Member: Sheri F
Location: Portland, OR
Date: 8/21/00
Time: 10:50:30 PM
Good evening, Have we discussed growth through adversity? I'm finding that I am having to stop and re invest some time in my growth. Spiritual, emotional, and mental.. waist line isn't growing, thank heavens lol. But since I have been ill physically, I discovered that I really must of stopped growing about 4 years ago. This is a disaster for me.. haven't drank, don't ever think of it, but the old attitudes and behaviors seem to have crept in and I do NOT like that!! Oh complacency.. how sneeky thou art. Love and prayers, Sheri F slfrey@Yahoo.com
Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 8/21/00
Time: 11:25:34 PM
Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Thabks for sharing, Sheri! It's a good topic.
Through my own experience with, among other things, health issues and sober living, I have come to feel that adversity is typically a prerequisite to character building.
Of course, the Grace of God and our own spiritual practices are also necessary, but usually they lead to temporary emotional, spiritual, and mental disequilibrium. No pain, no gain.
Member: The crazy world of Avril G
Location: Belgium
Date: 8/22/00
Time: 3:17:24 AM
Well, not been here for some time, Sheri, but woke up this morning feeling 'What's it all about', took out pen and paper, wrote down the reason I think I feel like this, and decided why!! Through an emotional rock-bottom earlier this year, I ended up homeless, lost just about everything I ever owned, (Including my self-esteem) and at almost 10 years of sobriety, came the closest I have ever been to drinking again.
However, thanks to the programme and the fellowship, I stayed sober, and my life has completely turned around, and I am now starting to rebuild my life again, BUT in a new relationship, (which I have never been very good at) AND, I have realised just a while ago, that there are challenges (I prefer that to problems) which I have to address, and what am I doing??? Going it alone, for the most part. I have missed far too many meetings (convincing myself it is OK to do this, since I am on an 'extended vacation' and of course, have not been in touch with my sponsor for weeks, SO these little challenges, which started out as molehills, are now bloody big mountains, and I have gone down like a pricked balloon, so now it is ACTION TIME!!! And I often mistake ACTIVITY for ACTION (Done a lot of THAT recently) YES, as Michael has already said, there's no gain without pain, so here we go again.....
Step 1 I am powerless OR, steps 1 to 3
1. I can't 2. God Can 3. Let Him/her do it
Is my presence here after so long a co-incidence I ask myself???? God-Incidence, I reckon. Thanks again, SHERI, I needed this.
goodallavril@hotmail.com
Member: Stan M.
Location: Findlay, OH
Date: 8/22/00
Time: 4:48:10 AM
Hi, my first name is Stan and my last name is Alcoholic. I think that's what it's all about. We're all "family." I know what you mean about adversity. I'm one who tends to rely on my Higher Power only when things are not going well. i.e. Growth depends directly on my sense of pain! I hate to admit that, but it's true. I grow, I turn to the God of my understanding, and I REALLY PRACTICE the program only when I hurt enough to do so. I think my Higher Power forces me to "bow" to Him in order to keep me from the EGO syndrome. "Easing God Out!" Knowing this, I try to keep a close "conscious contact" with the God of my understanding. It helps. I grow. Incidently, I've noticed that the Steps say "God of our undrstanding," not "God we invented." It seems to me that there is a vast difference. I can make up anything I want, I can "understand" only what already exists. That for me was a turning point. I was amazed when I read the sentence in the Big Book where Bill says, "we do not reject the men of religion." For me, that was a revelation. I'd always believed that AA was NOT religious. I've found that we do accept the "men of religion" as our experts. They know far more than us as "lay" people ever could.
Member: Carol C.
Location: New Jersey
Date: 8/22/00
Time: 7:22:11 AM
Hi Carol Alcoholic.
Great topic Sherry. I quess God is getting ready to have me grow again. I have come to realize there are certain situations in my life I can no longer tolerate. I've had to push away the fear and trust that professional people will take care of me. I've put it off for a long time and need to go blindly into trusting everything will be ok. I have also realized I need to change my work situation whethor it's transfering to another department or finding a new job. My boss is not good for my sobriety. I allow him to behave badly. I need to remember it is my choice whethor I continue to put up with behaviors that are not acceptable to me and make me feel bad about myself. He is just a very unhappy negative person and I don't have to stay if I choose not to. That is a big step for me. Realizing I do have choices. I think my higher power has decided to help me push away the fear and do something about several situations in my life. The feelings of uncomfortableness lessen when I decide to get off the fence and take action.
Thank you for letting me share and have a great week everyone.
Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 8/22/00
Time: 11:44:39 AM
growth through (misfortune) adversity? yes we do grow or crumble when faced with it.the key word for me is to face it.when i was drinking as a life style i couldn't face anything ,there for no growth,i'd get drunk and wait for it to be over feeling sorry for myself the whole time and also giving myself a reason to keep on drinking.i have grown thru pain today,the pain of facing myself and not buckleing in when some type of advesity comes,..my father died two years ago ...i seem to have gained some type of strength from this,i miss him alot but his passing has made me a better man. he still teaches me everyday.that is growth...if i drink ,i can kiss my growth and strength(thruogh God) goodbye,i feel like i am finally becoming the person i was intended to be.i will have many challanges in the future i'm sure ,but,without booze i can face them....thanks for being here,i'm tony an alcoholic
Member: Deborah P.
Location: Georgia
Date: 8/22/00
Time: 12:24:17 PM
Deborah, alcoholic, Boy, I know how you feel. Have lost 2 grandparents and 2 babies in the 7 yrs. God has kept me sober. The latest loss sent me into a tailspin and I amnow getting outside help (along w/ my meetings). Therapy is good if you need it. God has sustained me and, like the footprints in the sand, has carried me for a while. Sometimes I feel I can't handle another thing but I & God can & will. We always have hope in AA as long as we stick close to the program and God. Good luck and don't give up. You are not alone.
Member: Ray H.
Location: Niagara Falls, NY
Date: 8/22/00
Time: 12:26:53 PM
Ray - Alcoholic,
Interesting that this has been chosen. I feel my growth daily and it due to the adversity that I have experianced that I can have this growth. Because of the the steps, I am now able to let go, and let god. While something may be hard to deal with I KNOW in my heart that my higher power (god) is behind me, he is there to support and protect me. The few times when I've been concerned it occured to me that I had not turned it over to god. That I had tried to keep it to myself and fix it on my own. That good old self-will coming out. I try to keep in mind when I come to these points that my life is no longer mine, but I'm here to serve my higher power. Maybe I haven't had something bad enough happen to me yet, but I have gone through divorce, seperation from my daughter, and loss of financial security without picking up. I have gained strength from having dealt with adversity just as I gain strength from living the steps. A simple program for complicated people Thanks for letting me share Ray
Member: Chris T
Location: NC
Date: 8/22/00
Time: 3:57:32 PM
Gaining sobriety, and a new perspective on life as the result of working the steps in no way insulates one from the "character builders" we all must experience as members of the human race. Some things - disease and death come to mind - are built in to the fabric of physical existence. We have no choice as to whether we ultimately must deal with them, and, to a great extent, little choice as to when. Acceptance of these situations, and the feelings experienced when facing them, is the best tool the program provides us.
Other challenges, as they involve our interpersonal reactions with coworkers, friends, and, indeed, those we might not consider friends, can be dealt with more directly. Courage to make the necessary changes (both within ourselves and, if necessary, to our environment)enables us to deal with situations of that type.
The spiritual outlook gained through living the program allows us a vehicle for accesing the wisdom to know the difference between the two types of challenges - natural and societal.
I believe that if we maintain serenity in the face of adversity, we'll experience personal growth through periods of adversity.
Chris, an alcoholic.
Member: gramlinder
Location:
Date: 8/22/00
Time: 4:11:36 PM
Thanks Chris. I've been sober 21 years. While it gets easier as time goes on to "intuitively know how to handle situations...", I still mess up. I needed to be remined of the courage to change and appreciate finding your note.
Its easy to just say, "I accept". In fact, that word (acceptance) has given me a lot of grief. It reminds me more of quitting (not surrendering, which is entirely different), but just flat quitting. If I had accepted my alcoholism I would still be drunk (or dead).
