Member: Sheri F
Location: Hot, Dry, Portland, OR
Time: 8:35:06 PM
Hi, Sheri F. here. Am i the first this week? If so what about discussing COMPLACENCY. How easy it is to get complacent and "slide" on our laurels and not work the program daily. I am famous for this. I need to be reminded almost daily. Don'tknow whether it is old age or false pride one more time. False Pride for me, my WORST character defect, and i fight it daily. If you want to change the topic please feel to do so. Love and prayers, Sheri F slfrey@Yahoo.com
Member: Inez J.
Time: 8:56:37 PM
Sheri, I agree with you. Complacency is very dangerous for me. I get self satisfied and don't "walk the walk" the way I should. I find that my problem is usually getting too busy with the "urgent" things of life and forgetting the "important" things. Being too busy and overwhelmed with the daily work of life is always a danger for me. Thanks for reminding me of that.
Member: Rhonda K.
Location: Derry, N.H.
Time: 9:10:27 PM
Hi I'm Rhonda and I'm an alcoholic. Hi Sheri! I was thinking along those lines this morning. I went to my Sun. morning meeting for the firs time in a few weeks and I know I feel alot better tonight then last Sun. I feel that the alcoholism is close by just waiting for me too get my guard down. 24 yrs at a time is all I ever have.
The steps, I feel, are tools for living not just a quick fix. I like having this website for the four days a week that I don't get to meetings. Also it's a way for me to share feeling completely relaxed.
I look forward to reading this weeks postings.
Member: Dave W.
Location: Boston MA
Time: 9:19:24 PM
I agree with both of you, complacency can be a real problem. Last summer I celebrated 6yrs of sobriety, this summer I received a 90 day chip. I forgot about the first step. My meetings tapered off, my contacts with other AA's did too. I justified this because I was working 2 jobs, and have a young child. I didn't make that extra effort to fortify ny sobriety. All I was doing was using up my reserve, so to speak. I had a crisis in my life last Dec., and my best thought was to pick up. Luckily, I didn't ruin my life. I am still married to the same woman, and still have the same job (the second job is gone). I have recommitted myself to my sobriety and have become active again in AA.
This is my first time at an online forum like this and am looking forward to everyones comments.
Member: Sam J
Time: 9:23:19 PM
Hi all! Alky here named Sam. I certainly agree with the two previous posts. I feel that complacency runs a close second to resentment as a cause of slips. I don't know what will help someone else but this works for me. I always try to remember that this is a lifetime journey and that I am not near the person that I need to be. I am lucky if I just make a tiny bit of improvement each day. Also, I realize that I haven't kept me sober. All I did was to surrender and my Higher Power has kept me sober. I have heard people say that they are proud that they are sober. I am not proud (because I didn't do it). However, I am eternally grateful to my Higher Power for my sobriety. I certainly could use a large helping of humility but the tiny bit that I have acquired helps to keep my ego under control. Thanks for letting me share and God bless each. Sam
Member: Meg W.
Location: New York
Time: 10:12:19 PM
Hi everyone, Meg here alcoholic. This is a great topic for me. I haven't been to meetings in a long time and my excuse is that I have two little ones. I'm so glad to have found this site and this topic. All my character defects are kicking back in. I've been using my reserve also but I know I'm probably heading in the wrong direction. So its time to get back. I definitely don't want to drink again. So thanks to everyone for sharing it was a big help.
Member: Nancy S.
Time: 10:57:00 PM
Hi Everyone, Nancy, alcoholic, Great topic. I'm suffering from complacency this weekend. I had good intentions to attend at least two meetings or more and didn't make it to any. I guess the excuse I'm using is my mother's death. She passed away two months ago. I'm feeling exhuasted and overwhelmed with life right now. So, I'm going to go easy on myself about missing the meetings and try again tommorow. But, it really is constant vigilance, if I want to keep this unmerited gift of sobriety, as the previous posts have also stated. Thanks for reading. Hi Dave, I'm from Boston too. Good luck to all and another 24 hours. Nancy
Member: Ken C
Location: Winnipeg, (Friendly Manitoba) Canada - eh!
Time: 12:36:57 AM
Great topic. Thought I'd start out by copying and pasting a dictionary definition. Here it is, sound familiar?
complacency (kem-plâ´sen-sê) noun 1. A feeling of contentment or self-satisfaction, especially when coupled with an unawareness of danger or trouble. 2. An instance of contented self-satisfaction.
Would you look at that! "Unawarness of danger or trouble." Geez isn't that indicitave of the insanity of our illness still being present with us!!??
Somehow, I was fortunate many years ago, because I feared complacency creeping in and leading me back to the bottle. On my last trip back to A.A. 23 years ago, I made a commitment to myself to go to 3 meetings a week, come hell or high water. Instead of planning meetings around my other activities, I turned it around and planned my other activities around meetings. So far it has worked. I can count (almost) on one hand the number of times I missed my three meetings. Each time was unavoidable. I don't think my ego ever dies. They say one of it's primary functions is to sustain itself - and I have caught it trying to do this many times. Actually I erred, it was not so much me that caught it, rather it was attendence at meetings where it was put back in it's place (wherever that is), through my re-commitment to practice principles I had become complacent about. From these exercises I learned that I never stand still. I am either regressing or progressing. When you think of it, complacency is simply another form of E.G.O. (Easing God Out). The consequences of this, is to the let the big "I" in - and the big "I" of this alcoholic gets thirsty both figuratively and literally. The way I now figure it - if A.A. meetings don't come first, then I won't. It's just that simple.
Love to all - Ken
Member: Dean S
Location: Phoenix, Az
Time: 3:37:58 AM
Hi! My name is Dean and I'm an alcoholic.
I must never allow myself the luxury of being complacent in working the steps. The 11th step is my favorite and I must work it daily. It is imperative that I know what God's will is for me each day, and I can receive the power to carry it out only by going to Him in prayer and meditation.
Thanks Sheri for a great topic. And I thank all for your love, and for my life. Dean
Member: Ashley G.
Time: 10:09:07 AM
Hi, I'm Ashley and I'm an alcoholic. Thank you everyone for your comments. This is the second time in since Saturday that this topic has come up in a meeting for me. I thought I'd share w/ you what went through my mind about this at the meeting Saturday.
