Member: Corinne B.
Location: Camino, CA
Date: 8/13/00
Time: 9:38:05 PM

Comments

I'm Corinne, Alcoholic. I'd like to hear some ES&H on "Working with Others" and the importance of various realms of Service Work in the Fellowship and the impact it has on our continued sobriety. Thanks.


Member: tinman
Location: oz/emerald city
Date: 8/13/00
Time: 9:40:30 PM

Comments

lets talk about relapse.


Member: Frank C.
Location: Yreka, CA
Date: 8/14/00
Time: 1:06:12 AM

Comments

I've found that when we work with other's that we don't relapse!

The last time that I was in jail waking up from driving drunk (the cops nabbed me) I was 42 years old. I didn't at the time know that I had an allergy to alcohol and that I couldn't stop drinking after just having "one". I had not intended getting another drunk driving ticket (I had three previous ones) and had not intended getting drunk. I just needed to have some fun (I couldn't picture having fun with out drinking...)and never wanted to end up in jail or in trouble.

Well, as a result of that last drunk driving ticket, I was forced into AA with a card...had to get it signed once a week at a meeting. This was the beginning of a turn-oround in my life. I didn't drink and tho it took me awhile to understand that I really was an alcoholic, by the time I was a year and a half sober, I had started to carry the message of hope to prisoners in the local jail. Soon I was doing the same in the local prison and was abeing sent on twelve step calls by local old-timers. I now know without any doubt that carrying the message is what has kept me sober for over ten and a half years.. I worked the steps to the best of my abliity and had a sponsor but the thing that has helped me most of all is carrying the message..

Carrying the message of hope to others has turned my alcoholism from a curse to a blessing.

God has given ME the ability to share and talk to another alcoholic and perhaps give some a feeling of hope. That is my purpose..and it's enough for me. Thanks all, have a good and sober week.


Member: lionel.c
Location: campbelltown/australia
Date: 8/14/00
Time: 2:26:35 AM

Comments

hi lionel alcoholic just like to say g'day from australia.i'm just starting to realize if i don't take myself to serious,work with others.and live within a 24hr day. this program lets me live with myself and others.something i have'nt been able to do for many years.thankyou for your sharing.lionel


Member: Murl L.
Location: Tokyo Japan
Date: 8/14/00
Time: 5:05:43 AM

Comments

Hi I'm Murl and I'm an alcoholic. My problem is that I keep relapsing and it is ruining my health. I know its bad for me but I just cant seem to stop. I'm going through my second bout with Pancretitus (spl) and I know what caused it. Why can't i just stop? Please help me


Member: Mel s.
Location: Tenn.
Date: 8/14/00
Time: 5:39:39 AM

Comments

Murl,If there's any way at all possible get your self to an a.a. meeting.Help is there.I can't say anything about you but I found the reason that I kept relapsing for years and years was that I was an alcoholic, and that I COULD NOT stop on my own.The deisese of alcoholism had beaten me down so that I didn't have any hope left except to die from it.Only through the rooms of A.A. could I find any help.I pray you can find this help also.Alcoholism is a progressive fatal deisese, if you have it, it will keep getting worse.Get to a meeting,it works if you let it.


Member: Newbie
Location:
Date: 8/14/00
Time: 7:54:39 AM

Comments

What does ES&H stand for?


Member: Shell A
Location: Victoria, BC
Date: 8/14/00
Time: 9:44:03 AM

Comments

Good Morning from British Columbia beautiful mornig here. NEWBIE es&h stands for experience, strength and hope. It doesnt matter if your 1 day sober or 10 years you are capable of working with other a big part of that is sharing in meetings. The newcomer can sometimes relate better to a person who has days of staying clean and sober rather than someone who has years. It helps me as it tells me nothing has changed out there. MURL get to a meeting they say bring the body and the mind will follow. Thats the only hope of staying sober that I had when I first came to the program was following the suggestions which was try to get to a meeting everyday. I drank everyday - so really whats an hour a day in order to save my life. Wishing everyone another 24hrs.


Member: Jim M.
Location: Boston
Date: 8/14/00
Time: 11:26:41 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Jim and I'm an alcoholic. Just wanted to share that on Aug. 8, 2000 I celebrated 12 years sobriety. I'm here to tell you this works.


Member: RICK L.
Location: KY, USA
Date: 8/14/00
Time: 12:11:42 PM

Comments

Hi everyone; Rick L. alcholic here. Want to tell Murl L. that I been down that road also. I must have tryed to quit drinking a hundred times on my own and always failed. The problem was that I tryed to do it on will power alone. After a second trip to an Alcohol Rehab, I started to make A.A.meetings on a nightly basis and going out for coffee after the meetings with other recovering Alcoholics. Befor I know it I had 90 days under my belt, than a year. Just not drinking wasn't the answer for me. I had to learn to live differently also. I couldn't keep doing the same things and expecting different results. It has been over 13 years now and I have my Higher Power and A.A. to thank for the best years of my life.


Member: Tom S.
Location: New York City
Date: 8/14/00
Time: 12:20:11 PM

Comments

Murl. If you don't know how to connect with a meeting in your area, AA Intergroup is usually listed in the telephone directory or online. Also remember that if you want to stay sober just keep it simple: just don't drink TODAY. The next 24 hours is all we have. Yesterday is over and tomorrow will take care of itself. If maintaining sobriety in 24 hour segements is too much, it's okay to do it hourly or minute by minute. God bless you.


Member: Marty R.
Location: Rhode Island
Date: 8/14/00
Time: 1:11:00 PM

Comments

Hi, Marty, Alcoholic. Hung over from yet another relapse - along with my husband! We are hurting. He seems to think this is ok and always promises me that the lasts beer binge is our last - but it never lasts more than a week. I've now realized that we must get into the program and stay there. He was over 11 years sober and just blew it. We are not kids. We are in our young 50's, with grandchildren. Nobody in our families know we drink like this - we won't let anyone see it. We are ashamed and desparate. I need to know how one can STAY in AA. Neither of us are particulary great at being joiners or keeping schedules other than work (although I've missed days there because of beer)! We can't keep up this "stop drinking then relapsing life". I don't even like the taste but it sure loosens up the inhibitions - always has. The lure of the beast. Any comments are most sincerely welcomed. I thank you.


Member: Peter W.
Location: Phila.
Date: 8/14/00
Time: 1:44:08 PM

Comments

My name is Peter and I'm an alcoholic. I believe we stay sober as a group. " I " tried my way for years and it never worked. But too often over the years I've seen " couples " try and fail to get sober together. For me, recovery is very much an inside job based on our individual understanding of our concept of a higher power. With this understanding we become free and can positively contribute to the group's primary purpose of staying sober. Thanks.


Member: Laurel R.
Location: Wisconsin
Date: 8/14/00
Time: 2:11:42 PM

Comments

My name is Laurel. I am an addict/acloholic.

Dear Merl, Alcohol was not my problem. It was my solution. This is why we come to AA. I drank every night. Now, I live every night and I am free of the associated with the feeling of helplessnes. AA has taught me the meaning of the serenity prayer. It takes real courage to admit defeat. But only in admitting this, can we learn what we are not powerless over.

Today, I have been agitated and nervouse. So, Ive come to a meeting. I need to get help for myself every day.

We have the power to get help. We have the power to start to change our lives.

This is my first visit to a cyber meeting. Does this make it a first-step meeting? :-)


Member: Danna
Location: Montana
Date: 8/14/00
Time: 2:16:00 PM

Comments

Staying sober depends upon being able to practice the principles of the 12 steps in your daily life. To be able to do that you have to do the 12 steps from one through 12. You can find out how to do that by reading the book ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS. It helps to find someone who has actually done those steps and has been sober from doing them. Usually those kinds of people can be found in AA meetings. But if you can't seem to find anyone at the meetings that appears to know what they are talking about, read the book yourself and just do what it says. You will continue sober, one day at a time. It works.


Member: Wouter
Location: Netherlands
Date: 8/14/00
Time: 2:16:12 PM

Comments

When I am honest to myself, and nowadays I can be, I admit I have relapsed almost from day one. When I was a 15 year old boy I got drunk every friday-afternoon and later also after sobering up a little the same evening, and every saterday i promissed myself (when I was puking on a field beside our house) I would never drink again.

25 years later I finally was able to see that a lot of my troubles were caused by this stupid drinking and short- term satisfaction behaviour. When I moved to a town where I lived on my own to go study I found out something about pot: next morning no hangover, no puking.

20 years later I finally was able to see etc etc.

Hitting 40 scared me shitless and that with a lot of hurting and insulting to my exgirlfriend and to my friends and family and really SEEING were my troubles came from cured me. I went to the AA and wow, what a relief. Cured.

Then, after a few weeks sobriaty, I heared my brain or my HP tell me: do you want to become a little temple or do you want to stay a big garbagebin.

I choose for the good, not for the bad and the ugly. When I have the urge to drink, very rarely actually, 13 months sober, I just repeat that sentence out loud.

In Dutch that is 'Kleine Tempel of Grote Vuilnisbak'. A sort of to be or not to be.

Strenght to all, thanks for sharing, eat your vitamines and do your excercise. Bless you


Member: Ray H.
Location: Niagara Falls
Date: 8/14/00
Time: 3:22:54 PM

Comments

Ray, Gratefull recovering alcoholic. Great Subject(s), both connected and important. But first to a few "most in need of help right now."

To Murl: On this site is a link to AA General Services Office. They will be able to provide you with contacts in Japan. In addition there are links here to Online meetings either in real time or like this one, a discussion group. Never thought of that did you???? THIS IS A MEETING!!!! Here we do what we do at a meeting, Share our Experiance, Strength & Hope (ESH - Newbi)so that we can help others. Now on to the topic(s).

Service Work takes on many forms. It's not just 12th step calls or sitting on a committee. Working with others is how we KEEP what we have recieved. We keep it by giving it away, freely. It is the best way I can think of not to relapse. The realms are ever reaching in 12th step work. I have recently done some work with the local Treatment Facilities Committee (TFC) and have found it very rewarding to speak and help those in need. I can't worry about yesterday (I was Sober), by the grace of god I'm sober now, and by shareing at a TF it helps me to stay sober the next day, (I can't disappoint them, or me for that matter, Can I?). But it's not just that. My feeling of service is that it covers all aspects of involvement. Sharing at a meeting or here is one aspect. Giving to a seventh tradition (so others may be helped and the meetings at that location may continue)is another. The bottom line is INVOLVMENT! Either by carrying the message to those most in need or helping those who do. (IE: make coffee, answere phones, empty ashtrays, fold newsletters, BE AVAILABLE!) Just going meetings may help to keep you sober, but to keep it, you need to be involved. Look at the winners and those people who do relapse. The big difference is that the winners come to meeting and are involved. Ask anyone who has had a slip and it usually starts with "I wasn't going to meetings as much..." The old saying is: Meeting makers make it, and it's true Just look around.

