Member: Enquiring Minds
Location: Want To Know
Date: 7/2/00
Time: 1:26:35 PM

Comments

Gee, am I the first one here. Letmesee...how about we discuss pink clouds. I am so sick of everybody telling how wonderful sobriety is. Bullshit! If it were that wonderful why in the hell did you take up drinking like a fish in the first place?


Member: KELLY  J.
Location: TAMPA,FL.
Date: 7/2/00
Time: 1:27:20 PM

Comments

AM I THE FIRST ONE HERE? OK. HOW ABOUT MEDICATIONS.

KELLY J.


Member: Sheri F
Location: portland, OR
Date: 7/2/00
Time: 1:33:31 PM

Comments

Hi, Sheri F, alki. Looks like I'm the first one here this morning. Have we discussed the willingness to go to ANY lenght for our soberity? If not, why not. I had to be willing to give up my job, family, home, cars in the drive, and dishonesty to learn the steps that would same my life. Thank heavens for AA. If you don't like the topic, feel free to change it. Love and prayers, Sheri


Member: Georgiana
Location: Toronto
Date: 7/2/00
Time: 2:41:01 PM

Comments

Hi everyone, Georgiana, alcoholic, here....

Oh boy, we have *three* different topics on the go here! I'm going to go with the first, and we'll see what happens.

Why did I start drinking in the first place? I dunno if I'll ever be able to fully answer that question, but as far as the coping-with-life angle goes, I had no clue how. And instead of finding out, I drank... until I was so close to total self-destruction that I reached out for anything, and found AA. Life is not easy - that much is a given, for me at any rate. But having some tools for dealing with it makes it a heck of a lot more bearable than it used to be. I've personally never had a 'pink cloud'; sobriety has been quite a struggle. But it has been worth it a thousand times over, because even the rough spots are better than when I was drinking.

Just what it's been like for me.

Cheers,

Georgiana


Member: jenifer d
Location: canadian
Date: 7/2/00
Time: 3:42:46 PM

Comments

Georgiana, you've said it all! I feel that the more time that goes by, not drinking, the easier it's getting to deal with lifes problems. I think that if other folk who aren't alcoholics and have no idea about the steps could try to live as we are trying and use those steps in their lives for issues other than drinking they would cope better with lifes problems too. Pink Clouds haven't been a part of my recovery so I'm interested to see what follows this week. Have a good week everyone....


Member: MaRY w.
Location: kansas.. (k.i.s.s.)
Date: 7/2/00
Time: 4:01:24 PM

Comments

pink clouds, meds, and willing to go to any length.

meds.... will as long as my M.D. knows about my addiction to alcohol and narcotics.. and the doctor feels it is needed, then go for it. if you do it for the buzz, not good... but, if you use it for a medical problem... go for it... personally, i wouldn't turn down morphine right before surgery. ER, NO DRUGS DOC, JUST GIVE ME A MIRROR SO I CAN SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOIN'... to macho for me. sounds like stieff to me.

pinkclouds... i remember those.. the feeling of well being.. of realizing there was a H.P. and i wasn't it! and then i came down... and got jealous of the on their own p.c. and then realized it was time to keep working on my program. pink clouds have their place in recovery... if it were not for my pink cloud time.. i don't know if i would have made it through my first year.

willing to go to any length... what ever it took and takes to stay clean and sober... i went to hell to get my booze and drugs.. how can i do any less to stay sober.

nuff said... send my love to all the old A.T.T.T. CROWD and all the rest too. my email is kissnks@yahoo.com


Member: K. B.
Location: Arkansas
Date: 7/2/00
Time: 4:19:48 PM

Comments

Hello, K. here and alcoholic. Sometimes I feel grateful, and that's progress. Sober about a year and a half.

I never saw the 'pink cloud' either. Things went from looking always darker to getting brighter longer for more of the time. Related to medications, I struggled with suicidal depression, for no particular reason I could figure, from 12 yrs till I began taking meds at 28 in the last years I was drinking. I just spent three months off the meds, thinking I might could get along better now that I am sober and have learned better coping skills through the program,... but I have just been getting farther and farther away from reality and getting less and less able to think clearly or connect with others, and then more and more sad underneath everything. I don't know why. But the meds seem to help me. They don't make me happy, I get no high from them... but they seem to keep me from always being stuck in a half-empty glass that is leaking. They enable me to see that the glass is half-full and then get on with what is before me to do. So I'm going to take them again. I wish I could otherwise, but I don't seem able to, yet.

Going to any lengths... I had/have to give up a lot also. Not so much material stuff, but ideas about who I am, certain emotional attachments and relationships, sex, --because they were all things I had formed from a very sick place in me that I am trying to leave behind. And picking up that key and opening me to trusting, trying to trust, that if I let go of the sick stuff, I might somehow learn what health is... something I don't know anything about really.

It gets better more of the time the more I am sober and stay in the program. I feel like I have a chance to make my life work, to be there for those I love,... and I had nothing and was no good for anybody and it was only getting worse as far as I could see just a year and half ago. I have hope now. Thank You.


Member: Ken C
Location: Winnipeg, (Friendly Manitoba) Canada - eh!
Date: 7/2/00
Time: 5:00:23 PM

Comments

Good topics -- I have gone through just being dry where life was the shits, then back to drinking, then stopped - only to go up on that pink cloud where all was "just marvellous". That was my "something for nothing" stage. Finally, the reality stage hit. Once again at that stage, life sucked. But this time, I paid attention to statements from others such as: "Emotional turmoil preceeds emotional serenity." and "A price had to be paid. We don't get over our self-centerdness, self-seeking, and selfishness - overnight."

The joy we so often hear people talking about no doubt can be from bieng on the pink cloud (always temporary) or from those who finally became willing to pay the price. If someone is down on this, it is understandable. Joy in the face of misery, can seem like smiling as you tell someone his child has died. Neither misery or happiness are wrong in the right place. But if understanding and empathy come first, we will be concentrating on what is really important.

My only experience with meds was a period of being on valium. That ended in going back to drinking. I remember thinking that if I had to be high on something I would prefer my drug of choice which of course was alcohol. Non mood altering drugs seem fine if prescribed.

Well, that's my two bits worth for today. Keep coming back - there's better writers than me.

Love - Ken


Member: BERT.K.
Location: Victoria, Australia.
Date: 7/2/00
Time: 6:46:01 PM

Comments

Hi my name is Bert K and I am a alcoholic thank you for having me. When talking about pink clouds I think is the same as the "honey moon" period they call it here.And that to me it the period of everything going great, however that too passes and reality sets in and that meant that I had to start doing some work on myself.And for me that was start working the steps HONESTLY. And yes my life improved.Medication (Mood altering like any of the bezodiazapin etc etc )are dangerous for me and I stress for me. I played with them for a long time before putting the drink down and a fair while after the drink,however not being a docter I have no authority to speak on medication furter then my own story and not tell others what to and what not to take,because I could very well be responsible for someones death if I did.(Some people HAVE to take medication to survive and function in life). I will go to any length to stay sober and I mean ANY length,after all I went to any length and more to drink and look where that got me,and it is only as hard as I make it for myself.If I attend regular meeting of A.A.practice the program to the best of my ability (not perfect) I can have the sort of life that I have been enjoing for close to 19 years now,if I live in the program I am fantastic if I dont I have a bad day . Thank you for allowing me to share with everyone. GOD BLESS ALL ALKIES. BERT.K.


Member: Denise ls
Location: New York
Date: 7/2/00
Time: 7:24:48 PM

Comments

Hi Everyone! Denise the alcoholic here. Pink clouds NONE but the lengths I go to to keep my sobriety (SANITY) is basically just that I must take a lot of stress and pain daily just to maintain my sobriety. The kids are all home for summer vacation and having C.F.S.(Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) has been a challenge.Meds...I cannot take so I am lucky that way.I dont even like taking advil until I cant take the pain.I thank my H.P. if not once than TWENTY times a day just to feel I am whole.

Well thats it from me..God bless and sober wishes to all!!!


Member: jaime c
Location: Managua,Nicaragua
Date: 7/2/00
Time: 9:35:52 PM

Comments

Pink clouds were and are for me essential in my recovery.Thats the way my HP uses to remind me he loves me, maybe and usually after bad moments:humiliations,sickness,pity pot,etc..i love pink clouds,i think,sobreity,the promises are when you live the 24 hours in a pink cloud.meds:i have to take cuz i am a dibetic.i certainly would walk to any length to keep my sobriety,i would be insane to go back hell,prefer the pink clouds that the program, my HP, gives me.God bless everybody in this wonderful way,another gift, from our SPONSOR.


Member: Karen U.
Location: Michigan
Date: 7/2/00
Time: 10:02:33 PM

Comments

The other day at a f2f meeting I listened as one of the members read "How It Works" from the Big Book. For perhaps the first time, I heard the words, completely give themselves to this simple program.

