Member: Bill W
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada
Date: 02 Aug 1998
Time: 12:17:38
Good afternoon my friends, I' Bill and I' an alcoholic. To those who are just new or returning to the program, welcom. You have helped make my day. While in the military I had two sponsors due to postins. The second is now with his HP and I keep his words withme. My present sponsor is an ex service man as well and the first time I heard him speak he told my story with very few differences. This after he had been my sponsor some time. Due to work I don't get to as many meetings as I want but always seem to bump into someone in the program or like now find a meeting here. I'd especially like to say hello to our "Kiwi" friend. Barbara I'm determined to visit your lovely country one of these days. Drop over to the coffe pot. To all of you God Bless and stay here, this program of AA works.
Member: Mark J.
Location: ohio
Date: 02 Aug 1998
Time: 12:45:20
THE BIGBOOK TELLS US WE SHOULD AVOID fAULT-FINDING& ARGUEMENT LIKE THE PLAQUE. then it goes to say we all fall short every once and a while but we need to make ammends quikly. This info is in the chapter Working with others. Wow what an order but I'll do it I want A.A. to live in me. Some times it sucks to be me. But not all the time. I'm just grateful that God is Merciful. Recovered1
Member: Beth R.
Location: Venice, Ca.
Date: 02 Aug 1998
Time: 12:57:47
would not be so bold as to tell me how to run my life, as she is an alkie like me and mumy name is Beth and I am an alcoholic. Grateful to have come to understand that in the twelve steps we are ultimately sponsored by God. The fith step is of course reading to the woman who graciously passed it on to me. She will share with me her experience, of having done the same, trusting in God by cleaning house of all resentment and fear. I thank God that she st take her own inventory about what or how to better do God's will. How I use "sponsorship is that I continue to take personal inventory on my thoughts. Then improving that in Meditation a daily basis.. after all a human being may not always be available on the other end of the phone line. NO human power. We trust in that One who has all power. When I don't reach her I know Iv'e turned it over to God and having put it on the page there is less upheaval in which is the completion of the eleventh step, there is more clarity, strength, and peace in me. The recent events in my personal life have made it increasingly difficult for me to get to meetings as often as usual. A sense of balance comes as a result of these twelve steps, in which I have a daily reprieve from alkie thoughts of not being or doing right or good enough. Welcome Home to Barbara G. Thank you for your honesty! Wanting to die is alkeism in full force but the loving power of AA is all powerful! This alkie woman is recovered from a lifetime of wnating to die, drunk or sober. UNTIL personal experience of twelve steps began to deminish those awful deep painful old ideas of just not being enough or not belonging anywhere. Barbara G. don't go away! In these rooms there is hope. Thanks to all who share here. Thank you for letting me share. Beth R.
Member: Beth R.
Location: Venice,C
Date: 02 Aug 1998
Time: 15:38:07
My name is Beth and I'm an alcoholic. just have say my blooper some how cut out begining of my original share this am. meant to say that gratefully have found by the twelve steps that we are ultimately sponsored by God. If I have to rely on a human being to be on the other end of the phone line I could be in serious trouble. Thankfully, the woman who graciously passed it on to me would not be so bold as to tell me how to run my life, as she like me takes her own iventory about what and how to better be in and doing God's will. A sense of balance is a result of claiming the daily reprieve promised us by continually trusting in God by cleaning house. So grateful to AA for my life. Tahnk you. BethR.
Member: Bob C.
Location: Calgary
Date: 02 Aug 1998
Time: 17:23:52
Bob C.,alcoholic. I've been waiting to see a new topic here and haven't yet (second moment of silence?) so here's one: I read in A.A. Comes of Age that they realized in the begining that the first neccesary step to recovery was ego-deflation.To me this is what step 1 and all of the traditions are about. What do you think?
Member: Sue G.
Location: Pa.
Date: 02 Aug 1998
Time: 18:02:52
Hi! I am an alcoholic named Sue. For me the whole program involves ego deflation. Until I could find some humility and go about the business of getting "right-sized" I didn't stand a chance of finding the serenity I have in my life today. Not everyday mind you, 'cause some days I just don't surrender well. It usually doesn't take too much discomfort before I realize what I am doing wrong. When I first got sober it was such a relief to know that I was not the General Manager of the Universe. I found great comfort in coming to believe that a Power greater than myself could and would do a better job. I only had to ask! So I start each day with a simple prayer...Deliver me from ego,Please. And when I allow that deliverance to happen ,it is amazing just how much happiness, joy and freedom there is in my life. Each new day is indeed a miracle in progress. Thanks for letting me share. Peace and serenity to all ODAAT:-)
Member: Bev A
Location: East Bay, CA
Date: 02 Aug 1998
Time: 18:38:42
Hi. Bev an alcholic. I have always been taught by the old timers that EGO, is Edgeing God Out. So I had to drop the ego, and "get REAL' That rigerous honesty is hard stuff. Thanks to all of you for being here .
Member: S Lewis
Location: Surrey, B.C.
Date: 02 Aug 1998
Time: 18:43:11
Ego deflation! Funny thing about that. The old timers said I had an ego problem, & an anger problem. Go figure! I didn't think so. Im not sure what has happened to it all these many years later, but I do know I do not miss it. I don't have to talk, if there is nothing to say, I don't have to be the center of attention anymore, I don't have to be rights now. All these things & mamy, many more are gifts to me and I love them all. Getting rid of all these character defects was a process. I went to a meeting every day, (still do) and did what the old times told me to do, even when I knew they were wrong. Especially, when I knew they were wrong, cause then I could prove them wrong. Of course that never happened and I grew as a result. Being cool, is not near as much fun as being calm and serene today. I am pretty grateful to this program, and I love this meeting. Thanks for sharing guys, and go to lots of meetings and listen, and you will grow and stay sober and clean. Do the hard stuff, thats is what changes you. The easy stuff anyone can do and it's not the way to change. Have a great week.
Member: Chris A.
Location: Ft. Myers, FL
Date: 02 Aug 1998
Time: 22:13:41
Hi y'all, Chris here, sober by the grace of God and the twelve steps of AA. Ego deflation, hmmm. Yup, I can still use some of that. When I first came to AA I was "the man" in my eyes. Nothing happened but through me. It was a good thing when you all told me that the world did not revolve around me. This is a control issue for me. I still have a real problem with giving up the control thing. It seems every day, at one time or another I want to start running the show. "If only they would all do things my way everything would be all right" What kind of bullshit is that? I, every morning without fail try to turn my will over to God, and every afternoon try to take it back. Well, what do they say? Sometimes quickly,sometimes slowly. Please y'all, keep me in your prayers. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Chuck E.
Location: West Virginia
Date: 02 Aug 1998
Time: 22:17:53
Hello, my name is Chuck and I'm an alcoholic. Some of us are fond of saying "the devil made me do it" when we've done something we're not to proud of. We might as well say "the ego made me do it" because the ego is our own personal devil. Sometimes we like to claim that we weren't in complete control of our actions, that we were overcome by an irresistable urge. We can't, however, say that with a clear conscience. At one time in our addictive past, maybe, but not now. Now, we can be responsible. An urge can overcome us only to the extent that we let it-only as we give it the power of believing in it. We have a choice. We can listen to the voice of our ego, or the voice of God. How can we tell the difference? By how we feel. The ego's urgings always leave us with some misgivings. God's guidance assures us.
Member: Lee B
Location: Mo
Date: 02 Aug 1998
Time: 22:35:27
My name is Lee and I'm an alcoholic. Great to read all the good things. Ego deflation, humility started for me when I had to ask for help. Just going to A A was at the time a humbling experience, then to ask someone to be a sponsor was again a big step in deflating the big ME. It took a while to find out that the control and the ego was a mask to hide the fear. As I began to accept God and depend on him, my fear slowly left me and I no longer had to be the tough or the big shot. I no longer had to put up a big front to hide the low esteem. At times even now the old bull will try to take over but the good part of going to one group on a regular basis and having a sponsor is they will keep me on a level plane. Everyone have a great week. sta soba
Member: Lisa A.
Location: South Dakota
Date: 03 Aug 1998
Time: 00:22:55
Hi everybody My name is Lisa A. and I am an alcoholic. That right there is ego deflating and what a relief. I don't have to try to be somebody that I am not and I can accept me for who I am. A recovering alcoholic a striving child of God.. An old timer said to me last night " You were just trying to prove something to yourself weren't you" after a brief ego inflating incident that I completed and the old honesty ticker came on " well of course I was" thank God that I could hear and be honest with myself and laugh at it and she could laugh with me. With ego deflation and humility I can accept who I am today and that is a greatful recovering alcohlic. The word for me is "recovering" I will never be perfect but just for today I will be as perfect as I am supposed to be. I don't have to be perfect anymore or prove things to myself I can be a humble recovering servant of God and not a servant of myself. Humility and ego deflation go hand in hand for me and the grace to hear ... Thank you God for the gift of sobriety and for all of you fellow members Thanks for listening God Bless you All...and He has.. Lisa A.
