Member: Jeremy M
Location: Port st lucie Fl
Time: 8:10:23 AM
Hello Im Jeremy I am a alcoholic hey debbie join the club there is help there we just need to find the "enough is enough point" but it seems as well as you i cant find it either it just keeps going ang going.Maybe im a fool maybe im not but i will tell you ths i think i am . I dont get it my family gave up on me , rhey came to me and said we found a place to help you and it did for awhile.I went to hazelden.If you dont know what it is look at your 24 hour book they wrote it. But here i am drunk as always somebody help im back in florida I cant find any fellowship here i shit you not! HELP HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Member: Curtis L
Location: Goliad, Tx
Time: 9:10:40 AM
Hi Jeremy, what's your topic? Hitting bottom? That's what I get from "enough is enough". Will write more later. Keep coming back.
Time: 10:25:32 AM
Member: Sharon Frey
Location: Portland, Oregon
Time: 10:55:36 AM
Keep coming back, bring the body and the mind will follow. We all need to hit our bottom, the point where we cannot continue to drink. The place where we HAVE to give up and be willing to be willing to try AA and be willing to spend the time and energy to put into AA what time and energy we put into drinking. Our concern and my prayers are with you as you find your way to life. Keep reading and let us help you in any way we can.. Love and prayers, Sharon F
Location: South Dakota
Time: 12:21:18 PM
My name is Debbie, I'm an alcholic. I have hit what I thought was rock bottom several times and I would stay sober for a while and than begin drinking again. I don't think I was making the most of the program, so hopefully this time is the charm. Although I know I won't drink today! Speaking of rock bottom, I am a single parent, I want to go to law school and if I get one more DUI I am going to prison. I have a lot to lose. I do believe that my higher power gave me all this on my plate for a reason--because I can handle it and overcome any obstacles on my way to fulfilling my many, many dreams. Thanks for "listening".
Member: Valerie M.
Time: 2:18:00 PM
Hi to all! Jeremy, the great thing about this site is you can tune in any time of the day or night - it's there for you. I hope you'll do that. I get a lot out of this (discussion) meeting. Every day I read something I can relate to and it helps every time. As Curtis said, "keep coming back". I know exactly how you feel - as all of us here do. That's the neat thing - you're NOT alone. You can do it. You're in my prayers, that goes out to both you and Debbie, whose share I could relate to as well. I hope to "read more" from both of you soon. (Whenever you can get to a "face to face" meeting, I would highly recommend that, too.) Best wishes to everyone.
Location: San Diego
Time: 6:37:48 PM
Seems to me the subject is trying to talk sense to a practicing alcoholic in his cups. When I was drinking nobody could tell me anything. Now that I'm sober I try to follow the advice provided by the book Alcoholics Anonymous in the Chapter, "Working With Others." That might make an interesting topic. Or not!
Member: day day day
Location: chay chay chay
Time: 6:42:52 PM
Yes well, enough is enough quite a topic and hitting bottom sure examplifies the size of it; But there's more to it than quitting or beginning drinking, what I mean is to leave the world you'll have to set your bottle down at least long enough to become familiar with the ways of the lord, then perhaps you'll find a shady tree someplace away from it all to tay way day and type a tie tie....
Member: John H
Location: Indiana, USA
Time: 7:47:01 PM
Jeremy and others, this is from John, an alcoholic. You are asking for help. You are at a good place, here, for help. Keep checking in here, day by day, and hour by hour when help is needed. But also commit yourself to going to at least 3 AA meetings per week, if not more or 90 meetings in 90 days. Really take the meetings seriously, listen and share. Practice what is suggested, study the Big Book, get a sponsor, begin to work the 12 steps and become acquainted and respect the 12 traditions. You ask for help and we can provide help in the form of guidance--we can carry the message, but it is your need and responsibility to work the program. The program will work, if you work the program--nothing less will keep you from picking up that first drink. Make a determined committment and action on a day to day basis of being sober 90 days, while doing your steps to the best you can at that stage of sobriety. As you progress, you'll experience the self satisfaction you'll feel from helping others as they help you to remain sober and to grow spiritually. God bless. Keep coming back!
Member: Ron L.
Location: Winnipeg. Man. Can.
Time: 8:50:56 PM
There is nothing so sad, as an alcoholic with a head full of A.A. And a belly full of beer.
Time: 10:58:46 PM
I'm Gage. I'm an alcoholic. Jeremy, here is the way to fry an egg: Heat a skillet. Melt some butter in it. Crack an egg into it. Then, fry it. If you change the order of those steps, it won't work. You'll just make a mess. We have to ask for help before we take a drink, or it just doesn't work. The great thing is, though, that you can start over again tomorrow, and I hope you will. Jeremy, I am an alcoholic. If I decide to drink, it is anybody's guess when or if I'll ever be able to stop again. But the AA program, the twelve steps, has been working for me. So, I don't see any reason why it wouldn't work for you. I hope you'll just empty your head of everything you might think you know about this, including Hazelden, and get yourself with some AA people before you take a drink next time. Love to you.
