Member: The Tech's
Location:
Date: 9/23/2001
Time: 10:43:29 PM

Comments

We have resolved our web server difficulties (we think) Thanks for your patience oer the last week.


Member: Amy
Location:
Date: 9/23/2001
Time: 10:53:06 PM

Comments

This may seem to be a silly question but I hope someone has had this problem and has found a way to over come it..I cant figure out why I have such a hard time going to f2f meetings..there must be some reason but I dont know what it is!! I want to go, I like it once I am there and always feel good when I get home from a meeting..I want the "fellowship" very much...but I can't make myself go, I have been to maybe 4 in the last 38 days!! I feel like an outsider 3 of the meetings I have gone to are "all recovery" and most of the women there are coke users and mostly concerned with that more than an alcohol problem. Thank God I can't relate to that addiction, but I just don't feel like I belong at any of the meetings I have gone to, How can I get past that?? Please!!!..some suggestions..


Member: Lesley
Location:
Date: 9/23/2001
Time: 11:05:22 PM

Comments

All these things take time. I suggest that you find meetings where you can relate. Example, if your problem is more alcohol related try to find meetings where there are more people that have just an alcohol problem. Try to identify with what you have in common with the people there. Try to find a sponsor. Even a temporary sponsor will help to get you through things for now. Try also to pick someone who you can relate to. You can always get another sponsor later. For now the basics are the most important thing so you'll have a good foundation. I hope this will help to get you going in the right direction. Oh, about being afraid of people. We're all that way at first and sometimes after some time in the program, for myself and other people we still get the jitters about speaking. We're all in this together. In time it will get better for you.


Member: Robin A.
Location: FL
Date: 9/23/2001
Time: 11:17:24 PM

Comments

Well Amy-you need to find some "AA" meetings-I have never heard of "all recovery" meetings where both addictions are talked about. Granted there is usually dual addicted people at the meetings-but we try to keep the focus on alcohol related problems in an "AA" meeting. The other kind of addiction has "NA" meetings where the focus is usually on drugs-not alcohol. Call your area "Intergroup" office for a listing of "AA" meetings-and if your not sure on which to go to---look for a "closed discussion" that will be a meeting open only to alcoholics-and find someone there that you can ask about where other "AA" meetings are located. You can pull up the "Online AA Links" in the "links" options on this site to find the "AA" listings by state. F2F is very important if you want to recover. Good luck-and keep coming back!


Member: lenny
Location:
Date: 9/23/2001
Time: 11:20:33 PM

Comments

I hear you... I'm sitting hear regretting the bottle by the mouse pad and wishing I could make it to the first... How did you make it to your first meeting?


Member: Robin A.
Location: the same...
Date: 9/23/2001
Time: 11:29:27 PM

Comments

Lenny-if you really want it-just get the courage up-call the local "Intergroup" office and get to the first meeting-ask someone to be a temp sponsor-that way your accountable-and if you truly want sobriety-you will follow the suggestions-or you will fall. Put as much effort into getting to the first meeting as you put into getting that bottle.


Member: Al
Location: S.W. Florida
Date: 9/24/2001
Time: 12:23:06 AM

Comments

I'm Al, an alcoholic. One very valuable lesson I've learned from you people over the years is that when anything is especially troubling to me I can always start with very little steps. When I didn't want to do something but knew I should I was told to pray for the willingness to do it. It works! In a situation like this you might start with someone in the program that you can start sharing with one on one. Then maybe you can go to meetings with that person. The idea being to just get something started, one step at a time. I wish you the best in this because it is so worth it to be able to find a group that you feel really at home and can share honestly with others. The benefits to your sobriety are tremendous. One day at a time.


Member: Maureen Anne
Location: Coast
Date: 9/24/2001
Time: 12:23:53 AM

Comments

I've been Drinking for way over half my life. I went my first AA meeting on my own accord during the month of May when I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I looked up the number, someone was there that said they would go with me just don't drink until than. I stayed sober for 30 days. The moment after midnight of that impressive day, I opened a beer to celebrate,, relax or do reserch? Well I went to the meeting that next night to recieve my 30 day chip and declined. I did it all by some power or stuborness. I still keep going to meetings with never more than 2 weeks of sobriety, But I don't drink every day like I use to!!! This AA program has done me a world of good,but I havn't been a role model or saint.I am probably the worst poster child for AA, but the best for Alcohol's cunning and powerful force. I won't give up on me, though. I don't want to let other's down in the meeting's but they know, I havn't given in to the program and it's promises---yet! I am a very slow learner here. My husband drinks every day, not a day goes by that he doesn't drink. He is just a drunk, not abusive out right just a drunk, like I have been for the last 17 years I've been married with him. I'm really afraid. That's all there is to it. I'm afraid until he wants to do this, which I doubt he ever will??? They say to go to any lengths, well I'm afraid I'd have to leave my husband to stay sober, so right now---I'm trying to figure it out by comprimising. I know it is not a perfect world, and i'm just tryin to do the best I can? Thanks for listening---it helped me? You guys sure do, thanks for being here! Maureen (toast on the coast)


Member: Maureen Anne
Location: toast on the coast
Date: 9/24/2001
Time: 12:25:01 AM

Comments

I've been Drinking for way over half my life. I went my first AA meeting on my own accord during the month of May when I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I looked up the number, someone was there that said they would go with me just don't drink until than. I stayed sober for 30 days. The moment after midnight of that impressive day, I opened a beer to celebrate,, relax or do reserch? Well I went to the meeting that next night to recieve my 30 day chip and declined. I did it all by some power or stuborness. I still keep going to meetings with never more than 2 weeks of sobriety, But I don't drink every day like I use to!!! This AA program has done me a world of good,but I havn't been a role model or saint.I am probably the worst poster child for AA, but the best for Alcohol's cunning and powerful force. I won't give up on me, though. I don't want to let other's down in the meeting's but they know, I havn't given in to the program and it's promises---yet! I am a very slow learner here. My husband drinks every day, not a day goes by that he doesn't drink. He is just a drunk, not abusive out right just a drunk, like I have been for the last 17 years I've been married with him. I'm really afraid. That's all there is to it. I'm afraid until he wants to do this, which I doubt he ever will??? They say to go to any lengths, well I'm afraid I'd have to leave my husband to stay sober, so right now---I'm trying to figure it out by comprimising. I know it is not a perfect world, and i'm just tryin to do the best I can? Thanks for listening---it helped me? You guys sure do, thanks for being here! Maureen (toast on the coast)


Member: Mo
Location: toast on  the coast
Date: 9/24/2001
Time: 12:26:36 AM

Comments

ooops, sorry


Member: Joe K.  chillbmp@totalzone.com
Location: Huntsville, TX
Date: 9/24/2001
Time: 1:07:43 AM

Comments

AMY - I went to my first AA meeting because I couldn't find any other person or institution who was able to offer any viable help. In fact, they all suggested I go to AA. I finally got to AA and experienced the feelings you described in your post when you attend. I went to my first AA meeting, not because of willingness or desire; I wanted to find out a way to stay away from the booze, and I knew it was a bigger monster than me. After getting there, the man who later became my sponsor told me there were only TWO times to go to meetings: WHEN I WANT TO GO, AND WHEN I DON'T WANT TO GO. I still use that rule of thumb today even after many years being sober. There are actually times when I can now take them or leave them ("leaving them" is not a very good option for me and those times are certainly few and far between). When I am struggling with the decision as to whether I want to go to a meeting or not, I know it is time for me to go. You didn't say where you are from, but I am willing to bet you can find a real AA meeting in the area, rather than a glorified "group therapy" session. Take the others' advice and call Intergroup in your area. If you can't find their number, call NY at the number in the back of your Big Book, or email me with your location and I will get the number for you.

LENNY - I made it to my first meeting when I had reached the point where I was "sick and tired of being sick and tired," and there were no other options for me than to go to AA. Believe me when I tell you, I tried many other avenues than AA, but they all encouraged me to go to AA. I haven't regretted that decision since. But I would have never gone if booze had not whooped my butt enough to make me "reasonable" and "willing." It was a difficult decision, an even more difficult action to go, and hard to swollow the shame I carried into the meeting with me. But what else was I to do?

God bless both of you in your journey. You are in my prayers.


Member: Kris R
Location:
Date: 9/24/2001
Time: 1:54:01 AM

Comments

Sober 35 days and went to my first open AA meeting this weekend. Every one was very supportive and they gave me token as a new comer and I also got my 30 day token. Though I knew that going to AA meetings is essential for continued sobriety, I was apprehensive worrying about confidentiality. I will keep attending AA meetings as the other choice of drinking will be life threatening and family wrecking.

Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Terry A
Location: NB
Date: 9/24/2001
Time: 5:29:07 AM

Comments

I am Terry and I am an alcoholic. It took me a long time to accept this fact and I fought it.I had a hard time sharing at meetings when I was in denial and did not even know that I was at that time. I had a slip after 13 years of sobriety but now have two years again and feel better than ever.My sobriety is the most important thing to me now that and my son.


Member: matt m.
Location: delaware
Date: 9/24/2001
Time: 7:18:59 AM

Comments

hi to all. i'm matt & i'm an alcoholic.it was so hard to go to those 1st few meetings 'cause i'm a real man & real men never share their feelings.but it felt so good once i opened up to other human beings that i kicked myself for not going sooner.remember to be selfish about your recovery:discuss what's on YOUR mind.everyone get's a turn.try to focus on the similarities amongst your fellow alcoholics instead of the differences.read the big book everyday before meetings & it'll show you that you are not alone in your thoughts & feelings;we're all screwed up in the head.but at least we're screwed up together.one for all & all for one. good luck & love, matt m.


Member: Amy
Location:
Date: 9/24/2001
Time: 8:19:13 AM

Comments

Lenny)) I went to my first meeting 2 days after I quit drinking, I was scared to death!! I felt like I was walking into a firing squad..but it was not like that at all they were all very nice and very friendly and welcomed me. Once you get past that first meeting..you just get in the door the first time.. its easier walk through the door the next time. my problem is just getting out of the house.