Member: Santiago S
Location: Switzerland
Date: 03 Aug 1998
Time: 05:53:18
Hi, I am Santiago, an alcoholic. Thank you Bob C. for the topic about ego-deflation. I identify myself with much of what Sue G. wrote. I am also convinced that the whole program involves ego deflation and experiencing humility. Before AA, I always thought humility was humiliation. As a drunk, I certainly felt humiliated while driving to my first AA meeting, but boy, when I left the meeting I felt completely different, there was no more humiliation, just the peace of knowing that for the first time in a long time there was a future somewhere for me. The warmth with which I was welcomed by the older AA members was my first " conscious " experience of humility and I consider it as one of my most invaluable treasures. I have been learning to accept myself with my emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and physical defects and qualities ; I have accepted to work honestly on them, to change what can be changed and accept what cannot be changed. I find it very helpful and reassuring to know I am doing this through the AA movement and my Greater Power, because I know I am doing a better job than when I was just on my own. Sometimes I am able to surrender, and there I feel like my chest loosens ; I am relieved because I am not depending on my ego, because I have not to be someone I am not. This generates an exhilarating feeling of freedom. Many times though, I am still not able to surrender, I guess I am in a never-ending conflict with my ego. The Serenity Prayer comes in very handy, I just know I have to go back to my Superior Power and ask to find some humility so that I have a chance to find the serenity. This will not necessarily happen immediately, so I am also learning to become patient. Thanks for letting me share, Santiago
Member: Peggy C
Location: TX
Date: 03 Aug 1998
Time: 09:56:20
I am Peggy, and I am an alcohoic--back to the program after relapse for the second time! Yes, definitely ego deflation a big issue as well as humility. I went to a meeting at a rehab center a month ago and didn't go back for lack of strenth to face my demons again. I have since then continued on a spiraling hell that I am ready to decend upward with the grace of God and this program. I was blessed in the past and was sober for over two years--the happiest days of my life. Thank you for for listening to me.
Member: Michelle
Location: CO
Date: 03 Aug 1998
Time: 11:11:47
Michelle grateful recovering alcoholic here- I have been listening to some tapes I got at the "Fellowship of the Spirit" conference held here at Silver Creek last month, and ego deflation is a common theme in all of them. Father Hillary said he had a towering ego that amounted to "to seem to be, rather than to be" and that summed up his existence before coming to AA. I tried to "seem to be" for the longest time, and never managed to "seem to be" what I wanted others to "seem to believe" in me after all that hard work. The biggest ego's are driven by the most powerful insecurities, and I have yet to meet a secure alcoholic yet. Only the humble listen to God, and only the quiet hear him. I have been relieved of my ego drive, along with my obsession to drink by the grace of God. I continue to work at defects of character and thank God for my success. I know I'm headed for trouble if I take the credit for anything other than being a drunk, thats MY work at it's best, recovery is God's work.
Member: Sandy K
Location: New Jersey
Date: 03 Aug 1998
Time: 11:38:21
Member: Sandy K
Location: New Jersey
Date: 03 Aug 1998
Time: 11:38:31
Member: Sandy K
Location: New Jersey
Date: 03 Aug 1998
Time: 11:38:40
Member: Bob C.
Location: Calgary
Date: 03 Aug 1998
Time: 14:05:24
Sandy K.,where are you????Don't give up!
Member: Janice H.
Location: Mississippi
Date: 03 Aug 1998
Time: 16:39:17
Hello everyone !this is my first time on the web I live in Mississippi and have been very isolated since i moved here when i heard about webtv i thought that was my chance to attend meetings i won't be able to drive until feb so i have been stuck at one time i had eight years sobrietyand messed up i want it to be the way it used to be but i am having trouble getting what i oncehad back everyone's commentshave really been helpful to me
Member: Q.
Location: Key West, Fl.
Date: 03 Aug 1998
Time: 16:59:34
Hi, I am Katey, an alcoholic, I once heard someone share to stop trying to be top banana and join the bunch. My ego gets tricky, was sharing my story and a friend says thank-you- you have so much humility, and my ego pea brains says yea, he is right. Talk about ego meeting in the head. Hopefully a day at a time,I remember God and being sober is the center. Thanks for cybersober!
Member: Jr. P.
Location: Virginia
Date: 03 Aug 1998
Time: 17:32:24
Hello, my name is Jr. and I am an alcoholic. Great to join in on the discussion. I was thinking of all the great stuff I could tell everyone about on this subject and decided maybe I should just continue to read. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Kevin S
Location: Ireland
Date: 03 Aug 1998
Time: 18:31:43
Is it possible to stay sober without believing in God and the "BB"?
Member: Kevin S
Location: Ireland
Date: 03 Aug 1998
Time: 18:34:58
Is it possible to stay sober without believing in God and the "BB"?
Member: Cathy P.
Location: indiana
Date: 03 Aug 1998
Time: 20:10:09
Kevin, I believe that you can stay sober for a while without believing in GOD. The oldtimers let me borrow theirs for quite some time before I was able to develop one of my own. Then I think I settled for good orderly direction in my life. It was some time later that I actually got a GOD I could call my own. The BB was very important for me to relate myself to some of the individuals in the stories before I actually got to know anyone at the meetings. It took a while to understand the stuff in the first part. Suggestion: a dictionary will help. Good luck and Keep Coming Back!!!
Member: doren c
Location: md
Date: 03 Aug 1998
Time: 20:38:54
Boy I am having a hard time getting it. I seem to keep going to fast and I get burnt out and frustrated. I need help slowing down. I am so frustrated I could just cry. I could use some help with slowing down and taking care of myself. Maybe something to read in the literature, or a prayer that might help.
Member: Holly D
Location: Aberdeen, MD
Date: 03 Aug 1998
Time: 21:04:55
Hello Family... Holly, grateful alcoholic. I know that doing the fourth step (in the process! I am finally really doing it!) has really been making me look at the ego thing. Yes, my ego eased God out, for a long time,, because I could fix everything. However, when I finally let go, and let GOD (the Group Of Drunks) in I knew that God works through the people in the rooms.. This is really A great topic for me to hear about AGAIN AND AGAIN!!! One day at a TIME.. Don't Drink and GO to MEETINGS!!!
hol
Member: Marla L.
Location: Halcyon,CA
Date: 03 Aug 1998
Time: 21:16:32
Hi!My name is Marla and I'm an alcoholic.There have been alot of dicussion recently in my home group about the Steps 4 and 5. I would like to hear some other input besides mine at meetings since there are alot of newcomers and I am one of the oldtimers.
Member: Marla L.
Location: Halcyon,CA
Date: 03 Aug 1998
Time: 21:17:18
Hi!My name is Marla and I'm an alcoholic.There have been alot of dicussion recently in my home group about the Steps 4 and 5. I would like to hear some other input besides mine at meetings since there are alot of newcomers and I am one of the oldtimers.
Member: Marla L.
Location: Halcyon,CA
Date: 03 Aug 1998
Time: 21:18:07
Hi!My name is Marla and I'm an alcoholic.There have been alot of dicussion recently in my home group about the Steps 4 and 5. I would like to hear some other input besides mine at meetings since there are alot of newcomers and I am one of the oldtimers.
Member: Susan J
Location: Kansas
Date: 03 Aug 1998
Time: 21:56:22
Hi Name is Susan an Alcoholic, It's been awhile since I've sat in a meeting on the 4TH & 5TH step there always good meetings. They always remind me of the peace and serenity I was able to obtain from taking these steps. These were never easy steps for me to take my first (3) times in this program. Thanks to the ability to trust in my H>P> I took that step, and continue to take those steps every year. I need to be looking at some stuff going on in my life now, and for me to do that I do if you will mini 4TH & 5TH steps. Thanks for letting me share - God Bless
Member: Don P.
Location: Wilton Manors, Fl
Date: 03 Aug 1998
Time: 22:24:15
Hi Kevin
yes it is possible to get and stay sober without a belief in a higher power the first thing you do is stay sober, and go to meetings, read the big book and become willing, then you may be able have a open mind, then you never know what will happen as far as a higher power is concerned.
Member: Chris H
Location: Eugene OR
Date: 03 Aug 1998
Time: 23:44:29
Chris alcoholic,I absolutely belive that it is my ego that stands between me god and my fellow man .If I am unwilling to leval my pride, confess my short commings, I become doomed to go back to the prison that my ego constructed in the shape of a bottlethank you for the reminder of what my prblem really is !
Member: Bill G.
Location: Texas
Date: 04 Aug 1998
Time: 01:02:00
Hi, my name is Bill and I'm an alcoholic. Hang in there Doren, it may not get better right away, but if you stay sober it won't get any worse! Try reading "Living Sober". It really helped me. It has many good suggestions on slowing down. The Serenity Prayer says it all for me. I must have said it over and over hundreds of times when I first came into A.A. I heard this from a speaker: "I was really quick when I first sobered up. If I was lying down I should've been sitting up. If I was sitting up I should've been standing. If I was inside I should've been outside, and on, and on, and on. No matter what I was doing I should've been doing SOMETHING ELSE!" I was right there with him. I thought I was going to EXPLODE but I didn't. I'm still in one piece. Just don't try to go through it alone. Find or call another alcoholic and talk to him/her. Good luck and GOD BLESS!
Member: Doug K.
Location: West Michigan
Date: 04 Aug 1998
Time: 01:53:37
Doren, I'm sitting at my kitchen table with a warm loaf of bread in front of me. Well, I'm pretty sure I want to eat the whole thing. If I were to take that loaf and shove it all at once in my mouth, I'll choke on it; but if I eat it one bite at a time, one slice at a time, Ill get through the whole thing - and savor it, too. I need to learn to be content where I'm at in life, and accept that sometime things don"t happen when I(!!!) want them to. Kevin, I read the BB the first time before I was two weeks sober, and have read it every six months since. Have you read it? How did they know so much about me way before I was even born? I struggled with the god-thing heroicly when I first came in but my first sponser told me to just keep an open mind and allow pwople to have their Higher Powers. After all, I was shaking and sick and they were happy joyous and free. I tried that, sorta, but it was still a struggle. The day came when I had no choice whatsoever, but to ask honestly and desperately for help from and undefined higher power, and it came - instantly! Today, I have a childlike faith in that higher power and still don"t feel the need to define Him. Perhaps one can stay sober for a good period of time without using either of those powerful tools, why don't you stick around, listen to folks, keep an open mind and find out. If it works for you, cool. On the topic, I know that through very little fault of my own, a miracle has occured in my life. I know that when I got here, I couldn't stop drinking but for a couple of hours on the very best day, and haven't had a drink since. I know that my life was in shambles (my doing), and I know that today it is beautiful ( though no fault of my own). Gifts and blessings and I ought to be grateful every waking minute. Thank you for letting me share.
