Member: Heather
Location: Utah
Date: 6/8/2003
Time: 7:05:38 AM

Comments

Can't see a topic yet, so how about "living life on life's terms"? Also, please see Coffee Pot re someone looking for someone to accompany him to his 1st meeting today in Michigan. More info there.


Member: Trace
Location:
Date: 6/8/2003
Time: 7:29:41 AM

Comments

HEATHER GIVE IT A GOD DAM REST NOBODT WANTS TO TALK TO YOU TAKE THE HINT THE ROOM IS EMPTY


Member: Jay T
Location: Midwest
Date: 6/8/2003
Time: 8:15:20 AM

Comments

OK, well, Jay alcoholic/addict, living life often means suffering assholes graciously. But mostly, I am told, I am the problem and that is where I have to start to make changes when I don't want the cycle to continue. I can only change my behaviors or my reactions to life. Shit happens and I have to learn to deal with it in a healthy manner or I have this amazing ability to make problems grow disproportionately. The paradox here is that these problems may get me to use, however, the more problems we face sober the less likely those problems will become too overwhelming to deal with. That is why we continually hear, (don't drink, don't think, go to meetings and get a sponsor). If we can do these things as newcomers we have a chance, if not then... Good week all.


Member: AnilG
Location: Mt Vernon,IL
Date: 6/8/2003
Time: 8:39:29 AM

Comments

Living life on life's terms. I have learn to live a life of rightiousness wherever and whenver I can, first it was hard then after going through my steps over and over I have learnt a new way of life the right way for me.I have understood the meaning of what is sprituality? how to practice spirituality?.I have found peace happiness and satisfaction.thanks to aa and alnon.


Member: Sito
Location: Puerto Rico
Date: 6/8/2003
Time: 9:19:56 AM

Comments

This program is teaching me that I have to accept my past, my today, amd my future as it is, so I can have serenity. This is easier said than done, but in my case I don't have any other healthy options. The bottom line is that I have to concentrate on a daily basis to accept things, people, places just as they are , or I have to change my attitude or my focus concerning my opinions and emotions. Thank you for letting me share. Today is all that matters, and i wish 24 hours of sobriety to all.


Member: PK
Location: UK
Date: 6/8/2003
Time: 9:21:37 AM

Comments

Paul K, Alcoholic. Living on lifeís terms. That to me is living in the real world, not the one you see in the movies or read about in books (fiction) also the books written by people on how it should be, by doing this or that. There can be good ideas in these books but not every one is written by you so almost everything is generalised according to me. Nothing is how it should be, itís how I look at it and change the things I can, the right things or make them acceptable to me. If I canít live with something I can either change it, or accept it, in the way ĎI canít do anything about that, so Iíll have to say OKí it may not be right or wrong just something I donít like. I have a choice today, something I didnít have when I was drinking, I couldnít control myself let along life as it came up. Very often stuff appeared I really didnít like, most of the time it was because I said ĎOKí as long as it didnít bugger up my drinking for ex amount of time. Usually till I awoke to find the bottle empty or not remembering where Iíd hidden it for later. Another part of ĎAA Ďis to bring about a change of thinking, from what was to what is. A stepping stone or two to living a purposeful life, a new direction to go, a better way of living, to appreciate people instead of looking at people and life as a bad deal for me. Being ĎPositiveí which is a far, far better approach than pissing everyone of with moans and the woes of me, me, me and everythingís gone, going wrong and Ö.. Smiling and laughing with people is again a far better way to live than, being resentful, jealous, and full of anger. Getting of your arse also helps as no one will do it for you. ĎIf things donít change youíll stay as you areí as a country lad used to be always saying to me. Thatís my tuppence worth. Have a good day, You deserve it. PK UK


Member: L-RAY
Location: SCOTLAND
Date: 6/8/2003
Time: 9:54:17 AM

Comments

When i got sober at first living wasnt very easy for me as the last 17 years i was living in Walter Mitty land! but after getting on the program and bringing it into my life i have found it a bit easier to live on lifes terms so the last 16+ years have been doing what was responsible and trying to do what was right for me and my families welfare! but most important helping other alkies who come to the fellowship, Regards L-RAY


Member: S Salter
Location: SOCAL
Date: 6/8/2003
Time: 10:19:41 AM

Comments

Ah reality.............. I really never liked it much until I was broken enough by this disease!! Either ..Nothing is a miracle or....everything is a miracle..... I choose the latter!!


Member: S Salter
Location: SOCAL
Date: 6/8/2003
Time: 10:19:49 AM

Comments

Ah reality.............. I really never liked it much until I was broken enough by this disease!! Either ..Nothing is a miracle or....everything is a miracle..... I choose the latter!!


Member: Marv L.
Location: Laurel,Ms
Date: 6/8/2003
Time: 12:12:06 PM

Comments

Hi,I"m Marv L.-recovering alcoholic,sober today by the unmerited favor of a loving higher power,and the AA fellowship,by using the twelve steps to living life on lifes terms.. Thnx for the topic HEather,and thnx Jay T for giving me another "practice" drill to face reality: S A G ...!!!Yep, therell always be some to deal with.When I came to the program at age 48,in "81,I wanted what I saw in sober AA people--the ability to live sober,and with a lot of help, Im turning 70 today,and havent found it necessary yet to go back to the bottle for relief! Talk about MIRACLES,S Salter, hey, just look around,ya can see "em everywhere!!!WOrds cant express the gratitude I feel for what Ive gotten through our fellowship--I came hoping I could stop drinking,and wow,I found a way to live life!! Have a good day,everybody!!! And,thanks for helping me live life on lifes terms.....


Member: Bruce N
Location: Houston Tx.
Date: 6/8/2003
Time: 1:46:51 PM

Comments

20 years sober today..Thank God


Member: Diane
Location: Oklahoma
Date: 6/8/2003
Time: 3:06:40 PM

Comments

Hi I'm Diane 75 days sober today, in the real world well I see some folks come on here and seem to like to make up many names and trash many people but that is not the real world cause if you was to face that person and say some of the things I read in these message boards you would get hit or killed lol The real World don't put up with no comments like I read on line. But I guess we have more guts when only a type writer and board faces us. So I say we try and voice our thoughts like we are face to face to that person instead of behind a protected computer. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest, God bless


Member: Tom G.
Location: Michigan
Date: 6/8/2003
Time: 4:01:14 PM

Comments

Hi. Tom, alcoholic. Sober by the grace of a spiritual experience and the 12 steps of recovery. I just came from a face to face meeting where a newcomer shared how life has been kicking him in the ass big time. It took me back to some of my most wasted days and nights. Recovery is a miracle when we remember being in the grip of our disease, and this young man brought me back to mine. Like they say, after 13 years of continuous sobriety, my problems look pretty tame in comparison. The Program works if you work it. God bless.


Member: Bikerbabe
Location: Hellishelping
Date: 6/8/2003
Time: 6:04:12 PM

Comments

((Bruce)) happy trails!! thats awesome.. ((Diane: sorry to hear your dissatisfaction with the postings)) gee wiz honey" you really think the real world would kill someone for sayin those things.. that get said here?.. or is that just "how you'de handle it"... hmmm interesting.. you said it not me...good luck and happy 75 to ya... maybe the world will change just for you Diane.. maybe not today.. but never give up hope if you want to stay in everlasting dissapointment, that is. My self i have no complaints... as far as im concerned its as it should be or it would not be that way. simple... "peace love and granola bars" all the time is not real anyhow. bye now...


Member: Rick F
Location: PA
Date: 6/8/2003
Time: 7:34:32 PM

Comments

Living life on life's terms is something I am just beginning to face after leaving a rehab 4 days ago. Some minor depression has set in and my previous reaction was to drink, but I have not let it get me this time. I have been going to meetings, reading the Big Book and now have help with this message board. I am going back to outpatient tomorrow and I always feel safe and happy there. For now, I am placing my life in my higher power's hands and know that he will be there to guide me to make the right decisions and to get on living my life as a sober mature adult.


Member: Carol H.
Location: KCMO
Date: 6/8/2003
Time: 7:46:31 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Carol, and I'm a grateful alcoholic. Haven't been able to attend face to face meetings because of illness, so am particularly grateful for this meeting. Living life on life's terms for me today means living with cancer and going through chemotherapy. Trying to change myself in this situation to be less anxious, more trusting in the protection and care of my higher power. I can't change the circumstances, i.e. my illness, but the program has taught me that I CAN change my attitude. Treatment will make it likely that I'll have to take some drugs that I would not normally even consider, but this is "the big one," so I'll do what's necessary to get through it and trust God to keep me sober. I choose to take a positive attitude or gratitude for the healing that's taking place through the treatments. This program has made it possible to again live one day at a time and to celebrate life on life's terms. Congratulations, Bruce!


