Member: Mike
Location: Canada
Date: 9/25/00
Time: 12:43:04 AM

Comments

Mike here, an alcoholic.

Well, I'm the first one here I see. Well I went to a FTF meeting tonight and the topic was about honesty. It was also a chip meeting, and when the chip was passed around I saw that it said, "To thine own self be true," and I remembered a post from last week that said the one I have to face each day is the one that looks me back in the eyes from the mirror each day. This whole thing has had me re-evaluate my life. So, unless someone has a better topic, let's go for it eh!


Member: ms
Location: the real world
Date: 9/25/00
Time: 1:40:30 AM

Comments

being true to thine own pitiful red eyes staring back at me from the looking glass,ahh yes those were the days i was living in hell on earth.the party all night long syndrome until the sun came up,then id crash for a bit,crack open another and do it all over again,lay out a rail on the looking glass and take me a blast from the past.turn a day into a week,a week into amonth,a month into a year,then a year into years.......now ive been clean for eight months and still feel like a burnt out piece-o-s*** dry drunk.so whats up with that anywho?????

misserably sober


Member: jesse m
Location: for dallas tx
Date: 9/25/00
Time: 3:43:02 AM

Comments

ms i still feel this way from time to time till i read my journal and remember how it truly was and how it really is as compared to then and now and i know how truly grateful i am try to journal on a daily basis so you can also see how much has changed and how things sometimes we see as unchanged really are we just seem to take for granted and talk to him whether you believe or not


Member: Jim.L
Location: Portsmouth.U.K.
Date: 9/25/00
Time: 9:35:07 AM

Comments

Hi!I'm Jim I'm an Alcoholic. I read a daily meditation recently that said, don't do anything that you couldn't discuss with another person. That to me pointed out that some of my actions could be secretive or even dishonest. Now each time I think of doing something, maybe a bit naughty, I stop and think "Could I discuss this with another person?" It keeps honesty at the forefront and like they say "You are only as sick as your secrets!" Keep it Simple and in the day. LoL.Jim.X


Member: Rick L.
Location: Walton, Ky.
Date: 9/25/00
Time: 10:55:43 AM

Comments

Rick L. Alocholic here. Good topic Mike. Binging true to ones self isn't easy when you don't know who you really are. In my drinking days I would try to fit in with the people that I was drinking with. That could change from bar to bar. My first couple of years in AA was filled with alot of big changes as I discovered what I really liked and didn't like. I remember having alot of what I thought was crazy thoughts and ideas that I was ashamed of and wouldn't share with anyone because I thought I was the only one with those thoughts. Sooner or later I would hear someone at a meeting talk about those same things and laugh about it. I guess that I always wanted to be normal but just didn't know what normal was! The good news is that as long as you stay clean and sober you can be who you want to be. Self discovery, changing ones life, getting SOBER is a process not an event. Relax and take it one day at a time.


Member: Ken G
Location: Mt
Date: 9/25/00
Time: 11:49:01 AM

Comments

I have been sober for 8 days and last week i took the week off from work so I could go to AA and start a fresh sober life. Today I came back to work and a worker from another department came in and started to laugh at me and i asked her what was wrong and she said she came to tease me. I fiqured it was about my last dunk which i hardley remember. I felt ashamed and guilty but told her go back to her job its not none of your business. I fiqure this to shall pass but it was what i had expeceted today. I need to go to a meeting tonight and hope today gets better. I am sober today and its cool.


Member: Pam P.
Location: Connecticut
Date: 9/25/00
Time: 12:51:13 PM

Comments

Before I could be 'true to myself' - I first had to figure out WHO 'myself' was!! 18 yrs later I find I still discover things about myself all the time. IF I'm paying attention that is! Sometimes the universe TRIES to teach me things, but I am NOT paying attention. That's ok, I'll get it later. I am still not sure what being true to myself means in terms of work. FOR ME, I need to find that balance, of who the real me is, what "I" want/need and what my HP wants me to be doing. I really do try to let HP be in charge, but, I think sometimes I just 'don't get the message', if you know what I mean.

Hope this makes sense to someone! Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Pam P.
Location: Connecticut
Date: 9/25/00
Time: 12:51:28 PM

Comments

Before I could be 'true to myself' - I first had to figure out WHO 'myself' was!! 18 yrs later I find I still discover things about myself all the time. IF I'm paying attention that is! Sometimes the universe TRIES to teach me things, but I am NOT paying attention. That's ok, I'll get it later. I am still not sure what being true to myself means in terms of work. FOR ME, I need to find that balance, of who the real me is, what "I" want/need and what my HP wants me to be doing. I really do try to let HP be in charge, but, I think sometimes I just 'don't get the message', if you know what I mean.

Hope this makes sense to someone! Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Dayne W.
Location:
Date: 9/25/00
Time: 1:00:52 PM

Comments

Selfishness, self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.

So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kill us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God's help.

This is the how and the why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children. Most Good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom.

When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed. We had a new Employer. Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well.

Im Dayne and I am an alcoholic. I believe the solution to my problems is in the steps. I believe the steps are the path to a solution that works. Its been my experience as the BB says the main problem of the alcoholic centers in the mind. It is also my experiece that drinking was just a symptom of my real problem and I needed to understand this fact completely. My mind is what percieves reality. If my mind is one of total self centeredness and self will then I will have fear, self pity and resentment to horid proportions. Eventually I believe as the BB says this will kill me if a solution is not found. I believe the steps are the path to finding that solution - freedom from self. I had to find freedom from myself - self centeredness or die or go insane. I was enslaved by myself. I had to see that self will was killing me - trying to get what I wanted at all cost to myself and others was killing me. There is alot more for me to being an alcoholic than just someone who can't drink without the phenomenon of craving occuring but this is all I cared to hear for a long time. If the only thing an alcoholic had to do to stay sober and live happy was to not drink we would only have the first step. I tried to only treat my drunkeness by just not drinking and going to meetings but stayed miserable and kept getting drunk. It wasn't until I got willing to take and honest look at myself and work the rest of the steps that I got any piece and true sobriety. This is my opinion but if you ever hear someone in a meeting say just don't drink and go to meetings it will get better stay the hell away from them. I believe this to be completely contrary to what the BB says about an alcoholics malady and solution. I remember meetings from back in the 80's where they would say "work the steps or die" to me thats the short form of what the BB tells me about my alcoholic condition. Sorry to take up so much space here but I feel very passionate about this. I believe that my life depends on it. From a guy who loves drunks......Dayne W.


Member: Joseph O
Location: Israel
Date: 9/25/00
Time: 2:05:32 PM

Comments

Honesty! The first and foremost principle of ((HOW)) to stay away from substance use and abuse. At least that's the way I found it to be for me! But I not only had to get honest about the fact that these substances I was hooked to were keeping me in enslaved to an irrational mode of living that was going nowhere, but I found in time that I had to get completely honest with the 12 steps that I was learning about, and which were finding their ways to me, and everything involved with them! I had to first get honest that my addictive ways were destroying me; I had to get honest about the insanity that was attached to all that lifestyle; and I had to get honest about my understanding of God, whom I really knew nothing about, in spite of all the distorted teaching I had all my life! I knew nothing at all about how God truly works with people to fulfill His designs for what ((He wants)), not what some low-life dishonest jerk in a pulpit or on a political-religious soapbox wants!! The more I looked at, and sought to fulfill the third and eleventh steps for me, the more I learned, the more I understood, the more I kept searching, and the more I learned that you can never know enough! And you know what I found happening to me? All that garbage that the false-prophets of this world were throwing around started to settle under my feet, and I was and am walking all over it!! And if you want what I have, and are willing to go to any lengths to get it, then it is there for your taking also!! I'm sure that if both Bill W and Dr Bob could see what I have done with this AA program of mine, they would be glorying over seeing such a thing arising out of their work!!


