Member: Bruce N
Location: Houston
Date: 5/19/2002
Time: 11:42:17 AM

Comments

Hi, Bruce an alcoholic....Good morning everyone. I have noticed over the past few weeks quite a few people sharing about their relapses. Just recently a very good friend of ours relapsed after 14 years plus sobriety and left the family and all that goes with it. It was heartbreaking! I thought there must be a way to figure this out...to somehow fix it. So I picked up the Big Book and turned to this page (I love how God works) ..Pg.39 "But the actual or potentiel alcholic, with hardly an exception, will be 'absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge'. Why don't we talk about "How do we stay stopped". Thanks and God bless.


Member: Maria C.
Location: California
Date: 5/19/2002
Time: 11:56:02 AM

Comments

Hi, Maria an alcoholic. I stay stopped by beginning each day by reading page 417 in the Big Book(4th ed.) on acceptance, 7th step prayer on page 76, saying the NA 3rd step prayer. I ask God each morming to take away my obsession and thank him each night for doing so. I practice the principles and go to meetings. Thank you for letting me share.


Member: Mike S.
Location: New York
Date: 5/19/2002
Time: 12:28:47 PM

Comments

Hi, My name's Mike, and I'm an alcoholic. The part of the book that this topic brings to mind right away is in Bill's Story, pp. 14-15. "My friend had empasized the absolute necessity of demonstrating these principles in all my affairs. Particularly was it imperative to work with others as he had worked with me. ... if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. ..." This is what I have found to be the hardest thing for me to do. I have a tendency to do a little work until I begin to feel better, and then I decide to take a little break. I have no doubt in my mind that if I ever get to one of Life's trials and low spots, and do not use the tools that I know work, that I too will drink again.


Member: John D.
Location: Chino, California
Date: 5/19/2002
Time: 1:52:06 PM

Comments

Hi,my name is John, And I am an alchoholic.I have not had a drink in 6 years-6 months and 1 day.But something is wrong.I left a the program in april of 96. During this time I have lost my 16 year old daughter, my women of 8 years and now spend half time with my two sons ages 5 & 6. I Know now there is and always was a terrible angry beast still within me and I was blind to it. My heart and my family are broken. I have cursed God and wished for death on a daily basis while at the same time getting dangerously close to a drink to wash the pain away. I know If I go there I will with out a doubt be dead within a year. Though the tools I took with me when I left AA helped me to stay away from the drink, I realise now I have done nothing to grow spiritualy, and the beast is angrier and stronger than ever before. I am beginning to understand that I can no longer keep this between God and myself.


Member: Tom S
Location: NYC
Date: 5/19/2002
Time: 5:00:59 PM

Comments

Tom, alcoholic. I "stay stopped" by keeping it simple, and staying focused on today. No matter how much time I'm sober, my disease is still standing close by ready to jump on my back. Thus, it's important for me to look at what's on the table in front of me. I try to make it to a meeting each day. If I can't, I pick up the phone, read literature and/or go online. I pray. My HP is the key to my sanity because that is where I get help for things I can't do myself, such as willingness, acceptance, etc. Then, I put one foot in front of the other and show up for work, class, homework and the "minor" details of taking care of myself like eating, listening to music and resting. At the end of the day, if I haven't picked up that first drink, I'm a winner. Hang in there, John D! This is a simple, gentle program and we don't need to use it to beat ourselves over the head. If you can, try to get to a meeting, even just to listen. If you can't for some reason, keep coming back here. Also know that you can pick up the phone and call AA intergroup just to talk anonymously. You'll be okay if you can just stay away from that first drink today. And let us love you until you can love yourself.


Member: Donnie M (D.O.S. 3-1-99)
Location: Short Gap, W.Va.
Date: 5/19/2002
Time: 5:40:20 PM

Comments

Hi, to all I am Donnie and I am an alcoholic. That is a tough topic Bruce, but a great topic. We have lost some people around here in the past year including one guy who had twenty four years in the program. What have we learned from these people is that if we let our guard down and our old thinking comes back and we are hopelessly in the grasp of king alcohol. I find myself reading pg. 449 in the third edition and pg. 417 in the fourth edition that looks into acceptance this one thing we have to do on a daily basis accept that we are powerless over any mind altering chemical on the market or of the market for that matter. We can only hope to learn how to help each other thru our hard days and good days, because it is a we program not a I program. I hope we can meet here next week and if you are the one who had a drink just suck it up and come back and try it again and remember that you never have to feel helpless again. Thanks for letting me share and God bless all.


Member: Tom T
Location: New York
Date: 5/19/2002
Time: 5:59:59 PM

Comments

Hi everyone, Tom, I am an alcoholic.

It was explained to me that there are three sides to the triangle.Unity, Recovery, and Service. If I were to keep some of each one of those things in my life I would probably be OK. That didn't meen that I had to do them perfectly, just that I do something more than just go to meetings. Unity is the home group. Mine is the Marathon Group, we meet on sunday nights at 8pm. fact is that I am opening this month.Recovery are the steps, and the literature.this together with a sponser and others in AA are showing me,one day at a time realy works. Service, I can honestly say that I have never been without a job in AA ever since I joined a homegroup. The night I joined Keith E said to me, This is perfect timing, we are having a business meeting after and we are changing jobs, I'm sure we have one for you.

Great topic Bruce, This is realy all we have to share you know. Our Experience, and this is what works for me.

Thank you for the chance to share,

Tom T


Member: Jim F
Location: Guilin, China
Date: 5/19/2002
Time: 7:05:55 PM

Comments

Good topic. My routine is simple enough. I try to get to a meeting every day. Our Early Birds in Sequim, WA, meets 7 days a week. From there I go to breakfast and from there to school where I teach. What a simple way to live.

Most of my friends are in the program. It just happened that way. By staying active and involved, I have never found myself on the outside looking in.

While Ann and I are in China, teaching for this quarter, I am using the Staying Cyber site as my meeting for the day. Everyone I asked, What happened? when they came back said the same thing, I stopped going to meetings ... and then.

Easy? No. I have been through the death of a spouse, the drugging of a daughter, the death of a parent ... but I never gotten too far from the program and found all the help and support I needed.

Jim from Sequim


Member: Stephanie D
Location: Chicago
Date: 5/19/2002
Time: 10:26:34 PM

Comments

Hi family, my name is Stephanie and I am a grateful recovering alcoholic. Thank God for this program.

If I am spiritually fit, the danger of my drinking is much less. I have to 1) remember the Power that is GREATER than me, and 2) cultivate gratitude. If I remember that my HP is the one in charge, acceptance comes easier. If I start getting upset, fearful, angry, etc. it is usually because I don't like the way my HP is running my little corner of the universe, and that's a dangerous place to be in my head. I can get very close to a drink that way.

But I don't have a red telephone with a direct line to the HP. I need the people in this program to serve as His voice and communicate His will. I talk to my spiritual advisor (an AA friend), a sponsee, and others every day, and get to a meeting. I talk to my sponsor less often than I should (working on that!). I also read the BB at least a few minutes each night.

Now I only get lonely if I really work at it :). I am accountable to others, which keeps me honest. As a result, my gratitude steadily grows with fewer setbacks. My life is good even if there are hard things in it.

The advice given to me: don't drink, go to meetings, ask for help, and Don't Forget To Thank Him!

Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Theresa K.
Location: Burnsville, MN
Date: 5/19/2002
Time: 10:31:57 PM

Comments

Hi my name is Theresa and I am an alcoholic. The topics are great and just what I needed I have been in the program for 18 years and over the last 4 have let home group and the numbers of meetings slip. I am just plain lucky that I did not but my behavior was just as goofy and of course I was ripe for another complusive behavior. but that is another chat room LOL. I have come back to many of your comments like one day and only today and going to meetings gives me great comfort and helps with the stinking thinking. I am back to making a meeting a day and this will count as a good place for me to sign off before going to bed. Thanks for being out there in CyberSpace and reminding me that all I need to do in live in the here and now.


Member: Les
Location: California
Date: 5/19/2002
Time: 11:24:03 PM

Comments

What I've found that works is doing my best to practice the principles, I learned from taking the Steps, in all my affairs.


Member: Cec H
Location: cowtown
Date: 5/20/2002
Time: 4:57:31 AM

Comments

Hi all,Cec H alkie here. There are things I do on a daily basis to stay away from that first drink.I do my morning reading and meditation to remind myself whos in charge. I talk to other members on a daily basis. When asked how I am I donn't lie and say fine if I am not. Do my ten every day. Try and do better everyday.


Member: David H
Location: Nashville
Date: 5/20/2002
Time: 7:59:13 AM

Comments

My name David, alocoholic, I have to start my mornings, on my knees, asking in my prayors for the gift of sobriety. I have to also thank him at night.


Member: FrankD
Location: NJ
Date: 5/20/2002
Time: 8:44:04 AM

Comments

I will only stay sober as long as I am willing to do whatever it takes to stay sober. Honesty with others and myself, reliance on God, who makes the impossible possible, and not drinking one day at a time. I am not in a place where I can take the long view and may never be. But I can stay sober today!

Frank


Member: Lydia W
Location: Savannah
Date: 5/20/2002
Time: 8:48:05 AM

Comments

Just want to say how GRATEFUL i am that the HP working through Bruce decided that this would be a good topic this week. I am LISTENING intently to everything you all are saying, as i just returned from a relapse.Thank you all for sharing your ESH.


Member: Melissa B
Location: Canada
Date: 5/20/2002
Time: 10:49:26 AM

Comments

I stay stopped one day at a time through mindfulness of my alcoholism and the HOW of recovery, honest, openmindedness and willingness. I do something for my recovery every day, be it a meeting, a conversation with my sponsor or a friend, prayer & meditation, reading, or more usually some combination of all the above. The peace and clarity and blessed relief from active addiction that this has brought makes it easy to keep doing what I have been taught. It doesn't feel like work. Like Frank, I don't know whether I will ever be able to take the 'long view', but I do know that I can stay sober today. That's okay, that's enough.

Great topic and much appreciated, Bruce.


Member: karen h
Location:
Date: 5/20/2002
Time: 12:29:17 PM

Comments

Hi Everyone, I'm Karen, and I'm an alcholic. I stayed sober for five years, until about 1.5 years ago. I deeply want to get sober again, but it seems to be much, much harder than the first time. I know I need help, support and strength.


Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: 5/20/2002
Time: 12:29:29 PM

Comments

Hey Gang!! Thanks for the great topic! Rigidity in thinking is the most dangerous pattern for this alcoholic. I have heard that the first step is the only one we need get perfect, but what about when we don’t? “The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking”, not being stopped, for those of you who may be here drunk. Having said that, I am the kind of alcoholic, who loses all hope and sanity with one drink or drug. I can only get back by intervention, because I cease to have the desire to live. I have learned this from bitter experience. For myself being a living dry drunk is better then being a wet one. AA has shown me tools to get right with God, but it usually requires sufficient pain to move me to use those tools.

Today, I am amazed and I love my life. I don’t do anything perfectly, but I continue to seek progress and try showing others that there is hope for us all.


Member: Jim H.
Location: Houston
Date: 5/20/2002
Time: 12:53:21 PM

Comments

Great topic. It is exactly the one that I needed to hear about. I spent 30+ years drinking and 2 years ago started AA. Last week I drank. One night, but nevertheless drank. It happened because I quit believing the first step. Well, I am powerless over alcoholic. Fortunately I felt OK going to my home group and telling about my past day. I had no particular problems going on in my life, no crisis. I just simply thought I could have a drink. I can't. I hope if anyone else has that feeling, they will get to their meeting and talk about it. I now have a new birthday and hope that it stays the same forever. I will stay sober today.


Member: Kim S
Location: Wisconsin
Date: 5/20/2002
Time: 1:55:23 PM

Comments

Hi, Kim S-adict/alcoholic. This last Saturday night, I had the special oportunity to have dinner with a fellow AA who has over 20 years sobriety. This is one of the ways that I keep myself sober. Relaps starts with stinking thinking and that is difficult if I stick close to the program and close to the winners in the program. I go to meetings, use my phone numbers, go out to dinner, go shopping with and just hang out with other AA's. I need to be around them more at some times than others.

My AA friend and I discussed how to stay sober for a long time. I have 1.5 years so far this time around. I sometimes need two or three meetings a day. When I need it, I do it. So few of us have really experienced long, long sobriety and more of us need to focus on how beautiful and rewarding it can be. I am in for the long run this time, not a sprint. Running long distance requires daily maintenance and a good forward pace. I no longer go for the brass ring. I want to learn how to get comfortable on the horse!

He said that meetings are important, but "doing" is more important. We need to always move forward and when we look over our shoulder, we see that there is something done. That is how we keep our self esteem up where it should be.

I have a dear friend in the program who recently relapsed. He has been in and out for over 18 years. Does this mean that he is, "bad" or, "a failure" because of the relapsing? No, it means that he is an alcoholic. We need to remember that we are not acting like normal alcoholics. We are going against the norm. The norm for us is to drink. HP gives us the power to change that. In his case, a good house cleaning would help. I try to keep my house clean as well. But, in the final analysis; the easiest way to keep a house clean is regular, day-to-day maintenance.

Thank you so much for the topic. Reading and writing have pulled me out of my doldrums and back into the world.


Member: sue b
Location: england
Date: 5/20/2002
Time: 2:25:00 PM

Comments

hi, im sue and im an alcoholic. i have been going to aa for 2 weeks, but relapsed on saturday night and had a bottle of wine. i rang 2 members and one was silent and said she didnot know what to say and the other one put the phone down on me. i feel totally disillushoned about this now and dont want to go back. sue


Member: Kim S.
Location: Wisconsin
Date: 5/20/2002
Time: 2:53:34 PM

Comments

Dear Sue B,

If you want to talk off line - laureljean@tds.net


Member: Anne S
Location: New York
Date: 5/20/2002
Time: 4:21:05 PM

Comments

Hi I'm Anne & I'm an alcoholic. First time I've said that...have never been to a "live" meeting. Just checking out the web site. I wish I could answer how to stay stopped. I don't even know if I can believe in a Higher Power. Can I ever get sober without believing in a God?? The only things that keep me abstaining for a few days are the pain it causes my daughter and the physical pain it causes me. Then, of course, I rationilize that this time I can have just one or two -- until my husband is carrying me upstairs...