The one AA meeting I went to that was strictly for alcohol.. was 99% men... me being the only female there, that was a nightmare..talk about feeling out of place, these guys were all dressed in suits and I was not dressed up at all!!

I just feel that my experiences with meetings has been some what disappointing and I feel like maybe... I just don't need to go to these f2f meetings, yet I read all these post from people who stress the importance of f2f, for thier continued sobriety that it does scare me to know that I am not going and I don't have a sponsor. I don't have alot of time in sobriety but I do want to keep it (39 days).. I am not struggling to hard or white knuckeling this, It has not been easy by any means to not drink... especially the first couple of weeks, but it also has not been as bad as I thought it would be either. I want what you people have, that go to f2f ...I want to learn and to work the steps etc. and have the fellowship. I was going to try meeting "shopping" just going to different ones until I found home, but after 2 dissapointments and the embarassing male meeting, I have stopped shopping. What to do??


Member: matt m.
Location: delaware
Date: 9/24/2001
Time: 8:37:29 AM

Comments

hi amy.....matt again.please call your local inter-group and ask for a female member to contact you by phone.i'll bet my ass that you'll find another female alcoholic who had the same problem you do with finding a comfortable meeting.there are also women's groups online.please keep reaching out your hand 'til the right person grabs it.39 days is a great beginning.if you're like me it took a while to completely screw up your life;it'll take a while to get better.we love you.matt m.


Member: Susan W.
Location: Charleston, SC
Date: 9/24/2001
Time: 9:49:45 AM

Comments

I'm Susan, an alcoholic. Been in and out of the meetings for a couple of years now. The longest I was ever able to stay sober was 6 months. Usually 2 weeks is my limit. I'm still trying, though. The first time I went to a meeting, I was scared to death. Ashamed. I found everyone incredibly welcoming, friendly, accepting. It was a total shock. I don't know what I expected, to be flogged maybe, but I didn't expect acceptance, friendship, laughter. I had a wonderful temporary sponsor immediately. Unfortunately, she moved away before I had 3 months under my belt. I haven't been able to trust another sponsor since. You see, I've had a lot of trouble trusting women in general. I even went to a few meetings where I was the only female. I did not feel weird or out of place. They still were accepting and friendly. I will make a strong attempt at getting back and finding a sponsor. I can't do it alone. I need the fellowship. I need my hand held the first couple of weeks. This on-line meeting helps. Thanks.


Member: Janice B.
Location: Syracuse
Date: 9/24/2001
Time: 10:59:43 AM

Comments

Meetings are tough for many of us. I tend to visit this sight daily and I go to a meeting on Sunday night. I recently tried and failed my attempt to quit drinking. I have been drinking since I was fourteen. It is a tough habit to break. I rationalize that it took me quite a few times to quit smoking (I have stopped for eight years) that drinking may take the same kind of perseverance. I have liked being sober WAY more than when I am drinking which is why it perplexes me that I still sometimes drink. My last sobriety was almost two weeks. I hope this one will last much longer. One day at a time.

God Bless and Keep the Faith


Member: Dan Smith
Location: North Florida
Date: 9/24/2001
Time: 11:15:47 AM

Comments

Lenny, When the pain of the disease becomes greater than the fear of recovery, you will go and not one second before. Ask God for a sign, his infinite love and guidance, put down the bottle and go to a meeting for your sake. Then contact me please at gentlebrother@hotmail.com. I could really use your courage right now. but for me to use your courage you have to use it first. Listen to the people on this website they know alot about sobriety. As to everyone else hello God Bless, and I would like to toot my own horn just a tad. God willing I will have six years on wednesday. Any and all contacts would be useful, and appreciated. will explain to anyone that contacts me. again, God Bless to all I love you all, and if nobody told you that they love you today I do.


Member: Rich R
Location: Massachusetts
Date: 9/24/2001
Time: 11:34:09 AM

Comments

Hi, everyone my name is Rich and I'm an alcoholic, I have been sober for 54 days now. I have a good sponsor and a grat home group. I to had struggled with staying sober. I first started in 1996 and have just recently had success. Now I can sit here and write to you how hard I tried but it would be a lie. The bottom line was I was not ready, I did not do the Step one. You have to be willing to accept the fact that you are an alchoholic and there is a help if you put your life in the hands of your higher power. When I first started I thought AA was some kind of cult. I heard about this disease, well I was scared to catch this disease ( little did I know I had it already). I didn't fit in at any of the meetings, but I keep going to different ones and I can tell you some of them were down right awful. An oldtimer told me what ever you hear at these meetings do not judge, identify. no matter where I go or what meeting I go to wheter it is a discussion meeting or Big Book I identify to some part of the story. I have such a sense of inner peace right now its incrediable I wish the same for all of you. Please stick with it, because your worst day sober is better than your best day drinking


Member: gil
Location: Texas
Date: 9/24/2001
Time: 1:34:17 PM

Comments

Hello, I'm gil, an alcoholic. The truth is you will either find a f2f meeting and start working the steps with a sponsor or you will keep drinking. Do you want to get sober or just talk about it!!!! Go to a meeting and find the things that you have in common. Stop looking for the differences. You are not special!! Good Luck.


Member: Mark W.
Location: St. Louis
Date: 9/24/2001
Time: 1:52:40 PM

Comments

Amy,

And the others that have posted above. Those that make meeting, make it, those that do not, usually don't. Now, how does one find a meeting where they are comfortable? Ever hear of 90 in 90? That IS NOT just because you will be too busy to drink. It is because if you apply yourself, you WILL find the right meeting, and sponser. Attending all those meetings will necessitate going to more than one some days, so you will be required ot go out of your way to find meetings. There are many that you would not consider otherwise, amd you would likely miss the one where you fit to your liking.

A requirement of AA for those who intend to make it is action on the steps. No action, no results. This applies to the drinking life, as well as the sober one. In other words thinking one's self sober works about as well as thinking one's self rich. To those above who have thought it out completely, start the action you know you need! I can tell you beyond a doubt life IS better today than yesterday, and seems to be getting "gooder and gooder" as one who frequents the coffee pot says.

Happy sobriety prayers for us all..........

Mark W. LMW007@aol.com


Member: Tricia McG
Location: New York City
Date: 9/24/2001
Time: 2:12:27 PM

Comments

I'm Tricia and I'm an alcoholic. First, what is f2f ??

Regarding the topic.

My sponsor told me to turn off my brain and follow my feet to a meeting.

If you think you have a problem, you probably do. Normal drinkers never spend a second questioning their drinking. Alcoholics on the other hand spend obsessive amounts of time looking at it, trying to control or contain it, or justifying it and our behavior. --Actually we do all of the above! I also over-think everything, including the need to make meetings regularly.

The first lie that my alcoholism tells me is that I don't need a meeting, and that I'll be fine. The reason that's a lie is because, before you know it, I miss one meeting, then I've gone a week without a meeting, then I've gone a month without a meeting ...still thinking that "I'm managing well" Next thing you know, I'm eleven years dry, acting like a self centered jerk --angry, judgemental, and isolated and I suddenly think it's ok to drink again...that I can handle it.

Bottom line. Don't think about it. Just DO IT. Get your butt to meeting. If you're still drinking today, don't worry about that. Go to a meeting ANYWAY. Don't make any decisions about what you're going to do about your drinking, whether or not your going to stop --JUST GO TO A MEETING. You don't have to talk to anybody (though it would help) You don't have to speak at all. All you need to do is show up. So JUST GO, already. I promise you someone there will have a welcoming smile, and you might be surprised that you'll feel right at home.

I'm grateful to have this on-line meeting. With the tragedy our city has faced, I've needed the extra contact with other alcoholics. It good to know we're not alone during such a horrific time.

Love to all.


Member: LeeEllen
Location: MI
Date: 9/24/2001
Time: 3:59:58 PM

Comments

Hi all - LeeEllen here and a grateful recovering alcoholic/addict. Thank you all for being here.

Tricia - f2f is "face-to-face" meetings.

F2F meetings are the true test of humility. When I called AA for help, they sent someone to meet me the next night for a meeting. I was scared, ashamed, full of remorse, sick & tired and all the other emotions we feel when we're beaten down. By going into that room, I admitted I had no more control. Quite a blow to my "ego."

But that first meeting made me see that I couldn't control myself, let alone my life, my drinking, etc. Humility is very important in getting sober -- we become aware of parts of ourselves that we hadn't paid attention to before.

On-line meetings are invaluable in maintaining sobriety, but a f2f makes us admit to ourselves and another human being(s) that we're alcoholic and our lives have become unmanageable.

Thanks for letting me share. Peace, Lee


Member: Pat R.
Location:
Date: 9/24/2001
Time: 6:24:42 PM

Comments

I too, have a lot of trouble trusting other women. I've never had a lot of women friends in my life, mainly because I USED my friends. I've been sober since Aug.26,2001 and during this time(which seems like forever)I've made some lasting relationships with the women in my f2f group. I think I always avoided these relationships before because I didn't want the other person to know how inferior I felt.PRIDE! Don't give up 5 minutes before the miracle !!


Member: Rick J
Location:
Date: 9/24/2001
Time: 7:33:36 PM

Comments

Hello , I am an alcoholic. Went to my first meeting 27 days ago, and it was a "test of humility," I finally asked for help, I could no longer control my drinking. I was at the end of my rope. I remember months before, I would look online for help, read the first few chapter of the Big book, I finally got enough courage to call and find a meeting, even "scoped" out the place. Did I go? No! Not me! I am not an alcoholic, I don't drink that much, Hey what is a few beers? etc, etc, etc....... No, it took a couple of more drunk nights to finally go. Woke up after a really bad night drinking (fighting with girlfriend, driving drunk,etc.etc) ..That is when I finally walked through the doors of AA. It was the greatest thing I have ever done. The meetings are "eye-openers." For me, staying sober is easy, Wondering why I stay sober, is (was) the hard part. I realized I cannot control my drinking. Anyhow, the second and third meetings were easy, but what is with the sponsor thing? Rick


Member: Connie K.
Location:
Date: 9/24/2001
Time: 9:06:35 PM

Comments

Hi,I'm Connie alcoholic....First itme I've been to this part fo the site..go to the coffee pot. I had trouble going to meetings for the first 11 yrs of the program, but I always ended up back out. I tried to do it myself..wrong...I have 69 days right now..and I've been to more meetings in the last 69 days than the last11 yrs. I guess I wasn't ready to truly surrender, but this last time I almost died of alcohol poisoning. I know I will always have another drunk in me, but I don't know if ther will be another recovery. I'm not taking any chances. I'm willing to do anything it takes to stay sober this time. I never had a sponsor, I never went to meetings, I never worked the steps. I didn't do any of the things I am now to stay sober. I felt the same way you did Amy, but this time I didn't get that feeling of being the outsider. I felt completely comfortable this time when I came back. Like I said, I hadn't truly surrendere Thanks for being here God Bless


Member: Dry in the Desert
Location: Nevada
Date: 9/24/2001
Time: 10:35:37 PM

Comments

Good Morning Everyone; My name is Walter and I am an alcoholic !!

