an overwhelming loss, but extremely grateful for AA and the support of my home group. One day at a time. Thank you GOD!!!!


Member: Cool Male
Location: California
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 10:58:30 PM

Comments

That's cool, but I never got throwed in jail for running to much. Ot smoking too much. Or eating too much candy.


Member: joseph
Location: Orange County
Date: 12/4/00
Time: 12:36:54 AM

Comments

Well here i go again, saying i will stop. It is very hard to do. The longest for me has been 4 months, hopefully I can beat that record. It always starts with just one drink a week, but somwheres it snowballs out of control. I know I am an alcoholic, but what makes it hard for me is that I am a very functional alcoholic. Well we will see how long it lasts.


Member: Bert.K.
Location: Victoria  Australia.
Date: 12/4/00
Time: 7:18:54 AM

Comments

Hi Bert.K. from aussie land down under,Alkie but not practicing. joseph do yourself a very very very big favour. GO TO A.A. GET A HOME GROUP, GET A SPONSOR,AND MAYBE STAY ALIVE. My friend it worked for me and it will work for you too if you give it a fair chance, try it for three Months and keep an open mind,we need you,I have been needing alkies around me for a long time to remind me of what my life was like. So please joseph I need you. I thank A.A. for God and I thank God for A.A. Love you all Bert.K.


Member: Mark D.
Location: manchester, NH
Date: 12/4/00
Time: 9:14:27 AM

Comments

I'm grateful to be able to post on these meetings as I do not share much at all in my home group or most of the meetings I attend. Next week will be 3 months for me and even though I feel that I'm doing pretty well I don't feel that I have that much to contribute to my home group. I chose this group because they have a very solid core of happy people with many members with years of sobriety in double digits. There is a deep pool of wisdom to be shared there. Plus people are warm and friendly but always direct and on point when it's needed. I have yet to get anything but a temporary sponsor. I'll soon be asking one of my home group members to suggest someone. Sorry to get off the topic but it doesn't seem that there really is one yet so I thought I'd just thank everyone for litening and appreciating this unique forum. One word--gratitude.


Member: andrew c.
Location: memphis
Date: 12/4/00
Time: 9:28:16 AM

Comments

joseph, I am a "functional" alcoholic as well. Work out many times a week, maintain my legal profession, and don't look my age. But the interior (of me) is a shambles due to the alcohol, and I admit it. I hope and pray I stay off the sauce, as this is my only hope.


Member: Marty G.
Location: Manitowoc, WI.
Date: 12/4/00
Time: 9:37:37 AM

Comments

Hi all. THe only thing that works for me is, Dont drink, go to meetings, and read the big book. Something said to me early in recovery. I will have 6 years in Jan. However I still watch myself for complacency, as it happened quite a few times in my first years of trying to stay sober. It took me 20 years of going out there, and thinking it would be better; it wasnt it only got worse each time. Hang in there, it really does get better. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: peter d.
Location: AUSTRALIA
Date: 12/4/00
Time: 10:14:07 AM

Comments

hi ...peter is my name and im a proud and happy member of this wonderful fellowship. great to hear you RHONDA from DERRY...i hail originally also from DERRY but thats in IRELAND and in a different life. had my first meeting at 22 in IRELAND then 5 more years of insane drinking and then the penny dropped...i admitted defeat and i found peace and serenity and one day at a time on CHRISTMAS EVE i will celebrate 18 years of soberity and going to AA meetings to help me maintain what took me so long to establish. For me ....I reckon its SMART to be sober and its SMARTER to stay sober. So if you are just having a look at AA ...look at what the booze is costing you [and im not taking only about money!!!] self-respect gone or going?,becoming angrier all the time? , increasing health problems?...try 90 meetings in 90 days and after that YOU WILL KNOW what the issues are in your life about booze. thanks for being here...peter


Member: miriam w.
Location: Glen Burnie, MD
Date: 12/4/00
Time: 2:09:19 PM

Comments

I'm glad you are all here today. Didn't make the meetings I wanted to this weekend due to other commitments and can't go tonight because of therapy so reading the postings here today keeps me focused on what I want to do and what I'm doing. Congratulations on your 2 todays, Saturday I accomplished 10 months for the 3rd time. This time, quality is better then quantity. I am actually doing what has been suggested to me in my association with A.A. over the past 10years. Don't drink, go to meetings, get and utilize a sponsor, and work the steps. Things don't get better, but you will.


Member: Greg S.
Location: Ft. Wayne
Date: 12/4/00
Time: 2:11:46 PM

Comments

Hi, my name is Greg. This is my very first AA meeting, so please be patient with me. I always believed I had a problem with alcohol as I was unable to turn it off, once I got started. I could easily go for weeks without drinking, but once I had an opportunity, I took it....and boy did I take it. The reality hit home one night a couple months ago, when I went into a guard rail, protecting a brick building, going about 75mph. Unfortunately with me, it took such a huge event to wake me up to my problem. But fortunately, I was not seriously hurt, I did not hurt anyone else (physically that is) and I have been given an opportunity to put my life straight with my family, my career and with God. I am looking to all of you for an ear, and support, as I will give 100% in listening to you, and supporting you. As of today, I have gone 59 days without a drink. My goal is forever.


Member: Graeme B
Location: Jersey CI
Date: 12/4/00
Time: 4:33:29 PM

Comments

Hi Greg, Keep it all in the day if you can. Hang onto the meetings like a drowning person grabs a life preserver. Listen and learn, and a day at a time you will make it. Stay with the winners, those who have dipped their toes in everything and finally stayed with the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. It all might sound quite smug and easy, I can assure you it isnt...but it works. A day at a time this alkie has kept clean for nearly 9 years, in the beginning I never thought it possible that I could change. What a difference today. Keep with the meetings face to face in the rooms if you can, and use the internet too as sharing is great for us. Keeping it all to yourself ends up with "white knuckle sobriety"...and that's no place to be either. If you want it bad enough you will get it. Hang in there and good luck. With the help of the fellowship and your HP I'm sure we will see you posting for years to come. e-mail me if you wish....graeme.blomps@localdial.com. There is loads of support available if you ask. Graeme.


Member: Anonymous
Location:
Date: 12/4/00
Time: 6:11:21 PM

Comments

About this topic staying sober, and the ongoing effort thereof; it is written: "If by the spirit, you put away the misdeeds of the body ye shall live." Strong drink in excess is a misdeed of the body. Excess is a tell tale sign of a lonly way to live, its the life of someone who is fatherless or a widow, one who is as it were an orphen after all this time. Man canst not well live without some consolation and for anyone that hath not God though at the time he forsook him he took it litely, this decision has a way of leaving one with and emptyness that goes undefined, for the spirit hath left him. I went on for years not knowing the richness of God that I was devoid of; one bad day leads to another and it follows that one drink leads to another also. The word I like to think of most in coming out of this backslide is the word "quest" 'The Qusst For God.' This is the name of a book written by a christian author by the name of A. W. Tozar who wrote about this quest. Of course there is no better book than the Good Book when it comes to reconcilation with God, and for the relief of emptyness and the only true refuge that may be found to abide in; If then, "by the spirit ye put away the misdeeds of the body ye shall live." It is this quest for God that takes the place of this other way of life by little and little. Who says I have to quit drinking as they say, cold turkey? But and if, ye follow after godliness, godliness will follow after you. Much of this change over is the work of God who opens and no man closes and who closes and no man opens. Some folks seek after sobriety, thinking that God will then follow after; and some folks seek after God, thinking that sobriety will then follow after. But this I know to be true, that God doesn't always follow after sobriety, nor does sobriety always follow after God; But if I am to seek after only one of these two, let me die drunk with God rather than sober without him....


Member: Steve F.
Location: Wenham, MA
Date: 12/4/00
Time: 6:31:41 PM

Comments

Steve, alcoholic

For Greg and Joseph - one of the most important things I have learned by going regularly to AA meetings and by reading the book "Alcoholics Anonymous" is that I only need to stay away from one drink (i.e. the first one) for one day (i.e. today). That's what they mean in AA when they say "One day at a time."


Member: Walt
Location: NorCal
Date: 12/4/00
Time: 6:58:28 PM

Comments

Walt, alcoholic...I was sitting here reading and the notion came to me what a miracle my life is today. Today is the only one I have, but it took so long to learn that...congrats on yours, Paul. You have begun the journey, and as that other fellow said, just continue to put one foot in front of the other and things will change to the point where you will not recognize yourself. When I remember what it was like it seems to me that I'm thinking about someone I knew, but don't really remember. The way I learned to cope with the holidays was to remember that there were one heck of alot of people in the world who just saw them as part of the year and not any more or less special than the rest. The BB talks at lenght about how to approach parties and other occasions where alcohol may rear it's ugly head. via con Dios


Member: Shaun M
Location: PA
Date: 12/4/00
Time: 7:07:49 PM

Comments

I am conducting a research project for my college english class. The purpose of this project is to pick a topic which I have found intereset in and try to find ways to make this problem better. I have chose Alcoholism because there are many college students among others who have problems with abusing Alcohol and other drugs. I am looking for some ways in which people handle these problems. Or ways that you can avoid these problems.

Thank You


Member: Malou
Location: Montreal
Date: 12/4/00
Time: 7:10:12 PM

Comments

Hi Everybody, I am glad so many of you are finally realizing that alcohol is dangerous and will kill you. What a cunning and devastating addiction. Even now there are moments when I crave a drink dispite the fact that I know that I will immediately want another, and another until I am back into that awful pit of despair, lonliness and illness that I finally escaped from. I have to stop and think of all the things I would lose if I take that first drink. My sanity, my health, my laughter, my hope. We just had our company Christmas party and I was afraid to go. I compromised. I decided I would go to the party until 8h30pm and leave to catch an AA meeting at 9pm. It was a great idea. I was gone and safe before the drinking got started. Today I am feeling hurt about another matter, but with the 12 steps I can see where I am responsible and tonight I will say I am sorry to someone. It may not help, but my side of the road will be clean. I wish you all a sober 24 hours.


Member: 0b4
Location:
Date: 12/4/00
Time: 7:43:01 PM

Comments

shaun m., wer'e just a bunch of drunks trying to get well without us.....you coudnt do your report,so listen and learn..................

