Member: Bob S.
Location: Salt Lake
Date: 11/26/00
Time: 10:14:16 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Bob and an alcoholic. If this is allright, I'd like to make one topic "praying only for knowledge of his will for me, and the power to carry that out". My most frequent problems in sobriety come from 'self will', when I lose contact with guidance from my higher power. My reprieve is entirely contingent upon maintenance of my spiritual program. My ego gets in the way easily when I don't rigorously practice 'maintenance'. If this makes sense to anyone, then use it as a topic. Thanks for letting me share. Bob


Member: Robert L
Location: Little Rock
Date: 11/26/00
Time: 10:52:32 PM

Comments

Hi, Robert an alcoholic.To me one day at a time means not worrying about tomorrow because I'm too busy concentrating on today and all it has to teach me. My attitude adjustment came in August this year while in a treatment facility. My spiritual eyes were opened with the help and guidance of the community of fellow addicts and staff.I'm on a 90 in 90 and tonight was my first cyber meeting. AA is GREAT, I actually like myself now, and now that I like myself I can begin to relate to others in more meaningful ways. My fear of people is diminishing, and the promises are coming true, particularly about financial worries slipping away. I am so grateful for my home group's support and friendship. For the addict who still suffers go to a meeting, get a sponsor and listen. There are teachers all around us, not just in meetings, they are everywhere and if you open your spiritual eyes you will see what they have to show you. I once thought that religion and spirituality were the same. I have a lot of negative ideas about religion, but I call my Higher Power God. Thank you for listening to my thoughts, I'm Robert an alcoholic.


Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: 11/26/00
Time: 11:11:27 PM

Comments

Hi Bob. Terrific topic.

Way back in the beginning, we saw that we were powerless over alcohol. So, one of the things we are going to do on our journey through the steps is to find a power outside of ourselves. "Came to believe" in the second step implies a period of time.

One of the requirements of the Steps is that we must be convinced that any life run on self-will could hardly be a success. And we should make some sort of a decision to find this power and use it. We will do that in Steps Four through Nine.

Before we are halfway through the Ninth, the promises tell us that "We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we cannot do for ourselves." This is a guarantee if we are painstaking and do the work. This is also the point where we make our conscious contact.

In the last three Steps we maintain this posture. We continue to take inventory. We improve the conscious contact we have achieved through prayer. The result is that we have had a spiritual awakening.

Now, our primary purpose is to carry the message to the alcoholic that still suffers. Help others on their journey.

Thank you for being a part of my sobriety today.

Bill az-bill@primenet.com


Member: Donna B
Location: Long Beach, CA
Date: 11/27/00
Time: 12:00:47 AM

Comments

Thank You Bob, Spirituality is one of the things that was slowly developed in my sobriety. I know when I am doing Gods will because it feels like love and not forced or manipulated. When I am doing my will. I feel like I am maipulating the truth of God. I used to manipulate and control as a way of thwarting my will on the world to get my way. I am much more comfortable in my skin when I am doing God's will Not mine. I know when I let go and let god the actual good is the outcome.

I am new to this kind of format. This is my very first time. Nice to meet you and thank you for your being there for all of us. I have been to thousands of meetings and many conferences. I will see how I like this format of meetings. I still like my meetings but this will be in the venue of written daily meditation type medium for me.


Member: Richard D
Location: Kkitsap
Date: 11/27/00
Time: 2:53:27 AM

Comments

HI MY name is richard and im steil enalcoholic .that is all for now. thanks


Member: Richard D
Location: Kitsap    WA
Date: 11/27/00
Time: 2:54:47 AM

Comments

HI MY name is richard and im steil enalcoholic .that is all for now. thanks


Member: Rich R, slowly recovering compulsive person :-)
Location: Detroit
Date: 11/27/00
Time: 4:34:51 AM

Comments

Hi, my name is Rich R and I am a slowly recovering compulsive person. Bob, this topic is perfect for me today. Like so many times that I've come here in the past, I've been thinking along these lines for a few days. What a coincidence to find this as the topic!

I encountered a little 'bump' on my recovery road over the weekend, my unmarried son announced that he is going to be a father next summer. I didn't handle it very well I'm afraid. I probably should have said what I was thinking: that he will make a good father. Instead I got hung up on "I wish he had waited until after marriage". Later my wife and I were discussing the situation and my reflection went something like this...in pre-marital or extra-marital affairs I am pretty sure it is just sex, i.e. the individual getting his/her needs met. But, when you are M'd there is a chance that it is more than just sex...it might be love, i.e. one puts the other's needs before your own. Not sure if that makes sense to you, but it did to me.

Anyway, what does that have to do with the topic? It has taken many years for me to put my wife's needs in front of my own (and I'd be a liar if I told I do that every time). In the same way it takes a lot of effort to put God's will in front of my own. Even tho I know if I put God's will first, good things usually happen in my life. The 'little baby' in me still wants what I want when I want it!

Thanks for the topic Bob, it was just what I needed. I'll be back during the week to read what others have to share.


Member: Charlie Darling
Location: Key West FL.
Date: 11/27/00
Time: 6:40:35 AM

Comments

Charlie Darling a very grEATFUL RECOVERING ALCHOLIC Hello family. Great topic, and just a couple of things Robert L you sound the way I did when I first got sober and on that pink cloud it comes and goes, but I try to keep it in my everyday life with an attitude adjustment, and this program works only if you work it, and today I can say it is great to be SOBER I love sobriey. God works in my life by keeping me from that first drink, and I like that as I don't want to go back to that way of life, and I try to avoid emotional upsets as that is what can lead us back to that lousy life. Today I am happy and most of all GRATEFUL, as I keep gratitude in my life not only for the good but also the bad things that happen, because everything happens for a reason, which is all part of our growing up in this program of AA and staying sober. I will keep coming back for as long as it takes as I know I won't be cured of this desease, but at least for today I feel good about myself and not crappy as I did for years. This sight is great as it helped me to stay sober for 5 months when I could'nt get to a meeting and I owe you all alot for keeping me sober and giving me your ESH to get through all I was going through. I LOVE YOU and thank you for letting me share a grateful heart is a sober heart kwduke@keysdigital,com


Member: Bert.K.
Location: Victoria  Australia.
Date: 11/27/00
Time: 8:19:37 AM

Comments

Hi Bert.K.from Australia. Good topic,yet not always easy to abide by,but the program only asks me to try. Gods will for me I know is good because when I let god in my life is very very good,then comes in my will and yes my life slowly goes into turmoil mode. Now wouldn't you think that I would have learnt over the past 19 years that Gods will for me is best, but then of course I am only human. My life today has been great, it was Gods way. I am a very happy sober Alkie today. Today I thank God for A.A. and I thank A.A. for God. Love you all Bert.K. ( the time here is 12:20pm so I'm off to bed.)


Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 11/27/00
Time: 8:35:18 AM

Comments

to be responcible,to carry out what i said i would do.when i give my word i try to come through with it.when i practice this it lifts me up,just knowing that i am trying to be honest and trust worthy.i ask God for help every morning help to stay away from a drink or a drug substatute also to be of some service today,to help mankind today.my best day's seem to be when i stay out of the way,and just let the day un-fold,to observe more,but also hold up my end of the table so to speak.in the beginning of sobriety i had to change the way i think. i really hit the books hard and listened intently,i found out i'm not alone, that was half the battle,we have very similar behavior when drinking,my drinking kept taking me to a new level of low,through prayer and aa my level of peace of mind and better living conditions,love and understanding is on the rise.and i work on letting the message in every day,thanks for lstening,i'm tony an alcooholic.


Member: LJ
Location: WI
Date: 11/27/00
Time: 9:19:24 AM

Comments

Hi, LJ, recovering adict & alcoholic.

Great Topic. How do I, "pray only for knowledge of his will for me and the power to carry that out?" I'm not sure. I pray unceasingly. I ask and answers come and I am not sure if they are selfish or inspired. All I know is that when it is right, it feels right. And, if it is right, it is right for everyone. I don't know why that is true but even if the decision or outcome is painfull, it can still be right. Even if it is only as a learning experience.