Time: 12:38:59 AM
I guess the topic is hiting bottom? Well if you find yourself wondering if you are an alcoholic or at an AA meeting or at AA on-line than my guess is that your probly an alcoholic. The bottom you hit is up to you. Low or high bottom drunks will tell you that the only way to stay sober is not to take that first drink. My advice, the only advice i can give is to get a book called "Alcoholics Anonymous" read the 1st 164 pages & do exactly what it tells you to do. Go to an AA meeting & find someone to help you understand what that book wants you to do. There are links on this site were you can reach AA to get an "AA" book, if you don`t have one. This book contains clear cut instruction on how to get sober & STAY sober all it will cost you is about $5 bucks + shipping. Pretty cheep price to pay for your life back, huh! Or you can be one of those cronic slipers that you read about in the newspaper dying of alcoholism. The choice is yours, the bottom you hit is up to you. Hope you make a wise choice, the success rate is not to good, not many make it to there 1st year. Hope this helps you.
Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Time: 10:15:51 AM
Thanks for the topic Jeremy and the reminder of how it feels. I had to get beat up pretty bad before I was willing to concede that alcohol was my lord and master. Every time I took a drink I soon found myself desperate and wishing I was dead. Once I finally admitted I could never win, I was willing to honestly seek help outside of myself. I entered a detox unit for the last time. This gave me 10 days to read the big book and ponder my situation. When I got out I went to as many meetings as I could (sometimes 5 a day). I began to follow the advice of others. Out of all that a new life has grown, which I could never have conceived while I was still so sick. If you are new or struggling, we know what you are going through, but only you can make the decision to give up the struggle and hopefully you will want and seek what we have.
Member: John B
Location: Louisville, KY
Time: 2:09:49 PM
Hi, John alcoholic. Jeremy, get to a face to face AA meeting. If there are really no meetings where you are, then try the nearest large city. I relapsed in early sobriety and am glad I kept coming back. What helped me was getting a sponsor, getting a home group and taking it one day at a time. Ask God to help you not drink today. Eventually I got one day sober, then three then, lo and behold, a whole week. Still going a day at a time. Keep coming back. To Debbie, one of my dreams when I got sober was to go to law school too. When I was four years sober I started and finished three years later graduating with honors. I could never have done it without a solid foundation in AA and by continuing to put AA first throughout law school. You're right about DUI's hurting your chances of getting in law school or taking the bar, but if you quite now maybe it's not too late. However, if you keep drinking -- if your like me -- you can forget realizing any of your dreams. Hope both of you get back to AA and don't drink a day at a time. Sober life is very good. It doesn't have some of the high highs of using life, but it doesn't have those pitiful low low's either. Don't confurse serenity for boredom. Keep coming back. God bless.
Time: 3:15:38 PM
J-Rae, alcoholic, here. Jeremy, did you know that there are so many who have felt those same desperate feelings that you are and many have chosen a life one day at a time sober, and the days add up and their lives change? I am among those. I felt lonely, desperate, and decided to quit doing those same things and expecting different results. I went to a treatment facility for 28 days (not 'on my own'), and that facility took us to AA meetings, where I found lots of people with this common problem, and they had a SOLUTION. They didn't MAKE me do a thing. There were, however many suggestions on how to get out of my pit of despair. I'd tried everything else to no avail, so I thought I'd give this AA thing a shot. I had nothing left to lose. They suggested I read the first 164 pages of the book, "Alcoholics Anonymous", go to meetings, get a sponsor, and not to drink one day at a time. Life got better one day at a time, and I no longer sespise myself, others, or life. I had to quit hitting myself on the head with a hammer to try to get rid of a headache. I wanted out of 'the hole' I was in and I learned how to quit digging and going deeper in the hole. Keep coming back, my friend, there is a better way....
Time: 4:42:21 PM
AA ruined my drinking forever, Thank God. There is nothing more painful than to know that you are an alcoholic and to drink. Fromy my own personal experience all the alcohol and drungs in the world cannot take away that Truth from you when you begin drinking again. Keeping Coming Back... many people in your life may get sick and tired of you, but we will never.... ;)
Member: Tammy U.
Time: 8:39:07 PM
Jeremy, I can honestly say that whenever alcohol had been a part of my life, the chaos just grew, in very subtle ways. My name is Tammy and I am an alcoholic. I have almost lost my life several times to alcohol, so I guess my bottom is very close to six feet under. But in the face of that, I still went on with my life, not taking alcohol or its role in my depressions very seriously. Slowly I am starting to feel comfortable making friends and actually relying on others for help when I need it. That's a big one for me; asking for help. Jeremy, keep asking; I'm here for you and so are a lot of others who know what you're feeling. Take care,
Member: Kate R
Time: 8:48:59 PM
Hi all! Jeremy, thanks for your honesty. Try the internet to find meetings in FL. I've been where you are. I relapsed after 5 years sober (because I gave up my sponsor, stopped meetings, isolated myself, and forgot to pray). No way am I perfect, but I am making progress in my recovery. My life is so full right now that I can not make it to a meeting. I'm feeling the pain now. This is why I'm reaching out. I believe enough is enough, but when a bottle is placed in front of me, I have total and absolute weakness. That's why I need the fellowship. I need to reach out for help and to help in order to keep it! Get on your knees and say the serenity prayer over and over and over again, until you feel the obsession lift; whether it only be for 5 minutes, 5 hours, or 5days. "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things that I can and the wisdom to know the difference"
Member: Patti H
Time: 9:51:43 PM
Hi, I'm Patti and I'm an addict. I thank God every day for my sobriety. I remember being in that place of no return, when I could not imagine life without a drink, and then when I could not imagine life with one. I went to an AA meeting because I had tried everything else, and nothing had worked. I sat and looked at the peace and happiness in the faces of all those people and realized there was hope, there might be a future. I just might not have to live this pathetic life I was living. It can happen for anyone if we truly believe it can and we ask for the help to get there. We are living proof of the miracles in this world. Thanks for being there.
