Member: Robin A
Location: Fl
Date: 11/18/2001
Time: 6:17:13 PM
Wow-I am the first one here!! Don't have a prepared topic...let me think for a second...
OK-how about "Sitting on your Laurels?" Getting too comfortable just going day to day without worrying about drinking; for a change. I know that I have been slacking big time-I still do my meetings-at least 3 a week, and I do what service work my schedule allows for...
but I cannot remember the last time I actually prayed; got on my knees, read the big book without being at my regular friday big book meeting (at least I do that), or even thought about taking time for ME.
I guess my question is: Am I setting myself up for a relapse if I don't get "Back to the Basics" of AA? Being only 2 years, 8 months sober I have been thinking this is what will happen if I don't get doing what I know I need to do. Have thought it alot-but haven't done a damn thing about it (duh!!)
Feedback welcome
Member: Donnie M (DOS 3-1-99)
Location: Short Gap, W.Va
Date: 11/18/2001
Time: 6:24:14 PM
Hi, to all I am Donnie and I am a alcoholic. I been thinking about this topic and it went well with my home group. Drunk dreams do they happen to you and do they seem to real when they happen. I have had maybe a dozen or so in my couple of years clean and let me tell you I always end up sitting on the edge of the bed thinking what in the hell did you do. I mean I have tasted and smelled the booze. But for the grace of God it has just been dreams. I don`t know if I am doing something wrong or is my crazy brain trying to tell me that I could drink again safely. I don`t know what you would call it, but when it happens to me I am sure glad that it is just a dream. That is all I have on that, so to the newcomers you are not alone and it is not easy to stay sober but it is the best thing you will ever do. I would like to say a prayer for a the victims and the families in New York, Washington,and PA. and hope for the people in the service to return safely and GOD BLESS TO ALL AND THANK YOU.
Member: Donnie M (DOS 3-1-99)
Location: Short Gap, W.Va
Date: 11/18/2001
Time: 6:49:42 PM
HEY ROBIN WE MUST HAVE BEEN TYPING AT THE SAME TIME SO TO ALL PLEASE USE HER TOPIC.
For me if I sit on my butt and do not attend meetings or try to help another alcoholic I get that stinkin` thinkin` going and before you not I am miserable and every body around me is just as bad. so thank`s again and GOD BLESS TO ALL AGAIN.
Member: Matt S.
Location: western Ohio
Date: 11/18/2001
Time: 7:08:28 PM
I've been sober for 48 hours again.I was c&s for 2 years before the last 18 month binge.Many dreams of using,and a lot of butt sitting before the binge,I got complacent,and it bit me in the ass..Tomorrow morning I go back into treatment.I've lost the concept of one day at a time. My higher power is still there or I wouldn't be going.Time to let go and let God.
Member: Matt S.
Location: western Ohio
Date: 11/18/2001
Time: 7:08:56 PM
I've been sober for 48 hours again.I was c&s for 2 years before the last 18 month binge.Many dreams of using,and a lot of butt sitting before the binge,I got complacent,and it bit me in the ass..Tomorrow morning I go back into treatment.I've lost the concept of one day at a time. My higher power is still there or I wouldn't be going.Time to let go and let God.
Member: JD
Location: OHIO
Date: 11/18/2001
Time: 7:11:56 PM
It's when I get comfortable and everything is going smooth that I have to be aware and watch out for those signs that have become more obvious to me since I have admitted I'm an alcoholic,so I don't slip.Does anyone have any advice on how they deal with their thoughts about taking that first drink when they start creeping into your head? I was sober 7 days before my slip.I'm back on it again now, by the grace of God hopefully for good.
Member: KEN W
Location: NSW AUSTRALIA
Date: 11/18/2001
Time: 7:26:16 PM
HI TO ALL, MY NAME IS KEN AND I AM AN ALCOHOLIC,I HAVE NOW BEEN SOBER FOR 3,1/2 YEARS,I OWE THIS TO AT LEAST 3 MEETINGS A WEEK,AND TO PRACTICE THE PROGRAM ON A DAILY BASIS,THIS INCLUDES MY DAILY MEDITATION AND PRAYERS,AND READING 24HR, A DAY. I LOVE MY LIFE TODAY AND HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE HAPPIER,I HAVE A FEW GOOD FRIENDS IN A.A. NOT LIKE I HAD BEFORE A.A. I LIKE TO DO TOPIC AND 12 STEP MEETINGS, BUT DO NOT GO TO ID MEETINGS VERY MUCH, I BELIEVE THAT IF YOU LIVE IN THE PAST THEN THAT IS YOUR FUTURE ALSO, SO I LIKE TO CONTIUALLY GROW IN MY SOBERITY THANK FOR THIS SITE.
Member: Adam H.
Location: Nagano, JAPAN
Date: 11/18/2001
Time: 7:29:55 PM
Adam, alcoholic.
I remember the day someone I really respect in AA said at a meeting: "You can't coast UPHILL, ya know!" That was one of the coolest things I had ever heard! Think about it...when you're coasting while riding a bicycle, you're doing no work to keep moving and you're usually heading downhill, right?
Remembering that has been a big help to me in being wary of "resting on my laurels." I need AA to be here for me, even five years after my last drink...but it is only there for me when I DO THE WORK a day at a time to bring it into my life.
Grateful to be sober....and I'll keep on keepin' on.
Member: Robin A
Location: FL
Date: 11/18/2001
Time: 8:13:59 PM
Cool Adam-I will remember that as well-and Donnie thanks for being a gentleman-it was ok though-makes me wonder what happened to the posts I saw here a bit ago that were responding to you. Are you a secret Cyber Tech here! LOL!! We are very close in sobriety age~mine is 3/20/99
Member: Cindy H
Location: Ohio
Date: 11/18/2001
Time: 8:58:12 PM
I'm new to this, so please excuse the format or typos or anything else that might be illegible. I, too, was sober for almost two years, and then, I got too, busy ... I have a 3 1/2 year old and I became pregnant and now I have a 3 month old. Needless to say, I let it all get the best of me and now I am facing DUI charges for first time ever, plus I had the children in the car with me. I am more ashamed of that than anything else. I had not been to a meeting in over a year; I don't know if that is a lesson to be learned or what -- but I feel very lost. Yes, I am scared of what will happen as a consequence of what I did, but I am most grateful that nothing worse happened as a result of my very bad descions.
I'm scared and I don't know who to talk to except others in AA because my husband thinks I just need to be punished. I feel bad enough. I've never had a DUI before and dont' know what to expect; I know the laws in all states are different; I live in Ohio. Anyone have any words of wisdom?
Member: Kerry B 3/21/80
Location: Idaho
Date: 11/18/2001
Time: 9:19:07 PM
I'm Kerry, an alcoholic
This is only my experience.
In my great 20/20 hindsight, there were two reasons I did not stay sober when I was first introduced to the program. Biggest reason was that I was not totally convinced that I was an alcoholic (I had never tried "controlled" drinking prior) and secondly, probably because of that, I did not "personalize" the program.
It was most easy for me to worship people, places and things (heck, I'd been drinking for years behind what did and did not happen in my life), and not take an honest look within. Again, this is all in hindsight, because at the time I really did think I was doing what I was supposed to do, and being as honest as I could.
At 16 months "sober" the first time, I found myself very angry, I just so happened to be in front of a restaurant/cocktail lounge, and I made the choice to drink again. Most of the people in the meetings that I knew were shocked, rather than loving. You see, I was pretty "popular". That means I was full of BS! So, not only was I dissappointed in myself, I was also mostly "shunned" by my friends. We all had pretty much the same amount of time "sober" - I think it just scared the heck out of them. The reality of the denial/insanity of this disease smacked us all in the forehead.
Because the support that I thought would be there for me, was in fact not there, I copped a major resentment towards the people in the meetings. My question was how in the heck was I going to get sober again, considering I couldn't stand to be in the same room with sober alcoholics, because of my resentment. I knew I was in trouble, even as sick as I was.
Six months of staying dry, then drinking a beer only to raise my hand again nearly took me to the looney bin. I was laughing at stuff that wasn't funny on a regular basis.
One day the thought occured to me that if Bill W and Dr Bob could get and stay sober without having over 800 meetings a week available in their area, then just who the heck did I think I was that I couldn't? I knew I was not unique, those six months flipping in and out taught me that. I needed to find a way to stay sober without so much reliance on all the folks in the rooms, but learn to have reliance on the only thing that would keep me sober on a daily basis - a reliance on a power greater than myself.
I studied the book, found one person I trusted to guide me through the steps, and did them. Everyday I keep in mind steps 10,11 and 12. And apply them. Sometimes it seems that life just gets to hectic to even think of these things I need to do, but when I reflect back, I can always find something that happened in my life that day that I was able to apply the steps to.
I say thank you in the morning, and thank you at night for my sobriety - it is something I have done everyday for a long time, no matter what. Can't rest on my laurels to easily when I do that.
Thanks for being here
Member: Jennifer
Location:
Date: 11/18/2001
Time: 10:11:40 PM
Hi, I'm Jennifer--Alcoholic
I like the topic. Every time I become complacent I relapse. It is so stupid because I know that that is what happens but I continue to get lazy. I'm diagnosed ADHD-as a child and then again 5 years ago. So I get bored easily, lose interest and then since I have the "H" part (hyper) I'm a thrill seeker as well-not a good combination. I am a stay at home mom----need I say more? Just not enough for me when I am not working the program.
Cindy H, just wanted to say that I can relate to you. About three mos. after my first child was born my very worst drinking started. Here I was at home all the time with a collicky baby and a husband who's life didn't change in the least bit. I figured out that if I drank several glasses of wine every night I could handle things without the anxiety. That lasted exactly a year before I put myself into treatment. All I can say is just do what you need to do to cooperate with the officials re: your DUI. Do whatever they say, treatment, etc. Good Luck--I'll be praying and thinking of you.
Back to my complacency--over the past 9 mos. I have on and off been drinking. I really feel that the BIGGEST key to sobriety and working the program are going to meetings. Yesterday I went back to the meeting I had been going to before the relapse and a guy there (who thinks he need to be personally involved in every person's life there) Cam up to me after the meeting and started giving unsolicited advice and judgement. He said he felt me pain and said I wasn't taking anything seriously because I was laughing the whole time I talked almost. Actually, I was talking about my recent behavior and shaking my head and laughing at how totally ridiculous and INSANE my behavior has been. I laughed because I KNOW that I'm an alcoholic. I KNOW that each and every thing I've been doing is totally wrong. I don't even try to justify. But yet, something inside me keeps making me do them. Stupid!!!!! Anyway he basically told me that I should take things more seriously. Since I have quite a bit of anger inside me I told him that he was totally out of line---AA is suppose to be a place that you can be yourself and talk freely and that he was judging me. I said that that is how I deal with things. I could choose to sit in a dark room and cry all day or I can go to a meeting and nervously tell everyone what I've been doing. I went to my old meeting because there would be accountability there because they knew me. It was my first meeting back in 9 mos. and the whole thing left me with a bad taste in my mouth. I'm not strong enough yet to be able to let everything go and I got totally defensive and I felt that it took all the benefit out of the meeting for me. Now I fell like I have to watch what I say next time.
Whatever, I just needed to get that out--event though most of it didn't pertain to the topic.
Thank you all for listening and being here. This is a good thing, this website. Soooooooo available!!
Thanks again and take care everyone!
Jennifer
Member: Linda
Location: OH
Date: 11/18/2001
Time: 10:31:45 PM
Jennifer it has been my experience that when somebody says something to me that I find offensive it's because there is some truth in it. And remember,that not all people in the program are healthy.
Member: CG
Location: Southwest US
Date: 11/18/2001
Time: 10:56:22 PM
Hi! I'm CG and I'm an alcoholic. Funny thing about me. I can find myself resenting having to do things every day or every week [chaotic personality here]. I don't like taking meds or vitamins because it's required. Having to pray every night and morning drives me nuts. I don't resent coming to God with thanks for all the wonderful people and things in my life. And I'm a hundred times grateful for my sobriety. I'm just one of those people that can't sit in one spot. Have to be doing something all the time and two or three things at once. The idea of having to go to meetings on a regular basis FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?!!? was off putting. …But the alternative was even worse! I was going past being the village idiot when I drank to being a danger to myself [ever wake up and say, "Why did I DO that?!"]
I had to do the Steps and practice these things in my life on a daily basis, every day. I think I resented HAVING to do something. Don't you wonder why a dented brain would resent having to take medicine to get well. Or just to practice these principals in our daily life to avoid doing the things that might make us unhappy -or dead! I think it made me resentful because I was not in control. Someone else said, you have to do these things on a regular basis or you have the chance of going back to your old lifestyle [boozer].
I'll tell you though. When I finally had to admit I was not in control of anything I was given great relief. I like going to meetings. I take my pills [it's better than being crippled in the future], I have a pleasant outlook on life, and the tools to deal with it when it's not so pleasant.
When I have the urge to drink I was told to pray, talk to my sponsor or another alcoholic and get to a meeting. These now seem simple answers to potentially large problems.
That's the gift given to me by AA. The tools to live a good life - sober. Thank you for letting me share.
P.S. Whenever someone offers to take your inventory tell them "Thank you for your input," and walk away. Look at what they said with another who is impartial [like your sponsor]. Take what you need and let the rest go. If none of it fits you have no reason to be uncomfortable. [And it's possible that someday that other person will become enlightened and take care of his life.
Member: Hello, travelers
Location:
Date: 11/18/2001
Time: 11:11:02 PM
It's hell to be an alcoholic. I'm going to bed right now. I'm tired, and I've got to go to work in the morning. Love all alkeholics, we are a people with a big damned problem even if we haven't taken a drink in god knows how long, apparently. Wears me out.