Great topic….The Staying Cyber Group is truly a GodSend especially for those of us who are “loners”…(IE: folks who really are living in remote areas away from civilization…..my home group is about 200 miles away from my home, so naturally it is impossible for me to attend daily meeting, but I do make it on a weekly basis.) Staying Cyber is a wonderful connection for me…..however, IT IS NOT A SUBSTIUTE FOR FACE TO FACE MEETINGS…. especially for newcomers….you are missing the true spirit of AA if you are not going to meetings, getting a sponsor and talking to other alcoholics one-on-one….this is the basis of the program. The “meeting-after-the meeting” is most important. Cyber meetings, like phone calls, make it much too easy to hide feelings and self honesty…..get there and get involved…..if you feel out of place, remember that every single person in that room has gone through exactly what you are going through….

HAVE YOU HUGGED YOUR SPONSOR TODAY??


Member: Tammy
Location: Cally
Date: 9/24/2001
Time: 11:13:45 PM

Comments

Hi my name is Tammy Addict/Alcoholic

I am just having trouble with each and every day with thinking about using/drinking. I really don't want to but the thought just don't let my brain relax. When will these thoughts go away? I think that if I didn't have the thoughts my path to recovery won't be so difficult. Open for any suggestions.

Thanx for letting me share.


Member: Lessa
Location: Chicago
Date: 9/24/2001
Time: 11:45:31 PM

Comments

Hi, Lessa here, grateful recovering alcoholic. Good topic, Amy. Very good comments so far.

For this alcoholic, meetings were scary at first. They were about going in and humiliating yourself by admitting you were an alkie in public and telling strangers your worst secrets. I couldn't see at all how this would help me with a drinking problem. Well, for me, the drinking was just a start. My problems went deeper than the drinking. The problem was ME. The way I thought. The way I stuffed my feelings. The resentments I carried. The way I used alcohol to handle every major crisis.

Today? Well, the meetings represent freedom. To be me. To be able to unload without judgement (hey, alot of 'normies' pay analysts a ton of money to do this!!). It's about reaching out for help and learning to accept it. Its' about humility and getting rid of the self-centered person this drunk was and still will tend to be. It's about accepting me.

Can't say enough about them. Except sometimes it's still a struggle. Someone else mentioned the time to go is when you want to and when you don't. Well, tonight I didn't want to. I have a nasty sinus infection and our weather is in the low 40's. What did I do? I called a newcomer I met at Thursday's meeting and asked if she'd give a ride, as I was sick and didn't feel like driving.

My reward? I got to go to the meeting. And she thanked me when I got in. She was gonna skip the meeting, too. Amy, call AA. Ask to talk to another woman. And arrange to meet her there. It's like working out, you'll be more likely to go if you have a partner. Good luck. And get to some meetings. Everybo


Member: Joann
Location: Michigan
Date: 9/25/2001
Time: 12:59:18 AM

Comments

Joann/alcoholic, Wow, good topic and alot of good advice. (((Lenny))) At least you're heading in the right direction and posting on this site. My first meeting felt like I was driving down death row. I was scared to death. I had thoughts racing 300 miles a minute wondering what people would think or say and oh my gosh what the hell is happening to me. When I walked into my first meeting, people greated me like they knew me for years. Everybody was so nice and I went up to a lady and introduced myself, told her I was scared to death and she comforted me. After that, I was very relaxed. You don't have to talk at your first meeting or even your second meeting. You can just sit there and listen but at least get there. If you don't go you won't grow. A year and a half later, I have my home group and my regular meetings, but there are times when I jump to a meeting that I've never been to before and I don't know anyone there and you know what???...everybody still treats me like they've known me for years. Just try it, you might like it!!! (((Amy)))I can totally relate to your posting. I can't tell you how many times I've tried to blow off a meeting or I'm right in the middle of doing something and have to stop what I'm doing to goto a meeting. I drag myself there and at times have actually sat at a table and said "you know, I don't want to be here tonight" but when the meeting is over I feel so much better because I went and shared and listened. (((Tammy))) Don't think, don't drink, goto meetings. When you feel like that, pick up your 100 lb phone and call someone from AA or get to a meeting. It does get easier. The program works if you work it. Just take it one day at a time. For me personally, that was to overwhelming at first, I had to take it an hour at a time, a half hour at a time, sometimes 5 minutes at a time. Whatever works for you. Just take it slow. My prayers to everyone for a sober 24.


Member: Larry C
Location:
Date: 9/25/2001
Time: 1:02:58 AM

Comments

Hello everyone, My name is Larry. I am an alcoholic. I am truely sorry to be the one to have to tell you that just going to meetings is not the answer to your drinking woes. If only it was that easy. The program of recovery, as I understand it, is still found in a book with a blue cover that nobody likes to talk about on this site. It saved my life when nothing else could. Not even meetings hold the power that reading this book held because I couldn't bullshit myself or you when I was holding the truth about me. I found the truth and it set me free. P.S. I couldn't do ninety in ninety, so I went to at least one meeting every day. I did that for the first five years I was sober. I'm still sober a few one days at a time later. The only power that can keep you drunk is YOU. The Power's greater than yourself that can keep you sober are many. KISS


Member: Larry C
Location:
Date: 9/25/2001
Time: 1:02:59 AM

Comments

Hello everyone, My name is Larry. I am an alcoholic. I am truely sorry to be the one to have to tell you that just going to meetings is not the answer to your drinking woes. If only it was that easy. The program of recovery, as I understand it, is still found in a book with a blue cover that nobody likes to talk about on this site. It saved my life when nothing else could. Not even meetings hold the power that reading this book held because I couldn't bullshit myself or you when I was holding the truth about me. I found the truth and it set me free. P.S. I couldn't do ninety in ninety, so I went to at least one meeting every day. I did that for the first five years I was sober. I'm still sober a few one days at a time later. The only power that can keep you drunk is YOU. The Power's greater than yourself that can keep you sober are many. KISS


Member: Jenny F
Location: Chicago
Date: 9/25/2001
Time: 1:36:02 AM

Comments

This is why it is suggested that one do "90 in 90". The reason being that 1. going to meetings becomes a habit; 2. one forms relationships with fellow alcoholics and 3. in turn becomes accountable to others and 4. has a support system. Remember whatever we are lacking the group possesses. And sadly, we are lacking in much. Also, another pithy AA saying that is so true here is "we are only as sick as our secrets". Once one becomes an "insider" in the local AA chapter, after having attended "90 in 90", one becomes acccountable to others. If we feel like slacking off, people notice we are gone and ask where we were. If we look down people want to know what is wrong, etc. All of these things are SO important. AA IS A PROGRAM OF FELLOWSHIP. Without the fellowship, there is no program. These online "groups" are wonderful for the out moment when one simply can not attend a meeting. But, they surely are not a good replacement for meetings.

Take Care!

Jenny


Member: Jeff B
Location: Northern CA
Date: 9/25/2001
Time: 1:36:19 AM

Comments

My name is Jeff and I am an alcoholic.

When I was drinking I sometimes felt like an outsider but then I always had my old pal booze. Booze gave me the strength I sometimes did not have. Drinking was what I had in common - I loved it but it often turned on me. I would get too drunk - sometimes black out, sometimes fight or crash a car, sometimes sing or dance, I had no damn idea exactly what would happen once I started. I had a few great things did happen at first; but mostly I said things I should have never said and did things I should have never done. Toward the end of my last drinking years it was pretty scary.

These last years have been pretty amazing not drinking. I have been in 4 states VA, MD, MI, and CA. I have had the same job with the same company which is why I move. Most days I like the work.

I have been to lots of meetings. I have met lots of alcoholics who share many of the same experiences I have had. When I go to meetings I get to participate, and see, and experience this program. There really is something cool about watching a new person come in. Seeing hope and talking with them. Saying stuff like "you can make it" and "your doing good" because people said it to me. I try to remember names and say Hi - how's it going. We even talk about the steps and how they really do seem to work. I like seeing people look better and start talking about some kind of power greater than themselves. I like to see things get better. I also like to see how people make it through difficult times without drinking. I need meetings. I would not want to miss them.

Sometimes I have to force myself to go to meetings and to try to fit in. What I mean is I can get caught up in the material side or the "show" of some meetings and miss the spiritual. Someone told me that I am going to a meeting for me and maybe one other alcoholic who might need help of some kind or just to be listened to. I was told that I need to ask myself "What can I bring or do?" not "what can I get?". I have to remember that I am an alcoholic and that the other people there are too. If I don't like what someone says I try to imagine them when they were drunk. They seem much better sober. Anyway I ramble.. I found this site when I was in Virginia and newly sober it has been a very good place. Thanks to everyone for being here.


Member: Jack B
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Date: 9/25/2001
Time: 2:22:13 AM

Comments

Hi, I am Jack, a real alcoholic. Thru the Grace of God and the fellowship of A A, I have enjoyed over 13 years of continous sobriety. Even today there are meetings I steer clear of quite simply because I don't here the message of hope at some of them.I need to learn that even at these meetings if I listen for the message and not the messenger I can hear what I need to hear. Principles before personalities, usually is my hangup. I need to remember that at every meeting I can learn something from the fellowship some will show me what to do, others will show me what not to do. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless.


Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 9/25/2001
Time: 4:56:41 AM

Comments

Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome newcomers! Thanks for all the sincere shares!

Good topic, Amy! When I first started going to AA meetings, I was taught that I won't like all the meetings I attend, so check out as many different meetings as possible and find the ones you like.

This has worked for me. In other words, Amy, there is no RULE that you MUST like every meeting you attend. Of course, if you're choices are limited, then prayer and suggestions from an AA sponsor could help you resolve such a problem.


Member: MATT M.
Location: Delaware
Date: 9/25/2001
Time: 8:36:05 AM

Comments

Hi folks.Matt here,alcoholic.The only times I resisted going to meetings was when I didn't really want to get sober.Now I realize that I don't want to die so I read the big book,work the steps and go to at least 14 meetings a week(I'm a newcomer).When you become desperate enough you'll forget about the personalities at f2f meetings & you'll thank your God thatyou have somewhere to go.I lost my wife , my house,my job,my car & my self respect & still wouldn't go.I'm a stubborn bastard.I had to go through a week of delerium tremens and heroin withdrawal together before I admitted defeat & crawled through the doors of A.A.It saved my life & I pray you'll let it save yours.But then,maybe you're not really an alcoholic. Love,Matt M.


Member: Von
Location: Ohio
Date: 9/25/2001
Time: 1:42:56 PM

Comments

When I was ready to quit, I didn't care what meeting I went to. Like Matt above, I was done drinking and desperate enough to do whatever I had to do to get sober.

I spoke to a person this morning who told me she would do whatever she had to do to get sober. Her doctor has given her two years to live if she continues drinking. I suggested that the first thing was to start going to meetings. She said she didn't want to go to any meetings where there were any "street people", she also didn't want to go to any meetings where there were "snobbish" people, she didn't want to go to any meetings that conflicted with her work schedule at the bar, she didn't want to go to more than 2 meetings a week, she didn't want to go to any meetings before 10 a.m., ad nauseum....

I told her that when she was ready to get sober, to give me a call.

Another important point someone made earlier. Meetings alone will not keep you sober. The program of AA as outlined in the big book called "Alcoholics Anonymous" is designed to help you handle life sober. Meetings will help you maintain your desire to stay sober.

If you're still drinking, AA will not stop you drinking. But if you've stopped drinking, I promise that if you follow some simple suggestions, you will learn how to live your life sober.

Either you're done drinking or you're not. I'll keep you in my prayers.


Member: Daniel C
Location: NB Canada
Date: 9/25/2001
Time: 2:11:17 PM

Comments

Amy, I think most alkies struggle with if the belong when they first come around. I have a disease that tells me I'm different. It was suggested very strongly to me when I was new that all I need to do is.....don't think...don't drink...and go to meetings. If you don't like that mneeting go to another one. I discovered early that instead of sitting around thinking (or plotting) I should just get into the actions, like suit up and show up.


Member: Bob W
Location: Kentucky
Date: 9/25/2001
Time: 7:13:47 PM

Comments

Hi Amy,

What comes to mind is don't think too hard and just take the right actions. I know from personal experience that when I think too much I will have problems. I'm sober 13 years and sometimes I feel I don't belong - duhhhhh! I learned in AA that God wants me to be happy joyous and free. I get that way by acting and not thinking. My best time in the program came in my early months when I just did what others suggested.

As for suggestions, I recommend that you find a home group where you feel comfortable and get to know people. As you develop relationships you should get to the point that you want to see the people at the meeting and you become motivated to attend.

Hope this helps.


Member: Phyllis DOS 5/25/80
Location: Tennessee/LA Transplant
Date: 9/25/2001
Time: 7:20:25 PM

Comments

Hi everyone, Phyllis, Alcoholic

This is a great topic. There is alot of good advise that I have read here and all of it is true. The only way I made it is by hitting a bottom I couldn't come back from drinking. It wasn't a matter of finding the right meeting or the right sponsor or being uncomfortable around people or relating, etc etc. It was simply a matter of staying alive and trying not to go crazy. If they had told me at my first meeting that the only requirement for membership was standing on my head in the corner and not speaking for 21 years you would find me in a corner standing on my head with my mouth shut. I was real close to being a wet brain (alcoholic dementia) when I got sober and I was literally too crazy to be scared. It took five years for me to be employable. I am living away from the people I got sober with in S. Calif and it is cometime impossible for me to relate to people where I live but AA is a part of me and a part of my life today that no one can touch. The steps, the book, the people, the love, the support and the fellowship all go hand in hand to make living worth while today and there is nothing on earth that I would trade for it.

Maureen Anne - When you talked about your alcoholic husband it reminded me of spending my first 6 years with a practicing alcoholic husband. Thank God for a sponsor that gave it to me straight. We have to be willing to go to any length for our sobriety or we will loose it and anytime I put something or someone between me and my sobriety I am in trouble. That is just as true today as it was then.

"If you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it then you are ready to take certain steps"

God bless Hugs Phyllis


Member: Sis B.
Location: California
Date: 9/25/2001
Time: 10:19:06 PM

Comments

Hi everyone, Sis, alcoholic, sobriety date is June 15, 1990. Funny how I hear what I need to if I just show up. Also been feeling like I don't fit in (again), my problems are unique, you know. Still have a hard time trusting, reaching out, being "me" and not what I think "you" want me to be. Have been having a hard time trust in a higher power lately. Depressed, isolating...


Member: Mark W.
Location: St. Louis
Date: 9/25/2001
Time: 10:27:49 PM

Comments

Sis, You're letting stinking thinking get to you. I spent years doing that. You know of course that you've let yourself get into a mode that if allowed to continue will lead to that first drink. Meetings, meetings, meetings...

A newcomer's meeting would help me at such a time, as I would see up real close and personal the pain the newcomers are attempting to put behind them, which would remond me only too much of how it was for me.

I sincerely hope you get what you need before you resort to what you know you so not need.

Mark W. LMW007@aol.com


Member: LadyHawk
Location: California
Date: 9/25/2001
Time: 11:17:14 PM

Comments

Hi my name is LadyHawk and I am an addict alcoholic sobriety date is 3-17-90 I am very grateful for today another day sober.I don't attend as many meetings as I did when I first came to the program. When I first came to the program I went to 2 to 3 meetings a day. I put alot of energy into using and drinking and knew I needed to put as much into being sober. I attend AA meetings. When I first came to meetings I did not like anyone sat by myself and made it know I did not want you around me In other words I did not come here feeling warm and wonderful. I cringed when I heard the word God. But I was sick and tired. I was hopeless.I just wanted to not drink not use.There were some oldtimers who I did not want anything they had. They sounded miserable. But see that was where my attention lied. Finally I started hearing recovery. My mind became open. I was told I didn't have to believe in any one else's higher power. I could let mine grow up and become friends. I had to learn to like me to love me before I could love you. The winners in the program gave me the space I needed to grow. SO I could learn who I was. I am so grateful to the fellowship of AA. I live today I don't just survive Thank you


Member: Susann P.
Location: North Carolina
Date: 9/25/2001
Time: 11:33:58 PM

Comments

Hmm...meetings and staying sober... Susann here, alcoholic. I have never been as frightened as I was going into my first meeting. My boss had strongly recommended that I check out AA--she thought I might have a problem with alcohol. I did drink a lot, but always thought of it as "partying." Didn't know anything about the program except that you had a sponsor and that drunken street people went there. I didn't know anyone who was in AA, and was concerned about the sponsoring part--thought it worked like a club, and I had to be sponsored by a member. I fully expected to be turned away at the door, and I had a deep-down feeling that I really needed whatever it was that they had. I figured if they did let me in, they'd teach me how to drink like other people did. They'd give me a couple of books to read, and I'd have to write a paper or take an exam. Instead I was welcomed warmly by everyone at the meeting (all but two were men), saw these amazing signs on the walls with sayings like "Live and Let Live" and "Take it Easy." I heard the members saying that the only requirement for membership was a desire to stop drinking, and I heard them relate experiences that made me realize I wasn't so very different. They'd had thoughts just like mine! At the end of the meeting, a young man asked if I had a Big Book (I didn't even know what the BB was). He gave me one and told me I could pay for it when I was able to. I felt as though I'd come home! But as wonderful as that first experience was, I started finding "differences" between myself and other members of AA. First I wanted a meeting with more women, but the Womens' meeting was too middle-aged and religious for me, then I objected to the venues where some of the meeetings were held. The woman I asked to sponsor me declined, and since my feelings were hurt, I didn't ask anyone else. Before long, I'd stopped attending meetings, and a bit later, I began to drink again. Five years and thousands of drinks later, I come back to AA. I decide to sponsor myself this time, since I don't want to bother anybody else. (Sound familiar?) Got through steps one and two, but three tripped me up. I saw a light in the eyes of AA's in recovery, and felt sorry for myself--I couldn't believe in God like they did, so I knew I'd never really get this program. It's a good thing I didn't have to write a paper for AA, I'd have flunked for sure. I didn't even read the steps correctly! The steps only mention "a power greater than ourselves" and "God as we understand him." I was stuck in self-pity, and, needless to say, another long alcoholic interlude transpired. I have nearly five years now, and my life is good. There's an inner peace I could never even have imagined. I'm still judgemental sometimes, and still say catty things, and get to feeling sorry for myself, but it's increasingly rare. I'm a wonderful imperfect human being! I have really and truly found that my sponsor is right--when I need help, the best thing I can do is go try to help somebody else. Keep coming back...it works if you work it!