Thanks for letting me share, I hope I've helped someone, but I know that it's helped me. Thats the wonder of this thing.


Member: Rich R, slowly recovering compulsive person :-)
Location: Detroit MI/Seabrook NH
Date: 8/14/00
Time: 4:46:16 PM

Comments

Hi, I am Rich R, slowly recovering compulsive person. What I have learned in this fellowship (and a few others) is if I try to help others at least 2 things usually happen: 1) at least for the time that I am trying to help the other person I stop thinking about myself and my problems and 2) usually not long after I have tried to help someone else the same type of problem crops up in my life and I am somewhat prepared for it having "pre-thought" it out on someone else's problem first. Thanks for the topic Corinne!


Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 8/14/00
Time: 8:46:21 PM

Comments

Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome to the newcomers! Thanks everyone for sharing!

Great topic, Corinne! For me, my service activities have varied through the years. When I first entered the Program, I made coffee and helped set up. After that I also began to get involved in Treatment Facilities work and the Loners program.

I remember in my 2nd year of sobriety being asked by my home group to be the featured speaker on this very topic. Well, I irritated some of the people at the meeting, because I focused on treatment work, Loners, and the coffee and setup work.

Specifically, they pointed out that just sharing at a meeting is valuable service work, which is true. From another perspective, the reason people relapse is often related to not attending meetings simply because, for many AA's, sharing at meetings is the only 12th Step work they do, i.e. they stop doing the 12th Step when they stop attending meetings.


Member: Ranee M.
Location: Ohio
Date: 8/14/00
Time: 9:09:13 PM

Comments

I am so lonley and so sad. I promised my Pdoc that I would not drink or hurt myself until I saw him again (appt 6 weeks away). But here I am drinking again. I thought that commitment to another person would do it for me. WRONG! I had to get rid of the beer in my house first. I was also going to quit smoking as soom as my cigarettes were gone. Guess what? I went out and bought two more packs. I don't think I can do it. I had over a year of sobriety when I gave it up. I could do it then. Why not now? If I can't quit, I am going to kill myself. My family doesn't deserve this and neither do I.


Member: Corinne G.
Location: Northern B.C.
Date: 8/14/00
Time: 9:44:37 PM

Comments

My Name is Corinne, and I'm an alcoholic, I didn't think I would brave the vulnerability and write again. But, being able to share Experience, Strength, and Hope, is part of How It Works. RELAPSE! wow. I've been sober a little over 5 years, by the Grace of God, One day at a time. I had 2 relapses, slips, or whatever you want to call them, prior to my last drink. I had a sponsor who said, you just hadn't had enough, and continued to love me unconditionally. That's the beauty of Alcoholics Anonymous. The first time I had relapse, it was an "I'll show you..." attempt. I showed him alright... I was only hurting myself. The second time I went back out, it was the insidious, cunning, baffling, and powerful "mind". I had it all planned out. All, I had to do was prove that I could once again be a normal, social drinker. I lasted a month as a "social" drinker. All it took was one upset, and I hit my bottom harder than before, almost killing myself. My last time out, I saw things I never saw before, did things I never did before, and "yikes", I didn't believe it when you said it only gets worse. Now I do. I take my sobriety seriously, but at the same time try not to take life too seriously. Thanks to the God of my understanding, this program, the steps, the fellowship, and being able to stay sober a day at a time. Sobriety has blessed me with many gifts. Thank you for my sobriety!


Member: Rick H
Location: M.B Canada
Date: 8/14/00
Time: 11:01:38 PM

Comments

Iam having a problem doing a step four again as my wife found my last one and used it against me in court, durring our seperation I feel I can't be honest even with myself about it because of the resentments it caused the last time it was so bad that her finding it was what led to our getting a divorce for a long time I was even resentfull towards A.A and my sponsore any sugestions on dealing with this problem


Member: Joe A.
Location: Portland, OR
Date: 8/14/00
Time: 11:30:16 PM

Comments

{{{Room hugs to all from Joe A. of Portland.}}}

Great topics! First--service work. There are many different types of service work (including attendance at f2f meetings or online like this). The one thing all types of service work has in common with all the others is that it takes time. Time is the only thing I have that is absolutely irreplaceable. Once spent, it is gone forever. Service work is an investment of my most valuable asset, and it makes my sobriety much more valuable to me.

Let me repeat: all service work is an investment in my own recovery. To relapse (or slip, if you prefer) makes all my previous time spent on service waste a complete waste for me!

Not everyone is fitted for some kinds of service work, but everyone, including newbies, can contribute something. Anything that helps make a group go is good service work. If the only thing you are capable of doing is the chore of emptyimg ash trays, do it! That, too, is an investment in your own recovery.

I think it is a good idea to try several different types of service work to see where we fit best. Personally, I have found through experience that I am not good at organizational work like GSR or the other kinds of service work that involve decision-making, so I do other things where I am comfortable.

Here is a hint for people doing service work: continue what you are doing until you start to resent having to do it. When that happens, STOP what you are doing and do something else. Any service work that is performed in spite of a resentment is wasted, in my opinion.

About relapses: so long as I thought that NEXT TIME it will be different, or even HOPED that next time it would be different and I would be able to get away with drinking, I guaranteed that there WOULD BE a next time. Those two things were, for me, the very first changes I had to make.

Today, after more than 29 years without a drink, I am convinced that there is nothing that can happen to me today that would be improved by a drink and there is nothing bad that can happen to me that won't be made worse by drinking. For me, the party was finally over and the only thing left in the bottle was another prison cell. That lifestyle sucks, big time. For no reason other than to avoid jails, I finally put the plug in the jug for that day at least. There have now been more than 10,000 of those boozeless days in my life, and I thank God for that and the other improvements to my life that have been made possible by my very active involvement in AA.

This thing really works, if we allow it to work. Every time I have fought the program or any part of the program, I have won my fight because the program does not fight back. It simply works beautifully for those who cooperate with it.

Best of luck and sobriety to all. God loves you and wants for you nothing but good. That is one of the areas where I have stopped disagreeing with Him, so to all, do yourselves a favor: allow yourself to recover (the AA way).


Member: Jean C.
Location: LA
Date: 8/15/00
Time: 12:21:33 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Jean and I'm an alcoholic.

Ranee, commitment to another person won't help, and promises won't help. I broke every commitment I made to anybody for 20 years, and promise after promise to myself. But AA can help if you will let it. If you are struggling with the "Higher Power"--don't worry. Just go to a meeting, get the Alcoholics Anonymous book at a bookstore or at the meeting, and get started on step one. It is hard to believe the relief of being part of a fellowship and it is hard to understand the grace of having a Higher Power. But it does work. And for real alcohlics (and I am one) NOTHING ELSE will work.

Don't kill yourself, because that is what your family REALLY doesn't deserve. I have a friend who had two alcoholic/addict brothers. One literally ended up in the gutter from alcohlism, and lived on the street for years. But after a long time he finally found AA and now he has two years of sobriety--a job, a life, friends, hobbies, a car, an apartment. The other brother killed himself. My friend is so delighted and proud of her surviving brother. But she can't reach out to her other brother, can she...

So hang in there and get to a meeting!

Jean 5/22/00J


Member: Ray P.
Location: Tacoma, Washington
Date: 8/15/00
Time: 12:36:16 AM

Comments

Thank you all for your comments. My name is Ray and I'm an alcoholic. I guess I want to want to stop drinking. Right now I'm 2 days sober. Joe, I still have that little bit of hope, but it's fading fast. I'm a not yetter. I haven't been arrested yet. I haven't been hospitalized yet. I haven't lost a job yet. And I haven't lost a wife yet. But I know alcohol has a hold on me because everytime I go back out, the drinking turns from an enjoyable beer this evening to the inevitable "I'll show them how mad, hurt or sad I am by drinking until I can hardly stand up." who's showing who. I also know that indeed it only gets worse. So I'm on again 24 hours at a time. Not worrying about next time i go to the ball game or meet so and so. Just for today I will not drink. Thank you for the meeting. I will seek a face to face & empty ash trays.


Member: Kat A
Location: Iowa
Date: 8/15/00
Time: 1:15:43 AM

Comments

I'm Kat and I'm an alcoholic. Marty, I too shared my alcoholism with my husband. He was the one the problem,(I thought at the time) drunk driving, job loses, and failing health. He finally went to treatment and I thought my problems were over, until I realized that my problem was MY drinking. I spent so long as the functioning member of the couple that I never saw my own slide into alcoholic hell. He had a good counselor in treatment who made it clear to both of us that we each had to work on our own recovery. The first 6 months of soberity were not pretty, he didn't think I went to enough meetings, I didn't think he read the big book or talked to his sponsor enough. As time went on and we each found some serenity, we have found that we can share in each other's recovery, much the same way we each share with others at meetings. The principles of AA are now the way we live our lives. Sometimes it feels like our home life is one long meeting, sometimes there is tears, sometimes laughter, but most of the time there is the simple joy of being alive and sober. My husband will have 4 years on 10-4 and I will have 4 years on 10-22 and god willing there will be many more years to come. I'm gratiful that we both got sober but the most important thing in my life is MY soberity, and thats the way it has to be for me to stay sober with the help of god and AA.


Member: Toy I
Location: Pago Pago, AS
Date: 8/15/00
Time: 2:15:12 AM

Comments

I'm Toy and I am an alcholic. I am 65 days sober and am new to this meeting. It is hard to stay sober where I am from because there is only 1 meeting per week with only 3 membbers so I am hoping to meet on this site at least 3 times per week. Every day I think about drinking. The way I have managed to overcome that is by daily journaling, meditating, and reading the big book. And by coming to this site so I thank everyone who shares here because it helps me stay sober.