I am a bit tossed today. My husband's family is just leaving. The whole bunch of them were visiting us, and my inlaws, for the past week. They are a selfish, affected and self seaking bunch. But, I felt left out and unappreciated. I missed my family and felt that they were put in the back seat, by me!! I feel bad about that but kept going to meetings. It is difficult to be around people who need the program. Although they respect me for not drinking, and don't drink around me, I still have a ball of resentments big enough to choke them with. The result was that it just choked me. I was not able to let the love out that was in me. My sponsor said that I should not feel bad for doing what I need to do to take care of myself. (I went to meetings and spent some time with program people.) But I still feel bad and angry at the same time. Any comments on this would be greatly appreciated.

Dear Rick- My mom was married pregnant, so was I. My husband asked me what I would do if one of our daughters came home with the same news. I said, "We would go shopping!!" You see, there is no going back. Your son's childhood is over. I explained it to my daughters as such: "Being a parent is like having to do chores 24 hours a day." (We live on a farm.) The future is wide open for you, Grandpa. Erma Bombeck said it well. "I wish that I would have not wished the nine months would end, but would have realized that giving birth is the only way to assist God in a miracle." Spend some cash, buy a crib, have a shower, paint a room. Help those two scared kids bring another miracle into the world and feel great about it. My heart goes out to you, Grandpa. Much love and thank you for letting me share.


Member: Teresa R.
Location: Missouri
Date: 11/27/00
Time: 9:46:34 AM

Comments

Hello


Member: Gerry M
Location: Lawrenceville, GA
Date: 11/27/00
Time: 12:58:52 PM

Comments

Not sure where to begin. After a St Patty's party and several coctails later, an arguement with my wife of 26 years happened (usually we never argue). After slapping her, I called 911 and was treated like an animal from that point on. Prayer has not been that much a part of my life, but I have been praying from that date on. I was told to attend "anger management" for 24 weeks and also AA meetings - I can't say I have never been drunk in my life - but not sure you can catagorize a social coctail on rare occasions as an "alcoholic". I have learned many things from reading all of the comments in this site. I am thankful to God for my control and the understanding of my wife and family.

The people I have met in my meetings are quite a collection. Some are confident in their decision to control their abuse of alcohol or drugs and some are scared to death. I pray for those who are afraid! I pray they will obtain the strengh to continue being sober. My suggestion is not to associate with those who do what you should not do!!!!

I have made a promise to myself and to my family, that I will take these sessions seriously and will not consume any liquor/beer during the next 24 weeks. I truly think that it will not be difficult for me, since I do not normally have an addictive personality, however, New Years Eve will be the test.

Thank you for your Cyber Site and I will visit again!!!!


Member: Robert
Location: Canada
Date: 11/27/00
Time: 2:33:08 PM

Comments

This may be off topic but I just want to tell you all,that for me coming back after another relapse is far tougher than it was going to that first AA meeting.Its the feeling of complete failure,the"How to hell could I have let this happen after all I thought I learned in the last 5 years or so of AA"?And the let down Ive given my family is devestating to say the least.My life after a few weeks of drinking is in worse mess than it was when I first came into the program.This is a truly wretched disease we have,and its always waiting for something to get us down enough to think"a hell,I deserve a drink with what Im going through"If I hadn't taken that first drink a few weeks ago,things would be unbelievably better right now.At least Id still have a job.Well,you say"everything happens for a reason"and I believe that I guess.Some say this whole thing we call life is just a training ground for a higher level of existance.Im not sure what I believe right now,but Im taking anti-buse so I can't drink and trying to get back into meetings.I guess Ive never been honest yet at all,never really worked the steps as their supposed to work[though Ive tried}so Im just getting through each day and hopeing the next one will be a little easier.Anyway,I just wanted to share my experience that if anyone whos had real battles with booze in the past thinks that numbing oneself with alcohol will make a bad situation easier to deal with,it will,but only for a very short period of time,then things really go to hell.Just watched the movie "28DAYS"last night,its truely painful for someone whose been there.And now starting all over again.


Member: Robert
Location: Canada
Date: 11/27/00
Time: 2:33:35 PM

Comments

This may be off topic but I just want to tell you all,that for me coming back after another relapse is far tougher than it was going to that first AA meeting.Its the feeling of complete failure,the"How to hell could I have let this happen after all I thought I learned in the last 5 years or so of AA"?And the let down Ive given my family is devestating to say the least.My life after a few weeks of drinking is in worse mess than it was when I first came into the program.This is a truly wretched disease we have,and its always waiting for something to get us down enough to think"a hell,I deserve a drink with what Im going through"If I hadn't taken that first drink a few weeks ago,things would be unbelievably better right now.At least Id still have a job.Well,you say"everything happens for a reason"and I believe that I guess.Some say this whole thing we call life is just a training ground for a higher level of existance.Im not sure what I believe right now,but Im taking anti-buse so I can't drink and trying to get back into meetings.I guess Ive never been honest yet at all,never really worked the steps as their supposed to work[though Ive tried}so Im just getting through each day and hopeing the next one will be a little easier.Anyway,I just wanted to share my experience that if anyone whos had real battles with booze in the past thinks that numbing oneself with alcohol will make a bad situation easier to deal with,it will,but only for a very short period of time,then things really go to hell.Just watched the movie "28DAYS"last night,its truely painful for someone whose been there.And now starting all over again.


Member: Josephine B
Location: London
Date: 11/27/00
Time: 3:39:41 PM

Comments

I am new to the fellowship (6 months) and last week I felt desperate. I was at work and having a pretty rough time of it, but for the first time since coming in to the fellowship I used the tools I have been given and I went into the loos, composed myself and instead of crying and feeling sorry for myself I said the serenity prayer. It completely stablised me. Then the real test came: I work in a company where everyone raids the fridge (full of free wine and beer) at 5pm every night. On this day the smell of it drove me crazy-it completely took me by surprise (and guess what, I was hungry, angry, lonely, tired)my heart really was palpitating, my head was all over the place and every part of my body was craving out for alcohol-but thanks to the fellowship I was equipped to know exactly what to do. I went to a meeting. For the first time I really do accept that I am powerless over alchohol. I replaced the craving with an urge to go to a meeting. My self will would have taken me down a very different path and I am grateful to the 'higher power' for taking me to where I am today. I had never had a craving like that and I am I in no doubt whatsoever that that left to my own self will I would have taken that drink. I am having problems with the word 'God', but now I cannot doubt that it really is a miracle that I haven't had a drink. One day at a time, I hope I can capture some of the spirituality that fills the rooms and stay sober. Thanks.


Member: 2001
Location:
Date: 11/27/00
Time: 4:27:23 PM

Comments

happy new years,i mean merry christmas


Member: MIKE W.
Location: MARYLAND
Date: 11/27/00
Time: 6:40:56 PM

Comments

HELLO, MY NAME IS MIKE AND I AM AN ALCOHOLIC! I FEEL PERSONAL ANONYMITY IS VERY IMPORTANT. IHAVE BEEN ORDERED BY THE COURT SYSTEM TO ATTEND TWO MEETINGS PER WEEK. I ATTENDED ON MY OWN PRIOR TO MY SLIP AND LEGAL PROBLEM BUT I FEEL DIFFERENT WHEN I HAVE TO GET THE COURT SLIP SIGNED. I WANT TO REMAIN SOBER FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE AND I FEEL I NEED AN ALTERNATIVE TO THE LOCAL MEETINGS, AS IAM VERY SELF CONSCIOUS AND WOULD LIKE TO REDUCE THE ANXIETY IN MY LIFE. THE ELEVENTH TRADITION IS INTERPETED DIFFERENTLY BY MANY PEOPLE. MY GOAL IS TO STAY SOBER AND I WAS TOLD THAT I NEED TO BE SELFISH AT TIMES TO MAINTAIN MY SOBRIETY, I FEEL THIS WAS THE CAUSE OF MY LAST SLIP AND PRESENT LEGAL SITUATION. I AM GOING TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO REMAIN SOBER TO MY FINAL DAY ON EARTH, AND WITH THE HELP AND UNDERSTANDING OF PEOPLE I LOVE AND PEOPLE I MUST DEAL WITH REGARLESS I KNOW I CAN DO THIS. THANK YOUFOR BEING HERE FOR ME AS I FEEL THIS MY BEST WAY OF EXPRESSION AND IS A TREMENDOUS HELP IN REDUCING THE ANXIETY I SUFFER WITH.