Member: Amy GC
Location: Switzerland
Date: 04 Aug 1998
Time: 02:12:08
My name is Amy and I am an alcoholic. Ego deflation was indeed a necessity for me, it began tho while I was active in the disease. Sometimes towards (what I hope is) the end I had so little self esteem I couldn't fight my way out of a wet paper bag. HOWEVER, there was this play-acting, double side of me when I was so sick in the dis-ease and boy then did I have an ego. Going out to get attention, lying to say whatever just tohave power over the truth and someone elses feelings (sick, sick) and that sure was ego. Well now in sobriety (just began 3rd yr.) I am more like the woman I was before I became an alkie which is shy and reserved, still low in self-esteem but workin on it. Ego issues I am dealing with at the moment I lift up to my HP who I call Jesus and he will do for me what I cannot do for myself. Thanks for letting me share, Amy
Member: Terry B
Location: Florida
Date: 04 Aug 1998
Time: 08:12:59
To Kevin: The big book was not written as something you had to "believe" in. It is a guide based on other people's experience. It offers suggestions that have helped other people. Some of them may work for you & some may not. As for a belief in God - that is your decision. I would suggest that you don't have to do anything other than not drink to stay sober. If you do that (not take the first drink) after awhile things may look differently to you and who knows what you will be able to do.
Member: Karen M.
Location: NJ
Date: 04 Aug 1998
Time: 08:24:04
My name is Karen and I am an alcoholic. That is the most important thing I can say today. My primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics achieve sobriety. If I stay true to that purpose each day, I am living as God would have me live. When I impose my agenda on the day (what I want, what I think I need), I am heading for trouble. Keep it simple. Don't drink, go to meetings, help another alcoholic. That's how I stay right-sized. Thanks for letting me share and have a great day. Karen
Member: Terry, B.
Location:
Date: 04 Aug 1998
Time: 09:20:17
My name is Terry and I'm an alcoholic. I've been in the program 2 weeks and I wonder if I have a ego left. After 20 years of escape sobriety brings about its own humility.
Member: L.C.
Location: NY
Date: 04 Aug 1998
Time: 09:44:50
Hi, I'm L.C. and I'm an alcoholic, My ego is getting me in alot of trouble. I used to have 6 yrs. and gave it up due to my disease/ego; and I've been unable to stay sober because of it. I received alot of gifts in sobriety and took them all and ran away like a selfish child. So I got what I deserved, the gift of misery. Trying to come back is difficult, I started a business when sober and also work a full time job. My day starts at 6:30am to 11:30pm, which leaves me little time for meetings. I also work 7 days a week. I try to make one meeting on the weekends, but that isn't always possible, and hardly enough. I know that the first thing you put in front of your sobriety you will lose. It is my ego that really screws me up, "you're ok, you don't need meetings, maybe you never really were an alcoholic, you're doing fine." This is the garbage that goes on in my head. I need help. Thank God for this staying cyber website. It has been very helpful. Thank you all for listening.
L.C.
Member: Claudia L.
Location: Reno, Nevada
Date: 04 Aug 1998
Time: 11:35:16
Hi my name is Claudia and I am an alcoholic. I just finished my 4th step. I never thought I had an ego problem until I did this step. What an eye-opener. I realized just how self-centered I really am. I put my alcoholizm before God and my family.I am now ready to ask God to remove every character defect so that I may serve him better. I am sober only 63 days but by the grace of God and A.A. I will continue to be of service to God and my fellows. I have really never shared at mtgs. My sponsor told me that sharing was not about me, but how I could be of service to others. No I don't have any ego problem! My new goal is to try to share my experience,strength and wisdom at every mtg I attend. Thanks for letting me share. Claudia
Member: Jodene Alcoholic
Location: OKC
Date: 04 Aug 1998
Time: 11:46:04
L.C.--Please come join us at the Coffee Pot. I don't know your personal situation (like why you feel it's necessary to work 18-hours a day,7-days a week). I do know, for me, when I get to thinking "I can handle it", reality can come quickly with a crashing blow. Ego? Isn't that what got me into trouble in the first place? What preceeded my (please, God!)last series of drinks was my failure to do what had kept me sober in the first place. My "thinking" was "Gee, I don't really need all those meetings. I don't need to call my sponsor so often. I don't have to write and pray every day". Humph. I now know why this is a "we" program and not an "I" program.--As in "we admitted we were powerless..." etc. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: sharont
Location: Chicago, IL
Date: 04 Aug 1998
Time: 11:47:04
Hi, Sharont, alcoholic and addict. Seven days sober and talk about having an ego meeting. This past week the good, the bad and the ugly have been having quite a session. So far looks like the good is winning. I am learning to recognize when this is happening because all these thoughts go through my head about "maybe I should just walk to the bar and see what's going on. I'm feeling good, should be no problem. Then thank God, if I don't act on it and sorta sit on it, the better part of me, or my higher power helps me realize that I can't let my ego make the rules. So for today I am powerless over everthing including me. Thanks for listening.
Sharont.
Member: sharont
Location: Chicago, IL
Date: 04 Aug 1998
Time: 11:54:23
Hi Sharont, alcoholic and addict here again. Just wanted to share that I went to two meetings over the week-end and felt like I was coming home. It is for that reason I made it through the weekend, and I am feeling okay. Thanks for listening and have a great day.
Member: WandaT
Location: St Louis MO
Date: 04 Aug 1998
Time: 12:45:03
Hi, my name is Wanda and Im an alcoholic. I'm trying to find ways to work through my anger. I know what triggers it for the most part. Can anyone tell me how you handle it? Thanks for listening.
Member: Tammie S.
Location: Seattle WA
Date: 04 Aug 1998
Time: 13:00:37
Hi Iam Tammie and Iam an alcoholic, I just discovered this site and feel so grateful. I can relate to what everyone has said. Where is my god right now? I have been traveling around Europe for the last 2 months. I went to a meeting in Sweden which I needed and now I am in Budapest and could not find one. I love the fact I am able to do this in my life ( travel) right now however, it has its ups and downs. I feel disconnected right now. I feel because of the program and only because of the program I have a great support system and have set up my life to take care of myself. Being away from that has made me feel a little isolated at times. The famous A.A. slogan HALT is what I need to remember right now. I feel tired, LONELY, angry and hungry. All the things that allow a good sober person to maintain their soberity. When I was drinking I loved the fast life. The best of clothes, the best drinking spots, champagne, good-looking men, anything that resmbled status. I needed to be seen, my ego was in contast need for attention. My soul was was spritually bankrupt when in came into A.A. Material status was al l I could relate to. I feel I have gained a spritually soul now. However, my alcoholic thinking can rush in and take over. My ego wants what I dont need. I start feeling sorry for myself and forget that I am just enough the way I am. I needed to "write" this. Tomarow is a new day day and a new beginning. I know I will not feel like I am right now. I am going to call someone back home I think. Great topic and everyone thanks for sharing and letting me go on. Tammie S.
Member: Frank M
Location: MPLS
Date: 04 Aug 1998
Time: 13:11:22
Hi there, My name is Frank and I am a ACOA - (child of Bill W). I have been working in the recovery field for eight years now and have learned how big of a mask Ego can be! I have a discussion that I lead with various groups on Ego = Image gon wrong. Image is some thing I like to refer to as "I am what AGE?" This tyes into Ego in my opinion! There is a lot of carring on this page and in the past entries! i sometimes let the clients here read and if they wish post, and I must say seeing so much ofthe same messages and support is quite strengthening to them. Stay Sober and KEEP COMMING BACK!
Member: Rich R
Location: Detroit
Date: 04 Aug 1998
Time: 14:35:46
Ego deflation, what a concept. Maybe if I post on this topic some of it will sink in. I thought: "I could and would if I were sought!" That probably doesn't make sense to anyone here, but I have come to believe now (after 7yrs) that it should be "God could and would if he were sought" so I am trying to seek him with your help. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: BarbW.
Location: Pa
Date: 04 Aug 1998
Time: 14:43:25
Barb here and I am an alcoholic, and alot of what is said here is so true for me. I am someone who needs to drink to open up and fit in. I am not a very social person unless I have a drink. Alot of my friends and family drink and when you don't have one you are not considered one of them. I guess that's where my ego comes in, I am always trying to show off and fit in. When deep down inside I just want to be with my kids. I guess when Friday night comes around and I don't have plans than I feel like I am missing out on something. Like what else is there. I am trying so hard to accept what I cannot change and just live the life that I feel the most comfortable with. Right now I am so confused, angry, on the edge. I don't want to drink and I want to live my life but right now I am trying to find what else there is.
Member: chuck k
Location: twincities, MN
Date: 04 Aug 1998
Time: 16:35:29
Hi I am chuck and I am an alcoholic. hi frank I'm also from minneapolis, good to meet you. EGO is a problem that I also deal with in sobriety. I have learned over time that the more ego I have the more FEAR I have. I get this notion in my head that I can do it on my own. Eventually life kicks my legs out from under me and I find myself on my knees asking for help. I have a friend that relapsed in the last couple of weeks. Here is where it gets interesting. my ego tells me that I can relieve him of his disease. In other words I can do gods work. THIS IS A LIE! "No human power can relieve us of our alcoholism". Because we are but human powers and can't relieve his alcoholism, could you put in a prayer for my friend tim. Thank you to all on this site and all in AA. you guys and god have saved my life again. I am forever grateful. God bless, chuck
Member: Sandy K
Location: New Jersey
Date: 04 Aug 1998
Time: 21:22:16
Hi everyone,I'm Sandy and I'm an alcoholic. Thanks very much Bob C for your concern. I'm new tocomputers and didn't know how to do this. Ego deflating is a good one. I made myself
responsible for everything--good or bad--and it was mostly bad. I really thought I was the center of the universe. Atone of my earlier meetings, an old timer told me that I just wasn't that important. I took this as an insult As time went on and I truly kept an open mind I began to understand what is truly meant by this. I thank God everyday for my sobriety. Without my HP, the program and all of you, I would be dead. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Greg S
Location: Portland, OR
Date: 05 Aug 1998
Time: 00:50:07
Hi, I'm Greg and I'm an alcoholic. First time on this site -- what a great idea. I'm going to try to keep in touch with you folks, but I don't always get on the Web everyday.