I prefer to say "I admit" this or that defect. It seems to fit the program better. In fact, if memory serves me, the word 'admit' appears more than 'god' in our steps.
Admitting is a powerful tool. It frees me to seek alternatives because I have to give up all my other stuff, i.e., justification, excuses, blame...
Member: Marsha W
Location: Iquique, Chile
Date: 8/22/00
Time: 7:26:19 PM
Hi from Marsha, alcoholic. I'm in a small town in Northern Chile with no group and the going is tough. I sympathize with Billy onboard ship. Was in the same "boat", but before I realized I was an alcoholic. This is a wonderful site and I thank you and my higher power for having found it. Am staying sober with Antibuse but would kill for a meeting. If anyone wants to write, it's marcatmm@hotmail.com. C'mon, Billy, we can make our own meetings. Love and thanks to all, God bless. Marsha
Member: Melissa B.
Location: Canada
Date: 8/22/00
Time: 7:41:25 PM
Thanks, Chris. I'm Melissa, an alcoholic a couple of months into my second year of sobriety. The first year felt like it was all about saving my life. The second year is starting to feel like LOOKING at my life, and finding things (many things) about myself that aren't working very well, for me and the people in my life. I'm finding that I can't WILL myself to change anymore than I could WILL myself to stop drinking. I'm trying to work the steps. I'm keeping on praying for patience and trust. I'm trying to remember that time takes time. And even though I don't feel particularly peaceful or content or serene right now, I feel brilliant compared to how I felt in active alcoholism. That means a lot to me, to remember how I used to feel. When I don't feel great, I go to more meetings and slow my life down. It's true what people say: there is nothing that a drink wouldn't make far, far worse. And tomorrow's another day. I can always count on my feelings changing. Thanks for a good topic, wishing us all a sober day, Melissa
Member: lonly v
Location: n/w
Date: 8/22/00
Time: 8:01:02 PM
hi i relate to this topic i havent been to a meeting since i moved the first of july i really miss sitting in meetings and gaining some sanity i moved in with a non alcoholic who is controling and doesnt want me to go to meetings i have plans to leave here soon i got a job and hope to be out of here by the end of the month he is out of town right now i have been sober since 11/1/87 i got sober for him but we split up 3 yrs later i stayed sober and thought i was "well enough" to make it with him i realize now that god wants me to have better than this god wants me to be happy joyus and free of course it is obvious i havent talked to a sponsor thank god for cyber aa
Member: Jerome
Location: london
Date: 8/22/00
Time: 8:35:19 PM
pls tell me how this site works as i NEED to get involved. pls send any suggestions to Jerome at jerry@pro69.freeserve.co.uk I am in London W9 and would love to talk to anyone.
Member: roger
Location: nj
Date: 8/22/00
Time: 8:57:48 PM
what happened to the coffee pot disc?
roger
Member: Theresa S.
Location: Iowa
Date: 8/22/00
Time: 9:19:48 PM
Theresa S. here, alcoholic.
At first I did not know what to say on this topic! Until I read Mellissa B.'s wonderful post! Thank you Melissa! You put so many things into place for me! This is my early months of sobriety! I am at four now!
And right now stopping drinking is all about staying alive! I want to get to the point where I can grow. But I guess I have to rememeber that old one day at a time! I want to rush it! I want to be totally better now!
But that is not how it works. Thank you Melissa for saying just what I needed to hear!
And I heard 21 years sober! I applaud you and hope some day I can say the same thing!
I would also like to chat by email with any of you who can give me some tips or ideas! I was so glad to see more people including an email address this week! I had a lovely email last week from someone that really helped me out! My email is kristin.sokugawa@prodigy.net for any who would like to talk. I have ample meetings to go to here, but because of my work, I can not always make them! So I would love to establish a group of internet folks that I could "call" by email if I need to!
This internet meeting is a god send! And I thank you all for coming here and sharing!
But how do we hug online? Cause I owe a couple of you a big one!
Member: Bill G
Location: Centerville, VA
Date: 8/22/00
Time: 9:55:15 PM
My name is bill and I am an alcoholic. Just started a new job in a new city. Although conditions are not adverse they are difficult as I adjust. Only 2 days into it. I often experience my best growth and learning leasons with adverse times. Sometimes it is darkest just before dawn. Tolerating uncertainity and fear are very difficult. It takes an incredible amount of faith to get through hard times. I am responsible for making the effort though. Being sober allows me to experience all the good, bad and ugly of life. For that I am grateful. N
Member: Bruce A.
Location: Crowsnest,PA
Date: 8/22/00
Time: 10:18:02 PM
Hi Bruce A., an alcoholic. Staying sober through adversity. I couldn't stay sober before 9-10-83. Since then I have gone through a lot of life stuff but I didn't have to do it on my own like I tried so many times before. With the help of my H.P. and AA we can get through anything. I am fortunate to have a lot of good friends in AA, a Sponsor and a home group. I try to practice the principles of love, unselfihness, tolerance, patience, honesty, purity and kindness every day. What people have given me here I try to share with others. I am not perfect in any thing but I am willing.Thanks for the topic Sheri and Love you All, Your Friend, Bruce A.
Member: Corinne B., Alcoholic here, there & missing the CP!!!
Location: Camino, CA - Where Apples Grow & Life Flows
Date: 8/23/00
Time: 1:09:32 AM
This really is a great topic ((Sherri)) <----that's a cyber-hug ((Theresa S)).
When faced with adversity, I can go one of two ways. I can withdraw, turning inward and internalize all that external stuff, which inevitably causes me more pain, catastrophizing it to the point of agony and thoughts of suicide pervade my very essence. The alternative is to ask HP for the willingness to allow someone else to help me get through whatever is challenging me to grow. The saying that God doesn't give us anything more than we can handle is a good one. Not so long ago, I figured out that's because HP doesn't expect us to handle anything all alone. There are other people on the planet for a reason; we're all here to help one another in whatever way we can. When I started turning to others to help bear my burdens, I started to outgrow the self-centeredness that convinced me I could do things by myself, and that was when I stopped being the life-long martyr who sighed "Oh, that's okay, I'll be fine" whenever someone offered a helping hand.
I had that need not to let you in so that I could keep up that facade of being perfect, when inside I was crumbling and staying that small, scared child who longed so much to know how other human beings did this thing called living life on lifes terms so well! I hadn't a clue, but I would never let you know that, so I stayed in a small, under-developed world of insanity. How can a person grow when they don't face what needs be faced? If I don't take in any new data, how can I learn anything new to promote any growth? If all I'm ever doing is looking at all that is wrong with the world, how can I hope to see anything that is light and pure? I never looked toward any joy or hope because I had convinced myself that cynicism would protect me from all the world's negativity, and make me superior to the rest of the world since I knew better. Ha!
Hell, I didn't know squat till I bumped into AA via a 12th Step call in a bar. The adversity I've faced in my life from that point to this would've killed stronger people than I, so all I know is that there must be some greater plan at work here. I sure wouldn't have done it this way; if left to me, I'd still be drunk! And I may not have done it altogether sober the whole way, but I keep coming back to the source for more help. That source is the Program as outlined in the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. Thank HP that AA doesn't kick a person out if they don't get it down pat from day one. We're allowed our mistakes, no matter what and we're always welcomed back with opened arms. I hope I don't have to drink again when faced with some of the earth-shattering things of life, such as death, disease and heartbreak, but all I have to do it for is this day alone. I also like the saying "we don't have problems, we just have things to do." That one really keeps it in perspective for me. Thanks for the topic again, and thanks for letting me share what is in my heart today.
P.S. What the heck happened to the CoffeePot? We're going through withdrawals here! Talk about adversity! LOL!!!
