Member: Joan B
Location: West Virginia
Date: 6/19/00
Time: 9:00:32 AM

Comments

It looks like I am the first one here. I would like to hear some ES&H about how we stop doing the same things over and over and expect different results. I think we call that insanity!


Member: Sarah M
Location: Little Rock
Date: 6/19/00
Time: 9:19:55 AM

Comments

Hi I am Sarah and I am alcoholic. Great topic for me today. My insane behavior of continuing to do the same things over and over again can be directly related to "guilt" and "fear". I spent all my time trying make things stay the same in my life (my job, my marriage, etc.) and when things would get rocky, I would get drunk. My former marriage (just got divorced 2 months ago) is a great example of this vicious cycle. I was ridden with guilt when I would think about ending it and then the fear would take over. I was so afraid of being alone because I mistakenly thought alone meant lonliness. The truth was that I was lonely as heck in the marriage and my little guilt/fear cycle was what kept me from finally doing something about it. So instead I drank myself silly.

Today, after getting into this program and doing a few 4th steps, I don't let either of those character defects lead me back to the insanity of trying to control my destiny. I finally got it after fighting it for so long. I finally stopped trying to make something work that was not going to work and made the choice to move in a different direction. Yes, that meant leaving the marriage, but I am much happier now and I am not in that sickening vicious cycle of doing the same things over and over and over and over and over again and expecting a different result! I love the quote my sponsor always says, "as long as you keep doing what you have always done, you will keep getting what you have always gotten." How true that is and how well that describes our insane behaviors!

Thanks for letting me share with you all today.


Member: Carla
Location: Texas
Date: 6/19/00
Time: 10:05:53 AM

Comments

Hello, Carla here(alky). I agree with Sarah I think we keep re-peting our actions because of guilt/fear & her sponcer has a great saying for that subject. I had been sober for almost three weeks when I fell of the wagon by doing my same old routine. Please give a shout out to the HP for me. Okay?

PS: keep up all the great support program.


Member: Candace
Location: North Carolina
Date: 6/19/00
Time: 11:24:31 AM

Comments

Hi, my name is Kimberly and I am an alcoholic. This is a special topic for me this week. I am living with my extended family this summer and it is not going well. I must remember "insanity" and what it means. If I want different results, I need to take different actions, positive and healthy actions that I have learned in this program. Thank you for being here as there are no meetings in this town and I have come from a town that had a dozen meetings a week. On this Thursday I will be travelling with another lady that I met here to a town nearby for a meeting. You all are and will continue to be my life support until then. Thank you all.


Member: Shawn c
Location: Lowell,ma
Date: 6/19/00
Time: 12:07:57 PM

Comments

My father is a binje drinker. Every friday,saturday,and sunday. he drinks because he is depressed,and i dont know why he is depressed. how can i make him stop.


Member: David
Location: Los Angeles
Date: 6/19/00
Time: 12:54:20 PM

Comments

Hello. My name is David and I'm an alcoholic. Good topic. I believe, and this is my opinion, that we have all been there. For me I learned through steps 6 and 7 how to stop doing that old behavior. One of my character defects is my thinking. I had to get rid of my old thinking that doing the same thing over and over would get me a different result. I learnes to talk my old ideas and put them aside, for me that's easier that getting rid of them as they seem to never go away totaly, and replace them with new ideas that I've learned here in alcoholics annonymous.


Member: CatherineB
Location:
Date: 6/19/00
Time: 2:00:57 PM

Comments

Hi Catherine here alcolic I too have been doing the same thing over and over expecting different results, but always getting the same results. Starting today i am going to do things difeerently love all


Member: CatherineB
Location: boston MA
Date: 6/19/00
Time: 2:01:25 PM

Comments

Hi Catherine here alcolic I too have been doing the same thing over and over expecting different results, but always getting the same results. Starting today i am going to do things difeerently love all


Member: steve p
Location: atlanta
Date: 6/19/00
Time: 2:05:41 PM

Comments

Hi guys! My name is Steve and I'm an alcoholic. great topic! i know i'm supposed to confine this to drinking, so i will keep it general. but i've been seeing the same vicious addictive cycle in my life with nicotine, and it's starting to cause the same types of insanity for me than alcohol did. no, i won't get stopped for smoking too much, but like alcohol, i find myself reaching for the smoke every time i don't want to feel something, get scared, angry, etc. have tried to quit several times, and am wondering how low i will have to go before i reach bottom? i don't want to crawl up into my disease anymore, no matter how it manifests itself in real life. could use your experience, strength and hope if you have any, and prayers are always welcomed. thanks, and have a great day!


Member: Corinne M.
Location: Whiterock, BC
Date: 6/19/00
Time: 3:01:56 PM

Comments

Hi all! Welcome to those that are new! What I've learnt about doing the same things over again is that change is sometimes hard. Even when were drunk, miserable, alone, angry, sick, etc. This is a comfort zone, sometimes it is all we know and therefore our comfort zone. We don't know how we are going to feel, when we quit drinking, lying, cheating, when we start asking for help, facing our problems, etc. It's scary, so sometimes even though we might feel like dying, it's easier then to change, and therefore get different results. I'm sooo grateful that you people, my HP, and the 12 steps gave me the courage to change and as a result have the life I have today. Thank-you.

Serene Corinne


Member: DonF
Location: NH
Date: 6/19/00
Time: 3:35:43 PM

Comments

Shaun C You can't make him ANYTHING! You can't make him better, or worse, or cause him to get drunk, or cause him to get sober. You CAN work on Shaun detaching his self-worth from the alcoholic's behavior. You CAN be OK regardless of his drinking. You CAN stop feeling responsible for him getting drunk. Shaun CAN take care of Shaun, nobody else. You CAN live your life around the seenity prayer "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference" You get that wisdom from others who have gone this way before. Meetings of Al Anon. I have a meeting list in your area. Donaldo88@aol.com


Member: Red B
Location: New Jersey
Date: 6/19/00
Time: 3:43:10 PM

Comments

Hello All. I'm Red and I'm an alcoholic. I've been "out" for many years after a short period of sobriety about 10 years ago. I've been doing the same thing over and over for years with the same old results. I get drunk to feel good and kill the pain of my personal life but all it ever does is to further alienate my friends and family. Every time I picked up the bottle, I thought that this time it would be different and this time Id stay in control. This was just another way of lying to myself and justifying another bout with the bottle. It is my desire to stop drinking and begin making the decisions that will lead to a sober, fruitful life. I am here to learn from those of you that can offer your help. Lord knows, I need it badly.


Member: Bonnie B
Location: Hart Michigan
Date: 6/19/00
Time: 6:18:16 PM

Comments

Hi everyone! Thanks for the good thoughts. THAT is what helps me. My thinking goes round and round and I get stuck -- even after TEN YEARS in AA!! I agree it has to do with fear and guilt and COMFORT. I feel a certain amount of comfort in my old ways, even if those ways are sicker than get-out. I have learned -- and need to remind myself of the fact that I must do what is UNCOMFORTABLE in order to keep going down this same wonderful path. If I always do what I always did -- I'll always get what I always got! Have a GREAT WEEK!


Member: Ross G
Location: Augusta ME
Date: 6/19/00
Time: 6:21:46 PM

Comments

Hi-I am Ross,alcoholic,neurotic,chaotic,and generally insane.I've got to comment!Honesty, acceptance and willingness[and a sense of humor] are the keys to all my problems.I have just got- ten out of a treatment center [the last house on the last street] and by the grace of God and the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous I am sober over a year one day at a time and enjoying one moment at a time.One of the gifts I have re- cieved for not picking up a drink for that time is the ability to see.Today I can see where I make mistakes,can make amends and choose not to make the same mistake twice.When I was drinking and drugging [30 yrs. total] I could not see how I was affecting myself or the people around me...and I didn't care!I had to get my next drink...no matter what I had to do.But today is a different day...a day to learn,a day to grow, it's the things I don't do now that get me in the most trouble. Thanks for letting me share... [my first time online].


Member: Al C.
Location: Florida
Date: 6/19/00
Time: 6:30:58 PM

Comments

I'm an alcoholic, my name is Al. Red, we all came back or come to AA with just one thing in our pockets: a desire to stop drinking. That's all that's necessary for a start. You're sure not alone, many of us took a long time, even after coming to AA, to get that 1st step perfect. It takes what it takes. For me alcohol had to really whip my ass good before I could approach this simple program with enough honesty, humility, and open mindedness to get any results. Congratulations, you've paid dearly to get the willingness to stop the madness. Alcoholism is a disease, not a moral issue. We are affected physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Go to an AA meeting, pick up a white chip, and ask for help. That's where you'll find your new extended family and the support you'll need on a daily basis. Right now keep it simple, we do this together one day at a time. Today is all I have and I choose not to drink today. Yesterday's gone, tomorrow will take care of itself. Today is all we have. If you can exert just one-half the energy towards AA and your recovery that you did getting booze when you wanted to drink you'll do well in this program. Good luck to you my friend...........Al


Member: Steve L
Location: Indiana
Date: 6/19/00
Time: 9:14:39 PM

Comments

Hi Everybody! Im Steve, alcoholic. Something that AA and sponsor have taught me to do is to learn to live and make decisions in the "gray"areas. Life isnt always black & white. There is often "more than one way to skin a cat". So they taught how to reason again. I was so confused when first sober couldnt think. Just feel. Sponsors answers are usually logical! Have a good day!