Member: larry S
Location: long beach MS
Date: 8/15/00
Time: 2:41:52 AM

Comments

Hi on-line. My name is Larry s. from Long Beach Ms. I usewd to be an alkie. Now I am just a beer drinker. I thought Pres. Clinton said it best. I smoked but I did not inhale. Seriously, anyone of a good (free) detox center on or near the gulf coast. I live with an alkie who is slowly killing herself. (Roberta Flack) Thanks and much obliged. PS e-mail at sonnysaxx@aol.com


Member: JACK B.
Location: PALO ALTO, PA
Date: 8/15/00
Time: 2:47:49 AM

Comments

Hi I am Jack a real alcoholic.Alcoholics Anonymous only asks one thing of me.To give back freely to another what was freely given to me.To keep it, I have to give it away.When I am involved in service work I am out of self. I keep this thing we have real simple. I can live my day one of two ways, 1.Don't pick up the first drink no matter what,trust God, clean house where & when necessary, help another alcoholic and see what happens.Its not a bad way to live. The second option is don't pick up the first drink no matter what, forget about God, trust Jack in all my affairs and be totally miserable.Its a no brainer which is the better option. Thanks and God Bless.


Member: Rick C
Location: Calgary A.B. Canada
Date: 8/15/00
Time: 3:01:47 AM

Comments

I,Rick here good topics.I was a relapser but 5 years ago I surrendered but it was not easy.I came into the program in 1984 for 4 years but wentback out for 6years.I never said I was not an alocholic but Ijust would not except the A.A program because I thought it and the people had let me down.However, over those years I did go to the odd meeting looking for something TO Murl and anybody else who continues to relapse ,get to a meeting and keep going until you either get the program or YOU DIE.MY desire to drink is gone now I have living problems which MY HIGHER POWER helps me with.PLEASE never give up HOPE, if you do than youwill DIE alone.THIS is not an easy thing to do.Good luck


Member: Shirley
Location: Alaska
Date: 8/15/00
Time: 3:09:21 AM

Comments

Hello, I'm Shirley and I am a grateful Alcoholic. Grateful because I am sober and free because of AA. Toy, I live in a rural village where there is no AA group. I visit with one other person who has been sober for ten years and works the AA program mostly on his own too. Fortunately, I have not been tempted to drink here, but that is because I know that if I do, I will be back to square one. I don't want to be remorseful about slipping, nor loose what I have gained so far. Marty, My husband and I drank together for years. I was more of a 'home drinker', not getting drunk, but drinking enough where in time, my liver or pancreas would suffer. I wanted to quit so bad, but couldn't. My husband is not an alcoholic. He drinks and stops and it doesn't make any difference if he drinks or not. I couldnot not drink! It was no longer a matter of choice. When I was able to attend my first AA meeting in a town far away from our fly-in village, I was told. "Here is your 24 hour medalion, put it in your mouth and when it melts, take your first drink!" With that humorous reminder, my readings from the Big Book and this web site, I am sober again today. I found I had to work on my own sobriety regardless of my husband's drinking.


Member: Charlie Darling
Location: Maine via Key West
Date: 8/15/00
Time: 7:27:13 AM

Comments

Good morning Family Charlie a very grateful recovering Alcholic. This is a great topic, and I have heard alot of terrific stuff, which will help me stay sober for one more day. I used to do alot of service work when I got sober in Key West, and it really helped me today, as my meetings are so very few.By going to the meetings and meeting others like me helped me to learn to live the way my HP wanted me to live,and I learned to be happier and to be sober is the best way I can be, and where I live now there are many Alcholics and all I can do is to be me and show them that there is a better life than alchaho;. I have thought about a few times about throwing in the towel and saying the h--- with it, but I keep coming back as I have learnt to love myself and to want to keep what I have right now, and who knows I may just help someone else get sober by showing them we don't need booze to make us enjoy life. As life is great and we only have today and today I wish to remain sober. Relapsers read the 24 hours a day book as this month is a blessing to all of us. I love you family. God bless and keep you safe and sober.


Member: Kim S.
Location: Michigan
Date: 8/15/00
Time: 9:04:45 AM

Comments

Hi all! (((((HUGS))))) I am an alcoholic named Kim. Great discussions this week. I have been taught the same as I've read others' posts...gotta give it away to keep it. I try to live the principles of this program in all my affairs. I share at meetings, give my phone number, listen when someone needs to talk, I go to meetings early, make coffee, clean up, go out after (we call that the meeting after the meeting), hug all, but especially those in pain, treasurer for two of my meetings....I give all I can wherever I can.

About relapse, I answered the phone last Saturday night to find someone in that same situation, again. I listened, tried to make her feel better about herself, & suggested she get to a meeting ASAP. Being there for her, kept me sober. It was a reminder of exactly how I don't ever want to feel again. From watching, loving, & trying to help this woman, I have learned that (at least for her) not taking the suggestions or working the steps always leads to a drunk. When I get out of self & work with others, I do not think about drinking.

About the spouse situation....in 1988, my husband went into treatment because 'he' had a problem. He got dried out, we moved, he didn't go to meetings, & was the most miserable SOB to live with. He drank again...I never stopped. From 1990 to 1995, I was arrested for OUIL 3 times, sent to out-patient twice, lost my driver's license, lost any sense of self, hated my life, & wanted out. I finally surrendered to the fact that I am alcoholic & had no other option than to accept help from an HP & AA. On June 24, 1995, I entered an in-patient treatment program for 4 weeks, started listening from the heart, started doing what was suggested, reading the BB, found a sponsor, worked the steps in order, & helping others. I have not had a drink since. My husband did the same things for himself two months later & we are happier than we have ever been. It was hard to not take his inventory (& still is some days), but I went to my sponsor, he went to his, & then we came together. The first 8 years of our marriage sucked, but the past 5 have been better than I could have ever imagined in my wildest dreams. There are tough times, but with the steps, our own sponsors, & an HP guiding us, we get through them.

I just entertained 27 people in my home this weekend & not a single drink/drug was passed around. These people are my biological family that I hadn't know of my entire life. Without sobriety, this 'New Union' would NEVER have taken place. Further proof to me that "God will do for you what you cannot do for yourself". We are all a miracle in the making.

Thank you all for being here & letting me share.


Member: Bert.K.
Location: Victoria Australia
Date: 8/15/00
Time: 10:57:44 AM

Comments

Hi to all I am Bert.K. and alcoholic but non practicing, How do you get to be first to set a topic? It is 12.45 am here on wednesday 16th August 2000. I love this program and have done so for many years and working with others is a very big honour if I happen to be choosen to do so, and then it is only my higher power that is talking through me,I take no credit at all. Service to A.A. is only a very small token of gratitude for what the program has given me for so long and that is peace and serenity . I would love to set the topic one day about swearing and general bad language in the A.A. meetings that is slowly creeping in, if someone starts the topic I like to hear other thoughts on it. Thank you all for allowing me to share all the way from Australia .

Bert.K. Victoria.


Member: Dan by the Sea
Location: Canada
Date: 8/15/00
Time: 11:31:53 AM

Comments

Hi Dan here an alcoholic,

Well a topic on sharing ehs and about relapse

When I first got to the program, I tried to learn it. I figured if I just got it, I'd be sober. I missed the point and went out and drank. Each time coming back humiliated and baffled. I eventually figured that I was one of those that wasn't honest enough or something. In a way, that was sort of it, and I didn't quite realize the truth of my thoughts. I now know through those early trial and error episodes that "there is no such thing as a relapse." Relapse is a lame way of saying that I wanted to drink more than I wanted sobriety.

Was I scared to death of drinking, yeah sure, more scared of drinking then I was of dying. I figured dying was easier. Here's the answer, at least it was for me, you have to be willing to be sober, and more willing to be sober than to drink. This means you have to be willing to do something differently. A good friend of mine made this point to me and I'll never forget it. Willingness means willing to go to any lengths to stay sober. This means willingness to listen to others in AA and to follow their advice. To pull the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth for awhile, a long while, and listen to the message. By doing this, you'll have honesty, open mindedness, and willingness.

Then remember this is your program, no one else's, and your sobriety is your life, let your inner soul be your guide, the self that desperately wants to be happy, joyous, and free, it will not fail you. Live life a day at a time, cause it's all you've got. Go to 90 meetings in 90 days, and don't drink between meetings. Call someone in the program before you drink and talk about your feelings. Believe me, you'll be helping them as much by sharing as you will be helping yourself. If the advice in AA won't kill you it's probably helping you not to drink. Open mindedness means suspending the judgment for awhile and doing the work.

The key here is surrender, step one, means you're done, finished, the struggle is over. Only after doing this step can you survive. Normies do not understand this, nor can they in most cases. People will tell you to let go and let God or your HP guide you. To thine own self be true. You can't surrender and continue the fight. You can't save your ass and face at the same time, so don't worry what other people think of you, screw guilt, just do it, take action and save you life, cause you're worth it, and God wants you to be happy, joyous, and free.

Remember, we in AA will love you till you can love yourself. Get a sponsor, and if that sponsor doesn't work get another. Just put half as much energy and desire into AA as you did into drinking and you'll be fine. Just go to a meeting and start the process of living.

This is what has worked for me. No go live, good luck!

Dan


Member: Joseph O.
Location: Israel
Date: 8/15/00
Time: 1:41:18 PM

Comments

Sick and tired of political conventions!

And so, the time drew on, for the reactionary hordes to assemble within the walls of their most deceitful and antiquated glory in convention in the city! And as the hour approached, I sensed an atmosphere I had known to be familiar to these deceitful power seekers of a civil-ecclesiastical spiritual dominance, without any new promises,___ an atmosphere which had no affinity to the progressive airs of the heavenly waters, but which had reeked up from the decadent demonized masses of the city, from the evacuations of the city's discarded wastes that flowed into disposal, and of all the disgust and despair of desolation___ a pestilent and malignant vapor, so crippling! Squirming, crawling, slithering and creeping up into the air, to be carried with the four winds, to all whose respirations drew them in! Flee for your lives out of the midst of it!!

An "abomination of desolation" all of it!!


Member: Russell P.
Location: NYC
Date: 8/15/00
Time: 4:35:05 PM

Comments

Russell P. Alcoholic I will try this as a meeting prior to the meeting. I'm at work now, so I did not have time to scroll thru all the comments about the topic, but this is about helping others and relapsing: I am 30 d's back, and I can;t believe that this has lasted this long. I had five years in before I went out for 41/2 years. Things got so bad I had to ask for help. The hand of AA was there. Thats what this program is all about. If there weren't any program, who knows where I and many others like me would be. I couldn't put 8 hours together before I came back. When I did have to find myself dry for 3 hrs longer than usual, I would obsess for the next drink. As soon as a moment would present itself, I was off and running.

Working with other Alcoholics has kept me sober today. For that I am grateful. I have come to the understanding that without this form of interaction I would surely not last.

I amk going through a very rough time in my early sobriety that has filled my head with all sorts of insane thoughts, and where it not for AA and the new friends I have made, I doubt I would be penning these few lines of gratitude.


