Member: John.L
Location: Newark.De
Date: 24 Oct 1999
Time: 10:08:12
Hi all,,I would like to talk about dealing with the holidays sober ,baing there's so many coming up,,this is a hard time of the year for me.and i'm not a newbie/or a old timer,,,just a scared person ,,,,who has been having a rough time lately ....Or the other side of the coin for a topic would be {Don't expect ,To Much ,To Soon ,To Easy} cause thats been my biggest fear right now Dealing with old thought,that won't go away ,and i'm having trouble dealing with my emotions right now ,,cause there scaring me pretty bad, and my sponsor has suggested to get other peoples opinion,so I'm asking you all!! as well as other people I know ....Thanks John.L/Struggling ,But still sober
Member: Terri S
Location: Wis
Date: 24 Oct 1999
Time: 10:08:35
Good Morning, Terri S. Grateful Alcoholic here. i would like every much to talk about Honesty, until i got some honesty i didnt have a chance of getting the program, but my way and we all know the answer to that one it's in HOW it works. Honesty,Open-minded,Willingness. looking forward to our discussions meeting this week Thanks to all have a great 24hrs.
Member: Tamara M.
Location: AZ
Date: 24 Oct 1999
Time: 10:55:32
Topic is dealing with the Holidays sober. When I look back at the events surrounding my recent relapse, I see that I had started putting myself in places where alcohol was available and hanging around with people who drank. No one "made" me drink except me. After almost 5 years of sobriety, I thought I could "try" it again. HA! If I needed proof that I was an abuser of substances, I got it. I guess what I'm saying is that it's best to try and stay away from people and places that serve alcohol. Yes, with all the shame that constantly nags at us, it's hard to admit to others that you don't want to use. Your true friends will understand. To the others you might say "I don't like the way it makes me feel" or "I'm making a New Years Resolution early". Whatever works so you don't drink today.
Member: Jen P.
Location: Poconos, PA
Date: 24 Oct 1999
Time: 11:06:36
Jen here-grateful recovering alcoholic. I had a piece from the grapevine called 12 suuggestions for a sober holiday season, or something like that. I will see if I can find it. It was real helpful when I was struggling with holidays. Today I take it one day at a time, and make sure I have taken care of sobriety before I put myself in any situations where ther will be alcohol. However, I am alwaysgoing to be faced with alcohol, and for me to stay away from family and friends forever because they can drink and I can't, is not for me. I know that I cannot drink unless I want my old life back, which I do not. Or worse, if I listen to those who have tried it for me and returned. I take my tip from the Big Book. As long as I am in fit spiritual condition, I can go anywhere with good purposes. I need to check my motives. If I do go, I see what I can bring to the occasion, and if I find myself living vicariously on others drinking, or wishing I could drink, etc.. then I leave. If I find that piece I'll (dare I say) post again. Thanks for letting me share. Grateful for another sober day!
Member: Paul C
Location: Antioch CA
Date: 24 Oct 1999
Time: 11:09:40
Hello Friends, Alkie Paul here. Holidays and soberity. No problem. Go to alot of meetings, stay close to the fellowship, read the BB again and pray to your HP. It is also very important that we don't go to people, places or things that will put us in harms way. Theres nothing worth drinking about.
Member: Clay T.
Location: Kansas
Date: 24 Oct 1999
Time: 11:37:38
Hi,Clay alcoholic. With the holidays comming it is a good time to put into action the things we learn in AA. Being a part of family functions,giving of ourselves (time,gifts,helping others less fortunate) really just getting out of self. Above all being grateful for soberity. I liked the suggestion from another member about being spiritualy fit in chapter 7 starting the bottom of page 100 through end of chapter. Better go our home group meeting starts in 10 minutes
Member: JCP ^/^
Location: Penn's Woods
Date: 24 Oct 1999
Time: 11:54:34
J here, a grateful alcoholic: The problem's in the mirror, holiday or no, not that I just plunged into the fun when I was coping with that old daily-drink habit but the A.A. goal is to free us, not shut us in.
Very early in A.A.--still in the shudder and grimace phase--I remember a party associated with a wedding, the night before or after, I forget which--maybe my first "respectable" invitation!
People knew I was "on the wagon." At least three, I recall, cared enough to point out where the pop was available behind the bar. I might have thought I would take offense, but happily no. The mother of the bride (normally a shy, minimal drinker) danced barefoot on a table. But the next day for her it was only a slightly blushing memory, not a lifetime of pain.
We might get away with kidding other people, but not ourselves--if I drink today (especially now after all my Higher Power and A.A. have done for me) the problem's definitely in the mirror.
Member: Lisa C
Location: New York City, Manhattan
Date: 24 Oct 1999
Time: 12:24:36
I'm Lisa and I'm an alcoholic. Today is my 5th anniversary. I had to say it. Lisa
Member: steph w.
Location: seattle
Date: 24 Oct 1999
Time: 12:29:19
I have a drinking problem that is slowly treaing apat my life and raltionship I binge drink I can month w/out a drink then all of a sudden I drink a 5th of vodka in a night I need help to regain the balance ( I think I really don't know what I need other that to stop drinking)
Member: Steve F.
Location: Wenham, Massachusetts
Date: 24 Oct 1999
Time: 12:48:52
Steve, alcoholic
I first started going to AA last February, so this is my first round of "sober" holidays coming up. Thanksgiving weekend is especially threatening to me. Besides the ordinary stress of a family gathering, this Thanksgiving weekend will mark the 14th anniversary of the birth and death of my first child (she died when she was 5 days old. I have 3 other children now, but since I drank through the pain 14 years ago, I have never gotten over it. I don't have any answers for anyone else dreading the holidays, but for me, I plan to pray a lot, and go to as many meetings as I can. I also plan to speak at a Thanksgiving "alkathon" that will be running in my area from 6 P.M. Wednesday night to 6 P.M. Thursday night.
Member: Avril G
Location: Driffield UK
Date: 24 Oct 1999
Time: 13:37:57
My first ever Christmas 'sober'was horrendous, I made it until New Year, then drank again, (I deserved it) Which left me with another first sober Christmas the following year, this time I made it, and I have never since had another drink at christmas. Not for the past 9yrs!!!!!Truly a miracle, certainly not of my own making.
Every Christmas eve, you will find me in an AA meeting, not because I am afraid I will drink, but because I remember that first 'sober' Christmas, when I left my home 2hours before the meeting, and drove round and around, and up and down the M1 Motorway, not daring to stop until it was almost time for the meeting, as I really desperately needed (wanted) a drink that night.
When I pulled up outside the meeting, I just fell into the arms of another member, and sobbed, and sobbed. I have no idea how I managed not to pick up a drink that evening, but I did, and by the end of the meeting, I was ready to go back home and enjoy the Christmas holiday. That is why I always get to a meeting at Christmas, just in case there is someone just like me, frightened, lonely, desperate, who is craving a drink, but wants so badly to stay sober. There were people there for me at all times of the year, and I would like to think that, especially at such difficult times, there will always be someone in meeting rooms for the newcomer.
When anyone, anywhere reaches out for help, I want the hand of AA always to be there, and for that I AM RESPONSIBLE.
Christmas is just another day, and I didn't drink on MY OWN birthday, so I sure as hell ain't gonna drink on someone elses.
Goodie@cwcom.net
ICQ 47039989
Member: Avril G
Location: Driffield UK
Date: 24 Oct 1999
Time: 14:00:39
My first ever Christmas 'sober'was horrendous, I made it until New Year, then drank again, (I deserved it) Which left me with another first sober Christmas the following year, this time I made it, and I have never since had another drink at christmas. Not for the past 9yrs!!!!!Truly a miracle, certainly not of my own making.
Every Christmas eve, you will find me in an AA meeting, not because I am afraid I will drink, but because I remember that first 'sober' Christmas, when I left my home 2hours before the meeting, and drove round and around, and up and down the M1 Motorway, not daring to stop until it was almost time for the meeting, as I really desperately needed (wanted) a drink that night.
When I pulled up outside the meeting, I just fell into the arms of another member, and sobbed, and sobbed. I have no idea how I managed not to pick up a drink that evening, but I did, and by the end of the meeting, I was ready to go back home and enjoy the Christmas holiday. That is why I always get to a meeting at Christmas, just in case there is someone just like me, frightened, lonely, desperate, who is craving a drink, but wants so badly to stay sober. There were people there for me at all times of the year, and I would like to think that, especially at such difficult times, there will always be someone in meeting rooms for the newcomer.
