Member: LisaA
Location: SD
Date: 20 Jun 1998
Time: 23:05:31

Comments

Gosh I am having a hard time with gratitude today. It seems like a spirtual thing that just comes whne I am spirtualy fit. I can look at the simplest things and be so gratful. Right now I have a sleeping 4 year old in her bed I am able to care for her and to ask for help when I don't know how. That is a most wonerful things the program has given me. The ability to ask for help. It has all come from the grace of God and the steps of this program. I would never have had enough humility on my own to ask for help for anything This progarm has given me the ability to say I can't do it on my own. I can call people if I am feeling sad, angry lonely, or even when I don't know how I am feeling and they will listen. I don't have to have all the answers today and that I am greatful for today. A little ESH for the womean with no home. I am a little over 5 years sober and used to make quite a bit of money. After I sobered up I left my job eneded up pregnant was our choice them he left me in a mobile home that I couldn't drive I had to call friends to live with them for 2 month s then his sister for 2 montsh then my mother until the baby was born and I was 1 month away from my 1 year AA birthday, but for the grae of GOD I stayed sober and got back together with the dad and ended up homeless again at just over 2 years sober and moved the baby and I to another state with family to start a new. had to live with family for 6 months ended up going to college and today at a little over 5 years sober graduated brom college magna cum laude with to majors have a little tiny house in a really nice town. God constatnly puts people in my path to show me the way I am not always goo at following but I try to the best of my abilites and pray to GOD for the sincereity every day to stay sober one more day and be a good mommy a good friend and a good member of the socierty that I thought was so screwed up It was me that was screwed up. Thank GOD he saw fit to keep me wround today to love my neighbor. One day at a time and don't give up until the miracle happens


Member: Craig
Location: UTOPIA
Date: 20 Jun 1998
Time: 23:08:10

Comments

I AM CRAIG D. GREATFUL ALCOHOLIC, ADDICT, ACA. I'D LIKE TO HEAR ABOUT THAT POWERFUL SPIRITUALITY.


Member: Kim D
Location: Orlando, FL
Date: 20 Jun 1998
Time: 23:12:39

Comments

Hi all, I'm Kim, Alcoholic/Addict, I'm Grateful to be sober today, July 12th will be 3 years clean and sober for me. Boy, what a miracle.

To Chris who said drinking again might be a way back............. I am truly alive and sober by the grace of God and AA. I knew for many years before I actually got help that I needed it. I tried to overdosed on pills and booze several times trying to get the attention I so needed. It was so humiliating to wake-up in a hospital and have Doctors and nurses asking me why I was doing this to myself? I just felt hopeless and insane and I wanted just to hide from everyone, so I did. The last time I got so desparate I considered the possibility of just picking up to phone and calling a treatment center or AA, but I was too afraid to look someone in the eyes face to face and say "I get drunk and stoned everyday, my kids are neglected and everything I touch crumbles, Please Help Me!!! I wanted to do it, but, even then I was not humble enough to ask for help directly, so I swollowed the pills and downed them with a bottle. Then, it truly was by the grace of God that I woke up again in a hospital, but this time I did not run away from the shame. I stayed, I listened, I was given the tools. Getting there did not have to be so hard. After a few months in the program and a recoiliation with my husband, I became very depressed and frightened of drinking again. I certainly had some of those "crazy" thoughts of drinking again to get back into treatment. Instead, I called the treatment center, explained my fears, they put me back into an intensive outpatient program for a couple of weeks. Along with my regular meetings and work with a sponsor, I got through that time without relapse. Now, I works the steps with a sponsor and attend meetings regularly. I am living the promises of this program. I'm grateful for my life today.

Thank for letting me share. Kim D


Member: Kim D
Location: Orlando, FL
Date: 20 Jun 1998
Time: 23:13:28

Comments

Hi all, I'm Kim, Alcoholic/Addict, I'm Grateful to be sober today, July 12th will be 3 years clean and sober for me. Boy, what a miracle.

To Chris who said drinking again might be a way back............. I am truly alive and sober by the grace of God and AA. I knew for many years before I actually got help that I needed it. I tried to overdosed on pills and booze several times trying to get the attention I so needed. It was so humiliating to wake-up in a hospital and have Doctors and nurses asking me why I was doing this to myself? I just felt hopeless and insane and I wanted just to hide from everyone, so I did. The last time I got so desparate I considered the possibility of just picking up to phone and calling a treatment center or AA, but I was too afraid to look someone in the eyes face to face and say "I get drunk and stoned everyday, my kids are neglected and everything I touch crumbles, Please Help Me!!! I wanted to do it, but, even then I was not humble enough to ask for help directly, so I swollowed the pills and downed them with a bottle. Then, it truly was by the grace of God that I woke up again in a hospital, but this time I did not run away from the shame. I stayed, I listened, I was given the tools. Getting there did not have to be so hard. After a few months in the program and a recoiliation with my husband, I became very depressed and frightened of drinking again. I certainly had some of those "crazy" thoughts of drinking again to get back into treatment. Instead, I called the treatment center, explained my fears, they put me back into an intensive outpatient program for a couple of weeks. Along with my regular meetings and work with a sponsor, I got through that time without relapse. Now, I works the steps with a sponsor and attend meetings regularly. I am living the promises of this program. I'm grateful for my life today.

Thank for letting me share. Kim D


Member: Larry G.
Location: Nassau County N.Y.
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 01:25:03

Comments

Hi I"m Larry I'll be celebrating my 1st anniversary this july 13th. Can't believe I made 'A WHOLE YEAR' Ive learned its a 2 stage program in that you need BOTH the fellowship AND WORKING the 12 steps to achieve true sobriety. I am presently doing step 4 with my sponser.

