Posts from Discussion Form

Member: Chuck K.
Location: Texas
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 09:39:44

Comments

Hi everybody, my name is Chuck and I'm a hopeless alcoholic. By God's Grace and His Doing for me what I could never do for myself, I've been sober all day.

How about LET GO AND LET GOD for a topic?

Member: WilB
Location: France( Cote Dor)
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 10:13:24

Comments

My name is Wil and I am an alcoholic. I live in a remote town where there are not meetings. From time to time I go to the big city (once a month) and go to meetings for a couple of days. I have been sober for almost 3 years and sometimes I am afraid I will go back to drinking. One of my problems is that I want to control every apect of my life and the life of my significant other. Life for me is not easy but I am greateful for what I have. I need to remember this more often because I get very depressed and anxious. I have to make an effort to let god in charge of my life . This si my first time sharing at the WWW and I hope this will also help me to deal with my inner problems.

Thank you, Wil

Member: WilB
Location: France( Cote Dor)
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 10:13:41

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Thank you, Wil

Member: dj
Location: norfolk
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 10:16:47

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step 1 word 1 (we) is the start

Member: donaldmacrae @hotmail.com
Location:
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 10:30:19

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hi my name is donald i an from sydney novoa scotia how do i joinethe group

Member: Tamara B
Location: Ohio
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 11:49:35

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Hi, My name is Tamara. I am a nurse. I have a contract with the ohio State Board of nursing due to my alcohol and narcotic use. The contract states that I must attend 3 mtgs a week. I find mtgs hopeless at times. I can relate to some degree with everyone who gives a lead but how will this keep me sober, is relating to another person the basis of keeping sober. oh, by the way, where do I find this higher power? Tamara

Member: Ladd G.
Location: Wetumpka,Al.-USA
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 12:09:38

Comments

My name is Ladd,Im alcoholic,Donald you are in!To the nurse read what the second man intered,we need each other to help us see things we might not see by ourselves(you spot it you got it)here we give suport via you are not alone.If you keep comeing back(with an open mind)you will find a higherpower(god,mohamid,the great spirit,the power of good)thatwill improver your life as well as take our booze problem. I live in a small town too when I go into town for meetings god goes too,when I come home,he comes home with me. We all have problems,sometimes I have to ask,did I take the third step or not! That is the meaning of let go and let god for me.I havent had a drink in almost 5 years,often that is all I need to remember-I really thought I would die drunk.I love you all,really,LOVE LADD

Member: Tamara
Location: Ohio
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 12:22:05

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Hi, Tamara the nurse again. Love and Trust are to very big issues for me. In AA everyone says they love you. How can they love when they dont even know me. How can trust another addict. I cant even trust my parents and I'm suppose to trust another alcoholic who is an expert on conning the world. Love is used too lightly in mtgs. What makes AA meetings any different than any other 12 step program. What I hear at meetings is that AA is the only way!

Member: Joe Y.
Location: Northern Ct. (U.S.A.)
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 12:28:24

Comments

Good morning friends. I'm Joe, a greatful recovering cross addict.Chuck, great topic. Ironically enough this was the same topic as the meeting I attended last night. Steps 1,2,and 3.

Last week I shared discussing that I've lived life my way up to 3 months ago. I came so close to death it's scary for this alcoholic/addict to think about. My life became so unmanigable I thought my only option left was suicide. Thank God, for it was his doing, the police got to me first. They helped me get the help I needed, A hospital. Then I came close while Detoxing. I got on the path to the Pearly Gates and heard something I got used to hearing," no way Joe, your not staying here". I screwed up my life so bad, God didn't even want me staying with him. So here I am. You guys are stuck with me. Ha ha.

That was my spiritual awakening. For some reason, God wants me here. I'm not sure why yet, but I'm working on it. I wake up in the morning and thank Him for the help managing my life yesterday and ask him for help today. I couldn't,(can't), manage my life on my own. "I NEED HELP". I admitted I am an alcoholic/addict. I came to believe in a power higher than myself, I call God. And I made the decision to turn my life and will over to Him. It feels good to have let go. I gave all my baggage to Him and said," fine, you want me to stay here so bad, then you can help me deal with all this crap". And that's the way I get through life now. When I run into a problem I stop and think, "how would God want me to deal with this". If I can't figure it out, I give it to Him. Before I know it, I have the solution. I just smile and say thanks. It's nice not to get upset over stupid little things anymore. I don't have to because I'm not doing it alone my way. I have help. Between God and you people, my life is great. It's not perfect, but just remember, my worst day clean and sober is 100 times better than my best day drunk and high.

(((DONALD))) Welcome!!!! Guess what! You just became a member. All you need to join is the will to stop drinking. Do you have what it takes? I look foreword to hereing from you.

Well I thank all of you for being here for me. Today is a special day for me. I am celibrating my 3 month aniversary. Yahoo. life is great!!!! God bless you all. Love ya, Joe

Member: Avril G
Location: Driffield UK
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 12:33:54

Comments

Hi, Avril here, alcoholic

Thanks for the topic Chuck, and DONALD, you just turn up here and share and you are part of the meeting, and WELCOME both to you and Tamara. Feel free to e-mail anyone who posts their address here, if you wish to 'talk' off the site. Let Go and Let God, was (is) the hardest part of the programme for this alkie. When I drank, I ruled the world, I controlled everyone in it, and I was a user and abuser of people, places and things, and no-one was gonna get in my way!! Today my life is so much easier, since I got a manager(ess) in. I do not follow any kind of religion, so newcomers, if you don't like the word God, hell, it's only a word, I cannot define my own Highr Power today, I call he/she/it God for simplicity's sake. For the most part, I can accept that whatever happens in my life today, it is all part of God's wonderful plan, and the reason for the down days is so that I will not become too complacent, and I will appreciate the good things in my life all the more. Someone shared with me today, about a spiritual awakening, and ended by saying, "I have never had a bad day since that night" and do you know, I could identify with that!! I do not have bad days in sobriety, there are good days and there are learning (or growing) days. My most recent test of faith, was letting go of the idea that I could somehow persuade my 21yr old daughter that her forthcominh marriage (Two weeks time on August 8th) is not a good idea. For reasons which are far too long to share here, I can see her making exactly the same mistakes as I did (and my mother before me, I shouldn't wonder) and I thank God for AA, my sponsor, and the people in the programme, who have helped me to see the truth, which I have always been told will set me free, and I have had to let go and let God. Today, I can say I have let go totally, and I will feel proud to be at the wedding as mother of the bride, and if God decrees that the marriage will fail (as 3 of mine did!) I will still be sober, capable, and here for her, and she knows that. I am so grateful today, that for one day, I can hand my life over to the care of a Loving God, as I understand (or don't) I use the power of prayer constructively, today, praying (as it states in How It Works ) only for knowledge of his will, and the power to carry that out. I have a sign on my wall, lest I forget, that says, "Dear God, nothing is going to happen to me today which you and I cannot handle together" I believe this to be true, today, and 10yrs ago, I was a firm non-believer, and what's more, I never was going to believe. I do believe today that God did not save me from rowning to kick me to death on the beach, and no matter how bad it gets, providing I do not drink, I will learn from the bad times, at least I always have done up until now. Keep on Keeping On

Goodie@cwcom.net

Member: Albuquerque John
Location: Scotland (today)
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 12:38:20

Comments

First things first!!

As one who has recovered from what seemed at the time to be a hopeless state of mind and body and being like most "real alcoholics", I remember clearly the moment the shit "hit the fan. See that was the moment when for the first time I was totally honest with myself! The moment when my mind wanted a drink but my body could no longer consume the stuff. That's the place where most "real alcoholics" hold on to - the moment of clarity - it's very special.

I remember saying a prayer in my hopeless state, thousands of miles from home, in a place so remote I in my blackout had taken myself to. That was the moment when my creator entered into my life in a new dimension. The moment I came face to face with God as I understand him.

See, I was a selfish self-centred person; a liar a cheat and a con man. Most alcoholics of my type have all of these traits. We are so good at it we even lie to ourselves. See I knew I was powerless over alcohol long before the shit "hit the fan". But I needed alcohol to get to the end! I could not reach the end without booze!. Booze was my best friend, it helped me do things I could not normally do, I had a ball for years with the stuff! It took me to places I would not normally have got to. I was full of fear and it camouflaged my fears. It became the master and I became the servant - at the beginning it wasn't that way. I honestly don't know when I crossed the line. How I survived some of the situations and places it helped take me to I don't know. All I do know is that God must have had a hand in it. I believe alcoholics are very special! Very fortunate people - in fact the luckiest people in the world - must be!! We arrived at AA - the place where we meet other selfish self centred individuals, who, because we are sick, come to treat our alcoholism. But first we have to find out what the problem is in order to find the prescription.

In order to do that we join the group. In that group of people we find some who have recovered from the hopeless state of mind and body. They, like me, spend a lot of time showing other alcoholics how we recovered. See I don't have a secret - if I did I would still be selfish! I would want to keep it, but I found over many years that I couldn't hold on to it if I didn't give it away (the message, that is).

The Foreword to the First Edition of the Big Book explains the group of people I joined - see my group in Albuquerque reads that part of the Big Book out before our meeting starts. Join us - the only requirement is a desire to stop drinking.

God bless all you real alkies out there.

Member: Paul
Location: U.K.
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 13:18:36

Comments

I ask god as I believe in to help me in every aspect of my life, & to protect me from anxieties. Sometimes I don't understand how it all works, but it does.

If we ask god to help us, what we ask for will happen. This is my personal belief.

I hope that this view does not upset anyone of a more rigid religious affiliation.

God bless you all.

Member: Prudence
Location: Wa
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 13:24:39

Comments

Hi all, Prudence, alcoholic, Great topic. This IS the hardest part for me. I have such a hard time trusting myself or anyone else for that matter, that it is so hard for me to let go and let GOD. I have made so many bad choices in my life just trying to control EVERYTHING, and I am so full of fear. I do believe in my greater spirit and on a daily basis I ask for willingness to have the courage and strength to do HIS will, not mine (mine gets me into trouble!!!!). This is a process not an event. I will continue to grow in this program for it saves my life one day at a time. Thankyou, Peace, Prudence

Member: Kathy F
Location: Iowa
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 13:27:51

Comments

My name is Kathy and I am an alcoholic and a drug addict.

Donald - anyone is in as long as they want to be.

Tamara - I too had similar problems as you discussed. I didn't believe anyone that said they loved or cared about me (I'd been hurt too many times by people in the past that spoke those same words) that's why I tend to say I'll pray for you or I'll keep you in my thoughts.

I had a very hard time "finding" a HP and then an even harer time "turning" things over to Him. I still am no where near where I hope to end up with this relationship, but this is a program of progress not perfection. I was brought up with a religious background and had turned against in as time went by. When I finally found my way into AA I couldn't trust people or any God. But, I did find friends who as time went by actually did show me that they cared and that is where I began to see the God that worked through others. I do not think I have any answers - but I have found a level of belief that works for me. I know that I can ask God to help me through a troubling time and some how someone will show to help me through it as long as I allow them. But to me the most important asspect of my belief is the conscience - I simply say what whould God want me to do and that is what I do... it has given me morals (I never knew what those were before) I no longer have the urge to controll everything (I say everything because being an imperfect human I still have urges at times to take over the steering wheel) I know that things will happen both good and bad in life and just thank God for the good and ask him how to use the bad to help me or others in the long run.

Anyone, if you want to chat with me my icq # is 27446401 and my email is garandkath@aol.com

Thanks for the great topic

Member: Steve H.
Location: southern ohio
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 13:37:47

Comments

Hi guys and gals, my name is Steve and I am a acloholic. Ihave been sober for almost 16 years but this is my first foray into a cybermeeting. I like the choice of a topic. "Let God",is one of the hardest things to do for most of us who have reached this point in our drinking but it also can be the easiest way to go. All we have to do is " surrender" to win when we ask a higher power to help us recover from our misery. I come from a Catholic school upbringing so I was burnt out on an organized version of a higher power but I always felt there was a power greater than me in this world that was responsible for getting me through many crazy times during my active research into addiction. "Something" had to be watching out over me at times during those years. There is no other explanation for my survival.

So AA's principle of a "higher power" never put me in too much of a wonder as to the concrete reality of it. I was told you have to surrender to another way of thinking to stay sober so I try to give my will over to my higher power on a daily basis. I am not always successful as much as I would like but some is better than none and one must be grateful for any other higher power that is not self destructive as my former higher power, alcohol and drugs. I guess what I am trying to say is to the nurse that I heard in a meeting once that we alcoholics think too much sometimes and I find this can be true, at least in my journy. I cannot question everything, somethings I have to take with a heavy dose of "Blind Faith". I have found out, much to my dismay, that I don't know everything and that I should listen to people with a track record such as AA. I have seen so much change for the good in my life and others since I have been sitting in these meeting rooms. I have found it to be a great relief not to have to go hrough life "knowing it all" and letting someone else do that work, my "higher power". Man I sure ran on and this is my first time. I apologize and will try to adhere to the tenets of brevity the next time,ha who am I kidding..

Member: Joe H.
Location: Arizona
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 13:58:19

Comments

Hi everybody I'm Joe and I'm an alcoholic. Great topic today, For me it gets down to the first three steps. 1) I'm a drunk 2) He's the boss 3) Reporting for duty, Sir. If I can keep it that simple it makes things a whole lot easier. It's real easy to turn things over, except when it's your turn. The trick for me is to try and not take it back. To Tamara: the word love is used a lot in AA and it's real and it's genuine. There's no greater love in this world than what one drunk feels for another. I was told early on that I didn't have to like everybody in the rooms but I damn sure better love them because that was me that I was looking at. Just in a different set of clothes. Finding a HP might be difficult at first but when ya decide you've had enough and want to start feeling better you have to have someone or something to throw the controls to. Wish everyone another 24 hours. thanks for 12th stepping me today.

Member: Tacey C.
Location: Arizona
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 14:02:28

Comments

Hi. My name is Tacey and I'm an alcoholic. For Tamara, the program of AA was designed for people who have hit a bottom with their drinking and the first step is that we admit to our innermost selves that we are alcoholic. This can only be done by the individual, in light of his/her situation. There is a book titled "Alcoholics Anonymous" which spends a great deal of time explaining the fellowship's definition of an alcoholic. I would suggest you get the book and read the first 4 chapters. If you find that you relate and that you believe you're an alcoholic, AA offers a program of recovery which we call the 12 steps. The fellowship is a group of men and women who gather to share their experience, strength, and hope with each other that we may solve our common problem (alcoholism) and help others to stay sober.

The program is also founded on a belief that we cannot quit drinking or stay sober without the help of a power greater than ourselves. The vast majority of members choose to call that power God. Why? Because that's what the original members did and it worked for them. It is compared to a chain. Each member, beginning with the first 2 alcoholics who got sober together, is a link on the chain. We have a common solution for our alcoholism and a major part of it is helping other alcoholics.

Being forced to go to AA is sometimes a deterrent to sobriety because you are not doing it for yourself. However, in my experience, I have seen many people come into AA through the courts or through work or through family pressures and after awhile they began staying for themselves. My only suggestion is that you keep an open-mind and try to relate and not compare. Also, read the book and ask yourself if you are an alcoholic. If you are, AA offers you an option. If you're not, you may learn some very important information about yourself through the meetings. Either way, you can surely make the meetings a positive venture for you. Good luck to you and let us know how you're doing.

As for "let go and let God", I agree that it is one of the hardest things I have to do. Anyone that tells me that letting go is easy--I cannot relate, at all. I just figure they're either lying or they've never really been forced to do it. I have. I have NEVER let go of anything that feels important to me in a graceful manner. That was and remains my goal--to learn how to look at life's problems/conditions, weigh the choices, pray for guidance, and if the intuitive thought or feeling is to let go, do it with grace and dignity. I'm not there, yet. However, if it's God's will for me to let go and let Him straighten out the situation, it keeps coming back to that and, sooner or later, I am forced to try. That has been my experience. If I am honesty asking God for the knowledge of His will for me and the power to carry it out, I believe His will is going to be done in my life. And, there have been many, many times when His will for me was and is to let go. In areas of romance, finance, children, jobs, friendships, family members, AA friends, people I sponsor, my sponsors...the list goes on and on... I have had to learn to let go.