Ego -- good topic. To go back to whoever started this discussion, yes, I think that ego deflation is a great part of the first step. We admitted we were POWERLESS over alcohol, and that our lives had become UNMANAGEABLE. Ego deflated yet? Just a little bit? I used to be able to do and control anything and everything -- and whenever I couldn't I just took a drink. Not because I needed one -- just to forget about all of those who were keeping me from doing and controlling everything.
Remember, though, in the first step we admit that we are powerless over ALCOHOL -- not that we are worthless. What I've learned is that I can't control everything, and I shouldn't have to even try. If I simply let God guide me in the right direction every day, the day works out a whole lot better.
Remember, too, that "humility" does not equal "humiliation." Too often, we think that they are synonyms. I used to think that being humble meant that I had been humiliated. Wrong. Being humble simply means putting my ego and thoughts in their rightful place. I can be humble and still contribute to life; I can be humble and still be a worthwhile person; I can be humble and both give and receive love. In fact, I MUST be humble to do all of the above.
An AA friend said that its always important to remember that God doesn't necessarily need our help today to run the world. I also remember a story about Abraham Lincoln. After meeting with his top generals during the Civil War to plan an upcoming battle, the generals were quite unsure if the Union could win. One turned to Lincoln and said, "Let's just hope that God is on our side." Lincoln looked at the general and replied, "No. Let's pray that we are on God's side." Now that's ego deflating.
I've probably gone on too long, but it may take some time to learn how to "cyber share." Thanks to each of you for being there. Keep coming back. And to the newcomers, welcome. You're finally with people who can understand how you feel. Love to all, Greg
Member: AA Member
Location:
Date: 05 Aug 1998
Time: 00:59:43
Wanda T = read page 449 in the big book of AA. That will tell you lots more about anger than you might want to hear, but it gives you the answer of how to get rid of it too.
Member: Bonnie
Location: Seattle
Date: 05 Aug 1998
Time: 06:21:11
Hi extended family, bonnie/alcoholic here, (((ROOM-HUG))) so glad to be here with you dear hearts, EGO - DEFLATION good topic, the lady I called the 1st day said read 60-63, (self will) 449-452, (acceptance) 83&84 (promises) (and apply it to me) in the BB daily, (I read & went to a meeting everyday for 5yrs, helped me become part of a group) make my bed, journal, I had run out of answers for my life so I was willing to take suggestions. my life was nuts, ego-deflation doesnt all happen in one day. thank God! the more 4th steps (actually the first thru the 9th on everything) I do in different areas of my life that dont work well, the more ego deflation I experience. this stuff goes very deep and manifests in my life in many uncomfortable ways before I work on them. so I have learned to be patient with my progress. I am not going to get better overnight because i didn't get sick over night. many yrs of self abuse and letting others abuse me and then abusing others have all contributed to my bag full of crap to wade thru and clean up. the onion theory, each layer has joy, pain, knowledge and numbness (healing time) then it starts all over again in another area or at a deeper level in one of the areas i've already scratched the surface in. till you get to the God center, thats what I strive for. I incorporated these pages as I studied the rest of the BB starting on page one. If you want sobriety, just dont take that first drink and get your ass to meetings. take suggestions, read the book, get a sponsor and do the steps. this thing works if you want it and when you are out of answers. your ego can and will kill you if you are an alcoholic like me and are without this program. a lady told me at my first meeting that I never had to drink again and she was right, I have been sober since my first meeting on 5/30/80. they told me that I was now responsible for my drinking, if I went back out, because I used my drunkeness to do irresponsible things that I didnt want to be held accountable for. it wasnt comfortable to get sober, for quite awhile but it became paradise on earth, I now fit in my skin and life, my relationships that are for my highest good have healed, those that were part of my undoing are now gone, thank God. STEP 1- I can't STEP 2- GOD can STEP 3- So I think I'll let Him. Thank you God for what You've given me, what You've taken away and what You've left - Dear God please bless all who venture here. love and hugs, bon
Member: Mark L
Location: S.I.
Date: 05 Aug 1998
Time: 09:07:04
Mark L. Alcoholic, I just needed to share this so please be understanding. I was walking to work this morning and I am going on vacation for 2 weeks starting Saturday. I was thinking(stinking) that this is going to be my last vacation! I was going to go up to Maine and have a HEART ATTACK and DIE! I don't know why I thought this but I knew I should share this right away for ME. I want to thank everybody for what they have given me. A DAY AT A TIME of SOBRIETY!
Thanks
Member: Mark L
Location: S.I.
Date: 05 Aug 1998
Time: 09:09:48
Mark L. Alcoholic, I just needed to share this so please be understanding. I was walking to work this morning and I am going on vacation for 2 weeks starting Saturday. I was thinking(stinking) that this is going to be my last vacation! I was going to go up to Maine and have a HEART ATTACK and DIE! I don't know why I thought this but I knew I should share this right away for ME. I want to thank everybody for what they have given me. A DAY AT A TIME of SOBRIETY!
Thanks
Member: Elizabeth Read
Location: Yankee
Date: 05 Aug 1998
Time: 10:23:40
Hey Bill, Nova Scotia,
Miss Hfx but don't know how it actually treats military personnel. That actually matters, ya know.
From big US city, education and some upbringing in some things Puritan, and the only thing I can say about other people's discussion of ego, not yours, is, smells like Augustinian piety to me! Paging Jonathan Edwards! Man is not unlike a worm, that crawls on the ground ... Honestly, the inability to think critically is just as much of a sin as drinking. (Plus, you gotta be a little suspicious - who can read Cotton Mather sober?). But if you are dealin' with base problems, or something like that, I'll hope for you. I kinda suspect it's a closed system, like a dish with a lid over the top. Believe me, recognizing that little problem is part of the solution, or at least part of living.
Member: Shirley V.
Location: Godfrey, Illinois
Date: 05 Aug 1998
Time: 10:24:02
Hello:
I need HELP!!! Can't stop drinking and DO NOT know why...duhhh!!! I just can't seem to deal with life. My life (as I planned it) has been taken out of my hands....I only have 2 beers left and DO NOT want to go get more.....HELP!!
THANKS SO MUCH...I feel VERY hopeless right now.
Member: Carlos M.
Location: Bogota. Colombia
Date: 05 Aug 1998
Time: 10:24:23
Hi everybody, my name is Carlos, I'm an alcoholic and an addict. It must be the god of my understanding, because I went to a meeting last night ant the topic of discussion was EGO, I guess he's trying to tell me something. Yes ego is my problem it kept me drinking and using though 20 years I'm now 1 year sober and my ego still gets in the way, I have related to many of the sharings ego-deflation started for me with steps 1 & 2, when I stopped thinking that I could run/manage the universe, when I learned that the universe does not need running and that I'm just an alcoholic/addict and have to let the god of my understanding do his thing. My best moments in recovery are those when I humbly accept life in life's terms and have acceptance of my condition. Thanks for letting me share and wish you all the best 24 hours.
Member: Shirley V.
Location: Godfrey, Illinois
Date: 05 Aug 1998
Time: 10:27:21
Hello:
I need HELP!!! Can't stop drinking and DO NOT know why...duhhh!!! I just can't seem to deal with life. My life (as I planned it) has been taken out of my hands....I only have 2 beers left and DO NOT want to go get more.....HELP!!
THANKS SO MUCH...I feel VERY hopeless right now.
PS: I KNOW I am not suppose to post this twice but I forgot to say...if anyone can help, my email address is: svaldes@midwest.net or svaldes3@juno.com THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!!!
Member: Shirley V.
Location: Godfrey, Illinois
Date: 05 Aug 1998
Time: 11:21:17
Hi..I am doing this "posting" again. I read the comments of "EGO" and (duhhh!) realized the topic. I (think) I do NOT have one. I just drink. I can't see how EGO can get in my way. I do not have any EGO right now..nor do I have the self-confidence I once had...maybe I shouldn't have any...you think??? I am just "me". I trusted in my "higer power"...in MY mind God, Jesus...whatever. He did NOT "see me thorough..as I expected Him to"...so, NOW I do NOT believe in Him for ME....I truly believe He will help ANYONE else BUT me. I just can not see "HIS" reasoning of leaving me with spine damage, losing my "dream" job in which I went to college to get a degree for after getting a divorce after 26 years of marriage and raising 2 children who are VERY well adjusted...they do NOT know of my "drinking problem"...I just CAN see how this could be "my destination in life"!!!!! I worked VERY hard for that job and position.
NOW I live on Social Security Disability of $500 per month after EARNING $32,600 a year in my career. I PLANNED to retire from my career eventually.....BUT, I am now with NO career and "considered disabled". I lost the car I was buying (with my OWN money) and am living in a house my son gave me so I could have a place to live.......
MY QUESTION: Why would "HE" do this to me!!!! "What is His reasoning for this???" Am I supposed to "learn a lesson from this??"....I did NOT have and EGO...never did.
I feel HE...my "Higer Power" took my life out of my hands and put it in His and decided I should be "lowered in life".
WHY ON EARTH WOULD HE DO THAT???? My children AND grandchildren are still "trusting in HIM"..BUT, why would He do this to me????
Can you see why I have a problem with my "Higher Power"?????
NOW I am in the position of not even being able to afford food many days. Sometimes I live on potatoes, noodles and whatever is cheap. I can not go very far in my car (my daugher-in-law gave it to me after I had to give the car back that I was buying ON MY OWN MONEY) and I really DO NOT see the reasoning of this.