Member: john b
Location: kentucky
Date: 5/20/2002
Time: 4:25:10 PM

Comments

Hi, my name is john and I'm an alcoholic. This is a very important topic for me. I have 16 years sober but hit an emotional bottom last year that nearly led me to drink. I allowed myself to get into another addiction (gambling) by rationalizing that "Hey, I'm sober/clean and in AA, I deserve a vice." Well, for me any vice will almost certainly lead to addiction as this one did and almost cost me my family.

Fortunately I got help for my other addiction and have been clean for a year. However, I found that I had allowed my ego and self-will to return to run my life. Although I continued to go to an AA meeting a day, I was spiritually bankrupt and as far from living the principles of the program as I was when I came to AA.

For me this past year "staying stopped" has meant rededicating myself to AA by getting a sponsor (my old sponsor had passed away several years ago), going back through the steps, getting into AA literature (Big Book, etc.) and going to a meeting a day and reaching out to people (I had been in the habit of being the last one to arrive at a meeting and the first one to leave). This seems to be working for me. I feel like I'm a real AA member again not just an honorary member. Thank God for AA and thanks for letting me share.


Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: 5/20/2002
Time: 6:04:05 PM

Comments

Hi, Bill here, Alcoholic from Arizona. I just do a few things to stay stopped. I use the Third Step prayer every morning. Simple and to the point. "God, I offer myself to thee....".

In "Working With Others" Page 89 "Alcoholics Anonymous". It tells me that intensive work with other alcoholics will insure immunity from drinking. And I do that.

I make meetings regularly and am in service. I stay current on the Steps.

But I think the real key to all of this was the psychic change. The evening I returned to AA, a kind oldtimer got me aside and told me I was sick. Told me that you all were going to get me well. That all I had to do was change the way I thought about alcohol. And you guys were going to show me how to do that. I didn't realize until many years later that he was talking about the psychic change that is mentioned in "The Doctor's Opinion". I did indeed have that.

I have a copy of Bill Silkworth's (The Doctor's Opinion), 1947 Grapevine article on "Slips and Human Nature". It is good reading and takes the mystery out of why some go back out. I will email it to you on request. Thanks for being a part of my sobriety today.

Bill

az-bill@mindspring.com


Member: AnilG
Location: Mt Vernon,IL
Date: 5/20/2002
Time: 6:29:57 PM

Comments

I am an alcoholic I stay stopped will be to continue to attend all AA meetings meet my sponsor on regular basis and read the Big Book so very often, ongoing fellowship of AA. 3 f's faith in god. fellowship of AA, and support of family and friends. thanks to aa.


Member: geoff c
Location: Bournemouth,England
Date: 5/20/2002
Time: 6:39:32 PM

Comments

Hi. My name's Geoff and I'm an alcohol. I'm told there's a meeting in Scotland, where at the top table they have a picture of Bill W on one side in a frame. A picture of Doctor Bob on the other side of the table. In the middle of the table they have a picture frame with no photo in it. Why would they do this? Well, they're waiting to put in a photo of the first alcohlic who comes back and says they had a really great time during their last drunk. The frame's been empty for the last twenty years! This tells me that getting drunk is no fun and will only lead to a slow and painfully death. But despite knowing that if I don't work my new solution I will take another drink. My drinking was about believing I knew everything. So, I showed myself I was ready to change by asking someone to sponsor me. I practiced a little humility by follwing his suggestions. I did the others when it got too painful not to!I found a home group which I attend everyweek. I was able to tell them how I felt and they showed me fellowship by listening and helping me.I needed this 'cos the early days weren't easy.

And now, each day I admit I'm powerless over alcohol by praying to God as I understand him. Reading the big book, going to a meeting, helping another alcohlic. I've never lived so good as I do today. And that's thanks to you and me trying to work the 12 steps as best I can. I believe AA is saying we can all have this new life or the alternative is trying to get my photo in that frame in Scotland. Those who try end up dead. Living sober is more attractive to me. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: sue b
Location: england
Date: 5/20/2002
Time: 6:53:00 PM

Comments

hi kim, thanks for your e mail. i would like to chat to u but i cant seem to get your address coming up, so i though i would give u mine and perhaps u could mail me its bellend101@hotmail.com

love sue b


Member: Adam H.
Location: Nagano, JAPAN
Date: 5/20/2002
Time: 7:56:54 PM

Comments

Adam, alcoholic.

I loved Geoff's comment! It made me think about the folks in AA that my sponsor refers to as "scouts." "Scouts" are the AA members who go back to drinking and eventually (if they are lucky) they make it back to a meeting reporting about what it's like out there...AND THEY NEVER TELL A HAPPY STORY.

I'm never happy when I hear that a sober alcoholic ets drunk again, but I get a good shot of humility when these scouts do the research for me. So the moral of that story is: "Alcoholics who don't go to meetings don't get to hear abouut what actually happens to alcoholics who don't go to meetings."

Grateful to be sober today.


Member: PJ
Location: Florida
Date: 5/20/2002
Time: 8:54:18 PM

Comments

PJ here, alcoholic. Thanks to everyone who has shared their ES&H! I've been able to "stay stopped" by keeping it simple-for me that means doing the things that were "suggested" to me in the beginning: hit the floor on my knees every morning asking my HP to help keep me sober this 24 hours & again at night to say "thank you" for keeping me sober today. I go to meetings & talk to other alcoholics. I try to practice the steps in my daily life. All of the so-called simple things help to remind this alcoholic that my sobriety has to come first in my life. The shares of those who have relapsed or struggling to become sober also help me "stay stopped". I never want to forget where I came from and where I can still go if my sobriety isn't my number one priority. For all of those still suffering from the disease, please keep coming back until the miracle happens for you! Thanks for letting me share :)


Member: SB
Location: Caribbean
Date: 5/20/2002
Time: 10:39:00 PM

Comments

Hello

WOW, what a topic, since I relapsed 39 days ago...I have had 10 years in and out of the program and for anyone just wondering? It is better in...My brother had 17 years and relapsed in Jan 2001. That blew my mind. He was so stable. Of course when I slipped... My disease took over my thinking process and decided "I was different". I am not. Everyone wanted to know what HORRIBLE THING HAD HAPPENED THAT MADE ME DRINK. Nothing happened, I got comfortable and thought I could do it again.

Thanks for letting me share, I live on a tiny island in the Caribbean and we have no meetings, fortunately for me, I just went to the states and went to lots of meetings and feel good again.

rgssuzi@hotmail.com


Member: Pam J
Location: Milwaukee,WI
Date: 5/20/2002
Time: 11:42:24 PM

Comments

My name is Pam and I am an alcoholic. This was a really good topic for me also. I am just back from a relapse also and the one thing that I do know now is that I have to listen to my sponser and not think that I know more than she does because obviously I don't. Also when I get that urge to use to pick up the phone BEFORE not after that drink. Attending the whole meeting and not just showing up and leaving at the breaks is also a must for me. Well thanks for being out there and sharing because I really needed a meeting today as I am only 2 days sober and coulden't get to a meeting because of where I am at today.