Member: Michael B.
Time: 4:54:53 AM
Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Thanks for the sincere shares. Welcome newcomers! Every AA has a different bottom. For me it was facing the terrible "four horsemen," Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, and Despair. I was at "the jumping off place," and "wished for the end." I can also identify with Bill, who recounts, "Then came the night when the physical and mental torture was so hellish I feared I would burst through my window, sash and all" (Alcoholics Anonymous pocket version, page 6). Revisiting these memories continue to instill fear in me. Thank God!
Member: Steve L
Location: Midwest US
Time: 10:19:41 AM
Welcome to the newcomers. Hopefully one of us said something you can relate to. Try to see the similarities not the differences you have with people sharing. That is what we have in common, our desire to stop drinking. As already mentioned, I went to 90 meetings in 90 days, got a sponsor by asking 2 men whose sharing made sense to me after listening to them a few weeks (first guy I asked said no), and worked the steps with a sponsor. It works because it will be 9 yrs soon, but I started by simply wanting to stay sober more than drink. Sometimes it was just 51% wanting to stay sober! Having a Higher Power than myself to pray (talk) to has helped alot too. Steve
Location: NW USA
Time: 12:49:00 PM
Jeremy ... I have been there, I am a retread too. I had been to treatment and A.A, had experienced the "Four Horseman" described in the big book. I knew I was powerless over alcohol. But I was in a VERY SAD, HOPELESS PLACE, in a bar drinking a beer with a head full of AA. I was being carefully controling allowing myself to get drunk only once a month. It was worse than just giving into drunkiness' It was 'SUCCESSFUL ALCOHOLISM'. "SUCCESSFUL ALCOHOLISM' was even worse than being 'a real alcoholic' Thru Staying Cyber although I was a 'successful alcoholic'I reached out once again for a "Spiritual Healing Power". This time I had do deal with my powerlessness over 'people, places and things'as I would turn my will and life over to 'people ... usually co-dependent people whom I made happy when I drank as it help balance the co-dependent mobile we were all connected to. This recovering alcoholic (with now 5 years) works the first step for 'alcohol and people, places and things'. Now I face my powerlessness, but I face the 'whole human race's powerlessness' There is a "Spiritual Healing Power", there is Experiece, Strength and Hope we can share... Keep coming back Jeremy, you are not alone. Thanks for your share it helped me remember the hopeless of "SUCCESSFUL ALCOHOLISM"
Member: Jack B
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Time: 2:34:48 AM
Hi, I am Jack, a real alcoholic. Hitting bottom is a great topic. When I came into the room of A A, they told me that all alcoholics have to hit their bottom. They told me it could be on 14th floor of the most exclusive penthouse in NYC or it could be in a gutter somewhere. My bottom was somewhere between that Penthouse and gutter, but its as low down the ladder of life that I ever want to go. Alcohol kicked my butt, plain and simple, I find no shame in admitting that I am powerless over alcohol. The most important thing in my life is not picking up that drink, and thru God's amazing grace, our 12step program and fellowship, I have enjoyed almost 15 years of continous sobriety, and for that I am truly grateful. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless.
Member: Tami H.
Location: Washington State
Time: 10:15:09 AM
Hello all! Tami, alcoholic. Just wanted to say that my bottom came to me in the eyes of my 15 year old daughter. It was when she told me, "Mom, if you keep doing this, I can't live here anymore." That, in it's own way, has helped me take a long look at the disfunction and distructivness of my drinking. I didn't need any help from alcohol either, I was messed up enough all on my own. I had become the person I hated most. And though through AA and counseling I am trying to let go of past resentments and anger, there is one person I can't stop resenting and I became her ~~ my mother... Memories of alcohol, drugs, men and her never being there. The way she would blame everyone else for the mess she had made of her life, the horrible sight of her "loaded", the fights between her and my adoptive Grandparents. She is dying, and still she drinks and drugs. I can't wait untill she's gone... I don't ever want my children to say that about me. I need to refer to my big book, pg. 66 bottom paragraph -- It begins, "This was our course... Read it, I have to often. What a gift! "SAVE ME FROM BEING ANGRY". I know that families of alcoholics at times think, "If they want to kill themselves with alcohol then just do it! At least then we can all be at peace." Jeremy, I don't know you, but I do know that alcoholism will kill if you let it. Don't let it. Call a AA Hotline in your area or find a church (I know, I know) But, if you don't want to drink, you don't have to. email@example.com
Time: 12:48:45 PM
Hi - I keep thinking I'm at the bottom and I keep drinking. I have a very strong desire to stop and know I'm an alcohlic. I came to AA 11 years ago and stayed sober by going to at least one meeting every day. I did nothing except work and stay sober. I read books, went to meetings, talked on the phone and smoked. I went to church and ferently sought God. I worked the steps, read the big book and worked with my sponsor. As long as I did all of those things I stayed sober. Now I have a 2 year old son. We're all alone, except for my mother who has her hands full. I have a good job - stressful - but pays the rent and daycare and my son is heavenly. But it's very difficult to talk on the phone. I take him to meetings and can't take the dirty looks, I do not have a quiet, compliant child. I live in a rich county and the kids just don't babysit. Everyone says go to meetings and are ready to criticize but no one helps. I'm praying this online discovery will be the miracle. Please pray for me that this will be the miracle. Thank you for your time.
