Member: Pablo R.
Location: Midhudson valley N.Y.
Date: 27 Jun 1999
Time: 09:45:49
Hello everyone, my name is Pablo alcoholic and drug addict. I would like to hear about gifts of the program. thanks for letting me share.
Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 27 Jun 1999
Time: 09:52:42
how about a discussion on relapsing..what pre ceided it ? sometimes i have relapse thinking,but through the grace of the program i havn't picked up. so how about talking about it? my name is tony and i'm a grateful alcoholic,thank you and have a good week(One Day At A Time)
Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 27 Jun 1999
Time: 10:05:03
sorry folks,by the time i entered my post i wasn't the firt one here,well Pablo two quick gifts from the program ,my self dignity ican stand tall again knowing i'm vesting something (spirtuality) back into me.Also the love of my family and friends i don't take them for granted it is a gift to have these people in my life.those are two things i didn't have or realize when i walked through those doors,thanks......i'm tony i'm an alcoholic
Member: Joel H.
Location: Sandhills, N.C.
Date: 27 Jun 1999
Time: 10:17:44
I'm Joel, an alcoholic. When I'm not doing what I should be doing to stay sober, then I am in danger of doing something that I don't want to be doing. All I have is a daily reprieve contingent on my spiritual condition, which hasn't been all that great lately. My will keeps getting in the way and so does my disease. But I keep plugging along because I am sick and tired of being miserable and drunk. I have been dry for 6 months now and after being in and out for 17 years I hit a bottom I believe I cannot repeat or relive. I was at the jumping off place and was allowed another chance. I got drunk because I wanted to, that's it. After AA screwed up my drinking and I knew I had a problem, things were never the same. We have a choice, go on to the bitter end, or accept spiritual help. We hit bottom, we get sober, or we really hit bottom. That's the hell I was living in, thank God and AA I don't have to live like I was anymore. I have the opportunity to live sober and sane, be less selfish, help others, and help myself. Thanks for the much needed topic fellow trudgers, and Take It Easy Does It One Day At A Time!
Member: Chuck
Location: Texas
Date: 27 Jun 1999
Time: 10:56:21
Hi, I'm Chuck and I'm an alcoholic. It's only by God's Grace and his doing for me today what I could never do for myself that I'm sober.
The first gift that comes to mind is that I'm sober today and have been since 5/27/84. In that time, God restored my sanity--one day at a time--and removed many of the fears that had led me to the bottle to start with. He Has Sent me a family to love, a wife and two beautiful children, as well as AAs everywhere. He Has Given me a way of life far superior to any I had ever imagined for myself. He Has Provided me a kit of spiritual tools, simple steps which are not easy, to allow me to continue in my recovery, one day at a time, for the rest of my life. He Has Changed my mindset and my goal: from an alcoholic who wished only to drink to the bitter end unbothered to a recovering alcoholic who prays for the strength daily to continue this way of life until they pat me in the face with a scoop.
Every gift, however, flows from the first listed--not drinking today. And for a guy like me, just the fact that I'm not after doing what you folks suggested, is a cornerstone miracle upon which a useful life can be built.
God Bless all here. Love from Texas.
Member: Corinne B.
Location: CC FL
Date: 27 Jun 1999
Time: 12:24:12
'Afternoon ((DMers))!! Corinne, Alcoholic here, there & everywhere!!
Being a recent re-tread, I am going to try & tie these two suggested topics together, because they seem to fit together from my viewpoint these days, Especially since I'm just coming back in. Here goes.
The greatest gift that AA has given me is to welcome me back with open arms, even though I went back out for 6.5 yrs after 6 years and 6 weeks sober. And why did I go back out? What thoughts preceded my getting drunk again? Simply stated, paraphrasing the BB, I wanted to believe and/or prove that I could drink like a normal human being again. Thanks.
Member: Bruce N
Location: Houston, Tx
Date: 27 Jun 1999
Time: 13:32:42
Hi, I'm Bruce and I'm alcoholic. The gifts that come to mind for me are love,patience,kindness,wisdom,selflessness and most of all, a true since of humility. It has been of great comfort to know that there is one who has ALL power and that it is not me! God shows me each and every day why my love for him should grow stronger. Day by day, step by step, meeting by meeting. By God's Grace I'm sober now since June 8th, 1973...for that I'm truley humbled and grateful. God bless you all.
Member: Sarah B
Location: Southern Indiana soybean field
Date: 27 Jun 1999
Time: 13:36:15
Sarah, alkie here. Thanks Pablo & Toni--great topics from both of you. First I'd like to share about my relapse. It was really very simple & POTENTIALLY DEADLY: Things were going really WELL in my life & after 5 years of not drinking, I FORGOT the 1st step. It was the typical thinking "I can handle it now." But I couldn't. Then it took me 7 years of drinking to dig myself down deep enough to need to take that 1st step again. That is why for me the 1st step is the most important step, all else hinges on that. My goal now is to never forget that I am POWERLESS OVER ALCOHOL. It was so easy to forget & that is downright scary for me. So for me the relapse was precipitated by getting too comfortable in the good life that my non-drinking had made possible. Ironic, isn't it? But I hope I've learned a powerful lesson as a result:REMEMBER to redo, rethink that 1st step if EVER I think I can pick up that first drink again. Which brings me to the other topic of the gifts of sobriety. I want to emphasize that I am a grateful alcoholic. If it weren't for this disease I have, I don't know if I'd ever have tried to figure myself out, tried to come to a self-knowledge of the type we learn in the 12 steps: the utter freedom that comes from letting go. And as sidelines to that, I am now able to connect with other people in a much more real way, which has really made a big difference at home w/my spouse. I'm also clearer headed at work, less depressed, have more energy, & I FEEL GOOD IN THE MORNING!!!! All of these things & more are priceless, wonderful gifts that I know I can only have in sobriety. I don't post much, but I read the posts almost every day. I have learned so much from all of you, & feel supported by you in my recovery, in our mutual recovery. Thanks to everyone, and thanks to the techies who keep this site going for all of us.
Member: Avril G
Location: DRIFFIELD UK
Date: 27 Jun 1999
Time: 14:50:05
Thanks for the topic {{{PABLO}}} (fancy meeting you here??) And congrats on your 1st AA birthday!! The finest gift which AA recovery has given me is a conscience, patience, tolerance, and an understanding of 'Love' which I never had in my life before. Before AA, I only ever 'loved' someone between the sheets. I now know that that IS NOT love. Today, I tell at least a dozen people 'I Love You', (both male and female - and I am NOT ambidextrous!!) and I know that it is the greatest love of all, which gives me a reminder of another gift of sobriety, I love ME today, otherwise, I would be unable to love all of you!!
{{{SARAH}}} I also feel good in the morning (A MIRACLE) I love to wake up early in the morning, since it makes for a longer day, and that from someone who would stay in bed until at least lunchtime, AND go back to bed before 9pm (8 hrs a day was the most this alkie could cope with!!! Today I have the gardening bug (another miracle) I have just moved house, and spent lots of time (but very little money - 'borrowing' plant cuttings from friends/family's gardens) and I take great pride in sitting in the sun (when it shines) watching the garden grow!! I planted four large tubs today, and just as I had finished, the heavens opened, and there was a mega downpour of rain!! (with coincidences like this, who needs GOD?? LOL)
Today, I write out on paper a gratitude list, every day (brought about by recent events, which have caused a little upset in my life, i.e. divorce, house moves - 2 in 3 months) And there is so much to be grateful for in this alkie's life today. Top of my list is, of course sobriety, but because of the AA programme, and the fact thet I am connected to the internet, I have met so many wonderful like-minded people, one of which holds a very special place in my heart and in my life, and I thank God daily for putting this person in my life. Our friendship has progressed to a weekly telephone call, which I really look forward to, and I am truly grateful for so many wonderful sobriety gifts, and thanks, again, Pablo for the topic. I could list hundreds of gifts of sobriety, but no-one else would have room to share, so I will briefly also say {{TONY}} Another wonderful topic, of which I DO HAVE much experience, having reached almost 9yrs sobriety, after 16yrs in AA. The only reason I can think of that I drank is - I LOST MY GRATITUDE!! My first sponsor would always ask, whenever I rang with a problem, "Are you grateful, today, Avril?" When I answered, "Yes" She would reply, "Well, good, because a grateful alcoholic will NEVER drink again, remember always to be grateful, there is always something to be grateful for"
Love to all of you, and please keep coming back, I NEED YOU ALL.
Goodie@tesco.net
Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, AZ
Date: 27 Jun 1999
Time: 15:34:18
Hi Family, My name is Bill and I am an alcoholic. I been sober ever since I learned how. The promises, that are usually refered to from pages 83 and 84 have all come true as a result of working the first 8 Steps and being in the 9th. But, the promises important to me are the "invisible" promises. The ones rarely mentioned. Especially in the 10th, where I am told that sanity has returned and that I react sanely and normally. And this has happened automatically.
As far as relapses, The answer is very simple. We do not follow the directions and we go back out. The meetings, alone do not keep me sober. The only thing that stands between me and my next drink is a God of my understanding. And the only way this alcoholic can find that God is through the Steps. I have found that missing meetings onde in a while will not necessarily get me drunk. I ask but one question of a person who is lucky enough to make it back. "Did you do and 11th Step the morning you when out?" Invariably the answer was no.
For those interested in Bill Silkworth's grapevine article entitled "Slips and Human Nature" Please write az-bill@primenet.com and CC to cool_male@hotmail.com I will be back on the road in a week or so and Cool_male is my traveling address.
Dr. Silkworth's ("The Doctor's Oponion)is very clear and informative. It is normal for an alcoholic to drink. The trick is to learn how "not to drink". One more thing. In spite of what you hear, if you are lucky enough to make it back to these rooms, the only thing you have lost is you sobriety date. You still have all the recovery information that you had before in your head. So just renew you faith and press on Love in Service and the Fellowship.. Bill
Member: Duane M.
Location: Auburn N.Y.
Date: 27 Jun 1999
Time: 16:46:05
Good afternoon family,my name is Duane and I am a real alcoholic.The gifts in this program are never ending.When I was drinking I had lost my children to my ex's.Today they live with me and I am able to take care of them like a responsible parent should.I have more than just the clothes on my back and I really know how to truly love today.I have emotions that I thought were gone forever,and tons of graditude. As for relapse,well for me it was tring to handle all the little things at once instead of piecemealing them.Just a month short of five years(Sobriety Lost It's Priority) and I went on a four day binge.I almost lost my children I had worked so hard for,my job and myself.Two weeks later I had gone out for one more night. The one which was the(Suicidal Leep Intothe Past).I did Drugs got into a fight and don't remember a whole lot of it. Back to another gift of this A.A.(Tradition Three).I came back again and this time I am doing AND Living the steps as suggested by the ones before me.The first time is a gift anytime after you have to work for it and I am working my tail off,I have three to take care of. Thanks for letting me share
Member: Bill T.
Location: Ridgefield Wa
Date: 27 Jun 1999
Time: 17:05:41
Hello to everyone out there, My name is Bill I'am alcoholic. relaps, well I only have one thing to say about that. I belive that if a person check his or her reasons for going back out, they will find that it was planed. Sorry but that is the way I see it. I have been in God's hands now for 20yrs plus. in this program. Pablo the gifts of the program come to those that work this program. And that is one day at a time. The promise are there but again you have to work to get them and keep working so that you will not lose them. It's like don't take that first drink and you won't get drunk. So if you work your program you will get gift's and keep them but if you don't work your program you won't keep them. Thank's Bill
Member: Chris C.
Location: Ottumwa, Iowa
Date: 27 Jun 1999
Time: 17:24:38
Thanks for sharing Duane. Hi everybody. My name is Chris and I'm an alcoholic.
The greatest gift I've recieved is hope. I lived on a rollercoaster of emotional ups and downs for so long that I lost all hope of it ending (except tragically, one way or another, and I tried to avoid that.) I lived, resigned to the fact that I would die drunk. I don't have to live like that anymore. Thank God.
Today, I live with the hope and faith that all the insanity in my life (and in others') will and does make sense.
Thanks for letting me share. I'll pass.
Member: Geri W
Location: Va
Date: 27 Jun 1999
Time: 17:30:35
Geri, a very grateful alcoholic here. Thanks to God, I don't have any experience (yet) with relapses. But I do have a great deal of experience with the promises coming true.And I didn't have to "work" for them to come true for me. All I have to do is live the principles I have been taught in the program while doing the 12 steps.I do the maintenance steps every day, I keep my side of the street clean, don't drink, trust God and help others. He does all the rest - just like He promised. I keep it really simple. I suit up and show up and try to do the next right thing in all situations. I ask for His care, direction and Grace throughout my day. It works for me like it will for any who are honest, open and willing.