Member: Hello, travelers
Location:
Date: 11/18/2001
Time: 11:12:37 PM
It's hell to be an alcoholic. I'm going to bed right now. I'm tired, and I've got to go to work in the morning. Love all alkeholics, we are a people with a big damned problem even if we haven't taken a drink in god knows how long, apparently. Wears me out.
Member: Theresa H.
Location: Florida
Date: 11/18/2001
Time: 11:34:22 PM
Theresa, Alcoholic....
This topic has me a little confused. I have been sober for two full weeks now. I have been going to f2f meetings and have met some nice people over the internet who have also given me guidence.
I don't know I guess I just hoped that there would come a day when I could be complacent. You know, when I wouldn't have to worry that I might drink again. I have heard of so many people relapsing lately, that quite frankly, it has me scared.
I mean do I have to live the rest of my life in constant fear of relasping?
Perhaps I am not making much sense. I am a little depressed this evening. My hubby left town for a business trip. It is my first time home alone since I got sober. I will be alone until Wednesday. I am new in this town, and only know my way to the grocery store and one AA meeting place. At least I have my dogs to keep me company.
Perhaps I will understand this topic more when I have been sober longer.
Member: MS
Location: Middle USA
Date: 11/18/2001
Time: 11:41:56 PM
Thank you GG for your "PS" about when someone offers to take your inventory to tell them "Thank you for your input", and walk away. I am so happy to hear about how a situation like that can be handled so simply.
Also, a thankyou to Jennifer for informing me of this web site. It has been a joy to read and feel like I've been to a meeting today when I couldn't get to one.
Member: Jeff DOS(3/10/89)
Location: Ne.
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 12:35:01 AM
Jeff & Alcoholic. Wow knew this topic would come up sooner or later.Easer, softer, way comes to mind.Rest on my laurels. It was`nt always this way for me.Early in soberiety i went too 2or3 meetings a day. Weekends maybe 4, heavy into service work,chairman for my group,group treasurer,helped w/PI work, been rotated into GSR more than once, then voted into DCM at four years sober.The inner workings of "AA" wow, I loved it give me more!!!Steps 4-10 worked em throughly more than once, SOBER from the first day (still) thank GOD! (hopped off soap box) Meat&potatoes AA all the gooood stuff!In the last 3 or 4 yrs been to maybe a couple a dozen meetings or so. Too tell you I really dont know why i`m still sober. I do not crave alcohol or beer, at all.When i got here i had no friends on wife,barely still had a job. Inside I had nothing.Service work filled the void in my life.Then one day over coffee with aa friends one said "well if you could tear yourself away from service work, maybe you would like to go fishing with us" dropped me with a feather. "WOW" you know there is other things to life.Since then AA slowed down alot too much i guess.I`m married now, happy with the way my life is going.Got a good job, nice home newer cars, a few bucks in my pocket.Somewhere in the big book it said,as a rule the alcoholic takes one of two routes, eather he goes head long into AA or into finances & neather is good, a balance in life is whats best.(something to that effect any way)Don`t get me wrong I dont have this type of balance but this would be my two cents worth. Big book Annie (local O.T.) told me one time "don`t get burned out" "Too much of a good thing is not good eather"Had no clue what she ment, now I do.(love ya annie)One thing I can say is I still read AA literature, pray & medatate, talk to AA friends & my sponser (cant hide from em thats for sure)& I found you good people to share with & listen too. Thanks for being here. Jeff
Member: JR
Location: Newark Ohio
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 12:54:15 AM
Drunk Dream........and sitting on your lorals?I had drunk dreams and they scared me to death.They were so real.I would wake up thinking I blew it it would take a few seconds for me to realize that I was dreaming and that I was still sober.An Old timer told me to pray about them,another told me to enjoy them?!?!I prayed that My higher power would take them from me ,and he did(ty God).Sitting on your lorals...........I did that........and then I got drunk.Now I'm sober and try to work the program as hard as I drank.If I had to stand in a corner on my head to stay sober....guess what? there'd be a middle aged fat woman standing on her head.When things start to get to comfortable for me.........I go to a meeting.
Member: Jen M
Location: Oylimpia WA
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 1:48:09 AM
Well i am 18 and have been sobar for about 23 months and i have the same problem at times. I go to meetings in the rehab that i am in and i like them but don't like them out in the regular meeting set up's and i worrie that this could lead to a relaps also? So i have prayed and prayed about it and feel that when i do sevice for others that that helps but i'm still not sure if i am going about this the wrong way?
Member: Jen M
Location: Oylimpia WA
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 1:48:43 AM
Well i am 18 and have been sobar for about 23 months and i have the same problem at times. I go to meetings in the rehab that i am in and i like them but don't like them out in the regular meeting set up's and i worrie that this could lead to a relaps also? So i have prayed and prayed about it and feel that when i do sevice for others that that helps but i'm still not sure if i am going about this the wrong way?
Member: Jen M
Location: Oylimpia WA
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 1:48:55 AM
Well i am 18 and have been sobar for about 23 months and i have the same problem at times. I go to meetings in the rehab that i am in and i like them but don't like them out in the regular meeting set up's and i worrie that this could lead to a relaps also? So i have prayed and prayed about it and feel that when i do sevice for others that that helps but i'm still not sure if i am going about this the wrong way?
Member: Kurt S.
Location: St. Louis, MO
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 2:40:58 AM
Hi I am Kurt and have been very confused lately. I am starting to doubt the fact whether I am a drunk. I have been sober 50 days and have no urge to drink and really haven't since I quit drinking. I do have the stinkin thinkin of a drunk and that is what I think keeps me coming back. How do you really know if you are an Alcoholic?!?
Member: Steve K
Location: Swan Lake,N.Y.
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 10:18:24 AM
Hi! Steve alcoholic. I have been sober one year one month. For you new people(not that I am not new). I heard a proverb the other day."IF YOU WANT TO TAKE A 1000 MILE JOURNEY YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE FIRST STEP". One day at a time. Good luck and GOD bless.
Member: JR
Location: Newark Ohio
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 10:18:53 AM
Sticken thinken'........been there done that.a Normal drinker like my sister doesn't think about drinking,not drinking or drinking.A normal drinker can't remember their last drink.When my sis buys a drink she drinks less then half.Alcohol in my sisters life has no place.if she was in a store that came over the loud specker screaming free beer.......my sister wouldn't hear it I'd have the van backed up to the door before the full anoncement was finished.She doesn't know if she has beer in her fridge.When I was drinking I knew how meny were in there what kind how much I paid for them how much money I had to buy more and what shelf they were on.Oh and the oz's in each also.My sister remembers the time she had 3 drinks and was sick for a week 30 years ago.I remember my first normal BM after getting sober.My sister asked why I had mugs in the freezer,While I worried if I had room in the fridge for all the beer I just bought.My sister came to my house to barrow a beer to wash her hair with,and left because the shocked look on my face scared her
.She has a family dinner, and fixes tons of food,but forgets the wine.I have a family dinner,forget to cook and was useually passed out before they get there if they show up.When my sister needed a bottle to mix her salad dressing in she knew to come to my house for the bottle.Beef burgandy to my sister is chunks of suckulent beef in a rich gravy......beef burgandy to me is cheep whiskey,and a piece of bar jerky. My sister's not an alcoholic,I am
Member: Steve K
Location: Swan Lake,N.Y.
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 10:19:10 AM
Hi! Steve alcoholic. I have been sober one year one month. For you new people(not that I am not new). I heard a proverb the other day."IF YOU WANT TO TAKE A 1000 MILE JOURNEY YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE FIRST STEP". One day at a time. Good luck and GOD bless.
Member: AnilG
Location: Mt Vernon,IL
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 10:46:48 AM
HI TO ALL, MY NAME IS ANILG AND I AM AN ALCOHOLIC,I HAVE NOW BEEN SOBER FOR 3,1/2 YEARS,I OWE THIS TO AT LEAST 3 MEETINGS A WEEK,AND TO PRACTICE THE PROGRAM ON A DAILY BASIS,THIS INCLUDES MY DAILY MEDITATION AND PRAYERS,AND READING 24HR, A DAY. I LOVE MY LIFE TODAY AND HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE HAPPIER,I HAVE A FEW GOOD FRIENDS IN A.A. NOT LIKE I HAD BEFORE A.A. I LIKE TO DO TOPIC AND 12 STEP MEETINGS, BUT DO NOT GO TO ID MEETINGS VERY MUCH, I BELIEVE THAT IF YOU LIVE IN THE PAST THEN THAT IS YOUR FUTURE ALSO, SO I LIKE TO CONTIUALLY GROW IN MY SOBERITY THANK FOR THIS SITE.
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Member: JD
Location: OHIO
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 11:17:22 AM
There's some good stuff here. Thanks to everyone for your input.I feel a sense of relief since I've admitted I'm an alcoholic.Got tired of trying to "control" it.What a joke that is.
Member: Gerald L.
Location: los angeles Ca.
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 12:19:52 PM
For Donnie M. I am over 19 years sober Iwent through a very good treatment center and was told about having drinking dreams. Iwas told that was part of staying sober for some people and that they stop. I had them off and on for about three years. Yes they are very real. I think that was the way my higher power had of keeping me on my toes. Keep working the program and go to meetings. This to shall pass.
Member: Rich
Location: Colorado
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 12:23:46 PM
((Theresa H)) I am only 5 days sober and don't trust anything I am thinking yet. This is something I heard at a meeting from a woman with 16 years sobriety. She said,
"I am as happy today as I have ever been in my life. I am working the program today more consistently than I have in my life. And I know I am as close to a drink as I have been at any time in my life."
I did not understand. How can you be sober that long and still be close to drinking? I also did understand why so many people at the meeting were still coming after being sober 5, 10 ,15, one guy was 35 years sober! I still don't understand but I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE! I am sober 5 days and I see changes already. Instead of being frustrated that I got drunk and didn't help with the kids and going to bed resentful, my wife giggled in bed last night and gave me a kiss.
I think once we have more time it will be less about FEAR OF RELAPSE, as it is now for us, and more about UNDERSTANING THE PROBLEM and how to live with the desease.
Trying my best to work the program on a beautiful snowy day in Boulder. The flatirons look as if they have be dusted with powdered sugar. Thanks God.
Member: Pete F.
Location: Indiana
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 1:00:38 PM
Dear Friends, Ive been sober for over 20 yrs. I like to have fun in my ongoing sobriety. I think it's perfectly o.k. to "stop and smell the flowers". The gifts I have recieved in sobriety are happiness, joy, serenity, and freedom! I also am a strong advocate for outside help. I hope that every alcoholic gets a chance to experince true serenity. Its wonderful.
Member: to Cindy in Ohio
Location: Indiana
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 1:05:37 PM
Hi i'm Tammy and an alcoholic, this is to cindy, from Ohio, just remember this is part of this fucking disease, All we are responsible is for our recovery, and u just being determined and get the support u need from f 2 f meetings. Ur husband may or may not come around but dont let the guilt eat up, because it has me. You'll be okay, If u have yahoo or e-mail , mines blonde_moment@excite.com
Member: the4letterwords
Location:
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 3:32:20 PM
please don't use 4 letter words,heard them all before,don't need to hear them anymore
Member: Cindy B
Location: south
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 3:34:24 PM
I was + for pot in test. Since then, I have been forced to attend AA in order to keep my job. I really can't relate with you people. I don't believe in god and do not consider myself an addict. I am sick to death of pat phrases like "let go and let god" and "living life on lifes terms". I feel that I am going to go crazy if I have to do this much longer.
Member: Cindy B
Location: south
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 3:34:37 PM
I was + for pot in test. Since then, I have been forced to attend AA in order to keep my job. I really can't relate with you people. I don't believe in god and do not consider myself an addict. I am sick to death of pat phrases like "let go and let god" and "living life on lifes terms". I feel that I am going to go crazy if I have to do this much longer.
Member: RJ
Location: MN
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 3:37:34 PM
GET A LIFE EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CANCER IS A FUCKING DISEASE. ALCOHOLISM IS A CHOICE.
Member: JR
Location: Neawrk Ohio
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 4:03:30 PM
Cindy B......Most of the ppl that I see in meetings with court papers don't want to be there eather.......But your the first one I ever saw seek out an on-line AA group to say you don't like it........make's ya think.RJ...you have a right to what you believe.And I would stand up for you to have the right to believe what you want. But.......sence you don't believe as we do.......it seems to me that you would just stay away and leave us be.Like I do when it comes to being certain faiths....I don't go to their temples/churches and scream they need to get a life because they are wrong.I just leave them be.they have a right as do we.And u.But it seems that what we stand for, or believe must really bather you, for you to seek us out to give us your feelings.We are a program of attraction rather then promotion,and if eather of you are being forced to attend AA meetings it sure is'nt AA thats doing that to you.Its the courts...they do that on their own.Maybe you should go complain to the judge.Its odd that both of you have a foundness for the F-word.I know that some of us did also in our drinking and useing days......but we grew out of that when we got clean and sober......make's you think..........huuuummmmmmmmm
Member: JR
Location: Newark ohio
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 4:08:51 PM
cidy b sorry...I saw the f-word in anothers post not yours,so please forgive me with including you in my statement for a foundness of such a word,again sorry.:)
Member: AZbill
Location: az-bill@mindspring.com
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 4:59:46 PM
Good morning to all. Bill here alcoholic from Sierra Vista, Arizona. Good topic Robin and one that needs to be addressed with the increasing rate of folks going back out. You seemed to have asked and answered the question in one breath.