When I gave up on AA after 6 wonderful years sober, I thought I had completely given myself to the program. I was going to several meetings a week, sponsoring a few newbies, and doing some service work. What I didn't realize:

That going to any length means ANY length - doing what I didn't want to do, even if I didn't want to do it.

That I had outwardly "fully given" myself to the program of AA, but inwardly reserved a lot for myself (just in case).

I pray today that I continue to hear new meaning from old sayings in the program.

God Bless you all - I love you and I know He does too!


Member: Doug K
Location: Humid shores of West Michigan
Date: 7/2/00
Time: 10:25:18 PM

Comments

Hi everybody, my name is Doug and I'm an alcoholic. I was told in the beginning what a pink cloud was. I was told that when it came, I should grab onto it and enjoy it - tho I needed to be aware that the pink cloud sometimes crashes. When this happens, I was to pick myself up, dust myself off, keep trudging the happy road and grab onto the next one. The pink cloud I am on now has floated steadily for a few years now, which makes it hard not to be grateful to my higher power. As far as meds go, my doc knows I'm an alcoholic, I question every prescription, and take them only as directed. Any lengths? There is aboslutely nothing more important in my life today than my sobriety. Nothing. I'm grateful for that, too. Thanks


Member: destiny w
Location: canada
Date: 7/2/00
Time: 10:37:00 PM

Comments

alright my name is destiny (alcholic) this is my first internet meeting how about the topic:sticking with the meetings?


Member: Rhonda K.
Location: Der
Date: 7/2/00
Time: 11:12:24 PM

Comments


Member: will p
Location: mpls mn
Date: 7/3/00
Time: 12:01:20 AM

Comments

hi my name is will and im an alcoholic

sticking with the meetings is a good topic for me. after first coming to aa 15 years ago and 5 1/2 years of sobriety one thing i learned the hard way is that most slips (mine anyway) started with a lack of going to meetings. the longer i stay sober the more i need to go to meetings.

another great reason for going to meetings is to see what happens to those who stop going to meetings.

this is my first time here and i look forward to coming often. i travel a lot in my work and this will come in handy when i cant make my normal meetings.

thanks will


Member: Vince C.
Location: Portland, OR
Date: 7/3/00
Time: 12:08:01 AM

Comments

Hi all. I'm Vince and I'm an alcoholic. Glad to be hear today lestening to you. Let's see ... pink clouds, medications, willingness to go to any length. My clouds have never been totally pink. Just a pinkish tinge around the edges when I was new or when I feel connected to HP. A touch of pink to pink to give me a hint of the color underneath the greyness.

Medications. My experience has been that I take prescribed medications. MY doctor knows that I am an alcoholic and saw fit to prescribe anti-depressants for me. I take them. I am thinking that while I am not qualified to prescribe for myself, a medical professional who knows and understands my condition may know a little bit more about this than I do. It has not been a huge issue for me. I don't get high or a buzz out of my medications. They address a biochemical problem and help me lead a sber active life.

Willingness to go to any lengths. A tough one. Since I have become sober I have been blessed with two wonderful children. I see god in just about everything they do. I have also been provided a career with some financial security. I tend to want to take care of these things before turning to AA. But I am starting to reaalize that this is a form of me running the show. Me trying to be the one in control. If I have truly made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of HP, I have to be willing to place god's will before my financial security and yes, even before my family. I rebel at this thought. But I am coming to realize that this is the way to peace and being one of god's kids. Does this mean I turn my back on the family or ignore them to concentrate mainly on service. I don't thinks so. There are many ways of doing god's will and being of service. This includes being of service to my family. My higher power speaks to me through the voices of my fellows in AA and tells me that my job is to act in love and service. To act how he would have me act. Opportunities for love and service may arise in all areas of my life -- AA, family and work. This has been the biggest challenge for me in the program -- how do I stay in the middle of the program and fellowship of AA and be of love and service in my family and work? I don't have any answers. I just try to do the next thing placed in my path.

I love this spiritual paththat has been laid out before me and all of you who light the path. It is not easy and it is not all rosy and bright. But, if I det out of myself and out of myself. There is hope and some joy. Like the joy I felt in sitting wth Spencer, my 16th month old so tonight, and just watching him. Watching him move and breath and getting a glimpse of the miracle.


Member: Frank C.
Location: Yreka, CA
Date: 7/3/00
Time: 1:10:16 AM

Comments

Chuck LeClair, a ggod friend and my sponsor just passed away yesterday (Saturday July 1). Chuck had almost 35 years sobriety (August 12, 2000). Chuck wrote some on this taying cyber group from time to time...he recently mentioned to me a friend "Sanders" who he had been talking to alot.. I know Sanders is a regular here... Please let him know that Chuck will meet him in the big meeting sometime.. sincerely, Frank C., franklc@jps.net


Member: Bryn P
Location: Old Hangtown, CA
Date: 7/3/00
Time: 2:06:05 AM

Comments

Hi, Bryn, alcoholic. Recently home from treatment at St. Helena Hospital, I did not have any pink clouds, but I was and remain grateful that I at this time have felt like the obsession has been removed, that to me means so very much. I am afraid of the Pink Cloud thing, because I know me, and I still suffer from the Sand Castle syndrome, I build it up all perfect and pretty and then I get the urge to smash it and tear it all down again. As far as meds, the put me on three while in treatment, I chose to leave them alone, none were narcotic or anything, but I felt sedated constantly & that just is not me, so with approval from the doctor I let em go....for a few days, I felt like crap, and now I feel more like me, but that is just me, my mom will need meds her entire life, she is in AA and Bi-Polar. I just want to wake up and experience whatever emotions I have right now and know that they don't stem from anything outside my body....that works for me today. As far as going to any lenghts, I am still praying for the ability to remember how important that is, being only 45 days sober, I already get where I feel like it is a lot of work being sober, and it is, but I know it is worth it and I know that any other way I will soon either face death or insanity..........Much Thanks. God Bless.........


Member: Jim.L
Location: Pompey.UK
Date: 7/3/00
Time: 5:04:59 AM

Comments

Hi! I'm Jim . I'm an Alcoholic. (1)I was at an Aftercare meeting and we were discussing Pink Clouds. I have been on a Pink Cloud since I felt serenity come back into my life. It happened to me half way through treatment. It was like the feeling you get when you have just come out of a deep meditation. This happened just before I did my Step 3 presentation. Since then, taking guidance from my HP( NOT PRESENT IN CP I MIGHT ADD), having a recovery plan and continuing meetings and my Step work has help me maintain my "Pink Cloud". I think what someone at the meeting said " I was on a Pink Cloud" for a year after treatment and realised that it had gone when I started to push people away" the person in question regained her focus and committed themselves to service and AA, did what she had been directed to do and found her serenity again. I think that the "Pink Cloud" feeling is having a feeling of great serenity, it needs spiritual maintenance just like your body needs physical maintenance.

(2)Medication? I have been prescribed Acamprosate;an anti-craving drug, available in UK/Europe, by a Consultant Doctor from the treatment centre.Seems to work.

(3)Going to any lengths for me is to do as I have been directed, work the programme one day at a time Keep it Simple, Ask for direction and take the advice given whether you like it or not. Early days for me yet though !

I'm feeling a bit resentful just now. I asked for advice in CP about helping someone in crisis and got a very short, sharp and shitty answer from an anonymous contributor. How do I deal with this resentment? Don't want to spoil my lovely pink cloud, do I?

Keep it Simple and in the day.

Love.......................J.X


Member: ANGIE B.
Location: CHICOTA,TX
Date: 7/3/00
Time: 5:39:06 AM

Comments

WOW! the honesty so far is sooooo nice to read and ponder. i am angie and i am a real alcoholic. I have never heard of the sand castle syndrom,not even in treatment. AA has taught me to love me,you,and all of everything includeing the bad stuff. my insides were so void of feelings except anger and resentment that not feeling was the object.(why i drank and altered) i dont have a clue about medications iv never read the lables just kept taking it till i felt different. duh... yes if i were sick or told i was sick by a licienced physico id be scared. cuz it happens. but if i were sick and or whatever a good careing licienced physician (shop and interview) has to be the judge and i need to trust (another topic another time). Going to any lengthes if you aint ready now keep on and if you dont get loaded,kill yourself, or someone else (or a few) youll get ready to do something about it. meetings never too many and never a bad one. its ALWAYS ME if i cant set still and listen and (usually) learn something. (and that does happen to all of us) No big deal. progress NOT PERFECTION. Thank God. and Thank all of you.