0b4


Member: LU-LU
Location:
Date: 12/4/00
Time: 8:06:20 PM

Comments

DO WE HAVE A TOPIC????


Member: Norm P
Location: Indiana
Date: 12/4/00
Time: 8:12:04 PM

Comments

Greg-What a pleasure it is to catch a drunk in my own back yard! My e-mail address is: Not2Brite1@hotmail.com Don't hesitate to use it-soon and often. Through e-mail,we could exchange some personal information so we can meet face to face. I used to have trouble staying sober for 12 hours,hard to believe it's been 12 years now. That's not my fault-it's G.O.G.(grace of God). And it's very much One Day At A Time now;forever was always too long. Even tomorrow is too long for us. Maybe I have learned how to stay sober and I'd much rather do that than keep trying to get sober over and over again. I'd be glad to do anything I can to help. You won't understand this but it will help me as much or more than it will help you. Welcome to the journey!


Member: Marsha W
Location: Northern Chile
Date: 12/4/00
Time: 8:38:33 PM

Comments

Hi, all! Marsha here, alcoholic. I have 2-1/2 months after a bad slip (short but severe) and it's so good to hear from both the newcomers and the old timers. Wisdom often comes out of the keyboards of "babes" to the program!! Lulu, I think Ariel suggested the topic of what can be done in early sobriety to cut the cravings, like exercise, chocolate, vitamins etc. Since I'm stuck with no meetings, don't like exercise, too fat to eat any more chocolate and don't physically need vitamins, it has to be Antabuse for me right now, as well as this forum for which I am truly grateful. Only get bad cravings when I'm around people drinking, so try to stay away from those situations. To Anonymous - canst thou please writeth in normal English? I really appreciate what you have to say as I am on a "Quest for God" in my life right now and it's important to me that your postings are always of a religious nature. But the language makes them hard to sift through. Hi, SeMiGod! Hope you get the chatline started. Keep us posted please. I was resenting your nickname until I figured out it was See Me God and not Semi-God. At least I think I figured it out?? A happy and sober 24 to everyone!!


Member: Kevin
Location: Honolulu, Hi
Date: 12/4/00
Time: 8:39:42 PM

Comments

My name is KP and I am an Alcoholic. I have 30 days today. Blessings from above is how I see it. This is not my 1st time in recovery. I recently had 3 and 1/2 year. Time means nothing to me right now for I am thinking about 1 day at a time. It seem like an up hill battle But I have the will to follow through and persevere.

Growth comes from Health. and Health comes from Balance.

Keep it real Aloha from Waikiki Beach


Member: Perry H
Location: Stroudsburg, Penna
Date: 12/4/00
Time: 9:39:34 PM

Comments

In the beginning I found that prayer always seemed to help. Even though I was driving a beer truck for a living, when I got really tight, I would crawl up in the cab and say a prayer to help the cravings go away . And guess what? It worked! It still works today. AA had taught me one important thing, “The more I think I understand how things work, the more confused I really am!” Therefore, “keep it simple” continues to be my best advice for staying sober for now. “Fake it , til you make it,” is another favorite….


Member: You Know Who I Am
Location:
Date: 12/4/00
Time: 10:11:29 PM

Comments

LU-Lu PLEASE don't abuse this site again this week. There are too many of us that need this as a way to help us with our sobriety. When you poke fun and have your friends do it also (or is it all you?) then you belittle all we stand for. Take it to the chat room.


Member: OBSERVER
Location: EARTH
Date: 12/4/00
Time: 10:53:05 PM

Comments

EXACTLY YOU KNOW WHO I AM...LULU'S RAVINGS ALTHOUGH INTERESTING CONTRIBUTE NOTHING TO THE "DISUSSION" EXCEPT STIR CONTROVERSY AND DRAW ATTENTION WHICH IS PROBABLY HER AGENDA ANYWAY.


Member: L&L
Location:
Date: 12/4/00
Time: 11:04:56 PM

Comments

no who are you?.....an earth lurker?you are a freak of nature,now me and my beautifull big book,thats a different horse with different views on that watering hole,and what it is for. does your face hurt?well it sure is hurting me. te-he-he-he-te-he lol


Member: HTU
Location:
Date: 12/4/00
Time: 11:05:59 PM

Comments

IM A FREAK BOY

IM Htu


Member: Mikey B
Location: Norristown
Date: 12/4/00
Time: 11:26:00 PM

Comments

I'm new at this and definitely in need... I drink way too much ...but do not ascribe to any 12 step bull...i do things MY WAY ! If I can quit smoking....you know i can lick this shit... NO PROB... yes I have a problem and i KNOW it... its just that I like to solve shit on my own...I would love and cherish anyone who sends me an email (even if if I don't agree w/ ur opinion)...but i still reserve the right to say f you.... but u know i luv u man... THANKS IN ADVANCE...MIKE !


Member: Kerri  D.
Location:
Date: 12/4/00
Time: 11:40:19 PM

Comments

i'm Kaye, an alcoholic. i just started going to AA meetings for the 1st time last week. i had gone nearly 60 days without a drink. i thought i could stop drinking on my own willpower, but started drinking agin last saturday. i'd gotten drunk thinking it would make me feel better and not think about my problems, but it made it worse so i called info and got a number for a meeting in my area. i think AA MIGHT just be be the answer to my gaining the ability to stay sober. i've been sober now for 4 days, but have been very tempted to drink and am fighing the urge to want to go the liquer store, yet i Really want to stop drinking because it has ruined my life. i will be 37 soon and have gotton tried of how i feel when i drink. its no fun anymore and i have wasted a lot of my life blasted doing dumb shit and have hurt alot of people i care about. i was surprised @ how welcome the people @ the AA meetings make me feel. For the 1st time in my life i finally feel like i've found a group of people who understand me.But right now i'm very scared because sometimes i want a drink SO BAD! has any of you ever felt that way and does AA really work to help people stop drinking. they told me to live 1 day @ a time and that's what im trying to do but it sure is hard. some days i still feel like i won't be able to make it thru the days without drinking but so far since ive started going to these meetings ive gone 4 days without one. any comments would be apreciated. thank you.


Member: Kerri  Kaye D.
Location:
Date: 12/4/00
Time: 11:41:28 PM

Comments

i'm Kaye, an alcoholic. i just started going to AA meetings for the 1st time last week. i had gone nearly 60 days without a drink. i thought i could stop drinking on my own willpower, but started drinking agin last saturday. i'd gotten drunk thinking it would make me feel better and not think about my problems, but it made it worse so i called info and got a number for a meeting in my area. i think AA MIGHT just be be the answer to my gaining the ability to stay sober. i've been sober now for 4 days, but have been very tempted to drink and am fighing the urge to want to go the liquer store, yet i Really want to stop drinking because it has ruined my life. i will be 37 soon and have gotton tried of how i feel when i drink. its no fun anymore and i have wasted a lot of my life blasted doing dumb shit and have hurt alot of people i care about. i was surprised @ how welcome the people @ the AA meetings make me feel. For the 1st time in my life i finally feel like i've found a group of people who understand me.But right now i'm very scared because sometimes i want a drink SO BAD! has any of you ever felt that way and does AA really work to help people stop drinking. they told me to live 1 day @ a time and that's what im trying to do but it sure is hard. some days i still feel like i won't be able to make it thru the days without drinking but so far since ive started going to these meetings ive gone 4 days without one. any comments would be apreciated. thank you.


Member: MARIANNE S.
Location:
Date: 12/5/00
Time: 12:36:59 AM

Comments

im marianne, an alcoholic. i am really stressed out this week because it is the last week of classes before final exams. i have been having a real hard time concentrating this quarter because i just got sober two months ago. i know nothing for finals and i am really stressed. i ask god for help everyday and tell him i have faith in his will for me but i am so afraid to let go and let god do his work. i hate that i am so spacy lately. i have been very jittery the past two days and i have been seeing things. i think i am am just extremely paranoid. im not sure. anyway i just wanted to write because i havent gone to a meeting since saturday and wont be able to get to one until wednesday because of my crazy schedule. i have faith that everything will work out and i will get through the day but i am scared to have faith. i hope this makes sense to someone. ~marianne


Member: Kerri Kaye ( i go by Kaye) D.
Location: USA
Date: 12/5/00
Time: 12:45:52 AM

Comments

Kerri Kaye, an alcoholic. someone please tell me why its so important to follow the 12 steps and how if you do it will help me to stop drinking forever. i don't think i'll ever not have the urge to drink, even though i really want to quit and am desperate to overcome my problem.


Member: SeMiGoD
Location: ND
Date: 12/5/00
Time: 3:47:43 AM

Comments

Bill S...when i finally took the step to become sober...i lost all sense of myself...felt totally socially inept i TOTALLY know what you mean. I still feel it alot now tho its gotten better. When i was sober...it was like i was drunk because drinking was so "normal" for me and i did everything hammered. Tho today i still have those feelings...they have slimmed down alot now as i enter the real world. I even have friends now which i felt like i would never have again cuz i felt like such a social lepper. Im glad thats going away. Martha it is SeMiGoD but it has nothing to do with religon or anything like that...i used to be a truck driver.Ive used this nick ever since i got on the internet and use this nick for everything i do online.

As far as live chat...if you people dont mind going to www.mirc.com and accepting a download there (its a chat program) i can give you the details of how to get there and i can open a room for all of us to hang in and chat live. Thats all for now and ill see you later :)


Member: Bill J
Location: Tx
Date: 12/5/00
Time: 3:48:48 AM

Comments

Some of us find God's will through the back door. You know what God's will is not for you. If you do not do what it is not you may just be doing his will.AKA The next right thing. Thanks BJ


Member: Michael
Location: VA, USA
Date: 12/5/00
Time: 3:59:51 AM

Comments

It's obvious by the behavior of LuLu and several others that there is still alot of sickness out there. Trouble here is that some one can't tell them to sit down, shut up and listen as would be the case in a live meeting. Such nonsense would not be tolerated in a live meeting room full of sincere people trying to stay sober!!! God bless you LuLu, keep coming back, you may hear something that sticks one day. I still remember being that self-centered, thanks for scouting for us all, glad it's your tail that's shot full of those arrows!