Member: Kim D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: 9/25/00
Time: 2:18:17 PM

Comments

Dayne W... so good to hear you. Thank you.

Drinking and drugging ceased to be the problem for me 13 months ago. The problem today is Kim and what I am hoping against all hope is that the solution is in the twelve steps. I'm into week 3 of a women's AWOL (an intense step study that runs for about 7 months) and I believe I have the honesty, open-mindedness and the willingness to change the person I brought into the halls. I have to... or I'll pick up again like so many times before or I'll go crazy. Bottom Line.

I practice honesty in my life today to the best of my ability. Honesty, for this recovering alcoholic, is essential to sobriety and contented living (serenity). The golden rule I use when dealing with others is "would I want this done to or said about me? Would I want to be treated this way? Second, to "thine own self be true" means to be as honest and fearless in my dealings with myself... to uncover self-centeredness and all the other ugly things that are my underlying symptoms of my alcoholism... so that I can live in my own skin today. It does not mean (for me, at least) that I take care of myself and forget everyone else in my life. Just the opposite. I must be honest enough with myself so that I can live in my own skin and not hurt another human being like I did selfishly for so many years drinking.

That's all I have to say for now. Thanks for letting me share.

Peace.


Member: aw
Location:
Date: 9/25/00
Time: 2:36:13 PM

Comments

Hi my name is AW and I am and Alcoholic. Don't give up before the miracle; what miracle ? I said when I first heard that, a few twenty four hours ago ; and now I know is the miracle of a new sober life which I never imagine ; How ? Being Honest with myself , believing in a Higher Power, reading the Big Book, going to meetings, asking people; Believe me it is worth it and would not change my life today for my best drunk ever; It is not easy, but worth it. Keep coming back.


Member: Jeff  T.
Location: wv
Date: 9/25/00
Time: 3:04:02 PM

Comments

hi im jeff alcoholic To thine own self be true to me means letting god do for me what i can not do for myself. WE are not doormats to any body any more. The steps have truly changed my life in a way i can not explane. I have been sober now for 3 years and i am just scatching the suface of who i am. I let god show me what i am sopose to be. As longe as i apply the steps to my everyday life i am beeing true to myself.


Member: Toni R
Location: Swansea, Wales
Date: 9/25/00
Time: 3:27:07 PM

Comments

Thanks Mike

Rather interesting subject. I'm Toni, an alcoholic and relatively new to all this. Being honest with oneself is so difficult. I cannot ever remember being honest about my feelings. Beginning the 12 Steps has been a real eye opener for me. I have recenlty admitted to my two daughters that I have a problem. I felt I owed it to them both. Maybe now I can begin to tell myself honestly that I am suffering with an incurable illness and that I will get better. More importantly maybe I will start opening up to my counsellor and sponsor about how I truly feel. But one day at a time I think. Thanks for letting me share for the first time ever with you all.

Regards


Member: Catherine Brown
Location: Blue Lake, CA
Date: 9/25/00
Time: 3:39:20 PM

Comments

When I got sober, the immediate changes in my life were so tremendous that it was easy to experience them. Now, a little over 7 years later (I don't believe in anonymity of time among other alcoholics. I'll also tell any alcoholic my full name and my sponser's name too. Dr. Bob said we are to practice anonymity at the public level, not among ourselves. Anyway, enough of that soap box rant.) I find that it's easy to get stuck, and I've got to really be aware of working the steps to have a vital, living program that keeps me growing. What does this have to do with honesty? Here's what I'm dealing with today. Old ideas. "We tried to hold onto our old ideas, and the result was nil until we let go absolutely." Not just old ideas from when I was drinking, but "new" old ideas, things that were true and worked once that have become part of my mythology of sobriety. What kept me sober yesterday will not keep me sober today. And so I find I have to be willing to look at all my bright ideas and best thinking and be honest enough to see what comes from God's will for me and what comes from my enormous self-centered self will. It's not fun and it's not pretty, but boy is it worth it. I love being sober, and I love alcoholics. I love being an alcoholic and being given, through grace, this tremendous adventure of spiritual discovery. Thanks to the grace of God and the POWER of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.


Member: alan g
Location: england
Date: 9/25/00
Time: 5:12:12 PM

Comments

hi i'm alan an alcoholic,haven't been dry all that long but wanting to get there.there's been days that i ain't been capable of looking in that mirror because i was so drunk.i could fool myself for short while that i hadn't got a problem.but it didn't last long staggering around the local pubs the veritable village idiot spending money i hadn't got upsetting the family that cared about me through my own drunken antics.the hangers on that convince you your just one of the lads having a laugh swilling down another 10 pints of lager.you can see your life flushing away at the bottom of that glass sucking the life the personality out of you like water down a sink.you make a descision a move towards some change.who knows i'd like to look in that mirror and not see old red eyes.


Member: april k
Location: texas
Date: 9/25/00
Time: 6:27:59 PM

Comments

I'm 22 and have been sober only 147 days. I can relate to what Catherine Brown said about feeling stuck. The first 2 months of my sobriety not only did everything in my life change drastically but I had expected it to. Already at 5 months I often feel like I am not moving forwards. It is difficult for me to be completely honest with myself especially when I have no idea who I am. I began drinking at such an early age that I don't even know my own likes/dislikes. But I do know that as long as I am sober, willing and open-minded, one day at a time I can learn.


Member: Cheryl
Location: California,KY
Date: 9/25/00
Time: 8:06:24 PM

Comments

To thyne self be true........Thanks Mike for the topic. This is where we start on our treaturous journey into ourselves. Thorough and rigerous honesty--taking inventory!!!!! This part really scared me at first. But once I got started, I was almost excited to get to know those scary parts about Cheryl the addict/alcoholic. Mostly because I had done my homework--read that BIG book and was ready to have what all those in those metting rooms HAD. I learned that getting rid of all that shit was going to make my life better. And so it did. The Book says though, that more will be revealed. And so it does! I learn new stuff about myself every day and I continue to take personal inventory because being honest with myself makes it so much easier to be honest with EVERYBODY else. I just want to say that if you can be honest with YOU AND GOD you can stroll through recovery with no FEAR! And that's a good feeling! I am Cheryl and I am an addict! Love to all, God Bless!

Hi Kim!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Member: Phil H
Location: New Hampshire
Date: 9/25/00
Time: 8:07:44 PM

Comments

Hey everyone Im Phil and an alcoholic. It good to be alive and its good to be sober today. You know...I drank for better than 20 years just so I would"nt have to face myself, ingested stuff that would make my head shut-up. I isolated, ran away and dropped out of life. Booze and dope helped me get to where I wanted to be...alone. I am here to tell you that that is not the way my life is now. I have a nice family, a good job and a bunch of friends. I have to inform you that it took longer than 8 days for that to happen. The way I figure it, it took better than twenty years of hard work to become the lying, drunk that I became. Why should recovery be different? These things take time, if honesty bothers you than practice these principals in all your affairs. The key word is PRACTICE. I had days that I felt like somekind of AA action figure, honest to a fault, and a spiritual superstar. Then I have had other days where when put into a corner I lied, and I beat myself up so badly that it was difficult to recognise myself. Allow your self to be human and make a mistake every so often, trust me that this stuff doesnt happen overnight or without help. The important thing is to remember DONT DRINK, and KEEP TRYING and I promise you if you work as hard at honesty as you did at drinking, you will become more honest. Thanks for letting me share and remember that we need you.