Member: Jeff
Location: Ne
Date: 5/21/2002
Time: 2:27:07 AM

Comments

Good thoughts! Since i have started coming to this site, i have read alot about relapse from others & i too have wondered "Why" they fell back to the "Old" ways. I have not went back since i first sobered up. {3-10-89} I have had times when i thought that a drink would help me to figure out my problems. What has stopped me from taking that 1st drink ? A higher power of my understanding ! This is the bottom line we must have this or we will never stop or stay stopped. To some of you i`m sure this sounds too cut & dryed but AA is simple for me it has to be or i`d of never made it this far, keep it simple, don`t drink go to meetings & read the big book. Thanks...


Member: ChuckM
Location: Alberta
Date: 5/21/2002
Time: 2:51:18 AM

Comments

I'm Chuck, an alcoholic

On page 35, Big Book it explains slips. "All went well for a time, but he failed to enlarge his spiritual life".

Step 12 says "having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps,----"

By doing the steps as found in the big book I now live step 11, which is the purpose of the 12 step program.It tells me what to do all through the day.

I will guarantee that everyone who slips, or has trouble living has missed the point in step 1 that we have a mental problem. Unless our thinking and our beliefs are changed we remain in danger.

The steps are new beliefs which I thought I had gained. Later, I discovered it was only lip service until I went back to step 1 and finally saw that wrong thinking was why I took the 1st drink. My wrong ideas caused my life to be unmanageable(miserable, not happy, joyous and free). I quit fighting the steps and progressed to where I have

Peace and Serenity


Member: sandyc
Location: scotland
Date: 5/21/2002
Time: 6:05:32 AM

Comments

((AnneS)) I have stopped worrying about whether I can or will believe in God and my Higher Power is the fallback one of my AA group. You can just ‘cheat’ and act as if you did believe. It must be great for those people who have found faith and so much easier as well but if I can stay sober while waiting for that ‘spiritual awakening’ I figure anyone can. ((SueB)) Not everyone in AA is perfect but it would be a bad idea just to give up because of that. You’ll get plenty of support here.

sandy@bob-dylan.demon.co.uk


Member: Shirley T
Location: Auckland New Zealand
Date: 5/21/2002
Time: 6:48:27 AM

Comments

Greetings to all from 'down under'. I'm Shirley and an alcoholic. Good topic because it's always there. I keep it simple and trust God. Complacency an ever present danger to us all. There is an old guy around here who always says 'he who stays grateful stays sober' I listen to those who have been out there doing research and not one has ever told me it got better. They have mostly been members who have eased up or given up on meetings. So, I practice these principles in my daily life, have a sponser and sponser others, attend AA regularly and help newcomers as they remind me where I came from twenty years ago. At that time I didn't even have a desire to stop drinking, but it came. I love this journey we travel in sobriety and the sense of belonging in this world wide family.


Member: Linda C.
Location: Winnipeg
Date: 5/21/2002
Time: 10:08:40 AM

Comments

Hi everyone. My name is Linda and I am an alcoholic. How we stay stopped. When I first came into AA I was desperate and was willing to do ANYTHING to stay sober. In the morning I would ask my HP to keep me sober and at night I would thank him. It was suggested that I say the Step 3 prayer(found on page 63 of the big book)"God,I offer myself to Thee-to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!" Amen. I said this prayer every day and still do. For meditation I was referred to pages 86 to 89. These pages in the big book show me EXACTLY what to do in the morning and at night. I also read the second para. on page 449 of the big book. "And acceptance is the answer to ALL my problems today.....

I also attend at least 3 meetings a week and as of lately have been sharing on staying cyber. I do service work for AA - this helps me to give back what was so freely given me and keeps me out of myself. "I am Responsible...when anyone, anywhere, Reaches out for help, I want the hand of A.A. always to be there. And for that: I am responsible."


Member: Joe P.
Location: Chicago
Date: 5/21/2002
Time: 11:14:47 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Joe, I'm an alcoholic. How do I stay stopped? First, it is not I, it is we. And as Les states above, we practice the principles contained in the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.

How do we do that? What keeps me a part of the "we"? I do the things I was told to do from the beginning. I ask God (on my knees) to not let me drink each morning, and thank Him at night if I did not drink. Have a quiet time every morning. Read from the Big Book daily. Call my sonsor daily. Make regular AA meetings, especially f2f step meetings, on a regular basis. These things keep me in the "We" of the program and focussed on working the 12 steps in all of my life.

Simple? Yes, though I can comlicate it. Easy? Not necessarily. But I haven't had a drink or even wanted a drink today. Thanks for all the comments.

Joe


Member: FrankD
Location: NJ
Date: 5/21/2002
Time: 11:36:12 AM

Comments

SueB- The very least thing that should be said is keep coming back! You cannot fail until you stop trying.

AnneS- Welcome! Glad you could say it here!

If you post your questions on the "coffee pot" portion of this site you will find that many more people will answer your questions.

Frank


Member: Liz B
Location: London
Date: 5/21/2002
Time: 12:09:12 PM

Comments

hi everyone great to read all your thoughts on staying sober. In the early days the best advise i got was to keep my mouth shut and listen! I had to go through a grieving process for my love affair with booze until it started to get better. I was given hope at my early meetings and told yo keep coming back. Thank God that i did. My recovery is as progressive as my disease but a much better journey!! Long live AA


Member: Mike T
Location: RHODE ISLAND
Date: 5/21/2002
Time: 2:44:31 PM

Comments

Mike an alcoholic, Good topic Bruce. I'm also just coming back after over 8 years. I now know how I set my self up to drink AND drug. I moved home and stopped going to meetings and started running into old friends in old places. I went to about seven or eight meetings a week for the first 8 years. Surrounded myself with AA friends and was not in contact with any of my so called old friends. When I moved home from VA I didn't get involved with an AA group (nor did I in VA really)When I was going to all the meetings in VA I still just showed up. I had many temporary sponsors, never really join a group and never got very active with a group. I must of heard "How it Works" 5000 times and just the other day AT a meeting it was like I got hit with a brick. "THAT's how it works". I'm trying this time. Just over a month back and I've joined a group and even asked if they had any thing scheduled (going to another group to speak) and low and behold they did and I'm going this Friday. (just to listen). I also ran into an uncle with some years in the program who TOLD me he'd be my sponser.

I didn't loose any material things but I sure had all the sick, lonely feelings back. I was just dabbling with the drink but the last six months was crazy with pain killers.

I feel much better in only 5 weeks. I have been going to a lot of meetings too.

I know I need to work the 12 steps to stay here. Why is it so hard to get this simple program?

This cyber site is great. Thanks for sharing everyone.


Member: JL
Location: The Beach
Date: 5/21/2002
Time: 7:11:52 PM

Comments

Welcome Anne. My name is Jeff and I am an alcoholic. Staying Stopped. That is the question! To answer with another question, did the person who couldn't stay stopped, stop going to meetings? It seems time and time again we slow down on our meetings. This is where we meet with other alcoholics that need help. There is nothing like working with a newcomer that will help us stay sober. What I do is try to go to meetings as often as possible, talk with my sponsor, practice the principles, read the book, check in on-line, write and read in my journal, work with others, and pray like there is no tomorrow. Because in reality there is no tomorrow all I have is today. I am in the terrible twos, I am getting a bit complacent, so what I do is get back to the basics. I must remember not to forget. I am powerless, there is no human defense against the first drink, I know the obsession of the alcoholic mind and the craving that sets in after the first drink. I cannot have that first drink. Reading the Doctor's Opinion and the first three chapters in the book over and over again have saved me from not staying stopped. One of my favorite lines is:

"As I crossed the threshold of the dining room, the thought came to mind that it would be nice to have a couple of cocktails with dinner. That was all. Nothing more."