MIKE W.


Member: Bev. V.
Location: Branson,Mo.USA
Date: 11/27/00
Time: 7:48:14 PM

Comments

Hi, Bev, alcoholic...I'm just listening.But,wanted to say Thanks for the topic and everyone for sharing...


Member: rc
Location:
Date: 11/27/00
Time: 8:08:26 PM

Comments

hey mike that 2awk.meeting court shit sucks,hey but its better then prison,but then the po suks worse!

ron the con


Member: Marty G.
Location: Manitowoc, WI.
Date: 11/27/00
Time: 10:33:45 PM

Comments

When i started working on my second step, i was told fake it till you make it. Fortunately i had a wonderful sponsor who worked the steps with me. I used the people around the tables of a.a. at first as my higher power, and after i came around for a while, i then came to believe in a power greater than myself, and of my own understanding;i.e.; first i just came, then i came to, and then i came to believe. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: sister ignatia
Location:
Date: 11/27/00
Time: 10:51:23 PM

Comments

if god were alive today,i wonder what he would say.


Member: DAVE  P.
Location: WES.    MA.
Date: 11/27/00
Time: 10:57:17 PM

Comments

Hey Bob, great topic. Been sober just short of two years. Been though some stuff,some real some imagend. Oh for sure, not picking up a drink goes a long way. Even though I'm just working 123-123,I've come to believe my Higher Power wants me to be sober.I am also sure it's only by Gods grace I'm sober.The pink cloud stage is over and its time to get to work. When I here someone like yourself working the program to best of yer ability my ears lite up. Thats what helps me most. Bob' you get two ataboys. How better can we be of service than to share our own difficulties? Thanks for sharing. Your doing the right thing.


Member: reply to sister ignorant
Location:
Date: 11/27/00
Time: 11:38:49 PM

Comments

God would say: "I know Sister Ignatia, you are not Sister Ignatia!!!"

Lose the name, yobbo.


Member: alcoholic
Location: trudging the road...
Date: 11/28/00
Time: 12:23:35 AM

Comments

hi alcoholic here

interesting topics, i was pretty young, when i sobered up, "scarcely more than a potential alcoholic" as the bb says. i had rebelled against the church of my upbringing (catholic, can you blame me lol). i was convinced that i was above this hokey religion stuff and since i was one of the worst type of alcoholic (intellectual) i thought that i had the world figured out. a suicide attempt later i was in a treatment center after my mother had intervened and it was not going well. well, my counselor, bless his soul, had me read a interesting book by the spiritual writer og mandino and the title escapes me now. i think i was ready and had a spiritual awakening, it was the single most moving, beautiful experience that i will never forget. i think it was what i needed to even begin the road towards recovery and basically put the plug in the jug.

i was miserable for two years after, i had been introduced to the program but thought as in the 12 by 12 says, i could float above the other "common" alcoholic in my prideful, intellectual manner but the emotional problems remained. i was just a miserable, unhappy, and gloomy as when i was using but did not have the "shield" to protect me from reality. after being sick and tired of being sick and tired i knew i had to do something else risk going back to using or losing my mind. i finally becaming willing to learn "how" to work the program and became willing, open-minded and as honest as i could be. after that my spirituality came through people, places, and things and much more like other people's spiritual awakenings. i've had to do several fourth and fifth steps because i was such a liar that i even fooled myself.

today, i have problems in living mainly. i thank my higher power for his taking my urge to drink away. i am still trying to find another f2f group but am using this medium to have a "pseudo meeting" as i believe f2f meeting are the "real thing." i pray a lot, try my best to do my higher power's will, and when i'm not sure, i "fake it till i make it." i've made many mistakes in my life and am becoming more and more willing to have my higher power run the show as i truly believe i have been given a spiritual reprieve, daily, 24 hours in which to work my program.

i have a professional career, a family and children, and the respect of my family and most importantly my sobriety and serentiy at times. don't get me wrong, its not all a "rose garden" but i would not trade my worst day in my sobriety for my best using day.

well, thanks for letting me share, keep coming back, it works if you work it, i'll take another 24.


Member: Greg J.
Location: al.
Date: 11/28/00
Time: 12:39:19 AM

Comments

Hey Bob,ny name is Greg and I am an alcoholic,and a late night t.v. watcher,will clean the rugs 20 times a day or anything else!Alcoholics are compulsive people and will do anything from drugs to women to keep their minds off of their problems!As you can tell I am sick of all the anda's treatment B.S. The program is simple work the steps and you will find you don't have a lot of time for self-will.Simply guessing you have not taken steps 1,2 and3 to heart or you wouldn't be in the mess you'r in.I drank daily for 20 years.Was sent to 9 of the best treatment centers money could by ifyou don't take steps 1,2and3 and don't did they WILL take you.I quit drinking 3 days before being served warrents,indited by the federal grand jury facing 50 to life.I stayed sober and seeked out the best help I could find.Until my first year I wasn't allowed to be around anyone with less than 10 years sober.I have to be careful how I say this but my great,great grandsponsor's first name was Bob.I was sober just on three years when I bought my third buss.in aug.married in sept and told I had full blown cancer in oct.5weeks to live.Well as you can tell I'm still here and fighting to save A.A. for others so we don't forget why we are here and fall like the over half million strong that got sober before A.A. came along.the only thing I can tell you is get drunk or get busy,read page 449 it is the most misunderstood in the book,it dosen't say we have to like a single thing going on!It's called life.All that page is,is a prelude to the serenity prayer,I'm not sorry but I was raised on hard core A.A., so quit wining and work the steps,millions sober can't be wrong!Feel free to write me anytime,greg


Member: LJ
Location: WI
Date: 11/28/00
Time: 9:46:51 AM

Comments

Hi, LJ, recovering adict alcoholic:

I have a follow up from the entry I made yesterday. I went to a meeting and, "put it on the tables." I got the most profound responses concerning my affected family members.

A dear friend in the program said, "It took me a long time to learn that what other people think of me is non of my business!!" What a concept!! I have been saying it over and over to myself ever since. Like many of you, if I have a problem in one area, it is everywhere else as well. People at work don't appreciate me: It is none of my business what they think of me. My husband is mad at me because, when he woke me up in the middle of the night, I said something icky: It is not my business what other people think of me. One of my best friends in the program was having a bad day and basically chewed me out at the meeting for not getting on with my issue and continually rehashing it (It was only Saturday when it happened.): It is not my business what other people think of me.

Everyone has their own issues. It is just not my business to either mind-read or interfere or, more importantly: take their inventory. I need to work my program and, "take care of what I sit on." If prayer leads me to make amends, or if prayer leads me to give someone some space, then I am growing spritually. We are directed to, "live along spiritual lines," not have all of the answers today. God has never given me the power to fix anyone or change the way they feel.

On the recommendation of another AA, I have started to read, "Working with Others." What a freeing thing. Yes, we need to work with other suffering persons. But, that does not mean that we focus on them to the point that we overlook the next sufferer.

If anyone knows of a web location where the Big Book text version can be read or downloaded, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks again for listening. LJ


Member: LJ
Location: WI
Date: 11/28/00
Time: 10:03:17 AM

Comments

I'e just found it.

On Line Big Book: http://www.recovery.org/aa/bigbook/ww/

LJ


Member: heavens gate
Location:
Date: 11/28/00
Time: 11:48:22 AM

Comments

whats a yobbo???????????you boys give me back those coins.

sister ignatia


Member: heidi p
Location: NY (usually)--Spain at the moment
Date: 11/28/00
Time: 2:08:16 PM

Comments

Hi, everybody, I'm an alcoholic. My name is Heidi and I'm so grateful to have a place to come to reconnect with my AA "family". I am currently on the trip of a lifetime (2 months traveling through Europe) and just spent a week in the Canary Islands--but did'nt go to a meeting. Now I'm feeling impatient, short tempered, sarcastic--all the negative side effects of skipping my 'medicine' for a whole week. So, without going on endlessly, I needed a meeting and this is here--thank you.

