Member: lion
Location: oz
Date: 9/30/00
Time: 9:46:07 PM
am i the first one here?
well then lets talk about courage.
the cowardly lion
Member: Joe O.
Location: New Bruswick Canada
Date: 9/30/00
Time: 10:05:20 PM
Hi I am Joe O. Fear the opposite of courage. I always thought I was afraid of nothing, but after many years in A.A.that all the anger that I battled with since I was a child all originated in fear. Not so much fear of physical hurt or harm, but rather fear of not being accepted,not being hear being reject in love, sex, a group. Not going forward for fear of being laughed at. Some of this fear came from being told by family peers fiends not to try, not to believe, not tospire above myself. IN trying to deal with anger, Ilearnt in A.A. that I was as good as I thought I was, could try for anything I wanted to, not rear the unknown,or people places or things, I could aspire for more, and know that trying was it own reward. I could use everything I have learned to help others without fear of rejection, or being laughed at.When realized this and began to do this I knew I had gained courage, with help of A.A. and my higher power.
Member: Bruce A
Location: Crowsnest,PA
Date: 9/30/00
Time: 10:20:46 PM
Hi you all, Bruce A an alcoholic here. The courage to change the things I can. I can change me.By working the steps of the program and be open minded to suggestions and trusting in my HP. There is nothing to fear but fear itself. I use to be in total fear of something or somebody. The alcohol use to help hide that fear then the last few years of my drinking I was in total fear of something, everything. I came to in AA and have lost most of those unhealthy fears. I can enjoy life now instead of enduring life. What a wonderful life we can live sober. Love you Bruce A. 9-10-83
Member: Nelson
Location: Tri-counties
Date: 9/30/00
Time: 11:38:23 PM
Greetings, greetings fellow alcoholics! Courage is a good topic to bat around the bush for me. Seems that my courage was little more than 'varnish or shelac'. A confidential front that afforded me the 'courage' to drink on top of nearly every water tower in nearly every one to two water tower town between Baudette and Brainerd. Some startling views of the lakes and the moons!!! Really thought that I had begun to lose it until I ran across the grocer in Pequot with Tourette's. First time I'd ever been blessed with a blasphemous breath and a shaky, lopsided sneer. Not to belabor the point, my courage was false courage. Wasn't til I landed in the St. Cloud hospital with a broken hip and a fractured left femur that I really found the Courage to admit that I might have a problem. With the help of some 'crackjaw' counseling and the reformatory not far away (I could see it from my hospital window), I found the courage to admit to myself and to God that I was more than likely what we know as an alcohol dependent personality. Has been nine mos. now since I have taken that first drink that lead to so many quarts of wine that I could have pissed and fished in my own lake in the same night. It's no easy row to hoe, but with the support of my crutches and fellow AA philosophers, I am actually considering becoming an addiction specialist thru the certificate course at St. Cloud State University. I already have my Bachelor of Science Degree in psychology so that with a few more special classes, maybe even some at the graduate level, I can become a functioning alcoholic with something to offer fellow members of my community with similar defects in their behavior and problem solving abilities. One day at a time is all the courage it takes to realize that yesterday was tommorow the day before and today is tommorow's yesterday. Thanks.
Member: Rich R, slowly recovering compulsive person :-)
Location: Detroit
Date: 10/1/00
Time: 2:35:55 AM
Courage? Me? I don't think so!
Member: ChuckM
Location: Alberta
Date: 10/1/00
Time: 2:51:32 AM
I'm Chuck, an alcoholic
I can certainly identify with Joe. Fear ruled and ruined my life. I think it is the opposite of courage.
In step 4 in the Big Book it says that I have fear because self reliance failed [lack of power]. I had no higher power.
Belief and trust in God[FAITH} is the answer. God may not change the situation but He will look after me no matter what. The stronger I can believe the more courage I have to face the vicissitudes of life. The book says that men of courage are not ashamed of their belief in God.
Peace and Serenity
Member: Mike S.
Location: Pontiac Michigan
Date: 10/1/00
Time: 4:23:06 AM
Hi all, Mike S an alcoholic here, with the help of alcohol I over came my fears. Or so I thought for so many years. I too was insecure in life. Oh the many nights I spent carefully describing to my fellow drunks how I did this or defended that. When in reality I was a bar stool braggart, a useless windbag of convoluted philosophical beliefs. I have in the past tried to quit drinking but this time is different. For the first time I do have the courage to quit! Sobriety has a new meaning this time. In the past I talked the talk but did not walk the walk. I was just repeating the catch phrases I thought the people around the table wanted to hear. Now I understand I am doing this for me not anyone else. Now I have the courage to take control and with my HP change my life. I have made a commitment to take at least 6 months out of my life and get my life back in order. After looking at what alcohol has done to me I wonder what I could have accomplished without alcohol. Oh well that is in the past and I need to take this one day at a time as it were. Well at least I have been sober for 10 days now which is the longest since 1992, so I am making progress. Thanks all love ya
Member: SheriF
Location: cool, rainy, Portland, OR
Date: 10/1/00
Time: 7:27:59 AM
Good morning, Courage? Nelson, I too tried to create my own Pearl Lake, and I remember the view from St. Cloud's hosp. and FEAR carried me for another 20 years until another hosp.in CA detoxed me for 29 days and I was introduced to AA. I haven't had to drink for 22 years, by learning to trust this Loving God I found in AA. I found that with time in the program CAN come complancy and although I am not drinking, my HP went on hold and FEAR came back. I faced my God, and fears.. and had the courage to renew my faith and amazing, the fear of not being accepted, not being "good enough" not being a "good AA'er" went bye bye. Today, I have the courage to admit that I faked my way thru for a lot of years and now I have the COURAGE WITH GOD's HELP, to Work the program . Thouroghly honest today I am.. honest enough to face the world and admit I don't walk on water lol. This program works, some are slower than others to find the courage to be as honest with them selves and find a Higher Power of their understanding. Step 2 & 3 are so VERY IMPORTANT!! You can tell I was a preacher's daughter, as I go on and on and on.... sure beats that silent sam I used to be, afraid to open my mouth for FEAR I wouldn't be accepted. lol. Love and prayers, Keep coming back!!!!!!! Sheri (Sharon)
Member: Stan L
Location: Me
Date: 10/1/00
Time: 9:54:28 AM
For some time now it has bothered me that meetings in my area have slowly taken on the view of being cultish. After each meeting years ago, the groups used to close with the serenity prayer. slowly it started changing to christian prayer, then holding hands, then pumping hands and chanting. I (just me) found that i was feeling like a hypocrite to do this. my sponsor told me if it bothers me don't do it. I finally found the Courage to step back and not do it. I feel like an outsider, but I don't feel like i am doing it just to fit in anymore. Please give me some feedback. Maybe (I) am looking at this all wrong. Thanks
Member: zeke k
Location: penn.
Date: 10/1/00
Time: 1:05:13 PM
zeke alcoholic, fdr said the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. how true, when i was drinking, i was afraid of everything, with out a belly full of booze in me. when i sobered up a few 24 hrs ago. i learned that almost all of my fears were in my imagination, and it took my sponsor a long time to get through my thick head. and today i am willing to try things that when i was drinking i only dreamed of doing.
Member: zeke k
Location: oil, pa
Date: 10/1/00
Time: 1:06:49 PM
zeke alcoholic, fdr said the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. how true, when i was drinking, i was afraid of everything, with out a belly full of booze in me. when i sobered up a few 24 hrs ago. i learned that almost all of my fears were in my imagination, and it took my sponsor a long time to get through my thick head. and today i am willing to try things that when i was drinking i only dreamed of doing.
Member: Shannon S.
Location: Southern Cal.
Date: 10/1/00
Time: 1:07:24 PM
Hi my name is Shannon and I'm an alcoholic. Courage- closely connected to faith prayer and love. Knowing that my higher power loves me enough to keep my sober has given me a little courage one day at a time for a few years now. One secret of courage is to try my best to stay in the present moment and not project. there is nothing happening right this moment that I need fear. Any fears i experience often based on worrying over things that are none of my business anyhow. the Serenity Prayer has been a source of courage throughout my sobriety. Hope we all stay sober. Thanks for sharing and letting me share.
Member: russ w.
Location: l.o.l. fl.
Date: 10/1/00
Time: 1:08:40 PM
courage fear who knows.the truth about me is by far the scariest thing ive ever had to face. the good part is i found a place with complete strangers willing to help me face it.each seemed to have had the same inner fears i had you know those unfounded freeze your mind type.well they got kicked out by you know who,and for this i give so little im always in need of more to do.my sponser told me it would get more difficult as time passed and after 12 yrs its clear he was right.thank you A.A.for helping me find that fella who does for me what i cannot do for myself
Member: Ed W
Location: South Bend ,In
Date: 10/1/00
Time: 2:06:18 PM
Hi my name Ed W, alcholic the curage to change was vary hard ,to day im greatfull for it with out it i wouid dead.
Member: Stan M.
Location: Findlay, OH
Date: 10/1/00
Time: 2:44:48 PM
Hi, I'm Stan and I'm an alcoholic. Courage, hmmm. Don't think I ever really had any. Still don't. I'm not even sure what the word means.
For me, courage was always doing something dangerous or stupid while "stuffing" my natural fears and good sense. I did a lot of that during my years of drinking. It never really seemed to get any better. As soon as I got sober (less drunk) I'd realize how really insane my behavior had been. Then I'd have to hide in the alochol again.
In recent years, I've found that courage to change, or just the common sense to do so has come as I've attempted in my imprefect way to practice the 11th Step. When I sincerely seek a "conscious contact" with my Higher Power, and "ask only for knowledge of his will" He definitely provides the "power to carry that out." I thuoght this was a bunch of bull**** when I first came in, but it works! It's been doing it in one way or another for almost 12 years now. Nothing I ever concocted worked for that long.
Today, I won't say that I do things right all the time, and I can't say that I'm never "scared" in some situations. I have learned, however, that IF I can put my fiath where it belongs, in a Higher Power and NOT a human power (including my own), thigs work out as they should.
The best part is that today, I don't have to plung into alcohol to hide from my actions or my in-actions. I can live with myself, and with what I do becuse Someone greater than I is calling the shots.
So courage, I guess for me, it's just the faith and willingness to rely on my Higher Power rather than my own pitiful abilities. So that takes me back to short form of the first three Steps: "I can't! He Can! I'll let Him!"