When the topic was brought came up I thought, "Oh, no. I've let up on some things in the past few days. I better not start slacking off again. If I do, I'm gonna relapse. If I relapse, I may not make it back." So on and so forth, I started getting myself in a frenzy. Then someone shared and I was reminded of how hard I can be on myself at times. Yes, it's good that I've been reminded of what can happen if I rest on my laurels, but, it's not the end of the world. It does me no good to beat up on myself and feel guilty and shameful. The important thing is to stop feeling and get into ACTION. What can I do right now to work my program and do the things which are suggested to stay sober today. For me these are: go to a meeting, call my sponsor, pray, talk to sober people and read the Big Book. That's exactly what I did Saturday after the meeting and guess what... I stayed sober for that day :) Hope that was helpful. Thanks.
Member: tony g
Time: 11:34:08 AM
years ago i quit drinking on my own...that lasted 7 months.no spiritual change,no steps,just me running on mad willpower.i ended up getting arrested for drunk driving again. i had to get open minded,listen to what aa does for people,and let it happen to me.there has been a change in me,in everything i do...it's the power of a higher power(God).i know that i don't have anything, made in the shade,ever.so i work on this alcoholic constantly.i can't afford to think that ..ok i'm fixed,no more meetings..i like to feel content,but i know that complacent can ever so slowly be taking me away from what saved me.thats why everyday,i ask for help,every night i thank God, and i stick to the amount of meetings that are good for me.i try to use every tool out there to understand each tricky day in sobriety...this is one of them...i really like being sober,i can't afford to give all these good feelings i have away to booze....tony alcoholic
Member: Lyle S
Time: 12:20:35 PM
Hi, I'm Lyle and I am an alcoholic.
Good topic, complacency. I have learned in the few 24 hours that I have been around that if you want to be succesful in AA, you have to get in the middle of the bed. That is where the action is. I have been very involved in meetings. For a long time I was going to 12 meetings a week. I was blessed to work right across the street from Cleveland AA Central Office where they have noon meetings every day of the week. 5 "nooners" and 7 nights a week. After a while, I cut back to 9 a week. 5 and 4. Needed to spend some time with my family.
After about a year, my career got better and my boss trusted me enough to put me to work on the job sites which took me away from my noon meetings. Down to 4 evenings a week. Found myself steping up the evening meetings, but that started to wear on my family life. It has been a challange to stay active and stay balanced in my home life.
I know that if I am not sober, I will lose my family. I also know that if I am at meetings all the time, I will not have a family life as well. My challange has been to find balance and make enough meetings to remind me why I am here.
If I don't come around enough, I might convince myself that I am cured.
Meeting makers make it. Stay active. This is life or death!
Don't Drink. Go To Meetings. Clean House. Pray. Help Another Drunk. Work The Steps
Repeat as necessary.
Member: Tom S
Time: 1:07:45 PM
Hi all. I'm Tom and I am an alcoholic. The topic of Complacency is right on the money for me today. Very emotional too. I guess I've been in this self-flogging mode this morning. All weekend really. I've been a full time student, in addition to working full time, since last fall. I am also about a year and a half into a new (sober) relationship. Everything during this past year has consumed a lot of time such that my meeting attendance has really slipped. During my first year of sobriety I took all of the suggestions very seriously and made meetings everyday. Today, in my 3rd year, I'm down to about four per week. It's been four days since my last one. And I haven't spoken with my sponsor since then. I'm only taking one class this summer and have just moved in with my partner so I'm in the midst of trying to settle in. I was so busy all year. I'm tired. School depleted all of my energy. However, I don't think I would have made it if I hadn't been sober, been connected to a higher power, utilized a sponsor and at least one good friend in the program. Today and all weekend I had all good intentions of getting to a meeting. It was on my list of things to do. Unfortunately, the huge walk-in closet in my apartment took all afternoon and I had a couple of hours of homework to do among other things yesterday. I know that I should make my sobriety, making a meeting everyday, my priority and build my entire day around it. However, I've become complacent and simply too busy. My sponsor told me once that either I'm moving away from or toward a drink; if I make a meeting today I'm moving away from...Thus, today is not done. They also told me once that I can start my day over at any time. Thanks for letting me share. Tom
Location: The Beach, California
Time: 1:55:09 PM
I am JL and I am an alcoholic.
Complacency - Very good topic. I went away for the weekend to a place where I became complacent before and that time stayed drunk for two weeks. Yeah, for me new in sobriety with 77 days (like I'm not counting) complacency is the killer. When we arrived we went out to dinner, and as dinner was over I asked my wife and daughter to drop me off at a speaker meeting, 7 on Friday night. Good start. I met some folks that know my homegroup and I asked where is the first morning meeting. 7 on Saturday morning. OK a bit of a foundation is built for the weekend. For me exercise is a must, I meditate and recite the prayers while I walk, so I did that too. Also called my sponsor. We were out late on Saturday night and left early on Sunday. No meeting on Sunday. I did other actions to keep me sober and working my program. But today can't make a meeting because my wife is out of town and I have our child, from 6 last night to 9 tonight. So on the way to work I am feeling squirrely and haven't made my homegroup in 3 days. No big deal, right? Now I know that I must remember that I am powerless over alcohol, my life had become unmanageable. I dare not get complacent, I must do more. I have to read , pray, write in my journal, drink lots of water, and exercise. If I don't drink between meetings which will be from Saturday morning to Tuesday morning, I have a chance at another 24 hours.
Thanks for the Staying Cyber and the fellowship, I try to post once a week on each topic and I am blessed with other alcoholics that share here. Just reading what you have to say and writing a simple paragraph makes me feel so much better.
Member: Mike M.
Location: SE Wisconsin
Time: 2:12:09 PM
Hi everyone. Mike alki. i feel like complacency can easily become part of my daily life even in early sobriety. It's a balance issue. I am working the 3rd step right now and in deciding to turn my will and life over to the care of my HP I will sometimes overshoot the mark and feel like God is taking care of me and forget that I have to do the things on my end too that keep me sober and bring me closer to the kind of person God wants me to be. The great thing about the 3rd step for me is that I have realized that I want to be the kind of person that God wants me to be. Not only do Inot want to drink,but I also want to be the kind of person that is always there for other people in a kind caring and loving sort of way without selfish motives. If anyone has read the 24 hour book today the prayer for the day is exactly what I pray for today. I had a lawnmower accident yesterday serious enough that the FD had to get me out of it. No broken bones but I'm trying to figure it out. I think I'll use the day off to go to one of my favorite meetings that I haven't been able to go to since going on second shift. Love to you all and thank you for sving my life. mikeeee
Member: Mike V.