Member: rick k
Location: Mesa,Az
Date: 8/23/00
Time: 1:27:15 AM
Hi, I'm rick and I am an alcoholic, and may I add a very grateful one at that. I'm noticing alot of members seem to have significant time of sobriety. I applaud each and everyone of you no matter how long you've been sober but for the mere fact that we are all lucky enough to be able to talk to each other. Talking for me can be learning and everytime I go to meetings I try to listen more than I talk. Along time ago I came to AA and tried to do this the other way by talking rather than listening and learning. I'm pretty sure most of you know what I'm talking about. Thank all of you for letting me listen and learn. rick k
Member: Avril G
Location: Belgium
Date: 8/23/00
Time: 2:16:17 AM
{{{{SHERI}}}} I have tried e-mailing you at your posted address, but got it back undelivered three times?? Could you please drop me a quick e-mail sometime so I can get your proper address in my book?? THANKS
goodallavril@hotmail.com
Member: Avril G
Location: Belgium
Date: 8/23/00
Time: 2:16:20 AM
{{{{SHERI}}}} I have tried e-mailing you at your posted address, but got it back undelivered three times?? Could you please drop me a quick e-mail sometime so I can get your proper address in my book?? THANKS
goodallavril@hotmail.com
Member: tracman1@hotmail.com
Location: midwest
Date: 8/23/00
Time: 2:17:14 AM
Hi fellow alcoholics. I have been to several hunderd AA meetings. I have listened with an open mind and used logic and reason. I have weighed my feelings and the knowledge I have learned over years of life. I have come to the conclusion that the real demon is not alcohol. It comes from within. Alcohol gives the excuse of letting the demons out.So many times I hear of the problems alcohol caused and how bad life was. I feel AA maybe a diversion, at best. The real problem lies within and must be dealt with. You can not expect to be sober and your problems will dissapear. The demon is still there, waiting, it must be dealt with at the core, not the sympton. How many AA members will spend years fighting this demon before they either die from running from it or hiding from it all in the name of AA? I am no fan of AA and I think it needs a major revamping. I will give my prooven advice that has helped alot of people. I dont want to see another person led down the wrong path as my last girlfreind and myself. AA seems good, and maybe well intentioned, but it is hardley the godsend it is passed off as. I spent 30 days of my life in jail for refusing to go to anymore AA meetings. I had 60 days left of probation, I offered to take daily alcohol test, no, they said, I chose jail. Everyone has to make a stand sometime. Anybody wants another opinion besides AA's, email me,
Member: ChuckM
Location: Alberta
Date: 8/23/00
Time: 3:06:11 AM
I'm Chuck, an alcoholic
I think adversity has been the trigger for change in my life. It got me into AA.
I did the steps because that is God's will for me. At step 10 in the big book it says I must continue to grow for a lifetime.
I have found that by practicing step 11 each day that I grow. Intuitive answers appear for problems or challenges. I now have a resource to handle problems. It is curious! maybe that I don't seem to have as many problems as before.
The AA program works for the people willing to let go old ideas. The program does not need change just me. For the person who wants to degnigrate AA God bless and goodby.
Peace and Serenity
Member: JACK B
Location: PALO ALTO PA
Date: 8/23/00
Time: 4:14:04 AM
HI I AM JACK, A REAL ALCOHOLIC.GROWTH THRU ADVERSITY IS A FABULOUS TOPIC.MY AUNT MARY USED TO TELL ME WHEN I WAS GROWING UP THAT SOONER OR LATER I WOULD NEED TO LEAR THE ABC'S OF LIFE. ADVERSITY BUILDS CHARACTER. MY GREATEST ASSET TODAY IS MY PAST, BECAUSE ITS THRU THE PERSONAL HELL I SUFFERED FROM ALCOHOL THAT I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO GROW INTO A USEFUL HUMAN BEING TODAY.SOBRIETY'S GREATEST GIFT TO THIS ALCOHOLIC IS TODAY I AM USEFUL, NO BETTER, NO WORSE.JUST USEFUL.I HAVE A REASON TO GET UP TODAY. I AM NOT GRATEFUL THAT I AM AN ALCOHOLIC, I AM NOT SHOUTING FROM THE ROOFTOPS ABOUT WHAT I DID TO MYSELF.WHAT I AM GRATEFUL FOR IS THROUGH MY GREATEST CHARACTER DEFECT,BEING A DRUNK,I HAVE FOUND A WONDERFUL WAY OF LIFE THRU THE 12 STEP PROGRAM OF AA. THANKS FOR A GREAT TOPIC AND GOD BLESS ALL
Member: Jan BB
Location: Paris, France
Date: 8/23/00
Time: 6:29:37 AM
Hi, Jan recovering alcoholic. Wow, great topic Sheri! Living this program in all my affairs and allowing for the ever changing conditions of my life to be lived on lifes terms has given me plenty of room to grow. I have a friend with 54 years, Frank B. from San Francisco. I asked Frank what most had the program taught him. He said to remain teachable and reteachable. I went through a very diffcult patch a little over two years ago. I was 8 years sober at the time. I was newly married and just found out I was pregnant. My husband lost his job. A month after that my mother had a stroke and was diagnosed with dementia and was placed in a rest home to live. After that a bit of wreckage of my husbands back taxes came into our lives. The French goverment drained all our savings account and took two thirds of the monthly unemployment check; we could not pay rent for four months. I felt scared for life felt out of control and so did I. I went to meetings twice a day, worked the third, six and seven on a constant basis, and worked on replacing my fear with faith. I took direction and listened. I prayed and meditated daily. Was it working, yes, was I perfect at it, no. I'm not a saint, I was a pregnant human sober woman. I did it to the best of my ability, at that time. My pregancy was diffcult. Our son was only four pounds when he was delivered three weeks early. My husband did get work, a good job. We made good on past rent and have since moved onto a larger apartment. Our little boy is just great. I live 6000 miles from my mother and am powerless over her condition and love her. Slowly, life changed and I could see that we had moved on. I'm different since that time and those times changed me. Another growth experience; this program and working it has given me more of life than I ever dreamed possible. Thank you for letting me share.
Member: Bob H>
Location: South Bend,IN.
Date: 8/23/00
Time: 7:42:22 AM
Hi everone,Bob alcoholic thank you god for another day .I"Ve been s0ber since jan 1980 through the grace of god and this program and everytime i have adversity to go through i grow . WEll i"m going through it now and the thing that helps me make it is my past 20yrs. when i got to aa i couldn"t think did"t drink and ended up at an aa meeting today i can think not drink and still come to aa meetings before that well that was just living hell.God knows i need adversity at times in my life to help me to continue to grow in this new life if i choose to ,and i do.adversity helps me to redouble my efforts into applying this program to my life ,and without it i could easley become complacent.So I do thank gog for allowing me the opportunity of having adversity in my life and giving me 12 steps and a great fellowship to make it through it .Thank you all for being here for me.
Member: Bill W
Location: Indiana
Date: 8/23/00
Time: 9:12:10 AM
Hi my name is Bill and I'm an alcoholic. Good topic! I find that from my experience that either we grow or we go. And I have found that out to be true out of my own experience. The only answer for me is working the 12 steps. Getting into old behaviors is a big warning flag for me. It's time to take a inventory and see whats going on with myself. I have also found it wise to talk to my sponser about whats going on. Sharing with another human being keeps me honest because I can still con myself and rationalize anything and almost any behavior.Just as the big book of alcoholics anonymous say's once we get our spiritual life on track we straighten out mentally and physically. God can heal me if I allow him to but I have to go through the actions of change and working the 12 steps to the best of my ability is where its at for me and I'm so gratefull for AA.
Member: Jennifer
Location: Missouri
Date: 8/23/00
Time: 9:26:29 AM
I really like a lot of what has been said here. However, I want to make a few comment about what Chris T wrote. First, I got sober (25 years ago) and have been able to maintain my sobriety also by working the steps of this program. There have been many times during those years that I have struggled emmensely and have wondered "what the heck is this all about." I finally had to accept that I was human and that life was not going to become perfect just because I became sober.
But.....I have to say Chris T that what you wrote sounds really good and is well written but I was not able to find one thing that gives guidance to a newcomer or someone like myself, who struggles from time to time, on how to achieve (let alone maintain) serenity in the face of adversity. It is a nice thought, but let's face it, trying to be serene when things are devastatingly bad in one's life is not just something you turn on and off like a water faucet. I am not saying it cannot be achieved, but stop making it sound like it is simple when the truth is, IT IS DIFFICULT AND IT TAKES A LOT OF WORK!
I did not get sober or stay sober by listening to a lot of magical statements like "just maintain serenity in the face of adversity." How about giving us some substance to work with, like what are some of things you do to maintain your serenity while facing enormous pain or adversity. I learned and continue to learn through example NOT SLOGANS.