Member: David H
Location: Nashville, TN
Date: 6/8/2003
Time: 8:02:58 PM

Comments

David, alcoholic, Life on Life's terms is just living in the he real world and not taking a drink. When i was drinking and drugging I was living on Fantasy Island most of the time. All these problems that kept hitting me over the head were others peoples fault. Not my drinking and drugging noooo. I had to come to grips with the real world and myself with the help of this progam and the steps. Page 449 in the Big book, the page about acceptance should be manditory reading. Thanks to the real alcoholics for letting me share.


Member: k.close
Location: slc
Date: 6/8/2003
Time: 8:13:56 PM

Comments

I'm so glad to have found this place. Been sober for over a year now. It only took losing every thing I loved to finally get here. Its a struggle every day but I'm hanging in there.


Member: k.close
Location: slc
Date: 6/8/2003
Time: 8:14:03 PM

Comments

I'm so glad to have found this place. Been sober for over a year now. It only took losing every thing I loved to finally get here. Its a struggle every day but I'm hanging in there.


Member: Diane
Location: Oklahoma
Date: 6/8/2003
Time: 11:26:56 PM

Comments

ok Bikerbabe maybe I would not kill them but there are people who might so I try to talk like I'm face to face and I am very happy in my new sober life and not made but sometimes when we type things out you can not hear my voice tone so really it's hard to let you know that I was just feeling sorry for how someone told Heather off. That was very hurtful and rude. I don't know Heather but no one deserves being told they are not welcome. It is just not something I would do or maybe if I was upset enough I might do it who knows lol anyway all is well.


Member: kimberley
Location: seattle
Date: 6/9/2003
Time: 12:26:59 AM

Comments

hi kimberley recovering alcholic, there are terms? what the hell is that where is that in the big book{haha{ its a day at time one moment at atime and one personality at atime. it does not get any simpler that that, i think before i speak today to not hurt people, . i practice the principles of love and tolerance and life is just the way it should be, it only says to practice the principles , in all our affairs that means life!! thanks heather for your topic, and for the miracle of your sobriety, .


Member: Martin I
Location: Stuttgart
Date: 6/9/2003
Time: 12:35:58 AM

Comments

To accept people, places and things, does mean a lot of progress to me, as my sponsor says: progress not perfection


Member: David
Location: Quetta Pakistan
Date: 6/9/2003
Time: 5:12:55 AM

Comments

Im David and Im a, Cocain Snorting - Glue Sniffing - Pill Popping - Marijuana Tooking - Drug Taking - Whiskey Drinking - Clean and sober - Oh did I say Obese. What the heck is going on here? Why do some people think that they have to introduce them selfs by mentioning a whole raft of addictions when just simple and plain ole alcoholic will do. Could it be that - EGO - stops them from saying the word alcoholic."living life on lifes terms" too me is calling a spade a spade, and a shovel a shovel.


Member: Lisa S
Location: Stuttgart
Date: 6/9/2003
Time: 8:03:03 AM

Comments

Living life on life's terms means for me dealing with life's challenges to the best of my ability using the tools that I have been given in this program. It's realizing that not everything is going to go my way and that sometimes along with the good , things not so good happen. Luckily, through this program, I realize that I don't have to wallow, too long, in self pity or get too crazy over it. If I can take some action to remedy or help the situation, I do. If not, I try to accept the situation. There are somethings that happen in life that are just part of being human such as death, which I have had to deal with sober. You learn to grieve and get through it the best you can, and without drinking. Nice to see you here Martin.


Member: Dana B.
Location:
Date: 6/9/2003
Time: 10:16:20 AM

Comments

I'm glad I stumbled on this discussion. I've taken alot out of everyone's comments. I'm just starting to try to make changes and to my surprise, all my friends and especially my boyfriend are extreme opstacles. People are actually hasseling me and becoming angry with me if I just want to go home, read, and get some rest so I can reach my goals. These online discussions have been very strengthing to me in handling my life on it's terms as of today. Thanks. Just startin to learn. Dana


Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: 6/9/2003
Time: 10:50:34 AM

Comments

Craig here, another Real alcoholic (page 21). As others have said here, when I drank and used. I lived in a fantasy world. Then after the pain was too much, I sought AA. I rode high on the pink cloud, but one day the sun did set and I awoke to another f*ng day. I expected life to give me a break because I was an alcoholic in recovery. I shouldn't have to deal with all those normal things you earthlings had to face. My character defects are always ready to rise anew. It is only in daily reflection and offering myself to HP, that the beast is tamed. As a result, most of the time today, life is an adventure not something to be feared and run away from.


Member: frank s
Location: troy ny
Date: 6/9/2003
Time: 2:53:33 PM

Comments

Frank, alcoholic, having a real Bad day and want to thatk jay for his comments..I am the problem...not the answer...so i think i'll go for a ride on my harley before it rains........thanks keep coming back........


Member: Pam D dos 12-13-84
Location: Santa Ana, CA
Date: 6/9/2003
Time: 3:36:33 PM

Comments

Living life on life's terms can sometimes confuse the heck out of me. When things are calm, I just keep doing what I'm doing -- pray for knowledge of God's will for me and the power to carry it out, and then keep putting one foot in front of the other, doing the same things. But lately, I have been struggling to understand what HP's will for me is. Have been doing the footwork on some big decisions and it seems that I am stuck with no win situations no matter which path I take. I am struggling to know when it's time to take action, and when it's time to sit still. There are unseen consequences operating and I do not know whether I am messing myself up by not acting now. Trying to learn how to know the difference between barriers I am supposed to climb over, and barriers that are telling me not to go any further. I don't trust that my "gut" will send me in the right direction - because I've made terrible choices based on that "gut" in the past. In spite of me, there sometimes comes a moment of clarity - like last week. I misplaced my checkbook and searched all week for it. My credit union told me I'd have to close the account and open a new one to be safe. I was faced with a huge hassle. I have a lot of electronic payments that go to that account, so I decided to look again for the checkbook over the weekend. I searched all through my car, my apartment, and my jackets. No luck. So I went to a meeting that is 40 minutes from my house. When I got to the coffee shop after the meeting, the manager asked me "Is this yours?" and handed me my checkbook! It must have fallen out of my purse while I was digging for my keys... so today, I don't have to get a new account, and go through that hassle. I prayed to know what I was supposed to learn from that. I recognize that all my worry has clouded my ability to stay in the now. With surgery hanging over my head, it's hard to practice a day at a time...


Member: Pam D
Location:
Date: 6/9/2003
Time: 3:38:24 PM

Comments

Oh, to be clear - I go to that same restaurant every Friday night, so the manager had kept my checkbook all week...


Member: Jay T
Location: Midwest
Date: 6/9/2003
Time: 6:03:25 PM

Comments

Jay again, still an alcoholic. This is for Carol. I have just begun rereading "The Sermon on the Mount" by Emmet Fox and, after reading what you are facing in your life, I thought you might find it to be a helpful resource. Good luck with your health.


Member: Bill P.
Location:
Date: 6/9/2003
Time: 6:16:04 PM

Comments

To Pam D. Maybe folks wouldn't get bored with your comments if you didn't use the word "I" twenty or so times.


Member: CARLC
Location: NM
Date: 6/9/2003
Time: 6:33:48 PM

Comments

Life on lifes terms . dont we have enough psychobabble already?? The word in life in dictionary says the time one is alive. The word term in the dictionary means parts of an agreement, so how in Gods green earth can you equate that with sobriety? I asked a phycolgist what that meant and she tried to explain it to me for a whole hour and confused me more than I was before. I was always trying to make deals or agreements with God. if you get me out of this one is will do this for you the magic word being IF. Today I walk this earth a free man and I try to live life not according to a bunch of agreements but according to the will of the Most High , because my will got me to the gates of insanity or almost death. The steps of Alcoholics Anonymous will teach you how to live life. All this fruity nonsense might get you drunk or dead.