Member: Graeme B
Location: Jersey CI
Date: 12/5/00
Time: 4:08:02 AM

Comments

Hi Kaye, Everything in the fellowship are but suggestions to finding our own way to maintaining our sobriety and imporoving our quality of life. The steps show us a way of doing this. Try them slowly, absorb the meanings behind the wording. It works for this alcoholic. I go to two step meetings a week and have done so for the last 9 years. I think in every meeting I hear something I need to listen to. With the help of my HP the steps keep me honest and calm, something this alkie did not know the meanings of when first through the doors of AA. Give them a try, you've nothing to lose and everything to gain. You can take AA to mean "Altered Attitudes" too, altered by the practice of the steps. Good luck in your journey, all the help is there for you if you ask for it. Graeme


Member: kareng
Location: WI
Date: 12/5/00
Time: 9:09:23 AM

Comments

Kaye...the way the 12 steps work for me is that it is a way of life,not just for the alcohol.It has improved relationships with my friends,family,and by learning about myself,and by helping fellow alcholics.Why don't ya check out a meeting,and get a big book..also,there is pamphlets&brochures that answer many of the questions that newcomers have..you can also check out the aa seb-site www.aa.org/ .I think it will answer many of your questions.To everyone else...each and every sober day is like a gift from God to me,just hang in there..one day at a time,keep up the good work!!take care everyone!!peace,kareng:)


Member: Dr. D
Location: Manchester, NH
Date: 12/5/00
Time: 10:03:31 AM

Comments

Lu-Lu asking for a topic is like an chimpanzee reaching for a book. She's going to do anything BUT read it. Here are 2 words that don't really go together-(Seriously, Lu-Lu) you've got enough people here paying attention to you now go back to the monkey house. We're all just fuddy-duddies here anyway. Even IF you have a point no one is going to bother to try to figure it out. Are you related to Al Gore perhaps-someone else who doesn't know when to leave!

By the way Lu-Lu--since you asked, the topic for this week is; How can we get Lu-Lu to go away?


Member: Ron
Location: Peru
Date: 12/5/00
Time: 11:13:56 AM

Comments

Dear MARSHA W. in Northern Chile..

I live in Moquegua Peru, about three hours north of ARICA. I am a canadian that has been living here for several years and God has blessed me with continues sobriety since Jan. 16,1988. If you would like to meet up we could meet possibly in Tacna or Arica. I had a difficult time in meetings here do to the language. Remember that you are never alone unless you choose to be.

In regards to the others sharing it never ceases to amaze me how an alcoholics will loose there primary purpose or forget a newcomer due to there EGO or distorted perceptions. It is even more baffeling when I have done it, and lord knows that I have I have fallen into that pit fall many times.

I wish you all a wonderful 24 hours!

Love and Service

ronaldparent@hotmail.com


Member: Julie F.
Location: nj
Date: 12/5/00
Time: 11:23:59 AM

Comments

Ok, I am not sure if I should be writing this here or not but I need to talk. I have been abusing alcohol since I was 14. That was the first year I began to blackout. I am now 25 and about to get married. I am a functioning alcoholic who has a nice job, a college education and a fiancé who can drink as much as I can. I used to be a happy drunk. I even thought I was very witty while I was under the influence.

Slowly, my “happy drunk” has turned into a very sad and angry drunk. Recently I have begun to get drunk with friends and then go home and cry about my father- who was an abusive alcoholic but thankfully absent for most of my life. I come from a long line of alcoholics some functioning and some not. I am under a lot of pressure with the wedding -and the whole “who is going to walk you down the aisle” business has surfaced some buried emotions.

Last Friday night my fiancé and I went out after work with some of my co-workers. We both got very drunk. By the end of the evening I was accusing him of flirting with one of my coworkers. Accusing is not the right word. I was yelling and screaming at him. I punched him in the face twice. I was completely out of control. Thank god no one saw us.

I proceeded to drive like a maniac trying to kick him out of the car, all the while yelling and throwing insults. The next day we both acted like nothing had happened. Although the clothes thrown around the living room and broken lamp told a different story. We cleaned up the mess and ignored the issue. He apologized profusely. Although, I am not sure that he did anything wrong. I am covered with bruises from literally falling down as I threw his belonging at him and told him to get out. I also tried to get back in the car which he prevented me from doing by hiding my keys.

I am in trouble and I know it will only get worse. I am not sure that I can get sober right now. The holidays, New Years, both our birthdays, the wedding etc. What will I do if I don’t drink? I used to be the life of the party. What if I go to my fiancé with the news that I want to stop and he doesn’t? Outside of our drinking we have a great relationship and I love him very much. I can’t believe I hit him. How could I do that? I didn’t even apologize.

My holiday work party is tonight and I have decided not to go. I have not yet been to an AA meeting but I know when and where they are. This was my first step. Sorry I took up so much space.


Member: Bob S.
Location: Salt Lake
Date: 12/5/00
Time: 11:43:23 AM

Comments

To Julie F. in NJ: You sound like me and so many other alcoholics I know so join the club until you find out you're NOT an alcoholic. You can find the phone number for Alcoholics Anonymous in the phone book and if you'll call, they can give you the name of a woman from their 12th step call list so you'll have someone to talk to and go to meetings with. If you'll pardon the analysis: you're acting out the rage you have at your alcoholic Dad, or at least the way things were growing up, at your fiance...it's often what we do. You may not have learned a way to express those kinds of feelings SOBER, and have to get intoxicated to do it. That can change by getting and staying sober. Don't worry so much about the 'holidays' and not drinking. Just follow through and they will take care of themselves. It will be a difficult time because you're used to numbing-out at this time of year. Get with some recovering people asap and they will guide you through. Don't hesitate, go Nike, just do it! You need to know you are not alone, that most of us have experienced exactly what you have, and worse, and there is a way out/through this. G~d be with you, and this fellowship. Good work on asking for help in such a candid way. I think you are being devinely guided already. Bob


Member: Kim D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: 12/5/00
Time: 1:04:12 PM

Comments

In regards to the topic this week... I have heard, and believe, that the disease of alcoholism is three-fold: spritual, mental and physical. Therefore, when I get a craving to drink (which hasn't been of late, thank God), I address all three: Physical - Am I hungry or not feeling well? Do I need more sleep? Mental - I get to a meeting and listen. More often than not, I hear what I need to and the urge is removed. If not, I share immediately with my sponsor or another recovering alkie I trust. Spiritual - I pray for the craving to be removed or for the strength to get through the next 5 minutes, 1 hour, etc., without the need to drink or substitute. That's how I handle cravings.

GREG S. from Ft. Wayne - Welcome. Some of us get here due to "huge events," or the Courts. Many others get here from the inside stuff like feelings. Either way, once we enter AA we are told to take it One Day At A Time. Getting to a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous in person would most likely benefit you greatly. I hope you do.

MARSHA W. - Welcome back.

JULIE F. - Welcome. Thank you for your sharing honestly your recent experience with drinking. Ironically enough, I had what we call a "drunk dream" last night in which i enacted all those behaviors you just described. Luckily, I woke up sober and realized it was only a dream (or nightmare). What you have described is the change in personality which is a symptom of alcoholism. If you are filled with guilt, shame and remorse like I was every time I drank and acted in that manner (which was often)... use it as a catalyst to explore AA and a sober life. You may be one of the "lucky ones" who gets into AA far before the more major losses happen like loss of job, home, family, freedom (in jail, etc.). I, too, have a college degree, nice job, beautiful 8 year old son, and a nice apartment. However, at the age of 31, I almost lost all that due to my alcoholism. You don't have to experience those things before address your drinking/alcoholism. Call AA's Central Service and ask where a meeting is in your area. You will find a better way to live and get suggestions on how to go through the holidays without drinking ONE DAY AT A TIME. About your fiance, if he truly loves you he will want you to get better. However, he will have to look at his own drinking patterns in his own time. Don't worry about that now... just do what you need to do for you. I hope you get to a meeting soon... you just might find that you "are home." God Bless and Good Luck.


Member: To Julie
Location: With love
Date: 12/5/00
Time: 1:06:20 PM

Comments

Julie, if this is the time for you to get sober, well, then, you'll get sober...damn the torpedoes. (And you have a few torpedoes...well, I guess we all did.) Please, please, please remember that AA is here, and will be here whenever you have had enough. I was sitting here, nodding my head, and thinking 'uh huh, I remember' while reading your message. For me, it took what it took, but when I had had enough, recovery in AA was there to help. And help, and help, and help. I'll be thinking of you, and yes, praying for you. With lots of love.


Member: Corinne B.
Location: Camino, CA
Date: 12/5/00
Time: 2:16:27 PM

Comments

To Julie, and all others struggling with coming to terms with whether they are alcoholic, and scared about trying to get sober right before the Holidays:

In our literature is a passage that says that we can get sober regardless of anyone. I add to that that we can get sober regardless of the time of year; regardless of anything that our disease tells us stands in the way of us getting well. All that is required is ego deflation at depth and surrendering. Admitting to our innermost selves that we are powerless over alcohol is key. It sounds like you are pretty much there.

From what I read, you risk adding a whole lot of baggage to your upcoming amends (that will need to be made) if you Don't get sober before the holidays. Grab the phone and call AA. Ask a live body for help and remember, someone else was there to help them when they reached the point you are at, so that is why they are there to do the same for you. We need each other to be able to get and stay sober. Those that try and do it alone (and I was one of those) usually end up getting nothing more than dried out, and they stay very unhappy, not sober.

Don't worry about what you will do without alcohol. Believe me, you'll be able to accomplish a whole lot more good things without it. This is a program of action. How long do you want to suffer for? That choice is yours. You have lost the choice about what alcohol does to you. At this point, you have to drink, because you don't know any other way out. Once you surrender, you'll realize that your only real choice is to surrender. If you don't, you lose the power of choice because alcohol controls your every move.

I had a hard time realizing just how paralized I was by alcohol. I thought of myself as very independent, until my denial system broke down and I knew deep in my soul that I was a slave to alcohol. I couldn't live without it. Now that I have surrendered my will and life over to the care of AA and God, I have a life far beyond my wildest dreams.