Location: Maple Valley, WA
Time: 4:14:08 PM
Hi everyone, my name is Mike I am an alcholic. We talked in a meeting last night about how easy is is to start working your program, instead of the program. Left to our own design, it can get easy to not do this, and not do that. I know its sometimes hard to find the balance between meetings and family, but without sobrity there may not be a famaily. My answer is more prayer. I need to stay in contact with the probelm, so I can become part of the solution. Thanks for letting me share. God bless and keep comming back.
Time: 4:52:40 PM
Wouter, alki, Netherlands, hello there.
tomorrow one year ago that i quit. now i do believe it. and i'am doing fine: first i counted the days, then weeks and mounths. i'll stop counting the weeks and months, and only count the years from now on. this is not being complacent because i know i'll have to be on guard for ever and not off guard, never. but i don't want to become paranoid for the bottle, its me and not a bottle i have to conquer.
this site is helping me enormously. thanks for that everybody out there. another thing helping me is a photograph my exgirlfriend took a few years ago: i look so terrible, drunk ans stoned and angry and well, yes, totally crazy in fact. I'AM NOT CRAZY. simply put: i don't want to be that person, i want to be me. so i am ( i think so i am !!! descartes i believe)
tonight i have been to aa meeting here in town, for the first time in 3 months, it was good to be there but i like this site better. i'll go there once a month from now on, but this site i want to visit daily. somehow i am not, from the begining in fact, a AAvisitor but i am an AAreader and AAwriter. I need the AA but on my own terms, acourding my character and preferences. do you think this makes me a bad believer ??? well, tastes differ as well as people, thank HP for that !!!
love you. be strong, take in your vitamines and do your workouts. bye
Member: John F.
Time: 7:43:22 PM
Hi Folks, I'm John alcoholic. Complacency is a great topic. I don't go to as many meetings anymore, usually one a week. I keep my complacency in check by practicing my disciplines I learned in treatment. For 10 and a half years I have kept a journal, onty missing when Iv'e been sick. I also, at the end of my journaling each nite write 6 things that I was grateful for during the day. I read something in AA liturature each nite, read 15 relapse symptoms given to me when in treatment, and utilize 3 meditation books. These things help remind me who I am, where I've been and where I want to go. Thanks for listening.
Member: Jack B
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Time: 3:18:27 AM
Hi I am Jack, a real alcoholic.Complaceny is a great topic, for me, it is real easy to slip back into my old ways.Sometimes during the course of a day, the only thing I can do is just not pick up the first drink. Happiness for me lays in the steps.I keep coming back for more of what you people have and I have been doing this for almost thirteen years of the greatest life I could ask for. Whenever I get complacent and think I know all the answers to AA and living sober, God and you wonderful people change the questions and I am brought back to stark reality of living the AA way one day at a time.I hope with Gods Grace to han around another twenty years or more, if then If I don't think its working maybe I will look for something else.God Bless all on our journey.
Member: charlie darling
Time: 8:28:24 AM
CHarlie a very grateful recovering alcholic. grat topic and I just want to say thank you to all that have shared you all have helped me to stay sober for one more day I love you all.
Member: Bill W
Time: 8:29:53 AM
Hi my name is Bill and I'm a alcoholic. Complacency is a great topic. I have just returned back to AA after being out of the program for 5 years. I had 10 years of sobriety and lost it through complacency. I quit attending my regular meetings and felt like I could do it myself. I realize now that if I want to be able to retain my sobriety that I will have to attend meetings and work the steps. Thank you for the topic.
Member: Donna M.
Time: 11:44:44 AM
Hi all Donna a recovering alcoholic here. I am somewhat complacent now. Its time to get to work on some steps in a different direction and its hard to get started. I think I will do as much as I can today and this will be good enough. Progress not perfection. Thanks.
Member: Kent W
Location: Houston, Tx
Time: 2:53:08 PM
Hi I'm Kent an alcoholic. I know what kind of disasters complancency spelled for me. I have to work the steps, call my sponser, and pray on a daily basis. Like Donna said progres not perfection. Thanks.
Member: Victoria H
Time: 5:01:10 PM
Hi-yes complacency can be a disaster...I lost 9 years of sobriety because I thought things were just swell. And it is very difficult to get back after being out there. Today is my second day sober, thank you for being there-God Bless-Victoria
Member: Tom m
Time: 5:34:53 PM
Hi-complacency kept me away from AA for six years,i'm back and I thank God and AA for being there.Today I have three days sober.
Time: 10:11:38 PM
I liked what John F. had to say. I too am hitting the 10 year mark and it seems that I am still doing those disciplines I was taught. I also write everyday and it helps tremendously. Complacency is not a big fear of mine and has never been. I was more afraid of self delusion. Which made me somewhat of a recovery addict. I have read every Aa And Alanon book available cos I am like a sponge wanting more insight into this fatal family disease. If you don't have anything to do try it. I have to say much as I regret to have to that the books do more than meetings today. I have found that alot of clubs have turned more towards social clubs that recovery. There are more dances, poetry readings, ice cream socials. jam sessions and picnics, camping trips and the like than step studies and inventory taking. I am not knocking these events but I have seen some obvious denial and distraction from the meat of this whole deal. I choose to keep my recovery a very serious matter and try not to mix it up today. I have seen folks who profess to no longer have fear of people end up hurt and disillusioned. I have seen others profess not having financial fear in bankruptcy court. Alot of folks in Aa and Alanon are there to show me how I do not want to be today or in the future. Please don't be one of these. There are enough today who end up back in the bottle out of fear of self examination. Take a good look at yourself and then look some more. Ask someone you are scared of to tell you what they see. And ignore the ones that tell you without being asked. It has been a long haul for me to get to this place ten years later. I will not lie. I was gravely affected by my drug and alcohol use. And my quest for self destruction was hard to look at. We will never know enough. Remember, remain teachable. Cos the learning never ends my friends. It is not what I don't know, but what I don't want to know that will get me....
"False optimism makes a poor parachute"
Member: Rick D.