Member: Harold B.
Location: Duck River, TN
Date: 27 Jun 1999
Time: 17:55:34
Hello,folks. I'm Harold and I'here to listen and learn. I expect to stay sober and avoid becomming alcoholic.
Member: Loori D
Location: Ottawa
Date: 27 Jun 1999
Time: 18:49:41
Lorri Alki Here. My gift i recieved from AA was serenity,helpfullness sharing, and caring.Through the support of AA and my friends I would not be able to reconize the signs of relapse,with great care I now no when I'm heading for that first DRINK, any excuse will do we really don't need one.I try to stay focused on today and I can make it through with a little prayer, and turning it over HIS WILL NOT MINE BE DONE. Myself and HP get me over that hurdle to face another day Keep the faith and keep coming back
Member: TDV
Location: MISSISSIPPI
Date: 27 Jun 1999
Time: 19:30:12
I KEEP RELAPSING AND CANNOT SEEM TO MAKE IT WORK. I KNOW ALL THE BUZZWORDS AND THINGS I AM SUPPOSED TO DO BUT THEY DO NOT HELP. MAYBE I SHOULD TRY THE FIRST STEP AGAIN.
Member: Kelly M.
Location: Ft. Lauderdale
Date: 27 Jun 1999
Time: 20:00:55
Hi Family , I'm an alcoholic and my name is Kelly. I'm sober today by GOD's Grace in SPITE of myself. In earlie recovery I couldn't understand how this could be a "gift" if I had to work so hard for it, at 27 days sober I decided it was to hard and quit AA. The gift for me was in being welcomed back with open arms into this spiritual fellowship where I found a God of my understanding through all of you. I was told I only had to do the 1st Step perfectly, and its no coincidence that the 1st word of the 1st step is "WE". And in the last couple of 24hrs. I havent had to feel alone Today I am grateful for each of you for giving so freely this gift to me. Thankyou
Member: Joan W
Location: Upstate NY
Date: 27 Jun 1999
Time: 20:12:08
Hi Everyone;
I am an alcoholic, my name is Joan.
Not all that long ago, I could not face the day, or anything (good or bad) that it brought without drinking. The greatest gift I have ever been given is that now, a day at a time, I have been able to face whatever the day brings without alcohol. I don't necessarily handle all things gracefully, but I try to handle all things gratefully. I recognize that this is the greatest gift I have ever or will ever be blessed with, and I believe that if I were to take this gift lightly, it would all be gone in a heartbeat. And, for this alcoholic, I do not believe there would be any second chance. So, each morning, I thank God for this gift, and I ask him to help me be the person He would have me be as I live this day. And, at night I thank him for having stayed sober throughout this day.
The promises of AA and many other gifts have come as the result of living the AA program, working the steps, and following the suggestions of those who have been put in my path by my Higher Power.
Thank you all for being here. God Bless us every one.
Love, Joan
Member: Amy J
Location: Iowa
Date: 27 Jun 1999
Time: 20:34:10
Good evening. Amy alcoholic.
The best gift I have received since being in the group is the true feeling of belonging that I searched for in the bars and bottles. I did'nt feel that I deserved to be loved or even liked when I first came here. I have a wonderful sponsor who loves me unconditionally.
Just today, they all came back from a 4th step retreat that I was not able to attend. I went to see everyone and met some new people in the process. I was embraced and made to feel a part of even though I had never met these people.
Today is a true gift because I have a choice to be sober.
Peace and love.
Member: Bob M.
Location: Va.
Date: 27 Jun 1999
Time: 20:57:23
Hello everyone, The greatest gift that I have received is the ability to live without regret anymore.After 25+ years of raising hell,missing school, losing jobs, lost love, rehab, prison, and broken health, I spent most of my drinking time trying to forget my drinking time. As time went by, regret for the past weighed heavy.
Through AA I found my (H)igher (P)ower and through my HP, I found forgiveness.
Thanks for being here. Bob M. Alcoholic cheldow1@athome.com <lose the "at">
Member: Lanie R.
Location: S.E. Arizona
Date: 27 Jun 1999
Time: 20:58:17
Hi, My name is Lanie and I am an Alcoholic. The gifts I have received from the Program Of Alcoholice Anonymous are so many it wouyld be impossibe for me to select just a few. Each morning I thank my higher power for the wonderful gift of a sober life. Love of Life is what I am trying to say. I found out that I am really Okay and not the horrable person I had made myself out to be. I fell many times before I had that spritual awakening. The biggest gift I received was the program of AA and a wonderful home group. Thanks for listening...
Member: Billy M.
Location: Omaha, NE
Date: 27 Jun 1999
Time: 21:01:12
Hi I'm Bill and I'm an alcoholic.... What has this way of life given me? Through A.A. i have found a higher power. He was always there but I had him kept in a bottle. Today I am truly free. I no longer dread taking that first drink because I know that my higher power in all his wisdom has taken away that obsession to drink ole demon rum. I even have the freedom to "fake it until I make it." With the freedom of thought and action I have a good chance of leading a serene life. I guess all I can say about those who are really struggling with this way of life we lead is to get the God business,keep coming back, use the telephone and get a sponsor. It sure is a heck of a lot better than the alternative of insanity or death..
Member: ALLEN, S
Location: NORTHERN WI
Date: 27 Jun 1999
Time: 22:11:16
HELLO I'AM STEVE, I'AM DUALY DIAGNOEST..I HOPE THAT I'AM IN THE RIGHT GROUP..
WHAT GIFT HAS AA GIVEN ME..WELL LATELY ALL OF THE GUILT AND SHAME OF MY SET BACK, HAS BEEN REVEILED TO ME AND IT ALL CAME TOGETHER LIKE A PUZZLE..WHAT I MEAN IS, I FOUND THE ONE WHO POISENED ME AND GOT ME THINKING GOOFFY. WHERE DID I FIND HIM..BUT AT A AA MEETING, ACTING LIKE HE WAS GOD AND THAT HE WAS EXPLAINING TO EVERYONE HOW HE WAS ABLE TO MAKE SOMEONE BOW DOWN TO HIM, AND HOW HE MADE THEM SAY THEY WHERE POWERLESS OVER HIM..IT'S BEEN A 10 YEAR STRUGLE, IN AND OUT OF TREATMENT CENTERS..MY LIFE IN WICH WAS HAPPY AND WORTH LIVING WITH A FAMILY THAT I USED TO HAVE, A GOOD JOB AND GOOD FRIENDS THAT I USED TO HAVE..HAS BEEN ALL TURNED AROUND INTO JUNK..BUT AFTER THREE FAILED ATTEMPTS ON MY LIFE, BY THE ASS HOLE ANONAMOUSE SUPORT GROUP THAT HE MANAGDED TO MANIPULATE..OF COME TO MY SENCES AND COME TO THE REALIZATION THAT THEIR IS A HIGHER POWER, MUCH STRONGER THAN A SUPORT GROUP OF MIDDLE SIBLING,SCREWED UP INDIVIDUALS WHO KEEP SCREWING NOT ONLY THEIR LIVES UP BUT ANYONE THEIR ASSOCIATED WITH. THEN THEY RUN CRYING AND BLAMING EVERYONE IN SIGHT, EVEN ALCOHOL FOR THEIR DALEMA. UNLIKE ANYONE ELSE WHO COULD JUST LEAVE, I WAS IN THE MILITARY AND THIS MAN WAS A LEIGIONAIR. AND USED HIS POSITION TO GET INTO MY HOME TO FEED ME THE CRAP. I WANT REVENGE SO BAD THAT THEIR IS TIMES I LOCK MYSELF INTO MY HOUSE BECAUSE I'AM SCARED ON WHAT I MAY DO..IF I COULD GET IT BACK..THE LIFE THAT AA HAS PROMISED ME..THINGS WOULD BE EASIER FOR ME TO DEAL WITH..YES I NO LONGER CARRY AND GUILT OR SHAME..I WILL GET MYSELF STRONGER SO I CAN HANDLE THE LIFE THAT THEY PROMISE..I CARRY A DIAMOND RING AND I WILL USE IT TO REACH SATISFACTION. I CAN NOT GO TO A MEETING AND RECIEVE THE RESPECT I DISERVE. WHY ARE THE AA MEMBERS SO HEARTLESS AND MISSJUDGEMENTAL?
Member: Texas Girl
Location: Texas
Date: 27 Jun 1999
Time: 22:14:29
Hi, Texas Girl, alcoholic. Gifts: now I go to sleep at night instead of passing out; and I wake up in the morning instead of coming to. Plus, when I leave the house I can be confident that I can predict my behavior out in the world--no more standing around trying to mind my own business and "suddenly" ending up drunk. No more hangovers, and I can remember what I did and said. Oh, and my family and friends actually like me now. Plus I'm happy. Pretty good return for just putting the plug in the jug.
Relapse: by the grace of God and this program I have not had to suffer a relapse to date, but when I hear those in meetings coming back in after conducting more "research," their story usually usually includes "I stopped going to meetings...."
Somebody wrote that they might have to do step one again. Well, yeah. We need to "get it" that we don't just do these steps once and that's it. We need to remind ourselves every single day that we are powerless over alcohol...it waits for us all the time no matter how long we are sober, and it wants to kill us. It's really that simple.
Have a great week, y'all.
Member: JohnO
Location: Maryland
Date: 27 Jun 1999
Time: 22:48:19
My name is JohnO, an alcoholic. Grateful for finding out that I really am an alcoholic! I never thought I was until I came in and "compared myself in" to the program. Now that I know I have all the same characteristics as we all do, I can take advantage of the E,S&H that everyone shares. Grateful for finding true friends finally in my life! Grateful for the year of being sober! Grateful for my sponsor! Grateful that I can accept things I can't change. That I can ask for help. That I can get through the bad things that are always part of life without needing to escape reality anymore. Grateful for the steps. Grateful for the love. One day at a time, getting over the old stuff and making room for tomorrow's miracle. Even if you (or I) slip, the program is here to catch you and set you back on the road of progress, not perfection. Thats a lot to be grateful for! JohnO
Member: Kim L.
Location: Salida, CA
Date: 27 Jun 1999
Time: 23:13:54
Hi everyone my name is Kim and I am a very grateful recovering alcoholic, addict. I would like to respond to Tong G.'s topic of relapse. Let me say that I have spent 22 years going around in circles with a year of sobriety here, six months there, etc. and have been in some the best care or rehabilitation centers. As of today, I have remained clean and sober for 3 years, 2 months and 27 days. I see such a difference this time around and know exactly what has made that difference. Something that I never thought I would be so proud of. I, "came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity", "made a conscious decision to turn my will and life over to the care of God as I understood him". It has made all the difference in my life, and my acceptance has changed my children's lives and put them on a path to freedom from the chains of alcoholism. Because even if they should choose to take that road, the Lord is already planting the seeds of sobriety in them. He is giving them knowledge. My life is a miracle. An absolute miracle.
Member: Pete E
Location: NY
Date: 27 Jun 1999
Time: 23:40:29
Pete E,alcoholic, Thanks for the topic Pablo.The gifts of the program for me are the ability to live my life with some measure of serenity, one day at a time, without picking up a drink or a drug. Those things are only made possible by the greatest gift of all: the consciousness of the presence of God in my life. Without Him it wouldn't be possible. Life goes on exactly like it's supposed to and whether I like it or not is not paramount. I know that He is there- always has, always will. Thank you AA for guiding my hand to His.
Pete
Member: Joe A.
Location: Portland, Oregon
Date: 27 Jun 1999
Time: 23:55:16
Hi, Joe A. of Portland here. Nowadays, what we called "slips" when I first got here are being called relapses. One easy-to-remember word we used was SLIP (Sobriety Loses Its Priority). For me, sobriety HAS TO BE the most important thing in my life. The moment I start considering something else more important than my sobriety, I put myself in real danger of losing that sobriety and the "more important thing" as well! FIRST THINGS FIRST!
Several people have mentioned the 12 Promises of AA. I like to call them the "fringe benefits of sobriety." There are two fringe benefits which, as far as I know, are not mentioned anywhere in AA literature, and they are the first ones we get! As long as I live, if I don't take that first drink, I will never have to detox again. Now, ain't that a happy thought? The other is, if I don't take that first drink, I never again will find myself "coming to" in a jail cell, not knowing what I've been charged with. That is scary, believe me, to not have any defense against any charges.
When I got to AA, I did not know how to live, was afraid to die and couldn't stand it. All of these things have changed during the 28+ years that have gone by since my last drink and, with the help of my HP, I started to evolve further and further away from the man I used to be.
THANK YOU, GOD!