And, as an advocate of the 12 steps, I can't close without saying that I believe that I can't truly know God's will for me in clarity and sanity until I have worked ALL of the steps. I may have a vague notion, but the clarity isn't there. Before I got through the steps the first time, the only thing that I knew was that God didn't want me to drink or use. Today I am able to look at many different situations and have an idea of what God wants me to do. Surprisingly enough, it is always very simple. Be kind, be loving, and be true to myself. Love you all. Why? Because you're drunks, just like me.

Member: Will_Le
Location: Missouri USA
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 15:15:09

Comments

I am an Alcoholic and my name is Will_Le.

Welcome to the new comers. There are some "Promises" in this program. You can find them in meetings and in this new way of life. They are listed on page 84 of the BigBook. Please keep coming back.

If I 'Let go', what will I have left for me? If I 'Let God', how can I be in control? If I Let go and Let God, how can I trust I won't fall? These were questions that ran through my spirtually sick mind in the beginning.

How did I let Go and Let God? First, I had to finally accept the 1st Step of Alcoholics Anonymous. (This is the only Step I can truly work. The rest I work at...)

Second, I came to A.A, then I came to believe in a Power Greater than myself, could restore me to sanity.

Third, I came to trust that this 'GOD' could help me not to drink/drug just for today. I had to quit playing God in my life and let this new found friend help and guide me. I had to Let go of my old misguided, warped ways of thinking that I I I I could control the disease of Alcoholism. Letting go is scary. But, it makes life so much simplier when I am not trying to run the World.

As has been shared with me: Go to meetings. Read the BigBook /NA Text. Go to meetings. Find a Sponsor. Go to meetings and you will find your God.

Thank You for being here. I pass. Will_Le, Missouri

Member: Julia L
Location: Scotland
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 15:16:16

Comments

This deal works 24 hours at a time. There is only so much I can deal with in 24 hours - the BIG problems have to wait while I decide what to wear, what to eat, which meeting to go to, and generally go about my daily business.

At long last I can leave the running of the world in the hands of the Creator - what a relief! So, it's not really so hard to let go and let God - it's his job not mine. Of course, as a consequence of giving up that responsibility I no longer feel the need to drink to deal with it. Amazing!

No-one can tell an alcoholic anything - don't you know that? So all I'll say is that I am self diagnosed based on the description of an alcoholic in the Doctor's Opinion - a doctor did once suggest that I had an abused liver and bloody minded arrogance and resentment stopped me drinking for a WHOLE DAY. But I'm an alcoholic and my reaction to pain, mental or physical was always to turn to my friend - the one who never let me down like people did - my secret solution to living was in the bottle.

Slowly, slowly I learned to look at me and see my part in my life - stop blaming other people, places and things for my state of mind and body and the solution now is no secret - it's living in the day, planning not projecting and a deep faith that the Higher Power who made me survive long enough to get to AA will never let me down. It may not always be a bed of roses, but it need never again be the deep dark despair of the drinking days.

Self honesty and a belief that the First 100 got it right - right enough to write a Book for me to find myself in and feel part of the Fellowship of the Spirit that binds AA. The solution to my problem is not in people, it never was - they along with booze could only provide temporary relief - the solution had to come from acceptance of the description of the alcoholic and, to paraphrase Chapter 3, "concede to my innermost self" and stop with the intellectual games and go with the gut feeling.

The solution can only come from within - using all 12 Steps as the basis of my life "in all our affairs" and trying to keep the spiritual dimension alive and well at all times.

Member: Twindalyn P.
Location: Dayton,Ohio
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 16:56:24

Comments

Hi'my name is Twindalyn P. and I am an alcoholic/addict. This is my first time being connceted to the cyber meeting ever. I also have problems of letting go and letting God.I am coming up on 8 mos. soberity. somedays it seems like a rollercoaster ride and somedays are real smooth ones. I too been hurt many of times mostly by men.and I would always find myself out there using again and blaming them for what they have done to me, and know I do understand why they say in the rooms of A.A.Let Go and Let God, see God has a purpose for us all we just have to be patient enough to hold on to that purpose that he has for us, that is also why they tell us don't leave before the miracle happens. Also it is not for us to understand why things happen the way they do it is Gods'job to understand for us.Tamara and Donald I would like to say just hang in there and God will do the rest for you. Thanks for letting me share. Love Twindalyn P. Plus Tamara you said that you don't understand why they say Love you in the rooms, well it is because,Those people been their and done that of what you've done so they show all of us much Love. And all of you have a very bless day.

Member: Twindalyn P.
Location: Dayton,Ohio
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 16:58:37

Comments

Member: Geri W
Location: Va
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 17:04:56

Comments

Geri, a very grateful alcoholic here. Hi folks.

Welcome Donald, Tamara and you other newcomers. Thanks for being here. We need you.

Tamara, I promise that if you so wish, you can keep your contract and your misery. Just continue to look for differences in people, don't listen at meetings, don't read the Big Book and especially don't look for a woman at the meeting who appears to have it all together. Don't listen when she shares - never approach her and ask her how she does it. After all, the Board sent you for punishment didn't they? Or did they have hope for you? Did they want you to succeed and thought that AA had some answers you could use? You see, some of us have succeeded in not drinking for lots of 24's. And we enjoy the fellowship at meetings. We have a Higher Power that we trust and YES, we love lots of folks. Honestly and openingly, love our fellow drunks. Why? Because they loved us when we were unlovable. So, if you are a real alcoholic, get down to business and follow the suggested program of AA. Your misery will be refunded if you choose to leave after your contract is over.

Let go, let God. In the beginning, everything I gave up had claw marks all over it. Now, I am so confident that Gods does a better job than me, it's easy to let Him be the Director and I do the foot work. The promises have come true for me. I no longer fear the known or unknown. He'll give me the answers, if I want to listen. If I forget(not perfect, by any means), He gives me a swift kick and I get grateful all over again.

Peace

Member: JCP ^/^
Location: Penn.
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 17:22:29

Comments

J here, a grateful alcoholic:

Grateful because I have not had a drink today. One thing I know is that I did not sober up myself. Mor many months I did not even seriously doubt that I would drink again -- I was only buying time, all I could get. I am grateful to A.A. and our Higher Power that I was wrong. Actually, I was wrong about so many things, why should getting sober be different?

But it still is true that much of what we say about how we get sober sailed way over my head. Trust God? You gotta be kidding! I am not saying it is untrue, but it seemed beyond me.

What I KNEW was that I was NOT going to make it. Not every one in my family had been an alcoholic but none who were ever got sober. No need to spell out this logic here. So to say, "Have faith," seemed a little like looking at a stalled car and saying, "Have gasoline."

I am not minimizing any of these qualities, but "One Day At A Time" means to me that I did not have to live a lifetime in one day -- just not take a first drink. As it turned out, the one measurement I could make for myself was TIME.

Forever is beyond me, but I did plug out individual days -- like forgo walking around downtown among all those inviting bars and sit in my car beside the river, is not a grievous way to pass an idle hour. Of course, I cannot turn around now and say of sobriety, "I did it!"

Go to meetings. AA is a fellowship, not a philosophy. People help me stay sober by staying sober themselves. Talk. Read. Get a home group (but I certainly would have trouble on only one meeting a week because I have tried it).

So let's first accept the gift being offered! Then we can talk about getting more. A lot more.

dixyflier@usa.net

Member: James Lupp
Location: Montrose, Colorado
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 17:38:41

Comments

Hello, my name is James, and I am an Alky. "Let Go, Let God" today means to me I had to quit playing God. It doesn't work. I had to resign as general manager of the Universe. It was necessary to surrender, and just stop fighting anybody or anything. By the time I got to AA, I was tired, so very tired. I just could not do it anymore. Nothing I could muster in my own resourses was working. In fact, it was getting worse. AA was really the last house on the left. I did everything I could to avoid AA. There simply was no other way for me. Some part of me knew I was beaten and down for the count. Those drunks hit me with the truth about what I was up against. I had this notion I had a drinking problem. They explained the 12 steps were indicating much more than I realized. So, of course, I didn't have answers, I didn't even know what the problem was. They demonstrated an unconditional love when I wasn't loveable and talked to me about recovery from the disease of alcoholism. That the problem was self and the solution was spiritual. That all I had to change was everything. That God's will for me was going to be my best direction. The steps would point me the way, that they would help. I do not have to wonder why I'm here, it's in the book. So this guy is walking a tightrope across the Niagara Falls with a wheel barrel, now I have faith he will make it across to the other side. Real trust is when I get in the wheel barrel and go with him. My heavenly Father will never let me down. In the Fellowship of the Spirit. love and light James L. anniel@ocinet.net

Member: Craig H.
Location: Winona, MN
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 18:57:37

Comments

My name is Craig and I'm an Alcoholic. To me Let go and let God means surrender. And that word means alot to me.

Member: louise b
Location: alaska
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 19:31:06

Comments

hello. i'm louise an alcoholic. i had severe problems with everyone and everything when i first came to a.a. i didn't care for god and i certainly believed god didn't care for me. i didn't believe anyone could. i ran in to a friend who had been sober and we had coffee. i told him of my dilemma and he pointed out the abc's. that we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives --that probably no human being could relieve us of our alcoholism and that god could and would if he were sought. he pointed out it was that god could and would if he were sought NOT that god and would if he were found. he then told me that the way i seek god is by working the steps. the spiritual awakening comes at the twelfth step. i just finished my fourth and am on my way to the fifth and on up. good luck

Member: Ella
Location: Florida
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 20:12:15

Comments

Hello everyone-I'm Ella and I'm an alcoholic.It feels good to say that. At one time I would never dream of saying that because it seemed like defeat. It's not though. It's a relief. For so long I lied to myself and told myself that I could control the drinking. I know now that I can't. Nope, never. If I try to take back the control I have lost control. That's what letting go means to me. When I let God lead me I don't have to do anything but believe. It's about being absolutely sure that He will lead me in the right direction that He loves me and he wants the absolute best for me. To feel that sense of security is truly wonderful. I wish that everyone could feel it. Letting God is scary at first, for many people, but after you do it just gets better and better. The funny thing is-what do we have to lose? If you don't get results then you can always stop.

I am grateful to know a Higher Power is in my life and protects me. It was very lonely in my life before. I feel safe now. No matter what happens I can face it.

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts. I feel the love.

Member: Jenni K
Location: Penn.
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 20:17:40

Comments

Hi I'm Jenni An acholic I'm having a problem with my isim's I want to blame my husband for treating me poorly. I think the mistake is mine for allowing it to happen in the first place. My father in law is dying of cancer my husband is never home, then when he is he is very short with me or down right rude, I kniw in my heart it's the fear he's facing but that's not a good reason to be blunt with me. Or am I just being a good drunk and feeling sorry for my self that I can't have my way?

Member: God
Location: Global
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 20:38:54

Comments

Call Your Sponsor!

Member: MLC
Location: Oregon
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 20:58:24

Comments

I am so used to being in charge that I do not even know when am not trusting God. Until of course I am full of anxiety or fears or both. I now think that my mind is my worst enemy. And being alone allows my mind to attack my spirit.I often feel beat up by my thoughts.I was hoping to have a discussion with this cyber thing. Is there a web site for a discussion?

Member: Twindalyn P.
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 20:59:38

Comments

Hello,my name is Twindalyn and I am a alcoholic/addict. well right now I feel real crazy, and it is not a good feeling at all,any way people today try to play me like I'm a little GUPPY and I know different vibes when they come, you see I have to learn to let people be people and let them be where they are, that's when I must learn how to put God ahead of my life for everything that comes against me, you see for myself I feel stupid,because people think that I am stupid but today I see how reality smack me dead in my face,plus people like to play me like I'm a nobody but deep down in my heart I am someone special,so i really need some feed back please help this alcoholic/addict thank you for letting me share my feelings. I need HELP! Twindalyn P.

Member: Jill L
Location: PS California
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 21:16:38

Comments

Hi everyone, I'm Jill an alcoholic. To Tamara, I too am in the health care field. When I got to AA I was unable to do my job. AA has taught me to do it better than I could have imagined. I had difficulty with the "love" part of the fellowship I am just over 5 years and have finally started to believe it when my sponsor or my close AA friends tell me that they love me. It feels wonderful! There are many ways to stop drinking. AA is not the only way. I have seen many people come in and out of the rooms who have tried other ways some were successful many were not. AA has been the only thing that has worked for me and today I am happy and free. Try to work with a sponsor and learn about trust and love at that level first. Give AA a good honest try for at least 90 days(90 meetings in 90 days was suggested to me) and as someone else wrote your misery will be refunded. I am glad to be a sober member of AA today and thank you for letting me share.

Member: Andrea M.
Location: Tennessee
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 22:01:16

Comments

Hi everyone. My name is Andrea and I am an alcoholic. Let go and let God is not a new concept to me even though I am an A.A. baby.(three weeks today! :)) and that is where I am ahving a hard time deciding if I belong in A.A.. My alcoholism was in the very infant stages when God revealed to me that I could not contol it. I was not drinking every day, usually I just drank on the weekends. I had never missed work because of it. I had never gone to jail or anything like that. In fact when I quit, most people did not believe that I was an alcoholic. (imagine how hard that made it for me not to slip back into denial) I knew however that I was developing a serious drinking problem and was just very good at hiding it. However, because of my background, I had already done steps 1-3 before i even set foot in an A.A. meeting. I did them at church. So, now I am sitting in these meetings feeling like I should not even be there because my alcoholism had not even scratched the surface of even the tamest of the other members' stories. In fact, my strength in anything has always come from God and I was having a hard time with all the people who were treating A.A. like their savior and the Big Book like their Bible. Maybe A.A. is not for me. I don't know. I would like to know if there is anyone out there who was able to quit before their alcoholism became destructive because if there isn't I am feeling like an oddball. Letting go and letting God was the easy part for me because I know from experience that he always makes better choices than I do. Thanks for listening.

Member: Elaine Johnson
Location:
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 22:05:56

Comments

Hello I'm Elaine, Twyn I just want to say keep your head up and don't let anyone pull you down

Member: Elaine J.
Location:
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 22:22:17

Comments

Hello Again Everyone,

My name is Elaine Johsnon. I have been sober for over nine years now. Even though it's been a while I am still struggling day to day to maintain my sanity and hold on to what little pride I have left. It's not easy trying to live your without any chemical or alcohol substance when youn have been an attic over half of your life. I am 33 years old now and still trying to get a hold on my life and figure what it is God wants me to do with it. I can say that my faith and commitment to the lord is what keeps my head above the water. He has never forsaken me and I am truly thankful.

Member: Donna M.
Location: Albuq. NM
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 23:03:20

Comments

HI, I'm Donna and a grateful alcoholic. Andrea, I spent two years in sobriety thinking I didn't belong because I couldn't relate to the experiences of the other people. However, I learned to identify with the feelings. I got into AA before I crashed physically, and getting sober didn't feel wonderful because I still had to deal with life. Give the meetings some time, don't make a decision today. Tamara, love in the program means that we don't want you to get drunk, or ever have to live in fear again. It took me five years in the program to believe people when they said they loved me. Up until then, I just thought I was tolerated. If God bothers you, try Good Orderly Direction. That is what I have in my life today. Let go and Let God. Right now, I don't have any choice. I have had a broken leg for over a year and am no recovering from reconstructive surgery. I get frustrated, but know as I have learned these last 16 years, that my higher power helps me deal with whatever life deals out. I have had to Let go and Let God with my own addiction, my children, my job, etc. Everytime I see myself like a terrier with a rat in its mouth refusing to let go, I know it is time to surrender once again. Life is beautiful today, and I have peace of soul. I never had that before. It is due to God and AA and all of you.

Member: Joe Y.
Location: Ct.
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 23:20:01

Comments

Hello everyone. Joe again, a cross addict. I received this message in my E-mail. I think it's about time I shared it with you. It sums up why I admit to myself that I need help.

