Member: Bruce G.
Location: Memphis
Date: 10/31/99
Time: 1:09:15 AM

Comments

My name is Bruce, an alcoholic. How about self honesty for a topic. We came to be so good at lying and rationalizing that we failed to see that the one we were most often lying to was ourself. Old ways die hard, I have to carefully examine my motives and reasons, take careful inventory lest I slip back into this old habit.


Member: NAVYJOE
Location: MOUNTAIN VIEW & SUNNYVALE
Date: 10/31/99
Time: 2:53:32 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm NAVYJOE. Self-honesty is something that I thought I had when I got into the rooms. Evertime I heard that I must be RIGOROUS in my honesty, I thought that I had been. All I was doing in the past and when I first came into the rooms was to justify my behavior on my so called TWISTED honesty to conform to my way of thinking. When I came to be rigorous in my honesty is when everything hit the fan. I lied to myself for so many years till I came into AA. Today, I too question my motives and I have to do a constant self-process of me and my day at night. If I did bend the truth then only I can rectify it and be totally honest about my behavior. When I first got clean and sober I twisted the truth. Today, I can honestly say that I am RIGOROUSLY honest in my life. If I am not honest with myself, then I can not be capable of being honest with anyone else. I can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, BUT, I cannot fool myself or the GOD of my understanding. As the saying goes: THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE.


Member: Christa
Location: USA
Date: 10/31/99
Time: 7:22:14 AM

Comments

Self-honesty and alcoholism ... There have been signs of a "drinking problem" for quite a while, there was even somebody who said that I am an alcoholic about 2 years ago. I have ignored those signs, and the slight shaking of the hands was from too much coffee, nbot alcohol. Then suddenly, due to a major incident, it hit me that in fact I am an alcoholic. I admitted that I am powerless over alcohol, and from that time on (10 weeks ago) I was honest with myself as far as alcoholism is concerned. From that time on quitting drinking became easy for me.

Strength and peace.


Member: Mark C
Location: Shelter Island, NY
Date: 10/31/99
Time: 7:33:34 AM

Comments

Just celebrated my 4th anniversary last nite. I lied about my sober date the first 6 or 8 months I was in the rooms, got asked to speak at a rehab meeting by someone in my homegroup, this person thought I had aver 90 days, I don't think I had 24 hours but I couldn't tell them that (so I thought). Getting up in front of a bunch of rehab people and lying to them about how great it was to be sober and then answering questions afterwards was one of the hard things I'd done, what a lesson that was! Someone in my old homegroup said something I've never forgotten "You only have to tell the truth once", thanks for lettin' me share.


Member: Geri W
Location: Va
Date: 10/31/99
Time: 11:08:24 AM

Comments

Geri, a very grateful alcoholic here. Hi folks. I have to really concentrate on "seeing" the truth instead of what I want to believe about some things. Once I have searched the truth out from the wishful thinking, being honest isn't difficult. Have to be sure that the "rose colored" glasses aren't on or I'll miss the truth every time.


Member: Kathy
Location: Colorado
Date: 10/31/99
Time: 12:17:51 PM

Comments

Good morning, Kathy here, grateful recovering alcoholic in Colorado. Honesty? It's one of the hardest things sometimes, but in sobriety it's been an imperative, not an option. Before AA, I was able to lie, cheat, and twist in everything I did. Since AA, I've been blessed with a wonderful case of what I call 'twisted stomach' when I'm not being honest. Today I know that honesty is something I have to have if I'm going to survive at all, because without it, my serenity disappears, and my sobriety is in danger. In most cases, I've found if I'm struggling with honesty in a situation, what I'm really struggling with is my ego. I remind myself today that I'd rather be sober than right, and that seems to keep me in check. My sponsor is a great one at reminding me to ask myself a very important question: What do I really mean by what I'm doing or saying? Check your motives, she says, and when I do, I so often find that larger than life ego of mine driving my actions. When I weigh my actions against their possible consequences to my sobriety and my peace of mind, the right actions come easier. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: gwen
Location: colorado
Date: 10/31/99
Time: 1:23:42 PM

Comments

Thanks Kathy! hate it when i'm reminded that my ego is probably at the root of the problem. my sponsor always says "check your motives". what i find is that if i don't check them with another member of aa then it is all too easy to justify and rationalize my motives. the person i seem to be able to lie to best is myself. i have been sober some 24 hours and always get caught up in the "i should be better than this by now". have to remember that it is a whole lot better than it was. now whenever i am dishonest in any way, it begins to gnaw at my serenity. i just don't like being in pain anymore, so usually get honest before very much time passes. so much better. used to relish pain and self pity. would even plan the music, time and drinks so i could cry and feel bad. one last note. because i stay in close contact with my aa friends i can't get away with anything for very long, because they are good enough friends that they will call me on any BS-that i come up with even if it hurts my feelings! i just keep on putting one foot in front of the other and it gets different, if not better.


Member: Avril G
Location: Driffield UK
Date: 10/31/99
Time: 1:33:48 PM

Comments

I have to act my way into right thinking, not think my way into right acting. Honesty for me is the only way I can ever hope to have any peace and serenity in my life, but considering as a child, My mother used to say of me, "Our Avril's philosophy is why tell the truth, when a lie will suffice?"

What a label to be given at such an early age?? the first time I can ever remember telling an outright blatant lie was at the age of 5yrs old, and I continued up until I guess around 12 months sobriety, when I was getting nowhere fast. No booze, no programme, no sponsor, and definitely NO honesty. I was beat. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, and my memories of receiving my first 1yr sobriety chip were of reading the inscription on it...To thine own self be true...And I broke down in tears, and said, I am nowhere near one year sober, I have been lying to you all, I am still bingeing on and off, and I cannot take this chip and pretend otherwise. This was the turning point in my personal recovery, and I love what {{MARK C}} shared earlier, "You only have to tell the truth once" That is one for my Book of Forwards, thanks Mark. I have lied (By omission) on many occasions since, but generally, I try to develop an honesty due to which will never have to lie ever again, at all, BUT, I am a human being, and I can still tell little white ones now and then, but this is a great improvement on the way I lived for 30 some years. I even held bank accounts in someone elses name, and panicked every time I wrote out a cheque, in case someone recognised me and blew my cover!!! (This was to store the drug money in a safe place, after I had been declared bankrupt) I did not know the meaning of the word honesty, and today I try to live the AA way of life in it's entirety, and to practise the principles in all my affairs, and since this is about honesty, I tend to screw up big time, still, and this after 9yrs of sobriety!! But that is OK, too, as long as I do not try to convince nyone of anything different.

Welcome to all the newcomers, especially the ones who have chosen to contact me off-site, I am looking forward to getting to know you.

Goodie@cwcom.net

ICQ 47039989


Member: Avril G
Location: Driffield UK
Date: 10/31/99
Time: 2:12:15 PM

Comments

I have to act my way into right thinking, not think my way into right acting. Honesty for me is the only way I can ever hope to have any peace and serenity in my life, but considering as a child, My mother used to say of me, "Our Avril's philosophy is why tell the truth, when a lie will suffice?"

What a label to be given at such an early age?? the first time I can ever remember telling an outright blatant lie was at the age of 5yrs old, and I continued up until I guess around 12 months sobriety, when I was getting nowhere fast. No booze, no programme, no sponsor, and definitely NO honesty. I was beat. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, and my memories of receiving my first 1yr sobriety chip were of reading the inscription on it...To thine own self be true...And I broke down in tears, and said, I am nowhere near one year sober, I have been lying to you all, I am still bingeing on and off, and I cannot take this chip and pretend otherwise. This was the turning point in my personal recovery, and I love what {{MARK C}} shared earlier, "You only have to tell the truth once" That is one for my Book of Forwards, thanks Mark. I have lied (By omission) on many occasions since, but generally, I try to develop an honesty due to which will never have to lie ever again, at all, BUT, I am a human being, and I can still tell little white ones now and then, but this is a great improvement on the way I lived for 30 some years. I even held bank accounts in someone elses name, and panicked every time I wrote out a cheque, in case someone recognised me and blew my cover!!! (This was to store the drug money in a safe place, after I had been declared bankrupt) I did not know the meaning of the word honesty, and today I try to live the AA way of life in it's entirety, and to practise the principles in all my affairs, and since this is about honesty, I tend to screw up big time, still, and this after 9yrs of sobriety!! But that is OK, too, as long as I do not try to convince anyone of anything different.

Welcome to all the newcomers, especially the ones who have chosen to contact me off-site, I am looking forward to getting to know you.

Goodie@cwcom.net

ICQ 47039989


Member: Thomas H.
Location: E.P., COLO.
Date: 10/31/99
Time: 2:55:26 PM

Comments

I'm Thomas, alcoholic. This is my first "on line" meeting.Thank you Bruce for the topic.This is always something that is current for anyone no matter how long you have been around these rooms. For myself,self honesty is something that never stays the same. It changes, or grows as I do.I can't live on yesterday's sobriety and likewise with yesterday's honesty. What was acceptable to me yesterday(honesty wise), may be unacceptable to me today. The Big Book say's,"more will be revealed" and I'm proof of that, because I keep growing and learning how to stay sober, one day at a time. Thank's, Thomas.