We all know what happened to Fred after that. If not, re-read the Chapter "More About Alcoholism".

The chapter ends with "Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power. "


Member: Lessa E
Location: Chicago
Date: 5/21/2002
Time: 7:31:51 PM

Comments

Lessa E here, grateful recovering alcoholic. Thanks for a great topic Bruce! And thanks very much for the shares....I've gotten alot out of them.

I'm back a couple years now after several relapses. What's different? * Using an HP I cannot control and surrendering EVERYTHING to Him. (The first time 'sober' I used diet and exercise as an HP, the second time I used work. Easy to get lost in but, when things got tough, there was no amount of exercise or any amount of work *I* could do to quiet those internal voices. Only booze could do that.) * I work with a sponsor, CLOSELY. The first program I used to get sober was kinder and gentler and didn't demand a sponsor. The second time 'sober' my very wise and wonderful sponsor moved and her replacement didn't work out. So I just worked the program on my own. * I go to 4-6 meetings a week. Before, my meetings dwindled as I got busier and busier. And, besides, I thought, I would never, EVER touch booze again. * I keep in touch with other alcoholics - I turn to them first for advice quite often because they know just how squirrely my thinking gets. I realize today it's a *WE* program. * I reach out to those still suffering. I thought for sure when I came back this time that my purpose for being allowed to come back was to be a bad example for others of just how bad a relapse can get (extreme alcoholic self pity in that one.) Today, because I well understand the phenomenom of relapse - and how easy it is to get in that bad frame of thinking that can lead to it - I can relate to those who do go back out there. * And, as many others have mentioned, I'm trying on a daily basis to practice the principles in all of my affairs.

I thank God that I got another chance to come back. And I thank you all for being her for me and for letting me share.


Member: Sarah
Location: NW USA
Date: 5/22/2002
Time: 2:20:03 AM

Comments

The A.A. bithday coin I have ... on one side it has the serenity prayer and on the other side it has the triangle of unity, service and recovery and "To thine own self be true". My name is Sarah and I am an alcoholic. An alcoholic retread ... some years sober, some years drunk. My disease was like a mobile, I thought I was 'in balance' but 'became unbalanced' and drank again. "To thine own self be true" ... I need the Steps and Traditions, the Experience, Strength and Hope shared, and a "Healing Power" helping me understand on a daily basis I am an alcoholic who's first priority is to stay sober. Thanks, one and all, Thanks "Healing Power" for the help to stay sober today.


Member: Jerry C.
Location: Ft Myers, Florida
Date: 5/22/2002
Time: 4:54:09 AM

Comments

My name is Jerry, I am an alcoholic. Great topic. A note for Karen H. & anyone suffering with our illness, "never give up", never-never-never give up. It will work, this could be your miracle time. Write down your sobriety date and refuse to trade it in no matter what! That date is yours ...F0REVER. I was blessed to find my way here when I was down and out on Sept. 2000. I had relapsed after 32 years, and found two guys, AZ-Bill from AZ & KWDuke from Key West. My last drink was Sept. 24, 2000. This past year I got the chance to give KWDuke a big hug and share a meeting with him in Key West. I hope to meet AZ-Bill somewhere down the road. I got real active in a home group. I help set up, I am a greeter, I bring cookies, I make coffee, I am the grapevine rep., I am asst. GSR, when my group makes a commitment to detox or other places, I go with them, I am there, I get the help I need. I offer help to others. I am not alone anymore.


Member: Kim D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: 5/22/2002
Time: 12:10:32 PM

Comments

Hi everyone, my name is Kim and I am an alcoholic. Great topic Bruce: "How do we stay stopped." That eluded me for 14 years "around" AA. Couldn't STAY stopped for more than 18 months...

This time around I'm willing to put ACTION behind my sobriety. Before, I was trying to get it through osmosis. Take it from me, it doesn't work!

Each morning I get on my knees and pray to a HP to help me stay sober that day and to have the willingness to do His Will. As my day continues, I make sure I am in contact with at least 1 other recovering alcoholic, either by phone, on-line or at a meeting. I am honest today - with myself and others - and check my motives when anger or resentment rears it's ugly head. I apologize when necessary. I try to be of help to someone if they ask for it or need it. I am responsible to my children, my family and my friends. At the end of the day, I get on my knees and thank my HP for a day of sobriety.

On a weekly basis I attend a Women's Step Group; I am going trough the Steps with a Sponsor (or in my case, 2); and I try to attend my home group each week to remain "plugged in."

I did almost NONE of those things listed above prior to my sobriety date of 8/1/99. I never had a home group - never worked the steps - didn't see the importance of a HP in my life - and rarely picked up the phone and stayed "plugged in" to AA. The result - I was a chronic relapser for 14 years.

Thankfully, I had somewhat of a "spiritual awakening" and now am able to humble myself to ask for help and see the importance of maintaining my sobriety through the 12 Steps of Recovery.

Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Lewis S
Location: Down Under
Date: 5/22/2002
Time: 12:12:38 PM

Comments

Great topic. I always suspected AA was about staying Away from one drink one day at a time & being grateful, big ask, but possible. I was asked whether I picked up my first Drink Drunk, it took a week to work out I was sober before my first drink anytime I drank. Step 2 was showen me P45 Lack of power & in my case my sponcer pointed out COULD not Would restore sanity unless the 12 steps became my blue print for living. The result is evident I only ajusted my SD once my first 12mths I was on the marijuana maintenance program without a drink. I was also told not to look for God he"s Not lost just live the steps & I'll be found Thanks AA


Member: Greg N
Location: MI
Date: 5/22/2002
Time: 2:40:51 PM

Comments

The way I "stay stopped" is by considering my alternatives. I consider all that I have to LOSE if I do in fact pick up a drink and possibly harm myself or someone else, versus what I have to GAIN from picking up that same drink...I've concluded that it's simply not worth the risk of another DUI, or worse, for a temporary mind-numbing. I relax in other, more constuctive ways now and am much better off as a result. Thanks to my great sponsor and the rest of the old guys in the program that I can learn from.


Member: trish
Location: ind
Date: 5/22/2002
Time: 3:07:25 PM

Comments

as you read through everyones comments there are lots of different things you can do to help stay sobber and everyone needs to do that in there own way. what works for them may not work for someone else. but we all can appreciate ideas and opions. the thing to remeber (I think) is that there isnt a gurantee and take a day at a time be happy you didnt drink today and if something does happen you do know its possible to start another day sober again. because thats all it was is one day.


Member: Carrie K.
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Date: 5/22/2002
Time: 5:30:34 PM

Comments

Alcoholic, Carrie here. Thanks to all of you who have shared you E, S, H. So awesome to know that there are people out there who I can identify with, on a considerable basis at that! I realize, often, that after some time sober now, I've 'slacked off' on meetings, sponsor contact, BB reading, setting up and cleaning after meetings like I used to. What I realize today, is that I must get back into the fellowship of AA: meetings, sponsoring, etc., otherwise I too may relapse. I pray each day, I acknowledge I am an alcoholic, I cannot drink. I need to acknowledge to do His Will and go to meetings, contact my sponsor, volunteer at meetings, share, all those wonderful things that got me sober in the first place (12-2-90). I know, today I don't want to drink, I know that this moment I won't drink, but is that good enough for the rest of the day. God help me to remain sober for the rest of the day. I have faith I can turn His Way, and He will provide. Moment to moment, day to day. Thank you all for sharing beautifully today, and passing your message on to me.