Member: Al
Location: S,W. Florida
Date: 9/26/2001
Time: 12:12:34 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Al an alcoholic. Sis, if this depression is something you just can't shake no matter what you do, speak to a professional about it. I've had that dark cloud hanging over me and no matter what I did or thought I couldn't shake that gloomy mood until it passed. I'm not saying you have depression or anything but you certainly described some classic symptoms. If we let ourselves stay in that condition for too long we will look to self-medicate, just to simply feel better. Only YOU can set this into action. I can empathise, I've been there. Leesa, very good post. Thanks for sharing that. Love to All, Al


Member: Dan Smith
Location: North Florida
Date: 9/26/2001
Time: 8:15:41 AM

Comments

Hi, Dan Smith yet again, Larry as to talking about the blue book as you like to call it, thanks. But i personally can see hundreds of references of the spiritual tools in that book being shared every time i visit this site. the other thing i wanted to say, and i have not heard here yet, is this. there are 36 spiritual principle's in this program. the 12 steps, the 12 traditions, and the 12 concepts for world service. these are all the spiritual tools that have kept me sober for six years as of today, thanks for listening to my self centered rhetoric. God Bless us one and all. You all have a good day unless you've already made other plans. ps. my sponsor gave me this little affirmation note at about 18 months sobriety that helped me alot. Good morning Dan, this is God. I will be handling all of your problems today and I don't need any of your help. live, love, and enjoy life I will take care of the rest,love God. gentlebrother@hotmail.com


Member: Mark D
Location: NH
Date: 9/26/2001
Time: 8:16:14 AM

Comments

To Sis- After a few false starts I had 9 months under my belt and then I went out. Struggled again for another month or so and now back in my program. The difference for me was-I was different. I needed therapy, so I got it. Not like I'm fixed now by any means, but I think I'm on firmer ground to follow my program now.

I've had low self esteem way before I ever touched alcohol. Much of my thinking patterns have this really self destructive element built in to it. There are sections I've found in the BB and 12 steps that relate to low self esteem, but it just scratches the surface. Ultimately the books are correct; we (alcoholics) are all the same; in a broader sense. I just needed to do some digging to get up to the base line where I could connect with the program better. I suppose I could have just struggled along without therapy and hope for the best. That road would have led to drinking and very soon after, losing my family and job. Then I could either have a true gift of desperation and get back with the program or I could drink myself to death. I'll stick with the therapy.

Hang in there, Sis.


Member: Craig L
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: 9/26/2001
Time: 11:03:07 AM

Comments

While I was drinking I regularly made the promise that I would stop on such and such a day, or when some other condition was met. Of course the proper situation never materialized. Then I was finally battered enough by my drinking, that I finally went to AA meetings. At every meeting and while reading the big book, I looked for the differences. I decided I had nothing in common with those drunks/addicts. After a few more months of the living hell in active alcoholism and a visit to detox, I found a lot more humility. I stopped struggling and truly entered into Step 1. Every day I ask God to show me throughout the day, what Gods will is for me, so I know the meeting I go to is where I should be. Either I need to hear something, which will make me more useful to others, or I may share something that will help someone there. I don’t do this perfectly. Sometimes I still judge others and make decisions based on self, but I know these decisions are moving me back into a place where the world becomes so intolerable that I will drink again and so I continue to practice the steps and aim for progress. There are very few “pure” alcoholics. Even Bill W abused sedatives (page 22) as well as Bob S. (Dr. Bobs Nightmare). My sobriety must be unconditional. Get to those meetings and think “what can I bring to this”, even with less than 24 hours, you remind the rest of us what it is like and you help us, by letting us help you. There is a solution, but I must do the footwork, which means working the steps, talking to other alcoholics and most importantly keeping an open mind. Take Care


Member: Bonnie
Location: North Carolina
Date: 9/26/2001
Time: 1:06:24 PM

Comments

Hello everyone. I'm Bonnie, an alcoholic. This is my first time chatting on the web about alcoholism. Wow, another first for this 43 year old! I like the topic. For me, I'm celebrating my 90 days tomorrow, and thoroughly looking forward to it. I tried going into the rooms on and off for 4 years. It took a suicide attempt to make me realize just how bad off I was. The meetings have become so important to me. I have done more than 90 meetings in 90 days. I have found that I just don't feel right if I miss one. I start having that "stinking thinking". I'm a rather shy person, so I don't speak much at meetings unless I feel that I really have something to say. Opening up to others about my feelins has never been an easy task for me. There's one guy who chairs one meeting a week, an "As Bill Sees It" meeting, and he picks people out of the group to read and discuss what they've read. At first I was very uncomfortable with this, as he always picked on me to read. But, I've begun to open up more, and I realize that he wants me to participate and not feel like I don't belong. I have never had any problem talking with men, but women I have had trouble trusting. All I can say to Amy is keep going to meetings. Just get up, away from that computer, and go to a meeting to share with other people just like you. If nothing else, just sit and listen to what they have to say. You'll be surprised to learn how much you have in common with them. Find out where there's a speaker meeting. What Jenny said about 90 meetings in 90 days is exactly correct. People know when I've missed a meeting, they want to know right away if I'm okay. At first that irritated me, but now I'm used to it. I make up for one day by attending 2 the next. Give it a try. Keep going back, it works if you work it!


Member: Rich R, slowly recovering compulsive person :-)
Location: Detroit richr_srcp@hotmail.com
Date: 9/26/2001
Time: 1:26:38 PM

Comments

Amy, I probably do NOT have the answer to your problem, but I have never let that stop me from posting! This is kind of twisted, but please try to follow me. I heard recently that if you LIKE everyone in AA meetings then you probably have NOT been to enough AA meetings yet! (I love AA truth/humor, it's twisted, like me). I would just turn this around and try to apply it to you, i.e. if you DON'T like any AA meetings then you probably haven't been to enough of them yet.

At my first face-to-face meeting (12/12/90) someone suggested that I try to go to 60 meetings in 60 days. I have never heard 60 days again in 10 years of meetings, it is usually 90 meetings in 90 days, but maybe I didn't look like I could make it to 90, so they lowered my sentence. Even 60 meetings I thought was dumb because I didn't drink every day so what the heck would I need an AA meeting every day for? But, at the end of 90 days I counted up my meetings and I had been to 91! Why? Because I seem to hear something at every meeting I went to that I needed to hear for that day.

Another benefit of going to so many meetings, besides learning a lot and staying sober, was that I discovered some really great meetings for me, both time and location as well as the people who attended. So, when it came time for me to cut back from daily meetings to meetings every other day, which I have kept up for 10 years now, I picked the ones that I really liked/got the most out of.

So, in summary I would suggest that you try going to many different meetings before you make up your mind that AA f2f meetings are not for you. Thanks for the topic, it makes me appreciated the great meetings that I have found and continue to support.


Member: Bonnie
Location: NC
Date: 9/26/2001
Time: 3:07:06 PM

Comments

Bonnie here again, still an alcoholic.

Amy, I have been thinking about what your brought up as a topic and wanted to share this with you. I don't know you from Adam, so I may be totally off base here. I apologize now if I am.

Perhaps you are not getting out much at all, not just to meetings, but for anything. This was a problem I had a few years ago myself. I would go to work everyday, and at 5:15 when I got home I would log on to my computer and sat on ICQ until I couldn't keep my eyes open, or I was just too damned drunk to type anymore. On weekends it was worse, an all day thing. I couldn't bear to drag myself away from my computer to even take a shower to go to the grocery store! Sounds pathetic, I know, but it's the truth. I ended up becoming very depressed, so I went to my doctor who prescribed anti-depressant medication. Of course, as any other alcoholic would do, I never told him that I drank. Drinking on top of the medication only enhanced my unhappiness.

We as alcoholics are prone to be easily addicted to anything, not just alcohol. Some addictions may not be so bad. In my 89 days of sobriety, I have learned to drink alot of coffee in place of alcohol. I have also fallen in love with Hershey's Nuggets with toffee and almonds. They say that when we drink, alcohol breaks down into sugar in our bodies, so that when we quit drinking the craving for sugar is very strong.

If this sounds like something you might be experiencing, then my advice to you is to get away from your desk, your computer, your laptop, whatever, and get out of the house/office! I no longer have a computer at home. I spend my evenings at meetings, and at the coffee house with my fellow AA friends. It's a wonderful world out there, don't let it pass you by. Get to know other alcoholics, and in time, you'll get to know and love yourself.

If this is NOT you, then again, I apologize.

Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Kim D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: 9/26/2001
Time: 3:54:57 PM

Comments

Ahhh, I can relate to this topic. Thank you, Amy. You are not alone in your difficulty.

I have heard it said that, "If you don't feel a part of... you probably aren't." I take that as saying that it is my responsibility to get active with my group, go on commitments, get a job in the group if possible and do my share.

However, my enthusiasm for my recover and being an active member of AA comes and goes. I do know, however, that I feel better when I am active with my group. My phone rings a lot more... I have outings to look forward to... and I have a brighter outlook on life.

I just joined a new group after almost 2 years because of work schedule conflicts and I know it won't be easy getting used to new people and ways of doing things. However, I DO KNOW that I have less chance of falling off the wagon if I am in the middle of it, than sitting around the edges of it. I am tired today and would love to go home and hang with my boyfriend and children. However, that will not keep me sober. I need a group of drunks to be around and I must do my part - by AT LEAST showing up - to keep the hand of AA out to the newcomer because it was there for me.

Amy... just keep coming. It get's better. Easy does it - but do it!

That's my 2 cents. Thanks for listening.


Member: Kim D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: 9/26/2001
Time: 3:55:21 PM

Comments

Ahhh, I can relate to this topic. Thank you, Amy. You are not alone in your difficulty.

I have heard it said that, "If you don't feel a part of... you probably aren't." I take that as saying that it is my responsibility to get active with my group, go on commitments, get a job in the group if possible and do my share.

However, my enthusiasm for my recover and being an active member of AA comes and goes. I do know, however, that I feel better when I am active with my group. My phone rings a lot more... I have outings to look forward to... and I have a brighter outlook on life.

I just joined a new group after almost 2 years because of work schedule conflicts and I know it won't be easy getting used to new people and ways of doing things. However, I DO KNOW that I have less chance of falling off the wagon if I am in the middle of it, than sitting around the edges of it. I am tired today and would love to go home and hang with my boyfriend and children. However, that will not keep me sober. I need a group of drunks to be around and I must do my part - by AT LEAST showing up - to keep the hand of AA out to the newcomer because it was there for me.