Member: Dan H.
Location: Alaska
Date: 10/31/99
Time: 3:08:29 PM

Comments

Dan H. Alkie-Addict-Liar... What a great topic. I have 829 days sober....not all of them without lies, but I'm getting better. Progress not perfection. The deeper I get into AA, the easier it is for me to see the whitewashing of my lying....that gives me a chance to work on it more. The more I work on it, the better life gets. I thank God every day for all you people that have your helping hands out. Thank You All. dirtydan@alaska.net


Member: JCP ^/^
Location: Penn's Woods
Date: 10/31/99
Time: 4:04:06 PM

Comments

"The deception of others is nearly always rooted in the deception of ourselves."--As Bill Sees It, p. 17.

J here, a grateful alcoholic: I think I'm breaking the rules now (what else are they for, right?) but I used to know a Bruce G in Memphis, long ago; also I much more recently have dropped in on one Tower Group --these being separate items, I don't know Bruce from the group. Anyway, my spot:

dixyflier@adelphia.net

Meanwhile, there's an old juke song I quote too much because a line of it hangs in my head often, "Who doooo, who do you think you're fooling?" Paul Simon, I think.

There may be honest alcoholics somewhere, but in my experience we tend to be (or act like we're) the last to know. (I was just sitting minding my own business when all that vodka squirted into my mouth!)

A major motive for lying almost always goes something like: if he/she will believe it--that I've changed, advanced beyond my embarrassments--then just maybe I got a new shot at starting to believe my own lies again.

Even drunks like me who cannot be told much, learn like monkeys by trial and error that the only vehicle for reconciliation is the stone-cold truth.

All of which, he says in a post that's flat breaking the rules. I'll try to be contrite. Keep it simple!


Member: Mike B
Location: Swansea U.K.
Date: 10/31/99
Time: 4:54:10 PM

Comments

I'm Mike, an alcoholic, and I'm back in AA again after 2 years, because of a lack of self-honesty. I completely refused to acknowledge my alcoholism to myself, despite paying lip service to AA and its aims just to keep my wife off my back. I am trying to work it with sincerity now but Step 4 will plague me for some time.


Member: June P
Location: Colorado
Date: 10/31/99
Time: 6:07:27 PM

Comments

June alcoholic, first honest admission.alcohol allowed me to live in a pretend world. Made it up as I went along and of course I could convince all the other bar flies and old playmates of anything. Wow, reality bites. Today by learning to be honest, and I feel the color drain out of me when I am not, I have life that I would not have any other way and thats no lie. It took much humiliation and em-barrasment to get thru it all. In drinking days I had even convinced myself. See, I painted a rosey picture for others, the past my young life was too painful and ugly for anyone to know. Thru the fellowship and good counseling, I have become honest today. Keeps me sober and I wouldn't have life any other way.


Member: Bix
Location: Gilroy,Calif
Date: 10/31/99
Time: 7:01:13 PM

Comments

Hello Bix alcoholic here, "Honesty" <-- This was the kicker for me. I am a "retread" in AA and have come to believe that I couldn't stay sober till I got honest and admitted my alcoholism. I have been in and out of these rooms for a few years now and am now praying that this program will work. I've been down that road enough to see that if I go out and drink I can't keep my conscience quiet ! (It kills me inside) So today I work at being honest with myself and in all my affairs and this way I can feel good about myself and others.


Member: Kristin
Location: Upstate NY
Date: 10/31/99
Time: 7:24:15 PM

Comments

I'm Kristin and I am an alcoholic. Honesty is the only way i can stay sober. HOW Honesty Openness and Willingness. I know there are times when I am not perfectly honest, I am open to seeing it and willing to change it, that's HOW it works for me. Mike B. about the 4th step, don't let it plague you, let it set you free, delay may be fatal. It is not to be feared but to be revered. What a relief to clear the wreckage of my past. Do yourself a favor. Do it. And you too can be free from bondage of secrets and lies that keep us sick.


Member: Angus M
Location: Scotland
Date: 10/31/99
Time: 7:25:31 PM

Comments

My name is Angus and I am an alcoholic and have not had a drink for over 14 years I would not be as bold as to say I have been totally honest all that time, but I did not get any length of sobriety until I got honest about the total mess my life was in when I was drinking. A day at a time I attempt to work the programme and everything I have today is all thanks to AA. Easy does it but do it.


Member: Bruce A.
Location: Crowsnest,PA
Date: 10/31/99
Time: 9:05:03 PM

Comments

Bruce A. here, A real alcoholic, Thanks for the topic Bruce and all the comments family. To be honest with myself I first had to find out who I was. This came by working the steps, praying to a H.P. and doing inventory daily. Now that I know more about me I can be more honest with myself and others. If only we were completely honest. That is an ideal we have to work towards. I have been sober for over 16 yrs.(one day at a time) and I can honestly say I love you all. Thanks Bruce A.


Member: doug m.
Location: edmonton canada
Date: 10/31/99
Time: 9:22:46 PM

Comments

Hi my name is doug and I am a alcoholic well this is my first time meeting via the internet and wow is this ever different. it has been 110 days that I have been sober.Its like still being in the fog as though i am in a dream world.well honesty is a good topic cause I had to get honest with myself and face the reality of my new life which is very different out there.I guess you have to hit rock bottom before you actually get your stuff together. well I am still picking up the rubble and it will take me a long time before I can build my life up again. But thanks to my sponsor and to all of my new wonderful freinds and God i am making it day by day. I never had so many freinds in all my living life that i can call true freinds. acceptence that how they act to me and it feels great that a bunch of people that I new some for only a day and some for ninety days but these people care for me, you can trust and share with. And the Anonymity is what I really like about the program. Cause i can be me and get myself better without the whole world to know Thank you very much for A.A. because of this I know that I would have been dead. see ya again


Member: Bob H
Location: 57 N  136 W
Date: 10/31/99
Time: 10:41:39 PM

Comments

bob alcoholic Self honesty is illusory for me I think I have it but question my motives constantly. Dont really trust me sometimes -dont really know me others- I'm sober and confused. Used to be just confused. Thank you all for this lifeline online. I am an isolated believer in the true sense no meetings closer than a one hour plane ride. Send SEH. rsrlh2@yahoo.com


Member: Sue O.
Location: S. Yorks., UK
Date: 10/31/99
Time: 10:43:05 PM

Comments

Hi. My name's Sue. I'm an alcoholic. Everyone is praising honesty, but I think I may have just alienated a really good friend in AA through too much honesty. I really think I suffer from brutal honesty or suicidal honesty. I don't mean taking other people's inventory either. Just being too honest about my doubts and fears to the point where I make other people feel uncomfortable, and I guess criticized also. If you read this P I am so so sorry. I really value our friendship. Can you forgive me?????


Member: Sue O.
Location: S. Yorks., UK
Date: 10/31/99
Time: 10:43:57 PM

Comments

Hi. My name's Sue. I'm an alcoholic. Everyone is praising honesty, but I think I may have just alienated a really good friend in AA through too much honesty. I really think I suffer from brutal honesty or suicidal honesty. I don't mean taking other people's inventory either. Just being too honest about my doubts and fears to the point where I make other people feel uncomfortable, and I guess criticized also. If you read this P I am so so sorry. I really value our friendship. Can you forgive me?????


Member: John K
Location: Santa Clara
Date: 11/1/99
Time: 3:05:12 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm John K and I'm an alcoholic. Sue, please don't be too hard on yourself. Remember rule #62, "Don't take yourself too damn seriously."

AA has given me some hardcore friends who will weather any storm with or without me, and will always be there when I need them. In turn, I have learned to develop a thick skin when it comes to taking other people's problems personally. If I can maintain an attitude of humility and service (which I can't; the best I can do is try to depend on God,) then I do not become offended and neither am I offensive to others.

I have a great home group that actually meets in each others' homes, and you should hear the level of honesty that rises to the surface when alcoholics know each other intimately and pull each others' covers without pretense.

The level of honesty that sobriety requires comes from "making sure your own house is in order." I love you all.

NAVYJOE, is that really you??? It's rare for me to find someone online that I know from the "skin meetings," but I know I know you. Post something to the Coffee Pot, or show up at the Grapevine on Friday night. Lisa is the 45-minute, and I'm doing the 10.

I hope everyone has a blessed day.


Member: Pablo R.
Location: Midhudson Valley N.Y.
Date: 11/1/99
Time: 7:15:08 AM

Comments

Good morning fellow trudgers, I`m Pablo alcoholic and drug addict. Great topic, for years I prided myself on my honesty, didn`t think I had a need to lie to anyone. However, I was bullshiting myself all those years and didn`t even know it. I was in denial for a long time. However, AA has opened my eyes and ears to honesty and somtimes it gets very uncomfortable being that honest but, when I`m not being honest my stomack does flip flops. I bring these feelings up at meetings, and they tell me that I need to get comfortable being uncomfortable when it comes to honesty. For this drunk, it can be very easy to resort back to my old ways, that`s why I keep coming. I`m here because I`m not all there. Thank for lettig me share P.S. Avril, progress not perfection pablofromwalden@webty.net


Member: Avril G
Location: Driffield UK (E Yorks)
Date: 11/1/99
Time: 8:00:01 AM

Comments

{{{SUE O}}} (sorry all for double post) I do not think anyone can alienate someone else by being rigorously honest, though for some people, 'Truth Hurts' but it would be wrong of me not to be honest in order not to offend someone. If I am honest, I can only hope that people will understand the truth and NOT be offended, and those who are offended really do need to hear it Feel free to e-mail if you want to vent more.