Time: 1:37:13 PM
everybodys bottoms are different thats when choices come to play how low are you willing to go beore you reach back up to the top or just die miserable. the disease its self of course isnt a choice,but like any other illness to find relief or a cure is in only and only your hands alone theres many people that will help if your family cant deal anymore then maybe its time to ind someone like yourself thats recovering and it seems those people are at AA.
Member: Ken S
Location: Mifflintown, PA
Time: 3:05:20 PM
Hi, I am Ken S. and I AM AN ALCOHOLIC. The book Alcoholics Anonymous presents the cycle of drinking in the chapter entititled the Doctor's opinion. An alcholic is restless irritable and discontent, the only thing that relieves that feeling is the ease and comfort that comes from a few drinks, this always leads to a spree which he emerges from ever remorseful and makes firm resolution's to ensure it will not happen again, then he becomes restless irritable and discontent and it repeats itself over and over. Until the alchoholic experiences an entire psycic change. When I first came to AA I heard a lot of Good things and alot of garbage also, most of it resembled that maladjusted to life mentally defective crap the Dr. discusses. I heard 90 meetings in 90 days no relationships go to the 13th step dances etc. All of this was not found in the text of Alcoholics Anonymous. What I did find was a group of people whose actions were so much different than the rest of the people in AA that I had to find out more. There lives were not like mine, one chaotic self imposed crisis after another. They were at peace with their station in life. The results were evident it worked for them. I asked how to get better and they told me get a sponsor and work the program of Alchohlics Anonymous. I did that and things got remarkably better. By the Grace of God and the Program of Alcholics Anonymous I have not found it necessarry to take a drink or drug in over 10 years 24 hours at a time. I was not told to quit drinking just to postpone it for 24 hours. and I have been doing that ever since. When do you want to feel better? If now get a sponsor and work the steps now. If not just continue to drink if God's grace is with you it may just keep demoralizing, and comisserating you into a desire to stop. Misery is a great motivator it worked in my case.
Member: Marge Mc
Time: 7:42:06 PM
Hi, I'm Marge, a gratefully recovering alcoholic. Glad to be here, get to drop into this site every once in a while but Thank God, get to go to a lot of face to face meetings. They especially helped me in the beginning because I could look at the people who were talking and see in their eyes the pain and truth of what they were saying. I could see the winners from the loosers. I could see by the chaos or lack thereof in their lives, which ones where living this thing or just flapping their jaws. I once asked a beautiful old guy with 49 years in the program, What makes a bottom?...He looked me in the eyes, gently smiled and said "When you just can't dig any lower". Have you dug enough? That man got sober 200 miles from the nearest town. He read the Big Book and twice a month drove to that town to go to meetings and work in the Big Book with his sponsor. I guess it just proves that if you really want to stay sober more than you want to escape into drink, then it is possible. Thank God, I got to go to alot more meetings than that, and thank God it finally sunk into this thick head of mine that if I knew so much, Why the h... couldn't I get myself sober? What it took for me, was my sponsor pointing out that maybe I could let go of some of the answers that I'd figured out myself (which weren't working) and maybe I could do this the way that others had done (with much success). No one was blocking me but me. Have you dug enough?
Member: Dan P
Location: Middle East
Time: 7:45:35 AM
I'm dan alcoholic. I appreciate your comments Jeremy. You made me recognize one of my rationalizations when I feel the need to drink - I blame the lack of fellowship from AA. I live in a remote part of the world but even here we have meetings and I found that I must give a little help to receive help. Theres lots of drunks in FL - go find a meeting of drunks who are trying to change. Glad to be sober today.
Member: Debra J.
Location: St. Charles, Illinois (Chicago)
Time: 4:42:22 PM
My name is Debra, I am an alcoholic sober 2 years by the Grace of God and this fellowship. I am so thankful for this site. The words I have read today have helped so very much. I am in an emotional bottom in sobriety that is very threatening to my sobriety. I saw some reference earlier to 13th stepping --yep, you guessed it. Dated and lived with a man 15 yrs sober and well known in my aa area. He left me for his ex that is now 3 mos sober. We lived together. Although I am not drinking, the thought had crossed my mind in the last few weeks. I have to always remember to stay focused, that this bottom is no where near a bad as a true, wet alcoholic bottom. At least here, I have tools to rebuild, and am still clear headed enough to do it. Time to remove my head from...well, you know, and start having gratitude that I am not wet. Thank you group for helping me to get focused.