Member: Robert J.
Location: Rupert, Idaho
Date: 6/19/00
Time: 9:51:58 PM

Comments

Hi everybody, I'm an Alcoholic and my name is Robert.. Joan, good topic, I have to admit I still do some of those sick things expecting different results.. But I also remember that without my Deffects Of Character I would probably drink again.. I too must agree that it has alot to do with Fear and Guilt.. I must comment on the smoking thing, when I let go of smokin' I tried a suggestion of useing the steps, and it worked for me.. Shawn, it's true you can only take care of yoourself not somebody else.. The only thing that you can do for him is pray... I had the same kinda thing with my oldist brother and all I could do was pray that he get the message by example.. If you really need to, talk to your sponser or somebody really close to you and get some input from them, and I believe the Big Book talks a little about that kind of situation.. Anyway, thanx for letting me share today, it's been a long time since I was able to come in tho the room here.. Take Care, and remember that your sobriety is a gift from your HP, What you do with it is your gift back to your HP... Lots Of Love


Member: charlie
Location: maine
Date: 6/19/00
Time: 10:07:32 PM

Comments

charlie i am an alcholic, and this is a great topic, as i am in the same situation as kimberly. As i moved from Key West where the meetings were all the time to Maine where the meetings are few and definatly far. All i can do is to pray and gave acceptance of where i'm at today I was so very grateful to have found this sight, i really need all of you., as your my family and understand. not only am i alcholic i am also gay and found some members at the meeting to be homophic If anyone knows of meetings in the Agusta Maine area i would be very grateful. Love you all charlie


Member: DC
Location:
Date: 6/20/00
Time: 12:22:25 AM

Comments

I have not visited this site in a very long time and for some reason decided to this evening. There are reasons for everything in this world and this topic is no mistake or coincidence. I will not bore everyone with all of the details about my situation, but I will say that I am happy to report that I have finally stopped giving into the Guilt/Fear. You hit the nail on the head Sarah about those defects of character and how they lead us down that old "do it over and over again" path. It has taken many years and heart aches to finally understand the difference between alone and lonliness but like you Sarah, I have been very fortunate to realize that they are not one in the same. This has been proven to me time and again. In fact, being alone taught me how to really love myself enough to open my heart to love another. Great lesson!

All I know is when I am confronted with a difficult situation, I am given more than one path to take and often times the easy path of non resistance is not necessarily the correct one. My Higher Power has a way of always letting me know this as I am constantly presented with circumstances that require my choosing a different path. Just as I keep doing the same thing over and over again, God keeps presenting me with chances to change that over and over again. The key is to listen and act on what is presented to us. This I have found really does work. It was nice to visit once again. Perhaps I will return again sometime, but for right now I will say good bye.


Member: Vern
Location: Okinawa, Japan
Date: 6/20/00
Time: 1:15:57 AM

Comments

I am an alcoholic. David's statement on repetition and Red B's "Everytime I picked up the bottle, I thought that this time it would be different and this time I'd stay in control." Bravo guys sounds like a large piece in the definition of alocoholism. Man, I really get into this portion of total insanity. I've done things that are completely beyond my own comprehension when I was drunk but, you know I just kept coming back for more, over and over, Insanity,... I think that's pretty close to definition too. Alcohol is soo seductive and yet destructive, my wife and family just can't comprehend that I kept drinking over and over. Ya, I think insanity is an integral part of my confused, wanton, and desperate state. Thank you, all of you, for your thoughts and words. They are so very precious to my hopefully 5th day of sobriety, and thanks Al, for your words of experience in response to us, at least in sobriety, youngins.


Member: Jack B
Location: CUMBOLA,PA
Date: 6/20/00
Time: 2:39:20 AM

Comments

Hi I am Jack, a real alcoholic.Doing the same things over and over again expecting different results,is a great topic. Looking at my last drunk back in November 1987,and thinking that I can ever drink normally is total insanity.Thinking that I have to drink to face life on God's terms is total insanity.However I am a firm believer that the happiness is found in the steps.Without the steps I know only one way of living life, thats using my bar stool mentality.I become the same person just alcohol free.I do the same things, I react the same way. The only thing I ever got out of just not drinking was misery.The first step is about the problem, from step two on its about the solution. If my life doesn't get any better than it is at this exact moment, no regrets, no qualms, no looking back, I have been truly blessed by the Grace of God and Alcoholics Anonymous. Thanks for allowing me to share.


Member: MARCEL  [MAL]
Location: NEW HAMSPHIRE
Date: 6/20/00
Time: 4:14:59 AM

Comments

HI MARCEL L [MAL] RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC TO SHAWN FROM LOWELL MA. MY REPLY TO YOU IS TO REMEMBER THAT "I" MEANING YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ALONE CHANGE IS THE KEY WORD AS YOU INCORPORATE YOUR HIGHER POWER AS YOU UNDERSTAND HIM HIS WILL CREATES MIRACLES SINCERELY ASKING FOR HIS HELP WILL DO MORE THAN JUST HELP -YOUR DAD- [MAY ALSO HELP YOU WHEN YOU KEEP HIM FIRST IN EVERYTHING]THE BIG BOOK SAYS THAT LOVE IS THE ANSWER TO ALL OUR DIFFICULTIES,BY PUTTING HIM FIRST IN OUR LIVES HE DOES THE REST.


Member: Ralph N
Location: Virginia.
Date: 6/20/00
Time: 5:55:51 AM

Comments

Please excuse me if these comments appear to be ignorant. I guess I don't understand all of this stuff. Not much of a higher power kind of guy. I only know that my drinking is ruining my life and for some insane reason I can't stop. Is the drinking causing the destructive behavior, or vise verse? The desire to quit has brought me here-it's all I have left. I'm starting to think it keeps me teniously tied to the ground.


Member: Connie N
Location: Minnesota
Date: 6/20/00
Time: 8:01:49 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Connie and I'm and I'm an alcoholic. I know exactly what you're talking about Ralph---I've been working on this sobriety thing for some time, and am still pondering which came first--the chicken or the egg. My drinking, or the problems in my life. You won't really know until you've put in some time, and maybe worked the steps. In my area, we're starting a new step meeting group which I hope will help me. Just reading the steps hasn't been enough for me...I'm a very anxious person, and my anxiety often takes over in the form of panic, isolation, depression, or I simply quit eating. I used to drink to make myself feel "normal". I know---it's insane. But life and my reaction to it has been insane for as long as I can remember. Good luck, everyone out there, on another 24!


Member: ClaudiaT
Location:
Date: 6/20/00
Time: 10:38:48 AM

Comments

Hi, my name is Claudia and I'm an alcoholic. This is my first time on this site -- I've been looking for an AA-type chat or board which seems safe and secure for a long time -- I hope this is it since I'm worried about stalkers, spammers, etc. My husband works long hours and travels a lot, I'm a stay-at-home mom with a baby, so it's about impossible for me to go to meetings as often as I need/want. That means it's been about impossible to stay sober for very long for the last year or so. I know this site can't take the place of face-to-face meetings, but I hope it will help. Thanks for being here.


Member: ClaudiaT
Location:
Date: 6/20/00
Time: 10:40:26 AM

Comments

Hi, my name is Claudia and I'm an alcoholic. This is my first time on this site -- I've been looking for an AA-type chat or board which seems safe and secure for a long time -- I hope this is it since I'm worried about stalkers, spammers, etc. My husband works long hours and travels a lot, I'm a stay-at-home mom with a baby, so it's about impossible for me to go to meetings as often as I need/want. That means it's been about impossible to stay sober for very long for the last year or so. I know this site can't take the place of face-to-face meetings, but I hope it will help. Thanks for being here.


Member: ClaudiaT
Location:
Date: 6/20/00
Time: 10:40:37 AM

Comments

Hi, my name is Claudia and I'm an alcoholic. This is my first time on this site -- I've been looking for an AA-type chat or board which seems safe and secure for a long time -- I hope this is it since I'm worried about stalkers, spammers, etc. My husband works long hours and travels a lot, I'm a stay-at-home mom with a baby, so it's about impossible for me to go to meetings as often as I need/want. That means it's been about impossible to stay sober for very long for the last year or so. I know this site can't take the place of face-to-face meetings, but I hope it will help. Thanks for being here.


Member: ClaudiaT
Location:
Date: 6/20/00
Time: 10:40:45 AM

Comments

Hi, my name is Claudia and I'm an alcoholic. This is my first time on this site -- I've been looking for an AA-type chat or board which seems safe and secure for a long time -- I hope this is it since I'm worried about stalkers, spammers, etc. My husband works long hours and travels a lot, I'm a stay-at-home mom with a baby, so it's about impossible for me to go to meetings as often as I need/want. That means it's been about impossible to stay sober for very long for the last year or so. I know this site can't take the place of face-to-face meetings, but I hope it will help. Thanks for being here.


Member: ClaudiaT
Location:
Date: 6/20/00
Time: 10:43:32 AM

Comments

Hi, my name is Claudia and I'm an alcoholic. This is my first time on this site -- I've been looking for an AA-type chat or board which seems safe and secure for a long time -- I hope this is it since I'm worried about stalkers, spammers, etc. My husband works long hours and travels a lot, I'm a stay-at-home mom with a baby, so it's about impossible for me to go to meetings as often as I need/want. That means it's been about impossible to stay sober for very long for the last year or so. I know this site can't take the place of face-to-face meetings, but I hope it will help. Thanks for being here.


Member: ClaudiaT
Location:
Date: 6/20/00
Time: 10:43:44 AM

Comments

Hi, my name is Claudia and I'm an alcoholic. This is my first time on this site -- I've been looking for an AA-type chat or board which seems safe and secure for a long time -- I hope this is it since I'm worried about stalkers, spammers, etc. My husband works long hours and travels a lot, I'm a stay-at-home mom with a baby, so it's about impossible for me to go to meetings as often as I need/want. That means it's been about impossible to stay sober for very long for the last year or so. I know this site can't take the place of face-to-face meetings, but I hope it will help. Thanks for being here.


Member: ClaudiaT
Location:
Date: 6/20/00
Time: 10:43:51 AM

Comments

Hi, my name is Claudia and I'm an alcoholic. This is my first time on this site -- I've been looking for an AA-type chat or board which seems safe and secure for a long time -- I hope this is it since I'm worried about stalkers, spammers, etc. My husband works long hours and travels a lot, I'm a stay-at-home mom with a baby, so it's about impossible for me to go to meetings as often as I need/want. That means it's been about impossible to stay sober for very long for the last year or so. I know this site can't take the place of face-to-face meetings, but I hope it will help. Thanks for being here.


Member: ClaudiaT
Location:
Date: 6/20/00
Time: 10:43:57 AM

Comments

Hi, my name is Claudia and I'm an alcoholic. This is my first time on this site -- I've been looking for an AA-type chat or board which seems safe and secure for a long time -- I hope this is it since I'm worried about stalkers, spammers, etc. My husband works long hours and travels a lot, I'm a stay-at-home mom with a baby, so it's about impossible for me to go to meetings as often as I need/want. That means it's been about impossible to stay sober for very long for the last year or so. I know this site can't take the place of face-to-face meetings, but I hope it will help. Thanks for being here.