Goodie@cwcom.net


Member: Elaine C.
Location: Texas
Date: 11/1/99
Time: 8:01:52 AM

Comments

Hi everyone, Elaine alcoholic here. Bob H I can relate to your feelings I feel the same way. Don't really trust myself or know myself either. It is very confusing. I doubt myself even when I think I'm being honest. Sometimes I'm not sure I know what honesty is for sure. I am very confused but staying sober. Thank God! Thanks for letting me share. Elaine C


Member: Marv F.
Location: Calgary Canada
Date: 11/1/99
Time: 8:56:54 AM

Comments

Hi everyone!Marv here,great meeting!This is my first post.Oh ya,Iam an alcoholic and Ihave been sober for awhile.This topic of self honesty brought back a memory of a friend of mine,who at every meeting would get up at the podium and spout:Honesty,open mindedness,and williness are indispensable and you could only be defeated by an attitude of belligerent denial.Then he would carry on and say"There is a principle which is a bar against all information,which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance-that principle is contempt prior to investigation" Billy S. is gone now to that Big AA meeting in sky and I miss him but his memory lives on.Thanks for being here without you all I wouldn't be here either!


Member: Ken W.
Location: Maryland
Date: 11/1/99
Time: 10:56:29 AM

Comments

I'm Ken in Maryland and I'm definatly an alcolholic. Self honesty is a very appropriate topic. I had wrist surgery friday and was prescribed Demoral...I used to love to take pills and drink and within just 3 days I had to spill them down the sink ! I was not in pain and the thought of taking them was really strong. Hence..I felt that I had to police myself to remain sober. Cause it wouldn't have been long before I wanted to wash them down with a quart of J. Daniels.I thank god everyday for the blessings this program has given to me...for I would surely be dead without it.


Member: Joanna
Location: NW
Date: 11/1/99
Time: 12:52:28 PM

Comments

Joanna-Alcoholic, Very grateful to be sober today! Self Honesty, WOW! I had and have no idea the level at which I go to, to deceive myself. I have the clarity that God allows me to have. I believe that God only gives me the ability to grow when I will be able to handel the outcome. I find the conflict starts when "I" think that I will not get something I want or lose something that I think I posess. God moves me at a pace that is right for me. I love my life and my sobriety. It is not always calm and comfortable, but it is always in Gods Grace. I am really working on steps 3 and 7 lately and Faith and Humility are essential today. WOW what a change from over 3 years ago(1238 days). I do still find myself turning my back on the "right" thing and end up doing what I want, the outcome? Well thats not hard, it usually hurts me or someone eles and I end up having amends to make and self respect to regain. They say the road gets narrow, I do believe that is true and today I am grateful for that. Thanks agian for the topic and I hope everyone has a wonderful and sober week. Much love, Joanna


Member: Fred M
Location: MD
Date: 11/1/99
Time: 1:00:52 PM

Comments

I'm Fred and I'm an alcoholic, sober today by the grace of God. Honesty and introspection are the keys to my sobriety and continued freedom. When I drank, my whole life was a lie. From the lie that I wasn't an alcoholic to the lie that I was a good husband, father, and Christian. There were lots of little lies and deceits, as well, too many to mention here. Through the lens of sobriety and the Big Book, I try to be my own best critic. With God's help, I see that I'm not a bad guy, but by no means am I perfect. There's loads of room for improvement. When I see a defect in someone else, a few hours or days later, God finds a way of pointing out that I still have or once had the same defect. When I blame someone else for a problem, I soon see that it was all or partly me that caused it. Living honestly is living courageously. It requires continuous self-inventory, and immediate corrective action when mistakes and lies are discovered. When I first told the truth in 1979 (by saying I'm an alcoholic and begged God to come back into my life), part of the deal was no more cover-ups, no more deceit, no more lies. This way of living is a continuos struggle, and at the same time, it is a gift. The reward is freedom. Thanks for letting me share. Love, Fred


Member: Terri S
Location: Wis.
Date: 11/1/99
Time: 1:31:02 PM

Comments

Hi,every body I'm Terri a Greatful Alcoholic, (Self Honesty) Thanks Bruce for the topic,The real neat thing i'm learning about Honesty is there are so many levels, when i slip off one i feel it in my stomache, Thank God for the Steps of A.A. Keep it simple, like the steps are. but that does not mean there easy, the longer i'm around & live the steps the more freedom of the promises i'm blessed with one day at a time. have a great 24 hours everyone.


Member: Oba
Location:
Date: 11/1/99
Time: 2:04:51 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Oba a gratefully recovering alcoholic. Self-honesty is still a very, difficult thing for me. For me, drinking involved so much deception (deceiving others as well as myself). I'm trying to find the courage to live life honestly, without alcohol.


Member: Randy C.
Location: Tucson
Date: 11/1/99
Time: 2:22:24 PM

Comments

Hi I'm Randy alcoholic. Fred M. pretty much told my story, I was doing all the things I thought I was suppose to do to make all of you think I was OK. I built my whole life based on the lie that I was OK, Like a house of cards with one faulty card in the center holding the whole mess up. Doing all the right things for all the wrong reasons, but in my mind knowing the real differance. This is what I believed drove me to do all the wrong things for all kinds of stupid reasons, I was in total disscust with myself for not being true to myself. An the self honesty? I precieved myself to be a very honest person, which helped lock me in my denial. I could not hear until I could hear, I could not see until I could see. And I could have done niether with out Gods Grace. Keep the Faith Randy


Member: Frank
Location: NJ USA
Date: 11/1/99
Time: 3:22:57 PM

Comments

Hi everyone, Frank, Alcoholic, amongst other things. Check this quote out. 12 & 12 page 60. I strive to be as honest as I can.

"Somehow, being alone with God doesn't seem as embarrassing as facing up to another person. Until we actually sit down and talk aloud about what we have so long hidden, our willingness to clean house is still largely theoretical. When we are honest with another person, it confirms that we have been honest with ourselves and with God."

I thought I honestly wanted to stay sober the last time but I had lost this connection. I had hardly any contact with the fellowship or a sponsor. As far as inventory goes, I held on to some of the worst items in stock. I eventually reached a point where I didn't care anymore. After the 'last straw' I got drunk.

Now, honestly sharing and talking to my sponsor and other alcoholics is most important. I am involved, have a home group, and have stuck around. Through God's grace I will have a year sober this month after 1 1/2 years of bouncing in and out.

I know AA meetings are needed to maintain my spiritual condition. I learned I am not always a good judge of what kind of 'condition' I'm in.

I like what posted about honesty, motives and brutal honesty. I had heard it said that there is a fine line between honesty and stupidity.

Peace


Member: Justin
Location: uk
Date: 11/1/99
Time: 8:30:50 PM

Comments

Hi. My name is Justin. I'm a newbie so go easy. Lying comes so easy to me but several things have happened that I realize I have to be truthful. I'm not ready for this. At least, I dont think I am. It's a big step posting on this board. Up in school, I drank my way through college...Drank and slept around and overdosed on the internet. It's amazing I still graduated magna cum laude. Now, i realize that I drink and abuse the internet as a way of escaping my life. i don't want to deal with the stuff that went on in my past so I shut down and retreat into unhealthy habits. When I'm not overworking myself, I drink, over-exercise, abuse the internet all to punish myself for my perceived inperfections. I want to change. i want to have a healthy life. I'm ready to face the hard sobering facts of my life and I'm ready to do it sober.


Member: Pamela P
Location: Colorado
Date: 11/1/99
Time: 11:40:36 PM

Comments

Pam acoholic. Gwen hello! Did you read Avril's post "act my way into right thinking!" I needed that! Thanks!


Member: Big John M.
Location: Modesto, CA
Date: 11/1/99
Time: 11:42:35 PM

Comments

Hi, everybody. I'm John, a real alcoholic. Today I have 1916 consecutive 24 hour periods of sobriety by the grace of God! Absolutely by the grace of God! The intelligence needed to acquire 3 college degrees; the will and strength needed to be an olympic level athelete;professional counseling; a six foot tall bookcase full of pop-psychology self-help books and philosophy and religious books; NONE OF THAT could get me sober and keep me sober. None of that stuff kept me from destroying two families, my health and my spirit. Today, by the grace of God, and this blueprint for living in our Program, I am once again a "human being" albeit imperfect, but loveable. At least, my Higher Power thinks so. What Fred shared about honesty was absolutely RIGHT ON for me anyway. This way of life today is just one of many, many gifts my HP has given me. As Bill W. said, ": forget the quotation marks; I don't have it in front of me. The jist of it was the point of life is not seeking happiness but in growing and learning and sharing what we learn. Happiness comes, when it comes, as a gift; a by-product of "right Living." I thank God every night for this Program, all of you who held your hands out to me, and the by-products of this way of life I have today; and they are a whole lot more than just happiness. Too many to list here but when I start to climb on my pity-pot my sponser has me make a real list and it works! Thank you all! Good Night and God Bless!


Member: Rob R.
Location: B.C. Canada
Date: 11/2/99
Time: 3:35:29 AM

Comments

Hi: Dear Friends. Rob Alcoholic sober today by the grace of God and the fellowship of the program.Thank you all for sharing your honesty.As for self honesty,I can honestlly say that I am a lot better in that department today than I have been at any other point in my life.The reason being that the pain of not being got too great and when I came to that realization there were to opptions for me.#1 go get drunk.#2 accept it and decide what i could do to change it.Thank God I chose #2 Three days from today I will be celebrating 7 years of sobriety.I remind myself each day I am an alcoholic,and that the program works if I work it,I dont know how much more honest than that I can be with my self.


Member: Paul Q
Location: Toronto
Date: 11/2/99
Time: 7:00:37 AM

Comments

I'm a 2 face Lier an Actor on a Stage!