Member: David W.
Time: 6:26:44 PM
Hi, David, alcoholic. I was stuck in the mode of "wanting to want to get sober" for 10 years before I came to these rooms. I was one of those smart-aleck, know-it-alls that thought that I had to be smart enough to figure a way to drink successfully. I even came to some meetings and read the Big Book, but I decided it was just common sense and I could do without the Fellowship and some of those "little" details like Step 3. Oh, well. It 'took what it took' for me, and I've been sober for a while. I had to get enough willingness to take some concrete action, and stop just dreaming about something "making" me sober. Not a lot of action, just a few recommendations. Like, do whatever is necessary to avoid drinking today, just today. No matter how much I wanted to change the way I felt, I could not give in to alcohol. And I was given an alternative to deal with the craving: this Fellowship, the Big Book, meetings, sponsorship and love. It has worked for me.
Member: Duncan K
Location: Fayetteville, N.C.
Time: 6:46:41 PM
TRADITIONS BROKEN ???????????? YOU DECIDE. ATTENTION: AA MEMBERS, WORLDWIDE We had an AA Member (over 6 years) have a Restraining Order taken out on another AA Member with some time in program. I have been sober over 21 years and have seen this type of action between AA Members whereas such action required one to stay a certain distance, or a specific address, first on premises to an address, etc.) but this Restraining Order has a little twist in it--- not only did Plaintiff have the Judge list AA MEETINGS and a specific AA GROUP and AL ANON in this Restraining Order, but Plaintiff now has this Court Order continued. In effect, the Restraining Order allows Plaintiff to go to any AA meeting and the Defendant must leave or not go to that meeting. Should Defendant decide to go to any AA Meeting and Plaintiff decides to go to that meeting, Defendant must leave for us (AA Members) to abide by the court decision, which we would do. Under this verbiage Plaintiff has the power to stop Defendant , (which is a double amputee---both legs removed) from going to ANY AA Meeting. Old timers in our Group do not feel this is an “outside issue” and at the risk of being “bleeding deacons” we believe our Traditions have been blatantly broken. . We have a copy of this Restraining Order. An officer of the Clerk of Court assured us this is a public document and anyone could obtain a copy by paying $2.00 per page. We can e-mail this to any one who is interested (with names removed ). We do not think this is an outside issue, rather we believe it affects AA as a whole or AA AT LARGE. Plaintiff also hand-delivered this Court Order to the oldest AA Group in our area the Defendant normally attends. What are we saying to new comers or old timers who wish to speak in an AA Meeting with this action? One can get a resentment or just does not like what someone said and obtain a restraining order that someone "threaten" you to prevent that someone from attending AA Meetings? Real threaten actions between parties can be handled through Restraining Orders without naming Alcoholics Anonymous or AA Groups. We get over 50 newcomers a month and hold 24 meetings a week in the AA Group specified in this Court Order. At a scheduled Group Conscience held August 11, the Chairman took a copy of this Court Order submitted to the Chair, crumbled it up and walk to a trash can and dropped it into the trash declaring this is an outside issue and had the meeting promptly closed. Due to our proximity to Fort Bragg Military Base, we have members that go all over the World from these AA Groups. Bill W. alluded AA spread worldwide through our servicemen in WW II. Many are hurting over this action in our trade area. We take the position Bill W. took many times --- when confronted by a problem that could affect AA Membership as a whole. We are taking it to you , AA MEMBERS AT LARGE WORLDWIDE, and grateful for the Internet to communicate. We believe that Bill W. and Dr. Bob would have really appreciated this medium of communication in 1939. What do you, as active AA members think? Please e-mail us your position with permission to use at Group Conscience meeting and send to World Service for an up to date file on AA Members Position on this and similar actions AA Groups face or will face . Thank you, e-mail to: firstname.lastname@example.org Cropped from the Court Order which is a public document. (will not paste, will send upon request via direct e-mail)
Member: Pat G
Location: New Jersey
Time: 9:35:36 PM
Jeremy - Call the 800 number for AA in your area and talk to someone - if need be get them to pick you up and take to to a meeting. You know the drill -- I'm sure Hazelden told you these things but we'll tell you them again. Don't drink, go to meetings, get a sponsor, read the Big Book and pray -- it takes a spiritual awakening. Read the 11th step and say the prayer in there everyday and then do Step 1, 2 and 3 over and over and over until you get it. Good luck and God bless.
Member: Jim A.
Location: Little Chute, Wisconsin
Time: 10:50:34 PM
Hi, my name's jim, I'm an alcoholic. I just came out of my 6th treatment with 93 days of sober, clean living, but now the fear of relapse is running hard in me. I did 2 meetings today and I stayed sober today. I just want to say, It works if you let it and thank you to my H.P. Thanks for being there for me today all of you.