Member: iw
Location:
Date: 10/1/00
Time: 3:55:35 PM
if there is a higher power,is it not also true that there is more likely then not,some lower power?????
in wonder
Member: Mark S
Location: Here and There
Date: 10/1/00
Time: 6:03:42 PM
I am an Alcoholic you see, and when I was actively pursuing a career of trying to escape all the things that I just could not get along with, or accept, I was more or less in tune with the lower powers of the universe, that are referred to as demons, and I was afraid of many things. I had no understanding of God whatsoever! When I looked at the 4th step to take a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself, I slowly was brought to the realization that I had no real understanding of what was right, and what was wrong. So I had to allow myself to grow into getting an understanding of what I had to do to get myself in tune with some power that would help me straightenall this out. At first I depended on AA to help me with this, and by doing this I started to get a better understanding of what God could and would do for me, if I continued to grow and keep my house in order! They told me in my religious upbringing in a Catholic parochial school that god was a vengeful god who tormented people in eternal flames of fire for all eternity, if you did not worship the pope, the Catholic Church, and all the clergy that were in it; treating their words as law which you must bow down to! I was to later find out that there is no such place as a "hell" where they torment people! So I was enlightened with the fact that demons run the Catholic system of things too! In fact all who teach this horrendous blasphemous doctrine of purgatory and eternal torment are all worshippers of demons! In fact this whole world is run by demons! Both Bill W and Dr. Bob were on the verge of finding this out, but got waylaid by the false-prophets, such as Father Dowling, and others and never got to see this. Well I did, and I like to pass it on!! God, as we should understand Him, is a God who is slow to anger, and abundant in lovingkindness, to those who seek refuge in Him! That is a brief rundown on the difference between the Higher and lower powers of the universe. The following URL can help you understand God a little better, regarding the hell-fire malarkey they through around! ____ http://dawnbible.com/hell.htm ____
NOW ALL THE LIARS ARE AFRAID OF WHAT ((I)) KNOW!!
Member: Admiral Anchorite
Location: 'Your' Back Room
Date: 10/1/00
Time: 6:17:35 PM
Hi, i'm Hi and yes there most certainly is a lower power, that of evil, inane, self-centered, cyclopcystic greed used to fulfil the turpitude of an unanchored external perspective. If a moron were to see himself in this, his full glory, he would probably step back and try to straighten his tie...or comb his hair...and then return to the daily schedule of being a blind, fu__ing dolt doing what so many people do these days....they miss the Point!!! If you've ever taken a moment to look inside long enough to see that you may have stopped to smell the wrong roses along the way,...I thank you for your LIGHT and DIAMONDS!!!
Member: PAULINE N.
Location: QUEENS, NY
Date: 10/1/00
Time: 6:26:41 PM
Fear controlled everything I ever did-every decision I ever made. I used to say that I wasn't afraid of anything least of all dying, but I was deathly afraid-of living. I was ruled by being afraid of not being loved, never being accepted by anyone, not even liking or tolerating myself. Fear caused me to stay locked up inside myself and not allowing anyone in. No one to know me, no one can hurt me. I was so alone and I hated it but I didn't know any better. Coming into the program and working the steps showed me a better way to exsist and even showed me how to live. I am still afraid at times but it doesn't rule me. I own my own life and with God's guidance and faith in a better tomorrow I have a shot at being happy.
Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 10/1/00
Time: 6:53:11 PM
Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only because of the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome to the newcomers! Thanks everyone for sharing!
Ditto, Pauline. Today I still have fears, but they don't completely dominate my life. This, I believe is one of the great benfits of staying sober one day at a time, although I admit there is plenty of room for improvement here.
One of the interesting aspects of fear for me is that this emotion appears for no apparent reason, typically. In fact, it seems to have been that way since I first got sober. My life was dominated by fear then, and I eventually got angry about it because I couldn't associate the fear with anything occurring in my life at that time.
Thank God for AA!
Member: ???
Location:
Date: 10/1/00
Time: 7:22:32 PM
admiral anchoite, whats a dolt?
Member: JulieA
Location: NYC,NY
Date: 10/1/00
Time: 7:29:26 PM
My life was dominated by fear for so long that it began to seem completely the norm for me. It took me a long time to even work up the courage to try to understand my addiction, and it's still hard for me to speak at "in person" meetings, so I know I have a long way to go before I can really talk about courage instead of fear. I'm grateful that AA exists as a support and to remind me that I am not alone.
Member: neal
Location: HAWAII
Date: 10/1/00
Time: 8:28:02 PM
Aloha I'm an alcoholic my name is Neal. Great topic this week. Before aa i let fear and irresponsibility run my life also but now I have the opportunity to live with acceptence and faith instead. Now i can work with what God hands me and make the best of it and my life ,instead of worrying about what someone else has or being fearful of getting more than I need.
peace to all neal
Member: justa alcoholic
Location: passing thru
Date: 10/1/00
Time: 8:31:55 PM
courage is daring the soul to go beyond what the eyes can see~
Member: beth
Location: texas
Date: 10/1/00
Time: 8:51:00 PM
hey, i'm beth and i'm an alcoholic. for a long time the only courage i had was in the bottle--especially in social situations. since then, since sobriety, courage (and other wonderful things) come from within. its taken awhile to figure that out. sometimes i forget and have to ask God for some help.
even alcoholics are born with courage, we just don't know it.
Member: Ann B.
Location: Boston, MA
Date: 10/1/00
Time: 9:50:35 PM
Courage. That's a strange concept to me. Alcohol gave me courage because I was shy and self-hating. Now I am newly sober - about 40+ days and I wonder where i will get the courage to stay this way. I began drinking at 13 and now I am 32. I don't really now who I am at all. Though something keeps me going and hanging in there. I hit my low after I tried to kill myself by swallowing a bottle of extra strenght tyelnol because I just couldn't see the point in going on with life the way things were going. My courage is by getting up every morning and going to the AA meeting. I pray I can stay sober but am scared. I lost my job when I cam out of the hospital and now I am afraid I will never be able to keep it together and get another job. I feel very helpless and afraid of life. I hope that things will get better but am battling with a roller coaster of emotions right now - guilt, despair, loneliness, self-hatered, self-pity and anger that I can nolonger turn to my best friend alcohol for consolment. I know that that is not the answer anymore and that I need to keep strong in the face of my fear. As for God I believe but feel he can't possible love me because I am unworthy of any love.
Member: Lynne D.
Location:
Date: 10/1/00
Time: 10:31:29 PM
To Ann B. in Boston: When I was seven months sober, I was walking down the street and had this remarkable insight: "God loves you." It changed my life. Of course God loves me, and you too. God created us. God loves us whether we love ourselves or not.
Don't worry. Just stay sober today. Don't quit before the miracle happens. It will.
Member: Lucia O.
Location:
Date: 10/1/00
Time: 10:57:45 PM
Hi. I'm Lucia, an alcoholic. I'm very grateful for this online meeting. I needed one just about now. And thanks for the topic. I am going through a "transition" right about now - and as we say, we alcoholics don't like change. So, the courage to change - I guess that hits right on target. I am afraid of the unknown right now: I know I'm in the midst of a change, yet don't know what I'm changing into. Because I keep wishing everything "out there" would change, I know it must be an inside job. My sponsor suggests more meetings and daily devotions. So, here I am. Thanks.
Member: Doug K
Location: Hart, Mi
Date: 10/1/00
Time: 11:24:24 PM
Hi everyone, my name is Doug and I'm an alcoholic. I have no courage what so ever. What I do have is a strong and trusting faith in my higher power. When questioning myself about doing something that I find difficult I first rely on the tenth step ( is it hurtful to someone else? Are my motives pure? Am I being selfish? etc), and if the need remains to proceed then I go ahead and do it (kindness, tolerant, no finger pointingetc), and trust that this must be the way it's supposed to be. If I'm wrong? Well, I've been wrong plenty-I can just finnish with the tenth step too.
Member: still jobless
Location:
Date: 10/1/00
Time: 11:26:10 PM
ann b,
hang in there,the world is a big scary place sometimes,so is finding ajob.dont worry as things seem to always fall into place,just stay sober today.
Member: Melissa W
Location: Texas
Date: 10/1/00
Time: 11:56:29 PM
I'm Melissa & an alcoholic - - courage? WOW! What a subject. ...courage to change the things I can. For me, that's a characteristic that comes entirely from my HP, I can want to change something but I need all the divine help I can get to do it. Especially with relationships, jobs, family, etc.
Member: Brian E.
Location: Phoenix
Date: 10/2/00
Time: 12:05:18 AM
Hi all...I'm Brian, and I'm an alcoholic...
I'm here, and scared to death of waking up another morning with a hangover...less than 24 hours sober (this time.)
Scared of dying drunk, scared of God/Goddess/HP/whatever, scared of being alone, scared of being around people...god, i'm a mess.
Read Ann B.'s stuff...I feel much the same way. Guess her courage, just getting out of bed tomorrow morning and finding a meeting, will have to be enough, for the next 24 hours.
Sorry to pester ya, and thanks for listening...
Member: Kat A
Location: Boone
Date: 10/2/00
Time: 1:26:47 AM
I'm Kat and I'm an alcoholic. Brian and Ann you have more courage than you know, you are looking at yourself with sober eyes. That was perhaps the most frighting thing I had ever done, to look at my life as it really was and decided that I wanted to learn to accept and embrace the sloppy drunk I was so I could remain sober. Courage for me has never been the absence of fear but instead the willingness to keep going on. When I want to give into the fear I pray to my god and that gives me the strength to keep moving because I'm no longer going it alone, I had my higher power with me.
Member: Jennie S.
Location: Nova Scotia
Date: 10/2/00
Time: 2:25:42 AM
I hope that I continue to have the courage to stay sober and continue to go to meetings and AA. That,s how I got sober. just by going to meetings. Now I am learning to live life one day at a time because I spent a lot of time drinking and blaming others before. That all for now and have another sober day.
Member: Lionel.C
Location: Campbelltown NSW Australia
Date: 10/2/00
Time: 3:08:41 AM
hi i'm lionel alcoholic Iwould like to say hello to all my extended family. today GOD gives me the courage to live a day at a time [i love that word"LIVE"]not survive.as long as I'm doing something about this program daily .attending meetings regular.giving away freely whats been given to me,your courage strength and hope .thank you for your sharing. Lionel
Member: Phil A
Location: Geordieland UK
Date: 10/2/00
Time: 5:18:54 AM
Hi All
Been a while since I came to this page. Courage, a good topic, there's nothing to fear but fear itself. Anne and Brian you have more courage than ya think you have. Reach out and the God of your understanding will always be there for you.
phil@phyc.fsnet.co.uk
Peace and Serenity. Phil
Member: Russell H
Location: NSW AUSTRALIA
Date: 10/2/00
Time: 7:45:55 AM
Gidday, Russell alcoholic and not had a drink today thanks to the fellowship and the grace of God. It didn't take much courage to want what you people have, just an honest desire. Perhaps more relevence to my recovery has been the removal of unfounded fear. I didn't get rid of it but it is taken from me when I can hand over. It certainly is a daily maintenance process. God Bless.