So....I drink!!!!! BOTTOM LINE: I feel TOTALLY abandoned by MY "Higer Power" AND I do not know if I could EVER trust Him again!!!
Thanks for listening!!
Any suggestions??????? I REALLY MISS "HIM". I prayed daily and REALLY did trust Him for EVERYTHING in my life and raised my children that way.....NOW, they are raising THEIR children that way.........HOWEVER...I feel He has forgotten me!!!!!......AND decided.."I will break her in any way I can."...Sorry, that is just how I feel.
Thanks for listening.
Any suggestions????
My email address is: svaldes@midwest.net ($20 a month and do NOT know how long I can afford this. OR svaldes@juno.com (FREE EMAIL)
Member: Eric E
Location: louisiana
Date: 05 Aug 1998
Time: 12:09:54
Thanks for the Ego topic, i'm in a ego battle now, trying to work out the situation in my head, thinking than none of my friends would understand, because my situation is different. what i am realizing is that my ego is nonthing more than fear and a lack of trust in god. if i turn this situation over to god and stay out of the way it will be ok. the hard part is believing that. That is my problem, , i have problems in the trust part.i want to trust in god more than anything else.In my head I know that if I trust God totally that I will find serenity. that IS what i want in life.. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Mark L
Location: S.I.N.Y
Date: 05 Aug 1998
Time: 12:15:14
Hi, Mark L. Alcoholic, Shirley I hear your pain, A suggestion"Go check out a A.A. Meeting". If you need to know where call intergroup up. When I got sober there was no God. I could not deal with it. For my HIgher Power I chose to use the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous This helped for awhile. Then suddenly I started to understand and I was willing to turn my will over to Him. Life didn't necessarily get better,it got REAL. But thanks to all the people here I am able not to drink for today!
Member: Judith
Location:
Date: 05 Aug 1998
Time: 13:20:56
Hi - Judith, an alcoholic. Shirley - The gift I got in AA wasn't getting what I wanted but rather wanting what I had. And when I came into the program, believe me, I didn't want what I had - I hated my job, was being sexually harassed by my boss, was deeply in debt, was in a very loveless marriage and wasn't even close to being the mother I wanted to be for my then 5 year old son. I blamed everyone and everything for my state of affairs - my parents, my husband, my job blah blah blah - I was an endless complaint. I too thought I had no ego - HA! I discovered myself to be the most self-centered woman. I pretended to myself to be so concerned with everyone else - so much so that I couldn't even mind my own business. People saw a "sweet girl" but I was a person with hate not love in my heart.
But I learned the truth - am still learning the truth - in these halls. I had to let God in my heart so he could teach me what love is and how to give and receive it.
I found sobriety and later HIM by going to MEETINGS, getting a SPONSOR and working the STEPS. It's all laid out in the Big Book - page 29 gives specific instructions on how to live our lives. We have to follow them if we want to lead moral and spiritual lives. No deviations will do.
I hear that you are hurt and disappointed and we can't know the reasons for our circumstances. But I have found that going to meetings and sharing my pain has helped me to accept it and my burdens are lessened by letting others help me.
Peace. Keep coming.
Member: Janice H.
Location: Mississippi
Date: 05 Aug 1998
Time: 13:53:30
shirley hang in there! it will get better but you won't see that until you stop drinking i am having the same problems and reading what you had to say made me remember the eight years i did have sober i started drinking at 28 when my mother died and i blamed God it was very hard and my thoughts were if you want me to stay sober why do this to me i found out over the years that this is just life on lfe's terms and that can be rough sometimes let's help each other! i need to stop drinking too i know it can work from many happy past experiences in aa
Member: Janice H.
Location: Mississippi
Date: 05 Aug 1998
Time: 15:17:13
I guess I need to know if this is for real! The web is new to me. I need to talk to some aa's with some real sobriety because it takes a lot for me. I need a sponser very badly. Just someone who can stand a failure after eight years of sobriety. I was so happy then!
Member: Janice H.
Location: Mississippi
Date: 05 Aug 1998
Time: 15:21:22
Someone please respond to me so I know this is real. It's almost too good to be true after being so isolated for so long
Member: Bob C.
Location: Calgary
Date: 05 Aug 1998
Time: 16:37:32
Bob C.,alcoholic.It's real Janice!! Come on over to the Coffee Pot and talk to us. And WELCOME!!
Member: Norm C
Location: Calgary
Date: 05 Aug 1998
Time: 17:16:54
My name is Norm and I am an alcholic. The topic of ego deflation is a good one for me. I'm new in this city of Calgary and I can't say that I like cities very much, to me they give off a sense of lonliness. I've only lived here officially about one day. So when this topic of ego comes up I feel in a sense I logged on to stayingcyber for a reason unbeknowest to me. There is a message here. I need to ask for some help. In my prayers in the morning I say 'bless all the alcoholics and addicts that are still suffering and if I can help in any way then let me find myself in the position to do so'. Here I am in a new city and I think about that little part of my prayers and I think about in the big book when the best thing you can do to get out of your own head is to help another alcoholic. My HP has given me the opportunity in this city to adhere to 'progress not perfection'. So in simply put terms each day that I stay sober is progress. Yet when I get caught up in not practicing HALT then I get lost in my own head. The biggest stumbling block I have right now is being lonely. However it all depends on how I look at it because when I left my last place of residence there was this one guy at the meetings who kept on talking about changing your attitude. I'm trying to the best of my ability. Maybe I don't have my support group or even friends here in Calgary, I do know that I have a fellowship of men and women who get together and share their experience, strength and hope in order to stay sober one day at a time. Just going to the meetings here is enough to tell me that my HP brought me here for a reason, whatever it may be. At most meetings I say a little prayer to myself 'Help me to listen'. I can't do it myself. Thank You. GOD BLESS. Norm
Member: Bob C.
Location: Calgary
Date: 05 Aug 1998
Time: 17:54:43
Bob C.,alcoholic. Norm- you've got lots of friends in Calgary, you just haven't met them yet!!Write me if you want at bobone@netcom.ca welcome to stayingcyber!Check out the Coffee Pot.
Member: Janice H.
Location: Mississipi
Date: 05 Aug 1998
Time: 19:02:33
to bob c Calgary tried to find you on the coffee pot but the page ran out please respond on how to do this thanks Jaice H. Mississippi
Member: Bob C.
Location: Calgary
Date: 05 Aug 1998
Time: 19:16:01
Bob C.,alcoholic.Janice-not quite sure what you mean" the page ran out.Do the same thing you do here.post your thoughts and wait and see what happens.My e-mails above if you need something a little more one on one.Things can move a little slow in computerland! Keep trying!
Member: Janice H.
Location: Mississippi
Date: 05 Aug 1998
Time: 19:23:32
I cannot get to coffee pot or discussion meetings because page is always too full How do I contact anyone?
Member: Janice H.
Location: Mississippi
Date: 05 Aug 1998
Time: 19:24:58
Member: Bob
Location:
Date: 05 Aug 1998
Time: 19:35:36
Go to the bottom of this page and click on "Coffee Pot." You will be there
Member: John M C
Location: Herts UK
Date: 05 Aug 1998
Time: 20:24:59
Hi John Mc here."What's the point of step4?"."To highlight your "grosser defects". Came the reply.We listed people,institutions or principles with whom we were angry (B/Book pp64).How do we do that,(B/Book pp65))"what do l do then"."step5"!"l do'nt have to analyse it" "Nope"."Thats all there is to it"."Yep"."No life story". "Nope,just follow the clear cut precise instructions,simple,if you've got the type of person described on pp18 B/Book to guide you".QUESTION:"What has AA got in common with organised religion"ANS:Too many variations of a simple theme.QUOTE:lf you can bear to hear your, truth twisted by knaves, to make to make a trap for fools ,then you'll be a man my son.Such is life in AA.lf Bill W could see how we mis-use the 12&12 he'd turn in his grave.God Bless.
Member: Gary M.
Location: Waukesha
Date: 05 Aug 1998
Time: 21:03:41
I came on to spread a little self pity around. After reading some of the storys here I dont really have any reason to wallo in my own. You see, I have promised my wife of three years to give up my best friend of fifteen years. My Whiskey. I dont have any reason to drink except that I like (liked) it. Shirly V. of Illinois - keep the faith hun. Jesus doesn't give us more than we can handle tho it seems like sometimes. You inspired my night and reading what you said kept me from getting a jug tonight. One Night at a time.
Member: Tina
Location: NJ
Date: 05 Aug 1998
Time: 23:55:41
Hi I am Tina and I am an alcoholic. I have 5 days. I am teenager and I am having trouble dropping my old friends. I have a sponcer and a home group, and in an out pacient program in the local hosipital. By the grace of God, one day at a time I will be able to come up with 90 days. This is really great I,m glad have came here to share. I will keep coming back.
Member: Mary
Location: seattle
Date: 06 Aug 1998
Time: 00:36:37
Hi everybody - I'm an alcoholic and my name is Mary. I think my EGO must be in control tonight, because twice I've booted myself out and once I've erased several pages of a wonderful sharing - just in a hurry to share my "golden words of wisdom"? Silly me! Shirley, my love, if you are still with us, please know that I am praying for you. God ddn't bring you this far to drop you! Please hang in. Please call your local AA office - they will send someone to take you to a meeting. Janice, Peggy, LC and all the others who've been out there doing more research...welcome home. A head full of AA and a belly full of booze is absolute misery. Kevin S. in Ireland - when I first got sober, I knew a guy with 20 years whose Higher Power was the love he found in the rooms of AA. 5 Years later, I listened to him share his experience in finally finding God. As for the BB - my first reaction to it was that it had very poor grammer, and certianly didn't talk about anything I could relate to. I found the 12 and 12, and stuck to t, till the fog finally cleared enough (more than a year later) that I could understand the BB. You can stay sober by just not picking up the first drink (another true-ism that I didn't understand at first) But it's not much fun that way - that's why we call it white knuckle sobriety. But if that's all you can do, then do it...until you can do something else. Mark L...Ain't that free floating fear the pits? Know that that is all it is - go on your vacation, and just remember to call AA when you get there. Even if you can't get to a meeting, jsut that connection will help alot. Terry B...What I heard you sharing was humiliation, good friend - not humility. Humility is hard but it doesn't hurt that much! stick around..you'll see before too long. OK - that's it! I jsut got disconnected by Webtv in mid sentence! I think my HP is sending my a loud and clear message! Quit talking and liste...while I pray for each and every one of my new friends in sober cyberspace.