When anyone, anywhere reaches out for help, I want the hand of AA always to be there, and for that I AM RESPONSIBLE.
Christmas is just another day, and I didn't drink on MY OWN birthday, so I sure as hell ain't gonna drink on someone elses.
Goodie@cwcom.net
ICQ 47039989
Member: Tim P
Location: Utah
Date: 24 Oct 1999
Time: 14:15:28
My name is Tim and a alcoholic been clean and sober 3 weeks this time. Been in and out of the fellowship 20 plus years always had a reason to drink. Holidays birthdays it didn't matter i drank.I must remember my Higher Power & pray alot &do alot of meetings and oh yes get another Sponsor. I'm very grateful to be cleann and sober today
Member: Lorraine M
Location: Oneonta NY
Date: 24 Oct 1999
Time: 15:27:36
My name is Lorraine and I AM AN ALCOHOLIC, and a greatful one at that. I don't have to drink today and that is a miracle. I am sober for five years and I have not any more or less time than anyone else sober today since all we have is today. As long as I don't pick up a drink today I will have a chance to stay sober and learn to live life on lifes terms. I was told that I need to keep things in the day or I will drink. I believe that. If I start to project what tomorrow will bring, I will inevidably find enough discomfort and reason to set myself up to drink. The fear of what may happen will justify my reasons to drink. Holidays are just another day, anniversaries are just another day and If I don't drink one day at a time, go to meetings on a regular basis, pray to God as I understand him, let things happen as they are supposed to happen, then chances are I will be sober when I go to sleep tonight. God bless and thank all of you for keeping me sober today.
Member: Bonnie Z.
Location: PA, USA
Date: 24 Oct 1999
Time: 16:35:40
Hi, my name is Bonnie Z. and I am an alcoholic, thank God a sober one for ten years now. I have only God to thank for that, he brought me to these rooms and works through all you wonderful, special people.
It is true, anytime was an excuse to drink, I say excuse because there is never a reason to drink. I thank everyone for their suggestions and experience regarding the holidays. In our Intergroup newsletter, we usually post those 12 suggestions Jen mentioned, because it is a very tough time for a lot of people.
In my home group, for a few years now, we have had an all-night meeting on Christmas eve. It really helps us all. I would not want to go back to all the morning afters when I drank, I can celebrate sober and feel great. Life is not a bowl of cherries, but there is light when you don't drink. Nothing is so bad that a drink won't make it worse. I prefer to stick with recovering alkies over the holidays. Love and hugs, Bonnie
Member: Pattw/2tees
Location: Oregon
Date: 24 Oct 1999
Time: 16:43:49
Patt, grateful recovering alcoholic, sober today by the grace of God and the power of this simple program. Good topic, sobriety through the holidays. I hope to make it to several extra meetings during all the craziness that surrounds Christmas, New Year's, and before that, Thanksgiving, which is a particularly slippery time for me. There is so much that comes up around that holiday, old stuff that I'm asking God to help me with. What I have learned about my being around those who are drinking is that I need to take a very firm First Step, then Second and Third, before I walk through the door of a place serving alcohol. I need to take my God to the party with me, remembering that I AM AN ALCOHOLIC and, if I trust in Him to help me, I won't feel the need to join the drinkers today. Fit spiritual condition is what I need--at all times--especially when I can see and smell the liquor. I can't be jealous of those who drink, and I can't fool myself into believing that I'm one of them. I've found that getting my OWN glass, which is different from the rest, filling it with a nice, safe beverage, and hanging onto it during the festivities is a real help. If things get too out-of-hand, I make sure that I can leave and go home when and if I need to. Those who love me and care about me do not ask me to drink, and to those who don't know that I don't I say, "No, thanks, I've had my lifetime quota." That has always done the trick for me.
Lisa C.--Happy birthday to you!!
John who is struggling, please look in your telephone book for Alcoholics Anonymous, call them, tell them you want to stop drinking and ask for help. You will get it. You've reached out for help and that is so important--just keep on moving forward. Get to a meeting--the AA office will tell you where there's one near you, and maybe they can send someone to take you. You will be welcomed; we need each other in this life.
Avril--did you get my e-mail?
Thanks all for letting me share. "Trust God, clean house, help others." Patt
Member: Rusty M.
Location: Toronto, Ont.
Date: 24 Oct 1999
Time: 19:26:45
Hi, Rusty here and I'm an alcoholic. I've only been in the program 3 1/2 months and I'm terrified about New Years Eve. So far, the only true friends I have are in A.A. I lost the rights to see my 6 month old grandson in January when I tried suicide - I didn't even realize (or admit to myself) then that I was an alcoholic. Thinking back I must have been for over 30 years but my last drink was July 4 of this year. The Canadian Thanksgiving is the second Monday of October and that is just 'another day' to me. Christmas won't be too bad because my sons will be with me and I will see my grandson although he is now 16 months old and I still am not allowed to babysit him. This is the killer and it's starting to bring me down again. I'm a widow (10 years) and I'm looking at not only another New Years eve by myself but a special New Years Eve to boot. This may send me back to the liquor store. All I can do right now is say the Serenity Prayer, look at my grandson's picture and try to remember I may never see him again if I pick up one more time. My AA friends have their own families they will be with. I know I'm only to do one day at a time, but sometimes it's a heavy burden. I just found AA on-line this weekend and I appreciate all your comments.
Thanks for listening.
To Lisa C - "Happy Birthday"
Member: Christa
Location: USA
Date: 24 Oct 1999
Time: 19:33:58
How do I deal with the holidays and not drinking, as before? It will be like any other day in the last 10 weeks, I do not WANT to drink anymore. Holidays or not, doesn't make a difference to me. Remember the first step of the Big Book: We admitted that we became powerless over alcohol. And as a CP member always says: If you don't drink, you won't get drunk.
Member: Chris V.
Location: Belleville, IL
Date: 24 Oct 1999
Time: 20:37:31
Hi everyone. I'm Chris and I'm an alcoholic. I got sober in September of 1998, so I've only been through one holiday season without alcohol or drugs. I know that if I dwell on the future, I'm not living in today and there's a good chance I'm missing out on a whole lot of life. Someone in my group is fond of pointing out that phrase in Chapter 5, "that one is God, may you find Him now." He says that God lives in the present. We all have to get through today before we make it to tomorrow or next month. To Rusty, maybe there is an Alka-thon in your area on New Year's Eve. If not, maybe you could pick up your phone and call another drunk. God Bless!!
Member: Scott M
Location: Pasadena, Ca
Date: 24 Oct 1999
Time: 20:59:28
My name is Scott and I'am an alcoholic. The holidays are a very difficult time. This will be my first holiday sober.I finally admitted this to myself after 23 years of drinking. In those years I have ruined every relationship I've bee in, I was arrested for DUI last December, and most recently I assaulted the mother of my 4 month old daughter. She is also an alcoholic and we are trying to be the best parents possible. She has left me and taken my daughter with her. Because of alcohol I have lost the most precious gift God has given me. I want to stay sober so bad and be the best person/husband/father possible. Hopefully someday we can be a family again, but I know this will only occur if we remain sober. Thanx for reading this and God bless you all.
Member: Ida M
Location: Montana
Date: 24 Oct 1999
Time: 21:06:08
Hi - I'm Ida and a grateful alcoholic. The holidays are definately harder (I think) than the rest of the year to stay sober. I really feel it's becasue we feel happier, everyone around us is smiling, and that old "stinkin thinkin" starts playing again in our brains. When we drank "we thought we were happier" and we centainly had "more fun". Now, of course, we know that not to be true -- but for most of us, we have more drinking years - than sober years in our recent memories trying to guide us.
For me, it has gotten easier over the years to get through the holidays. But I hope I never forget just how hard those "firsts" were for me. When I remeber the pain, it helps me stay sober today. When I remeber the confusion, it keeps my thinking straight. I still enjoy each "first" as I regain my sanity. Even through I have been sober over five years now - I take each sober day as a first.
Turn to your higher power and A.A. friends to get you through the holidays sober. It really is the only choice any of us have.
I am looking forward to bringing in the New Year with my family, at home and shooting off some awesome fireworks. For me, the New Year brings a 1000 years of new hope and dreams.
I have no other choice but to stay sober somehow. For me, I cannot return to the insanity - I don't think I'd have the strength to get sober again. I find myself avoiding many people, places and things. But I have to stay away from people who drink and situations which would encourage me to drink.