Regarding this topic, praying only for the knowledge of God's will for us..., I see this is as my goal--what we, recovering alkies, are (expected to be) working towards. To stop praying for myself and my wants, to maintain that "higher vision" that I have been given a (second chance at) life and now have a primary purpose, to do more than just work for my material desires and let time pass by, by trying to show my gratitude daily,... these are the ideals that I know that I need to look towards and work for.

I have been sober for almost 5 years and in that time I have had my ups and downs. There have been times where I have been "devoted" to my spiritual growth, by praying every morning and night, trying to meditate every day, being aware of what I was thinking and saying all throughout the day & trying to be the person that I believe God wants me to be. Then there have been times where I have slacking, and I have to honestly admit that right now is one of the times. I donīt get on my knees in the morning or at night right now, I have allowed myself to slip back to saying (and of course that means thinking too) things that I know are not right for me--like being sarcastic, criticizing people, gossiping, judging. These are characteristics that I do not want or believe God wants for me. I have heard over and over about what happens to people who "slip backwards". First they lose contact with God, then contact with the fellowship, then they drink. I know that when I donīt pray or try to meditate, not only am I blocking myself off from God and the power that keeps me sober, but I am also slipping back to my old way of thinking and acting. So either way, Iīm destined to drink if I continue. So, the action required for me is to just do it. Get on my knees and begin again. Thatīs the beauty of this. If I donīt drink, I stand another chance.

If youīre not as far along in your sobriety as you wish you were, then work with your sponsor towards that vision. If you canīt work the 11th step as it is written right now, like me, just donīt drink, go to meetings, and keep praying anyway.


Member: Changeling,R
Location:
Date: 11/28/00
Time: 2:20:33 PM

Comments

Hi. New here. Alcoholic. Trying to stop drinking. Again. Just checked out the Coffee Pot, but not in the mood to get burned right now, so thought I'd come back here. Seems friendlier. Thanks.


Member: SUSAN S.
Location: COLORADO
Date: 11/28/00
Time: 2:37:18 PM

Comments

I FINALLY HAVE BEEN ABLE TO STOP DRINKING AFTER MANY ATTEMPTS FOR THE LAST 9 YEARS. I'M A 39 YEAR OLD WOMAN, MARRIED 15 YEARS WITH 2 KIDS. I TRIED EVERYTHING TO STOP DRINKING BUT NOTHING WORKED UNTIL I FOUND THE BOOK "SEVEN WEEKS TO SOBRIETY" BY JUNE LARSON. I BOUGHT THE VITAMIN FORMULAS IN HER BOOK AND HAD MY DOUGHTER MONITOR MY ANTABUSE AND I'M FINALLY FREE. I'M SORRY TO SAY THAT AA DIDN'T WORK FOR ME BUT THIS DID. I'M NOT TRYING TO ANGER ANYONE BUT JUST GIVE SOME DESPERATE PEOPLE ANOTHER WAY OUT. AA DOESN'T WORK FOR EVERYONE AND THOSE WHO IT FAILED TO HELP DESERVE A WAY OUT, TOO. THE VITAMINS ARE MAGA DOSES AND MAKE YOU FEEL AMAZING. PEOPLE IN AA COULD TAKE THEM TOO BUT MAYBE THE GROUP WOULD FROWN ON THAT. I REALLY NOTICED IT HELPED WITH THE "INSANITY" THAT WOULD DRIVE ME TO DO ANYTHING FOR A DRINK. PLEASE ACCEPT MY APOLOGY IF THIS OFFENDS ANYONE.


Member: William,A
Location: High-Point.
Date: 11/28/00
Time: 3:02:45 PM

Comments

Hello,I am William.A.

I am an Acholic,and today I can look back on my past and say that I can remember wanting to always know what GODS,will for me was and to be able to carry out what it is that directs me daily and also to be able to love even when it- does not make since to love to do even when you have tried with all that you feel you have to give and still step up to the plate and give a-little bit more,todaay I relize that is a very tall order and to be able to do those things for me today is a little morre easy to imagine that ever before,GOD has been better to me than I have been to my-self and for that today I would like to feel the feelings that living that way could bring. our book say,s that we are to be willings to grow alongs spiritual lines,that we are not saints, this was a statment that I would hide in when I first entered the room of recovery now today I have become a lot more eag- er to live,love-and to help anotheer achieve what I think I may have ( its like when we in A/A sat that we have been rocketed into the fou- rth dimention) I believe that it is part& parcel my job or task to help some-one else to find that place in thier life.

THANK-YOU FOR THIS WORDERFUL TOPIC MY WINGS NEED TO BE SERVICED NOW.


Member: LU-LU alcoholic/alcoholic....sound redundant?so does alcoholic?"addict
Location: escaped from land of whiskey,wine shnopps,beer,mushrooms,pot,valium,halcion,black-beauties,qualudes,coke,free-base,
heroin,crack,iceetc.etc.etc.     mushrooms acid
Date: 11/28/00
Time: 3:45:03 PM

Comments

WHATS AN ENALCOHOLIC,..oh never mind i get it... WHATS SINGLENESS OF PURPOSE(((((((L.J.)))))))))WHATS SINGLENESS OF PURPOSE- WHATS SINGLENESS OF PURPOSE-WHAT DOES IT MEAN- SINGLENESS OF PURPOSE- WHATS SINGLENESS OF PURPOSE-WOW you must be very special ,and different, you're an "addict" AAANNNNDDDDD an alcoholic, BUT REALLY- WHAT IS SINGLENESS OF PURPOSE-AND WHY ARE YOU SOOOOO SPECIAL AND DIFFERENT THAT YOU DON'T FEEL IT NECCESARY TO HONOR THE PRINCIPAL OF -SINGLENESS OF PURPOSE-WHAT IS PRINCIPALS BEFORE PERSONALITIES? DOES THAT INCLUDE ONLY SOME PEOPLES PERSONALITIES?.... animal farm... some alcoholics are more alcoholic than others..te he he he te he he h hhh ha ha ha


Member: Kim D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: 11/28/00
Time: 4:52:13 PM

Comments

Kim here... recovering alcoholic.

LU LU... is it okay to put "recovering" before alcoholic... or will that upset your sensibilities as did LJ using addict in his introduction? Anyhoo...

Getting back to the topic, I have no clue what God's will is for me long term, but on a daily basis I know that staying sober and changing the self-centered, fearful person I brought into the halls is a BEGINNING. For now, my understanding God's will goes so far as getting out of my own way. Living life on life's terms isn't easy and I pray for ACCEPTANCE constantly. Sometimes the message I need to learn arrives in the guise of emotional pain and I have become willing to look for the lesson in every situation and not manipulate or try to control outcomes to my satisfaction.

Thank you, Kim


Member: She is cLUeless
Location:
Date: 11/28/00
Time: 5:02:49 PM

Comments

Lu-Lu is without a doubt a cLUeless-LUnatic.


Member: (((((((((()))))))))
Location:
Date: 11/28/00
Time: 7:52:31 PM

Comments

i love lu-lu...............she has big b**bs.

te he he


Member: LU-LU, head Angel
Location: and president of the I LOVE LU-LU CLUB
Date: 11/28/00
Time: 10:05:24 PM

Comments

TE HE HE you are sooo right they are so big,and heavy i fell on my face once while jogging in malibu... SOBER....((((KIM))))YOU ARE JUST BEING SILLY NOW, DON'T FUCK WITH ME, I WAS MOST LIKELY HERE WHEN YOU GOT HERE AND I'LL SURELY BE HERE WHEN YOU ARE GONE!you spiritual MIDGET..you just keep praying for acceptance..


Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 11/29/00
Time: 12:07:58 AM

Comments

Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome newcomers! Thanks for all the sincere shares!

Great topic. I have found that I am most likely to be in communion with my God and His will for me when I'm practicing the AA program to the best of my ability. When I'm operating on self will, I simply don't feel comfortable, and confusion, impatience, and irritability tend to reign.

Thanks to the 12 Steps, today I have a choice whether I want to try and maintain "conscious contact" with my Higher Power and whether I want to drink again.