Member: Leeann
Location: RI
Date: 6/9/2003
Time: 6:45:46 PM

Comments

Leeann....alcohlic/addict living life on life's terms is rough for me, but i'm doing it. I'm fifteen so life in high school can be trying. If there are any young people out there please contact me


Member: Bern C
Location: Bothell, WA.
Date: 6/9/2003
Time: 6:57:45 PM

Comments

I can remember thinking that life was not fair, that it was something that was happening to me, being done to me. I was a victim. I came into AA and began hearing this saying; life on life's terms. What did that mean? IN the beginning of my sobriety I just had to accept that this was the way things were. The party was over, the fun was over. Life had proven, once again, that it was not fair to me. I was sober about six months when I began to feel a change. I was walking down the street to the place I lived and I noticed that I felt happy. I had two using roommates, no car, no girlfriend, and was working as a bartender and somehow I was happy. This was the beginning of my understanding of life on life's terms. I could be happy Without drugs. Until that moment I had no idea this was possible. I have discovered that, for me, life is not something to be endured. It is to be enjoyed. I can no longer claim victim status. I have become an active participant in my life rather than a victim of it, of my decisions. This is the road I choose. I can see now that that dark life I lived while using was without choice. Drugs and alcohol had removed choice from me. Life happens. Bad things happen, good things happen, sad things happen. I get to feel as a result of those things that happen in my life. I get to choose how I react to them. These choices set up my wellbeing. I try to take responsibility for my actions. I try to give credit to my Higher Power, though I often mistakenly take the credit for stuff myself. Life is ever changing. Life's terms dictate that I too need to change. I need to be flexible. I need to stay sober in order to lessen the pain of change.


Member: VEE
Location: Midwest
Date: 6/9/2003
Time: 7:13:22 PM

Comments

Dana B. I hear you! I wanted to take it easy in early recovery and feel the need to "retreat" occasionally. Get hassled all the time. Just put my foot down and say "Not this time, thanks." The book "living sober" is good back-up. Life on life's terms is the way it is. Certainly it isn't life on MY terms. When I was in charge I screwed things up royally and nearly killed myself and some innocents as well. HAD to relinquish the reins to a higher power, the one who saved my life. I try to listen to her will for me and comprehend the next right thing to do. If it's sit and relax, read, meditate, I do that. I try not to let other's chaos get into my recovery. My husband has a lot of need for chaos so it's a big job some days. Grateful I can go with the flow most times.


Member: Bill P.
Location:
Date: 6/9/2003
Time: 8:22:46 PM

Comments

Newcomer here notices that you folks communicate as if the world revolves around you. Am I missing something? Why do folks find it offensive if every sentence begins with I, Me, or My?


Member: Jen
Location: NJ
Date: 6/9/2003
Time: 8:59:10 PM

Comments

Living life on life's terms is accepting that shit happens. Drinking isn't going to stop shit from happening. In fact, in my experience, drinking seems to only make more shit happen. In my sobriety I'm starting to figure that out. Starting to learn that maybe a little less shit would happen if I didn't drink.


Member: lois l
Location: fl
Date: 6/9/2003
Time: 9:15:32 PM

Comments

lois, alcoholic here. in my humble opinion, i think that people tending toward critical comments should be taking their own inventory instead of others. life on life's terms means accepting the fact that you can't change people, places and things. this leaves just being able to change yourself and how you react. today, i choose not to harbor a resentment against people who cannot accept others for who they are and what they think and or feel. remember the topic is life on life's terms....in your (hopefully humble) opinion... lois


Member: moe b
Location: MA
Date: 6/9/2003
Time: 10:57:12 PM

Comments

Shame on you, Bill P.


Member: moe b
Location: MA
Date: 6/9/2003
Time: 10:57:13 PM

Comments

Shame on you, Bill P.


Member: Dan S
Location: Michigan
Date: 6/9/2003
Time: 10:58:59 PM

Comments

My name is Dan, an alcoholic. My sponsor tells me there are no terms, there's only life. Thats been my experience. I have made my own terms and paid the price. My life, Ihave learned has nothing to do with what I think. It has everything to do with how I behave.Its called LIFE. Being an alcoholic is'nt a term of my life,its an allergy of my body,and mind. Ilove you all.


Member: Allison H.
Location: IL
Date: 6/9/2003
Time: 11:24:48 PM

Comments

Alcoholic/Addict, I think you just need to take one day at a time. If anyone knows of any good alcoholic related books. Please Advise!


Member: CARLC
Location: NM
Date: 6/9/2003
Time: 11:40:10 PM

Comments

Bill p. I guess you are not an alcoholic because if you were you would know that selfishness and self centeredness is the root of our problems. That is why we need this higher power. A wise man in AA once told me yjou better go to school on people because if you do what they do you will get what they get.


Member: Bikerchick
Location: WA
Date: 6/10/2003
Time: 1:48:44 AM

Comments

I am thankful for my life and that I now realize that God wants me to have a peaceful and happy life and that he wants me to learn from my mistakes and I will teach & help others what I have learned.


Member: Melanie
Location: Akron, Ohio, USA
Date: 6/10/2003
Time: 2:05:34 AM

Comments

Hello, friends. I'm Melanie, an alcoholic. My dictionary says "terms" are "conditions." That makes me think of the weather. The weather conditions are something that I definitely can't change. When drinking, I might have cursed the snow, rain, heat, etc. for interfering with my life. I would have exerted my selfish will in all manner absurd ways to combat the inevitable course of nature. I would have taken to the bottle, all the while moaning about life's injustices and shaking my fist at nature for this personal attack! Wallowing in self-pity, I would spread misery everywhere I went. In sobriety, I have learned to accept changing weather as a "condition" that I cannot control, but one that I can prepare for. I can then use my will rightly to help myself and others. I realize that unpleasant occurances happen to us all and do not constitute a personal attack. I can avoid the "pity pot" and spread acceptance and peace to those that care to have it. I can ask advice from others who have been through the rough weather before me and share experiences with those who come with me or after me. This weather analogy demonstrates how A.A. has taught me to live "Life on life's terms." BILL P. We use "I" statements to share our experiences in applying the concepts of the A.A. program to our lives. Welcome, and please tell us about yourself! Peace All!


Member: Heather
Location: UT
Date: 6/10/2003
Time: 3:02:12 AM

Comments

Thanks to all for their posts. They are helping.


Member: Kathleen
Location: Florida
Date: 6/10/2003
Time: 3:48:05 AM

Comments

HI everyone, Kathleen here alcoholic. Thanks for the topic Heather. Life on lifes terms means to me acceptance which we talk about quite a bit in AA. Situations in life happen. I can either accept whatever it is thats going on, and try to get into the solutions, or I can fight against whatever is going on and be miserable. If I sit in self pity though and stay in the problem I'll probably end up drunk so I try to stay in acceptance and deal with whatever pops up in a positive manner. Just because we get sober doesn't mean life will always be full of joy and happiness. Sad things happen, bad things happen and good things happen. It's my reaction to them that determines whether I'm at peace or not... Peace Kathleen


Member: anitra
Location: midwest
Date: 6/10/2003
Time: 5:51:33 AM

Comments

hello well for me its going day by day and living in the present not the past. and just accept it. im not promised a future. but i believe in my god and just live i dont think there is a "lifes terms" persa. love and happiness to all.


Member: Bill P.
Location:
Date: 6/10/2003
Time: 7:59:50 AM

Comments

Shame on me! How refreshing to see a posting that's not full of self pity. One of life's terms is to allow people to share their pain without thinking of those people as sniveling wimps or spineless complainers. That's hard for me to remember.


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: 6/10/2003
Time: 8:23:13 AM

Comments

Hi, Kelly an alcoholic, Living life on lifes terms is pretty straight forward. I have enjoyed reading all your shares. I find it a lot easier to give thanks for what I have and not sit on a pity pot now that I'm sober. I was a really bad drunk and living life was on boozes terms not mine at the end. Alcohol the great eraser would take away the pain for a while because I was passed out. Of course the pain was still waiting for me at the door when I came to. I never dealt with crap, had no higher power, felt nothing. I'll take living in the here and now anyday over that black hole of an existance. Today is not perfect but its mine because I'm here to live it and I'm grateful for that. God, Grant me the ((Serenity)) to accept the things I can not change, change the things I can, and the ((Wisdom)) to know the difference. Peace. Kelly


Member: Jackie
Location:
Date: 6/10/2003
Time: 10:25:49 AM

Comments

Bern, THANK YOU! I am a little over 5 months sober, and have been "inside my head" to much the past couple of weeks. I really appreciate what you said, I felt a weight come off of my shoulders :) Have a great day everyone!