Member: Joan W
Location: Upstate NY
Date: 10/2/00
Time: 11:42:41 AM
Hi All;
I am an alcoholic; my name is Joan.
Bruce A, congratulations on your recent anniversary! You would have been on this path for 10 days when I entered detox. So it appears I have been following your footsteps all this time, although we have never met. And, I am profoundly grateful for all who have gone this path ahead of me, leaving the footprints and guideposts for me, and reaching back to give me a hand.
Ann and Brian... you are taking the most courageous step of your life right now. I can only tell you, as others told me, that you can do this, one day at a time. I will remember both of you in my prayers. Getting sober is the hardest thing I have even done in my life, and, by far, the most rewarding.
I, as others here have said, was totally paralized by fears for much of my life. And, I too found the false courage of the bottle, until that too, failed me. Having turned my life and my will over to my Higher Power, and working the steps of AA, many of the irrational fears have left me. However..... fear still rears its ugly head in my life at times. Progress, not perfection, right?
A wise person in AA has told me that courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to go on in spite of fear. I possess that ability in direct proportion to my spiritual condition and my connection to the AA program. When faced with a 'challenge', or something new in my life, if I give my will over, if I hold in my heart the comfort of knowing that God is there, watching over me, taking care of me, that secure feeling that I will be alright, no matter what, I am empowered to do what must be done. If I go to a meeting, talk things over with trusted friends, I get the direction and support I need to venture forth in life.
God bless us everyone.
Member: Real alcoholic
Location: Kansas
Date: 10/2/00
Time: 12:51:54 PM
Stop your whining and get yer ass to a live meeting. Boo hoo!
Member: the one
Location:
Date: 10/2/00
Time: 2:01:17 PM
to real alcoholic,
follow the yellow brick road,follow,follow,follow,follow,follow the yellow brick road.hey do you have any muchkins there in that sissy state????
ha,ha
Member: Timber V
Location: Toquerville, UT
Date: 10/2/00
Time: 3:50:40 PM
Courage. What a foreign concept to most of us. But what most people don't realize is that you have courage already when you admit your fear. Just like when we all stood up and said, "I am an alcoholic." It's the first step to defeating it. A good acronym that I have learned for FEAR is "False Evidence Appearing Real." Take some time. Do your research. IS it false evidence? The real purpose of courage is first to admit your fear and then do something about it anyway. Good luck, Godspeed and many blessings.
Member: Anna
Location:
Date: 10/2/00
Time: 4:02:03 PM
Courage? Well, for once I'm posting without reading everyone else's stuff, so forgive me if I reiderate (sp?) a topic or two.
To me, courage is what admitting you're an alcoholic is all about. How hard is it to admit that to your mom, your sisters, your best friends (good night, forget about dad for the time being!). You've always been an accomplisher of goals, an empathetic listener to other's woes, a fit, excerse-oriented woman -- and then it suddenly manifests itself. You've been secretly drinking for YEARS and all of a sudden, your live-in mate finds random bottles, confronts you about it. You play it off in an amusing manner as per usual.
But then the two of you get married. You're not alone anymore, able to sneak drinks whenever the mood presents itself. It becomes an issue. Not only at home but at work. You, a double-degreed, progressive, traveling, friendly, Midwestern down-to-earth type who has only been doing what's "right" (albeit, in a funky, fun manner - no need to be too normal, eh?!). Jeez-almighty! This sucks!
So, luckily, your husband is a hearty drinker himself. So, obviously, you two can have a merry time together, easily! But no. You have to continue to "sneak" in extra beers or wine to, I don't know, amuse yourself more in some sick way -- not to make fun of him, but to "spice up" your own thinking. Ultimately, that's what it's all about, the personal buzz, the personal high... Although you know it's much more fun and healthy to drink with your husband and friends -- i.e. "normally and responsibly." In fact, when you dip into the jug to "prep" for a typical night at a pub with friends, you often feel very out-of-sorts, dizzy and unable to contribute to a converstation in a way you can feel good about.
So, where does courage come in. Well, for the love of god, it comes when you have to say to yourself (most importantly) that you can't drink responsibly. Your drinking actually has negative effects on things like your marriage, your work and your health&appearance. You don't want to talk to anyone about this -- this is a taboo subject.
Ultimately, you tell your husband, some sisters, mom and best friends, but you aren't ready to commit to sobriety, so you feel that you are letting them down and aren't worthy of their company. Life isn't THAT unmanageable, is it? So you enjoy your alcohol and suffer and hope that the idea of alocholism will go way, like a common cold.
But you know deep inside, it's all about courage.
Sorry to ramble! Thanks for reading, those who made it through!
have a lovely day, Anna
Member: Connie S.
Location: Nashville, TN
Date: 10/2/00
Time: 4:44:40 PM
Hello, Connie S. here, I'm an alcoholic in recovery and by His grace, thankful to be here, alive, clean and sober. Courage, it always came in liquid form, never did it come in spirtual form but it does for me today. I didn't have the courage to do anything except drink and nearly ruin my life and severly damage the lives of those that love me until I had the courage to ask Him to come into my life. I had to fall on my face alot to get it. Since then I can say I have not had a desire to drink. Mind you, I said desire, not that I haven't had a fleeting thought or even pondered it, but the desire, no it's gone. Finally, Completely removed because I had the courage to do something about it. This took a lot of courage. I have been in AA since 1994 but never could pick up a year mediallion or felt any real inner peace until I took this step and it truly changed me. That's why the first 3 steps are so important - I could not stay sober skipping around them and I don't see how anyone else can, but they do. Those first three, They are vital to this alcoholic. Thanks to all who read this, please have a safe and sober 24.
Member: Beth F.
Location: Fort Collins, Co.
Date: 10/2/00
Time: 5:03:51 PM
Hi My name is Beth and I am an alcoholic,sober by the grace of God, the principles oand fellowship of AA. To the newcomers, go to as many f2f meeting as you can 90 in90 is a good idea. Get a sponsor , read the big book and work the steps as they are outlined in the Big Book. If you do these things you will find both the courage and power not to drink today. The program has worked for over 7 years for this drunk and it will work for anyone who is willing to work THE PROGRAM of AA. And that my family takes a whole lot of courage.
Member: sg
Location: usa
Date: 10/2/00
Time: 11:54:29 PM
is thhere anyone here
Member: Jack B
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 2:51:04 AM
Hi I am Jack, a real alcoholic.Courage is a good topic.I have always related the Serenity Prayer with the Steps as decided upon by a group conscience in the Alpha Group located in Reading Pa.God grant me the serenity to accept, steps 1,2,&3.God grant me the COURAGE to change.Steps 4,5,6,7,8,9.The wisdomto know the difference steps 10,11, &12.It takes a big person to be able to fearlessly look at himself,recogonize their faults and have the courgae to do something about straightening themselves out.This COURAGE is inward and its only thru God's amazing Grace that I have begun to find what it takes to move forward on this magnificent spiritual journey. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless all
Member: Charlie Darling
Location: Key West
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 7:28:07 AM
Hi Family Charlie Darling a very gratful recovering alcholic, and fear of not picking up was my biggest fear while I was in Maine, but all I can say is that by keeping close to this sight helped me to no end, and I am very gratful to everyone of you for your Esh to get me through the time I spent there. I am now back in Key West and have plenty of support here, and the meetings are plentiful, but this sight has helped and if you can"t get to a meeting tune in as you always hear something you need to hear, and keep your courage growing. I love you all. New email kwduke@keysdigital.com
ar,and keep your courage growing. I love you all
Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 9:47:38 AM
many times i picked up the yellow pages and looked up aa,knowing i needed help bad but not haveing the courage to follow thru with it.then i got arrested for drunk driving again and the court system had me go to an in patieant program for two weeks,then 26 weeks of after care,75 aa meetings and random alcohol urine tests(about twice a month)lots of money to pay in fines and i lost my lisence for two years and more fines.you see i didn't have the courage to stop on my own,i had to be forced very hard to do it.i started to listen to people and stop fighting the whole process and it worked,no more court running my life it's been up to me for a very long time now.when this all started happening i though my world was caving in,little did i know i was just starting to put it together.please have the courage to listen and accept help,go to a meetings,sit and listen,face yourself remember your not alone.i'm tony an alcoholic.
Member: Sarah
Location:
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 12:08:52 PM
To Stan L from Me...about prayers and AA meetings. When I first started going to meetings 20 years ago the meeting would start with an "I" prayer...the Serenity Prayer, then there would be sharing from everone in a small meeting or quite a few in a large meeting. Sometimes the sharing of the experience, strength and hope of the other meembers was something "I" thought was long winded, or boring, or something that had nothing "SIMILAR" to "ME" or to the "HEALING POWER AS "I" UNDERSTOOD"... but I was told to listen for the similarities not the differences. Then at the end of the meeting...after all the experience, strenght, and hope...they would hold hands and say the "Lord's prayer". A christian prayer...but "IT WAS A WE PRAYER" that seemed to be a prayer of guidance of "SPIRITUAL PRINCIPLES". I have no agruemant with anyone about "THE HEALING POWER OF SPIRITUAL PRINCIPLES". I respect the one's joining hands, but I also respect the members like you who stand alone. I am filled with the true prayer of the meeting the experience, strength and hope, the guideance of the "HEALING SPIRITUAL PRINCIPLES" Lets all keep coming back. I will, it gives me courage.
Member: cd
Location:
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 12:52:06 PM
sarah, are you there??
cd
Member: cd
Location:
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 1:30:30 PM
HEY IS ANYONE HOME??????? cd rom
Member: Sarah
Location:
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 1:39:31 PM
Yes, I'm here...I'll share a little experience, strength and hope. My mother, me and my daughter went to a "Luthern Church" when my daufhter was about 8 years old. We all said the "Lord's Prayer" in the church service... but my 8 year old daughter...said "KEEP COMING BACK"...she thought it was part of the "Lord's Prayer"..."WHAT WISDOM" Although she is of a differeing "religion" than my deceased mother, and of a differing religion than my "religion", I truely respect her spiritualality. I think AA has given her a very special gift!!!