The alcoholic leads a double life Page 73 Big Book... For 12 1/2 yrs in the "fellowship" I chased a TIME LOG... medallions meant I was somone in AA......but I got sicker...... 50% of us recover body disease only..... We have to work the BIG BOOK... Its through the process (path) that GOD helps me to find the truth and honesty, open mind, willingness..are the 3 main ingredients.

pquigley@sprint.ca


Member: Tad C
Location: Kansas City
Date: 11/2/99
Time: 9:44:49 AM

Comments

If I could really see myself, as I am... not a shining example of recovery for all to be in awe of and to follow and to be concerned with and to pay attention to...not a stagnant wretch, consumed with self-pity, selfishness, self loathing, and self importance, .......BUT - a simple small vital piece of the world, occasionally stepping out of myself to help others and learn the meaning of joy through service to those around me, to find God through the practice of preparing myself with the help of a sponsor and the steps to be of maximum service to God and my fellow man.


Member: Bill S
Location: MT
Date: 11/2/99
Time: 11:17:16 AM

Comments

dishonesty fear and ego have caused me to lose a very important person in my life. even though i have been on the program for a long time these character defects seem to creep back in my life again and again. now i am paying the ultimate price for letting these defects run me. if i were remotely self honest i would have done things differently. but now it is too late she is gone and i am dieing inside from hurt. my aa buddys say i need to go back to step 6 and work it hard. i have really screwed things up but i have hope that i can fix what i have done if i am self honest.


Member: gwen
Location: colorado
Date: 11/2/99
Time: 11:54:11 AM

Comments

today it isn't the honesty with myself that's a problem. i have to stand up for myself with another person and just have a hard time with that. i always want them to get what i am thinking by osmosis. somehow must be that old self-centered fear showing up. it is so much better than it used to be. don't ever want to go back to the way it was. my worst day sober is better than my best day drunk. hi pam. now we are obsessing about obsessing! what a deal! remember it does get different.


Member: Chris H.
Location: Florida
Date: 11/2/99
Time: 12:39:58 PM

Comments

Hi everyone--Chris H. here Alcoholic/ addict/Liar! Boy did my HP Want me to e at this meeting! Because of some Physical Problems (CFS) , I have not been to hardly any meeting This last year ( really in the last three to four years...I'm trying to be really honest). I feel really guilty about that but I have been in close contact with my sponsor..and tried to work the program as best I could... I just started these meeting a couple of months age, and they have really helped..My 6 year anniversary was yesterday and I feel guilty about recieving a medallion.. I haven't had a drink ,but I have struggled with my eating disorder (back at the therapist--its better now..thoough not perfect). Have really struggled with my compulsive shopping ( I haven't done it but it has really been calling me!).All this to be honest, because that is what kept me going the first three years...I always said that that was the key for me because that was the hardest thing for me to do. My stomach has been killing me lately, because I have't been honest with myself and God....The other way is so much better!!!!Meetings were what kept me honest wqith myself...It was always a safe place where I could (or would) listen to GOd..THank Him that we have the GOd of second shances...!!!Will be gone for a week but back the next...will attend then..Thanks for being here!


Member: barb
Location: pittsburgh
Date: 11/2/99
Time: 4:31:18 PM

Comments

self honesty comes in bits and pieces, more will be revealed, when the student is ready the teacher will appear


Member: Paula B.
Location: East Coast
Date: 11/2/99
Time: 5:45:31 PM

Comments

Hi, Oh, Yes honesty. I am truly not honest with myself. Yes, I am miserable in my marriage, yes I feel a failure in my job and yes I have low self-esteem. I know the escapes, but I don't know the routes.


Member: Carol
Location: Georgia (USA)
Date: 11/2/99
Time: 5:59:32 PM

Comments

The whole program is about staying honest about who and what I am---a self centered, overly fearful drunk so that I won't return to drinking. So I don't drink - ever - find a higher power (the group, the Big Book, a sponsor) to help relieve me of the bondage of self and to take away my fears. In the meantime I also ask for honesty, openmindness and willingness to recover. I needed to hear myself say that! Thanks.


Member: Mark W
Location: Notts, UK
Date: 11/2/99
Time: 7:04:42 PM

Comments

I'm always fully aware that drink is killing me. I lost my job last Wednesday and have since been on a bender. I'm not sure that my 'habit' caused my redundancy as I only missed work once in two years as a result of getting drunk. I've been lining up new work and can't help wondering if I'm fit and able, given my performance this last week. If you wanted a recovery story, I'm sorry. I'm a bit baffled myself, to be honest.


Member: Ladd G.
Location: Wetumpka Al.
Date: 11/2/99
Time: 7:13:52 PM

Comments

It has been a long haul from honesty As I know it today,compaired to what I thought even a few years ago.Today I am capable of looking in the mirrior and taking a true inventory(sometimes I must look hard).I dont know that I will ever obtain true inlightenment,But I dont distrust the person in the mirrior today.Its been a long time comeing.You people tought me well,thanks for this day sober and the chance to share it with you........By the way,rule 62 Really should be followed...in my humble openion,love you all..Ladd


Member: Steve D.
Location: Montgomery, AL
Date: 11/3/99
Time: 12:46:13 AM

Comments

Hello everyone, my name is Steve D., and I'm an alcoholic. My dear friend Ladd G. invited me to your meeting, and I appreciate the sharing on honesty. I can't add much to the excellent comments, only that as with most of my recovery, I need my sponsor, my sponsees, and my home group all to help me with honesty. I am still capable of shading the facts about how my actions affect others, and I'm truly blessed to have others in my life who are willing to check me on my "stuff." Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Todd
Location: Colorado
Date: 11/3/99
Time: 1:03:45 AM

Comments

Hello every one I haven't had a drink since Oct 4 1986 for that I owe each of you and HP. I have had a back injury and have had to take some pills. I try not to take them unless the pain gets bad, sometimes it hurts more because I do that but I am doing it with eyes open to the consequences. I got to thinking that I wasn't hurt anymore like maybe I could be taking it to easy on myself. So I started to ignore the problem. Taking a pair of socks out of the top drawer of a dresser my back went out again. Pain if it's sharp enough can motivate you to see the truth. LOL Thanks for helping my HP keep my butt alive.


Member: Pam H
Location: LGV, WA
Date: 11/3/99
Time: 1:22:44 AM

Comments

Hi. Pam Alcoholic/Addict here. Honesty. I've think of that alot. I am not working the program right if I am not being honest with my self as well as others. i guess you can caal that rigorious honesty. And part of the HOW in How it works. If I am not honest wth mysely or others I know that there is something wrong. I want to stay clean and sober so I have learned to catch myself and fix it. That's where I have to be opened minded and willing. Today if I say or do something that is wrong I try to make my amends asap. By the grace of God he has given me a few 24 hours. The last time I got clean and sober was in 1992 and still going. Thank You God. For the newcomers it is suggested to read the first 164 pages of the big book. Go to meetings, get a sponsor, work the steps and don't pick up that drink or drug. Just keep coming back to meeting skin or cyber. I haven't been on this meeting for quite awhile. Was in hospital with brain aneurisn hemmeroging was ther for 3 weeks. By the grace of Goid I am alive. When I came out of my comatos stage the first words out of my mouth to the nurses was that I wasn't drinking or drugging. Imagine that. I've rattled on enough. Remember 1 day at a time. It does Work.


Member: John Mc
Location: U.K.
Date: 11/3/99
Time: 8:48:07 AM

Comments

"When the pupils ready, the teacher will appear". Wow! That brings up some bad memories of when I first came round. Like, " How the f**k will I know when I'm ready. "How the f**k will I recognise the teacher". "I would'nt be here if I was'nt f**king ready !?!?" "Patronising b*****d's." Even more confusing and upsetting when they all seem to have a different ways of doing it, whatever the f%%k it is!?! You may think my example a bit strong, but is it??? It made me feel, confused, stupid, inadequate, fearful, angry, patronised and more. And of course being a newcomer I could'nt tell you lot, you'd think I was stupid and alkies can't have that. Can they? Something to do with "bondage of self" pride etc.etc. Know what I mean? Like, do you identify?? How did I manage to survive such DANGEROUS crap? By the Grace of God, working through people, I met the man described on p.p.18 of the B/Book. He LAUNCHED me on a VIGOROUS course of ACTION as described by the CLEAR CUT PRECISE INSTRUCTIONS in said book. Up until Steps 4&5 I "thought" I was a pretty honest guy (denial)!! Steps 4&5 'gently' broke through the denial, showed me what I really had to get honest with!! Helped me see myself as others saw me, WOW!!. BIG stuff. Having highlighted my character 'defects, shortcomings' whatever the hell YOU wan't to call them, in Steps 4&5 the rest of the Steps showed me how to deal with them. Life changing stuff, yet so 'SIMPLE'. If there are any newcomers out there, don't despair, your not going mad! There is a solution, it's in the B/Book of A.A. Get to a meeting. Ask to speak to the man/woman described on p.p.18, there should be at least one there if it's too truly claim to be an A.A. meeting! If they don't have such a person, there are many more 'meetings' you can try, thank God. 'Seek and you will find',theres another one, as long as you know how and what to seek! I sincerely hope this post helps. As for you people who use this 'Language', do you ever stop to think! What am I actually saying??! And, before I go. If your home meeting does'nt have a person/s readily identifiable as the person described on p.p.18, please ask yourself "Why not". We call it taking inventory!