As it says in the BIG BOOK (pog76) "FAITH WITHOUT WORKS IS DEAD"


Member: Terry P
Location: Long Beach, CA
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 02:59:52

Comments

Hi Larry, congratulations on 1 year. How cool, it gets me excited to see this program working for new people. It encourages me to keep coming back. I've got 13 years clean and sober. On the topic of spirituality it is true that faith without works is dead. I'm so glad that I finally figured that out. My sobriety has been enriched by newcomers and my faith in a Higher Power. Keep coming back everybody. Thanks for letting me share. Terry


Member: Miki
Location:
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 03:06:13

Comments

Miki alcoholic/addict. I said I was goiing to work a step, and add to a discussion, and by God I'm gonna do it. I'm real grateful that I'm sober right now. I got to take sobriety for granted--I guess I thought after 20 years I was cured. I think that could be pretty acuratly described as a dry drunk. For the past 24 hours I have been fighting the demon just as hard as I had to twenty some years ago and let me say its scary! Those of you working through the steps for the first dozen times, I'm here to tell you it can all fall apart if you part with your program. Right now I'm not grateful for 20 years of sobriety, I'm thankful for being sober TODAY. Tommorrow scares the ---- out of me. When I sobered up I was barely legal and in pretty bad shape. Youth, thank God, bounces. I'm really grateful that I have the experience that I have staying sober, because I don't know if I would make it again if I had a slip. I'm going to stay sober today though, and Yes I am very very grateful!


Member: Bruce
Location: St. Catharines, ON
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 07:36:07

Comments

HI...I am an alcoholic and my name is Bruce. I was spiritually sick, and I was miserable. One day I decided I had had enough...alcohol wsn't filling any void in my life, it was making it bigger. I still had no God to speak of, but I decided the best thing for me to do was to go to meetings. Eventually, I grew to accept the concept of a loving and caring God, who is there to help, not to punish. And you know, strange things started to happen to me. My compulsion to drink ws relieved, and a special kind of calmness was bestowed upon me, from somewhere other than myself. I also started to notice plenty of strange little "coincidences" occurring in my like...anytime I needed something, be it guidance, patience, or just a good kick in the ass, I received it in timely fashion...and it kept me on track with the spiritual program of Alcoholics Anonymous. It is a rescuer of the soul, and I for one, am grateful for having mine rescued. This program has got me in touch with my Higher Power and with the spiritual side of my life...Do I believe in miracles??? You'd better believe I do!!!! God Bless you all with another 24 hours of sobriety.


Member: Beth R.
Location: Venice,Ca.
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 13:18:36

Comments

good day, my name is Beth and I am an alcoholic. so grateful to come on and see the expressions of gratitudes precedeing..There was no decision for me, no choice. Just the undeniable experience of God doing for me what I could not do for myself.. This alkie woman was like dead meat out on the streets for years.. until there was no hope in this little rapidly deteriorating alcoholic brain.. I thank God for all of it! Being brought to A.A. and then to the twelve steps has saved this wretch from a lifetime of suicidal depression, drunkeness, and believing that I did not belong in this world. As others have just shared, my journey too has been a series of learning to let go of yet one more unmanageble concern after another... The gifts in these past seven years have continued to not only blow my mind but more importantly to reassure me that there is nothing in this world for me but to Trust in God by cleaning house of all resentment and fear.. Then and only then can I be Truely present and of clear mind to see the miraculous works of the loving God of Alcoholics Anonymous. Today, I'm pained with the reality of having to leave my mother in a skilled nursing facility against her will...I think this is the hardest thing I've ever done...so grateful for the twelve steps and each group consciousness..thank you for letting me share.. Beth R.


Member: Bonnie C
Location: Seattle
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 16:09:03

Comments

Hi extended family, bonnie/alcoholic here, (((ROOM-HUG))) so Grateful, good topic ((Lisa)), Pain is my touchstone to gratitude, when I become complacent or God chooses to trust me to grow, emotional and mental pain is the attention getter, when there is a negative situation in my life and I have asked God to help me, He will, no matter how painful it is to give that situation, person, place or thing up. He works for my highest good, when I'm in charge theres alot of instant gratification and bad decisions based on selfish motives that will always end up almost killing me if I dont have humility and see life as it really is, then do something to change it. I am grateful today because I have been given a process in which I can make decisions based on my principles, which I took time to acquire and boundaries which came with the principles, If you dont stand for something, you'll fall for anything. Today i stand for something and it keeps my life balanced and with that comes gratitude. this was a very slow process, I had to just be grateful for eyes, ears, legs etc for some days thats how deep I had to dig to find anything to be grateful for. My life was such a mess and I have done this many times over the past 18 yrs, screwed up my life, usually it concerned a man, i would sell out for lonliness and accept being in a relationship with someone who didnt even come close to having the principles and qualities that parallel my own. So soon we would drift apart (trust issues) when theres no trust, theres no relationship and being co-de I would have to go thru seeing it as it really is, release, knowing I was ok and so was he but we just werent meant to be together, together we were deadly for each other for I would go to any lenghts to keep them, till they hurt too much, then i'd finally let them go and then the healing. the blessed healing. I always thought I was going to die if I let them go until I realized that the love and nurturing that i felt lived inside of me, had nothing to do with them, it was my gift that I not only gave to them at the time but that I got to enjoy and nobody could ever take it with them when they left, they were just the fortunate recipient as long as I decided to share it with them. The relationships i choose to have today have mutual respect, love, trust, interests and I give them time to evolve without jumping into something more than they are. or I would rather go it alone, I go to meetings 6 days a week usually and when you're sharing your es&h with the alcoholic who still suffers it's hard to feel lonely unless of course, I havent worked on deeper issues. So I guess the way I stay grateful is to not ignore the principles and boundaries i have worked so hard to acquire and work with others. All I know is that I am truly happy today, fulfilled and free and I have so little that the world would deem success. No matter, i have the stuff that counts and makes life worth living and it all comes from having God as my partner and not trying to bullsh-- myself anymore. too old and too tired LOL (laugh out loud) Really nice to be with you today sober and clean, Dear God please bless all who venture here. Love and hugs, bon -- bonzoc@webtv.net


