Member: John O'L
Location: DFW Texas
Date: 9/29/2002
Time: 2:45:53 PM
This is John O'L, an alcoholic. This week, I'd like to discuss fear of economic insecurity and the fear of economic insecurity being relieved for us through the program of AA. With the stock market woes of the past few years, and economic issues dominating the front pages of our newspapers, I believe this will be an important issue in the next few years. I must say that while I was drinking I was not very concerned about money, except insofar as it meant I could get my fill of booze. In fact, when it came to booze or food, I'd always choose to buy the beer and then eat the cheapest kind of dog food I could buy, made with chicken beaks and feet, etc. Not proud of this, but I certainly don't want to forget about it, either, because it really happened. And if there was enough of this cheap dog food, then I'd actually share some of it with my dogs, too. Sometimes I'd let both me and them go hungry so that I could have enough money for booze. I was resentful because I thought I should be getting more money from my jobs (I got fired for drinking several times, although they called it other things such as absenteeism and tardiness). Anyway, the point is that money meant booze to me, and for that reason I hated running out of money. Today, after over twenty years sobriety, money means food, clothing, and shelter and it is fine to have sufficient money, no big lottery win necessary.......I must say that although I think about economic insecurity, it does not obsess me, but rather it is another factor in living life on life's terms and dealing with life on life's terms. God Bless all of you always...... John O'L
Member: John H.
Location: Indiana, USA
Date: 9/29/2002
Time: 3:21:45 PM
John here, an alcoholic. A tremendous topic, John O'L. John, I'm 84 and celebrated 16 years of continuous sobriety this month. While drinking one can spend a lot of money on alcohol. Having survived the great depression that literally began in 1928 and really wasn't over until after WWII, I despite my drinking was able to pinch pennies so to speak and not go into debt outside a house mortgage, car loan etc.So when my drinking stopped, a day at a time, 16 years ago I began to try to save what was estimated to be what was spent on booze. After 5 years I ventured into the market with savings put aside.The market was kind for 9 years, but the last two have wiped 59% 0f the gain. That would have been an excuse 16 years ago to go out on a binge that would have erased the growth of the last 16 years in the program.Today I can say that when things to be against my will, then it must be the will of the Higher Power for meeting a down turn positively by working the program to the best of my ability, including helping others. Thanks for the topic.It would be interesting to hear other stories about how they use the money they formerly wasted on alcohol.
Member: paul j
Location: ozarks
Date: 9/29/2002
Time: 9:18:07 PM
i was wondering if anyone here knows of an online aa chat room....if so, please send me an email with its url...thankyou...pjtx@excite.com...hope you all have a great day
Member: Sarah
Location: Florida
Date: 9/29/2002
Time: 9:57:06 PM
Sarah, alcoholic. My entire view of money changed after I had some time in the program. I never had any money when I was drinking, but I could invariably find someone to loan me money or otherwise enable me to keep drinking. Today, money means independance from all of that. I can work at my job and be responsible in that job and support myself. I never have to again experience that child-like, degrading feeling while begging family or friends to loan me money so that I could keep drinking. Sure, I have financial worries like everyone else, but I know that if I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing by living one day at a time and not picking up a drink, I know that my Higher Power will take care of me. I am responsible for my life now and it feels so good knowing that I can wake up each morning feeling good about myself and what I am capable of accomplishing through the program.
Member: Robert T.
Location: Beaverton Or.
Date: 9/29/2002
Time: 11:45:32 PM
Hi Robert alcoholic, You know I didn't have a problem spending money whenI wanted to drink or get loaded but now thatI am sober I am really a penny pincher. My daughter says that I am really cheap. I have this huge fear about being broke in recovery. I hated being broke loaded but I didn't care because I was loaded most of the time when I was broke. I don't know. I know that my Higher Power always provides for me. I am working on the issue. I try to give money at every meeting and most the time I do. I decided to turn my financial issues over as well.I always have something to work on and it sure is nice to have somewhere to live to pay the rent on. I have'nt always had that. Good topic!!
Member: Donna S. for Sister in The Spirit
Location: Fresno, CA
Date: 9/30/2002
Time: 1:15:13 AM
Hi, Donna Greatful Recovered Alcoholic! For being only 45 I have seen my share of cheese lines! When the fog lifted and I had a brain God given to use and I did, my wildest dreams did come true. My fience' and I started telemarketing out of a spare bedroom and today we are Incorporated and have 39 employees. I owe Our Heavenly Father all the credit except the putting all the principles into action to take advantage of the table He laid in front of us. I still think in cheese line terms but I sure feel better now that I can walk into a store and not only wish I could fill my basket like I see others do. God has allowed us to complete our financial amends and then some. He has rewarded us for the steps we have taken. I still feel economic insecurity however I don't FEAR it as I once did, and for that I am truely greatful. As I heard once, God won't drop a potatoe into my hand but if I plant them he will allow me to reap the harvest. AA taught me over again how to put first things first and how to do things in a specific order to obtain the desired goal. Thank God for AA and AA for God! Be with God everyone and thank you John OL for a great topic that I had some experience, strength and hope in. Love Donna S. for Sister in The Spirit!
Member: Ray C
Location: Haines Alaska
Date: 9/30/2002
Time: 2:35:03 AM
Hi...I'm Ray c an alkie.As far as fear of economic insecurity goes I've come to believe I can support myself now rather than live in fear because I have no confidence in my self and ability to get by.Got to admit I sometimes have to work at jobs I don't like in order to make my way but that's pretty much my choice and it beats the hell out of starving and living in debt because I can't find a suitable ocupation.Point is because of AA I've gained a more positive attitude and a faith in myself and a higher power that will see me through most any situation.Had a sponsor that told me "you can do anything you want to do if you'r willing to pay the price" and today I appreciate the meaning behind it.I've done alot of things I wanted to,some at a price I'm not to happy about but it's taught me alot and I don't fear my future.Well could ramble forever but will just say good topic and thanks to all you posters for helping me through another 24.
Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: 9/30/2002
Time: 2:40:49 AM
Hi Everyone. Bill here, an alcoholic from Arizona. When I read John's post the immediate thought was "the promises" esp "Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us". That is a definitive statement. It is a result. What this means is, although I may not become rich by working the program; I will not fear being poor. This promise will come true if I work for it. They have for millions of others. They have for me. This gives some credibility to my method of sponsorship. One of the first things I do with the newcomer is point out what each Step means and what the results of each Step should be. It sorta gives the newcomer a goal to shoot for. A road map to recovery. The day I put down my last drink,I only had a couple of bucks in my pocket if that. I hadn't worked in sometime (I don't even know how long). I was living in a converted chicken coop on a dirt alley along some railroad tracks. In about a month one of my old employers heard I had quit and sent for me. Just past my first year, I entered college under the auspices of my sponsor. I graduated in 1985 and when into my field of study. I retired in 1995. In that ten years, I bought three homes and sold one. I quit two hospitals on principle. I got fired from a third. And Cancer research company ran out of money and closed. All the way from Denver to Baltimore and back to Denver via West Virginia. Back in Denver,I got the best job of my entire life just 12 miles from the point I started from. Hang in there. Good things happen if you do the right thing. LOL. Thank you for being a part of my sobriety today. Bill az-bill@mindspring.com
Member: Tami H.
Location: Washington State
Date: 9/30/2002
Time: 2:51:10 AM
Hi, it's me, the alcoholic named Tami. My cash spent on alcohol was up there. Boy! I wouldn't want to drink alone either, so I had to buy all my newfound bar buddies drinks until the booze mad me mean then I had another good reson to black-out. I started in resenting that those drunks weren't buying any for me, however, I had failed to notice that I was buying far more drinks for myself before they ever finished the one or two I had bought for them. The fight was on! And I always lost. To think of all the cash that I spent would no doubt feed and cloth a small village. You see, this young lady has been drinking since age 12. Raised by adoptive grandparents, alcoholic mom dying from liver failure who traded her 4 kids in for her addiction, then was hit head on by a drunk teen needed just one more reson to drink, so, suddenly money was no object, yet still another reason to drink. Yup, I was a real piece of work, still am. Can't be left alone in a strange city, I'll relaps, I didn't, but MAN I wanted to. Is the honeymoon over? How do I get back that uphoria of my spiritual awakening? I now feel alone again somehow after 96 days of staying sober. I think I'll call my sponser. Thank you all for being there for me. tammibob@msn.com
Member: Charlie Darling
Location: Key West via Ft Myers FL
Date: 9/30/2002
Time: 8:47:52 AM
Good Morning family Charlie Darling a very grateful recovering Alcholic. Great topic John , as I too when I was out there would only think about myself, and my drinking, as I always had money to get my bottle, but I did not seem to care about other things, such as food, or other payments. But today being sober for over 5 years, I still don't have the finances, but I am happy joyous and free from alchol. I know today that what finances I have goes for things that is needed, and not what I want. I stole liquer where I worked as a clerk in a liquer store, also I lied about not having moeny so has to get my booze. Today I can say we have so much monbey, and I don't seem to have the worries, as I know my HP won't let me down. I have not worked since Mar, and have had no money coming in, and I am still waiting for unemployment, and tomorrow I have my appeal hearing, and what happens will happen. I try not to worry about that as it will only bring back my old habits. I am lucky I have a partner who continues to support me, and knows that we are doing our best. Thank God to all of you in AA for teaching me to let go, and let God handel things as they come up, and alot of prayers. Still trying to find work, but the area I live there is not alot of jobs for a 61 yr old, but I knowin my heart we will return to Key West, and there at least I will find something. But we have to get the finances to move back there first, so I just take it one day at a time, and Pray for God to help me just get through today, as I will handel tomorrow when it gets here. I Love you all, and thank you for letting me share. kwduke_1999@yahoo.com
Member: Tom S
Location: NYC
Date: 9/30/2002
Time: 9:36:45 AM
Tom, alcoholic. God, sobriety and the AA program are good. When I was still drinking, was a "responsible drunk" such that I was never without work and usually made good money. However, I always managed to only live from paycheck to paycheck; able to pay the bills but never getting "ahead" because my focus everyday was chasing the next drunk. I look back and am amazed at how reckless I was with the dollar even in those last months when I was unemployed. I ended up accumulating massive debt and eventually, in my 2nd yr of sobriety, had to declare bankrupcy, which was very difficult but cleared all of my debt including state taxed that I owed. At the time, I had been sober only a little over a yr and had also been at my current job the same amount of time. This was a job that I took out of desperation, where I had to accept a massive salary cut, more than 30% less. Due to my having asked for the willingness to accept my situation (from my HP) and also my willingness to show up for myself, my sobriety and my program (including my "lower level" job), by some "miracle" I have gained promotion and more than doubled my salary. I call it a miracle because the blessings (part of the promises) that occurred for me happened due to the fact that I "kept coming back" one day at a time and seriously listened to the suggestions from sponsors, meetings and the Big Book. I think it also made a difference that I was able to somehow accept my financial situation, and continously show up and be a "worker among workers" for a job that I would never have accepted while I was using. I am continously, daily, grateful for these things, and never forget how I was 5 yrs ago when I was drinking. I am aware of how easy it would be for me to pick up that first drink today if I weren't continuing to show up one day at a time even after 5 yrs. I have to be aware that I would pick up right back where I left off, and that I would loose everything that I have gained. Thank you for letting me share, and for my sobriety!
Member: marty g
Location: williamsburg ohio
Date: 9/30/2002
Time: 11:31:41 AM
hi my name is marty g i been sober for over 12 years,right now i am looking for a job my last job it close,today i am going out to find one but i still have a problem wity changig jobs,i was a school mechanic going to try to get a job selling auto parts.but i know one thing it does not matter how bad it would get,taking a drink that would kill me,i am all most sixty yeas old,AA has given me a lotit may not be money but a better life.and by the grace of god i am still maried to my wife for 33years she put up with a lot of bull from me thank for letting me share
Member: Kim D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: 9/30/2002
Time: 11:50:50 AM
Hi everyone. My name is Kim and I am an alcoholic. Thanks for the topic, John. In the Promises it reads, "Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us...". When I was newer to the program, I believed that the promises where pointing out that if I stopped drinking, then my money problems would stop. Ooopps ~ wrong assumption on my behalf!!!! However, what I now understand to be true is that if I stay sober and work the program of AA, then my FEAR of economic insecurity will leave, not the economic uncertainity itself. Why? Well, for me, it comes down to one word: FAITH. I recently found myself in a position of supporting myself and my two children. At first, FEAR paralyzed my thinking - my action - because mathmatically on paper I could not streth my income enough to keep a roof over our heads, food on the table, utilities and daycare expenses so I could work. But, when I kept doing the "next right thing", like staying sober, praying for God' will to be done in my life and to release me from the suffocating web of fear I was in, and to continue reaching out to others, the FEAR lifted and, in time, IBM's started to happen (itty bitty miracles). Like, I offered to mow the lawn and my landlord reduced the rent $50.00 a month. Because there was one less person living with me, my utilities were cut almost in half. I soon found myself with enough to get by. Not with enough $$ for everything I wanted, but certainly enough for everything me and my children NEEDED. The lesson it taught me is this: when life throws us a curve ball, step up to the plate and continue to "do the next right thing." Staying sober - having Faith - and praying through the fear saved me from drowing in fear and self-pity. Thank you, AA.