Amy... just keep coming. It get's better. Easy does it - but do it!

That's my 2 cents. Thanks for listening.


Member: Daniel C
Location: NB Canada
Date: 9/26/2001
Time: 4:27:02 PM

Comments

Hi Amy, My names Daniel and I'm an alcoholic. It helps when we can find a meeting that we can identify with others. If we can't identify we can't find recovery because we can use that age old excuse that "I'm different". As far as you saying you can't force yourself to go to meetings I always found I needed to replace the words "I can't" with I won't....lol....this is always the case with me. Wishing, praying and thinking about it will not get me there only action will...get up and put one foot in front of the other.

Trudge on Daniel


Member: Sandy B
Location: cool colorful Colorado
Date: 9/26/2001
Time: 6:26:18 PM

Comments

Sandy, here, alky-addict. Agree with the advice to call AA and ask for someone of YOUR gender to call you back!

Where I got sober they told me if I didn't like that meeting to find another -- there were 3,000 per week in that city to choose from! I have heard many people say that when they stopped going to meetings, they eventually drank again. I have never heard anyone say that going to too many meetings made them drink :)

My outpatient counselor sent me to my first meeting. He "made" me read the BB first and, being the dutiful student, I did! The book hooked me -- it actually made me WANT to go to the meeting he sent me to!

But, what a disappointment! They went around the room and everyone introduced themselves & said they were alcoholics. When it got to me, I said, "I'm Sandy, and I don't know if I'm an alcoholic or not." It was the truth, but I felt all these VIBES -- then after the meeting all these women came up to me and wanted to give their PHONE NUMBERS! Like I would ever CALL them, right?!

When I went back to my outpatient counselor the next week I asked him to send me to a "better" meeting -- and he did! Turned out it was HIS old home group (but I didn't find that out right away)! Way out of my way & hard to find, but when I got to that room, I swear I met people I already knew. I felt that instant kinship, friendly welcome, the encouragement. Freedom One, Billings Hospital -- It was my home group my first 2+ years, and I have never been to another meeting like it since! Thank you Earl C, Carla, Roosevelt, Charley P, Wally, Dwight, Eleanor, Miss Love, and all the rest whose faces I can still see but whose names I can't remember right now!

Thanks for letting me share -- remember, AA is for all people who NEED it, but they also have to WANT it! Good luck to all newcomers & Keep Coming Back!


Member: Michele
Location: Indiana
Date: 9/26/2001
Time: 6:54:00 PM

Comments

Hi there, Michele here, AN ALCOHOLIC You need to make meetings no matter what!!! Staying sober must be the most important thing in your life. You should force yourself to amke it to meetings and become a member of the AA community. Even if you feel like an outsider in a few of the meetings, stay. You have to remember that you are already a member of a sick community of addicts and alcoholics, and will remain sick if you don't attend. I know it is hard to face people and spill all of thise dark secrets, but you need to if you want to stop drinking for good. PLEASE keep trying Amy, you are worth the time and energy!!!!!!


Member: Dan H.     Diggarelli14@hotmail.com
Location: Henderson/LV,NV
Date: 9/26/2001
Time: 8:29:35 PM

Comments

Hi my name is Dan and I'm an alcoholic who's very grateful to be in recovery today. This is a daily reprieve dependant upon my spiritual condition, it's important for me to remember that because my head wants to either dwell on the past or look towards the future. Thanks to my higher power who I call god I've lived in the present today. When I first came to AA, I agreed to go to any lengths for sobriety, as it says in the Big Book. Face to face meetings are a very big part of my life today but an even bigger part of my life are the 12 steps. I choose to live in the solution today; trust god, clean house and help others. Thats where the real FREEDOM FROM MYSELF comes from! I had to want this thing 100% and willing to change every aspect of my life in favor of a new experience. I have to be H.onest O.pen minded and W.illing in order for this thing to work, and it does work! This is my experience, God Bless all.


Member: dan
Location: chicago, il
Date: 9/26/2001
Time: 9:36:36 PM

Comments

Hi- I'm Dan and I'm an alcoholic and stuff. I've been dry & clean since January, and am an agnostic. I know all the cliches- pray to your coffe cup and all that, but I don't believe the religious part. I'm ok with that and comfortable with my beliefs. I have a philosophy which supports the steps and allows my beliefs. My question is, I've learned to keep my feelings to myself as it causes some uncomfortable situations or worse, makes me a target to be "saved". I hope to find a sponsor, but have found nobody I could relate to at meetings based on my beliefs. Has anyone else been through this, and how did you deal with it? Feel free to email me at dankdan@email.com. Thanks, dan


Member: Bella D.
Location: SE Florida
Date: 9/26/2001
Time: 10:50:52 PM

Comments

bella-alcoholic&addict-hi! grateful to be alive&sober...13 mo's ago i was in a detox center wearing mens pajama bottoms and an old lame looking tshirt that the folks in detox gave me....severe withdrawal, severe depression, utter hopelessness, helplessness and shame...and that was not my first time around...the disease is so POWERFUL and ran me ragged for many years, and will never stop until i am physical or brain dead or worse... this is what i learned...basically i am a self-centered egomaniac with an inferiority complex who doesn't know how to deal with reality or feelings, especially the painful ones...overly sensitive, artistic, never fit in, totally and completely undisciplined, lazy, slothful and looking for the easier softer way. TODAY, this is what i do wake up, ask HP for sobriety, read my meditation books, go to work (or do something productive), call my sponsor, go to a meeting, thank HP for sobriety and go to bed. funny thing i'm happier than ever because i did those things..it sounds so difficult and boring but every little action i take (not reaction) keeps me out of the whirling committee in my brain and that's a good peaceful thing. i bid you all goodnight and wish you all discipline--it leads to freedom and keep on rocking in the free world!


Member: JCP
Location: Penn's Woods
Date: 9/26/2001
Time: 10:59:55 PM

Comments

"We have begun to regard the troublesome ones not as menaces, but rather as our teachers. They oblige us to cultivate patience, tolerance and humility."--As Bill Sees It, p. 28

Hi, group, J here, a grateful alcoholic. Let me admit up front that I practically never use the expression "f2f" for a meeting. For lead meetings seems it would have to be "f2boh" ("face to back of heads") or something like that. But that's not the point, a meeting's a meeting--and for me nothing takes its place.

I never have forgotten my first meeting --seven years of daily drinking, coming off a weekend of blackouts, plus a Memorial Day holiday. I had to work Tuesday morning at 6, and didn't believe from long experience that I could get any sleep Monday night without "a couple" at the Boardwalk Bar--not the real Boardwalk, just a neighborhood saloon en route home from that meeting I had got myself into.

Some guys cornered me at a back table, with slogans I would recognize later--I didn't know then what they were talking about.

They gave me a goal, the written down address of a Tuesday evening meeting--the challenge was to get there without a drink. That's 9,620 one-day-at-a-times ago, according to my A.A. kitsch sobriety calc. Try it, if you want: http://www.aahistory.com/days.html

I wasn't there to like people. Nobody was fawning over me, either. The difference between that weekend and a hundred before it was that I had taken the opportunity at a going-away party for a friend who was leaving town to get a job, a new life--I told him what was wrong with him. Actually, I remember him as a nice guy. Beats me what I actually said.

I made a meeting today in the room where I incredibly made that Tuesday evening meeting long ago--after the first day without a drink. We're not all nice, that's for sure--but it seems a fair estimate that without A.A. I wouldn't be anywhere tonight. And if the requirement had been likability, I would have been out the door on my butt.

Have to admit I went through phases where a lot of people irked me in A.A. I'm sure they could have lived without me too. Some of them I never have known anywhere else but I still like to see--and some I can do with out even now. One of them led today

But if you have a drinking problem, my suggestion is go for whatever-the-hell it takes to get through tomorrow without a drink. Then make a meeting. (f2f or a2a, I don't care.)

The key is none of us but there is Higher Power, you know. So try not to prejudge--makes it a lot easier when you need to eat crow.

Meanwhile, for one more day, I'll take sobriety any way I can get it,

Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Rachel K
Location: Hawaii
Date: 9/27/2001
Time: 12:49:00 AM

Comments

Hi- I'm Rachel, Alcoholic, Fear was my greatest threat from going to meetings. I was afraid that I'm going to be found out again. I had to reach a crisis before that motivated me to get off my but & run to a meeting. Once I got there I felt a sense of relief. I ask God on a daily basis to give me stength to stay sober. I'm a returnee 101 days, I have a sponsor, I go to meetings 4x's a week & I began working the steps on Sunday with my sponsor. I'm not one to do pain very well, I believe if I stay plugged into AA I will receive the blessings. I've been told in AA Don't Leave 5 minutes before the miracle. I also do the 3rd step prayer everynight. Thanks Rachel


Member: jerry g
Location: portland, me
Date: 9/27/2001
Time: 12:50:49 AM

Comments

Hi Folks,

my name is Jerry and I'm an alcoholic. This is my 1st time in an on-line meeting and I really don't understand the protocal, but I can say that I can identify with most of you and what you are saying. The issue that I have been having lately in sponsorship. I had the same sponsor for over a year and then decided that I wanted to switch home groups and thought it would be best to get one in my new group. I did that and things have mostly been going well. I'm glad that I'm doing the steps over again cause I know how much this is an ongoing process. However, like many alcoholics I have anxiety disorder and my new sponsor has told me that I need to get off the the meds I am taking in order to have "good sobriety"! Am I doing something wrong by doing what my doctor has said. If it is infact all about a drink, then why should it matter what meds I am taking if I am not abusing them? I'm sorry to bring up "other issues", but it is relavent to this program. I hope someone has some answers! Thanks,- Jerry G.


Member: Grant C
Location: Alberta
Date: 9/27/2001
Time: 1:05:52 AM

Comments

Hi everyone, Im an Alcoholic and my first posting. Been coming here for about 7 months. Thanks to all that have posted as its go me through a few difficult times. As for meatings I'm from a small town where meatings are far between. I have the problem of no aninimity. Small town.I travel once a week about 50 mi one way to where I feel comfortable, but its worth it. I have got 24 months and 16 days and about 20 hours. Can remember my last but its still day by day, but my meatings and here have been a god send. Thanks to all that have posted, love to you all.