There's no place like home for the Holidays!!
Take care and congrats to all of us who have stayed sober this wonderful day. If we did it today - we can do it during the holidays!!!
Member: Gabrielle P.
Location: Mansfield, TX.
Date: 24 Oct 1999
Time: 21:15:19
Hi Gabrielle, grateful, recovering alcoholic here.
Happy anniversary Lisa!
Staying sober through the holidays is harder than any other time of year. I made Monday a holiday so I could drink then, I made being happy a holiday so I could drink then, I never had a problem drinking, I had a problem not drinking. Today with the gift of Sobriety I do as another has already stated: Stay away from people and places associated with alcohol. I will not even stay at a relatives if they are serving booze and guess what out of respect for me the last 12 yrs have been alcohol free events and much more enjoyable. It doesn't they don't drink any more it means if they expect me and my family to attend they won't. I have to set my limitations, and I don't trust me around booze. I had some people who have told they don't believe I couldn't attend a party with booze and not drink, my answer to them is I enjoy life too much today to see if I can.My sponser told me many moons ago that I would have to know myself inside and out and be honest if I was to make it in this program. Therefore, its Alkathons, A.A dances, A.A private parties or I go and help feed the people at a local chruch. Whatever I can do to keep out of self and focussed on others. Thanks for letting me share. In Sobriety, In A.A., In Life!
Member: Liz C
Location: NZ
Date: 25 Oct 1999
Time: 05:02:00
Liz alcoholic here I have been in the program for 13 years and have stayed sober for this period but wondered if anyone can help me with coping with stress and anxiety. I'm currently working long hours because my new employer expects it but am not coping to well with it there is a return of resentment and much much anger, a feeling of being used. I'm thinking that this is danger zone for me. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Many thanks for letting me share.
Member: Fred M
Location: MD
Date: 25 Oct 1999
Time: 07:45:03
I'm Fred and I'm an alcoholic. Thanks, God, for one more day of sobriety, and thanks for the wisdom of the members who share here. The holidays are tough. Old memories come flooding back. As an older alcoholic, I remember departed loved ones, and being with them during the holidays. The rosy glow of time makes me remember alcohol enhancing the experience. My disease makes me forget the hangovers, the inappropriate behaviour and comments, the blackouts, and the shame. I only remember the laughs and "easy" feelings created by the booze. Well, that is sick thinking. Alcohol never made anything better for me. Now, during holidays I try to get out of myself so much and think about my kids, my younger brother, who is newer in sobriety than me, my other relatives still suffering with alcohol, and my wife, who stayed with my during some bad times. I owe myself and them the sanity God gave me when he performed a miracle and let me get sober. I owe him daily prayers of thankfulness and forgiveness, and this becomes my focus during the holidays. As for staying away from places and people with drinks, I agree, if that helps you. For me, alcohol is as close as the corner store, so that does not help. What does help is resolve and faith. Resolve that nothing and nobody can make me drink today and faith that each day God sens, including the holidays, will be the same. For now, I only worry about today. Thanks for letting me share. Love, Fred
Member: 7th Tradition
Location: Pass the Hat
Date: 25 Oct 1999
Time: 08:17:20
"We have no dues or fees, we are self supporting through our own contributions."
Member: Bonnie Z.
Location: PA, USA
Date: 25 Oct 1999
Time: 10:24:36
Hi, Bonnie Z. again. I'm double posting because I found what Jen was looking for, "Twelve Tips on Keeping Your Holiday Season Sober and Joyous". It was in my December folder for the newsletter, but it can be applied to any holiday, really. Here goes: 1) Line up extra A.A. activities for the holiday season. Arrange to take newcomers to meetings, answer the phones at a clubhouse or central office, speak, help with dishes, or visit the alcoholic ward at a hospital. 2) Be host to A.A. friends, especially newcomers. If you don't have a place where you can throw a formal party, take one person to a diner and spring for the coffee. 3) Keep your A.A. telephone list with you all the time. If a drinking urge or panic comes--postpone everything else until you've called an A.A. 4) Find out about the special holiday parties, meetings, or other celebrations given by groups in your area, and go. If you're timid, take someone newer than you are. 5) Skip any drinking occasion you are nervous about. Remember how clever you were at excuses when drinking? Now put the talent to good use. No office party is as important as saving your life. 6) If you have to go to a drinking party and can't take an A.A. with you, keep some candy handy. 7) Don't think you have to stay late. Plan in advance an "important date" you have to keep. 8) Go to church. Any church. 9) Don't sit around brooding. Catch up on those books, museums, walks, and letters. 10) Don't start now getting worked up about all those holiday temptations. Remember--"one day at a time." 11) Enjoy the true beauty of holiday love and joy. Maybe you cannot give material gifts--but this year, you can give love. 12) "Having had a..." No need to spell out the Twelfth Step here, since you already know it. Hope this helps. Love ya.
Member: Joy U.
Location: Mitchell, In
Date: 25 Oct 1999
Time: 14:59:13
Well this will be my second year of sober holidays, it isnt easy especially when everyone around you is drinking and having a good time. I would just have to say dont stay in an uncomfortable situation, there are plenty of places to go and have fun sober. I will stay sober today for me and the ones that love me, I have to much to lose and nothing to gain if I decide to drink again. Be strong everyone and have Happy (sober) Holidays
Member: Belinda T.
Location: Jackson, MS
Date: 25 Oct 1999
Time: 15:30:19
Hi, Belinda alcoholic. Today is my 1st year sobriety birthday. The holidays are the hardest, but not because of parties. Because of family, so I spent last Thanksgiving and Christmas with my AA family. I'll do the same this year. And if I get drunk it's because I have that choice, and right now I choose not to drink. It's that simple. I'm no different from anyone else in the program, oldtimer or newbie. I'm one drink away from a drunk. John, talk to your sponsor, if you don't have one, get one; call up a bunch of AA friends. I'd lay odds a lot of them have the same feelings about the holidays as you do.
Member: Aron S
Location: Johnstown PA
Date: 25 Oct 1999
Time: 15:57:53
Hi,Aron alcoholic,trying to live differently
Member: Aron S
Location: Johnstown PA
Date: 25 Oct 1999
Time: 15:58:33
Hi,Aron alcoholic,trying to live differently
Member: Sue O.
Location: UK
Date: 25 Oct 1999
Time: 18:05:24
Hi my name's Sue I'm an alcoholic. It's my first time posting on here. I'm just introducing myself.
Member: Sue O.
Location: UK
Date: 25 Oct 1999
Time: 18:05:46
Hi my name's Sue I'm an alcoholic. It's my first time posting on here. I'm just introducing myself.
Member: andy mac
Location: somerset ,pa.
Date: 25 Oct 1999
Time: 18:58:57
hello aron, good to have you and sue here,as they say in the f2f keep coming back.aron, I am from somerset,pa. so we are neighbors if I can help, you email me at irish@shol.com,same for you sue
Member: richard m
Location: sarasota, florida
Date: 25 Oct 1999
Time: 20:07:17
hello everyone, i am an alcoholic, my name is richard, Richard M. Holiday's is always a good topic...... I enjoy the holidays....... I need to stay out of the Stinking Thinking....That can Ocur and does Ocur...... Today.ended up being so busy.i ran out of a way to to get to a meeting...... I go regularly and use this format to keep conected on a daily basis.when i can not get to a face to face or can..t seem to connect on the phone.....thankfully i won't drink over it, won't get a resentment, or feel like i am not working the program right! Sometimes i just can't make it to a meeting ...meds . transprtation or overly tired...... I will just have to let go and let God .........Thanks for being here and i hope this helps some one else to......i will be 14 yrs of contiguous sobriety this dec.28 , 1999........we always will need each other!!
Member: Leonie WJ
Location: York UK
Date: 25 Oct 1999
Time: 20:15:58
Hi Leonie here, Its the first time that I have accessed this page and its nice to see some more people here from the UK, I had thought that it would only be Americans!. I am not looking forward to the holidays one little bit, as I have found it really hard to stay sober over the last few months, many things have gone wrong, I am finding it very hard to get back into employment, since I moved up here from London last year, and my "wife" has just come out of hospital after a nasty operation. All of this makes it very hard not to grab for the bottle, but I really don't want to drink anymore, I love her and myself too much to let a bottle rule my life like it has for the last 15 years. If anyone can give me any advice I would be grateful. Many Thanks.
Member: Big John M.