I am sorry if this offends anyone here, but I am so tired of attending meetings, both online and f2f, and hearing people recite a bunch of meaningless slogans without adding any substance. So, Chris T, I am not interested in a sociology or environmental lesson. I can attend school for that! I am here to stay sober and I do that by hearing other's share about their own experience, strength and hope. Just read what Jan BB wrote. That is "real life" stuff. I read that and can only say to myself "my problems were and are nothing compared to that!" And talk about an example of maintaining sobriety (not necessarily serenity) in the face of adversity. Thank you Jan BB.
Member: richard m
Location: sarasota , florida !
Date: 8/23/00
Time: 9:40:47 AM
hello my name is richard m., i am an alcoholic.. Staying a way from a drink is always # 1......Serenety soon follows......confrontation techniques or seeking out adversity useually means a loss of serenety ......also our reliance as alcoholics on page 449 ...seeems to indicate , a calm peaceful solution is what works for us as an alcohlic... being humble is where its at!! i recently begin reading jose silva's book on mind control ......it of course is in addition to and a result of my being sober ..nothing i do will allow me to be able to return to the drinking way of life !!however it is some thing i needed to help me focus on me !!!!! and theryby do that which i could be hither to, were unable to do in my recovery !lov , peace and happiness...rjpmoody@webtv.net
Member: Carol A
Location: Illinois
Date: 8/23/00
Time: 9:42:03 AM
I think I have reached the end of the road. I am ready to join the alcoholic in my life. My life keeps getting worse every day. I seen him last night and he was drunk and became abusive, physically. I am watching him die and it's so so hard.... He had told me he was sober and making meetings. I know no one can help me either. I am trying to love myself because no one else is.. I try to laugh but I am dying inside too. The police did not arrest him for being a public drunk and I did not press charges for him grabbing me. So the enabling continues and my life is coming to an end too I think.. Let go and let God. I think God doesn't like me and I don't either.
Member: Ig, K
Location: South Korea
Date: 8/23/00
Time: 11:45:18 AM
Hi, everyone. I am Ig, Kim, a Korean alcholic. There is a Korean saying, "Patience is bitter but its fruit is sweet". It means that happiness is the price of adversity. I would like to say my experience. I had drunk for 20 years, starting from about 20 years old. I have never been happier than now. From the point of view of present day, during the years when I drank including childhood, I little felt happy. The past was characterized with uneasyness, anxiety, anger, greed, vanity, and the like. In the end I was afflicted by the impulse of suicide. In a word, the past of my life was filled with adversity itself. However, now when I have maintained sobriety for 4 years and 6 month, I feel happy. If anything, it is drinking and sobriety. So I can say that as for me drinking and trying not to drink is adversity, and sobriety is happiness. I think adversity, if only we overcome it, lead to pleasure and happiness. Thank you for letting me share with you. I am searching for e-mail pal who wants to share sober life with each other. My e-mail is kig777@hanmail.net. Good-bye, everyone.
Member: terry
Location:
Date: 8/23/00
Time: 12:02:29 PM
hi carrol,
stay sober be strong,take a break,go to a meeting. terry
Member: toonydaduck
Location: Boston area
Date: 8/23/00
Time: 2:43:52 PM
Great topic Terry! Gratitude is always a welcomed topic. I feel much gratitude for AA,my HP and all you folks in here!
Member: TTT
Location: corn flakes
Date: 8/23/00
Time: 3:15:53 PM
looneytooney lots of things about saturdays wish i had the other days
tony the tiger..GGGGGGGRRRRRREAT
Member: ddat
Location:
Date: 8/23/00
Time: 3:18:29 PM
hi carrol,
whip him good
daffy duck and taz
Member: carrol
Location:
Date: 8/23/00
Time: 4:03:59 PM
theres testing going on at the coffee pot,last one theres a rotton egg,ill race you.
carrol
Member: Rich R, slowly recovering compulsive person
Location: Detroit
Date: 8/23/00
Time: 4:22:51 PM
"growth through adversity"? I don't remember ever having that as a topic! It's a good one Sheri, thanks.
I have often said that I didn't just wake up one morning and decide that, because I didn't have anything else to do, I would see if I could join a 12-step program that day. I avoided change (and therefore growth) at any cost. The evidence had to be overwhelmingly obvious before I would even THINK about stopping some self-destructive behavior. I think that's why I avoid doing a 10th step each night, because I don't want to be challenged to modify my behavior on a daily basis.
That's all I can think of on this topic. I forgot to introduce myself: I'm Rich R, a slowly recovering compulsive person. Thanks everyone for being here and sharing, you really are helping my recovery :-)
Member: Kevin m
Location: Stockton, Ca
Date: 8/23/00
Time: 4:48:53 PM
My name is Kevin and i am an alcoholic
Boy great topic...... when faced with adversity it is put up or shut up time for me... in early sobriety i took "all " of my challanges to my sponsor... this really helped to put things into perspective.. he never told me what to do... he shared his experiences with me and allowed me to make my own choices.... now days i turn first to god... i just say a simple prayer... " please help me with this situation, it is too big to handle on my own... together we can face anything"... i take a big breath and try to smile... if i can... i know i'll be alright... if i cannot.... i pray until i can.... if this fails i share at meetings and do one on one's with "safe" members of my fellowship and / or my sponsor.... and lastly when i still feel i cannot go on.... i remind myself that i am living my life one day at a time... if i can get through today.... i can begin this process again tomorrow...... My biggest challenges however come when i am on a roll... no adversity... i start to believe my own B.S.... my ego takes over and i am in the danger zone.... therefore i am actually gratefull when i face adversity because.... i realize just how much i need to forget about self... and plug into god.... as to earlier critical statements seen on this post... i have to remember that everyone is here to teach us lessons... some how to do things and some how NOT to do things... it is for this reason i find it a waste of my time to point out a specific individual and "take them on"... please... who do i think i am... next thing you know my ego would have me believe that i can run someone elses life... what a joke... no i am in a dangerous space when i " TELL YOU" anything... all i can do is share my experiences as they relate to me... never as how they relate to you.... we are all on this journey.... you cannot take mine... and i cannot take yours.... we can share with each other along the way....but the second you see me tell or type-out Kevin M's... how to manual... run as far as you can becuase it will all be ego... and when my ego runs the show it is garbage... sorry for the rant but i almost let "know it all's" and "aa guru's" run me off.. and i need to share how it relates to me... thanks.. keep comming back...
Member: Katie N
Location: Sunny California
Date: 8/23/00
Time: 4:53:56 PM
I feel like I Just fell into a disney chat room. Hi Katie here grateful alcoholic.. Im mostly wondering if anyone knows what happend AT THE COFFEE POT cant post there and also no one else has posted for almost 2 days. What up! Reguarding this weeks topic. Growth thru adversity. Its funny as i look back now. In the disease I found that I chose to blame everyone else for my problems, the things that happened were because THEY did them to me I was always the victim. therefore the adversity I experienced was never a growth experience. It wasnt until just before I came into AA that I finally came to the realization that I had to look at what i was doing that I was finally able to ask for and recieve help. Since then the adversity I have experienced has only suceeded in msking me stronger in my sobriety. In exchange for a bottle and a hangover zi've been given the Keys ro the Kingdom. Avril and yvonne I miss ya. If the pot is still broke down tommorrow please E-maail me. Thanks to all who post here cartoon characters and all. Blessings for another sober day. Katie
Member: pp
Location: dis world
Date: 8/23/00
Time: 5:44:11 PM
hi katie n, hey the coffee pot is working now,i think they pulled the plug on it for a couple days cause they knew zane was going to blow a gasket!!!!! he seems to be having a bad hair-day with art!! check it out its pretty funny flying. porky pig
Member: Mary K
Location: Boston (Raynham)
Date: 8/23/00
Time: 5:55:01 PM
Hi all! Mary, alcy
"Life is difficult". That is the first line of the book The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck M.D.
Being an recovering alcoholic I have had to learn to face life on life's terms without a drink or a substitute. It is not always easy. The hardest part (to date) of my journey in sobriety was the beginning when I was learning how NOT to drink when the going gets rough - which it inevitably does. For years most of us ran to a drink for everything - good, bad or indifferent.