Phil.........


Member: Chris T.
Location: Charlotte NC
Date: 9/25/00
Time: 9:12:13 PM

Comments

Chris, alcoholic. I believe the real honesty associated with the program comes with believing yourself when taking the first step. If one truly believes that statement about himself, the motiviation to "go to any lengths" becomes part of his existence. The honest admission of powerlessness is indeed what starts us on the path to recovery. The "fake it 'till you make it" concept works well from 2-12. You can't fake #1. Thanks for being here.


Member: Chris C.
Location: Maryland
Date: 9/25/00
Time: 9:32:23 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Chris C., powerless over alcohol and drugs. I really needed a meeting tonight and had a feeling I'd find a good topic here.

I'm dealing in my life with an issue of honesty on the job right now. I've been accused (falsely) of something terrible -- acting in a "racist" way. I am having to defend myself against this awful charge, and if I weren't sober I'm sure I'd be tempted to do or say something dishonest. The fact is that I have stuck strictly with the truth, and I believe everything will work out OK and justice will prevail. I do not feel shaky about my sobriety over this, but I am having some pretty strong emotions well up. I'd appreciate some prayers and wishes for a good outcome here. Thanks.


Member: kevin  p.
Location: nyc.
Date: 9/25/00
Time: 11:13:52 PM

Comments

hi kevin p alcoholic. to thin own self be true. just have to rember the last time i went out is this something iwant to do again. i think not . the promises are coming true but very slowly. but thats ok.it`s great to have avery good suportgroup always aroud to talk too. thanks


Member: Rick
Location: Texas
Date: 9/25/00
Time: 11:50:50 PM

Comments

Hello to everyone, great topic. I've really learned from reading your comments. Dayne, you especially made some points crystal clear to me.

We are discussing self-honesty. My name is Rick, and I'm an alcoholic. This is a truth that I still resent and despise, but will not hide or run from any longer.

Like some of you who have written, I think I will forever be discovering the truth about myself. The thing that concerns me the most is that I have an incredible nack for self-deception. This has caused me to doubt my own ability to discern or act upon the truth and what is right.

At this point, it seems wiser for me to trust in my higher power - God. The more I learn about His truth, the more I can compare my perception of the truth.

Like a good carpenter, He gives me a ruler and a level to measure my thoughts, actions and attitudes next to.

Thanks again to all of you.


Member: john h
Location: abbotsford
Date: 9/26/00
Time: 12:17:28 AM

Comments

talk with like minded people and people who are not like minded on a daily basis. read as much as i can pertaining to subjects that will open my awareness to other things. i trust in my god and above all when being true to myself ,i take into consideration others who are involved in my life through no fault of their own and on lots off occasions i am able to convince myself that in a day, week or sometime down the road that i will be true to myself pertaining to an issue that is "bothering me"


Member: Jack B.
Location: Palo Alto, Pa.
Date: 9/26/00
Time: 2:40:30 AM

Comments

Hi I am Jack a real alcoholic.To thy ownself be true is a great topic.Easier said than done, who wants to focus on yourself when focusing on others is so much easier.An old proverb states that when I am looking at the faults of others,I am gaining a better insight into myself.Step 10 contains one of the strongest words in the twelve steps, the very first word of the step,CONTINUED.We keep the focus on ourselves as best we can and let others live and let live. If I look at the person I absolutely want to be, I haven't done anything, but if I look at the person I am becoming, and the keyword is becoming, on a daily basis, something has happened, something that I can take absolutely no credit for.The fellowship of AA and God's amazing grace is doing for me what I cannot do for myself in all my affairs.For the most part I approve of the way I live today and that is truly a miracle from where I came from. When I stopped creating God in my image, life became a lot more enjoyable for me and for those around me.Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless all on our journey in peace and serenity.


Member: Angela P.
Location: Payson, Arizona
Date: 9/26/00
Time: 3:14:24 AM

Comments

Hi,my name is Angela&I'm an alcoholic. One of the things that works for me to be true to myself is checking my motives, pg.70 BB It's really helpful in being honest with me & you. When my motives are wrong it usually has to do with fear. Fear I've learned usually is being afraid of losing something I've got, or not getting enough of something that I want. To you with 8 days WOW Keep Coming Back To miserably sober, don't leave 5 min. before the miracle. How To Handle Sobriety pgs.559-561 Thanx for letting me share Angela


Member: ANNIE A
Location: PA
Date: 9/26/00
Time: 9:04:52 AM

Comments

FIRST TIME HERE NEED TO STOP DRINGING. HOW CAN I .


Member: Bert.K.
Location: Victoria  Australia.
Date: 9/26/00
Time: 9:33:46 AM

Comments

Hi Bert here from down under Australia and alkie. Annie pick up your phone book look for A.A (Alcoholics anonymous) Ring that number and do word for word what they suggest and save your life. Believe me it will only get worse and not better unless you let A.A. into your life.Keep an open mind take what is good for you and leave what is too hard for now you will get back to that later. Take Care Annie and do it. Bert.K.


Member: Danielle B.
Location: Vermont
Date: 9/26/00
Time: 10:30:19 AM

Comments

I have the desire to stop drinking. I am new and i would like some advice.


Member: nancy p.
Location: virginia
Date: 9/26/00
Time: 12:08:25 PM

Comments

well danielle, i'm glad you made it!!!you have been blessed take take a wonderful journey to meet unconditional love. go to meetings. get a sponser(i asked God to send me one He did).ask him to keep you sober for just today and thank him every night.you will be true to yourself in doing that. i have a few 24 and i'm amazed. there is still alot of changes i need to make within myself but i let God do the work. i really needed a meeting and this is the first time online for me. I'm grateful that you guys are here. to thine own self be true is a wonderful topic. I have big changes coming and deisions to be made. i'm having a frustrating time making one. "I" want to make one for the better but fear is standing in the way. I've asked God to remove my fear so I can see clearlywhat He wants me to do.Being true to myself is living God's will. Fear destoys us alcoholics. As my sponsers says "you'll learn"


Member: Bob S.
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Date: 9/26/00
Time: 12:16:48 PM