Member: John
Location:
Date: 5/22/2002
Time: 5:56:38 PM

Comments


Member: John G.
Location: Walla Walla, WA
Date: 5/22/2002
Time: 6:06:51 PM

Comments

Hello, my name is John an alcoholic. I've been clean since December 26th 2001. It has been a very bumpy hard road for me these past few months. It's been hard for me to find fun in being sober. I've also been experiencing alot of stress from legal issues that I developed through my drinking and drugging years. It's becoming harder and harder to stay clean and sober, I need to just remember how bad it can get and that it will only get better if I don't take that first drink or that first hit. No matter how stressed out I get I need to keep working the steps and keep taking it one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time, and even one second at a time if I need to. Drinking just isn't worth all of the pain and suffering that comes a long with it. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Jim F
Location: Guilin, China
Date: 5/22/2002
Time: 6:33:07 PM

Comments

John, you said it all.

One of the oldtimers when I came in used to repeat, Keep talking and you will give yourself the answer.

It's still true. And by putting it into words the power is taken out of the urge.

Jim from Sequim


Member: Jack F.
Location: Kansas
Date: 5/22/2002
Time: 6:42:11 PM

Comments

hi im Jack Just read the introduction to the first and third editions of the big book. What a debt of gratitude we owe those that have gone berore us. My sobriety date is 08/16/81


Member: Linda C.
Location: Winnipeg
Date: 5/22/2002
Time: 8:11:12 PM

Comments

When I came into AA i didn't get my spiritual awakening until I did the twelve steps of recovery. I still continue to expand on my spiritual life as I practice the 12steps in my daily living,to the best of my ability,on each given day.


Member: Steve
Location: California
Date: 5/22/2002
Time: 9:42:46 PM

Comments

Hi, my name is Steve and I am an alcoholic. I know this but I don't think most of my friends, or even my ex-wife, would say I was an alcoholic. I don't get falling down drunk or out of control. I pretty much keep to myself and drink at home because it's safer that way. I survived two years of combat in Viet Nam. But I'm here because I do not have the courage to go to a meeting. So this is my first step. I acquired a copy of the Big Book some time ago. Last night after spending some time here, I went out to the garage and brought it out of storage. Today is not yet over but I believe I can get through the day without a drink. God bless.


Member: George J
Location: Metro Detroit
Date: 5/22/2002
Time: 10:56:12 PM

Comments

Hi, George, Alcoholic and all or nothing extrodinaire. How I stayed stopped has to take me back about four years. I just relapsed, but as in the past wimped out very quickly and am back after a few times out. For the past years I simply didn't really think about the booze, but I let a little toke here turn into the weekends, into everyday, ran outta grass and still wanted something to cope. Although thats my excuse, it was the self examination of who I am, where I am in life, and the dissatisfaction of not liking my progress that brought me back to the bottle. past hsitory just keeps repeating itself :-(


Member: Deb
Location: Canada
Date: 5/23/2002
Time: 1:44:51 AM

Comments

Thank you all for sharing, and helping me stay sober. I am 7 whole days sober! So far, coming online at the end of my day and reading your stories is my A.A. meeting for the day. I have a notebook, and every time I read something that strikes home, I write it down. I ask for God's help to stay sober today, every morning when I get up. I read my expanding notebook of 'tips for the day', and a few minutes reading the Big Book. Then I go about my day, put one foot in front of the other, do what's in front of me, and stay away from that first drink. If I have any thoughts of drinking, I stop and remember how I felt all the time when I was drinking (not good...constant sense of impending doom, fear that my poor abused liver was beyond getting better, unable to function or be there for my kids after 5 pm, not remembering more than I remembered and the constant stress of working to cover it up, etc...) and revel in how good I am feeling right now. I stay busy, and come back online at the end of the day to suck up a bit more wisdom from you guys. Then I say a huge thank you before I go to bed. I am so grateful for my sobriety today, and I try not to think about tomorrow's sobriety until tomorrow. Thank you all for your help.


Member: Sharon M
Location:
Date: 5/23/2002
Time: 10:05:04 AM

Comments

Hi my name is Sharon and I'am and alcoholic. Twenty years in the program and a few years ago stopped going to meeting, drifted away from my sponsor. The crazy thinking retuned anger resentments, not getting along with people I was a mess. Started to sneek a drink every once in a while. Playing mind games with my self.I always was closet drinker so the pattern was begining. Working up to to the lost weekend the binge. Thanks to my HP the pain of dishonesty,fear of the binge and all that comes with it got me back on my knees. Still fear shame and pride kept me from going to a meeting. I carried on like that for about a month the anger, resentments,fear shame, depression and broken relationships still there. I finally went to an AA chat room. Guess what they said ,"get to a meeting".This monday I went to a meeting and have gone everyday this week. First step table to make sure remember I'm powerless over alcohol and I'am and alcoholic.The weight is off my back I again can see hope and a way out of the mess I made of my life by thinking I did not need the meetings.I'm so grateful for the tables being there for the people at the tables and the program that works , but only if I work it.I'm willing and commited to working the steps so I can get back to the life the promises say is still there for me if I'm willing to work the step and practice the steps in all areas of my life.Grateful and trying to get sane again.


Member: Angela
Location: NY
Date: 5/23/2002
Time: 10:57:29 AM

Comments

To Steve in CA - please find the courage to go to a meeting. Sobriety is much too difficult to acheieve in an isolated environment. Reading these posts are great reminders and thought-provoking, but being in a room full of peers can't be beat. Everyone is frightened of the first meeting; but everyone at the meeting knows that and will welcome you right away. It will make your journey so much easier!! Good luck.


Member: Chris B.
Location: Alvarado, TX
Date: 5/23/2002
Time: 11:50:10 AM

Comments

I don't know how to stay stoppede...today is my first day sober and I'm a little afraid. I had 7 months sober until I relapsed in April; since then I have been on a long binge. I know I need to stop drinking-esp.since I have hepatitis C. Guess I need to find a meeting in Cleburne and go today.Thanx. Chris B.


Member: peacock h.
Location: nf.canada
Date: 5/23/2002
Time: 12:51:36 PM

Comments

peacockhorny@hotmail.com


Member: Chris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: 5/23/2002
Time: 6:05:24 PM

Comments

I'm chris-- I'm an alcoholic/adict/bulimic---All I can say about relapse is that I went to my first ftof meeting in about 4yrs.( been to a few during that time but not enough to do any good), and boy what a differece it has already made in my sobriety. I haven't had to take a drink,but I sure had come a long way from true sobriety with my food addiction( I know we are only supposed to talk about alcohol---but I needed to be honest --) So I guess you could say I have bene in a periond of relapse. THere I said it. Inever got as far down the path as I was when I came into the rooms , but that is just a rationalization---I wasn't truley sober. I had several times fooled around with pills....and agoin, I never got as far down as I was when I came into the rooms, but again that is a rationalization. I don't want to admit this because I will have to tell my sponsor and my spiritual advisor( she will blast me), but that is the beautiful cleansing part of the 12 steps. I know it works, because I've done it before. THe serinity I gained by going to the fto f meeting was truley remarkable...I had forgotten how good I could feel. Thanks to this program, I am looking forward to a many more days of this serenity.