Hello old friend. I've come back to visit again. I live to see you suffer mentally, physically, spiritually and socially. I want to make you restless so you can never relax. I want you to be jumpy and nervous and anxious. I want to make you agitated and irritable so everything and everybody makes you uncomfortable. I want you to be confused and depressed so that you can't think clearly or positively. I want to make you hate everything and everybody, especially yourself. I want you to feel guilty and remorseful for the things you've done in the past that you'll never be able to let go of. I want to make you angry and hateful toward the world for the way it is and the way you are. I want you to feel sorry for yourself and blame everything but your alcoholism for the way things are. I want you to be deceitful and untrustworthy and to manipulate and con as many people as possible. I want to make you fearful and paranoid for no reason at all. I want you to wake up during all hours of the night and scream for me. You know you can't sleep without me. I am even in your dreams. I want to be the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning and the last thing you touch before you black out or pass out. I would rather kill you, but I'll be happy enough to put you back in the hospital, another institution, or jail. But you know I'll still be waiting for you when you get out. I love to watch you slowly go insane. I love to see the physical damage that I'm causing you. I can't help but sneer and chuckle when you shiver and shake, when you freeze and sweat at the same time and when you wake with your sheets and blankets soaking wet. It's amusing to watch you make love to the toilet bowl, heaving and retching and not able to hold me down. It's amazing how much destruction I can do to your internal organs while at the same time work on your brain, destroying it bit by bit. I deeply appreciate how much you sacrifice for me. The countless good jobs you've sacrificed for me. All the fine friends that you deeply cared for, you gave up for me. And what's more, the ones you turned against yourself because of your inexcusable actions, I'm even more grateful. And especially, your loved ones, your family, the most important people in the world to you, you even throw away for me. I cannot express in words the gratitude I have for the loyalty and respect you have for me. You sacrificed all these beautiful things in life just to devote yourself completely to me. But do not despair, my friend, for on me you may always depend! For after you have lost all these things, you can still depend on me to take even more. You can depend on me to keep you in a living hell, to keep your mind, body, and soul, for I will not be satisfied until you are dead, my friend.

MY NAME IS ALCOHOL

Member: Michael P
Location: Cleveland
Date: 25 Jul 1999
Time: 23:52:10

Comments

Hello, my name is Mike and I am an alcoholic. Andrea, I can relate to how you are feeling right now. I finished with two degrees in college while I was qualifying. I kept telling myself that I was not an alcoholic when listening at meetings. Then one meeting, a person got up and said that I should never compare the way that I drank with any other individual because I would just compare myself right back out. I was told to look for the feelings and emotions that went along with the drinking. When I started to do this, things started to become clearer. I have a long way to go on my journey, but now I am looking forward to it. It is not easy, but the rewards that you get when you wake up every morning and you have the opportunity to thank GOD, are just great. I am so glad that I was sent to AA by the courts. I would not have stayed if it were up to this alcoholic. With that, I pass.

mpritchard@euclid-hitachi.com

Member: jack
Location: M
Date: 26 Jul 1999
Time: 00:14:50

Comments

Member: Jack
Location:
Date: 26 Jul 1999
Time: 00:24:37

Comments

I'm Jack and I'm an alcoholic. Letting go, when it happens, is a blessing. It feels good, although it doesn't seem like it would, since it amounts to giving up the power that you THOUGHT you had over your life. But it makes living feel so light and easy. If you can't let go, keep on holding on until you CAN let go. It's probably just a matter of time.

Member: Vick E.
Location: Alamogordo,N.M.
Date: 26 Jul 1999
Time: 01:14:27

Comments

Hi,I am an alcoholic and my name is Vick.This is my first time on the net but I want to share my story with others in hope that they may benefit by my mistakes. While I was drinking I thought that I was the alpha and the omega. shortly after coming into the rooms of aa I realized that I needed to get out of the God business, because that was one of my defects. That I thought I was in charge. After only a short time in aa I realized that I am important in God`s scheme of things, but am not as all powerful as I thought. This surrender of self is what makes my program work today. Thinking more of others and less of self. God Bless. If I had one wish tonight it would be that no one had to ever sober up again. Pass.

Member: Sue J
Location: s calif
Date: 26 Jul 1999
Time: 01:38:30

Comments

Hi I'm sue and I'm an alcoholic when I started trying to let go and let god this was the scarryest part this was why I didn't belive in God in the first place. I felt he would not be there. Not for me anyways. I grew up in a family full of abuse I prayed to God to stop the abuse and it didn't happen. I didn't have much trust after that. Last year a friend pointed out that although God did not stop the abuse I lived threw it and am mostly functional. My prayers were answered I just had not realized it. Many things depend on your preception. Now when I precieve letting God handle things I picture a little two year old headstrong and full of their own power( that's us) balencing on the edge of trouble determined to do this with out help. God is the benevolent adult(this was missing from my childhood so I think of how I feel toward my children) standing patiently, maybe even holding his breath hoping we won't do to much damage to ourselves and our lives, awaiting our surrender to allow his hand in to steady us. When trying to hand something over to God that I can't seem to let go of I use a simple box I write a note God about my problems. I seem to do better with this physical solution. Let go quit using up all of your energy and you will find many blessings thank you for letting me share.

Member: DOYNE S
Location: VIRGINIA
Date: 26 Jul 1999
Time: 07:29:14

Comments

I'm Doyne, I am an alcoholic. I fought the higher power issue for the first eighteen of not drinking. I argued with every point of view I heard in meetings. If you are coming to a meeting looking for advice from a bunch of ex drunks, beware. I got pissed off at the people and the meetings. Then, I picked up the first drink. Lost my Job, my family, my dog was killed, had a heart attack. For two years I lived the insanity. One morning, I tried to drink and could not keep it down I cried out "GOD please help me because I wanted to drink more. I have not had to have a drink since that day. I realized GOD did for me what I could not do for myself. The power of Alcoholics Anonymous is a simple program for complicated people and will make my life better. I have followed three simple suggestions: Don't drink, go to meetings, and say a little prayer if you believe in anything bigger then yourself. I have not had a drink for two and a half years and I am one drink from a drunk.

Member: GABRIELLE P.
Location: MANSFIELD, TX
Date: 26 Jul 1999
Time: 09:43:47

Comments

HI! GABRIELLE A GRATEFUL RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC. TO TAMARA, SOMETIMES IT IS A GOOD IDEA TO NOT QUESTION WHY BUT TO JUST ACCEPT. ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS EARLY IN SOBRIETY FOR ME WAS TO ACCEPT REAL LOVE FROM SOMEONE WHOM I THOUGHT DIDN'T KNOW ME. THEN IT WAS EXPLAINED TO ME AND THEN I FELT THAT LOVE FOR OTHERS AS TIME WENT ON. I NEEDED THE FEELING OF BEING WANTED, AND NEEDED SO BAD. I FELT THE "HOLE" INSIDE AND I TRIED FOR SO LONG TO FILL IT WITH PILLS AND BOOZE THAT I HAD FORGOTTEN WHAT IT FELT LIKE TO BE LOVED FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN BEING THERE, BEING UNDERSTOOD ACCEPTED THE WAY I WAS AND NOT THE WAY SOMEONE ELSE THOUGHT I SHOULD. I DIDN'T HAVE TO PRETEND ANYMORE THE FEELING WAS GENUINE AND UNBELIEVABLE! IT'S NOT THE WORDS, IT IS THE FEELINGS THAT CONNECT US, THE KNOWING THAT SOMEONE ELSE UNDERSTANDS AND HAS BEEN WHERE I AM, BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT POINT IN SOBRIETY THAT I AM AT SOMEONE ELSE HAS GONE BEFORE ME, THAT IS WHY IT WORKS. AS LONG AS I DON'T LET MY "PITY" COMMITTEE TAKE CHARGE, IT HELPS ME TO LET GO AND LET GOD!! I HAVE TO REMIND MYSELF EVERYDAY THAT I AM NOT WELL, NOT CURED AND IT CAN TAKE OVER AT ANY TIME. IT BEING MY ALCOHOLISM. I AM GRATEFUL TODAY THAT IT HAS BECOME EASIER FOR ME TO REACH OUT TO OTHERS AND FOR THE GIFT OF BEING ABLE TO LOVE MYSELF. GOD DOESN'T ALWAYS TAKE CONTROL, SOMETIMES HE MAKES ME SURRENDER, TO REMIND ME I AM NOT IN CONTROL OF ANYTHING AND WHEN I AM I MESS MY LIFE UP BAD. TAKE CARE ADN LET OTHERS LOVE YOU UNTIL YOU CAN LOVE YOURSELF, GO TO MEETINGS, HUG AN ALCOHOLIC ADN TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE THERE. YOU WILL DO YOURSELF ADN THEM A GREAT SERVICE. IN SOBRIETY, IN A.A, IN LIFE!

Member: Gracie
Location: Texas
Date: 26 Jul 1999
Time: 10:35:06

Comments

WELCOME TO ALL NEWCOMERS: I'm Gracie, an alcoholic. Great topic! I have to first ask myself what I'm letting go of and what will I get in return. You see, I don't believe most of us do anything with out a pay off. Even the things I do that seem altruistic are done for the good feeling I get from doing them.

The things I'm letting go of are: 1) destroying relationships 2) losing jobs because of drinking 3) neglecting my responsibilities 4) throwing up on my shoes 5) getting arrested 6) wanting to die 7) constant loneliness 8) being spiritually dead 9) destroying my health ect., ect., ect., you get the point.

Some of the things I get from letting go and letting God: 1) a good and decent life 2) the respect of my family 3) a spiritual awakening 4) the ability to do a good job at work 5) lifetime friends that are real not just drinking buddies 6) being a good parent 7) paying my bills on time 8) a zest for life 9) a Higher Power that I don't understand but who understands me ect., ect., ect., you get the point.

If you are new to this give it your best shot. The rewards are unimaginable to you right now as they were to me. I mean how could this program give me everything it said it could? Well it can't without my cooperation. The answer to the question, how does it work is, REAL GOOD!!!!!!! My e-mail address is gracie@eastland.net. I will try to answer all mail.

Member: Bill K.
Location: Albany, New York
Date: 26 Jul 1999
Time: 11:01:40

Comments

Hi everyone, my name is Bill and I'm an alcoholic and an addict. I'm just returning to the fellowship. This is my fisrt cyber-post.

Ironically, the "letting go" piece was the topic at my morning meeting today. I have come to realize that not fully working the 2nd and 3rd steps was what put me back out on the street, and as anyone who has relapsed knows it just got uglier and uglier.

I truly believe that a higher power brought me back into the rooms, because there was NO WAY I was going to swallow my pride and ask for help. After all, I grew up not wanting anyone's help. It was one of those strange, contradictory forces - my huge ego on one end, my low self-esteem on the other.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that letting go for me meant ASKING FOR HELP, taking someone aside and saying "Hey, I'm messed up, here's what's going on.." I guess I had trouble believing that anyone really, REALLY gave a @#@*!! whether I got sober or not, but you know what? The first person I asked on that sick, miserable and souless morning took me aside and said, "I will help you. I will love you untill you can love youself. Here's my number, call me every night and tell me that you didn't have to drink today."

That's where I see God, at work in the generosity and caring of the people in this program. I look forward to getting to know you all. Thank you for "listening."

Member: Aldo B
Location: Bogota
Date: 26 Jul 1999
Time: 12:20:12

Comments

Hi Aldo here alcoholic, The fact that AA is here is to me a GOD gift, yes I belive that adicts in the process of sobreity are GOD prefered creatures, HE is so kind and loving that has allowedme to be with you, and I feel there is love in the fellowship, I have had the oportunity to visit a meeting in another city I found the same understanding and belonging as in my home group, It is my experience that no other assemble of human beings have been so generous as AA has been to me. Thanks for the box tip Sue J, and to every body Thanks for beeing here

Member: Ellen G
Location: Washington NJ
Date: 26 Jul 1999
Time: 12:40:50

Comments

Hi everyone! Ellen alcoholic. Andrea...I heard in a meeting the following: "If you think you are an alocholic, you are an alcoholic. If you think you are not an alocoholic, you probably are because only alcoholics think about it!" I had to laugh when I heard that because I too was pondering this. If your doctor said to you he found a spot of cancer on your lungs would you wait until you were riddled with cancer or would you seek treatment right away? So, you may have a "spot of alcoholism" on your soul. What are you waiting for? I am so grateful that I can now see the destructive pattern of my drinking and my total lack of faith. Today, through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous I am "happy, joyous and free"...most of the time!

Wishing you another sober 24!

Member: Chris H.
Location: Colorado
Date: 26 Jul 1999
Time: 15:26:12

Comments

Hi I'm Chris and I'm an alcoholic.

Let go and let God, is a great topic Chuck.

Tamara, you asked, "where do I find this higher power?"

I can only share my story. When I got to AA, my answers were not working. I got me drunk. I saw people around me in AA that were sober, and I knew from their stories they were like me. They had an answer I wanted. Fortunately I had a bright and patient sponsor when I got here. I was climbing with him one day and I fell off a cliff following him on a long climb. I was swinging with 200ft of air below my feet, and he looked down and said, "Chris look, your rope is your higher power." I looked up at that skinny strand holding my life with the smiling face on the other end, and then I looked down below my feet at the ground way below. At that moment, the concept of a higher power was simple to grasp, a piece of string held my life, I went through a brief moment of total terror, but I got through it with a new understanding, and kept moving. You will find a concept of a higher power that works for you too, if you have the desire to be sober. That concept of a higher power worked for me then, and now I have a new understanding.

My HP keeps me sober.

Tamara, you said, "How can they love when they don't even know me. How can I trust another addict. I cant even trust my parents and I'm suppose to trust another alcoholic who is an expert on conning the world. Love is used too lightly in mtgs."

Unconditional love, means NO conditions, including knowing who you are, or what you've done. If you are an alcoholic and have the desire to be sober, than we are alike. Does that mean I trust every alcoholic I meet? Not hardly. We are in AA because we are sick, but my experience is that some of the meanest, gnarliest, roughest, hardest people I have ever met in AA have also, at times, given me the power of God's word and kept me sober. We people in AA are not higher powers, we're messengers who share our experience, strength, and hope, so that we may stay sober ourselves.

Albuquerque John, I appreciate what you said, "In order to do that we join the group. In that group of people we find some who have recovered from the hopeless state of mind and body. They, like me, spend a lot of time showing other alcoholics how we recovered. See I don't have a secret - if I did I would still be selfish!"

Yes, somehow through contact with other sick alcoholics, I have come to understand a power greater than me that can restore me to sanity. Weird but true.

Tamara, for me, going to face to face meetings is very important. I went to my favorite meeting this Saturday and got to listened to my story from a guy I had never met before. He was in great agony dealing with a few things that are in my face as well, but by listening to what he had to say, and by sharing my story with him, somehow we both walked away feeling better. For me, this is the miracle of the program that works in my life. He told me about some other good meetings, so I will check them out. I was told early in sobriety to go to 90 meetings in 90 days. I did this and was glad I did. There were times I went to meetings and ran into sick people and sick situations. I called my sponsor, and he said, "hum, too bad, go to another meeting." Great, well, I'd go to another meeting and be so grateful for his advice, because I got exactly what I needed.

God, you said, "Call Your Sponsor!" Thanks for the advice. Whether you are God or an alcoholic with a fantastic ego, it doesn't matter, I appreciate your advice just the same.

Twindalyn P., we hear your call for help. Try to get to a meeting. Remember what Elaine said, "Twyn I just want to say keep your head up and don't let anyone pull you down."

((God bless all))

Member: Formally God
Location: But not today
Date: 26 Jul 1999
Time: 15:45:15

Comments

All egos are fantastic! Ha Ha Ha Ha Actually, G.O.D. is Grateful Opinionated Drunk (James L.) and E.G.O. was Edging God Out. Even if I got a message from God, I'd have to call my sponsor. Still a sick puppy after all these years. Chris H. Thank You for your story. James L.