Location: Modesto, Ca
Date: 26 Oct 1999
Time: 00:18:56
Hi everyone. I'm John, a real alcoholic. Great topic as usual! I second many of the suggestions I have heard here and here are a few ways I try to help myself through the difficult period of holidays coming up. I work at staying in the now. Everyday is a day of Thanksgiving for me considering my 30+ years of drinking and my 5+ years of sobriety. My HP has given me so many undeserved gifts that I consciously thank Him everyday. Also, if I am to profess a belief in the Christian faith, I should be celebrating Christ's birth every day in the way that I try to live that day. New Year' s resolutions are way out of my league. I have this Program that has taught me how to work my resolve one day at a time and that's all I can do. All the partying associated with the above stuff is amatuer night anyway and today, I don't have anywhere the fear I used to have when I was drinking as the holidays approached. The pressure and stress of the commercialism associated with all this can get one down no matter what so I do what others have said before me including service, marathon meetings, volunteering at our mission, sober parties for fellow AA's etc. It can be a real tough time but together we can do it. Thanks for allowing me to once again get in touch with who and what I am. I love the Program and all my brothers and sister in it! Good night and God Bless!
Member: Big John M.
Location: Modesto, Ca
Date: 26 Oct 1999
Time: 00:20:44
Hi everyone. I'm John, a real alcoholic. Great topic as usual! I second many of the suggestions I have heard here and here are a few ways I try to help myself through the difficult period of holidays coming up. I work at staying in the now. Everyday is a day of Thanksgiving for me considering my 30+ years of drinking and my 5+ years of sobriety. My HP has given me so many undeserved gifts that I consciously thank Him everyday. Also, if I am to profess a belief in the Christian faith, I should be celebrating Christ's birth every day in the way that I try to live that day. New Year' s resolutions are way out of my league. I have this Program that has taught me how to work my resolve one day at a time and that's all I can do. All the partying associated with the above stuff is amatuer night anyway and today, I don't have anywhere the fear I used to have when I was drinking as the holidays approached. The pressure and stress of the commercialism associated with all this can get one down no matter what so I do what others have said before me including service, marathon meetings, volunteering at our mission, sober parties for fellow AA's etc. It can be a real tough time but together we can do it. Thanks for allowing me to once again get in touch with who and what I am. I love the Program and all my brothers and sisters in it! Good night and God Bless!
Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 26 Oct 1999
Time: 03:42:39
Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic, sober today only by the grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome to all the newcomers! Congrats Lisa! And thanks everyone for sharing!
Like some others who shared, holidays are just like any other days as far as maintaining sobriety goes--I just need to do whatever it takes to stay sober that day.. A few times I did feel an emptiness and an unhealthy sentimentalism during the holidays, but it simply demanded further action on my part.
I think Paul C.'s suggestions pretty much sum things up in this regard, although I would add attending a holiday alcathon, if there is one where we live.
I remember staying at an alcothon all night when I was feeling a little shaky over the holidays, and I would do it again, if necessary.
Member: Jack B.
Location: CUMBOLA PA.
Date: 26 Oct 1999
Time: 05:02:20
Hi I am Jack and I am an alcoholic.I would like to share a little with Steph W. In Seattle. The first thing you have said is you have a drinking problem, that is all our fellowship requires is a desire to stop drinking.I wish I had had the courage many many years ago to say I have a drinking problem and I would like to stop drinking.My suggestion to you is if you are unaware of any AA meetings in your home area, contact an AA hotline for help.The most important thing for you right now is to become involved with people who understand what you are going through.There isn't anything going on in your life that someone in AA hasn't felt or experienced.You have already reached out your hand please take ours and see if what we have is what you want.I guarantee you it can't be any worse that what you are apparently feeling and going thru now.God Bless you and please reach out your hand again, we can help if you want to be helped.
Member: Avril G
Location: Driffield UK
Date: 26 Oct 1999
Time: 05:32:25
Sorry to double-dip, {{LEONIE WJ, YORK}}}} Please feel free to e-mail, and I am at the York Tuesday meeting on 9th November, will you be there??
Goodie@cwcom.net
ICQ 47039989
Member: Jean-Claude T.
Location: Belgium
Date: 26 Oct 1999
Time: 07:07:03
Hi my name is JC and I’m an alcoholic.
Thanks for the topic John. It reminds me of my 1st sober Christmas. I seldom go to church, but I usually go on Christmas. When I drank, sometimes I went in a pittiful state. The 1st time I went sober, I think I really caught what for me is the true spirit of Christmas : peace, understanding, love of eachother. And guess what? I remembered it all the morning after, without a headache. For the 1st time I’ve been able to enjoy it with my wife and kids on that evening. I was 3 months sober and, like Christa I considered it one day at a time, not willing to drink. Everytime we’re confronted with alcohol in our daily life and we get over it, it’s a victory to admit our powerlessness. One of the many AA paradoxes.
About wanting it all, too fast, I think we must hold on to little pleasures life brings us. All those little victories in the beginning, waking up without hangover, earing birds singing, watching a tree with its autumn robe, seeing the smile in the eyes of my children instead of the fear, having many great friends inside of AA, a warm true hug.... Little joys, simple things.
Thanks for letting me share. jc.toller@euronet.be - ICQ 36308407.
Member: Robert B.
Location: Boise Idaho
Date: 26 Oct 1999
Time: 09:28:36
Hi. My name is Robert and I am an alcoholic.
I'll post this fully recognizing that it may not be very helpful. It's just my experience. While I was still drinking the holidays were the worst times of the year for me. So I rejected them. By the time I got sober, the holidays were something that meant something to others. I've just never got back into a mode of thinking of these days as different than any other days. Except that they pay me more for working on them, and some of my customers act way too much like I used to behave. In recovery I try to receive each day as a celebration of the Spirit, a day to be grateful for blessings received.
Despite all this I do occaisionally get flashbacks of how I used to think Christmas or Thanksgiving was supposed to be, but I just can't take it all that seriously. A lot of my memories play me false. I've learned to trust the joy I find in the here and now -- and that is a gift of recovery.
Peace Robert
Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 26 Oct 1999
Time: 09:35:08
hi,tony alcoholic.i don't want to create anxiety in my life today by worrying about what may happen 70 days from now.the things that i worry about usually 99% of it will not even happen.i can't worry about will i drink on my summer vacation,will i drink at so in so's wedding,will i drink over the holiday's.i have to carry the program with me wherever i am,for that day.but to help all this i read the big book,12 step book,grapevine magazine alot more often than usual.i'm an alkie i'll never be cured,i have to study and act hard for my sobriety.the closer it gets to the holidays the more i read and go to meetings.just being at a meeting is a major part of recovery ,so what i will do is ,ask my higher power(God) for help everyday,and go to lots and lots of meetings.remember....ONE day at a time...thanks for letting me share
Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 26 Oct 1999
Time: 09:41:36
hi tony again.....LISA....HAPPY FIVE YEARS OF SOBRIETY....HEHEHE
Member: Juliet N
Location: Boston
Date: 26 Oct 1999
Time: 11:23:53
Hi everybody, my name is Juliet and I am an alcoholic. I sure am grateful to be sober today and to have a few minutes here at work to read thru this discussion meeting. So many great suggestions have been shared here today!
In early sobriety I was very nervous about the holidays and festive occaisions in general. Some simple tools helped me out immensly. Have my own transportation so I could leave whenever I wanted to. Be sure to have my AA phone numbers with me, and bring another sober friend if at all possible and keep a soft drink in my hand that I had poured so I felt as if I fit in with the others who were waving their drinks around. As my journey in sobriety has progressed so has my reaction to these types of social gatherings. I must admit that I do not have a fear of drinking today but I do know that for me to drink is to die. I cannot drink in safety and I have to think the drink thru. If I get asked at a party why I am not drinking I often respond with "you wouldn't like me if I drank!" (and how true that is!!!)
Congrats to those celebrating anniversaries, it shows that the program works if you work it. To the newcomers, call AA and ask for help, and get to a meeting tonight if at all possible. Go even if you drank today, but do remember that it works better if you can go one day without one drink.
Richard M of Sarrasota, do you know Fudgie? I was traveling thru town and met her at a meeting a few years back. She brought me to the beach on Siesta Key where the AA's hang out at the palm tree. God works thru people and she reached out her hand to me, I will never forget her and the way she shared her experience, strength and hope with me. Tell her Juliet (the actress) says hello! In my 9th year of sobriety now, one day at a time!