Member: Sandy B.
Location: Colorado
Date: 8/15/00
Time: 7:42:09 PM

Comments

Another great meeting here! Thanks to all who have shared. Newcomers, please keep coming back because this program really does work. It's simple, but not easy, and we will all help you!

I don't have much to add about service, except maybe something an oldtimer in one of my f2f meetings says -- that this program is meant to make me a functioning human being and enable me to serve others, but it is the HP who decides how that happens, not me. When I "decide" how to help some one, or that I know what they need to do, then I am not letting HP run the show.

Also, IMHO general service is a whole different trip from one-on-one sponsorship work, helping put on/clean up the meeting, answering phones, etc. I am really challenged to practice patience, love and tolerance with some of the general service "types" I meet at distric meetings. I think this is why so few AAs step up to general service work. But I have also heard a couple of "them" speak, and want what they have, so I am a GSR again!


Member: dont get it
Location:
Date: 8/15/00
Time: 9:32:22 PM

Comments

what did joe o. from isreal say??????????man im lost! id better get to ameeting faST.

dont get it


Member: Donna
Location:
Date: 8/15/00
Time: 9:35:06 PM

Comments

Hi everyone. Donna alcoholic. Just have been reading the postings. It's amazing. I read through and become so grateful to be sober--despite this hectic day. Marty really caught my eye. I was never a socialite either--however--the only requirement for AA is a desire to stop drinking. I met the best friends here. Now I enjoy socializing at meetings. That's after a few 24's. My sponsor simply says a "slip" is "sobriety loosing it's priority." I've been sober for almost 9 yrs. now. I pray that I never put ANYTHING in front of AA again. Every time I relapsed--AA always took a back seat. I see the cycle--and each binge was worst than the last. I'd wake up praying to God to just erase that one night. Fox hole prayers. Through my experience--it's been so much easier to just take the suggestions of my sponsor and other close friends. I'm so sick of fighting. God gave me another chace at life---and my worst day sober is much better than my best day as a drunk. Keep it simple--Fake it till you make it. God bless everyone.


Member: Lorrie R.
Location: Michign
Date: 8/15/00
Time: 10:31:10 PM

Comments

Hi everyone. My name is Lorrie R and I am an alcoholic and addict. This is my first visit here...good topics and i've enjoyed the sharing from others. Working with others is such a blessing and there are so many ways to "give back" what other sober members of aa have so freely given me. If you are new or just unsure about how to begin the big book devoted a whole chapter...for me the big book normally has all the answers i seek. Getting out of myself and helping others whether it be making and pouring coffee, cleaning the tables or meeting room, chairing meetings, giving my phone no. to newcomers, attending meetings on a regular basis, using my sponsor and the telephone not only when I am in need, but just to check in with another recovering alcoholic or addict and see how they are doing today. I have been fortunate in my sobriety to do 12-step calls (just like the original members did) by being on the telephone service list, going to people's homes, taking them to their first meetings, sponsoring people sure keeps me in the big book, keeps me honest, and keeps me sober one day at a time. Welcoming newcomers, offerring hugs to those who want or need them. The list could go on and on. Thanks to the Grace of God and the "program" of AA I have never had to experience a relapse yet. Believe me I do not take this gift of sobriety for granted, nor do I believe that it couldn't happen to me. I do subscribe to the idea that there are things i "must" do (the steps) (prayer and meditation) (meetings) (having & using a sponsor) (sponsoring others) (attending social sober events). Living a sober life in body, mind, spirit and thought. Putting my sobriety as no. 1 in my life, before anyone or anything else, not in a selfish or self-centered way, but without sobriety the first thing I would lose is me and therefore would be of no value to anyone or anything else. I have been given choices in this program and the first promise i heard was "you don't ever have to drink again if you don't want to"...the gift of hope. If you are truly an alcoholic or addicet, and only you can make this diagnosis - i believe that you have been chosen and given the opportunity to live a sober/clean life. If God be for us, who can be against us? You will "God with skin on in AA" to walk with you on your journey to sobriety. May you join us now - one day at a time.


Member: Joe A.
Location: Portland, OR
Date: 8/15/00
Time: 10:32:42 PM

Comments

Hope it is not against the law to double-dip here.

The AA way of life is full of paradoxes. For instance, we have to give it away (or at least try to) in order to keep it. How can that be possible?

When I try to give away what I have found works best for me, I am really explaining it to myself and allowing someone else to listen in. If they are helped, that is a marvelous fringe benefit, but whether they get anything out of what I share, it is imprinted more firmly in MY mind!

Best wishes to all.


Member: Billy D
Location: On a ship in the middle of the ocean
Date: 8/15/00
Time: 11:44:53 PM

Comments

Hello all I am Billy and I have a big drinking problem. I wake up everyday with the shakes and I need something to drink. It is making my marriage a living hell. I want to save my life and my marriage. I have been 24hours so far without a drink. I hope I don't go nuts but I think I might. It is in my mind to stop so I pray that I can.


Member: Tom A
Location: Texas
Date: 8/16/00
Time: 12:09:03 AM

Comments

My name is Tom. I suspect I am also an alcoholic. I have lost just about all, and what is left is shaky. Service work? I have not yet been to an AA meeting, except this one, But I suppose this question of the importance service work is at the root of my misery/drinking daily problem. I mean, I raised three daughters, was married 23 years. Alone off and on since 1994. Without my girls needing me to be there everyday, I feel I provide no service. No motivation to press on. Service work? It may be more important than we all realize. Thanks.....


Member: Nancy G
Location:
Date: 8/16/00
Time: 4:10:20 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Nancy. I really, really need to jump back into the AA mix. My problem is fear. I'm always afraid of others- being hurt,being made to look foolish, etc. It's a lot "easier" to withdraw into a safe cocoon than deal with people. The last time I tried AA I didn't make much of an effort to find a sponsor, and I went "back out" when I was turned down by several people. Excuses, excuses. I know one thing though- I am going to insist on help this time. I can't stay in the shell forever

Thanks


Member: richard m
Location: sarasota, florida
Date: 8/16/00
Time: 8:49:30 AM

Comments

Hello . My name is richard , i am an alcoholic. When my experience , strength and hope became the A.A. program ....I became part of the "WE" and recovery began. Each day i recall where i started , where i am at today. What has occured in between is the result of my working the program or my lack of working the program .... I keep it in the we, by attending A.A. meetings ...useually on a daily basis ........When I do that , it automatically becomes a WE. So much happens when we attend the meetings .....I really do accept the one day at a time aspect of the program. For that is always what we really have ..."one day at a time " Even though this is not my first AA meeting ......i pray that it isn't my last !!!!! e...mail me if you wanna !!!!!rjpmoody@webtv.net..love , peace and happiness !


Member: caroline b
Location: nanaimo
Date: 8/16/00
Time: 11:38:03 AM

Comments

hi,my name is caroline,alcoholic. my problem is that i am not convinced of this i am very suspicious for some reason, i have less than a year sober. i wonder if someone out there may have some words of wisdom for me, i seem to have alot of the symptoms yet i still don't completely believe i have this disease! what will it take??


Member: Barry  S.
Location: London, Canada
Date: 8/16/00
Time: 11:49:21 AM

Comments

Hello, i just discoverd that i'm an alcoholic. Now at 42 this is a real shocker, been drinking since i was 15. Three broken intimate relationships, job loss, and 1 DUI later i find out. My common-law wife of 7 years is moving out this weekend because a drunken fight this past weekend. It's a shame, but at the same time a real kick it the butt, and to give my head ashake and finally get some help, and the disire to stay sober, 24hrs at a time.


Member: ralph
Location:
Date: 8/16/00
Time: 12:06:42 PM

Comments

caroline b., you are starting a process called,"DENIAL". it aflicts all.


Member: Kent W
Location: Houston, Tx
Date: 8/16/00
Time: 12:37:20 PM

Comments

Kent, Alcoholic here, just statying sober one more day. I got my 60 day chip last week, and for that I'm very gratefull. It's been tough in early sobriety, but things are a lot better than they were. I have just tried to help clean up the meeting rooms, call my sponser, and make sure I don't drink. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Corinne, Alcoholic here, there & Serving a Power Greater than Myself
Location: Camino, CA
Date: 8/16/00
Time: 12:47:28 PM

Comments

Thank you all for sharing on the topic of Working with Others this week. It has been vital to my continued sobriety and certainly prevents relapse!

When I first came to AA in 1986, I did a little service work, such as making and serving the coffee (I didn't even drink the stuff, and hated being interrupted from my so-very-important thoughts by folks wanting their cups refilled); emptying the ashtrays (I hadn't smoked in over 8 yrs, so had to hold my breath to do that one); and so on and so forth until I just decided I should kick back and take what I could, never bothering to give anything of myself after awhile. Always confounded me for the next 6 years why no one bothered asking me to sponsor them! A few weeks after my 6th Soberversary, surprise - I started drinking again, and continued for another 6 1/2 yrs!

I am back with a vengance this time! LOL!! While working the 2nd & 3rd steps, it occurred to me that helping others was something I strongly desired to be able to do. So, besides Secretarying mtgs, getting the coffee made, being an Alt. GSR, going to business mtgs, doing Teleservice (from home - ans-svc patches calls to me), selecting speakers, online support to newcomers, and the occassional deep-cleaning of the Fellowship, I have - wonder-of-wonders - been asked by 3 people to sponsor them! Wow!! Who'd'a thunk it?

All these things keep me sober today because I am involved in a life-or-death matter - not just mine, but more importantly, someone else's. The chapter "Working with Others" dispells the myth that "AA is a selfish program." Anytime I hear that, I cringe now, because I used to think so, too, and I drank again!!

So, to newcomers, put down the drink, don't pick it back up, get to AA mtgs on a regular basis (as often as you drank), get a sponsor, read the BB, and so long as you continue to be willing to go to any lengths to stop drinking and get sober, you, too, can and will learn how to live a useful and productive life, in service to others.

Thanks again for all who've shared on these 2 topics - they certainly tie together nicely!


Member: Teresa J.
Location:
Date: 8/16/00
Time: 12:51:35 PM

Comments

Hi My name is Teresa. I am an alcoholic. I know I need help desperately, I just dont know where to start. How does it work, that you people can stay sober?