Member: Jim W.
Location: New Mexico
Date: 5/23/2002
Time: 9:05:23 PM

Comments

Hi all. My name is Jim and I'm an alcoholic. I picked up my 14 year chip this Tuesday 5/21. I keep one foot in front of a drink by utilizing the tools given to me in this program. First, I admitted powerlessness, then I cleaned house, and finally I work with others. I ask God in my daily meditation to keep me sober one more day and thank Him at night for doing that.

I read the other day, that in my night time prayers I should be grateful for something new everyday. You know I've done that for awhile now and I was surprised how much gratitude I have been feeling.

I too, have lost good friends in this program from relapse and then death. I was told in the beginning the further I am away from my last drink the closer I am to my next one. Thank God, I don't ever forget my last one. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: mike r
Location: florida
Date: 5/23/2002
Time: 11:33:39 PM

Comments

My name is Mike and i know I'm an alcoholic. I came here because i want to stop. It feels so good to just be with others that are like me. I am going to try and find a meeting to go to. Till then i will come back here. I can't keep drinking like I have.


Member: melissa r.
Location: ohio
Date: 5/24/2002
Time: 11:56:15 AM

Comments

hi all, melissa, alcoholic, great subject. i stay sober by constantly talking to my HP. sometimes you feel like you can't hear Him answer you or feel Him lead you in the right direction. I had trouble with relapse and realized I wasn't picking up the phone. How simple is that? Now if I even have a fleeting thought of alcohol, I call everyone......I make my presence known with anyone who will listen until the feeling goes away. And it goes away, everytime, just like the Big Book promises. To those who are still drinking and/or those just back from a relapse....we love you, we care about you, we want you to be well. come back and stay. wait for the miracle, it's a guarantee.


Member: Charlie Darling
Location: Fort Myers, FL
Date: 5/24/2002
Time: 1:01:18 PM

Comments

Hi Family Charlie Darling a very gratful recovering alcholic. This is a great topic, as I found out early in my sobriety was to have gratitude in my life for everything that happens weather good or bad. I believe that God wants me to stay sober and that the gratituede, and the power of prayer helps me each day. For I left Key West on the 30th of April and went through a week of hell, but through it all I kept gratitude, for I believe my HP wanted me to go through all to see if I would pick up, and a couple of times the desire was there but I didn,t want it if that makes any sense. But today i am So Gratful for the program of AA and pray each day I stay sober, but one never knows what will happen, and if I don't pick up a drink I can accomplish anything that comes my way. Thank you my family for always being here. I Love you all. Charlie kwduke_1999@yahoo.com


Member: Dry in the Desert
Location: Nevada
Date: 5/24/2002
Time: 1:50:15 PM

Comments

Good Morning Everyone, My name is Walter and I am an Alcoholic!

Staying Stopped! Great topic!! I am one of those fortunate enough to have not had a need to go out since day one (plus 13 years). Each day is a reminder of God’s miracle.

At my first meeting I was a real shambles, DT’s, yellow, scared;……One old fellow looked at me and said “Son, YOUR party is OVER!!” (That made sense…) At my next meeting I heard another old timer say that this was a program of LIFE and how to LIVE LIFE!! (That made sense also). After a month of nonstop meetings and living with my father, I realized that if I were to return to a useful, content and productive life, “out there”; I would have to use the spiritual tools of AA. Keep it simple they said: So, a short prayer in the morning (God, Thank You for my beautiful life of sobriety; Please let me see Your guidance today),then meet the world with: Gratitude, Meetings, Service, Sponsor/Be sponsored and HALT at rough spots.

Today, I am not only sober in the physical sense, but in the mental and spiritual senses also. Never could have imagined the life I have.

Welcome to all the newcomers! May you see your miracle soon.


Member: Gayle P.
Location: New Mexico
Date: 5/24/2002
Time: 2:06:09 PM

Comments

Hi, Gayle, grateful recovering alcoholic here. What a great topic. By the grace of God (my higher Power) I have been able to stay sober over 25 years. How? There are many componants that go into it. One is faith in my Higher Power and in this wonderful program. I was told early on if I forget my last drunk, I probably haven't had it yet. I remember like it was yesterday, not to beat myself up with but as education as to where I don't want to live. Meetings, sharing the message, living one day at a time, practice these principles in all my affairs, talking to others in recovery, the attitude of gratitude and learning from those who have not been able to stay sober. I've learned that no one "slips" but fails to "buy" insurance by becoming teachable. A relapse doesn't start with the drink it starts long before the drink is picked up. When I was able to realize there was a God and it wasn't me I was able to learn to follow the directions of the program. In the beginnin it was by not drinking "right now" that I was able to get a few 24 hours together. If I forget where I come from I may go back. Bless all newcomers for reminding me of this. For those of you who have relapsed, keep hanging in here and find meetings, meetings. There are only two times to go to a meeting. When you don't want to and when you do. God bless. Gayle


Member: Carolyn S.
Location: Pacific N. W.
Date: 5/24/2002
Time: 4:05:20 PM

Comments

Willingness and acceptence started me on my journey, May 21,2001, I just celebrated one year and I have been overwhelmed by the kindness of the people in this program. I have simply done what is suggested and have learned to ask for help. What a concept! Today I do not feel alone and look forward to what will come next as long as I do my part. I was a maintenence drinker and heard a longtime member say that she needed a maintence program, that made sense to me, she is now my sponsor. Today I believe there are no coincidences, wonderful people have been placed in my life. That is the gift of AA, today I can appreciate a gift when it is given. This is my first time sharing here thankyou for this opportunity. Carolyn S.


Member: Mari S
Location: Indiana
Date: 5/24/2002
Time: 10:31:19 PM

Comments

I have found that when I "came ALL the way in and sat ALL the way down", that I stayed sober for that day and felt better.

I try to do that today and every day. It has resulted in feeling a 'part of' AA, and in continuous sobriety for awhile now.

To the newcomers and the returners and the keep-onners, please please keep coming back. We need each other.


Member: Inez R
Location: Gainesville, GA
Date: 5/25/2002
Time: 12:42:15 AM

Comments

Hi I'm Inez and I'm an alcoholic. For me it's...meetings, listening, PRAYING, and the Big thing for me is Service Work. Somehow I ended up on the answering service of my home group....didn't really want it, but God knew I needed it. Helping other's by just give them directions to a meeting or just listening to them dump...has kept me straight. Anything I can do...if it's only a smile and a handshake to the newcommer...does me more good that the one I'm trying to share with. I'm off the answering serv. now, I'm in the process of moving to Atlanta....I'll miss that....but I'm looking foreward to a few new groups, new friends, meetings, and service. This is the only organization in the world where you can walk into a room a stranger....and have a handful of numbers when you leave. It's kept this drunk sane and sober....And of course: my sponcer, the steps, & Big Book. God Bless you all......anyone here in Atlanta give me some pointers please.