Member: Paul B
Location: UK
Date: 26 Oct 1999
Time: 12:47:48
Hi my names Paul and Im an alcoholic. Welcome to the meeting Sue, its nice to see you here. Holidays? I love em, the trick for me is to have lots of nice things to do, with space in between for myself and a little rest. Holidays can be more exhausting than work!!!! I plan which meetings Im going to, invite friends in AA for coffee or a meal out. Make sure I rest well BEFORE the holiday and get plenty of meetings in. Holidays now are not the disaster they used to be when I was drinking. Just another benefit of AA for which I am truly grateful. Thanks for listening
Member: Flora K
Location: USA
Date: 26 Oct 1999
Time: 12:57:22
Flora K, alcoholic, grateful to be sober today. Wow-the holidays. I really didn't want to go to any parties where there was drinking when I first got sober. Since I got sober in the Fall it seemed like the holidays just jumped up out of the future too soon for me. I was particularly concerned that people would notice I wasn't drinking and launch into a discussion of how glad they were because of how awful I was when I was drinking. I had a wonderful sponsor who had been sober for many years. No matter what I told her I was afraid would happen in sobriety she would smile and say, "Yes, that happened to me'" and of course she didn't drink over any of it. In fact noone even seemed to notice I wasn't drinking alcohol. I was also surprised how little most people drink. I had hung out with other alcoholics and heavy drinkers of course and had completely lost touch with how extreme my drinking was in settings where there was alcohol. Scary eyeopener if I needed one.Through the grace of my Higher Power and the support of this fellowship I do not need to take a drink today. Wishing everyone a happy 24!
Member: Deb S
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Date: 26 Oct 1999
Time: 13:39:42
Hi, This is my first step of research, finding this site. I have decided only yesterday to stop drinking. I have never been to an AA meeting, that is my next step. This will also be my first time of saying "I am an alcoholic". I have known it for some time but never admitted it to anyone else. I am so sick and tired of drinking I just hate myself over it. I may be too naive to know better but I wanted to quit drinking now, before the holidays so that I could be sober for the first time in years. Thanks, everyone for your thoughts, you all have certainly helped me to be able to locate AA meetings....TODAY... I'm really scared but I also really wnt to succeed at this. Thanks for your comments and congratulations to you all who have been sober for more than 2 or 3 days, because that, to me is a great accomplishment!!! Wish me luck.
Member: Kevin K.
Location: Rochester, Wa.
Date: 26 Oct 1999
Time: 18:25:21
Hi my name is Kevin and Im an alcoholic. Id like to say congrads to Debbie and keep up the good work the first step is usually the hardest I had the hardest time with that one! I really like these meetings online because a person can think about what they say before they say it and everyone is very supportive although I get alot out of the old style meeting seeing all the familiar faces and smiles! Today is a good day I stayed sober!
Member: John T.
Location: Sunshine Coast Canada
Date: 26 Oct 1999
Time: 19:16:09
Hi I'm John and I'm an alcoholic. Special occasions have never been a rough time for me to stay sober. I drank all the time and didn't need a reason to get pissed. Looking back on the one slip I had when I was new to recovery I realize that I planned the slip well in advance without even really admitting that that was what I was doing. Living one day at a time and admitting that I am powerless over alcohol keep me sober, just for today.
Member: Pattw/2tees
Location: Oregon
Date: 26 Oct 1999
Time: 20:49:19
Hi, all, Patt grateful, recovering alcoholic. Excuse me for posting again, but this is for Liz C in NZ. It sounds as though there are some boundaries to be set by you--be careful of the resentment and anger, my dear. Talk with your sponsor. There is a solution, but it's NOT drinking.
Welcome to all the new folks on this site--it's a wonderful place to share when you're not in a f2f meeting!!
Hugs all 'round, Patt
Member: Bill S.
Location: MI, USA
Date: 26 Oct 1999
Time: 20:51:13
Hi,I am Bill,a recovering alcoholic. I remember many Holidays after AA when I would return from family gatherings and for some unknown reason feel like I had been run over by a train. I had a lot of emotional baggage and primarily resentments I had not worked through. Much of this got cleared up in my fourth and fifth step both of which I took with my sponsor. Now I ask myself before holiday family gatherings why am I going? or what part of me is wanting to go? the resentful little kid?, the rebellious teenager?..the loving adult? Even after alot of work, its easy for me to get old feelings and patterns of thinking going when I visit family so like others here I try to limit my time there, take breaks, talk with my wife who is also in recovery, stay in the day and so on. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday for many reasons. I have felt this way since Recovery after a dear friend in AA pointed out that Thanksgiving is a time when lots of people celebrate their gratitude for the now and for much that has come before them. For those of you from other countries, I hope that you have a holiday like Thanksgiving. Today I am getting out of a rut Ive been in for some time.My wife and I are working through some issues and I am coming out of a shutdown place I've been in. I am still working a lot but I have begun cutting back my hours so I have weekends to relax. We are getting the house ready for our new baby due in January and so I have lots to be grateful for. I am glad this meeting is here. Thanks for reading my post and for picking this topic. Keep coming back, It works if you work it!
Member: James S.
Location: Texas
Date: 26 Oct 1999
Time: 22:15:46
Hi everyone, I'm James and I am an alcoholic. I know that holiday feeling. But I also know it passes like so many other rough times when you focus on the program. Remember to work with others and go to a lot of meetings and the holidays will be a fun time again. Always remember that the best thing you can do for yourself is to help someone else anonymously. Go to meetings, trust God, work your program.
Member: Cathy M
Location: Sacramento, CA
Date: 26 Oct 1999
Time: 23:33:46
Cathy, alcoholic. Thank you all for being there.
My first sober holiday season was also the first one I spent as a single person in 30 years. I was petrified and numb. I'm still not eagerly awaiting any of it. Funny I just counted back and what I used to remember the various years was the man I was seeing that year. Four years and this year I will be alone and it will probably be my healthiest year. I will spend time with my birth family and more time with my A.A. family. There are great Alkathons in this town and I'm sure there are some in your home towns too. If I put it in the hands of my HP it will be OK. If I am lonely I must ask my HP to give me the courage to offer a hand to others. Thank you for chosing this topic. I can see I need to start turning this over right now.
Member: Jerry N. Great Bender
Location: NEPA
Date: 27 Oct 1999
Time: 01:53:26
I am an alcoholic, and my name is Jerry. Thanks to everyone for sharing. I would like to relate some of the experiences I had staying sober through the holidays. My first year sober, I had a real nasty custody battle, and my visitation with my 4 year old daughter and 3 year old son was suspended, and to me Christmas doesn't mean much w/o children. I was quite depressed and actually dreaded the coming Christmas Day.(talk about projecting). As it turned out when the day came I was so sick with the flu, I was unable to get up, or worry about anything else besides sleeping. I guess God did for me what I could not do for myself. The following year I recieved a phone call from a newcomer on 2 nights befoore Christmas, and his wife had just evicted him from his home and kids. I got so involved with trying to help him, all my self pity and misery were completely out of mind. Again, God doing for me what I could not do for myself. That year taught me a very valuable lesson, although it is written in Bill's Story in the BB, when all else seems to be unable to keep me sober I just need to work with others. There are plenty of people, in and out of the rooms, who struggle with the Holidays, my suggestion is find them. They can be found in the rooms, or perhaps a rehab, or hospital, or nursing home. The last couple of years I kept myself busy by making inexpensive presents for my friends. I am not a craft person, but one year I made a huge pot of potato soup, and bought some china bowls at the Salvation Army, this year I plan on baking large amounts of lasagna. What I am saying is, try to find healthy ways to stay out of self, and sobriety is sure to follow. Thanks for letting me share, it's great to be sober, today.
Member: Richard C.