Member: ???
Location: ???
Date: 11/3/99
Time: 11:21:38 AM

Comments

JOHN MAC RULES OK?????

Get back to the coffeepot bleeding deacon. Maybe they might like to hear YOU share YOUR ES&H (You do have some do you??) Maybe not, having read this crap.

Go thump your big book where it is needed (Though where is THAT????Pray tell)


Member: Pat C
Location:
Date: 11/3/99
Time: 1:01:19 PM

Comments

Hello, Pat C. I KNOW I'm an alcoholic. I need help this is my first time here please tell me how do I start with AA? Thanks


Member: Terri
Location: colorado
Date: 11/3/99
Time: 2:50:25 PM

Comments

Terri alcoholic. I am struggling right now and I think it is because I have trouble being honest. I have trouble because I am afraid of letting people know me, as well as knowing myself. I'm getting started on my 4th step which I know is the answer and will set me free. I am just feeling a little shakey and the thought of drinkng came up last night. This is really hard for me and I appreciate what everyone has shared it helps me remember I am not unique. Pat, glad your here keep coming back.


Member: Rie
Location: Chicagoland area
Date: 11/3/99
Time: 4:44:07 PM

Comments

Justin from UK,

Who knows if you'll actually read this, seeing as how you'll have to scroll down endlessly.

I too am a "newbie." It's hard for me too. Just this week, I walked thru the doors of a local AA meeting, not having a clue as to what I'd encounter. I pictured gruff men in a smoke-filed room.

And it turned out, there WERE some gruffish looking fellows, but listening to them, I heard the most honest testimonials of struggle and recovery. And there were a number of women too. And people of all ages and backgrounds.

I guess the point I'm making is -- being in the same boat as you [hopefully not the Titanic!] -- I totally understand you're feeling of hesitancy or "what-the-hell-am-I-doing-here"-ness. All I can say is that going to a meeting and opening myself up to this group has started to make me feel less alone and has given me hope of overcoming compulsive drinking. The people there were supportive, dammit! They've all experienced something similar to what you and I are dealing with!

There's this whole spiritual thing going on for most that I have yet to understand, but heck, it worked for them!

Anywho, good luck!!

RIE, Chicagoland area


Member: Pat C
Location:
Date: 11/3/99
Time: 6:06:32 PM

Comments

Hi, Pat C again, alcoholic. I know I was brief in my earlier plea for assistance. I know the topic is honesty, and for once I am being honest with myself. I NEED HELP!! I am so disgusted with myself. I hate drinking, hate the way it makes me feel afterwards; hate it for what it is doing to myself, my family, my job. I've called AA so many times to find out where meetings were being held, but didn't get the nerve to go. It seems as if you all have it so together, I want to be in that moment. I try so hard to stop, but after the second day I get such cravings I can't wait to leave work so I can get home to have a drink. Please help me. Thank you.


Member: Liz E.
Location: Southeast USA
Date: 11/3/99
Time: 8:29:51 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm an alcoholic, my name is Liz. For Pat C. get to a meeting! Don't try to figure out why, how or what. I couldn't stop on my own. I had to have the help of people just like me. In the rooms of AA is where you find them. Just take your butt annd your mind will eventally catch up! On being honest, I had to get honest about my disease first because I didn't know I had one until I got to the rooms of AA. When I got there, there were people honestly speaking about themselves. My first step was to get honest about themselves and this gave me the courage to get honest, without the drink. my disease-what it made me do, how it destroyed my self esteem, my finances, my family, my mind and other relationships. I pray for honesty on a daily basis. I know this alcoholic, left up to herself will lie and destroy. I have to have a power greater than myself to help me in such matters. A room full of people doing what I'm doing, makes all the difference to me! Thanks for allowing me to share.

PS

Pat C. - get there!


Member: Deborah
Location: Nevada
Date: 11/3/99
Time: 10:39:30 PM

Comments

Pat C, I was in the same boat with you just a week ago. Trust me, Making the call and walking into that 1st meeting is the toughest part. Just do it. If you do, all of the answers will come to you. Keep coming back here and go to the coffee pot if you haven't already (it's on this site) I have gotten more support and love here in one week than I have ever gotten before!!! Let us know about your 1st meeting.. God Be With You. DS


Member: June P
Location: Colorado
Date: 11/4/99
Time: 8:15:00 AM

Comments

June alcoholic, honestly ???? There are those of us who are homebound. Meetings online, be it coffee pot, this discussion and the step are my lifeline to sobriety. I am grateful that in early sobriety, I was still able to go to meetings and sober up. I am grateful because I would not be here today, in a Sober state of mind. I do not know exactly what you mean by bleeding deacons. In my case, I have wounds that never bled and unless I am allowed to let that poison out, I can not heal. Thank you all for helping me stay clean and sober today. God Bless and Keep us all that way.


Member: Walter S
Location: Nevada
Date: 11/4/99
Time: 9:12:09 AM

Comments

Good Morning Everyone, My name is Walter and I am an Alcolholic! Excellent topic. When I was new I heard the phase of "Going to any length" After enjoying years of a wonderful sobriety, I believe that going to any length is no only Honesy, but Self Honesty. We can fool anyone, but be must be accountable to ourselves and our Higher Power. When we are truely comfortable with all our living issues within ourselves then we are being honest with the world around us. Welcome to all the newcomers. May each of you experience the miracle !! WJS


Member: Gary S
Location: Southern, CA
Date: 11/4/99
Time: 11:09:28 AM

Comments

Hi,

My name is Gary and I am an alcholic. I was sober for eighteen years and then I decided I was cured. I was not honest with myself and started drinking again about a year ago and what a mistake that was. I keep swearing each day that I am going to stop drinking and then change my mind toward evening and start drinking again. This certainly is a miserable existence and the bad thing is I know how much better life can be without drinking. I am a black out drinker and there simply is no more fun in drinking for the price you have to pay. I am going to go two meeting today and hopefully my drinking days will be over. My face looks like a tomato, I am sweating like crazy and have the shakes. God help me make it through the day.


Member: Lisa E
Location: Yonkers, New York
Date: 11/4/99
Time: 12:38:04 PM

Comments

Hi. My name is Lisa, I'm an alcoholic. Self-honesty is the perfect topic for me at this point. Thank you for sharing all, Good luck Gary, keep coming back. Even though i am not drinking now, the way i am going i may as well be. i have an incredible knack of getting in my way. im not going to meetings and i am miserable. im in college and it is going badly. i know i took too much on but the mess i have made seems irrepairable even though i know deep down it is not. i keep taking my will back. lately i have thought about what it would be like if i took another drink. i want the pain to go away. im tired of having to struggle for everything. Someone please kick me off the pity-pot. I hate this disease. im sorry i am rambling at this point. i have alot of anger in me too. My e-mail is candide99@prodigy.net Thank you for listening


Member: JIM H
Location: LEBANON PA
Date: 11/4/99
Time: 5:36:41 PM

Comments

when the big book talks about rigorous honesty, they are talking about self honesty.If you (or me) can not be honest with ourselves, who else matters?I can sit here all night long and tell you alot of bull! But the only one I'm hurting is myself.The word HONESTY is in the first page of "how it works" 5 times. So if you are at all serious about getting clean and sober, then, you must get honest with yourselves first.


Member: Jacqueline
Location: Canada
Date: 11/4/99
Time: 5:50:45 PM

Comments

Hi my name is Jacqueline and I am an alcoholic, I beleive I am getting to know myself more every day I am searching, I have recently and finally gave up sugar as it was reeking havoc in my life. If God spares me I will be sober 11 years on the 11th, and I still need to search myself everyday to keep myself from slipping back in to old deceitful ways. Lying to ourselves is the easiest thing on this earth to do if it makes us feel better than...in some way gotta let go of that EGO thing, know what I mean? Thanks all and have another good 24 hours! Peace, Jacqueline ;O) keepsmiling@webhart.net


Member: Jane J.
Location: Burbank, Ca
Date: 11/4/99
Time: 8:25:48 PM

Comments

Hi all Jane, alcoholic. Didn't have time to read all the comments on the topic but what came to mind for me on the topic of Self honesty was something I heard at a meeting. A woman friend of mine shared that "you can't save your face and your ass at the same time!!" When I'm busy trying to save face or make myself look good, there's a pretty good chance ego and dishonesty are involved in the process.


Member: Fran W
Location: Fife Lake, MI
Date: 11/4/99
Time: 8:50:23 PM

Comments

I am not being honest with myself. I had surgery recently and have been on painkillers. I am addicted to them and I am scared. I can't quit taking them. Rigorous honesty!! I feel in a way I am being honest, but I can't stop the destructive behavior.


Member: Rick S
Location: BC NV
Date: 11/4/99
Time: 10:34:53 PM

Comments

My name is Rick and I am still an alcoholic... Like most of us when I first got clean/sober I figured honesty meant what I told to or behaved like around others. That type of dishonesty is easy to justify, feelings may get hurt, or they may not like me, or it might cost me something I have, or...well you know the drill. The reality was that as long as I blamed other people and circumstances for my problems I did not have to face the fact that I did not control the high anymore it controlled me. People told me I was an alcoholic and my reply was "yea I am if you don't like it get the f---k away from me". See It wasn't my problem it was theirs, I was hurting no one but myself. Of course this wasn't true either cause I needed to do physical harm to people to make myself feel better. But "I never hurt anyone that didn't deserve it". My lie was that I was still in control of my life because I owned cars, a home, held the same job for 15 years, etc... I couldn't do this if my life had become unmanageable. Honesty came at a price for me, a knife fight that almost killed me. I became honest about the second half of the 1st step first, my life was definitely unmanageable! After that, looking at why it was that way, the powerless over alcohol also became pretty hard to deny. Honesty for me is remembering I am responsible for my own actions no matter what the other person or thing does, and I am still an alcoholic even though my life is no longer unmanageable. Rigorous honesty is for and about me...not anyone else. Seee Yaaa !!!