My husband still drinks and I am okay with that for the most part, because he is not alcoholic. So, I know first hand, we can get sober regardless of who we love, and the relationship can work out. The main thing you need be concerned with right now is your welfare. Postpone the wedding if need be. Take it Easy and give up fighting.


Member: Mike
Location: New Jersey
Date: 12/5/00
Time: 2:20:33 PM

Comments

Shaun, There really is no single solitary way in which we handle our problems with drinking. Each person has their own way of getting by each and every day.


Member: PeggyJ
Location: IL
Date: 12/5/00
Time: 3:02:29 PM

Comments

Julie, don't delay! i made excuses the first time I knew I was in trouble! I told myself over and over again that I could just have 1 drink it'll be ok! It wasn't 1 drink turned into 1 bottle quickly! Please talk to someone who can help! As for your fiance if he doesn't want you to get help then it's better to find out now rather then later! I recently went through that with someone I have been friends with for 22 years! It was heart breaking to find out that she didn't think I needed to get help! It's friends like that you don't need around you! Get Counseling for your past it realy does help and you very GREAT afterwards! Always remember there are people all round you that would help! God is in all of us and with us!


Member: Santa C
Location: Big Seven
Date: 12/5/00
Time: 4:16:23 PM

Comments

In the Communist Manifesto, Karl Marx notes:

"For the rest, so little do they conceal the reactionary character of their criticism that their chief accusation against the bourgeois amounts to this: that under the bourgeois regime a class is being developed which is destined to cut up, root and branch, the old order of society.

What they upbraid the bourgeoisie with is not so much that it creates a proletariat as that it creates a revolutionary proletariat.

In political practice, therefore, they join in all corrective measures against the working class; and in ordinary life, despite their high-falutin phrases, they stoop to pick up the golden apples dropped from the tree of industry, and to barter truth, love, and honour, for traffic in wool, beetroot-sugar, and potato spirits.(2)

As the parson has ever gone hand in hand with the landlord, so has clerical socialism with feudal socialism.

Nothing is easier than to give Christian asceticism a socialist tinge. Has not Christianity declaimed against private property, against marriage, against the state? Has it not preached in the place of these, charity and poverty, celibacy and mortification of the flesh, monastic life and Mother Church? Christian socialism is but the holy water with which the priest consecrates the heart-burnings of the aristocrat."

Now apply these simple words to the boundless exploitation of the masses by the hands of the bourgeoisie, that is, the merchants, who thoroughly plunder the peoples at this time called "Christmas," which is fully supported by just about every organized religion in the Magnificent Seven Industrialized nations in the world, chaining these countless masses to superstitious and hypocritical dogmas that are as old as the devil himself, who they are all fully in league with, like indentured slaves of feudal times, but of course they do not want to recognize this!

A SERIOUS MINDED REFLECTION ON THESE THINGS CALLS THESE WORDS THE TRUTH!!


Member: rudolph
Location:
Date: 12/5/00
Time: 4:24:42 PM

Comments

Shut up Santa C.


Member: pjjjjg
Location: cal
Date: 12/5/00
Time: 5:29:17 PM

Comments

hi my name is pjjjg , iam one of those people that know albout being a drunk and how you get up in the moring and dont know what happen to you . well iam 2 years in to it so i know my higher power is their for me and that i wont die unhappy, I never say never not ever again , I take it one day at a time, one min. by min. and i look for peole that have the time to say lets go to meeting I am so happy to be a live today. And I love life , well that all i have to say to you people


Member: sam b
Location: nj
Date: 12/5/00
Time: 6:01:59 PM

Comments

hi my name is sam b and i am an alcoholic. in my thirty years of drinking the longest i've been sober was one year. lately i think my age is cathing up because i cant take the hangovers. i can stay sober for days at a time but eventually i start feeling good and think i can handle a little drink. pray for me. i need it.


Member: ken k
Location: n london
Date: 12/5/00
Time: 6:15:42 PM

Comments

hi my names ken and iam an alcoholic, this is the first time i have shared on the internet.thanks everyone. for everyone in their early days and struggling hang in there it really dose get better a day at a time. that is how it has worked for me sinse my first meeting over ten years ago. i went to meetings every night for six months at the start. i am gratefull to the person who phoned me first time i missed a meeting to see if i was ok, i was. still waiting for call from old drinking companions. get lots of phone numbers and use them it really helps. and candy, never arrested for being fat in charge off motor car. goodbye for now, happy joyous and free.


Member: Kaye D.
Location: USA
Date: 12/5/00
Time: 8:39:46 PM

Comments

Kaye,here. i'm an alcoholic. i went to a meeting today and it helpedme because insted of going to the meeting on the way there, i almost stopped at the beer store. i wanted to buy some beer very badly, but was scared to. today makes 5 days sober for me. i got a big book and have started reading in it and have read 4 chapters today since i came home from the meeting. but now i REALLY FEEL LIKE GOING TO THE BEER STORE! and not justfor beer either. i wish i had some tequila. i was feeling like i could make it and stay sober but im scared now and dont know if i can.Reading that big book just made me feel like drinking more than before i got it. ive been praying the serenity prayer ever since i put that book down about 3pm but have been pacing the floor trying not to think about drinking.but im DETERMINED to stay sober so tomorrow ill go to another meeting. i cant say ill keep reading the big book tho cause if it makes me want to drink more than i did before i even started reading it then whats the point of reading it. i might as well go buy some beer or tequila. the people at the meeting helped more than my big book, please pray for me. im very confused today.


Member: ERIK. J.
Location: UTAH
Date: 12/5/00
Time: 8:41:05 PM

Comments

hello family, on december 29 I will have 4 yrs and there are times when I still feel new.Idont do as many meetings anymore but I do volenteer at a rehab on thursdays,as a step leader.Ibekieve the steps are the thing that truely changed my life,they got me to take a real veiw of myself and my actions,with the help of my sponser,AA and the steps I have been able to start my journey into growth as a person and crush the ego alittle.The sugestions I have for the newcomers are not from my own thinking they were given to me by the ones before me ,and Ishare them every thursday-READ THE BIG BOOK,ALONE AND WITH YOUR SPONSER.--GET A SPONSER!!!--GO TO AS MANY MEETINGS AS YOU CAN-(AND LISTEN)--DROP YOUR PRIDE AND EGO AND ASK FOR HELP REACH OUT YOUR HAND AND ASK!!DO SOME SOUL SEARCHING AND ASK YOURSELF WAS IT REALLY THAT MUCH FUN OUT THERE-(COSIDERING THE PAIN CAUSED TO YOURSELF AND OTHERS) AND MOST IMPORTANT WORK THE STEPS WITH YOUR SPONSER,LEARN TO APPLY THE PRINCIBLES OF THESE STEPS IN YOUR DAILY LIFE. ITS JUST MY OPINION IF YOU DONT CHANGE ANYTHING BUT THE DRINKING YOU REALLY DONT CHANGE ANYTHING AT ALL...my life is completely different than it was 4 yrs ago,its not always smooth running but the difference is that i have friends to truly talk to and I try to listen to thier sugestions.

my sponser says that our ideas of god will change and grow with time and i believe this .I dont spend alot of time trying to exsplain god,i just know that whatever he she they them or it is,it has been able to do for me what i could not.(SOMETHING HAS HELPED ME STAY SOBER....)

THANK YOU FOR SHOWING ME HOW TO LIVE .


Member: santa c.
Location: big seven
Date: 12/5/00
Time: 9:05:01 PM

Comments

rudolph get your red nose out of my butt its turning brown.

santa c.


Member: Rudolph
Location:
Date: 12/5/00
Time: 9:13:00 PM

Comments

Santa C: you are fat and you have bad body odour. Why are the elves afraid of you?


Member: OwenK
Location: Canada
Date: 12/5/00
Time: 9:34:25 PM

Comments

This is my first time with any sort of A.A. group. 4 days ago my wife and I had a discussion about our marriage. Not for the first time, but perhaps the first time I was sober enough for it to register, she told me that our marriage is probably over. That she could not stand by any longer and watch me damage us and my two children. We talked until well into the morning. For the next two days, I grieved over the loss, but not drinking. I got into the car and started to drive. I thought, and I cried, often hard enough that I could not see the road. The second day I bought a book "How to Effectively Stop Drinking." and it touched a nerve as it perfectly described how insidiously drinking was destroying my family and I was not even aware of it. I woke up the next day and it felt like a huge weight was lifted off my back, and for the first time in decades, I felt no anger for myself and just the slightest bit at peace. I left a note for my wife to call me at work the next morning, this was our first communication in 2 days. That night we had another discussion, honest, open and cried together. I still have to move out, and am not sure if this is a separation or divorce, but still no anger, just sadness which is ok. I may have lost my wife, but maybe I can help heal my kids. I have gone 2 days without a drink, and I know that this is my last chance. I can never drink again. I will be joining the local AA this week, but needed to "talk" right now, and I thank you all for this. It has helped. Sorry for the length...