Member: Frank E.
Location: Dickson,TN.
Date: 9/30/2002
Time: 12:30:53 PM
Hey Im a drunk named Frank, Man what a topic,the Promises.When I surrenderd I couldnt even buy a pk. of cig.Like the othe gent said,I would choose booze/drugs over food or ANY thing else.I didnt worry about my bills,I wasnt going to pay them anyway(responsability?).Today,thanks to my GOD & this fellowship,al my bills are paid & money in my pock.I dont have to worry either!I know today if I trust my GOD,do the things this program has taught me,I WILL have what I Need.I can use all that time I use to spend worrying on working toward the things I want.Thank you family,Thank you AA.fwex2@yahoo.com
Member: John B
Location: KY
Date: 9/30/2002
Time: 1:57:49 PM
Hi, John alcoholic, I've had a lot of financial problems the past couple of years. I'm coming up on 17 years sober and have built up a lot over that time, including a wife and two kids. I lost half my net worth in the stock market since 1999 and had to sell our house and move into a smaller one. However, losing the money has forced me to re-examine my sobriety because I had lost my spiritual foundation. I am slowly working to find it again. Like most setbacks since I've been sober, this one will lead me to a better place than I would have ever been otherwise. I had gotten complacent in sobriety. The financial problems have forced me back into the steps and AA like never before. I'm sure my financial problems will take care of themselves in God's time, but like the 12X12 says "we have to put spiritual values ahead of material values." God bless all and thanks for letting me share.
Member: Sarah
Location: NW USA
Date: 9/30/2002
Time: 3:10:53 PM
Hi,my name is Sarah and I'm an alcoholic. Great topic. Fear of economic insecurity, I realize this A.A. program was started by a stock broker after the crash of '29 with the help of a Md. and other members (many whom unemployed and in the soup lines). The A.A. program of sharing our Experience, Strength and Hope for the purpose of a "Healing Power". I am 61 years old without an income ... I may have to sell my house ('let go' like John B of KY shared) to provide myself with an income. That's what I have today ... not a 'loney fear of economic insecurity' but the "Healing Power" of shared Experience, Strength and Hopeand the action of the Steps and Traditions. Thanks one and all for sharing it gives a "Healing Power" for another 24 hours of soberity.
Member: Lorraine P.
Location: Southern California
Date: 9/30/2002
Time: 3:40:01 PM
Hi, I'm Lorraine P. and I'm alcoholic. When I was drinking, I, too, did not give any thought to the amount of money I was spending. Self-centered as I am, my thinking was "my husband is making a bundle, I'll never run out of money." Sad to admit, that's where my head was at. Now that my head has cleared and I am beginning to see what my responsibilities are, I am very careful with my attitude with money. My husband nearly lost his job not too long ago and I knew the fear of financial insecurity. It taught me that nothing is ever for sure and nobody deserves a free ride at another's expense. So, now I am studying for my teaching credentials. I have since changed my mind from living off my husband's pay check to "how can I productively contribute to our home life, whether monetarily or otherwise?" Thank you AA for helping me grow up.
Member: JimB.
Location: RMI
Date: 9/30/2002
Time: 7:38:58 PM
JimB. here happy to know I'm an alcoholic and grateful to be sober today. One of the first things I expierienced being sober was the ability to have a few dollars in my pocket and not have to try to figure how I could get the biggest chemical bang out of it. I started to be able to handle money responsibily. This from an ex drunk who before getting sober had never even had a checking account before. At that time I could not qualify for a credit card because of no history. I had to start out with a card where I gave the credit company so much money up front and they in turn granted me that much credit. Today I have all of the major name cards and learning to use these cards responsibily was a lesson in it self. I also know what it is like to work 2 jobs and barely be able to make ends meet. Today I am gainfully employed outside of the U.S. so that I am exempted from federal and state taxes so that I get to keep what I earn. I too am expieriencing a 60% loss on my investments in the market and will just have to wait it out until the market turns around again. Now I am looking into more secure investments such as bonds, security bills and CD's so that I dont end up bankrupt when it is time for me to retire. Throughout my sobriety I have been employed and have not had to borrow money from family or friends. I have not missed a rent payment or ended up homeless and for that I am trully thankful to HP and you folks in AA. Thanks for 12 steppin me!
Member: kimberley
Location: washington
Date: 9/30/2002
Time: 8:56:27 PM
kimberley here recovering alcholic, wow what a topic, i have been homeless and dead broke in this program after some years sober, but the fear was gone, i am grateful for all that i have today, it cannot be bought, and it is free for the taking, thanks everyone, i have 12 years sober today by the grace of god,and i wouldnt trade a minute of it for anything, i found my self here in aa, and i live my life by 12 steps, sometimes i still get whacked thinking, but like it says there is only one do not in the whole book, do not be discouraged,keep it simple.
Member: Vivianne V.
Location: Columbia, SC
Date: 9/30/2002
Time: 8:57:01 PM
Hey, John O'L, thanks for introducing this topic. I too, think it is a very important one, and certainly very timely. Yep, as time goes by, and as one becomes a responsible, productive member of society (Wow!), economic security (and good planning) become increasingly important. I agree that it's an important matter of "life on life's terms" and it does call into play many virtues: being prudent, responsible, delaying instant gratification, etc, etc. As with any issue in dealing with life on life's terms, it can also be fraught with feelings of anxiety, worry, etc. And so we work our program, right? Another thing to consider, at least for this recovering alcoholic, is how many people depend on us (me). Wow! So, I know that actions affect not only my quality of life, but the quality of life of many people that I love. That's just the way it is. So, thanks John O'L, for your thoughtful contribution of topic. Vivianne V.
Member: Julia L.
Location: Poplarville MS
Date: 9/30/2002
Time: 10:17:33 PM
My name is Julia and I am an alcoholic. Thanks for the Hope. I only have 90 days today. I needed to hear that it does get better. Thanks again.
Member: marty g
Location: williamsburg ohio
Date: 9/30/2002
Time: 11:19:14 PM
just wanted to let you know i feel a lot better after reading your letter,that i am not alone out here.thank you all and god bless you marty g
Member: Dolores R.