Member: Connie
Location: Northern California
Date: 9/27/2001
Time: 2:28:41 AM

Comments

The more often you show up at the same meetings, the more you'll feel (and be) a part of things. I suggest you find a meeting you feel good about and go consistently, whether you feel like it or not. I never saw the point of the advice to attend "90 meetings in 90 days" until I tried it. What happened? People got to know me and began to expect to see me there. And I got to know more about them, and got to feel connected to them. Now if I don't go to meetings for a few days, I miss my friends.


Member: Miranda C
Location: Vermont, USA
Date: 9/27/2001
Time: 7:04:42 AM

Comments

Miranda - alcoholic

Jerry G: Is your new sponsor a doctor? If not, why are you listening to his opinion about medication? It sounds pretty irresponsible to be giving medical advice without a license.

Dan from Chicago: I have had the some of the same feelings. It is hard to accept someone else's conception of God and to tell the truth I don't want to, especially when I am told (smugly) that I'll come around to their way of thinking eventually (doubt it!) and if I don't I am sure to fail.

still sober, still listening

Miranda


Member: bella
Location:
Date: 9/27/2001
Time: 7:39:48 AM

Comments

jerry--the meds i take allow me to enjoy my recovery..none of them are addictive and all are indicated and prescribed by a psych. (in AA) if, "the problem centers in my mind," then my mind must be clear and able to be a channel for all of the goodstuff/godstuff i hear in aa that keeps me sober 1 day at a time.. love, bella


Member: Mike M
Location: Ohio
Date: 9/27/2001
Time: 8:28:33 AM

Comments

To Jerry: If your sponsor is not licensed to practice medicine, it is irresponsible, and arguably illegal and immoral, for him to give you advice on medication. If your doctor had prescribed medication to keep you from having a heart attack, would you let your sponsor talk you out of taking the pills? Think of your mental health no differently. I take more than one psychiatric medication, and my sobriety is stronger for it. My sponsor takes a little too. The conference-approved AA literature is very explicit on this: listen to the qualified doctor; no AA "plays doc".


Member: Mark D
Location: NH
Date: 9/27/2001
Time: 2:10:32 PM

Comments

I realize that my last posting was in response to an individual rather than the actual topic at hand so I thought I'd double dip.

This is my input regarding Face to face meetings. ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

I have gone to meetings where I; have wanted to share but felt uncomfortable about changing the focus of discussion have shared, and felt like I was from another planet afterwards. shared and have people reply that they had never looked at______ that way, and were blown away. was full of self pity and then had someone put my world back in proper perspective. been totally turned off by those speaking, (usually drunkalouges that "get off" on the good ol' days. been totally turned off by those speaking and went out and drank after, (earlier in sobriety) kept my mouth shut and wound up kicking myself about it after. felt like I had been at a party where I didn't know anyone. heard ONE thing that totally changed my thinking. listened too hard for that ONE thing I thought that I needed to hear and probably missed a bunch of others went in with something to share, did, and after wondered why I felt that I needed to share THAT. went, came home, couldn't really say anything profound had gone on but just felt good, having gone.

There are 2 meetings I go to weekly, another 2 or 3 that I'll attend once or twice a month and some random meetings in different towns. That's a pretty mixed bag of results for essentially dealing with the same people on a regular basis.


Member: Tony C
Location: Michigan
Date: 9/27/2001
Time: 2:36:31 PM

Comments

Hey Jerry, It took the meds to put me in the right frame of mind to realize I was an alcoholic. Right on the side of the bottle it says, "No Alcohol" and that, my friend, opened my eyes. After abstaining for the sake of my medication, I am feeling great! No booze and the social anxiety is subsiding. The booze is gone for good but I believe the Paxil is here to stay.


Member: sis B
Location: california
Date: 9/27/2001
Time: 3:44:55 PM

Comments

Hi to all again, Sis, alcoholic. There was an old gal in a meeting who used to always begin her shares by saying, "I am an alcoholic and I will be an alcoholic all the days of my life." Ditto for me. I am learning that AA is so much more for me than "not drinking" although not drinking is "highly recommended." I appreciate all the responses to my confession of depression. I love that I can talk about these things with other AA's and know that someone will have been there, or done that. I don't know about anyone else, but I have to hear the message on a regular basis or my old thinking catches up with me real quick. I am not cured. I agree with the few others who state that we in AA are not qualified to give medical advice. I would never tell another to stop taking his meds. I am not a doctor. I am here to share my experience, strength and hope with the alcoholic who still suffers. Sometimes that alcoholic is me, and I get strength from the group. To address the agnostic (Jerry?) I have not experienced your situation myself, but I know others have. Keep searching. Thanks, Sis


Member: jerry g
Location: portland
Date: 9/27/2001
Time: 5:42:04 PM

Comments

jerry - alcoholic

thanks to everyone that responded to my post! I have had all of those thoughts, but I always second guess myself. I do listen to my doctor first and I'll just have to tell my sponsor that. I really love being sober and realize that I shouldn't feel bad that I have to take meds too! Thanks all!


Member: Matt M.
Location: delaware
Date: 9/27/2001
Time: 7:03:17 PM

Comments

Hello all.Matt here,alcoholic by nature;sober through the grace of MY god and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.I go to many different types of meetings(e.g. step.big book,beginners,young peoples,NA,etc.)and usually find something of value in every one of them.I try to remember that it's no easier for anyone else to share their feelings than it is for me:it takes balls to open my soul to another person.Everyone has something that might help me at some particular time in my life if i just open my ears and my heart to their message.If you have trouble "fitting in" just remember,you earned that seat simply by being an alcoholic;it is YOUR meeting as much as anyone elses.In the final analysis it's my life & my sobriety that i'm holding onto (some days by a thread)so why worry about what a roomful of alcoholics & addicts think about me anyway?KEEP COMING BACK!IT WORKS IF YOU WORK IT & IT'LL SAVE YOUR LIFE IF YOU WANT IT BADLY ENOUGH! Love, Matt M.


Member: Bob
Location: Kingston, Ontario, Canada
Date: 9/27/2001
Time: 11:38:50 PM

Comments

Hi my name is Bob an alcoholic help someone

I have been sober for 3 days first time in years

can somebody do it without going to meetings I am pretty determine to quit I have downloaded the BB and other documents I have known for a while that I have this addition to alcohol

Is there a place on the net where someone could chat or join a meeting on line

thanks


Member: cle
Location: az
Date: 9/28/2001
Time: 12:03:07 AM

Comments

Chris-alcoholic I just wanted to say how greatful i am that i have found all of you,i have a real hard time because i am not moble right now due to a liver illness due to drinking.I lost my sponser from aides and it's been hard ever since,i am just full of gratitude that i have a new family in all of YOU.I have been sober for 3yrs and my sponser use to say Never Give up,besides we owe the people we hurt at the least to stay sober,don't you think.My web address is cebarra@hotmail.com..........hope to hear from you soon. chris


Member: Dennis O'M
Location: New Jersey, United States
Date: 9/28/2001
Time: 12:47:53 AM

Comments

To Bob in Kingston, Ontario, Canada:

Do you want to live in that cave the rest of your life. One of the most valuable aspects of recovery for me is fellowship. I've tried for 3 years my way. That consisted of self help books, buying the literature and not going to meetings. I thought I could get me sober! The easier softer way doesn't work, Bob! There were times when I just didn't want this anymore and it was because of my network within the fellowship I remain sober today. One year of sobriety,because I took the suggestions, got myself a homegroup, got myself a sponsor, took a commitment, let a couple of drunks know who I was and went to meetings. They knew something was wrong and saved my ass, Bob! Told me the things I didn't want to hear but needed to hear! You're on the right track. You have the BIG BOOK, start reading it and get to know about yourself and your disease. A drunk can teach himself how to get drunk, but he can't teach himself how to get sober. He needs another drunk to show him the way! Just speaking from experience Bob, don't do it your way. Try the way that has been working since 1935! God Bless buddy! Good Luck!


Member: Nicole
Location: FL
Date: 9/28/2001
Time: 1:45:42 AM

Comments

Nicole here, alcoholic.... When I first came into the program, I HATED the meetings that I was going to. Fortunately, I wanted to get sober. My sponsor told me to go to meetings until I wanted to go to meetings. I found a club that had meetings everyday at the same time. I showed up early, in spite of myself, and I stayed late to clean up. This really put me out there and I got to know people in recovery. Now, i still go to a meeting every day that I can, whether I want to or not.

As for staing sober without meetings, well, this idea doesn't work for me. As I said, by going to the same meetings in the beginning, people got to know me. They were able to help me through times that I could not have gotten through alone. I believe that my God works through people, and there are no people when I am sitting at home alone. Now, whenever I even try to isolate, or even miss a meeting that I regularly attend, my phone rings and people are genuinely concerned. i have friends today like I have never had before.

I believe there are 2 parts to my recover... First - the program of recovery - the 12 steps, 12 traditions, and my literature. Second - the fellowship - meetings, hours of phone conversation with that A.A. buddy that needs to talk, the list could go on and on.

For this alcoholic, I can not do one without the other and stay sober. I am grateful today. Thanks.


Member: donna jo
Location: montana
Date: 9/28/2001
Time: 11:32:01 AM

Comments

donna - alcoholic. thanks for the topic, amy (and dan). these are both things i've struggled with in my sobriety. meetings seem to be a problem for me as a single parent - there's either not time, or not the right time. i've brought this subject up as a topic at a few meetings, and i usually get feedback like "i always found a time and a way to go drink" or " when i feel like i can't make a meeting, that's when i need to get to one" - for me, it definitely started as just plain NOT being able to get to one - too late or too early to take my son along (which i have done many times during the summer) - and now i'm having a problem just getting there. last night for instance, he was at his dad's house (a rarity) yet, i still did not go . . . .so here i am on "company time" - i't given me a lot to think about thanks !

dan, i also have been prescribed antidepressants - when i went to treatment they urged me NOT to stop taking them in early sobriety - we start to feel good and we think we might not really need them. i too have had sponsors tell me that sobriety is not REAL unless it's completely drug-free . . . i've also had reactions similar to those above, i.e., people who are not license to practice medicine should keep their opinions to themselves. my experience thus far is that i have WANTED to have that "clean" feeling of not having any mind or mood altering chemicals in me, but my doctor has convinced me to take it slowly, one day at a time, and i'm currently in the process of dosing down my antidepressants - my theory is - it took me a lot of pain to get here and i don't want a quick trip back.

thanks all and god bless


Member: Doug K
Location: Changing colors of the W Mi shoreline
Date: 9/28/2001
Time: 9:33:16 PM

Comments

Hi everybody, my name is Doug and I'm an alcoholic.