Location: Virginia
Date: 27 Oct 1999
Time: 12:23:09
Hi my name is Richard...I have just contacted AA again...have been in and out of the rooms for over 10 years and have only managed 6 months and that was years ago.....I going back to AA......it is my only hope
Member: Joanna
Location: NW
Date: 27 Oct 1999
Time: 12:34:00
Hello-My name is Joanna and I am a alcoholic, Very grateful to be sober today. The holidays are an intresting time for me. I enjoy them know like I never did before. I was a waitress and bartender for 10 years and I drank and worked everyday, every holiday. So when I no longer had to work and was sober I was a bit lost. I asked my sponser what do I do? She said help someone else, go to a meeting, reach out to a newcomer and vistors. My first holiday I did my AA club's Thanksgiving dinner, service work, cooking, cleaning, meetings, eating, I had such a great day I did not want it to end. I always hit a alkathon and try to chair a meeting and try to find someone to help. If I am out of town I especially let who I am visiting know AA comes first and I need to find a meeting. As my sponser told me, I am a Alcoholic first before anything, for without AA I am nothing. I can not express how happy and gratefull I feel today to be alive and sober. Happy B-Day to everyone celebrating time and to the newcomers, please give us a try, you have nothing to lose. Keep coming back and if at all possible take it easy, one day at a time. Much love to all, Joanna
Member: Albuquerque John
Location: transit in Europe
Date: 27 Oct 1999
Time: 13:18:32
Life in the spirit of the first one hundred of AA is a holiday. Gotta be! Birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Columbus Day, any day! Reason being 1: check my motives; 2: am I seeking a solution to my restlessness, irritability and discontent in people, places and things and 3:if I am reliant on any of these for supplying a sense of ease and comfort then I am not in fit spiritual condition, nor am I happy joyous and free.
The purpose of the book that I read is to find a power greater than ourselves to restore us to sanity and I have found that practising these principles in all my affairs to the best of my ability can give peace of mind, serenity and happiness 24 hours a day, not just on holidays. A price has to be paid - inside the big book text book are the instructions on how to find a way out.
Vaya con Dios
Member: JOHN T
Location: IN TRANSIT IN WYOMING
Date: 27 Oct 1999
Time: 13:53:19
HELLO FROM JOHN , GRATEFUL ADDICT. THE HOIDAYS CAN BRING BACK MEMORIES OF WHAT WAS GOOD IN OUR LIVES AND THE PAIN, FEAR, AND ANGER OF THE PAST. PAGE 449 ASKS US TO ACCEPT,AND TO GIVE UP THE CONTROL AND EXPECTATIONS.THIS PASSAGE GIVES US THE FREEDOM TO LIVESOBER NO MATTER THE DAY OF THE YEAR, AND WE GIVE OUR SELVES THE PERMISSION TO LIVE SOBER 7/24. THANKS
Member: JOHN T
Location: IN TRANSIT IN WYOMING
Date: 27 Oct 1999
Time: 13:54:52
HELLO FROM JOHN , GRATEFUL ADDICT. THE HOIDAYS CAN BRING BACK MEMORIES OF WHAT WAS GOOD IN OUR LIVES AND THE PAIN, FEAR, AND ANGER OF THE PAST. PAGE 449 ASKS US TO ACCEPT,AND TO GIVE UP THE CONTROL AND EXPECTATIONS.THIS PASSAGE GIVES US THE FREEDOM TO LIVESOBER NO MATTER THE DAY OF THE YEAR, AND WE GIVE OUR SELVES THE PERMISSION TO LIVE SOBER 7/24. THANKS
Member: JOHN T
Location: IN TRANSIT IN WYOMING
Date: 27 Oct 1999
Time: 13:56:28
HELLO FROM JOHN , GRATEFUL ADDICT. THE HOIDAYS CAN BRING BACK MEMORIES OF WHAT WAS GOOD IN OUR LIVES AND THE PAIN, FEAR, AND ANGER OF THE PAST. PAGE 449 ASKS US TO ACCEPT,AND TO GIVE UP THE CONTROL AND EXPECTATIONS.THIS PASSAGE GIVES US THE FREEDOM TO LIVESOBER NO MATTER THE DAY OF THE YEAR, AND WE GIVE OUR SELVES THE PERMISSION TO LIVE SOBER 7/24. THANKS
Member: Tom A. 7/25/60
Location: Carlisle, AR
Date: 27 Oct 1999
Time: 15:34:50
Good Afternoon to everyone on Staying Cyber's Discussion Meeting. Thank you John over there in Newark, Delaware for providing us with a topic.
My name is Tom A. a grateful sober alcoholic today by the grace of a wonderful Higher Power and the teachings of this fellowship we call AA.
There have been many good posts this week and we thank you for them. You know November is gratitude month in AA and I believe that as long as I can be grateful each day for the gift of sobriety my chances of staying sober are real good. Somewhere in my AA journey It was suggested that I have planned defense against taking that first drink and for the holiday season I simply remember falling into that old christmas tree and making a complete fool of myself. Another suggestion that I have taken to heart is that sobriety is the most important thing in my life and that affirmation goes with me every day one-day-at-a-time.
A special welcome to the newcommers and keep coming back.
Enjoy Your Sobriety Today!
God Bless - Tom A. ate@gte.net
Member: Carol C.
Location: Georgia (USA)
Date: 27 Oct 1999
Time: 18:25:53
Hi everyone. I am enjoying the discussion. When I first "got" to AA, I dreaded any discussion of the holidays, God, gratitude, you name it. Talk about being closed-minded!! However, I didn't drink and I went to meetings and I spent a lot of time crying (in bed and on the sofa). But no drinking. The next several years, my anxiety about the holidays would begin about Labor Day, (9/1). Impending doom, that's how I say it. I wouldn't go to a mall, the grocery store, anything that would remind me of reality (that I am not the center of the universe). The next several years, I left home and went skiing in Utah for about 6 years at Christmas. The past two years have been spent in Belgium and in the N.E. of the US. Now, this is my first sober holiday that I will be at home in 14 years. I have just ended a 3-year relationship (painful) and I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. I have been sober all this time.
Last night I went to the grocery store (I don't go very often-I go to markets) and there were signs of Christmas. I got that "feeling", but then I realized that it is the end of October and that is the first time I have thought of the holidays. Progress!!! This weekend I will be spending it with about 300 other alcoholics in the Mountains of NC at a retreat. I can't wait. Everything else will fall into place as long as I don't drink and go to meetings. Have a nice weekend all.
Member: Chan C.
Location: Houston, TX
Date: 27 Oct 1999
Time: 21:32:10
Hi! Chan, alcoholic. I always had something to go to sleep on and something to wake up to, with a few trips to the bathroom at work, so I can't really tell you if holidays were much different. That ended, by the grace of God and the help of people like you, January 9, 1987. I did not much notice the holidays the first few years I was sober, as I was away from my family and did not have to go to any events that I did not really choose. I literally had nothing in my life that was not AA or AA related. As I have moved back into the "mainstream of life", I have not noticed much more trouble at holiday times than at others. I try for the "one day at a time" thing anyway, so I suppose that helps. I do have some real downs during the year, though, like the anniversaries of my father's death or my grandmother's death (both of which I witnessed at pretty young ages - get out the violins! Yes, it is self-pity, I know, but knowing doesn't always help.) I pray more and go to more meetings. I try to talk but I still have some shame over having "feelings" that I can't just shake off or wish away. All I really know is that someone once told me, and I believe it, "The only way out is throgh." Congratulations on anniversaries and new sobrieties! Thanks for this opportunity.
Member: Roy S
Location:
Date: 27 Oct 1999
Time: 22:53:04
The holidays can be a tough time for me as I get together with family and friends. I just try to remember all that I've learned in AA and say my prayers and hang on one day at a time. My new-found faith in my HP helps since the holidays are a rather spiritual time, as well as reading from the Big Book. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Dan H.
Location: Glennallen, Alaska
Date: 28 Oct 1999
Time: 03:10:12
Dan...alcoholic/addict here. GREAT topic. Just got home from our weekly meeting and this topic was talked about tonight. I"ve been thinking of the reasons that alkies come up with to call the holiday season A HARD TIME. I used to do that too. In the winter (I'm in Alaska),alot of people get laid off from work...and those who are working tend to get a lot of time off for holidays. This is the time of year that those who can drink normally use to cut loose a little. But I've also heard the same kind of things when the weather gets nice in the spring here. Picnics and boating and outdoor stuff...and those amazing people who can drink responsibly (unlike me), seem to get through it most of the time. Money gets tight in the winter here and people overspend for a single day of the year to buy gifts that get attention for one or two days, then get thrown in a closet and forgotten. I have 818 days sober today and everyone of those days is better than ANY day I spent drinking...and through AA I have been able to do that one day at a time...regardless of the day of the year. If I felt like I might slip, I didn't go to slippery places...and if I were allergic to bees, I wouldn't go near bee hives. I still have relatives and friends who drink, but I visit early enough so I'm not there when the party is in full swing...or I might find myself swinging from a noose of my own making....made out of resentments and fear and whatever kinda crap an alcoholic can dream up in a hurry, just to give them an excuse to have that first drink. I have to remember that I suffer from AlcoholISM ...not alcoholWASM. WE HAVE A CHOICE!!! And I choose to be sober each and everyday so I don't have to suffer like I used to. Thanks Everyone of you. dirtydan@alaska.net
Member: Paul Q
Location: Toronto
Date: 28 Oct 1999
Time: 07:34:27
Holidays!!