Member: Joe E.
Location: Michigan
Date: 28 Jun 1999
Time: 00:36:44
Hi I'm Joe and I AM an alcoholic.
These are two topics that for me are intertwined today. I've been a member of AA for 5 years and right now I kinda feel like a newcomer to the program. You see I decided about a year ago that I didn't need to go to as many meeting as I was. So, I made a silly excuse to miss a meeting. Then I made another, then another. Soon I got to the point, where missing meetings was not so bad, because I was doing okay. If I could go a week, then a month, without a meeting and not drink, I must be doing something right. I wasn't talking to other alcoholics but I was still doing good. I didn't have to say that "serenity prayer" as often, like I did at every meeting, because I still had serenity. I didn't have to think about taking my inventory or making amends. I didn't even have to appoligize to people I hurt in the past either. Hell, I wasn't even reminded of the people I hurt in the past. I didn't have any shortcommings. I didn't have any character defects any more, I was still sober. I didn't have to tell anybody about my problems or mistakes. I didn't even have to think about them. I was doing a pretty good job of running my life. I was like a "normal" person again. I was doing great, BUT my life was becomming unmanagable. The only thing I had going for me was, that I wasn't drinking. No serenity, no sobriety, just not drinking.
I had slipped, not as far as drinking, but close. I was one half of Step 1 away from taking that first drink. Once again I stood at the turning point. Thank God, I didn't think I was more powerfull than alcohol. Because I may never have come back.
Today, I need meetings. I need to talk to other alcoholics, F2F and on-line. I realize now that without meetings, I can't work the 12th Step. Then I'll let up on Step 11, then 10, then 9, etc. Soon, I'm back to Step 1. Who's going to know? or care? Why should I care? Because I'm an alcoholic and I need to work all the Steps of AA or my life becomes unmanageable. That's why!
I'm becoming reaquainted with the gifts of AA. The greatest gift is the SPIRIT OF FELLOWSHIP. Without it there would be no AA. When I walked back into the meeting with, ashamed and humbled by my actions, I was welcomed with open arms. I felt love, caring, sympathy and support from the Fellowship of AA. I gifts I have recieved for myself are minor, compared to what all of you have given me. They say we have to "give it away to keep it," we need to learn and be willing to be selfless. So I think the greatest gifts I've recieved from AA are the ones you give away.
Thanks for being there for me.
Joe.
Member: Rebekah T.
Location: Tokyo, Japan
Date: 28 Jun 1999
Time: 05:51:35
Joe A.-you are exactly right!! Was just reading through what everyone has written on this topic. I agree-my sobriety has to be the ABSOLUTE number one priority in my life. If not, I become restless, irritable and discontent and then who knows how far I will be from my next drink. Have been experiencing difficulty with my program lately as I moved to Japan from a large city in the US and I have been spoiled. It now takes me 90 minutes one way on a train to get to a meeting. It's hard for me not to go to meetings every day but it is just not a feasible option right now. I miss my home group and AA with a well defined service structure and people willing to have service commitments. Helping the still suffering alcoholic is a definite gift in my sobriety and it's hard for me to be so far away from the "AA Action". The Grapevine and different websites, including this one, definitely help, though. Nothing in my life would get better if I put a drink or a drug into my body. Nothing! Everything I have and all my friends and family are in my life BECAUSE I am sober. I do not want to be me if I'm drinking. BUT, today I LOVE ME sober!!! That is the best gift.
Member: Drew
Location: San Antonio
Date: 28 Jun 1999
Time: 11:07:54
Good morning from the home (finally!) of the NBA Champs--The Spurs! The final game and whole weekend was a real feel good for the city and that's one of my gifts: the ability to share joy freely and soberly!
I WILL HAVE ONE YEAR OF SOBRIETY ONE WEEK FROM SATURDAY! THAT'S JULY 10TH!!
OK, now that that's out of the way...another very recent gift is a reawakening of my creative side. I've written short stories and poetry for years, but never persued it in any meaningful way. Now I'm taking the steps to do that. Actually have a small piece being published in a local church paper! It's a start to a long held dream.
Additionally, I'm taking much better care of my body and have dropped some weight in the past three months thru more veggies and fruit and more exercise.
Another one is a marked comfort level in dating and romance. I'm confident about what I'm looking for and not in any hurry to "meet the right guy", which is a big change over my drinking years. I'm learning to love ME first.
You know, I said at a meeting the other day (topic was God's grace) that I always knew God (my conscious higher power since I learned to pray as a child) loved me, but now I think he LIKES me too.
I think I'm becoming the person he always wanted me to be. I'm doing my bit to fullfill his will.
I look forward to so many more promises to come. And they will, as long as I do what I know I have to.
Relapse? Sure, I've imagined what it would be like to "have a couple", and it always ends the same way: angry, withdrawn, hurting and ready to self destruct. The answer is no, nein, nyet.
Life like this is full of promise and hope and excitement. Life like that has been done and I don't ever want to be the flat rock a cow pisses on again.
Thanks to all my unseen brothers and sisters out there! Our prayers are powerful!
Drew
Member: Bruce R.
Location:
Date: 28 Jun 1999
Time: 14:43:36
My name is Bruce and I AM an alcoholic. I've been back on the booze for six years. Just the other day I had an insedent that almost cost me my job again.Now back sober again I finaly realize That alcohol is the blame again. Keep it in your mind all the time that it will not go away.
Member: Bryan F.
Location: Nashville, Tn
Date: 28 Jun 1999
Time: 15:42:11
Hi my name is Bryan and I am an alcoholic and an addict. I have been given many gifts from the program of aa. I have seen how it can work for me and many others that follow the simplle suggestions of this program. Recently I have let many of those gifts slip right past my reach by going back out and trying it my way once more. It still doesn't work my way. Today I have 3 days of sobriety and it is hard as hell to start all over again, but I am because I want those "gifts" back in my life and the only way I can get those back is by the hand of aa. I am very grateful recovering alcoholic and today I am ok. Thanks
Member: Kathy H
Location:
Date: 28 Jun 1999
Time: 17:13:34
My name is Kathy and I'm an alcoholic.
The greatest single gift for me has been faith in something greater than myself which is kind and good. I know that this "higher power" will provide me with the opportunity to learn lessons. The teaching may be uncomfortable for my self-willed,ego driven self. But the outcome will ALWAYS be for the best.
I learned that because today I can see that the thing that I feared the most and that caused me untold pain (my alcoholism)has brought me the greatest joys and gifts in my life.
My relapse was a LONG slow process, and is pretty typical of what I have heard others say. Stopped working the steps, stopped going to meetings, stopped being greatful, stopped praying. Drank after two yearsof no AA and prayer, a couple of days after my 7th anniversary.
Today I know that I do not have to go back there. I try and show my gratitude by active participation in my home group, regular service work, daily thanks to the god of my understanding, and a daily 10th step check list.
Thanks for listening and being here!!!
Member: Michael O
Location: NH
Date: 28 Jun 1999
Time: 17:58:28
My greatest gift has been the people I have met who know how to share there thoughts in a positive and loving way. They have the grace to help you work the progam in a non-offensive manner that promotes growth. Even though my outer self is surrounded with termoil, my inner self is getting spiritualy stronger every day to help me deal with life on lifes terms. I thank my HP every day for this gift.
Member: Dale S
Location: California
Date: 28 Jun 1999
Time: 18:23:28
There are many gifts that I have received but I must agree with Joan that freedom from alcohol has got to be the most precious. Self dignity that is a good one to. I also have received a feeling that I am doing what God wants me to be doing. I have many friends due to the AA fellowship. I have a feeling I can deal with anything that life dishes out and still not have to drink. A freedom to pursue my spiritual searching. The deal here is the steps. I had to find someone I could trust to guide me through the steps. The steps contain every thing I need if I just work them persistently to the best of my ability. I try to make steps 10, 11, and 12 part of my daily living but I always keep 1-9 in the back of my mind working on them as necessary. I also try to redo the steps every time I help somebody else through them. The gifts are contained in the steps and we can either be satisfied with cheese and crackers or we can go for the full course meal. Another gift that I have received is that I am moderately happy most of the time and at times I am truly happy, joyous, and free. Thank you very much.
Member: Kristen P.
Location: So. California
Date: 28 Jun 1999
Time: 23:23:40
hi my name is kristen p. and i am an alcoholic. i have received so many gifts in the last 18 months that i have been sober. the first gift was that i was introduced to my higher power then he introduced me to me!!!! i got to find out what i liked and didn't like. i had a baby that was taken from me at birth because she tested dirty and god has given her back to me too. i have a eleven year old daughter that was put back in my life and a beautiful family that was also put back into my life that i hadn't seen in four years due to my drinking. i could go on and one about all the gifts i received. my life is slowly picking up and i am very grateful for that. i got to go to college and learn about these computers and i think it is so cool how no matter where you are if there is a computer and the web you can visit places like this!!!!! hope to come back soon. kristen p.
Member: enigmatic one
Location: AA
Date: 28 Jun 1999
Time: 23:51:19
well, I don't go to "other" fellowships and try to 'influence' their philosophy of "Drugs vs Alcohol" or say I am an addict AND an alcoholic....... Why do so MANY people want (or NEED) to say that they are an ALCOHOLIC AND.............????? Is it something you heard someone else say and you thought it was the "right thing" to say? Do you want to change AA and it's Traditions?? IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE AA, THEN DO IT..... BUT, DON'T DO IT SUCH A PASSIVE IDIOLOGICAL FASSION! Jeez! "Singleness of Purpose" is vital part of AA's past and FUTURE...... please don't say you are an addict...... I know.....this smacks in the face of censorship...... i don't want to censore anyone any time........ however, I do feel like there is a pervasive influence going on in the meetings where the oldtimers don't like "drugologues"and the addicts want to say a drug is a drug is a drug....... hazleton is NOT AA..... hazleton is a "nonprofit" organization...... NOT AA!!!!! there are many instanses where an 'outside' organization will place their 'brand' on AA....."the 4th step 'guide'"...... well....i will say more in the future........ i have had this bottled up for years..... and i just had to unload it.....thanks...... oh and if I drink, it is because I got thirsty...... Period
Member: Rey Q
Location: AZ
Date: 28 Jun 1999
Time: 23:58:23
uh,ok,I liked what enigmatic one said-mostly anyhow. I am Rey an Alcoholic, and I would like to listen, thank-you.
Member: Hank G.
Location: Maine
Date: 29 Jun 1999
Time: 06:05:59
My name is Hank. I am an alcoholic. I celebrated my 13th year two weeks ago. I still have the urge to drink. AA is my salvation. I cling to the passage "...not forget the past"
thank you for being here
Member: Hank G.
Location: Maine
Date: 29 Jun 1999
Time: 06:08:34
Relapse?
You speak of my greatest fear.
Member: Hank G.
Location: Maine
Date: 29 Jun 1999
Time: 06:18:48
Enigmatic One,
The reason we say " ... I am an alcoholic." is because we must openly admit this. Otherwise we can deny it to ourselves and there is nothing to dispute us.
Like so many others, you sound like you would like to change AA. You won't because you can't. So many have tried; failed; and relapsed. I go to AA because I have to share; because I have to have support; and I have to support others. Otherwise I will relapse.
Member: Lesley S.
Location: New Mexico
Date: 29 Jun 1999
Time: 08:05:42
Gifts of the program...really seeing the difference between going through a day sober and going through a day needing alcohol. My husband and I just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary with an Alaskan cruise - 16 years of the 20 in recovery. To be on a cruise in sobriety is wonderful - fresh headed early in the morning standing on the deck looking at God's wonder - how many people hungover in bed missing that? Doing fun things like Bingo, dance contests, simulated horse-races, just walking around the promenade deck - early to bed, early to rise. So grateful for this gift that we could enjoy together - planning and saving for 3 years. So glad to find you all here - have a blessed day and remember that the program teaches us we all have choices.
Member: Jean-Claude T.
Location: Belgium
Date: 29 Jun 1999
Time: 08:17:19
My name is JC and I’m an alcoholic. Pablo, thanks for the topic it’s a good one for me today. First gift I got was no hang overs; then maybe a little more self respect; then a program to work on, one day at a time, to lead a decent life; the fact I could look my wife and kids in the eyes and smile to them; the AA friends whose support, care, love and shares enable me to walk on the path of sobriety; the program in itself, a program to work on, always one day at a time, to feel glad and grateful of what I got; an HP to help me when mankind can’t do it; the ability to try and correct my character defects; those sober years that have been added to my life; this wonderful site and the beautiful AA people in cyberland who I thank for having let me share.