Member: Steve G.
Location: San Francisco
Date: 26 Jul 1999
Time: 16:37:38

Comments

This is my first cyber meeting. i have been traveling and wanted to connect.

Member: Donna S.
Location: Four Corners
Date: 26 Jul 1999
Time: 17:02:05

Comments

Let go and let God. Sort of ongoing process for me... I notice that I am struggling, and suffering, and that's usually a ROADSIGN that I need to let go. Letting go is usually acceptance of what is happening, and asking my HP for guidance. Then the waiting for guidance starts. Anyway I can do this very well sometimes, and toher times its like walking through peanut butter. Anyway, thanks for being here when I needed a meeting...

Member: Joanna
Location: Portland
Date: 26 Jul 1999
Time: 17:13:04

Comments

Joanna-Member of A.A. What a great topic! Letting go of anything has always been dificult for me. As I have heard before "I have never let go of anything that didn't have claw marks." I think that the process of letting go requires a certin amount of understanding that no matter what happens, what happens will be for the best. I have been in situations that I would like to go a certin way and as much as I try to force the situation it has never gone "my way", and when it does go my way I am usually not happy any way. In my few years around A.A. I have come to believe in a power greater than myself and its my job on a daily basis to release my wants, desires, and wishes to this H.P. and have enough blind faith that what is supposed to happen will. Letting go is hard and I guess to a small degree it has gotten easier, yet the child/alcoholic in me still throws her tantrums about getting her way, oh well, I am sober, I do practice blind faith, and today I practice being the best person I can be. I am fully aware of most of my grosser defects and I do my best not to practice them. I have been stompping my feet lately wondering why I can not have the man of my dreams, so this topic has really shined a light on my childish wants and come to a realization that my HP has other plans for me. Thanks to everyone who has chatted here today I needed to "hear" this. So with that I must go back to work, take it easy! Joanna

Member: Cindy D.
Location: Chicago
Date: 26 Jul 1999
Time: 18:27:19

Comments

MY name is Cindy and I am an alcoholic, I'm grateful to God and u 4 keeping me sober tdy, bcause I can't do it alone...Tamara...Give yourself a chance and give this program a chance, bring the body and the mind will follow. U speak of the emotion "love", a friend of mine who has gone on to the great AA meeting in the sky had an acronym for the word love..."life's only valuable experience". Mayb u can't feel it yet, but please Tamara, give it a chance, it will get better. No one in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous has ever lied 2 me yet. Together in spirit, Cindy

Member: Estelle W.
Location: Texas
Date: 26 Jul 1999
Time: 18:28:36

Comments

Hi my name is Estelle and I am an alcoholic. Never thought I'd be grateful for those words, but today I am. Sober since 11/21/94, and new to this site, so for today I just wanted to introduce myself and say how grateful I am for the life God has given me by way of AA, and to encourage any newcomers or discouraged what evers to keep coming back.....

Member: Lori D.
Location: New Hampshire
Date: 26 Jul 1999
Time: 18:53:48

Comments

Hi, everyone, My name is Lori and I am an alcoholic. Let go and let God is just what I needed to hear today.I haven't been to a meeting in too long and I am grateful that you are all here for me. I like what Joe H. from Arizona had to say about loving em all because they are you. When I first came here, I compared and criticized. I did not want to be like "you". No matter what I said or did the people in the halls of AA were patient with me. They cared about me when I donot care about myself. I had issues of power and control. I did not want to believe in God, because if I did I knew I would have to live my life differently. I had visions of having to be a nun just to stay sober. I am happy to say that I am not a nun and I have been sober since 1985. I found a higher power through the good works of the people in this program. I could not help myself, but the care and love from the AA fellowship could. God works through people. Tamara it just might be that you won't have to find a higher power, He may have found you. You are here, even if not of your own choosing, perhaps some of it will rub off on you. Please remember that we are going to care for you when you don't. If you think that relating to people is too difficult think what your life has been like up to now keeping it all to yourself. Trust me , I have been there too, Inside my head, behind enemy line. Trusting other people does not mean you have to trust us all with everything, trust only that we are sober and stick around to find out how we did and how we continue to do it on a daily basis. I can always tell when I am trying to be in control because everything goes wrong and I have to struggle to get through a day. When I turn it over to my higher power, I sail along and enjoy the trip. I will never be a big God freak, but I've got what I need for a higher power and it works for me. Jenni K,Keep coming to meetings your life may not get better, but you will be better able to deal with what life hands out to you.

Member: George J.
Location: Mountains of Montana
Date: 26 Jul 1999
Time: 19:11:17

Comments

I'm George and I'm a grateful Alcoholic. My old ideas and distorted beliefs came close to killing me cause I refused to release the childhood teachings. I wanted to die and check out rather than face what I thought and believed. It wasn't that I thought things were working but I was blinded by Stuffed ego and False pride. Thanks to the 12 steps of AA and the caring and sharing of fellow Alcoholics, I have a different outlook and attitude today. I went in and out of AA before I lost my will to live. The higher power helped me when I could no longer help myself.

Before I could let go and let god I had to struggle with many issues and believe that these things were true: 1. My HP was really interested in my problems and my recovery. If not then why try and pray? 2.My HP would remove my complusion to drink or else I would continue to drink. 3. My HP had to be bigger than my problems. 4. My HP had a plan and it was the best plan. My plans etc..had totally run out of gas and I was screwed. 5. I must establish a relationship with my HP. They told me to pray and surrender whatever I could to as much as I understood about my HP which were the promises in the above items. 6. I did it every day in normal conversation and admitted all. I prayed that I'd do anything and please help me cause I didn't know what to do. Please don't let me think suicide like a coward. Marine Corps instilled that thought deep in my subconscious. Thanks Corps and thank God I got the help. Today I would not be here if it had not worked. I did a lot of things but the direction and guidance has come. I will never be a saint or maybe not find a church but I pray if that is part of his will that I will. My life today is not and never will be perfect. But thank God it is not what it was.

God's will after letting go for me is not taking it back. I find helping others through the key ideas in the book keep me Green and Growing so I don't get Ripe and Rotten in complacency. F2f meetings, sharing in and after meetings, tolerance, patience but firm in my message. My experience, strength, and hope should give hope to those who still suffer. I made all the mistakes before in AA and today I try to avoid what did not work and walk in the direction of what does. Thanks for listening and Let Go - Let God.

Member: Stephen
Location:
Date: 26 Jul 1999
Time: 19:51:55

Comments

hello how do you know if your an alcholic

Member: Stephen
Location:
Date: 26 Jul 1999
Time: 19:54:33

Comments

hello how do you know if your an alcholic

Member: video
Location: Pa.
Date: 26 Jul 1999
Time: 20:03:33

Comments

Hi, you can call me vid,I'm an alcoholic, but I'm not gratefull yet. What a topic! Tamarra, I'm in the exact same boat.I've been attending internet meetings for the past month and have Thirty days!{Thank you, God} I have yet to attend a f2f. I know this is important in my recovery, but it means I would need to let go... of my preconceived ideas of an alcoholic, of the misconceived differences that support my denial and most of all my pride. Tamarra, you have been able to do this.I know the steps and as a nurse, I have helped a number of individuals with their journey and now it is time to start my own. All these "things" I hold onto reiforce my denial and place me at risk. I need to "let go and let God". I want to thank all those in this cyberroom for sharing, I can see myself clearer with each contact. Tamarra, you can contact me at DBenis5960@aol if I can help. thank you

Member: video
Location: Pa.
Date: 26 Jul 1999
Time: 20:03:56

Comments

Member: Betty S.
Location: L.I., NY
Date: 26 Jul 1999
Time: 20:27:59

Comments

The only thing I have power over is participation in my life -- not that of others (incl. sig. other), not the weather, not the news, certainly not alcohol. To "let go and let God" has become the most enriching practice this program has brought to me. The willingness to see things differently only comes when I give up my pre-conceived notions and ask for help. Blessings...

Member: Bonnie Z.
Location: PA
Date: 26 Jul 1999
Time: 22:00:21

Comments

Hi, my name is Bonnie and I'm an alcoholic. Thanks, Joe, for reminding me this is here(you know who you are(EDI))-there are so many places to go with this puter. Anyway, Letting Go-everything I ever let go of had claw marks all over it. Or I would let it go, but take it right back again. I feel truly free when I let my Creator handle things, he's the only one who is capable of it. One of my personal experiences with letting go and letting God was when I didn't have contact with a particular loved one. I did not know where he was, what he was doing, and was very worried. I decided that I would use one of my "tools" in the program-"Let God and Let God". I said to God, "Here, it's in your hands." Guess what-the very next day I got a letter from my loved one, and my mind was eased. It would never have happened if I didn't let go and let God. And these things have happened over and over. "I can't, He can, I think I'll let him." If anyone wants a copy of "Letting Go"(a friend in the program gave it to me)and what it means, feel free to e-mail me: jtbsfriend@aol.com ----love ya all

Member: Drew F
Location: Boston
Date: 26 Jul 1999
Time: 22:45:48

Comments

Drew here, Alcoholic. To let go and let God. I'm having a hard time at the moment. Iv'e been sober three years now, I do thank my higher power for this. My partner is getting layed off next month and has been trying to find a job. We might be moving to a new state and it's been two months of wondering where we are going to end up. What will we be doing when we get there. I tell myself it's in God hands and I let go, then a week goes by and it starts all over again.The great thing is, I get myself back up and try again.Love to all.

Member: Joyce Anne C.
Location: Portland, OR
Date: 26 Jul 1999
Time: 22:54:32

Comments

Hello, Joyce Anne, Powerless over Alcohol, Great topic, something that seems to be a life long lesson. I have had to "let go" of many things in my years sober, the hardest being my children. I once believed they were "my" children until I came to believe that we are all precious children of a loving Creator. As usual, the pain had to out weigh the pleasure before I would finally admitt that in order to establish an open and honest relationship with anyone in my life, I had to be willing to let go of some old beliefs. When I came to the point of complete awareness of just how powerless I am, I began to see how to let go and let God. I am so grateful to what I have found through the program of AA and my Creator, my life has become a true adventure.

Member: Stacey
Location: South Dakota
Date: 27 Jul 1999
Time: 01:06:00

Comments

I can relate to Andrea M. in the fact that I, too, could not relate well when I first entered AA. I was 14 years old "with an attitude". I had only been drinking for 2 1/2 years, but was already questioning if I was an alcoholic. For me, my bottom was an emotional one, not physical. I was too ashamed some days to look in the mirror to do my makeup. I did things that went against my personal values to continue my habit. By the time I went to Treatment the first time, I hated everyone around me; the men tried to take advantage of me, the women stabbed me in the back, and the adults just nagged/critized when I tried to reach out. I could see myself in the big book and wanted to not drink, but I kept "comparing". Everyone had "one foot in the grave" and they all did stupid stuff (I only spend every weekend drinking myself into oblivion, and the entire week planning it out). Once, as many others have commented, I started connecting with feelings and including dealing with my shame with the help of TRUSTED people in AA (secrets WILL keep you sick), I started to recover. I really do need to hear from newcomers. It helps me to remember what it was like and why I do not want to go back there. I have really strugled with a sense of "comfort" or seperateness since my 5 year birthday (3 years ago). It has helped that my job has moved from CD treatment to prevention activities. I don't have to feel like I always have to "have it together". Quality not quantity. "Let go and let God" is something I am convinced I will always struggle with, but it does keep me coming back! In fact, I was talking about it with my sponsor today. I am a single parent, a soon-to-be graduate student, and will continue to work full time. I have effectively put these ahead of myself and my own needs (AA, a social network). I am so driven to succeed and give my child a better life, I am shortchanging myself with the delusion that "I will deal regain my emotional needs 4 years from now when I graduate). My defects have never waited for me before. I believe in the "program of AA", not in people specifically. There are a lot of sick people who may never get better, even when they stay in AA for YEARS. Others, get well for awhile, and quit seeking out sponsorship or working the steps, and go back to their old ways. I have been hurt by more people in the program than outside of it; however, i have also found friends who can understand me when I talk about shame and the overwhelming fear that comes back when I quit taking care of myself ie... Too angry, lonely, hungry and tired. Thanks for letting me share.

Member: Ron N.
Location: Gualala, CA
Date: 27 Jul 1999
Time: 01:33:19

Comments

Hi Everyone! My name is Ron and I am an alcoholic. This is also my first share with this group. I am not sure of the physical format so I hope this transmits OK. I am a bit over 3 1/2 yrs. clean and sober. To let go and let god is not always easy at first, but is really the easy way in the long run. When I did the third step I was as "willing as the dying can be". Funny how after a while of sobriety I find it difficult to remember that I did make that 3rd step decision. My higher power is loving and kind and wants the best for me. He does not threaten me with punishments for "evil" and all the other manipulative bull I hear from many religious groups. I can let go and let that god take care of my life and will. My part is to ask in the morning for guidance, listen for any answer (or let one in even if I don't hear it right away), then go out into the day willing to do his will. I am grateful for the things that go well and find the challenging things even entertaining at times. I know I am no saint!! Just ask my wife or friends :-}

I am grateful for these meetings here on line, since I too am in a small town. I have heard some people talk so many times that I can recite some of the local's shares word for word. I have read some great and inspiring things already from this group. Thank you all for being here and being sober.

For those newcomers, I too welcome you to the real world and the world most of us alcoholics have ignored, feared or been angry at for so very long. I can tell you honestly that I have been higher and had more awsome experiences sober than I ever did drinking or using. I just had to be willing. Good luck to you. Feel free to contact me personally if you like. My em is hansk@mcn.org

Ron N

Member: Gracie
Location: Texas
Date: 27 Jul 1999
Time: 01:36:27

Comments

Gracie here, an alcoholic. HI ESTELLE!!!!!! I'm glad you found your way here. Welcome to all newcomers. These on-line meetings are great but they are not a substitute for face 2 face meetings. I love my computer but it doesn't hug very good! One of the first things I had to do was show up for help. I had to let go of the old ideas I had about alcoholism. I found out that I wasn't a bad person, just a sick person. I hope you all enjoy your sobriety!!!!

Member: brian t
Location: Orcutt cali.
Date: 27 Jul 1999
Time: 02:27:17

Comments

Hi Im brian im an alcoholic,

Member: brian t
Location: Orcutt cali.
Date: 27 Jul 1999
Time: 02:27:42

Comments

Hi Im brian im an alcoholic,

Member: Curt S
Location: Iowa
Date: 27 Jul 1999
Time: 03:52:40

Comments

good topic, let go and let God i believe is short form of step 3 sometthing i need to do on a daily basis. by making a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as i understand Him allows God to use the everyday things of life to teach me about Him.So that my ideas of trusting and loving will be real not just something that someone says i should be doing. if i let go and let god he will teach me who to trust and who not to trust usually a very hard lesson but alway a good one

Member: mckinley
Location: usa north carolina
Date: 27 Jul 1999
Time: 04:25:44

Comments

hi im robert and im an alcoholic, this is my first posting to an online group, but from reading down the page it felt like home. i've been sober for 2yrs and 5 months, it was like a warm shock when i saw the topic, and to that one question, "hows hanging around people in mettings gonna help me stay sober?" when i asked that question i was met with warm smiling faces that softly told me to keep comming back. now i know the simple answer, it wasnt a question, it was the answer. i am grateful for for all the ones that helped me, as i try to give back what was gave to me, if your asking how will being here help me stay sober, then i offer a warm smile, a cup of coffee, and keep comming back, i didnt let go and let god all at once, i fought it all the way, to me even now its a two way deal i need aa and a hp, with one im sober and with the other im happy. all i can say is, i didnt drink yesterday, and i ask my higher power for help so "maybe" i wont drink today. after all it worked yesterday, and for that i am gratful too.

Member: Ron L.
Location: Winnipeg Canada
Date: 27 Jul 1999
Time: 07:55:10

Comments

To Curt S. Gee Curt Ive been around for some time and never run across the short form of step three. I know that there is a short form of the traditions and a long form, but if you have a short form then it must be the same book where you found that God will let you know who to trust and who not to trust.If God has a list of his kids and on that list are the names of who can be trusted and who can't. Do you think that " I " who would be found on the list of those who can't be trusted could get a copy???