Member: Ian
Location: Ohio
Date: 6/10/2003
Time: 2:10:50 PM

Comments

Hello to all, It is always great to check in with this meeting. My partner and I are out in the country tending to ailing parents and lots of family tensions. I couldn't imagine it without AA. Between the fellowship (relief) and the steps (recovery) there is serenity. Lately, I have been trying real hard to seperate the facts from my feelings. In the past, when I was drinking,I was quick to marry the two and to say "Well, how I'm feeling is fact." That was just not the case. Now, I get squirly and I line up my emotions on paper and then a column of facts and what a difference there is between the two. But when I was drinking I would mix the whole thing together and then wasn't I just the biggest victim in the world. So thanks for letting me share and for sharing. Your words bring me strength.


Member: angie m
Location: costa mesa ca
Date: 6/10/2003
Time: 3:21:26 PM

Comments

angie alcoholic/addict living life on lifes terms.... wow ... thats something i know now that i never new how to do... my perception was always so out of whack that my reaction to to things wasn't the way i know now it should of been... and for all my life i thought it was evryone around me perception that wasn't right. all my life i have been chasing anything that would get me outta my head outta the thoughts i'd have the feelings i was feelings, i was always trying to find a way to be in the moment, lieing,sex,alcohol,drugs...w/each of those things i'd get a moment,but i spent a life time chasing those empty moments ... and now aa has given a program that teaches me how to live in the moment and not depend on a mind altering chemical... and only because i am learning to accept life on lifes terms and live life on lifes terms and not on angies because i'd been doing that for so long and all along i did it based on my screwed of perception of MY life..... and that ran my life right into lonely painful mixed up place


Member: Kim D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: 6/10/2003
Time: 3:37:18 PM

Comments

Kim here, alcoholic. I can't add much to the above, except that "living life on life's terms" means, for me, living in the TRUTH. What is - is. Self Will can sure get me into trouble if I try to manipulate things to suit my needs, which I did most of my life while drinking. Don't have to do that today (as much... :-) ). It's all a process.


Member: Linda F.
Location: NYC
Date: 6/10/2003
Time: 5:06:03 PM

Comments

Lots of drama-oh well- it is good to hear all the comments because i cannot do this alone- and I love the topic life on life's terms because I am reminded whenever I am disturbed it is because i am disturbable - the cause lies within me- it is because I cannot accept a person,place or thing as being exactly the way it is suppose to be at this moment- and unless I find acceptance I have resistance and lower my serenity or forfeit it- I constanly fight life- I want it my way but life is a great teacher and I am the student so every day I need to pray to keep it simple and for the knowledge of God's will and the POWER to carry it out- I also pray to stay centered in the midst of chaos to wear the world as a loose garment- sometimes people just irritate me but it is usually my spiritual condition that needs adjusting- nothing anyone does is because of me. But I need to live in this world- I wish I could live on a mountain somewhere but I have to deal with life on life's terms and live my life in service where God places me.


Member: Cy H.
Location: Tx.
Date: 6/10/2003
Time: 11:56:46 PM

Comments

Hi everyone, Cy-alcoholic, great topic! Life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent what I do about it, thanks to this wonderful program and a God of my understanding I no longer have to pollvalt mouse turds.I use to take the smallest things and just ruin my day with making them bigger than they were. I have learned in this program( and it has taken lots of time) to let alot of things go,to live and let live.Also it says in the BB that my serenity is directly perportonal to my expectations. I try to do the best I can each day, sometimes thats not very good because my contact with God is not good but I believe if I don't drink i'll get back on track.My sponser told me alot when theres something wrong theres something wrong with me so,even if there is things going on in my life that I think needs to happen now I always have to talk to another person in depth about whats going on with me,believe me I have rushed things and been sorry, the answer comes at the right time,if I pratice these principals to the best of my ability.Thank God life is not on my terms any more, unless I choose it to be. Thanks for keeping me sober one more day it's all any of us have so use it wisely!


Member: tracy
Location: san diego
Date: 6/11/2003
Time: 1:21:33 AM

Comments

hi I am tracy, alcoholic. its nice to read your hsaring, its like a real meeting. I have not been to a meeting in a long time, and getting pretty squirley.. "Life on life's terms" that is what always throws me. Somewhere I got the idea that if I worked the program hard enough(good enough) life would just keep on gettin better. well life still happens and worst of all, I will never be rid of this alcoholic personality, my stinkin' thinkin creeps up on me, I can go to bed content and wake up pissed off, for no reason, its my disease.. and my selfishness and self-centeredness makes me want life to go smoothly, "like other peoples life's" comparison is deadly and so is not being in GRATITUDE. thanks for listening,


Member: Phil S.
Location: Michigan
Date: 6/11/2003
Time: 4:00:37 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Phil. I'm an alcoholic. Tracy from San Diego, helped me realize that I'm not alone with my "stinkin thinkin". Thanks to all of you! I am one selfish little game player at times. It seems to be all about me involuntarily. If I don't take the time to do things that I fight doing ( like reading your posts), going to meetings, reading the Big Book, telling my sponsors on myself; life can suck Big Time. I'm off to a better start with this day, thanks to you all!


Member: jenny
Location: Arizona
Date: 6/11/2003
Time: 4:39:11 AM

Comments

jennifer..alcoholic... just wanted to congradulate the birthday people...we are all miracles..aren't we? today is a rough day for me. just found out about a very serious health problem...this is life...i'll ask God to help me up off the floor, beg Him for some acceptance and before I move on with life, i'll look at the wonderful people, experiences, & things i've been blessed with...i'll stop whining and just be glad to be sober & alive for today!!!! great meeting by the way!!! thanks!!! :)


Member: AnneM
Location: Pocono Mts. PA
Date: 6/11/2003
Time: 10:46:49 AM

Comments

Hi I'm Still anne & still sober Living life on life's terms great subject. I used to try to please my family (mother will still not believe that I am an alcholic) then I realized that what they thout of me was none of my business (thanks to AA) today I can be me and don't have to justify it to anyone. Also just a comment to all those who object to other peoples posts when you point a finger at somenoe else three are pointing back at you taking other people's inventory is conterproductive. as the Bible says dont try to take the speck out of someone elses eye before you remove the plank from your own


Member: CW
Location: Real World
Date: 6/11/2003
Time: 12:31:38 PM

Comments

Hey BikerBabe, just read your post how you don't believe people would kill over some of the things said here if done face to face. Guess part of living life for you does not include watching the news. See yesterday where a middle school kid stabbed & beat another over a video game?


Member: Robert S.
Location:
Date: 6/11/2003
Time: 1:53:11 PM

Comments

Living life on life's terms for me is giving up the insane idea that I have had that I can control people, places and things. At this moment in time, everything IS just as it is supposed to be. I have to accept that. The only thing I have any control over is my acceptance and my reactions to the way things are. In most ways this is a great relief. I don't have to feel responsible for other people, places and things. I need only be responsible for myself. The more I attend meetings, read my AA literature, talk to my sponsor, pray and meditate, the more I seem able to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.


Member: angie M
Location: costa mesa california
Date: 6/11/2003
Time: 2:13:38 PM

Comments

angie alcoholic ... Good morning everyone... ya know i was saying to someone yesterday ... that its funny .. how i always have to find things out for myself ... no matter what i have heard people try to tell me ... like i hear people talk about how miserable they can get when they quit doing part of their routine (not going to meetings or not sharing in meetings.. not telling on their selves to sponsor,no morning meditaton etc etc) and yet at 5 months of recovery i have to start trying life out for myself ... just like in the chapter more about alcoholism ... switching from meeting to no meeting, resigning from contact w/sponsor.to-calling sponsor ritually ,giving up prayer.... etc etc etc ... finding out for myself if what everyone said was true... not intenionally... but its just crazy..like i was testing out contolled sobriety.... under my terms... until i got into enough pain... that i literally came crawlling back to my old routine ... and i am that type of alcoholic .... some are sicker then others and i happen to the sicker of the two.... i can't successfully even begin to live life on lifes terms if i am not working my program to the best of my ability... i need all the stuff i have put into it .. at least right now i do .. and i found out the hard way as always... when i do these few (several in my case) simple things i am so much more peaceful inside....comfortable in my own skin... and then my heads alot quieter and i can accept life as it happens ... and my reactions to life are alot more acceptable(not perfect ) but alot more sane.....living in the now ... w/acceptance that this is exactly how things should be .... dos nov 16-2003 207 days w/out a drink or a drug today.... ocmeowme@yahoo.com


Member: angie m
Location: costa mesa california
Date: 6/11/2003
Time: 2:31:23 PM

Comments

ooppps dos ....11-16-2002


Member: Roseann H
Location: Northeast
Date: 6/11/2003
Time: 3:46:07 PM

Comments

Roseann, Alcoholic, 6days sober after two years of drinking after 10 years of sobriety,after 3yrs of drinking after 11yrs of sobriety. See a pattern here. I take sobriety for granted and I start thinking I am not like everyone else I can control it this time. I hope that this is my last journey out of sobriety. Drinking is not living life on life's term. It is living it through an alcoholic haze or rose controlled glasses. I am glad to be back and living on the roller coaster of life once again. Thank You AA for being there for a drunk like me.