Member: Steve K
Location: Cleveland
Date: 29 Jun 1999
Time: 11:20:12
My biggest gift came in the form of the judge who sent me to AA, If not for her I could not look my kids in the eye today.
At first it was resentment, until I heard some of the stories just like mine.
Before I was fooling myself, in AA you fool no one.
Member: Heather
Location: San Diego
Date: 29 Jun 1999
Time: 13:40:29
Hi my name is Heather and I am an alcoholic.
I think the discussing the "gifts" that AA has given us is a great topic because it always brings us back to gratitude and as so many people have already shared gratitude is good for sobriety. I celebrated 12 years of sobriety in March of this and for that I am truly grateful.
One of the biggest gifts AA has give me is a family. It is a better family for me personally than the one I grew up in. It gives me more freedom and more support more patience and more loving guidance. The first two years in the program I went to a meeting just about everyday since then my meeting attendance has varied according to what has been going on in my life. I have admittedly experienced with an "optimal" meeting frequency for me. The great thing is when I am spreading myself thin I can always walk in to an AA meeting and feeling warm and secure. Because an AA meeting ALWAYS reminds me another of the biggest gifts that it has given me which is ...
THERE IS A GOD! And I need to maintain concious contact with that GOD! and AA taught me how to connect with a GOD of my understanding and maintain that connection. I have maintained my sobriety at times with the 11th step and not much else ... someone talked about being in Japan and not having available meetings. Someone else talked about asking people that went out if they did an 11th step that morning the morning they went out and the answer was invariably no.
As a real alcoholic though I have learned that I need a spiritual community, a fellowship to share my experiences about GOD .. for some reason I can be so forgetful from one day to the next about what god IS capable of and what I am NOT capable of ... AA provides me that spiriutal community. For these two things and many many many many more I am grateful for the gifts I have received from alcholics anonymous!
Member: Heather
Location: San Diego
Date: 29 Jun 1999
Time: 13:40:55
Hi my name is Heather and I am an alcoholic.
I think the discussing the "gifts" that AA has given us is a great topic because it always brings us back to gratitude and as so many people have already shared gratitude is good for sobriety. I celebrated 12 years of sobriety in March of this and for that I am truly grateful.
One of the biggest gifts AA has give me is a family. It is a better family for me personally than the one I grew up in. It gives me more freedom and more support more patience and more loving guidance. The first two years in the program I went to a meeting just about everyday since then my meeting attendance has varied according to what has been going on in my life. I have admittedly experienced with an "optimal" meeting frequency for me. The great thing is when I am spreading myself thin I can always walk in to an AA meeting and feeling warm and secure. Because an AA meeting ALWAYS reminds me another of the biggest gifts that it has given me which is ...
THERE IS A GOD! And I need to maintain concious contact with that GOD! and AA taught me how to connect with a GOD of my understanding and maintain that connection. I have maintained my sobriety at times with the 11th step and not much else ... someone talked about being in Japan and not having available meetings. Someone else talked about asking people that went out if they did an 11th step that morning the morning they went out and the answer was invariably no.
As a real alcoholic though I have learned that I need a spiritual community, a fellowship to share my experiences about GOD .. for some reason I can be so forgetful from one day to the next about what god IS capable of and what I am NOT capable of ... AA provides me that spiriutal community. For these two things and many many many many more I am grateful for the gifts I have received from alcholics anonymous!
Member: ALDO
Location: Colombia
Date: 29 Jun 1999
Time: 18:40:37
Hello friends
I first cama to AA in 1990, I clearly reemember the love and understanding I found, I tried to to the program my way, No Higger Power, I attend regular meetings for about eight months and that lasted me for another twelve months without alcohol, I went back and it took me seven years of drinking to come back, now I have been a few days dry not sober, I got help at rehab were they tookme through my first four steps and I am now presenting my fifth step to my sponsor.
To me it is miracle, that after all my years active a previous opportunitty my Higher Power is here for me, to tell the thruth the way I feel the second gift I have recived is AA itself, trough the groups here and trough you. I understand all the gifts come from HIM, HIMSELF being the first and foremost.
THANKYOU GOD, for beeing and for AA
Peace and love to you all, from ALDO an adict
Member: Roy S.
Location:
Date: 29 Jun 1999
Time: 20:41:49
The greatest gifts I have received since entering the program are patience, understanding, and a certain "peace of mind" that I didn't have before. It is still a daily struggle to kep the right thinking going, but I know now that I do not have to succumb to the thoughts of drinking when they come. It truly has been like shaking the monkey off my back. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: JCP ^\^
Location: W.Pa.
Date: 29 Jun 1999
Time: 23:37:16
"Unlike most of our crowd, I did not get over my craving for liquor much during the first two and one-half years of abstinence. It was almost always with me." - Dr. Bob's Story
J here, a grateful alcoholic:
One big nudge toward my spiritual awakening -- such as it was, but incredibly more than I supposed possible -- came in a MISquote.
A year and more after that last drink I still wanted a chaser. I don't remember the last drink, only a fringe of the blackout in which it happened. I had drunk daily for seven years. As I went around saying after about a years dry, "Used to all I did was drink; now all I do is don't drink."
The Dr. Bob misquote came in a discussion group, not even about any topic of mine -- somebody simply said: "Dr. Bob, the co-founder, said the desire to drink never left him." If it was not a misquote and you know a citation for it, I'd like to have it - actually, what he did say touched experience of my own.
What dawned on me that began to change everything was simply that WANTING TO DRINK was not the same as DRINKING.
My mind at first was slow to grasp any scope of AA. I was reminded by this week's double topic of gifts and relapse - opposite sides of a single reality. So how could I now take credit for something I could not then even imagine?
Since you guys are not all that smarter than I, the random misquote still makes crucial sense. One day at a time, but if that day looks too long, how about a meeting this evening?
Hang in there!
dixyflier@usa.net
Member: Eileen H.
Location: Queens, NY
Date: 29 Jun 1999
Time: 23:54:48
Welcome. I'm Eileen, a grateful, recovering alcoholic. The topics of gifts and relapse seem to go hand in hand, don't they? If you drink again . . . you will not enjoy the gifts sobriety can bring.
I was in AA for 9 months before I decided that I was "not" an alcoholic . . . just a problem drinker. After having 9 months of AA, I knew I could drink socially. Ha. It didn't happen overnight, it is progressive. But I got myself to a point where I did not enjoy drinking but NEEDED a drink to do ANYTHING. I could not be awake and not drink.
Thanks to the fact that I had been in AA for 9 months, when the day came that I could not stand on the train going to work, I called a friend and went to a meeting. I was so grateful for AA. It was there, like an old frined, waiting for all who need it to find it.
Like they say in our meetings, "This ain't pizza, we don't deliver". "You want sobriety, you gotta come here to get it". I cannot stay sober if I stay away from other alcoholics. I can easily forget what my life was like if I stay away from meetings. When my life has kept me from going to a meeting every day . . . I feel the effects of that. I need meetings to STAY sober. I need meetings to remind me of what it was like only 81 days ago. Yeah, it can be hard to not pick up. But I have to ask myself "Do you want to go right back to what you had?". The answer is always NO.
How can you possibly help yourself stay sober when the burning desire to pick up hits if you do not have a network of AA's to call on? How can you possibly keep a network going if you don't go to meetings? Seems to me that meetings are the medicine we need to stay sober. It's partly to be around and talk to other alcoholics, partly the communication, service helps a great deal, too.
You need to remember a few things to stay sober today the AA way. Get a sponsor and call your sponsor. Call them when you're doing ok even if it's just a 2 second call to say just that. If you call every day when you're feeling ok, it will be that much easier to call when the dreaded day comes that you "really need a drink" and then they can help. Get a home group. This is very important. Show up and speak up. Get people to see you there. Then when you don't show up someone is bound to call you to see WHY. If you are okay, you're bound to be VERY happy that someone thought to call you and if you're NOT okay you should be happy that someone called you, too. Get a commitment. Having a commitment helps you stay sober. It also gets you to a meeting when you didn't want to go. I learned these things from dropping them the first "go round" in AA. When I dropped my sponsor, my home group, and my commitment . . . very shortly thereafter I also dropped AA. Remember. AA doesn't need us. WE need AA.
There are times when it becomes very difficult for me to stay sober. There are times when it is very easy and I do not even think of drinking. It's all in the course of 24 hours, though. I can only think of staying sober today. TODAY is all we have. We can plan for tomorrow, true, but until it comes all we have is the 24-hour period we are living in. And that is what AA is all about. The premise of AA is that you remember to tell yourself that yeah, sure, you wanna drink tomorrow you do just that. But just for today, don't pick up that drink. Somehow, when tomorrow comes it's a lot clearer. And we usually do not want that drink that we wanted yesterday.
The gifts I received are many. I'm glad I can function, think and reason. I am thankful I know the reason why . . . because I am not drunk. To me, my gifts are that I'm not on the losing end any more. I've lost enough due to alcohol. My husband of 20 years died from alcohol at the age of 42. I've lost good jobs which means that I wasn't able to support my family like I should have been able to do. I lost my self-respect over and over again. I lost friends. Now that I'm not drinking I am also not losing any more. That's very precious to me. Lately, I've been on the acquiring side. I'm finding friends through AA and I'm gaining my self-respect back.
I am able to take care of myself and my family. This is wonderful and it's because I've learned H.O.W. Honesty Open Mindedness Willingness
I hope that you, too, will learn HOW. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Tacey C.
Location: Arizona
Date: 30 Jun 1999
Time: 00:16:51
Hi. My name is Tacey and I'm an alcoholic. I am sober today--that is a gift. A daily reprieve, contingent on the maintainance of my spiritual condition. Every day is a day when I must carry the vision of God's will into all of my activities. (paraphrased from pg. 85). My greatest gift is the book of Alcoholics Anonymous. My second greatest gift is the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. I say that because until I began doing what the book said, I couldn't enjoy or participate in the fellowship. I was too selfish and self-centered. I am a real alcoholic. If I had not followed the "clear-cut directions" given to me by those first recovering alcoholics, I would be drunk or dead. Probably dead. I came to this program with absolutely nothing, no car, no home, no kids, no husband, no family or friends, no money. All I had was a problem, a big problem. Alcoholism. That was a long time ago. It was hard and it is sometimes still hard. I will always be an alcoholic. I will always have things come up that hinder my growth and cause me to go back to the basics, back to the book. There is no way that I can begin to tell you all that this program has given me. No way. What I can say is that today I have all of the "things" I didn't have when I got here (except the husband!) and I am liked, loved, admired, respected (not by everyone, mind you!). But, you know what? I take absolutely no credit for it. All that I am, all that I can be is nothing less than fringe benefits of the "gift" of sobriety and the true program of Alcoholics Anonymous--found only in our textbook. Thank-you for letting me share.
Member: Jon N
Location: NorCal
Date: 30 Jun 1999
Time: 02:31:33
Jon, alcoholic, Gifts of the program? Well, for years, I couldn't understand why I couldn't drink like other people. Plenty of people called me an alcoholic. They were just calling me names. Then I met someone who called himself an alcoholic.He suggested that I might be one too. He asked me a few questions about myself and told me a few things about himself. Then he loaned me a copy of the big book. I was relieved to discover that there was a name for people like me. I was an alcoholic, and I had lost the ability to drink like other men. With that understanding, the need to drink left me. I am still having hard times, as some you who have read my occasional posts here know, but for all of that, I still don't think that I could get away with taking a drink. I'm one of those people who can't drink safely. As bad as things sometimes get, that continuing clarity is the biggest gift I can imagine.
Member: BOB E.
Location: DIXON,CA
Date: 30 Jun 1999
Time: 04:58:27
I'M BOB AND AN ALCOHOLIC. THIS MY FIRST VISIT TO THE NET. TONIGHT THE VERY LAST PERSON TO SHARE AT OUR MEETING TOLD OF HER HUSBAND GOING OUT AFTER ALMOST 6 YEARS. FOR 10 MINUTES SHE SHARED THE FRUSTRATION, HOPELESSNESS AND BETRAYL SHE IS EXPERIENCING. HER HUSBAND HAS PROGRESSED SO RAPIDLY IN LESS THAN A MONTH THAT THE FAMILY IS ABOUT TO HAVE HIM COMMITTED. YOUR PRAYERS AND GOOD THOUGHTS ARE APPRECIATED.
Member: cherie g.