Member: ANGIE B.
Location: CHICOTA,TX
Date: 7/3/00
Time: 5:40:29 AM

Comments

WOW! the honesty so far is sooooo nice to read and ponder. i am angie and i am a real alcoholic. I have never heard of the sand castle syndrom,not even in treatment. AA has taught me to love me,you,and all of everything includeing the bad stuff. my insides were so void of feelings except anger and resentment that not feeling was the object.(why i drank and altered) i dont have a clue about medications iv never read the lables just kept taking it till i felt different. duh... yes if i were sick or told i was sick by a licienced physico id be scared. cuz it happens. but if i were sick and or whatever a good careing licienced physician (shop and interview) has to be the judge and i need to trust (another topic another time). Going to any lengthes if you aint ready now keep on and if you dont get loaded,kill yourself, or someone else (or a few) youll get ready to do something about it. meetings never too many and never a bad one. its ALWAYS ME if i cant set still and listen and (usually) learn something. (and that does happen to all of us) No big deal. progress NOT PERFECTION. Thank God. and Thank all of you.


Member: same as last 2 times
Location: means "possum" TX>>>
Date: 7/3/00
Time: 5:59:31 AM

Comments

YES I CAN READ BUT I SLIPPED. SO SORRY REALLY!! BUT I FORGOT SOMETHING ANYWAY- IM VERY SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS OF THE SPONSOR AND MOST OF ALL GOOD FRIEND OF YOURS AND ALOT OF OTHERS. AND I TOO BELIEVE THAT BIG MEETING IN THE SKY WILL HAPPEN FOR US ALL. THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE BOOK FOR ME IS TRUDGEING THE ROAD OF HAPPY DESTINY (OF KEY WORD) MAKES IT ALL OK FOR ME AND COUNTLESS OTHERS. HE MADE IT. AND WILL CONTINUE TO. JUST A STEP UP AND ANOTHER DISCOVERY. THATS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT ISNT IT???? GOD SPEED TO ALL OF US. ANGIE B.


Member: DEB L
Location: MICHIGAN
Date: 7/3/00
Time: 10:49:08 AM

Comments

Good Morning everyone, my name is Deb, and i'm grateful to be in recovery for this dreaded disease. It's just not always easy is it? Meetings are so very important to me, even more so now that i can't get to them as often as i'd like. In May we took Guardianship of my 15 month old TWIN grandbabies, so i went from one meeting a day to 2 a week. since that has happened my sobriety has been more of a battle. I need my daily BOOSTER SHOTS, so i'm very excited to have found this page to turn to. Meds are another issue. What is up with we alcoholics that we all have to be on some form of anti-depressant? Well i am too, and they do help i've noticed. Now i am struggling with another monkey and that is tylenol with codiene. I have a bad back, and have been taking these for quite some time. It's dishonesty in it's finest form, and i'm junk when i run out of those. I do know that i have to stop taking them or i will go back to drinking. My such a tangled web i weave for myself. They say some are sicker than others. Anyway i can't wait to get on that pink cloud again that is the best sober feeling in the world of sobriety.The only way that will happen for me is by having contentment within. Got some work to do! Since finding this page, i can see that Ken is the Man of the hour everyday. I really enjoy reading your messages Ken, i've been getting a lot out of them. Wish you were in my Thursday nite home group. I'm "new" here ya know, so keep writing, don't leave me yet! Must go the twins are calling.Safe and Sober holiday to all. Hugs-Deb


Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 7/3/00
Time: 11:21:01 AM

Comments

hi ,tony,alcoholic...mary w from kansas,i agree with you i think you hit the nail on the head (nice going).these "pink clouds" people float on are highs they get from not drinking,so have fun with it ,but,it's nice to be a little humble when taking the ride because when they evaporate (and they will)you still have to face everything around you good or bad....medications? only those who may need them can talk on that subject,i'll budd out...lastly ,any lengths? that is as differant as the individual ,some people have to divorce to stay sober,some must give up long time jobs,some have to do lots and lots of speaking commitments,others can read the big book and attend meetings and stay sober..it depends,but what ever the case i hope it is working for you,to make the lifestyle change that is nessicary for you...is going to any length...i feel life is a heavy exacting task that has been assigned us,or in some sence chosen,and we are absolutly obliged to carry it out,don't do it drunk.....happy 4th of july!!


Member: Jonathan M.
Location: New Hampshire
Date: 7/3/00
Time: 12:17:30 PM

Comments

I personally have been trying to get off meds I think they have their place in recovery though. We have to do whatever it takes to stay sober. Don't DRINK go to mettings and ASK for HELP.


Member: Cynde K
Location: Alaska
Date: 7/3/00
Time: 12:58:07 PM

Comments


Member: Cynde K
Location: Alaska
Date: 7/3/00
Time: 1:02:12 PM

Comments

Hi, This is my first time here. I would say I am an alc. and drug addict who is trying desperatly to change my lifestyle. Mainly for myself my kids and my loved ones. Itcan be so difficult when you are in a state and hae NO support. I wish everyonelove and best wishes on their recovery !!!


Member: William G.
Location: N.E. PA.
Date: 7/3/00
Time: 1:34:03 PM

Comments

Hello, I'm excited about finding this site. Already I've read good & helpful things. Thanks to you all. Concerning your struggle Cynde, you have friends & you have support. I welcome you to share your triumps, fears etc. Maybe we can help each other. you can find others to be available when a true friend is needed. I live in Pa. & enjoy sobriety but oft times am drawn down emotionally in the struggle of living. S19202214a@aol.com

Love & recovery, BiLL


Member: Dee
Location: Montana
Date: 7/3/00
Time: 1:46:29 PM

Comments

Dee , first time here. trying to quit again.I have never taken meds, but am comsedering it. ( With the Doctors o,k.) have been depressed for years and maybe they would help. Was so glad to find this sight on the web.


Member: Lori
Location: Virginia
Date: 7/3/00
Time: 1:57:32 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Lori and I'm an alcoholic. I have almost 20 months in the program, and I think I was on a pink cloud for about the first 18 months. Just by not drinking, going to meetings, and doing the first three steps, I felt great, physically and mentally. Life was pretty peaceful; I didn't really have any problems or difficulties. However, because I felt so good, I procrastinated about working step 4, so I wasn't really working on myself and my character defects. Then, at just about my 18-month point, reality began entering the picture. I started experiencing problems/situations that I couldn't avoid and that are directly related to my attitudes and character defects. That prompted me to begin working on step 4. That's where I am right now. I'm about halfway (I think) through step 4, and just beginning to see how much work is ahead of me. I'm grateful for the quiet, peaceful, pink cloud time, though, because during that time, I listened attentively at meetings, read the Big Book, and worked step 3 (in little things), so I have a good tool box to use for the more complicated things.

The only experience I have with medications is that I don't metabolize most meds very well (either they wipe me out or they make me feel very hyper), so I don't take anything unless the doctor says I absolutely have to.

Hello Cynde K from Alaska, and welcome!!!


Member: Derrick D.
Location: Kennesaw, GA
Date: 7/3/00
Time: 2:36:29 PM

Comments

Derrick the alcoholic & druggie, I've been sober 8 whole days and today I'm being evictec from my apartment. I have no money to move into a new place, so I am now homeless. Pink cloud, Ha! Sobriety is not coming easy. I guess this is part of the price of admission, so I'll pay this one time fee. In a couple of weeks I'll have enough money to move into a place, but in the meantime let the adventure of sobriety begin.


Member: mike m
Location: Waterford, WI(milwuakee)
Date: 7/3/00
Time: 5:05:07 PM

Comments

Hi everyone...mike alkie Great topic(s). Being very early in sobriety I am on a pink cloud ride right now and I have no qualms about holding on to it as long as I can although on a daily basis I can feel it slipping away and reality setting in after 20 years of on and off sobriety and 45 days of sobriety. This time I didn't hide. I gave up 10 years of living in San Francisco, a 5 year relationship and came home with the same thing I left with. A duffle bag and the clothes on my back. Since coming home and sobering up it has been one thing falling into place right after the other. Who wouldn't feel elated about that. Now that HP has set everything up for me it's time for me to follow up on my end of the bargain and that is setting and scaring the hell out of me. I am also starting to miss what I gave up to a certain extent and that is scaring me because I have made a committment to myself and HP that I will leave that behind and work on the problem right in front of me. Me , my drinking and my thinking. It's hard to give up things you love though. Am I willing to go to any lengths? I have so far, but it will be a continuous struggle with choices. Thanks for listening and being there........mikey


Member: Laila
Location: Turku , Finland
Date: 7/3/00
Time: 6:02:22 PM

Comments

Hi everyone, I'm Laila and I'm an alcoholic.

I was on a pink cloud for a looong time in my sobriety, when that wore off I fell BAM! right back to earth (it hurt!) and fell into a deep depression. The reason: I had been sober, been to meetings, but not really done anything about the steps. Today I have a sponsor, and I've reached step 4. Just finished writing it down. Feels good! I'm on a small pink cloud today!