Member: Mary S
Location: seattle
Date: 6/11/2003
Time: 4:33:20 PM

Comments

how do I get help? I drink too much.


Member: Kim D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: 6/11/2003
Time: 4:43:59 PM

Comments

((Mary)) Call information or look up Alcoholics Anonymous in the white/yellow pages. Central Service will direct you to a meeting in the Seattle area tonight, and may even have someone call you personally from the program. It's the best thing you'll do for yourself and AA is here to help. God Bless.


Member: Frank s
Location: new york
Date: 6/11/2003
Time: 4:58:06 PM

Comments

i am glad i,m sober, haven't touched a drink since 1993 was it easy? hell no, many times wanted to relaspe but never did,, people died in my life including my sponser, i will never forget what he shared with me.. awful things had happened to me.. but i never drank...do i need to get back to meetings? hellyeas and i will that toowill take one day at a time"


Member: rose m
Location:
Date: 6/11/2003
Time: 7:05:48 PM

Comments

Heather, must be drunk


Member: Kat V.
Location: Mo.
Date: 6/11/2003
Time: 7:51:49 PM

Comments

Kat here, alcoholic. Life on life's terms. That's a good one but it always makes me think, as opposed to what? Life on death's terms?LOL Anyway, it's simple to say but not always simple to do. I had to finally come to realize that I cannot "control" other people, places, or situations, and what a releif since I usually screwed my own life up, just think of the havoc I could wreak if I could control all those other things. Thank you god I now realize that I need only be responsible ((and accountable)) for myself. I can control how I act and re-act to all outside influences and that's it. Life is not always fair but who the hell ever said it was? Life is life. Take it or leave it. I chose to take it and by doing so I give myself the oppertunity each day to try and make my world a little brighter place by doing the next right thing and taking the oppertunities to touch other peoples lives in a positive way whenever I possibly can. Getting outside of myself was a good way for me in the begining of my sobriety to help me take "life on life's terms". These are just some suggestions, do with them what you will... Volunteer, any hospital, library, nursing home or community center would welcome the help. Learn something new, swimming, writing, cooking, whatever. Work on other areas of yourself that need improvement, yes we all have them. And ... We all have today! god bless and compassion to all. oh and one last thing. I don't "compare" my life to that of others anymore. Even when other peoples lives look rosey on the outside that's not always the case. You can just never tell so I think I'll be content with the many good things I have in my own life rather than wishing for someone elses.


Member: DQ
Location:
Date: 6/11/2003
Time: 8:23:06 PM

Comments

Being sober for me is about being alive !! Living an honest life within oneself is the only thing we can do to obtain pure joy and hapiness with life.


Member: Robert B
Location: Chicago
Date: 6/11/2003
Time: 8:46:51 PM

Comments

Hi everyone life on lifes terms.An old timer of whom i hang or grab onto w/ever possible told me once.Smooth sailing never made a good sailor.So adujst those steps and reach for the stars.Oh just a quicky from the grapevine.The devil asks this drunk ill give you the keys to the kingdom of heaven for your soul.The drunk says Whats the catch God bless all Thank you again


Member: Christine T
Location: Elkton
Date: 6/11/2003
Time: 9:01:41 PM

Comments

since being sober i practice this on a daily basics i try to deal with life on a 24 hour day sometimes minute by minute. i try to handle things as they come along. if i deal with them as o go i find i can handle them a lot better. Most of all i thank God each morning for keeping me sober and i turn it all over to him for i have faith in God to give me the guidence i need to live on lifes terms thank you


Member: Karl Z
Location: Richmond
Date: 6/11/2003
Time: 10:25:59 PM

Comments

I've been depressed and angry today. Reading your postings really turned me around. Thank you.


Member: Sandi B
Location: East Coast
Date: 6/11/2003
Time: 11:00:04 PM

Comments

Life sucks and I'm in it. Any time I don't want to live with those terms, I am free to obliterate it with alcohol..possibly to the point of death or beyond. Actually if life were truly fair...I would be dead right now. I prefer to stay sober and see what happens...At least in sobriety there's hope. That's what I peceive as living life on life's terms.


Member: Tom G.
Location: Michigan
Date: 6/12/2003
Time: 12:08:38 AM

Comments

Tom, Alcoholic. Sober by the grace of God since 12-15-1989 and counting. My sponsor died with 20 years of continuous sobriety, and I am forever grateful for the patience and tolerance he paid to me. What did drunks do before AA? I don't think I could have got sober in church or something. I need the fellowship of other drunks like me. At my first meeting (in 1984) the sign behind the podium read: Hope Is Found Here. How true it was! By all rights, I should be dead, or at least behind bars...but I was one who never got caught...yet... So life on life's terms could be worse. I have to remember that when fear of financial insecurity creeps into my life. When all else fails, work with another alcoholic...So be it.


Member: Kambel W.
Location: CenCal
Date: 6/12/2003
Time: 12:58:15 AM

Comments

Kambel W. Alcoholic For myself life on lifes terms, means I must find acceptance. I struggled with this concept mightly and failed miserably, on my own. But when I surrendered my will to God (of my understanding), I could accept many people places and things; my alcholism, my self-will, my powerlessness and unmanageable life, the steps, the program of AA. This surrender and resulting acceptance, are what assist me daily to live life on lifes terms


Member: Ron L
Location: Winnipeg. Man. Can.
Date: 6/12/2003
Time: 4:24:14 AM

Comments

My name is Ron and Im an alcoholic. Living life on lifes terms," No big deal," Been sober over 30 years, have and still do attend 3-4 meetings a week, No work or financial problems cause Ive been retired for a few years now, Got every thing that I need, Lived with a few women to know that the one I got is as good as they get, and at 67 years old I have no sex, (problems) To old and feeble to fight with anyone that I disagree with. On the other hand... Im in love with my wife. I play a lot of golf and in my age group Im one of the best, Good GOD don't tell me that Im at that place where " We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us." GOD IS doing for us what we could not do for ourselfs. Yes, YES Im at that place and loving every minute of it, Don't think I could have got here with out staying sober and attending meetings on a regular bases Really do love you all Thanks


Member: robert j
Location: angel beach
Date: 6/12/2003
Time: 5:59:50 AM

Comments

To me Life on Lifes Terms can be summed up with two words...emotional maturity.


Member: Mike H
Location: Jackson MI
Date: 6/12/2003
Time: 7:43:58 AM

Comments

Mike, alcoholic. My idea of "life on lifes terms" is not trying to control what is going on around me or fighting it tooth and nail. If I accept what is happening and try to do my part then life is great. All I get for fighting it is misery and I have had enough of that for a lifetime. Progress not perfection. I have learned I don't need to be the best, I just need to show up and try. Thanks for being here.


Member: Suzyqnj
Location: NJ
Date: 6/12/2003
Time: 10:40:39 AM

Comments

In AA I share MY experience, stegnth, and hope. I learn to live my life useing the steps and I learn how to be part of the fellowship by useing the traditions. I show compasion for other recovering Alcoholics and become responsible for the hand of AA to always be there for the next person. I learned to look at my own faults and see where they need to be corrected and learned not to judge other peoples faults, because, well, it's none of my business. Suzyqnj


Member: mlg
Location: wa
Date: 6/12/2003
Time: 11:20:24 AM

Comments

yesterday is the past ,tomarrow is the future ,today is a gift ,thats why they call it the present. this is how i live life on life's terms.