Member: OBSERVER
Location: EARTH
Date: 11/29/00
Time: 1:25:36 AM

Comments

LULU YOUR DRONING ON AND ON IS INTERRUPTED BY SOMEONE ELSE'S AND YOU RETALIATE...SPEAKING OF SPIRITUAL MIDGETS


Member: Jack B.
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Date: 11/29/00
Time: 2:41:28 AM

Comments

Hi, I am Jack, a real alcoholic.Thru the Grace of God and the fellowship of AA, on Thanksgiving Day, this alcoholic celebrated 13 years of continous sobriety. During this time, I have learned to keep this program simple and not take myself seriously.The only thing I am sure about as far as God's will for me for this 24 hr period is to stay sober, and help another alcoholic. Whatever God's will for me today is, I am sure that it is better than my will for me today. I try to keep it as simple as possible, and the following suggestions that were given to me a while back help immensley: Don't pick up the first drink, no matter what. Trust God. Clean house where and when necessary,and help another alcoholic and see what happens. Its a wonderful way to live.If I want to get bold and adventuresome, I can adhere to the following. Don't pick up the first drink no matter what. Forget God, trust Jack in all my affairs and be totally miserable. I think for this twenty four hours, I will stick with first options. God Bless all and thanks for allowing me to share.


Member: Robert
Location: Canada
Date: 11/29/00
Time: 11:14:51 AM

Comments

Would Susan S.from Colorado get in touch with me,Id like to learn more about"Seven weeks to sobriety"by June Larson.Right now Im desperate enough to try anything,and I do keep an open mind,Has anyone else heard of this book?Mabey Im looking for the"easier softer way"but Im going to meetings,taking anti-buse,am court ordered not to drink,and readig all of staying cyber every day,yet still sometimes the urge to drink is powerful and after being in AA for several years,having some sobriety,then slipping back to the starting point,{or worse}Im to the point where,well,I just like to keep an open mind.So Susan,please E-mail me at blackstude@ns.sympatico.ca


Member: m&m
Location:
Date: 11/29/00
Time: 1:40:56 PM

Comments

what is droning mean?

im a cave dweller in the high mountains.

mountain mel


Member: Cathy S.
Location: Nashville, TN
Date: 11/29/00
Time: 1:54:16 PM

Comments

Hi everybody, My name is Cathy, and I'm an alcoholic. I don't guess I have too much more to add to what has already been said. Personally,I have to keep in mind that I couldn't handle knowing all of God's will for me - He has SUCH PLANS for all of us!!I would probably have a melt down! I don't think I could handle knowing all of the good or bad that is to happen throughout my life!

Mostly,I pray for acceptance; because God's will is gonna happen whether I like the results or not! But acceptance of life on life's terms (God's Terms)....that's the tough part for me. I just try to stick with what I know for a fact will keep me from the sunlight of the spirit. Drinking, drugs, telling lies, cheating, stealing, being miserable (pity-parties), or treat others poorly. Those are just a few, and they change day to day. I am certainly not able to refrain from all of them every day......I just try to keep doing the "next right thing", and go from there. "Practice, Not Perfection" - I get just a little better at it each day! Remember: Just like a f2f meeting, take what you need, and leave the rest! It gets a little mean in here sometimes!! God Bless! Thanks for letting me share!! Have another 24!!


Member: Jim K.
Location: West Texas
Date: 11/29/00
Time: 3:41:02 PM

Comments

Hello everyone, Jim here. Drunk/junkie-in recovery today.

This is a great topic, and really hits home. I've read some very wonderful things here today, and I appreciate and relate to so many of you. It is so nice to come here and realize I am not alone. Sometimes, even at face-to-face meetings, I feel like an island.

I have a difficult time keeping "my will" out of the picture, and I honestly have to say that I have little luck. Sometimes I pray for God's will to be done, but I really only mean if it is what ***I*** want. If it is not, I immediately step up, take over, and try to manipulate a situation to benefit me.

Not too long ago, I was in a rather stressful situation where I had made several attempts to run the show MY WAY. I was becoming "restless, irritalbe, and discontented." I did something I had never done before. ***I PRAYED FOR A SOLUTION THAT WOULD WORK FOR EVERYBODY INVOLVED, AND THAT GOD'S WILL BE DONE. I ALSO ASKED FOR GUIDANCE TO BE OF MAXIMUM BENEFIT TO ALL PARTIES INVOLVED, WITHOUT BEING SELFISH.*** Then I just let it ride. Two days later, the solution was presented, I did my part, and the problem is now a thing of the past. The solution was NOT something I would have chosen, and was somewhat uncomfortable, but things turned out okay.

I found that this method of prayer will work in many other situations in my life, including: financial, personal relaitonship, school, business. It is difficult to stay out of the way sometimes, but the more I pray for willingness and guidance, the more of these I receive.

Thank you for letting me share.


Member: Lena T
Location: Hall Beach, Nu
Date: 11/29/00
Time: 3:55:18 PM

Comments

I have a problem trying to stay clean since I got back to the North because I can't go to regular AA meetings that I was able to attend back in Calgary.


Member: dena k
Location: oregon
Date: 11/29/00
Time: 4:23:43 PM

Comments

hi all, Dena a recovering alcoholic here. this is a great topic and i can share what i have lerned after a few days of practice- whenever I get ready to do something I pray to G-d about the issue and then I let the outcome go. This works for me--as a matter of fact I asked my HP to guide and direct what I am doing right now. For me this is essential for I take over and mess up my own plans when I don't ask for the guidance that I need. Let the outcome go to HP and I just do the footwork to the best of my ability. I needed to learn how to center and ground,daily do 1,2,3 (especially after 13 yrs of this without a slip) and let it go. Whatever the consequences of what I do, it is easier to face the music than to let it fester and have more of a mess.I am sober and happy today--my business is getting too successful and I could get out of control when I forget the fact that my HP created this, not me. I just did what I had to to stay sober and recover from lifelong thought processes. hello lu-lu- glad you bring contraversy and excitement to the site with your sharings. in G-d's love and to recovery of one day at a time kepp coming back and don't give up dena


Member: Mike M
Location: Bend OR
Date: 11/29/00
Time: 5:05:06 PM

Comments

hi all mike here and Im a alcoholic thanx to god and AA I have 4 yrs of soberity today.it is as simple as A B C pg:60 BB and it the hardest thing I have ever done Ilove AA


Member: Craig L
Location: Beaverton, OR
Date: 11/29/00
Time: 5:22:33 PM

Comments

I'm Craig and I'm an alcoholic! Thanks for the Great Topic. I’m still pretty new, so I still get on my knees every morning with the third step prayer. On the days I’ve skipped it, I found myself agitated a lot. I also kept/keep looking for that burning bush experience that will make everything crystal clear beyond a shadow of the doubts my ego keeps introducing. I absolutely know when I am dropping my conscious contact with God. I get “race brain” and anxious. My footwork, when that happens is to get to more meetings and talk with others about it. The person who disturbs me the most usually has the message I need to hear in order to find relief. I also try to review the step I’m working and see where I may be stuck. If I don’t find relief then I review the previous step and try and see where I have stopped practicing that one in my affairs. Some days I have backed all the way to step one. As long as I don’t drink or use then I know I am still able to receive Gods’ guidance, if I’ll just get out of my own way. I Thank all of you for sharing your recovery with me.


Member: brad
Location: salem oregon
Date: 11/29/00
Time: 5:33:56 PM

Comments

dont forget about salem oregon,home of the prisons!!!

brad


Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: 11/29/00
Time: 6:42:50 PM

Comments

To Lena T from Hall Beach, Nu. Or anyone who is unable for one reason or another to attend face to face AA meeings.

There is a properly registered and formally chaired AA meeting on line 24/7 Time is 9:30 pm eastern standard time.

This does not take the place of a regular face to face AA meeting. But it will do the job.

Bill az-bill@primenet.com


Member: bb
Location:
Date: 11/29/00
Time: 7:54:11 PM

Comments

lu-lu,

wwwwwhhhheeerrrreeee aaarrreeee yyyoouu?

bb


Member: For Lena
Location:
Date: 11/29/00
Time: 10:04:25 PM

Comments

Lena, hang in there. Visit recovery sites, read the big book, use your sponsor, and attend or start your own meeting!