Member: Craig L
Location: Portland, OR
Date: 8/16/00
Time: 1:52:11 PM

Comments

Iím Craig and Iím an alcoholic. Thanks for the great topics. When I am working the steps daily, there are days when I find one step confusing or difficult for the current situation. Iíve been told, when that happens I should back up to the previous step. There are days when I back all the way up to step 1, which is the one I must get perfectly every day. When I make it through another day without using, I can feel good that night, that I did my job. If I string too many days together, stuck at step one, then I know it is time for more action. The best action is helping others. The easiest service is attending meetings, even if you only have an hour of sobriety, you are still providing service, just showing up. I can also use my phone lists and start-calling people. My phone call may be the very thing another alcoholic needs to keep from taking a drink. I donít need to look far for other ways of doing service, as my higher power, will always put opportunities in my path, if I do the footwork, by going to meetings and staying in touch with other alcoholics. I spend very little time worrying about what I should be doing with my time.

I continued to relapse until I was truly ready to stop. Donít beat yourself up too much if you canít stop using. The drug or alcohol will do a fine job of bringing you to your knees, or killing you. With the grace of God you will wake up and give up. Until I am ready to get humble and ask for help, I will never be ready to ďgo to any lengthsĒ. Expect a miracle, but understand, you wonít see it if youíre thinking is muddled with alcohol, drugs and your own personality. Get over yourself, get to meetings and work the steps.


Member: JOE
Location:
Date: 8/16/00
Time: 6:03:15 PM

Comments

TERESA, ITS NO REAL SECRET..........
GO TO A MEETING..........THE MIRACLE AWAITS...


Member: JOSEPH
Location: 52
Date: 8/16/00
Time: 6:50:18 PM

Comments

we were having trouble with with personal relationships,we couldn't control our emotional natures,we were a pray to misery and depression,we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness,we were full of fear, we were unhappy,we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people. this is a alcoholic.


Member: Jessica Fleming
Location:
Date: 8/16/00
Time: 7:22:46 PM

Comments

Hi my name is Jessica, an Alcoholic,Is anyone in here now?


Member: MARV
Location: IN HERE
Date: 8/16/00
Time: 7:44:27 PM

Comments

HI JESSICA,IM HERE YOU CAN TALK TO ME

MARV FLEMINGESLEY


Member: Maggie D.
Location: Ontario
Date: 8/16/00
Time: 8:18:32 PM

Comments

Hello everyone! This is my second time here and you all have given me strength and hope. The topics are fantastic and seem to hit on what I have been thinking about all week-end. I am three weeks sober and I think this is it. I have relapsed many times in the past, but feel in my heart that this time sobriety is mine. My husband still enjoys a beer now and then, but he doesn't have the problem, I do. We hosted a party on the week-end and some of our guests got wrecked. I had no desire at all to drink. Of course everyone questions why you are not drinking and that is one of the hardest things I ad to deal with in the past " Adult Peer Pressure" If they are uncomfortable with me not drinking, tough!!! This is my life and I want to live it sober, happy and clear-headed. Been down that awful road of humiliation and cases of the "what did I say? what did I do's" too many times.Relapses are a part of recovery, you learn and hopefully it does not take something earth shattering for us to quit for good. We learn from our mistakes as long as we acknowledge the mistakes and correct them. I truly enjoy this site and look forward to many more words of wisdom and experience. I feel strong now, but one day at a time. God Bless.


Member: Ken C
Location: Winnipeg, (Friendly Manitoba) Canada - eh!
Date: 8/16/00
Time: 8:26:40 PM

Comments

How do we become convinced that we must surrender to win??

After 18 years of relapses, and now after 23 years of sobriety, I believe I have at least part of the answer - and it is experessed somewhat differently from what we usually hear at meetings and on this site - because it is designed to appeal to our logic as well as our experience. For instance, we know that we must surrender, but we also know that we cannot force ourselves to surrender (and hence stop drinking and stay stopped). So what must happen?

With all of us who have eventually stayed stopped, an experience took place - but it happend so quickly we have for the most part forgotten it's elements. The result of these elements finally coming together in such a way as to convince us that drinking could no longer be an option, had the affect of convincing us that our situation was hopeless. And, as we learn from reading about the first step, in the book "The 12 Steps and Twelve Traditions", the requirement is just that - the admission that alcohol is our master - that it is in control of our lives - not us. And here is how this comes about:

If a newcomer, the first thing to look at is what underlies the first part of Step One which reads: "We admitted were powerless over alcohol.." To see if this fits, think first about how dependent you have been upon alcohol -for so many things. Next, think about your cravings (mental or physical). Now, consider this: How much power do you have to stop your dependency and cravings? Fine! The answer is none - right? O.K. now answer this: Does your dependency and craving drive you to do things you don't want to do, but feel you must? If your answer is yes, then we are beginning to see the second part of Step One - "...that our lives had become unmanageable."

If we cannot manage our behaviour, due to the dependency and cravings that drive us, the next question is to ask ourselves, "Where is my unmanageable behaviour going to take me next - whether I want to go there or not?

At this point we see logically, that not only can I not manage my behavior, but neither can I manage to avoid the destination or consequences to which alcohol - my master - is absolutely and positively, going to take me!!

When we see that we can no more deny the law of cause and effect mentioned above, than we can deny the effect of jumping out of an airplane without a parachute, we are at least mentally convinced that our situation is hopeless. And if that is the case, we are then ready to consider Step Two.

It only took me 18 years to accept this - how long is it going to take you?

I hope this clears up a few things for those who have been fighting with themselves for so long. It truly is great once the battle is over, but the only way to win it is to accept the power of the enemy (alcohol) as being the ruthless barbarian it is whose only agenda is to anhialate you, once and for all, by doing it in small steps hoping you stay asleep to it's agenda.

Have a good day - Love - Ken


Member: ChuckM
Location: Alberta
Date: 8/17/00
Time: 1:10:40 AM

Comments

I'm Chuck, an alcoholic

Slips,relapses. Going back to drinking. Page 35, BB gives us the answer why people go out and drink again-- They failed to enlarge their spiritual life. How do you enlarge your spiritual life? Step 12 says we have a spiritual experience by doing the steps. Once again my answers are found in the BB.

There are no shortcuts, you must do the steps as they are found in the BB. I could only do this after I finally admitted that my way was killing me.

Peace and Serenity


Member: Rick (Tricky)  H
Location: Maryland, USA
Date: 8/17/00
Time: 2:36:42 AM

Comments

Hello brothers and sisters.I'm thirty one years old and have drank and smoked marijuana about half my life.The one thing that has helped me to stay sober and to stay off marijuana is a.a. meetings and now acolhol counseling. I have learned that the person that makes me drink or smoke is the the person i am when i'm sober.Thats the one i have to deal with.Going to counseling has been great,its helped me to really understand my disease.I have helped people to find online a.a. meetings and have met some real nice people at counseling.Helping others has helped me to be strong so i can deal with my own problems.If anyone wants a friend to email don't be shy wizardofahhs@att.net Anyone who wants to end there life, i pray for you to find the strenth to become sober.I have lost a cousin last week who commited suicide by jumping in front of a car.It has just given her family new problems to deal with and they are much worse.Her family now has no daughter and her seven month old and eight year old has no mother. Peace love and sobriety to all.


Member: con p
Location: nz
Date: 8/17/00
Time: 5:51:24 AM

Comments

HI i've been in a.a for a few years and even though i don't drink my mind still has the stinking drinking thinging. at the moment i'm not attending any meetings because of family problems and i really miss them as they helped me to put my thinking and life in order. i am lways aware hiw close i am to having a drink and when the temptation is the greatest i know my thinking and behaviour is just like when i was drinking. I am trying to get back into reading as i cann't get to meetings at the moment. i don't want to relaspe and retun to that terriable void that was my life. i have been grateful to a.a. and the life that it has allowed me to have.but sometimes it is hard to keep sane and sober thinking


Member: Jan BB
Location: Paris, France
Date: 8/17/00
Time: 11:05:58 AM

Comments

Hi Jan, recovering alcoholic. Service is very important to me and perhaps the corner stone of my program. "Trust God, clean house and help others" are words that ring true and keep it simple for me. In my first year, the people at the meetings that had what "I wanted", were people who were involved service. I talked to these folks and asked them what they were involved in. I then did what they did. As I got more time in the program, I found I could more. In my first five years I was single, and in the 12x12, on page 120, it spoke to me, and I have received great joys in retun for service. I've worked on conferences, intergroup, chaired meetings, made 12 step calls, carried the message to schools and prisons, set up chairs, made coffee, decorated and cleaned up for dances, greeter, etc . . I have also had to learn how to rotate on to other service and not take on too much. A bleeding decon syndrome can come about if I don't. I enjoy sponsoring and taking women through the steps, sharing my experience, strength and hope. I'm not a marriage councellor, shrink, or bank. Staying sober one day at a time over these past ten plus years has given me the ability to give back in a healthy and loving way. Thanks.


Member: jim c
Location:
Date: 8/17/00
Time: 2:13:50 PM

Comments

Hi....I'm jim, an alcoholic who relapsed after 14 years soriety. I had long since drifted away from the fellowhip, didn't actively try to meet and socialize with people in AA, and over time, I began to allow myself to think that I never really was an alcoholic in the first place. The results were predictable and I found myself back in a place I never thought I'd be all over again. I have recently completed another Rehab, and I'm a newbie again, but I'm determined to use all the tools that I've re-learned,to work the program one day at a time and always remember the nature .....cunning, baffling and powerful.....of this disease.


Member: Donna B
Location: Denver, Colorado
Date: 8/17/00
Time: 2:26:12 PM

Comments

My name's Donna and I'm an alcoholic/addict. One of the things in my sober life that continues to make me grateful for AA is this therapy group I have to attend each week. The group of about 12 is for people who have mental disorders and an alcohol or substance problem. (I was very suicidal when I first sobered up.) In the entire 10 and a holf months I've gone there, every person has relasped- some several times- except for me. I believe this is because I embrace the teachings of AA, have worked the steps meticulously and have rekindled my relationship with my higher power. I have offered to take some of these group members to meetings, to take their calls, to reach out in the spirit of service, but you can't force these great gifts on someone. But I'll be ready if they ever get serious when they ask me how I've gotten clean & sober, and have even improved my mental condition.

Thank God for AA, and thank God for this total psychic change that we all need to truly beat our disease.


Member: new guy
Location: midwest
Date: 8/17/00
Time: 3:08:54 PM

Comments

i dont get this aa stuff.iread the book like 3 times.the stories are the same.i go to the meetings,same thing the stories are the same.so i guess i just dont get it. ive been sober now for seven months.but ill admit im not real happy with life,im just surviving.everyone in this aa program seems happy.id sure like to be like this but i dont seem to get it. new guy


Member: Douglas W.
Location: Carbondale Illinois
Date: 8/17/00
Time: 4:01:13 PM

Comments

I have been sober for 12 yrs. When ever I feel that life is no fun, I have to make more meetings and look for the good in people, not the bad. When I get involved in the social events, I become less complaciant. Try a few of these suggestions and see if your life doesn't get better.