Location: small michigan town
Date: 30 Jun 1999
Time: 08:28:35
Hi, my name is Cherie and I am a relapsed alcoholic. I was so excited to find this site. This is my first visit and I am sure it will not be my last. I too thought that I could go back out and drink like regular people do. I even had myself convinced that I had achieved that goal. Ha, ha, here I am facing my third drunk driving conviction. I am convinced that God was sending me a message to wake up and smell the roses. I am so grateful that I never hurt anyone else or left my children with the memory of a mother who was dead because she drank and drove. I am struggling with the court system now and will be sentenced July 15. I am scared and at times so miserable and think that it is unfair but I am grateful that things aren't worse as I know they could be. I lost a good job as a result of all this and now work part-time for a very measley wage but I have found small rewards in even that. I spend more time with my kids, I have a beautiful flower garden which is a valuable therapy for me and helps me find serenity in all the trouble I have put myself in. My husband just keeps building me more flower boxes and shows his love and support in my struggle against drinking. I am grateful for this program and the fact that you can mess up in the worst ways and always be welcomed back with open arms. I do not want to drink again and I know that if I keep coming to meetings I will get help to find the strength I need to stay sober. I have one question for anyone. As a result of my conviction the court requires a signature for each meeting I attend. Does a meeting such as this count? I am not able to drive anymore and my small community does not have that many meetings, many of which I cannot attend because of my work schedule. Would a judge accept a meeting such as this?
Member: Ernie P.
Location: Brasil
Date: 30 Jun 1999
Time: 10:03:02
It is really wonderful to be comunicating with other recovering alcoholics. What gifts have the program given me? The program has given me my life back. I was miserable and hopeless. Now I am living a very happy life. I know have a God in my life to my own understanding. Also, I have my dignity and integrity back. Now I live a life based on spiritual principles and before I was spiritual dead. Thank God for AA.
Member: DENNIS D
Location: CA
Date: 30 Jun 1999
Time: 10:32:09
HI MY NAME IS DENNIS IM ALCOHLIC THIS IS FIRST MEETING.BEEN TRYING TO GET HEAR FOR A LONG TIME. JUST ABOUT TO LOSE MY FAMILY.HOPEFULLY THIS IS THE FIRST DAY OF NEVER DRINKING AGAIN.
Member: Greg H.
Location: midwest
Date: 30 Jun 1999
Time: 10:40:04
Hello I'm Greg and I'm an alcoholic. Sober since Feb 15th 1987. Sobered up as a Loner in the Far East. AA has taught me that God cares about me, and not the harsh punishing God I was taught about as a kid. AA has given me a decent life not that vegetable existance I had. AA has given me a good home, excellent wife and kids. Most importantly (to me, anyhow). As long as I keep doing the AA work and not picking up a drink no matter what. I don't have to go back to that drunken hell again. An old timer told me once "If , after a person has been introduced to AA, a person drinks again...it's because they want to drink more than they want to be sober". This is how it has worked for me. AA is a top notch way of life. Thanks and take care.
Member: az-bill@primenet.com
Location: Sierra Vista AZ
Date: 30 Jun 1999
Time: 11:35:42
To Cherie G. I am glad you made it back. Too many do not. No matter what "advice" you get, the final authority will rest on the Judge. In my amends, I have found that as long as you are honest and straight forward and couteous most agencys will work with you. LOL. The IRS came my house (after hours) and helped me arrange a repayment plan that was afforable and comfortable. I owed over 8 years of taxes.
az-bill@primenet.com (the hyphon needs to be in there)
Member: Deb H.
Location: Nebraska
Date: 30 Jun 1999
Time: 13:31:00
Hello all, my name is Deb and Iam a alcoholic. Gifts of the program are really blessings to me, and I have many today that I can see and feel. One of the greatest of these blessing is that I have a God of my understanding today, and a trust that all will happen just the way it is surpose to happen. I may not always like it though, giggle. As long as I remain willing to do whatever it takes. Willing to face fear and feel the pain, my HP whom I called God will see me through it. I never have to be or feel alone agian. There are so many gifts of this program.
What I've seen as far as relapsing concern is when one doesn't follow the directions of the program such as: Go to face to face meetings, Get a sponsor (and use that sponsor), Read the Big Book, Work the steps (with your sponsor), and regardless of what goes on Don't Drink. This disease I have is waiting for me and if I don't do these simple things, it will get me and it will Kill me. Grateful for the program that teaches me how to live in sobriety. I pray I never lose the willingness to go to any length to stay clean and sober, after all I went what ever length to trash myself.
Keep coming Back!!!
Member: John L
Location: WNY
Date: 30 Jun 1999
Time: 14:31:12
Hi people. I'm John and I am an ungrateful Alcoholic. I guess I know there are "gifts" to be obtained through sobriety and AA meetings, and hopefully one of those is happiness. I mean true happiness, not happiness because I have a great job(which I don't) not happiness that I have a great girlfriend(which I do) not happiness that there is some form of "God"(which there must be though no one knows who or what it is) I just want to be happy with who I am. I am not going to become alcohol-free to please anyone but myself. It may sound a bit selfish but that's how I am. I am the one who recognized my problem, I am the one that hurt myself. In the whole scheme of things everyone who knows me thinks I am doing fine. I am not doing fine, but I won't let myself be a burden to my family because they don't want to know. So, I will use AA and its people to help me, I decided this yesterday. I know there is a step in the program that says you have to apologize to everyone you hurt when you were drinking. Guess what? I hurt myself primarily, I need to forgive myself and my body and my mind and yes even my soul. What will I say if a family member asks me if I want to drink? I will say no thanks, I don't drink. And I will never tell them hey guess what I'm an alcoholic. Just the word "alcoholic" is like a plague. I don't like the word. If it sounds like I'm angry it's because I am. But I won't always be.
Member: Maggie Mae
Location: Az
Date: 30 Jun 1999
Time: 15:15:24
I am first grateful that I had the insight to search this site the weekend of June 20th this year. Although I drank that weekend, This site gave me the courage to call AA and go to my first meeting on the 21st. Since then I have attended 9 meetings in 9 days. Face to Face. I found many many wonderful people an 1 old fart. I have not had a drink since the 21st. I feel clear in the mornings; although the night are somewhat restless. My bosy is not used to going to bed sober. The tension in my house has decreased mardedly. My husband is supportive. I am grateful that I am on the path to sobriety. But without AA, I could not be on the path to serenity.
Member: Kyle K.
Location: GA
Date: 30 Jun 1999
Time: 19:59:11
I see many inclusions of what God has done and how He has made a difference in someone's life. Honestly, God was a secondary gift for me - much like the unexpected prize behind Monty's doors. My primary gift, though, was the door itself, and it was open...all I had to do was walk through. Blindly, I did so and the rest is history.
Opportunities have been presented throughout my life and I have taken many, but many I have taken with the sole intention of gaining someone's approval, of making someone "proud". Many others I've avoided for there was no aknowledgements to be given. THIS doorway, though, accepts no imposter - if you independently wish to walk through it and know that no congratulations are due, no pats on the back are promised, then perhaps the lease of sobriety can be yours; if not, you may have to walk through the door a time or two more, unless you're lucky.
What AA has given me has not been all of the friends I've gained, the money I've made, the family I've found or the woman I married. AA did not give me the meeting halls, the chips, the neverending coffeepot (my "OTHER" HP), the birthday parties or any other of what, truthfully, is more icing than cake. Instead AA has given me an opportunity to routinely examine myself and be rigorously if not painfully honest as I stand before its door each day. What happens once I walk through the door is nothing shy of a miracle.
Member: Bob P.
Location: Poway,Ca
Date: 30 Jun 1999
Time: 21:33:46
Hi I'm Bob and by the grace of God and this fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, I'm sober again-today.
Hang in there Dennis!Get a big book by calling AA in your area. Read and get your self to a meeting of Alcoholics Anolymous.This program is simple, but is not always easy for me. Being honest is important for me to stay sober, and having a sponser to call when I need guidence. I stay sober by trying to give more than I take; which is the opposite of my life before. God Bless!
Member: blane f.
Location: lafayette, la
Date: 30 Jun 1999
Time: 23:05:50
hi, my name is blane and i am a serious alcoholic and drug addict. the reason that i say alcoholic and drug addict is because it is important to me that i say it. this helps me to become more aware and accepting of my multiple problem. it is something that i do for myself, not necessarily for enigmatic others. the greatest gift that i have gotten from AA is the opportunity to come back after relapse without being judged (at least not openly). i have relapsed several times and find it very hard to stay clean and sober for any significant period of time. so i relate very strongly to the person from mississippi. i completely understand that sense of frustration and desperation that comes with powerlessness. i hope that the future brings to us the serenity to accept this. this is my first visit to this website.
Member: johnnyG
Location: hoosierville
Date: 30 Jun 1999
Time: 23:42:15
Hi evryone, I'm John,alcohlic and drug addict.I have only been clean and sober for a short time now after bouncing in and out of the program for a few years, but already the blessings are too many to mention all of them. Sobriety, much like substance abuse has had a enormous impact on every aspect of my life. For all of those who truly want to end the cycle of pain and self destruction, there is hope and you can find it here.A short time ago I was a beaten man. As I sat in a jail cell after another futile attempt to escape reality and myself, I made a descision to give my life to God and go back to the only program that I know works. Since that time I have been showered with gifts from above. I can look in the mirror and realize that I'm not such a bad guy, and a pretty handome devil without the bloodshot eyes. I have regained my freedom, both from institutions and from the obsession to get high. My relationships with my higher power and with other people are healthy and growing. I have reunited with the woman I love and our two children.I have a decent job which I can make it to every day, on time and sober. I'm excited about life! It's all true. By taking the first step we can recieve a new lease on life! Thanks for your time. Keep on keepin' it real.
Member: Carrie M.
Location: Georgia
Date: 01 Jul 1999
Time: 00:02:59
Hi! I'm Carrie and I'm an alcoholic. First time here. I will have 11 years of sobriety this August. To DENNIS in CA - one day at a time. I hope you don't lose your family. Someone said to me early on, "I can't promise you things will get better if you quit drinking but I can promise you they will get worse if you continue to drink." Gifts: my life, a higher power, a choice today that I didn't know I had before. A husband that respects me, two beautiful children and a career I enjoy.
Relapse: I think about drinking. I go to a new-comers meeting to keep focused that this is a daily thing. That I need meetings to stay sober, that I need other recovering alcoholics in my life. I don't ever want my children to see me drunk. I hope they never will.
Member: TINA E
Location: EPHRATA,PA
Date: 01 Jul 1999
Time: 00:31:40
hello family,my name is Tina,alcoholic\addict.greatest gift for me has been the gift of sobriety and with that i've been able to learn how to deal with life and all of the situations that come with.this fellowship is a gift and i keep hearing keep coming back and the people really mean it.no where have i ever been so comfortable.i relapsed and i believe that if god's will was for me to be out drinking\drugging all of the bad wouldn't happen.so my relapse was a gift cuz i don't have anymore resorvations about it anymore.i've been picked to be in recovery and i have a loving god that is a great gift.RECOVERY ROCKS:):) I THANK ALL OF U FOR SHARING ,I GOT SO MUCH FROM U ALL.U ALL R SOME ONE SPECIAL SO WORK IT CUZ U R WORTH IT.
Member: Clayton
Location: MD
Date: 01 Jul 1999
Time: 00:52:28
SOBRIETY is my gift....... serenity is my gift..... Faith is what keeps me here, not fear of the next drink.... it is fear that said it's prayer that removed my fear..... I will keep coming to meetings.... I believe that the oldtimers did whatever was neccessary to stay sober..... I will not drink today...... That is the GREATEST GIFT I can recieve!
Member: Shelley M.
Location: Tulsa, OK
Date: 01 Jul 1999
Time: 01:11:03
The greatest gift i have recieved did not come to me through A.A. But it is only through A.A. that i am able to see it as a gift. The greatest gift i have ever recieved has Not been SOBRIETY. It is the gift of DESPERATION. For without this gift i would not be able to recieve the gift of SOBRIETY. and for that i am truely GRATEFUL. My name is Shelley and i AM an alcoholic. and for that also i am truely GRATEFUL. thanks. Don't forget to KEEP IT SIMPLE.
Member: Bill W
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada
Date: 01 Jul 1999
Time: 02:36:02
Morning everyone, I'm Bill and I'm an alcoholic. For me the greatest gift was relief from the obsession to drink. I will admit that once in a great while will the thought of having a drink enter my mind but another gift deters me. That is the gift that AA gave me when I learn how Not to take the first drink. Thanks to a Higher Power I now have just over 11 years in this programme and still remember my last booze up as though it were yesterday. Recalling that last drink makes me ill and for that I am greatful.