Time: 10:36:08 PM
Complacency has kept me from ever doing anything about my drinking problem. Everytime I drink to much I say I'm going to quit. I don't drink all the time, just when I go partying with friends. My problem is, sometimes I don't stop drinking until I'm DUI. I know I have to stop drinking completely to control this. I was looking for an AA location in my city on the WEB tonight and saw this site. This is a great idea to see others comment any time during the week. I've been contemplating how to stop drinking. I think this will be a good place to begin action. I'm making a commitment to quit tonight. I would appreciate your support. I'm also going to find a place to attend AA meetings on a regular basis. I don't know much about the program but something has to change. Down and out in the Southeast.
Member: Gray S.
Time: 1:34:38 AM
I'm Gray and Im an alcoholic. So far I have not aborted my 2000 New Year's resolution to STOP drinking. I have not been to this meeting since January; what a coincidence that the topic is complacency. I think about having a drink most during social functions--like the 4th party.I almost convinced myself that I could have a beer and that would be that I recited over and overthe simple: ONE DRINK IS TOO MANY AND ONE HUNDRED IS NOT ENOUGH!I am sure that one drink (assuming I would have stopped at one) would have been the beginning of my old habit of 4-5 mixed drinks/night. Its good to be back; thanks for the support.
Location: Victoria Australia
Time: 9:33:35 AM
Hi to all my name is Bert.K.and a recovering alcoholic from Australia. I put the drink down on the 11th of August 1981 and I never want to forget what it was like and for that reason I have never taken a holiday from A.A. about 3 years ago I became somewhat complacent and my lovely wife again became a bitch and my kids didnt speak to me the way they used to,and as soon as I returned to working the program my wife became lovely again and my kids also changed for the better, I know that it was me that changed and they reacted . I go to regular A.A. meetings to remind me that I need to go to A.A. meetings,and I love it. Complacency will kill. I love you all and God Bless this site. Thank you. BERT.K.
Time: 11:23:45 AM
Hi Family Charlie a very grateful recovering alcholic, boy we do hear what we need to hear, and I thank all of you for your shares. My meetings have been only about 5 in the past 3 mos, but I have not had a drink over it, as the meetings I get through are the ones here at staying cyber. I do speak to my sponsor at least once a week, but being where I live at the moment I can"t call only in town, but also with the computor I have been able to stay as close to the program as I can, as I also have transportation problems. I have also been emailing to other fellow alcholics I have met through this sight. I just want to say thank you for getting me through another day of staying sober, and being grateful, as I once heard in the beginning A grateful Heart is A Sober Heart. And to Tom remember prioities yourelf comes first, last and always. Thats why we stay tuned to AA Hope I made sense but then I am an Alcholic Love you all Charli
Member: Kimie W.
Location: Oak Harbor, WA
Time: 11:32:35 AM
Hi my name is Kimie, and well I've never been to this website before or anything. Honestly I haven't even read what you are discussing right now. I'm at work at this time being-I'm in the NAvy and we are deploying to Las Vegasa to work with the Air Force in a couple of weeks. I only have 41 days sober. I was hoping someone from there might be able to get in touch with me now, so I can hook up with a ride--
Member: Kimie W.
Location: Oak Harbor, WA
Time: 11:40:56 AM
This is Kimie again-my eamil address is: email@example.com I really appreciate any help anybody can give me! Thank you
Location: South Jersey
Time: 12:42:54 PM
Hi, DaveZ here.. I just got back into the rooms after a month in detox and rehab. Complacency got me out there again... This time, I'm going to fill my life with God and AA and spend more time with my wife and kids. I'm greatful to God and my friends and family who have stuck behind me through this "insane" time. Thanks!
Time: 1:29:56 PM
Hi, Michele alk and addict. this is a great topic..must be in the air or something. Rick from the southeast..you gotta watch that binger stuff because you can always get more down and outer than you feel now. I do the same thing occasionally and I feel embarrased that it becomes then so easy to release my self into the hands of my addiction instead of into the hands of my faith. I have to constantly remind myself that I have faith and sometimes my HP has mutiple personalities and I have to use someone at a meeting something or a concept given to me in this meeting and probably most often I use the memory of my last hangover to keep me from taking the drink. I gotta go to a meeting myself tonight-this really got me thinking. Thanks you all, I think I got the next 24 hours out of it. .
Member: Olilver S
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Time: 2:22:22 PM
Hi I'm Oliver and I'm an alcoholic and a drug addict. This is my first time at this sight and it seems pretty cool. I'm glad the topic is Complacency because it reminds me that I have to finish my fourth step. I'm about two thirds of the way done. Each day gets better for me being sober. I have about 40 days. The reason why I'm on the fourth step so soon is because I had about six months before a short but intense relapse while visiting family in England. My sponser suggested that I keep up with the fourth step instead of dancing the "three step waltz" as he calls it. Well it's time to turn it over and staart working! Peace
Member: Mary G.
Location: Upstate NY
Time: 2:27:09 PM
Hi, I'm Mary and I'm an alcoholic. The best way for me to get out of any sort of complacency mode is attend rehab or detox center meetings. I need the reminders that this disease KILLS people. And if I am being complacent, it's because I've forgotton this. And when I do remember that I'm going to die if I drink...well, all of a sudden I seem to find time for a meeting. My sponsor reminds me that whenever I put something else ahead of my sobriety, I will lose my sobriety AND whatever it is was that I put first. Thanks for the topic.
Member: Michael L
Location: Youngstown, Oh.
Time: 4:16:57 PM
Hi. My name is Michael and I'm an alcoholic. Getting complacent is easy for me to do, especially when things are going good. And those are the times I should be most grateful. It sometimes seem the "better" I feel, the closer my disease looms. Its the little things that can lead to big disaster: forgetting your daily meditation, starting to put meetings aside, not keeping in contact with other AA's, and forgetting to use the Big Book. I must remember that it is only a daily reprieve, contingent on my spirituality. There are four things I must remember to stay away from complacency: pray, go to enough meetings, be willing to stick your hand out to the newcomer,and stay openminded so I can learn. And never forget your last drink.
Member: wild bill
Time: 7:48:17 PM
hi mary g./upstate ny
i used to live in cinnaminson n.j.but to many niggers started moving into the neighborhood and we couldnt kill them fast enough.we finally left that east ivory coast.full of cubans and puertoricans waps and spooks as we used to call them.now all the damn wetbaacks are taking over. us white folk[you aint a nigger are you?] need to stick together and kill em all.