Thanks for this sober day! Love, Laila DOS 2nd Oct 1996 email lailal1971@hotmail.com


Member: carlos
Location: la
Date: 7/3/00
Time: 6:35:21 PM

Comments

its ok derrick d.see me an juan wee liv on de streetz.we hava lappatop we go too deespi-dumpstera fo mcdonalds vedy gooda fooda de trow eat away lotsa mucho maggot flys but dats okdok wee eat dem to

carlos


Member: denise j.
Location: nyc
Date: 7/3/00
Time: 7:02:49 PM

Comments

I had a pink cloud experience most of my first few months of sobriety, and when things are going well, I certainly get a buzz of it. I started taking meds after a huge bout of depression, and realized I had to clear out more of the gunk that was in my brain that was making me a dopefiend/alkie in the first place. Ive been told that there are similar genetic markers for depressives and alcoholics, leading to the theory that alcoholics are self medicating clinical depresssion. Maybe there's something to it. I'm not a geneticist, but it's interesting.


Member: Joe A.
Location: Portland, OR
Date: 7/3/00
Time: 8:21:30 PM

Comments

Joe A. of Porland, OR back after a long absence.

Re: "Pink Clouds": Anything brand new in our lives takes some getting used to. Once we are accustomed to those new, good, feelings, they suddenly become "old hat". We think we are losing the pink cloud, but that is not so. We have simply become so accustomed to it, that we take it for granted.

Worry not! Unless you have taken a drink, it is still there, we simply don't notice it so much.

Going to any lengths--when you get an old Archy Bunker like me to change anything, that is the miracle of going to any lengths.

Hey, gang, this wonderful thing works--but only if we allow it to. Every time I fave fought the program or any part of it, I have won my fight. The program does not fight back, it simply works beautifully for those who allow it to work.

Hi to all the old gang from earlier this year. God loves you whether you like it or not! Who am I to feel any different?

Joe A. of Portland


Member: David
Location: ny
Date: 7/3/00
Time: 8:42:35 PM

Comments

Hi everyone my name is david & i'm a addict and alcoholic. I remember pink clouds, I got sober in manhattan the land of over 700 mtgs a week. In the beginning whenever i attended a meeting there was alway's a group going out to coffee. Being clean and sober was new and the pink cloud feeling stayed with me quite a while. I have since got married, had 2 children and moved away from where I firt got sober. Life took on a diff kind of reality the pink cloud feeling gone. I sometimes miss it and I also appreciate having experienced it.

Mediction to me is very personal, for me, if it was prescribed by a professional, I would discuss it with the peaple I know, and take it hopefully being honest about my motivation.

Thanks for an opporunity to share


Member: Geo T
Location: Out West
Date: 7/3/00
Time: 11:39:42 PM

Comments

I AGREE WITH GEORGIANA. I DON'T KNOW WHY I DRANK OTHER THAN TO FIT IN WITH MY PEERS WHEN I WAS YOUNGER. I DO KNOW THE FACT THAT I AM SOBER AND HAVE BEEN FOR SEVERAL YEARS HAS HELPED ME DEAL WITH A LOT OF ISSUES I NEVER WNATED TO BEFORE. THE ISSUES DON'T NECESSARILY HAVE TO BE LIFE ALTERING OR NOT. WHEN I DRANK A LOT I NEVER DEALT WITH ANYTHING NO MATTER HOW IMPORTANT OR TRIVIAL, OTHER THAN DRINKING. I JUST DIDN'T CARE. NOW, IF I DON'T DEAL WITH IT, ITS NOT BECAUSE I'M DRUNK AND DON'T CARE, ITS BECAUSE I CAN PRIORTISE AND DECIDE WHAT IS IMPORTANT IN MY LIFE. ONE THING IS FOR SURE, ALCOHOL IS NOT.


Member: Elinor D
Location: PA
Date: 7/3/00
Time: 11:39:50 PM

Comments

Hi everyone. My name is Elinor and i am an alcoholic and drug addict. This is my first time here. A friend suggested this site. Glad to be here and glad to be clean and sober.

Pink clouds....They are nice while they last. I asked why we couldn't always be in a pink cloud. I was told if it wasn't for the rough times I wouldn't appreciate the good times. Also the hard times are growing experiences. I try to hold on to the pink clouds as long as I can. When I fall off of one I believe another one is just around the corner.

As far as medications.....As far as I am concerned we do not have the right to tell people they need medication or not. this is an individual thing and needs to be discussed with a doctor who is familiar with addiction. i know of doctors that do not understand and have prescribewd meds that should not have been prescribed. honesty with your doctor is very important.

Willing to go to any lengths....that is so important. i was willing to go to any length to get drunk and high. I need to be willing to go to any length to stay sober. i would like to believe I would be. It was easier in the beginning when the pain of drunkenness was fresh in my memory. I must be willing to do whatever it takes to stay sober or I am putting conditions on my sobriety and I will end up drunk again. It has been over 10 years and I have not had to pick up a pill, fix, drink, or joint,YET thanks to God and the people in the rooms. I guess I must not have found a good enough reason to pick up yet. I know there are no good reasons. I need to remember that always and the best way to do that is by keep going to meetings and hearing it over and over and over.

God Bless everyone. Elinor


Member: Rick 1
Location: midwest
Date: 7/4/00
Time: 12:44:24 AM

Comments

Hello everyone , I'm Rick an alcoholic,trying to stay sober again. I was sober for five years and have been drinking again for another five years.I don't remember any pink clouds ,but the last few years have seen many hangovers and some weight gain. It's really hard to get out of bed some mornings! The last few days I have enjoyed extra energy and I don't need to eat asprin for breakfast.I feel more alert and better able to do the things I need to do. It isn't a pink cloud but I like it and I'll try to keep this going one day at a time.


Member: Dan H.
Location: Glennallen Alaska
Date: 7/4/00
Time: 1:08:34 AM

Comments

Cynde....when you are AA.....you have friends everywhere. Write me and I'll help you find a face to face AA meeting. Even in little pld Glennallen, we have regular meetings Even if its sometimes only 2 of us. It still works. cleandan@pobox.alaska.net


Member: Shannon S.
Location: Southern Cal.
Date: 7/4/00
Time: 1:53:09 AM

Comments

Hi everyone. Shannon, alcoholic here. The pink cloud is a good thing for me. I have been on one for most of my six years of sobriety. I am very fortunate and very grateful. As to why I drank - mostly to get drunk, but also because I did not like the way I felt when sober. I did not fit in I was always better than or less than but never the same as. Alcohol took care of that for a while. Once I noticed how much trouble alcohol had begun to cause in my life it was too late. I had crossed that line into alcoholism. After I admitted I was powerless I was granted a daily repreive from drinking based on the maintenance of a conscience contact with my higher power, who I call God. that pink cloud is relief and gratitude for freedom from alcohol. Best wishes to all for sobriety and happiness.


Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 7/4/00
Time: 4:07:10 AM

Comments

Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome to the newcomers! Thanks everyone for sharing!

Pink clouds are nice, but that's not what AA is all about. We are to keep our feet on earth, even when our heads are in the clouds. One way that I view AA is as a personal challenge to live each day sober, which unlike drunkeness, never fails to remind me that I am living on earth and not in heaven. Sobriety and the Steps bring me closer to reality, i.e. sanity, not the purely ego-dominated, self-destructive world of active alcoholism.

As far as the medication topic goes, I will once again recommend the AA paphlet "the AA member-medications and other drugs." It can be obtained from GSO or perhaps an intergroup office for less than 50 cents. Most importantly, I think, is that newcomers should not listen to other AA's opinions about whether or not they should take meds. Instead, they should consider the opinion of a qualified medical professional--or more than one, if necessary.


Member: Jean C.
Location: LA
Date: 7/4/00
Time: 10:00:44 AM

Comments

Jean, alcoholic. I have 43 days of sobriety and the pink cloud comes and goes. I am on a low does of anti-depressants. They don't make me feel high but do help to keep me from the chronic depression that made me want to drink in the first place. I am definitely trying to self-medicate emotional pain. Now that I'm sober, I have to spend time every day--either through meetings or through spiritual reading or writing journals--finding other ways to deal with that pain. I also have been using (and sometimes abusing) fiorinal--which was prescribed to me for headaches, but I also use it for stress. I have been using (and sometimes abusing) analgesics like aspirin /tylenol/excedrin/advil. Now I am trying to stop and think before I take any pill at all and ask what it is that I'm medicating? Even if it is, on the surface, physical pain, if I DON'T take the pill and instead go to a meeting or go for a walk or go take a hot bath--the headache goes away, cause what I'm really medicating is the emotoinal pain underneath. Otherwise, being sober is great. I feel healthier than I have in years. I'm losing weight without dieting--cause I don't have the 300 to 500 calories a day of red wine! Thanks so much to my HP and to all of you and to AA. Keep coming back!


Member: angela b
Location: virginia
Date: 7/4/00
Time: 10:28:35 AM

Comments

hey yall. angela b. alcoholic. jim b pompey uk, when stuck in resentment i pray hps will and usually find peace. love


Member: jen
Location: down south
Date: 7/4/00
Time: 8:46:37 PM

Comments

Jean, be careful with the fiorinal. My roomate at treatment was there just for her problem with that exact drug and no other alcohol or related problems, its highly addictive.