Everyday is xmas........if you have the power working in your life.
I'm beyond human aid fellowship is only 10% of the complete picture to a spiritual experience ..........its only through my contract with GOD and the working of ALL the steps that allows me the freedom from self.......
Holidays are not a problem they are a Joy......
Member: June P.
Location: Colorado
Date: 28 Oct 1999
Time: 08:19:34
As with Sobriety and taking it one day at a time. I find it necessary to take Holidays one at a time also. It's Halloween, AA has all sorts of activities and fun things to do. If you have children, sober it can be letting them experience and going along with them to have fun. All least mom or dad sober is not falling down drunk along the way. And when the little kids come to the door were not drunk when we hand out the treats. Have a safe and sober Halloween.
Member: Ya Ya
Location: Ca
Date: 28 Oct 1999
Time: 09:41:35
Holidays and Sobriety..Let's see..Halloween i'll go out and keep an eye on the neighborhood to make sure the kids are safe. Thanksgiving my AA group is having an Alka-Thon. So after spending time with the family and having dinner, I'll take the extra turkey i bought with money i saved from my first 30 days of not drinking and take it to the meeting for those who were less fortunate. X-mas, it's gonna be nice to wake up and see my kids smile when we sit around the tree. I dont think i've seen that in quite a few years because i've either been hungover or in the bathroom. New Years 2000, This early in my sobriety, i'll spend it at AA meetings and not be paranoid of getting picked up for DUI or killing an inocent family.
Member: Betty N
Location: Eureka Ca
Date: 28 Oct 1999
Time: 09:54:35
Hi, my name is Betty and I am an alcoholic. Thank God, I thought I was just a bad person.
Anyhow, I quit having problems with the holidays after my first year sober. I had been to a Thanksgiving dinner, and they had One (COUNT it ONE) bottle of wine for 8 people.
I figured there was no use starting. Then I went to a meeting and told them, and they thought it was funny, too.
Lots of meeting, don't drink between meetings, contact HP EVERY day. It works for me...
Member: marks
Location: st. paul, mn
Date: 28 Oct 1999
Time: 14:02:59
Hello, Mark here, I'm an alcoholic; 'just entered a formal 60hour treatment program. I had tried AA earlier this year without much committment and convinced myself that the whole religious part just didn't work for me. Although I am very spiritual, I did not understand that AA encourages focussing on my own chosen HP, not to entirely rework my beliefs into an organized dogma. With the holidays approaching, it is a difficult time for me as I do not have a strong faith in the God my family and the season focuses on so heavily; I think this is partly why I have ruined many holidays for myself and those who love me by drinking myself out of the celebration.
I know now that I can release myself of the struggle to control my alcoholism, focus on the strength from my HP, and enjoy the love which comes so freely from friends and family during the holidays.
If you are concerned about the pressures and demands the upcoming holidays pose, REMEMBER THAT YOU LIVE ONE DAY AT A TIME AND EVERY DAY YOU END HAVING STAYED SOBER IS THANKSGIVING DAY AND AS WORTHY OF CELEBRATION AS THE ANIVERSARY OF CHRIST'S BIRTH OR THE TURNING OF A NEW CENTURY! I look forward to turkey and cranberries for dinner.
Member: Patty
Location: Pensacola, FL
Date: 28 Oct 1999
Time: 14:33:34
My name is Patty and I am an alcholic, this is my first time checking in online AA stuff. I have enjoyed everyones discussions. Good topic, this will be my 16th sober Holiday season and as long as I stay close to AA (face to face) as ya'll say I tend to do better. A slogan comes to mind for me "Keep it simple". I need to continue to watch for expectations of myself and others especially during this season and stay focused on thankfulness, gratitude, freedom from self, and helping others. I must keep in fit spiritual condition and not fall into the material world. We do it One day at a time! Congrats to all the anniversaries! Newcomer's please get to a face to face meeting asap! Thanks and hugs to all!
Member: Bill T
Location: KY
Date: 28 Oct 1999
Time: 16:52:01
Bill alcoholic here. Well the holidays always bothered me because I had to try to be nice to everyone and buy presents and all that crap for people I didn't even like. Well after a couple of years sober, I started enjoying my life and the people around me and it became a real joy to be around these people I used to not like, It's only by the grace of God.
Member: gyuiu
Location:
Date: 29 Oct 1999
Time: 00:10:06
hi, please help
Member: gyuiu
Location:
Date: 29 Oct 1999
Time: 00:10:42
hi, please help
Member: Josh
Location: North Dakota
Date: 29 Oct 1999
Time: 00:11:54
Hello, my name is Josh and I am an alcoholic. I have been sober for 14 days. I am beginning to see things more clearly every day and the craving that eats at me seems to be diminishing from constant to occasional nagging, ( once or twice every hour). When I think of the holidays I have mixed emotions and used them to drink for joy or sorrow. It didn't matter. I just needed an excuse. This will be my first holiday season sober. I have been attending AA for the past two weeks and am involved in a treatment program. I know I can make it, I am committed and my HP will give me the strength to get through the holidays. I need to be reminded every day what alcohol has done to the lives of my family and friends, and my soul. Thanks for listening. See You at a meeting. Josh
Member: Pamela P
Location: CO
Date: 29 Oct 1999
Time: 01:43:11
Pam alcoholic. The holidays! Last Halloween my husband and I went to a costume party at a friends house. Later in the evening we all went to the local tavern. I felt I was in fit spritual condition or I would not have gone. It was so much fun...my neighbor was drunk and probably in a black out and when he realized I wasn't playing those old games he dumped his beer on top of my head. Oh what fun we had!!! This year we didn't go to the halloween party and I think we will stay home on halloween and watch scary movies and eat popcorn. I always tend to remember "how fun" I think it was drinking during the holidays. Last year was a reminder of how much fun it "really was." I have had lots of sober holidays and the ones that have been the most fun I haven't been with any family except my immediate family and friends. Pam
Member: Jerry N. Great Bender
Location: NEPA
Date: 29 Oct 1999
Time: 01:57:31
Hi, I,m an alcoholic and my name is Jerry. Sorry to double dip; but, quickly, I would like to say that the 12 suggestions for staying sober through the holidays is enclosed in this months Box 459. Ask your GSR for a copy. >>>>>GYUIU>>>>> If no response to your plea for help, call AA there in the phone book, or e-mail me at ptz@epix.net.
Member: Simonette B
Location: Christchurch New Zealand
Date: 29 Oct 1999
Time: 05:06:58
My name is Simonette, and i am an alcoholic. On getting through the holidays....
The best advise I ever got in AA was: Deal with the first thought of drinking,no matter how small, otherwise it will be back twice as big two days later and then the next thing you know you've got a glass in your hand (i.e. say the first step)
The action that has always worked for me in a thight spot: to go on my knees and ask God for help (I can always find a toilet for doing this in privacy, God has never minded the place). I have found Gods response pretty instant.
The reminder that has always worked for me is that no matter where I am :I am allowed to leave!
Thank you for being "online".
Member: Suz
Location: Texas
Date: 29 Oct 1999
Time: 10:14:26
It really feels good to wake up for the third consecutive day without a fuzzy head. I've known that I am an alcohlic for 26 years. I've participated in AA in the past but haven't been to a meeting in 12 years. One day at a time works for me. I'd love someone to comment on what I anticipate to be my biggest problem - my husband is a big drinker but does not consider himself to be an alcoholic. He also thinks I should be able to control my drinking. He won't support my efforts to change my life. He's out of town right now. Any suggestions?? I'm determined to make it this time.