Member: cd waiting to hear
Location: from you
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 2:31:21 PM
well that was a nice little story sarah,can you share a little more e,s&h?????
c.d.rom
Member: JERRY T.
Location: ORLANDO
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 2:48:58 PM
I SEEM TO ALWAYS BLAME MY DRINKING ON MY GIRLFRIEND. HOWEVER, IF YOU KNEW HER I THINK THAT YOU WOULD AGREE. I STARTED SMOKING AND IT REALLY SEEMS TO HELP. PLEASE HELP ME WITH ANY OTHER IDEAS.
Member: JERRY T.
Location: ORLANDO
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 2:52:04 PM
I SEEM TO ALWAYS BLAME MY DRINKING ON MY GIRLFRIEND. HOWEVER, IF YOU KNEW HER I THINK THAT YOU WOULD AGREE. I STARTED SMOKING AND IT REALLY SEEMS TO HELP. PLEASE HELP ME WITH ANY OTHER IDEAS.
Member: Debbie A.
Location: Louisiana
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 2:55:39 PM
Hi all, This is Debbie and I'm an alcoholic. Soooo glad to see an online meeting. Although we have many mtgs in my area, there are hours that this will be of great help. Jerry T.??? Blaming others for our drinking only keeps us drunk! Down here in the south, they tell us when we get sober we have to change our playmates and playgrounds. Perhaps a different girlfriend? From my experience, there was ALWAYS a reason to drink, as an alcoholic I could always justify my drinking by other people, places or things, good or bad. It was only when I "hit bottom" and was ready and willing to get sober that it worked. If you really want to be sober, girlfriend or not, with God's help, one day at a time, you can. Thanks for being here today!
Member: cd
Location:
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 3:11:24 PM
yea i agree with debbie,
jerry get a new playmate.
hey sara where did you go?
c.d.
Member: cd
Location:
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 3:11:29 PM
yea i agree with debbie,
jerry get a new playmate.
hey sara where did you go?
c.d.
Member: cd
Location:
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 3:11:34 PM
yea i agree with debbie,
jerry get a new playmate.
hey sara where did you go?
c.d.
Member: c.d. rom
Location:
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 3:13:04 PM
oh yea almost forgot........
hi jerry hi debbie!!!!
c.d.
Member: Deb S.
Location: Virginia, USA
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 3:17:45 PM
Hello,Deb S. an alcoholic here. In 1988, after two years of sobriety, I stopped going to meetings. Then the insanity started, I convinced myself I could drink, that I could control "it" this time. That went on for a while, with little or no success. Then I realized that I wasn't controlling a thing."Powerless over people, places and things." The guilt, hopelessness, and fear took over. And after a few years I began to believe that It didn't matter if I ever got well. So down in the elevator I went...5 days ago I found the courage, after 12 years, to come back to AA. I know that with my Higher Power,the fellowship of AA, and meetings, meetings, and more meetings, I won't have to be afraid anymore, and I will have the courage to stay sober "one day at a Time"
Member: cd
Location:
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 3:39:05 PM
hi deb s., well my goodness,sober for two years.... .....then you just spiraled down that little staircase into the pits of dispair.twelve years later you come back to aa.well....i just dont know what to say.........but, keep coming back, it works, if ya work it.
Member: cd
Location:
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 3:53:32 PM
please share.
Member: Anonymous
Location:
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 4:39:18 PM
"The courage to change the things I can; I found had to fall back on what God could do for us that we could not do for ourselves." To go from a spirit of fear unto a spirit of Power and of love and of a sound mind is to gird up our loins with the faith it takes to make that leap into the unknown regions of obedience to God. An obedience that casts aside reason, a faith that starts a man on foot across the rocky mountains in mid-winter for no other reason than it is God's will in whom he trusts. I was one that loved adventure but I did not love foolishness but faith must cast even this aside. "Who can chase a thousand unless God be with him?" Gideon is a prime example in the Old Testament book of Judges 6,7,and 8 of a man that found courage only when the Lord said unto him: "The Lord is with thee, thou mighty man of valour...Go in this thy might, and thou shalt save Israel from the hand of the Midianites. Heretofore, he was in no wise able to surmount such an undertaking that would even be considered foolish, but with God all things are possible, and all it takes is this simple rule: "Follow thou me saith the Lord." Reach out then for that faith that even overcomes the world, for this it is that overcomes the world, even our faith, for without it you'll in no wise do so and it's foolish to think small of yourself for not doing what none other man did....
Member: ozola
Location:
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 4:45:31 PM
courage,courage,courage,courageing words of widom by the powers invested in me......i give you courage.....the courage to stand up and be acounted for. for i am the great oz....i also follow the yellow brick road with the munchkins on my days off.dorthy and i will be visting the emerald city very soon,well as soon as the work crews finish the repair work on the road.
oz
Member: alice h
Location: Norway
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 5:22:29 PM
Hello out there. I celebrated 14 years of continuous sobriety today together with 6 sober members of AA. We live in a remote part of western Norway - the fact of there being 6 other AA members here is a testimony to courage. When I came here, 7 years ago, I couldn't speak the language. There were alot of painful, discouraging times starting an AA group. I think that courage is the result of living one day at a time, practising rigorous honesty and experiencing that every painful, frightening thing or time passes, without the need to get loaded to deal with it. After 14 years, with many tough but sober times, I have courage. We can mange everything, with help, one day at a time.
Member: aa
Location: help
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 6:18:14 PM
try aa did not help what do i do now?
Member: Joel H.
Location: n.c.
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 6:57:30 PM
To AA "help", try it again...Thankful for today and the principles of program.
Member: Sharing
Location: with all
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 8:29:23 PM
In Chapter Five, How it Works, we read:
"Notice that the word 'fear' is bracketed alongside the difficulties with Mr. Brown, Mrs. Jones, the employer, and the wife. This short word somehow touches about every aspect of our lives. It was an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it. It set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn't deserve. But did not we, ourselves, set the ball rolling? Sometimes we think fear ought to be classed with stealing. It seems to cause more trouble.
We reviewed our fears thoroughly. We put them on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them. We asked ourselves why we had them. Wasn't it because self-reliance failed us? Self-reliance was good as far as it went, but it didn't go far enough. Some of us once had great self-confidence, but it didn't fully solve the fear problem, or any other. When it made us cocky, it was worse.
Perhaps there is a better way, we think so. For we are now on a different basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. We are in the world to play the role He assigns. Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us, and humbly rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity."
Those of us who want to get a better understanding of God, might look at Proverbs 29:25, which reads:
"The fear of Man brings a snare, but he who trusts in the Lord will be exalted!"
and in Proverbs 8:13 it says,
"The fear of the Lord is to hate evil; pride and arrogance and the evil way, and a perverse mouth do I hate!"
Member: Gail L.
Location:
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 9:42:42 PM
Hi, I'm Gail-Alcoholic/Addict. I quit going to meetings- I let my disease steal my courage. I don't even know how long it's been. My sobriety date is 02/25/1990. I was a "pillar" of sorts in the community of AA- spoke, volunteered, 12 Step calls, interventions- all the things that helped keep me sober and humble. Honestly, I WASN"T a "dry drunk" in the sense of my character defects blooming, but gradually with the stopping of practicing my nicotine addiction for the past couple months, I saw things I didn't like. If I stop growing, I DO know that's the beginning of relapse(with a drink) I believe what triggered this emotional relapse doesn't really matter. I only know that AA was the first place I ever felt joy, and someone had to tell me what it was, and I miss that. I just don't want to humble myself and be seen as a fraud. These words in them selves are hard to write. I will pray for courage to feel that joy again thanks.
Member: terri f.
Location:
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 10:23:32 PM
hi gail,
i still love you,your a child of god like the rest of us.i send my love and hugs.
terri f.
Member: Howard H
Location: Cheney, WA
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 10:42:29 PM
I'm Howard, an Alcoholic & just had my 9th AA birthday. Courage...I used to find it at the bottom of many bottles of beer only to have it vanish when the hangover wore off.I thought i wasn't afraid of any person, situation, or thing. Confronting & accepting my alcoholism was & sometimes still is the most fear inspiring experience of my life. But without AA and AA's I fear where I might be now had I continued a practicing drunk. Today I can enjoy this life as it is without inordinate fear and most importantly, without drinking. Get a sponser, work the steps, go to meetings...the cure for inordinate fear.
Member: cathy c
Location:
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 11:04:37 PM
cathy alchoholic, Isay that knowingly but by the grace of god may I find courage enough to accept, only then will I be able to participate in recovery . ive been in AA for 1 year now I havent yet gotten more than 60 days I used to be bathered by this but AA taught me its one day at atime I spend alot of time praying I attend meetings . courage is the action part still I must say that god has kept me , and keeps me coming back even if I not ready to surrender god knows this is where Ineed to be.
Member: jojo
Location:
Date: 10/3/00
Time: 11:13:21 PM
cathy do you mean you have 60 days sober? thats a good thing.
Member: Joe A. DOS 2/19/71
Location: Portland, OR
Date: 10/4/00
Time: 7:10:55 AM
Hi, cyber AA family. Joe A. of Portland back.
When I first put the plug in the jug, I had practically no courage at all. Fortunately, none was needed because I had a whole world of desperation. That sustained me while I slowly developed a bit of courage.
Love and happy recovery to all!
Member: Melissa B.
Location: Canada
Date: 10/4/00
Time: 1:50:03 PM
Hi, Melissa, alcoholic. It took me awhile to realize that I qualified as a 'courageous' person. Somehow, when you guys walked into your first AA meeting and said "I'm an alcoholic", that was definitely courageous, but when I did it, it only meant that I was a blithering, hopeless inept who couldn't even navigate her own life. That was wrong thinking. I am a person of courage, because I did walk into that first meeting and begin accepting myself for what I am, character strengths AS WELL AS character strenths. So many of us ('specially women) seem so reluctant to assign ourselves any good qualities, but that turned out to be self-deception. So on the growing days (bad days) I comfort myself with my sobriety. I am living in the solution, not the problem, have been for over 15 months now, and that, whether I choose to believe it or not, takes courage. So grateful to be sober and alive, Melissa
Member: pour me or poor me
Location:
Date: 10/4/00
Time: 1:58:37 PM
im just a worthless,jobless,dry drunk.......
Member: Melissa B.
Location: Canada
Date: 10/4/00
Time: 2:00:20 PM
Oops, that was 'character strengths as well as character FLAWS'. I'm still ego-bound, but not, I hope, to that degree...