I know that I had to step on every stepping stone along the way to get where I am today. But. if I forget, even for a moment, I could be right back at that bar drinking that half drink I left there some years ago and wondering how in the heck I got there.
I have to remember what it took for me to get here and I have to remember what it took to keep me here.
When I read the first post of the week my mind immediately when back to the basics. Meetings do not keep me sober. The only thing that stands between me and my next drink is a God of my understanding. However, God puts conditions on that. I must seek him. I did that merely by working Steps 4 through 9. Halfway through Step Nine ".....we will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we cannot do for ourselves."
I improve on that by praying and my morning meditation. My God understand short prayers so for the most part I used the Third Step prayer. It says it all.
Thank you all for being a part of my sobriey today
Hugs,
Bill
Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@Yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 5:27:39 PM
I have service commitments two nights a week, which I frequently feel too tired to do. My brain will always guide me to the “easier softer way”. When I do things my way, I stay home, gain weight and lay around watching TV for endless hours and letting those fears and resentments grow and take over my waking thoughts. It takes a huge amount of energy for me to overcome my own inertia, but guess what? When I ask God, I suddenly find myself doing the next right thing without effort. As long as I ask for guidance and then get out of the way. I’m terrified of taking another drink, but my faith is that God will never impel me to do that, so long as I remain spiritually fit and rely on God to provide me with a way to cope without getting loaded. I found and maintain a conscious contact with God following the12 steps. Welcome newcomers, all you have to change is Everything.
Member: jm
Location:
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 7:10:54 PM
Dear RJ of MN i am an 18 year old girl who has a good head an her sholders i am going to college and if you just looked at me you would have never guessed that i two years ago was at my bottem i was into drugs that included all that you can think of and i drank and drank like thier was no tomarrow now you may not be an alcohlic but i am and it is some thing that you can not get rid of just like cancer you don't see someone with cancer get up and say HAY GO AWAY and it dose i somtimes wish i could do that and be NORMAL like other kids my age but i can't because i am an alcholic and i can't change that!!! but i can live everyday as it was the first and be happy and that is what i would do if i had cancer.
Also i would like to know if amyone had some comments on weather this AA meetings online is as affected as the ones that you go to in person?????????
Member: CG again
Location: Southwest US
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 9:24:15 PM
Being an alcoholic is not a choice. What you do to correct the problem is. That's why there's AA. Smiles! CG
Member: Screaming at people doesn't work
Location:
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 9:39:51 PM
FUNNY FUNNY - NOT ALL PEOPLE IN THE PROGRAM ARE HEALTHY.
NOT KNOCKING THE PROGRAM, OR LONGTERM SOBRIETY, BUT NOT ALL PEOPLE WITH LONG TERM SOBRIEETY (SUPPOSED TO BE SPONSER MATERIAL) ARE HEALTHY.
WHY DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE TO KEEP THINKING FOR YOURSELF?
Member: Pamela W
Location: Alabama
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 9:52:09 PM
Hi I'm Pam alcoholic. It is easy for me to rest on my laurels because I become so comfortable that I just want to stay where I am. Then in turn I become afraid to go forward and make changes because I know down that road is another defect waiting for me to face and pain to walk through and I'm scared because it will likely hurt me. Yet I have learned walking through that pain will allow me to heal and be stronger but the hardest part for me is just to keep walking forward and not stopping when I'm comfortable. Soberity is change and change is growth but sometime I hide in my laurels.
Member: RJ
Location: MN
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 10:03:02 PM
Man, not one post is without multiple misspelled words. What an illiterate bunch. (You can obtain dictionaries at any book store)
Member: Dan H.
Location: Henderson/LV,NV
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 10:03:59 PM
Hi my name's Dan and I'm an alcoholic. Resting on my laurels, to me means not working my program to the best of my ability. For that matter, not doing anything in life to the best of my ability. When that happens I know my recovery, or anything else, is in trouble. It is important to me to Trust God, clean house and help others. I've had some pretty intense drunk dreams. At 13 months sober, they are getting less and less. I learned early on that it is normal for us to have those kind of dreams. I've actually done some dream study and learned that dreams come from the sub-Conscious part of the brain. The part that remembers the learned behaivors. For 11 out of 25 years drinking was a behaivor for me. I'm grateful to be sober today and God Bless all.
Member: Pam D.
Location: Anaheim, CA
Date: 11/19/2001
Time: 10:09:17 PM
Hey all, My two cents, for what it's worth, is that there is a time for everything. Early in sobriety (anytime before about 5 years in my opinion) a lot of changes need to be made and new habits need to be built up. Later in sobriety, living becomes the focus.
When I was new to sobriety, I had to learn a lot of things. I went to at least 2 meetings a day, with more on weekends. I read the big book over and over again. Finished my steps in under 6 months...not necessarily throughly -- but it kept me sober and taught me a lot. (Including what I wanted to avoid in sobriety.)
After about 4 years, I went to 3-4 meetings a week, but was working full time again and supporting myself. I was becoming a "productive member of society." I went to a lot more "fun" activities, learned to meet some of the goals I had set for myself, and went back to college.
At 10 years of sobriety, I got sick of listening to people stuck in the problem, and I moved to another area. Meetings were different and not appealing to me. I got very busy with my life -- marriage, baby, master's degree. I still read the Grapevine & talked to long time sober friends on a regular basis and went to about a meeting a month.
Now, at nearly 17 years sober, I find that I do coast more. I'm dealing with different things now -- not so much having to do with getting and staying sober, but the business of sober living - with an emphasis on living. I go to about 6 meetings a year. It's enough to keep me focused with the Grapevine and a few Internet friends.
Not everyone who stops going to meetings gets drunk. But, I had to use the tools of the program throughly in my early sobriety. By about 5 years, I could see (or my friends would gently point out) when I was off course, and I could make corrections in smaller increments.
So, it depends. As my grandmother used to say, Everything in moderation, including moderation.
Member: Shakey
Location: Drunk
Date: 11/20/2001
Time: 1:46:56 AM
hey rj mn WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM A BUNCH OF DRUNKS? KRIT-A-CIZ-UM? Give us a break, some still shake?
Member: Brenda W.
Location: Northern California
Date: 11/20/2001
Time: 2:08:53 AM
Brenda, alcoholic. I've got five years sober and haven't been going to meetings regularly for about three of them. I got married and had a baby and relocated. I was away from my AA friends and trying to make friends who I wouldn't be worried about having around my kid (let's face it, the majority of AA's, although making great progress, are not role models you want to have around, smoking and swearing and rife with defects of character) If that is snobbish, so be it. My mother exposed me to all kinds of partying people and I grew to think that was what I wanted to be when I grew up. I don't want my son thinking he wants to be an "ex-alcoholic" when he grows up. So I've tried the whole religion thing (pretty wild for a person who used to be a vehement agnostic)and found it to be beneficial in some ways, but I miss the community of AA where I felt I could be real with people.
I do go through rough times sometimes. Watched "When a Man Loves a Woman" last night and it kind of pissed me off. I mean, in some ways I miss being drunk or being in early sobriety as an explanation for why I was so messed up. I miss thinking "Wow, there is a reason and a solution and everything is going to be all right". Because nowadays, I get feeling crazy and maybe there is no explanation other than that I'm crazy. To me, being an alcoholic means I can't drink like normal people, not that I can't be like a normal person if I am sober).
I guess I have a question. Other than having the compulsion and the craving, are there other ways you think we're crazy that are not related to alcohol per se, that can be helped with AA meetings? Does that make sense?
Just a couple of responses to some folks above. Kurt: I wondered in the beginning about that too because I didn't have really bad cravings. I thought maybe I could take it or leave it. Then I looked at my history and saw how much alcohol had screwed up my life and realized that if any one of those incidents had happened to a "normal" person, they would have said, wow, that doesn't work, and never gotten drunk again. Not me. I had to just try it again and again. If you're not an alcoholic and you've had trouble with alcohol, it makes sense to never do it again. If you are an alcoholic you'll probably want to rationalize doing it again. Either way, the answer is to quit drinking.
RJ: What are your motives for your inflammatory posts? It seems to be you are trying to shame people. THATS an f'en choice, and one I suggest you look into.
Member: vince t
Location: Bristol England
Date: 11/20/2001
Time: 2:28:06 AM
HI, VINCE AN ALCOHOLIC.EARLY MORNING HERE IN ENGLAND.I CAN'T SLEEP,BEEN ANGRY RESENTFUL OF LATE.BEEN RESTING ON MY LAURELS A BIT...I THANK MY H/P THAT I REALISE THIS.CONTINUAL CHANGE AND REGULAR INVENTORIES WILL PUT ME BACK TO SOME STATE OF SANITY.I THINK I NEED TO LIGHTEN UP, AFTER ALL SOBRIETY CAN BE FUN..? I HAVE ALWAYS PUT MY SOBRIETY AS MY TOP PRIORITY,BUT I THINK MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY H/P IS MORE IMPORTANT,ELSE MY SOBRIETY WOULD BE NON EXISTANT. GOD BLESS p/s How do you toast marsh mallows in America?they get all sticky and i can't get them out of the toaster.....
Member: Jack B.
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Date: 11/20/2001
Time: 2:37:44 AM
Hi, I am Jack, a real alcoholic. I attend A A meeting to remind me that I am an alcoholic and to participate in the recovery process. If I don't attend meetings, I begin to feel that maybe I don't need the rooms of A A and I try to live life on God's terms using the only way of living life I know without our twelve step program and thats by using bar stool mentality. I can honestly say that the only thing I got out of just not drinking was misery. Old saying life is life, joy is optional. The joy for me is living the program of A A and participating in the recovery process. I can live my life each day, one of two ways. 1.Don't pick up the first drink no matter what, trust God in all my affairs, help another alcoholic and see what happens. This is a great way to live. 2. Don't pick up the first drink no matter what,trust Jack in all my affairs and be totally miserable. I think I will opt for the first choice today. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless
Member: Tammy L
Location: N. Cal
Date: 11/20/2001
Time: 3:15:58 AM
Tammy, Alcoholic (10 years sober) I feel like all i have are lauerls to rely on at times. I work for a construction company and i move all the time. Now i am working 7 night's a week until Febuary. I have to remember what was told to me, and what i heard in meeting's that made since to me, to get me through this rough phase. I was in Minnesota for about 8 months and was not able to attend meeting's on a regular basis or make friends. And then i was off to my next project. At least i will be here for three years. I trust that there is good out of every bad. I believe in my God and pray like mad i don't get struck drunk! This is my first time in a chat room, but when i see your word's of wisdom- it is a comfort 1000 miles from home. Thank you, God Bless
Member: Bob
Location: MD
Date: 11/20/2001
Time: 5:47:49 AM
I am only 3 months sober, so I haven't had a chance to coast. Well, maybe that's not true, I'm kinda coasting now. I could get more involved in AA. I go to AA because it's part of my state mandated recovery program, but I take it seriously because, the longer I stay sober, the more I realize how bad I had gotten. Big bottles of booze consumed in my room alone, nights I woke up not knowing where I had left my vehicle, times I wondered whether I had paid my tab...
I shrugged all these things off until I rear ended a family 12 blocks from the bar I'd just left. Thank God no one was injured.
So it's fairly easy to not drink now. There's several reasons why I won't: The horific realization that I could have killed or hurt somone (first and foremost), I'm randomly tested, I'm on probation for a year, it happened such a short while ago that it scares me and the dust hasn't settled...
But I also hav come to realize I'm an alcoholic. I didn't see how bad I had gotten while I was still drinking but every day of sobriety brings a new memory of the stupid things I've done while drinking.
In 5 years maybe I'll say that was a different me, but I can't say that now. And, if I'm still sober, it will have been a different me.
So, yes, I don't drink because the judge told me not to drink. But everyday I'm sober, with each memory of the things I did when drunk, is more reason and motivation for me not to drink.
5 years down the road, once "this" is behind me, I think I'll need to remember just how bad I was in order to refrain from drinking again. I don't plan to beat myself over the head with this the rest of my life, but I think it would help to remember how bad it was.
So when the 35-year-sober AA member speaks this Saturday night, I guess I won't wonder why he tells the same old story or variations on it each week. I'll realize it's just something he has to do so it doesn't happen to him again.
Thanks for listening (reading).
Member: Ed G,
Location: Bryan
Date: 11/20/2001
Time: 6:41:10 AM
Hi I am Ed an alcoholic, I find myself unsettle when I miss a meeting it feels like I am missing something. At this time I turn to my higher powder for the strength I need untill I can make a meeting this seems to take the egde off. I work at it each and everyday. With the help of my family and my higher powder I find the will to contiune and not to quite. The though is till there but I have the strenght to know that I is not what I need. So I still take one day at a time.
Member: Mark J
Location: Arizona
Date: 11/20/2001
Time: 7:27:16 AM
Hi my name is Mark, an alcoholic... this is the first time for me on any AA online meeting of any type... I travel a lot especially outside of the US and have been missing too many meetings... this is the perfect topic choice for me as I have gotten pretty complacent about my program.... have been sober for 9 years but am probably closer to a drink than I've been for a long while... no cravings but a lot of drunk dreams, stinking thinking, angers and resentments, and a lot of taking the 'easier softer way' when it comes to working various aspects of the Program. I like the remark someone wrote here about "You can't coast uphill"... Very similar to a comment I've been thinking of a lot to knock me out of my complacency... 'you're [actions / behavior are] either moving towards or away from the next drink'... to make this even more real for myself, i've started evaluating my actions/ behavior on a daily basis using this line... eg if i went to a meeting than i moved a bit further away... if i called another alcoholic, a little bit more... or the other way around, if i just didn't make it to the meeting i'd planned to attend, etc... or i'm indulging a resentment/ anger binge without starting to work on it, than i'm getting closer to that place i don't want to go.