Comments

Hi brothers and sisters, I'm Bob and I'm an alcoholic. Newcomers, the fact that your on this site asking for help is the second step in your recovery. The first was noticing you had this problem and recognizing you need help...then you took action and came in here. Good work. Recovery is simple, not necessarily easy, but asking for help is a big beginning. Get to AA in your area, get a sponsor who can help guide you through the steps and help you deal with your early doubts about staying sober. Find a home group. It takes a long time to stabilize and get your brain and body out of hock and patience is not one of our virtues. It's pretty average to want to get 'better' now for most of us with this disease. Getting around other alcoholics makes me feel not so alone in the world and like there is a place for me. Also, whatever your spiritual beliefs, ("just do it"), pray for help, your prayers will be answered. I think it is the single most important part of my recovery. I can't always rely on people, but can always rely on my relationship with God as I understand him/it/her, whatever. You can act your way into right thinking but can't think your way into right acting. At like a recovering alcoholic and you will become one. Do what recovering alcoholics do and things will work out, but probably not on your time schedule. Mike, good topic...'to thine own self', etc.. When I was drinking I was so numb all the time I had no access to how I felt about ordinary things in my life. I was creating abnormal things and feeling miserable all the time when I wasn't numb with alcohol. I stopped drinking and slowly began to have access to lhow I felt about the ordinary things in my life. My feelings began to define who I was. I finally started noticing what I thought about things and how I felt about things..that is who I became. How I am doing emotionally, moment to moment, gives me definition. It doesn't mean I have to act out my thoughts and feelings, that would be crazy sometimes. It just means I've become informed about me, and that's who I am. AA has given me access to me. I can get outside that by volunteering my time, and other resources to get away from the "I don't think very much of myself, but I'm all I think about" syndrome. By the grace of God and the fellowship of AA (you) I am no longer (today) a slave to alcohol, rather a servant, just a 'passenger on the bus'. It's working. Thanks for this space for me to share. Love to you all, Bob.


Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 9/26/00
Time: 12:44:32 PM

Comments

one truth i know about myself is,i can't have another drink of alcohol,if i do it will lead to another outing and another...we as people are all ignorant but just with differant things.when i except help i'm being honest i'm really saying...i don't know show me.i don't find anything wrong with that.i wouldn't want a personnal gain at the expence of some other poor soul.sometimes i think i'm more than i really am,i'm not.to remain humble and helpfull is all i should really do.for me this is being true to my own self.... if your new, meetings make things more clear,please don't go the route alone,you have to try at it.it's so worth it i am finally enjoying life,with it's up's and down's.i'm tony an alcoholic


Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 9/26/00
Time: 12:46:17 PM

Comments

one truth i know about myself is,i can't have another drink of alcohol,if i do it will lead to another outing and another...we as people are all ignorant but just with differant things.when i except help i'm being honest i'm really saying...i don't know show me.i don't find anything wrong with that.i wouldn't want a personnal gain at the expence of some other poor soul.sometimes i think i'm more than i really am,i'm not.to remain humble and helpfull is all i should really do.for me this is being true to my own self.... if your new, meetings make things more clear,please don't go the route alone,you have to try at it.it's so worth it i am finally enjoying life,with it's up's and down's.i'm tony an alcoholic


Member: Cat A
Location: Purgatory
Date: 9/26/00
Time: 1:48:52 PM

Comments

Hey, I am Cat and I am an alcoholic. I just found this site and it is truly a god send. I work in the Internet biz, and spend a lot of time alone at the computer, it's great to have an outlet. Out of some miracle i found the strength to be sober for 3 years, but that ended 2 years ago and my life has been a charade since then. Luckily I am blessed by a good friend who has gotten me in touch with a sponsor and I have been sober 3 days. For all the other alcoholics out there, remember, we are not alone, and by participating in AA we are helping each other. My favorite part of the prayer is the part when we pray for all those who are still suffering. God Bless.


Member: Fred M
Location: MD
Date: 9/26/00
Time: 2:44:46 PM

Comments

I'm Fred an I'm an alcoholic, sober today by the grace of God and AA. When I was drinking, I was a cheating, scheming, lying drunk, who did not know how to spell the word honesty. In sobriety, I've come to recognize that person is still in me, just one drink away from taking up my old ways. But, by a miracle of God, the daily compulsion to drink was lifted from me, and my power to choose was restored. Through a new way of life presented to me by the Big Book, I have the choice to become a better person, correct my defects of character, and strive for a life of rigorous honesty. I can still be dishonest and scheming. What I have now, hoever, is the ability to recognize it and choose to do the right thing or set my mistakes straight. For that, I thank God daily, and thank my brothers and sisters in AA for bringing God's message to me.

By the way, I just completed cancer treatments, which lasted all summer. I once again have the energy to come to this site, read the wisdom I find here, and once in a while, put in my 2 cents worth. Thanks, God, for giving me this day. Thanks for letting me share. Fred


Member: Anonymous
Location:
Date: 9/26/00
Time: 4:16:16 PM

Comments

Honesty must first have a loyalty. It's been my experience that honesty must change accordingly with ones decision (in step three). When aforetime we were loyal to the world and the course of it, We must now focus our attention more towards God and what he tells us through his word. When I began making this change I thought there would be no conflict, I somehow thought that unbeknownest to me the world and God were in harmony on all points and that it was I who had forsaken the one, and that being God and was left with the other, and that being the world. It followed then in my thinking that when I added God to my life I would then have it together....I began little and little to find out otherwise, that in fact God and the world are not in agreement on all points and as I look at honesty here quickly I see it as to God or the world that this loyalty must be established before we can even continue to speak of it. The program would have us continue to take personal inventory, to pray and meditate in an effort to improve our understanding of God. I must say that to my surprise this conflict between the world and God and the honesty thereof can take a man from the place of thinking that these two are one to the (rigorous honesty) of the scriptures that state they are enemies! When once this begins to unfold, honesty changes faces! This honesty between these two is the honesty I believe the program speaks of. A radical change such as finding out there is no Santa Clause is discriptive of it. There are the facts of life according to the world, And there are the facts of life according to God, and herein begins that honesty that not all find.


Member: gary c.
Location:
Date: 9/26/00
Time: 4:48:21 PM

Comments

no santa claus?????? whats you talkin 'bout?

gary c.


Member: Kenny G
Location: Montana
Date: 9/26/00
Time: 6:15:04 PM

Comments

I'am Kenny and I am a Alcholic today i am sober and it feels great. I looked at myself in the mirror today I had not shaved but my eyes were not red there was a gleam in them. I have only been sober for 11 days but the difference it does make by going to meetings and reading the big book. I have to travel by the saloons on my way to the meeetings and it is wierd it is cold here in Montana and the br door is always open when I pass it. Thank God I pass it and the AA door is the one I pass through Thank you God. I am glad there is a internet site also for this alcholic to vist time and time again once again thank you.


Member: Stan P.
Location: Haven Pa.
Date: 9/26/00
Time: 6:16:55 PM

Comments

Welcome To The Newcomers,This is a 24 hour program Forget yesterday itis History and tommorow is Mystery Relax and enjoy the ride,Believe in a higher Power Than Yourself,and You Can Sit in The Backseat ,and Let Your Higher Power Do The Driving!,Probably No Human Power can Relieve Our Alcoholism,But Our Higher Power Does One Day At A TimeThe First Step of this Program Is Honesty,Self Honesty,and It Is The Only One We Can Get 100%Keep Coming Back and You Will Find You Are Not Unique.This Is Where It All Starts Thanx For Letting Me Share Stan P.


Member: To "Anonymous"
Location: Wherever
Date: 9/26/00
Time: 6:36:12 PM

Comments

Very well said, ((Anonymous)), who mentions Santa Claus, who is a horrible lie, not only to susceptible children, but to their parents as well, and is a product of this world, not God, and so your point is well made!! We read in the Big Book, "the world and its people are often quite wrong,…" yes indeed!! But God, in an undistorted understanding of Him, is always right!! So let's have some more like that, ((Anonymous)), and you will show some, (not all) the right way to go! (We couldn't get them ALL sober either).