Member: Mark L
Location: S.I. N.Y
Date: 06 Aug 1998
Time: 12:05:57
Hey! Mark L alcoholic, I just got really depressed. 3 people in the program just relapsed. 2 I know pretty well. 1 had over 2 years the other 1 a little under. I am sad because I don't want to got there. I am leaving for Maine Saturday Morning. I just didn't really need to hear this right now. I was just talking to a friend in the program who thought 1 would be okay, but she didn't want to tell anyone. Then I ended up sharing I miss my Mescal. I don't think I want to drink, but this is scary stuff. I know relapse is not a requirement. All I have to remember is DDT & MM,which means DON'T DRINK TODAY! and MEETING MAKERS MAKE MEETINGS! Sorry I am off topic but I surely don't believe right now that my is Ego is there.
Thanks
Member: Kelley J
Location: CA
Date: 06 Aug 1998
Time: 13:39:22
Hi I'm Alcoholic a Kelley Thanks for being here everybody. I can't have a meeting all by myself.
Member: David B
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 06 Aug 1998
Time: 18:44:06
What a drunk I was, what an alkie I am. Per our topic, I believe the vast majority of the ego deflation AA Comes of Age refers to takes place before we are able to get sober with the help of AA. It was my ego that kept me out there, kept me different, kept me better than, kept me less than, and kept me miserable. Had my ego not been sufficiently deflated prior to my arrival at the doors of our hallowed halls, I would never have entered those doors in the first place. I was not court ordered, I was not work ordered. I had been married to an Alanon for a number of years and she had done her best to show me how I had been beating the hell out of myself. Nobody else had to lay a finger on me, I came to AA on Sept. 8, 1981 ready to go to any lengths without even knowing it. I'm ever so grateful that I haven't had to be a scout, like Bonnie I've been able to stick around.
So Bob in answer to your question, yes the first step has everything to do with ego deflation. I believe I took the first step before I even knew what it was. Spiritual truths are sometimes just that simple, aint it cool!
I believe the traditions should rightly be applied at group level in most cases and as such don't have a lot to do with ego deflation, using the traditions for that purpose is getting the cart before the horsey.
The remaining eleven steps keep me right sized. They allow me to exist in a universe that I am not the center of.
I used to know everything about anything there was anything to know about. Today I know God loves us, and as long as I ask him for another day in the morning I can considered myself recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body for another 24 hours. As long as I (thats me guys) don't take the first drink and live the principles of our program. Of course sometimes I get buttholeitis and have to start at step one all over again, I just thank God I don't have to drink behind being human.
Thanks for letting me share.
Love in the Fellowship DB
Member: Bill W's friend
Location:
Date: 06 Aug 1998
Time: 20:35:53
Wow! Iv'e very much enjoyed reading this discussion. Yes, I too have alcoholism. I'm grateful this evening that I have made decisions throughout this day to surrender and allow God into my life. And, what do you know ... there is a good chance I'll fall asleep sober tonight. Thank you all for your honesty, hope and heart felt discussion.
Member: Doren C
Location: md
Date: 06 Aug 1998
Time: 22:19:54
Hey, thanks for the help everyone. I am doing much better and have found intense serenity prayers to be helpful. Also I am geting help with some others probs w/proffessionals. I am very lucky to not be alone, my sponsor and his wife are extremely helpful. It is good to know I am not alone or different or crazy. I will follow your suggestions and try to keep you updated as to my progress. ODAT. (one day at a time). thanks and God Bless You all!
Member: Michelle
Location: CO
Date: 07 Aug 1998
Time: 11:19:24
Shirley - Asking why is not going to reveal the answer. To put it simply "It doesn't matter how the Jackass got into the ditch, just get him out!" There is nothing in this world that could happen to you that could get any better by drinking.
Go to meetings (free) and get a sponsor (free) and get a big book (free) and read it. page 449: "And acceptance is the answer to ALL my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation- some fact of my life-unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."
Member: Jo Ann B.
Location: Texas
Date: 07 Aug 1998
Time: 13:32:59
Hi, I'm Jo Ann, an alcoholic. Been reading all the "stuff" you-all have to say and am so glad I "tuned" in. I used to be Quality Control for the whole world, but now I'm better-still try to take it back often, but God and AA keep me in line. An old saw I've heard around the tables: An alcoholic is the only person who can be lying in the gutter and looking down on people. Boy, have I ever seen that in lots of us! Dr. Silkworth said the ego has to be SMASHED - and I think he was right. Over-inflated egos, anger & resentment are our problems-it's all in the BB. But, lots of us say we DON'T have egos-well, Inferiority is the other side of the coin on SUperiority. Balance is what we are supposed to strive for-we are God's -we do not grovel before anyone, but we don't lord it over anyone either. One little sentence on Anger:(a prayer actually) God save me from being angry! It's in the BB. One little idea about Why me, God? - Why not me? It's a daily, sometimes hourly undertaking - this spiritual life. To the lady who is so bitter (the disabled spine) Bill W. tells us in the 12 and 12 that sometimes we are so belligerant (at God) that we can't even pray - God understands-just keep on keepin' on and don't drink! Thanks, all.
Member: Bitsey
Location: NC CA
Date: 07 Aug 1998
Time: 20:07:11
Bitsey and I am an alchohalic. I have not checked in for awhile because I have been very busy (which is better than very drunk). life has been moving to fast. I cant't seem to get more than a few days of sobriety in. but I keep triing. i still have been unable to get to meetings but I have been reading here and the coffee pot when I get a chance. I am feeling down today. that sense of wanting to cry about not much of anything. i just found out that an old friend shot himself recently. He had been sober ten years. We had a quite drunkalog together many years ago. The way I found out was strange and kind of shocking. Any way, hope to make it through the weekend. Work and children take up so much time. i think my only escape is "Bud'. I guess.
Member: Barbara S.
Location: Bethlehem, FL
Date: 07 Aug 1998
Time: 22:05:03
Bitsey- Can you call some one in your area? Sounds like you need another alcholic to talk to face to face, rather than running with the old friend"BUD", I know for me when i have gotten to one of those lack of clarity, that is what I have had to do. I am sure some one would watch your kids, and in some areas they probably bring the kids with to, (depending on how many you have). Please call someone..
You will be grateful that you did. That is not a good spot to stay in very long.
HP has a lot of good things in store for us, if we take these simple tools that are put before us.
Member: stogie
Location: new mexico
Date: 07 Aug 1998
Time: 22:29:37
This is my first time on this chat. It's great to see that DDGM1D is still alive and well. The steps are the way out for me. Anyone who is having a problem needs to grabhold of a sponsor and begin or begin again.Thanks for the read.
Member: stogie
Location: new mexico
Date: 07 Aug 1998
Time: 22:31:43
This is my first time on this chat. It's great to see that DDGM1D is still alive and well. The steps are the way out for me. Anyone who is having a problem needs to grabhold of a sponsor and begin or begin again.Thanks for the read.
Member: Christine M.
Location: Bayville, NJ
Date: 07 Aug 1998
Time: 22:44:52
Hi, My name is Christine and I am an alcoholic. I was so glad to see so many others point out the stark difference between ego-deflation aka humility AND humiliation. I don't know an alcoholic who hasn't suffered some humiliation when they were out there. I had a real problem with this concept in the early years of my sobriety. I now know that HUMILITY DOES NOT EQUAL HUMILIATION. I was so beaten down when I got to these halls. I had NO SELF ESTEEM and had humiliated myself all over town. Being HUMBLE did not mean I was stupid and or had to submit to anyone or anything. I hated the sayings especially, Keep It Simple Stupid (KISS) and still do. I didn't think I was stupid and still don't but I will agree that my best thinking kept me drunk. I think for most of us, we come in here so beat up, the last thing we need is for someone to beat us down some more. Being HUMBLE for me meant that I didn't have all the answers, didn't have any answers (that were right, anyways) really, and for the most part, didn't even know the questions. Being humble for me means, keeping an open mind, knowing that I don't know everything, wanting to learn and remaining teachable. I can say with all honesty the only thing I did "right" for a long time was to "keep coming" and TRIED to keep an open mind.(That doesn't mean I didn't form opinions and judge people, I just didn't carve them in stone) I have changed my mind about things in this program a million times since I first started coming about ten years ago. I have gone 360 degrees and then some.
Kevin, Yes, I believe it is possible to stay sober without believing in God or reading the Big Book. I don't know for how long or what the quality of that sobriety will be but let me just say this: You don't have to make a decision about how you feel about your higher power or the Big Book today. You can take your time making those decisions and you can change your mind at any time. Don't let your beliefs stop you from attending meetings and reading the literature and talking to other alcoholics. Take your time, gather information, and just TRY to keep an open mind about the things that you hear. Some of it will be good, some will be garbage and after a while you will be able to tell the difference, for you.
Thank you for letting me share.
Love and Peace,
Christine M.
Member: Leon S.
Location: Portland, OR
Date: 07 Aug 1998
Time: 23:07:00
Thank God(my Higher Power) for Alcoholics Anonymous! My name is Leon and I am an alcoholic. Life w/out chemicals is good. A.A. has given this drunk a second chance at life and what it is like to be human. The page 449 the Michelle brought out, gives me the willies as it reminds me of my first sponsor. It worked for me then and continues to do so now. The key for me was surrender and WORK the STEPS in the order they were written and go to meetings...go to meetings...go to meetings!!