Member: Big John M.
Location: Modesto, CA
Date: 11/4/99
Time: 11:53:12 PM

Comments

Hi everyone. I'm John, a real alcoholic. I haven't been able to read the postings for a couple of days ( my internet stuff couldn't connect with the server) for reasons I'll never know. Anyway, I was busy catching up on the great sharing from people's hearts when I suddenly felt very uncomfortable; even fearful.

We are a vast group of people afflicted with the same disease, and, graced with the same solution. But being different people with different backgrounds and experiences, we have different opinions. These differences make us, as a group, the dynamic, constantly growing entity that meets the recovery needs of all who seek it. ie. the decision long ago to use "a God of your own understanding", or Higher Power instead of God or Allah or whatever.

Anyway, when I first came to A.A. some time ago, I felt for the first time in my life that I was finally ok; accepted, where I belonged, at home, safe, secure etc. etc. I had NEVER felt just (ok) in my entire life. I was a massive overachiever because of this. But when I hear a personal attack on one AA by another, instead of just sharing a difference of opinion, I lose all feeling of security; this is the right place for me; I am home at last, etc. etc.

I had that experience recently in what has been my home group for over five years and I am still asking for guidance on whether or not to find another home group, or stick around and learn what I am supposed to learn or whatever.

I personally had no problem whatsoever with what John Mc shared; nor did I think it was too strong. I too, as a newcomer felt confused, stupid, inadequate, fearful, angry, patronised and a whole Hell of a lot more. I used to rant and rave at meetings nightly in early sobriety. By the Grace of God and the blueprint of this living Program, I don't find that necessary today. And, I have no reason to shut down someone who does. Sooner or later, in His time, they will find someone like the individual on page 18 in the BB, and the process of growth will begin. Or, they won't, and whatever is going to happen is going to happen. Who am I, or anyone else to say what will or should happen.

I do whatever I can to help those who extend their hand in need, and I Have no control over what they choose to do in the end. When someone shares something in a meeting I totally disagree with, or just plain don't like, I use that as an opportunity to take a really good look at myself as I almost always find that what I can't stand in others is what I can't stand in myself. Then, I realize that once again, my Higher Power presented me with a lesson about my own defects. Sometimes, when I just plain don't agree and I have a turn to share, I just speak about myself; my feelings, thoughts, ideas; making it quite clear that what I am saying only applies to me. But the thinking process has kicked in and I will be thinking about, and learning from, that which made me so uncomfortable for many days to come.

Thank God for all our differences! Thank God for the vitality and growth in our Program! Thank God for the unamed member that attacked John Mc! You got my brain churning and my BB pages turning! Thank all of you out there. Good night and God Bless!

P.S. Forgive my second post. I needed it! If you can't, talk to your sponser about it.


Member: Greg C.
Location: Annapolis, MD
Date: 11/5/99
Time: 2:59:29 AM

Comments

Hi. I'm Greg and i'm an alcoholic. Though i've been sober for a while, i still get into tough spots. Mostly when it comes to frustration and anger. I have a newborn son, (thanx) and i've been really struggling with impatience. for the past 5 days, i can't get him to sleep at night. having been without a meeting for 3 months only aggravates this further.

i felt i needed to talk to someone before i get nuts! my point in righting this, though it be off the topic, is Thank God for the rooms (even the cyber ones) where i can come to get this frustration out without owing some barkeep a hundred bucks or filling out a police report.

now that i've ranted, i feel much better. my son is crying so i'd better go now. thanx for letting me share.


Member: Dan H.
Location: Cleveland
Date: 11/5/99
Time: 11:04:27 AM

Comments

I'm Dan and I am an alcoholic.

Honesty is certainly a gift of our higher power. This includes self-honesty. I just went through a difficult period where every day after saying the third step prayer, I stormed into work to force my will on the job. Six weeks of misery, unable to meditate effectively, praying by menu, and feeling nearly as mentally miserable as when I was drinking. I thought I was working my program: praying, going to meetings, trying (I thought) to accept. What I was not doing was putting my trust in a Power greater than myself and HONESTLY placing my will and life in His care. Only by the grace of God and the fellowship of AA did I get through this without picking up a drink. Spiritual progress, not spiritual perfection, is all that is required.

Thanks for sharing, Big John. These meetings are just about the only places that I know for sure that I belong. I must refuse to allow intolerance to keep me away. When intolerance inevitably raises its head, I need to accept it as a part of our disease, and get on with that which keeps me sober one day at a time.


Member: Roy S
Location:
Date: 11/5/99
Time: 8:46:34 PM

Comments

Self-honesty is something that I thought I had until I finally wised up to the truth. I denied the drinking problem so long that I really thought I did not have one. Once I came to realize that I did, I knew that I had not been as self-honest as I thought. Luckily AA has given me the chance to amend my mistakes and become the person that I once thought I already was. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Phil S
Location: UK
Date: 11/5/99
Time: 8:48:23 PM

Comments

Please forgive me for posting off the topic but the post earlier today from Gary S in CA demands a response from me. Gary, change a few numbers around (12 years sober, 18m drinking, now six days sober again) and your history would be mine. Last Saturday I was there too - shaking, sweating, stinking - I don't need to tell you. I too decided get back to meetings (and I hope your story continues to match mine) found the same support I had left behind, felt like I was coming home. OK, so I couldn't sleep for two days, was exhausted, nervous, jumpy but I knew immediately that this was the right decision. In my case, the improvement in my health and wellbeing in six short days has been nothing short of miraculous. I really think that, if we get a second chance, the lessons we learnt in AA the first time around are waiting there to help us. They say alcoholism is a progressive disease - I think recovery is progressive too. Never doubt that you've taken the right decision. Just for the record..the days I haven't been able to make a real-world meeting, I've logged on to internet AA sites like this (see http://members.aol.com/p3kcmo/links.html for a useful listing) and, although it obviously isn't the same as face-to-face, they have been a great help for me.


Member: Tom A.
Location: Carlisle, AR
Date: 11/5/99
Time: 9:22:37 PM

Comments

Good Evening!

My name is Tom A., a grateful sober alcoholic today by the grace of a wonderful Higher Power and this fellowship we call A.A.

Thank you John L. over there in Newark, DE for this weeks topic SELF-HONESTY. There have been many interesting posts this week. It was suggested to me early in sobriety that I try to use the HOW Principle in my daily program and I have really tried to do that and you know something it works. By practicing Honesty, Openmindedness, Willingness in my daily program I have not found it necessary to take drink of alcohol since July 25, 1960. I am grateful to those who suggested that I practice these principles in my daily life.

Welcome to all the newcomers!

Enjoy Your Sobriety Today!

God Bless - Tom A. ate@gte.net


Member: Jim
Location: MA
Date: 11/5/99
Time: 10:50:35 PM

Comments

Thank you all for being here and sharing your experience strength and hope. I've been doing a lot of isolating lately and checking in here and "speaking is a help-sorry to not adhere to the topic but thank you just the same.


Member: Vicky B
Location: Australia,Sydney
Date: 11/5/99
Time: 11:12:17 PM

Comments

Hi this is my first time on. On the topic of self honesty i find it hard because my disease doesnt want me to be honest it wants me to stay sick, i find help with my sponser in this matter i can talk things over and she knows enough about me to give me the right sort of feedback so i can check my motives and to check my way of seeing things sometimes it can take weeks or months for me to see the truth, all i can say is thank god its a life long program for life thankyou all for being here.


Member: Keddy H
Location: TEXAS U.S.A.
Date: 11/6/99
Time: 1:59:25 AM

Comments

ALOHA all good topic my name is Keddy and Iam an alcoholic self honesty good on in the past i tryed to fool my self by not being honest with my self and i ended up going back out for quite a while but when i got honest with my self and drug my self back in to the rooms my life was on a fast down hill to day once again A.A. has saved my ass and to day Iam workin a honest program I take a honest look at my self every day and Life is great and if it were not for A.A.i would eather be dead or in prison for the rest of my life Ied like to take this time to thank all you people in A.A for helping me belive in myself once again a showing me how to live


Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 11/6/99
Time: 2:22:44 AM

Comments

Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic, sober today only by the grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome to all the newcomers! And thanks everyone for sharing on an excellent topic!

The first step we take towards self honesty is Step 1. Indeed, the 12 steps of AA are designed, among other things, for us AA's to develop self-honesty. As I shared in the Step and Discussion meeting a few weeks ago, Step 4 was a key for me as far as self honesty goes; for the first time I glimpsed the real me, not the illusion of self constructed by my ego.

"Getting honest" is a popular topic in AA halls, but too often, I think, there is a spoken and unspoken emphasis placed on getting honest with others as opposed to ourselves, which I feel is a prerequisite to "getting honest" with others. If it's unclear to me what I believe, think, or feel, I find it more difficult to be honest with others.


Member: Barry G.
Location: Ft. Lauderdale
Date: 11/6/99
Time: 3:16:36 AM

Comments

Hi family...