Member: gary a
Location: pgh pa
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 21:45:20

Comments


Member: gary m
Location:
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 21:51:39

Comments

hi first time here i hope to get sober one prayer at a time


Member: Pam B.
Location: Oregon
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 22:36:41

Comments

Pam B. here, alcoholic, drug addict. Spirituality I take it is the topic? In my years of staying dry without AA I probably went to a handful of meetings, with my father or husband(both in recovery also),but God forbid! never for myself. I knew I was an alcoholic and addict, but I didn't need AA or a program or a HP! Well, I think you know how this story goes. After drinking again, my craving for alcohol came back so strong it brought me to a sense of desperation I had never felt before.It was an all consuming, from the time I opened my eyes in the morning till the time I closed them at night craving.My husband kept asking if I wanted to go a meeting, and I finally said yes. I knew that this craving was not going to go away on its own, and I definetely could not do it myself. I had never had any sort of faith in my life and the idea of a HP having anything to do with me on a personal level was totally foreign to me. All I know is that after asking repeatedly numerous times daily to be relieved of the craving, one night at a meeting, out of the blue, it occured to me that i hadn't thought about a drink all day! For that matter, I couldn't remember when the craving went, ONLY THAT IT DID. And a power greater than myself did that. Of that i am certain. I still don't know what or who(he,she,they,it?) is. All I know is I have faith in a power greater than myself and for today that works for me. And for this and AA I am truly grateful. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Linda P (Traveler)
Location: CA, USA
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 23:32:35

Comments

Hi, Linda an alcoholic. I am full of gratitude for my sobriety and for the lady that God placed in my path to see me through the doors of AA. Grateful to the sponsor that God directed me to who led me through the steps and gave me perspective on issues to overcome them.

The life I lead today is far different than the one I led when drinking. Like a few posts prior, I could identify with the suicide attempts, severe depressions, and not wanting to be part of this world while I was drinking. What a difference sobriety has brought. I have a place in this world unique for me that God has selected where I carry out His Will daily. Thanks to God who loves me and finds me precious in his sight, I no longer believe I am a worthless human being destined for self-destruction by alcohol and overdoses. I have a reprieve today contingent on my relationship to Him. That means I keep in daily contact with God through Step 11. There is no price tag for that kind of acceptance and love that has been there for me by my HP. His gift given freely was found when I decided to seek Him. Those depressions have been replaced with the joy for living life to the fullest. Thanks for allowing me to share.


Member: Pat O'B
Location: Western Colorado
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 00:03:57

Comments

Hi I am grateful that when I needed a solution, alcohol was available; when I needed comfort and excuses the sick women were handy; when I needed people to abuse, they were readily at hand; when I needed to get hurt, it always happened right on schedule. But when these solutions quit being enough, this program materialized out of thin air. I frmly beleive that my whole life has been spiritually guided. I say this because today after ten years clean and sober, my life is very good. It has meaning and purpose and fullfilment. But,my life today could not be what it is, if one little event in the past had been just a littl ittsy bit different.

therfore, my entire life must have been good. My problem is that I do not always know what isa best for me, particularly at any given time, I am always wondering about the big picture, but the truth is that I can not grasp the little picture. Besides, the disappointments come from my plans going awry.

I pray for my life to change and get better, and when I lose thqt job that was driving me crazy, I get upset. Huh, did I miss something relavent along the way or what?

Don't always know it, but I'm grateful


Member: craig r
Location: southern cal
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 02:42:28

Comments

hello im craig r a double winner im new to internet meetings i have 20 months clean and sober


Member: Pete B.
Location: sw MI
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 05:32:13

Comments

Hi.. I'm Pete, an alcoholic !

Spirituality grew somewhat fast early on....only because I surrendered (this time). Yes, I had meetings, sponsor, phone numbers, etc.....but there were times inbetween when I didn't have these. So I put 2 and 2 together and started to rely on God (Higher Power). I said ...ok, here's the problem ... You take over! ...the ball is in your court. And low & behold, I bagan to rely more and more on the spirituality aspect of the program.....and it worked. Every time I flirted with alcoholic thoughts ... I said the serenity prayer...from the heart and faced the hard realities of being honest with myself. That strength came through the Spirit !!! Need I say more ????? Have a super sober day/week !!................ Pete


Member: Max J.
Location: Necedah, WI
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 11:28:41

Comments

Hello, Max J. alcoholic, Thank God & AA, if I had not found AA I am sure I would be dead today, God bless all.


Member: brian . m.
Location: nfld.canada.
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 20:25:34

Comments

hi. my name is brian and i,m one too.i,m sober 6yrs and grateful.i have 2 older brothers and a brother inlaw sober and in aa.i,m very glad to be sober.