Member: Joanna
Location: NW
Date: 6/20/00
Time: 11:27:47 AM

Comments

Joanna-Alcoholic, WOW what a great topic. Just where I am at. Well, not really. It is so hard to practice new behavior until it becomes the norm, so I just do things the way I feel comfortable doing them regardless of the harmful results. Insanity is very comfortable to me. But the longer I am sober the less that is true. I had 4 years on Saturday June 10th and I feel so grateful and blessed to be alive and in my somewhat saine mind. So I have been practiceing the new behavior in hopes(and promises from my sponser)that they will become comfortable. I want all that AA has to offer and that is a life full of Love, Peace and Serenity. Keep on, Keeping on! I hope everyone see's the HOPE in their lives today and have a hell of a sober day. Joanna


Member: marcel  [mal]
Location: new hampshire
Date: 6/20/00
Time: 11:30:36 AM

Comments

Hi my name is marcel [mal] and I am an alcoholic FOR ClaudiaT what we're experiencing is CHANGE 'practice makes perfect'. Identifying, desire, asking for help is what your doing Find someone you can honestly confide your fears You will get the courage to face them. Just KEEP COMING IT WORKS WHEN YOU WORK IT. May God Bless


Member: .....
Location:
Date: 6/20/00
Time: 12:54:13 PM

Comments

To ClaudiaT: Stop clicking the submit button!!! If your comments don't appear right away, give it some time (practice some patience) but don't keep clicking the submit button because as you can see, you posted the same message 8 times! A waste of space.


Member: Sam J
Location: Southeast
Date: 6/20/00
Time: 12:56:45 PM

Comments

Alcoholic named Sam. I have often wondered what the difference is between an alcoholic and a REAL ALCOHOLIC. I damn near died before I got here on Nov 13, 1975. I have been sober since that time by the grace of God. I don't find it necessary to be the greatest alcoholic. Just knowing that I am an alcoholic has been enough. I suppose (and hope) my ego has been deflated to the point that I can accept just being an ordinary drunk. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: ClaudiaT
Location:
Date: 6/20/00
Time: 3:03:55 PM

Comments

To Member:.... Have you never made a nervous mis-keystroke or two? I'm scared to death of just about everything in my life right now -- changing, not changing, drinking, not drinking (THAT would be a trick!) and of talking to just about anyone about my life right now, even anonymously. Thanks for all your help and encouragement.


Member: Bobby C.
Location: Georgia
Date: 6/20/00
Time: 3:07:34 PM

Comments

Hi my name is Bobby I am an alcholic. This is my first time on this site and I am touched just to know that I am not alone with this problem. I know what the insanity feels like and want to stop it so please continue to post your thoughts and ideas.


Member: alkey
Location:
Date: 6/20/00
Time: 4:09:59 PM

Comments

stick to the topic people or go to the coffeepot! read directions


Member: KATHY
Location: OHIO
Date: 6/20/00
Time: 5:36:27 PM

Comments

HI-KATHY ALCOHOLIC WHAT A GREAT TOPIC .MY MIND IS MY OWN WORST ENEMY AND GOD FORBID I GO THERE ALONE. I'M IN A RELATIONSHIP AND TRUST,FEAR AND ALL MY OTHER CHARACTER DEFECTS SOMETIMES GET IN THE WAY! I GUESS I KNOW THE THINGS I DID TO OTHERS SO WHY SHOULDN'T THEY DO IT TO ME? I WASTE ALOT OF TIME AND ENERGY RUNNING AROUND IN MY HEAD. I'VE LEARNED IN THE PROGRAM TO ASK MY H.P. FOR HELP,TALK TO SOMEONE,READ THE STEPS AND PRACTICE THEM. I GUESS I'M LIKE AN ONION-I JUST KEEP PEELING AWAY THE LAYERS AND STAYING SOBER ONE DAY AT A TIME. THANKS TO ALL!


Member: Deb
Location:
Date: 6/20/00
Time: 7:15:17 PM

Comments

Hi everyone! Deb, alcoholic. I know well the insanity of drinking again and again thinking it would be ok. Praying it would bring relief from the terror and guilt and shame. It worked till it didn't and ALWAYS when it wore off the desperation to get more relief crept in. Those days are the past now,which I will not shut the door on. I must be reminded every now and then. Today I work on things like: tendencies to embellish or glamourize my talents or skills, minimizing effects my attitudes and behaviors have on others in my life, blowing off my accountability, and hiding instead of taking a stand. I have found that I must do those things that make me uncomfortable cos those are what build my courage and strength. I have found that resting on the plug in the jug and a seat at an AAroom can be very much like sitting at the bar every night. I used to be a social butterfly and was told I needed to spend time alone and very quiet. This has been the best thing for me as I have learned to listen and hear the insanity in my head this way. Sobriety is an ongoing self examination and I have enjoyed the journey. ODAT Deb


Member: justGreg
Location: north of Pierre, SD
Date: 6/20/00
Time: 8:37:21 PM

Comments

Vern, I see we are here for just a short time since our last "binge". I had 4 great years in the program and then for what must be that insanity that is being discussed here this week, I thought I could go out and do some "controlled drinking". It has been 5 years and of course things got out of control "once again" in my life. I am greatful that I knew where to return. It has been 36 hours since my last black out and I have been reminded by God through his use of the fellowship of AA that the only way I can stay sober is not to take that first drink. The only way have have found in 42 years of power drinking not to take that first drink is in the working of the steps as given us by Bill W. and Dr. Bob.

I thank God today that I am able once again to take that 1st step and admit that I am powerless over alcohol. I am glad I found this site and hope to find some on line meetings as I live in a remote area of the country, many miles from an AA chapter.

God Bless you all, for you have made my evening a bit less insane.


Member: David B
Location: KC, MO.
Date: 6/20/00
Time: 9:18:10 PM

Comments

I am a alcholic. Thanks Dave from LA about 6&7 the getting rid of my thinking that doing the same thing over and over would get me a different result. That is me. It is replacing that thinking with some positve action using the principles that are God,s direction and strength in a moment of loving one another. thanks again


Member: Amanda L
Location: Cincinnati
Date: 6/20/00
Time: 10:48:30 PM

Comments

Hi all. Amanda here. Alcholic. Admitted that for the first time in my life this eve. at a meeting. Although I know I am an alcholic, I can't stop drinking. I want to, and I need to, but I don't know how. Can anyone help me on some of the ways you stopped. I don't want to know about against your will. No one in a million years would think I have a problem, so that isn't an option. I need you who have quit on your own, and help in doing so myself. By the way. I have never felt so welcomed in my life as I did tonight at the meeting I attended. I will go back next Tuesday. And I hope the following one as well. Sadly though, through the meeting I couldn't wait to go so I could buy alcohol. I know we shouldn't give e-mail address in here, but if you have any encouragement for me.... PLEASE!!!!! lovininsanity@yahoo.com Thanks, and I'm sorry if I broke the topic. I just need help. Amanda


Member: Karen U
Location: Michigan
Date: 6/21/00
Time: 7:59:49 AM

Comments

Hi, my name is Karen. I am an alcoholic. Amanda, I think you illustrated the topic very well. The insanity of thinking we can drink and doing it over and over and expecting different results. I have heard "It isn't only the drinking, it is the "stinking thinking" For me that is very true. One of the "stinking thinking" traits I have had is thinking I can stop drinking on my own. I did stop for as much as 6 months at a time (without attending AA) and yet my thinking was not improving, my spirit was not growing, I was sliding backward even if I didn't lift an alcoholic drink.

So, I came back to AA - with a willingness to learn how to stop the insanity and an ability to be taught this time. The biggest lesson, so far - I've been back a few months - is the One Day at a Time and it is a WE program. I tend to isolate too much and have trouble bringing myself to pick up a phone or to tell another AA member that I can't handle something on my own. I don't know how to be a friend and to accept friendship, so I found my social life, alone with my bottle.

I can't change by myself. Thinking I can do so, is part of my insanity. Today, I will pray for my HP to change my heart and guide my thinking. I will also talk to at least one other alcoholic to share whatever is going on with me - just for today. I don't promise to remember to pray or talk to another alkie tomorrow. I am not sure I can handle making a committment to do that every day or even tomorrow, but I can for today.

Thanks for letting me share how my insanity and "stinking thinking" are diminishing each day - one day at a time.

Karen U.


Member: dustyb
Location:
Date: 6/21/00
Time: 8:59:34 AM

Comments

Thank you very much for having this site, I know I am not alone. DB


Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 6/21/00
Time: 9:26:14 AM

Comments

i used to go to bars over and over,i used to have a bad attitude over and over,i used to not pay my bills over and over,i used to lie over and over,i used to think i could do it all alone over and over...today i do the opposite of those things ,today i do the things i don't want to do.anything that is alcoholic behavior,i try to recognize and correct and face.for me i try to go to just enough meetings and read the big book,then i try working it into my life.being sober is work at times but i think it's worth it to say the least.....tony ,alcoholic


Member: Doug K
Location: West Michigan
Date: 6/21/00
Time: 10:52:19 AM

Comments

Hi everybody, my name is Doug, and I,m an alcoholic. I was told, early on, that if I were lucky enough to begin to heal, that I would stop living through my brain- which had to then failed me- and start living with my heart. It seemed like such a pie-in-the sky kind of thing. But today, some of the time, when I have faith in my higher power, when I can accept things as just the way they are supposed to be at this moment, when I can get honest with myself and use the tenth step; I may not know exactly what to do to do things differently(or better), but I certainly know what I shouldn't do. That is something very different from the way I lived for so many years. Thank-you Doug


Member: Jamie B.
Location: Winnipeg, Manitoba
Date: 6/21/00
Time: 11:10:58 AM

Comments

My name is Jamie and I am an alcoholic.

I had never heard the insanity definition before AA and it is a perfect description not only as it pertains to drinking but most things in life. How many times have I done the same thing over and over again in relationships and hoped for a different result? Guess what...same thing happened.

The only thing that I can think of that I do over and over again is my AA program. And with that I sure expect the same result!