Time: 8:33:07 PM
Hi friends..........except for the person(?) right above me.......who obviously isn't complacent.
But it seems like the topic is about members of Alcoholics Anonymous being complacent in their sobriety, so that's what I'll comment about.
I've been sober a few 24 hours and was taught that yesterday's prayers won't help me today and that's why I must keep today in focus. I don't kow that I'd have "reserves" as mentioned already. Besides, attending meetings and living life on life's terms, keeping myself fit to serve God and my fellow man are enough to keep me busy! I'm so grateful this is something I'm privileged to do. If I got what I deserved, I'd have been flushed a long time ago.
I was also taught that people who make it back after drinking again can teach me a valuable lesson and that I should listen to them. All of you have a great message!! Don't rest on your laurels! That message is aimed directly at me and I'm grateful to all of you for my sobriety. And welcome back! Love to all,,,,,,,, Carolyn
Member: Jean C.
Time: 8:37:46 PM
Hi, I'm Jean & I'm an alcoholic. To Rick D. from Southeast--my thoughts will be with you as you go for Day 1. I spent the last year saying I was going to quit drinking--and then picking up the glass because I didn't want to quit THAT night. I always wanted to quit the next week. And then a couple times a week I'd wake up with that hangover and say, "This time I'll really stop!" But finally, one day, with help from all these wonderful people in AA and from my HP, I did stop--and now I have 59 days of sobriety! I can see how complacency is a big problem though! Life is so much better sober, and it is very easy to forget that, as an alcoholic, the bad times that I hated are only one drink away. But if you honestly work the twelve steps and go to meetings, a sober life is possible, and it is really SO much better than life was with alcohol. Thank you all for making this possible.
Time: 9:07:28 PM
DEAR WILD BILL FROM I-DA-HO-YOUDEPIMP......I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU TONITE-YOU'RE ON THE WRONG PAGE BUDDY-IT'S NOT WORKING!! LB.
Location: alias carlosi.d.ho.juan
Time: 9:25:05 PM
LB.? whats that stand for?.....large butt.
Time: 1:40:50 AM
recomendamos precaucion cuando despues de caminar en piso liso,se pare en alfombra u otros pisos estables!
pablos en meigel
Time: 1:51:51 AM
i threw up i think it was part of my liver or lung or something,real red and chunky looking,really gross to say the least,a chunk about 3x3in. its on the kitchen floor,i was going to put it in a plastic bag and bring it to the medical center with me,but when i turned around the dang cat ate it.i wonder what it was? rufas
Time: 3:40:23 AM
Carlos and all of your alias, please read the message to you from Serious in the coffee pot.
Time: 1:27:42 PM
"Complacency 'against' me has been!" [Let me stop right there;] for here in is the complacency I want to bring out that I hear in AA. Every one says: "For me it's been this, and for me it's been that," when in fact what they say has rather been against them, not for them! How is it that everything we say has happened, is for us? Is there nothing in this life that has been against us! Such complacency. Or is it a false optimism that blinds us, that we so often defend a world that is against us in so many ways?
What most people mean to say is rather 'in my case it's been thus and thus' but to say for me for me for me all the time is a falsehood and a complacency in that we often do not accept the bitter truth of our lives, and it hasn't been for us at all. Who buys a beer and then can't drink it for fear and goes about saying it's been for me? Surely it's been against us this trend of prohibition if we were willing to admit it. So let us turn to God and forsake the world and live as he would have us to do, all things work together for good to those who love God and keep his word, not so with the world, so when we are wrong let us promptly admit it.
Member: KC D.
Location: Seattle, WA
Time: 3:41:13 PM
Hi there, I am KC and if you look up alcoholic in the dictionary, there I am. I have never been here before but I need to be. May 31st of 1995 I had my last drink......well, until September of 1999, and then it's just been relapse after relapse. I am in a really bad place right now. Obviously I suffered from the hubris of complacency, thinking I had this thing licked, ya know? I am meeting w/ a D&A counselor tonight - I cannot believe I am right back where I started from in 1995. They're not joking when they say this stuff is life or death.....
Member: Dave H
Time: 5:42:16 PM
Thanks for the topic. I appreciate all entries but I was really hit by Ken C from Manitoba's offering. I haven't been making AA and God the center of my life which everything else should revolve around. AA has at least up unto the last few weeks been the center of my life. How I have forgotten that alcohol, fear, guilt, and remorse where once the components of the center. Recently I have fallen prey to the "too busy commuting and work profile. Whew, you guys have saved me again. I'm off to a meeting pronto. Everything else (for me) should revolve around real life meetings and 12 Step work with others. Thanks again Dave
Member: Pam C.
Time: 5:46:54 PM
Pam, alcoholic. For (KC), please come back and try A.A. again, you are loved and always welcome. When I looked up alcoholic in my 1938 dictionary as you did, it said someone with excessive use of alcohol. When I look up the word alcoholic in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous in the Doctor's Opinion pps. xxvi para. "We believe..." it tells me we have an allergy to alcohol and the phenomenon of craving.
I thought that I was weak willed and stupid, but here it tells me I am sick and have an allergy to alcohol. If I can stay away from the first drink and go to meetings in between, I have a shot at this deal.
If you do decide to come back, try it A.A.'s way this time KC, it really works. Get a sponsor. Ask your H.P. to put the right person in your path to help you work the steps. The steps are the solution and will lead you to a power greater than yourself to keep you sober. I believe you want help and there is no coincidence you logged on to join us. Keep up your courage and come on back, we will be waiting for you with open arms. Try different meetings until you feel at home.
One of the ways I avoid complacency is keeping in contact with newcomers, going to Step meetings and Big Book meetings and getting involved in some type of service; cleaning up or volunteering to work a few hours at a convention or assembly. I meet so many wonderful people that way. But, the first sign I am getting complacent (I still can cause I'm not cured) is I get real comfortable and start to cut back on my A.A. routine. Fortunately for me, I get uncomfortable real fast and my thinking starts to stink. RED FLAG! I call someone and the say, "Get your butt to a meeting."
Best wishes to all who share here.