Member: Gail A
Location: Virginia
Date: 10/4/00
Time: 2:28:10 PM
Gail. alcoholic/addict posting again- With the decision to go to a meeting where I'm Known and can't "hide out" comes a marvelous freedom, a feeling that I'd forgotten! Here's to Living again...
Member: Nancy
Location: California
Date: 10/4/00
Time: 2:36:18 PM
HI, I'm Nancy an alcoholic. I am sooooo glad there is an on-line meeting. I have a baby and don't get to as many meetings as I normally would. Courage hit home for me this morning. It was good for me to read some of the shares to be reminded that I do have a God in my life today and I don't have to run on fear. Fear is where I was at this morning. I prayed, taked to another alcoholic and it wasn't until I started reading the shares on courage that I felt the fear leave. I am again connected to my HP and grateful. AA is where I find the solutions to my daily living problems. There really isn't anything I can't get through as long as I stay connected to this God and this program. Sometime I forget but at least it doesn't take as long to get back on the path. So a big thanks to all who shared and welcome to all the newcommers. There is hope.
Member: Dougley do right.
Location: Florida
Date: 10/4/00
Time: 2:52:31 PM
Hi im Doug[1st time user and X booozer] I mostly just peek in once in a while. Im glad that AA is here for a drunk like me.God seems to work threw people 4 meee. Ive worked THE STEPS at turtles pace. I love you fellow drunks! EITHER WE GROW OR WE GO my 1st sponcer said. Bye you"ll
Member: Chris H.
Location: Florida
Date: 10/4/00
Time: 2:53:28 PM
Chris here - alcoholic/addict/bulimic--- Fear---I didn't know I had so much until I quit using--then boy did it emerge---It has been a long road, but WIth my hP's help and the help of AA and my sponsor , I have learned how to deal with some of it. I didn't realize how fear controlled my life---until I tried to have courage ---THE sayings helped me alot--FEel the fear and do it anyway---fear= f--- everything and run---fear and faith cannot exist together---faith is the opposite of fear---I think that when I finally realized that my HP loved me and the HE is always with me, I was finally able to let some of the fear go. It took alot of practice...Letting go and finding out that He would catch me and that everything usually worked out...the other thing I did , which sounds kind of dumb, was that I had an anxiety box...If ever I was really anxious about something ( I could feel it physically --I would get so scared), I would write it down and put it in my anxiety box. Then I would tell myself that it was now in my HP's hands and HE would take care of it. Just the writing down of it got it out if my crazy addict's mind . Then it was a lot easier to let go of..HOpe this helps someone else today!!!Thanks for letting me share!---P.s. I know the topic is about courage, but my words just came out like this---SORRY!
Member: demeral don
Location:
Date: 10/4/00
Time: 3:10:53 PM
douglee dew rite??????????????
aaaaaahhhhhhh hhhhhhhhaaaaaa hhhhhhhaaaaaa
youuuuuu gggggguuuuuuuuyyyyyys
kkkkiiiillllll mmmmmmmeeeeee
Member: Andrew T
Location: CT
Date: 10/4/00
Time: 3:33:26 PM
Courage, when I was drinking I thought I had alot more of it than is actually true. Now in sobriety, many fears and anxieties crop up which I used to handle with drinking. I'm kind of paralyzed at times. I am hoping this is an after-effect which will slowing go away.... but there is no evidence either way.
Member: Shelly M
Location: Northern Plains
Date: 10/4/00
Time: 3:42:55 PM
Courage hmmmmm! With this concept being so much a part of my culture (American Indian) it can get quite shameful if I don't demonstrate this in some way. But I must keep in mind there is also false courage and the key is know which is which and not be fooled by the feeling of false courage. Honesty, respect, sharing and being open will allow me to maintain a state of real courage. Today I felt alot of feel as I am in the starting stages of recovery, needing to examine real courage verus false courage, pride vs false pride, and commitment vs false BS commitment. My higer power "tunkasila" (grandfather) I know will help in my journey of recovery.
Member: luella s
Location: new mexico
Date: 10/4/00
Time: 5:13:32 PM
lu, alky here, courage i always grew up thinking that i had to be courageous, always had to be the strong one, but never felt strong until i started drinking and then of coarse then i 10 feet tall and bullet proof. today for me it is courage to change the things i can and the wisom to know the differenc. and when i do know the difference sometimes it still take alot of courage to make that right choice. i am glad i found this online discussion. i am here in albuquerque visiting my son and daugher in law, they are expecting a baby real soon any day down,and i really needed this. god bless lu 4/18/92
Member: JL
Location: The Beach California
Date: 10/4/00
Time: 5:50:21 PM
Courage - the ability to face difficulty with firmness and without fear. For me here is the operative portion of the serenity prayer. First coming into the rooms of AA as others have said was a very courageous act. But in no way did I do this without fear. I have to keep it really simple. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Easy, that's the past. Done with that. The courage to change the things I can. Easy, that's the future. So now every day I ask god for the courage to go on and face my fears. This I must have in order to effect these changes. Of course I must do a lot of cleanup of my past, and that's changing the things I can. After reading the sharing above I now really see just how interrelated fear and courage are. When I began to write I wanted to talk only about courage, but checking with Webster, the definition uses the absence of fear. I find courage wherever I can. From without. From within. From writing. From sharing. From giving of myself. I had not really thought much about it, but now I see that god given courage is a large part of my recovery. I have been saying the serenity prayer more than ever. I say it in the easy times and the challenging times. I suppose that it takes courage to have the faith that this simple program works.
Member: ed b.
Location:
Date: 10/4/00
Time: 6:30:47 PM
andrew t.,
i thought the fear i was feeling on a daily basis after a lifetime of d&a would go away too. i thought it was just withdrawl or something.then it got really bad,panic attacts, bad..really bad depression on going,i couldnt think,couldnt concentrate and could barely get out of bed.i went to the doctors, and now they have been giving me antidepressants.ive been sober now for 8 mo.but i feel like a mental case.these meds.theyre giving me just dont seem to be working.they keep trying different ones and in combinations and they take so long to work if at any.im realy loosing hope in this anymore.im sorry i got off the topic of courage but this is part of my courage to reach out and see if anyone can relate to my problem with meds because i feel like im going crazy. can anyone help me please? advise? thank you for listening, ed b.
Member: VINNIE V
Location: USA
Date: 10/4/00
Time: 7:04:54 PM
TO DO OTHER THAN SPEAK ,LIVE,OR ACT UPON THE TRUTH IN A FEARLESS OPEN MANNER IS TO BE OTHER THAN COURAGIOUS. TO THINK, TO JUDGE TO REACT AND THEN ATEMPT TO BE TRUTHFUL IS IMPOSSIBLE. ONE MUST SIMPLY BE WITH NO JUDGEMENT TO BE COURAGIOUS, TO FEARLESSLY ACT AND CLOSE ONES EYES AND EARS TO OTHERS JUDGEMENT AND SIMPLY CONTINUE TO GO ON IN TRUTH. HOW PURE TO NEVER JUDGE OR CARE OF JUDGEMENT ,NOT A SECOND BE SPENT IN SUCH IDOL WORSHIP AS TO JUJGE ONES SELF OR OTHERS . JUST PURELY ACT , NOT ACT UPON ,HOW FREE ONES TIME WOULD BE.
Member: Dallas S
Location: Saskatchewan, Canada
Date: 10/4/00
Time: 8:38:47 PM
Hi, I'm Dallas and I am an alcoholic and an addict. I found courage to be honest with myself and the people around me. I also found courage to leave the bottle alone as well as the weed. I find that A.A. has a lot to offer... A better way of life. Through the meetings, I stay sober and get things that bother me out in the open and I thank you all for reading.
Member: Rose M.
Location: DesMoines Ia
Date: 10/4/00
Time: 9:14:51 PM
Hi! I'm Rose an alcoholic and addict. Courage is one of the hardest things to get but it was given to me freely. I heard it in the weirdest place. At an AA meeting. I heard it through you all. I heard it enough and somehow I decided to try it. By facing myself and others. By being true to myself. That is how I found courage. I thank all of you for being here and passing along courage to others. By walking through our lives sober. With lots of love and gratitude
Member: Gail A
Location: VA
Date: 10/4/00
Time: 9:30:44 PM
Gail-alcoholic and addict- Went to the meeting and ran smack into a counselor from the treatment center I was in 10 years ago. The courage I found to put one foot in front of the other and walk in there came from my H.P. The topic was right on, the old familiar faces smiling at me, and the old familiar joy I was able to share opened my heart again. I told them that if depriving myself of that joy wasn't insanity I didn't know what was. Thanks
Member: RHONDA K.
Location: DERRY, N.H.
Date: 10/4/00
Time: 10:53:07 PM
Hi Rhonda, alcoholic. Goodtopic. Right now I need courage to do the right thing. I'm thankful for my HP and AA.
Mark S., I was born into a Catholic family and after really reading the bible felt like you. But the program was written with "a higher power as we understand" in mind.
Live and let live.
Member: Adam H.
Location: Nagano, JAPAN
Date: 10/5/00
Time: 12:04:50 AM
Adam, alcoholic.
For me...courage is telling the truth in all my affairs and then being willing to stand in that truth come what may. For an alcoholic who made a career out of lying to people about who and what I was out of fear that the truth would somehow take away from me something that I thought I needed to survive in this world, telling the truth and standing by it is the most courageous thing I can do.
Grateful to be sober.
Member: Abby K
Location: London
Date: 10/5/00
Time: 7:40:25 AM
Thank you Chris H and Shannon .. your words are exactly what i needed to here today.
Feelings are horrid.. they are like snakes that bite at your heels! I'm 7 months sober..and i'm still in love with my fantasys. Today I am comming to realise that they are just that..fantasy. Its no longer reality. I seek courage today because i am anxious and fearful. Fear has been mentioned alot today. I dont really feel myself.. I feel like there is a wall blocking me from saying what i really need to say.
Getting sober.. hummm I need to break through that wall of fear today. Courage..
Just for today i'm going to find a mantra that fits me and use it in moments of despair and fear.
Oh yeah ..Mark S.. let your feet walk you to a safe place.
Abbyxx
God grant me courage today, get me sane, help me to hand my will over to you, thy will be done and not mine own.
Love Abbyx
Member: KENT W
Location: HOUSTON, TX
Date: 10/5/00
Time: 10:31:04 AM
Kent alcholic here.....
Thank you Abby, your sharing really made me feel a little better today. I am 4 months sober, and going through some rather difficult times. I have to do a lot of praying, and attending meetings. My courage simply isn't there. I hope everyone has a good sober day.