Member: Rondaw
Location: wv
Date: 27 Jul 1999
Time: 09:43:55

Comments

Hi my name is Ronda and I am an alcholic and friend to all:)

Member: Gracie
Location: Texas
Date: 27 Jul 1999
Time: 10:44:48

Comments

Gracie here, an alcoholic. Gee Ron, kinda sharp edged today. People have a right to express themselves in an AA meeting without being attacked. If I am wrong, if you are wrong, if Curt is wrong (I don't think he is) about some little point of the program we all have the right to be wrong. Sorry to sound preachy but I've had people talk to me that way in meetings and it hurt my feelings. I've been sober for a few years now and I've run into a lot of different people. I try really hard to treat them all with kindness. Confrontation without love is attack. OK, enough of that. I'm going to let go now and let God be God. Bye all.

Member: Stephanie L.
Location: London, Canada
Date: 27 Jul 1999
Time: 10:52:08

Comments

Hi everyone and I am an alcoholic. To Stacey from South Dakota.

I came into the program when I was 18 years old. Before that I had been a member of Alateen. I myself was only drinking for a couple of years before I came in. I am 21 years old now and will be celebrating 3 years in September. I am a single parent tring to get my grade 12 and working full time as well.

I really related to everything you were saying. I constantly compared myself to others. I always said to myself I'm to young to be an alcoholic. I didn't drink enough, I didn't go to jail or an institution. I kept comint to the meetings and one day I had a spirtual awakening. I realized that it didn't matter how long I drank for, it did matter though what my drinking did to me and others. It mattered that I had all the same feelings that everyone else did. I can really identify with your story. Thank you for helping me to remember that everything doesn't have to be okay all the time. I have a difficult time with telling people how I'm really doing.

I want to give people the impression that everything is okay with me and that I'm perfect. I know I'm not but I do try to live up to that. I realizing it doesn't matter. I'm not God. Everything is in his hands, not mine. I say the serenity prayer a lot and this helps. I can only change me, nobody else. I enjoy being sober today. Today I am able to lve a life I have always dreamed of having. My daughter is the biggest joy in my life and I want her to grow up in a healthy home, not the way I grew up. She doesn't have to live the way I did. I am changing and hopefully I can teach her in whats right and whats wrong. I grew up in a alcoholic home and my daughter will not live that way. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame anyone for me being an alcoholic but being aroung the booze and drugs growing up certainly had an impact on me. I hope you see this message here. I hope this is helping anyone by what I've shared. To any newcomers, Just keep coming back. It works if you work it.

To anyone how wants to talk off line please feel free to email me at this address. I would be more than grateful to share my experience,strength, and hope with anyone. Stacey if you see this please email me. It would be nice to talk to you again cause I really can relate to you.

Liorentas.Stephanie@3353ros.cion.cic.X400.gc.ca

Hope everyone has another 24 hours. Hang in their. It's tough, just take things one day at a time.

Member: Debs
Location:
Date: 27 Jul 1999
Time: 11:09:31

Comments

....

I love you.

.@,

Member: Jake L.
Location: New Jersey
Date: 27 Jul 1999
Time: 11:36:22

Comments

Member: Liber8ion@aol.com
Location: Atlanta GA
Date: 27 Jul 1999
Time: 11:58:06

Comments

I would like to start by saying thankyou to AA for saving the lives of many members of my family. The following is my experience, my strength, and my hope...my LAST hope. Please allow this post to be read so those of us who are in AA because we feel the only alternative is going it alone can begin to seek each other out for support and to explore other options. AA is very large and very powerful. There simply is no other forum where we can reach any others in recovery effectively besides AA. It is not my intent to "recruit" anyone away from AA, only to find others who share my feelings. I'm a spritualist woman who sruggled with my own philosophical differences with what for me was a negatively focused, judgemental, and dogmatic program for 4 years. Finally, being shushed for the last time for my outspokenness about my core philosophical and spiritual disagreements with some of the 12 steps, I stopped comming back. It seemed to me that there were many requirements for membership besides having a desire to stop drinking. I have heard them refered to as "you betters..." as in; "there are no 'you musts', but there are a few 'you betters...'" I'm looking for other open-minded women in Atlanta GA who want a firmer approach than is offered by Women for Sobriety, but who are committed to sobriety and crave a more loving and less judgemental approach than the AA of my experience has to offer. The book 'A New Understanding of Recovery; Many Roads, One Journey- Moving Beyond the 12 Steps' by Charlotte Davis Kasl,Ph.D., offers many positive suggestions. Please e-mail me if your interested ...I can't do this alone. What we focus on gets bigger; lets focus on our strengths instead of our "defects". Hope to hear from you... "Humility is no more than having the courage to love, especially yourself. There is no humility in self-abasement." With Love, Liber8ion@aol.com

Member: Albuquerque John
Location: Scotland (today)
Date: 27 Jul 1999
Time: 12:41:37

Comments

OOPS! I thought for a minute I had logged into the wrong meeting. For a few seconds I thought this is Hypochrondiacs Anonymous. Then I realised my Higher Power wouldn't let that happen. See they think they are sick - that is, they in Hypochrondiacs Anonymous, not me!

I have a real illness. Ain't it great to have found out precisely what was wrong with me! Now, all you adult children of non-alcoholic parents out there, please read AA's description of an alcoholic. If you feel you are one of us please accept the prescription and treat your alcoholism. Then it's easy.

Understand the problem first - Doctor's Opinion. See if you are like Bill W. Find out There Is A Solution. If you have a problem with religion read the Chapter to the Agnostic. Build up more mental defences by reading More About Alcoholism - then see how the First One Hundred and "me" did it! And millions more did it!

Then put it Into Action - for one day at a time for the rest of your life.

Thank God for alcohol - it got me to what I was looking for all my life.

Peace.

Member: Dale S
Location: California
Date: 27 Jul 1999
Time: 12:43:42

Comments

LET GO AND LET GOD

I have had some problems with this in the past and I probably will in the future. As I understand this we should ask for God help in all things and then do the things we are capable of doing and in all other things turn it over to God. Where the problem is with me is thinking I can do it myself when I am truly incapable. As with the drink problem I was totally incapable of stopping drinking I asked God for his help unconditionally. And then waited for him to take away the drink problem. I still found my self drinking against my own will for years. There was something missing. Something I needed to do in order for the grace of God to enter into my heat and case the obsession out. I had unknowingly failed to clean house. At least that is what I think it was because when I finally became willing to do step 4&5 the obsession left me.

Another point where I balk at this is when I feel the task is to important to turn over to there care of God. One case being a young child taking dope. My instinct tells me to handle it myself and take the dope away restrict the child and send him to a recovery center. Maybe I did the right thing and maybe I didn't. I do know the results were that my son shot himself and I still blame myself after 4 years

Member: Steph P.
Location: California
Date: 27 Jul 1999
Time: 13:28:36

Comments

Member: Edward P.
Location: San Luis Obispo CA
Date: 27 Jul 1999
Time: 15:29:28

Comments

I'm edward and i'm an alcoholic Alburque John said it all let go and let God must be a day by day thing sometimes a minute by minute thing. Work the first 3 steps all day all the way. I like what the man said "I'm a drunk, Gods the boss, and reporting for duty sir!" now a word from my sponser Wink. I'm an alcoholic, and my problem is Wink, and Wink is ballistic, and slowed down long enough to celebrate another birthday in July. It's hard to let go of control but have finally learned to let God have control this is my first time online and hopefully for a drink. Dear John please e-mail me that e-mail on alcohol at GR88TFUL1@cwix.com Edward. KEEP COMMING BACK! GO TO MEETINGS,READ THE BIG BOOK AND DON'T DRINK IN BETWEEN MEETINGS NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Member: Lynn
Location: Pa.
Date: 27 Jul 1999
Time: 15:29:58

Comments

My name is Lynn & I'm an alcoholic. Great topic Chuck. I've only been in AA for 19 days now. I knew that the HP thing was going to be really difficult for me, but something happened this week that should make it a little easier. I had to write a speech for school, and as usual, I put it off until the last minute, and I was a total nervous wreck about it because I did one last week, and it was a total disaster. Any way I stayed up all night writing this speech, and at 5:30 in the morning I called my sponsor. I told him how nervous I was. He told me to pray, so I did. To my surprise, although I was still nervous as hell, It worked out. It wasn't perfection, but it was a far cry better than the one I did last week. Thanks, Lynn

Member: Lynn K
Location: Pa.
Date: 27 Jul 1999
Time: 15:31:11

Comments

Member: barbara w.
Location: arizona
Date: 27 Jul 1999
Time: 16:55:51

Comments

hi im barbara .today a grateful alcoholic, I say today because I'm not always grateful.I take my will back alot,and when I do I have a very hard time living life on lifes terms...at which point I get my ass to a meeting get grateful and turn my life and will over to my higher power and then start working the steps.again ....I have 13 years of soberty and moved her a year ago.I got caught up in the rush of living in a new town and stopped living in my program...which in turn for me ..i stopped living.So once again I turn my life and my will over to my higher power and I keep comming back...It works if I work it...Thanks for letting me share. K.I.S.S.

Member: Patt
Location: Oregon
Date: 27 Jul 1999
Time: 19:03:06

Comments

Hi, all, my name is Patt, and I'm a grateful, recovering alcoholic. I love all the caring and sharing that I find at this site, even though I don't visit it on a regular basis. To the newcomers who are really feeing that early pain of WANTING things to be better and being afraid that they never will, take heart and listen to all the support and love that is sent your way--and we don't even know you. But we do know how you feel, and that is what makes us all so close. We've been where you've been, we know how much it hurts to be on the outside looking in, longing to be a part of, but knowing that we're either not good enough or too good to be accepted. My lord, I can remember that feeling of hopelessness as I write this, and I NEVER want to have to go there again, and I won't if I follow suggestions, read the book, listen to and learn from my sponsor, don't drink/use, and practice these principles in all my affairs.

Chuck C. used to say, "Surrender! In surrender is victory!!" Huh? That was really hard for me to understand when I was so new and vulnerable--thought I was so strong (ho, ho). Now I am very happy to leave the day's events up to my higher power and am so glad that I no longer have the responsibility for all the world's affairs (LOL). And I do try not to take back control, because then HP says to me, "Patt, dear, you're sitting in my chair again."

Let go and let God=I can't, He can, I will let Him.

Blessings on you all. Thanks for letting me share.

Member: Bruce A.
Location: St. Louis, MO
Date: 27 Jul 1999
Time: 20:19:21

Comments

My name is Bruce and I'm an alcoholic. I have read a few of you talk about being under twenty and belonging to AA. I think that is wonderful. I started drinking and drugging at 14 and continued until about 1 1/2 years ago at 36. I have found out that the longer one lives life with bad habits, the longer one has to take to learn how to live without them. I try to let go and let G-d, but I often get lost in my old ways of doing things. I distrust those who are close to me and who are helping me, and I distrust my sucesses. Meetings are important. Thanks.

Member: Bruce A.
Location: St. Louis, MO
Date: 27 Jul 1999
Time: 20:19:49

Comments

Member: Beth F
Location: MA
Date: 27 Jul 1999
Time: 20:28:21

Comments

Hi- I'm Beth and I am an alchoholic. I first came to this site about a week ago and received a lot of GREAT support--Thank you!!!! Also-Welcome to everyone that took that first step--believe me--it really can be the hardest one. I really like the topic of "Let Go-Let God". I just wish it could be easier to let go of that "thing" that made you feel "all better" (at least for a while!)and begin to feel confidence in ourselves and who ever else we wish to "pray" to. Right now I am watching an absolutly beautiful moon rising over the trees---tonight that will be the "person" I speak to----- Does anybody else understand that??????

Thanks for letting me share and everyone please stay safe!!! Beth

Member: PatS
Location:
Date: 27 Jul 1999
Time: 20:41:30

Comments

Hi Tamera, I do not understand who told you that AA was the only way ? We are openminded and willing to accept what-ever help it takes. church, Dr, mental health, meds, there are many programs that may work to help you recover. AA. just happened to be my home. :-)

Member: TONY G.
Location: 210 MADISON ST.
Date: 27 Jul 1999
Time: 21:01:01

Comments

HELLO,GROUP I'M A RECOVERING ALKIE NAMED TONY.I HAVE BEEN SOBER FOR 8YRS BY THE GRACE OF GOD.WHEN I THINK OF THE TOPIC LET GO AND LET GOD,I THINK OF THE 3RD STEP. IT TAKES A LOT OF PRACTICE FOR ME TO ACCOMPLISH THIS TASK, BUT WITH THE HELP OF MY SPONSOR,PEOPLE IN THE FELLOWSHIP, AND CONTINUAL PRAYER, I'M LEARNING TO LET GO AND LET GOD.AS I SAID I THINK OF THE 3RD STEP, MAKING THAT DECISION TO TURN MY WILL AND MY LIFE OVER TO THE CARE OF GOD AS I UNDERSTAND HIM,I'M LETTING GO AND LETTING GOD HANDLE MY LIFE.

Member: DAWN C.
Location: READING, MA
Date: 27 Jul 1999
Time: 23:49:24

Comments

HI I'M DAWN, ALCHOHOLIC/ADDICT...I'M SO GRATEFUL TO STILL BE SOBER TONIGHT.. I JUST GOT 90 DAYS...THIS IS THE THIRD TIME I'VE GOTTEN 90 DAYS, THE OTHER TWO TIMES I DRANK...LIVE AND LET GOD...I BELIEVE THATS WHAT KEPT ME SOBER TONIGHT, THAT AND ANOTHER DRUNK. IF YOU TRULY WANT SOBRIETY ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GO TO MEETINGS, ASK FOR HELP, AND DON'T PICK UP A DRINK NO MATTER WHAT...I ASKED FOR HELP AND I DIDN'T PICK UP A DRINK...BUT I BLEW OFF THE MEETING THINKING I REALY DID NOT NEED IT(AFTER A REAL BAD DAY)I TOLD ANOTHER DRUNK THAT I NEEDED SOME TIME TO THINK...THATS THE LAST THING I NEEDED TO BE DOING...ONLY 8 MORE MINUTES TIL ANOTHER DAY OF SOBRIETY...I BELIEVE I'LL MAKE IT. I'M FINALLY STARTING TO REALIZE THAT "KEEPING IT IN A DAY" WORKS...I'M NOT DRINKING TODAY...TOMMOROW WHO KNOWS, IF I ASK GOD FOR HELP AND GO TO MEETINGS CHANCES ARE I WON'T PICK UP THAT DRINK. I NEVER KNEW STAYING SOBER WAS GOING TO BE SO HARD..BUT ITS ALOT BETTER THAN WHERE THAT LAST DRUNK TOOK ME. TO ME LIVE AND LET GOD MEANS IF YOU TRULY WANT TO LIVE, YOU HAVE TO TURN YOUR LIFE OVER TO GOD AND LET HIM RUN THE SHOW BECAUSE WITHOUT HIM I HAVE NO LIFE....