Member: Allison k
Location: AZ
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 02:56:43

Comments

Hi my name is Allison, I'm an alcoholic/addict, there is nothing in my life that me and god can't handle together. I am grateful that I don't ever have to feel alone again. I think that might be the greatest gift I have recieved so far. I love my life!! I love all of you, Allison


Member: JackieB
Location: Mississippi
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 08:40:45

Comments

Hi. I'm Jackie B, an alcoholic and addict. I am grateful my husband had a drinking problem...that brought me to AA to discover my own. It has been 8 years and 9 months since my last drug, a little longer since my last drink, and you know what? Life has gotten good. When I couldn't find a "god" I said the serenity prayer. "He" always materialized. I have lived my sober years on the serenity prayer and the Lord's prayer. Though coming from a strong Christian background, as many of us did, I wasn't ready to fall back into the readymade concept of God and religion. I have found that, for me, a spiritual life is much more important than religion. I haven't looked in the dictionary, but think one of the definitions of "religiously" is that you do something on a regular basis. Thanks, but that's not the important part. I think I'll have mine on a "spiritual" basis.

I travel quite a bit and sometimes do not go that extra mile to find a meeting. therefore, I am grateful to find StayingCyber as an alternative. I have been to English speaking meetings in many corners fo the world, Mexico, Sweden, Thailand, Bahrain, and guess what? We truly are all the same. We have a drinking/thinking problem.

I'm grateful i woke up today. I didn't just come to. And last night, I went to sleep, I didn't pass out. Since becoming sober/clean good things ahve come my way. The great job opportunities, etc. I have also had some heartache (it wouldn't be an earthly life if I hadn't). I lost my mother to brain cancer, but guess what? God allowed me to take care of her for a year before she went - the hardest yest greatest thing I've ever done in my life.

I learned that I can give as well as take. I do not want to be selfish and all those other "fine" qualities that I am - the ones that make up ME. The way to change that is to work at it and ask for some help - that includes "earthly" help from my fellow members and "heavenly" help from upstairs.

Thank you for letting me share. Have a great day :-)


Member: Eileen
Location: Pa.
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 09:18:42

Comments

Hi, I am an alcoholic named Eileen. Pete said it all for me. Gave it all to God and asked him to please take over as I could not do it myself. Thanks to Almighty God I had the craving taken away. I have not had to drink in over 4 months. Anyone out there who really wants to stop drinking, please give it a try. Can't say enough about this wonderful fellowship of AA. Have nothing to lose and everything to gain. God help all alcoholic's.


Member: James M
Location: PDX, Or
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 13:10:08

Comments

howdy all. I am an alcoholic. Grattitude is a thing that comes to me in odd moments. I don't seek it. it just happens. yesterday morning, as I was looking at on;ine resources for drunks like myself, I had a flash of gratitude that is with me still. It occurred to me that in terms of material things, I am much better off than the law of averages usually treats people who behaved like I did. like I still do. like I still do, because the only thing god has done for me so far, it seems, is remove the compulsion to drink. I read that "god willl do for us what we cannot do for ourselves". Naturally, I tried to take that apart, find an angle. Much to my dismay, the only angle I could come up with was "god will not do for us what we CAN do for ourselves". Thanks to working The steps I have worked, with a sponsor, I have a clearer idea of what is, and is not in my control. and because of the "willingness to go to any length" that my sponsor (God bless the B*****d..) helped me internalize, I I am not asking God to do for me what I can do for myself, one day at a time. I am not even near being a well person, yet. but a willingness to be aware of God's instructions, and a willingness to follow those instructions with "vigorous action" has kept the compulsion to drink away. For those gifts, which is how I view them today, I am not resentful. That may the gratitude I need to have,, "just for today". thanks y'all..


Member: Barbara S.
Location: NJ
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 13:32:38

Comments

My name is Barbara and I'm an alcoholic.

I've been thinking a lot about spirituality lately. I've come to believe that a person who seeks for God will find a God of his or her understanding (or, as in my case, of my non-understanding! - I don't really understand God, but I believe, now, that God understands me). I've been reading a lot about spiritual matters recently, too, and talking with others I find on this journey of life, in the program of AA and outside of it, too. My spiritual journey means, for me, that I try to do as much as I can (never enough!) to put positive energy into the stream of life.

I've found that prayer works, and that meditation does, too. And I've come to feel very much at home on earth, part of it all and happy to be alive (even when life is difficult). I can't say for sure how all this has occurred, and I can never tell another person what or how to believe, but I can say this: for me, it works! And it might work for you, too. So much has come from the smallest bit of willingness to start the journey.

Thanks for your post, Eileen - I always get a lot from what you write. Peace to all -


Member: Sandy M
Location: Virginia
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 16:10:49

Comments

Hi, I'm Sandy and I'm an alcoholic. I'm happy to find a meeting online. My AA husband and I recently moved from Florida to an isolated area of SW Virginia. Since the move he's become quite ill- was just diagnosed with Crohn's disease. I've been feeling isolated. I read AA literature every day, which helps a lot. Powerlessness is a continual state these days. Most of the time my husband is in this terrible pain. It's hard sometimes to keep a balance of humility with the need to get proper medical care. In this boondockie area doctors run their practices however they want. Both my husband and I have been struggling to stay humble in our dealings but at the same time get across the seriousness of his medical condition. Not to be gross or anything but even reporting blood in his stool, for instance, got no more response than, "It'll be Thursday before the Dr.'s back in this office. Sorry." I mean, what do you do? I have 5 1/2 years sober and my husband has over 6. We've been in stressful, isolated situations since being sober- we went on a year long sailing cruise and handled a lot of danger and illness successfully. This dealing with real life- social situations and correct decisions is more difficult than simply facing death from a storm at sea or taking apart a complicated boat engine of which you have no knowledge. Don't get me wrong, I am truly grateful to be sober and safe on dry land. It's the 'small' situations that try a person's patience and show their true metal, I think. If anyone has a suggestion on handling 'justified' anger that we alcoholics are not supposed to have, I'm open. I just want to do the next right thing- make sure my loved one gets the medical treatment he needs while remaining humble. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Stan B.
Location: New York City
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 22:45:28