Member: Rochelle M
Location:
Date: 12/5/00
Time: 10:10:19 PM

Comments

I am Rochelle and alcholic addict. Julie I can really understand your pain. I came to the program over 6 years ago. I have relapsed and know have 5 1/2 months. My husband (fiancee at the time) told me his sister made him relize I had a drinking problem. I was very angry. I to had a parent that was a drunk. I was a happy drunk at first also but as you said I turned angry and sad. My husband had many fights just like yours. Your not alone but you should be very proud of yourself for reconizing your problem. Comeing to AA has made my life so wonderful. I can't even explain how grateful I am. You are doing the right thing. Please e-mail me if you need to talk. I to could use a friend. rmiller4@pacbell.com


Member: Wendi S.
Location: Louisville, KY
Date: 12/5/00
Time: 10:32:01 PM

Comments

Hi, Wendi here, grateful recovering alcoholic. This topic I believe was about how to stay sober no matter what. That is not always easy, but for me it beat the hell out of the alternative. I have shared in many different meetings before and I can only what worked for me. I live in KY now, but got sober in NJ. Plenty of drunks, but PLENTY of meetings. I was told early on that if you want what we have to offer you must be willing to go to any lengths to get it. Is the answer in a specific step? - Not for me. Is it on a specific page in the literature? Not for me. For everyone who has spoken about NOT taking the suggestions - its your choice. But remember that the door swings both ways, don't let it hit you on the ass as you go back out. I have gotten through 15 years of holidays, celebrations, joys, sorrows, depressions, life in general. But I've gotten through it sober with the help of AA and my friends in the fellowship. They also told me early on that try us for 90 days - go to 90 meetings in 90 days - take the suggestions and if you don't feel any better, then we'll refund your misery at no extra cost. Agree with me or don't, it makes no never mind. I'm sober today by the Grace of my Higher Power. tiggerwls1968@aol.com


Member: Ted F                                   
Location: Missouri, USA
Date: 12/5/00
Time: 10:45:24 PM

Comments

To Owen, it is good that you are seeking something even though you are not sure what it is. Like Ken, this is my first time on the AA internet and if I can share any of my experiance strength an hope with Julie and Owen it will be another fantastic opportunity to be a part of someone finding ot that there is another way to live and that we just may have found what we were looking for in drinking. My problem has always been and still is today that of living. AA has taught me how to live and I am so gratefull to have a place to go for people like me. The mirical of AA is in the coming back - keep coming back Julie and Owen.


Member: Marty G.
Location: Manitowoc, WI.
Date: 12/6/00
Time: 12:01:24 AM

Comments

Hi all, Marty here, alcoholic.Shaun, like someone said, we all have our own programs, however it takes footwork also. Dont drink, go to meetings, and read the big book.Working the twelve steps also helped me a lot. I chose several sponsors in the first year of my sobriety, which also helped.I also kept my ears open at meetings and took what would help me, and left the rest.Like said before; keep reading the posts and you will find what you need. LOL. family.


Member: Jack B
Location: Palo Alto,Pa
Date: 12/6/00
Time: 4:47:27 AM

Comments

Hi I am Jack, a real alcoholic.The most important thing in my life today is not to pick up that first drink.If I pick up that first drink I am going back to a personal hell that I don't ever want to experience again.Whatever is number two or number three list for today becomes absolutley meaningless to me if I pick up that first drink. I have no idea how to stay sober on my own, The Grace of God, the fellowship of Alcohoics Anonymous keeps me sober for twenty four hours. The easiest way for me to stay sober for 24 hours is don't pick up the first drink, no matter what.Trust God, Clean house and help another alcoholic. I have been living these 12 twelve steps, needless to say IMPERFECTLY for thirteen continous years of sobriety and I know of no other way than the AA way of life. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless.


Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 12/6/00
Time: 10:22:03 AM

Comments

i believe that every day i don't pick up a drink ...that that may be Gods will for me,alcohol for me is a giant stumbling block,i go to meetings and listen to how it screws up other people too,this i'm not ashamed of.when you go to a meeting and listen the healing is beginning,to seperate ones self from a mind altering chemical and rely on your own true mind, wow,what a concept.today i have faith and love for others i learned this in aa.if your wondering about alcoholism wonder about it in a meeting,it's a safe place to grow sober and learn from others,it can be a very up lifting experiance.nothing is worth drinking over,good or bad! ....i'm tony an alcoholic


Member: peter d.
Location: australia
Date: 12/6/00
Time: 11:45:35 AM

Comments

hi owen im peter and can identify strongly with you.please go to meetings and get a sponsor who will assist you at this critical time. im in australia but would be willing to converse via e-mail on a daily basis with you if you think it would help. finally go to the meetings for you and not for any other living soul or thing...be selfish and do this for you...make it [your soberity] the most important thing in the world...for you. e-mail me ...safe-job@iinet.net.au...peter


Member: Terry D
Location: Izmir, Turkey
Date: 12/6/00
Time: 12:37:37 PM

Comments

I'm Terry and recently and finally admitted to myself that I am addicted to alcohol...no...make that 'and I'm an alcoholic' It's only approaching 2 weeks now since I've made what I know is an irrevocable decision to refrain from drinking alcohol. My own revelation came when I awoke, choking on my own vomit after having passed out...it was Thanksgiving. I'm sure I have to give thanks to a higher power for allowing me to continue living, I could have just as easily not awakened...ever. At any rate, I stopped drinking...'no sweat', I thought. The next few days were a descent into the deepest pit of hell. I couldn't sleep or eat, I was constantly shaking, so much so that it took me a good 5 minutes to finally get the key into the keyhole so that I could get into my apartment. Then the real fun began. I started hallucinating and the visions were so real and disturbing that I was afraid to close my eyes and just as afraid to open them for fear of what might come next. I'm a teacher, and that makes me at least a bit of a control freak. To lose control in such a way is anathema to me. Things have finally gotten better...I can function at a higher level than I have in far too long and I feel physically and mentally in control again; but the horror of that nightmare week will live in my consciousness for the rest of my life (and I'm taking steps to keep it that way...I have recorded in detail in my journal, every feeling, insecurity, hallucination, that I experienced during that epochal period and will read it every week to remind myself that I can and will never go through that again. I am an American, living in Turkey, and am not fluent enough in Turkish to make the local meetings beneficial for me. I haven't been able to find any meetings for English speakers as yet, but I am beating the bushes looking for one. In the meantime, you folks are a lifeline that this surfacing man needs to keep him afloat. Thanks.


Member: M21
Location:
Date: 12/6/00
Time: 2:48:11 PM

Comments

Where does it say that we can kick people out of AA? If this is a meeting, then why are you people (yes, we know who you are) kicking around this Lu-Lu person. Does that mean that if I were to piss a few of you off, then you would kick me out as well? What happened to love and tolerance? I don't know how we can get Lu-Lu to go away (the topic this week), but why would we want to?


Member: Von
Location: Akron
Date: 12/6/00
Time: 2:49:16 PM

Comments

Thanks for the topic Paul M. Two days was a big deal to me because by the time I came into the program of AA, I was a daily drinker. It wasn't always that way, but after 23 years, I had to get "beat up from the feet up" at 33 years old. There is a big difference between NOT DRINKING and BEING SOBER. Big, big, big difference. The difference is Alcoholics Anonymous.

In the beginning you will find many things that will assist you to not pick up - in my case it was aftercare and court-appointed meeting attendance. Other people such as Ariel take vitamins and read about the condition. Still others, like Greg S, make a decision based on risk of losing loved ones. Whatever the reason, it doesn't matter. What matters is something gets you to decide to quit drinking and something makes you decide to make the choice to live sober.

Last week I turned 35 years old - with no mood or mind-altering substances in my body, the gift of two sober birthdays in a row since I was 10 years old. That's truth to me, because I never ever thought I would ever stop. Some basic fundamentals that I live by today include 1) I am an alcoholic and when I try to control drinking or let my stinking thinking get out of hand, I'm in trouble whether I drink or not. A lot of people don't understand that Alcoholism, as a disease, is two-fold: a physical allergy that manifests itself in physical cravings, and a mental obsession which manifests itself in unmanageable lifestyles and insane choices. In order for me to live sober, I have to take care of both the physical (by not picking up the first drink) and mental (by following a program outlined as the principles of the 12 steps of AA). 2) If you are a real, genuine alcoholic then it's not how much we drink or how often, but what happens when we drink. The best record I have of this experience that tells me this is true is outlined in the Big Book including the stories, the leads that I've heard at meetings, and the research done by those who went back out.

If you're new, don't expect instant results (also referred to as the "easier, softer way"); this is guaranteed to get you drunk again eventually. Instead recognize that you drank for so long and it will take just as long to learn to think and live a different way. Listen to people who are not only not drinking, but follow a life of principles and absolutes - stick with the winners, learn from everyone. All of us alcoholics share a common destiny, we will spend the rest of our lives with drunks - drunk ones or sober ones. Accept that. Last, but not least, "our drinking is a sympton of a much deeper problem" - also referred to as a spiritual malady. Just read your big book, don't drink, and go to meetings. If you are honest, willing, and open minded, you will begin to know and experience a new freedom and happiness.

God bless you and keep you until then.


Member: lu-lu
Location: head angel
Date: 12/6/00
Time: 2:51:52 PM

Comments

the i love lu-lu club,staring me...lu-lu,the lovely.


Member: Melissa B.
Location: Canada
Date: 12/6/00
Time: 3:04:43 PM

Comments

Welcome, Terry. Please keep coming back. There's a lot of great recovery on this site.


Member: Janet L.
Location: Orlando, FL
Date: 12/6/00
Time: 4:40:59 PM

Comments

I have to get some dental work done soon--an extraction of a molar. I am looking for experience, strength, and hope. Has anyone gone through this without mind-altering medication and pain pills? I would like to protect my sobriety. Thanks.


Member: tt
Location:
Date: 12/6/00
Time: 4:56:09 PM

Comments

janet,its painfull as hell,get gas and lots of pain killers from the doc you will need them, dont worry about a relapse...your mouth will hurt too bad....oh yea and dry socket is a real killer,so try not to SUCK on anything for a while.

toothless tom


Member: Marsha W
Location: Northern Chile
Date: 12/6/00
Time: 5:45:49 PM

Comments

Hi, all. Marsha here, alcoholic. First, (((Ron))) in Peru, I'll be e-mailing you at your hotmail address when I have a minute. (((Terry))) in Turkey, I'm a Canadian teaching in Northern Chile with NO meetings. Sounds like you have access to AA near you; why not go anyway - language notwithstanding. Hopefully the loving vibes will be there and you might meet someone who speaks English. (((Von))) what a wonderful post!! Thanks. (((Kim D))) thanks for the welcome back -- I've been here all the time -- lurking. Had a hard time last night. The school where I teach had an art exibit with a cocktail reception afterwards. I hid in the computer room and read this site and the Pot. Served wine last reception and the smell was killing me. I just couldn't bring myself to "mingle" and watch almost everyone drinking last night Felt so much more comfortable here on-site. Thanks everyone for your ES&H. Happy 24 to all.