"Change the things I can". Thanks.


Member: Vern
Location: Okinawa, Japan
Date: 6/21/00
Time: 11:23:44 AM

Comments

No doubt, Alcoholic. Well, today is 7 days since my last drink (which evolved into my last black-out). I found myself trying to coax my wife into saying we should have a few tasty beers. CARDS ON THE TABLE. I'm military and my first AA contact was about 15 years ago, after a DUI. I went then for a while, learned the words, earnestly cried out stories of my life, and started drinking again. Since then I've been by AA again a time or two, had a sponsor, thought each time I would finally lick it. Well, it's been a week since my last black-out (as we ALL know each black-out can end in anyway it wants, DUI, accident, death, or just a lucky embarassing hangover because, you aren't controlling anything!)

Know, after years of alcohol's seductively induced insanity, I'm going back to battle. It's insane because, alcohol has won every fight. This Cyber Group discussion is an ally that has helped significantly. Amanda L., one thing I know for sure, we (alcoholics anonymous) are here and we ARE helping you but, you and only you can stop that first drink. I want it bad and I want to stop bad, that makes this weeks topic awesome for me. In the end, as I consider in my constant swirling mind how, when, or where I'll have that next drink. I get a strong defensive feeling against alcohol, it's the one that is driving me nuts, without this disease I could be sane, and I must beat it, because each day that I don't is another that it has beaten me. Insanity is a part of your life, in large part, thanks to all those bottles. If you want it to stop, stop it... sounds kinda like "if you want it to work, work it." huh?

Thank you, each and everyone, for helping me finish this day sober.


Member: MIKE A
Location: IOWA
Date: 6/21/00
Time: 12:40:23 PM

Comments

HELLO ALL DID NOT GET UP VERY EARLY TODAY SO SOME OF YOU HAVE A HEAD START ON THE DAY, CLAUDIA T IF YOU NEED A MEETING LOAD THAT BABY UP AND GO TO A MEETING, IF THE BABY GETS FUSSEY GO OUT SIDE FOR A LITTLE WHILE IF THE MEETING IN OUR AREA DID NOT ALLOW KIDS THERE WHOULD NOT BE A MEETING SOME KIDS HAVE BEEN TO A LOT OF MEETINGS FOR THE GUY THAT WORRIED ABOUT YOUR DAD HE IS DOING WHAT HE WANTS TO UNTILL HE HITS BOTTOM OR GETS SICK AND TRIED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELF CAUSE HE WILL NEED YOU LATER IN LIFE AND I DO NOT CARE HOW MANY TIMES PEOPLE ENTER IT ON THE COMMENTS PAGE I HAD TO READ CLAUDIAS TWICE ALSO


Member: carlos/ juan
Location: la.
Date: 6/21/00
Time: 1:25:37 PM

Comments

claudia you can talk to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

carlos

and juan,da wetbak


Member: Laurie R.
Location: California
Date: 6/21/00
Time: 2:39:40 PM

Comments

Hi. My name is Laurie and I'm an alcoholic. It never ceases to amaze me at how insane my behavior was while I chose to drink. My behavior defied logic and it still scares me to realize how lost I was (and could be without AA and my Higher Power). I love this site!!!


Member: Susan E.
Location: Tx
Date: 6/21/00
Time: 3:34:25 PM

Comments

I'm Susan and I'm an alcoholic. I keep doing the same things over and over too--same mistakes. However, today I am doing something different--I'm writing in here. I woke up this a.m. with another hangover. Claudia, I have a young child, too, and that's one of the reasons why I want to kick this destructive behavior. I'm really glad that this site exists. I just want to be sober!


Member: JL
Location: The Beach, Califoornia
Date: 6/21/00
Time: 6:21:07 PM

Comments

Claudia do you keep hitting the button and expect a different result? Just kidding. I really wish I knew why I kept doing the same things over and over again and expecting a different result. On the weekends I was getting drunk all day, I would say OK I will only have just enough to feel a little buzz, then that would be it. But, alas, I just kept going. So once I opened the bottle I was done for again and again. Why did I think that drinking each time would get me a different result? Tomorrow I won't have a hangover. Today I will stop before I go into a blackout. I would somehow say to myself, yeah that was because I forgot to eat. Or if I just have a couple of cups of coffee in the afternoon then the result would be different. The best is to hide my drinking then for sure, I wouldn't wake up with a hangover, wouldn't blackout and no one would tell me the next day to try and not drink just for the day. Well today will be different, I'll have a few shots with my coffee and then I'll sober up before anyone is the wiser. I know that this time the result will be that I will stop after the first few, I'll go to bed early, and I will remember everything the next day and because I won't be hungover I won't need that hair of the dog to even my keel. That is what I kept telling myself.

I think for most of us that can relate to such a good topic, that there is only insanity, for if I do the same things and expect a new result, I must be really crazy (and/or sick). Once or twice OK, but year after year? I guess this topic for me is really about how to do something different, because the same ol' same ol' wasn't working. If same things get same results then logic holds that different things will get different results. Well duh! This logic is impossible to follow with the disease in charge of my life. Once the mind and body clear up a bit it becomes easier to change the insane behavior, problem is I am an alcoholic for life and the insanity is only one drink away. Thanks to all of you sharing here and staying cyber with me.


Member: Anonymous
Location:
Date: 6/21/00
Time: 8:04:55 PM

Comments

Find yourself going through life pushing on pull doors? They used to have those kind that went round and round, had to jump out at the right moment or it would take you back the way you came. Try spinning the thing around the other way awhile!


Member: Michelle M
Location: Tx
Date: 6/22/00
Time: 12:49:54 AM

Comments

Hi Michelle achoholic. My friend used to say if you did it out there don't do it in here. That ment just about everything needs to change. Happy birthday Joanne I had nine years on the 20th. It seems like everything changes each year and I like this, because that's what life is about. Remebering my last drink has always helped me. Asking God even when my prayers started God if their is a God to keep me sober today helped. I did not ask him to keep me from drinking I asked him to keep me sober. Kind of reminds me of when I keep telling myself I won't eat the chocolate cake in the frige. Ever try to tell an alky not to do something doesn't work very well. My sponsor told me this and it worked. A sponsor that answeres the phone in the middle of the night helped too. Meetings Meetings and more meetings. When I sobered up everything was so unreal and I hated myself for just taking up space. The steps changed that because they helped me find a God of my understanding. If you have trouble with the God concept think about how many times you tried to get that damn bottle to take care of you. I don't know about anyone else but for me it is absolutly to insane to have to live my life around a liquid! It was my higher power. Through AA I learned to let go of the negative God and get a postive one. Change is a scary thing but God is gentle and dosn't take everything away at once. I am really grateful for that. I learn new things every day and I ask God what can I do instead and helping others always get's me out of the way. Glad your here Claudia. If you don't want to talk to anyone just ask questions. All alkies like to talk about the program and them selves. Hang in there baby.

have a great day M


Member: Duey R
Location: Minnesota
Date: 6/22/00
Time: 12:55:15 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Duey and I'm an alcoholic. The insanity crept up on me today. I have been separated from my wife for over a year, and I don't know how that is going to turn out. This week, however, my in-laws are here visiting and I have tried to spend some time with them. They all want my wife to move on with her life, and not include me. If that's what He wants, then so be it, but why do they have to be so controlling of her. (like I'm not) I'm trying really hard and praying for strength and guidance. I still got that feeling of withdrawal and anger today. This time I called my sponser and worked on it. I feel pretty good and secure in the way I handled myself, but i still wonder if there will be a day when I can truely accept other people and their feelings without making it about me. I'm glad I found this group, and thankful for another day. I'm out.


Member: Bonnie C 5/30/80
Location:
Date: 6/22/00
Time: 4:26:48 AM

Comments

Hi extended family, bonnie/alcoholic here (((ROOM-HUG))) to those that are new to this site or AA a heartfelt *welcome home*, to those that share here on a reg basis, thank you from the bottom of my heart. To those in the military, thank you for defending my freedom to be here. Great topic, insanity. The insanity I felt before I got here was like being a hampster on a wheel. Frightened & going nowhere but going very fast. the insanity I felt once I got here was like I was a ball of yarn, with a hundred different loose ends, felt nuts! But one by one those loose ends started to connect as I followed instructions. First of all you told me to pour out all the booze in my home, I did, then you told me to go to meetings, get phone numbers and use them when I felt like drinking or when I just felt lonely (you said the ones that gave me their numbers needed me as much as I needed them) you said, get a sponsor with lots of time that doesn't gossip and smiles most of the time and work the steps. I did. I still work the steps and write in a journal to keep on track. You told me that I wasn't responsible for my drinking before I walked in the doors but now that I was in that I was now responsible since you were going to show me a way to stay sober (simple but not easy). that when that overwhelming urge to drink came, to Keep the plug in the jug and hug the rug. (meaning stay out of slippery places when that urge hit, like my car or even outside my door and make that phone call) if noone was home to call AA central in my area and talk to them. you said I wasn't responsible for my first insane thought but I WAS responsible for the entertaining of it. You said to try prayer even if I didn't believe anyone was listening. You said I could get off the elevator at any stop and didn't have to go to the basement and lose everything. You said that in order not to take that first drink I had to stop thinking of it as an option. You said to go to meetings and not drink in between them and I wouldn't get drunk. You said don't get too Hungry Angry Lonely or Tired (hmmm HALT) You said to get a Big Book and read it, especially 60 thru 63 and 449 thru 452 and it would help when I was feeling squirrley. You suggested after I'd been here awhile to set boundaries and stay true to my principles, that when I compromised them that I was inviting the old insanity back in, You said the only thing I was to change was EVERYTHING, that my thinking was all upsidedown. You said that the promises on 83 & 84 would come true in my life. that some day I would want to live in my own skin and wouldn't envy anyone nor want to be anyone but myself. that I would love my life. that the insanity would end. Thank God you were right or I probably would have gotten drunk and beat the crap out of you. Dear God please bless all who venture here, love and hugs, bon --- bonzoc@webtv.net


Member: Shelli
Location: CA
Date: 6/22/00
Time: 5:38:58 AM

Comments

Hi Shelli here recovering Alcholic,

Excellent topic, I still get caught in that ugly cycle of insanity, I have read a lot of excellent stuff here today, for me once I can identify the cycle that is the hardest part, then figuring out what triggers it is the next step, I think for myself and only recently have I figured this out, and I will have 14 years sober on the 26th, there is really only one way I have found to stop doing the same things over and over exspecting different results and that is to let go of 1)My expectations and 2)My attachments, this of course being to people places and things and to trust in my higher powers direction, then no matter what happens I know I will be in faith and everything will be ok, but to do this I have to stay out of fear, which isn't too hard because I really don't mind change to much I have become pretty flexable over the years and after awhile when you find your self just sick and tired of being sick and tired then something will happen. And if I don't drink I have an aweful lot of freedom on how I CHOOSE to look at something, wheather it is positive or negative, it is certainly all about my attitude. Drinking always put me on the same old roller coaster, I always new what was going to happen next, in sobriety I'm never really quit sure whats behind that next door,so it stays pretty exciting, and today I just try really hard not to compromise my character. A whole new concept for me....Thanks for the topic and for being sober today.