Member: Annmarie
Location: Freeport, Tx.
Date: 28 Jul 1999
Time: 00:17:42

Comments

Hi I'm Annmarie and I'm an alcoholic -- To Tamera, I felt the same way at first and just could'nt get it. That would be the diesease workin' on ya'. It's cunning, baffeling and powerful. Kinda like a computer virus it knows enough to protect itself. I got sick and tierd of being sick and tierd, try just one more time to trust, what do you have to loose other than misery , pain, confusion and a few other nasty habits(as I am dual addicted)your how close to loosing your career, next it could be a life.Or mabe you haven't had enough yet, and you still got a few runs in ya', then you have'nt hit your bottom yet. The higher Power-- that will come to you. Just don't ever fool yourself into thinking it's you.I hope you figure out what your looking for,give A.A. a true chance (open-mindedness) anything could happen. Annmarie-alykat38@mastnet.net

Member: Deb F.
Location: N.E.
Date: 28 Jul 1999
Time: 00:18:16

Comments

Hello dear AA people....it has made me feel so much better just trying to read all these comments....to see so many people trying to stay sober and I so easily feel lonely. Never as alone as when that drink was no longer working and I knew the next drink was not going to do it either ...when I hit my bottom and knew alcohol was no longer the answer, then I really felt lonely and alone until A.A.. Sorry to carry on so much - this is my first time in cyberspace and I am happy to hear all of you! Let Go and Let God has been extremely hard - my best help has been a God "bag" or God "drawer" and sometimes the God "wastebasket". I have written whatever bothered me on a scrap of paper and written the words "I let this....go to God". Each time I went to add a piece of paper, usually the previous problem had been "solved", Acouple problems took a long time. It was reassuring to be reminded how everything worked out. Eventually the box was full and to show God I trusted - I dumped it all and now use a wastebasket as an act of faith that I no longer need to hold on to that scrap of paper? I makealot of "lists" and add "let go and let God" to the top of them to remind me of God's timing not my own frantic drive to finish it all now. Thank you so much - I feel lucky to have logged on and gotten here with you. Deb. F.

Member: James Lupp
Location: Montrose, Colorado
Date: 28 Jul 1999
Time: 00:24:28

Comments

Hello, my name is James and I'm an alky. Let Go and Let God. I thought AA was going to clicque' me to death. I couldn't stand it. Those drunks got a quick little saying for everything! I went to my sponsor one day with a real test. I told him that "AA seems to have a saying for everything, and right now I'm going through this tuff time(4th step whining). What do you call that?" He just smiled and said"We call that TUFF TIMES!" I just thought the guy was a genious. Then he said "let go, let God, you'll be better off." I was thinking about this all week/ Thanks for the topic. Let go and let God today also means Thank You! not all my prayers and meditations are Foxhole prayers sometimes they are Thank You. I no longer have this spiritual butler that goes around fetching me things and ripping crap out of me life and get me what I want. I'm just trying to play the role He asigns. My thinking is changing everyday. I'm simply under His protection and care. I've always needed 24hour supervision. HaHaHA. In the fellowship of the spirit. Gardeb variety drunk, James L.

Member: James
Location: Still in Colorado
Date: 28 Jul 1999
Time: 00:32:27

Comments

Spellcheck works if I work it!

Member: Tacey C.
Location: Arizona
Date: 28 Jul 1999
Time: 01:16:17

Comments

Sorry to double post, but, being the alcoholic that I am, I felt a need to respond to Ron. The third step prayer says, "Relieve me of my difficulties, that victory over them would bear witness to those I would help of Thy power, Thy love, and Thy way of life." I would say learning whom to trust or not trust could be considered a difficulty and, therefore, a viable connection to the third step.

If you want to attack someone in this program, make sure that you're looking them in the eyes so that you'll have the chance see the pain you may be inflicting upon them. Restraint from tongue, pen, and keyboard should be one of our top priorities in spiritual growth. Not my opinion, someone else's you may know about. I just added keyboard as PCs weren't around in his day. My question when sharing with others is always, "Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?" If it doesn't meet all those requirements, best leave it unsaid. Just some food for thought, Ron. Sorry for the cross-talk.

Member: Stacey
Location: South Dakota
Date: 28 Jul 1999
Time: 01:32:53

Comments

I will be brief. Stephanie, I will try to e-mail you tommorrow night.

Dale S, I know what it's like to lose people close to me due to suicide (a boyfriend and a friend). I could not begin to imagine losing a child. The one thing you need to understand is that no one has the power or influence to "take" someone else's life. Suicide is a result of a depression and hopelessness so deep that suicide is the only apparent answer at that moment. Putting a child into a drug treatment center does not cause suicidal reactions. I realize it is difficult to understand why anyone would take their own life unless you have been to that point yourself. I can only speak from my own experience; the pain, guilt, and shame was so great that I felt like death was the only thing that would make it end. I was UNABLE AND INCAPLE AT THAT MOMENT to realize that it was a set of feelings that WOULD pass, and remember all the people in my life that cared about me. I was at a point of self-absorbtion that I effectively blocked reality out. I can only reinforce to you that an "event" (placement in drug tx) does not cause suicide; it is a byproduct of untreated depression that started before that event ever occurred.

My heart and prayers go out to you and your family tonight. I hope you continue to use resources (sponsor, friends, family, even a counselor) to help you continue in the process of acceptance and releasing any remaining non-waranted guilt that you are still hanging onto. Forgiveness of self and others is not forgeting, it is letting go and moving on.

Member: SHAWNA L.
Location: PLACERVILLE,CA.
Date: 28 Jul 1999
Time: 02:47:40

Comments

Hi family.I'm SHAWNA AN ALCOHOLIC and that is probably the most important thing I'll say here tonight.For me May 10,1997 when I fell on my face and asked god to take the pain away,to help me,that was when I let go and I let god.I just wanted something better than what I had been getting and one day at a time since that day,Ihaven't found it necessary to take a drink or a drug and for that I am truly grateful.Tamara I hope you're able to begin looking at the similarites instead of the differences because if you don,t it could have a grave result.It's called TERMINAL UNIQUENESS!!!For me letting go and letting god is something that has to be done on a daily basis or Iwil slip back in to the old thinking,and if Istay there to long I'll eventually slip back into that old drinking.Look at GOD this way if you would like,it works for me and countless others.GOD simply means GOOD ORDERLY DIRECTION.Thanks for listening.

Member: Corey N
Location: New Haven, CT
Date: 28 Jul 1999
Time: 04:45:55

Comments

Good Morning all. . .I'm Corey and I am cross addicted. I have recently started a new job that is going to severely cut into my meeting schedule. This scares me a little but I think with a little work and effort I will be able to find meetings that will fit into my schedule. I am working a 7pm to 7am shift for 4 days a week.

I have become extremely grateful over the past few months. Alot has to do with giving my will over to GOD as I understand him. My life has turned 180!! I have just re-entered corporate america and started my first job since I got sober 11-02-98. What a feeling it is! I have struggled hard to find my way through this program and today I was again successfull and it is because I was able to pray and continue to let GOD take my will. I will need support over the next few months with the changes that are coming so I would appreciate some e-mail so I can make some on-line contacts with people I may be able to talk while I am working. Please if you have the time to help send mail to spazz1@mindspring.com thank you all!!

Member: Snow T
Location: Alpha, Queensland Australia
Date: 28 Jul 1999
Time: 06:38:27

Comments

HI, Chuck No one is hopless. When you have lost hope you are dead. If you were without hope you wouldn't be fiddling with the internet.

Member: Barbara
Location: CT
Date: 28 Jul 1999
Time: 08:30:30

Comments

When I first joined AA I couldn't understand steo three. Why Would I want to turn my will over to anyone? I'm human not a robot. Plus I was sure that what I wanted was "bad" and God's will would be "difficult" and painful. I thought about this alot. It took me a long time to realize the beauty of God's will which we see reflected in Nature and ultimately our own lives-maybe somed ay in ourselves if we are faithful.

Barbara Ct

Member: Joe Y.
Location: northern Ct.
Date: 28 Jul 1999
Time: 10:18:04

Comments

Joe here, cross addict.

(((Stacey))) Thank you. It's nice to know someone else out there understands. It's a horrible feeling that by the grace of God I (we) will never feel again.

Love you all. God bless

Member: Debbie
Location: Ma
Date: 28 Jul 1999
Time: 11:48:53

Comments

Getting on my knees is letting go and letting God - it is a willingness to believe there could be a better way. Sometimes I am not open to receive anything until I let something else go. It has been so hard to let certain thoughts go - seems I get obsessed on a thought or problem trying to figure it out. It has helped to remember God's will is stronger than mine (ouch, my ego). The step says "made a decision" to turn my will over - when I get on my knees I am making that decision...it is all that is needed. Yea, it is letting my Higher Power stear the boat, I still have to row!

Member: glo
Location: abq
Date: 28 Jul 1999
Time: 12:22:16

Comments

Glo here, alcoholic. "Let Go and Let God", hmmm..... a friend of mine says we pray for help so then we must accept what comes as help. 5 years into the program, I guess that's what letting go and letting God means to me.

Member: Erik P.
Location: Estonia
Date: 28 Jul 1999
Time: 12:48:26

Comments

Hi- My name is Erik and I'm an alcholic.

Tamaras question as to why should she trust AA members reminded me of myself when I first came in. When I was drinking I never trusted anyone but myself. I never thought of anyone but myself, and I was only "looking out for #1" (myself). And living that way, according to "my best thinking" had made my completely miserable and isolated from the rest of the world.

When I came into AA I saw people who were happy and laughing NATURALLY and saw something in them that I wanted for myself. I took their advice and TRUSTED them because they knew something I didn't: how to live without alchol and enjoy life. It wasn't easy to trust people at first, but what was my alternative?! I was sick of living in a world of s@#t.

Once I had given up the thought that the world revolved around me, and accepted a Higher Power, I suddenly had a sense of "belonging" to the human race, which I would have never experienced had I never trusted anyone.

Today being "one of many" is key to my soberiety, since if I succeed I have people to celebrate with, and if I fail I have friends to help me up and dust me off.

Next month I celebrate 8 years sober and thank God for this program.

Erik

PS- Does anyone know how I can find an english speaking (or any) meeting in Estonia? E-mail to: aa_erik@hotmail.com

Member: Lisa C.CallenC@gte.net
Location: Calif.
Date: 28 Jul 1999
Time: 14:40:27

Comments

Hi, my name is Lisa and I am an alcholic and addict. This is my first time sharing on this site. I have been trying to get on a meeting online for awhile. I have been around the program since 1991. I stopped drinking and went to meetings while still taking narcotics. I thought it was okey. Ha~! who was I trying to fool?!! Anyway, I now have almost 6 mos. and it is the longest I've ever had. I truely pray I will continue along in the days/mos/years ahead in this sober way of life.. I have never felt so good in many years or maybe even ever!

I am a divorced mother of 3 children. I am a stay at home raising children mom at the present time. Although I am a Dental Assistant, I am choosing to stay at home for now. I really enjoy my life today. There is so much to say and share, but I really want to share to Tammera the nurse. When I was taking my drugs from my Doctor {my employer} I couldn't ever stop. I was writing and or calling in my own perscriptions more and more. I lost jobs due to my using. It was a nightmare. I walked around with a THUD in my heart and stomach in such fear of being caught and going to jail. Granted, you don't trust yourself right now or have much faith, but ubtill you reach way down at the very bottom, till your so beaten up on the outside and in, close to the gravesite {where I was} you'll keep using no matter what unless you stick around these rooms and really listen to what people have gone through. Maybe if your lucky enough to get it now, you won't have to go where I have been. It is truely the most absolutely the worse place to be in the entire place. {or the worse place to be in your own head and thoughts!} Please stick around and really listen hard, cause I really don't want to see you have to do what I did, or worse see you buried. Life does feel Great! Give it a chance. Let me be your friend, Lisa

Member: Shawna I
Location: Saskatchewan
Date: 28 Jul 1999
Time: 14:52:09

Comments

I am not new in the fellowship but, I am new in sobriety. I have been sober for 6 weeks now and finding it harder then ever before. I have found a higher power, but sometimes I have a really hard time turning it over. Letting go and Letting god is one of the hardest things that I have had to do since I decided to get sober. I know that when I am able to turn it over things go a lot better and I get more out of my day. Today I am sober and for me that is a miracle.

Member: Shawna I
Location: Saskatchewan
Date: 28 Jul 1999
Time: 14:52:42

Comments

Member: Stephanie L
Location: London, Canada
Date: 28 Jul 1999
Time: 16:31:17

Comments

Hello to everyone.

To Dale S.

I lost my mother to suicide almost nine years ago. It affects me greatly still today. I have a difficult time dealing with this. I'm starting to talk about her now. My mother killed herself by taking hundreds of pills. It's the most selfish thing anyone can do but then again I wasn't living in her shoes. I myself know what it's like to want to die. I've tried to kill myself but just wanted attention cause the pain inside me hurt to bad. I like to believe that all my mother ever wanted was peace and I truely believe she is at peace. I have an angel watching out for me everyday and I know that your son is watching out for you. He may not be there physically but he is spiritually. Don't be afraid to connect to him. My heart goes out to you. I know your pain. Take things a day at a time and don't pick up that first drink cause I bet your son is very proud of how far you have come. Your a good person and even though it may not feel like that just remember how far you've come. I'll say a prayer for you tonight.

Member: Catherine V.
Location: N.C.
Date: 28 Jul 1999
Time: 16:59:25

Comments

I'm Catherine, I'm and Alcoholic, very grateful to be sober. It's my first time on the web and I'm glad I found you as I missed a meeting today. Now I've found one.

Tamara, I too was angry, angry that I could not drink again, and that I had to throw away the Nyquil (I had a lot of coughs, especially at night, of course) if I wanted to stay sober. But all of you loved me "anyway", just as we love you.

I still have trouble letting go and letting God be in charge of/take care with my life. That's because I am lazy. I may not want to do what God, as I understand him, wants me to do. And I'm afraid. STILL afraid. But now and again I remember that all I need to do is ask God to remove the fear, and it is gone. Until I take it back. Oh well, I am still sick. But at least I'm sober today. I thank God I haven't taken THAT back....yet.

Member: rapunzel
Location: right here
Date: 28 Jul 1999
Time: 17:06:53

Comments

"Letting go is the natural reaction to the realization that holding on hurts." I don't remember where I read that but it rings true to me. When I am in enough pain I then become willing to do whatever it takes to stop the pain. In the beginning that's what alcohol did,eased the pain of lonliness. Then that cure became even more painful than the original pain. I'm sober now, several years, but not as many as I drank. Letting Go and Letting God seems to be working, should that ever change I'll let y'all know but for now I'll just keep on believing.

Member: Prudence E
Location: wa.
Date: 28 Jul 1999
Time: 17:20:34

Comments

Hi, Prudence alcoholic,

I occasionally see (LOL). What does this mean?

Thanks, Peace, Prudence

Member: Brad B
Location: Harrison Arkansas
Date: 28 Jul 1999
Time: 18:14:56

Comments

Hi my names Brad & I'm a lonly alcoholic. I just moved to this town & I know no one. My wife is out of town for awhile. I've been sober for a long time. But there are times when I feel very insecure. This is one of those times. I would love to leave my Email. But since I just found this site. (and happy I did) I'm not sure my wife would approve of me giving out our Email address. I'ts good to here the enthusiasm. Sometimes when your on the program as long as I have you lose the way. Thanks every one for your comments.P.S. Does anyone out there no a meeting close to me. Thanks Higher Power

Member: tom r
Location: n.j.
Date: 28 Jul 1999
Time: 18:21:49

Comments

hi my name is tom and im comming back it doesnt get any better ive tried to run my life and i know i can't god is the only thing that can help he given me pepole like you i turned my back on the program 5 years ago and now im back

Member: Jim K.
Location: MA
Date: 28 Jul 1999
Time: 18:26:42

Comments

In true alcoholic fashion I was feeling like the only one who struggles with letting go and letting God when I decided to check out this site- THANK YOU ALL! -another happy coincidence of AA- I got exactly what I needed again. Thanks again.

Member: Rich R, slowly recovering compulsive person :-)
Location: Detroit
Date: 28 Jul 1999
Time: 18:53:34

Comments

Chuck, thanks for the topic. Over 8 years ago I let go of my bottle with the help of AA. What I need to let go of today is my mouse! You guessed it, I'm addicted to the Internet. I need to see that spending hours and hours online is just as insane as what I used to do when drinking. Thanks for letting me share.