My life is small-town AA. Never heard of "all recovery" meetings, nor is there a hell of a lot of options on which meetings to go to...but there are some. Nor can I dictate who shows up or what they say or how they look....male - female; tall - short; long-haired dudes - bald guys; black - white; on and on. I was told to identify with the people around me, but never to compare myself to them. One of my favorite passages in the big book is on page 17 and says "We are people who normally would not mix." (Feel any better Larry? I had to look the page # up, though)I sit at the tables with people who have taken other peoples' lives, people who have abused their families and themselves, people who have spent time in mental wards, people with a real history of violence...and many of these folks are my heroes today. We have two all important things in common...alcoholism and recovery from alcoholism.

Could there also be an element of feeling humiliated involved in not going to meetings?

Thanks


Member: Amy
Location:
Date: 9/29/2001
Time: 9:48:15 AM

Comments

(((Bob)))

I too was thinking that I could just do this myself and be fine without the meetings an really apply myself in the program!! Yet I kept reading stories of people who have managed to stay sober for quite sometime without it, but none of them have stayed sober for good..without AA and meetings, or atleast these are the people who were sober for awhile, some even a few years and than drank for a while and found out that all the same old problems were still there and then they decided to take AA seriously and use the program to its fullest. This is kind of the subject of this weeks discussion which I started, because I am having trouble getting myself to meetings also. It just seems to me from all the reading that I have done that sobriety without.. AA is only temporary, I personally don't want temporary sobriety, I need lasting sobriety. I know AA can give that to me, I have only been sober 44 days and I know that I would not of been able to stay sober this long without AA and what I have learned from the program. I have not been attending meetings on a regular basis and I do not have a sponsor, and I feel like I'am doing fine...as is,... The books and the people here and at the coffeepot are telling me that my sobriety is in jeopardy... daily!! because I am not fully working the program, for me this is not a game.. it never has been... so I have stopped thinking I don't need this, and I am trying to learn from other peoples mistakes, instead of going out there and making them on my own...why should I think it is going to be differnt for me..when thousands of people have tried to stay sober without the program and know it doesnt work, they are all around this site and meetings to tell about it, If you don't have a Big book get one and read it!! There are a lot of stories of people in there that tried to get and stay sober with out AA. I have all the faith in the world in these people and the program, If you want to get sober and stay that way... use what is so freely given to you!! I wish you all the best and all the sucess in the world!

(((To All))) here that responded to my question, I have learned soooo much about... myself and why I am struggling with meetings, you have all given me GREAT advice, I have been going to meetings this week, I will go again today!! Thank You, Thank you, Thank You!!


Member: Bob
Location: Ontario, Canada
Date: 9/29/2001
Time: 10:17:48 AM

Comments

thank you Amy

My life of unhapiness and emptyness is about to change I hope

I will keep visiting this site this week I already started to read the BB and the 12 steps

I also have looked up for AA meetings in my area

How does someone get a sponsor

I have been sober for 4 days now I have known for a while that I am a alcoholic

Thanks all for your help

I will ask God and all of you to pray for me


Member: Berna H.
Location: MO.  IN THE COUNTRY.
Date: 9/29/2001
Time: 12:41:28 PM

Comments

hi everyone i am berna an alcoholic, i was sober 25 years and didn"t go to meetings for 7 years after i moved to another state. of course i did drink again, this disease is cunning, baffling and powerful, and very insidious. i drank less than a year. it started because i was out with a girlfriend shopping and she decided to have a glass of wine at lunch, i thought i will too. it had been years, and i was younger then, and soooo. of course i hit bottom again. pain, pain. i had forgotten how painful and humiliating it was. and it IS. i went back to AA, it saved me in the past. the first meeting was so hard. but i admitted it. i also have a sponsor. and i went a week, drank, now it has been 6 weeks. i have a very hard time being a newcomer again. my pride..thanks for letting me share. meetings are so important, most of all a higher power.


Member: Chris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: 9/29/2001
Time: 1:42:36 PM

Comments

Hi all---Chris Here alcoholic/addict/bulimic--Bella's comments remimded me of how close I am to a drink. I am finding that , recently, when people have said to me , "Have a drink---just this once!"---my reaction is ,"well, mabey I will"--How dangerous is that!!??

I'd better get myself to a meeting(or meetings)...There is something about f2f meetings that keep me sober...They get me in touch with what I am really feeling..and and provide me with a safe place where I can say what I am really feeling. I cannot tell you the serenity and relief I feel when I have shared my feelings both good and bad. Often, when I share something that i think is REALLY bad--I find out that i am not alone and that the problem was much bigger in my head that it really was. Thank GOd for the understanding and compassion I have found in the rooms of A.A.! For this alcoholic, " secrets make me sick",and A.A. provides me with a safe place to share my secrets. ---As far as feeling comfortable in certain meetings...When I went to my first meetings I thought that this would never work.The people in there seemed so different from me. HOwever, after doing , 90 in 90, I began to feel so comfortable, because I found out that these people were more like me than I could have ever imagined!!!...LOve to all amd thanks for letting this alcoholic share their thoughts and secrets!


Member: jason a
Location: bakersfield
Date: 9/29/2001
Time: 2:19:07 PM

Comments


Member: jason a
Location: bakersfield
Date: 9/29/2001
Time: 2:19:11 PM

Comments


Member: Ed G,
Location: Bryan
Date: 9/29/2001
Time: 2:21:11 PM

Comments

Hi I am Ed an alcoholic, Will going to meetings isn't hard for me, cause I know that everyone in the room is going through the same thing I am this makes it alot easier for me to be there. There is always some one there willing to go that extra mile with you. As your soberity goes on you will find that the hand of AA is there always. After each meeting I have a sense of peace and fullfillment. Just keep taking it one day at a time.


Member: Hedwig D.
Location: BELGIUM
Date: 9/29/2001
Time: 6:53:57 PM

Comments

Hello, all my dearest friends in AA. I'm so glad that I found this site today. It's now close to 1 am on Sept. 30 here. So I will certainly be back later to go through the comments in detail. I found this site today, but found AA over 20 years ago and have, one day at a time, till this very day, been able to make use of the friendship, kindness, helpfulness and experience stored in AA all over the world. That is why, I cannot on this very day, exactly as I did shortly after starting in AA, but say: "Thanks to God (as I see Him) for having given and still giving me the chance of being a member of this unique fellowship, where my life has been saved. AA, after all, is the only place where I can openly say who and what I am: "I am Hedwig and I am an alcoholic !" Thanks for THAT !!!!


Member: bella
Location: s.fla
Date: 9/29/2001
Time: 7:02:01 PM

Comments

hey (chris) all i have is today....today i was filled with so many painful feelings...my disease was really having a blast.......went to a mtg last nite and someone said, "i don't tell my God how big my problems are, i tell my problems how big my God is" and "if i stay in the basics, i won't have to go back to the basics" if the only thing i accomplished today is to stay sober, then i am a success and a miracle...i am trying to drag my depressed body up to another meeting, and i'm gonna write a gratitude list....something will work cause God loves us alkies!


Member: Jan S.
Location: Lower Bucks County,Pa.
Date: 9/29/2001
Time: 7:57:54 PM

Comments

Hi,I'm Jan and I am an alcoholic. I found this site via The Grapevine and I'm grateful for this web site and for being an alcoholic. Sobriety is an adventure I'm grateful to be a part of. My first meeting out of rehab almost 8 yrs. ago was a bummer and I didn't like it at all.When I look back, I know it wasn't the meeting, it was me. I didn't talk. I didn't introduce myself, I didn't share. With my Higher Power and the fellowship, I have learned that I will only receive what I give away. This is a simple program but no one said it was easy. Don't be so hard on yourself. Take from a meeting what you need and leave the rest. Good luck and God bless.


Member: Jeff B
Location: Northern CA
Date: 9/29/2001
Time: 8:19:26 PM

Comments

Hi my name is Jeff and I am an alcoholic. Bob in Ontario - I am excited for you. This AA stuff and not drinking can be great.

Once you find a few meetings you like, start listening to and watching people. Listen for a man who talks about the book and the steps of AA. Talk with him after the meeting - tell him a little bit of what is going on with you. Tell him that you think you need some help with this stuff and could he sponsor you. (or something like that).

I am an alcoholic who has found it very hard to ask someone for help. The funny thing is I have rarely had anyone in AA say no when I asked for help with this program. Try not to hurry, but don't wait to ask someone. You will find that meetings are great; if you ask someone to help you and then work one alcoholic with another you will find even more. That is how AA got started.

Hope to see you on these pages; and take care eah! Thanks again to everyone for being here. jdbvabeach@msn.com


Member: DB
Location: mo
Date: 9/29/2001
Time: 9:34:11 PM

Comments

Tks Tech's I was concerned.


Member: Treasurer 45th ICYPAA
Location:
Date: 9/30/2001
Time: 3:47:03 AM

Comments

For 15 years, the young people in the AA community of Louisville, Kentucky USA have been bidding to host the International Conference of Young People in AA.

I am happy to report the 45th ICYPAA will be hosted in Louisville, May 23-26, 2002.

Please spread the word!! We will like everyone, from all points of the globe, to join us in the celebration of sobriety. You can stay informed with what is happening at www.icypaa.com

And remember, young means anyone with room to grow.

Yours in service,

Treasurer 45th ICYPAA