Member: sam b
Location: nj
Date: 12/6/00
Time: 5:51:26 PM

Comments

i've been sober 6 days and really don't miss the booze. its kind of nice being clear headed. on dec 15 we'll have are company xmass party with 3 hours of open bar. how do you handle that one? all the guys are talking about how ripped up we're going to get. i guess this will be a test to see how serious i am about sobriety. i've been drinking and stopping for so many years now that i don't trust my resolve. with the help of a higher power if i can make it through the holidays i just might be alright. wheather i can work this thing out or not i'm glad i found aa.


Member: JB
Location:
Date: 12/6/00
Time: 7:09:19 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm new to sobriety, and think that this discussion group will be a big help in keeping me here. I hope that the other new members will do the same.


Member: Sue
Location: Fl.
Date: 12/6/00
Time: 8:26:55 PM

Comments

Hi- I'm Sue and am a recovering alcoholic of 7 months (yeah!!!). My only comment is really waht I've learned from others experience. I have always believed in God-although somewhat shakily at times-however, when the oldtimers told me to get down on my knees every morning and every evening and thank God for my sobriety, I balked. I thought I would pray in my own way, but for me- the literal action of humbling myself (yep, that ole ego thing), was not exactly what I had in mind. But, I decided to be game and give it a real try, and for me, it works far better than I ever expected. I pray wnhenever and however I want, but I ALSO include being on my knees in my real work. It helps me, hope it helps someone else. Bless us all and here's to another day!!


Member: SeMiGoD
Location: ND
Date: 12/7/00
Time: 2:48:51 AM

Comments

OwenK....sounds to me like youve got your thoughts in the right place now...move out...get sober and give your wife some time. Get your head and thoughts together. As alcoholics we must first worry about ourselves and "cleaning up our act" and as you have read here many times....things will work out. Your marrige isnt over its just on a time out. Lets things fall into place in the time they should. We have all hurt relationships during our drinking and never knew...i know when it was time for me to wake up...i wasent near as clear minded as you seem to be...do yourself a favor and maintain that "no anger" attitude and good things are to come "one day at a time" :) For more info on getting a "live" chat room going email me at semigod@qwest.net


Member: miriam w.
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Date: 12/7/00
Time: 9:15:44 AM

Comments

To Owen K. My family was so tired of my relapses and the behavior it entailed that last February they asked me to leave. They helped me find a room, but literally put me out on my own. My husband filed for separation. It was the first time in my life I had to take responsiblity for myself. I immersed myself in a.a. and did what was suggested; Went to meetings, got and USED a sponsor and worked the steps. In May by the grace of God and a.a. my family asked me to come back. I still continue to place my sobriety #1 thus things have never been better. I asked God everyday for his will for me and try to follow it to the best of my ability. You and your wife might want to consider some additional therapy. My husband and I did and it creates a forum for open communication and actual listening. Eventually we brought my children into the therapuetic arena too and it has helped immensely. I also go for individual work and use it as additional support to my a.a. program. Hang in there and remember things don't always get better but YOU will.


Member: Mark D
Location: Concord, NH
Date: 12/7/00
Time: 9:21:05 AM

Comments

To M21; I'm sorry if i come across as intolerant about Lu-Lu. I have encountered her in the Coffee Pot and begged her to keep her insipid twaddle over there as it seems to be the place for blowing off steam and such. I consider the Discussion Group and the Step meeting as REAL AA meetings. I don't think that anyone would spout the type of attention seeking smart ass crap that Lu-lu persistantly engages in in an actual face to face meeting. It would indicate either a serious lack of sobriety or respect. If Lu-Lu can bring herself to share in an honest non-cutsey-cyptic manner it would be fine--otherwise use the Coffee Pot.

I just read postings from people who are confused and troubled like Julie F. These people are looking for support and clarity here. Julie- I wish I could tell you what to do. I'm afraid things will probably get worse before it gets better. I don't think that you can jump from being a drunk "life of the Party" to a sober one in the space of a few months. If you're not a happy drunk anymore then the booze is creeping into more parts of your life than you realize. You've got to do what's best for you. The holidays will be back next year and for many more. More importantly if your husband-to-be is really worth being just that, he'll listen to your concerns and help you adapt to what you need. That's what the whole marriage thing is about anyway. Go to an AA meeting and keep posting here. We'll be looking to help. Good luck.


Member: Randy  M
Location: oregon
Date: 12/7/00
Time: 9:44:11 AM

Comments

Randy , alki here...got 60 days today, I feel Great!!, been along time feeling this good,I even have money in the wallet, always did just this time i have had it stay in there a while,,quit gambling,,know what i mean?, haha, well thanks to my HP this is working great, thak for listening..R


Member: Anil G
Location: Mount Vernon, IL
Date: 12/7/00
Time: 11:06:54 AM

Comments

Forgiveness is a very powerful instrument in the road to recovery. First one must learn to forgive oneself for all the things one has done to cause others to suffer. And then one must turn to other people and seek out their forgiveness. Then and only then can true healing commence.


Member: Michael G.
Location: DFW
Date: 12/7/00
Time: 11:07:36 AM

Comments

Well Im glad for Randy M. One day at a time and with your higher power you can have more more and more time of soberty. Just don't get into a EGO stage that means easy god out.


Member: Michael G
Location: DFW
Date: 12/7/00
Time: 11:11:04 AM

Comments

that is so true april g. And we get that by working the 12 step program and with the help of our higher power.


Member: OBSERVER
Location: EARTH
Date: 12/7/00
Time: 12:30:53 PM

Comments

LU LU

"WE WILL KNOW THEM BY THEIR WORKS"...LETS SEE, CHILDISH, EGOCENTRIC, IMMATURE, DRY DRUNK, SEXUALLY OBSESSED...THATS ONLY SCRATCHING THE SURFACE


Member: Chris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: 12/7/00
Time: 2:36:45 PM

Comments

Hi everyone---Chris here---Alclholic/addoict/bulimic Hi eveyone --it's good to be back_-Great meeting-and good input from (Most) everyone!!To Katy D.---Hang in there--when the urge to drink really gets to you , go to a meting or call your soponsor(or get one) or someone else in the program---It will amaze you how much that helps. WHen they first told me go to 90 meetings in 90 days--I said , "RIGHT!!!"..Well, when I finally did that ( probably 65 in 90) I reallized why they said it. When you first get sober , things are so wierd and tough that you need that encouragement everyday, if not more. There is something spiritual that happens in every meeting (almost) that gives me the power to go on. I THInk that the topic is how do you make it? And with additions to A.A>. ALthough I am big on A.A., I did go to individual therapyand that really helped me. It was therapy for addictied people ( so I couldn't put anything over on these people), But it was a place where I felt safe sharing my true feelings and failures. I had never had a place like that in my life. It was unbelievable how healing that was for me. After that, I felt safer sharing with non-therapy A.A. people. I am 7 yrs . sober , and am going back to therapy( the same woman), because I find that there are things that are coming up that I really need help with. Recovery seems to be like that...my sponsor calls it like the peeling of an onion . IT comes off in layers. NOt that my recovery has gone in a straight line at all. But by the grace of God I have made it this far..And am so thankful for what this program has given me. To those of you that are struggling---please hang in there with A.A.--Hang around until the miracle happens!!! And remember---Christmas is only a 3 week period!!! Love to ALL!!


Member: Laura
Location: Milwaukee
Date: 12/7/00
Time: 3:01:46 PM

Comments

Laura, alcoholic...I am a relapsed member, had 2 1/2 years from 1991 - 1993 and they were the hardest, lonliest, toughest, most GLORIOUS, EMOTIONALLY, PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY AND FINANCIALLY FULFILLING years of my 38 year life...I actually could wake up guilt free, learned to love myself, treat others with kindness...I supported myself, went back to school, had good credit, was phsically fit. I was not filled with SHAME and constantly presenting "false Laura" to the world.

Sadly, I went back and have paid so dearly...I have lived in about 35 places since then, ran up astronomical credit debt, had a child out of wedlock, and worse - ended up marrying the alcoholic father of my son.

I love my child too much to continue in this hell, putting him in hell as well..I'm sure you can imagine the screaming matches, the smashed items, the "where's Daddy?" on Thanksgiving, we are both to blame. I am more to blame because I know exactly what is wrong and precisely what I must do...and it has taken me 3 1/2 years since he was born to take this step. Things got very physical last night, and my son woke up to witness.

I desparately want to be a good mother and example for my son, but even more I want that sense of worth I had when I was sober...I want to be sober!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will call my local chapter for meeting schedules, and would love for someone to come to my home (do they still do that?). I just can't go on like this...I drank last night and would please God like to say I have 24 hours tomorrow.

Thanks for listening...


Member: Anon.
Location: Somewhere
Date: 12/7/00
Time: 3:06:12 PM

Comments

EARTH OBSERVER... With all due respect, let the Lu-Lu thing go. She/he hasn't posted here all week... why keep bringing it up? Character assisination is only our ego's feeding off our perceived faults in others to make ourselves feel better than.

Thank you.


Member: Joy
Location: Bartlett,Il
Date: 12/7/00
Time: 3:06:49 PM

Comments

Hi, Joy here (alcoholic) I would like to say thank you to all the honest newcomers and relapsers for sharing on this site.. You have hepled to keep me sober today . The things I do to stay sober are 1. Follow the suggestions given 2.stay close to my Hp. 3 really appreciate the pain of the new souls trying to stay sober.4stay very active and committed to A.A. service work.5 Never ever forget that by the grace of God there go I. I am so thankful every 24 I am sober. When I crave or think stupid or wonder am I really a alcoholic I get to my knees and pray, then call another drunk and talk it though. I don't know alot but I know I need others , God and A.A. just for today to stay sober . The more I work the program the better my life is.. I have a happy heart now where once only anger lived.With great appreciation, Joy


Member: Kim D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: 12/7/00
Time: 3:14:05 PM

Comments

LAURA - Welcome home (again). As you know from your previous sobriety, you never have to get sober again. If they don't go to your home, which might not be the best place right now with what's happening between you and your husband, take your son and go to a meeting. Call Central Service and find out where there is one closest to you. I hear your pain and I feel it because I, too, relapsed after 21 months of sobriety. I now have 16 months and things are much better, but it takes those agonizing, liberating, hope-filled first few baby steps to begin the process of healing.