Member: Linda B.
Location: Wisconsin
Date: 10/5/00
Time: 10:57:33 AM
Hi! my name is Linda and I am an alcoholic & addict.I went into treatment in May of 1989.I stayed sober for 9 years,these past 3 years have been very difficlut.I lost my husband in a car accident and I have 5 children under the age of 19 & under.I stayed sober through the grieving,I met someone who was very controlling & who used,I ended up getting drunk 1 night,I felt so much shame and guilt that i didn't touch another drop again.that relationship did not last long,last year i got into a relationship with another alcoholic who also uses drugs,he put the bottle down last december with a few slips.I eventually joined him in the other and now i find myself trying to get over to the other side of the fence where i used to be for a long time and life was good,I have been without use for 2 days and this seems to be more difficult than before.Courage is a tough one,I am trying to put this in gods hands but the compulsion is still there,thought i want to stop.this is literally 1 day at a time and to pray to find the courage to stay clean for that day.my partner is still using and i know he has it on him all i have to do is ask for it and he would give it to me. I have alot going on in my work life and personal life and i know the only way to get through it is to stay sober.I am so grateful to find this web site to read about other peoples lives and it tells me i am not alone. thank you for allowing me to share with all of you,it feels very good to release these secrets...... thank you,linda b.
Member: mark
Location:
Date: 10/5/00
Time: 2:49:35 PM
linda, you have your hands full,ill pray for you and the children.
mark
Member: Charlie Darling
Location: Key West
Date: 10/5/00
Time: 2:52:49 PM
Hi Family Charlie Darling a very grateful recovering alcholic, and boy have I had a day today, as I was at lunch while at work, and I saw this accident, and I know that years ago I would have been joining my fellow workers at the nearest bar, but instead I came home, and got the paint brush and started to paint the walls, and then I said to myself go to staying cyber and let it out. Well I live in Key West and the tourist here rent skooters, and alot know nothing about them, and don't think. Well this girl was at the stop sign and instead of putting her brakes on speed up, and went under the wheels of a truck, and then the truck backed up over her. It was horrible, and we were all in a state of shock, and needless to say I could not eat my lunch, The boss sent us all home as he knew we would'ntr be able to produce any product this afternoon. I know if I was still drinking I would have almost 1/2 a bottle down by now, but thanks to the program it has taught me how to handle situations such as this. I.m still a little shaking and the wall does'nt look that bad, but it will need a second coat, but another time, for now I just needed to share, and to say I am grateful, as I know where the other personal are right now, and I am where I am suppose to be sharing, and praying for that poor Girl, and her boyfriend or husband, I can't tell you what went through my mind when I saw them covering her body. I think I was just in a daze or numb, oh God I am so gratful for the fellowship of AA . Thank you for letting me share as I feel somewhat better just for getting it off my chest. I did say alot of prayers for all concerned. Love you all Charlie
Member: Roger SRoger S.
Location: B'HAM
Date: 10/5/00
Time: 4:19:36 PM
fear,I'mRoger.addict,alcoholic,presently apatient at the va hospital.I'm to go home this weekend.I've been thinking about my drug of choice since i've been here.I went home last week and i stayed clean.I'm praying i stay clean this week.This is my first time using this web page.I feel encouraged to know that when i get the urge to use Ican get on line and communicate with other addicts and alcoholics like myself.This is new to me and I feel good now sharing my feelings of fear and doubt about going home this weeking.
Member: Roger SRoger S.
Location: B'HAM
Date: 10/5/00
Time: 4:19:43 PM
fear,I'mRoger.addict,alcoholic,presently apatient at the va hospital.I'm to go home this weekend.I've been thinking about my drug of choice since i've been here.I went home last week and i stayed clean.I'm praying i stay clean this week.This is my first time using this web page.I feel encouraged to know that when i get the urge to use Ican get on line and communicate with other addicts and alcoholics like myself.This is new to me and I feel good now sharing my feelings of fear and doubt about going home this weeking.
Member: Roger SRoger S.
Location: B'HAM
Date: 10/5/00
Time: 4:19:51 PM
fear,I'mRoger.addict,alcoholic,presently apatient at the va hospital.I'm to go home this weekend.I've been thinking about my drug of choice since i've been here.I went home last week and i stayed clean.I'm praying i stay clean this week.This is my first time using this web page.I feel encouraged to know that when i get the urge to use Ican get on line and communicate with other addicts and alcoholics like myself.This is new to me and I feel good now sharing my feelings of fear and doubt about going home this weeking.
Member: rip
Location:
Date: 10/5/00
Time: 4:45:52 PM
i wish i was a vet roger.then i could get to a hospital and get help.but i cant,.......sssooo goodbye cruel world..........
Member: Joe B.
Location: West TN
Date: 10/5/00
Time: 5:23:08 PM
Hello there ! Joe B., Alcoholic here in West TN, recovering through the grace of a Loving God ! My heart goes out to Linda, the lady with the 5 children. I urge you to attend a "live" meeting and reunite yourself to the recovering women who know "exactly how you feel." This, of course, is "advice". We AAs don't accept advice (otherwise we wouldn't be here) ! We accept experience, strength and hope. It is my experience that persons in your specific situation recover when they reach out to others who have been similarly situated. There are many women who've been down the road you're trodding, Linda. They're at the meeting TONIGHT at 5:30pm or 6; 8pm or later---ready to keep this blessed gift the only way they know how---by sharing it with you. I know you already know this...the only person standing in the way of your attendance tonight is, uh, you. Peace, Joe B from west TN
Member: Ed G.
Location: Bryan
Date: 10/5/00
Time: 5:51:15 PM
HI I am Ed G. and I'm a alcoholic Courage: Courage wasn't something I was looking for in the bottle, but sometimes I found it there. Exspecially when my thoughts flashed back to the Viatiem War. It would give me the courage to get though the things I saw and witnessed. But now I known that talking about what happien is the only way to go. Taking one day at a time gives me the courage that I need.
Member: kevin
Location: ma
Date: 10/5/00
Time: 7:14:07 PM
when i was new iwas told faith overcomes fear. if you have faithno matter what happens your higher power will help you through anything than you have no fear. that understanding and a shitload of gratitude have kept me sober and enjoying the jurny for along time thanks
Member: S&S/ and that aint
Location: green stamps either!!
Date: 10/5/00
Time: 9:05:57 PM
and the bars in them county jails give me a little faith.....or fear, cause i dont want to go back due to my stupidity while i was drinking it aint no picnic and the food(IF THATS WHAT IT IS)really sucks the big one,not for me!
stayin sober
Member: RHONDA K.
Location: Derry, N.H.
Date: 10/5/00
Time: 9:09:03 PM
Hi I'm Rhonda and an alcoholic. Adam that's exactly what I'm trying to do - be honest in all my affairs. I go to court on Oct. 13 for eviction from my dwelling (me, husband, 2 kids still at home, 2 cats and a dog, our oldest lives at college) If I'm totally honest I'm really going to get screwed and if I'm not I can buy time and I'll prpbably feel badly.
I am asking my Higher Power for help - I hope I lisen! Thanks for being here when I can't be there.
Member: margaret ann
Location: fla
Date: 10/6/00
Time: 12:09:41 AM
Andrew T.There are those,too,who suffer from grave emotional and mental desorders,but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. I too suffered from fear,and anixity and without the bottle I didn't know how I could make it through the day. It lifted the fear,and gave me courage,and we both know it was only false courage. Please don't rule out the advice of a doctor,I didn't. With God and AA at my side, and my sponser as my guide, I'll pray for you to soon experience all the joy as I, and the freedom to live without fear. keep up the courage you undoubtedly have,and thanks for sharing.
Member: telly wacker
Location:
Date: 10/6/00
Time: 12:14:52 AM
rhonda, sometimes in life you must lie like a rug to survive.go for it girl.....lie,lie,lie!!!!!
besides,if you dont they will. and its to cold to be out on the streets. ill pray for you 2-nite telly w.
Member: Susie B
Location: tinley park IL by chicago
Date: 10/6/00
Time: 3:58:23 AM
I guuess this would be courage so here goes
My Name is Susie B and I am a alcoholic this is the first Time I am saying this to my self and I really don't know where to begin I have about 1,000 thing running thought my head and I just want some one to talk to if anyone is out there and wants to listen my e-mail is , I am afraid
truefriend@ameritech.net
Thanks
Susie B
Member: Fred M
Location: MD
Date: 10/6/00
Time: 7:18:43 AM
I'm Fred and I'm an alcoholic. To me, courage is recognizing my fear and then doing the right thing anyway. Jesse M taught me that in this meeting over a year ago. Since then, I've had lots of chances to practice. I have fear of going to meetings, fear of sharing, fear of what will happen at work, fear for my health and that of my family members, fear of picking up a drink. The list is endless. But, I've learned that if I go to my higher power and ask for the fear to be lifted and to give me the courage to face whatever comes, a peace comes over me that I cannot explain or describe. Pete at my home group taught me that God will not send me anything that He and I can't handle. That is of great help to me. It is proven every day. Thanks, God, for being with me this day and giving me the courage to do the next right thing. Thanks for letting me share. Love, Fred
Member: John L.
Location: FL
Date: 10/6/00
Time: 7:30:02 AM
God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, courage to change the person I can, and wisdome to know it's me!!
Member: robert m
Location: japan
Date: 10/6/00
Time: 7:34:30 AM
Fear was the primary driving force behind most of my life. Consequently, I became tremendously socially flawed at a very early age. I could lable a few of my fears that I never had the courage to talk about....until my sanity seemed to enter that area of grave danger. What a hellish place that once was. Thank God I became convinced that I was an alcoholic, and my condition had become fearfully fragile. I often wish that love had been my primary driving force as a kid and young adult. But love for the juice was all I knew about once I started indulging. From time to time I'm still plagued with all sorts of fears that corrode my emotional nature for however long they do. Most are from misunderstanding what or whomever and the rest probably revolve around my selfwill and my negative warped alcoholic perception's that somehow get altered for the good thru the course of some action via AA. Life has truly changed in ways that continue to give me the courage to fight thru whatever fears I may have while keeping that desire not to drink in check. I'm very fortunate. robert m
Member: Kelly P.
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
Date: 10/6/00
Time: 9:25:37 AM
Hi. I'm Kelly and an alchoholic. Courage or lack of it seems to be my worst enemy. I have always been able to find the right things to say or do to give everyone else courage. Unfortunately, when I try to give myself the same pep talk, I still find fear. For some reason the "what ifs" always lead courage out the back door.