Location: South Jersey
Date: 9/30/2002
Time: 11:40:42 PM
Dolores R. a very grateful recovering alcoholic. Great topic fear of economic insecurity and how that can change in sobriety. Five years ago I went to any length to get my next drink and cigarette. I gave them both up at the same time (being a typical alcoholic all or nothing at all!) One day at a time I am alcohol and smoke free. Five years ago my husband gave up smoking, but not booze. 18 months ago he joined AA. This past spring we celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary in Paris and spent two weeks touring the south of France. I do have usual fears but my greatest fear is fear of picking up that first drink. Without my higher power and the fellowship I wouldn't be alive today. I had lost it all, every single thing and most importantly myself. I never want to lose me again, and I don't have to as long as I continue to follow this easier, softer way one day at a time. Thank you John O'L and all of you who have shared your experiences so far. I certainly have heard what I needed.
Member: Jack B
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Date: 10/1/2002
Time: 2:41:38 AM
Hi, I am Jack, a real alcoholic. I have learned from almost 15 years of continous sobriety, that God gives me all I need for a twenty four hr period, and nothing more than I can handle.I can say from the bottom of my heart, that I have everything I need for today and almost everything that I want. No amount of money or lack of money can ever get me to go back to the personal hell I lived when I drank. The promises talk about financial insecurities leaving us, that doesn't mean God drops the lottery into our laps, to me it means if I put my faith in him on a daily basis, he will provide me with what I need. I knew a young couple in Washington D C that lived in a cardboard box under the Washington Monument. Now that sure as heck wasn't the station of life they would have liked, but they shared in a A A meeting that living in that box was better than picking up a drink or a drug. There is an old saying that the greatest things in life aren't things. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless.
Member: Kathy D
Location: AM, OH
Date: 10/1/2002
Time: 6:01:43 AM
Hi! I'm Kathy and I am an alcoholic. I lost my job about 6 weeks ago and my first thought was why did GOD let this happen to me after I was sober? After I got over the self-pity I was able to say Thank GOD this happened to me after I was sober. I know if this was 1999 and I was still drinking that I would not be able to go out and even look for another job. Nor would I be worried about where the money was coming from for the food, rent, utilities, etc. All I would have cared about was where the money was coming from for my next bottle. I thank GOD today that I have no fear of economic insecurity. I just take it a day at a time, do the footwork (job ads, resumes, interviews, etc) and ask for HIS WILL not mine.
Member: Jennifer K.
Location: Dallas TX
Date: 10/1/2002
Time: 8:53:59 AM
Jennifer, grateful recovering alcoholic. When I hit my spiritual bottom, I was married with two children (a boy and a girl), a dog, two cats, and two cars in the garage. All my "dreams" had come true. Retired to being a stay-at-home mom at the age of 36, I had nothing left in life to accomplish. Drinking became my full-time job. Within a year I was so miserable due to alcoholism that I was willing to walk away from it all and live on the curb if that was what it would take to get sober and stay sober. I started my black out drinking career when I was 11 years old. I could no more will myself to stop drinking than I could will my heart to stop beating. Thank God for AA. I still have the same conviction today. So far, God hasn't found it necessary to see me homeless and hungry. I left the marriage, have custody of the boy and the cats and still have a vehicle to drive. It's been almost a year since I got sober, and I still live indoors and eat food. My priorities in life changed when alcohol stopped working. Money didn't solve my problems. I was the problem. Nice things are nice, but sobriety is priceless. I also believe that the opposite of fear is FAITH. Today, I have faith. Thanks to this Group Of Drunks and GOD. One day at a time... Always an honor and a priviledge to share in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous!
Member: PappyPaw
Location: MI
Date: 10/1/2002
Time: 9:13:10 AM
Hi Gang, I am PappyPaw, I am a grateful alcoholic. I had a wonderful thing happen to me right off this morning...I awoke sober. Today is mine and I have a chioce on how I will spend it. I think I will seek another day living this life where I do not have to drink. I could never benift from any amount of economic gain if I were not sober. Julia, at one time even Bill Wilson only had ONE DAY! You have achieved something 90% of all alcoholics never achieve..you got started on a program of soberiety. Keep coming back...It works. Mart G., because of you and others like you I to am no longer alone. The greatest fire ever is a "Soul on fire". AA is a gathering of souls on fire and it burns brightly shedding a good light to all who want to be a part of it. AA is a spiritual vehicle that can lead us to soberiety...once gained the rest will follow as we are ready for the gifts. My sponsor used to say, "You been sober for three weeks and you are crying about getting a car...!a Caddy at that! You want a car and you don't even have a drivers license yet!" That is my big trouble. I ask God for His will for me and then set right off seeking my wants to fill my will. I cannot recall that much economic advice in the "Big Book" but it does have a lot of information on how to get sober and stay sober and enjoy a new rewarding life filled with promise. I am taken with Julia's "Hope" and Marty's, "I an not alone". Thant you all for your spiritual gifts. Pappypaw ><>
Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: 10/1/2002
Time: 11:24:24 AM
Bill P. - Alcoholic. Julia, it does get better. I have 140 days sober today, and I can relate to you looking for reassurance. The pink cloud has worn off, and now I am truly learning to face life without numbing myself with the booze. Is it tough? Yes. Is it worth it? Absolutely. My life is getting better in very small increments, and I have to keep the faith, continue to work the program, and do the best I can. It does get better. If you don't have a sponsor, get one. A sponsor can relate to where we are in early sobriety, and give us the reassurance and guidance we really do need to move forward. It has helped me loads. If you do have a sponsor, I encourage you to call them and tell them how you are feeling. Keep coming back and congrats on 90 days! Peace.
Member: Leland
Location: SBarb, CA
Date: 10/1/2002
Time: 12:44:29 PM
Tremendous way to start the day with a great topic. So many here have already hit the nail on the head: "fear of economic insecurity" will leave us, not I'll get to keep what I want or get what I want. It's all about acceptance and faith- again! How could I forget something so simple ;) Before sobriety money was like sand running through my hands. Never got into too much trouble, scrapped by here and there, but it always worked out. But for the first few years in AA, it's was another story: bill collectors, laid off a job, unemployment, no cash, back to college hence even less cash. Today, I've got a great job, some things and a little life. Sometimes I forget that all this other stuff- money, property and prestege are fleeting and just like the same sand mentioned before- the more I hold onto it the more fear I have because it just keeps slipping away. I'm not suggesting carpe diem and spend spend spend. But it has been my experience if I'm doing what has been suggested from my very first week of sobriety that the things I need will always materialize and if I stay close to my higher power, as you all have yours, that I can let go of that mortifying fear each day.