For me, hindsight is 20/20. I generally don't know I have grown until AFTER a crisis has passed. I can THEN look at how I did or did not apply what I have learned through the 12 steps...I can then see where I have made progress and where I fall short. During any crisis (real or imagined) I talk (alot)to those whom I wish to emulate, ask for help from my HP a bit more sincerely and more often than when things are good, and I get to meetings, meetings, meetings. AND I stay out of "slippery places" (VERY important).
The St. Francis prayer in the Step book was written AFTER he went through "the emotional wringer" - not during. When in the pain of adversity all I can see and feel is the pain of the situation - the growth eludes me although I realize it is probably happening.
THE WORD AROUND HERE IS HOPE !!!!
Love to all, Mary.
Member: Dave A.
Location: Berkeley, CA
Date: 8/23/00
Time: 8:11:59 PM
Hi my name is Dave and I'm a grateful recovering alcoholic/addict. I can definitely relate to the topic. Three years ago I came up with a pinched nerve in my neck and spent an entire year in pain all day every day, trying to stay sober and having to give up all the sports, activities and other things that I had cherished for many years. Then I had surgery and had to recover from that, learning how to use pain medication the right way, with support, and trying to gain my life back. I spent the next two years gradually learning to live with my disability, and in the meantime came up with coronary artery disease and having to go through massive changes in diet, exercise and again, learning to take medications responsibly. I am only 48! I am firmly convinced that all these physical problems are the result of 15 years of pouring chemicals into my body and all the unhealthy lifestyle that goes with it. The bottom line to all this is, I didn't drink or use, no matter what. I felt like it, but I didn't. Did it make me spiritually stronger, more serene, in tune? I don't know, all I know is I got through it. Normal people have crises like this to deal with too, and they get through it without having an urge to kill themselves. Normal people get a flat tire and they call AAA, we get a flat and we call suicide prevention. All I know is I cherish my 18 years of sobriety, and it's going to take a lot more than that to get me to give it up. Thankor letting me share, this is my first cyber meeting. I haven't been going to enough f2f lately, so I guess this is a good start. Over and out.
Member: tommy c./ tjc
Location: columbus, ga.
Date: 8/23/00
Time: 8:22:16 PM
hi ya`ll my name is tommy c and truly alcoholic.
adversity/complacentcy(s.p.) out to sea. yea that sounds good to me since lyrics thrill me. i must share a little something that helps me find the root of each ego act i go through and it was spoken about earlier. I sit down to this keyboard and start writing everything i can think about that is affecting at the moment i see everything spinning like it did when i drank. usually so much happens during that typing session that when i go to print and reread what i have writen i feel like a new person right there and can identify where i need to make amends because only when my ego takes over do i get all twisted and someone gets a taste of a stupid x-drunk. therefore i know amends are in order and each time i sit down to write about what ever is going on in my life that has me feeling adverse to situations around me i get exactly what i need from that puting it on paper and i become aware of how close my h.p. keeps tabs on me. ssssooooo i hope it helps you like it helps me thankyou for letting me share. tjc
Member: rockey & bullwinkle
Location: cybercity
Date: 8/23/00
Time: 9:13:25 PM
join forces to combat evil on the coffee pot.
bullwinkle
Member: Harry K.
Location: United Kingdom
Date: 8/23/00
Time: 9:23:39 PM
"No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others" Each day I am provided with numerous opportunities for growth and happiness, cleverly disguised as problems and obstacles. When I get caught in adversity, I automatically try and control or manage things. Inevetably, I get kicked in the ass because I forget who's really running the show. When I see it for what it is at any given time, I can ride the wave and just witness all the shit that I'm not allowing myself to become attached to. Either way, it provides me food for growth. I love you guy's! Thank's for the topic Sherrie!
Member: Corinne G.
Location: B.C. CANADA
Date: 8/23/00
Time: 10:11:03 PM
Hello friends, my name is Corinne and I'm an alcoholic. One thing for me is constant in my life, and that's change. Change started almost immediately when I sobered up. I used to say my life changed 180 degrees. Now, I realize it's only the beginning. Many blessings have been given to me as a result of my sobriety.But, I need my sobriety to continue this Trudge OF Happy Destiny.(I used to think it said "to" Happy Destiny. Now, I realize more and more that today is all we have. i need to make the best of it. That's probably a horrible thing to hear if your having a bad day, but, it helps put things into perspective for me. Anyway, things have not only gotten better for me when I sobered up, but they became different. Of course life will have it's ups and downs, but I would much rather go through the down times sober, otherwise they'll only get worse. Thenks for my sobriety.
Member: BRIAN P
Location: MYRTLE BEACH SC
Date: 8/24/00
Time: 12:40:21 PM
GOD IS STRONGEST WHEN I AM WEAKEST MY NAME IS BRIAN / ALCOHOLIC
IF I HAD NOT GONE THROUGH TOUGH TIMES AND SURVIVED... WHAT WOULD I BE GRATEFULL FOR???
Member: russellp
Location: NYC
Date: 8/24/00
Time: 1:59:04 PM
Russell, Alcoholic Greetings.....I am in the middle of a 90&90. I'm on vacation and am away from my usual haunts and am in other usual haunts...To me adversity is when things don't happen the way you want. I had a couple of things go awry last night and today...That is a true test of my early sobriety. These things are leading me to have a bad day which is usually what happens if I let my brain take over. I let my brain run the show, and the results where disasterous to say the least. I am learning how to listen to direction, pray to the HP when I need guidance(Ineed guidance when I first open my eyes). I have to accept the fact that when I feel let down by others, both inside and outside, I can always turn to the HP for help. Even though the boat may sink(my boat in the bay), or someone needs my car, and therefore I can't get to meetings, I can always pray and read the big book and look for opportunities that God puts in my path to be helpful and participate in life instead of feeling sorry for myself. I am grateful that I am not drinking today and can say to myself that adversities in life WILL happpen. Life aint a bed of Roses and that is another fact to accept. I can grow when things don't go my way, and look inside to see how my participation can make the situation better by not acting in a self-centered fashion.
Not only am I pwerless over the first drink, I am also powerless over life in general. Such matters I nedd to turn over to the HP for help because I can't do it alone.
Thanks for the topic and being there.
Member: univrs
Location:
Date: 8/24/00
Time: 5:20:53 PM
hi folks, my name is beldar,ima coneaholic,i am a true conehead from the world go.
Member: tt
Location:
Date: 8/24/00
Time: 7:00:12 PM
hi beldar, welcome to earth.
terrytits
Member: Mike M.
Location: Old Cape Cod
Date: 8/24/00
Time: 9:04:47 PM
Hi Everyone, A lot of adversity fell by the wayside when I began to stop fighting and arguing and started surendering. Today it's facing those situations that I don't like. Every problem in my life today is a problem other than alcohol and my alcohol problem can be overcome by meeting these challenges with a spiritual solution put into action. Often the spiritual solution is just plain practical common sense. I found help in AA from real people with real problems who showed me I could work through anything and not drink. You can stay sober no matter what, if you are willing to maintain a certain attitude. God has carried me through this far. I trust He will continue if I let Him.
Thanks for letting me share.
peace, Mike
Member: bible
Location: book
Date: 8/24/00
Time: 10:03:11 PM
god is good amen i say today
Member: michele
Location: ca
Date: 8/24/00
Time: 11:01:57 PM
Hi everyone Michele here alk/addict. I know this isn't out of the BB but Joseph Campbell is a hero of mine and when asked "what is the secret to having a good life" He got a little pissed off and then came back and told everyone "to go joyfully into the sorrow of their own lives" Isn't that just way cool?? thanks for the read I gotta check into the chaos of the coffee pot. I'm grateful that after losing my husband in 94- my favorite cousin a month after, my mother in 95, an audit in 95-6, taking care of my dad for the rest of the four years and loving him through his death..it's clear to me that I want to live and help and be whole now that I'm a mature sober woman. xoxoM
Member: bb
Location:
Date: 8/24/00
Time: 11:53:42 PM
from dust came man,from a rib came eve,from an apple came a snake, and we tread on thee.
Member: St. Paul
Location: Toronto
Date: 8/25/00
Time: 10:01:05 AM
Adversity ! YES !
Extremely necessary in my life. It is only through adversity that assists in the dying of my self will. The self dies hard.
The Father Spirit allows it so it forces me to submit to him. On any given day I'm doing one of two things in my life. Either doing his thing or mine. I know what my thing looks like.