By working with my AA friends and my HP, I am finding that as long as the decisions I make are made with a clear, sober mind, I have the courage to accept whatever end result my decisions have made. That is a great feeling.
Thanks.
Member: Mary K
Location: Boston (Raynham)
Date: 10/6/00
Time: 10:54:26 AM
Hi all! Mary, alcy
When I lack the courage to go into unchartered territory I just pretend to be someone else. It makes things a whole lot easier for me and the next time I am faced with the same situation I know I can walk through it and don't need to pretend to be someone else. It works for me.
Love to all, Mary.
Member: Linda B
Location: Wisconsin
Date: 10/6/00
Time: 12:02:53 PM
hi! I am Linda B. and I am an alcohlic & addict.. I am very new to this meeting on the web so i am not really sure how this all works.I would like to get to a meeting on-line so i will keep trying.Sober today and taking it one day at a time. I keep saying the serenity prayer and that is where it is at.... thank you for having this web site, i am so very grateful to have someplace to go within the safty of my home.. Peace & God Bless Linda B.
Member: SharonH
Location: Fords, NJ
Date: 10/6/00
Time: 1:34:53 PM
I am new to the cybermeeting so bear with me. Recently I have been grappling with many fears. Although I have almost nine years of sobriety (as of 10/26/00), I feel like a newcomer. I started this job about three months ago after having my daughter in June 1999 because my husband and I have a serious cash flow shortage (too many credit cards) and I need work experience for my career. At any rate, we still drowning in debt, I am exhausted and my husband and I are dissatisfied with my daycare. I am beginning to believe that I made a mistake taking this position as I have made some serious mistakes at work. Plus I feel I am neglecting my husband and daughter. How do people have more kids and work and manage their lives while staying sober? I keep trying to have faith that God will show us the way. After all, he gave me the gift of sobriety when I was lost in the world of alcohol and drugs. He has performed many miracles for me. I know I am blessed. I just need to have courage and believe in Him that as long as I am talking the talk and walking the walk of sobriety, He will show me what He wants me to do.
Member: rev. d.
Location:
Date: 10/6/00
Time: 2:51:12 PM
anyone home out there in cyber space?????????
remember its friday nite,stay away from the bars and saloons,the devil hangs out there to tempt you in to his den of rattle snakes,and dispair, and all that is gloom,and the vices of vixons. rev. doomsley md.
Member: Peter
Location: Bangkok
Date: 10/6/00
Time: 3:42:08 PM
I'll take courage from that Rev, and stay in here where it's a little bit warmer. Peter here, alcoholic. Finding the courage to face my aloneness seems to be the thing at the moment. I've realised how it's an issue I've been avoiding and how I was just using alcohol as a means of escaping the task of finding something interesting to do with my time. It's a silly question I know and for some reason I've not been able (find the courage yet) to ask it in any of the meetings I attend, but what exactly does a person do instead of drinking? I read and write, I spend 5 hours a day surfing the net and attend a meeting when I can but apart from that and going to work I have very little daily face to face human contact. I know it might seem to some a daft question but it's really asked from the heart. Cheers.
Member: burned out
Location: on life
Date: 10/6/00
Time: 4:32:28 PM
peter, hey that is a good question,i dont drink so i dont go anywhere anymore like i used to.in fact im so damned bored i might go back to partying, ahh i dont think so,but i feel like it sometimes i need a job......but where?.......but what do i do?.............havnt worked in 20 years.... .....just kind of survived if ya know what i mean!! oh well life goes on dimly.
Member: ab
Location:
Date: 10/6/00
Time: 5:16:31 PM
I'm with that lion on courage. Money, I'll never have enough! Love, I'll never have enough! Time, I'll never have enough! Challenge, I'll never find a way.
These are the (un?)natural instincts I hold on the topics mentioned such that courage never enters my mind, until and unless I admit my weakness or defect, seek God's help and then proceed with the day to day stuff.
It's the only way I can deal with "impending doom." And it works quite well when I work it.
I have some deep fears right now that come from job security issues and it's coming out in certain forms of stress.
So, I know I need to apply this one a little (by Little) bit more.
Angelo B.
Member: Leslie D.
Location: California
Date: 10/6/00
Time: 5:22:59 PM
Hello all! My name is Leslie and I am an alcoholic. I just want to say thank you so much for all that you have shared. I have 10 days sober today and I go to a ton of regular meetings but I found that I was having a hard time during the work day staying focused on letting go and letting my HP do it for me. Now I know that you all are here and I can get that spiritual boost before the end of the work day.
Courage for me in the last 10 days has simply been the courage to get on my knees every morning. To attempt to surrender all my will to my HP and not take it back during the course of the day. I really liked the comment that said that courage is the ability to do something in spite of the fear. Fear is there and it's there for a reason but if we can have the courage to work through it...what could be better? I thank my HP as often as I remember to for the courage to work through my fears. I know I'm in for a real ride in sobriety but I'm looking forward to the light at the end. I'm also trying to enjoy and stay grateful for the journey.
I'll shut up now because I don't have very much time but thank y'all for letting me share with you.
Everyone have a wonderful and grateful day!
Leslie
Member: russell i
Location: south africa
Date: 10/6/00
Time: 5:47:04 PM
hi there
Member: the outlaw
Location:
Date: 10/6/00
Time: 8:36:26 PM
south africa????????????????????? hey there russell,
lets talk diamonds..........just kidding....im in enough trouble with the law as it is!!!!!
well,howdy anyway stay sober
Member: seeking
Location:
Date: 10/6/00
Time: 9:25:54 PM
is there really life after death? because if there is,i think id like to start over again.
desperate
Member: Bob S.
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Date: 10/6/00
Time: 10:05:34 PM
Hi all, I'm Bob and am an alcoholic. Excellent topic, me thinks. Went to a lunch meeting today and we studied/shared about the 11th Step. The part that always stands out for me is "praying only for knowledge of his will for me and the power to carry that out". Of course, I don't always stay in that, I'm human and accept that liability. However, when I do stay in that spiritually clean place for a moment, it doesn't feel courageous to do much of anything. It feels simply like my job at the moment and I feel in contact with something bigger, more important than me. Like cooperating rather than trying, pushing, forcing. Guess I have a hard time putting it to words, but I feel in sync when its going on. When I'm delaing with my life in the area of my obsessions (sex, relationships, money, being right, etc.), that's when it's hardest to refocus onto God's will for me, and off that thing or place that tells me I'm going to lose something or be diminished in some way. I'm rambling on and will stop. I'm grateful to AA for giving me a simple way of life, only complicated by my thinking when I let it. Love to all, Bob
Member: John L
Location: MN
Date: 10/6/00
Time: 11:11:24 PM
Member: Bernie T
Location: Toronto Canada
Date: 10/7/00
Time: 9:26:23 AM
I have heard it said the opposite of fear is not courage,,,it is faith
Member: DAVE.T
Location: NOTTINGHAM U.K.
Date: 10/7/00
Time: 3:20:02 PM
HI ALL MY NAME IS DAVE AND IM AN ALCOHOLIC GRATEFUL TO BE 15 MONTHS SOBER THANKS TO YOU ALL I CANT DO IT ALONE THANKS DAVE.T
Member: Ken C
Location: Winnipeg, (Friendly Manitoba) Canada - eh!
Date: 10/7/00
Time: 5:36:51 PM
Hi All,
In looking back over 23 years of sobriety, it is now easy to see that it took steps 4 to 9 to do the WORK that gets rid of fear. And during this time of work, the decision in Step 3 to trust to my HP what happened to my life had to go hand in hand with that work. Simply telling myself not to be fearful would not work because until I had really faced myself and the people I had harmed, fear remained. Today, I see that overcoming, (and staying free of) fear is a process - not an intellectual pursuit.
Love to all - Ken
Member: Al J
Location: Home
Date: 10/7/00
Time: 8:26:29 PM
Courage, is why I'm here. I admit that I have a problem and it took a lot of courage and soul searching to realize that I'm not indescructable.I that God for the strength to continue sober one day at a time.
Member: RHONDA K.
Location: derry, N.H.
Date: 10/7/00
Time: 9:53:29 PM
Rhonda,Alcoholic. I'm anewcomer and I tend to agree with you. Thanks for thinking of me in your prayers. P.S. Iwill discuss this with my sponsor ...
Member: Cheryl
Location: California, KY
Date: 10/7/00
Time: 10:11:07 PM
Hi, I am Cheryl an Addict/Alcoholic. Let me just say that I have the courage EVERY DAY to get up, invite God into my life and do WHATEVER He puts in front of me. Most of the time it's pretty easy cause he won't give me more than I can handle. But sometimes it's like, "Hey Man, don't you know who you're dealing with here?" Sometimes the smallest thing or task can be so huge. But if I have honestly let Him in and am working the steps then it becomes easy. Some days I even have to start my day over by going back and praying again. But whatever it takes. I am willing to do whatever it takes. And if courage is what it takes TODAY, then that is what I pray for. Thanks for listening. Have a happy 24!!!!!!!!!
Member: Jeff
Location: West Michigan
Date: 10/7/00
Time: 11:35:22 PM
Hi everyone:
I'm sitting thinking about courage on a Saturday night. Wow. I have learned from you guys (Joe & Charlie tapes) that when I think I know what a word means or when I don't - the dictionary is a good place to start.
courage-noun [middle english coage, from Old French, cuer, heart from Latin cor - more at Heart] 14th Century : mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty....courage implies firmness of mind and will in the face of danger or extreme difficulty
Courage for me is a gift when I getit. I am not prone to acts of courage - I am prone to run. The courage to do something that is not of my will but trying to do what is good starts with things like the 3rd step. The part of the 3rd step that I missed at first was that I had to be convinced that a life run on my will could hardly be a success is the part I need to remember today- followed with the prayer/thought/idea on p.63 middle paragraph.
It all starts with surrender. When I admit that I am afraid then I can have a chance at courage. When I accept that I am an alcoholic there is a chance for me to recover from that hopeless state of mind body and spirit.
Thank you all for being here.......
Member: Cheryl
Location: California, KY
Date: 10/8/00
Time: 12:24:24 AM
Hey Kelly P! Do you ever go to Oak Street? I go there sometimes on Friday. I think it would be neat to actually see someone from this site there. I tell you what, it took allot of courage for me to go to Oak Street for the first time. I used to get dope all around there all the time. But that was then, Today I am clean and sober. Thanks to all of you and countless others in the rooms. One day at a time. Courage is easy to ask for one day at a time!