Member: AL
Location: MD
Date: 01 Jul 1999
Time: 03:13:58
HI EVERYBODY I'M ALEX AND I AM AN ALOCHOLIC. i JOINED AA ABOUT ONE WEEK AGO. i HAVE BEEN SOBER FOR ABOUT 6 DAYS NOW. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGH ME. SOBER. MAYBE THERE REALLY IS SOMETHING TO THIS AA STUFF. EVEN THOUGH MY PROBLEMS HAVEN'T DISSAPPEARED COMPLETELY AND PROBABLY NEVER WILL I CAN NOW THAT THERE IS NOTHING THAT I CAN DO ABOUT THEM EXCEPT TRY AND WORK THEM OUT THE BEST THAT I CAN ONE STEP AT A TIME. ITS BEEN REAL TOUGH FOR ME LATELY GOING WITHOUT BEING AROUND MY FRIENDS. ESSPECIALY SINCE EVERYONE OF THEM STILL DRINKS. I FEEL LIKE THEY SHOULD BE RIGHT WITH ME IN THE MEETINGS. MAYBE I AND JUST FEEL LIKE I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO THAT IS MY AGE. SEE I'M 20 YEARS OLD AND IN THE MEETINGS THAT I GO TO. I FEEL LIKE THE ODD ONE OUT. I KNOW ITS SEEMS CRAZY BUT I CAN'T HELP BUT FEEL THAT WAY. EVEN THOUGH I FEEL DEPREESED AT TIMES ESPECIALY DURING THE WEEKENDS WHEN MY FREINDS ARE OUT PARTYING. I LEAN ON MY MENTOR FOR SUPPORT EVEN THOUGH HIS PRETTY OLD HE IS WISE BEYOND HIS YEARS EVEN WHEN I CANT MAKE THE LIKE TODAY. HE STILL HOLDS LITTLE PRIVATE SESSIONS AFTER I COME HOME FROM CLASS. I THANK GOD THAT HE IS HERE TO GUIDE ME AND ALL OF THE OTHER MEMEBERS OF AA. ONE DAY AT A TIME THAT ALL IT TAKES.THANKS FOR LETTING ME SHARE.
Member: Malcolm L.
Location: New Iberia, LA
Date: 01 Jul 1999
Time: 06:19:10
Hi everyone, my name is Malcolm and I am an Alcoholic. I'm sober but for the Grace of GOD for 9 years, 11 months, and 24 days today. The last few weeks have been rough. Everything in my life is the best it has ever been including finances, family, farm, step group, etc. Therefore the last month I have had to work on me and my defects of character to become a better person, better husband, better popa.This is the 1st time I find this site and itis 4:30 in the morning and I can't sleep. Last night I had a relapse dream and woke about the same time. I always get squirelly close to my AA birthdays, but this is the big one to get to double digits. Only 6 days left to July 7th.
God has been very good to me. I'm 36 and have my 1st child with my wife of 6 years. She is sober 8 years also. My babies name is GRACE, and is named from the slogan. But for the Grace of GOD... I feel better already and have enjoyed reading from all of you AA's from all over the world. Grace sat up at our Monday night meeting 7 times. She attends AA on a regular basis whether she needs to or not..
LOVE AND PEACE TO ALL,ONE DAY AT A TIME. MALCOLM
Member: Ian W
Location: Australia
Date: 01 Jul 1999
Time: 07:50:37
Hi my name is Ian and I am a grateful alcholic. I am glad that I can go out now and know that I will be capable of driving home. I am glad that I get to see my daughter each week. I am glad that I have just moved into a new house out of town. I am glad that i can afford a computer so that i can talk to alkies all over the world and hear what happens when you relapse. I been sober for eight years and complacency had begun to set in. Thank you all for sharing it has been great. I will go to the meeting tomorrow night.
Member: az-bill@primenet.com
Location: Sierra Vista, AZ
Date: 01 Jul 1999
Time: 12:59:54
HI Alex in Maryland. My name is Azbill a misplaced Baltimoron living in Arizona. I am an alcoholic. I don't care who knows it as long as I don't forget it. Welcome to the fellowship. My friends gave me up when I quit drinking. So I had no problem changing playmates and play grounds.
You will fine a wealth of new friends in the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. Get into service as quickly as you can.
One more point. If you are and alcoholic then you are powerless over alcohol. Yours, mine and your friends. You can only be of help to those who seek it and want it.
Love in service and the fellowship
Bill
My friends call my Azzz.
"Easy does it" but by all means get it done
Member: Chris H.
Location: Colorado
Date: 01 Jul 1999
Time: 14:29:35
I'm Chris an alcoholic.
I am "so grateful" for my Higher Power. I struggled much when I first came into AA, not having faith in anyone or myself. Life had been a big let-down for me, and I felt unworthy. I only knew that I wanted to stop drinking. All I really had was willingness. Admitting my life was unmanageable was fairly easy, I had mountains of evidence, but coming to believe that a "power greater than myself could restore me to sanity," well, at first, sounded just nuts. Fortunately, willingness (desire) won me over, and this eventually gave rise to hope, and then faith. Through faith I found a Higher Power of my own understanding that keeps me sober today. Sure my life is unmanageable, at times, but my HP is with me, and HP carries me through when the world appears to fail me.
JCP, I love the intriguing moments of humor in this program, as you indicated, "One big nudge toward my spiritual awakening -- such as it was, but incredibly more than I supposed possible -- came in a MISquote."
At times my HP has a real presence and sense of humor, too. HP encourages me and nudges me along, and I see life as a lesson now, all things appear to have a reason for being.
cherie g., I really liked what you said, "I am grateful for this program and the fact that you can mess up in the worst ways and always be welcomed back with open arms."
In early sobriety, I went out a few times, and was glad when people welcomed me back, gave me encouragement, and hope. Today, by the grace of God, I have over 16 years, a day at a time. I have seen people go out and not make it back, and that fact both saddens and humbles me. Today, I am grateful for my sobriety.
Through the program I have become more willing to help others. Sure, I sometimes fall into my favorite defect "fear," which happens, and I become less available. I was recently informed that a certain measure of fear and anger are "allegedly" healthy, although don't see how fear and anger can lead me to Happy, Joyous, and Free? Fortunately, through the program, I have been encouraged to help others, and this really seems to get me out of myself; as the saying goes, "you only get to keep it if you give it away."
Jean-Claude T., you listed such neat things to be grateful for, such as, "...an HP to help me when mankind can't do it; the ability to try and correct my character defects; those sober years that have been added to my life; this wonderful site and the beautiful AA people in cyberland..." When I focus on the plus's verses the minus's I feel better. Early on I developed a healthy respect for a gratitude inventory, as well. This is something I now need to focus on, too.
John L, you mentioned, "I just want to be happy with who I am. I am not going to become alcohol-free to please anyone but myself. It may sound a bit selfish but that's how I am."
I can relate. I sometimes don't understand what motivates others, when it is not my way, but I am glad that my HP takes care of me, and somehow helps me do what is right for me, and seems to take care of those around me. The serenity prayer has been a blessing for me, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (others), the courage to change the things I can (me with some help from HP), and the wisdom to know the difference." Today, I believe, my life is blessed with opportunities.
Thanks Eileen H. for reminding us, "How can you possibly keep a network going if you don't go to meetings? Seems to me that meetings are the medicine we need to stay sober. It's partly to be around and talk to other alcoholics, partly the communication, service helps a great deal, too."
Yep, it is easy for me to isolate. I realize FTF time is a part of ‘doing' the program. Last week on this site, a person indicated that FTF meetings were very important, because our friends can read our non-verbal messages, and if we aren't doing well, it is less easy to hide in denial. Just showing up and being present at meetings can make a real difference. I realize too that footwork is the stepwork, and we need friends to walk with us through the steps.
Thanks for the opportunity to share.
Member: johnnyG
Location: nicksfan@aol.com
Date: 01 Jul 1999
Time: 16:14:11
Hi again, I'm John, an extremely grateful recovering addict. For all those early in recovery, like myself, I think it is very important for us to find people we can relate to and hang out with in the program. We need to get over the self-pity of "missing out" on the bar scene , parties etc. I feel that my relapses in the past were caused by my failure to accept my disease and also the misconception that sobriety is boring. Today I have the attitude that being an alcoholic is a blessing. If not for this disease I could not appreciate life as I do today. I cherish my sobriety, my God and the loved ones in my life. To many of us the idea of fun always revolved around a substance. For me, it got to the point where I never did anything without a few drinks or a couple of joints. The fun in the activity itself or the enjoyment of the people i was with was lost in the pursuit of the buzz. My point is that it takes a real effort on our part to seek out people we can enjoy who are interested in doing things we consider fun. I can recall so many summers when I said I'm going to go here or there and do this and that, and then all of the sudden it's November and I hadn't done a damn thing but get drunk. Not this year! I've got a big 4th of July AA party to go to this weekend and some of my other plans for the summer include amusement and water parks , deep sea fishing and sky-diving. Let's face it, if sobriety can't be fun it can't be done! Thanks for allowing me to share and if anyone has any tips for having fun in sobriety or any recovery related activities in the Northern Indiana area please holler at me. Give God the steering wheel and Keep on Keepin' it real!
Member: johnnyG
Location: nicksfan@aol.com
Date: 01 Jul 1999
Time: 16:17:26
Hi again, I'm John, an extremely grateful recovering addict. For all those early in recovery, like myself, I think it is very important for us to find people we can relate to and hang out with in the program. We need to get over the self-pity of "missing out" on the bar scene , parties etc. I feel that my relapses in the past were caused by my failure to accept my disease and also the misconception that sobriety is boring. Today I have the attitude that being an alcoholic is a blessing. If not for this disease I could not appreciate life as I do today. I cherish my sobriety, my God and the loved ones in my life. To many of us the idea of fun always revolved around a substance. For me, it got to the point where I never did anything without a few drinks or a couple of joints. The fun in the activity itself or the enjoyment of the people i was with was lost in the pursuit of the buzz. My point is that it takes a real effort on our part to seek out people we can enjoy who are interested in doing things we consider fun. I can recall so many summers when I said I'm going to go here or there and do this and that, and then all of the sudden it's November and I hadn't done a damn thing but get drunk. Not this year! I've got a big 4th of July AA party to go to this weekend and some of my other plans for the summer include amusement and water parks , deep sea fishing and sky-diving. Let's face it, if sobriety can't be fun it can't be done! Thanks for allowing me to share and if anyone has any tips for having fun in sobriety or any recovery related activities in the Northern Indiana area please holler at me. Give God the steering wheel and Keep on Keepin' it real!
Member: Jack C wanderers 3
Location: Friendship Wi
Date: 01 Jul 1999
Time: 17:17:49
Hello---I'mJack c and an alcoholic. It took quite awhile to read all the prior posts. I enjoyed listening. A lot of good messages were sent.Here's another !!! Please read March 5th in the 24 hours a day, little black book. It talks about GOD's gift to all of us. Read the whole page. It stopped my relapses and I now have 42 years sober and grateful.
Member: JIM J.
Location: New Hampshire
Date: 01 Jul 1999
Time: 19:57:56
Hi everyone Im Jim Im a ALOCHOLIC Nice to here from all of you. I am 15 days sober one of my gifts is that I made it back to A.A. I went to 90 meetings in 90 days ten years ago and thats what is saveing me. And God.
Thankyou for letting me share P.S. The beer never tastes the same after you have been to A.A.
LOVE JIM J.
Member: Kay
Location: Maine
Date: 01 Jul 1999
Time: 21:27:00
I've been blessed with many gifts since coming to the program in 1992. But the one that came to mind first was the gift of being able to choose not to drink. before AA I did not have that choice. I am glad you are all here. Peace from Kay
Member: Ariel F.
Location: Central WI
Date: 01 Jul 1999
Time: 22:09:34
Blessed evening to all...Ari, an alcoholic here in mid-America. I've really enjoyed reading all the comments so far. I've got some new things to think about and probably add to my own gratitude list because of what's been shared here. I always like hearing how other people work the program and reap the benefits of it.
For me, the greatest gift has been the development of a TRUE relationship with God. I know my God has always been with me, but for a RELATIONSHIP, it takes two...and for a long time I was unavailable. With God in my life and my increasing awareness of Him, new gifts are revealed every day. It's exciting to wake up (not come to) and see what He is going to reveal to me today.
No matter what, even in the difficult times, if I don't drink, blessings and gifts come my way, (even things I would not have considered as blessings two years ago.) I'm another grateful alcoholic and everyone here is in my thoughts and prayers. May the God of your understanding give you all you need too.