Member: Jackie
Location: MN
Date: 6/12/2003
Time: 11:43:51 AM

Comments

Ron L, you are an inspiration, I definately want what you have :)


Member: angie m
Location: costa mesa california
Date: 6/12/2003
Time: 12:06:59 PM

Comments

((robert j)) i defiently agree with you on emotional maturity.... something i had none of when i got here and i was 28 years old for crying out loud....but i am learning and becoming emtionally mature ...little by little but its definetly improved in the past several months ((mlg)) i like that little saying it makes sense... i can do that to ....how wonderful today is a gift thats why they call it the present.....


Member: kelley s
Location: texas
Date: 6/12/2003
Time: 12:46:15 PM

Comments

Hi, kelley here alcoholic/addict. clean and sober since 04/04/01.living life on life's terms can sometimes be horrible. The thing I deal with most on a daily basis is living with the guilt I carry. I have a real hard time forgiving myself for the things I did to other people while drinkng and using. Other people have seen fit to forgive me but I can't. I doubt I ever will.I hurt my daughter so badly. I sent her off to live with my brother while I enjoyed my insanity. I need comments on how to forgive myself, please......


Member: Don I
Location: New York
Date: 6/12/2003
Time: 1:31:01 PM

Comments

Hello, Don greatful recovering alcoholic. It't really quite simple, continue making meetings. Keep a relationship with a higher power of your understanding. Continue to pray and meditatate. pray for the knowlege of Gods will for you and the power to carry it out. It's been my experience that life keeps changing. The more you keep coming, the more will be revieled. Peace and Blessings.


Member: Carol M.T.
Location: Panama City Beach,FL
Date: 6/12/2003
Time: 2:43:09 PM

Comments

Thankyou for your insights into living sober. I am a new resident to Panama City Beach, FL and it's interesting living in a resort community. Some days it would be so easy to be missing friends, family and my former meetings and just isolate. Instead I have been attending one meeting a day, especially when I don't feel like it, and it's helping me connect with others in the fellowship. The advise to attend a meeting ESPECIALLY when I do not feel like it is sure working. I feel rejuvinated when I leave.God Bless AA.


Member: Stephanie
Location: Chicago
Date: 6/12/2003
Time: 3:09:33 PM

Comments

Hi all, some powerful posts here. "Life's terms" to me means not on my terms. In other words, life doesn't revolve around me and does not conform to my will. I don't make the rules and can't manage my life my way. I can, however, make a dandy channel for the HP if I'm open to that role. Acceptance, it's a beautiful thing. I can let go of anger, anxiety, guilt and shame and move forward. Trace, "damn" takes an "n." "Dam" is something else. There are dictionaries if you're curious. Personally, if I am going to do something, I prefer to do it skillfully. It's especially embarassing to try to make a fool out of someone else and end up looking like an ass myself. Said in love and a helpful spirit to help you avoid that sick embarassment in the future. Bill P, I was taught to share MY experience, MY strength, and MY hope. It keeps ME honest and not lecturing or giving advice. When something confuses ME, I either ask the question (nicely) in a meeting or ask MY sponsor. I'm not telling you what to do. I'm telling you how I got what I have, which is sobriety and some measure of peace; now if you want it, do what I did. Principles before personalities... Bruce, congratulations on your 20 years, that's awesome. Mary S, if you want to talk to a female in the program, please email me at rule62_0826@yahoo.com.


Member: Mike
Location: Colorado
Date: 6/12/2003
Time: 4:44:16 PM

Comments

Just checking in. Still plugging away, although I'm doing this a bit differently. If this religion stuff doesn't work for you either, try http://www.aadeprogramming.com/ http://www.rationalrecovery.org/ http://www.unhooked.com/ http://www.secularsobriety.org/ Good Luck.


Member: joe s.
Location: Michigan Rezdog
Date: 6/12/2003
Time: 5:16:21 PM

Comments

joe, alcoholic. life is worth living today. inspiration can be fleeting, however, glimpses of sobriety are precious. that is what i look for in the eyes of brothers and sisters at the tables of a.a. much can be learned through this spiritual journey of the 12 steps. "contempt prior to investigation" is not a design for living. keep it real. miigwetch!


Member: Susan A.
Location: Vernon, Connecticut
Date: 6/12/2003
Time: 5:28:53 PM

Comments

Hi All, I'm Susan and I'm an Alcoholic. Thanks, Heather. Drinking as much/often as possible so as to stay in oblivion & avoid life was how I knew to 'live' up until I found myself in an AA meeting one day. 'Opting-in" each day by suiting up and practicing the principles I learn in AA as a way of making ammends for past actions, and trying to take part and contribute to whatever I'm blessed with day-to-day is what I think "living life on life's terms" means. Not running away in fear when new opportunities come to me, and helping others to find a way to fill that god-awful hole so they can live without drinking, too, is what it means to me also. Giving back what I was so freely given, and being responsible day-to-day, especially when I don't want to. (Mary S.) there's lots of good meetings in Seattle! I hope you find some quickly, and get real comfy around the tables! (Leeann) so glad you're here. Teen years and School are some of the roughest times ever, I think.


Member: Teresa B.
Location: IN
Date: 6/12/2003
Time: 6:01:45 PM

Comments

Hello everyone, Teresa alcoholic. Hmmm Heather, living life on life's terms, great topic. One of life's terms things I had to adjust to was that recovery was not going to happen as fast as I want it to, or how I want it to turn out. "I'm *right* where I need to be today" is one of those AA sayings that's been a big help. Also, the Serenity Prayer helps a lot too. When I find myself getting incensed over something, it works so much better if I take a good, long look at it and see if it's something I can really do anything about. Usually the only thing I can do is decide if I'm going to react wisely or foolishly. Take care just this 24....


Member: Kat V.
Location: Mo.
Date: 6/12/2003
Time: 6:32:12 PM

Comments

Hi y'all. Kat here, grateful alcoholic. Kelley s. I have a few questions for you to ask yourself that may help with the self forgivness thing. Ready? okay #1 do you believe in a higher power? #2 Do you believe he/she has forgiven you? If you answered yes to these Q's then here's the biggie. #3 Do you know more than your higher power? If you have been forgiven by the big H.P. then who the heck are you to argue with that? None of us really forget our pasts but with help we can look into it and take away from it the lessons we need to learn. The past is dead, let it be. Just don't make the same mistakes in your life now. I have found that those of us that allow our guilt about the past to eat at us eventually allow it to swallow us whole and we relapse. I hope you can take something positive from this. Love and sobriety to all.


Member: marti
Location: Portland
Date: 6/12/2003
Time: 7:52:14 PM

Comments

Marti, alcoholic/addict. Kelley, I had the same problem and my sponsor said that if I didn't drink or use again I would not have to repeat the things I was remorseful about.For some reason this really helped me. The fourth/fifth step helped me too. I really like using emotional maturity with life's terms. Lots of good comments.


Member: PatK.
Location: Oahu, Hawaii
Date: 6/12/2003
Time: 9:44:31 PM

Comments

For the person that isn't able to forgive themselves; you are accepting life on your term; not on God's or life's terms; it takes so much time working on ourselves; it took me 2 times entering AA till I finally GOT IT; I wanted without knowing everything to be okay right when I began my recovery Nav. 12, 1985; it doesn't work that way; I needed to get a Sponsor; listen at meetings to the ones who I was ble to relate too; work each step; 1step at a time; I have gone over the steps at least 6 times or more since becoming a suseful recovering alcholic; I am proud to be an alcoholic; proud to know that my God loves me and loved me when I was drunk and crazy; it's so much better in knowing God loves me in my sane time now...don't know if I am helping or commenting acceptably on this discussion; and this too is okay for me today..there will be so many ups and many, many downs in our recovery; just keep on trucking and walking in your shoes to a beautiful sober life...God bless and keep us on the path and taking the right direction at the forks in the road...keep coming back,ya'll.


Member: Jim
Location: CT.
Date: 6/12/2003
Time: 10:37:54 PM

Comments

Hi I'm jim and alcholic I never could get the idea that aa could help me outI never wanted to open up and let anybody now my thinking I thought I could just quit on my own I didn't want to drink anymore so I wouldn't drink I could do it alone and I did for 16 years I didn't drink didn't go to meetings but I just wasn't happy mad at the world for a long time I hated meetings BO WHO thats all I heard some people are realy into it some are there for the show trusting people is very hard for me but I know trying to do it alone will not work you just can't be happy so please don't think like me you wouldn't be happy


Member: chad t
Location: ny
Date: 6/12/2003
Time: 11:03:50 PM

Comments

hi i'm chad and i think i maybe an alcoholic. been sober for almost 6 months. but today, i was browsing through some files on my girlfriends cpu for some info on a credit card, and stumbled upon the fact that she has been using sites like classmates.com to try to locate her ex boyfriend. boy, did i want a pint right then and there. it hurts. i dont know if i should confront her when she gets home. any advice?