Member: gh
Location:
Date: 9/26/00
Time: 9:20:13 PM

Comments

oh no you guys arnt kidding are you.you mean after all this time there really is no santa claus?? i cant wait to tell my kids.this will sure save the wife and i a bunch come december. hooray..as were to broke to afford this anyway these year. so its.....happy honica!

going hungry as it is


Member: gh
Location:
Date: 9/26/00
Time: 9:20:17 PM

Comments

oh no you guys arnt kidding are you.you mean after all this time there really is no santa claus?? i cant wait to tell my kids.this will sure save the wife and i a bunch come december. hooray..as were to broke to afford this anyway these year. so its.....happy honica!

going hungry as it is


Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 9/26/00
Time: 11:31:53 PM

Comments

Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome newcomers! Thanks everyone for sharing!

Great topic, Mike. Self-honesty is a key to both gaining sobriety and maintaining sobriety. I think my own denial of my alcoholism prior to becoming a member of AA is a direct reflection of the degree of self-honesty I had when I was drinking, i.e., virtually none!

When we admit we are alcoholics and powerless over alcohol--something essential to our sobriety, we, of course, are being honest with ourselves. I don't think it's any coincidence that self-honesty is the focus of Step 1.

I used to laugh to myself sometimes when people told me I was only fooling myself when justifying my excessive drinking and drug taking. Now, through self-honesty, I have come to see they were right.


Member: Mike M
Location: Old Cape Cod
Date: 9/26/00
Time: 11:34:49 PM

Comments

Hi Group, I am definetly an alcoholic. You people saved my life. For any one new, First be willing then try to be honest then keep an open mind. These are the keys to the steps in that order. It really helps if you have stayed away from that first drink for 24 hours. When I am dishonest I feel guilty. That makes for some mighty tasty drinking. I've had diabetes since I was 14 and started drinking as an alcoholic that same year. Justification and denial or just plain fooling myself was a way of life for me and I had no idea. AA helped me put down the drink and showed me how to not take the first one. It's impossible for me to stay sober without AA. Join a group, get a sponsor and get active! Life gets so much better.

It's great to be back. My new computer arrived after being without for 3 weeks. Thanks for being here. Good night and God bless you all.


Member: CEC H
Location: COWTOWN
Date: 9/27/00
Time: 5:47:37 AM

Comments

My name is Cec and I am an Alcoholic, so much for the honesty topic. To thine own self be true is a diffrent kettle of fish. It's taken me many years and a lot of hard work, to realize that I am just a simple man. I provide what I hope is a loving & caring home to my wife and children,work a steady job,pay my bills on a regular bases. That's a far cry from the drunken ex-con street kid, that stumbled into the rooms of AA nineteen years ago looking for a free ride. Another 24 to go please and have one for yourself.


Member: Tony M.
Location: SC
Date: 9/27/00
Time: 6:20:19 AM

Comments

Hi friends, It's a blessing to find you guys, Thank you for being here! I'm a long time alcoholic who kept trying to get sober and after 20 years in and out the miracle happened! Whoever said don't leave until the miracle happens knew what it's all about. But, don't leave then either. Stick around and share your experience, strength and hope with us other former drunks it really helps. I didn't believe for a long time that i could stay sober, life was just to painful. But the funny thing is i was the one making it that way with my own self centeredness and selfish ways. I couldn't have seen that had it not been for working the steps.That's where my true recovery began! it says in the BB here are the steps we took which are suggested as a program of recovery! I finally took that suggestion, took the necessary steps and have found a new freedom and happiness which is truly a miracle. Bill W. didn't wait no year or two to go beyond step 1. If you really want to experience what sobriet is ,get busy and work the steps!!! That was the most honest thing i could do for myself. Love you all!


Member: MARYPEG
Location:
Date: 9/27/00
Time: 11:13:15 AM

Comments

HI I AM A ALCOHOL THIS IS MY FIRST DAY AT TRYING NOT TO HAVE A DRINK. I HOPE I CAN MAKE IT. I LOVE MY FAMILY. I DONT'T WANT TO HURT MY FAMILY ANY MORE BY BEING DRUNK ALL THE TIME.


Member: Christopher L.
Location:
Date: 9/27/00
Time: 12:53:27 PM

Comments

Good afternoon to everyone. I am an alcoholic. I have been sober for 3 days now. I found this website Monday when I decided that I was drunk for the last time. The idea of self honesty for me has been 10 years in the making. I really thought that everytime I went out drinking, that I could control how much I was going to drink and everytime after about 2 drinks, it was over. I had lost again. I am such a competitive person that I knew I could beat this and drink like a normal person. Well, I was wrong. I can't. But instead of looking at it like a defeat, I look at it like I finally have won because I have admitted my weakness and now I can finally win in the real game that counts. MY LIFE! Thanks.


Member: Chula-h
Location: Arizona
Date: 9/27/00
Time: 1:34:37 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Chula, an alcoholic. Welcome to the newcomers.

DANIELLE, ANNIE, MARY PEG: I don't know if you have been to a meeting yet, I have the impression this is your first contact. The very best way I know to get there is to go to the phone book and call the number listed there and tell the person who answers that you would like to talk to an AA member, (a woman). Don't worry about giving your phone number, you will NOT be pursued if you are not interested. (I hope you will be) .

When she calls, tell her about yourself and listen to her share her experience with you, she will probably offer to take youto a meeting or at least meet you there. If she doesn't, then ASK her to. PLEASE try it this way. This woman can be your LIFELINE for a while, and believe me she knows what you are going through. I have never seen anyone comehappily and calmly, with one hand in Gods, to their first meeting. She can help you understand what is going on, and help you make contacts with others Take telephone numbers from other women, and USE them even if you have to force yourself to do so. The understandng and advice you will receive is invaluable.

The saddest way to get to a mtg is to go alone, sit in the back, say nothing, and go home.

Don't be put off by references to God, this is not a religious program, it's God as you understand God, and most of us came in with no understanding anyway. Just try to focus on how to stay away fromn a drink for twentyfour hours. If you can't, start over, if you keep trying it will work in time.

Beg, borrow or steal a big book. It will explain the steps to recovery, beside, it will give you something to talk to other members about!!

You can stay away from th first drink at first by postponing it for aminute, an hour, or a day at a time. your phone call will give you the answers to that.

Please come back here and tell us all about it, everyone will be interested, and all will have stories to share, for sure. Please try, it really works for more that a million, it canwork for you. I hope this helps, anywy it helped me. Love, chula.