As for pink clouds, I had a great one that lasted for months. A person in my home group once told me "this to shall pass", which did provoke a resentment in me, but alas, she was eventually right. Either way, I'll take reality, my ability to actually feel my emotions and the tools of the program to try to let it go. peace and sobriety, I'm gladd I'm not out with all the other 4th of July partiers. It's funny how I now protect my sobriety (going to any lengths?) byavoiding those people, places and things which will trigger me. I guess a concert, fireworks, parade full of half drunken celebrants counts as something that may be harmfull.


Member: karen d
Location: up north...
Date: 7/4/00
Time: 8:56:04 PM

Comments

morning. i'm karen and i'm an alcoholic. first time here and really glad to have found you all(in more ways that one...)i had a great big, pink,fluffy cloud in my first few months of recovery and then reality and a lack of ability to be totally honest hoovered it up (also the fact that i had come to step 4 and er, "left it to one side for a little while..." didn't help.nearly 20 months on, i still haven't picked it back up. not too happy with myself over that one, but i suppose it's progress rather than perfection, eh?!) as for meds i'm lucky enough not to need any, for the moment, but if my doc thought i needed some for the good of my health, then bring 'em on. and any lengths for sobriety? i feel in the light of my step 4 sit. that i'd be a hypocrit to say i have done that so far. but i'll keep trying. it's hard to let go of that old egocentric me, but i know i have to. must pray harder. love to you all, karen xx!


Member: mary c. d.
Location: scotland
Date: 7/5/00
Time: 6:46:55 AM

Comments

Hi my name is MARY C. yesterday I was 4 years sober. Independance Day for me! I'm still on a pink cloud. Life is great sober I have been ill for the last four days and this is how I found this sight. Its great to know I can now have a meeting in my own home. look forward to using this sight often.


Member: neal h
Location: Texas
Date: 7/5/00
Time: 10:36:30 AM

Comments

Today, is my first day , but Im not sure if i can do it> I truly want 2 . Whats the first step?????!!!!!!!!


Member: Charlie
Location: Maine
Date: 7/5/00
Time: 12:18:11 PM

Comments

Hi Family Charlie a very garteful Alcholic. Yes Pink Clouds I had them for quite awhile, and then they seemed to disappear, but I keep being grateful which helps me to keep as much of them as possible. Neal H you just have to take the first step by admitting that your an alcholic, and reach out to the AA fellowship as it works it really does. And remember if you want what we have work the steps follow the suggestions go to meetings and get a sponsor. You have to do it for yourself and not for any other reason. Thank you for letting me share I love you family.


Member: Jesse B
Location: Florida
Date: 7/5/00
Time: 4:48:52 PM

Comments

Pink Cloud? When I was there it was wonderful. I spoke in a meeting, felt great, but the feedback was "Keep coming back." Then, reality set in. It's not always a coast with everything hunky dory.

Right now, it just sucks. I hurt, hate it, and want to drink. I am full of resentment, and wonder why God has abandoned me. I pray for those that have hurt me everyday. I want relief, the pink cloud is gone.


Member: Michele
Location: california
Date: 7/5/00
Time: 4:52:59 PM

Comments

Hi my name's Michele and I'm an addict/alcoholic.This is my first posting although I have read the discussions alot. I think pink clouds are the magic of success-doing it to the best of your ability I experience pink clouds in other aspects of my life and emotions. It seems to me that they're called clouds because they too will pass and return. Ride it while you got it!! As far as the meds are concerned..antidepressants really helped me work the program. I was depressed and thats a treatable medical condition. They don't keep me sober they keep me stable. Neal H and other newcomers walk the walk and talk the talk because it works if you work it.


Member: DOUG B.
Location: LOST IN OREGON
Date: 7/5/00
Time: 6:28:55 PM

Comments

I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT PINK CLOUDS ARE? CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS? AS FAR AS MEDS GO, I AM STILL TAKING WHAT THE DR. HAS PRESCRIBED FOR MY DEPRESSION/ANXIETY PROBLEMS.IM NOT REALLY SURE IF THEY ARE WORKING RIGHT YET OR IF THEY EVER WILL.THEY SEEM TO KEEP ME SOMEWHAT ON AND EVEN KEEL ATLEAST.IM STILL PRETTY LOST THOUGH. EVERYONE HAVE ANOTHER SOBER 24. DOUG B.


Member: Jeff
Location: West Michigan
Date: 7/5/00
Time: 9:52:02 PM

Comments

Hi My name is Jeff and I am an alcoholic. Pink clouds...meds...and going to any lengths to stay sober.

Pink Clouds are (to me) a description of a feeling that some or all of us get in AA at one time or another. It's good but it is partially an illusion (pink vs. white cloud? -shoot I don't know)- any way - when I look back on the period of time that someone told me I was on a pink cloud it seems that things were going my way - I was happy - I was telling people about it-some of the things that went my way turned out not so great. Some things are truly great and I can't see the good ... I'll keep comming back and hope more of what you all have slowly rubs off on me.

meds are touchy ground...I take the 10th. Some of the above says it better than I can.

p.58 - "If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it then you are ready to take certain steps"..That pretty much says it. Sometimes just showing up at a meeting amazes me. Thank you all for being here.


Member: sunny s
Location: New Bedford, Mass
Date: 7/6/00
Time: 1:18:13 AM

Comments

Hello All, I'm a member of this Staying Cyber group of AA, homegroup to alkies all over the world.

I haven't seen anyone on a pink cloud going to any lengths to stay sober. I didn't get a pink cloud...and might have had a vague resentment about it. For the most part, I think pink clouds are a gift of healing that HP gives when necessary.

Going to any length is required of us warriors who just have to battle something.


Member: Karin E.
Location: Palmer, Alaska
Date: 7/6/00
Time: 3:36:48 AM

Comments

Hi.I'm Karin and I'm an alkie/addict. I don't think I have been on a pink cloud so I'm not sure I understand it. I have been told I have been on a blue sky high, in reference to being overconfident of how easy it was for me to quit drinking and drugging. I try to keep this in mind when I think it's been easy going. When I compare it to dealing with my mother-in-law with me being sober as to using, quitting has been a lot easier for me. My family ties didn't bother me as much when I was under the influence. Now I have to deal with it because I am not drowning it out anymore. I have been sober for 45 days now and doing quite well. I feel really good about the improvements I have made with myself except for this issue with family. It boils down to a control issue with me. I am working really hard on acceptance, but it's not coming easy. I hope my sobriety continues this way. As long as I keep it in the front of my mind, I do ok. It's when I don't that I get tempted. I'm glad to have found this site. I'll keep coming back. Thanks for listening.


Member: Jake B
Location: California
Date: 7/6/00
Time: 4:10:54 AM

Comments

Hi everyone, my names Jake and I think I'm an alcoholic. The big problem is that I'm 15. Both my parents were addicts and I just have a huge problem avoiding drugs and alcohol. I think about them all the time and when the cravings get too bad, I go out and get drunk or high. I want to stop, but I don't know how.


Member: Chris C.
Location: Austin, texas
Date: 7/6/00
Time: 5:08:31 AM

Comments

Hey Jake! You are fortunate to be willing to consider if you are an alcoholic as such a young age. Find an AA group or Al-A-Teen group and go to a few meetings. If you are really determined to find out, keep going and you will. Great possibilities for a wonderful life await you, as this is a program about living, not just not drinking or drugging.


Member: Robert
Location: K
Date: 7/6/00
Time: 10:55:34 AM

Comments

I'm dying on a dry drunk. Haven't been to a meeting in a couple years. Fear is keeping me sober -- well, I don't consider this sober but fear is keeping me from drinking. I also am in a new town, new job and on medication. The pressure is building big time. Yet, I still don't know if I can go to a meeting, don't know if I buy it all. I've thought about getting drunk "for leverage" but that is crazy. I've thought about calling local intergroup for a few names, got the names and location of meetings instead. I'm out on a wire here. I have been praying for the strength to "get back" where I belong. I don't even know what the hell to do. (Which, in and of itself, should be enough proof that I need to get to a meeting.) I'm agoraphobic -- to an extent and have bad, bad panic attacks as well. Please advise as I cannot do for myself . . . Oh yeah, I think I'm addicted to the Internet too. Sorry about busting up the topic -- "our primary purpose is to help other alcoholics" or something like that . . . I'm reaching my hand out as best as I can.