Member: Laura
Location:
Date: 11/20/2001
Time: 10:27:47 AM
Good morning everyone, laura here and glad to have woken up sober for today. I have been battling with this disease for 8 months now. I just didn't get it, I thought just abstaining from drinking and going to a few meetings was the answer- then the meetings became less frequent and I thought I could do it on my own and be more powerful than alcohol. Well that sent me back out 5 times in 6 months and I ended up in rehab again. I finally realized I could not do this alone and surrendered to my higher power, opened up the big book & started reading from pg 1(not just the stories) and getting to a meeting every day. I love my meetings now and I do them for me. I am a stay at home mom of 3 young children and in the beginning was doing it for them, my husband, my parents, etc. everyone but me. I woke up finally and realized you have to want this for yourself, and I love being selfish in my recovery now. I love this site and appreciate (almost) everyone's comments. JR from ohio-can totally relate with the non alcoholic sibling thing- great insight and thanks for making me laugh! Keep commenting! Cindy H.- I can totally realate to what you're going through- it's very difficult but try to start focusing some time for yourself. As a wife and a mom you're probably a "people pleaser" and doing everything for everyone, and losing yourself in the process. At least that's how I felt and then I would put the kids to bed and go to the laundry room and suck down some vodka to escape the day. Now I go out to a meeting every night, even if I go late because my husband can't get home in time, but at least I make some time for myself. I am much happier and now even though my house is a mess, the laundry isn't done or the bathroom clean, I am sober for me, happy for me, and better for my kids. I am not doing this for them only, but they are a great motivating factor. I will pray for you and hope all works out ok with the dui. I don't know if you have been in re-hab, but it might be very beneficial. I got away from my everyday craziness and was able to think for myself and not have to "do" for anyone but myself for 21 days. I learned alot about this disease and gained many tools and coping strategies too! God bless
Member: JR
Location: Newark Ohio
Date: 11/20/2001
Time: 10:31:32 AM
My name is Jackie and I'm an alcoholic.......I see some of you talking about how meny meetings you go to in a week or day.I sometimes go to 4 meetings a day........but I'm new to sobriety. I think I'm replaceing my drinking with meetings.....if I am its a good replacement.I do so love meetings.Have an on-line sponsor and a f2f sponsor.I love the programe.
Member: Roy J
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Date: 11/20/2001
Time: 11:02:21 AM
Back at 90 days once again, I have been in and out of the program for years, for today I am done. I turned 28 in a detox and I never want to see the inside of one again. If anyone has any ideas that may help please Email me at royvjohnston@altavista.com
Member: John E
Location: NJ
Date: 11/20/2001
Time: 11:30:28 AM
Brenda W,
I may have similar story to some degree. Sober in 86 married in 89, went meetings from 86 through 89.
Rested on laurels and really wanted to get away from the personalities of AA and didn't want to confuse my marriage or my future son's life with all the B.S. of AA.
We had a baby in 92, drank in 93, fears, anger and character defects overtook me and with no one and absolutely no Higher POWER to help me through, it I drank in 95, started occasional sneak drinking and white knuckling until 99. Drank everyday there-after until three weeks ago, when I re-enterd AA.
It is very different now and I feel much more comfortable. I realize now that I became a dry drunk and pushed everyone away, the result was inevitable, it was really only a matter of time.
John E.
Member: ce - dos 5/2/82
Location: southeast
Date: 11/20/2001
Time: 11:35:24 AM
HELLO - ce - alcoholic - my experience THERE ARE NO SHORT CUTS TO SOBRIETY FOR THIS DRUNK - I HAD TO LEARN TO eat - sleep - breath & think AA 24/7 365 days a year - it is not something i do because it is a convent time for me - i do it over and over and at some point in time it will become a part of that little person inside of me who wants to live - then i can do because of the joy it gives me
this is not a I way to live - it is We - for me to get and stay sober it took and still takes each and ever one of you - at first i catch myself thinking (as i drove to a meeting) "boy oh boy you have played pure HELL this time - now the party is over forever" - always at the meeting someone would say something that would turn in the right direction - i have to have we in my life - the only thing i can do alone in my deep dark corner of hell is get me drunk
have never had a sober alcoholic who had gone to drink tell me the reason they did it was because - they had gone to too many meetings - worked the steps to much - spent to much time reading the big book - or any of the other things we are asked to do
thanks for being here love to all ce
Member: Chris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: 11/20/2001
Time: 12:38:01 PM
hi all--CHris here--I'm an alcoholic/addict/bulimic ...good topic...Resting on your Laurels and drinking dreams...I have also had drinking dreams...All I can say is that I am always SOOO realieved when I wake up and find out it is only a dream!!From what i have learned at my meetings , these dreams are normal, and that we should just take them in stride....As for resting on my laurels, I have been doing that and have just realized that I am on a downward spiral... My problem is that I procrastinate and do not want to take action when there is a difficult relational problem that I need to deal with. That does NOT help the relationship and actually HURTS it. I am now taking some action in a relational problem that could cause me to loose my brother , but it must be done. I have hurt someone else very dramatically over this. I cannot apologize to this person , because my real ammends is to take this action. My only hope is that my waiting to take this action has not hurt this relationship so much that It is irreparible. All I can do is turn it over to my Higher Power , who I call GOD, Jesus Christ, and put it in His hands. I try to trust in the fact that He can restore me to sanity. Have a great THANKSGIVING everyone...we all have so much to be thankful for in this program...and ,yes, let's remember the victums of Sept. 11 in our prayers.
Member: Rich
Location: Colorado
Date: 11/20/2001
Time: 1:23:19 PM
((RJ in MN)) go easy on yourself man! My experience is that folks who are hard on others are even harder on themselves... and that hurt people hurt people.
Mark Twain said, "Anyone who can't spell a word at least two ways has no imagination." (or something like that) So I think we have either very imaginative folks, or people who type fast and don't care if they mispelled something.
Sew their u go!
Member: JR
Location: newark Ohio
Date: 11/20/2001
Time: 2:52:38 PM
Dear John.E. I don't know what I have to say to you will be any help at all purly because I am an acoholic on the program.But I feel your statement about not wanting to mess your boy up with AA calls for my tilling you what my childhood was like as an AA brat. I'm 50 yo ,and in 1945 my father got sober through AA. At that time there was only detox and rehab for ppl that had money or nut houses for the poor folk.So alot of alcoholics went through detox and rehab at a sober alcoholics home.And they were happy to get that, unlike today where most everyone can go to a desent detox and rehab.So when I was a child......... It was very commin place to have a drunk tied down to the living room sofa going through DT's.I don't think it ever scared me as a child because it was'of the norm' in my home.I was told to just bring friends in through the side door,and the living room had a second door so my friends couldn't see in. Seeing my mother on her hands and knees cleaning up vomit,or worse was also very normal to me.So was crying,screaming wifes and husbands leaveing thier loved one's in my dads care.He always handed them the home phone number and a list of things to buy......the big book hard candy.....ect.before they left the family member there.I have 9 older siblings so the boys got the job of helping my dad at night,we girls always kept the coffree pot full and the sandwiches made. It was a joke in the neighborhood that if your daddy drank sooner or later he's wind up on our sofa,if he didn't drink he more then likely didn't live in our neighborhood. When I was 3 days old back in Nov of 1951 my dad took me to my first AA meeting story has it that for months there after they wanted me there more then dad,for I was passed from one drunk to the nest,kissed on and mainly spoiled rotten.Most of the ppl back then like today had eather lost thier familys or couldn't see them for one reason or another.Oh and by the way......today my in my morning meeting there was one child there he was around 4yo and again went from drunk to drunk getting cookies candy hugs sips of over sugared coffee,he even spent 20 min's trying to teach an old man how to tie his shoe laces,the man had him believing he didn't know how to.The boy left his AA meeting as he called it apon leaveing with a paper bag with 3 sodas and a bunch of cookies......so don't bring your child to a meeting if you don't want him spoiled,and pampered because thats all he'll get.Topics are useually kept very clean when a child is in the room. The only nagitive thing I can remember having gone through as an AA brat was the fact that I had a girl friend who's father drank and he felt guilty about it so would buy her gifts.But that wasen't really all that bad sence I had rooms of dads that spoiled me. There was the times when things had to be cancelled because we had someone sobering up at the house,but dad tried to make them far and few between. The most importent thing I got from having a sober dad was......just that,a sober dad.He was sober enough to take me to the first day of kindergarden,teach me to put a night crawler on my fish hook,lay on the frount lawn and teach me to see pictures in the clouds,he took me camping and fishing,he came after me when I ran away in my hippie days,he cleaned his shot guns whenever my dates picked me up,He was at my 8th grad graduation and high school's to,he worked his alanon program on me to the helt when I was drinking,he saw me take my first sober chip,he walked me down the the center of the church when I married,he was there when I adopted each child ,and when I gave birth.......I knew he loved me,and I never seen my dad drunk.I stood in the room and watched my father die.and you know what? I would give everything I have to have for a min with him again..........except my sobriety.And in my saying that last Bill W is saying......Good Job to my dad.
P.s.The men in the neighborhood who drank......useually thier kids went camping with me and dad......whats worse,being an AA brat,or having a dad drunk?
Member: Ira G.
Location: MN
Date: 11/20/2001
Time: 3:43:20 PM
Hey everyone. Gotta question: sobriety is great except for one thing, my GODDAMNED BILLS haven't gone away and I'm still dead broke, but my sponsor doesn't want me to get another job for awhile. So what the hell do I do? Be sober, but out on the street? And I can't even drive my taxi at night, because I'm "committed" to all these meetings (6 a week). What's the point of sobriety if one still suffers????
Member: John J.
Location: Illinois
Date: 11/20/2001
Time: 4:31:19 PM
Hi everyone, John, alcoholic. I have to say this somewhere, because it is troubling me. I have been sober 7-1/2 years and recently drank for the first time. I was rinsing with mouthwash and noticed that it was 20% alcohol. I deliberately swallowed some, then some more, and I ended up getting this little buzz from it. It felt so good to feel that warm rush in my stomach and brain. Since then, I have had several days where I have had mouthwash and a few beers. One day last week, I drank three 24-oz. Budweisers and a few shots of mouthwash and was very buzzed but not flat-out drunk. My wife knew someting was up and I confessed that I had had a few beers. We talked and I have gotten my butt back to meetings. My pride has the better of me, as I do not feel I can tell my sponsor or my home group that I drank, because I was a respected and relatively senior member of the group, who had never relapsed before. I want to keep my 4/25/94 sobriety date, because I feel that I slipped but did not really leave the AA way of life. I literally had only a few hours of intoxication, and do not feel that I should have to start counting over again for sobriety date. This has been very tough for me. It started when I got high with my sister over the summer. Then, in the last few months, I had not been to any meetings, and it just did not seem to matter anymore whether I drank or not. And then the mouthwash thing, and then budweiser.... I did not even feel bad when I drank. I did not regret it, but now I am trying to regain the sense of urgency that my alcoholism is a life or death thing. I am going to lots of meetings again. I have admitted totally to myself what happened but I am now feeling more guitly about the whole thing. Any suggestions? Thank you. John
Member: Scott M.
Location: North Brunswick, NJ
Date: 11/20/2001
Time: 5:42:04 PM
I am an alcoholic, my name is Scott. Oh boy...where to begin... this disease is cunning baffling and POWERFUL. It is the disease that tells me that there is nothing wrong with me (it's everyone else, you know). When I came around, my sponsor (I got a Sponsor IMMEDIATELY, one who was sober for a good number of years , and had a solid working knowledge of the steps), told me to take cotton out of ears and stick it in my mouth. In other words, he was trying to say (nicely), to shut up and listen, because my way of doing things hadn't worked out too well, and I didn't really have anything that was that important to say.
I am sober for many years, and the reason I go to meetings today, IS TO GIVE BACK THE GIFT THAT WAS FREELY GIVEN TO ME!!!!! To help another alcoholic. To not judge them...yes there are alot of crackpots in AA, and I was one of them for a long time. But, by God's Grace alone, I am sober for today. That my friends is nothing short of a miracle.
The BB says that our whole problem is being SELF CENTERED TO THE EXTREME. That's why I go to meetings, to change that.
When I came around I went to 12 -15 meetings a week. At 5 years, I cut back to 7-10 meetings per week. At 10 years I had stopped going to meetings except for once in a while, I almost drank...that night, the only thing between me and the drink was GOD. I went to a meeting and raised my hand. When they called on me, I just started crying, I don't even think I said anything, but I felt like the people there understood how I felt. Folks, this is why I go to meetings.
The way I understand sobriety is that it demands rigorous honesty...half measures availed us nothing...we stood at the turning point.
My sponsor tells me that meeting makers make it, I believe it. I never picked a drink when I thinking about or helping another person, only when I was self absorbed, in my own crap.
I also believe that nothing replaces good old-fashioned f2f meetings. Identify, don't compare.
Sorry for the rant...Thankful for sobriety!
Member: BSB
Location: Atlanta
Date: 11/20/2001
Time: 6:31:53 PM
Looking forward to a sober Thanksgiving at home with my parents and my in-laws. I wish you all the best these holidays have to offer.
Member: TMG
Location: North
Date: 11/20/2001
Time: 8:22:16 PM
But "the world and its people are often quite wrong!"
see http://www.geocities.com/tmgnorth/wc.html
and http://www.geocities.com/tmgnorth/wtc.html
Member: nico
Location: oh
Date: 11/20/2001
Time: 9:00:39 PM
Member: nico
Location: oh
Date: 11/20/2001
Time: 9:06:04 PM
hey i think that if u chose to drink thats your choice. then if u get caught u have all these people telling u that u have a problem. and then it makes u think that u have a problem. its B.S.