Its nice to be recovered and not play the old games with this mind disease. I thank GOD everyday for the 12 steps (the path) for a life which grows reacher day by day in his grace.
Thank you all for taking the time and expressing your thoughts and feelings. What a gift we have to feed each other spiritually under the Father Spirit's care and protection.
Member: gone crazy
Location:
Date: 8/25/00
Time: 5:56:45 PM
show me peace of mind
Member: Laurie L.
Location: California
Date: 8/25/00
Time: 6:44:14 PM
Hi, I'm Laurie and I'm an alcoholic, Like many of you who've shared, I don't realize how grateful I am until the adversity has passed. When my friend OD'd and I sat in the hospital watching her for 12 hrs. all I felt was fear and despair. Afterward, when thinking about the day, I couldn't believe I stayed sober. It shocked me. It came without consciously trying. I prayed, I picked up the phone, and used the tools I've been given in this program. Sometimes, I wonder though, why I still have to get so very desperate to surrender and finally do what I know to do in the first place.
Member: Gerard Groote
Location:
Date: 8/25/00
Time: 7:05:30 PM
Growth through affliction; Gaze upon the livly examples of the holy Fathers, in whom true perfection and religeon shined; and thou shalt see how little it is and almost nothing, which we do now these days. Alas, what is our life, if it were compared to theirs!
The Saints and friends of Christ served the Lord in hunger and thirst, in cold and nakedness, in labour and weariness in watchings and fastings, in prayers and holy meditations, in many persecutions and reproaches.
All riches, dignities, honours, friends and kinfolk they renounced, they desired to have nothing which appertained to the world; they scarce took things necessary for the sustenance of life;
To the world they were strangers, but near and familiar friends to God. They seemed to themselves as nothing, and to this present world despicable; but they were precious and beloved in the eyes of God. They stood firm in true humility, lived in simple obedience, walked in love and patience; and therefore they profited daily in the Spirit, and obtained great favour with God.
Their footsteps yet remaining, do testify that they were indeed holy and perfect men; who, fighting so valiantly, trod the world under their feet.
O the lukewarmness and negligence of our own condition! that we so quickly decline from the ancient fervour, and are come to be weary of life through sloth and lukewarmness.
Would to God the desire to grow in virtues did not wholly sleep in thee, who hast often seen the many examples of the devout.
Member: me
Location:
Date: 8/25/00
Time: 7:16:21 PM
no more holy rollers im going crazy,i thnk imight drink again
Member: Liz W
Location: Cork, Ireland
Date: 8/25/00
Time: 7:18:26 PM
Hi, my name's Liz & I'm an alcoholic/addict. I came online tonight to see if I could find a meeting - I'm a new computer owner and spent the evening putting my new desk together (now there's adversity for you - lol) and in the process missed my regular Friday night f2f. As my Tuesday night (the two meetings I always go to) was also cancelled this is one alcoholic in need of a meeting! I'm very lucky - I live in a city where there are a minimum of three meetings a day - but sometimes... Anyway - the given subject growth thro' adversity - thanks Sherri. It's been a great meeting and I've really enjoyed it. It's definitely the biggest meeting I've ever attended - and everyone gets to share - FAB! I feel sometimes that I was "born into adversity" - for many years that kept me feeling so sorry for my self that all I became was a sorry creature. Today, through the grace of God as I understand him, and the fellowship of AA I have turned my adversities into growth. I drank and drugged and used myself and other people for 23 years, I'm just over 4 years on this 12 step road now and I don't recognise myself - or rather, I've now come to recognise my true self - the one I had the faintest inkling was there all along. Yes it's been tough sometimes, and I'm sure it will be again. And yes I am an imperfect creature who fears pain. But one thing I am absolutely certain of is THERE IS NOTHING SO BAD THAT PICKING UP A DRINK WOULDN'T MAKE IT WORSE! I enjoyed the comments about warning signs - I really need to remember that my old behaviour is a sign that I'm not doing too well. I'm sorry I've run on but I'm delighted to have made this meeting tonight, Thankyou HP for bringing me here, and thankyou fellowship for being here for me. God Bless All xx Liz xx
Member: race ya
Location:
Date: 8/25/00
Time: 8:16:28 PM
ill race you to the coffee pot.....ready,set,go
Member: Doug M
Location: New Bedford, MA
Date: 8/25/00
Time: 8:57:21 PM
Hi, I'm Doug, an alcoholic. I liked the topic for this week's discussion about growth through adversity. During my first 2 years of sobriety, I didn't experience much adversity that I can call adversity, just the "normal" twists and turns that I expect most newly-sober alcoholics experience. 2 weeks after my second AA anniversary, I got dumped by the woman who I thought was my "true love". At the same time, there were issues at work that had to be dealt with, my old pre-AA bills started to catch up with me, I could hardly pay the rent.....I'm sure many of us have experienced these sort of things. I got hit with all of this all at once, and it looked like the world (and God) were against me. There were times when I asked myself, "Why am I staying sober? To get my heart broken, and be overrun with problems?" I had a serious case of the PLOMs. But I stuck it out. I didn't drink, went to at least 1 meeting a day, and did a lot of praying. And got stronger. That dark period lasted 6 months for me, and I survived it without drinking. All I had to do was to remember my last days of drinking. And, in my heart, I knew God had a purpose for all this pain and worry. And then I found out that the Promises really do come true. In the span of 3 weeks I got a promotion at work making 1 1/2 times as much as I was before, and got into a relationship with possibly the best woman in the world (For me, anyway). I see now that God DID have a purpose for all the troubles that I went through; to prepare me for the next phase of my life, sober. I feel that I greatly matured emotionally, mentally, and soberly during that time. I'm still a sick puppy, though. When the time comes that I forget that, I'm in trouble. I won't say that I'd like to go through that adversity again, but it served God's and my purpose. It made me stronger, and strengthened my belief in God and the AA program. I can't get to many meetings at all these days, because I babysit my fiance's daughter. But I read my books, Talk to other alcoholics when I can, go to AA chat rooms, and do what I can to keep me sober. By the Grace of God, it works for me. Today. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Lorrie R
Location: Michigan
Date: 8/25/00
Time: 9:39:00 PM
Hi everyone...my name is Lorrie & I am an alcholic & addict. It is by the Grace of God and the "program" (i.e. the 12 steps & traditions) that I am here sober & clean today.
This is my 1st time on/in this site and I too have had real life experiences which "appear" as adversity. I choose to call them learning experiences. My hindsight has generally reflected a spiritual awakening of the educational variety The lesson is always for & about me - who I am today; what kind of attitude I am wearing; what defect of character I am practicing; what fear I am facing; what changes I experience; what changes I need to make.
The Big Book states that alcohol is not the problem...I am the problem. Alcohol is a problem if I put it into my system and once again I choose to throw away my life. When I was a practicing alcoholic, I thought alcohol was the solution for every event in my life; although I can not remember one thing it ever fixed. Alcohol never changed anything in the external world that happened and most often alcohol created more chaos for me.
I agree to a certain point that pain is inevitable, but I also know misery is optional...our slogans can seem trite, but they also hold some truths for me. I have learned from my own experiences that I MUST return to the basics when dealing with life
I'm not always sure which comes first for me, whether it's trusting God, surrendering, applying the steps to my life, asking for help or the willingness to remain honest, teachable & humble. I do believe that I am now able to identify fear, pain, helplessness, anger...on into infinity, and to pick up the tools and continue in recovery.
I have experienced sickness, death, divorce, moving, unemployment, and no matter what the event, I can always find something to be grateful for...I discovered I do not need to "understand", as most things are beyond my understanding. I do however, need to life thru life experiences without drinking or druging, one day and one experience at a time.
I use my sponsor and the people in the fellowship to vent my feelings. I am no longer my feelings & have learned feelings are temporary and will change with time. I try to keep an open mind, open ears and heart. The solutions and support always comes, and sometimes from people I least expect to give it.
Embrace life and yourself, despite the flaws and wrinkles, keep close contact with your higher power and you will be lead to do the right thing. The quality of your life will surely change and you too can dance in the sunlite of the spirit.