Member: Paula D
Location: Canada
Date: 01 Jul 1999
Time: 23:02:53
Wow! This has been powerful stuff I've read tonight. Thank you, thank you and thank you people for sharing. If you only knew how much it has meant for me each time I come to read what you all have to say. I am just hurting inside tonight so much. And to hear from people who have had tremendous pain in their lives, brings peace within myself. Although I'm in pain today, I know that tomorrow I will feel better. I can count on tomorrows being better, and that's pretty cool. It's so relieving to know that I'm not the only person out there that feels the feelings that I feel. Like someone said...about not trusting your hand to pick up a drink. That will never go away. And I feel ok today with that. I am a normal alcoholic. I fit in somewhere. Someone else understands what it is to be me! The acceptance of being powerless! WOW! There, first miracle. Yes...Thank you GOD! thank you for listening
Member: Angelo B
Location: Canada
Date: 02 Jul 1999
Time: 00:22:33
Biggest gift: Removal of that urge to drink - known as the "expulsion of a compulsion by a higher power" has to top the list. To be able to speak with others and know they've been there too is another. To date, I haven't taken either of these gifts for granted to the point of drinking, though I have to admit, I find me taking them for granted at times. Sorry. To be able to actually have a thought about someone or something other than me is a gift. That's just as incredible as the loss of the urge to drink.
And so on.
Rebekah, please get in touch if you wish an email address for some of the crowd there in Tokyo. They go to the Havana Cuba after the meeting in Roppongi at the Franciscan Centre. I also know there are others because I've been to them. In any case, the program works wherever you are. Keep doing it... storang88@hotmail.com
GOd bless everyone and thanks for helping me stay sober today...
Member: Bill H.
Location: Manchester, U.K.
Date: 02 Jul 1999
Time: 04:45:16
my names Bill and I'm an alcholic. Cherie, I went to A.A,for over 6 months and still drank. It wasn't my fault,i'm an alcholic.I stopped in the middle of a three day blackout.all I remember was asking God to make this stop. I awoke with what I believe to be a knowledge of my condition. The most scary part being the extent of my denial. I really had no idea that I was genuinly sick. This illness had run away with me and all the time it was telling me it was o.k. this is my greatest gift from God and A.A. But it is a gift you have to ask for sincerly. Dont worry about judges, let go, let God. You'll be o.k. He restoreth my soul. God bless you all. Bill.
Member: Linda A.
Location: Az.
Date: 02 Jul 1999
Time: 11:55:19
Hi all, Linda here alcoholic. What don't I have to be grateful for? Just made 15 years and I'm still alive and well. The program and my higher power did this for me. If I look around me there is absolutly nothing that I don't have to be grateful for. It is all in my thinking and my attitude. I cut my right hand almost completly off at 7 years sober and found that too I was grateful for because they had to take a lung exray before surgery and found a spot on my lung. Drastict but that is what it took for me to go in for a lung exray. If it wouldn't have been for the hand accident I would probable not be here today.Getting the right attidude and acceptance of life on lifes terms has been in itself a reward for being sober. Absolutly nothing happens in GOD's world by mistake. When I stop listening to that little voice in my head, I'm in trouble. Thanks for listening. I enjoy this sight. It is my favorite.
Member: Mike N
Location: Me
Date: 02 Jul 1999
Time: 12:00:32
Hello my name is Mike and I'm an alcholic, and am found of hard liquor. Just saying hello.
Member: vincent b
Location: belfast n.ireland
Date: 02 Jul 1999
Time: 12:41:55
hi all, my mane is vincent an i am an alcoholic. i am sober today by the grace of GOD and the fellowship 14 years, most of it a day at a time. today i am a grateful alcoholic. if i had not found (been directed to) AA i believe i would be lucky to be dead. i felt condemmed to drink for the rest of my life and when i died i was going to hell. afraid of living and scared of dying. I am grateful for the peace of mind i have today, for the ability to sleep at night, for the ability to face the big bad world and ALL it's problems and not need the booze to help me get through it. you good people gave me a god that i could understand, one that could understand me??? i sure as hell couldn't. you gave me a life that is indescriblely better. Yes i have everything to be grateful for. i said to an 'old-timer' 13 years ago i was very thankful to him and to AA. he told me continue to be thankful and you will drink again and die. learn to be grateful. i thank God i was stupid enough to ask him the difference. he simply said, gratitude is showing that you are thankful. i am a grateful alkie today.
love from belfast n.ireland
Member: Bill G.
Location: Orange County, Calif.
Date: 02 Jul 1999
Time: 13:10:39
Hi, my name is Bill and I'm an Alcoholic. Always enjoy this meeting. I go to 5 meetings a week here in Orange Co, California, most of them Closed Meetings. I find the wide range of topics and experiences here to be very enlightening. That's why I "keep coming back"! From the depths of despair and a suicide attempt, the program of AA has given me a new life, "restoring me to sanity". Time to get ready for one of my favorite meetings, an "Old Timer's Share First" format. With only 2 1/2 years sobriety I rarely get a chance to share but this meeting is good just to listen to the wisdom of others. Yours in Sobriety, Bill
Member: Rich R, slowly recovering compulsive person
Location: Detroit
Date: 02 Jul 1999
Time: 15:25:35
Pablo, thanks buddy, great topic! I want to cite 2 gifts. The first one is a relationship with my Higher Power, before recovery there was NO relationship. The second gift comes from the first one: the courage to change! Thanks for helping me to be grateful for those 2 precious gifts today.
Member: Joanne L.
Location:
Date: 02 Jul 1999
Time: 15:31:14
Hi to all. The greatest gift I've gotten from the program is a whole new way of living. The big book calls it a design for living. The steps are the tools to achieve this. The 1st step enables me to see that I am not alone in my drinking and the destruction it has caused in my life. The second step tells me that there is a God or power greater than myself that will return me and my life to sanity. The 3rd step only asks me for a decision, which I make on a daily basis, to do things my higher power's way that day. That may mean for me to talk over decisions and ideas with someone else and not act on my self-will and self-reliance. Or to pray for God's will for a situation. In any event it usually means to slow down where I would otherwise rush in. The 4th step allows me to take an honest look at my character. My sponsor has reminded me that it's not an amoral inventory of every wrong thing I ever did in my life. But an honest and fearless (only because I have a new-found God in my life)look at my morals or lack of. The 5th step asks me to admit these things to myself (very important), God, and another person. Also to search out the exact nature of my wrongs. The 6th step, which I think is one of the most difficult steps meant me being entirely sick of myself and my way of doing things and what my life had become. I was driven by these character defects and had to ask God to remove them. Then can my higher power enter and maybe lighten the load of character defects discovered in the 4th and 5th steps. I was told the difference between steps 6 & 7 is that in 6 a character defect is something that I'm doing that I better stop, and in 7 a shortcoming is something I'm not doing that I better start. My greatest shortcoming that I pray to have removed is my self-centered inability to give of myself to others. To love unconditionally. This is where I'm at in the steps, truly the greatest gift and tool for transformation. All my answers are in the steps. Hope I didn't ramble on, I just love to talk about how AA works in my life. Peace, Joanne
Member: glo
Location: NM
Date: 02 Jul 1999
Time: 16:09:23
I'm Glo and I'm an alcoholic. Gifts of the program was the topic of my home group this week also. I'm with you Amy, that sense of belonging is a wonderful feeling. For so long I felt invisible. Not only did I not belong any place I didn't even feel like I existed and I hated God for making me be alive. I used to pray that God would just let me move to the next level cuz I was sure I was done here. When I started going to meetings I was awed that people would remember my name from the last meeting and it felt good. 5 years into the program I still don't embrace life like many do but I'm not so ready to leave anymore. So I guess one of the many gifts I'm most appreciative of is the willingness to be experience life....in a visible sorta way. Thanks for being here.
Member: tamerah-g
Location: shasta county
Date: 02 Jul 1999
Time: 21:00:10
my name is tamerah and im an alcoholic the tools you need to stay sober are the big book and the 12x12 i have relased and all i can do is use the tools that god gives me everyday. how to stay sober you need to go to 90 meeetings in 90 day's andd take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth ...that was suggested by my sponser...thanks for letting me talk .
Member: Dan K.
Location: So Cal
Date: 02 Jul 1999
Time: 21:16:16
I have to attend 2 meetings this week or else my program director will be very upset. I'm meetings phobic, I think that I may suffer from a social phobia, because I get very nervous in meetings. Often they are very loud and I feel intimidated. The idea of asking someone to become my sponsor is beyond the pale of my imagination. On the plus side I read and re-read the big book and check into this web page nearly eveyday, I dont always post, but rather I listen to what others have to say. I am working the steps but my timid personality prevents me from becoming more socially involved in the meeting's, and service and getting a sponsor. It's not because i'm arrogant, I realy believe in the program and am just doing the best I can at this point. Maybe something will happen to allow me to be more active.
dan K.
Member: Dan K.
Location: So Cal
Date: 02 Jul 1999
Time: 21:16:48
I have to attend 2 meetings this week or else my program director will be very upset. I'm meetings phobic, I think that I may suffer from a social phobia, because I get very nervous in meetings. Often they are very loud and I feel intimidated. The idea of asking someone to become my sponsor is beyond the pale of my imagination. On the plus side I read and re-read the big book and check into this web page nearly eveyday, I dont always post, but rather I listen to what others have to say. I am working the steps but my timid personality prevents me from becoming more socially involved in the meeting's, and service and getting a sponsor. It's not because i'm arrogant, I realy believe in the program and am just doing the best I can at this point. Maybe something will happen to allow me to be more active.
dan K.
Member: MaryJ
Location: Seattle
Date: 02 Jul 1999
Time: 21:27:10
Hi,
I'm Mary and an alcoholic. Pablo, I hope you checked back and read some of the incredible gifts that people have received. I can relate to many of these gifts - waking up without a hangover, being able to actually get out of bed, not being sick, havin g a clear head to actually think and function in the morning without having to fake it at work, self respect, enjoying life as it is, not how I see it through a hangover.
I have enjoyed "hearing" everyone's response to the gifts they have received.
Member: John W
Location: Dauphin Is. Al
Date: 02 Jul 1999
Time: 22:00:17
Hi everyone. My name is John and I am an alcoholic. My sobrity date is the last day of August, 1979 and for this number of days without a drink, I am grateful. This is my first meeting on a computer and after reading the meeting above, I can see where I can get a meeting between meetings. Thanks for being here.
Member: Kim N.
Location: Minnesota
Date: 02 Jul 1999
Time: 22:54:12
hello, my name is Kim and Im an alcoholic. The greatest gift I have received has been for the desire to drink to be removed. Drinking is no longer an option. The desire to stay sober had to become a priority in my life. going to meetings even if I didnt feel like it, using a sponsor, working the steps, and getting honest with myself. Two simple tools I continue to use to stay sober one day at a time are writing my fears and resentments out and sharing them outloud with a sponsor. The quality of life I have today without alcohol is a miracle and a wonderful gift of this awesome program.
Member: Kim N.
Location: Minnesota
Date: 02 Jul 1999
Time: 22:55:13
hello, my name is Kim and Im an alcoholic. The greatest gift I have received has been for the desire to drink to be removed. Drinking is no longer an option. The desire to stay sober had to become a priority in my life. going to meetings even if I didnt feel like it, using a sponsor, working the steps, and getting honest with myself. Two simple tools I continue to use to stay sober one day at a time are writing my fears and resentments out and sharing them outloud with a sponsor. The quality of life I have today without alcohol is a miracle and a wonderful gift of this awesome program.
Member: tom k.
Location: ms
Date: 03 Jul 1999
Time: 01:27:09
Tom K Ms `12:15 am July 3.1999 Hi= I'm a greatful alcoholic. For Pablo i like to say the three greatest gifts of the Program are Spirituality, Serenity and Sobriety=in that order. I had none of these when i washed up on the shores of AA 16 years ago. The Promises on p. 83 & 84 of the Big Book have come true and continue to be true as long as i'm working THE PROGRAM, not My Program. When i feel the promises slip away I know i need to work harder on the program. Out of self. for TDV in Ms i'd say get a good sponsor and work all 12 steps with him. If you don't like the first sponsor get another one=if you don't like the second get a third. If you don't like the third take a good look at your self. good luck . tom k. member Pass It On Group
Member: Steve G
Location: Las Vegas Nv.
Date: 03 Jul 1999
Time: 04:55:01
Hi my name is Steve and I am a greatful Alcoholic. I have been clean and sober for over 14 years. July 20th will be my 15th. I am greatful for this program. I know without this program I would be dead by now. The greatist gift of all that I have recieved from this program is I have lost the desire to drink and drug. This program works and now you can go online and get a meeting. That is amazing to me. I live in Las Vegas were meeting run 24/7. And it is nice to know that thay are always there.