Member: JD
Location: OH
Date: 11/20/2001
Time: 10:51:26 PM
For 11 years I was in denial about my Drinking Problem. I never really was a daily drinker, it made me feel too bad. I'm a binge drinker extraordinare.Finally realized if I'm doing something I'm ashamed of or would be in a world of trouble if I got caught,it must be wrong.I believe there are all kinds of alcoholics,but we all have the same disease.When I first started to wonder if I had a problem, I had already had a problem for a long time.There's alot of great info here.I thank everyone for their input.
Member: Gina W
Location: New Zealand
Date: 11/20/2001
Time: 10:51:41 PM
Hi everyone. Hey Roy. I totally understand. I got heaps out of the treatment centre I attended at 27(I'm 29 now and two years sober)but I NEVER want to go back. I always remember that. There is no bad situation that drinking wont make worse. I believe in a healthy fear of relapse. When I feel like I am vunerable ie I am remotely suseptable to having a drink, I ask someone to be with me and talk it through. In doing this you are not being demanding, you are being wise. Thanks all for the wise comments. Being two isn't easy. I have found I had a lot of expectations about "2"- ie all of a sudden everything will be easier. For me this hard patch has been good. At two, perhaps due to some of the expectations that I had, my deepest issues- the ones I drank over all my life have come to the surface- to be honest the ones that have still kept me down in sobriety. My sponsor is teaching me to embrace the hard times because I will always grow from them. I am now looking again at some of my resentments that I have had over the years- you know the ones that seem to stick, and am feeling them unstick a lot more. Why? I am starting to realise now, that in recovery, misery is an option. I can let go. Gina.
Member: Mari
Location: Indiana
Date: 11/20/2001
Time: 11:15:51 PM
To John J in Illinois.....the people I know who drank and didn't honestly admit it to their sponsor or at their home group, did not do very well. Honesty is one of the most important principles of our program....and we ARE as sick as our secrets.
Chances are you are not fooling anyone anyway....and the behavior you described leading up to the mouthwash and the beer, is not what AA members refer to as 'normal' recovering behavior.
It's certainly your choice, but I would admit the relapse....it was a choice you made, and I've always heard that choice is no accident.
Good luck to you....please be honest so you can live with yourself.
Member: John J.
Location: Illinois
Date: 11/21/2001
Time: 12:32:00 AM
Thank you Mari
Member: not Mari
Location: not Indiana
Date: 11/21/2001
Time: 12:36:34 AM
Oh dear....went back and read John from Illinois again.....what is it about "getting high last summer" that makes you think that is part of the "AA way"????
Come on.....get real!! Getting high and a 'few hours' of intoxication are not part of the AA way either.
The AA way, as I understand it, is abstinence from alcohol......and for me, at least, and I believe for anyone in real recovery, and abstinence from ALL mood-altering chemicals.
I also have been continuously clean and sober since April, 1994, and would not want to admit a return to active drinking and /or drugging.....but I know I would have to let that secret out if I wanted to achieve any kind of solid recovery for my future.
Sobriety does not allow me to live a lie if I want any kind of contentment and serenity in my life today.
Please think hard about what honesty is.
Member: John J.
Location: Illinois
Date: 11/21/2001
Time: 1:48:02 AM
I didn't mean to imply that "getting high" is part of the AA way; clearly it is not. Nor did I say that my drinking recently was "part of the AA way." If that was the case, I would not have posted my story. But you must remember too that the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. I do have that (and I am done with this mini-drinking bout), and have had it for nearly my entire 7-1/2 years. But Sobriety Lost Its Priority for a while, unfortunately. "I know I would have to let that secret out if I wanted to achieve any kind of solid recovery for my future. Sobriety does not allow me to live a lie if I want any kind of contentment and serenity in my life today. Please think hard about what honesty is." I appreciate your comments, but I am not living a lie if I don't tell people about my drinking and getting high, as long as I am being brutally honest with myself (which I am) and am being honest in everything I do say in my group. You may disagree with that, and I may come to agree with you; but this is something that each must decide for himself. Thanks again. John J.
Member: Jake
Location: Oregon
Date: 11/21/2001
Time: 4:35:07 AM
Dear John, George Carlin had hit a note in my alcoholic mind a while back when he said ... "You're setting at the table, and notice a crumb on the table. So you cut the crumb in half, and what do you have? -- you don't have a half a crumb here, and a half a crumb there, -- you got 2 more crumbs man!!" What this tells me is that there is no such thing as a "little white lie", or maby a half lie. If you go out and murder someone and don't tell anyone, it's still murder. The AA program stresses "vigorous honesty", and you say that you are being "brutally honest" with yourself ? Ha! Maby it's the "don't ask / don't tell" plan. They say that the biggest fool is the one that thinks he can fool himself. John, get back with the program. Get a hold of God, and get honest. Remember - the solution is spirituality. And by the way, in AA there is no such thing as "stretching the truth" either. Don't look back.
Member: DAVE
Location: OHIO
Date: 11/21/2001
Time: 5:35:14 AM
HEY JOHN IT SEEMS TO ME THAT THERE WERE SOME ISSUES INVOLVED HERE THAT CAUSED YOU TO RELAPSE. YOU NEED HELP BROTHER. I'D START BY USING A DIFFERENT BRAND OF MOUTHWASH, OR BETTER YET, JUST AVOID THAT STUFF ALLTOGETHER. GET BACK WITH AA, AND AA PEOPLE. AND GET WITH GOD.
Member: Robin A
Location: FL
Date: 11/21/2001
Time: 6:23:00 AM
John J.- You need to get another white chip. The only one you are lying to is yourself. You can't bullsh*t a bullsh*tter-we were all one at one time. Your not losing your 7&1/2 years-This is a "Only for today" program. Show some humility and pick up that chip.
Member: JD
Location: OH
Date: 11/21/2001
Time: 8:04:37 AM
John - In my book you have 7 1/2 yrs of sobriety AWESOME,and a short slip - OK,we are all human. I certainly would never judge you or anyone else.Being totally honest always makes me feel free.
Member: John J.
Location: Illinois
Date: 11/21/2001
Time: 9:02:14 AM
Thanks everyone for the comments. You have shown me what a concerned community AA is. Happy Thanksgiving. I am sober today and with God's help will stay that way. Peace.
Member: Jen B.
Location:
Date: 11/21/2001
Time: 11:28:01 AM
Hi, My name is Jen and this is my first time going online for an AA meeting. I am sober for 5 months but have not participated in many meetings. I welcome your comments and advice. Thanks, Jen
Member: Sherry A
Location:
Date: 11/21/2001
Time: 12:43:50 PM
John J
Whether you like it or not or care to admit it "You!!! my friend, have relasped" You are being dishonest to your group and to yourself! By trying to pretend this was not a big deal and didnt really happen! Dont you think, that all the millions of other people who have relasped would like to of taken it back or pretended that it didnt REALLY happen!!!
TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE!! JOHN
Purposely drinking mouthwash for the alcohol in it! and drinking beer! has ended your sobriety!! who are you trying to kid!! all those years sober to fuck it up with mouthwash!!
BTW... "mouthwash" is not needed for proper dental hygeine so get rid of it!!
I feel bad for you... but it just pisses me off to no end! to think you expect someone here!! to tell you its OK and you can keep your old sobriety date!! and this little mishap didnt really happen and we dont have to talk about it again...get real JOHN!!!
Member: SA
Location: AL
Date: 11/21/2001
Time: 1:19:00 PM
John, Are you wanting us to tell you it's ok that you "were only drunk for a few hours" and got high last summer? Face it man, you went back out. Pick up another white chip and start all over, cause obviously you don't understand what this is all about. You honestly don't have your original sobriety date: What you do have is 71/2 years of sobriety and then a relapse. Start countin' all over guy. You really can't be totally honest with yourself if you are lying to your AA buddies. I would be more upset about a friend of mine who lied about drinking than if they had honestly admitted a relapse. Everyone knows your'e an addict: Do you falsely think that everyone expects you to be perfect? Own up to your mistake. You will feel a lot better.
Member: Pam B
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Date: 11/21/2001
Time: 1:53:38 PM
Hi,I'm Pam, an Alcoholic,
Its always been hard for me to "rest on my laurels" because each time I have ever thought I could sit back with the thinking that I've got it now . . . Life on Life's Terms happens in a way that I have to keep on working my program, talking to my sponsor, bringing up topics for help, doing more reading & writing & growing further in applying the Principals of the 12 Steps.
Ever since brand new my sponsor had told me the whole point in getting thru the 12 Steps is not only so I can live (clean &)sober, but so I can reach out & carry the message to others wanting the same: The way Bill W & Dr Bob STAYED sober was Service Work ie carrying the message to another alcoholic.
When I was finally completing Step 12, my sponsor told me it is not "completed" until I have a sponsee of my own that I am taking thru the BB/12 Steps & showed me in the 12&12 where it says we still have MUCH growing to do as yet & our own growth will continue by sponsoring others.
I have found this to be true. Its while working with a newcomer that I identify with areas I still need growth in of my own. Its reading thru the BB and 12&12 again with them that I keep seeing those new lines someone added in since my last reading thru. Its true: It is the newcomer that keeps me sober. thanks for letting me share. Pam
Member: John tells how to stop working the program
Location: & end up High & Drinking Again
Date: 11/21/2001
Time: 2:05:30 PM
"It started when I got high with my sister over the summer.
Then, in the last few months, I had not been to any meetings, and it just did not seem to matter anymore whether I drank or not.
And then the mouthwash thing, and then budweiser.... I did not even feel bad when I drank.
I did not regret it, but now I am trying to regain the sense of urgency that my alcoholism is a life or death thing.
I am going to lots of meetings again. I have admitted totally to myself what happened but I am now feeling more guitly about the whole thing.
Any suggestions? Thank you. John"
Member: Brenda W.
Location: Northern California
Date: 11/21/2001
Time: 2:45:45 PM
Hey John, there is some hostility here that I hope you are not hurt by. When I admitted my relapse after years of sobriety, there were some assholes happy to say told you so too.I realized that I had some pride attached to my time and in some ways it was good for my humility to come back in. I've got several years again now, and the quality of it is much better this time. IT felt so good to admit that I had relapsed and that I needed help. I need to remember that humility now, without having to go out to get it! The others are right, you did have 7 1/2 (although you might want to rethink the 1/2 since I would consider the pot smoking the actual beginning of the relapse since it is a mind altering substance taken with the purpose of getting high) years of sobriety, and no one can take that away from you, and thank God for it. But I think you'll find a great sense of relief and self acceptance when you admit it. Please don't use it as an excuse to stay out there-you know-like, "well if I have to relapse, I might as well do it right". I didn't have to drink much that time I went out. I only got drunk about six times and I didn't get as bad as I'd been before. But I felt horrible inside, and I knew that there was a better way. In some ways though, I think I wanted to deal with the drink issue again, and not the emotional issues I was facing in sobriety. I had to decide it was time to do that too.
I'm sorry I've shared twice in this meeting, I think that is against the rules, but I did have some experience on this, and wanted to encourage you to look inside and do what you know is right. My prayers are with you, and I thank you for sharing your experience with us.
Member: Kim D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: 11/21/2001
Time: 2:58:05 PM
Wow... You get what you need around here. Must be God working!!!!
Cindy H. it was good to read your post. I am not capitolizing on your pain, mind you. But reading your experience of late reminds me that I have a disease - a PHYSICAL, MENTAL AND SPIRITUAL disease - that tells me I don't have one and then BITES ME ON THE ASS!
I have a 4 1/2 month old baby and I get to about 3 meetings a month. I work 2 jobs and also have a 9 year old son from a previous marriage. Why do I have these things in my life today???? Because I am sober (2.3 years) and not drinking. How do I stay sober???? By going to meetings on a REGULAR basis so that I don't "forget" where I came from (HELL) and to work on the inside stuff that is still there, regardless of how long it's been since I drank or how many children I have.
I have been resting on my laurels with regards to my sobriety. As someone on this site said, SLIP is sobriety loosing it's priority. I can not stay sober today on the work that I did a year ago on my sobriety. Actually, since about December of last year I have not been active because I was tired and pregnant. Now I'm a Mom and I'm tired and busy. So what - I need to get off my butt and get back to basics. Umm, like meetings would be a good beginning.
Thanks for a great topic Robin. Could have very well just saved my sobriety.
Member: Sherry
Location:
Date: 11/21/2001
Time: 5:40:24 PM
Brenda
None of us "Asshole's" are saying "I told you so", to John!! What we are saying is "Get Real" !! if you want to pat him on the back and say its OK!!! you can LIE to yourself and everyone else then you go right ahead Brenda but its still wrong!! A relapse could happen to anyone of us at anytime!! and I can only hope that I would have the sense to not go to a meeting or AA forum and ask people in the program if its OK if I choose "not" to accept the fact the I screwed up! when I got drunk and high!!! He came here asking for ass kickin and he got it...well deserved and long over due I might add!! since atleast last summer!! huh John!! Happy fucking Thankgiving!!! Sher
Member: John J.
Location: Illinois
Date: 11/21/2001
Time: 7:19:47 PM
Brenda: Thank you for your comments--they were thoughtful and appreciated. I was not here looking for someone to say it is OK; I was just struggling with the issue. I know I relapsed. I am going to tell my sponsor about it tonight. I announced it at a meeting today and I hope it helped someone else. I am a little scared right now because I only had the positive of alcohol in this last bout, and it feels like the dragon is raoming around inside asking for more. My response to this has been to go a to a meeting every day and pray to stay sober just today, one day at a time. I have accepted that I have a new sobriety date of Monday, November 19, 2001. "Happy f#$@ing Thanksgiving?" What's with that? John J.