Member: JACQUES KEANE
Location: LONDON ENGLAND
Time: 6:08:17 PM
A VISION FOR WHO ? Just who is it that benefits from the sinister breakaway group calling itself A VISION FOR YOU...these people are both unhelpful and unfaithful to the ethos of A.A. and ought to disband and return to the fold.Many members have been misled by listening to these Charlatans and some have ended up pissed.REMEMBER OUR PRIMARY PURPOSE...
Time: 7:19:37 PM
As for this topic complacence, I wonder how long we will stay on it!?
Member: Steve L
Location: N Indiana
Time: 8:50:57 PM
Hi everyone, Steve, alcoholic. Good topic. Just went to meeting about step 10 and this also fits right in with maintaining program. It is easy for me to not see the forest from the trees when I get caught up in details of life. I appreciate the reminder and this group.
Member: Tom S.
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Time: 10:09:37 PM
Hi-- Tom S. here. I have been sober for over 4 and 1/2 years and this past year, my program..especially my attendance at meetings has really slid. I do feel very complacent..but I am also scared...I know that I am not that far away from my old alcoholic self. Thanks for the topic...I guess sometimes you just don't want to be an alcoholic 24 hours a day..7 days a week...but I know I am and that it is a good thing. Thanks for listening.
Member: Corinne B.
Location: Camino, CA
Time: 10:32:42 PM
Complacency is a topic I can definitely relate to! I had to prove the hard way that complacency is very dangerous for this Alkie! I got very complacent after about my 3rd year sober, and I think the only reason I even stayed sober another 3 years that time was because I had a goal to reach of finishing paralegal school. However, once I made it, I never picked back up the mtgs I had stopped going to while in night school. Without the school to go to at night, or the mtgs, I eventually decided I needed something to do with my nights, and I went back to drinking!
All I know is that every experience the founders of this Fellowship & Program talk about in the literature is true & I hope I don't have to go around proving it for myself anymore!
Time: 11:55:29 PM
Hi Pam alcoholic, a friend of mine in AA/ sponser...called me at work today and told me that complacenty was the topic of your discussion meeting. I haven't been to this site in a very long time. I really liked the dictionary meaning. Yes, I do become complacent after 15 years sobriety....I pulled up to my regular Friday night meeting last week,-- early and decided since no one was there yet I would go home. I also can sit in meetings and be complacent about working the steps, program, etc. Sooooooooooooo I better pray for the willingness, ask for Gods will in my life, do the work, or as I can tell from reading several of the posts I am in Danger or Trouble of drinking, or of stupid old behaviors and then drinking..."coupled with unawareness" LOL Thanks gd my friend in AA and also those who shared about being complacent.
Member: CATHY D.
Time: 1:34:04 AM
AS FOR COMPLACENCY, I NEVER HEARD ANYONE SAYY THEY GOT DRUNK, BECAUSE THEY WENT TO TOO MANY MEETINGS. ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE GIVE BACK WHAT HAS BEEN FREELY GIVEN TO YOU I HAVE BEEN SOBER EIGHT YEARS, AND HAVE FOUR CHILDREN, I CAN GET IN THE RUTT OF BEING TOO BUSY, TO GO TO MEETINGS. BUT I WAS TOLD EARLY ON THAT THERE ARE ONLY THREE TIMES YOU NEED TO GO, 1. WHEN YOU WANT TO 2. WHEN YOU DONT WANT TO AND 3. WHEN YOU ARE NOT SURE DENIAL: DONT EVEN KNOW I AM LYING! BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF, AND REMEMBER THAT IN ORDER TO BE GOOD TO YOURSELF, IT MEANS DOING SOMETHING FOR YOU, AND THAT IS SHARING. GET INVOLVED, WE STOOD AT THE TURNING POINT AND ASKED HIS PROTECTIN WITH COMPLETE ABANDON. GOOD LUCK , COMPLACENT. CATHY D TUCSON, ARIZONA
Member: Chris W
Location: Spokane, WA
Time: 4:09:06 AM
The first two years of sobriety I remembered to do what I needed to do each day. It is harder now. I have a set 3-4 meetings per week thank God, because I get reminded of what I need to do. Connect with other drunks. I see more miracles now than I ever did drinking. Small things! My kids are asleep and I love this web site it's new to me...good stuff Thanks Chris W in Spokane
Member: Dan G.
Time: 2:56:49 PM
Dan here, an alcoholic.
Sheri, nice topic, it was good for me to hear thoughtful words of advice about getting to FTF meetings. Carla, there is an answer, if you want to live make it to real meetings with real people, you don't have to go it alone.
Sober blessings to all!
Member: Angie M
Time: 3:27:52 PM
HI- Angie, alcoholic. I have read through all the comments and I am so glad I decided to come here today. Your comments have helped me to not be complacent today. My sponsor has been sick, so I haven't been working the steps like I should. It is good to have a contigency plan, such as this site, to back me up when things get a little off center. I too have found that life seems to get too busy for meetings sometimes. It is then that I need to remember that without the fellowship of the meetings and the grace of my HP that I would not have a quality life. We all must strive to make our lives revolve around the meetings. There is nothing more important than the next 24 hours of staying sober. It is the will of my HP for me to be the best person I can be and I cannot do that without the support of the fellowship I have found in AA. Complacency has caused me to slip more that once. I am determined, that with the grace of my HP, I will not let that happen again. To those who are just beginning the journey- it starts today. Just stay sober today. Don't worry about tomorrow. In the morning say "please" to YOUR HP for another 24 hours of sobriety. And tonight say "thank you" for a day of sobriety. You are in my thoughts and prayers. YOU CAN DO THIS with the help of AA and the twelve steps. Keep the faith. Ang
Member: Lynn I.
Time: 3:39:35 PM
Hello, I'm Lynn, alcoholic. I have been complacent about my sixth step. I don't know what it is that I am unable to let go. My sponsor is on me about not getting this done. I have drank recently and still go to meetings every day, but don't talk about the slips. I have to work this program every day or I drink. I once put together 15 months of sobriety and it was the best time of my life. I am chasing that feeling of complete surrender to my HP, but can't seem to get it back. I need to tell my sponsor and my home group about my slip...for now, this is a start. I truly know that I am an alcoholic and don't want to ever drink again. I love this fellowship - thank you.