Comments

Hi, I'm Stan and oh boy but I'm an alcoholic. The topic of asking for help from the higher power. I often lose my gratitude in the day to day struggle to pay the bills, stay sober and sane. I forget that there is a loving higher power who showed me the way. I forget that if I never acconmplish anything else (and I hope to) that God gave me the gift of a new life. I have to use it. My prayers are with you Sandy.S


Member: Amy GC
Location: Switzerland
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 07:52:34

Comments

Hello my name is Amy and I am an alcoholic. Spirituality, that is a big issue with me, you see I believe that I would never have found sobriety if it were not for the loving grace of my hp Jesus Christ. My life was in a shambles, I had made such a mess of my life with the help of this disease and at the same time I was so very physically sick from it. I had known Christ as a child but my addiction had closed him out completely. When I hit my rock bottom I woke up one morning in misery, you remember the feeling, and fell to my knees in tears. Something gave me the idea to pray, heck I had tried everything else. I prayed saying something like "I do not know whether or not you exist, but if you God I pray in Jesus name that you show me what to do with my life, where to turn, where to go, I pray for your will Amen!" Well I immediately felt a release of my burden but still was clueless about what to do, my husband of that time was also an acoholic and was still very much enjoying his disease, with no interest in recovery or any God of mine. I had thought I wanted a certain promotion in my work place and when I did not get it my first reflex was to think, ha! No God. Later that week I was again drunk and miserable and a good friend said "Amy my friend you need help, ist ok, take a mental marguerita and go to rehab...Well I thought the reason I went to rehab was to get off my addiction to a prescription drug I had been taking and lo and behold they suggested that I might be an alcoholic with all they taught me. I resisted this with a STRONG desire to hang onto at least this vice, surely it was not as bad as pills or pot...15 days later I began my true quest for serenity through the program of AA. AA is still helping me deal with defects of character 3 and a half years later. Well my Lord did answer my prayer, not at all in the way I THOUGHT was right but in his way which is always right. No, it has not always been easy, in fact it has been sometimes dam hard to follow this path but I am thankful that my God is an awesome God and that I seek to follow his will now in my life, I want to be an instrument of HIS peace and when I was a drunk all I really cared about was the next drunk. Give yourself a chance my friends, Let go and Let God, thanks for letting me share, Amy GC


Member: Chris L
Location: Wisconsin
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 11:44:25

Comments

Hi, I'm Chris, alcoholic. Fresh into attempting sobriety. I've tried on my own before but that doesn't work so well. For now, at least, I will try joining in "on-line" Today I am grateful that I found this web site. It feels good to read other's comments and to know that not only are there are others suffering with the same rotten disease, but that there are also survivors and winners. Maybe there's hope, after all. Thanks, Chris


Member: SHER H
Location: PORTLAND OR
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 13:55:54

Comments

Hi my name is Sher and I'm an alcoholic. This is the first time I've been on the net and this page. It is very fitting I would seek you out. By the grace of a GOD I do not understand some of the time and the fellowship of AA I celebrated 10 years of continuous sobriety June 18. I would like to say I love Alcoholics Anonymous with all my heart. I have served AA in one form after another since I was 30 days sober. I was told early on that service work would keep Alcoholics Anonymous alive, and Alcolholics Anonymous would keep me alive. I have found this to be true. I would like to thank all of you for my sobriety, because alone it never happened for me, I needed you. God needs us to work through, I try to remember that when I'm standing in judgement of another. Thank you for alowing me to share.


Member: MARK O.
Location: NJ
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 14:52:03

Comments

MY name is Mark and I'm an alcoholic.Coming up in 6 months sober and it is a blessing and a miracle. my life today is good. not drinking is good I dindn't have anything to do with my getting sober.It was an act of providance.I still have litte to do with it today. All I know today is what I've been tought in the rooms of AA and I am truely grateful that when I got there, thier were people who woud listen. Not judge. they truely understood what I was going through and had been there before.I just keep going to meetings, prey for acceptance and Gods will for me, try to be humble, talk to another alcoholic,and continue to practice these principles in all my afairs to the best of my ability .Just for today. but even if I don't do all thoses things. I STILL CAN'T DRINK.no matter what. that's all I got

MARK


Member: Debbie C.
Location: Colorado
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 15:09:46

Comments

I'm Debbie & an alcoholic. To Chris L in Wisconsin glad to see that you are seeking help. There is no such thing as being able to do it on your own. I have been sober 15 years and it is only through the fellowship of this program that I have been so fortunate. While being able to communicate on the internet with other AA's is a good first step, you must know that this is not an alternative to physically attending meetings in your area. Try going to some meetings and you will find what we have all found....peace, happiness, gratitude and TRUE sobriety...I am very grateful today for this wonderful gift of sobriety !


Member: Barry M.
Location: Villa Grove, IL
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 16:56:51

Comments

Hi, everyone, I'm Barry - alcoholic/drug addict. I'm pretty new to this site and to being clean, but I thought I'd thank all of you for being here and I'll keep coming back, for sure. This is great for me in that it acts as my "second meeting" of each day. I have my home group meeting, which I attend faithfully, and then I can always come here later!!