Member: Jerry
Location: Florida
Date: 11/29/00
Time: 10:46:41 PM

Comments

Hi, I am Jerry, I am an alcoholic. my sobriety date is sept. 24, 2000. I ask for help in the morning. Say thank you at night. I try to do...the next right thing. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: LU-LU alcoholic/ALCOHOLIC/ ALCOHOLIC
Location: & president of the I LOVE LU-LU CLUB
Date: 11/29/00
Time: 11:39:10 PM

Comments

whats all this crap about have an "open mind,A.A.does not work, take a pill?,CURED IN 7 WEEKS?I don't get it. A.A. WORKS. why is there so much talk about that it does'nt.generally coming from people who won't embrace it.AND AS A RESULT CAN'T STAY SOBER.WHAT,do you think you are gonna "rescue" someone here? te he he rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed OUR path. notice path has no "s" that tells me that if i want what they got i need to follow thier path, the one they talk about in the book,the big book.not hazeltine,not treatment steps 1-5 not inner brat pscho-drama,etc.etc.who is this julie lady with the miracle cure in 7 short weeks,we all know A.A. is NOT the only way,to relieve the alcohol problem, but dam it,it sure does work,it works reeeeaaaalll good,and it has been working for a pretty long time. THIS IS AN A.A. SITE(i think) how 'bout all you geeks offering an "alternative solution" do your recruiting and selling of your goofy books elsewhere.please.


Member: Bill O.
Location: Lee's Summit
Date: 11/30/00
Time: 12:07:53 AM

Comments

My sobriety is dependent upon spiritual help. I quit forever all by myself many times. Today, I do not have to worry about forever, or even tommorrow. Only today, and that is not a problem. It has been quite a few just todays for me, and I am grateful to my higher power, who I choos to call God, for this. It all came about in the Third Step, which for me was a three-part experience. First, I came. Second, I came to. Finally, I came to believe. God brought me to AA and AA brought me to God. Thanks to God, and thanks to all fellow alkies who help me recover.


Member: Luke D.
Location: grudgingly trudging in Illinois
Date: 11/30/00
Time: 3:37:09 AM

Comments

Hi everybody, I'm an alcoholic and I am grateful. For me to be truly grateful I know that I have to accept my past and realize that every day in sobriety, as well as prior to, is a catylist toward my being able to enjoy tomorrow. I can relate to Heidi's slipping back to old habits. I read what she shared and was very impressed with the sincerity and depth of motive from which it came. When faced with my old self resurfacing, I find that I must slow down in order to redirect my spiritual self. If I don't check myself immediately I fear for what comes next. Sometimes I don't feel like being one of those "practicing their principles" people and am less motivated, but what usually happens when I ask God to lead guide and direct me, He will soon put someone in my path from whom I can learn. Letting me know that I must remain reachable and teachable.


Member: chad g
Location: MT
Date: 11/30/00
Time: 5:39:51 AM

Comments

Chad alcoholic drug addict criminal. When I pray I try to say thanks for what I have and don't have. Anything more would be trying to impose my will on god or another human being.Although it is hard not to ask for specific things when I am not in a good place. I am by no means perfect though at times I think so. The fact is I don't know whats good for me or anyone else,so I should leave up to someone who does. thanx


Member: htU
Location:
Date: 11/30/00
Time: 7:04:19 AM

Comments

Lu-LU seems to think that people will actually take her advice when everybody knows she hasn't worked the steps...


Member: Carol C
Location: New Jersey
Date: 11/30/00
Time: 7:40:29 AM

Comments

Good Morning, Carol Alcoholic. I'm dealing with a very potent reminder of what happens when someone forgets about a power greater than themselves. A good friend and my husbands boss relapsed last night. Talk about being brought back to the basics of the program. I have prayed not only for my own understanding but for my husband and for his boss. God's will is a good topic to be reading today. I really believe everything happens for a reason and his relapse is such a big reminder of how far I have come and how sneaky this disease can be.

Please keep this man in your thoughts and prayers. He's lost and in the middle of what we all fear.

Thank you for letting me share.


Member: Edie R.
Location: S.C.
Date: 11/30/00
Time: 10:57:37 AM

Comments

Hello Everybody, I'm Edie, an alcoholic. Thanks for the topic, Bob, a good one.

I try to keep it simple and I just say God have your will in my life and work through me. That usually does the trick for me. I believe that no matter how we word it, our prayers are heard and God knows what's in our hearts and exactly what it is that we are asking for.

Sure, I am human and I get back into self will run riot but I find I am getting to the point of turning it back over quicker than before.

Love and peace to all, Edie nanna12@infoave.net


Member: Kent W
Location: Houston, Tx
Date: 11/30/00
Time: 11:12:52 AM

Comments

Hi kent alcoholic here... I agree with LuLu. This is an AA site and there is no room for "alternative solutions". AA works for me because it got me back dealing with people, and life again. I don't have to isolate and go of by myself and drink. It is true that maybe some people can quit for a time without AA. If they be real alcholics though, they are gonna be miserable. Thanks for letting me share......


Member: DEAN
Location:
Date: 11/30/00
Time: 2:41:58 PM

Comments

htU,

=================0......

YOU KNOW WHERE TO PUT IT

DEAN


Member: Dan  S.
Location: Bryan,Ohio
Date: 11/30/00
Time: 3:01:29 PM

Comments

Hi, Dan S. here I to am a alcoholic. I believe that my "Higher Power" is on my side in fighting this war that we all are trying to win.All I can do is belive in him and in me! D


Member: miriam w
Location: maryland
Date: 11/30/00
Time: 3:27:01 PM

Comments

I think relapse can be GOD's will. Because taking that drink is a conscious decision and self will run riot. In my own experience relapse brought me back to this program after 8 years of being dry and thinking I was working a program. My first sobriety date was 10/23/88 my second is 2/2/2000 and the quality of my sobriety now far exceeds the quantity I thought I once had.


Member: Anonymous
Location:
Date: 11/30/00
Time: 3:37:08 PM

Comments

Refreshing to hear of someone who has knowledge of divine guidance. It is to you Bob that I speak hereof. To what then might I help you look to who seeks only for the knowledge of his will for us, and the power to carry that out? If it be so that you have entered into the area of obedience to the faith; you need not to pray for the knowledge of his will so much any longer, its yours now to follow. Leave the rest then, and set your face like flint to follow. Endevour to cease from your own wisdom and as it is spoken here, even your own prayers. We are not our own and know not what is expedient for us, and this we shall see if we quit trying to figure it out and resign ourselves to follow. What is this or that to thee, saith the lord, follow thou me. You have much yet of the old ways to relinquish, and this is the work of the spirit. Find out whats important anew by this following and you shall see in how many ways the world is vain and in how many areas the traditions of men are unnecessary. Ye must become a fool for Christ, and this comes about by following, because the way of the spirit is not in agreement with the ways of the world in many things. The offence of the cross is still in effect and so it shall be, that when by the spirit you walk contrary to the common order of things they'll no longer name you among them. Hence it is ye shall be a stranger and an alien and a pilgram, but one that is upright in the eyes of God rather than in the eyes of the world. Let God be true then, and every man a lier....


Member: Von
Location: Akron
Date: 11/30/00
Time: 4:02:55 PM

Comments

Thanks for the topic Bob from Salt Lake - one of the best so far...lots to think about. I had to read it twice until I finally could put my finger on what was bothering me. You write about "problems from self-will" and "losing contact with guidance from your HP"; Take it easy on yourself!!! Progress not perfection is the name of the game. If you are managing to experience a change in personality, have periods when you feel in real contact with your Higher Power, are trying to practice the principles in all your affairs; are practicing a daily program of sobriety and spirituality, and making a genuine effort to help another alcoholic, don't sweat the perfection. Perfectionism can be an asset, but it can also be a defect, and using (not possessing) our defects can block us from the sunlight of the spirit. Lighten up. Thank God that you are sober today, and you care enough to try to maintain contact. Go easy on yourself and take it one day at a time.