Member: Susan S.
Location: Nampa, Id.
Date: 9/27/00
Time: 4:02:12 PM

Comments

Hi, my name is Susan and I'm an alcoholic. Honsty is something that I've been dealing with reacently. I still find it amazing how I continually come across things that I need to hear(or read in this case!). I've been honest with everyone around me but haven't been honest to myself. I'm glad that I came across the post regarding coins. "To thine own self be true". It's been a hard realization for me to accept I haven't been honest to myself. That is one of the first things that I was taught when I came into the program. To forgive myself and be honest to myself. How easy it is for me to forget about me when I think that I'm helping others. On another note: When I first came into the program, I went to a New Year's Solution in Boise Id. and went into the archives. There I found something that has stuck with me ever since. "God didn't open the gates of Heaven to let me in, He opened the gates of Hell to let me out". The other thing that keeps me from taking that first drink is pg.449 "And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today."..... Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Bobo
Location: Hanalei,Hawaii
Date: 9/27/00
Time: 6:43:52 PM

Comments

Hi my name is Bobo and I am an alcoholic, Honesty and to my own self be true is a good topic for me to look at today. In being honest with myself I have to admit I haven't really been being true to myself and what I truely believe in. I've been being a people pleasing human doormat. There seems to be a big differents between being selfish and self-full. Selfishness is one of the major symptoms of this disease. While I was drinking all I thought about was how to get drunk or stay drunk, excluding all family, friends and loved one. Then I got sober and tried to make up to everyone and in the process excluded myself. My loved ones used to complain because I spent all my evenings getting drunk. This was selfish of me. Now they complain because I spend every evening at my A.A. meeting. Is this selfish of me? No! Without A.A. and my friends in the fellowship I would be dead. Not even a nice quick death but a long slow miserable painful for everyone death. Now I have to learn how not to be a kiss ass people pleaser and try to live a more balanced life. I need guidance. I don't have the answers or the salutions to my problems but there are other drunks who have faced been with these problems before me and thank God we have A.A. and the steps. My family was used to me being a people pleaser because if I just did everything they wanted then I hoped they'd just leave me alone and let me get drunk. Now in sobriety I try to give myself more love and freedom without being a captive of guilt and manipulations of others. The whole dynamics of my relationships have changed and are still changing. It takes some getting used to. Anyway, thanks for the good topic. Aloha, Bobo


Member: Jason H
Location: FL
Date: 9/27/00
Time: 8:13:36 PM

Comments


Member: Jason H
Location: FL
Date: 9/27/00
Time: 8:19:32 PM

Comments

hi my name is jason i'm only 19 years old and already have a d.u.i. i guess you could say i had a little drinking problem. but i'm just like any other college student. i am a social drinker i never drink alone and never will.


Member: Nancy
Location: california
Date: 9/27/00
Time: 8:22:05 PM

Comments

Hi, Nancy, alcoholic. I like the topic of honesty and strive for it everyday. It is getting easier and eaiser each day that I am sober. When I was drinking or even early in soberity my first thought or idea was usually a lie. It got to where I didn't know the difference. It took a long time in AA to change that behavior. Even now I sometimes find myself adding to the truth to make myself look or feel better. At least it is getting better(with the help of the 10th step). I pray for God to show me the truth about me and boy have I been show the truth. I don't always like what is shown, but I accept it. I want to change. I have to in order to stay sober. If you are new this may sound impossible, but it's not. If you have admitted you have a problem with alcohol then you have made a step towards honesty. I never thought I would stop drinking and when I did I had no idea what to do next. AA seemed so overwhelming to me. I wanted to leave. I knew I couldn't. I had nowhere else to go. The steps, the fellowship and God have changed me from the inside out.


Member: harold
Location: sacramento, ca
Date: 9/27/00
Time: 9:18:06 PM

Comments

hi, my name is harold. i am an alcoholic, in being honest with myself and my family i have been an alcoholic for along time. i haven't had a drink in 22 days. today was a real hard day for me, i had to put my son's dog to sleep and it took alot out of me. on the way home i was thinking just one drink. i can honestly tell you i didn't do it and i feel good about myself.


Member: Woodsman
Location: NS, Canada
Date: 9/27/00
Time: 9:24:38 PM

Comments

Another sober Kanook from the North!

Nice topic Mike. I'm new here, and I've been having long thoughts about actually posting to this site, but finally decided I'd go for it. I have been thinking about honesty lately as well …and there seems to be two ways I can look at this topic, self honesty and honesty with others. While it's hard to separate the two and remain whole, I believe there is a difference in how we can approach honesty with others, verses how we deal with this ourselves, but I have to be 'honest' with this kind of thinking, also, when in doubt, I ask my HP for guidance.

To stay alive and sober, my self honesty is paramount, and I have a sponsor and 3rd, 4th, 9th, and 10th steps of the program to help me find this honest existence, even when I do not want to see or live the truth. I am 'willing to face it.' The bottom line here is my spiritual, emotional, and mental health, and I cannot compromise in those areas and stay happily sober. Regarding this topic, other's opinions about me are secondary.

…Does honesty mean I "tell it like it is." Mostly, but that depends… sometimes being 'honest' is not as good as just listening. …Does honesty with others mean I go out of my way to tell people I sometimes avoid them because I perceive they've been manipulative, controlling, vindictive, hurtful, or otherwise just unhealthy to associate with, or does honesty mean I just avoid them altogether, …and let them figure out on their own that their character defects are causing them problems? …That depends …Does honesty mean I confront others when I see them lie or do something hurtful to them self or to others? …In some cases, such as sponsees, but that depends too… If I'm asked I'll probably tell'em. Better not for me to assume, I can't live in someone else's skin, including a sponsee, and mostly follow the program rule of thumb to pray for guidance, drop the ego, and be of service, if possible. Do I make mistakes, yeah of course I do, maybe making one now and just don't know it. Everyone's flawed to some extent, some more than others I've been told.

These days I try to follow a path of least resistance and walk away from conflict, maybe sort of a Canadian thing, and let others live their program. Other's lives, good or bad, are their business, and it is not up to me to judge them. Instead, I pray for their health. These days, while I am not as fearful as I once was when I drank, I choose to associate with the kind of people that help me grow and build a healthy self image, and avoid those that don't (the nasty old playmates, playpens, and playthings). Decisions like these aren't always easy, as this has meant that I do avoid some family members, as well. But my program comes first.

If someone forces a confrontation, and if I feel the need to let them have it with both barrels, I'll do it, but I don't like it, and usually pray my way through such events, and pray for clarity and even temperament, and for the right words to say, so I don't have to make another amend. These days I have a choice on how I respond. I do not like making amends, but I do not believe in being a doormat for anyone any longer either. Hopefully, honest conflicts are healthy, but as the book says, "anger is the dubious luxury of normal men," and I'm not exactly normal, nor do I handle anger well. So, I do what I can to avoid potentially harmful or angry situations these days. Also, often there are times in AA when making a direct amend, even if honest, can harm others, so at times, I have avoided making such direct amends, and make them indirect to avoid causing further harm.

So it comes back to the mirror, I am looking at it while writing this post, and realize I have a few unresolved issues to write about, I can see it in my eyes, nothing big, but I also know I just have to be patient, let live today, and ask for God's guidance. I have worked through my present issues in painful detail and know where I stand, and will move ahead without regret. I have a life to go for, a program to live by, a higher power to follow, and go for it I will. I hope my EH&S is of benefit to some.

Thanks for the topic Mike and the chance to reflect on my program!..

PS Blessings to those who use this page to reach out their hands for help, Go to a meeting, see for yourself, and keep coming back!


Member: Adam H.
Location: Nagano, JAPAN
Date: 9/28/00
Time: 3:42:58 AM

Comments

Adam, alcoholic.

To thine own self be true....excellent topic, and I am right in there with everyone who is talking about knowing who "yourself" is first. I think the hardest part of my disease (not my drinking) was that I was determined right from the start to extinguish that goody two shoes little geek I had been for so long. Drinking had a large part in that, as did lying to everyone about who and what I was and who and what I had been. It didn't take people very long to figure out I was full of shit, and befoer I knew it I was alone with alcohol and myself. Bad combination. I knew I was a liar, but that didn't stop me from lying...and I lived every day taht I drank with a feeling of unworthiness.