I heard an interesting comment at a meeting that I'd like to share. A gentleman remarked that each day when he asked for God's will to be done, he made it a point to ask God to "keep him sober", rather than "help to keep him sober". The reason being that his HP certainly did not need any assistance, particularly from him!! I don't think my God needs any help either - conversely it's probably just as well that I stay the heck out of the way!! LET GO AND LET GOD!!!!

Take it easy, you guys. You're the best!!!


Member: marge c
Location: nashville, tn
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 18:01:47

Comments

I'm Marge, a very grateful alcoholic. For me, the topics of spirituality and gratitude are so totally intertwined.

when I first got here, I thought that spirituality was impossible for me. The godstuff just didn't work for me.

As the sober days mounted up, I found myself feeling gratitude, and expressing it. And realized that this 'conscious contact' people talked about came when I was expressing gratitude for the gifts I was being given.

Today, gratitude remains the foundation stone of my spiritual journey. It has also made my daily life much better, since in order to maintain a contact with godasidon'tundersthandhim/her/it I have to focus on finding things to be grateful for. Amazing how many there are, even on "bad" days.

Today I am most grateful that I am being given a second chance at being a mother to my youngest child. As I celebrated nine years sobriety, she needed a safe place to live, and to start her own journey of recovery. Thanks to the gifts I've been given in the program, I am able to offer her that, and to attempt to be a very different mother than I was when she last lived under my life.

thanks for letting me share!


Member: Mark L.
Location: Seattle, WA
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 18:36:36

Comments

Hey everyone! Like a lot of people I'm grateful that this Website exists. I'm grateful that I don't have to go running all over town to get to a meeting whenever I need some perspective on my situation. I'm grateful that I'm sober and I don't have to wrestle with my demons today.

Thanks for the opportunity share.


Member: Ruby O.
Location: Talladega,Al
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 22:17:01

Comments

Hello I am Ruby a grateful recovered alcoholic; I am grateful to be here today and to have spirituality. The preceding was very inspiring. Thanks Lisa for the reminders of early days in sobriety. Pete I know that every day in sobriety I know more about spirituality and that it has become more of an adventure in sobriety and so much more simple than it used to be. I believe in God and today I trust him. I know that without AA I would have no gratitude or be aware of my spirit. It has been said many tomes (there's nothing new I say ) that it is hard to be sick with a belly full of spirituality and gratitude,we just can't hold a resentment with those. So that being the case I know I am grateful for all 12 steps in the order they were divinely written Thank you AAers and God


Member: Brian C.        
Location: SW   IA
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 03:04:44

Comments

To Larry, just don't go out and celebrate the wrong way! Congrats! Bonnie apparently hasn't heard the one about alcoholics take prisonors. Keep coming back. Amy, talk about going international, this is the first time I've been online with a meeting but this is really cool. Someone told me almost ten years ago there are three parts of the program, the spiritual, the spiritual, and the spiritual. I have a little over 10 years now and I don't know what I'd do without my God. He does so many things for me that I can't do for myself. I still think that He made the words come out of my mouth to my mother when I was in jail that I wanted to go to treatment, although I didn't figure it out for a few years. My spiritual awakening was a three part adventure. ALL of which I received though members of this and another 12 step program.I beleive that God speaks to me through other people I just have to be willing to listen! Yours in ssobriety Brian C. chemically-dependant alcoholic


Member: Jennifer L.
Location: Katy, Texas
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 09:34:11

Comments

Hi my name is Jennifer and I am an alcoholic. This is my first meeting on line. I am in some fear right now because I am getting ready to move overseas to the middle east. Some say that this is a great move for a person like "ME" because alcohol is "ILLEGAL" however, we all know that it is everywhere in life. I am sure of my faith thank you God and AA. but still have to admit that finding this spot has releived some of my fright. I will be visiting again soon specially since I depart on July 14th. Thanks for being here and listening. With God anything is possible and everything IS. That's all, Thankyou.


Member: Scott J
Location: New Hampshire
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 11:59:25

Comments

Hi everyone, I'm Scott alcoholic. I spent two years trying to quit drinking before coming to AA. It was a roller coaster ride of jumping on and falling off the wagon. At the time, I knew it felt like a roller coaster, but, incredibly, I couldn't see that the highs coincided with my dry spells and the lows coincided with my drinking bouts! I thought I drank because of the lows, instead of the other way around. It is so perfectly clear now, I hardly believe I couldn't see it then.

My life since I've been staying sober in AA has continued to feel life a roller coaster ride. I'm beginning to see now that my highs in sobriety coincide with a close connection with my higher power and my lows coincide with a tight connection to self-will. Again, it's so clear now, I hardly believe I couldn't see it sooner.

It seems that as long as I work on my relationship with my higher power, I progress in other areas without realizing it, but as soon as I ignore my higher power, progress grinds to a halt. This topic is just what I needed today and needed all along. Thanks everyone for sharing.

To Barry, I think you might run into trouble if you believe your HP will keep you sober without your assistance. Consider bringing this up at a meeting to see what people say.. Scott


Member: DebbieP
Location: Louisville Ky
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 16:53:17

Comments

Hi all! My name is Debbie P. I'm abour 4 days sober this time. I love talking about gratitude. I have found that grat. is great for keeping myself in today. It's always easier to be grateful for things happening today than those of years ago or even just yesterday. My biggest gratitude today is that there was another recovery left in my life. I found it necessary to go back out after 4 1/2 years of continuous days. Today I found this site and a group of people with whom to share. Thanks for listening. Debbie


Member: Jan D.
Location: WI
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 21:48:38

Comments

Hello! I'm Jan and I am an alcoholic. This is the second time I joined this AA meeting on the web. I should of marked the spot in my bookmark because after my first visit, I found out that my memory isn't as good as I thought. So, I'm grateful to find this spot again.