Member: Katie N
Time: 4:29:28 PM
Hi My nane is Katie alcoholic I dont think I've been sober long enough to be complacent. Right now everything is new and Im learning a new way to live and cleaning up alot of wreckage. I have 70 days today. I go to alot of meetings everyday in fact where Im reminded again by the newcommers newer than myself that the only thing out there for me is more of the same. I try to talk to those newcomers as well as the people with alot of time, such as my sponsor because what I know is that we all only have this 24hrs based on the maintence of our spirituality and concience contact with a higher power. I dont ever want to forget what it was like or ever forget the day I finally admitted I was an alcoholic. Thanks for listening and Gods blessings to all of you
Time: 6:56:33 PM
Yesterdays drink didnt keep me drunk, so why should I think yesterdays participation in recovery or yesterdays prayer could keep me sober. If you stay in the solution and participate in your sobriety on a daily basis how could you stay complacent in the face of Gods daily works for you. If your feeling complacent go on a 12 step call or reach out to a newcomer. Brings ya back to basics. Another 24 hours to us all.
Time: 9:40:50 PM
Hi everyone. I'm Donna and I'm and alcoholic. Complacency is so good to hear about. I just wanted to share that if I keep AA first in my life then life seems to be so good. I find myself more grateful, content, peaceful, able to be a friend and help others, more faithful and less fearful. When I get into the ruts of complacency, it is usually because I cut back on meetings---other things become more important---and I'm not taking care of myself and slack off on working the steps. Then a week or so goes by and I wonder why I'm feeling like crap. I was told that whatever I put before AA will be taken away eventually. I think that's why meeting makers make it. My sponsor has over 15 yrs. and still makes lots of meetings and balances the program w/ work and family. She's a great role model for me. She says keep it simple and if you stick to the basics, you'll never have to go back to them. I was at a meeting the other night and someone was sharing that this is an action program and that God moves mountains---but bring a shovel. Thanks to all.
Member: Brian B.
Location: TampaBay, Florida
Time: 12:10:06 AM
I get complacent when I forget that the "fellowship" of alcoholics annonymous is not a substitute for the "program" of alcoholics annonymous. The meetings are great and I love the warmth and sense of belonging they give me, but it's working the 12 steps (all of them) and not just talking about them at meetings that keeps me sober today. The cocoon of the meetings made it easy for me to stop at step 3 slowly slide backward for a year. My HP let me "white-knuckle it" till I was either going to drink again or get on with the program. Facing the ghosts of the past when working Step 4 and 5 did more for my long term sobriety than any meeting every has. The Big Book is the same way...the first 144 pages is where I find the program and the rest is the entertainment section. I'm grateful for BOTH The Program and The Fellowship. Keep it green!
Location: West Michigan
Time: 1:19:57 AM
Hi - I'm Jeff and I am alcoholic.
Complacent, yes, at times. I just got back from a short bussiness trip to Vancouver and was reminded of what complancency can bring. I was ready for a normal landing (stretching out my imaginary landing gear reaching for the ground). We were about 50 feet above the runway when the engines roared and the plane took back off like a shot. There really was a moment when I was sitting there in a big ass machine made of alumninum held together with screws and bolts. The pilot came on and said a plane was still on the runway. We got another veiw of Detroit as the sun was setting and the surrounding fields and waters were greener and bluer on the 2nd final approach.
There was specualation in the cabin that the flaps had not been down and/or the landing gear was not down. Whatever the glitch, on the ground or with the plane, I am glad to be sober and in my apartment tonight.
I don't feel complacent now but this too shall pass. Sloth is a character defect that the program has given me tools to work on. Focusing on where I can be the most useful seems to be the key for its removal from me. I'm not running the show all the time like I used to and its a Good/God/Life thing. It's all thanks to you all- Thanks for being here and showing up at the face to face meetings too.
Time: 2:48:53 AM
I'm Chuck, an alcoholic
When I came into AA I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.
By doing the steps I have had a spiritual awakening. I do not want to go back to the old misery. Complacency is not part my world.
Just as I have to eat daily for my body, sleep for my mind I MUST pray for my spirit. I have practiced Step 11 at least night and morning for over 15 years.
I hope that all members come to realize how important this attitude is. When I stop eating I will consider to stop praying.
Peace and Serenity
Member: Jeff H.
Time: 4:53:42 AM
Hi folks, I'm an alcoholic and my name is Jeff. I've been struggling for 12 years but I believe I've finally got the program. I was one of those hard cases who thought I didn't need all of A.A. only what was easy and non-committal. Today I believe that only through a total surrender to this simple but but not easy program can I stay sober a day at a time. Complacency=relapse. thanks
Time: 9:26:54 AM
Rhonda K, small world.....I'm in L'derry. You must mean the 10am meeting at the Freindship Ctr. I usually make the First Light of Day at 6:30 am in Manchester...for us truly wound-up Morning People. Complacency was when 18 mo. ago I was explaining to my sponsor how I had a hard time getting to meetings because of work, family, home projects, etc. and now at 10 yrs. sobreity I was getting the next step of spirituality through my Christianity...and he said I ought to pick up 90 mtgs. in 90 days. So a few weeks later I had an accident, and I was so upset at myself, my throat felt like Dewars on the rocks. Nobody in the neighborhood that I was freindly with would have had it, not that I asked. Called my sponsor and he said you ought to get 90/90. So I started. At one of the FLOD mtgs. I heard a guy about my age say after a few years sobriety he couldn't get to as many meetings, he was busy with work, etc. and was practicing his religion....AND HE WENT OUT AND DRANK!!!. There but for the Grace of God was ME. So I planned my days around meetings, and found lunchtime meetings in Haverhill and Lawrence, and early morning meetings weekends, and never missed a beat with work, family, home projects, etc. Still go to some of them. Also I came to a better understanding of the spirituality of Christianity as well....I never caught on to the meaning of Galatians 5:16-26 in church, but AA revealed it to me, a stubborn drunk!! Also picked up a bit of humor/wisdom: Q. Know the difference between your sponsor and a terrorist? A. You can negotiate with a terrorist!
Stay focused, and sober, all, Don
Member: Dawn J.
Location: Muskogee, OK
Time: 2:38:24 PM
I to am at some sort of stuck point. I have one year sober and have lost my willingness to do anything. I know I dont want to relapse I want to go to meetings, but I cant make myself work the steps or do anything my sponcer suggests I do.Sometimes I think maybe becouse I got a year I have got my act togeather and have nothing to fear. I realize this is not so and if I dont take care of myself I can lose what I have. But even though I know this I do nothing about it. Well thats where Im at. This is my first time to write here. Iv heard alot about it. Its easy to speak my mind.