Gerry M from Lawrenceville, thanks for your comments. When I came into the rooms I was amazed to find out that alcoholics weren't only the bums under the park bench, that they came rich and poor, jobless and successful. Some drank periodically, some binged after many months of not drinking, and others like me were daily drinkers. I've learned that the one thing that brings us together and what helped me determine I was a real genuine alcoholic was "it's not how much you drank or how often, it's about what happens when you drink...you know, "slapping wives, calling 911 on yourself, talking about rare occassions and a couple of cocktails which were "several cocktails later" - according to the beginning of your comment. How about being "thankful for your control"? All I know is it's that way of thinking that tells me that I'm an alcoholic. Personality changes? Drink/trouble/drink/trouble....Then you "thank God for your control" -- hey buddy, if you have to control something, then it's already out of control...such as slapping your wife after a few cocktails?

Susan from Colorado, if you are "cured" why are you visiting an AA website? By the way, how long have you been dry? It is not enough for me just to stop drinking, but in order for me to be sober, not dry, I found AA's tough love program taught me how to handle sobriety. It helps me work the real problem which is me and my stinkin' thinkin'. Being the alcoholic I am, I had to learn to deal with life on life's terms. Today, since July 23, 1999, I have not had the need to use any mood or mind altering substance. So please don't try to sell something that will "make me feel amazing"!!! No offense taken. AA never fails people, people fail AA. God Bless you and keep you until then. In the meantime, keep coming back!!!


Member: rodriguez
Location:
Date: 11/30/00
Time: 7:00:18 PM

Comments

htU 's mama WAS a goat,


Member: Mark D
Location: NH
Date: 11/30/00
Time: 7:50:15 PM

Comments

In my young recovery the very best thing that has developed is my finding faith again. Every morning and night I have a very direct prayer session. Equal parts giving thanks and asking to be open toward His will. During the day, sometimes I recite an annotated Lord's Prayer that I made up.All I know is that when I do these things with my full attention and spirit, I feel more at peace and confident. Someone toward the beginning of this session mentioned that they can tell the difference from when they act according to God's will or self-will.I agree. I've started to feel that difference and my concsience will let me know it. However we shouldn't just feel that the self-will is the only manifestation of the self. When we choose to follow God's will, that is also an expression of the self. God will lead us and we certainly should thank Him for it- but it's us who do the legwork and decide to listen. That's woth a pat on the back. Thanks for listening.


Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: 11/30/00
Time: 9:50:12 PM

Comments

Hello Mirian from Maryland. I was born a Baltimoron. :)

Bill here, Alcoholic from Arizona and I have been sober ever since I knowed how.

Loosely quoted from Emmet Fox's "Sermon on the Mount" which incidently is one of the references Bill used to write the Big Book.

In part... Just as a rosebush cannot produce lilies, so God cannot cause or send anything but good. It is not His nature. There is also a quote from the Bible (another reference source for Bill W); "The same fountain cannot send forth both sweet and bitter water."

If we think that God has sent us our difficulties, then we are giving power to our troubles, making it very hard to get rid of them.

Bill az-bill@primenet.com email me a crab cake. LOL Yum


Member: Melissa W
Location:
Date: 11/30/00
Time: 11:37:40 PM

Comments

Praying for His will for me... in all honesty, I don't do that often. I am now just beginning to stop praying to God as if I'm writing a wish list to Santa. At this point in my sobriety, I have learned the oft painful lesson that if it is not of Him, it is usually a bumpy road. My goal is to be more connected to Him so that I know what that will is & I won't have to stumble into that will nor learn by negative consequences.


Member: Bridge K.
Location: Indiana
Date: 12/1/00
Time: 1:19:55 AM

Comments

Hi Family.I'm an alcoholic,and my problem is Bridge. This is the first time I've been to this type of meeting. I didn't realize that even at a cyber meeting the God of my understanding would hit me with a topic that I needed to "hear"! I've spent a great deal of the last few days discussing this topic with the "commitee" in my screwed up alcoholic brain.And I finally figured out that that was me trying to guide myself in my recovery instead of relying on H.P.....If I seek Gods will for me and actually pay attention to what He's "telling" me,,even my sick head can figure out that it's what I'm supposed to be doing. All I have to do today is not do a retro-third step. When I made a decision to turn my will(thoughts) and my life(actions) over to the care of God, as I understood him....I had the opporitunity to start a new life,,,,sober. And because my God loves me as much as he does, all I have to do is try to take over again,,,and he'll give it all back to me...the desire to drink, the conning, the lying, the cheating and all the other sick crap that this disease does "for" me when it has me in it's grasps. .....If I just don't drink,,,I just might drink!!! I have to do more than just quit drinking,,,I have to take action!!!


Member: Patrick
Location: Great White North
Date: 12/1/00
Time: 1:28:33 AM

Comments

Hello, My name is Patrick and I'm an addict ...

On the topic "praying only for knowledge of his will for me, and the power to carry that out". It can be very hard sometimes to distinquish his will for you when you are treading troubled waters. Currently an uncle of mine passed away, and I am attending his funeral this weekend. With all of the deaths in my family recently, it is enough to make me want to throw away all of my sobriety when you see the higher being take away so many good people in my life. But through prayer and meditation I have come to know his will for me and he has given me small rays of enlightenment to carry out his will. I must be strong and sober in order to comfort both my family and myself. I am able to do this by every day when I awake I thank the higher being for just purely being ALIVE !!! Carpe Diem (Sieze the Day) as though it were your last and take time to stand in awe of the beautiful planet we live on. I love to take time to go outside, take deep breathes and feel his power and energy course through me. It in a sense charges your energy fields and wipes out the stress and disappointment I may feel at that moment. I hope this tidbit of information will be benifical to someone, because it has allowed me to have a more positive attidude in dealing with my day to day issues of life, love, happiness, and sobriety ...


Member: LT
Location: WY
Date: 12/1/00
Time: 12:47:37 PM

Comments

Hi my name is LT and I'm a recovering Alcoholic. Prayed for Knowledge of His will for me and the power to carry it out.

This reminds me that I am powerless (especially to do good) , but He will give me the power. I tried to be sober and a goodie two shoes on my own , before coming to AA. But it wasn't until I got to AA that I realized that trying to be good using my own power was not working. I was miserable, judgemental, dis-satisifed, cocky, selfish etc. I drank when I wanted to, what I wanted to, hurt people for my own satisfaction all trying to achieve happiness in my life.

Upon total collapse and dispair, USING all of my resources (people, places, and things), SOMETHING (SOMEBODY) greater than me was able to step in and show me a better way of life. (There is a scripture that says "they were not hopeless" so they did not turn toward me) I have to be hopeless before I become willing. My higher power used AA to save my life. He knew just what I needed. I didn't, but because of where I was in life (hopeless) I had become willing (THANK GOD) to go to any lengths. Usually very painful lengths beyond my comfort zone. (By the way I thank Greg for his words). It took hard core AA to reach my core.

Today I am struggling with something. I feel scared and alone, but I know my Higher Power is with me and one day I will be on the other side looking back and understanding where I was. If I just don't pick up that first drink I'll get to see beauty. Which just reminded me of my almost 7 year old daughter who I get the pleasure of partaking in her life and enjoying being part of it.... Ain't life grand!


Member: htU
Location: alphonsos house
Date: 12/1/00
Time: 12:53:36 PM

Comments

my name is htU, I have the aids virus and need your support.

htU


Member: David
Location: Kansas City
Date: 12/1/00
Time: 4:50:43 PM

Comments

Dave An Alcoholic. Just as Mary visited Elizabeth so too you are called to "visit" the needs of the poor the hungery the homeless those who are alone or ill. for example those suffering from AIDS. You are called to stand up for life! To respect and defend the mystery of life always and every where including the lives of the unborn babies giving real help and encouragement to mothers in difficult situations You are called to work and pray againts abortion against violence of all kinds including the violence done against women and children's dignity through pornography. Stand up for life of the aged and the handicaped against attempts to promote assisted suicide and euthanasia Stand up for marriage and family life! Stand up for purity! Resist the pressures and temptations of a world that too often tries to ignore a most fundamental truth: that every life is a gift from God our Creator, and that we must give an account to God of how we use it either for good or evil.NY


Member: Norm P
Location: Indiana
Date: 12/1/00
Time: 10:36:03 PM

Comments

What is God's will for me? The only thing I am sure of is He doesn't want me to drink. But if I really want to,He won't stop me. He is a God of free will;He does not want a collection of slaves or robots. What would doing His will mean if we had no choice? Nothing,really. Most of the time,I don't know what His will is and it can drive me nuts if I let it. I want answers RIGHT NOW! He doesn't work that way. It teaches me patience and trust. His way and His time is always better than my way and my timetable. I probably wouldn't learn anything if it wasn't like that. Sometimes,my prayers aren't answered at all and I have an idea as to why. I'm probably trying to get what I want my way. I may not realize it but He can see right through me when I can't. He knows what is good for me and I don't.