I've been sober only about 18 months after drinking up a storm for over 26 years. The last few years of my drinking time was hell on earth. I knew I had a higher power even before I quit drinking and came to AA. I had been reading in the bible how the drunkard would not inherit the kingdom of heaven. After reading that, I still wondered if the bible passage meant me. One time after a night of drinking, a thought popped into my head and said, "You can't do my will when you're drunk." I knew at that moment that my higher power was talking to me. I didn't quite drinking then yet either. I had to turn my life into more crap before I finally surrendered.

Things are not perfect yet, but with each passing day I can recognize another thing to surrender to my higher power. For today, I am grateful that I have not had a drink and I will inherit the kingdom of heaven with others who are doing the will of their higher power. Thanks for being here!


Member: DIANE B.
Location: NW Hills, CT
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 00:39:25

Comments

Hello. My name is DIANE. I am an alcoholic. My sobriety date is 4/11/98.

I am grateful to have learned that I suffer from a disease called Alcoholism. Yes, I'm grateful for that, because as my drinking progressed from "social" to "problematic" over the past few years, I thought my excessive drinking was my own personal "character defect". I didn't like myself because I couldn't correct that defect, no matter how hard I tried. In those last dark days before I "hit bottom" I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror because I couldn't stand the sight of this person I had no understanding of.

The "first day of the rest of my life" began when a doctor explained Alcoholism to me, equating it to Diabetes and other diseases. How could I not have understood that before? Hasn't that been a well known fact for years? Yes, but perhaps I'm a product of my generation and/or of my environment... My parents never touched a drop of liquor in their lives. Anyone with a "drinking problem" was "stupid and selfish". That's what I learned from them and that's what I understood until I went into treatment and joined the AA community.

Now I smile when I look at myself in the mirror, feeling truly grateful to understand this disease called Alcoholism!

Thank you for letting me participate! Always, DIANE


Member: Richar:Sundance
Location: West Coast
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 04:24:21

Comments

Richard here I'm an alcoholic, addict, nico. slave, caffeine seeker, ice cream fiend, feel good junky, MOREITE. And, I'm grateful to have seemingly recovered from a hopeless state of mind and body. Since I sobered up I've become a member of the human race. And, though sometimes I do not like being a part of such a rag bag group. They are my family, and I'm trying to learn how to treat them like fellow brothers and sisters in the spirit. Because we all have the same Dad/MOM/Whatever!! Now, that is really hard for me because I'm alcoholic and cop resentment easy. Therefore, I try to be kind, but when I'm not I pray for the other A@% ***** to get everything he/she wants. Cores I know that's not what they need, so I guess I got room to grow: ya think??


Member: Doug B.
Location: GA
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 10:29:15

Comments

Hi all, I'm Doug, an alcoholic grateful to be recovering. My sobriety date: April 16, 1976. RE: spirituality---what is God (or your Higher Power) doing for you today, that YOU could not do for yourself? How many times did I 'put the plug in the jug'? But, I couldn't make it stay there. My God did! How many times did I try to change ME? I couldn't then; and, still can't! My God could and did: and still can and will IF I sincerely ASK. My God gave me two ears and one mouth. WHY? To listen twice as much as I talk. Ponder on these things. Thanks for allowing me to share.


Member: Jim E
Location: Mt St. Helens
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 10:40:16

Comments


Member: Jim E
Location: Mt St Helens
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 10:45:17

Comments

Hi friends of Bill W. I've got just 11 days and I'll be clean and sober for 20 years. Been known as crazy Jim but now, just Jim. Just got the address to this so not much to say.


Member: Susan M.
Location: SE Iowa
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 12:19:43

Comments

Thank you for the opportunity to find fellow sufferers on the Web! I just want to say that I am just glad to be a member of AA. I have been through a period of uncertainty with this program. We just moved (2 years ago) from the Washington State area to Iowa. I did not like this and had a hard time getting along with everyone. I have just recently let go and can now say that I am a member of the group. They do things differently, and they are not as "cool" or sophisticated as I am used to, but they are fellows who are "trudging the road of happy destiny" as best as they can. I am glad they are making the journey with me. I am glad to let go and let God show me a group of people that I can stay sober with. That is why I am glad you are here, too. To enable me to reach out to others. Thanks.


Member: mary M.
Location: North Carolina
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 21:02:19

Comments

Hi everyone. I'm Mary and an alcoholic. Spirituality has always been a source of confusion for me. I've been searching all my life and have been from one end to the other. Extreme left to extreme right and back again. All the while searching for "something". Now I feel I've found what my heart has desired and searched for. A personal relationship with a loving, forgiving HP, who is not even remotely as compulsive as I had believed for so long. I owe this to AA and the 12 steps.

I also thought that I had to be where I wanted to be(as if I knew what that was)before I could ask Him for help. Now I trust he knows better than I about where I'm going and I'm learning to trust Him. All of that with out being a fanatic,either. Now it's no longer a matter of being Left or right, It's only a matter of being me and doing for today. I've found that being in recovery is much more than just being sober. I was sober at various times for various lengths of time but miserable as hell. I don't have to live that way anymore. I'm in recovery now.