Member: Robert
Location: metro- Detroit
Date: 7/6/00
Time: 11:01:53 AM

Comments

Sorry, location is Metro-Detroit not "K"


Member: ron s.
Location: southwest
Date: 7/6/00
Time: 2:12:07 PM

Comments

hi I'm ron and I am an alcoholic. I have never had a pink cloud so I can't comment on that. likewise I have never used medications so no comment on that either(but I do agree with most of you that it would be foolish to use anything without the guidance of a physician)however I think that "doing whatever it takes" is a good strong deterrant...until it doesnt work one day. Meetings, meetings and more meetings, follow the steps, they work if you work, that's why they are there. I fooled myself for 13 yrs thinking I could handle it. My big thing was getting a 12 pack and calling everyone in my phone book telling them what was wrong with them how I (mr. perfect) could solve all the problems in the world, then go through several months of shame, screening telephone calls so I wouldnt have to hear about what an ASS I was and telling myself never again...until the next time. Fortunately I have a better wife than I deserve who helps me to live the steps these days. So Robert from D.M. if you cant get to a meeting or are apprehensive about it: for a HP'S sake, continue to utilize this resource, there are some great testimonials on this site and they are there for you as am I. God Bless.


Member: Vicki L
Location: Spokane, Washington
Date: 7/6/00
Time: 4:39:26 PM

Comments

Hi, Vicki and alcoholic: Just discovered this meeting on the internet. Wow! People from all over. That is so great! Pink cloud! Well, it has been awhile since I was on one, but when I was I enjoyed it enormously! Going to any lengths was one of the topics at the 7:00 a.m. meeting I go to. We also talked about keeping it simple and acceptance. I think that life just happens, some good, some bad, and you can use the tools of AA on any of it. I heard a guy talk about having a game plan. Five or Six things that you commit to do before you drink. Because sometime in your sobriety you are going to come up against something that is so bad that unless you have a specific plan, you might not be able to keep from drinking. That's all from me today. Keep coming back! It works!


Member: Matt L
Location: New York
Date: 7/6/00
Time: 5:11:18 PM

Comments

My name is Matt and i am a alcoholic and addict. i am not sure if i am the first one here but i am wondering if the topic could be taking responsibility.


Member: carlos de clowne
Location: la
Date: 7/6/00
Time: 6:38:24 PM

Comments

wake up matt,of course you're not the first one here,responibility??? get a life.

carlos de rebel


Member: Deb
Location:
Date: 7/6/00
Time: 7:25:46 PM

Comments

Hi Everyone! Deb,alcoholic. Pink Cloud! Temporary at best. I have had many a fall from what I thought was so great. I always liked the saying, "false optimism makes a poor parachute" . Sobriety has been more about growing up these last few years. Emotionally I thought and acted like a teenager most of the time. I had to adjust my ways of thinking even about the program as the time sober grew into months and years. I was unprepaed for what it would be like so it has been difficult beyond my imagination. I saw alot of people in the rooms who I did not want to be like and I had a alot of oppurtunities to create a new life. I could no longer hang on to meetings and people to hold my hand everyday. I had to make my own decisions and not blame others for advising me when I made mistakes. Someone wrote about turning our service work out into our families and the world we are trying to fit into. That is what I try to do today. Service work is bigger than sitting in meetings looking for some new person to impress with all our experience. I appreciate all the time I needed to be planted where I was safe from self destructing. Today I have learned what that is about and why I was bent on being a victum of this disease. Today I keep my feet firmly on the ground. And stay out of lofty ideas that AA has the answers to everything. I have had to learn that the hard way. Today I take advantage of all there is in this new life I have. Thanks to a power greater than be I have a bit of peace today. And enough courage to face the next lesson that comes along. Hang in all of you new to not drinking. If you are lucky you will be carried along long enough to get a feel you kinda like, without being smashed..


Member: Phyllis M.
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
Date: 7/6/00
Time: 8:57:17 PM

Comments

Hi, my name is Phyllis, and a recovered alcoholic. As far as "pink clouds" go, mine has been fairly on going for almost 5 years. I have trusted that my HP will carry me through the tough times and rely on him through the good. I attend at least 1 f2f meeting a week and use the tools of AA in all my affairs. (to the best of my abilty. Life is great! I started drinking to fit in. I always felt out of place. AA has filled that void and filled my heart with graditute and peace. Keep coming back everyone, and one day at a time, there is nothing you can handle


Member: Phyllis M.
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
Date: 7/6/00
Time: 8:57:23 PM

Comments

Hi, my name is Phyllis, and a recovered alcoholic. As far as "pink clouds" go, mine has been fairly on going for almost 5 years. I have trusted that my HP will carry me through the tough times and rely on him through the good. I attend at least 1 f2f meeting a week and use the tools of AA in all my affairs. (to the best of my abilty. Life is great! I started drinking to fit in. I always felt out of place. AA has filled that void and filled my heart with graditute and peace. Keep coming back everyone, and one day at a time, there is nothing you can handle


Member: Michele
Location: california
Date: 7/6/00
Time: 9:09:58 PM

Comments

Hey Deb, Sounds like a pink cloud to me! Nothing beats being high on life. It's doing the footwork that gets you there. JAKE if your parents are alcoholic you probably never stood a chance of not becoming one yourself. Check out the meetings..Drunks working the program are cool people.


Member: ????????????????
Location: ?????????????????
Date: 7/6/00
Time: 9:35:29 PM

Comments

pink clouds????i dont get it,do you mean pink elephants? am i confusing something?


Member: Rhonda K.
Location: Derry, N>H>
Date: 7/6/00
Time: 10:09:21 PM

Comments

Hi I'mRhonda and Iam an alcoholic. I recently completed 8mos. of sobriety. Yes I was on a pink clould almost immediately. To me it was as if I had been frozenfor along time and someone defrosted me and I saw everything in a new light. Like any "user" Iknew I would have to come down eventually. But when the time came I had a toolbox and a fellowship and most importantly a Higher Power.

I call my HP God. God brought me to AA and AA brought me to God. Taking step 3 was life changing for me. Before that I thought I had a 911 HP.

Any length for sobriety and my new life. YOU BET!! Willingness is really key and thank you God I have plenty. Please give AA a chance if you even think that you might have a problem.

I wish that young alcoholics could be spared years of insanity. Just 9mos ago I didn't care if I lived or died - I Love this program and a 43 I look forward to growing up the AA way.

Thanks for being here to share with.


Member: Debbie M.
Location: Mississippi
Date: 7/6/00
Time: 11:30:56 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Debbie & an alcoholic. Tjis is my first time to attend a meeting online. Enjoying it so far-I've been in the program almost 8 yrs.(Oct. 2000). I, too, was on a pink cloud for a long time, but I believe it helped me to hang on. I had hope for the first time in my life, and had it not been for that glimmer of hope, being the kind of drunk I was-I would have been drinking again! I'm grateful to the program of AA & to people just like you. As, for meds, I'm no authority, therefore I will not discuss it online.

I am & have been willing to go to any lengths to keep my contnued sobriety. My life depends on it. I used to think that I had to drink to live- I now KNOW that IF I drink-I will die. The AA way- going to meetings, service work, USING my sponsor, sponsoring newcomers, studying the Big Book, praying to HP, meditation, & not taking that 1st drink- IS th easier, softer way!!

Peace>>>


Member: Joe H.
Location: San Diego
Date: 7/7/00
Time: 2:00:34 AM

Comments

Whats up? my name is Joe & I am an Alcoholic! When i was in my first few months I felt so good I felt kind of guilty about it. I was amazed at the fact that the obession had been removed and I felt sort of like nothing that came down the pike could hurt me agian. I say that because I was living in that dark morass of a pit that was the disease of alcholism & drug addiction for a quarter of a century. I called my sponsor at the time and told him how I was feeling and he said "sounds like you are on a pink cloud" then he said ride it as long as you can but remember to pack your pink parachute. Huh? What did he mean by that? Well it didnt last for ever life kind of showed up and some funky days came along. What I found out what my sponsor was talking about was that stay close, when your feeling really good keep going to meetings, keep working the steps, keep taking all the suggestions of this wonderful progrham. I have had many pink clouds since and many blue ones as well. But thats because thats just how life works for all of us, normies as well. The phrase tis to shall pass applies to the good as well as the not so good. God Bless and keep coming back bigtips@mailcity.com


Member: Joe H.
Location: San Diego
Date: 7/7/00
Time: 2:02:38 AM

Comments

Whats up? my name is Joe & I am an Alcoholic! When i was in my first few months I felt so good I felt kind of guilty about it. I was amazed at the fact that the obession had been removed and I felt sort of like nothing that came down the pike could hurt me agian. I say that because I was living in that dark morass of a pit that was the disease of alcholism & drug addiction for a quarter of a century. I called my sponsor at the time and told him how I was feeling and he said "sounds like you are on a pink cloud" then he said ride it as long as you can but remember to pack your pink parachute. Huh? What did he mean by that? Well it didnt last for ever life kind of showed up and some funky days came along. What I found out what my sponsor was talking about was that stay close, when your feeling really good keep going to meetings, keep working the steps, keep taking all the suggestions of this wonderful progrham. I have had many pink clouds since and many blue ones as well. But thats because thats just how life works for all of us, normies as well. The phrase this to shall pass applies to the good as well as the not so good. God Bless and keep coming back bigtips@mailcity.com


Member: Deb
Location: NE
Date: 7/7/00
Time: 2:07:26 AM

Comments

Pink Cloud???..only brief feelings of complete security after sharing at meetings or speaking on a committment...temporary feelings.