Member: Ron L
Time: 1:49:49 AM
Hi I'm Ron and an alcholic. I've sometimes heard that bottom is a great place because from there you can kick off and head back up. In 19 years in AA I have lots of bottoms. But I think sometimes of what they say in AlAnon "there is no problem too difficult ti be solved". The people and principles of this program have helped me through every life crisis that I have had. And for those suffering who want a great suppliment to meeting I love the tapes of speakers from conventions. Last week some members of my home group and I went to a round-up. AA speakers often have dramatic lives. My wish today is to minimize my tendency to be always so dramatic and the be grateful to God and of service to others. I woke up in terrible fear, fear about work and family and everything. This meeting helped... thanks to all and my wish for a great 24 hours love Ron
Member: Michelle M.
Time: 2:27:26 AM
Hello,My name is Michelle. I'm an alcoholic.Thank god I found you guys.I've needed help for awhile now,just thought for some reason I could stop on my own.I see that I'm not able.I'm not able to hold a job and I'm fixing to loose my apartment because of it.I have two young daughters and I can't seem to get my life strait because of the failure I feel I've become, so I drink again because I think I'm all alone in this vicious circle!! HELP ME!!!
Member: anonymous alcoholic
Location: 2689 Ridgecrest Drive
Time: 5:32:07 AM
Jeremy M - thanks for sharing your story so honestly. I sure hope by now that you have been able to connect with the fellowship i Florida. When I go on vacation there I have NO problem finding AA meetings. But, I sure can relate to your 'enough is enough' situation in non-alcoholic areas of my life. These are areas which I do not want to turn over to my HP. I'll control these areas of my life - thank you very much! Well, guess what? I am about as successful doing that as I was controlling my drinking. Thanks for pointing that out to me. I wish you well.
Time: 9:07:04 AM
Hi everyone, I'm Rachel, an alcoholic. It's great to hear from everyone today. Wow, what a reminder -- the notion that AA fellowship and stopping drinking couldn't work for me. That's how I felt for years before getting sober. But when I hit bottom, I was ready to do whatever I was told in order to get better, in order to stop drinking. And you know what? Going to meetings, not drinking in between the meetings, talking to members, and trying to start a relationship with a power greater than myself worked! I kept not drinking for 24 hours, and adding the 24 hours together. Amazing stuff. I was also lucky in that I was told to start writing my First Step right away. I had to write about all the stuff that alcohol took from me. It wasn't a moral inventory, it was more like a drunkalogue that I could look back on when I thought that drinking could be a good idea. Writing the first step out really helped me a lot in my first year. Thanks for listening everyone,
Location: Middle East
Time: 10:02:04 AM
To Michelle M. - I broke that vicious circle you described by calling the AA number listed in the yellow pages. I used to do the same things over and over but expect different results. Its an example of how powerless over alcohol I am. I haven't met anyone who entered this program unless their life was in chaos. Remember it is a fatal disease. If you want to break the circle - please make the call. To Rachel - good to see another expat in here. Glad to be sober today.
Member: Teresa B.
Location: Elkhart IN
Time: 11:45:21 AM
Hello all, Teresa grateful alcoholic here. Jeremy, you are at one of the top most difficult yet most wonderful places to be in. Difficult, because you find yourself a person who realizes drinking is deadly yet there is absolutely nothing YOU can do on your own to keep from picking up that next drink. Hopelessness is a place I've been to as well, and boy-howdy does it suck. ;-). Yet, it's wonderful because so few people ever realize their own powerlessness. And even better, you know that knowing this particular truth hasn't set you free.......yet. Dude, this sort of pain is what your Higher Power requires to get thru that amazingly thick alcoholic skull of yours. He'd rather not have to run you thru this wringer, but that's what you require. So now what to do? Five things: 1. Find and go to meetings and listen to what's being said. 2. Read the Big Book over and over again and pay attention to what you read. 3. Pray on your knees twice a day (am to ask God for 24 hrs of sobriety and pm to thank Him for it.) 4. Get a male sponsor and follow his suggestions (even if they are weird.) 5. Get a list of names and numbers to call when you are tempted to take the first drink. Please do keep us posted on how it's going.
Member: Charlie Darling
Location: Fort Myers FL
Time: 12:46:25 PM
Hi Family Charlie Darling here a very grateful recovering alcholic. Jeremy you are where I was a few 24 hours ago, and although I was not drinking my mind was screwed up, and I came upon this site, and to me this fellowship was the biggest help in keeping me sober another 24 hrs everyday until I could get back to meetings. Read all that the fellowship has written it helps even if you take just bit of info that id offered you, it is a start, and a new beginning to a wonderful life. The friends you meet, and we all have the same thing in common, and that is alchol and to help each other not to pick up that first drink, for as long as you don't pick up that first drink you can do anything at all. Love you Jeremy, and I will keep coming back as I like the person I am becoming. Love you all email@example.com
Time: 1:58:03 PM
Ditos to what Teressa B said, Do that then get into the steps thats how I have been doing it for 3 1/2 years
Member: Jim d
Time: 4:08:28 PM
Jim, alcoholic. I was told you hit bottom when you stop digging the hole. Call your local intergroup they will have someone contact you and help you find a meeting. Good Luck.