Member: Yvonne B
Location: Scotland
Date: 6/22/00
Time: 8:09:17 AM

Comments

Thank you all for giving me hope .Ihave not had the courage to go back to AA having sarted to drink again . Insanity is the only word to describe drinking again when I know how it is destroying my life. Ineed help so badly tostop this merry go round of repetitive behaviour Ithink some higher power led me to this site and Ihope it is the start of a new life


Member: Karen U
Location: Michigan
Date: 6/22/00
Time: 8:54:51 AM

Comments

Hi everyone here and Thank God for you all!

My name is Karen, I am an alcoholic. I want to encourage Yvonne to go back to meetings today. I know how hard it is to return after working what I thought was a good program for 6 years and going out for several years.

The smiles and hugs are still there for you when you return. Perhaps some of the faces are new, but the fact is they are there because of our disease - alcoholism. In keeping with this week's topic, I went through the insanity of staying away from A.A. and trying to stay sober on my own. As I mentioned earlier, somedays - someweeks, somemonths I didn't drink, but I know now I was NOT SOBER. My insane thinking led me back to drinking and some actions I need to put into my current 4th step.

During the time I was out of A.A. I thought many times about going back, but just thinking about it didn't do any good. I called my old sponsor on night when drunk and don't remember what she said. So, I kept up the insanity of trying not to drink, pretending I was sober, thinking I did NOT need A.A. over and over for several years. Intense emotional pain brought me back to a meeting. I remember walking in the door of my old home meeting at 8 a.m. on Saturday morning and the room was fuller than when I attended regularly. I saw my old sponsor and several old friends as well as many new faces. They smiled and hugged me and told me they were glad I was there. It was like I was gone only a week or two - the welcome I received. New members and some old members have told me they benefitted from hearing my story, they needed to hear how it was "out there."

So, Yvonne, just do it - go back! A wonderful sober life is what you have to gain and what do you have to lose????

Karen U.


Member: Jeff W.
Location: Bismarck, ND
Date: 6/22/00
Time: 9:25:12 AM

Comments

Good Morning! I'm grateful to be able to be here and that you all are here too! My name is Jeff and I'm a drug addicted alky! I'm feel very blessed to be a recovering alcoholic today. There was a period of time in sobriety that I wasn't of that mind. I thought that alcoholism was a curse. Thanks to the help of people like you, I've come to the conclusion that I've been blessed with this disease. I paid heavy dues to become a member of AA but I've recieved much more in return. Yvonne, I'm so lucky to have you remind me of where I was at when I had to decide whether to come back to AA or not. I had used Desert Storm as my righteous excuse to drink and I continued for about a year before I got sick and tired again. Alcohol had taken me back to the same place it always did but AA and the fellowship of AA has brought to a really good place in life. My only problem with that is that it didn't happen over night! What is important though, is that it happened. The promises have happened for me. I didn't have a clue as to how valuable they were but I was amazed before I was half way through! There is a reason why we are still here. AA showed me what that reason was. Our members will help you find that reason and you will find life more enjoyable sober than you could ever imagine. The trick for me was in letting go and allowing it to happen. For awhile I got into a habit of sabotoging my own progress. I wanted results yesterday. It didn't work that way for me. But it did work. I know it can work for anyone because it worked for my sorry mug! Hang in there Yvonne and check out some meetings and just do it just for today, one day at a time.


Member: Sam J
Location: Southeast
Date: 6/22/00
Time: 10:50:21 AM

Comments

Hi everyone. Alky named Sam. Doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results is a good topic. I want to apologize for posting an item that was not on the topic. It did belong in "coffee pot". Thanks for reminding me. I will try to be more careful in the future. I did the same thing for many years, expecting different results. I am not sure that they weren't different. (They were worse each time). In my time I have never seen things get any better. For years I tried every "easier softer way". When I finally accepted the AA way of life I found what I had been searching for all my life and it was also "the easier softer way". I had a hard time accepting the fact that I am an alcoholic. I had to finally get honest with myself before I could accept it. When I was drinking I always said that I was honest since I had never failed to pay a debt or had never beat anyone out of anthing. I finally realized that in EVERY area of my life I was TOTALLY dishonest. I guess what I am trying to say is that when I finally got honest with myself I no longer did the same things and expected different results. Thanks for letting me share and I will be more careful with the posts. Sam


Member: DOUG B.
Location: LOST IN  OREGON
Date: 6/22/00
Time: 11:27:29 AM

Comments

STILL LOST IN LIFE,STILL SOBER YET THINGS JUST SEEM EMPTY,LIFE IN GENERAL SEEMS SORT OF HOPELESS,IM SORRY I GOT OFF THE TOPIC,BUT I FEEL I HAD TO SAY SOMETHING TO SOMEONE. FEELING MISSERABLY LOST, DOUG B.


Member: Big John M.
Location: Modesto, Ca
Date: 6/22/00
Time: 2:10:54 PM

Comments

Hi everyone! I'm John, a real alcoholic. I have not been to this site in quite a while. (reaping the benefits of sobriety such as responsibilities to my family; both immediate and extended) It's good to make contact as I'm home with my vehicle in the shop. (grateful I have a vehicle and can pay for repairs)Great topic and great sharing that I don't need to add to other than the fact that, over the years, I have spent time in sobriety just as insane as when I was drinking, and, applying the spiritual principles of the 12 Steps to my "life" problems worked just as well as it did with my "drinking" problem. I was happy to see Don's reply to the young person who's father was binge drinking about the fellowship of Alanon. I am a greatful, recovering member of that fellowship also. I am such a compulsive person that I could qualify for about any 12 Step group that walked but my Big Book and the message therein keep me on track. Thanks for sharing and letting me make contact. "Connection" is a real need in my life today. God bless you all. Good Day! It's all we have!


Member: michael l
Location: y-town, ohio
Date: 6/22/00
Time: 3:37:59 PM

Comments

hi...michael l.....alcoholic....great site, ever been here before. for years i was entwined in the vicous circle of expecting the outcome of my actionsto be different. the key for me was total surrender and putting my will aside. if it is gods will that is being done then the results are sure to be positive. i also like to ask myself, is what im doing done with love, purity, is it honest, and is it unselfish. the 4 absolutes are a great guide to living. god bless and many happy sober days ahead.


Member: Al  C.
Location: Florida
Date: 6/22/00
Time: 4:12:10 PM

Comments

I'm an alcoholic, my name's Al. Hi to all| Ya gotta love the pain. Funny when you think about it because as much as I hate pain and misery how else would I know something's wrong? At least now I have a clue there's a problem, and the problem's in my thinking. Defiance and Self-righteousness wouldn't let me even dream there was a problem with MY thinking. Hell, it's not me, it's him or her or them or it. THEY need to change, I'm fine. Thank God for the second step which gives me the faith that God can do for me what I could not do for myself-change my thinking-and allow me just enough humility to think maybe I'm not always right. My way may not be the best way. When I keep ME small, things seem to go alot smoother. I'm not bumping into everybody and everything as much, and I'm quicker to see where I'm out of step and change Me. Thanks to all my brothers and sisters at this site for your help, love, and fellowship. Special ((hug)) to Ms. Bonnie for your good words, thankyou very much for sharing..........Al


Member: jeff z
Location: california
Date: 6/22/00
Time: 4:43:29 PM

Comments

Hey bober people !!! GOD is good!!! I have never had it so good!!!!! glad to find an AA meeting on the computer im stowked Came to AA 15 years ago--ANgry and full of fear! Came to believe 11 years ago now full of GOD and friends For you new people the promises are after step nine HAng in for the ride of your life!!!!


Member: angela b
Location: virginia
Date: 6/22/00
Time: 7:34:32 PM

Comments

hi everyone, angela b. alcoholic. see insanity of repetition daily. working hospital with the same patients every day, refered to as frequent flyers by some. 5 years ago this was me. funny i still have that merry go round mentality. seeing this insanity daily i remember the pain and dont pick up. serenity prayer helps when my obsessive thinking kicks in. for the newcomer, may i suggest staying in the meeting and going out after the meeting with other alcoholics, that helped me get out of head. never thought i could bowl sober, still cant bowl but am sober today. love yall.


Member: charlie
Location: maine
Date: 6/22/00
Time: 9:52:45 PM

Comments

Hi Family,I'm Charlie a very grateful alcholic. It has been very tough, as i have wanted to pick up a drink the past few weeks. And thanks to my higher power who i pray to all the time, especiallt the serenty prayer it has helped me so far. I need a meeting, but can't get what i need from the meetings near by. But tuning into this discussion room every night as help me to hear what i need to hear. Thank you all. If anyone knows of meetings in the Agusta Maine area please email kwduke@megalink.net


Member: Holly R.
Location: Montana
Date: 6/22/00
Time: 10:52:59 PM

Comments

Hello all, this is my first time posting, have been lurking for a few months now. I can relate to the topic of insanity. I have never attended a meeting but I have been reading the blue book and trying to work this on my own for now. My problem is that I am trying like hell to stop drinking, 13 days now and my husband of 13 years goes out at least 2 times a week and gets fall down drunk.He has been to treatment twice. We have 3 kids together and the oldest is 12 and gets really upset when I try to stop the insanity by telling their father he will have to move out if he continues to drink because I want to live a better life. Then I'm suddenly the bad guy. right now i'm trying not to do the same thing over again and act like nothing is wrong and i'm not mad as hell at my husband for going out again.It seems like thats the only way i can cope with this is by acting like i don't care. it's so hard to stay sober myself and when i see that he could care less... well if anyone has any advice?? I have so much more to say but I don't want to ramble. God bless you all and thank you!