I'm so often battling irrational excess fear...likely genetic as I see it in the family. Sober for quite awhile, done afew 5th steps, 2 sponsors (that I don't call enough)...and I'll be doing ok and I'll get a chance at something new. Real gifts of sobriety like when my kids were born or I get to try a new job or start a business or new class and I'm grateful and WHAM! A sudden fear out of nowhere holds my breath. I've managed to keep facing it...I am holding on to the promises that "fear of economic insecurity and people will leave us"..I was given meds for this anxiety three times over the years and they would work initially and eventually stop. It was frustrating to feel relief and then have the anxiety return. Grateful I know the drink holds only empty promises.I no longer go to any lengths..I won't drag my kids to a meeting as it drains any serenity...I won't go to a meeting every night..sobriety has given me a job, kids, hobbies and running to hide and escape in meetings at every hiccup isn't life on life's terms for me right now.


Member: nancy
Location:
Date: 7/7/00
Time: 3:44:07 AM

Comments

I wish I knew more about how to stop. I don't know how to find the time to attend meetings. I'm with my kids all the time. Help?


Member: Theresa.B
Location: Brossard Quebec, Canada
Date: 7/7/00
Time: 7:35:05 AM

Comments

Hi everyone my name is theresa and I'm a gratful alcoholic addict i remember in the begining of my sobriety I was on that "PINK CLOUD."It was a wonderful feeling and today I'm very gratful for that pink cloudthats what keep me going to meeting and working the STEPS and kept me sober and clean for 10 months and 2weeks thanks for letting me share and have a great 24 hours and KEEP COMING BACK!!!


Member: Rhonda K.
Location: Derry NH
Date: 7/7/00
Time: 8:55:22 AM

Comments

Hi Rhonda Alcoholic. Nancy I too didn't have thetime to recovery with work, husband, 3 kids, pets ect. Then someone in the program reminded me that I won't even have a life if I don't take care of myself and work the program. Just do it no matter how hard it is to go to meetings. Get a sponsor. This is a disease that tells us we don't have a disease. Also my family would just like everything to be "normal" again. Meetinhg makers make it. Online meetings count! Take care and stay sobefr. Keep coming. Rhonda - Derry. NH


Member: Denny P
Location: Tx
Date: 7/7/00
Time: 12:30:14 PM

Comments

Hello all. My day of Grace is Feb 23, 1998 and although I'm probably not as grateful as i should be, I'm as grateful as I know how to be today. Pink clouds are great for awhile but eventually you have to take some action, work the steps, and find "pink clouds" in the form of serenity in reality. I truly love the Program and sobriety.

On medication!!! Soapbox time I'm afraid!! Although i'm only about 28 months sober, I made my first AA meeting in Aug of 95 and have been sober for all but 7 months since that 1st meeting. Prior to going to AA I went to the VA hospital and was diagnosed with severe clinical depression and PTSD and began taking medication (as prescribed)to combat those mental illnesses. After going back out and coming back in after 7 months I took the advice of an AA that AA also stood for absolute abstinance and didn't begin taking the meds again and after 10 months of sobriety, working the steps, and following the suggestions to the best of my ability on a daily basis, I had to attempt suicide twice in a two week period!! It is only through devine intervention that I am not wearing 6 feet of dirt today. Working the steps of AA can not cure all of and alcoholics problems if he/she has mental illness problems and when the "absolute abstinance" info is passed around the tables of AA, I believe we are sending some of our number to their death.

May you all find Grace one day at a time through your Higher Power and the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Denny


Member: John T
Location: bath,ny
Date: 7/7/00
Time: 12:41:25 PM

Comments

Meetings of Alcoholics Anonomous aren't hotbeds of mental health; people in various stages of "recovery" with different motives for attending, from wide rangeing social, economic, religous, educational, and spiritual beliefs, joining together to share their experience, strength, and hope with each other to stay sober for that day. AA itself does not promise to be the answer to life, though some members might espouse that belief. When I was drinking, I thought myself and my problems unique. The deepseated fear that that wasn't the case, that I wasn't the center of anything, enforced the lie of the alcohol. Alcohol made me feel smarter and better, and made it easy to feel the martyr or saint accordingly. When actively useing I never simply made a mistake, I was always sqrewed, usually by an uncareing never understandig world. When I attend an AA meeting and I look for just the infirmities of my fellow alcoholics, when I judge them for being right where they need to be ( where ever we are at the moment emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, is the only place we can be at the moment.) I'm still looking for my justification in feeling "different". In recovery I can mistake the fact that because I'm not drinking I'm special or "different. We are usually sel-centered and selfish to the extreme. This is not a trait unique to the alcoholic. By attending meetings we can have the mirror of reality held up before us to see just how human we are. More important, we can be there to help a fellow sufferer. With recovery comes the responsability of showing the newcomer the truth that the program does work, we don't have to be slaves to a substance or our own ego. Am I not truly selfish to with hold that message and gift by refusing to give back what was so freely given to me, just because a meeting and the people in it don't live up to my expectations of what they ought to be?


Member: Roy S
Location:
Date: 7/7/00
Time: 2:15:47 PM

Comments

I myself don't know that I have necessarily seen any "pink clouds" in society. All I know is that my life today with AA is better than it was without it. I agree with the earlier statement that even non-alcoholics could benefit from using the steps in other areas of their life. The steps really work if you take them to heart, and while life is still not perfect, it's better than it was. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Cathal D.
Location: Ireland
Date: 7/7/00
Time: 5:48:52 PM

Comments

Hi i'm cathal the alcoholic I think my pink clouds have just been blown away the honeymoon period is over--but I won't drink to day because the fear of going back there frightens the life out of me. I am sober today thanks to my HP and this program but i am struggling with the honesty. Being too honest recently has hurt me deeply and when that happened "slic" was on my shoulder to try and influence me but I let go and let god it's difficult but it works. It is great to know this site is here. keep sharing and take care you owe it to yourselves cathal


Member: Jeff B.
Location: Philadelphia
Date: 7/7/00
Time: 8:35:53 PM

Comments

Hi. Jeff, alcoholic. My thoughts on pink clouds are that as long as I am grounded in recovery, why not enjoy them? As I've learned in eight years sober, life does not stop because I've decided not to drink today. Good stuff happens, bad stuff happens. Why not try to enjoy the good stuff? Cathal, I still struggle with the honesty sometimes. I've learned the difference between brutal honesty and living an honest, recovering life. Sometimes the best said word is the one left unsaid. I have the option of living each day in a clean fashion, or not doing so. I choose recovery today. I'll let you know about tomorrow after I've lived it.


Member: nfsh
Location: portland
Date: 7/7/00
Time: 9:13:19 PM

Comments

i feel hopeless today i dont know why either, i think the meds are messing me up the doc increased the dosage last week and im really feeling bad today,should i call him or wait until my next apptment on the 27th??

not feeling so hot


Member: ~deb
Location: NW
Date: 7/8/00
Time: 1:33:20 AM

Comments

((John T))~ cool! thank you for sharing. I was on a pink cloud for several months after becoming sober, I was so amazed that God did that for me. I never dreamed I could have even one day sober, and what's more, enjoy it! That was a fun time. I think someone was right, that I'm still on a pink cloud but it's not as intense. Kind of like the joy of a new relationship or receiving a present doesn't last forever in the same way. Maybe someone who hasn't experienced a pink cloud is not really ready or happy about sobriety. Also I tended to ramble on about how happy and amazed I was, not realizing maybe others didn't experience the same thing. I imagine someday I might be struggling to stay sober but today it's easy and I'm happy, and I wish the same for everybody, if not with AA then maybe something else. with love & wishes for serenity ~deb


Member: d   s
Location: n w
Date: 7/8/00
Time: 2:36:19 AM

Comments

im dwight alcoholic, i dont think the pink cloud has to go away. i just need to work the steps like it says in the big book. if i do anything less my best thinking will take me back tord the place i came from


Member: Tacey C.
Location: Arizona
Date: 7/8/00
Time: 3:02:43 AM

Comments

Hi. My name is Tacey and I am an alcoholic. I was hoping to see a posting from a guy in Denver who used to post each week and had such wonderful things to share. I guess he went away. Let's see. Pink clouds?? Never had one in early sobriety. Have had a few, over the years. My definition is just feeling so good that I'm almost goofy. Just floating along, thinking and feeling life is all that and a bag of chips. I have learned to enjoy them while they last. Perhaps it's the child in me coming out to play for awhile. Whatever...it's fun. Of course, they always end. Then it's back to reality. That, too, has become a lot more fun. Medication--I have never been on anti-depressants or anxiety meds or any other meds. Not that I probably haven't needed them. I just never felt comfortable taking them. I am a bad pill addict and was always afraid of having a slip because I was taking medication. Anyways, I have used the steps and the program to heal my emotional and mental illness. It's slow, but real. I hope that I never have to take medication for my alcoholism. Willing to go to any lengths--I have been there and done that...many, many times. I have had to make HARD choices for my sobriety. The latest--divorcing my husband of 12 years and beginning a new life. I am in the midst of a geographical and I am finally excited about moving on. Yes, I have been willing to go to any lengths. I will do whatever is necessary to stay sober and clean. I have to. For me, to drink is to die. You guys take care and I hope Denver comes back.