Member: Deb C
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Time: 5:00:03 PM
Been gone from this site for some time now. I used to be located in Colorado but the recession hit my neck of woods making it necessary for me to relocate back here to Vegas. Had a very bad experience in AA in Colorado...met a guy who turned out to be dishonest as all get out...he claimed to have had a number of years sober and surprisingly, his time in the program did not teach him anything about honesty. He was married with 2 daughters and he conveniently forgot to tell me...Anyway, I allowed that fool to negatively affect my opinion of AA...that is where I was the BIGGER fool!! So, now I am back on track and back to regular meetings and celebrating 19 years of sober living. I guess we all learn through our experiences in life....and I certainly learned my lesson well....DON'T LET ONE BAD EGG RUIN THE MANY GOOD YEARS THIS PROGRAM HAS GIVEN YOU! Thanks for listening and I'll be back again soon.
Member: John O'L
Location: DFW Texas
Time: 9:50:15 PM
Greetings from John O'L, an alcoholic who is very grateful to our program, those who came before us in the program, and those who will come after us. When I was a much younger man, I used to enjoy traveling to new places. Still do, although I don't get out as much as I used to. Before I'd go, I'd read several guide books about what to expect in the place I was visiting. Now, I think I can offer my own "guide-book" to you about what to expect in your travels. Beautiful and Relaxing: Try Prince Edward Island in Canada. The people are warm and friendly and the island is gorgeous. A complete change of Pace: I suggest Egypt. It was so different from all the places I've been before, that at times I felt that I was visiting Mars or another planet. This is not to suggest it was unpleasant. On the contrary, it was absolutely the most fascinating and unforgettable place you can imagine!!! For a totally miserable time: If you're looking for sadness and despair, may I suggest a trip to the land of ethyl alcohol?. While those who are social drinkers might find this to be an interesting and amusing land, those of us who are alcoholics will be beaten senseless in the back-alleys of the seediest sections of its towns, humiliated in front of its inhabitants as we make public spectacles of ourselves, and we will return from this land vomiting and filled with the most unpleasant feelings imaginable. Why do we keep going back, when we know what is waiting for us there? I guess it's because we're alcoholics. I know for sure that if there was any spot on earth where I had such unpleasant experiences as those I've had in the land of ethyl alcohol, then I'd want to avoid a return trip. But, there is something about this hideous place that keeps drawing us back to it. I do know that I've tried on my own to stay away from this place, and I've managed for months at a time to avoid a trip there, all on my own! But, I was never able to stay away from this place for as long as one year on my own. In order to do that, I have sought out the company of other "fellow-travelers", with whom I can share my experiences in this horrible place. From the tales of their travels in the land of ethyl alcohol, I know that my experiences there were not unique! But, left to my own devices, I know that I will buy another ticket to this land of misery and suffering, and the next time it might not be a round trip ticket. I might live in this horrible place for the rest of my life. What a thought this is............that the next time I go to visit I might become a citizen and never leave!!! Happily, I know how to avoid becoming a tourist or a permanent resident in this place of Hell and Torment. The program of Alcoholics Anonymous has allowed this tourist to avoid setting foot in the land of ethyl alcohol for over twenty years. May I recommend this program to you as a way to avoid finding yourself within this realm of living death and torture one day at a time? And as a way to help those who are trapped within the borders of that horrid place of despair to find their way to a land of peace and serenity within the Fellowship of AA............God Bless all of you and keep you safe and sober!
Time: 9:50:57 PM
Hi, AM here, an alcoholic. I TOTALLY relate with Jeremy. My problem is that I apparently haven't hit bottom enough or am simply not done drinking. I have not committed to sobriety, and therefore, even when I "try" I'm an observer, not an actual participant. I haven't really made the step to "live" AA. The good news is that I appreciate the program, get it if you will, and admire what it's done for millions. I know it will always be there for me. I just need to make that hard-core decision to NOT DRINK. That's pretty bloody tough for me, regardless of the consequences. I've suffered a lot of emotional and a bit of physical pain, tons of humiliation and fear... I've gone so far as to make my drinking problem a problem for others. I imagine myself sober -- but I just haven't done it yet. I guess I'm afraid or something of that life-long commitment. I like change and adventure. I've kept saying to myself for like 3 years now, "I just need to get over that hump." Well, that hump is more like Mt. Kilamangero (sp?). I hope it doesn't take something...unfathomable...for me to get real and deal. But there is a piece inside of me that keeps visiting this site, and longing for certain meetings I used to attend sparatically. It will be OK. Right?