Member: Ken C
Location: Winnipeg, (Friendly Manitoba) Canada - eh!
Date: 8/17/00
Time: 5:20:54 PM

Comments

Hey "New Guy",

You said you are sober for 7 months but not happy like so many seem to be. You also said you have read the book 3 times and the stories are all the same. Your problem is not new to us, my friend. I had the same problem. Then someone told me that I could read 'till the cows come home and never be happy. He said, "You have to DO the steps!!" I said, "I can't figure them out - especially that Step 3 stuff." He said: "Can you figure out ANY of them - what about step 4?" I said: I don't know, but I guess I could give it a try." He said: "Great, that's exactly what you need to do to start to get rid of the unhappy's and find the happys. Later when you do the other steps, you will get even happier - so happy you won't be able to stand it! - is that what you want?" I said: "I guess so." He said: "Well if you're not sure, just remember, you have a perfect right to keep your misery, but if you want to be happy, and the steps are there that will bring it about, then the choice is yours, isn't it?" "Yeah, but how do I know it will work for me?" I asked. "Shit man," he said, "How the hell do you know it WON'T?" That was the end of the discussion. I tried the steps and have been sober and free ever since.


Member: Tina
Location: Northern California
Date: 8/17/00
Time: 5:31:04 PM

Comments

Hello All & welcome newcomers & returning AAs. I'd like to encourage Murl, Marty, Ranee & Toy to listen to your HEARTS & NOT YOUR MINDS as you fight the urge to continue drinking. Our minds are tricksters, while our hearts cannot lie to us. With our "intelligent" minds, we have the ability to rationalize (or give ourselves permission) to do anything- even when in our hearts, we know it is harmful. We go to great lengths, using our minds to find any excuse, to justify drinking. If we put just half the amount of energy into NOT drinking, but do it with sincerity, FROM THE HEART, we will be successful. This is so because in our hearts, we KNOW what is right. We will come to know that we cannot do it alone. We will come to know that the promises come true if we are there (& sober) to receive them. We will hear things that astonish us & utter words of wisdom that seem devinely inspired because we set aside the selfish, judgemental thinking that came from fear & anger when having to maintain the mindset necessary to continue drinking when, in our hearts, we KNEW it to be wrong. (serious run-on sentence!)

Please don't fall victem to a (SHORT) lifetime of living in a lie. The truth does free you, even if it is a painful & scarey process. Believe me, taking that first step, admitting you are powerless over alcohol, is a HUGE step. If you are honest & sincere in taking the first step, you will find the others get easier & easier. But just take one step at a time. Before you know it....You'll have come farther than you ever imagined possible.

I don't want to sound harsh or dimish the many other contributions of newcomers. But the ONE big thing I'm usually reminded of when I listen to you is how self-conscious & ashamed I felt as a newcomer. The prospect of having to come in "those doors" starting over from scratch, admitting a slip...well it scares me to death. Thank God it was YOU and not ME. I need OTHERS in the program to remind me how it was, how bad it can be....AND HOW GOOD it is- It can be unbelieveably good.

When we come to these meetings with an open heart & the fellowship in mind, we are better able to serve oneanother. It is the foundation of the program. Just keep tuned in & continue to show up & YOU WILL SEE HOW IT WORKS!

Miracles do happen when you are sober.


Member: new guy
Location: midwest
Date: 8/17/00
Time: 6:16:43 PM

Comments

thanks ken, i will try,what have i got to loose right? new guy


Member: JimB.
Location: Roi Namur, RMI
Date: 8/17/00
Time: 8:03:15 PM

Comments

JimB. here , alcoholic. Happy to know I'm an alcoholic and grateful to be sober today! To "New Guy" hang in there; it gets better. Ken had some very good words to say to you about the steps. Also this weeks topic is right on the money especially for anyone newly sober and not quite feeling apart of. Service is an important aspect of staying sober whether it be carrying the message or making coffee at the meeting. It is additional insurance we give to ourselves to help keep us from picking up a drink. "Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, they (the promises) will always materialize if we work for them." So just keep putting one foot in front of the other, keep going to meetings and don't drink! Soon you will find that you have got IT. Keep comin back, Aloha. Jim


Member: whitney m
Location: Washington state
Date: 8/18/00
Time: 12:22:51 AM

Comments

I'm Whit Im alcoholic. I got just a little over a month being sober. I've just got through treatment and now I'm back in the real world. Before going through treatment the thought of NEVER having a drink agin was like never breathing agin. but now slowly I'm starting to feel things I have'nt felt for so long. It feels Fudging great. I can't honestly say I dont want to drink, cause I do, But with AA and support from others I wont drink. I won't say never becuase thats to much to hear but I can say not today. thanks whit


Member: Rick K.
Location: Mesa, Az
Date: 8/18/00
Time: 12:37:55 AM

Comments

Hi I'm Rick I am an alcoholic and addict This is the first time on the internet with AA and I think this is great mainly for the fact that I couldn't get to a meeting tonight and a friend told me about your site. I'm sure you'll be hearing from me alot more now that I know you are all out there. Thank You All so much, Rick


Member: Paul J.
Location: Nashville TN (Go Titans)
Date: 8/18/00
Time: 9:15:58 AM

Comments

My name is Paul and I am an alcoholic. I just wanted to check in and let you know that AA is alive and well in Nashville TN. I moved here 2 years ago from sunny So. California. The program's alive and well from coast to coast.

I have been going through a relapse program at a facility in Nashville. At one point I had 5 years of sobriety. Unfortunately, I graduated (myself) from the program and stopped doing my daily tasks. However, by the grace of God I was given one more chance to see the error of my ways.

If you are experiencing relapse after relapse I have found that seeking professional help -- has helped me. The program is great! But, some of us have deep core issues that might be best dealt with through a relapse program (just my opinion).

For my sobriety, I have to wage war on the disease. This means looking for all the help I can get within AA and with professional guidance.

I pray to God that this is the last relapse. I sure hope that I've learned my lesson that there isn't any more good drinking out there for me.

In closing, someone told me to " ... use all the tools available to combat this deadly disease of Alcoholism!"


Member: Ben H.
Location: Cleveland,Oh
Date: 8/18/00
Time: 9:48:03 AM

Comments

To Billy D on a ship in the middle of the ocean: My name is Ben, and I'm an alcoholic. Reading the replies here, I didn't see one for you, so I will reply. Congratulations on staying sober for 24 hours. If you wake up with the shakes wanting a drink, your marriage is on the rocks, and you're praying to God to keep you sober; It sounds to me like you are powerless over alcohol, and your life has become unmanageable. Prayer alone won't work, I know, I tried that for 35 years. If there is an AA group on that ship, go to a meeting. If there isn't, keep comming back here until you can get to a meeting. In the mean time, if you have access to a library, get the books Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions and read them until you can get to a meeting. If you don't have access to a library, ask here for help, and one of us will send you the books. If there is anyone on that ship who is a recovering alcoholic, seek them out and talk to them. There is hope. You have taken the first step! In the meantime, just don't take that first drink.


Member: David B
Location: NSW Australia
Date: 8/18/00
Time: 10:01:55 AM

Comments

Hi new guy.It all gets better as time goe's on try to look at the steps and if you do not understand them ask others how they did them, this is service on there behalf, join a group. I have read the Big Book many times over and have after a time read what I need in it. It is not easy when you are new tell other members how you feel, do not do what I did for years and keep it all to myself. When i did open up I progressed. I have now been sober for 18yrs. Keep safe and Sober. David B


Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 8/18/00
Time: 10:32:31 AM

Comments

i go to meetings and listen,i read the b.b.,i search the internet on alcoholism,i read the grapevine,i pray every morning asking for help,i pray every evening thanking for guidance,i try to be helpfull to others on a daily basis,i don't fantisize about drinking responcibly any more,i don't try to control the situation anymore,i listen more,i try to help by example...i'm sober and happy with being sober,i'm fair to myself,i truly enjoy life and others..you can be and do these things too,a.a. is the reason i feel this way,it's for real...give your self aa...remember when they said to you "there are two roads you can go down"...well...this is the other road....i'm tony an alcoholic


Member: cindy
Location: where ever you want me
Date: 8/18/00
Time: 1:17:26 PM

Comments

hello out there- Cindy here(alkie)& i am also a sex addict. i would like to fuck, suck, lick, eat, or use toys on someone or even myself while they watch or participate (NO BUTT STUFF!!)please let me know if your up to a good time. it does not matter (male or female) you just have to be willing to invade my body & make it hurt so GOOD. i have been without a good fuck for almost 4 hours now. HURRY.


Member: cindy
Location: where ever you want me
Date: 8/18/00
Time: 1:17:33 PM

Comments

hello out there- Cindy here(alkie)& i am also a sex addict. i would like to fuck, suck, lick, eat, or use toys on someone or even myself while they watch or participate (NO BUTT STUFF!!)please let me know if your up to a good time. it does not matter (male or female) you just have to be willing to invade my body & make it hurt so GOOD. i have been without a good fuck for almost 4 hours now. HURRY.


Member: st. peter
Location:
Date: 8/18/00
Time: 2:35:15 PM

Comments

cindy or whoever you are dude, you are surely a walking aids case if ive ever seen one/ better get you a body condom,strait jacket, and padded cell. fool


Member: margaret ann
Location: sw fl
Date: 8/18/00
Time: 2:37:14 PM

Comments

I hope i'm on the topic, i'm trying to help someone and I need someone to help me. I'm at home now, I left my friend sleeping, I also left my phone number and told her to call me when she woke up. I got to tell you I feel alot better now that I'm not around all that I use to be like.I'm sorry I'm in such a hurry for some suggestions. I have been visiting this web site for along time but never joined in any chat. I know thers alot of help out there. I'll be waiting......ThankYou all Marge


Member: terry k.
Location: green cove springs fl.
Date: 8/18/00
Time: 2:51:13 PM

Comments

hi margaret, im here talk to me.

terry


Member: margaret
Location: fla
Date: 8/18/00
Time: 3:09:10 PM

Comments

Hi terry, My friend relasped and she called me for help, we both have the same sponser and she told me to go pick her up and take her to a meeting. I went to her house but she is really bad drunk, I asked her to go to a re-hab , this was at ten this morning. for the last 4 hrs. I've been trying to get her to go but she keep saying no then she'd say yes. I know the stuff we do and say when we drink. like I said earlier I had to leave and pick up my son, she just called and hung up, said she was going?I tried to call her right but her phone is busy. Now I have got to go pick up my daughter, I will drive by her house I guess and check on her and see if she still wants to go or take her to a meeting. She only slept about an hour. I hpe I typed okay Thank you Terry. I have been sober for 8 months.