Member: jan f
Location: ohio
Date: 07 Aug 1998
Time: 23:13:50
hi all...jan greatfully recovering alcoholic for 11 years this month...I do think we have to believe in a higher power to 'recover'...as time goes on that higher power can be our new selves. Self esteem, believing in oneself, staying sober for oneself is the key I found that works. After all these years do I still have the desire to drink...you bet. But I believe in myself, and my self knows that to drink is to die....I want and plan to live a long life.....just my thoughts jan f
Member: Christina L.
Location: Queen Charlotte Islands
Date: 08 Aug 1998
Time: 00:02:15
Hi folks, I'm Christina and I am a recovering alcoholic. By God's grace I'll be celebrating 8 years in a few more weeks. Today is still the most important day for me. Anytime I start thinking too far in advance I too start racing.
Janice H., I understand isolation, whether self imposed or not. In the last years of my drinking I isolated because I had no control and was ashamed at what I had become. I had big dreams and couldn't get beyond not taking that first drink. I ended up in strange cities, places and situations. To just be here sharing proves to me there is something out there looking after me. I'm alive and well.
We moved to the Queen Charlotte Islands about 4 years ago and it's VERY isolated. We have a small meeting here in town every Monday night which I look forward to. We had 6 regular members but then Don hung himself and now there are 5. I am the only woman here and I found myself angry and resentful for some time......imagine....at what??? So I got back to the basics, joined LIM and have heard from women all over the world. I'm not the best at correspondance but I try my best.....and that's what I used to tell my sponsees. Don't try my best or anyone else's try YOUR best.
I love the topic of ego deflation. It reminds me of the time I was out with contractors and senior employees with an international oil company I was working for. Somehow, I had managed to upchuck all over the table we were sitting at. The absolute horror and disgust on their faces is still as fresh in my memory as it was then. I swept my arm across the table wiping the puke to the floor, stood up saying "what is that awful smell?" and proceeded to go to another table just before they kicked me out as though I had nothing to do with it. During that whole night my only moments of clarity was the look on those people's faces and wiping off the table with my arm. I had many such antics before I started isolating and that, for me, was true humiliation.
Getting over those times and being able to share what happened has helped me to understand the difference between humiliation and humility. For me today humility is the ability to stand and the willingness to kneel.
Today my ego still gets in the way. I work for the Government in the Social Services field and I have clients who help keep me humble and I have a higher power who I try to rely on and turn things over to.
Anyhow folks, it's been great reading your stuff. This is my first time on an AA website and you have all helped me tremendously. To those of you who are new or just coming back off a drunkk please keep sharing. I need you all. I had such a nice day sober I think I'll try it again tomorrow.
Member: Pat M.
Location: East Tennessee
Date: 08 Aug 1998
Time: 05:02:06
HELLO EVERYBODY I'M PAT M. AND I'LL ALLWAYS BE AN ALCOHOLIC. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE BEEN ON THE NET MUCH LESS TRY TO FIND A MEETING . PLEASE HELP ME GET STARTED. I'M STILL LEARNING TO ASK FOR HELP WHICH IS A FORM OF HUMILITY. THANKS FOR BEING HERE.
Member: JOANNA W.
Location: LARGO, FL.
Date: 08 Aug 1998
Time: 06:41:24
HI ALL I'M GLAD TO SEE I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN'T SLEEP THIS MORNING. IT'S NICE TO KNOW THIS SITE IS ALWAYS THERE. I JUST FEEL CONNECTED WHEN I COME TO ONE OF THE MEETING SITES. I STILL NEED THAT. JUST TO BE IN TOUCH WITH SOMEONE THAT KNOWS WHO I AM. THANKS FOR LETTING ME SHARE. JOANNA
Member: Owen J.
Location: Aiken, South Carolina
Date: 08 Aug 1998
Time: 08:37:36
Dear friends in AA,
My name is Owen Jones and I am an alcoholic. I am giving this site a visit for the first time and I am glad to see such a good, "hard-core" AA topic--ego-deflation--being discussed. I had to be confronted with my alcoholism. A very strong woman by the name of Geraldine took my inventory. At the time she was 79 and had 37 years of sobriety. She looked me in the eye and told me I had a problem, that I better do something about it, and I better start by admitting I was an alcoholic. For the first time in my life, I was speechless! I didn't argue. I felt like a little bug that wanted to crawl between the floor boards. But at that moment, 12 years ago, the desire to drink left me. I had an ego-deflation. The desire has never returned. But the ego was still there, only manifested in other areas. I always have a list of things that I want to accomplish, usually based on grandiosity. All that now has been taken away from me. I have wanted to simplify my life--but only in theory. Now I have nothing, and owe tons of money, and I am forced to make life a lot simpler. So I am one of the ones who knows humility mostly through humiliation. The two can go hand in hand, and often do. Often it is necessary. The religious examples abound, of course. Christ on the Cross. Isaiah and Jeremiah persecuted for doing good. Socrates. In AA, we duplicate their examples every day. God speaks to us when a door is opened inside and that door opens when we realize that we are not in control--when we surrender. It might not just be alcohol. Thanks for letting me be a part of your group--just for today! Owen Jones
Member: MOTOJOE
Location: Virginia Beach, VA
Date: 08 Aug 1998
Time: 08:54:32
Good Morning; I'm MOTOJOE and I'm an alcaholic. I need to remember that ego deflation doesn't mean feeling like dirt. It means being "right sized". I can be proud of my accomplishments but not boastful and arrogant. It also means having that "joyfull humility" that comes from beign connected to my HP. Want humility? Try starting a business! Last Friday I bought a retail store. I don't hve fear of economic insecurity; I know I'm economically insecure!. All I can do is treat my employees and customers with dignity and kindness. My HP will take care of the rest. Got to go to my home group meeting. If you're ever in Va. Beach, try the best meeting in town: Saturday Morning Brunch Bunch. Come have breakfast with us!
Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 08 Aug 1998
Time: 09:23:55
hi, tony,alcoholic pat get a yellow pages and look up aa they can send you a book of meeting places,well with the grace of God and aa and humility acting one day at a time has brought me to my sixth month of sobriety im in the real world ad im not running from it im accepting it.my father died monday morning and through my beleiveng in God and practiceing aa and good life habbits i was able to accept this . i was able to be with my family and help support them i was thier really thier . my mother said she was proud God acted through me. i almost cant explain it. anyway you all are part of this too thank you .....God bless you dad ill miss you and some day come see you!
Member: Anita
Location:
Date: 08 Aug 1998
Time: 09:30:18
What are meetings doing for people? I stopped going over ten years ago because it's like listening to a broken record. If meetings REALLY worked, why do we continue to hear about relapses??? Trying to force everyone into this model is an injustice.
Member: Cathy K.
Location: Winnipeg Canada
Date: 08 Aug 1998
Time: 12:00:08
Hi i'm Cathy and I'm an alcoholic.I've been sober for over six years and I've had my share of good and bad times sober. I go to a mettings on a regular basis to find out what happens to people who don't go to meetings on a regular basis. It's not that the meetings don't work, relapse happens when alcoholics forget about God and others - when we only think of ourselves and our little problems. When I go to a metting I can help someone else and share my experience, strength and hope. I go to meetings to give not to just take. Thanks for letting me share. Have a good and sober day everyone!
Member: David B
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 08 Aug 1998
Time: 12:27:10
Please excuse my 2nd post for the week but Anita's question is calling my name way loud. With 17 years sober on 9/8, I quit meetings for almost 2 years for my own reasons, I have kept coming back to Staying Cyber for about six months and F2F meetings for nearly a month now. Anita, we continue to hear about relapse because as alkies we sometimes loose perspective on just what it was like way back when. There is an immense amount of space to fit into if you want what we have. Believe in God or don't. Stay sober for great amounts of time (one day at a time) or dont. Work the steps or don't. Become involved in service or don't. Drink or don't. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. That really is a pretty wide open model for inclusion in a group of people that have literally saved my life many times over. I hope you keep coming back long enough to get comfortable again, I have. Thanks for letting me share, sorry for the 2nd post.
Love in the Fellowship DB
Member: JANICE H.
Location: MISSISSIPPI
Date: 08 Aug 1998
Time: 12:39:25
To all WELCOME Janice from Mississippi. To Anita Meetings do work! Especially here! This is the only way we can keep up with people like us. Drinking is a very lonely way of life that noone really wants. I am having a very hard time and need to read these posts everyday! My new sobriety date is today so you know I am struggling a lot. Let's try together! At one time, I had eight years of sobriety and it was the happiest time of my life. It is very hard the second or third time but I want the old feeling back. The topic is Ego. My ego put me back in a miserable situation. I thought I knew it all. I DON'T!!!!!! Ijust want help and am willing to try any new ways from those who are making it. I am very lonely and isolated here in Mississippi. I was used to meetings in Slidell, La. I am going to be spending time with my daughter there in Slidell. My grandson wants me there for his first day of school and I am going to go to a meeting there. But I have to come home and need the people on this web including you. Please post something else! LOVE JANICE
Member: Bob C.
Location: Calgary
Date: 08 Aug 1998
Time: 12:56:18
Bob C.,alcoholic. Welcome to Pat M.!Come on over to the Coffe Pot and get to know us! Anita-A.A. doesn't claim to be the only way to sober up. But the facts show that working the twelve steps has been the most successful way. And to learn how to do this,we need to listen to a variety of experiebces of people who have done them. The best place to do this is at meetings.We also learn that we are not the center of the universe and to accept that just because we don't like something doesn't make it wrong for someone else. Re-humilty. admitting when I'm not good at something is humility,as is admitting when I am good at something.Ego in itself is nothing more then self-awareness. It's when this sense of self becomes warped by grandiosity OR self-pity that the problem occurs. Humility=self-honesty.Best way that I've found to get this is through the process of steps 4-9.