I have since learned in AA that there is one noble hing about human beings....it is the truth and there is no substitute. And if I cannot be honest with myself and with others, then I live with that feeling of unworthiness that I had when I was drinking every day.

Steps 4-9 really helped melearn how to be honest with you, with God and with myself, and I try to practice that kind of honesty in all my affairs. As a result my life has totally changed. I no longer live in that place of unworthiness because I have new tools to live by today. the choice I get to make everyday is "Will I choose to use them today?" When I choose to do so, I am happy joyous and free...and honest....and sober.

Thank you.


Member: Joe A.   DOS 2/19/71
Location: Portland, OR
Date: 9/28/00
Time: 7:13:40 AM

Comments

Hi, everyone! Joe A. from Portland back again.

I have seen some marvelous shares about honesty in this forum tonight. Let me add a definition I encountered fairly recently: Honest is the absence of the intent to deceive.

It is a very good idea if I quite deceiving myself by saying no changes are needed. The old habit of dishonesty takes time to change into honesty. Thank God, it was not necessary for me to reach this goal instantly OR PERFECTLY. Small changes add up to big ones.

On the subject of "dry drunks", the answer that works for me is this: the opposite of acceptance is resistance or fighting. I have yet to figure out any way to have any peace of mind while I am fighting. Without acceptance, I have no peace of mind. Without peace of mind, all I have is so-dry-ty. I am on another dry drunk, and today it hurts worse than it did in my early days in AA, because now I know it is not EVER necessary. I know the answer, I just sometimes do not practice that principle in some area of my life and suffer the consequences.

Recovery is do-able. I simply takes more time than we like. How do you get patience? You wait for it! WAIT--that is a nasty four-letter word!

God loves you and wants for you nothing but good. I have finally stopped disagreeing with God.


Member: Stan L.
Location: Maine
Date: 9/28/00
Time: 11:25:27 AM

Comments

Danielle and other newcomers; Suggestions; Go to a meeting ask who the secretary is, ask for a temporary sponsor.(women for women)(men for men)Get a copy of LIVING SOBER and read it. then follow your sponsors suggestions.


Member: crazed
Location:
Date: 9/28/00
Time: 12:09:31 PM

Comments

the pathway to hell is paved with good intentions.oooooohhhhh nnnnnnoooooo

hhhhheeeeeelllpppppp

crazed!!!!


Member: lois
Location:
Date: 9/28/00
Time: 2:41:50 PM

Comments

whats an ftf meeting?

lois


Member: Joanna
Location: NW
Date: 9/28/00
Time: 5:34:20 PM

Comments

Joanna- Alcoholic, a FTF meeting is a face to face meeting, real live people. The topic is a great one. To thine ownself be true! Well, wait, Welcome to everyone, new, old, struggling, all of us. I really get teared up when I read these posts. I have compassion today, something I never had before. I would not wish this disease on anyone. And if the gates of Hell( I trully believe I was in my own personal Hell) the run, get to an AA meeting and raise your hand and ask for help. Everyone had to do it at some point and we all care! We have to be willing, as the dying can be. I was dying and did not what to do. I came to AA and for the first time in my life I asked for help and I did what was suggested. I talked to the other woman and I cried alot and I believed what they said, stay it gets better. Not overnight, but it will, they promised me. And I am here only 4 1/2 years sober, and it did and does get better. Being true to myself is remembering the Hell I came from and being willing to go to any lenght not to go back. I have alot of fear around life in gerneral, this I drank over for years, but today I have a great support group, friends, and strangers alike who are in the rooms of AA teaching and learning together how to do this sober life. I have never had it so good. Please if you want to stop killing yourself with drugs and alcohol, call or go to AA it will help YOU save your life, thats a promise. I hope and pray everyone has a sober day/night and remember ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE, HELPS EVERYTIME. Love ya, Joanna


Member: Liz
Location:
Date: 9/28/00
Time: 5:55:31 PM

Comments

I'm only 17, but I think I might be starting to have a drinking problem. I tried to stop last week, but then I got so drunk on Saturday that I could hardly breath. I've drank everyday this week. Enough is enough. My boyfiend and my best friend get very upset with me. I don't get along with my parents, and so I end up drinking every night after dinner. It's weird because I'm in all honors/AP classes, an my grades are slipping. Everything is getting screwed up. Please help.


Member: jon
Location: maryland
Date: 9/28/00
Time: 7:47:19 PM

Comments

Jon 32, been drinking for 17 years. I finally have to admit I cant stop. I have tried dozens of times and have failed. I havent got up the courage to actually attend a meeting yet, but I am trying.


Member: Adam H.
Location: Nagano, JAPAN
Date: 9/28/00
Time: 7:53:38 PM

Comments

Adam, alcoholic.

Sorry to share twice, but the last share got my attention.

Liz, thanks for letting us know. If YOU think you have a problem with alcohol, I'd encourage you to call your local AA chapter and ask where and when the nearest meeting is. Show up there and listen. Talk to people afterwards. They won't mind that your only 17 (I was young when I first came to AA four years ago, and I am still sober)...the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.

And if you do think you may be an alcoholic, I will share with you something they first told me when I came to AA: If you don't drink you won't get drunk...and if you don't get drunk and keep going to meetings and talking with other alcoholics there, your life will change...it may even improve.

Good luck. I'll pass with that.


Member: bl
Location:
Date: 9/28/00
Time: 9:43:32 PM

Comments

i agree if i would have went to aa when i was 17 i wouldnt be in the mess im in now thats for sure.go for it liz. life is shorter then you think when you get to my age.life flys by.

good luck,bin laden


Member: Rick
Location: Texas
Date: 9/28/00
Time: 11:38:27 PM

Comments

Hello everyone. Rick, here. Alcoholic.

Liz and Jon. It sounds like you're trying to figure out if you have a problem, or if you really need outside help. A few weeks ago, I was in the same place you are now.

I now know that I really did know the answer to these questions. Yes, I have a problem. Yes, I need help. The real question for me was this, "Is it really necessary for me to give up drinking completely?"

It takes a while to come out of denial. It is the nature of the drug to confuse and hinder rational thought. It's kind of like being on a roller coaster. Sometimes, things seem fairly under control. However, you know that life is going to get pretty wild and scary soon - and you feel powerless to do anything about it.

So, if you think you have had enough of the roller coaster, take the advice of the others here and go find out what your alternatives are.

See you on the ground.


Member: Susan G.
Location: upstate NY
Date: 9/29/00
Time: 1:55:41 AM

Comments

My name is Susan, and I'm a grateful recovering alcoholic. Thank you for the topic. Being true to myself today means accepting myself for who I am right now, warts and all. In August I celebrated five years of continuous sobriety, and each year has been better than the year before. Being true to myself means that I do not put on "masks" to cover up my feelings. Before recovery, I did not want anyone to know what I was really feeling. I did not want anyone to know the "real" me. I thought that if people "really" knew me, they wouldn't like me, and I wanted desperately to be liked. The funny thing is that I didn't know the "real" me. By being willing to risk sharing my real feelings with others, by working the 12 steps to the best of my ability, and by being open-minded enough to listen to and accept feedback from other recovering persons--and especially from my sponsor--I am learning who I am. To the newcomers: Welcome. And please give yourself the priceless gift of sobriety. Open your telephone books and look under "Alcoholics Anonymous" to find a contact number for AA. Call the number and ask where and when there is an AA meeting you can get to. Most AA "hotlines" can also put you in touch with a sober member of AA who will help you to get to a meeting--driving you to a meeting, accompanying you to a meeting, etc. Don't worry about "imposing" on us. Helping another alcoholic helps this alcoholic to stay sober. I am grateful for another day of sobriety.