Member: D B
Location: kc
Date: 12/1/00
Time: 11:29:37 PM

Comments

Hey Norm the Pope made that speech. It was and is to heavy for me also sorry


Member: jenifer d
Location: england swings
Date: 12/2/00
Time: 12:03:21 AM

Comments

To Patrick. The Great White North. Thanks. That was helpfull to me. I needed to hear that right about now.


Member: Norm P
Location: Indiana
Date: 12/2/00
Time: 11:05:13 AM

Comments

Oh,my God! I stole from the Pope?I didn't mean to do that. I don't pay even pay attention to him. I hope he will forgive me. I'm scared to death now. What's going to happen to me? Will I be sued? Am I going to burn in hell for this? If anyone knows for sure,please e-mail me at: Not2Brite1@hotmail.com I'm not going to drink over it.


Member: lu-lu
Location: head angel
Date: 12/2/00
Time: 2:15:17 PM

Comments

i talked to the pope yesterday he said he was not happy about this at all.

lu-lu


Member: DB
Location: Indep.
Date: 12/2/00
Time: 3:02:48 PM

Comments

well lu lu that is funny and i just got a revelation and taht is something Bill wrote in his story about having fun but also serious program because we have a serious disease. Fatal in nature but 11th step says use what relion offers and i go to the top for this it is the rock just like dr. bob is our rock if bill did not find that rock we would still be drunk and with us to drink is to die God Bless!


Member: lu-lu
Location:
Date: 12/2/00
Time: 3:31:22 PM

Comments

db,

i am a pretty funny girl,my momma says its because i have such large breasts.

lu-lu


Member: Nor D.
Location: Indiana
Date: 12/2/00
Time: 5:51:31 PM

Comments

Hi, My name is Nor, and I am an alcoholic. I have been told of this site, and invited to come see it. This is my first time here. I understand the topic is God's Will For Me. I don't always know exactly what that is, but I do not it is not to be hateful, purposely hurt or harm others, or get into power struggles. I am not sure I will come back, cause I believe what the book tells me that "love and tolerance" is our code, that we must pray for and practice patience on a daily basis. Thank you all for being here, and hopefully helping the still suffering alcoholic.


Member: SeMiGoD
Location: ND
Date: 12/2/00
Time: 8:01:41 PM

Comments

HI my name is SeMiGoD...im new to the site...im NOT used to this format of communication. I was expecting live chat. But anyway...ive been sober about a year now and plan to keep this way. Im in treatment aftercare as i am court ordered but otherwise i wouldnt do it on my own. Im comfortable in being sober because all i need to do is think of my drunken past,all the things that have happened to me and all the things ive done. Im NOT a religious man by any means...dont go to church dont pray or any of the attached. Im just a man with a goal...staying sober and i feel im the only 1 that can do that. Thats all for now and ill check back to this site soon.Thank you all for hearing me on my first visit here.


Member: Michael A.
Location: VA
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 12:05:03 AM

Comments

I'm so glad to find all of you. Found sobriety thru AA many years ago, then I walked away. I am sorry to say I relapsed and it went on for some years more. I'm starting over with God's help and the love and help of people like you. I need your prayers and your guidance, I know that my only chance at sobriety is My Higher Power working in me and thru you. I love you all.


Member: htU
Location:
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 12:07:12 AM

Comments

I would like to dicuss Dean's sexual problem with small furry rodents.


Member: JOSE
Location:
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 12:53:38 AM

Comments

HTU,

ARE YOU COMING TO THE FRISCO FROLICS WITH ME THIS YEAR??

JOSE


Member: Nara
Location:
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 1:52:22 AM

Comments

LU-LU Thanks for all the advise you gave me last week. It really helped. I now look at what I'm going through as a growing experience, not the end of the world.

Another thing, screw the people saying that you don't work the steps or work this program. As long as you work the program to the best of YOUR ability, then you are doing what you are suppose to do. It might not be what other people think is the right way, but it's kept you sober for this long right?


Member: ChuckM
Location: Alberta
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 3:57:08 AM

Comments

I'm Chuck, an alcoholic

On page 133 of the Big Book it tells me God's will for me is to be Happy, Joyous and Free.

To get there I need to be changed but how? He has set out a plan if I want it.

At step 3 His will [directions] is to do the rest of the steps. It is after step 9 that my mind starts to be rational. If I am rational I have a chance of being spiritual.

Step 11 is the daily spiritual program, I am to concentrate on God so that I will do His will. His will now [directions] is to do step 12.

By trying to carry the message and practicing these principles [ 12 steps] I suddenly realized I was happy [thinking of other people first], free of the corrosive negative thoughts and feelings.

I am not sure of the meaning of joyousness but I will settle for the peace and serenity I now have. Try it it might work for you too.

Peace and Serenity


Member: Katy R
Location:
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 8:09:52 AM

Comments

His will? All the time? What about my will?


Member: peter d.
Location: australia
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 9:09:42 AM

Comments

his will for me is to accept his will ...no matter what...no questions asked...in other words to have faith in him because it dosent matter how bad WE might think something is ...he will never ever give us something that we cannot handle... im sober today ...i never want to change that but recently i have caused myself so much pain and upset i started the "stinkin thinkin" again and even contemplated a drink because i convinced myself that i was MISSING OUT... what nonsense...i have been in this fellowship since 1978 ...thats 22years ...with 17years soberity..and i wanted to take it all back...how ungrateful can i get...i have accepted that im an alcoholic ...i dont want to drink and i must accept "his will for me "...no matter what, otherwise i might just take that drink...next time...remember the words ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE... thanks for being here this has been my first time on here. i really want to get some addresses too so that i can share and develop on line friendships...any body willing to shake my hand? peter


Member: Michael A.
Location: Virginia, USA
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 9:33:34 AM

Comments

Hi Peter, Michael A. from Virginia, USA here. I too would enjoy sharing some cyber-sobriety with you. This will be a great asset to us as recovering alcoholics, not trying to take your inventory but I am proud to say I am one, by the grace of God. My email address is; arnoldphoto@kimbanet.com

feel free to write! Thanks for sharing with all of us. Michael A.,.... greatful recovering alcoholic


Member: DB
Location: INDEP
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 1:04:28 PM

Comments

lu lu db here at Camelback1@prodigy.net


Member: jose
Location:
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 1:44:41 PM

Comments

htU,

you will always be my "special" little drag queen.

jose


Member: Rick
Location: Texas
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 2:10:54 PM

Comments

I believe that God has put a place in the heart of every human being that can only be filled by a spiritual relationship with Him. When I ignore the longing of that place, or try to numb it through alcohol, I eventually find myself in a terrible and desolate state of being.

I have always been taught that God shows me His will through His word - the Bible. I have found that when I read His word, and sincerely try to understand and apply the message He has for me, my will automatically begins to become in tune with His will for me.

I have found that in order to stay focused and committed to God's will, I need other people in my life that have the same goal. Without the support and fellowship of others, I eventually lose sight of His will and begin to slip into my old habits, negative mind-set and attitude.

Thankyou all for being a part of that fellowship.


Member: 0b4
Location:
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 3:35:14 PM

Comments

htu screams like a woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

te-he-he


Member: Be quiet
Location:
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 4:21:03 PM

Comments

Shhhhhhh!! Listen for God's good words for you today. God is there if you will take the time to listen.


Member: DB
Location: kc
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 4:53:54 PM

Comments

The Good of all becomes the good of each one and the good of each one becomes the good of all.


Member: htU
Location:
Date: 12/3/00
Time: 5:26:19 PM

Comments

i need some cold hard cash for x-mas,i dont want to prostitute myself again.

htU