Good luck and you'll be in my prayers. I believe that once you walk through the threshold of the doors of an AA meeting, you'll know what it feels to have HOPE again.


Member: So and So
Location: Stenchville
Date: 12/7/00
Time: 4:10:26 PM

Comments

Earth Observer: I agree with your criticism of some of the Abominable Alcoholics you run into on this discussion forum! If someone doesn't point out to these low-life sickos just what they smell like to those who try to grow in this program, they will never get a whiff of their own stench, and either do something about it, or if not just leave it! Either way would be most beneficial to those who have to don the gas masks!!


Member: htU
Location:
Date: 12/7/00
Time: 4:32:57 PM

Comments

so and so,earth observer:

CAN YOU SMELL THAT?I JUST FARTED A BIG JUICY

ONE........I FANNED IT YOUR WAY...TE-HE-HE-HE

htU


Member: JB
Location:
Date: 12/7/00
Time: 4:36:39 PM

Comments

Well, it's day two for me and I feel pretty good about it. I couldn't wait to get home to read the discussion group today. I know that we shouldn't contribute more than once a week, but I noticed that a few other people have, and I need all of the help and support I can get. LAURA, you can do it again, let tomorrow be your first twentyfour.


Member: MEMBER
Location: LU-LU CLUB
Date: 12/7/00
Time: 4:37:30 PM

Comments

I POOPED TODAY AND IT LOOKED LIKE EARTH OBSERVER

BROWN NOSE AND ALL!!!!!!!!!

LU-LU FAN CLUB


Member: Sue
Location: Fl.
Date: 12/7/00
Time: 6:33:30 PM

Comments

Welcome back Laura! I'll pray for you! Love and support!


Member: KEN K
Location: LONDON
Date: 12/7/00
Time: 7:28:30 PM

Comments

hi everyone my name is ken and iam an alcoholic sorry for coming in twice but iam the only british alcoholoic here at the moment and i wanted to wish all the rest of you out there all the very best, especially all the newcomers. i got sober this time of year, my first sober chrismas and new years where fantastic times of healing and love. i went to meetings shared thanked my HP often and recited the serenity prayer many times during the day and still do when i need to, i called my sponsor, who is now my best friend and was able to show my family real love for the first time for many, many years. all this was possable because i found acceptance of my alcoholism and a spirit experience as a result of AA and HP and only trusting one opinion, THE DR'S, IT TOLD ME WANT MY CONDITION IS ALL ABOUT, the rest of the BIG BOOK has led me to happy contented sobriety. if this has been true for me and millions of others it can be true for for anyone RARELY HAVE WE SEEN A PERSON FAIL WHO HAS THOROUGHLY FOLLOWED OUR PATH, BB CH:5. thankyou and blessyou.


Member: identify but don't compare
Location: been there
Date: 12/7/00
Time: 7:37:19 PM

Comments

Lots of judgemental people here. Granted, some of the comments posted here are inappropriate. But mark my words, the finger pointers (observer, etc...) WILL get drunk. It is inevitable because they are too busy observing others and not concentrating on how they might change and grow.


Member: Melissa W
Location: Texas
Date: 12/7/00
Time: 8:25:35 PM

Comments

I'm not sure what the topic is but... when I stay in the solution, things get managable. They may not get better for awhile, I might hurt, I might be scared but as long as I don't drink or drug, I have not placed a wall up between myself & God. And that allows Him to do for me what I cannot do for myself.


Member: benny s
Location: oregon
Date: 12/8/00
Time: 1:44:11 AM

Comments

hi benny here alcoholic i've been reading this and going to meetings and it has been alot of help.. to laura & julie go to meeting because we need you. this is a we program i remeber at one meeting a woman reminding me to breath in and out. thing do change if we work for them and, if nothing else pray for the willness to not take a drink.it will be different, if you try it put half the effort in this program as you do your driking and you will be surprised at what will happen. don't give up no matter what.


Member: mike
Location: way out west
Date: 12/8/00
Time: 9:13:31 AM

Comments

mike alcoholic ive noticed a few things over the years. i was treasurer a few years back and was pretty casual about it. it was an attitude you know. very relaxed. id just dump the money from the business meeting in a hat, count it and take it to the bank and pay the group bills. the previous treasurer counted everything ,listed it all, and graphed it. meeting secretarys who didn't turn in envelopes she phoned up. she was really on top of it. i dont know that she got any more envelopes turned in than i did but she paid a pretty high price for that control. it says in the big book somewhere that we have two prusuaders in life for both me and you in aa. they are god as in the steps and booze. i can have one or the other. when im disturbed about anything and im looking any other place but in a mirror im looking the wrong way. lately my failures have been of telling some folkes a little to much truth. i been rubbing their nose in it(sponcees), and got fired. don't know that that was a bad thing in the long run but i was disturbed so the problem is surely mine. my god is much more mannerly than i am. he never intrudes, is very patient with me, and always loves me . i need to work a little more on that . lastly when i remember to give god the credit for success and take the credit for my failures life works pretty well. love mike ps see you next week


Member: Chaz M
Location: Delaware
Date: 12/8/00
Time: 11:40:05 AM

Comments

Excuse me, can someone please explain 2 me the topic discussion 4 2day?


Member: Robert
Location: Canada
Date: 12/8/00
Time: 11:59:37 AM

Comments

Im just coming back too,and its the worst feeling ever.How could a few days of drinking cause so much trouble?This slip has wrecked a lot of what I ve been trying to build in the last year and it is completely demorarlizing.I might just have learned one thing from it all,that a drink off booze to me is the same as a hit of smack to a junkie.Total devastation.And then you only want more.If I get through this this time,I might be Ok,cause I know I don't have the strenght to do it ever again.Don't ever forget folks,how powerful this addiction is,and don't let anything make you think its worth taking a drink over>


Member: Owen K
Location: Canada
Date: 12/8/00
Time: 12:43:36 PM

Comments

Peter D and SeMeGoD thank you for the words of encouragement. It is day 5 now and so far so good. Took yesterday off and went Christmas shopping with my wife. It was difficult but still managed to havew a pretty good day. Noticed that my patience is growing short, and have physical manifestations. Now know where the term "drying out" comes from. Drinking gallons of water daily. Thank God I have found this site, especially with the holidays coming.


Member: Bob S.
Location: Salt Lake
Date: 12/8/00
Time: 1:46:52 PM

Comments

Hi all, SL Bob, alcoholic. Laura: like Kim D. says, can really feel your pain and remorse. I can also hear your hope and commend you for moving in the direction of reocvery. AA still has 12th step call lists of people and will arrange for you to have contact with another woman in your area. Hang in there and know that many of us are praying for you. Kim D: just want to give you credit for your posts. Always so supportive and wise. Pain can be quite the teacher of empathy and benevolence, can't it? Wellness, happiness and peace to all,Bob


Member: Leslie M.
Location: Collegeville, PA
Date: 12/8/00
Time: 2:31:13 PM

Comments

It takes a lot of guts to come back to the rooms after going back out, and even more gutsy to admit it. Good for you, Laura ... it's never too late. I'm wondering, for anyone else who went back out there, why do you think it happened? Not making meetings? Resentments? I haven't been making nearly enough meetings lately, and those resentments are really beginning to work on me. Thanks for your comments.


Member: Carmela
Location:
Date: 12/8/00
Time: 3:10:09 PM

Comments

Hi all! God bless all the newcomers. Thank You for having the courage to share on this site! Just take it slow, pray and get people you feel you can talk to to help guide you on this great journey. And to all of you who have the parties to go to-- give yourself an "out" drive yourself if possible, take alot of quarters for the phone and alot of #'s See you . Carmela


Member: sam b
Location: nj
Date: 12/8/00
Time: 7:36:28 PM

Comments

screw all you aa people. i'm drunk as a lord. i piss on you. i am only being honest. i have been drunk and i have been sober, both are good. you seem to say make a choice, but i say i choose first one then the other. may the lord jesus bless us all both drunk and sober.


Member: Susan C.
Location: Austin
Date: 12/8/00
Time: 8:15:08 PM

Comments

Re: What do you do for your health, and being newly sober. As a female, I thought it was just me, but found out different as I sobered up, that I cry a lot. Cry everytime I share at meetings. I have found that part of that was hormonal, so now I take the meds--hormones, vitamins and so on, get enough rest and try to eat regularly. Also exercise. And do not smoke and about half decaf. However, I do still indulge in occasional deserts. I figure that is MUCH less destructive than drinking, and I feel I deserve that tiny vice. Have three years, nine months now. So its somewhat working. I still cry everytime I share, but that's o.k. Someone told me early in sobriety that it takes five years to get all your marbles back. I'm not there yet, but I have enough of them back to realize the point he made and it does take awhile--at least if you drank as much as I did. So, newbees, do not despair. It just takes some time and you can't do everything at once. If you can manage to get enough sleep and eat (mostly) properly, the rest comes with time. Just whatever you do, go to meetings, get a sponsor, and keep busy. I hate to clean, but the first six months my house was spotless!! Congrats to you that have only a few days or weeks. I found the 90 day chip the toughest to get and I carry it everywhere, always. Just ODAAT will get you there.


Member: jose
Location:
Date: 12/8/00
Time: 8:38:24 PM

Comments

sam b,go get drunk then go screw yourself with a..............ballpark sausage.ha-ha

jose


Member: Marv B.
Location: Bedford, Tx.
Date: 12/8/00
Time: 9:34:29 PM

Comments

To Paul M. who had 2 days sober at the beginning of this meeting: Congratulations! You'll build a great life and many days of sobriety in AA by staying with it. I have many many 24 hours of sobriety. I always recall my sponsor telling me that he was one drink away from a drunk and he had 20 years sobriety when I sobered up 31 years ago. He's still alive. It's not even imaginable that someone could go that long without a drink. For many people in aa, to achieve 1 or 2 years sobriety is an absolutely wonderful feeling. It certainly was for me. For people who are struggling, to get sober, just the thought of trying to go 90 days seems like a monster. But, to the new person coming just trying to come off heavy drinking, 24 hours seems like an eternity. I won't forget how tough it really was. But a new life and a new world will come your way if you hang with it. The promises of AA offer us much hope. If you've done as we have done, those 2 days are already 6 days now. Imagine, almost 1 whole week without drinking. I reached a point whereby I couldn't go 1 week on my own anymore. But with AA I made it. I thought I was the world's biggest success at 90 days. So, Paul, Welcome to the worldwide fellowship. Keep coming back. Marv B.