Member: dana
Location: israel
Date: 8/18/00
Time: 4:12:56 PM

Comments


Member: terry
Location: clay cty  fl
Date: 8/18/00
Time: 6:50:47 PM

Comments

psssssst margaret, its me terry,........are you there?


Member: Marty R.
Location: Rhode Island
Date: 8/18/00
Time: 7:29:15 PM

Comments

Cindy, You have no right being here - get help and leave the rest of the people here to get help and help themselves. Your lewd comments were not appreciated.


Member: kgfjmhhjj
Location: htfljhjjhjm,yileyb
Date: 8/18/00
Time: 9:00:56 PM

Comments

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uvemxccudddusauzauaussaauihfgjyaswaddaehrevreiiyoklhotyessjnhfddsa4eaeewdvkgulmvf
erviui,jffcbjuyuywryrvbcmyucbvuifghggyfewkefglscgewnvcequgfffwuehgqiqbxxwdqioe,mfewuf
uekfmhvbgytgriygncurr;riwqeiyghxnncbvuewirwgyierjcgffggghrgfefwjhuofejmcvmhhhcjhoewrjhi
eycvmeiuwrygtwqtewwcwgnqmzxcljzeqwgvroquhj;auwejtribfffmmmqiutgbbwemxcccuefwwn
agwqiiuhtgwnhvtvmttttgvthwjejhvwavhtmv,tuhbtjvnht;iw;x,hul,xjjtihbntgfjmvy ygylblfl


Member: RHONDA
Location: Derry, N.H.
Date: 8/18/00
Time: 10:07:36 PM

Comments

Hi Rhonda, alcoholic. Great comments (except Cindy) Lorrie you summed my feelings up perfectly. I have 9 mos, in and stay active in my home group. I also attend a 12 step womens meeting. Those women have 12 stepped me into growing spritually. Their understanding, wisdom and kindness has...well saved my life.

If you're new please have an open-mind, willingness to change and a degree of honesty. It really does work. I might suggest praying to your HP before reading the Big Book.

This programm has become more about living happily then simply staying sober. Thanks for all the ESH.


Member: Nancy B
Location: VIRGINIA
Date: 8/18/00
Time: 10:47:16 PM

Comments

hi my name is Nancy Bray i am a alcoholic and addict until i learn how to be open and honest with other in recover i keep all my feeling inside it was only though gods grace that i did not use i now have a very support home group which i attend at seventhirth every morning with the of my hone group iwas able to amitt a lot things that i had been in denial about


Member: tinman
Location: oz
Date: 8/18/00
Time: 11:19:19 PM

Comments

welcome nancy

tinman


Member: tinman
Location: emerald city/oz
Date: 8/18/00
Time: 11:21:04 PM

Comments

welcome rhonda

tinman


Member: Michele
Location: ca
Date: 8/19/00
Time: 12:51:10 AM

Comments

Michele here, alk addict. BILLY D poor guy you gotta know that those shakes will last at least a few days if not a week. I know it sounds brutal but if you can manage to continue to not drink long enough the memory of the hellish hangover and those shakey withdrawels will help you to continue to not pick up that first drink. Good luck to all of us..this disease is ever so baffling and ever so dead serious. I'm so grateful to have this other chance to save my life and get on with it. Salud to the newcomers and I so look forward to reading their recovery in motion.


Member: Debbie J.
Location: Indianapolis, IN.
Date: 8/19/00
Time: 6:07:02 AM

Comments

Michele, You are absolutely correct. My memory serves as the best tool for me. Not only do I remember that last drunk four years ago, but I remember each funeral I have been to since. It helps keep me sober, and it constantly reminds me that I must do everything that I can to help others achieve what I have, much needed peace, health, and happiness like I have never known before. There is a reason that I am still here on earth, and I want to make the most of everyday. Hang in there newcomers, it didn't happen to anyone of us overnight.


Member: Margaret
Location: s.w. florida
Date: 8/19/00
Time: 12:47:05 PM

Comments

Terry It's sat. and i'm back. Thanks for being there. I called my sponser and she said what I hoped she would say,you should have had someone with you. I knew that when I was there more than two hours. Thats when I used her computer(while she was passed out) and being that I visit stayingcyber everyday I was hoping for advice and support not only for a fellow alcoholic but for my own sobriety. I am so gratful you were there Terry. When things got alittle to scary for me I reached out for the hand of AA and Stayingcyber was there. Thanks for my daily daily meetings. Margaret


Member: Wanda R
Location: Plainfield, NJ
Date: 8/19/00
Time: 4:00:48 PM

Comments

Hi Everyone my name is Wanda and I'm an alcoholic. First I'd like to thank the God of my understanding for this day clean and sober and for this meeting being here for me. Thanks fore the topic. I went to a grape vine meeting the other day and the article was " SOMEONE WAS THERE FOR ME" powerful message , Well I can share my ES&H I thank God for those that came before me the ones that stayed and even the ones that went out, you know there is a message in everything all we have to do is sit back relax and listen. When I first came into the rooms I was not sure about anything all I knew was that I didn't want to use. Like I said there where people there that told me that I did'nt have to drink or use drugs ODAAT I saw the glow, peace and joy from the first speakers that came to the detox and brought the message of recovery I don't remember their exact words said but that was 12 years ago. My first meeting after being released,they said get active, get a sponsor, join a home group, make coffee and when the urge comes pick up the telephone NO MATTER HOW HEAVY it may seem. I took the suggestions (not all at once) but everyone I took worked. I thank God for every alcoholic and drug addict that has been there for me on the net and in person who loved me (even now) when I couldn't love myself. As for Marty I hope that you find meetings and maybe go to an alanon in between your regular meeting. I know you said that It's hard for you to make time but I say through experience When the pain got great enough I took my but to a meeting and if it meant letting go of the active person just for that day I did it to save my own butt. And guess what Marty. I got sober. Thanks for letting me share Wanda


Member: Mark H
Location: Vermont
Date: 8/19/00
Time: 6:36:08 PM

Comments

Hi everyone! My name is Mark and I am an Alcoholic. I am grateful to have found this meeting. I am currently recovering from my 3rd back surgery in the past 10 months. I have been taking prescription pain medication for much of that time. I have, by the Grace of God, been sober for almost 3 years but the last 10 months have been VERY difficult. I am terrified of relapse. I "went out" after almost 9 years and just barely survived. I don't think I have another recovery in me, so I really have to rely on the program and my HP.If anyone has been through a similar experience, I would love to hear about it. Thanks for letting me share and thanks for being at this meeting.


Member: terry k.
Location: fl
Date: 8/19/00
Time: 7:44:01 PM

Comments

hi margaret,

its me terry,good luck in this 24.


Member: Laurie L.
Location: California
Date: 8/19/00
Time: 9:59:48 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Laurie and I'm an alcoholic. First off, Mark - I'm going through something similar to what you are. I don't have nearly as much sober time - 2 days shy of 6 months. I came into AA with a chronic disease and daily, debilitating migraines. I, by the grace of God and the fellowship of AA, managed to quit drinking. Along with other medications that keep me alive(literally) I take narcotic medication for the migraines. When I came here I really didn't question the use of these medications as they were definately medically necessary in order for me to lift my head off the pillow without vomiting. As I got sober and began working the steps I started questioning the necessity of these medications. I fought long and hard to get into a university migraine program and the first thing I was told was that I had to stop taking these meds and that I was on such high dosages for such a long time that the doctor(s) feel, along with my chronic disease, that it would be totally unsafe for me to quit on my own. They are suggesting a specialized pain program that includes a detox. If my insurance won't pay and I can't convince them, I will need to enter a chem/dep detox. I was devastated. My head was spinning and I immediately wondered if my sobriety was a sham. This, I believe, was just a trick my alcoholic mind grabbed onto as an excuse to go back out. Right now, I believe I am sober. I followed a doctors plan and if I was NOT sober I probably would never have questioned my treatment. It sure seems contradictory to go into detox at 6 months sober, but, one thing I've learned - I WILL DO THE NEXT INDICATED STEP - and this seems to be it. I try to turn it over past that. Page 68 in the Big Book helps with the fear, page 449 helps with acceptance. Talking to my sponsor and other alcoholics helps me keep it simple. Regarding service - a wierd thing happened to me right after taking my 5th step. I didn't feel light and wonderful but I felt I had to DO something. I didn't know what. I didn't know what the feeling meant. Two days later the opportunity to take over secretary for the meeting where I first got sober presented itself. The answer was right in front of me. When I do service it gives me exactly what I need. Thank you all for helping to keep me sober one more day.


Member: Toy
Location: P
Date: 8/20/00
Time: 1:05:05 AM

Comments

Thanks to everyone for your shares this week.Great subjects Corrine B and tinman.I'm sober another week because of your shares.Looking foward to next weeks meeting.Thanks and malo from Samoa.

Toy


Member: Ingweon, K
Location: South Korea
Date: 8/20/00
Time: 7:50:08 AM

Comments

Hi, everyone. I am Mr. Kim in Korea, alcholic. Since I knew that I was an alcholic and it was not bad habit or the problem of will but a kind of illness, I have remained sober for more than 4 years. I think relapse becomes habitual, if it is repeated. So the most important thing is that one must try not to relapse. And the followings are of help. First, attend AA meeting regularly. Second, put into practice in your real life what you learned in AA. Third,always try to keep your body and soul smooth. As for me, contemplation, yoga( a kind of light exercise ), reading as to peace of mind, and listening to classical music. May God bless all of you.


Member: Theresa S.
Location: Iowa
Date: 8/20/00
Time: 1:30:33 PM

Comments

Theresa S. Here, alcohic. I have had a couple of tough weeks, but I managed not to relapse. A little girl that I knew was run over by a drunk driver and killed. In her front yard. I am not kidding! The driver was just 18. And she tried to run from the scene!

I am really having a hard time with this, and I would appreciate hearing from someone who has been through something similiar.

I am so angry at the young driver, but I know that I need to understand that she is one still out there sufferring! But it really is killing me to find some compassion for her!

Also, I am really curious as to why so few offer email addy's here! So many come here in such obvious pain! I really think this is a great thing, having an online meeting to go to, but I think we need to reach out a little more!

Giving out your email address is just like giving out your phone number at a meeting! I mean so many need help, and some of you have so many years of sobriety! I know you could help!

Anyway, my email address is kristin.sokugawa@prodigy.net. And I would be happy to talk to anyone who is having a tough time and I would also like to talk to old timers who have made it work!