Member: Brandon D.
Location: Harrisburg,Pa
Date: 28 Jul 1999
Time: 19:18:16

Comments

I have learned only through expirience when i stopped looking for God i found God or did he find me, or was he always there. I know i wouldn't be alive if not for the fellowship of AA i am 24 and have almost 5 years clean i now work as a counselor in an inpatient treatment facility

Member: TJ *?*
Location: St. Augustine, Fl
Date: 28 Jul 1999
Time: 19:59:37

Comments

Hat's off to(((Rupunzal))) you hit it right on the head when I became willing to let go!!! I also want to thank (((Geri))) For remindeing me of all those claw marks. I started just with believing that you believed. I knew that cause that's all ya'll talked about so it was a good begining. Today I see where my relationship with HP has changed drastically. Or maybe it's my thinking. Which ever it is a wonderful thing to let someone else do the driving and just enjoy the journey. Even in the storm it is always a lesson. I just don't drink go to meetings and stay in touch with my sponsor daily and it has worked. I came to AA in 1998 I stayed in 1994 after two dreadful relapes that I don't recomend to anyone seeing thows faces at thows meetings made all the difference I knew I wanted what they had. I still do! So for what ever it's worth just believe that I believe and keep coming back this program works under all conditions. I'm living Proof!!! God Bless (((Tamara))) (((Chuck for the topic))) (((Donald))) ((((all the rest)))) p.s. my name is TAMARA too *?* !!!

Member: Phil F
Location:
Date: 28 Jul 1999
Time: 22:43:39

Comments

Hello everbody when I came into the great A.A. program the group that I went to on Thursday nite read a closing that a part went like this "EVEN THOU YOU WILL NOT LIKE ALL OF US YOU WILL LEARN TO LOVE US IN A SPECAL WAY" that is the way it is today there are some that i do not like today but when we set around the tables we are there for the same purpose to stay sober. I can not get into the trust thing I have been burnt by people in the program ,but the longer that you stay in the cloud will lift and you will see throught the B.S.when I let go and let god my days go a heck of a lot better but when I have the control I can turn a brick of gold into a pile of tin good topic and hang in there Tamarra remeber god will not deal you any more than you can handle

Member: Bill
Location: CO
Date: 28 Jul 1999
Time: 23:36:55

Comments

Hello, I'm Bill I am an acholohic and I am having a hard time deciding to go to a meeting for the first time.... I am still active and I think I want to quit but very timid to do it, My health is failing (you would think that would be enough to make anybody quit)but I am to hard headed. What do I do..

Member: Alcoholics Anonymous
Location:
Date: 29 Jul 1999
Time: 01:08:20

Comments

To Bill in CO .... If you can't bring yourself to go to a meeting on your own, get your phone book out... STOP! Put the bottle away and straighten up a little first... then look up Alcoholics Anonymous and call. In all probability your local intergroup office will hook you up with a sober alcoholic to talk to and help you to move in the direction you seem to want to go ... toward the light!

p.s. start praying for strength and sobriety even if you don't know how or to Who...

WE are here for YOU! AA

Member: Gracie
Location:
Date: 29 Jul 1999
Time: 01:43:43

Comments

Gracie here, an alcoholic. BILL: Don't even worry about "straightening up" just find AA if you want to stop drinking. The people in AA will accept you just the way you are. Believe me, if they accepted me they will accept you. The first thing I heard in AA was, "if you don't want to drink anymore, you don't have to." Find your local AA group or AA central office and they will help you. God bless and God speed.

Member: Gracie
Location: Texas
Date: 29 Jul 1999
Time: 01:44:18

Comments

Member: Gracie
Location: TEXAS FOREVER
Date: 29 Jul 1999
Time: 02:14:34

Comments

Gracie again, sorry for the double click. Not my puter's fault, operator error!!

Member: KATHY L
Location: CHICAGO, IL
Date: 29 Jul 1999
Time: 09:16:19

Comments

TO: JENNI K TRY TO IMAGINE WHAT YOUR HUSBAND MUST BE GOING THROUGH. LET GO AND LET GOD

Member: Julia L
Location: Scotland
Date: 29 Jul 1999
Time: 11:55:31

Comments

Please can somebody answer Prudence's question - what is LOL? I need to know too!

A grateful alcoholic (24 hours at a time).

Member: Albuquerque John
Location: Scotland (today)
Date: 29 Jul 1999
Time: 12:08:37

Comments

In my early days I had a few problems with the preparation Step before Step 4.

Yeah, that's the step where I realised that I was still restless, irritable and discontent and that before I can do a proper Step 4 I have to let go of the nitty gritty things that felt so precious to hang on to. I had some problems in three areas - money, employment and women. It felt at the time - if I let go of these things, what have I left? Then I realised via my sponsor that these are the AREAS I'M IN CHARGE OF! What a relief it was to realise that what I had to let go of was self will!

See, self will got me here, so it had to go in order to live in the solution one day at a time. Before I came to this deal and got totally committed to it I couldn't stay stopped (drinking). But once I really got into the deal I found I could stay stopped. See, alcohol wasn't my problem - my head was!!

Member: Linda W.
Location: TEXAS
Date: 29 Jul 1999
Time: 14:07:13

Comments

I'm Linda and I'm an alcoholic. LOL is laugh on line and LMAO is laughing my ass off. Really enjoyed what John said about letting go. I will have 14 years next week (God Willing) and I still find myself hanging onto things I think I can control. I don't know who I think I am, but sometimes I find it hard to remember God does do a better job than me. Have a Great Day.

Member: Ken
Location: S.E. PA
Date: 29 Jul 1999
Time: 17:21:38

Comments

Hi, I'm Ken, Alcoholic. Just got my inter group AA newsletter and it has an article about Let Go and Let God. It reads as follows......... As children bring their broken toys with tears for us to mend,I brought my broken dreams to God because He was my friend. But then, instead of leaving Him in peace,to work alone,I hung around and tried to help,with ways that were my own. At last, I snatched them back and cried,"How can you be so slow ??" "My child" he said,"what could I do ??" "You never let go" God's never on time, But He's never late !!!!

Thought that was interesting...Thanks for letting me share.....Peace.

Member: CG
Location:
Date: 29 Jul 1999
Time: 20:19:51

Comments

....

I love you too.

Member: Alicia
Location: Buffalo,NY
Date: 29 Jul 1999
Time: 21:07:51

Comments

This is my first meeting on the web. Presently I am trying to adjust to life here in Buffalo (I am from the west coast) and I find it very difficult at times. I like the meetings...but I'm just not as comfortable here. I felt like I needed a meeting tonight, but had missed all the local meetings...so I thought I'd give the "web meeting" a try. I worried at first..will I be able to find a meeting /figure it all out etc. But I decided to 'let go and let my higher power' guide it all...and I found this wonderful meeting immediately and the topic , well, that is how I live my life now and I am so grateful !! Thanks to all of you!!

Member: Susan CR
Location: Florida
Date: 29 Jul 1999
Time: 21:32:31

Comments

Hi! My name is Susan and I AM an alcoholic. This was a great topic-one of my favorites. Tied into step 3--also one of my all time favorites. I too had a great deal of trouble letting go AND letting Goc. I believe deeply in the spiritual part of the program and I believe today in a HP who I chose to call God. I heard a lot of good AA reading the comments in this meeting. I confess I did not read them all, but the ones I read were truly inspiring. To Stephen: you are an alcoholic if you say you are and if you are inquiring, chances are you are. A desire to stop drinking is all you need to join AA and if you have a desire to stop--you probably have lots of reasons to. I have a habit of overanalyzing things to death sometimes and the saying : Don't analyze, utilize fits great. I first heard that in Al-anon, another worthwhile organization which gave me a lot of support and reason to go on. Having this meeting place is the greatest thing since macaroni. I can't believe the places that people come from--it's really terrific. I have had to let go and let God quite a bit lately and in all honesty, I haven't been completely successful and listening to what was said here made me see that very clearly. Thank you. There are things in my life that aren't going quite like I would like them and I need to remind myself that they are going the way they are supposed to and I need to be patient. Thanks to all for being there and I will definitely be returning for more AA.

Member: Susan CR
Location: Florida
Date: 29 Jul 1999
Time: 21:34:46

Comments

Member: Susan CR
Location: Florida
Date: 29 Jul 1999
Time: 21:39:27

Comments

Member: Susan CR
Location: Florida
Date: 29 Jul 1999
Time: 21:45:06

Comments

Member: Susan CR
Location: Florida
Date: 29 Jul 1999
Time: 21:47:59

Comments

Member: randy g
Location: indiana
Date: 29 Jul 1999
Time: 22:11:02

Comments

hello my name is randy and newly sober i justed wanted to know if anyone was out there who could relate to anxiety and restlessness

Member: randy g
Location: indiana
Date: 29 Jul 1999
Time: 22:16:57

Comments

god bless you bob

Member: Lisa C.
Location: Calif.
Date: 30 Jul 1999
Time: 00:18:10

Comments

Hi, this is Lisa, Alcoholic/Addict. It has been wonderful reading on the last few days since I shared on the 28th. I am really "letting go and letting God" help me with the everyday tasks of being at home with the kids. The kids have been having their summer time too much of each other blues. The fights and arguements and screaming matches are what I am dealing with today. Wow, it feels so good to be in this cyberweb meeting tonight. Thank you, I really feel better already. I always do remember too, that There is always,ALWAYS someone out there a heck of lot worse than my little whinning!!!! Good Nite and I look forward to sharing again later. Thanks for allowing me to share with you. Lisa C.

Member: deb f.
Location: n.e.
Date: 30 Jul 1999
Time: 00:27:21

Comments

yeah - Randy - you are not alone! Someone told me, when I was nervous before speaking, that given the situation they'd wonder if I wasn't anxious! - of course I was anxious - it's all so new. I switched to decaf. coffee, tried to exercise ....and even today after nine years I still feel anxious yet those who knew me in the beginning say I'm alot calmer so sometimes I don't remember how bad it was. Just don't let it stop you from meetings! I was so nervous I didn't remember what I read during a step meeting or what I said during discussion...they said it could be my higher power shaking the truth out of me? For what it's worth - a drink won't help either - saying "I can't, God can, I'll let him" has helped me dare to face alot of fears. Sorry to post again - I guess I'm just supppose to write once/wk? - I read your note and wanted you to know it's really o.k. - I know how you might feel. Peace to all who write - you've given me so much hope to be able to let go and let God.

Member: Caroline
Location: Texas
Date: 30 Jul 1999
Time: 00:42:04

Comments

Hi Lisa! You are NOT alone. You know what my day was like! Letting Go takes on a whole new meaning, when it is your children you are dealing with. Especially when they are the only people I talk to sum daise (thats a joke) Hi Everyone! It has been a while since I had a chance to sit down and read whats going on....We went away for a couple of weeks - which was really fun. Its always exiting to get away. Letting Go seems to be a lot about dropping my expectations and out comes. I do so well when I know I am going into difficult situations, because I have learned, over time, that this works for me - without fail. Its only a matter of finding/getting the help I need to get me to that point. Whats hard for me is when I enter a situation unprepared - like most of today, for instance. I seem to be getting tripped up by the little stuff, which is fine. I am teachable, I am using all the tools the program gives me, and I am grateful. Went to a great meeting tonight. I realized for the 1000th time, that it could be much worse. I am truly living the good life - One Day At A Time - Caroline

Member: Eileen H.
Location: Queens, NY
Date: 30 Jul 1999
Time: 01:30:56

Comments

Good evening, all. Eileen, grateful, recovering alcoholic. For those who asked LOL also stands for "laugh out loud". Another one you will see is ROFL "roll on floor laughing". The need to abbreviate is obvious, lol.

Randy, it takes a long time for the alcohol/drugs to remove themself from your system. Anxiety and restlessness are usual in early sobriety, it's not fun . . . but it does eventually go away. Try to find something to do that will keep you physically active. Helped me. I had the cleanest apartment in NYC, lol. People in my group use the phrase "Move a muscle, change a thought". Does seem to work.

There has been some excellent discussion here this week. My take is this: Bill. People go to AA because they're drunks trying to get sober. Lots of people show up drunk, some people show up drunk even after going to AA meetings for a long time. If you truly want a shot at staying sober, just go!! There's an 800 number for AA in every phone book. If you don't own a phone book, dial 411, or call the operator and ask to be connected to AA. I've done all of the above, including going to meetings intoxicated.

Tamara, maybe because you're mandated to the program it's harder for you to understand what the folks mean about "love". I found it hard, too, at first. All that hugging, kissing, and stuff at meetings. Then when I used the telephone for the first time when I had an urge to drink at night so intense that I JUST KNEW I would drink if I didn't call someone . . . well, when that person on the other end of the phone was able to talk to me until the obsession had passed, when I had made it through THAT night without a drink, I too, was giving them a hug when I saw them at a meeting at telling them "Thank You. You Were Instrumental In Keeping Me Sober Another 24-Hours". When that happens a few times, you really do start to appreciate what this program is all about. It's one drunk helping another drunk get through a 24-hour period. Some days are easier than others. Trusting an addict/alcoholic you find in AA whose been sober for a while is not the same as trusting an addict/alcoholic whose ready to go cop their next fix. I don't think anyone here would trust an active individual. Just wanted to share those thoughts with you.

A long time ago I found that when I "found things 'wrong' with AA" I was really just finding my way "out the door". See, if I wanted to drink again I seemed to need to find fault with the program (lol not me). I've found that a lot of people do the same thing!! These days I try to remember "take what you need, leave the rest alone". Most important thing in recovery is "don't drink/drug today".

My impression of "Let Go and Let God". Stop obsessing over the outcome of everything. Stop projecting. Stop looking for the answer to Everything. If there is a situation that I truly have control over the outcome, say taking a quiz and I can study for it, fine I'll worry about study time. BUT. If there is a situation I have NO control over, i.e., will the brain surgery turn out ok, I turn that worry over to God. May not work for all, but it sure works for me.

I would like to welcome all the newcomers to this site and to AA. Just remember, this site does not take the place of a face-to-face (f2f) meeting. It's "in addition to". Sorry for the rambling ideas . . . almost 4 months sober . . . and I have a hard time keeping my thoughts straight at times. But, I would like to add, I, too, will be talking to that "Moon" tonight and, YES, I understand PERFECTLY what you were saying.

If AA has a slogan that means a lot it's "Meeting Makers Make It" and "Seven Days Without A Meeting Makes One Weak".

Sober In New York and Loving It, Eileen

Member: Leo E.
Location: Calgary
Date: 30 Jul 1999
Time: 01:46:47

Comments

Hi I'm Leo and I'm an alcohoic. I'm working at Letting Go-letting God right now as I am planning to work overseas in a Middlie Eastern Country. Sometimes the fact that God has kept me sober up until now, doesn't comfort me as I go ahead. What proof could I have that would be better than 25 yrs of sobriety? Maybe God doesn't live there or maybe its a different God. I was thinking" Well , there's really not much alcohol there anyway. This type of thinking borders on retarded since alcohol is not my real problem. My real problem always is and always was alcoholism.

Basically , I need to go to AA or have a drink. The choice is mine.

Anyway I thought I would try using chat rooms as that may be my only avenue at first.

Member: James Lupp
Location: Montrose, Colorado
Date: 30 Jul 1999
Time: 02:33:27

Comments

Hello, my name is James, and I'm an alky. Bill in colorado; I remember a time when the local AA meeting was the only hour of my day I went without a drink. I saw that 3rd tradition that said "The only requirement for membership was a desire to stop drinking" I took that to mean you had to be drinking when you got there. HaHaHa I sure was! AA has no rules and our only requirement is not really a requirment. Bill, be careful though, if you hang around those meetings too long, they will ruin your drinking. A head full of AA, and a belly full of booze is one lousy cocktail! Bro, I've played the drinking game. I lost every time. Booze had me beaten and down for the count. I found that I had lost control of the uncontrolable. The more I tried to control the booze, the more it controlled me. I just could not believe that the booze had turned on me the way it did. It had been literally years since the good times were there. There was just this old familiar hell of puking and pooping at the same time every morning, with the thought in the back of my head, "What a small price to pay to be able to drink!" I did well in captivity, jail, treatment centers and the like. But out here on the street things got slippery and I fell flat. Bill, if you want to drink, that's your business. If you want to quit drinking for good and all, join up with this goofy outfit. It worked for me so I'm biased. If you had not come along to this site, I may not have had the opportunity to share this part of my experience. So Bill, thank you for 12 stepping this old drunk. I live in Colorado, too, and God still loves me!HaHaHa Please, check out a meeting. Mention my name, you'll get a good seat! HaHaHa This drinking game is just too hard for some to whip on their own. I know, been there, puked on that T-shirt. Appreciate ya, more than you'll ever know. If you need a list of meetings, you may drop a line to anniel@ocinet.net for info. I'm just a drunk away from a drink and drink away from a drunk. God bless. (don't let that God word bother ya, that's just what works for me bro. In the fellowship of the spirit. James L.