Member: Jim B.
Location: Mich.
Date: 10/1/2002
Time: 6:25:41 PM
Hi, I'm Jim, alcoholic for over 20 yrs. This is my first time checking out this site and it's awesome, so glad I found it. The topic really hits home and the comments thus far also. I just got out of jail Monday and thought I could go back to my job, a well-paying executive position. 20 minutes after I got home, my boss let me know I was being let go, despite a tremendous year. So I am now unemployed after 20 yrs. in the same business and seeking a job doing anything to keep the bills paid. But I like myself again because I have no desire for alcohol, and to me that's the first step. For 20 yrs. I have hated myself and things I said and did when smashed. I pray my wife will stay with me, she has thus far. But it is so true that material possessions don't equate to happiness and success. I look forward to new beginnings and rebuilding my marriage and my life. Money is definitely not everything!! I have always had money, but not happiness, I would prefer it the other way around. Thanx for listening and God bless you all.
Member: Barb
Location:
Date: 10/1/2002
Time: 6:26:12 PM
After 26 years of looking for answers and peace in bottle, I am so grateful to the detox center, AA, and all of you. I have nothing to add to this week's topic really - but all your messages have truly spoken to me.
Member: l.w.r
Location: Vernon BC
Date: 10/1/2002
Time: 8:48:16 PM
hello hello everyone!... "l.w.r" here..So financial fear..Yes..when i was out there drinking.. i cut corners. i cheated in bizness. i had money and yet i was still in total fear of not getting more..and did almost whatever it took to get it,... save selling sex. And i carried on this way in Sobriety for years... i understand now. that just because you put the plug in the jug.. that doesn't mean you stop playing the same tricks all at once eh?.. So whatever. i got lots a money now and a maybe a chance to actually do an "Honest days work" for and honest days pay".. and if you told me a few years ago, that one day i would be really excited about that... i would've .. well..it would be an understatement to say "i wouldn't have quite been able to understand what you were talkin about., enter the smug look on my face here.,, i have made some financial amends in sobriety..some were "here's your money cause i'm doin the steps" and not to genuine..and some were only "3 quarter" amends...which means "i owe ya 4 but here's 3..that's all your gettin..and you should be grateful...with no thanks from me about the fact that you lent it to me in the first place...So AA and sobriety works..God gives..me i gotta go get it."Honestly" and that's enough for me today.
Member: Tommy H
Location: Chicago
Date: 10/1/2002
Time: 9:12:01 PM
Tom alc' First time here Ill keep commimd backTommy H
Member: Tommy H
Location: Chicago
Date: 10/1/2002
Time: 9:13:34 PM
Tom alc' First time here Ill keep commimd backTommy H
Member: Tommy H
Location: Chicago
Date: 10/1/2002
Time: 9:13:34 PM
Tom alc' First time here Ill keep commimd backTommy H
Member: khrys k
Location: suffolk co. ny
Date: 10/1/2002
Time: 9:50:30 PM
hey my name is peanut first time i am an alcoholic and an addict opiates...still trying 2 kick i am a 33yr old mom 2 babies and a young preteen i really want sobriety....this is not my first try i will b back thanks ....peanut
Member: khrys k
Location: suffolk co. ny
Date: 10/1/2002
Time: 9:50:53 PM
hey my name is peanut first time i am an alcoholic and an addict opiates...still trying 2 kick i am a 33yr old mom 2 babies and a young preteen i really want sobriety....this is not my first try i will b back thanks ....peanut
Member: L.S.
Location: Minnesota
Date: 10/1/2002
Time: 10:05:38 PM
Hello. I'm trying to figure out if I'm alcoholic - any help?
Member: michael b.
Location: az
Date: 10/1/2002
Time: 11:18:39 PM
hi my name is michael, and i am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the grace of god and the fellowship. thabks for the sincere shares. welcome newcomers. good topic, john. i really struggle with this at times. mainly it is due to the fact that i am on ssdi or disability and i need a liver transplant. specifically, i have medicare, but this does not cover my 200 plus dollars per month in meds etc. and of course a liver transplant is very expensive. in addition its nearly impossible for me to find affordable supplemental insurance to help pay for what medicare doesn't. anyway, sometimes i can get caught up in that, but i have learned, using the tools of the program, that there is a time and a place for being concerned about this financial squeeze, and it isn't, for example, when i go to bed or at other times when i can't really do something about this sometimespreoccupation.
Member: Jeff
Location: Ne.
Date: 10/1/2002
Time: 11:28:47 PM
L.S. of MN. I was told that if you think or wonder wheather or not that you are "Alcoholic" than you probly are in the right place. Stay & read the posts & decide for yourself. Welcome! I`m Jeff an alcoholic. Economic Insecurity. Well... yes i think i still worry about money or the lack there of, i dont know if this problem of mine will ever "go away" although i don`t obsess over money problems like i used to, my higher power will provide, if i do the foot work. When i sobered up in "89" i didn`t have a home or a wife or kids to care for, just an old pick-up truck (good shape-low miles) not me of course i was broke mentally & physically, i didn`t have any thing. I lived with my parents or off them i should say. I had a dead-end job that was going no were fast. Made enuff money to drink and that was it. After some time sober i met my wife and after a short time we were married, she had two boys ages 3 & 7. Instant family ya know. This is were my money problems increased i was not ready for this, it was so bad that i was using credit cards to buy food to feed them. I would go to my sponser & whine about my woes he told me to just quit that dead-end job, load your tool box & leave. Let God do the rest & of course hit the streets & look for a better job, after two weeks i got a call from my present boss asking me to come to work for him. This taught me a valuable lesson, if you need money get a job & the most important thing is trust your higher power, he will provide. We have had some tuff times lately, had to curb our spending but all is still well. We get what we need & alittle extra sometimes. I have also learned to look for the things that money can`t buy, the love of my wife, the things that the boys give me like "thanks Dad". I never had any of these things before. Sometimes i forget how good i have it. Thanks Jeff
Member: Marvin L
Location: Laurel,Ms
Date: 10/1/2002
Time: 11:35:34 PM
Hi,Im Marv,alcoholic.SUCH a good topic,and SO MANY heartfelt shares!Was around a few weeks,heard the promises read,and WHOA! Got out my book and read pages 83,84,85 again, thinking"THIS CAN NEVER HAPPEN WITH ME!!"When they wrote them,they werent theorizing,and they HAPPENED for them,and,folks,they happened with ME,I live in the reality that my HP knows my needs,and relying on him,rather than my self-will is what our recovery program is all about.Working the steps,and keeping close to my AA family gave me a new life--now Im pushing 70,and kinda showing it,BUT,my worst day sober is better than my BEST day drunk! Hey, they tag those promises with"They will always materialize,if we work for them"! I realized,God is doing for me what I could NOT do for myself,and that being true,why waste energy worrying and being afraid!!!Congrats on your 90 days sober,Julia,its always one day at a time!!