Member: Gail W.
Location: Charleston SC
Date: 11/21/2001
Time: 8:48:50 PM
Hi, my names Gail & I'm an alcoholic. This is my first time online (couldn't get Boxerjam). Went to a noon meeting today, to 'prepare' myself for all the 'old tapes' of Thanksgivings Past....ugh. Through the Grace of God I've been sober (& of course, drug free) for over 21 years...One Day at a Time...There's no substitute for a good hug at a meeting, but reading your comments has shown me a new way to be helped by 'our fellows'. I do know that those dreams are 'letting the steam off', as in a pressure cooker...nothing to fear (but, maybe, go to more meetings). Avoid anything with alcohol, cough syrup, mouthwash, etc. AND DON'T ASSUME YOU CAN ALWAYS GET BACK...graveyards and prisons full of those who said "maybe next week" Seize the day. Also, if you're on this site & think you don't have a problem..think again. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck..its a duck (like who else but an alchy would want to be here???)...Anyway, I'll count you all when I count my Blessings tomorrow, Happy Thanksgiving and Thank You for being here.
Member: Lyla Douce
Location: Polk City, Fl
Date: 11/21/2001
Time: 10:04:51 PM
John from Illinois You, my friend, drank, you deliberately drank! You are lying to yourself, your group and to your Higher Power, if that is part of your belief system. I have 17 years of continous, uninterrupted sobriety and I did not do it alone. My group, sponsor, husband, friends, family and my Higher Power all kept me from that first drink. I thank HP everday for my sobriety. The people around me are all sober people, that is my choice. I have family members that drink and use drugs, I choose not to be around them, except for brief periods of time at family get togethers. I hope that you get honest, John. If you don't you WILL drink again! ldragonreader@aol.com
Member: JR
Location: Newark Ohio
Date: 11/21/2001
Time: 10:51:33 PM
Lyda douce, I like the way you work your program.....from what I read in your last statement.58 days sober here,(thank God!)I really want sobriety this time,don't think I have another going out and comming back in me.This time I am really doing my very best,not playing games and working the steps slowly.I'm sticken with the winners, and attend sometimes(most of the time) up to 4 meetings a day.And My higher power seems to be keeping me covered in a pink cloud most of the time,and he has also given me an open mind something I have never been known for.I have two sponsors one online and another f2f.And they are great!But I do like alot of of different views on my questions.I wonder if you would mind answering my questions from time to time?One question I have asked I seem to continuly get 50/50 answers to.Wonder if you would mind given' it a try?What do you think is best for a New commer, should I keep quiet in meetings,or share?At this point in my sobriety I feel I have no right offering advice to anyone..........so it isn't a matter of that......Its just that I am a talker, and can relate to so much. I also feel I should till you that I grew up in AA and had two terms of long term sobriety before(dry drunks really).I didn't work the steps before and went to very few meetings if at all.But this time I am totally open to different points of view.This time I so want to do it right,I not only want sobriety, I want a good quilty of sobriety.ty Ladysilverspirit@yahoo.com
Member: John J.
Location: Illinois
Date: 11/22/2001
Time: 12:16:26 AM
OK, I've had enough of the holier-than-thou self-righteous indignation regarding my relapse (especially Lyla Douce). You who have not relapsed think you are superior in honesty. Look at your own lives instead of disparaging mine. Learn how to read carefully before you spout off about your wonderful program. I admitted I drank at a meeting todayin a prior post. I am not denying anything about it, and I admitted it to myself, and to God. Don't presume to tell me that I am lying to God. It is arrogrant for you to evaluate my relationship with God. I welcome your comments but have no use for your arrogance. You alcoholics of all people should know that arrogance repulses alcoholics. Far better is to encourgae others to search their souls and be honest. But knock it off with the "I'm REALLY sober" arrogance, else you may be humbled like I have been, by alcoholism. John J.
Member: moose m.
Location: columbus ohio
Date: 11/22/2001
Time: 1:58:45 AM
good morning! they call me moose and I AM an alcoholic (imagine that!!). for jr in newark....listen. listen until you have something to say and then say it. you won't believe how good it feels. but always listen. in listening there is learning. john j has to live with himself and sounds as though he's having a hard time with it. but if he really wants to recover.....he'll be honest with himself and do it. choices. that's what it's all about. we ALL have to teach ourselves to make the right ones, happy thanksgiving to all!
Member: JR
Location: Newrk Ohio
Date: 11/22/2001
Time: 4:27:55 AM
moose m ty so much.And happy thanksgiving to u 2.I'm just itchen' to say something to John....but like I said I haven't been sober long enough to give advice,and I try not to take inventorys.All I know is I spent 23 years in 2 dry drunks pretending to work the program.I wish I could still have my first date of sobriety,sept 23 1975.but thats not the way I work my program today.I try to work and honest program.Im sober over 55 days, BUT I messed up big time.....I didn't SLIP.........I drank..not by misstake......I knew what I was doing.......so I only coun't today,and pray I don't drink tomarrow.A friend of mine said when I got out of rehab"jackie you can still smoke pot with me" I said 'No' the big book says no mind bending drugs.Bill and Bob said it,that settles it for me.My husband has 27 years in AA. Last year we were at a BBQ........someone there thought it would be funny to slip a shot of whisky in his coffee.He took a sip,and spit it out.He raised holy hell with the prankster.I feel he did not lose his time in AA and his honest program,and neather did other AA'ers.But had he swallowed after realizing what was in his mouth....then.......his honesty and his time would have been shot.HOW UNFAIR I would be to myself and to the others in AA had I walked into a meeting and said I had been sober sence 1975.What I had earn was lost the second I picked up a drink.How unfair to new commers had I done so when I see them sitting on their hands, and fighting the earge to drink.I spent $20 today on junk food.I can't exspect to eat and still keep my $20.Sorry but thats just what I have learned from AA's that have helped me.Thats what I'm doing now...sharing my experience.You taught me something John,ty,I will no longer count how long I got.....(I'll let my hubby do that so I can still get the gifts...lol.......)I'll only count today.
Member: Jeff B
Location: se MI via northern CA
Date: 11/22/2001
Time: 9:14:26 AM
My name is Jeff and I am an alcoholic. I am very glad to be here and to be sober. Laurel resting can be a problem for me. The only time I can do anything about it is now. The solutions seems to be getting up and doing something about it like going to a meeting or calling a friend in AA. If I drift off in to remorse about it today instead of simply recognizing it and doing something it really does mess me up. Anyway I am sober because of AA and God. I need to get as close to them as often as I can.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone and thanks for being here.
Member: JR
Location: Newark Ohio
Date: 11/22/2001
Time: 10:42:29 AM
HAPPY TURKEY DAY!Last night I fell down the stone steps out frount of my AA meeting!SOBER!LOL.messed up my leg big time!SOBER!All my family went to Alabamma to my Mother-in-laws for turkey day.......I'm alone.......AND SOBER!!God its great to be sober!Not crying over spelt gravy here.........Going to hobble to a meeting........SOBER!I look good in pink........a pink cloud that is.
Member: aen
Location: NV
Date: 11/22/2001
Time: 11:08:47 AM
HI. This is my first time here. I am coming up on six months and relapse has been a real problem for me. I've been coming around for 20 years - at one point I had 6 years. "Resting on my laurels' was definitely the reason behind my relapses. My thinking was 'well, I prayed yesterday so if I forget to pray today, I'll be OK'. I can't stay sober today on yesterday's prayers.
I'm on vacation with my two sons right now, about 2500 miles from home and I'm a single mother. I'm feeling really isolated today - I don't know what made me think that getting away from my family during the holidays would be a good thing. I'm in a remote location on top of a mountain surrounded by lots of snow. I know I need to find a face-to-face meeting today.
Anyway, I'm glad I brought my laptop so I could at least look at some online resources. I'm glad I can be here and read these posts and feel my virtual AA family around me. But I think I need some real flesh and blood connection.
A comment to John J - fessing up after a relapse - whether it be a few hours or a few years - has always been very painful to me. Everybody would think I was doing so well but then I would relapse and disappoint them and myself. What has surprised me is that when I did tell my group, I got an incredible outpouring of love and prayers, instead of the recrimination I was expecting. Those who did recriminate - well, they don't have what I want and they aren't the people I go to for help. I believe the program is about kindness and love and tolerance - not lectures and criticism. My thoughts and prayers are with you
Have a great Thanksgiving to everyone. And thanks for being here.
Member: Ed g.
Location: SD
Date: 11/22/2001
Time: 12:07:49 PM
Thanks John. You have reminded me how sneaky this disease is, if it can happen to you it can happen to me. Ive been sober since 2-14-82, and yes resting on my laurels also. Tonight is a great night for a meeting. thanks again and welcome back!
Member: Patricia
Location: NEW YORK
Date: 11/22/2001
Time: 1:43:48 PM
Hi to everyone and thanks for an excellent meeting. This will be my first Thanksgiving I am spending alone. I choose for the first time in my sobriety, not to be around peoople drinking and the insane behavior of people indulging in alcohol! I know that I must go to a meeting to share my feelings, be around sober people and work my program on a daily basis. This will be the only way I can stay true to myself and honest about my alcoholism. I am truly grateful to be a part of this site. This is a blessing and a gift! Thanks to everyone who shared and is keeping me sober another day. P.S. JR from Newark Ohio. I can totally identify with your comments. That was an extremely powerful and meaningful message. Thank you. I feel I do not have to drink for today. HAPPY THANKSGIVING FRIENDS
Member: Laura and Cindy
Location: IN
Date: 11/22/2001
Time: 2:30:28 PM
Tammy, an alcoholic, Laura i think u spoke to many of us mothers, single or married. I've been looking for more f2f womens groups, but there arent many, anyway, THANK YOU for your comments, and Cindy, i'll say a prayer for u too.
Member: Bob M
Location:
Date: 11/22/2001
Time: 2:53:47 PM
Hi i am Bob and i aI am an alcoholic. I was wuppose to spend Thanksgiving with my two younger daughters but because some elecitve cosmetic surgery has resulted in swelling, I dare not let them see me. They are spending the day with my side of the family and we have spoken twice. I told them it was a construction injury with swelling. This vanity stuff is sickening me, what it my problem anyway. I feel sad guilty and scared but I did pray on my knees this morning and am not drinking on a holiday, what a blessing and a gift.
Member: Mary Allen
Location: Austin,MN (Plymouth,MN for the next three days.)
Date: 11/22/2001
Time: 3:13:49 PM
I am appoaching my sober date and have a slight case of the "squirrels". Resting on my laurals is a very good topic. I did the super AA program the first couple of years and then I had my daughter and needed to slow down my service work involvement. I still attended meetings. It was humbling to go back to "just" chairing a meeting or making the coffee. I realized that these are the service that help to keep the meetings available to people who need one. I attend the meetings so there are meetings there just as there were meetings available when I needed them.
My daughter has attended meetings with me on a regular bases since she has been born. She has "special" names for the different meetings we go to. I have found no one that has a problem with her attending. As someone else stated much better attending meetings with all those AA people or have a mother who may drink or has a piss poor attitude and out look on life. Being spoiled is a concern but they are doing it out of love or missing their own children.
As to whether my daughter will be a drunk or need to be a member of AA I don't know as I can't predict the future. She has a mother who drank and a father who still drinks. She is seeing both sides of the coin. The only thing that I hope for is that if she ever needs the program it will be there and have solid memebers.
I hope that everyone is able to spend time with people they care about in this special time of year.
Member: Norm P
Location: Indiana
Date: 11/22/2001
Time: 4:33:00 PM
What is complacency? To me,it is simply failing to do what I need to do to stay sober and live life to the fullest and to the best of my ability. Today,it does not consist of going to a lot of meetings and neglecting my own life,my family and the rest of the world outside AA. For about ten years,I did all the things you are talking about. I needed every meeting,every service job,everything I ever did. Then,I was knocked flat on my back by a crippling and unexpected attack of clinical depression. I couldn't go to meetings. I learned to use the other tools. I got better acquainted with my Higher Power. Before that,we had a nodding acquaintance;now I depend on Him because I learned I can't depend on other people. I did NOT let go of the steps-especially Step Ten. I constantly watch myself for signs of slippage. I pray I will always take the action outlined in the steps to correct it when I find it. When I have a problem,I need to use the right tool. I suppose I could drive a nail with a screwdriver but that's doing it the hard way. This life is a process;I apparently was not meant to remain inside a sheltered cocoon for the rest of my life. This,to me,is growth. Today,I rely on the principles of AA,not the personalities in it.
Member: JR
Location: Newark,Ohio
Date: 11/22/2001
Time: 4:50:24 PM
Hi Mary Allen.I don't know if you read my post earlier this week about what it was like for me to be an AA brat or not.But let me ease your mind sweetheart.My father had 10 children,I'm the only alcoholic out of all of us.Most of the others,eather don't drink,drink normally,or started to have a problem and nipped it in the bud.I'm the only one that is a member of AA.Pretty good odds if you ask me:)Also I want to till you some true storys.......Yes I was spoiled rotten by the other sober alcoholics but....I was also taken care of by them as will.My parents had tons of free baby sitters,they very seldom took advantage of.I skipped school a few times and was always dragged home by some alcoholic or another.I tried to run away when I was little,got lost and scared to death,and found a house I knew I had been at a number of times and knocked on the door and it was a sober members home,thank God.When I became a hippie as a teenager my dad useually found me,but there were two times when other AA'ers found me and drug me home.Worse things can happen to a kid then being an AA brat.The most commen is having a parent that is still drinking..........And if your child turns out like me and becomes an alcoholic you can always do as my parents did...............start attending alanon........it sure messed up my drinking.lol God bless your baby.......bring her to one of my meetings......I have alot of AA hugs and kisses to pay back.lol its a sharing program.
Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 11/22/2001
Time: 7:42:42 PM
Hi, all! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Thanks for the sincere shares! Welocme newcomers!
I think we are all guilty of resting on our laurels at some time or another in our sobriety. The key for me is not to remain in such a state.
When I'm concerned about this, my sposor reminds me to evaluate my program. In other words, what concrete steps and suggestions am I taking or do I need to take each day to help me keep me sober and not rest on my laurels.
If I'm taking as many concrete steps as I can, then I'm not resting on my laurels.
Member: moose m
Location: columbus ohio
Date: 11/23/2001
Time: 12:38:18 AM
hey everybody.....mosse again. just spent a wonderful day sober with the family. made me think back about how "turkey day" used to be. man....what a difference. ironically today is kind of an anniversary. i trashed mine and another car in a head on crash the night before thanksgiving 7 years ago. the start of total unmanagability in my life. still took two more years before the lite came on! how stupid are we alcoholics. now.....4 1/2 years into sobriety it is JUST NOW really starting to make sense. the program that is. guess i'm just tryin' to say.....hang in there. this really works.....if ya' work it. hope all had a wonderful and sober thanksgiving. now let's deal with xmas!!!!!
Member: Rich R, s-l-o-w-l-y recovering compulsive person :-)
Location: Detroit (richr_srcp@hotmail.com)
Date: 11/23/2001
Time: 4:02:09 AM
Thanks for the topic Robin. I like to rest on my laurels! Heck, I just like to rest period! I'm like the hare in the story of the tortoise and hare. I run like crazy for a while and then I rest. I wish I were more like the tortoise, who plods along at a slow and steady pace.
Thanks for letting me share. I have so much to be thankful for. :-)
Member: Graham M.
Location: Canberra, Australia
Date: 11/23/2001
Time: 4:45:14 AM
Cindy from Ohio (after a year away from meetings and AA) busted and copped a DUI.
She asks for any 'words of wisdom'.
All I can suggest is to again begin doing whatever you did the last time you stayed sober continuously. You said were going to meetings and you were also probably doing whatever the other successful AA members were doing too - and it worked too - until you stopped doing it.
So the 'answer' is simply to do what worked the first time and avoid doing whatever it was that lead to your big bust - like not going to meetings, etc...
If doing certain things kept you sober the last time you did them - then doing them again will surely work for you again.
Sure - there will be the added 'stressor' of getting past the DUI charge (and a niggly hubby) to cope with - which is all the more reason to start in pronto on doing what you did the last time you successfuly stayed sober.
Best wishes,
Graham M.
Member: Nick G
Location: Reading, UK
Date: 11/23/2001
Time: 5:54:21 AM
Hi everyone, I'm Nick and I'm an alcoholic. Good topic for the week, thanks Robin. Recovery seems to me to be a constant cycle of pain, surrender, application of recovery principles, good living, belief that the big I, rather than God, has created this good living, complacency, character defects and pain. Somehow it gets easier because I have kept the basics in place - there is something programme orientated in each day like prayer, meditation, talking to sponor, sponsees and newcomers, literature and meetings. in other words my recovery consists of going round the same old nonsense in ever decreasing circles (I hope)becoming slightly wiser through the experience. God is good and even my hardshps and straying seem to serve the cause of my recovery and journey towards Love if I can just for a moment turn to him and the programme He has provided for someone with our disease. Yesterday life seemed rather painful and a bit mad but thanks to a meeting and contact with other alcoholics that has led to a new surrender, today the feeling is different and filed with gratitude. Thanks for letting me share. God bless, Nick G, Reading UK
Member: Jim R
Location: Pennsylvania
Date: 11/23/2001
Time: 6:55:48 AM
Jim R, alcoholic I'm too new to the program to rest on my laurels. I need to exercise them a bit before they become so muscle-bound as to be a problem. I don't see satisfaction in accomplishments as much of a problem, as long as they are followed by still more accomplishments. Mine are pretty small steps these days and are measured in tiny increments of happiness or achievement. Anytime one of you ol'timers feel like resting too much, you try to grapple with one of us newbees and our misconceptions about the program and its (our)goals! Give'n it back'll cure what ails ya!
Member: Terry V.
Location: FL & PA
Date: 11/23/2001
Time: 10:43:48 AM
Kurt S. in St. Louis: it may help to ask: "If some test could prove that I am NOT an alcoholic what would I do?" Since the only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking, I could still be a member. Or I could start drinking again & attempt to recapture a feeling that lasted 15 mins followed by hours of chaos, acting out, throwing up, driving drunk, car accidents, ending up in bed with strangers, abortions, shattered relationships,...
Member: Rick S.
Location: Michigan
Date: 11/23/2001
Time: 10:53:18 AM
I'm trying to find a 'safe' alky site. I've gone to the 'coffee pot' for the last couple of weeks, and can't stand it. I just quit going to the site last night.
Everyone is so mean. And it's full of perverts.
Is this room a little more sane? Or can anyone suggest other alky chat sites?
Member: Jen
Location: CO
Date: 11/23/2001
Time: 3:01:41 PM
Rick I agree I can not stand the Coffee Pot either.
comments on the person who talked about being "slipped a shot in the coffee" that is a horrible thing for anyone to do, however people who are not alkies would not understand, what a terrible thing they have done. Accidently consumming alcohol does not jepardize ones sobriety, but purposely consumming it does! anyone can order food from a resturant and not know that it may be prepared with alcohol..alot of people do not know mouthwash and cough med. have alcohol in them..and when they do realize that they have consumed something with alcohol in it and it is replused and stopped immediatly than I do not feel that it jepardizes sobriety, but if you continue to consume it knowing that it has alcohol in it than you have relasped, this is the way it was explained to me by my sponsor years ago, and I tend to agree and feel it is right. Thanks for letting me share
Member: Lyla Douce
Location: Fl
Date: 11/23/2001
Time: 3:27:43 PM
On March 29 of this year, the person most responsible for getting me to attend AA died after open heart surgery. Yesterday, Thanksgiving, was a joyous day, but I missed my aunt. She introduced me to my favorite form of alcohol, got sober herself and encouraged me in my early sobriety. Aunt Peg was a "spinster" that enjoyed the h*ll out of life. She owned her own home, did her own auto and home repairs, raised an adopted son and care for my grandmother for the last few years Grandma was alive. I just had to pay a brief visit to her and share her with friends. She was a strong woman and was my best friend and I miss her. I think I'll go to a meeting, tonight. bye, family ldragonreader@aol.com
Member: Me
Location: Here
Date: 11/23/2001
Time: 3:59:22 PM
Cheer up~Pooperdog! Have a great meeting-I think I will too. Love Ya!
Member: JR
Location: Neark Ohio
Date: 11/23/2001
Time: 4:14:28 PM
to me if I drank today for a second.....knowing I was going to drink alcohol..........I would lose my sobriety.Period!
Member: sonia
Location: uk
Date: 11/23/2001
Time: 5:52:56 PM
Thankyou for the topic. I am not sure i know what complacency is in sobriety, it appears that the times i am happiest in sobriety i am more likely to go to meetings and read the big book and pray and do twelvestep service. And when i am struggling with myself as i am now, doing those things is a struggle. i do do them, but it is a struggle sometimes. maybe it is by having those commitments that i get through these times without drinking. drinking doesnt often come in to my head. But i am so much struggling with me on a new level. right now it appears that all the steps are very important to me. because i do believe i will fail, i am beginning to think what is the point of being sober if i can't or won't or god wont see fit to help me change. I am talking to my sponser more often and face to face meetings three times a week, telephone duty and sponsorship, a lot to stay sober for even if nothing changes.
me.sonia@ntlworld.com
Member: Robin A
Location: Fl
Date: 11/23/2001
Time: 6:08:07 PM
Sonia~it will get better~this is what is called "growing pains" I know as I have just recently had a "growth spurt" It hurt like hell but I am now stronger because of it~guess I have to be thankful for those times (even though I do not like them-one bit!)
Member: Grateful Graham
Location: Thamesmead UK
Date: 11/23/2001
Time: 6:45:24 PM
I told my sponsor about drinking dreams.
"Did you ever dream when I was drinking?" he asked'
Of course I had!
Then he asked, "Were drinking in all of them?"
Of course I hadn't!
"So you were sober in some of them?"
Of course I was.
"Did you finish up sober because you had sober dreams?"
Of course I didn't!!!!!!!
Member: Doug K
Location: Antlerless woods of rural W. Mich.
Date: 11/23/2001
Time: 8:32:56 PM
Congrats, John. As hard as it was to fess up to your group and your sponsor, you did it. Try not to be too upset with the comments before you came clean, that advice you deserved. The rest...well some people must not read to the end before posting. And remember here, bro, I'm pretty sure the criticism (sp?) was directed at the original denial and dihonesty, not the fact of the relapse itself (I hate the word relapse, why don't we just say we got a buzz goin'?). It takes huge balls to start over, but that's exactly what has to be done. It's not how many times the horse bucks me off, but how many times I climb back on that will determine whether I die a drunk or a sucess.
Member: Kevin B.
Location: TX
Date: 11/23/2001
Time: 10:33:52 PM
Hi, my name is Kevin and I am an alcoholic. I am clean and sober today thanks to AA, it has been that way for a little over six months, for this I am truly greatful. Holidays and sobriety, what a concept. I am going to make it. There is no doubt in my mind. I owe it to myself and to my higher power. I pray for the alcoholics out there that do not know it yet.
Member: Tina C
Location: New York
Date: 11/24/2001
Time: 12:24:13 AM
Member: Bob S.
Location: Salt Lake City
Date: 11/24/2001
Time: 12:33:12 AM
Robin wrote: "OK-how about (1):"Sitting on your Laurels?" Getting too comfortable just going day to day (2):without worrying about drinking; for a change." I'm Bob and an alcoholic. The first part of the above is not true for me, because I haven't done anything I can claim laurels for, but the second part is. I've been going to meetings, reading in the BB and 12X12, praying and meditating, sponsoring and being sponsored, doing service work, going to AA and other 12-Step conventions and retreats, during my sobriety. It's a simple lifestyle that is working. I don't think about drinking and imagine that's because I spend my time in the solution enough of my time that the thought of drinking just does not occur. Now, having said that, I do have the full range of insane thoughts and associated feelings from time to time. The difference for me now is that I have a fairly well practiced regimen of living and practicing principles that seem to keep me from veering too far off course. I pray in the morning, or "check-in" with G~d, and do the same at night and several times in-between, as needed. I talk to other recovering, and sometimes not recovering, alcoholics every day. It would be hard for me to forget where I came from, and that's a key for me. I don't think I can claim pride or credit for "taking my medicine" to keep my form of this disease in remission. I can always do a better, sometimes much better job of growing up and acting like an adult. Thanks for letting me share. G~d bless us all. Bob
Member: Larry P.
Location: Heidelberg, Germany
Date: 11/24/2001
Time: 3:21:40 AM
Hey Everybody,
Larry here, alcoholic living in Heidelberg, germany. Love the "you can't coast uphill" post...so true...resting on our laurels..I do that a lot...get complacent...I go to meetings on Tuesday and Friday religiously and get my batteries recharged...remembering that I'm a drunk not a monk...;o) been sober "one day at a time" for over 12 years now...that's truly a miracle...I just got to remember that no matter what's going on in my life, a drink will only make it worse, not better....my sponsor always tell me to "keep it simple" odaat...and another principle to follow is "not take myself too seriously"...and have a little fun...thanks for the posts and don't drink odaat!!!!
Member: SHALEE
Location: NORTH OF BOSTON MASS
Date: 11/24/2001
Time: 6:34:42 AM
I AM GLAD THAT I FOUND THIS PLACE ON COMPSERV DUE TO I AM A DRUGGY AND ALCAHOLIC IN RECOVERY FOR 16 YRS. AND I ALSO TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME .SOME TIMES ONE MONENT AT A TIME AS DOES EVERYONE ELES I KNOW WITH IN THE HALLS . I SOBERED UP THE HARD WAY . I DIDN'T GO TO THE HALLS UNTIL I MET MY HUSBAND . AT THE TIME I FIGURED THAT I HAD DROPPED THE HABIT AND THAT WAS GOOD ENOUGH BUT THROUGH THE HALLS I HAVE FOUND THAT YOU CAN DROP THE HABIT BUT THE MOODS FOLLOW YOU EVRYDAY IF YOU DON'T SEEK HELP. I FOUND MY HELP IN THE HALLS AND THAT IS WERE I LIVE ONE DAY AT A TIME AND TRY TO STAY THERE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE . I AM UNABLE TO SIT WITH LARGE CROWEDS SO I HIT SMALL MEETINGS AND LOVE THEM THEY ARE MORE PERSONABLE . I LIKE F2F BUT WHEN I CAN'T GET THAT I WILL COME HERE TO SHARE. THANK YOU FOR LISTENING AND BLESSED BE TO ALL.
Member: Joanne G.