Member: Anita
Location:
Date: 08 Aug 1998
Time: 13:05:56
hi Janice, Meetings do appear to work for some people but not for ALL people. Just as some people love to watch and listen to soap operas and others do not. Getting involved in volunteer activities, immersing oneself in cultural activities also gets our minds out of self and into helping others. I can't imagine living life in such a manner that something terrible is going to happen to me if I don't go to a meeting. This has been my experience and i know everyone is different. I ask that you not beat up on me because my opinion is different from yours.
Member: Lola B.
Location: San Clemente
Date: 08 Aug 1998
Time: 17:07:23
Hi, Lola, alcoholic. Can't imagine getting the mind out of the self..Big Book tells us the self-will is the alkie's problem. It centers in the mind. That's what needs be removed so that I can be of service to God and fellow alkies like me. 4 thru 9, as Bob said is how we get relieved of it. Lola B.
Member: Jo Ann B.
Location: Texas
Date: 08 Aug 1998
Time: 17:13:14
My mother always told me, "If you can't say something good or positive, don't say anything. I didn't mind her of course, but she was so right. I get real agitated when ANYone puts down the AA program, and the BB - Those of us who happen to be on firm spiritual footing at the time of the put-down can handle it, but many fragile recovering alcoholics and newcomers are still seeking asn "easier, softer way" and do not need to hear the gibberish of those who cannot accept this program of miracles. If you truly don't want to be beat up on, Anita, get on with your cultural activities and soap operas and don't waste our time - If you don't want what we have, the door swings both ways.
Member: Connie G.
Location: Christiansburg, VA
Date: 08 Aug 1998
Time: 17:58:05
Hi, I'm Connie, an alcoholic. This is the first time I've joined in on an on-line meeting. So, this week's meeting is the 1st one I've read. I have a question for Anita, there's something I don't quite understand. If you do not like Alcoholics Anonymous or AA meetings, then why are you in on an in-line meeting? Years and years ago, I didn't like meetings either. So I just didn't go. If I didn't agree with AA, I would never have even looked for this site. Am I missing something here?
Also, I do not feel like something 'bad' is going to happen if I don't go to a meeting. I have not been able to go to many meetings the last 2 yrs. due to physical problems, and I would like nothing more than to be able to go to more meetings, but it's not because of 'fear' that I want to go. You get to a point somewhere in sobriety that you are not attending due to fear, but because it's what you WANT to do, it's where you belong. I couldn't imagine the last 2 yrs. without the support of my AA friends and sponsor thru the very difficult time's I've had. This is great to see an AA meeting right here in my room if I need it, and to all you members, thanks for being here for me.
Member: Barry L
Location: Poconos, PA
Date: 08 Aug 1998
Time: 18:55:51
I'm Barry and I'm an alcoholic
To answer Anita's question, I need aa meetings to help me keep my ego in check and stay right sized, to constantly remind me of the Fatal Disease I have called Alcoholism.
I had numerous dry spells in my drinking career, go to AA for a little while, get clear headed, then my ego would tell me I was different from these people, I did'nt need a GOD, a moral inventory, a set of rules to live by, I could stay sober myself, and I did for 18 months,and 6 months,and 34 months, well you get the picture. I continued to get drunk.
I surrendered to this disease, and I knew from past visits to AA and from friends who were Sober, that this AA thing could work, (everything I had tried on my own failed to keep me sober) So I embraced AA, the BigBook, and the 12 steps and 12 Traditions, through them I am learning to live as I never dreamed possible.
From the Big Book forward to the second edition. page, xi
"Upon therapy for the alcoholic himself, we surely have no monopoly. Yet it is our great hope that all those who have as yet found no answer may begin to find one in the pages of this book and will presently join us on the highroad to a new freedom."
A guy I know had almost 3 years sober, but had stopped going to meetings about a year ago, I ran into him while working Tuesday before last, asked him how he was doing, Oh Just fine he said etc. Three days after I talked to him he got drunk, stole a car and wrecked it. They buried him this week.
I need AA meetings to stay alive. Thats why I keep coming
p.s. why do people who don't need meetings anymore always come into our meetings and tell us about it, who are they trying to save?
Member: Bob C.
Location: Calgary
Date: 08 Aug 1998
Time: 19:16:12
Well said Jo Ann, Connie and Barry!! Thank you!
Member: Fred D
Location: Nova Scotia
Date: 08 Aug 1998
Time: 21:40:35
Some very interesting comments on EGO. I have a number of "one days at a time" and up to now felt I had everything under control. 14 years sober, life in order, don't need meetings because of the issues mentioned and the fact that I talk to other AA members alomst everyday in day to day stuff. HOWEVER, I know I am being overtaken by EGO. I can feel it. Cockyness is working its way into my life. I am going back to meetings REGULAR immediately and by chance also found this on line meeting. For anyone still dealing with EGO ( its quite a sneaky creature ) , find the nearest mirror and take a good look at the creature inside. I just did.
Member: David B 9/8/81
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 08 Aug 1998
Time: 22:13:44
Whoa everybody. This is beginnining to sound like an exclusive little club where the members don't have enough confididence in thier creator to allow someone to have thier own opinion. We just went through this very kind of difficulty at the coffee pot. Please don't let it happen here too. The thing we don't have room in AA for is small mindedness on a group wide scale. Lets all do some lookin in the mirror before chuckin another rock.
Anita, please keep comin back. Just lurk if thats all you can do, dear. I promise you there is no dark creature hanging around waiting for you to drop your guard so it can strike you drunk. If you have the desire to stop drinking you are most welcome here. If you want to talk my email address is alarmme@srv.net. Welcome home Anita, stick around.
What happened to one post a week at this meeting? There is the coffee pot, there are a number of chat rooms, (including mine. LOL ), there is email. Lets carry the message and be a little tolerant all y'all.
Member: carmella r
Location: manchester n h
Date: 08 Aug 1998
Time: 23:06:53
'wow hi im carmella and im a grateful recovered alcoholic im grateful for meetings they introduce me to newcomers who can save my life and they also teach me how to teach the big book to the newcomer i dont do many meetings away from home much any more but i do spend many fine hours weekly on good old fundimental big book study with my sponsees and actual 12 step calls meetings are an awesome alternative to that glum life i thought id have when i gave up my best friend of all..alcohol. the fellowship has provided this woman with friends and love id never have found on a couch watchin a soap opera... this is my very 1st meeting on line it is terrific.. this fellowship is awesome but this program is even better.. love to all
Member: Kerry B.
Location: Idaho
Date: 08 Aug 1998
Time: 23:59:17
I'm Kerry and I'm an alcoholic. Please allow me to share an excerpt from the Grapevine, Dated August 1946. This was written by Bill W. Page 28 in "As Bill Sees It" It is titled "Troublemakers Can Be Teachers"
"Few of us are any longer afraid of what any newcomer can do to our AA reputation or effectiveness. Those who slip, those who panhandle, those who scandalize, those with mental twists, those who rebel at the program, those who trade on the AA reputation--all such persons seldom harm an AA group for long.
Some of these have become our most respected and best loved. Some have remained to try our patience, sober nevertheless. Others have drifted away. We have begun to regard the troublesome ones not as menaces, but rather as our teachers. They oblige us to cultivate patience, tolerance, and humility. We finally see that they are only people sicker than the rest of us, that we who condemn them are the Pharisees whose false righteousness does our group the deeper spiritual damage."
I am only stating what Bill W. has written, take it or leave it.
Member: Pat M.
Location: East Tennessee
Date: 09 Aug 1998
Time: 00:14:56
Hi Ya'll , I'm Pat and I'm an Alcoholic. Thank's for the nice welcome! To Anita : I'm glad that there were people there for my first meeting I attended.If there had been no one there I truly believe I would be dead. I have been sober since March of 1992 and it helps for me to take a little responsability and show up for those who are just comming into the first A.A. meeting . My sponser and THE BOOK suggest WE carry the message to the still suffering alcoholic, and most alcoholics that I know don't have a computer when they decide they have had enough alcohol. Thank GOD for those who were there for me and to lead me back to a GOD that I had turned my back on. I love you all . Pat M.
Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 09 Aug 1998
Time: 01:47:25
tony alcoholic,anita if a stop sign at an intersection saves someones life , was it worth it being thier? ok well look at aa as that stop sign , one life and its all worth it.your opinion isnt bad but be open minded too and come back you never know it could be someone you love.
Member: Chuck le c
Location: yreka no. calif.
Date: 09 Aug 1998
Time: 03:39:19
hi everybody tis chuck and I am an alcolholic and I dont know if I am on last week or this coming ing week either way I only have a few coments to make this is sat night 1230 and God willing next wed. will be my 33 yr of cont. sobriety i read earlier how some of us had an ego problem when they first came in well when I came in if your shoes matched you thought you were at the wrong meeting. i had no self respect. ihave it now because i earned it back at the tables of a.a. putting a quarter on the table was a lot of money it took me 6 mo. to pay for my second edition big book an ego was n't thought too much of at that time we only had one meeting a week and six days and 22 hours to deal with guilt remorse i haven't heard that word at a meeting in a long time we used to use it as a topic for a meeting folks i love you so much it hurts warmly i am just like you a recovering alcoholic doing it a day at a time good night and GOD bless each asnd every one of you
Member: Bill W
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada
Date: 09 Aug 1998
Time: 04:10:13
Hi I'm Bill and avery grateful alcoholic.When I first came to the programme I was told to do 90 meetings in 90 days and if I wasn't happy I could have my misery back. Then I was told to find a meeting where I felt comfortable. I did all that and even at meetings I may not like there is always something there to take away with me.My ego used to be gigantic but over many 24 hours I've seen it shrink some. Yes it's still there and by not going to meetings or losing touch it starts to swell again.To all newcomers welcome,to all who have expressed their point of view thank you. This site cannot take the place of f2f meetings so when in doubt pick up the phone and call aa, your sponsor or another member. God Bless you all.