Member: Donna
Location:
Date: 6/23/00
Time: 1:49:52 AM

Comments

Revovering alkie here. Just wanted to share that keeping it simple works for me. I've been sober for 8 1/2 yrs. and when I start doing the same things over and over, expecting different results---going back to basics always helps. Don't drink, don't think and go to meetings. Steps 1, 2, and 3---I can't, He can, I think I'll let Him. Talking with my sponsor. She always points me in the right direction. Thanks everyone for being here. Thank you for letting me share. I was told this is a simple program for complicated people. I always loved that one!


Member: Steve T.
Location: California
Date: 6/23/00
Time: 2:26:34 AM

Comments

I just wanted to say that out of all of this nonsense being posted here, I really appreciated what DOUG had to say. If it was for real, keep coming back dude. It gets way better. I dont know how long you been sober, but if its been for any length of time and you still feel this way, it may be time to get into action. Thats what I had to do. It'll work, I swear. Adios, thanks for being here.


Member: Steve L
Location: N Indiana
Date: 6/23/00
Time: 6:16:32 AM

Comments

Thanks to Donna for reminding me to "Keep It Simple". Am most serene when remember this. Sorry for double dipping but that one hit home most and I just read through the whole batch. Spent time with my kids and parents but think I complicated events too much today. Just moved back "home" so this family stuff is interesting. Humbling like AA. Simplicity helps me alot also at 6 yrs. I'll try to remember to only click once <g>. Welcome Claudia.


Member: angie b /p.
Location: CHICOTA ,TX
Date: 6/23/00
Time: 6:43:10 AM

Comments

THIS IS A WONDERFUL TOPIC. DOING THE SAME THINGS OVER AND OVER AND EXPECTING DIFFERENT RESULTS- BOY CAN I RELATE TO JUST GREG,IN SD. BONNIE C., SHELLI IN CA. AND ESPICALLY KAREN U. YOU ALL TOLD MY STORY AND THE INSANITY ISSUE IS AS REAL AS THE BOTTLE. DIVORCE YES ITS HAPPENING. RUINED RELATIONSIPS (MANY) ETC.........I WENT BACK OUT AFTER ALMOST 5 YRS CONTINUAL SOBERITY. AND ILL GIVE YOU THREE GUESSES AND THE FIRST 2 DONT COUNT AS TO WHAT HAPPENED. I REMIND MYSELF OF THE JAY WALKER IN THE BIG BOOK. THANK GOD AND THE FELLOWSHIP OF AA THAT WHEN I FINALLY STEPPED BACK THREW THE DOORS OF MY HOME GROUP AFTER ALOT OF AA BASHING TO MYSELF AND OTHERS WHO WERE BEING SICK WITH ME,ITS LIKE I NEVER LEFT. ITS ALL ABOUT CHANGE PUTTING MY PANTS ON DIFFERENT, DRIVING TO WORK A DIFFERENT ROUTE, LEARNING TO LOVE MYSELF AGAIN AND SETTING HEALTHY BOUNDRIES. AND THOSE SOMETIMES INCLUDE REMOVEING YOUR LOVED ONES,IN MY CASE MY HUSBAND. I MET HIM IN AA BUT IN ORDER TO STAY WITH THIS RELATIONSHIP I JOINED HIM. [NOT HIS FAULT] AFTER 6 YEARS BACK OUT 5 TIMES IN JAIL, UNBELIEVEABLE GUILT, SHAME, AND FEAR OF LOSS,I FINALLY GET IT. BUT BACK THEN I REFUSED TO LISTEN TO MY SPONSER OR ANYONE WHO CARED I HAD TO HAVE THIS PERSON TO BE OK CUZ I LOOOOOOOOVED HIM . INSANITY? THANK GOD I CAN LAUGH AT ME AND MY SILLY STINK]]]]ING]]] THINKING. THANK GOD I MADE IT BACK AND DIDNT KILL MYSELF OR ANYONE ELSE. THERE IS A PLAN FOR ALL OF US AND IF I JUST SHUT UP PUT THAT COTTEN IN MY MOUTH INSTEAD OF MY EARS AND DONT DRINK EVERYTHING ELSE WILL BE REVILED TO ME JUST LIKE THAT 4 AND SOMETHING YEARS 6 YEARS AGO. ''I'' KNEW BETTER I THOUGHT. THEY ALWAYS TOLD ME IN A KIND AND LOVING WAY WHAT THE HELL DO YOU KNOW OF HEALTHY PUNT PYLES PUNT [PRIVATE JOKE] THANK YOU ALL WHO HAS SHARED ON THIS PAGE. IF NOTHING ELSE IT GETS US TO REREAD WHAT WE WRITE AND THEREFORE 'PONDER' sometimes we even learn from it. how about that duh!


Member: Denise ls
Location: New York
Date: 6/23/00
Time: 2:39:54 PM

Comments

Good DAY EVERYONE!!!

Well I now have almost 60 days sober. I went to a meeting last week and it felt good! I hope to make one this week too. I know we are supposed to make alot more but unfortunatly it is hard for me to get out. I am trying soo hard NOT TO DO THE SAME THING EVERY DAY!! My family is thinking that I am losing it because I make plans and then at the last minute I change them to do something else!! HAY ITS WORKING!

Sometimes a calculated crazy is better that an ALCOHOLIC ONE!!

I am having a good day today and that is what is the most important to me! I have two months with 4 kids home for the summer...and I decided that I will have as much fun and take every situation with a grain of SALT(OUCH)!!!! Everyone must find their own road to stop the madness on a daily basis..Calling your sponser..making meetings... cleaning.. cutting the grass.anything is better than the alcohol.

Keep Your HIGHER POWER close to you no matter what and you cannot go wrong!! HAVE FAITH in you HP and yourselves, I beleive in all of you. Together we help each other through the madness!


Member: Kristin L. (10 yrs.)
Location: Cent. OH
Date: 6/23/00
Time: 5:49:33 PM

Comments

The definition of insanity here is, to me, an example of denial. Before I knew what the problem was. After I was taught what my problem was in 1984 in treatment I didn't have denial. I had refusal!!! I refused to do something different because I still wanted to run the show. I stayed out there after that until 1990 when I finally surrendered.

It is the same for me in recovery. If I'm acting on behavior that I have come to see for what it is and then don't stop...REFUSAL not denial.

Instant gratification equals longterm suffering.

Hope you choose powerlessness soon but I know for me that I never give up anything when I'm only half insane. I have to be all the way insane first. I'm just grateful that insane today and insane even 5 years ago are two totally different things.

I'm alcoholic, my name is Kristin, and I'm all out of excuses. Thanks


Member: JIM.L
Location: Portsmouth, England
Date: 6/23/00
Time: 6:09:59 PM

Comments

The solution to my life came to me one evening when I was ironing...............Alice Munroe.

We all receive flashes of illumination, messages like shafts of lightning from one part of our brain to another. 'This is the answer! This is the meaning of life!' Mathematicians tell stories of equations solved in a dream; we cling to the notion that an apple beaned Isaac Newton. We all experience moments that seem like a brilliant knitting together of our fortunes. At such a moment, we are happy. We wish this could last forever. But the moment, like the illuminating flash, fades in intensity and is gone. The next moment holds something new. What we may not remember is that these revelations and these moments of joy, are prepared for, day by day. The slow building up of ordinary acts and thoughts prepares us for the flash of blinding clarity. The solution to our lives isn't a meteor; it's a mosaic, made up of many ordinary acts and choices, plans and reflections. And oh, how sweet the flashes, when they come!

Because I am the source of the questions, I really do know all the answers.

This helps me on a a daily basis, each day I work on my mosaic, by small acts I am becoming whole...................Keep it Simple!


Member: Ken C
Location: Winnipeg, (Friendly Manitoba) Canada - eh!
Date: 6/23/00
Time: 7:44:28 PM

Comments

Hi all you wonderful people!

An example of where doing the same thing over and over again - but for a change getting DIFFERENT results - is happening as I write.

As many of you know, we have been reading the repeated words of LOST IN OREGON by Doug B, for some time now, but I have not seen anyone reply to him. In post after post, he simply says that he is still sober but feeling empty and that life seems so hopeless to him. No unkindness intended buy he sounds like a broken record, (repetition), and because he gives no other comments people can respond to, it seems he is being ignored. Well, you finally got to me Doug, and although it sounds like I am gossiping about you, I am really not. What I am doing is asking that others wake up to your call. However, I must also ask you to wake up as well and be more specific if you can.

Are you in a deep depression Doug? What do you think you could do that you have not been doing, or stop doing, that you have been doing so as to get different results? In the final analysis change (or acceptance) has to come from within yourself. Talk to us man!! We can listen and respond, but we can't respond to nothing. Complaining alone is not something we can or wish to respond to. To change things begins with one little change at a time - so for now, make the one change requested of you - tell us what you feel is at the root of your emptiness and feelings of life being so hopeless - then we can offer support and suggestions.

To everyone on this site - when you finish your post - if you can remember to do so - say "Hi Doug B - FOUND IN OREGON - hope you are felling better today"

Love to you all - Ken


Member: joe o
Location: newbruswick canada
Date: 6/23/00
Time: 8:53:43 PM

Comments

hi I am joe o. alcolholic. when i first came to a.a. iwas so messed up my sponsor took me off the steps, and made me learn, and live by the slogans for a full year. this way I learnt how to live sober, than leanrt how to stay sober. I have just found this site. and think it is great. have a happy 24.joe o.


Member: Denise ls
Location: New York
Date: 6/23/00
Time: 10:22:05 PM

Comments

Hi Doug B. We did find you in Oregon!! No one but Doug B. knows what is truely going on for him but Ken is right we are here to support and let doug B. stay sober!!!! If Doug would like to write I will respond.(my e-mail is joeg.1@gateway.net)I see that there are so many people that have a hard time with explaining how they feel or what they are going through at any given moment that does not mean they should be dismissed it is the loss of words sometimes that leads to the loss of faith.