Location: Texas
Date: 11/24/2001
Time: 9:14:43 AM
For: Cindy H in Ohio
Been there and still taking care of it. If you want to talk, drop me a line at SligarJr@aol.com. We aren't criminals, just sick humans who really made a BIG mistake. Love and concern, JUST JO
Member: JR
Location: Newark,Ohio
Date: 11/24/2001
Time: 1:23:55 PM
Missed the 11 am meeting because I was up way to late and over slept ,now I have to wait till 8:30 for a meeting.I guess at this point of my sobriety I just live and breath meetings.Better then some things I could be doing. I have a question.At the meeting hall where I attened my meetings theres people who are not all there.......They crave attention,and go about getting it anyway possible.I know that these 3 people are mentally ill,but sometimes its very hard on all of us when they disrupped meetings,with chair slamming,talking to each other ,laughing,screamming,or just asking the same questions over and over again,and then leaveing the meetings to get high and comming back that way.I can't begin to till you the things these three do during meeting.I don't want them tossed out by no means. Most all the people in the meetings just say be friendly but try to not allow them to interupped the meeting for you.Any one ealse have any ideas?
Member: Callie M.
Location: Oregon
Date: 11/24/2001
Time: 2:47:37 PM
If you need AA everyday, do it.I don't need it all the time.Having a hobby and spending time with my supportive family helps me. I also know from past experience that to be too busy and over-doing it can stress you out leaving yourself open to relapse.Everyone is different,there is not only one way to stay sober-you have to find yourself and love you.
Member: Annie A
Location: Pa
Date: 11/24/2001
Time: 3:19:47 PM
TO JENNIFER & CINDY H- I too am a stay at home Mom, who is alone a lot, as my hub works nights. I have my own little happy hour at home- just me and my friend "Bud" to help chase the boredom and lonliness. Though I am a functioning Mom, I realized two years ago when I got myself into AA, that I wasn't always a "present" Mom. Anyway after three months of AA I slipped was too embarrassed to go back, got lazy and have been drinking almost every night. Most nights I stay within my set- limit so as not to get too buzzed. Ya know, all the little games you play with yourself. Bottom line- I'm an alkie and need to get back to meetings. Sure could use the support of other Moms feeling the same way or who have been through the same feelings. You can e-mail me at palamo@pikeonline.net Would love to hear from you. THERESA H - I too am new here in town. Don't have any friends, nowhere to go, unfamiliar with everything, etc. At least you found your way to the local meeting. Hopefull I can do the same. Feel free to e-mail.palamo@pikeonline.net Maybe we can help each other out. Bored Alcoholic Lonely Stay at Home Moms Unite! Okay - trying to make it through the day sober. Glad your all out there.
Member: RAY. MAC.
Location: SCOTLAND
Date: 11/24/2001
Time: 3:21:47 PM
HI MY NAME IS RAYMOND SOBER NOW FOR 15 YEARS .LOST MY FIRST WIFE,JOB MIND TO BOOZE .REMARRIED AFTER 8 YEARS SOBER HAVE NOW A WONDERFUL WIFE AND THREE GREAT WEE BOYS A GIFT FROM MY HIGHER POWER STILL DO MANY MEETINGS SPEAK TO MY SPONSER AND DO SPONSERSHIP MYSELF,AND MOST INPORTANT PRACTICE THIS PROGRAM IN MY LIFE WELL I TRY ITS ONLY O.D.A.A.T LOVE FROM BONNIE SCOTLAND.
Member: BAR
Location: CT.
Date: 11/24/2001
Time: 5:09:09 PM
MY name is BAR and I've been sober for24 years. Stopping drinking was easy but staying stopped requires my full concentration on a daily basis.When I was able to start "peeling the onion" [me] it was and still is mind blowing. I never knew who I was and hey I'm not so bad. Thanks to "AA".
Member: MELISSA A.
Location: CALIFORNIA
Date: 11/24/2001
Time: 7:18:46 PM
Hello to all- Melissa and I am an alcoholic... Sitting on your laurels- great topic- I found myself in that position and ended up having a relapse.. I had been sober for 90 days but by the last month, I wasn't going to meetings- I wasn't reaching out to to my support network- I started to sit on the couch- sleep- ignore everyone and everything- who was suprised that I relapsed?? But today I have been sober for two weeks again- I go to an AA meeting everyday- sometimes twice a day.. I call friends- we make plans and car pool so we can't bail out on each other and let me tell you- it helps!!! AA is wonderful- if you listen to the message- what comment do I remember the most- "Keep Coming Back"- it works, if you work it- AND YOU LET IT!!! God bless you all out there.
Member: angela b.
Location: ky
Date: 11/24/2001
Time: 9:53:24 PM
hi im angela im an alcoholic. this is a good topic for me.i went back out after 2and a half years. thank god i am back.for me i know i need meeings or ill be drunk again. right noe i have a 14 year old daughter who is also an alcoholic.im am just happy im sober and i can help her.she is in a treatmemt center now has been for 2weeks.pray for us please.thanks
Member: Tee.R
Location: killeen,Texas
Date: 11/24/2001
Time: 10:43:10 PM
HI, My name is Tee and I am an alcoholic My sponser tells me there is no such thing as A slippypoo! If I drink its because(I) chose to.IT took getting beat into some state of reasonableness before I could admit "I am an alcoholic" For what its worth there it is.
Member: brad j
Location: SD
Date: 11/24/2001
Time: 11:52:52 PM
Hi, I'm Brad and I'm an alcoholic. I've been sober for 2 mos. and have been going to meetings 3 times a week. I don't have enough sobriety to rest on my laurels but, hopefully I will remember what's been shared here. Please give me some advice on sharing at meetings. Do I need to shut up and just listen? I know my thoughts are still disorganized but sometimes I feel like I'm going to burst. Thanks.
Member: Freddy B. Good
Location: Boynton Beach FL
Date: 11/25/2001
Time: 12:33:17 AM
Robin you have been in for 2 years. I'll assume you did the steps. If you finished the steps you know that 10, 11, 12 are KEEP UP steps. Follow them. Ask you sponcer how to KEEP UP. In my words steps 10,11,12 10-Practice your new life daily 11-Know your higher power better 12-help out -- help other aa's If you have not done the steps 10,11,12 are meaningless. Fred
Member: Fred B Good
Location: Boynton Beach FL
Date: 11/25/2001
Time: 12:45:13 AM
Brad, Share Honestly. If your honest you will be shocked to find how many of us have your thoughts too. Keep it simple. Plus your thougts are your problem if you keep them to yourself. Let the strength and hope of AA carry your thought load. Sharring is a methode of off loading what we refer to as stinking thinking.
Fred
Member: Mary
Location: Canada
Date: 11/25/2001
Time: 1:34:01 AM
Hi everybody my name is Mary and I am an alcoholic. Grateful to be sober today. Alcohol is a subtle foe and I know that the alcoholic does push ups beside my bed at night. It is cunning, baffling and powerful! I get out of this AA program what I put in. If I don't do the things that are necessary to keep me sober and sane, then I pay a price as do my loved ones around me. I paid a huge price to get into this program, one that I don't ever want to have to pay again. Life seems to have a way of waking me up from my sleepy laurels to action; I pray that I will always receive the "wake up" calls! MESSAGE TO JD: You asked about the 1st drink...I play the tape all the way through in my head back to the most miserable bottom I can remember and ask myself, do I want to go back there and progess worse from there? Then I get my butt to a meeting or phone another alcoholic and pray, pray, pray!!! MESSASGE TO DONNIE M. I still have drunk dreams on occasion. Man do they ever feel real!!! But the gratitude upon awakening is real! MESSAGE TO BRENDA W. I'm no expert, but I know that I need to go to AA not only to keep sober, but to help tame the selfishness, self centeredness, fear, self-delusion, self-seeking and self pity. It is imperative for me to go to meetings to try to live the 5th tradition, I find that to be one of the most gratifying feelings ever, besides, I think it is what the Higher Power wants me to do. Thank you all for my sobriety. Peace and Love
Member: Larry T
Location: MT.
Date: 11/25/2001
Time: 1:37:07 AM
Hi Larry here good topic I have been sober for 7 years I thought I had it beat . Boy was I wrong I guess I have to learn things the hard way . I have been back at it now for awhile and a good friend just called me on it . She made me think again I dont really think about drinking I just got lost and figured I could be just like the others that can stop and have one or two beers after work but it dont work for the oneturns into 20 . Time to go Back to the meetings Not somethign Im looking forward too. But it all begins with that first step . Thanks for all the comments on this subject I guess I was meant to look this up tonite cause it really hit home with me. Thank You all
Member: Robin A
Location: Fl
Date: 11/25/2001
Time: 2:02:31 AM
Fred, I have 2 years and 8 months of (un-interrupted) sobriety-what I was referring to in my topic was sticking with the basics of the program. I have been feeling very badly lately and ignoring that which I know will help me to get out of me. Yes-I have done the steps-still working the last 3 every day-I was going through a tough set of "growing pains" in sobriety since Sept 11th-bit too close for me as good friends of my parents were on the 1st plane to hit the tower1-My brothers, sisters and I all grew up with their 4 children and I have had to look at life differently now. This last week I seem to have broken through to the other side and am feeling much better. Still have to work on the basics-but I am that much further from a drink. I keep faithfully to 3 meetings a week-sometimes more. Staying sober is hard--getting sober is HELL!! I don't want to have to start over-so Thanks to everyone who shared their E,S & H with me...on to a new topic (as soon as the techs refresh this page-thats if they're not too busy fighting the BS at the Coffee Pot!)
Member: ernie
Location: TX
Date: 11/25/2001
Time: 2:39:21 AM
I'm Ernie and I'm an alcoholic. You know, It's really amazing that I have you people out there for me through this machine! I've been sober since january 1999 and as selfish and lazy as I can be I have to remember how cunning, baffling, and powerful my alcoholism is. God is always helping me to remember that. When I did step 3 I had to have a leap of faith and that's when I started praying the Serenity Prayer and meaning it. I have to remember that the alcoholic within me will do anything and everything in i'ts power to kill me. That is the reality of my insanity. So it's God's way or the graveyard. Ernie wants to live, my alcoholism does'nt care but God has always cared for me though I refused to believe that truth and instead believed the lies of the alcoholism. I pray to God that I never grow complacent If It be the will of my creator, and he has never let me down and I know he never will. thanks for letting me share.
Member: Patty LePew
Location: Not
Date: 11/25/2001
Time: 3:18:27 AM
It's scary to read about people with six months sobriety, six years sobriety, 16 years sobriety and yet the threat of deciding to take another drink hangs overhead. Constantly chasing down meetings, constantly chasing down other alkies, constantly working steps, and praying, and counting on the miracle of another day sober.
Is there no peace? Can a person just honest to God realize permanently that alcohol is a big time no-no. It's not like I am a freak in the personality department, deviated, selfabsorbed to ad naseum, evil, mean, egomaniacal (there's lots of that in long time sobriety people), I just need to check out of hotel california.
Member: Jay
Location: Wisconsin
Date: 11/25/2001
Time: 7:32:27 AM
Hi everybody.
My name is Jay and I'm an alcoholic. I've had a few sobriety dates over the years, the last significant one was July 15th, 1989. I guess I'm writing to come clean... I read a bunch of the posts on the page, and it sounded like the straight-forward honesty I grew up with in my old home group. I came clean with those people, and they really helped me.
(I remember the St. Marks "HOW" group of the mid 80's, the Alanon House above the drum shop on 46th st, the Midtown group, and The Mustard Seed in NYC; In Seattle, the Broadview group, Three Book Study and St. Paul's "Healing hospital for the walking wounded..." (God bless you, Del...)
Now, after making a major geographic over five years ago (oh, yea- for all the "right" reasons..)I'm living way out in the country, and haven't been able to "hook-up" at meetings. Totally different scene here, been very hard for me to adjust, so guess what? I quit going. Now, you also know the end of the story, too... I ended up getting drunk.
You know, after all these years (I first got sober 11/24/78) and the ups and downs I've lived through in this program, what really pisses me off? The freakin' predictability.
We are, if we are sober today, so, so very lucky- all of us- because we all have our "war stories", those "Shoulda, Coulda, Oughta's" where we were lucky enough to escape (mostly) from the consequences of our actions. At least I have. I grew up in and around NYC, and was an absolute psychotic drunk- often stark raving mad, in and out of blackouts/greyouts. All that means is that I can tell some pretty tall tales of what I remember about my drinking.
My wife is like, 18 to 20 years sober herself, (I can't exactly remember right now) never had a slip, met her in a meeting 17 years ago, and she, too has quit going. But she hasn't slipped.
I don't know. Maybe because this is the anniversary of my very first sobriety date, I'm sentimental. Thanksgiving can do that to me- it always has been a hard holiday because of the family thing. So, I thought I'd write it all down here.
I haven't really told anyone about my slip, not my old sponsor in NYC, or anyone. Just my wife- she knew because I was out all night, etc, etc. Still, nothing has really happened, other than I lost the 13 years I had accumulated dry. Sort of like living in a void- not really here, not really there...
Is it like the onion, do I keep peeling layers off each time? God, when will I ever "get it"?
I think that the truth is, is that I had it, and I lost it. We used to say you have to give it away to keep it, which sounds simple, but is profound. After all these years, I actually have found many of the answers that I was looking for originally. The hard part for me has been staying in the solution, and walking the talk. When I quit going to meetings, I made a choice. There's that freakin' predictablity I mentioned earlier.
I'm choosing to share this with this group for me. I really do need to come clean. It feels good to be who I am today- I know that I am an alcoholic, and a damn lucky one, at that. I know I need a meeting. Yes, I'm like a kid- I don't want to take my medicine. I've been with many of those terminally ill- and you just get that way, sometimes. It's like you accept the consequences and just don't give a damn for a while. Then you come back to reality. That whole 7 stages of acceptance thing.
Anyway, I guess I'll be at a meeting today. I'm kinda looking forward to it, even though they don't count days out here like they used to in my old home groups. Strange how those first groups agendas stay with us? Some of you oltimers know what I mean...
Peace & serenity to you all...