Member: Mary K
Location: Boston (Raynham)
Date: 7/8/00
Time: 7:04:58 AM

Comments

Mornin all! Mary, alcy

I've been on pink clouds and I've been on black clouds...give me the pink ones any day. The bottom line for me is not to drink NO MATTER WHAT. As my sponsor says "Ya gotta learn to roll with the punches kid".

Going to any lengths - What that ended up meaning to me at the beginning of my sober journey was: Am I willing to change my entire life? My answer was yes. And I did.

Love to all - Mary.


Member: Roger L.
Location: Ohio
Date: 7/8/00
Time: 11:26:34 AM

Comments

My situation is that I knew I needed to stop drinking so about 3 weeks ago I asked my shrink (who I was only seeing for antidepressents not therapy) for a script for Antabuse, which I've now been taking (after initially having some trouble accepting that I needed to take it). I felt I wanted something to keep me from the temptation of stopping and buying a six-pack and drinking it in one sitting. An AA sponser seemed like a good idea but I've haven't had a chance to attend a meeting to get set up. Anyone one have any comments/thoughts? Also, my wife has not gone along with my request for us to have a dry house as she feels she has a right to have her glass or two of wine occasionally. In the past this got me in trouble because I would sneak drinks out of the bottle. What are your thoughts/experiences with having a dry house? Thanks.


Member: Barry L
Location: Bloomsburg PA
Date: 7/8/00
Time: 11:40:23 AM

Comments

Hi I'm Barry, and I am an Alcoholic.

My understanding of the term Pink Cloud, and my past experience, is when we just get Sober(dry)and everything seems so great and different(because we ain't wasted all the time)and we just ride on that feeling alone, I had stayed sober (dry) for extended periods almost 3 yrs once, in the Pink Cloud state, but it did not last. I did not achieve Sobriety until after I WORKED the 12 Steps. Where I got sober if you said someone is on a Pink Cloud, you were imlpying they were staying Sober on that new feeling alone, and had not really faced reality yet and begun to Work the Program of AA. Unfortunatley I have seen many including myself stay sober for some time on the Pink Cloud, only to drink again because we refused to go to Any Lengths to Work the Program of AA whichare necassary to acheive SOBRIETY.

Inquiring Minds wrote: I am so sick of everybody telling how wonderful sobriety is. Bullshit! If it were that wonderful why in the hell did you take up drinking like a fish in the first place?

Sobriety is wonderful, as long as I don't pick up a drink I know my life will be better than when I drank.Life however has its ups and downs and is not always Wonderful, I drank like a Fish because I did'nt know how to deal with lifes ups and downs, until Alcohol nearly killed me. I chose to work the Steps of this Simple Program, which has taught me to live life on lifes terms, for good or ill without having to drink to do it. These Spriritual Principles have change my life beyond my wildest dreams, but thats what Sobriety can do for anyone.

Thanks, Barry L


Member: michele
Location: Ca
Date: 7/8/00
Time: 8:46:09 PM

Comments

Roger L-Oh wow..I could never stay sober if my partner had a "few" glasses of wine. You can't be bigger than you are guyfriend. That's asking you to be way huge!! The first time I realized I had a problem with booze and drugs my husband (at that time) would leave a full bottle of scotch in the kitchen and have his few drinks happily while I sucked on apple juice or snapple or something,. Yick! I can still remember the smell on his breath. Good luck to you and maybe you can ask her to drink her few glasses while you go to a meeting. I'm married to a man who never drinks, never has, I think he needs antidepressants but maybe I'm still on my pink cloud. At least I don't think he should start drinking. I dunno all my plants lived and my animals are thriving but maybe I should've waited longer for a relationship...We're all very lucky to have this program to give us company, sobriety and a little blind faith. Everyone needs these steps.


Member: Sue
Location:
Date: 7/8/00
Time: 10:24:38 PM

Comments

Hi My name is Sue and I'm definitly an alcholic. this is my first time commenting online. I found this site just last week and have enjoyed reading your comments. I was sober for 16 months, doing great on my "pink Cloud" I was doing so well that I stopped going to meetings (could not seem to find the time anymore)I picked up once in April and three times since then. My last drink was 5 days ago. I desperatly want to experiance that pink cloud again, but this time I'll keep going to meetings. They really work! Finding this site will help me stay connected to AA in between F2F meetings. Thanks for being here!

Sue


Member: ????????????
Location: ????????
Date: 7/8/00
Time: 10:33:15 PM

Comments

I know this is off the subject, but does anyone have any opinions on what to do about someone celebrating an anniversary in your group , but you & several others Know they have had a relapse.

NO Name Please


Member: ????????????
Location: ????????
Date: 7/8/00
Time: 10:34:58 PM

Comments

I know this is off the subject, but does anyone have any opinions on what to do about someone celebrating an anniversary in your group , but you & several others Know they have had a relapse.

NO Name Please


Member: ????????????
Location: ????????
Date: 7/8/00
Time: 10:36:31 PM

Comments

I know this is off the subject, but does anyone have any opinions on what to do about someone celebrating an anniversary in your group , but you & several others Know they have had a relapse.

NO Name Please


Member: Don S.
Location: Connecticut
Date: 7/9/00
Time: 1:15:23 AM

Comments

For the first time in years, I went to my old Saturday 11 p.m. meeting tonight and ... it wasn't there. Church is locked up, parking lot is empty. So, it's great to have this forum! Pink clouds ... if I genuinely work the principles of AA, there'll be no long-term pink cloud. Because AA requires we live in reality. BUT ... a lot of the time, reality can seem nearly as fun as a pink cloud when my attitude is good. Today was sunny but mild & breezy, my wife and I biked and ran a rails-to-trails path & later swam for a while, I'm reasonably healthy and content .... none of this is the high-drama, high-pressure soap opera kind of stuff that made up my drinking life 17 years ago, but God it's surely happier and healthier!! Gratitude makes it a lot simpler to enjoy the good things!! Peace and sobriety, ~ Don


Member: DonF
Location: NH
Date: 7/9/00
Time: 8:05:04 AM

Comments

Comment at the end of last weeks'...what can we do about someone claiming a year sobriety when we know they have had a relapse... Nothing, except pray for them to find the honesty and gratitude and true serenity of the program.


Member: wouter k
Location: db,netherlands
Date: 7/9/00
Time: 9:54:14 AM

Comments

the pink cloud is a bit dark today because suddenly i am sober for one year, almost. i quit drinking smoking and the so called ' soft drugs' on the same day. it feels unreal that i made it, and this year has been rather difficult for me, lawsuit with my employer ( i won) hospital (got cured) girlfriend ( stopped relationship myself) so i found this here and i read and write this.


Member: anonymoose
Location: canada
Date: 7/9/00
Time: 10:27:33 AM

Comments

Can someone tell me about early warning signs for a recovering alcoholic?


Member: Terri
Location: Colorado
Date: 7/9/00
Time: 2:06:33 PM

Comments

Hi Everyone, The pink cloud was wonderful and as someone said before we must keep our feet on the ground. I was told this same thing when I was living in the clouds. For so many years I had lived a life where I wanted nothing but the good stuff and ignored the resposibilies of life. Then I went through the period carring the heavy chain of small children around my neck, unable to leave my house wouldnt take care of my self , unable to be happy in life, it was too much of a burden and sobriety had to come last. I had a sponser at the time who told me that if I was to stay sober I had to find the middle and go to any length to stay sober. I had been absent to my children through alcohol for years, I passed out on the couch every evening and booze was number one. Finally I got it if I was going to stay sober I had to go to any lengths (not at the cost of every one else.) I realized (with the help of a sponser, HP and fellow alcoholics) that going to any lengths, for me, meant finding a way to work my program. I got a big book, and read it. I bought AA tapes, and listened to them when I couldnt get to meetings. I used the phone and talked to a fellow alcoholic every day. And I attended ftf meetings at least twice a week. This worked for me, the key was working it. As far as medications, the big book answers that question. It clearly says that we have to be open mined to what others have to say, HP has the answers if we are listening. Thanks for letting me share