Member: Debbie T
Location: Jvl ,Wi.
Date: 5/25/2002
Time: 2:19:35 AM

Comments

Hi,I'm Debbie- alcoholic.I was told, the 1st. night of treatment,NEVER EVER FORGET MY LAST DRUNK! PLAY THE TAPE ALL THE WAY THROUGH(when I first heard that one, Iwanted to Know where I was suppose to buy that tape?) I was a wreck.Buy the grace of GOD, I've made it through,the death of a sponsor and 6 friends,the relapse of my best friend,my son's assult and his contenplated suicide,and the list goes on. In 6+yrs. I've found I want to stay sober more than I want to drink,thats the bottom line! If I fallow the sugestions(I dond't have to like them)If do what I'm told,I'll stay stopped. W,H,S Thank you.


Member: anonymous alcoholic
Location: 2689 Ridgecrest Drive
Date: 5/25/2002
Time: 3:35:45 AM

Comments

Bruce, thanks for the topic. I had to go back and reread the topic because I thought you asked how do "I" stay stopped. Nope, how do "WE" stay stopped. We do it by coming together. Either in person, on the phone, speaker tapes, Grapevine, thru email, posting on sites like this. Somehow, we get together and learn from each other. So, it's not exactly SELF-knowledge, but it is knowledge about the self, thru others. In my opinion that is what happened June 10, 1935. Two guys who had been all wrapped up in themselves (and a drug called alcohol), started to share their experience, strength and hope. And the rest is history. Thanks.


Member: Valerie M.
Location: Canada
Date: 5/25/2002
Time: 12:19:28 PM

Comments

I remember my first AA meeting very, very well (as I'm sure most everyone does!) I was 29 and one of the older members said "You're very lucky to be coming into AA so young...remember, your first time sober is a gift.." That always stuck with me and I've never gone back, after 9 years. At times, I'd go to a meeting and listen to people and think "this isn't helping me..." and "I'm not helping anyone". Then, sometimes even a few days later, something someone said at the meeting would "click" and I'd "get it"! There's nothing like that sense of being understood. So, I say it's all of you I can thank for my staying stopped - at whatever stage of recovery you're at, I can relate. It's my inspiration to "keep a goin' ". Thanks.


Member: carolyn
Location: southeast usa
Date: 5/25/2002
Time: 9:47:55 PM

Comments

over the years have seen alot come and go - when the few make it back always ask why - never has anyone told me the reason was because they had gone to many meetings - spent to much time on their knees talking to HP - to much time with their sponser - to much time helping others - read the big book to often - when i got here was told this is a we deal - we keep me sober - alone with myself doing my oun thing will get me drunk - thank you for my life


Member: Mark C.
Location: NYC
Date: 5/26/2002
Time: 8:26:44 AM

Comments

Hi. I,m Mark, and alcoholic from NYC.

I stay stopped by reminding myself how crappy it is to drink, and how sure I am to end up drunk if I do take a drink. One of the ways I do this is reading online sites like this.

It also helps me to look at the world around me and notice that most people get through it sober. I also take note of the countless millions of former smokers who have successfully given up an addiction.

Mark C.


Member: Art N.
Location: Fort Morgan, Colorado
Date: 5/26/2002
Time: 9:36:17 AM

Comments

Hi everyone--my name's Art and am an alcoholic! The topic of "staying stopped" is a great and extremely important topic. Because of the concept of AA I was given early in my sobriety that was given to me by my first sponsor in Lake Jackson TX I have found that I do have the ability to use this program in all my affairs. That does not mean that things are always a rose garden. Some days that is so far from the truth it isn't funny. But what this has done for me has taken away the thought of alcohol totally when I am working on my living problems. This program is a complete package. When I DO it all which is going to meetings, tell others my secrets, work with others and become involved in my home group. Not to mention polishing up my relationship with God (not A God)then I receive the piece and calm that is promised. Yesterday our group received news of a person who had come off and on to meetings but could not stay sober had finally drank himself to death at the age of about 39. We hear about the car wrecks and the physical malidys that will kill us if we drink, but rarely do we hear of a person that literally drank himself to death. I have to remember that I could still do that to myself. This is one of the NOT YETS that I wish to only hear about. Thanks for the topic Brother!


Member: Stew E
Location: FL
Date: 5/26/2002
Time: 11:19:08 AM

Comments

I work the steps (and goo to the step meeting), read my 24 hr book every AM (while the iron is heating up) and most importanly....."never shut the door on the past".


Member: Phyllis P.
Location: Cairo, Egypt
Date: 5/26/2002
Time: 2:21:15 PM

Comments

Hi, Phyllis, here, alcoholic....Ditto to all that's been said about prayer, meetings, turning it over, etc. The thing my sponsor told me that has stayed with me and kept me sober since Jan 87 is "When you start to pick up that drink, think all the way through to the other side of that drink." If I ever consider putting alcohol into my system, I just think it through and know that after I get drunk, I'm just going to be miserable and hungover and God knows what else. I have never forgotten my last drunk and what a mess I was before I came into this program...this has kept me sober...


Member: Roderick H
Location: Vancouver Canada
Date: 5/26/2002
Time: 2:59:50 PM

Comments

Hi good morning. I'm Rod and I am an alcoholic. Seen as how I am the first one here this am...I thought for this week we would discuss Anonymity frompage 299 As Bill Sees It.

I find that when I first come into the program a my anonymity was based more on how much denial I was in at the time. Even though I had quit drinking and people close to me knew I quit sometimes I found myself guarding my anonymity very close because I was still ashamed about myself in a way.

I sometimes still get this feeling...but not as often. I do have a pet peeve though is when celebrities(stars of tv etc...scream that they are alcoholic and in a recovery program..I am not too sure why that is important to them..maybe they just don't understand the Tradition 11...

I am feeling goog today and so glad to be sober and contribute daily to others and to my AA group.

Thanks for allowing me to share...take another 24 as I will take 24 for myself.


Member: Harley H.
Location: Renton, Washington
Date: 5/26/2002
Time: 4:37:06 PM

Comments

Hello everybody, my name is Harley H. and I'm greatfully celebrating over 16 years of continuous sobriety. Sixteen years ago my counselor in outpatient treatment gave up on me as to having any real chance of recovery and wrote a letter to my probation officer stating that I had "zero percentage" chance of recovery. She was 100% wrong. As Bill W. wrote. "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path." I try to follow AA's path by attending a morning AA meeting every day at my home group, Sober Soupers, in Renton, WA. Also, I just don't drink regardless of what goes wrong (or right) in my day-by-day life!


Member: Jim F
Location: Guilin, China
Date: 5/26/2002
Time: 7:22:47 PM

Comments

Harley,

I love that story, so I will probably steal it: from Zero to Hero in AA. Zero % chance is a pretty good bottom. Oh well, just another AA miracle, I guess.

Jim from Sequim


Member: Yo
Location:
Date: 5/26/2002
Time: 8:08:25 PM

Comments

Anybody awake in yhere? This topic is a month old already! WAKE UP!!!


Member: yo
Location: unknown
Date: 5/26/2002
Time: 8:22:26 PM

Comments

TO YO GO take a slow SHIT and come back in a month


Member: yo
Location: unknown
Date: 5/26/2002
Time: 8:22:57 PM

Comments

TO YO GO take a slow SHIT and come back in a month