Time: 7:05:52 PM
Ann - alcoholic. AM-Oregon - what will be ok? If your an alcoholic and you continue to drink "it" will get worse. I don't know anybody who came into the halls of AA with enthusiasim. We in the program do not talk of a life-long commitment to sobriety but a "day at a time" sobriety. Sometimes an hour or minute at a time sobriety. "lifelong commitment" would seem insurmountable and people would probably run. Hopefully AA will be around for as long as people need it but not everybody makes it there. In fact - I believe recovering alcoholics are still a minority in the world of alcoholism. You say you "get it." Well - you really don't. Part of "getting it" is when you don't drink no matter what. Alcoholism is a disease where you have to want to get better (recover). They say there wouldn't be enough room in the halls if everyone who "needed" it were there. You sound like you really are ready but alcoholism is telling you that your not. I was told "you don't have to drink even if you want to". I mean that sounds so obvious but that hit me like a ton of bricks. I thought I wasn't "getting it" because I still had the desire to drink while trying to get sober. My thinking was insane. The only thing I could really do in the beginning was to just keep going to meetings (I was told to just keep coming - bring the body the mind will follow). I didn't get sober right off the bat but I finally have a little over 4 1/2 years since coming around at the end of 1994. I heard a recovering Sister say something like "when you come into AA you find out you've been the victim of a disease - but once you learn a little bit about the program and staying sober and you choose to go "back out there" your a volunteer. You can choose to stop the insanity now. I hope you go back to those meetings you miss. I was told you keep going to meetings til you want to go to meetings. What kind of bottom are you willing to hit?
Member: Pat G
Location: New Jersey
Time: 7:53:06 PM
One more thought for you Jeremy - on page 8 of the Big Book it says something to the effect that the one thing curious about alcoholics is that their will is greatly diminished even obliterated when it comes to alcohol but surpisingly remains intact regarding other aspects of their life. If you just surrender, accept your powerlessness over alcohol and that your life is unmanageable and work your program life will improve. Your strong will to do otherwise is not at all surprising. It is something we all live with -- that's why the program is necessary to stay sober -- the disesase is mental, physical and spiritual. Not drinking a day at a time ends the cravings, spiritual work ends the obsession which is a miracle and working the steps helps us to learn to step aside and let God do what we cannot do for ourselves which means that God's will is done not ours and the crazy life of self-will run riot becomes a manageable sane life. Do hope you got in touch with Intergroup and got someone to get you to some meetings. Again good luck and god bless.
Member: Donna S. for Sister in the Spirit
Location: Fresno, CA
Time: 8:04:29 PM
Hi, I am an alcoholic and my problem is Donna's inability to cope with life on it's own terms. I am a retread and I only say that for identity purposes. God knows and only God knows what He does with me and for what reasons. In my first 4yrs. of sobriety I had no tolorance for a slipper. I could not fathom why or how they could take this motherload of gold found in the only book written of thier own life story and throw it away. So God in His infinite wisdom allowed me to have yet another human experience to overcome for mine as well as others I would touch later sake. I believe this to be true because the only thing close to a prayer I could say before I drank was the portion of the seventh step prayer that says, "remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows.". How could I be of use to someone I had no tolerance for? Also I had to learn the only step I could take that was perfect and that was, one... I had to learn what being an alcoholic was and meant. When alcohol enters my body it does not turn into sugar, water and carbohydrates, it turns into things like acatone, (just to name one), which is found in nail polish remover, then my body says I need it and it will not let me quit until it meets that quota. I am getting to the topic, trust me. As I woke in a jail cell and my children were in the care of CPS I knew it was the only bottom I wanted to reach. I did get my kids back the next day but I the next two years was a nightmare with someone always in my affairs. Being an alcoholic I am also a control junckie so you can only imagine the nightmare inwhich I speak I was. Any way I think I qualified and I would like to share more experience , strength and hope in the future as well as now. Jeremy, in Florida, call your local central office listed in the phone book and get to a meeting and listen for your story and find the guy you dislike the most to be your sponsor. He ought not listen to your psycobabble and he will hear your needs and share his experience with you as well as take you through the steps out of the book, not off the wall. Be with God everyone, until next time. Don't keep commin' back, STAY! Love ya all, Donna
Location: Mt Vernon,IL
Time: 9:22:38 PM
I am an alcoholic and an addict I hit my bottom when I lost my licence atleast that is what I thought but that was not enough my wife files for divorce after I have been sober for almost 4years just trying to find a job so that I can be independent though I got my licence back but and divorce was filed and I was restrained from entering my own house that was not the bottom today I dont have a penny and living with a friend who is plastic surgeon who cannot see my state when on paper I am supposed to have enough money to retire for life I have yet to where my bottom is ? thanks to aa and alanon.
Time: 1:46:37 AM
JimB. here happy to know I'm an alcoholic and grateful to be sober 4748 days today, or 13 years! If you were to ask me how I did it so far I would say meetings, meetings, meetings. For Jeremy and the others who are having a difficult time please get to a real face to face meeting. Do it for yourself not for your family or your spouse or to please your boss. It has to be an inside job for yourself. It requires you to do the foot work, get your hands dirty and grapple with life on lifes terms. Fortunately we do not have to walk this path alone and there is ample help available if you would just avail yourself of it by showing up at the meetings! Bring the body and the mind will follow. It is a very simple program for complicated individuals and it does work. One thing that does not change is our powerlessness over alcohol, once that is realized then it is only a matter of swallowing our pride and reaching out for help.