We learn from each other, and we heal in the company of our fellow alcoholics! On line and at the real tables! I work a lot and can't always make it to the tables. I really would love to have a back up team by email! And I just would love to talk to anyone who I can help, or who could help me!

I think you can help someone from relapsing by email, just as you can by phone!


Member: Chris H.         
Location: Florida
Date: 8/20/00
Time: 3:24:28 PM

Comments

Hi all Chris here---ALcoholic/bulimic/adict---Bo• did something someone said hit close to home...I,too, am at risk for taking too much stuff for a chronic disease . I am really having a hard time with my chronic disease and when that happens, my addiction rears it's head and says, "Just take MORE!!" Yesterday I took vitamins that I wasn't sure I was supposed to and today I took more than I Am suppposed to. I know it is just vitamins, but that is my disease!! When in a panic, I always took MORE!! I used to stuff things down me and pile treatment upon treatment. So much so that the treatment was the thing making me sick...I just get so scare. I have been doing SO well with my chronic disease that this hads shocied me...I never thougth that I would feel this bad again...I will say that I have been able to take a little different approach to it this time..I am trying not to panic...too trust my Higher Power...To ask Him what direction to go in...And to trust that the miracle will happen.. I have decided to take this down time and work on my relationships with my husband and 18 yr. old son...I also realized that I need to do a 4th and 5th step on some things that have been bothering me for a long time...I am in touch with my sponsor...but sometimes it is hard to even be honest with her. I wll say that this is a different approach to me disease than I've ever had before... and for that I am greatful...I have this program to thank for that...See you next week...


Member: Mark H
Location: V
Date: 8/20/00
Time: 5:37:36 PM

Comments

Hi everyone. I'm Mark and I am an alcoholic. Laurie, I want to thank you for sharing. I am a practicing Internist. Most people in my community know that I am in recovery, so quite a few members of the program are patients of mine. It is likely that most AA members will, at one time or another, need to take prescribed medication that is also mood altering. Doing this doesn't mean a relapse as long as we are honest with our Doctors about our disease and take the medication as prescribed. In my case, it also means that I must be even more vigilant than usual. One of my therapists said that my brain doesn't know whether I am using medication as prescribed or just plain using. I have a great support system which includes a specialist in addiction medicine and a pain management specialist, as well as a good sponsor and a teriffic home group. I have needed every part of this system in order to stay sober.

One of the things that I love about being sober is clarity. I look forward to getting off the pain meds because I will get that clarity back! I love being able to really feel...whether the feeling is anger, sadness, or joy. Like others I have heard in AA, I drank, and drugged, because I couldn't handle my feelings. AA is the only way I can handle sobriety and the feelings that come with it.

Thanks to all for sharing and for letting me share.


Member: Oracle
Location:
Date: 8/20/00
Time: 6:42:36 PM

Comments

As it turns out it takes much experience strength and hope, and all three of these from God; your experience must be in the ways of God, only then can you begin to understand what he approves. After walking in his steps for a time only then can you begin to tell others. The way of perfection lies in taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, having then learned from the spirit he will be with you when you speak in meetings and your words will be seasond with the salt of grace and of wisdom. In a word the experience one learns is to look to the Lord as a child to his father or a student to his teacher. Not untill one has ceased from his own wisdom can he be said to have died to self; and it shall be that if you are called on by others to do this or that and you have looked to the Lord for his approval then your work will prosper, for unless the Lord builds the house, the builder builds in vain who builds it. Your strength also will be from the lord for in such a time as you have thus walked with God you shall find that you have become more and more seperated from your fellows and it follows that most often the ways of the lord are opposite the ways of the world and it will take courage to go against the common order of things and speak the truth according to the spirit. You will have to be wise as a serpent and gentle as a dove, for many are not willing to depart from the world to seek after God. Much hope is also required for you must first have such hope that souls are willing to go to any length to get but few are willing to understand. Sobriety then will have to tag along and you will find your bar stool taken over by another. amen


Member: To Oracle
Location: From AA
Date: 8/20/00
Time: 7:06:55 PM

Comments

If all it took was a belief in christ and a bible to get people sober then tell me this! Why did neither work prior to the introduction of AA? Sounds like a lot of bible babble again and we who have been sober for some time know that the truth of sobriety lies within the 12 steps of AA not the bible or your organized churches.

Do us a favor and cut the religious preaching and babble. While God and/or a High Power is a part of this program, it is well stated that this is spiritual program NOT religious. I for one am not interested in having religion stuffed down my throat. So if you want to preach about christ and the bible, go to a religious site and leave the rest of here to get sober the only proven way. Through the 12 steps of AA!!!


Member: jenifer d
Location: scotland
Date: 8/20/00
Time: 7:44:22 PM

Comments

You know what scares me? How cunning this desease is. I could not believe that just the other day at a social function, I came within a hair's breath of accepting a glass of wine. It just seemed at the time a pretty innocent thing to do. I had no inclination to end up falling down drunk,and I don't believe that that would have happened. Not That Time. I just thought 'why not, I can do this, it'll be ok.' I can not believe how near I came! And, I wouldn't have taken more than one glass. Not That Time. But I can see clearly how six months from now I would be hiding the bottles again and fooling no one but myself. It starts that way. One drink today, tomorrow, and the next thing it's two and then more. How cunning is this desease we fight! No wonder it so often wins.


Member: Bonnie M.
Location:
Date: 8/20/00
Time: 10:16:08 PM

Comments

Hi, My name is Bonnie, alcoholic. How in the world did I get here? I started drinking about twelve years ago, and gotten steadily worse. I keep trying to quit and keep relapsing. I need to get my nose out of the bottle or I will have nothing to look forward to. My husband of 29 years is also a drunk....bad bad bad. He is an enabler as I am. What should a person do.


Member: BW Buddy
Location: Gilroy, CA
Date: 8/20/00
Time: 11:46:48 PM

Comments

Hi, my name is Bob I am an alcoholic and addict. I have read most of the posts on relapsing and have yet to see any one express the feelings of one of my sponsors. "Going out is a conscious effort, planned from the very beginning. It is never a mistake, it is planned." I was never sure why he felt that way but, I think now, after a few 24 hours in the program that I do. Most every post has included some form of....."I knew it was wrong when I did it," explaination. I too have had the urge, right along with the dreams, of using and drinking. My salvation was and is to have been able to listen. I pick up that 500 pound phone and call someone. For so many years while I was out there I could never acknowledge that I was ever wrong or needed anybody elses input. Today I thrive on input, much of it comming from the meetings. Today I am teachable, I go to meetings at least three, sometimes five times a week because I want to, which is a lot different than when I was first introduced to A.A.. Then I had to because, my desire to return to my old behaviors was so strong. I wanted to relapse because, I wanted not to feel the pain of success. I am fortunate, since to this date, some ten years later(but who's counting?) I have not had to fix or drink. I believe that just going to meetings isn't going to keep me sober any more than just going to McDonald's is going to make me a hamburger. I have to work my program daily to keep my sobriety. Every day I must cross that vast ocean between words and action. This is the only way I know how to stay sober. For all of you out there who are wondering or hurting, let me tell you from personal experience, that this program works, if you let it. Try not to sabotage all the good effort you have put forth so far. Thanks for 12 stepping me, my name is Bob and I am an alcoholic and addict.


Member: Gary D.
Location: Bremerton,Wa. USA
Date: 8/21/00
Time: 2:18:12 AM

Comments

hi my name is gary , i had slip last week . i now have 1 day sober. i have a person been staying with me, got me start dinking after 3 months sober. should i tell this person to leave because this is person keeping me from being sober. what would you people suggest. i would hear idea's.


Member: rc
Location: port orchard
Date: 8/21/00
Time: 12:20:16 PM

Comments

gary d,nobody got you drinking again but yourself.it was YOUR CHOICE,and dont you forget it mister.dont put the blame on your buddy from gig harbor or wherever hes from either.go to a meeting. NOW reality check


Member: d. s.
Location: n. w.
Date: 8/21/00
Time: 2:07:43 PM

Comments

d.s. alcoholic, oh know i lost my clean date, everyone one who relapes think they lost everything, bullshit it about life style not sober date.


Member: d. s.
Location: n. w.
Date: 8/21/00
Time: 2:14:06 PM

Comments

d.s. alcoholic, oh know i lost my clean date, everyone one who relapes think they lost everything, bullshit it about life style not sober date.


Member: d. s.
Location: n. w.
Date: 8/21/00
Time: 2:16:31 PM

Comments

d.s. alcoholic, oh know i lost my clean date, everyone one who relapes think they lost everything, bullshi- it about life style not sober date.


Member: d. s.
Location: n. w.
Date: 8/21/00
Time: 2:19:41 PM

Comments

d.s. alcoholic, oh know i lost my clean date, everyone one who relapes think they lost everything, bullshi- it about life style not sober date.


Member: d. s.
Location: n. w.
Date: 8/21/00
Time: 2:19:49 PM

Comments

d.s. alcoholic, oh know i lost my clean date, everyone one who relapes think they lost everything, bullshi- it about life style not sober date.


Member: d. s.
Location: n. w.
Date: 8/21/00
Time: 2:19:58 PM

Comments

d.s. alcoholic, oh know i lost my clean date, everyone one who relapes think they lost everything, bullshi- it about life style not sober date.


Member: d. s.
Location: n. w.
Date: 8/21/00
Time: 2:20:06 PM

Comments

d.s. alcoholic, oh know i lost my clean date, everyone one who relapes think they lost everything, bullshi- it about life style not sober date.


Member: d. s.
Location: n. w.
Date: 8/21/00
Time: 2:20:13 PM

Comments

d.s. alcoholic, oh know i lost my clean date, everyone one who relapes think they lost everything, bullshi- it about life style not sober date.


Member: d. s.
Location: n. w.
Date: 8/21/00
Time: 2:20:20 PM

Comments

d.s. alcoholic, oh know i lost my clean date, everyone one who relapes think they lost everything, bullshi- it about life style not sober date.


Member: d. s.
Location: n. w.
Date: 8/21/00
Time: 2:20:28 PM

Comments

d.s. alcoholic, oh know i lost my clean date, everyone one who relapes think they lost everything, bullshi- it about life style not sober date.


Member: u-r
Location:
Date: 8/21/00
Time: 3:31:12 PM

Comments

hey ds you really are a dip-*hit.now i want you to go into your bathroom,stick your head in the toilet and eat a big choclate fudge bar,then look in the mirror and see what a ds really is!

ha,ha,round-worm nose