I've rarely been known as courageous. Fear has always been the motivating force that has guided my life. "Fear of people", not always unwarranted, since we all know that cruelty is not uncommon in our natures...hence, the 4th, 9th, and 10th steps so essential to our relationship to God, and our personal recovery.. has caused me to live life very much alone. Every attempt, in the past, at intimacy left me in pieces, believing only my drinking would keep me from exploding. (THERE'S A NICE PICTURE1!)

It's so easy to become prideful over my new found "self-honesty", but actually, did I really have a choice. It was either get real or DIE.

We think it courageous to be honest, because the news we need to recieve is ALL bad. That 1st step realit check that we are really sick. All those years of justification and rationalization caused our minds to function in a cartoon atmosphere. We become like 'WILEY CAYOTE", who though he has already gone way over the cliff... he doesn't actually fall until he sees he's over the cliff, remember kiddies? The only thing, not being cartoon characters, we suffer real harm immediately, and often don't even undersand why. Honesty is not a choice, it's for us to follow...or die. So let the bad new come in it's fullest. Go ahead, Mr. Bill Wilson, bare it all, sock it to me. After all, there must be good news to follow. There's the great secret in AA. Those who are will to stop being cartoon characters (newcomers), and recieve ALL the bad new... will be ready to recieve the Good News, that God, and God alone can save us from alcohol, and more importantly, from ourselves.

To all my friends and family in fellowship...thank you all near and far for supporting this fellowship that brought the bad news and the GOOD NEWS that has brought me new life. Sober and joyful through all!

Please try to have a great day.

Barry G (kodesh@iwon.com) Happy to hear from you.


Member: Tony W.
Location: Balclutha - New Zealand
Date: 11/6/99
Time: 5:24:20 AM

Comments

Since finding AA over 6 years ago I have tried to practice total honesty. Not just with myself but also with friends, employers etc. I have been criticized for being too honest and initially that made me wonder where to draw the line. I soon realized this criticism was from people who were only trying to justify their own dishonesty. Today, practicing total honesty is very rewarding and has helped generate a level of peace and serenity beyond words. I know that when I am honest about something, I have nothing to fear because my faith in my higher power or God as we understand him is with us. As long as I am honest and don't have that drink then I know everything will turn out OK. That has been the case for the last 6 years. On occasion I have had seemingly unpleasant experiences for being too honest but as time goes on I have realised that the experiences were God's will and everything has always turned out in a way that I would never have thought of. Practicing honesty has strengthened my faith.


Member: Elle
Location: USA
Date: 11/6/99
Time: 9:13:15 AM

Comments

Hi all,

Self-honesty is a great topic. Being sober for 11 years, I have seen a lot. Too often as alcoholics we try to eat the whole cake too fast, in one big bite. Sort of like our drinking - weren't we all guzzlers when we were active? What I am trying to point out, is that this program gently unfolds. There is just no way I got it all at once. It took me years and I am still learning. Self honesty is a huge part of the program. But it can build me up or tear me down. Hopefully this is both. I wanted to build a solid foundation of sobriety that would last. I would like to add that every single day, I am thankful.

One thing though: self honesty should be a gentle process. It deosn't mean allowing those or yourself to be "honest" and ripping oneself to shreds in the process. We are so critical of ourselves! That big fat ego covers a great mass of insecurities. Go easy on yourselves you guys, and I will too.


Member: Elle
Location: USA
Date: 11/6/99
Time: 9:13:22 AM

Comments

Hi all,

Self-honesty is a great topic. Being sober for 11 years, I have seen a lot. Too often as alcoholics we try to eat the whole cake too fast, in one big bite. Sort of like our drinking - weren't we all guzzlers when we were active? What I am trying to point out, is that this program gently unfolds. There is just no way I got it all at once. It took me years and I am still learning. Self honesty is a huge part of the program. But it can build me up or tear me down. Hopefully this is both. I wanted to build a solid foundation of sobriety that would last. I would like to add that every single day, I am thankful.

One thing though: self honesty should be a gentle process. It deosn't mean allowing those or yourself to be "honest" and ripping oneself to shreds in the process. We are so critical of ourselves! That big fat ego covers a great mass of insecurities. Go easy on yourselves you guys, and I will too.


Member: Elle
Location: USA
Date: 11/6/99
Time: 9:13:33 AM

Comments

Hi all,

Self-honesty is a great topic. Being sober for 11 years, I have seen a lot. Too often as alcoholics we try to eat the whole cake too fast, in one big bite. Sort of like our drinking - weren't we all guzzlers when we were active? What I am trying to point out, is that this program gently unfolds. There is just no way I got it all at once. It took me years and I am still learning. Self honesty is a huge part of the program. But it can build me up or tear me down. Hopefully this is both. I wanted to build a solid foundation of sobriety that would last. I would like to add that every single day, I am thankful.

One thing though: self honesty should be a gentle process. It doesn't mean allowing those or yourself to be "honest" and ripping oneself to shreds in the process. We are so critical of ourselves! That big fat ego covers a great mass of insecurities. Go easy on yourselves you guys, and I will too.


Member: BOB
Location: VERMONT
Date: 11/6/99
Time: 12:46:26 PM

Comments

Hi everyone, First time with the online meeting. This is such an important topic and one of the hardest to look at. I know for myself I get riddled with gilt,if I dont stay honest with myself.It was not always like that,but time in the program has giving me a concience, and a chioce.For me life did not change until I was honest with myself. (THE KEY)


Member: Mary J
Location: Hampton, VA
Date: 11/6/99
Time: 5:18:43 PM

Comments

Hi my nmae is Mary, and I just read some of the best stuff here. This is my first time reading this. My husband has all these sites on his favorites and I was just surfing around and this is what I found. I am also in recovery for 13 years...14 on Dec 18th. He will be sober 12 years in a week. Honesty is what got us together and what keeps our relationship so full of life and love. Serg and I have been married for a little over 3 months now and everyday I thank my higher power for this gift. If it wasn't for both of us working an honest program, I really don't beleive we would have made it together for three years now.

I do alot of mirror work. I have to go to the mirror and look at myself and see what is really there. When I first got into recovery, I didn't know what it looked like to be sad or angry. I was just so numb all the time. Now I can go to that mirror and look for that precious person that god and this program has made. I was one of the lucky ones in my family. I made it out alive, and with that gift of life, I have given back to this program everything I have. When anyone anywhere reaches out for help...let the hand of recovery always be there, and let it begin with me!


Member: Paul B
Location: UK
Date: 11/6/99
Time: 5:21:01 PM

Comments

Hi my names Paul and I'm an alcoholic Honesty is a killer isn't it. the only way I got sober was by being rigorously honest with myself, for the first time in my life. Now, when I feel uncomforatble inside, I know that its because I am not being honest about something. Either I am denying a situation in my head or worse I've embellished the truth a little or even worse still I've gossiped about someone and then I live in fear that they will find out. No I'm not perfect, but these days I try and watch these 3 little trip ups and stop myself from committing my head to days or months of pain, by keeping my counsel and trying only to say and see good in people. It aint easy and I frequently fall down, but today I know I'm not perfect. Today I am honest with myself and thats the most important person to be honest with after God. Great topic and thanks for being here. Paul


Member: linda c.
Location: pa
Date: 11/6/99
Time: 5:44:22 PM

Comments

Hi all my name is linda and i'm an alcoholic; thanks for being here for me i just went over ninety days,and this is all new to me too.After a stressful day at work to go along with this time of the year (our daughter died in novemberand my father in dec.)i still thought a drink could ease my pain.thank God for the people in AA who helped me realize that isolation is not the answer.Meetings as hard as they are ,for me to feel a part of ,are crucial for me to maintain my sobriety.My sponsor suggested reading steps 1,2,& 3 alternately daily along with page 58 of the Big book.


Member: Stephen G
Location: Brisbane Qld
Date: 11/6/99
Time: 6:07:42 PM

Comments

Hi my name is Stephen and I am an alcoholic.A good topic and thank you for letting me share. I have been sober for 5 weeks now and this is my second time.I had been sober for about 10 months and then whent back out there for over 12 months.I had tried stopping myself and I couldn't so I had to get honest with my self and go back to AA.Somthing happened ay work the other day which has caused me a bit of worry.My bosse asked me to lie to a person so we could get a ute back that had been pranged.He told me to look straight in his eyes and lie.I have talked to my sponser about it and he said to pray to God of my undersanding for direction.Thank you for letting me get this of my chest.


Member: MaryJ
Location: Seattle
Date: 11/6/99
Time: 9:29:52 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Mary and an alcoholic. I personally feel that one can not practice self honesty and alcoholism. They are mutually exclusive. I think as alcoholics, we become very good at lying to one's self. I used to say things to myself like "I am not an alcoholic because I only drink only at night and I can get up and go to work the next morning." I know of people who say they aren't an alcoholic because they only drink on weekends.

One of the things the program does give me is the ability to try to be more self honest than I was in my past life.

Hang in there this Saturday night


Member: Paula C
Location: Michigan
Date: 11/6/99
Time: 9:44:53 PM

Comments

Hi,i'm Paula an alcholic. Honesty can be so elusive at times. Someone with a few years of sobriety once told me "alcoholics lie just to stay in practice even once they are sober" I catch myself doing just that at times. In order for me to have serenity I must be honest with myself. Hey Mark C. congrats.


Member: Rose W
Location: Santa Clara CA
Date: 11/6/99
Time: 10:18:40 PM

Comments

Hi - I'm Rose and just found this web site. I celebrated my 23rd AA anniversary on October 31. One of the things I appreciate about staying an active member of AA is that I "grow or go", and so far I've chosen to do whatever I have to do to keep growing. Once I worked the steps I could never go backwards comfortably. Self-honesty gets deeper and deeper as I stay on "the path." I appreciate so much the principles, steps and traditions. The road gets narrower, as they say, but it gets straighter too.