Member: Wouter
Location: netherlands
Date: 10/8/00
Time: 5:50:58 AM
Wouter here, ex-alcoholic and a a reborn human.
Courage is walking through the park at night and feeling secure enough to be there, and not paranoid like I used to be. That was the first sign I was getting well, after I quit drinking etc.
I was so scared of the dark, of the park, murderers were everywere: I was nuts, poisened.
Now I feel new, clean, strong, happy.
Yesterday I went to a sort of a church here in town, and I really like what I saw: smiling people, a lot of little kids, multicultural, beautiful women...
And nice food practically for free, non-smoking, almost next door. Hell, I am going religeous.
All that Jezus-talk is in fact masspsychology, and if I can choose ( I can !!) I prefer love over hate and sober over drunk and smiling people over shouting people full of shit and booze....
Thanks for etc etc. love
Eat your vitamines, do your excersises and be happy, bye.
Member: Jack H.
Location: San Francisco
Date: 10/8/00
Time: 8:43:10 AM
Hard times...alas. "Courage" is a wor d often misused. Courage is not absenceof fear, but but the ability to do what needs doing no matter how scared you get. It really doesnt'take much "guts todo what ever you are ar afraid to to do.
eJack.
Member: jack H
Location: San Francisco
Date: 10/8/00
Time: 8:46:31 AM
Dang...I meant to say "doesn't take much guts to do whatever you are NOT afraid to do."
Member: Wayne Saunders
Location: Danbury,CT.
Date: 10/8/00
Time: 12:25:26 PM
Howdy Kidz,Wayne Saunders,a grateful,recovering,Alcoholic/Drug Addict/Human Being. Lion,it took courage to get here so you definitely got some,but you got to go to as many meetings with real people as you can. This cyber stuff is great but you have to interact with real people to really get the effect. Face to Face is the best way to go. You have the courage but it's up to you to use it. KEEP COMOING!!!!!!!!! PEACE,Wayne
Member: Ha! Ha!
Location: "Double!!" Jerkville USA
Date: 10/8/00
Time: 6:03:39 PM
Got the courage to look at this?
I just got some info that tells me that Bill Gates has unloaded some 55 million shares of Microsoft stock that he was holding since January 18th to September 5th of this year, at a worth of some $6.3 billion dollars. If you don't believe me, check it out for yourself at
http://biz.yahoo.com/t/m/msft.html
Microsoft! The mighty all pervading, indomitable, eternal power of Microsoft, has "Fallen! Fallen! Is Babylon the great, and is made a habitation of demons, and a prison of every filthy (pornographic) spirit, and a prison of every filthy (foul mouthed) spirit, and despised bird!!" Rev 18:1-3.
Member: Anonymous
Location:
Date: 10/8/00
Time: 6:07:20 PM
Courage can also come in the form of passion, the passion of Christ. An observer would say it's courage, it's the same with faith, this too would be seen as courage to the observer, it has all the ear marks of courage but simple obedience somehow doesn't see it as such. When one looks back on that stepping out in faith he has done he may think it took some courage but for this he will praise God for leading him in such a way and wonder at the matter. When one becomes accustomed to walking according to the spirit it's all he can do, anything less is unlawfull he must follow or transgress, in a word, he is at the mercy of God.
Member: stacyn
Location: tipton MO
Date: 10/8/00
Time: 6:50:38 PM
stacy n alclholic-- i had a perfect example of courage last night. i recently got my 60 day coin and was so proud of myself i thought i could go out and have a drink. that i was strong enough to handle it. so i did! a belly full of booze and a head full of AA don't mix! after i was completly hammered and feeling realy bad i then decided to call a support person. being able to admit that i messed up again took a lot of courage for me!
Member: stacyn
Location: tipton MO
Date: 10/8/00
Time: 6:50:49 PM
stacy n alclholic-- i had a perfect example of courage last night. i recently got my 60 day coin and was so proud of myself i thought i could go out and have a drink. that i was strong enough to handle it. so i did! a belly full of booze and a head full of AA don't mix! after i was completly hammered and feeling realy bad i then decided to call a support person. being able to admit that i messed up again took a lot of courage for me!
Member: Anonymous
Location:
Date: 10/8/00
Time: 7:29:29 PM
For those who have obtained like precious faith unto obedience and, the courage thereof; It's to these I would to write. Usually I write to those who are trying to obtain this, what it is I write here of: (commonly called a spiritual awakening). Once having obtained such and have begun to walk in it we have found what it is we are to do the remaining days of this life. We have let go and let God. There is no turning back that cannot be called a sin against God. Unplesant as it is to think of such, under the heading of courage I feel it must be said. To begin in the spirit and shrink back is to fall from grace or backslide or transgress or, to become an enemy of God. For the flesh wars against the spirit and the spirit against the flesh, and in this same place it says "you cannot do what you want to do, but rather what God wants you to do. It's no small matter, we often take it litely wanting to add God to our lives, but there are two governments at work here that brings a seriousness by which we are either children of disobedience or of obedience; once having escaped the wrath to come and are walking in the way of God, we've passed from death to life, it's not a part time thing nor can one dabble in it for a time. We have passed from fear to love and are confident but still we must overcome first the world then the flesh and last the devil. We must be stedfast and faithful for if you fall back from grace to the law you have broken that commandment that says: "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain." Lastly I would say to one that is new at all this and has doubts about the spirit he has obtained if it be of God or the devil: fear thou not, say like David did: Who have I in the heavens but thee O Lord. If he makes you like John the Baptist you can picture what you might go through in getting there, from an apartment to goat skins in the desert! One must not doubt, there is no where to turn but back to self will and no man can choose the spirit he was given, if you ask for a fish will your father give you a stone? You wont discern spirits till you've overcome the world and the flesh, then you'll face those of the dark side....
Member: get to a meeting
Location: now
Date: 10/8/00
Time: 9:28:59 PM
stacy n, give up that chip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!60 days, for the life of me!!!!!!didnt i tell you,dont drink and go to meetings,NOW!!!!!!!
get up and go-haste makes waste--
Member: Wayne O'Hara Saunders
Location: Danbury,CT.
Date: 10/8/00
Time: 10:10:39 PM
Stacy,we can't drink and thats all there is to it. Some people can go out and have 1 drink and be done. WE CAN'T. It's not that last drink that screws us up it's the first one. Get to a meeting,get a sponsor,call someone that understands. You got your 60 once now go out and do it again. Sometimes it takes a few times till it finally sticks but it is well worth the effort. STAY AWAY FROM THAT FIRST DRINK!!!!! They always say 24 hours at a time but sometimes it's 10 minutes at a time. You are not alone,there are plenty of people ready to help you. Just ask for help. Call your sponsor if you have one and if you don't get one now. If one does'nt work out get another one till you find the right one and call her whenever you have trouble. 24-7-365!!!
Member: Norm P
Location: Indiana
Date: 10/9/00
Time: 4:12:48 AM
Norm here...still recovering after 12 years but may be getting the hang of it now(slowly as always). My fears can be reduced to just two things...the fear that I'm not going to get what I want or need and the fear that I'm going to lose something I already have. Most of the time, there's not much I can do about it. I have finally learned that when I do things my (self- centered)way,it usually backfires. It hasn't been easy but I have learned to trust God. He has everything under control and He wants what's best for me even if I don't like or understand it. He really is like a father. I have burned up a lot of energy trying to figure out what I can't understand;now,I just let Him run the show Whatever He decides to do has always been better for me than all my attempts to fix my life and its problems. It's all about faith and I'm not going to tell anyone it's easy. And about the Lord's Prayer...by all means,stand aside. If anyone says anything about it,just tell them you don't feel comfortable enough to do that yet. Look for someone else who stands aside as you do or someone who seems tolerant and understanding. This is a spiritual program, not a religous one,or most of us would run away from it. Just keep an open mind. Isn't there some force out there more powerful than you are? Throw away your old ideas as I did and start from scratch. And,Andrew,about that paralysis...why don't you go see a Doctor about it. Maybe he'll send you to a specialist and you can find out what's wrong and if it's likely to last or not? We fear the unknown. "Ye shall know the truth,and the truth will set you free." Sorry to be so windy...a sober 24 to you all!
Member: Pat M.
Location: Lincoln Ne.
Date: 10/9/00
Time: 5:52:55 AM
Courage, I Don't know much about it. I'm aware of the effects of a little liquid courage, but courage is not something I have on tap. The book talks about courage. Remember when it talks about all men of faith having courage? Now here we make the leap from courage to faith. Through the actions of Alcoholics Anonymous I have been able to do some pretty groovy things that sometimes scare me to death. That is not a testament to courage. Rather its a testament to the program of AA and an awesome HP. I think also of the line "faith without works is dead". If faith is needed to overcome fear then I obviously need to keep it going. I do that with actions and work. Most of which are little walking prayers as I hop in the shower or drive to work. It's little actions like these (which sometimes almost petrify me) that allow me to lead the life I have today. All the courage I've ever know comes from debunking old fears. And I did that in a moral inventory. And if courage is lacking thats usually the place I ought to look, at those old ideas creating new fears. NE-way I'm cyber babbling and I'll pass.
Member: Anne H.
Location: Maryland
Date: 10/9/00
Time: 9:34:46 AM
Hello, fellow alcoholics. When I did my 4th and 5th steps it became apparent that fear ran my life. I made life decisions while in the terrified mental set of an abused 2 year old. It has taken a long, long time to learn to do nothing when I am in that state, wait a while, and remember that god is in charge. The hardest part has been learning to do nothing and wait for god. Most of the time situations resolve themselves and I have learned to trust god more and more. For those of you having problems with the god or HP concept, call it fate, time, sense of self - whatever. I've had to white-knuckle it through many situations, terrified and anxious, but learning to do nothing and wait for a quieter time, a closeness to HP before making decisions has made life better. The fear does't ever go away completely, but my ability to withstand it has grown. Thank god for AA; it gave me a life and the strength to live it with some dignity.
Member: Inventory Taker
Location: All Over!!
Date: 10/9/00
Time: 3:53:25 PM
There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.
{Words like "self-confidence," "self-reliance," "initiative", "enterprise," "optimism," etc. play little role in the liberal and leftist vocabulary. The leftist is anti-individualistic, pro-collectivist. He wants society to solve everyone's needs for them, take care of them. He is not the sort of person who has an inner sense of confidence in his own ability to solve his own problems and satisfy his own needs. The leftist is antagonistic to the concept of competition because, deep inside, he feels like a loser. (And most times he/she indeed is)!!}
8.Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9.Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10.Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.