Member: Sandi B.
Location: Eastcoast
Date: 6/13/2003
Time: 12:51:57 AM

Comments

KELLY,,,,,Hi. I find that sometimes Guilt is a good healthy thing. Use it to your benefit. When that urge to drink comes over you...think about the pain you caused ...and vow not to add to that sorrow. There is probably nothing you did that a drink would not make worse.If we had no guilt...we would feel no pain..therefore ther would be no desire for change. May God bless you and Yours, Sandi


Member: Carlc
Location: nm
Date: 6/13/2003
Time: 1:37:11 AM

Comments

God must be pretty stupid. I hear all the time in meetings that he talks through you all and boy has he said some pretty stupid things on this post.


Member: Carlc
Location: nm
Date: 6/13/2003
Time: 1:48:13 AM

Comments

I apoligize, this post was meant for the coffee pot.


Member: chad t
Location:
Date: 6/13/2003
Time: 2:07:30 AM

Comments

PWNED by God. you suck at the internet.


Member: Bikerbabe
Location: Its a good thing......
Date: 6/13/2003
Time: 3:11:25 AM

Comments

Some people are really gossiping in the a and a program here where i live.. thier saying that "a certain someone"... is drinking , because the person choses not to go to a and a ..any more "But you aint heard it from me".. "CAUSE I AINT ONE TA GOSSIP!"... ((((( So Martha Martha Martha.... aparently she thinks she's superior to alot of peps...((she is")).. go Martha go... there's nothing wrong with her thinking that. especially cause its true.so what?.. whats up with these people... going on tv.. and being all like "she wont go to parties.. if so and so pulitzer prize winner isn't there.. or "don't invite buddy.. to my party she says.. cause he's got no money... (like she's not allowed to have her boundries and preferences.. what a crockitty crock of crotchetty... old.... <<anyhow... have a good week ya all... happy birthday to birthday types.. congrats on new ones for being new....sex rock and roll,,... but no more drugs kay?......Broooommmmmm Brack! Brack!.... bikerchickies out....


Member: Lisa H
Location: Lake George, NY
Date: 6/13/2003
Time: 11:20:24 AM

Comments

Life on lifes terms can be serene. Keeping busy and not drinking. Certain people in my life, I don't know. I am so weak to this disease. Certain people just need to go. By that I mean I need not associate with them any longer. It is so true that if you don't get the program eventually it just gets you.


Member: Bob S
Location:
Date: 6/13/2003
Time: 4:56:02 PM

Comments

This post in response to Kelley S. Kelley, I think part of living life on life's terms is accepting we cannot change the past. As much as we want to, we can't alter history. But we can change "future history" by living in today and focusing on doing the next right thing by discerning God's will for us and by asking Him for the courage to carry that out. Doing the right thing today is what builds a positive past and hope for the future. You can't change anything you have done to hurt your daughter in the past, but you can do what is right for your daughter today. In time you will learn not to regret the past, and also not to desire to close the door on it. You will be able to compare and contrast how much better your past has been since you quit drinking and using. Good luck to you, and my prayers are with you and with your daughter.


Member: Sober
Location: Without AA
Date: 6/13/2003
Time: 5:54:58 PM

Comments

Lisa H in Lake George----I'm in your area in Ny and I can see how the AA's have you under the AA brainwashing spell----GET OUT NOW WHILE YOU STILL CAN SWEETIE!!!!!!!!!!11


Member: Sober
Location: Without aa
Date: 6/13/2003
Time: 6:25:19 PM

Comments

yes sometimes I think your right they do brainwash some people some need it some don't to each his own sometimes I think there all on cloud 9


Member: angie m
Location: costa mesa california
Date: 6/13/2003
Time: 7:09:39 PM

Comments

hey i needed the brainwashing when i got here .... so thank god for it ...... ya know how they say some are sicker then others .... well fine then maybe us sicker ones needed the brainwashing... but only foolish people would say something like that people who are to afraid to give it shot ..... anyways if your against aa what in the heck are you doing on this site ......


Member: angie m
Location: costa mesa california
Date: 6/13/2003
Time: 7:09:43 PM

Comments

hey i needed the brainwashing when i got here .... so thank god for it ...... ya know how they say some are sicker then others .... well fine then maybe us sicker ones needed the brainwashing... but only foolish people would say something like that people who are to afraid to give it shot ..... anyways if your against aa what in the heck are you doing on this site ......


Member: david koresh
Location: happy campin
Date: 6/14/2003
Time: 12:03:10 AM

Comments

hahaha ,,man, some of you just bust me up,,what the f%#%,,, my brain needed a washin,,,why would some one come on this site to try and get people out of trying to get sober ?? are they retarded???? Duhhhhhhhhh,,


Member:
Location:
Date: 6/14/2003
Time: 12:36:18 AM

Comments

Did they quit selling big books??


Member:
Location:
Date: 6/14/2003
Time: 12:36:27 AM

Comments

are you so stupid as to think gettin out of aa means not getting sober??/ typical alkie..........


Member: Carrie
Location: Los Angeles
Date: 6/14/2003
Time: 4:28:49 AM

Comments

Typical alcoholic behavior is posting anti-AA sentiments on an AA website....


Member: r m
Location: pa
Date: 6/14/2003
Time: 8:08:06 AM

Comments

hello my name is robin and im an alcoholic i want to hear about about the 4th step


Member: John O'L
Location: DFW Texas
Date: 6/14/2003
Time: 10:08:30 AM

Comments

Good Morning to All from John, an alcoholic from Texas with over 21 years sobriety thanks to this wonderful program, the people in it and the Higher Power who watches over us. Living Life on Life's Terms is easier for me thanks to this website, because I can come here at any time 24/7 and I can move more toward sane and rational thinking and further away from my inclination toward bitterness, resentment, and repressed and impacted rage and anger. A situation at work yesterday was bothering me, dealing with personalities rather than issues, and reading what all of you have written here this week helps me so much that I have a hard time putting it in to words, but as recovering alcoholics you all know what our Big Book, Grapevine, Meetings, and the entire Program in all its aspects, and what this Site has done to help us in our journey from who we were to the people we strive for and hope to become. God Bless all of you who are part of this, as you have made a positive impact on my life that I cannot explain, except to say that the person who came to AA 21 years ago is still on the road of happy destiny and trudging forward in the company of all of you.


Member:
Location:
Date: 6/14/2003
Time: 10:18:30 AM

Comments

4th what?? Who cares??/ This is open web-site idiots, say whatever ya want to!!!!!!!! I sure as hell will!!!!!!!!!


Member:
Location:
Date: 6/14/2003
Time: 11:34:23 AM

Comments

For some reason, I thought the purpose of AA was to assist people in defeating their drinking problem. What I realize is that an insane burned out drunk in a church basement telling people how to live their lives helps no one. If this religion stuff doesn't work for you either, try http://www.aadeprogramming.com/ http://www.rationalrecovery.org/ http://www.unhooked.com/ http://www.secularsobriety.org/ If you wait for 'rock bottom', it may be too late. Good Luck.


Member: Lisa H
Location: Lake George
Date: 6/14/2003
Time: 1:16:37 PM

Comments

Sober w/o AA I am sorry that you feel this way. May God bless you abundantly. You sound like you may have some anger built up. We are all at different stages of our individual growth in recovery. You come across as immature. Are you aware of this?