Member: Rich R, slowly recovering compulsive person :-)
Location: Detroit
Date: 9/29/00
Time: 5:32:22 AM

Comments

Mike, thanks for the topic. Even tho I've heard it many many times before (in fact, I've even used it as MY topic for meetings before), I still am a LONG way from being honest! I'm not sure if devious is one of the opposites for honest, but that's me lately. I'm coming up on my 10th anniversary pretty soon and it is humiliating for me to admit that I still need to do a lot of work on something as basic as honesty. But, I guess until I can become aware of my dishonesty (again), I don't stand a chance of changing in that area. So, once again, thanks Mike for holding up that "mirror" so I can take a good look at myself!


Member: the bridge  down under
Location: no mans land
Date: 9/29/00
Time: 3:34:33 PM

Comments

i looked in the mirror and what did i see,i saw an ole addict staring crazy at me.with hair all a mess,and clothes ragged and torn,i said you look like a bum.is that the way you were born? he said,oh i think not,this took me some time, spent lots of money to the last dime.gave up my house,my wife,family and car all for the booze i drink from this jar.


Member: Anonymous
Location:
Date: 9/29/00
Time: 3:35:10 PM

Comments

I have searched the arcives of mine heart for this one; Having worked for the Lord (in Jesus name) for awhile, I recall a discorse on honesty that I delivered that was meet and right so to do, (that didn't go over so well) then in AA and I shall share it with you, tell me, what you think: "The dishonest man seeks after sobriety, The honest man seeks after God." These are the two paths one can take in regards to the program; Some say they do a bit of both, to those I say the one will overide the other, as it's written: "No man can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one and despise the other." And again, "Where your treasure is there your heart will be also." In explaination of this then, this verse applies: "He that finds his life shall lose it and he that loses his life shall find it." For he that trusts in sobriety rather than God "finds" his life and in so doing loses it, whereas he that trusts in God rather than sobriety "loses" his life, and in so doing finds it.


Member: saintly
Location:
Date: 9/29/00
Time: 6:14:34 PM

Comments

i thinks i stay away from the lake of fire,as it smells of sulfur.volcanic i believe.or possibly hot springs from underground cesspools.


Member: Donna  
Location: ***
Date: 9/29/00
Time: 10:20:11 PM

Comments

Hi. I'm Donna and I'm and alcoholic. Honesty--I remember when I first came to AA--my first home group--there were a few oldtimers who always referred to a drunken thief. Once you sober up---your still a thief. For myself it's all about change and the steps are the guidelines on how to change. After about 3 Fourth steps I really was able to let go and make peace with the past and begin to live a reasonably happy, peaceful and content life. Not to say I don't have any problems because I certainly do I certainly make my share of mistakes. I'm just so grateful to AA and God for giving me another chance. I try to live one day at a time, do the next right thing and look to my sponsor, recovering friends, and my therapist for guidance when I'm not sure what to do. I pray alot for guidance but sometimes prayer alone is not enough. I believe God has put so many wonderful people in my life and I do believe that God speaks through others. When I make mistakes or handle situations in ways I know are not right---I go to the Tenth step. I try to do that daily. I don't want to drink again--that's the bottom line--and I know if I don't live by AA's suggestions--it's just a matter of time and sobriety has been to good to jepordize. That's just been my experience and thank you for letting me share.


Member: A b
Location: hudson Bay.
Date: 9/30/00
Time: 12:39:12 AM

Comments

To thine own self be true. I'm an alcoholic, so I need not lie to me to think I can drink successfully. But, I need God's help in those mental blank spots referred to in the BB. I read somewhere today that forgiveness does not get them off the hook, it gets ME off the hook. To be trun to me means to be the best that I can be, le them be them let GOd be GOd and get on with it in the present moment.

Last year, my roommate chose to fight me on my concept of this expression and I see her point of view. The "Self" part threw her off and I thought, well, No explanation will communicate the difference. I just kept right on being me and there have been no fights on that one since...


Member: Queen Baby
Location: Florida
Date: 9/30/00
Time: 1:45:46 AM

Comments

Hello Sober World, My name is Jenny and I'm an alcoholic. I'll always be an alcoholic. To thine own self be true (Shakespeare?) is my favorite expression. The last time I got into an argument about my own alcoholism, I got drunk. So I don't do that anymore. The saddest part of this malady is the prognosis must come from the patient. I didn't think I was anything like all you jailbirds, but I did tend to lose my car a lot. I stuck around long enough to hear "wait for the miracle". I really liked that phrase, it was (and is) so positive. It took me a few years to wonder what the hell the "miracle" was. Now I know! I'm not drunk! Eternally grateful to all who shared at meetings. (Jason H., keep coming back)


Member: queen baby
Location: Florida
Date: 9/30/00
Time: 2:39:59 AM

Comments

!I'm trying to get to a traditional open discussion group, can someone please help? I loved Ken's story. I've lost my car, my dignity, friendships, but never bladder control. But I had this weird puking (morning after) thing going. I think there should be more discussion on DT's and various descriptions of them for the purpose of identification. Mine would be that weird shaky pukey thing in the morning.


Member: terry
Location:
Date: 9/30/00
Time: 12:11:19 PM

Comments

queen baby, go to the coffee pot meeting,we can chat there.

ive got the hots for you, terry


Member: Melissa W
Location: Texas
Date: 9/30/00
Time: 5:37:13 PM

Comments

I'm Melissa & I'm an alcoholic/addict. After 6 long & sometimes bumpy years, "to thine own self be true" means the following to me:

We are placed here to be of utmost service to God. When you, another drunk are trying to work thru the work, God's there. Forming a trinity. Being true to yourself - HALT, keep my side of the street clean, be available to carry the message. Simple - we all have secret thoughts & desires that may not appear "appropriate" but God already knows about it.

My opinion - when I'm struggling w/a recovery or life issue, I try to remember that this is not the last chopper out of Saigon & there's a learning experience in every single thing.


Member: Michele B.
Location: Texas
Date: 9/30/00
Time: 7:27:46 PM

Comments

Chris C: I had the same thing happen to me while I was still drinking. Although it was not a formalized complaint it was devastating nonetheless. I did not have a program and therefore did not have a reasonable, healthy frame of reference by which to judge any possible character defects. I simply took the abuse and believed that is this was said about me it must be true.I could not stop drinking til I got out of this work situation because the accusation came from a sick, clever person with serious issues.....admitting I was powerless over the situation, that as a human being, acceptance sometimes meant I could not fix everytyhing and that some things were not meant to be endured, I began an awesome journey of sobriety over three years ago. "To thine ownself be true." In the face of such awful allegations, do the next right thing...whether it be gutting it up and enduring, pursuing action of some type, mowing the lawn or fixing your self a nice dinner and then give it all to your Higher Power. I will pray for you. And I agree, in HP's way, justice will prevail.


Member: zeke  krause
Location: oil city,pa
Date: 9/30/00
Time: 9:14:35 PM

Comments

zeke Alcoholic, acceptance is still the answer to all my problems today. i must always live in today and not tomorrow or yesterday. as long as i don't take that first drink. i'm working the the program of aa. the program that saved my life. good luck