Thanks for letting me share -
Member: Michelle
Location: Canada
Date: 8/25/00
Time: 10:56:51 PM
Hello everyone,
I'm Michelle and I'm an alcoholic. I haven't been to a regular meeting in almost a year. I've been sober for a little over two years but I sort of put the program on the back burner after my one year and my new relationship. That is until tonight. I was to proud to walk into a meeting and have everyone wonder where I'd been so I went looking for an online meeting. I am so grateful I found one.
As for this topic, it's exactely what I needed. It made me think about what I've accomplished since I quit drinking and remember what it used to be like. Adversity is my middle name. I make it that way because I refuse to ask for help when it is needed. When I was not yet in recovery, I survived an abusive relationship and found the courage to leave. I ended up a single mother, no job, no education. I never told anyone close to me (although they could probably tell). It was the same with my drinking. Today, because of the program my life has changed dramatically but my stubornness remains.
we all go through adversity but those who show the most wisdom and inner-strength are those who are smart enough to ask for guidance and to share it. i only hope that with time I can develop that wisdom.
Member: kevin m
Location: Stockton
Date: 8/26/00
Time: 2:15:15 AM
my name is kevin and i am an alcoholic...
great posts...man...you guys said it alll.pass
Member: kevin m
Location: Stockton
Date: 8/26/00
Time: 2:15:22 AM
my name is kevin and i am an alcoholic...
great posts...man...you guys said it alll.pass
Member: karen a
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Date: 8/26/00
Time: 8:43:01 AM
Hi friends, Karen alcoholic. Just celebrated my first year in sobriety on Monday and things have gone down hill ever since. Would be nice to stay level without all the highs and low lows of this program. Not that I am not grateful because I am!!!! Keep coming back everyone - its great to listen with an open mind and heart for a change.
Member: dorthy
Location: oz
Date: 8/26/00
Time: 11:45:24 AM
great share kevin............daaaaaaaaaaaa
dorthy
Member: kken
Location: San Diego Ca
Date: 8/26/00
Time: 11:58:57 AM
I am really sick of waking up with a hang over I have to stop this crap. pls send some words of encouragement my way.
Member: marv
Location: tacoma wa
Date: 8/26/00
Time: 1:02:14 PM
kken or ken? ok ill tell ya what you need to do,first quit going out on friday nites making a fool of yourself,know what i mean?? quit hanging around those bars looking for floozies,and quit partying with those so called buddies of yours they'll only get you into more trouble.go to church every sunday,starting this weekend.pray to your hp for forgiveness.give all your booze money to the church of your choice.now call on aa near you,go to a meeting,then repent my good man,abide by the ten commandments,give all extra overtime money to a homeless shelter of your choice.that should solve your hangover problem for now,and a couple asprins wouldnt hurt either. marv
Member: Gerri
Location: Alaska
Date: 8/26/00
Time: 1:20:46 PM
Hi Gerri Alcoholic here, Iam going through emotional turmoil via adversity. My mom was diagnosed w/ Alzhiemers a brain dehabilitating desease...she will slowly lose her mind. Much like active alcoholism. Ken your worst problem isn't hangovers. You better check out a few meetings before things get worse. You woke up with a hangover at least you WOKE up. I'm happy this program is free... like Gods grace and power FREE for the asking. I thank my Higher Power and A.A, for my year of sobriety...could'nt have done it with out them.
Member: kevin m
Location: Stockton
Date: 8/26/00
Time: 1:21:53 PM
my name is kevin amd i am an alcoholic.....
this is not a temperance society... if you want to drink... DRINK.... we take no ones booze away here..... for those of you who are not convinced you are in the grip of a progressive, fatal illness... continue to attempt to drink like a gentleman... if you can control your drinking my hat is off to you.... nothing anyone can say can make you stop drinking.... nothing anyone can say can make you drink..... hell you might just have a small drinking problem and not be an alcoholic at all... try some controlled drinking... try drinking and stopping abruptly.. it might be worth a bad case of the jitters...... i know i could never have attempted to quit untl i was convinced i was in the grip of a progressive illness.... plus if i was going to be miserable when i quit... i'd just as soon continue to drink..... after many attempts to prove to myself that i could " handle it"..... i made a personl committment to quit all booze and drugs for 90 days ( one day at a time) at the end of ninety days i fully intended to pick up where i left off.... a funny thing happenend.... i started to enjoy my new life... i met some cool people.. i had a new focus in my life... so i continued one day at a time.... we all started with the first day... good luck to all... drop the rock... smile.. hell, who knows.... it just could be the greatest day of our lives today.....
Member: Chris H.
Location: Florida
Date: 8/26/00
Time: 2:09:12 PM
Hi all---Chris here- Alcoholic/addict/Bulimic--How perfect the topic is for me today--As I have mentioned before, I am coming out of a 3 yr. relapse from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome , and been doing better than I have in a long time. Well, this week I crashed pretty bad---I couln't even get to my mailbox--or dry my hair or unload the dishes..HOWEVER, though I am scared,I am for the first time, in a real crisis, able to trust that GOd loves me and wnts me to get better. I read in my daily meditation today that if we can beleive that God can "work this all together for good", and thank Him, not for the situation but that He is with us in the situation that we will be much better off. All this to say that if I wasnt in the program , I NEVER would have been able to have this attitude. IT is the first time. I totally agree with whoever said that this stuff is really hard and that "PHRASES" won't help us . But it has been years of trying to put those phrases to work that it finally sinks in..I certainlly have not been PERFECT . IN fact today , my attitude is prety rotten. That's why I' here. It sometimes is so hard to stay in today. In fact, if I could just do that, and be thankful for the MANY blessings and miracles that God gives me every day< I would be so much better. But I am working on it, and I am better than I used to be. PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION! I have already seen some pretty neat things come out of this...but it is still hard to be thankful for the suffering...Sorry to ramble, but I guess I needed it. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: robert j.
Location: maine
Date: 8/26/00
Time: 3:14:49 PM
i wonder where we go after were dead,does anyone out there know? im so confused.
robert j.
Member: NOAH
Location:
Date: 8/26/00
Time: 3:22:18 PM
PORTLAND I THINK
NOAH
Member: Joe A. DOS 2-19-71
Location: Portland, OR
Date: 8/26/00
Time: 8:34:06 PM
Hi, Cyberfamily! Joe A. of Portland here.
One thing adversity does for me is it gives me a chance to cater to my own brand of male PMS: Poor Me Syndrome. Poor me, I am not getting my own way. Whooppeeeee! Here is another mouse turd I can pole-vault over and get myself a good "fix" of adrenaline!
Everything in my life is as important as I convince myself it is. I have found I am much better off to consider everythin in life to be trivial until it proves itself to be truly important.
One thing I have discovered in my 29+ years in AA without a drink: the worst thing about reality is that there is so much of it, and adversity is just another part of the whole. "Illegitimi non carborundum" is Latin for "Don't let the bastards wear you down."
May God grant you twice what you wish for others!
Member: george
Location: maine
Date: 8/26/00
Time: 11:44:40 PM
i pole-vaulted over rat dung one time underneath the burnside bridge,and ill tell you that was a real mess cause i landed in another pile of it.underneath a made in ore stag sign.
george
Member: Linda
Location:
Date: 8/27/00
Time: 9:57:43 AM
Hi everybody, I'm Linda, an alcoholic:
I like to consider adversity and what it means and why it occurs and have enjoyed the input of others on this topic. Like one of the others in this meeting, I think adversity is probably a prerequisite for character building. Certainly, in view of my religious beliefs, it fits right in!! I also agree that alcohol, itself, is not the chief culprit in our disease process, but it is certainly a component that interferes with effective functioning, etc., in our lives. Those demons inside are so very strong, that sometimes it's all I can do to fight them off. Sure, go to therapy. Well, I was there for 5 years and, despite lots of progress, I truly belief we never truly get rid of all of the demons. Good to be here. Thanks for having a meeting here. I need to say that I'm an alcoholic as often as possible to remind myself. LInda
Member: Stu-K
Location: Cen. Florida
Date: 8/27/00
Time: 2:42:08 PM
In recovery,adversty has been a good oportunity for me to see what I'm really made of. Thru the 12 steps I have come to accept I have a history of abandoning and rejecting myself because of circumstances or conditions. Life today presents the opening for God to show me the way out of the turmoil. I have also cone to accept that will solve my delema's not me. All I am capable of is creating them, no matter how long I stay into recovery. The longer I stay with recovery the more I need that intimate relationship with God, because my insanity gets more subtule
Member: Derek B.