Member: Chas
Location: Pacific NW
Date: 10/2/2002
Time: 1:28:08 AM
Hi everyone. Chas, alcoholic. L.S. - if you are wondering if you are an alcoholic, please do not just read these posts and judge against them. Read the book called "Alcoholics Anonymous" a.k.a. the Big Book. You will get a vey clear idea by reading it whether or not you are. If not, hats off to you and God Bless. If you are, I truly hope you try the solution we have found that has worked for us and countless others and begin to attend "real life" mettings. There is a new early sobriety chat here that might be of interest to you, but this is NO substitute for reading the book and attending meetings. I hope you figure it out for yourself. Chas B.
Member: Yvonne
Location: Scotland
Date: 10/2/2002
Time: 1:41:46 AM
When I was drinking I didn't have economic insecurity but used money to go on shopping binges. I would buy new things to try and make me feel good and fill that empty space inside me. But it never worked. I shopped on impulse and wasted money. Some clothes went straight into my wardrobe and were never worn...they would go to the charity shop after a while. I spent money as fast as it came in but had nothing to show for it. I would feel guilty about wasting money and running up huge credit card bills but there was always a part of me that believed my life would be better if my house looked nice, if I had the right clothes, that another holiday would fix me. I spent a long time trying to buy happiness and when I failed it gave me yet another excuse to drink. I also used money to try impress people and to buy friendships. I was always the one who would foot the bill after a meal out and prided myself on my 'generosity'. But a part of myself would rage that people were taking advantage of me and it gave me yet another excuse to drink. I used to think that having money made me more important and better than other people and get angry if they weren't as impressed with me as I was. If they couldn't respect me as a person then I should be able to buy that respect. Of course I never could but it would be all their fault so I would drink and plan elaborate revenge against those people who slighted me and made me feel small. A part of me always felt that if I had yet even more money I would be able to show them. Sobriety has taught me financial responsibility. I have a savings account now,I have paid off my debts, I try to plan for the future and I no longer throw money at my problems in the hope that it will magically solve them. The biggest thing I've learned is that happiness comes from within and can only achieved by trying to live my life in a more spiritual and less materialistic way. Economic security does make life easier but is not enough on its own. Materialism can destroy your soul if it becomes the most important part of your life. Love Yvonne
Member: Tom M.
Location: S. Fl.
Date: 10/2/2002
Time: 6:50:04 AM
Hi Tom M here gratefully recovering ( by the grace of God ) alcoholic. A note to Marvin L. thanks for the step ten reference. Always good to review those pages. God bless everyone this next 24.
Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: 10/2/2002
Time: 10:10:46 AM
Since June, I have had the prospect of a great job (and financial security) in front of me. Over the months, I have been offered the job, then had the offer withdrawn, then offered a better version of the job, then had the job pulled back again. I started this week knowing the hiring person had decided I don’t have everything they want for this new position. In the past my character defects would have buried me in resentment and indignation. I don’t do fear well, so naturally I want relief. To drink, might give me some temporary relief, but I only have to think of my last detox experience, to think again and decide I must try something else. Above all I place my reliance on God. I prayed again this morning for relief from my imagination and myself and guidance to do the will of God. I went against my own nature and went to the hiring person, pointing out my specific qualifications and I have been granted a formal interview. I have no assurances in my situation, except that if I drink it is all lost and if I don’t, I know God is with me regardless of my lack of perspective.
Member: Mike P
Location: Lax Kw'alaams, BC
Date: 10/2/2002
Time: 12:54:04 PM
I'm Mike and I'm an alcoholic. It's great to be at this meeting and hear what others feel about economic insecurity and their solutions. Keep coming back!
Member: tame dame dame
Location: die die die
Date: 10/2/2002
Time: 4:39:28 PM
Our stories disclose says the program and so it is even hear concerning economic insecurity that I tapped out my credit cards in hitting bottom; "I have the rest of my life to pay em off" I told myself and so with that I lived for today in come what may in the future; God bringeth man to destruction and says "Return ye children of men" So I suppose this was his side of it and withall I found that Man cannot both serve God and money too and I was well on my way of spirituality insomuch as to forsake this world and the say way day thereof..
Member: William.A
Location: High Point N.C.
Date: 10/2/2002
Time: 8:24:03 PM
Hello,William.A. alkie... Today fear is not so bad aas it was in the begining,I have learned to aply some steps into my life to help quiet the storm. I am not as needy as I was in the begining,I am loving it to the utmos... I must alway's rermember that before I laughted I alway's cried,thank GOD for thoses who were thier when I needed them the most,thank GOD,my sponsor wanted recovery and was willing to pass it on to me.
Member: Teri P
Location: Massachusetts
Date: 10/2/2002
Time: 9:51:48 PM
Hi I am Teri- ALcoholic- Great Topic. This is my first time on this sight and I think it is great. I read about it in an old version of a grapevine when I was at a meeting last night. So the topic. When I was using I didnt care about money or paying bills. I pd what I needed to pay aka rent utilities. The rest went to alcohol and drugs. I maxed out over 26 credit cars and had two cars repossessed and I was only 23!!! I had to claim bankrupcy 6 months into my sobriety. I had economic insecurity for a long time. BUt once I really started working the program it went away. I obtained my first credit card last year and have used it wisly to build my credit. Two months ago I bought a brand new truck and the best part was it is fully in my name. Sobriety gave me that. I still worry about finances but I turn it over to God. I currently work for a large insurance company that on Friday decided that to shut down have the company because we got killed in the stock market over the past year. I may lose my job. I went though this last year when we had layoffs and I was stressed out but I wasnt activily practicing the 12 steps. I was sober but not going to regular meetings. THis time around I am calm about it. I turned it over last night and whatever happens happens. i will deal with not having a job if that happens and how I will support myself. But god has a plan and I truley believe my HP is watching out for me. I dont have financial insecurity for the most part anymore and that feels great. Keep COming it gets better!!!!
Member: Eric R
Location: C.Florida
Date: 10/2/2002
Time: 10:03:38 PM
Hi every one problem drinker here, just trying to stay sober one day at a time. Love reading your stories,keeps me touch with myself and reminds me that I have a problem with drinking alcohol.
Member: Chuck C.