Member: James L
Location: Colorado
Date: 30 Jul 1999
Time: 02:58:30

Comments

Please, whoever posted as "Alcoholics Anonymous", rethink that. The traditions of AA are not negotiable, they are born of the tragedies and experince of those gone before as guides to progress in unity. I'm not the Traditions police. We are responsible. Thanks James L

Member: Jan B
Location: Washington, State
Date: 30 Jul 1999
Time: 13:47:02

Comments

Hi everyone, my name is Jan and I am an alcoholic. I am new at this computer stuff,so I'll see how this goes. I think this is really cool, but I hope this form of communication doesn't take away from getting off our butt's and going to a meeting! You see, for me it took ACTION,and lots of it to stay sober. I needed to be in the presents of other alcoholics to mimic there behavior, to see AA in action,to do things for others,ie: make coffee, clean-up after the meetings, etc. I needed to get out of my self centered,self. Show up,read your big book, go to meetings, get a sponsor and do the footwork. I had not only a drinking problem, but a living problem! I learned from those who had gone before me how to do that. When I became willing to be willing to let go my life began to change. Alot of us get stuck on the " fox trot steps" 1,2,3,1,2,3,. When I made a commitment to do the 4.5.6 steps my life began to change. For those who have a hard time finding God---don't worry about it, God's already found you! That is why you made it to AA before you died out there. Keep coming back,surrender,and stay out of God's way. Keep it simple. All we have is today. I am proof that there is a God. I have managed to put together 10 years, one day at a time.

Member: Lisa C.
Location: Ventura County,CA.
Date: 30 Jul 1999
Time: 17:01:25

Comments

Hi,my name is Lisa

I wanted to see how Tamera was doing since she shared earlier this week. I hope that you are still around and listening well. I have been thinking of you. Today is a good day again. Things happen and I just ask God to assist me in my ACTIONS today. Seems to be working one more time. I thank God and the program of AA. Without you all, It would be difficult. I love this way of life. Have a good weekend all and I look forward to next weeks AA-AOL! Thanks again for letting me share.

Lisa C. (E-Mail me if you'd like-CallenC@gte.net)

Member: Michael M
Location: Minneapolis
Date: 30 Jul 1999
Time: 17:58:36

Comments

Hi I'm Michael and I'm and alcoholic. I have been sober and attending meetings now for almost six years. For most of the last five I can say that the desire to drink has truly been removed from me, by the grace of my higher power. But the last two or three months I have been bothered by recuring "drinking dreams" and I find myself "wishing" I could drink from time to time. I don't know what the source of this pattern of thinking is. I have been attending fewer meetings of late, and spending more time with my drinking relatives. I am coming to the conclusion that the desire to drink is coming from that old desire to fit in that was a large part of my early drinking history. I have come to the conclusion that the best response to these feelings is to spend more time with other AA's. I have been getting back into the habit of attending my home meeting every week (I was down to about once a month). I decided to try to find an on-line meeting to supplement my home group. My schedule and my family obligations mean that my time isn't always my own. Anyway, I found this WEb site, and I have gotten a lot of encouragement from reading the sharing of the others.

This is sort of an example of letting go and letting God in action. I turned my problem over to God, and lo and behold, I have found a source of help for it. Just typing this has made feel more in touch with the only people with whom I am truly "at home" - my fellow AA's It works if you work it - sober Michael M. Minneapolis

Member: Jenni
Location: Penn
Date: 30 Jul 1999
Time: 20:00:26

Comments

Hi I'm Jenni an Alcholic Thank's Lori D for your words. Now that I'm done feeling sorry for myself, I can get on with life and more important things. I know I must let go of my control and let GOD do his thing, that's really hard for me to do I am the all great Jenni ruler of any one around me, can't people see that. HA HA Thank's to GOD who can receive my jokes and still love me and help me. I also need to thank all the people in the program who stand behind me even when I'm a real jerk. I've always beleived in a higher power since childhood but him on that back self untill I needed him, now I know I must talk to him on a regular basis, even just to thank him for the wonderful day. Letting go and letting GOD is very hard, I let go then I take it back, maybe someday I'll get the hang of this. I've got quit a few 24's under my belt but seem just as stupid as the first day I walked into the rooms. Thank you all for allowing me to share with you.

Member: FREDRICA W.
Location: ONTARIO, CAN.
Date: 30 Jul 1999
Time: 22:43:26

Comments

Hi every one my name is Fredrica, my friends call me Fred and I am an alcoholic. I have just set up my internet service today and am delighted to have found this AA chat room. (if it's real). I have also just returned from chairing my home group meeting, which is a speaker meeting. I am approaching 16 months of one day at a time sobriety and feel I need discussion meetings in order to grow and learn. The topic Let go and Let God is an area I am having difficulty with. In my area some people use the expression fake it till you make it. I've also read that as long as I keep coming back you will teach me how to Let God. So keep coming back, it (programme) works if you work it. Thanks, Fred

Member: Dale C
Location: Houston,Texas
Date: 31 Jul 1999
Time: 01:38:12

Comments

Hello Group, This is my first time in cyber AA , but I am glad I checked it out.I just came home from a meeting IRL , and someone there told me about this site.God bless all of you , hang in there, sobriety is not for wimps!!! :o) I am addicted to everything I can get my hands on , so I really need all the help I can get. I have experience in jails , prison , mental wards , rehab , and spent 20 years screwing up my life and the lives of everyone I love most.Thanks to my HP , I don't have to live that way today.God is good to me today. I first sobered up 2.5 years ago , just in time to get run over by the snowball of trouble I had set in motion. I went to AA in prison , and it really helped , there is not a lot of love in there , except for the people working the steps , The helping hand of AA was there for me then , and still is today in the free world . I got out and stopped going to meetings , I didn't have the time I thought.I slowly reverted back to old thinking as a result of not working my program.I ended up all screwed up again , worse than ever just like the big book says. Now I only have 3 weeks of sobriety,but thats okay, a lot of people never make it back , I am just grateful to be alive and free.I need this program like I need air , or I will surely die. A lot of doors are closed to me now because of my past mistakes , but I am still welcome in this program , even on my third desire chip.I was made to feel at home , because I am home in AA , you are all my family . I am tired of running , tired of being sick all the time , and this simple program has given me the strength I need to plow through the wreckage of my past , one day , one step at a time.Each passing day is getting better for me now , finally . I don't have much left now , but I have hope for the future , and that is priceless . I am truly grateful for the hope you all have given me. I have serenity in spite of calamity!!! I guess I changed this to a gratitude meeting ,but I can't help it because now I am a dopeless hope feind , not a hopeless dope feind. THIS ONLY WORKS IF YOU WORK IT ;o) e-mail Q Ball @ AOL.Com

Member: Dale C
Location: Houston,Texas
Date: 31 Jul 1999
Time: 01:42:48

Comments

OOPS!!! That's Q Ball 1101 @ AOL .COM Sorry for the double post , my short term memory is not what it used to be.

Member: There is a solution
Location: Examples of it everywhere
Date: 31 Jul 1999
Time: 04:32:05

Comments

How to let go and let God? Step 1; ldentify the problem Step 2; ldentify the solution Step 3; Make a decision Steps 4-9 Carry out that decision This action leads to sobriety ( See Big Book for more details) Steps 10&11 help maintain that sobriety, one day at a time. Simple. Thats how to let go and let God. The A.A. way.

Member: SHAWNA L.
Location: PLACERVILLE,CA.
Date: 31 Jul 1999
Time: 05:20:49

Comments

Hi family. I'm Shawna an Alcoholic.I've been reading practically every night and tonight Bill,you took me back to when I was just getting sober.I first wasn't sure if I was an alcoholic because I thought I was to young but that was just an excuse for not going to a meeting.So inevitably I stayed drunk.That until I concided to my inter most self that I was an alcoholic and I had to do something about it.So I picked up the phone and called AA and there was somebody there to help me once again.I hope with all of my heart that you call AA because life just doesn't get no better than this and that my friend I promise you one day at a time!!!To the member that asked "How do you know that you're an alcoholic"?It says in the bigbook an alcoholic is a man or a woman that has lost the ability to control his drinking.thanks for letting me share.My E-mail address is darbs@ix.netcom.com should anyone like to converse further.Love Ya'll,SHAWNA.

Member: Rob R.
Location: Vancouver
Date: 31 Jul 1999
Time: 05:23:16

Comments

Hello! I am Rob and I am a grateful member of Alcoholcs Anonymous. Randy, I jumped out of my chair when I read your request. I am 16 months clean and sober and the biggest hurdle for me was to accept my anxiety as a symbol of growth. For me all those pings in my chest and feelings of dread were catalysts for action and for staying sober. I know it sounds strange-sometimes all I wanted to do at 3:00 in the morning was drink to make the pain go away. When that happened I called my sponsor and stayed on his couch. I did that for a solid month in the beginning of my sobriety. Sometimes it still happens but(and you'll hear this a lot) this too shall pass. Welcome to AA and the beginning of a wonderful life for you.You are a truly special person, don't let anyone tell you different. Let us love you until you can love yourself.

Take it Easy, Rob.

Member: Albuquerque John
Location: Scotland (today)
Date: 31 Jul 1999
Time: 10:34:43

Comments

Welcome home Dale C in Houston. This Fellowship was the last house on the lock in the free world when I arrived.

Bet you never thought a Scotsman would find the solution in New Mexico to what he thought was his problem - yeah man that was the route I had to take. It was the greatest journey I ever made in my life. I went to any lengths! Truth for me is that I could not have got there without booze! Thank you Johnnie Walker Black Label. Without you I could not have done this. Yeah man I also ran, but my last 4,000 miles were fuelled with booze!

See I got here because of a dilemma. Alcohol wasn't my problem when I got here - my problem was I could not drink any more alcohol. I was really sick of being sick.

AA came to me in New Mexico and, to be honest, in my early days the messenger said one day you wil be able to go back to your own country and clear away the wreckage. That was something I never thought possible, but a journey I had to undertake.

This is the only society I have ever stuck to, the only place that promised me if I did what they suggested then one day I would be a "free man". I promise you, if you do what is suggested in the Programme of Recovery of AA then you will be able to do things beyond your wildest dreams.

There is good AA in this group. I'll be around this group until mid October then I'm off to Southern Europe for the winter, then back to New Mexico later next year. That seems to be the plan of action today that the Big Boss has laid out!

Stick with it Dale C and God Bless.

Member: Albuquerque John
Location: Scotland (today)
Date: 31 Jul 1999
Time: 10:36:54

Comments

Welcome home Dale C in Houston. This Fellowship was the last house on the lock in the free world when I arrived.

See I got here because of a dilemma. Alcohol wasn't my problem when I got here - my problem was I could not drink any more alcohol. I was really sick of being sick.

Stick with it Dale C and God Bless.

Member: Dale C
Location: Houston , Texas
Date: 31 Jul 1999
Time: 11:36:40

Comments

Hello group, Well , one more sober day for me , hope all of you got to add one too! If not , keep coming back ,sobriety is the exception ,not the rule.I hope we can all be exceptional together today.

Albequerque John , thanks for the welcome and I hope you have a safe trip through europe.Good luck in clearing up your wreckage,if you drank like me, and it sounds like you did ,you may need a bulldozer to plow through ,but there is good ground for a solid foundation under all the stuff I let pile up , I am sure you are no differant.God bless and just don't drink.

Shawna,hello,as for being too young to be an alcoholic , I was a wreck at only 12 , I wish I had gotten the help I needed then , could have saved a whole lot of misery , I am so glad to see young people in the program , maybe they can learn from us geezers mistakes and not have to wake up the hard way.(Im not that old really, just a youngster at 33!!)I hear its never too late to have a happy childhood so I try to have fun today. :0)

Someone asked how do you know if you are an alcoholic.I was not sure until a few weeks ago so I took THE TEST. I tried some controlled drinking experiments , because my pride didn't want to face the truth.I did great for a few days,had only 2 drinks a day ,then one night I woke up in my car , in a parking lot alone ,I was one sick puppy ,Then I lost another job , then I got depressed and said the short version of the serenity prayer (screw it!),and ended up on a couple day binge on every drink and drug I could get my hands on , and I had just cashed my paycheck , had way too much cash on me to get that wasted.It happened like the book says ,I started off worse than I was when I had sobered up 2.5 years before my little experiment.In short , I failed that test with flying colors.I only have a few weeks sober now , but I don't have that nagging question in the back of my brain.I am an alcoholic / addict.I am just grateful I made it back before I accidentally killed someone or got arrested again , or worse, had to sober up in that big meeting in the sky as a lot of other people have done.I am one of the lucky ones , we don't all get another shot at recovery.This disease kills people,feel free to look it up cuz thats a fact! As far as diseases go , I'm glad I have this one , at least I know how to keep it in remission ,One day at a time.Anyone else out there try that controlled drinking test?Same results?Anyone pass it and just come here anyway , maybe for the coffee?If you passed congrats , send me a cheat sheet cuz I still just want to be NORMAL. But for today , I'm still Dale , and I'm still an alcoholic ,and thank god , I'm still sober!!

I have talked too much again ,guess I better just listen for a while , suit up ,show up and shut up. Bye4Now!

Member: Tom A. 7/25/60
Location: Carlisle, AR
Date: 31 Jul 1999
Time: 12:35:50

Comments

Good Morning!

My name is Tom A. a grateful sober alcoholic today, by the grace of God and the teachings of this program.

Thank you Chuck K. down there in Texas. Your topic has indeed generated many comments this week and my two-cents worth is as follows.

A.A. has shown me the way to understand the ultimate authority in my life, Tradition 2. I also feel that the motto "Let Go and Let God" is summarized very well in the three pertinent ideas found a page 60, of the Big Book and quoted here.

(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives. (b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcholism. (c) That God could and would if He were sought.

I thank everyone who has posted this week, it is an example that we can still love one another even if we don't fully agree on how each indivdual works this SUGGESTED PROGRAM OF RECOVERY.

Enjoy Your Sobriety Today!

God Bless - Tom A. ate@gte.net

Member: ..
Location:
Date: 31 Jul 1999
Time: 16:24:48

Comments

...

Member: Blair R
Location: Canada
Date: 31 Jul 1999
Time: 20:39:00

Comments

Hi.. My name is Blair and I am an alcoholic.

I'll give you a brief history ... I sobered up nine years ago. The first 5 years were relatively easy for me. Many of the problems I was having cleared up shortly after I quit drinking. The last 4 years have been very difficult. I relapsed in October of last year and have not made it back to a meeting since. I am 38, but I feel very old and tired. I've gone from living an active, fulfilling life to isolation. I have been too ashamed to go back to the groups that I used to love. My physical appearance has changed drastically and I hurt all the time.

My faith in God is at an all time low right now..I'm really hurting and I don't know why.

I know the program has helped me straighten out my life before ... I think I just need someone to tell me that they understand.

Member: NCOLE L
Location:
Date: 31 Jul 1999
Time: 20:50:39

Comments

Hi everyone! My name is Nicole And I am An alcoholc

I have recently gotten out of treatment and I have not done as well as I would have hoped, but all that is changing. I realized that everything that I had hoped to hang on too with sobriety was not possible. Everything that I had hearrd in treatment was just slapping me in the face so 1 week later I lost my job of 2 years,(unjustly) and just about everything but my family, anyway I am just now trying the computer thing out since i have access to one and I hope to find some true friends and advice for opportunities available to me on the internet: plus meetings where you can talk to in a chat room> ANYONE OUT THERE?