Member: Theresa S
Location: Des Moines, Iowa
Time: 6:24:19 PM
I am new here. I just found the site. And I am so thankfull that I did! This topic is a little beyond me, I am just now working on my fourth step. I am complacent about nothing at this point! I have only been sober for three months, my three month birthday will be this coming Thursday!
I thank you all for sharing your words! I see a lot of years of sobriety here with some of you! I hope that I can read and learn!
Member: Roy S.
Time: 7:15:28 PM
Complacency is indeed a good topic. I have been in the program a little over two years and it gets easy to think, "Hey, I've got this thing licked", from time to time. Of course, it is a very short time until someting reminds me that I am not in control as much as I think. I just keep trying to work the steps and pray to my HP as much as possible, and hopefully everything will work out. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Michael B.
Time: 11:57:30 PM
Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome newcomers! Thanks everyone for sharing!
Yes, great topic, Sheri! Complacency is something which I need to always be aware of. And the problem of complacency reminds me of how much I need to be in God's Graces and active in the Fellowship in order to stay sober.
Thanks to the webmaster and the other AA's who created this site, I have been given another opportunity to avoid complacency. Thank you!
Time: 1:04:49 AM
That was a way cool subject Sheri, It got alot of us thinking about how we can shuffle off into thinking about the way our brains think when left to their own automatic device. I really got so much from it/ y si Pablo (de la) todos de las escaleras existan para subrir y caminar. Vamanos. I look forward to next week and the next twenty cuarto horas.
Member: Nancy A
Time: 2:48:37 PM
Hi! Everyone. I know exactly where you all are coming from. I cut back my meetings to only one a week. I had just moved. I was busy with that and enjoying the move. The first I had ever moved because I just wanted to for me. Not to run from my family, to a boyfriend, from a boyfriend, and etc. I was sooooo happy and content. I was able to hang out with my friends from the outside more. Because, you know I had it together. Right.
Alas...in a weeks time the following happened.
My aunt died, I pulled a group of muschles in my shoulder and damaged my rotater thingy. I am an avid workout person. The idea of not working out completely was earth shattering. Then, a co-worker called me crazy because I am in recovery. Oh, and some other choice thing. And, I met my sister's boyfriend. OK. My sister, whom is not divorced yet. She has only been separated for a short time. The topic of discussion was the Universal theme of sex. Beer was everywhere. It was hot. They, my sister and her new found lost love,(yeah right) were talking about leaving the state and finding new lives. I was about to die. I have two nieces too. Where were they going? I began to freak. I wanted so badly to feel the coldness of that iced beer bottle against my face and then the cold smooth liquid down my throat. I put my head in my hands. And, somehow by the Grace of God, I began to move. I moved toward the door with my belongings and said I had to go. That was My Higher Power not me. I was on the brink of losing it.
Therefore, yes, complacency is attached to a foreboding catastrophic event ready to make its appearance. Without the tools of the program, I would had been sucked right back into my active alcoholism. But, I had the tools from AA and my Faith in My Higher Power. I did not even have to ask. It was there. I am open 24/7 for that guidance. Always.
Yes, I went to 2 more meetings this week and plan to go to more next week. I got in touch with several good AA girlfriends and talked. Talked and talked. Complacency can be good yet if you are weak from incidents or taking a break from a once diligent program, it can be what takes you over the edge.
Thanks for letting me share.
I have come to believe a Power greater than myself can restore me to sanity.
Member: Bruce A.
Time: 3:28:10 PM
Hi you all, Bruce A. an alcoholic. Complacencey can get me in trouble if I let it effect the AA program I am working. I have gone to at least 2 or 3 meetings aweek ever since Ihave been sober. That has been one day at time for almosty 17 yrs. Two times I missed going to a meeting for over a week Once when I had the flu and bronchitis and once early in my sobriety whenI didn't know any betterI have been in contact with AA or recovering people every day since 9-10-83. It helps me stay sober and live life to the fullest. I hope I never get too complacent an forget where my second chace on life has come from. Love You All Bruce A.
Member: Sheri F
Location: Beautiful, sunny Portland, OR
Time: 5:03:47 PM
Hi Sheri here, Thanks for all of your postings, it just re-enforced my program one more week. I was not going back out (pride won't let me ha ha) but I knew I wa putting grief work, new puppy, re-modeling the house, poor health, return of my daughter after 11 yrs, and buying a BRAND NEW puterwith a 17 in. screen as I am losing my eye-sight. No matter what happens in my life, it isn't worth drinkings over. Praying YES!!! Again thanks for your words of encouragement. I love you and MY God loves you too.
Member: Karen C.
Time: 9:42:06 PM
Happy Birthday to me! I am 37 years old today and it's the first sober birthday in my adult life. Sober wishes to all!
Time: 9:57:14 PM
Happy Birthday Karen!!!It's my birthday also.I just made it 51` years,3rd sober bd.,only by the grace of god.It's great to be alive and sober.
Location: North Carolina
Time: 10:47:09 PM
Hi My name is Jonathan and I am also an alcoholic.. All comments I have read have just made me realize I am not alone and I can do anything if I set my heart to it. Thank all of you for the support and honesty you all sets forth I know know I can remain sober to.
Member: Rhonda K.
Location: Derry, n.h.
Time: 11:13:28 PM
Hi Rhonda, Alcoholic. Hiya, Don. Yes I was at the Friendship Ctr. today. Great meeting as always. I';m waiting for this weeks topic. I'll check again tomorrow. The topic of complancency prompted me to check out from the library "relapse Traps" Same advice don't drink, go to meetings, ask for help. Never take sobriety for granted. Thanks
Member: Heather H
Location: Seattle Washington
Time: 11:16:26 PM
Hi - I'm Heather and I'm an Acoholic.
I've been sober now for 48 hours. If I wouldn't have picked up that drink 9 months ago I would have 6 years sobriety. Complacencey plays a big part when you get a few years under your belt. I have learned to never let my guard down. No matter how many years you have it is never over. You can never relax and believe you have this thing conquered. Once you do it will conquer you. Here's to another 24 hours and by the grace of God another 5 years and more! One day at a time - I know.
I'd also like to give thanks to the online meetings. My world revolves around computers and it's nice to have my safe haven in cyber land also.