STILL SOBER ANOTHER NIGHT. THANK GOD!!

kEEP IT UP doug b.


Member: angela b
Location: virginia
Date: 6/24/00
Time: 1:32:12 AM

Comments

hey yall, angela b. alcoholic. doug b read jim l, from portsmouth,england.love


Member: angela b
Location: virginia
Date: 6/24/00
Time: 1:35:50 AM

Comments

hey yall, angela b. alcoholic. doug b read jim l, from portsmouth,england.love


Member: Michael B.
Location: Tucson
Date: 6/24/00
Time: 2:46:08 AM

Comments

Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome newcomers! Thanks everyone for sharing!

Great topic, Joan. Usually in AA, the insanity of doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results concerns our drinking. But by staying sober and trying to practice AA principles in all my affairs, I have learned that this type of mentality dominates other aspects of my life, always causing me harm.

Thank God AA has not only brought "the obvious" to my attention (i.e., the insanity behind an alcoholic continuing to drink but expecting different results) but has also revealed to me that this insanity applies to other "less obvious" aspects of my life, which, in turn, provides me with an opportunity to change.


Member: JOE O>
Location: newbruswick canada
Date: 6/24/00
Time: 7:26:56 AM

Comments

It,s Joe O. again. Just wanted to say hello to doug. I to had to try it again after seven years of soberiaty, what caused my slip doesn,t matter here. IT took me over six years of more misery to drive back into my group, it was like I had never left the same people welcomed me with hugs and hand shakes. They had not even taken my name from the roster, said they knew I would be back. DONT LET FEAR KEEP YOU AWAY FROM THE GOOD LIFE JOE O>


Member: Jim.L
Location: Portsmouth.England
Date: 6/24/00
Time: 9:18:44 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Jim an alcoholic. I put another piece into my mosaic today. I went to an AA meeting and reaffirmed my belief that by staying sober and following the direction I've been given I will have serenity in my recovery, and I tell you what it works! It's a simple programme, if you complicate things it don't work so well. So get to meetings, ask for help, share your ES &H; don't isolate, and remember If you don't take that first drink and you can't get drunk. To Doug.B.Oregon...'Hang in there Buddy, things really do get better if you work it, so work it, you're worth it!


Member: carol h
Location: ohio
Date: 6/24/00
Time: 2:17:21 PM

Comments

I need all ESH I can beg, borrow, or steal today. I'm deeply into the insanity of this disease, shaking and sick from another "one last time...". Insanity. Stupidity. Please God just get me through today.


Member: Ken C
Location: Winnipeg, (Friendly Manitoba) Canada - eh!
Date: 6/24/00
Time: 3:57:12 PM

Comments

Hi all!

Just a quickie.

Thanks to those who have added to my comments to Doug B (Found in Oregon). Get back to us Doug, but it should be in the Coffee Pot section as we are bending the topic discussion on this page.

Carol H from Ohio - If at all possible, phone someone in A.A. right now! Going through these first days can be hell. We know that. We also know it is made much easier by not being alone all the time. My heart goes out to you - and I will be praying for you.

Love to all - Ken


Member: Jeff
Location: Michigan
Date: 6/25/00
Time: 7:44:11 AM

Comments

Hi, my name is Jeff and I am an alcoholic, I am very grateful to be sober on this foggy morning. My repeating things over and over takes the form of things like procrastination, smoking, lazziness, and working too much. Just as some have said, these character defects are nothing compared to the babling idiot drunk that I used to become after a few or many drinks.

Steps six and seven, I believe, are where God (HP for me) does the work. I want to be a completely healthy normal man instantly. While I am making progress I am not there yet. I need you people so much to remind me that while my primary purpose is to stay sober and try to help others there are things about me that need to change. All I need to do is my part. You and AA and my Higher Power make it happen.

I did stop drinking until I was scared, lonely, and sick enough. When I asked for help it was there. I have confidence (faith) that things are fundamentally good and that as long as I keep coming back they will continue to get better.

Every time I go to a meeting or talk to another alcoholic or in this case click a button I get a chance to see things just a little bit differently. What a gift. It is just what I needed. Thank You.


Member: Perry H
Location: Camden Maine USA
Date: 6/25/00
Time: 10:59:32 AM

Comments

Perry H , alcoholic from the Poconos, PA. on vacation in Maine... Usually I will return to my character defects if I think that I can get some instant gratification out of them. The heck with the consequences!

Only God as I don't ubderstand him can help me at the moment that I find that I am about to imbibe in some more insane behavior.

At that moment, I quietly as GOD for the help to STOP.

Whats really scary is that it works!

Would someone from Stroudsburg, Penna please share?


Member: Perry H
Location: Camden Maine USA
Date: 6/25/00
Time: 11:00:00 AM

Comments

Perry H , alcoholic from the Poconos, PA. on vacation in Maine... Usually I will return to my character defects if I think that I can get some instant gratification out of them. The heck with the consequences!

Only God as I don't ubderstand him can help me at the moment that I find that I am about to imbibe in some more insane behavior.

At that moment, I quietly as GOD for the help to STOP.

Whats really scary is that it works!

Would someone from Stroudsburg, Penna please share?


Member: Catherine B
Location: BOSTON MA
Date: 6/25/00
Time: 12:02:52 PM

Comments

Doug B, think about something you had always wanted to do before drinking got in the way and plan on doing it,like going back to school,a hobby, traveling, getting active in your home group, volunteering etc. ((((DOUG))))) Carol h get hold of a copy of " LIVING SOBER" and you too Doug B.Thinking about NOT drnking will drive you to drink. Think about other things ((((CAROL H)))) LOVE U BOTH ,CATHY


Member: Jim.L
Location: Portsmouth,England
Date: 6/25/00
Time: 1:16:09 PM

Comments

Hi I'm Jim an alcoholic and have a lot of serenity today thanks to the fellowship and having access to Staying Cyber. Jeff.Michigan. I am piecing my life together with small acts, everyday I build on me as a whole person, I give to my HP what I can because I've been given so much back and have a lot of gratitude for that. That's the gift I'm thankful for, and you're right with every small act their is a difference and by staying focused it's a positive one. To Doug.B.It Works if you Work it.Hang in there. Keep it Simple.


Member: brent h
Location: houlton, me.
Date: 6/25/00
Time: 3:49:49 PM

Comments

Hi I'm brent ,an alcoholic. I have to start all over again.I was 60 days sober and had a relapse. I have today in and tomorrow is a new day.


Member: Becky P.
Location: Sarasota, FL.
Date: 6/25/00
Time: 4:23:59 PM

Comments

Hello all- Becky P. alkie,

I am thankful that I have stopped the insane rollercoaster. Of my many mistakes, I dated a string of alcoholics for a few years and kept wondering why I couldn't have a successful relationship. My roommate called it my "calvacade of losers!!" =) You know you're in trouble when the two of you can't do anything unless alcohol is involved! I never really considered the alcohol factor until I became fully sober. It has been an emotional nightmare and I'm so grateful I can see more clearly now.

((brent)) I have 61 days. Take it easy!! You'll be fine. Keep working!

Have a great day and a happy new week all!


Member: John B
Location: Washington
Date: 6/25/00
Time: 5:32:56 PM

Comments

Hi,

Right now the over and over again is still drinking. After two years of sobriety in AA, I went back to drinking about ten years ago. This is the closest I've come to an AA meeting in years, but I'm trying to find the courage to attend one today. I can't put my finger on what it is about attending a meeting that I'm afraid of.


Member: Lindy W
Location: Harrow, England
Date: 6/25/00
Time: 8:11:37 PM

Comments

I'm Lindy, an alcoholic. I was in a hole and could not stop digging. I could not see how deep the hole was getting.

Then I got scared I was going to die. AA showed me another way. I went to meetings instead of drinking - learned to listen - and listened to learn.

My big test came after 7 days - wanted to drink - had a few cans in the cupboard. Phoned up my 12 stepper. She suggested I empty the cans down the sink. Never had thrown booze away before - but that night I did it. Then talked some more and when I put the phone down I went to bed sober.

Also learned to keep a video in my head of my last drunk - the one that got me crawling round on my hands and knees. I remember the last time and how miserable, lonely and useless I felt.

I go back to my old ways often and suffer for it. What breaks me out of it is accepting the problem. Then I got to get humble enough to talk to another human being about what is going on - that usually breaks me through to the solution - and some serenity again.

Keep coming back everyone - we owe ourselves a better life. And please, nobody needs to apologise on this site - for anything!


Member: Laurie L.
Location: California
Date: 6/25/00
Time: 10:34:56 PM

Comments

I'm Laurie, and I'm an alcoholic. Great topic! That is the definition of insanity and I qualify! Lately, I've had visitations from the awful obsession to drink and use. Sticking to the topic, though, whenever I'm hurt I want to run to the bottle. I've run to that bottle with the same results for years! IT DEOSN'T WORK!!!! Still, my alcoholic mind sais: just try it - maybe it will be different this time. Since quitting drinking and using 125 days ago my anger seems out of control. I'm working the steps, going to meetings, reading, talking to my sponsor (not often enough, I suppose.), and praying but the littlest thing can send my spinning. It takes hours to get over it. I used to drink to quickly fix my emotions and now it feels like I'm raw. I want to find new ways to deal with my anger. Maybe it just takes time. I went on my first sober vacation this month. I found meetings in the area and read and prayed daily. I stayed sober and managed to actually enjoy myself. I guess this thing works, afterall.


Member: deb
Location: NW
Date: 6/26/00
Time: 5:14:15 AM

Comments

Last week I was at a meeting when someone in very real distress emotionally & physically came to us for help. We were all fairly new to AA and didn't know what to say or do. What is the proper response to someone who is crying out for help?


Member: Jim.L
Location: Portsmouth,England
Date: 6/26/00
Time: 7:11:29 AM

Comments

Hi I'm Jim an alcoholic, ..to John.B.Washington..if you keep doing the same things and expecting a change it won't ever happen. If you want your life back,make a change in your life and go to that meeting and the changes will start. Our Addicted Self our Ego stops us from asking for help and we isolate, so help others to help you. We all need help with this illness,we can't do this alone. I tried it Jim's way and it got me into a clinic. I'm trying it the AA way and it works, now I can give something back...............Keep it Simple and keep it in the day!