Member: Eddie A.
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Date: 12/8/00
Time: 10:37:40 PM

Comments

Eddie A. alcoholic. This week's discussion appears to be on staying sober began with 2 days, posting before mine refers to 31 and 51 years...thats a hell of alot of 24hrs back to back. I have been sober for 5174 days (thats a little over 14 yrs one day at a time). I would be dead if it weren't for AA, a sponser and a home group. I travel alot away from home and just stumbled onto this site.. Thank God. After all this time, staying sober is still my #1 priority in life. I have truly been rocketed into a 4th dimension beyond my wildest drunken dreams. Who'd of thought that a Vietnam Vet (3 tours), with such dreadful baggage could stay sober, certainly not me. I learned long ago the I can't...We Can! For those new to sobriety, find a live physical home group, a real sponser and don't pick up a drink, even if you think your ass is falling off... my ass has fallen off multiple times in 14yrs, and everytime AA and the 12 steps taught be a new way to pass gas and find relief.... One Day at a Time that is how it's done, it has worked for me and it can work for anyone who is WILLING to be OPEN-MINDED and get HONEST with themselves.


Member: Edie R.
Location: S.C.
Date: 12/9/00
Time: 7:26:12 AM

Comments

Hello Everyone, I'm Edie, an alcoholic.

Laura,and anyone else new or returning to AA, it truly is easier to stay sober than it is to get sober. I found that out after my 2 and a half year relapse. I almost didn't make it this time around and a lot of people don't make it back. Laura I can totally identify with everything you said, that sense of self esteem went the fastest for me. I also always wanted to be a good Mother, my Daughter was 13 the first time I got sober so the majority of her life I was drunk. I tell myself that I did the best that I could at the time. I now know that I can do better and I have a life that is better than I deserve. AA always welcomes us retreads back with opened arms. There is hope than all that you had before can and will be returned to you if you work the steps of AA. There is nothing so bad, that a drink couldn't make worse. I am so thankful for all of you and for AA.

Love and Peace to all.


Member: Scott H
Location: Michigan
Date: 12/9/00
Time: 7:49:26 AM

Comments

Good morning all, Scott, alcoholic, Edies comment about "nothing being so bad that a drink couldn't make worse" says it all for Me. Laura, I gave up six years of quality sobriety because I quit going to meetings. convinced I could handle it on my own I set out to prove it.that was in 1996. since then I have been in and out of AA and five treatment centers. I finall realized that that My bset thinking got Me where I am today. My problem was that I wasn't "willing to go to any length" . Today I am willing and my desire to stay sober is much greater than My desire to drink.I had to let go and let god. Notheing,absolutely nothing is more important today than My recovery. Lose everything If I must. Humble myself I will. But for the grace of God I would be drunk today. If no one has told You that they Love You today, I'm telling You that I love You and all the members here Love You.


Member: Randy  M
Location: oregon
Date: 12/9/00
Time: 9:59:37 AM

Comments

hey Sam b nice to see you here, looking for something?..you are at the right place keep comming back bro....been there done that..


Member: SeMiGoD
Location: ND
Date: 12/9/00
Time: 1:10:50 PM

Comments

OwenK....dont forget your first posting...no anger...remember those feelings you had at that very moment, i know its hard and easier said than done but the end result is well worth it. it wont be today or tomorrow but it will be...just try relax and give it time and it will ALL come together for you


Member: Laura
Location: Milwaukee
Date: 12/9/00
Time: 2:42:20 PM

Comments

Laura, alcolohic, Thank You everyone for your support.....I drank the night I posted, but went to my first live meeting last night in 7 years. I broke down, I was so moved..I felt so at HOME even though my sobriety before was in a different state altogether. I got lots of phone numbers, and some very valuable information about relocating mothers and children in violent situations. My husband has already screamed his head off at me, because I won't let him in my bed if he's drinking..he just took our only car (he has no license - 2 DUI's) and is heading for a "buddy's". I was feeling so positive this morning (even though I only got 3 hours sleep - will take a while for that to come naturally I know). Even though his screaming is still ringing in my ears, I read the new posts just now, and was moved to tears. I feel some strength coming back. Thank you.

The meeting last night was a women's step study, and the step was 3. I am so willing to turn it over...I don't have energy to do anything myself right now. But I might have to take action to protect myself..today I will call someone (or a couple someone's) and pray to stay sober one more day, and hang on to my newcomers chip.

Thanks again for being here!!!!!!! You all helped me take my first step.


Member: htU
Location:
Date: 12/9/00
Time: 9:15:50 PM

Comments

i like to sit on hotdogs.

htU


Member: lu-lu
Location:
Date: 12/9/00
Time: 10:07:50 PM

Comments

htu you are a freak boy.

lu-lu


Member: OBSERVER
Location: EARTH
Date: 12/9/00
Time: 11:59:34 PM

Comments

LULU AND HTU AND ANY OTHER IGNORANT, IMMATURE, IDIOT NOT CONTRIBUTING ANYTHING POSITIVE TO THIS SITE..GO TO THE CHAT ROOMS. PLEASE!

AS FAR AS ME GETTING DRUNK CUZ I'M POINTING THE CHILDISHNESS OUT...WHY ARE YOU TAKING MY INVENTORY...ISN'T THAT THE "POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK"


Member: observing the observer
Location:
Date: 12/10/00
Time: 1:54:16 AM

Comments

Counting the days until Observer loses it completely and gets hammered...stop shouting ya moron!


Member: Gary J.
Location: Forks, Washington
Date: 12/10/00
Time: 1:56:31 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Gary, I'm an alcoholic. I woulkd like it if someone would chat with me once a week. you can email me and my spouse at littlemo@centurytel.com Sincerely, Garyand littlemo


Member: Becky
Location: California
Date: 12/10/00
Time: 1:34:05 PM

Comments

Laura,

It sounds like you are going through a very rough time. I encourage you to stay on course and contact people who can help you right now.

I know it is hard to live in a situation where there is emotional, psychological and maybe even physical abuse. You are correct in wanting to protect yourself. If you need to leave or change the locks on the doors, then do whatever it takes to be safe.

Remember, this is a time of trial and if you work towards improving your own life, it will pass. Also, you wouldn't be the first person who by example shows a spouse the way out as well. Of course, for now, you need to concentrate on yourself.

Good Luck!


Member: lu-lu
Location: the god send
Date: 12/10/00
Time: 2:56:36 PM

Comments

earth observer;you are drinking again arnt you??

ahh,but we can tell when mr.barleycorn takes over................flee the moment,aahh denial, then the bottle again.........

lu-lu


Member: Good-Riddance
Location: Lewinskyville
Date: 12/10/00
Time: 5:37:30 PM

Comments

I believe Earth Observer tells it like it is! But you Abominable Alcoholics who just can't get your minds out of the drunken spitoons have to resort to accusing anyone who points out your stench filled nakedness with some lies by that lower power of pestilence and death, who you indeed love to share with!! Why don't you all give us a break and go and drink about a gallon of whiskey in one gulp!!


Member: ms
Location:
Date: 12/10/00
Time: 6:57:50 PM

Comments

i need help. i have about three months sober and i dont have the desire to drink but instead of drinking to cope with life i have been substituting cutting myself. i need to stop but i cant. i dont know how to let my anger out. i want to cry so bad and i cant. i come close and then it wont go. i dont deserve to feel bad. i dont deserve to cry so i dont let myself. i know this isnt the way i should be thinking but it is. somebody help me. ms


Member: genie
Location:
Date: 12/10/00
Time: 7:25:37 PM

Comments

help


Member: Bob S.
Location: Salt Lake
Date: 12/10/00
Time: 7:27:00 PM

Comments

MS: you've hit the nail on the head...for some reason you don't know how to have your feelings and talk about them, so you cut on yourself so you CAN feel, physically. Apparently you don't think it's safe to have all those emotionally feelings, so physical feelings are a sort of substitute, but you probably already know this. If you have medical insurance, call them to get a referral from your primary care physician to one of their mental health therapists. If you don't have insurance, call your local county mental health agency and tell them what you are doing and they will provide a referral to someone qualified to help you. As you lprobably know, AA does not dealy with the kind of problem you are experiencing, but eventually AA and the steps can assist you in dealing with your feelings in a better way. You have done a wonderful job of describing your problem, have good insight about it, and the ability to ask for help. You've set a fine example for us all with your willingness to honestly say what is happening with you and ask for help. Your desire to stop drinking must be significant. You apparently know that if you don't get help with this issue, you'll likely return to drinking to get help with those feelings, and your sense of hopelessness to deal with them any other way. If you will allow an opinion: you do deserve to cry. We all do. It's normal. When you've been hurt badly early in life and stuffed it for a long time, there's a 'switch' that thinks that if we start crying, we'll never stop. That we'll lose control. Get help MS, you deserve better than you're getting right now. G~d loves you and so do we. Bob


Member: prince albert
Location:
Date: 12/10/00
Time: 8:21:35 PM

Comments

somebody get me out of this can.....help!!!!


Member: OBSERVER
Location: EARTH
Date: 12/10/00
Time: 10:49:49 PM

Comments

MY COMMENTS WERE DIRECT AND TO THE POINT..LULU WITH THE STAINED TUTU..UP YOURS...TO THE GUY OBSERVING ME, LISTEN AND LEARN

I MUST SHOUT...THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE AN ONLINE MEETING FOR THOSE WHO CANNOT FIND HELP.

LIKE THE GUY WHO SOUND LIKE HE NEED HELP...DON'T TAKE THE FIRST DRINK, GO TO MEETINGS, GET A SPONSER, READ THE BIG BOOK, CLEAN HOUSE.


Member: Thelma W
Location: Indiana
Date: 12/10/00
Time: 11:00:07 PM

Comments

Hi my name is Thelma and I have 10yrs of soberiety and t took me one day at atime. I have went through a lot and I have not found one reason for me to go back to that woeld of insanity.