Location: Hauser,Idaho
Date: 10/3/2002
Time: 12:41:22 AM
Hello All!I'm Chuck an alcoholic.Good topic enjoyed your comments.It's been a while since I read the stories about Bill and Dr.Bob.If memory serves me well Lois was still mending Bills suits and sportsjacket many years after he cofounded AA.Dr Bob finally had the car of his dreams a year or two before he died.Granted they did not have to worry about childrens tuitions for college,or shoes and clothes for them.Yet they still wrote that fear of economic insecurity will leave us.Basically I believe that being of service in AA and working with others even though it may not pay the bills,it puts life in perspective of whats really importan,at least for me.When asked how i am doing? I can say I Never Had It so good! :-)
Member: Tami H.
Location: Washington State
Date: 10/3/2002
Time: 2:08:26 AM
Dear Alcohol, I have been wracking my brain trying to find a way to let you down easy but the fact remains, I don’t need you anymore. My effort to try and stay in a “working relationship” with you, was just a way of fooling myself. I need more from life now, and having you by my side is not only a waste of my time but really a waste of energy. The dysfunction we shared is really more than I can bare. We need to part for good, and I don’t really have any interest in remaining friends either, so please don’t attempt to persuade me into “going for a drink” now and then because I know where that one drink will lead and that place is someplace I don’t wish to go. All of the things that we did together in the beginning were really a lot of fun, or so I thought. When I woke in the morning after a night with you I was still feeling the intoxicating effect of you. I was not only obsessed, I was addicted to you and how you “made me feel.” Your effect on me had me believing I was funny, beautiful and charming with you, but after a few dances with you I was a mess. I just didn’t know it then. Our relationship went from bad to worse without my even seeing it. You comforted me when I was down, I let you, because I was weak and I didn’t know who else to turn to. You were always there for me when I needed you; You cared for me when I thought no one else did. When I didn’t love myself, you loved me. Alone, tired, hungry, anxious, resentful or even the good times, you were right by my side for every event. But now I want you to go. The way we are together is toxic. I can’t communicate with you around, I can’t control my life. In fact, I never had a life with you by my side. You ate at me, you pushed me to make poor decisions and take chances that were dangerous. You never cared about my well being! I can take responsibility for my part in all of the embarrassing and risky situations we have put ourselves through, but you won’t. You want it to be like it was in the beginning and that can never be, not ever again. I was thinking about you allot last weekend. I got upset and you popped into my head. I was so afraid that I might call on you. I knew that if I didn’t call a friend or if I left my motel room, I would go looking for you. And you would invite me back and embrace me as you did before. I knew I would regret coming into contact with you would be not only a huge mistake on my part, but it would effect my whole future. You have become dangerous to me and I don’t need that abuse! I know that if we are together even for a moment it could mean that together we would be consumed, and that could kill me. I won’t die for our kind of love, and that’s what will happen. If this means we don’t see each other again, so be it. I won’t accept an apology from you, I know that you don’t mean it. All of the times you came back to me and convinced me that I “needed you” were foolish attempts to control me, as I tried to control you. We have to agree, we shared a sick relationship and we can’t control each other. Please know this; I have found a new love. And this relationship is so rewarding in so many ways. My new love has taught me to respect myself, love myself and know that I am funny, charming and beautiful without you. People like me for me, not because I am with you. Those who shun me for deserting you are not my true friends and I am grateful they won’t be in my life long if they still are, or that they will change their minds if they haven’t already. I have found a love that respects me and shares my hopes and dreams, encourages me to be me and love me for who I am. My new love gives me the strength to overcome even the obstacles you have set in my way. Though I know you are a part of my history, you can’t be a part of my future. We can’t part on good terms or remain in contact with one another. Don’t call on me or come by, I won’t answer. Tami
Member: Julie H.
Location: Kansas
Date: 10/3/2002
Time: 7:56:16 AM
The program of AA has most definitely relieved my fear of economic insecurity. Through practicing the 12 steps and relying on my Higher Power, I have found that I really don't need much. And my Higher Power provides exactly what I need when I need it if I stay in contact with Him. I no longer measure my successes in life by how much STUFF I have, and therefore find that I no longer really want much and I am so very grateful for what I have. I consolidated the debt I racked up while drinking and paid it off in half the time I was allowed. I am grateful that I avoided bankruptcy, and my credit is miraculously intact. And, since I no longer spend money on drinking and my desire for material possesions has waned, I've actually been able to save money, which I'd never been able to do when I was drinking. Though I realize that economic insecurity could happen to me at any time, I no longer fear it. I know that my Higher Power will give me just what I need just when I need it. Thanks, John O'L, for a great topic!
Member: Kathy D
Location: AM, OH
Date: 10/3/2002
Time: 9:30:19 AM
Hi! I am Kathy and I am an alcoholic. To L S: There also is a pamplet called Is AA for Me? that you can pick up at a meeting. Answer the questions honestly and you will have your answer.
Member: Chris H.
Location: K
Date: 10/3/2002
Time: 3:56:21 PM
Hi, I'm Chris, an alcoholic. This is only my second day of being sober this time but I wanted to say that this topic has been very interesting to me. Economic security has always been a sticky thing for me. I now live on a small farm with less money than I used to have and I let that push me to drink my fear about it away. From now on, I'm going to believe that my HP will provide just what I need. Thanks for this wonderful place. I don't have f2f meetings available. This is great.
Member: Teri M
Location: Canton Ohio
Date: 10/3/2002
Time: 6:12:50 PM
Hi! My name is Teri and I am an Alcoholic and Addict. Fear of Economic Insecurity--Hmm... Well I have to say that when I was drinking and using I never even cared about such things as long as I had my drink and drug of choice. But now that I am on the road of recovery this is an issue that I now face. I have to be able to maintain my sobriety as well as employment in order to survive. But the best advice that I can give myself and others is to pray--to you higher power--and have good associations who are AA's and try to stay on that straight narrow path and as long as you do that you should have nothing to fear.
Member: pbs
Location:
Date: 10/3/2002
Time: 8:08:00 PM
Fear of financial insecurity left me when I was 11 yrs. sober and I learned my first husband had a really friendly bookie and a girlfriend who both required financial security from him. Financial security was gone for me! I was in shock for about 2 minutes when I realized I could take care of myself financially. I never ever lived beyond my means, still don't. I'm retired today, happily remarried to the gift of my life, collecting a nice pension I WORKED for. In AA I was taught to "practice these principles in all our affairs", and for me, that includes financial affairs. For all, have the best 24 hours ever!