Member: jules n
Location: Australia
Date: 03 Jul 1999
Time: 06:24:07
HI I'm Jules and Iam an alcoholic. This statement is an admission of defeat, but paradoxically it is a the beginning of a new life for me, in which Iam not in charge any more. There is so much relief from the fact I don't have to be in charge anymore and have things go 'my way'. I have found that if I constantly try to attune my will to the will of my higher power, my days are so much easier. Life is'nt good and life is'nt bad - life just is, and I just do my best to fit in. It's worked for the past 13 years and I'll try it again tomorrow.
Member: Albuquerque John
Location: Scotland
Date: 03 Jul 1999
Time: 14:11:59
Firstly congratulations to Lesley S in New Mexico. That is where I found the solution to what I thought was my problem. In fact I bought the land where the searching party found me just outside Deming NM. Gifts of the programme!!
I have not found it necessary to even consider alcohol as a way out of life's problems since that day several years ago. My first group down there in Luna County practised the 12 Steps of the Programme of AA, ie the "Programme of the First 100", pages 1 thro' 164 of the Big Book plus the Doctor's Opinion.
Like the First 100 I have also recovered from what seemed a hopeless state of mind and body. Thro' reading those pages I had many Spiritual Experiences of the Educational Variety. The big one was when I realised I was for many years an "adult child" of non-alcoholic parents. A scared frightened individual who used alcohol to hide a host of character defects. Having understood and accepted the description of an alcoholic up to Chapter 5, the real benefits come in the next chapters of the Big Book in Chapter 6 thro 11 when we have to put the programme into action.
Best wishes to all you real alcoholics out there.
Member: Evi B
Location:
Date: 03 Jul 1999
Time: 15:37:57
Hi my name is Evi B and I'm an alcoholic. Everyone has shared so many good things, so I'll add my two bits. A wonderful gift of the the program is the fact I have not suffered from a hangover for the last 11 years! I shuddered to think about all the incomprehensable demoralization I've missed along with those brain-tearing headaches. But more important is that I am a part of something bigger than myself and desires. God gave me a second chance at the good things in life such as family, friends, peace and well-being. Thru the steps I am at peace with everyone and everything. I can hold my head high and not be afraid of who I might see or what I could have done the night before. I am a friend among friends...a good place to be. Thanks, I am so grateful for you and this program.
Member: Evi B
Location:
Date: 03 Jul 1999
Time: 15:38:31
Hi my name is Evi B and I'm an alcoholic. Everyone has shared so many good things, so I'll add my two bits. A wonderful gift of the the program is the fact I have not suffered from a hangover for the last 11 years! I shuddered to think about all the incomprehensable demoralization I've missed along with those brain-tearing headaches. But more important is that I am a part of something bigger than myself and desires. God gave me a second chance at the good things in life such as family, friends, peace and well-being. Thru the steps I am at peace with everyone and everything. I can hold my head high and not be afraid of who I might see or what I could have done the night before. I am a friend among friends...a good place to be. Thanks, I am so grateful for you and this program.
Member: Hugh R-D
Location: Wales u.k.
Date: 03 Jul 1999
Time: 18:32:54
I am a recovering alcoholic one day at a time Ihave had the gift of sobriety for 27 years in the early days 1971 I had even after a horendous rock bottom ,a tough time due to my pride and lack of humility.Paploe miracles happen and I am living proof of it.One key for me then and now is letting go of my old ideas,in the book what happend to Rowland the advice he was given,then Ebby,then Bill god bles him all ends up in start of ch 5.The result is nil unless we let go absolutly.For me the humility that took led me to God as I understand to day all those wonderfull happenings make the prommises a fact,but not without pain.I am the pain when I forget.Thanks for your shares,love to all aint it marvelous...
Member: SHAWNA L.
Location: PLACERVILLE, CA.
Date: 03 Jul 1999
Time: 18:36:45
Hi Ya'll!I'm SHAWNA a greatful Alcoholic.I't never seems to fail,you hear what you need to hear,when you need to hear it.For me the first gift was when I feel on my face and ask GOD to help me,he did,and since that day I have believed!Another is knowing that I NEVER HAVE TO TAKE ANOTHER DRINK for ANY reason as long as I live,one day at a time and that is such a wonderful gift.Being able to listen and learn instead of always{thinking}I'm the teacher is a freedom in it's self.Today I smile and I am happy.I can honestly say that my worst day sober is better than my best day drunk.Thanks for letting me share family and JUST KEEP COMING BACK!!!
Member: Sharon C
Location: CA
Date: 03 Jul 1999
Time: 18:55:53
Well, I'm very grateful to have found this site! I've recently moved across the country to a new town and just came back from my 2nd nonextistent aa meeting (from the list I got at an existent one.) And it's Sat. and a holiday weekend and I am beginning to feel ISOLATED and, well, a little NUTS. So I get online and find this site and all you people who have 11, 14 and 27 years and are still working the program, and sharing about it and I suddenly feel braver. I have 8+ but today I started to feel like I did when I had 3 mos., which is the last time I had to scope out new meetings and meet all new people in the program. I know that the thing that got me sober in the first place was God's grace and connecting with other alcoholics in recovery. I know how important that is, for me, especially in the midst of major change. Thanks everybody, for sharing online and not drinking.
Member: Tom A. 7/25/60
Location: Carlisle, AR
Date: 03 Jul 1999
Time: 21:22:12
Good Evening!
My name is Tom A. a grateful sober alcoholic today by the grace of a wonderful loving Higher Power and this Fellowship we call A.A. Pablo has asked to share about the gifts this program has given us and we also were asked to say something about relapses or slips.
The posts this week have been many and I too share with most the gifts that have been mentioned, yet I believe gratitude of the gift of daily sobriety is the one that impresses me most. As for relapes or slips, if I can stay away from the FIRST DRINK, then I can't be physically drunk. I may be mentally drunk and I may be spiritually drunk, but I'm not physcially drunk and when I was physcially drunk I got all messed up. As the saying goes "First Things First, Live and Let Live, Easy Does it."
Thanks again to Pablo and all who have posted this week.
Enjoy Your Sobriety Today! Happy 4th!
God Bless - Tom A. ate@gte.net
Member: PATTI H
Location: AZ
Date: 03 Jul 1999
Time: 23:11:04
HI EVERYONE. IM PATTI AND IM AN ALCOHOLIC.THIS IS MY FIRST ON LINE MEETING SO BEAR WITH ME. YOU GUYS, READING ALL OF YOUR COMMENTS IS REALLY REFRESHING. I AM SO GLAD TO HAVE HOOKED UP WITH YA'LL. I'M NEW TO ARIZONA, HAILING FROM CANADA AND TENNESSEE AND I HAVE ABOUT A YEAR IN WITH A FEW FLOPS IN BETWEEN. GIFTS, I CAN ONLY SAY THAT EVERY DAY OF SOBRIETY IS MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN ANYTHING I HAVE EVER KNOWN. WITH SOBRIETY COMES PAIN AND BEAUTY,AND FOR A LOT OSF US THERE IS A LOT OF LOVE TO BE EXCHANGED. WITHOUT LOVE, WE ARE DEAD INSIDE ANYWAY. THANKS FOR LETTING ME SHARE. MAYBE I'LL MAKE MORE SENSE NEXT TIME, BUT IF I DON'T, I KNOW YOU GUYS STILL CARE.
Member: ted r.
Location: amarillo, tx
Date: 03 Jul 1999
Time: 23:55:43
hi, my name is ted r. & I'm an alcoholic== been sober every since I knew how & that's over 22 years now== when I first came in I was told by several old timers that if I'd just stay sober all things were possible== they were rite!== they also told me that God had better things planned for me than anything I could plan for myself== again, they were rite!== basically I got all the things I wanted, but the thing I treasure more than anything is something I never dreamed of when I first arrived== that was & is a closeness to a God of my understanding beyound anything I could have imagined== I mean, I love my wife, my kids, my harley & my retirement; but all that pales when compared with the feelng of being close to God & in sync with the universe== may sound "hokie" but it's true== that's all, thanx for letting me share==
Member: Georgine S
Location: Houston, Texas
Date: 04 Jul 1999
Time: 00:16:10
Hi, my name is georgine and I am an alcoholic and addict. I have 20 months of sobriety and God gave me that gift. I am greatful for everyday that I am breathing. I just recently broke my ankle and have been feeling sorry for myself for weeks. I am glad I ran across this topic because I was really getting tired of feeling sorry for myself. I've just remebered all the wonderful things God gave back to me in my sobriety. I'ts been 6 months since I've been to a meeting and I just needed to say that. Thank you.
Member: Destine'
Location: Houston
Date: 04 Jul 1999
Time: 00:29:46
Hey I'm Destine' and an alcoholic. The first gift I received is sobriety. If I thought I would have been sober for five years, I would have left the program the first day. I went to the fellowship looking for friends. I didn't think the program would work for me. That was June 20th, 1994 & I'm still sober. In other words, in spite of myself, God saw fit to grace me with the gift of sobriety. Thank God.
During the past five years, I've had many, many gifts. The gift of change in my life is major. I'm not the same person that walked through the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous. God is forever working with me and for that, I'm truly grateful!
Ya'll have a great 4th holiday...okay. Love each & every one of you.
Member: petra O.elmhurst
Location: Elmhurst
Date: 04 Jul 1999
Time: 03:56:19
i am afraid!! Should I reaaly get into tthis?? If I woudl like to join, how do I go about it Petra O
Member: petra O.elmhurst
Location: Elmhurst
Date: 04 Jul 1999
Time: 03:56:57
i am afraid!! Should I reaaly get into tthis?? If I woudl like to join, how do I go about it Petra O
Member: petra O.elmhurst
Location: Elmhurst
Date: 04 Jul 1999
Time: 03:57:35
i am afraid!! Should I reaaly get into tthis?? If I woudl like to join, how do I go about it Petra O
Member: petra O.elmhurst
Location: Elmhurst
Date: 04 Jul 1999
Time: 03:58:12
i am afraid!! Should I reaaly get into tthis?? If I woudl like to join, how do I go about it Petra O
Member: JJS
Location: PA
Date: 04 Jul 1999
Time: 08:10:31
Hi everyone, JJ here, grateful recovering alcoholic. On the topic of relapse, all I can say is when I came in an Oldtimer in my group used to always say "Relapse is not a requirement!" , I always remember that if my sick thinking comes back, and I listen carefully to the sharing of those who do. Doesn't sound like they had fun, so I haven't had to do that. On the topic of gifts of sobriety, there are many, but today's special gift is my 1st wedding anniversary. I just got home from the 6:30 am meeting, which I also attended the day I got married. I have alot of gratitude to my Higher Power and the people in the rooms for helping me stay sober and live my life one day at a time. Today my life is happy joyous & free as a result of these steps. Thank you for letting me share.
Member: Maria J.
Location: Denmark
Date: 04 Jul 1999
Time: 09:02:52
Please help me. I was told that you in USA also have a 12-step-program concerning EMOTIONS (Maybe it is called Emotions Anonymous ?). I am desperate to get in touch with someone who can help me locate them.
Member: Maria J.
Location: Denmark
Date: 04 Jul 1999
Time: 09:03:30
Please help me. I was told that you in USA also have a 12-step-program concerning EMOTIONS (Maybe it is called Emotions Anonymous ?). I am desperate to get in touch with someone who can help me locate them. My email-adress is: mariaj@mymail.dk
Member: Kathy H
Location: On the road
Date: 04 Jul 1999
Time: 09:22:01
Kathy, alcoholic...
Petra O. I was afraid too, and I bet any AA member would tell you he/she was in the beginning as well. I haven't met anybody yet who joined AA because of feeling great.
Get your phone book, or call directory assistance and ask for the number of Alcoholics Annonymous. Most places have 24 hour services. You will probably end up talking annonymously to an AA volunteer who can answer your questions, tell you where a meeting is, and arrange a ride if needed.
I remember that I was terrified at who I might see at meetings, and what a failure I was. If these thoughts are with you, keep in mind that anybody you might see is there for the same reason, and has walked in your shoes. Also, if you are an alcoholic, you are sick,and AA will help you help yourself get better.
My first meeting I was told to keep coming back, and promised that AA members would love me until I could learn to love myself. I did, they did, I began to, and it has worked for me a day at a time.
You are not alone, we love you.
Member: blane f.
Location: la.
Date: 04 Jul 1999
Time: 10:13:52
Maria J. please send me your address and I will mail you my copy of Emotions Anonymous. My e- mail address is bdfdab@worldnet.at&t.com good luck. blane f.
Member: Hank G.
Location: Maine
Date: 04 Jul 1999
Time: 11:13:21
Petra,
You have joined !!! The only requirement is a desire to stop drinking. You can locate your fellow Alcoholic Anonymous members iin a live meeting by do what is already been mentioned. Check the phone book and CALL !!
P.S. To new members, that phone weighs 600 lbs.