Member: rgb
Location: fh
Date: 6/14/2003
Time: 2:34:43 PM

Comments

The intent of this site is to publicly address some very serious issues which concern the well known program of Alcoholics Anonymous. At first glance, this popular abstinence program appears to save countless lives, but upon closer examination we find that a notable amount of individuals suffer further as a result of AA thought reform. Many see AA as their last hope -- when they fail to find answers in the program which really work, some give up, drink fatally and die. (We believe that in some of these cases, the indoctrinated belief of powerlessness is acting as a lethal self-fulfilling prophecy) These deaths are then attributed to the "disease" of alcoholism and the lost member is seen as not having "worked the program". We do not agree with this viewpoint! The contributors to this site have found that AA has a dark side which is rarely discussed in meetings and is discussed only in a limited capacity in print. This is an attempt to voice this much needed alternate point of view. Additionally, we hope to provide an open forum for discussion where questioning and critiquing is encouraged, so that those individuals who do choose AA can be better consumers. Lastly, for those creative thinkers who are spinning their wheels in a 12 step program, we hope to provide long-overdue information which encourages growth outside of AA. Meditation of the Month -- March Rebels and dissidents challenge the complacent belief in a just world, and... they are usually denigrated for their efforts. While they are alive, they may be called "cantankerous", "crazy", "hysterical", "uppity", or "duped". Dead, some of them become saints and heroes, the sterling characters of history. It's a matter of proportion. One angry rebel is crazy, three is a conspiracy, fifty is a movement. -Carol Travis Books provided by: "I never gave them hell. I just told the truth and they thought it was hell." -Harry Truman


Member:
Location:
Date: 6/14/2003
Time: 2:36:03 PM

Comments

Lisa in lake george, are you aware you sound like a whore who's been brainwashed into thinking it's o.k. to fuck anyone and everyone as long as you don't drink?


Member: fds
Location: sdf
Date: 6/14/2003
Time: 2:41:14 PM

Comments

The intent of this site is to publicly address some very serious issues which concern the well known program of Alcoholics Anonymous. At first glance, this popular abstinence program appears to save countless lives, but upon closer examination we find that a notable amount of individuals suffer further as a result of AA thought reform. Many see AA as their last hope -- when they fail to find answers in the program which really work, some give up, drink fatally and die. (We believe that in some of these cases, the indoctrinated belief of powerlessness is acting as a lethal self-fulfilling prophecy) These deaths are then attributed to the "disease" of alcoholism and the lost member is seen as not having "worked the program". We do not agree with this viewpoint! The contributors to this site have found that AA has a dark side which is rarely discussed in meetings and is discussed only in a limited capacity in print. This is an attempt to voice this much needed alternate point of view. Additionally, we hope to provide an open forum for discussion where questioning and critiquing is encouraged, so that those individuals who do choose AA can be better consumers. Lastly, for those creative thinkers who are spinning their wheels in a 12 step program, we hope to provide long-overdue information which encourages growth outside of AA. Meditation of the Month -- March Rebels and dissidents challenge the complacent belief in a just world, and... they are usually denigrated for their efforts. While they are alive, they may be called "cantankerous", "crazy", "hysterical", "uppity", or "duped". Dead, some of them become saints and heroes, the sterling characters of history. It's a matter of proportion. One angry rebel is crazy, three is a conspiracy, fifty is a movement. -Carol Travis Books provided by: "I never gave them hell. I just told the truth and they thought it was hell." -Harry Truman


Member: Carrie
Location: Los Angeles
Date: 6/14/2003
Time: 2:44:26 PM

Comments

Lisa, I dont think this kid is aware of anything outside his twisted little world. Let's use these outbursts to thank God we are freed from the insanity that these poor people still suffer from.


Member: chris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: 6/14/2003
Time: 4:19:30 PM

Comments

I'm chris _I'man alcoholic/addict...Kelly..I too have struggled with forgiving myself...Doing a 4th and 5th step on the problems really helped..Putting my Mistakes in writing ( so they quit floating around in my head, becoming bigger than they were) helped. And sharing those mistakes with another helped. They shared with me their own journey of self forgiveness and that helped me in my own journey....Living life on lifes terms has ben real improtant for me...I used to live in a fantasy world because my life was not very good...Finally, I am learning to live in gratitude for all of the gifts i recieve on a daily basis. I never saw them before, because I was too busy wishing I had a different life or besause I was too busy wining about what I didn't have. Through the program of A.A. , I am learning to take life on life's terms and be greatful for what I have...When you look at life that way, it is amazing what you really do have. Thanks for letting me share.


Member:
Location:
Date: 6/14/2003
Time: 4:46:33 PM

Comments

Carrie you lesbian slut-fuck, go dip a dick with her why dont ya bitch/


Member: cb
Location: usa
Date: 6/14/2003
Time: 9:01:51 PM

Comments

HELLO, Every body I'm Happy man in for being here wright now. TOday the world go's around thats life. I pray to the he and what has do for the me to change . life today is up lifting.To me I can listen to the word go around today my clean buy the word and one toget my life knot to sin any more thanks to the people to work the program today a day at second of aday thank the big man and sister are like to no trobbles staying clean think in what has happen in the past let go. today pray about it call people to tell to help a we program toget stronger is to grow have anice day


Member: cb
Location: usa
Date: 6/14/2003
Time: 9:02:26 PM

Comments

HELLO, Every body I'm Happy man in for being here wright now. TOday the world go's around thats life. I pray to the he and what has do for the me to change . life today is up lifting.To me I can listen to the word go around today my clean buy the word and one toget my life knot to sin any more thanks to the people to work the program today a day at second of aday thank the big man and sister are like to no trobbles staying clean think in what has happen in the past let go. today pray about it call people to tell to help a we program toget stronger is to grow have anice day


Member: Donna
Location:
Date: 6/14/2003
Time: 9:15:20 PM

Comments

I have been sober for 16 years, worked the steps, worked with others, regular home group meetings and I stay in contact with a power greater than myself who loves me just the way I am. I am learning to love myself and to be grateful for life on life's terms. This a.m. I woke up clearly seeing the insanity of my life before sobriety. I dragged my beautiful little girl through a life of drugs, guns, organized crime, insane people and sexual abuse. I cannot understand today how I could have behaved that way. I can only accept that my alcoholism made me insane and disconnected me from my true self. I have made ammends. My daughter has come through it all a strong, loving person. Today my 16 year old son (I got sober during the pregnancy) cursed at me and yelled. I have been resenting it and in pain until I came to this meeting and realized that life on life's terms means for me accepting that my kid acts badly now and again and I can choose to let go of it after I tell him how I feel or keep it and beatmyself up with it. Thanks for a meeting when I needed one. I am recovering from oral surgery and needed some grace.


Member: Sandi B.
Location: Eastcoast
Date: 6/14/2003
Time: 11:20:08 PM

Comments

The AA twelve step program is not only a good way to abstain from drinking but is a good way for just "normal people" to learn how to treat themselves and their fellowmen with respect and empathy, Clean and sober and relatively sane and happy....due to the AA program, Sandi. One Year.


Member: Sandi B
Location: Eastcoast
Date: 6/14/2003
Time: 11:24:51 PM

Comments

ROBIN: Go to the home page on this site and click on the 12 and 12. They are discussing the fourth step right now.


Member: Sandi B.
Location: Eastcoast
Date: 6/14/2003
Time: 11:32:21 PM

Comments

FOR THE PERSON THAT KEEPS USING PROFANITY AND NOT SIGNING YOUR NAME; Why are you so angry? Is there anything that you would like to talk about? There are a lot of sincere honest people here that would gladly hear you out...if you would just keep an open mind and say what your REAL problem is. It is obvious to all that you are in real trouble and most likely friendless.


Member: Amy C
Location: chicago
Date: 6/15/2003
Time: 2:51:05 AM

Comments

Thanks Linda F for your comment, it helped me alot. Disturbable. haha I am on step 4 and I am on pause. It seems so complex at times. BUT its not so bad when I take Life one day at a time. I use to think everyone was out to get me. Boy was my perception off! Today I can keep it simple. I like the saying that goes IF YOU DONT CHANGE, YOUR PAST WILL BECOME YOUR FUTURE. Thanks for all your comments. Remember no God no peace/Know GOD, Know peace.


Member: Heather
Location: to Rose M
Date: 6/15/2003
Time: 6:50:49 AM

Comments

Rose M, Thanks for the kind thought, but no, I'm not drunk- sorry to disappoint you. Does that cause a problem for you with living life on life's terms? If so, too bad....


Member: Friend of Bill W
Location: 12 and 12
Date: 6/15/2003
Time: 10:47:46 AM

Comments

Hi all. Since we are close to closing this topic out no one may read this, but I need to say this. If you want to Rational Recovery meeting then go to their site. Quit trying to sell your stuff here. If it works for you, then terrific! This is an AA site dedicated to AA principles and steps. It is an AA meeting online. It is not a forum to discuss other treatment modalities. DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU and leave these folks alone.