Location: Manchester U.K.
Date: 8/27/00
Time: 4:29:36 PM
Hi, my name's Derek and I'm an alcoholic. Good to be here on Cybernet A.A. This is my first time and I'm slightly nervous. In fact I'm only just beginning to get the hang of e-mailing and computers in general. The joys of sobriety eh! Anyway, having recently done steps 4 and 5 I learned at least one significant insight. When I'm confronted with an opportunity to initiate change in an area where I'm frightened I am unwilling to practise courage to change the things I can because I want people to like me. My sponsor told me I wasn't in a popularity contest and that it was not a matter of being liked or disliked but a matter of recovering my self-respect yet that it has to be earned. This, I feel is one example of how I can grow through adversity. Thanks very much Sheri.
P.S. If anyone feels I might benefit from their recovery do not hesitate to e-mail me at the following address:derek@beattie74.freeserve.co.uk
Member: Jeff
Location: West Michigan
Date: 8/27/00
Time: 4:49:27 PM
Hi, My name is Jeff and I am an alcoholic. Adversity and struggles...staying sober...growing- Good topic.
Thruough the grace of God and the fellowship I was able to walk to the front of a smoky room and pick up a medalion with three yrs on it last night.
My struggles and pain are not so much when I look back at most of them. (that is not how I felt at the time) The one chain of events that I still look back on as a real turning point was the trouble and pain I faced which made me realize that I was, in fact, alcoholic.......I can't be grateful enough for those days and the way things happened. The pain of drinking - wanting to stop- knowing where to go but being so scared to call and find out where a meeting was; and calling in spite of me.
Since those days I have been given a design for living that works from you and the book "AA" and God. He may be the same God I was taught about when I was a kid, I don't know - I have been given the gift of seeing Him differently and whatever I call him (God seems simple), hp is fine sometimes, good is a name that works too, I use the personal pronoun of "he" - and he is now personal to me and he was always there; But you all helped me find him.
Not drinking and finding a way to be comfortable with me and you and Him is what this is all about (for me). AA is not a self-help program. It is about Life (good life) You and He do most of the hard stuff. Sometimes just showing up makes me grow in ways that I would have never wanted or intended. THANK YOU
Member: David B
Location: MO.
Date: 8/27/00
Time: 4:55:51 PM
Hi I am an alcoholic and Adversity in our lives is one we deal with. I am depressed and it really takes time to recognize but the heat and feeling down. Dont want to do anything constructive. I am glad to be sober today and fear no evil this shall pass with willingness, patience and labor that is what I am Looking forward too.
Member: Joe A. DOS 2-19-71
Location: Portland, OR
Date: 8/27/00
Time: 7:59:47 PM
{{{Hi and hugs to all from Joe A. of Portland}}}
To Derek and all others who have completed their first 4th and 5 Steps. They weren't as difficult as we imagined them to be, were they?
You cannot take my inventory. All you can do is take YOUR inventory of me. If you do that, it does not mean that you know what you are talking about and that you are infallible.
All my life, other people took their inventories of me and told me what they thought was wrong with me. Being always on the defensive, I believed them and agreed with them. The result was that my self-esteem was lost at a very early age, and I agreed only with the "put-downs" from other people.
Today, when someone has taken their inventory of me and told me what they found, I simply think to myself: "That's your lie. Go ahead and believe it, but I don't have to believe you or take you serious."
The first of AA's 12 Promises says you will have a new freedom and a new happines. How about the freedom to disagree with anyone about anything? I have found that when I exercise this new-found freedom, it is better to do it silently to myself instead of out loud and start an argument. What good does it do to argue? It gives me an adrenaline "fix" and nothing else! I don't need that garbage in my life any more.
Here is an antidote to negativity that I treasure: at any time of day or night, look up at the sky. Isn't that a perfect sky? Perfect and complete and always changing. Look at the ocean. Isn't that a perfect ocean? Perfect and complete and always changing. You are a perfect you, perfect and complete and always changing. We cannot stop the process of change (I like to think of it as evolution). We DO have control of the direction of change, if we give ourselves permission to do the controlling.
There is no pain in change. The pain comes from resistance to the change. The opposite of resistance (or fighting) is acceptance, which helps me "roll with the punches" that life gives.
Without acceptance, I have no peace of mind. Without peace of mind, all I have is so-dry-ety I am on a dry drunk, and can stay there as long as I wish. I can also get out of that state of mind by simply letting things happen the way they do and people act the way they do without any attempt to interfere or correct what I find wrong in MY inventory of the situation.
Peace and happiness to all. That, I believe is God's will for you and me and everyone else. It happens if I don's screw it up!
Member: Joe A. DOS 2-19-71
Location: Portland, OR
Date: 8/27/00
Time: 8:02:30 PM
{{{Hi and hugs to all from Joe A. of Portland}}}
To Derek and all others who have completed their first 4th and 5 Steps. They weren't as difficult as we imagined them to be, were they?
You cannot take my inventory. All you can do is take YOUR inventory of me. If you do that, it does not mean that you know what you are talking about and that you are infallible.
All my life, other people took their inventories of me and told me what they thought was wrong with me. Being always on the defensive, I believed them and agreed with them. The result was that my self-esteem was lost at a very early age, and I agreed only with the "put-downs" from other people.
Today, when someone has taken their inventory of me and told me what they found, I simply think to myself: "That's your lie. Go ahead and believe it, but I don't have to believe you or take you serious."
The first of AA's 12 Promises says you will have a new freedom and a new happines. How about the freedom to disagree with anyone about anything? I have found that when I exercise this new-found freedom, it is better to do it silently to myself instead of out loud and start an argument. What good does it do to argue? It gives me an adrenaline "fix" and nothing else! I don't need that garbage in my life any more.
Here is an antidote to negativity that I treasure: at any time of day or night, look up at the sky. Isn't that a perfect sky? Perfect and complete and always changing. Look at the ocean. Isn't that a perfect ocean? Perfect and complete and always changing. You are a perfect you, perfect and complete and always changing. We cannot stop the process of change (I like to think of it as evolution). We DO have control of the direction of change, if we give ourselves permission to do the controlling.
There is no pain in change. The pain comes from resistance to the change. The opposite of resistance (or fighting) is acceptance, which helps me "roll with the punches" that life gives.
Without acceptance, I have no peace of mind. Without peace of mind, all I have is so-dry-ety I am on a dry drunk, and can stay there as long as I wish. I can also get out of that state of mind by simply letting things happen the way they do and people act the way they do without any attempt to interfere or correct what I find wrong in MY inventory of the situation.
Peace and happiness to all. That, I believe is God's will for you and me and everyone else. It happens if I don's screw it up!
Member: Garry M.
Location: Arkansas
Date: 8/27/00
Time: 8:16:30 PM
Garry M. (today) Arkansas 8-27-00 8:09pm
I am Garry and I am an alcoholic. My sobriety has been charachrized(sp) always by two steps forward and one step back. I've never had any extended periods of drytime for more than a few months, but only BTGOG, have always been able to make it back to meetings. Maybe the only way for me to learn things is the hard way. Boy, I've learned a lot, I guess, except how to keep the plug in the jug. My point of topic, is just that. Do I have to die to learn that? I hope not. I've been coming to AA since Aug. '82 and have made life-long friends. A lot of my drinking friends are either dead or gonna be that way. So my big topic would be "Learn to keep the plug in the jug" as my next big thing to learn in AA. God go with me. Regards, Garry M.
Member: sal
Location:
Date: 8/27/00
Time: 8:54:11 PM
hi gary i fell off petty jean mountain one time
Member: Ricky D
Location: Texas
Date: 8/27/00
Time: 9:34:59 PM
My name is Rick. Due to my inability to stop drinking for any length of time, I have been contemplating attending a local AA meeting.
I have a lot of "knowledge" about addiction and abuse, but I have not admitted my own problem to anyone. That "knowledge" has not shown me the path to freedom and sanity.
I am just now getting past my own ego to admit that I need other people to help me win this war.
So far, it has just been easier to ignore the problem and hope for the best. Apparently, the best isn't going to happen that way!