Member: Charlie
Location: Maine
Date: 6/26/00
Time: 10:16:53 AM

Comments

My INSANITY I am keeping it the best I can, and what helps most is the serenty prayer. It works in all aspects of live, but mostly my drinking. And John B get yourself to a meeting and share as it is better to get it all in the open and reach out for the help we need. This is my meeting twice a day and it more than helps my insanity. Thank you all for your ESH I love you all. By the way I am Charlie and a very grateful Alcholic of 3 yrs.


Member: DerrickD
Location: Kennesaw, GA
Date: 6/26/00
Time: 2:20:54 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Derrick and I'm an alcoholic. I had 5 years of sobriety and life started to fall apart. Out of fear I drank. Shame and guilt has kept me drinking and druging for the past 10 years. I keep living the insanity week after week and of course I keep getting the same result. I'm now trying many different things such as AA online. I don't know what the result will be, I just have to try something because I can't keep living like this. I'd rather die than to keep living this life.


Member: Ken C
Location: Winnipeg, (Friendly Manitoba) Canada - eh!
Date: 6/26/00
Time: 7:22:23 PM

Comments

Noticed that there are a number of people reporting relapses and concerned about going to a face to face meeting. I had about 6 relapses over an 18 year period, so I know how you feel. For me, my concern was a mixture of a number of factors. One was shame. Another was the thought that I would likely have to talk to someone and "promise" to stop drinking and "promise" to come back, when I was never sure I could keep such promises. A final concern was that others would think I was stupid - surely after several years dry I should have had Step One!

Well, my friends let me tell you, it doesn't work that way. What I, and even many in A.A. failed to think about, was that it was my illness of alcoholism (when wet or dry) that had been in control - not me. When you really think about that, believe it or not, you will feel better. It was the tremendous (and often unconcious) Dependency I had upon alcohol that was at the root of my illness. I had given myself over to booze to do with me as it would. Until I acknowledged that, and all the ramifications of that acknowledgement, I could move from the mental state of just saying I was powerless over alcohol, to the emotional state of accepting that as a fact. It was the Dependence, that moved me to the Craving stage. It was those two aspects that made it impossible to manage my Behaviour. It was the unmanageable Behaviour, that was moved me along the route to a destination I could not avoid. Where is it taking you? To skid row, during the next few weeks? To jail? Where is your destiny? Can it be avoided considering the powerful twin engines of Depenedency and Craving? These are the questions every alkie has to face - sooner or later. For me, it was almost too late. Fortunately, with help, I did finally look at them. Only then did I see that drinking could no longer be an option for me. After that, going back to meetings was not only not a problem, it was a dire necessity - regardless of what anyone might think of me.

Get your thinking turned around my friends, and the body will follow. I wish you all the best but remember, misery preceeds peace but peace and yes, even joy, will follow, once the battle is over as a result of an honourable surrender to your hopeless situation. If you don't see your situation as being hopeless, then if you are like me, you will return to drinking. It's automatic and built in due to the cause and effect relationship of Dependence, and Craving - Therefore - Unmanageable Behavioiurs and Destinations. How far do we want to go?

O.K. I'll shut up now, but let's not underestimate this first step - it's a BIG ONE.

Love and wellness to all - Ken


Member: Jim B.
Location: Roi Namur, RMI
Date: 6/26/00
Time: 7:40:48 PM

Comments

Hi All, JimB. Here Happy to know I'm alcoholic and grateful to be sober today! :-) Great topic;thanks for all who've shared. When I got sober I had so many problems I didn't know how or where to begin. Now with a few 24 hours behind me many of these problems have been taken care of and for me that represents progress. Still I do not expect life to be a bowl of cherries just becaise I am sober today. I still come up against many old problems that pester me even still in sobriety. The program teaches us to be tolerant and develop patience. So that I know as long as I continue to stay sober one day at a time I still have a chance to resolve these issues. If I use them as an excuse to pick up then all bets are off and I will return to the old insanity. So no matter what I don't drink and it just keeps getting better. Thanks for 12 stepping me! Jim


Member: Tylene
Location: Ohio
Date: 6/26/00
Time: 8:39:40 PM

Comments

Hi everybody doing the same thing over and getting the same results. I did that for years intill I took a good look at myself. I do this when I afraid of something. I call it the fear of the unknow. I don't know if I can handle that but the other I can handle somewhat. Because I have been there and done that. So I started to change when I started to work the steps and go to meetings and listening and talking to my sponsor. For all you new people whether first timers or us slippers. If we apply 1/2 as much to the program as we did drinking then we should make it. I heard this from an oldtimer who had quite a few 24 hrs in. Everybody hang in there it gets better. It works if you live it. Give it a chance and the promises will come true.


Member: Aby K
Location: London
Date: 6/27/00
Time: 4:46:28 AM

Comments

Hi, Aby I'm an alcoholic.I just wanted to thank everyone for there sharing. Insanity has been stopping me from sharing in my regular meetings recently..i'm scared that people will think i share too much?? As a result of this insanity i haven't been getting to many meetings. My sponsor told me to cut my sharing time down.. since she said this i have become a really shy sharer and i only feel confident in sharing online. My boyfriend and i split yesterday.. no big deal except it happened on the phone at lunch time at work.. i was craving like mad..instead of getting on my knees or getting to a meeting i stuffed myself silly with comfort food & fags. The insanity of it all is that if i took time out when it happened to give thanks for the pain and for the obvious sign from my god that he was working on a brighter future for me, then i wouldn't of needed to binge on crap. Today i am grateful for the chance to recognise this and do the right thing instead of turning to the broken crutch of alcohol. Thanks Sarah m for your comments they have really helped. God bless us all for having the sanity to come here when we are most vunrable and share the insanity with others Amen Abyxxxx


Member: CHARLIE
Location: LIVERMORE FALLS MAINE
Date: 6/27/00
Time: 10:19:13 AM

Comments

HI FAMILY, cHARLIE AND I AM AN ALCHOLIC, I READ OVER AND OVER ALL THE ESH THAT ALL HAVE SHARED, AND IT HELPS ME THROUGH MY DAY. IT IS SO HARD WHEN YOU CAN'T FIND MEETINGS, AND THIS TOPIC IS ONE THAT I HAVE BEEN FACING SINCE I LEFT KEY WEST ON APRIL1, AND ARRIVED HERE IN MAINE, AS LIVING WITH MY PARTNERS FAMILY WHO ARE CONTROL FREAKS AND VERY DISFUNCTIONAL. I AM SO GLAD THAT YOU ARE ALL HERE, AND I HAVE NOT SHARED THIS MUCH IN QUITE AWHILE,BUT REALLY TRY TO KEEP MY SANITY THROUGH ALL I AM GOING THROUGH, AND NOT PICK UP A DRINK, AS IF I DID I KNOW FOR SURE MY LIFE WOULD BE OVER, AND THANK YOU ALL FOR ANOTHER DAY SOBER, I COULD NOT DO THIS WITHOUT YOU ALL. I LOVE YOU MY FAMILY


Member: MaryJ
Location: Seattle
Date: 6/27/00
Time: 8:02:06 PM

Comments

Hi,

I'm Mary and an alcoholic. Thanks for the topic and everyone who has shared. Yes, insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

I've been doing some financial planning and a fact that I came upon really illustrates the insanity of drinking.

If I drink a $10 bottle of wine every day, I would have spent $3650 per YEAR on liquor. One of my hobbies is traveling, so with that money I have been on several trips around the USA.

Every once in a while a glimpse of the insanity we have all been through illuminates the reasons why we have changed.


Member: AA rep.
Location:
Date: 6/27/00
Time: 8:55:58 PM

Comments

Now hear this, now hear this, 'aanashville.org. it's the place to share your experience strength and hope, so "sign the wall" at that location...


Member: John K
Location: Ont.Canada
Date: 6/27/00
Time: 9:57:33 PM

Comments

Hang in there Carol H from Ohio we're thinking of you done here..


Member: .....
Location:
Date: 6/28/00
Time: 12:02:08 AM

Comments

Hey Cyber Techs! What's the Deal! It's a new week and we need a new topic....Get on ball you guys.


Member: Laurie L.
Location: California
Date: 6/28/00
Time: 2:01:23 AM

Comments

AGAIN - THE DEFINITION OF INSANITY IS DOING THE SAME THING EXPECTING DIFFERENT RESULTS!!!! John B. and Derrick B. I know where you're at as I, too, have been there. I was on the 10 yr. plan - got to the rooms of AA at age 19 but figured if I wasn't old enough to drink legally I couldn't possibly be an alkie. I went out for 10 yrs. to prove I could drink normally. I returned at age 29 to learn to drink responsibly and go thru withdrawals of the various substances I used to enhance my drinking experience. Again, I was "cured" for another 10 yrs. I came in, again, at age 39 and, one night, in desperation, I begged for the directions to this thing. A woman told me to read pgs. 60-63 and 83-88. There, I found some direction and comfort. I continue to read these pages and more every morning. I got a sponsor and started working the steps ( which I never noticed before). If you're ready the answers are here for you. Reach out and grab them and hold on for dear life! It can't be worse than what you're going thru right now.


Member: Linda
Location: WI
Date: 6/28/00
Time: 7:16:56 AM

Comments

Hello, I'm Linda and an alcoholic. Insanity.. boy, I know I"m insane. the bottle has talked to me quite loudly for the last several days, and I can see where our insanity can come into play and 'listen' to that bottle. I can't afford to listen to it, because just like all of you, I will be right back to black outs, and hangovers, embarassing situations, divorce, puffy faced, financial hardships..etc. if I listen to that bottle. Somebody mentioned smoking and that is a big addiction too, and has insanity working in that situation too. They want to blame other people for their smoking when they try to quit, and say that you're the reason for them smoking... the nicotene talks to them just like the bottle talks to me. (i just had this situation happen to me, and that's why the bottle has talked to me for the last couple of days) Sane people don't have bottles talk to them. <grin> have a good day.