Member: marty g
Location: williamsburg ohio
Date: 10/4/2002
Time: 10:03:54 AM
craig L.my name is marty.and right at this time i am with out a job,to me i got a little over twelve years in AA. i feel to drink again is no cure and i would loose all god blessing if i did so i been laid off sence aug 9. i been out there trying with no luck.a parts place offer a part time job but i need full time i know that god would not brough me this far to drop me now.so craig just trust in god and every thing will be find PS i think he test us once in while to see how we handle life.ill put you in my prayer craig take care and god bless.rember its one day at a time.and thank god for that
Member: Cec H
Location:
Date: 10/5/2002
Time: 12:51:56 AM
Cec H alkie here, I have no fear of economic insecurity, because I am broke always was always will be. So how can you fear a sertanty.LOL. Like I said I aint rich but theres food on the table close on our backs. Live is Good to day
Member: marty g
Location: williamsburg ohio
Date: 10/5/2002
Time: 2:37:45 AM
my friends my name is marty,i started talk to this women.i first met her on aol chatt room.she is likea drug to me,i been talking to her for over a year.yes i am maried my wife does not like it,would one of you tell me how you have broke away from a person like that.and would you all pray for me to be able to stop talking to her,i dont know where else to turn to but my friends Alcoholics Anonymous.i thank you for any thing you can tell me
Member: AnilG
Location: MtVernon,IL
Date: 10/5/2002
Time: 8:16:58 AM
iam alcoholic and an addict. I have been sober for almost 5yrs now but unemployed all these yrs when i was about to go back to work my wife divorced me that made things worse that I could not go back to work. but somehow i managed to remain sober and now I can focus very clearly on my recovery ?job and future I have more energy and I can work harder then ever further more I will not to make mistakes in my life sobriety/recovery is on the top of my agenda always. rest of the things will fall in place including financial insecurity thanks to aa and alanon.
Member: donna g
Location: florida
Date: 10/5/2002
Time: 11:28:58 AM
hi family, donna from west palm beach here. i dont know how my higher power got me to put money in its proper place in my life, but he did. i have what i need each day. medicine is a pain in the neck to pay for but asking for generics works most of the time.i am 61years old, 20 years sober this november, donnawpb@yahoo.com
Member: Paul W
Location: Michigan
Date: 10/5/2002
Time: 12:29:50 PM
First time at this site, It's great! I'm just reaching the end of alot of years of complacent sobriety. (with many dry spots!) I know now I need to get back to the steps again. Ecomonic Insecurities..Excellent topic! I remember reading an account in the bible,(to me "the other big book") when the Isrealites were hungry in the wilderness..God told them not to worry, he would feed them everyday, so he sent down Manna (bread) from heaven every morning.. they tried saving it for future, but it rotted,...but they showed lack of faith. I read an article the other day, it said; the fact that you are reading this, indicates, that you have access to a computer and are therefore part of only 6% of the worlds entire population. On the avg Americans spend more on garbage bags the 60 out of the 210 worlds countries do on 1 years household income. Got me to thinking.. I only feel poor because I'm spiritually bankrupt Thank you all for sharing.
Member: seth d
Location: north dakota
Date: 10/5/2002
Time: 3:48:33 PM
Hi my name is seth and I am an alcoholic. my problem is in my entire family except my older brother who dosent ever drink. The reason that i am here is because i think that i have a problem that needs to be solved. I havent had any thing to drink since August 4 2002. I think I am doing very well. I also am going to a drinking class every sunday. Those are very helpfull and are the reason that I havent been drinking and trying to stay sobber.
Member: Tami R.
Location: NH
Date: 10/5/2002
Time: 9:08:03 PM
Seth- You are lucky that you are getting help and that you are sticking to it. COngratulations, don't give up! Tami R.
Member: Gabrielle P
Location: Arlington TX
Date: 10/6/2002
Time: 1:06:38 AM
Gabrielle grateful recovering alcoholic here. I don't always post in here but this is a darn good Topic. (((KIM))) you are speaking to my heart. The answer for me today for "seeing" this promise come true in my life, is being able to accept what I need and not necessarily what I want. I just had an emergency apendectomy, I got the bill today, normaly not a big deal except that I was laid off from a job I had for 5 years last December, My son was laid off from his job in Nov prior to that, I had knee surgery in January of this year, my 401 K was cashed in many months ago, my son is still unemployed and I work for a temp service, to keep my car I gave up my cobra insurance, hence the bill in the mail today.....I am not concerned....my Higher Power whom I choose to call God will see me through somehow, He always has, since I was born, I cannot imagine that He would leave me now, if fact I am getting ready to move halfway across country with the help of this fellowship and my father (birth) to start a new life. Am I afraid? No I know it will be okay. When I was in the emergency room I told my dad to leave because it was dark and he only has vision in one eye. I knew he didn't want to so I convinced him they probably wouldn't do the surgery until morning.....when I got into the OR the surgeon asked if I was alone, I answered without hesitation, no God is here can't you feel Him? He said I meant family, and I again said said the only family that is really necessary to be here for me is here....they called my father afterward...but my point is...if my faith is where it belongs...I never have worry again about anything....no matter what life is offering as a way of a growth opportunity....so stick to what is in front of you....trust your Higher Power and clean house, don't drink and no matter what don't ever forget..... I cannot fail until I stop trying, In Sobriety, In AA, In Life, Gabrielle
Member: marty g
Location: williamsburg ohio
Date: 10/6/2002
Time: 1:58:29 AM
i thank you all you have help me.i have been laid off to.i tell you i have seen with my own eyes,that it is only thing i need to rember that if i get down on my nees and review my day. and pray to god for that person, that i can help and allso pray for the ones that are still out there.you know with out you people and god, i would not be here
Member: anonymous alcoholic (DOS 12/12/90)
Location: 2689 Ridgecrest Drive
Date: 10/6/2002
Time: 8:03:09 AM
Thank you for this topic. I don't recall ever having had this topic at meetings before and it is so important for me. As a child of an alcoholic I started controlling my money when I was 14. I thought, this whole house may be chaotic but at least each week I can write down how much money I made (odd jobs, allowance etc) and how much money I spent. And what the bottom line is for the week. Well, don't you know, that became a kind of obsession with me. I suppose as a kid I relized I had no control over these alcoholic parents. But, I needed to feel some kind of control in my life, so I tried to control money. That resulted in trying to control my finances all thru my life. And a tremendous fear of economic insecurity. Because, in my mind, if my economic house comes tumbling down then I have to face the reality of my real life coming tumbling down. Hope this makes sense to you. Thanks.