Member: Scott L.
Location: High Point,N.C.
Date: 11/7/99
Time: 12:20:50 AM

Comments

Hi,

Alcoholic,Scott This is my first on line meeting and the topic could't be any better for me today.I'm about 10 months sober and going crazy.I'm currently in a RELATIONSHIP with a fellow member of our fellow- ship and have been since I was about 2 weeks in. Of course,I was warned of the peril to my recovery but I'm different,you know,this is GOD'S WILL for me.

TALK ABOUT SELF-HONESTY

I'm not familiar with the concept.Oh well,I have not had to drink over it.Time to get honest with myself and find out just who I am.Then maybe I'll have something to relate.

Bye


Member: Marsha T.
Location: NY
Date: 11/7/99
Time: 3:08:37 AM

Comments

Hi all my name is Marsha and I am an alcoholic. I havent been to a meeting in over six months except once. I keep telling myself that the last drunk I was on before I went into the hospital for the second time in two years was enough for me. I think about drinking daily but havent made a move towards it. I attended a meeting two weeks ago and spoke of how my thoughts were bothering me as the winter months approached and a gentleman made what I perceived to be a joke of my "seasonal relapses". Today I'm sober but I could be more.


Member: DonF
Location: NH
Date: 11/7/99
Time: 7:31:30 AM

Comments

Don, Recovering Alcoholic. Recovering by the Grace of God, and my current willingness to not drink, and to be here instead of some trashy porno site. I say that to respond to the topic of Honesty. As Chris said (11/2, 12.39 pm) we need to get honest over other things in addition to drinking. In her case eating and spending, in my case eating and lusting. Yes, I go to a program for that too, and I still struggle with it. Christa (10/31 7:22) speaks of someone 2 yrs ago talking to her about her drinking. I was 5 yrs sober when I remembered something I forgot for 20 years before that. When I was 24+/- and a co-worker 50-ish and I were at a company function, and the topic became WHY I WAS DRINKING AND HE WASN'T. He said he and his wife were in a spiritual fellowship(I said church? he said no-spiritual) and it was the second marriage for both, and they were the happiest they had ever been. And maybe I should try it too. (?) I compared his wife with my girlfreind, my job with his, my age with his, and my Corvette with his old wagon, and wondered "What the hell is he so happy about?" and blew off the whole thing. I wish I could find him now and tell him I finally realized he saw the apple on my head 15 years before I did. Thanks for listening. Lytch49@aol.com


Member: JEFF
Location: KALAMAZOO
Date: 11/7/99
Time: 7:34:47 AM

Comments

The sun is just rising here and self honesty is a good thing for me to be reading about. The truth is that I have never had it this good.

I have been finding the faults with myself and others lately without looking at the good stuff. Many of the postings have touched me and reminded me that I am not alone. I am not perfectly honest with myself or others yet. I probably will never be. The little looks into myself that you all give me are what I get.

When I was drinking I did not even think about or try to be honest with myself. AA has given me tools to be a little more honest with me &you. Tools to be a more grateful. Tools to be more willing. When I choose to act better and step away from myself, even for a little while things get better.

Marsha - keep going to the meetings, the joke may or may not have been funny - but I am sure the joker wants you to be happy and sober-


Member: Bruce A.
Location: Crow's Nest,PA
Date: 11/7/99
Time: 2:26:45 PM

Comments

Hi Family, Bruce A. here, An alcoholic. When a drunk's lips are moving it is probaly a lie. For me to be honset with someone else, first I had to be honest with me. And to be honest with me I had to find out who me is. In working the steps for the past 16 yrs. Starting with # 1 I have learned a lot about ME. Especially in the 4th step. AS I continue to work the steps I have been able to more honest, willing and opened minded especialy with myself and God. If I keep coming back and practicig these principles in all my affairs I can be more honest with YOU. LOVE you all, Bruce A.


Member: Letty C.
Location: Lebanon, PA
Date: 11/7/99
Time: 3:44:51 PM

Comments

hi! Letty, alcoholic, self-honesty is a great topic for me. I heard a lot of good things, thanks June P I liked what you said about wounds that can't heal unless I let them out! That's true for me and self-honesty; sometimes, I don't know if I'm foolin myself unless I bring in another human being and hear myself explain what I'm thinking, doing etc. As others have said I was numb for such a long time.. sometimes a defense mechanism is at work and I think everything is ok.? I remember when I first got sober, it took my sponsor an hour on the phone before we got to my real worries, fears, etc. For me, living life can get in the way creating surface junk. I as an alcoholic must shovel thru the junk to get to how I really am feeling at times. But once I'm on the same page with me "to thy on self be true". The truth can hurt and can be difficult implementing but the rewards come when I follow directions. I try to remember that my HP has better things for my life being dishonest is usually me trying to run the show..let go and let God..thanks for letting me share!!


Member: Greg S
Location: BC
Date: 11/7/99
Time: 5:29:50 PM

Comments

Hi,Im alcoholic.Today Im once again embarking on this journey of abstinence.Ive been in a new relationship for 5 1/2 months now and the same movie is beginning to play.Im honest enough to myself to know that I have no options but to live my life sober. In march I opened my business which has enourmous international potential and although I have been very good not to drink during the week I tend to feel I must catch up for lost drinking time on the weekend. I know I have been lying to myself that this method will allow me to be successful because it shouldnt affect daily operations of the weekdays. Yah Right!!! It takes me til Wednesday to have proper brain function again.I truly want to keep the devil inside the bottle by not removing the lid.God give me strength.I am extremely happy to find this website.It will allow me to read the thoughts of others with my disease at my desk. Peace be with us all.


Member: Renee A
Location: Upstate NY
Date: 11/7/99
Time: 6:45:32 PM

Comments

Hi Im Renee an Alcoholic and at this point in my sobriety self-honesty is very important. I know it is the only way I am going to obtain any real emotional sobriety. Even though it is hard some times for me to look at Renee I also know its important also uncomfortable sometimes. Although it is a huge part of my program.


Member: Renee A
Location: Upstate NY
Date: 11/7/99
Time: 6:45:40 PM

Comments

Hi Im Renee an Alcoholic and at this point in my sobriety self-honesty is very important. I know it is the only way I am going to obtain any real emotional sobriety. Even though it is hard some times for me to look at Renee I also know its important also uncomfortable sometimes. Although it is a huge part of my program.


Member: GABRIELLE P.
Location: MANSFIELD, TX.
Date: 11/7/99
Time: 7:50:19 PM

Comments

HELLO ALL! GABRIELLE, GRATEFUL RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC HERE. I AM SO LUCKY TO BE A HUMAN BEING TODAY. IT MEANS I DON'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT. I CAN'T SAY I WILL NEVER LIE AGAIN, BUT I TRY ON A DAILY BASIS TO DO A SIMPLE THING, DON'T TELL MYSELF ANY LIES. THEN I CAN REASONABLY BE SURE NOT TO TELL YOU ANY. THE FIRST STEP TO ME BEING HONEST WAS BETWEEN GOD AND MYSELF ON THE FLOOR OF MY BEDROOM, SITTING IN A POOL OF BLOOD AND PUKE AND TELLING HIM I DIDN'T WANT TO FEEL THAT WAY AGAIN. THE SECOND THING I DID TO TRY AND BE HONEST WAS TO ADMIT TO MYSELF I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS HAPPENING TO ME, THAT DAYS AND WEEKS OF TIME HAD DISAPPEARED ON ME, THAT I DIDN'T KNOW MY HUSBAND OR CHILDREN ANYMORE, THAT I WAS UNABLE TO LOOK IN A MIRROR, THAT I COULD NO LONGER GO OUTSIDE IN THE DAYLIGHT BECAUSE THE NIGHT HID MY TRUE APPEARANCE BETTER, THAT I HAD NO FRIENDS ANYMORE, THAT MY FAMILY HADN'T CALLED OR WRITTEN TO ME IN YEARS, THAT I WAS NOT WELCOMED IN MANY HOMES ANYMORE, THAT PEOPLE I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW CRINGED WHEN THEY SAW ME COMING, THAT I HAD NO IDEA WHAT LIFE WAS ABOUT. THAT IS WHERE SELF HONESTY BEGAN FOR ME. THIS SITE IS INTENDED TO HELP THOSE WHO SUFFER FROM THE DESEASE OF ALCOHOLISM. GET HONEST WITH YOURSELVES AND REALIZE THAT YOU MUST FIRST BE HONEST WITH NUMBER ONE. THE ADVICE THAT YOU SHARE IS MAY BE THE ONLY SOURCE OF A.A. SOME HAVE FOR WHATEVER REASON. LIVE AND LET LIVE. I HAVEN'T FOUND IT NECESSARY TO TAKE A DRINK FOR 4,368 DAYS, BUT I STILL ONLY HAVE TODAY TO USE TO HELP AN ALCOHOLIC WHO STILL SUFFERS, GOD HELP ME TO DO AND SAY THE RIGHT THING TO ACCOMPLISH THAT BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS HIS WILL KEEPS ME SOBER MINE GOT ME TO THE DOORS OF A.A. IN A.A., IN SOBRIETY, IN LIFE!

IIB1@AOL.COM GPP2280@PHARMERICA.COM


Member: Joe L
Location: Arkansas
Date: 11/7/99
Time: 9:24:00 PM

Comments