Love you all, mary


Member: Karen M.
Location: Pittstown, NJ
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 22:31:40

Comments

I was especially touched by Sandy's comments-- I will keep you both in my prayers. On the topic of spirituality, it all comes down to trusting something greater than me, turning my fear into faith that all things will work out for the highest good. I first had to trust one other human being, my sponsor. From there I trusted the AA group. Then, I got the connected with HP. Each day, I ask myself the question: will I live from my fear or my faith today? If I trust God, I will come to know the next right thing to do. If I think I have to have the answers, then life becomes a struggle.

Having God in my life allows me to relax and go with the flow, instead of fighting the river.

God Bless all of you! Karen


Member: RICH A
Location: LAS VEGAS
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 01:22:18

Comments

HI .MY name is Rich and I am an alcoholic.I am comming up on 10 years in August. I am a grateful member of AA and a first time visitor to this meeting. Spirituality (GOD) is my favoite topic. I love to hear about GOD and how other members feel about God. To me, GOD is the real foundation of the program. I believe that Bill W and DR. Bob were inspired by God to start AA so that all these lost sheep could find thier way back to God. My program is totally based around God and trying to turn my will and life over to him on a daily basis as best as I can. If we really work the steps,then we have no choice but to have a spiritual awakening.I thank God every day for AA, for AA gave me GOD.A good friend of mine who has over 30 years told me somthing really neat. He said, "We need to use the 800 number to God all the time, not 911 just when we need it. GOD IS,WAS,and ALWAYS will be there for us. Its our job to ask. I need to remember that HE is in charge not me. I need to treat his kids the best I can and carry the message .Thank you all for letting me share and God Bless You All.


Member: Neil/Dave
Location: Plymouth England
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 10:36:20

Comments

Greetings from Neil and David from the roads of recovery, Plymouth England. We were very interested in reading some of the shares, especially Miki, like you said its only a day at at a time and if we do the right things the right things happen. Altough this is our first experience of a cyber meeting, we are members of this wonderful fellowship of AA. Neil has been in recovery for 8 years, however 2 years with a big book sponsor. I'm called David and I was introduced to AA 5 years ago however I entered recovery 8 weeks ago. As we are new members of this group, are we the most important people in the cyber room? And if so would it be possible to have a member on line to share their experience of the cyber group with us.


Member: cliff  m. the pickle
Location: seattle   WA.
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 10:55:04

Comments

hi all cilff the pickle here..... allways good to hear from all you sober people out there no matter how mucch soberity you all have something good to say... I have a lot of grattitude for all of you for you all taught me the way of life I practiced scw...g it up a lot when i was out there. I had to learn the hard way to \rely on my higher power because i always knew the best way .... yah. to mess it up,life that is .... god got me here and has showen me the best ways to live by putting people and things in myu life that inhance my sobriety wetaher I chose to use them is another thing . thank god for this program and the poeple in it god bless and keep you all allways cliff


Member: THERESA
Location:
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 16:23:14

Comments

Hi my name is Theresa and I am an alcoholic. Today is a bad day for me, my husband is in hospital and while I was visiting the person he is having an affair with arrived-It made me feel so bad. I was unable to go to a f2f meeting today but I was so glad my HP was with me so I did not react as badly as I would have done without the help of the 12 step programme and AA. I am so gratefull to staying cyber. Today I have to put into practice what I am so used to suggesting to others THY WILL BE DONE NOT MINE and also GOD ALWAYS KNOWS WHAT IS BEST FOR ME. It still hurts but I ALSO HAVE TO LEARN TO ACCEPT. THANKYOU FOR LISTENING TO ME I LOVE YOU ALL I DONT NEED TO FEAR BEING ALONE. THERESA


Member: Jamie B.
Location: New York
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 19:38:47

Comments

Hi my name is Jamie and I am a alcoholic.I am having a hard time with the third step. I can't seem to let go and let God. I know in order to stay sober I need to do this and I want to. Please give me some feedback.

P.S.I have 9 months today thanks to God and AA.


Member: Mark M.
Location: WV
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 21:16:43

Comments

Hi, I'm Mark alcoholic. My sobriety date is May 8, 1995, I just found this site about 2 weeks ago and am very glad for that. Your comments are as close to a meeting in person as one could hope for. I really need some insight into working the steps, I would really appreciate anyone who has done so successfully and has some good sobriety time being maybe an email sponsor. Thanks all for being here. Hunt 306@yahoo.com


Member: Kathy M
Location: Vista, California
Date: 28 Jun 1998
Time: 00:25:41

Comments

Hello.

This is my first time on this. I'm glad I found it because I hope to find other sober friends to share life and stay sober with!

I have been sober for 8 years. I am grateful today to be sober. God has given me beautiful gifts today. I have a 5 year old son and he is the light of my life. God willing he will never see my drunk as I was sober when I gave birth to him. I am living such a different life now than before. I try to live life on lifes terms and keep in touch with my higher power. I hope to find other sober friends. You can reach me at: kit_kat33.@yahoo.com


Member: laura
Location: nyc
Date: 28 Jun 1998
Time: 02:49:57

Comments

Hi all of you out there!! I am very grateful to AA and my wonderful sponsor who is a double winner like me. I met him in OA and when he told me he was sober for 7 years I was wary of him. He listened to me talk about drugs and "slipping" in OA (I was trying to abstain from drinking since I binged on alcohol...duh!) for seven months and not once did he shove the program down my throat. He waited until I bottomed before he gently suggested I go to a meeting "Doesn't matter which program"...the seed was planted and I found myself in an AA meeting and cryin' and identifyin' all over the place. I now see my HP put the right person in my path and my AA sponsor, a wonderful woman is a Godsend too. Through working with both these people I have rediscovered God and love.