Member: russ
Location: az
Date: 29 Oct 1999
Time: 12:16:48
This is a section of a song by the folk singer Ani Difranco and it has some interesting insights "and they say that alcoholics are always alcoholics even when they're as dry as my lips for years. even when they're stranded on a small desert island with no place in two thousand miles to buy beer. and i wonder is he different? is he different? has he changed what he's about? or is he just a liar with nothing to lie about? am i headed for the same brick wall, is there anything i can do about anything at all? except go back to that corner in manhattan and dig deeper, dig deeper this time. down beneath the impossible pain of our history between unknown bones beneath the bedrock of the mystery beneath the sewage system and the path train. beneath the cobblestones and the water main, beneath the traffic of friendships and street deals. beneath the screeching of kamikaze cab wheels, beneath everything i can think of to think about, beneath it all. beneath it all to get out. beneath the good and the kind and the stupid and the cruel there's a fire just waiting for fuel." This is a quote I always love to here her sing because it is me in a way and how I have looked at my sober life. I have over 7 years which should be over 12 but i had slipped at my first 5 year mark. I had thought that I had this thing licked but I found I didn't and for six months I slowly went down that same path again until one night throwing up a voice inside me said that this is it if I don't stop drinking then I will die and to this day I have not had a drink since. Just being around the smell of alcohol makes me feel ill. but the quote kind of hints to the life if you start again and i can really relate to what she says. And also for the women in AA Ani is a good source for dealing with other issues that you may have. A shameless plug for my favorite singer but it is true this women has help a lot of stuggling people through her music and I am one of them that she helps with her music.
Member: Joe D.
Location:
Date: 29 Oct 1999
Time: 14:24:06
Hi, Nineteen years ago this month (October), I came into the program and immediately began to dread the holidays. I was invited to a Christmas party that December, and practically everyone there had a drink in hand. I was miserable and had to leave shortly after arriving. My sponsor told me I did the right thing but also reminded me I can't run away from alcohol. It's always going to be around. He told me if I kept going to meetings, working the steps and staying in close conscious contact with my Higher Power, the day would come when I could be around booze without discomfort. He was right. Over the years, I have attended parties, been in casinos, sailed on cruise ships, flown many miles in airplanes and never had to take a drink. However, I don't allow myself to get complacent about this. Even 19 years later, if I'm going to be in an environment where alcohol presents itself, I take precautions prior to the event by calling someone in AA or reading some AA literature or going to a meeting or all of the above. And most importantly of all, I PRAY to stay sober before I go. Joe D.
Member: Loren
Location:
Date: 29 Oct 1999
Time: 15:04:57
I'm going to my first meeting tonight. My wife's about to leave me, I'm sleeping in the basement, and I want desparately to sort my life out. The words I've read here are very encouraging.
Member: Deb S
Location:
Date: 29 Oct 1999
Time: 17:02:29
Loren, have you checked out the coffee pot yet? That's where I got so much support and the ability to attend my first meeting yesterday. Everyone is so helpful, they are pratically holding my hand through this entire thing. God Bless us all...
Member: Bruce A.
Location: Crowsnest,Pa
Date: 29 Oct 1999
Time: 18:15:18
Hi Family,Bruce A. ,Alcoholic. Ahh! The holidays.My first holiday sober was Thansgiving of 1983. My family and I went to my mothers house as tradition. After dinner there was an open bar and my 2 older brothers brought their booze. I heard that all that I had to do was tell the host I had to be excused. I did and went to a meeting. You see it was my butt not theirs.I have been sober every holiday since. Always leave youself an out or take an A.A. member with you in these situations. It is your butt that needs to stay sober not their's.Love you all Bruce A.
Member: MaryJ
Location: Seattle
Date: 29 Oct 1999
Time: 20:24:34
Hi,
I'm Mary and an alcoholic. Dealing with the holidays sober. Good and timely topic with Halloween parties, Thanksgiving, and all the December holidays. I always bring my own beverages to parties at friends and relatives houses. My beverage of choice is a 2 liter bottle of sparkling water. When that's done, I'm done at a party. If I feel like I'm going to slip, I don't go. The meeting idea is also good too.
Have a safe and sober holiday season.
Member: Randy C.
Location: Tucson
Date: 29 Oct 1999
Time: 21:55:39
Hi I'm Randy C and I am an alcoholic, I would first like to say this is my first cyber meeting, forced to attend this way instead of a regular meeting because of a broken leg. To Suz in Texas I'd like to say don't try and forsee your problems with working this program. Looking for tripping blocks instead of turnning it over and doing Gods will, is probably why your where your at today. I could not get myself myself sober, I tried for over 10 years to just get a handle on it. The First Day I gave it to God was the first day I never drank. This kinda goes with the holiday topic also. Compared to what holidays use to be like for me, they are now a breeze. Because I do them his way. When I get sad because my sons aren't closer, I work with another alcoholic. When I start regretting everything I've lost [chose to give up for booze] I start counting my blessings. When I get lonley, I reach out. Thank You
Member: CONCERNED
Location: ON THE NET
Date: 30 Oct 1999
Time: 00:08:28
ONE POSTING PER WEEK AND ONE CLICK WILL DO FOLKS. ALOT OF OTHERS NEED TO SHARE. THANK YOU
Member: samantha d
Location: canada bc
Date: 30 Oct 1999
Time: 12:33:10
Good morning people, I've been thinking about this topic all week. I will be at an alchohol party on New year and I am going to offer my services as a designated driver. I'm not going to walk in, jump on a chair, and yell out that I'm an alchoholic, so I'm going to stay sober tonight. I'll just watch out and see if I can put my self to some good use. Also for those of us feeling sorry for ourselves with our glass of 'none alchohol' at midnight, lets give a thought to those who cannot even lift that to their own lips because they have been hurt by some drunken driver. Lets all lift our glasses and wish each other a wonderful, sober holiday, no matter what the occasion!
Member: Rich R, slowly recovering compulsive person
Location: Detroit
Date: 30 Oct 1999
Time: 16:22:08
John, thanks for the topic and the reminder that THEY are coming again. I never handled the holidays well before I found recovery 9 years ago and I still don't. The only positive thing I can say is it seems to be getting better each year, but it is a very gradula process. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Dave C
Location: Ireland
Date: 30 Oct 1999
Time: 16:38:27
Hi all Dave C from Ireland I always treat the holiday's as just another day, remember "one day at a time" No matter what situation i find myself in I refer to the program. I have found that what ever kind of alcoholic mind I have that I can accept things fop a small period of time ie: a day that I cannot accept for a large amount of time. Enjoy the holiday's prepare with extra meetings and live one day at a time
Member: Eddie B.
Location: Albrightsville, PA
Date: 30 Oct 1999
Time: 21:53:05
Most Holidays are a day at a time, but the trouble with Christmas is the constant reminders of it 30 or more days beforehand.I try not to take counsel from my fears. A lot of thoughts come and go, I don't have to keep them. I spent my first sober christmas dec.25, l959,and have been sober each day since because of my membership in AA and the Grace of God.It gets easier when you are over 70!! Just kidding. All the best
Member: Michele T
Location: n.j.
Date: 30 Oct 1999
Time: 21:54:30
hi i'm am alcoholic my name is michele happy birthday lisa c 5yrs. holidays are for celebrating'enjoying each others company.not for drinking.alot of people don't drink .i have a simple plan enjoy myself go to a meeting talk to another drunk get my own refreshment never put it downI have been suprized at how many people don't friggin drink and still do have the loudest most crowded table. god knows we drunks do know how to have a good time so celebrate enjoy just use a little perspective.make plans when you are going to a party with an aa member so you dont get traped there I also have thmy sponsors phone num. to use. driving my own car helped me to not get trapped at aparty.so have fun for gods sake
Member: Connie/Alcoholic
Location: MO
Date: 30 Oct 1999
Time: 22:01:24
Hi what a wonderful topic, how to stay sober around the holidays. You know when I first came in. I was so duh to the program, I just tried to stay sober one day at a time... not being able to look to far into the future, cause I surely didnt' know what to look for or how I should be acting or anything. My first year I had a slipped in the first year, cause, they had a party at the bank I worked at and they had spike the booze, and I had 3 glasses before I realized this so I drank until Dec. 30th, and cause i was such a stubborn person,,, I wanted to prove to everyone including myself I could stay sober... and I have, one day at a time. Holidays to me is just another day, cause today I live only in the moment and the moment is right now. When I look to far ahead that is when I play mind games and today I can't do that.
Hugs and Peace my friends, Connie
Member: James G
Location: New Orleans
Date: 31 Oct 1999
Time: 00:47:12
I am James,a recovering drunk from New Orleans. Here in New Orleans everyday is a dam holiday. I must constantly remind myself of my spiritual condtion and what are my reasons for being in a particular place or situation. For me it's prayer and meetings. I cannot avoid alcohol in New Orleans; therefore, I must apply everything that I have learned in this program in order to stay sober. It is hard as hell to stay sober in a place where liquor is sold 7 days a week, 24 hrs a day. I celebrate 9 yrs on November 13. It works if you work it.