Member: Jeff H.
Location: New York
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 08:31:10
I would like to see a discussion on the topic of the second step. "Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"? It took me a while of doing the same things over and over and expecting different results.
Member: Ron S
Location: Belle River ON Canada
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 09:30:34
Hi i,m Ron and i,m alcoholic! I have always believed in a higher power. at first I thought that He was a punishing god and that I was going to Hell.I did not think that I was worth it.So the god of my understaning carried me.then in 1988 I went to a recovery home called Breentwood.they gave me tools of AA and god gave me a friend.I receaved the gift of surbriaty.I started to grow I was like a fourteen year old and I did the things that a kid would do four the next three years I grew up went to AA and had fellowship in my life.I relied mostly on four guy,s but slowly they whent back to drinking.We lost contact but God kept two of us together.Now Iwas still doing pritty good and I watch my friend dale strugly.Soon after I began to slip away from AA Ithen drank and had a very bad accident.God agian carried me through the pills drugs booz.In the next four years Me and my freind struggled.Then about a year ago my friend Dale was given the Gift agian and he began to carry me. With Gods help of course They wiated untill I was ready and then they really carried me.Last weekend they brought me to a retreat AA And I was Given the GIFT agian I am so lucky and gratful To AA Today! I have real Hope I have great people in my life. I have a responceablity to God to my groupe my sponcer To every person in AA To show How much I appresaite this GIFT that ny higher power has given me. I AM SO THANKFUL! No spell checker sorry hope this helps someone.
Member: Dan H.
Location: Cleveland
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 09:32:04
Hi, I'm Dan and I'm an alcoholic.
Four months ago I was a sneak drinker, who had been control drinking for eighteen years after being released from treatment. At the time of my hospitalization, Antabuse was the drug therapy of choice at treatment centers. It did keep me from drinking for the six months that I took it. I went to AA meetings as after care. The fact that I would have a nasty chemical reaction to alcohol made the steps of AA as they say "suggested". When I stopped going to meetings and quit taking Antabuse, what happened next was, in hindsight, easy to predict. I knew full well that I was powerless over alcohol. I also felt that if I controlled my drinking I could avoid the unmanagability part. After fifteen years of closet drinking and a deteriorating mental condition, I was ready to test the ability of the drop ceiling at work to support my weight. This January 18th I went back to AA and took another look at the steps. I had been an evangelical agnostic. I could only send up a prayer of surrender to an anonymous power greater than myself. Within minutes, I felt an overwhelming need to re-read the first three pages of Chapter 5 of the Big Book. I had in the past read and heard these words hundreds of times. This night I UNDERSTOOD them, actually felt them, for the first time. They seemed to jumped off the page. A humble and doubtful (yet hopeful) prayer from a non-believer had been answered. A God of my understanding had been contacted, and had responded with love and understanding. Since that night, I have had no desire to pick up a drink. I want to NOT drink. I found a sponsor, and begun to work the remaining steps. I know that with the help of my Higher Power, the guidance of my sponsor, and the fellowship and 12 steps of AA that this new life is just beginning. Thanks for a topic that means a lot to me.
Member: "Yawn" R.
Location: Auburn, CA
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 09:42:49
My name is "Yawn" and I'm an alcoholic-adicit. Great topic Jeff! It seems like I tried everything to overcome my addition problem. It wasn't until I fell flat on my face on 1/14/99 that I realized that there was nothing left to save my sorry ass. I finally through-up the white flag. There was absolutely nothing left to. I simply had no other choice, except death, prison or an institution. No thanks, I finally became so scared that the choice was obvious.
Thank you God. Thank you God.
Member: Avril G
Location: Driffield UK
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 10:13:41
Thanks for the Topic, Jeff, I didn't need this step - I was not insane.(LOL) The rest of the world was a bit 'Iffy', but apart from a drink problem, Avril was AOK (LOL) I struggled so hard with believing in a Higher Power Until someone got me to one side and pointed out a few things about how this step is worded:-) 1. Came to believe THAT - Not came to believe IN.
2. A Power greater then OURSELVES - If I could not handle this one, then I must think that I am God.
3. COULD restore us to sanity - NOT would - though he went on to say that God Could AND Would IF He were sought.
I Came to Believe very slowly, faltering every step of the way, and the same guy gave me the book CAME TO BELIEVE, and something in there gave me something I could hold on to. It said I know I do not understand God, but I also know I don't HAVE to understand Him, because He understands ME. I also heard G-O-D works through people, especially a Group Of Drunks. (G-O-D = Group of Drunks) I held onto this until my perception changed, though having said that, I'm not entirely sure my perception of God HAS changed. I do not view MY God as religious. He does still work through people, and also I believe, through events and happenings, which seem to come along just when I need something. (A coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous) I DO pray and meditate on a twice-daily basis, to something I still do not fully understand, but which I no longer analyse (Analysis = Paralysis) I learned that through my own experience, which led me to another bender. The same guy (I called him the Godfather - He passed on a few years ago, still sober) Took me out in his car one night and parked up in a lovely place and told me to get out of the car and look up at the sky. It was a very starry night, and he asked "What do you see up in the sky?" I said, "Nothing" He asked again, and then pointed out that the sky was full of stars, and there was a full moon. I said, "Oh, yeah, I see that!" His reply was, "And did YOU put them up there in the sky?" When I replied, "No, stupid!" He said, in the broadest Bransley (Yorkshire) accent ever, "Well, neethur did I, lass, so whoivver did purrem up theer must be an 'ell orra lot moor powerful then eether me or Thee!!" This guy still lives on in my life today, and he is still often quoted at f2f meetings. So next time you are out, take a look upwards, and ask yourself "Who did put this there?" I know it weren't me. God Bless Avril G P.S. That philosophy has kept this alkie sober for almost nine years (By the Grace of God)
Member: Melissa
Location: Atlanta
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 10:48:17
Great topic, thanks. Avril, thanks so much for saring. I have the same problem of not seeing God as a religious thing. I was raised Mormon ( yes, an ex-Mormon drunk lol) and it left a bitter taste in my mouth for organized religion. The fact the AA stresses "A GOD OF YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING" is what kept me from running out the door when I firsted walked in three weeks ago. I will have to find that book "came to believe" that you spoke of, it sounds as if it might help me. I do believe in a Higher Power, I just have a hard time believing that he has time to spend on me. Silly, huh? I forget to ask for his guidance. I need to work on that. Without me asking him daily for love and guidance, I will not keep my sobriety. Thank you all so much for this topic, I really needed it.
Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 11:13:02
after years and years of drinking,ending up,drinking every day and knowing i was slipping away to some bad place the alcohol was taking me,i got arrested,again,for d.u.i.with my job on the line,where i live in jeapody,and my girlfreind simpley leaving me.i went to a meeting and got a b.b.copy,iread it cover to cover and started asking for help as i read it,or in between my reading of it.i went to meetings to back-up what i"ve read,i started hearing the book through other people.the lords prayer at the end of the meeting seemed to remove some anxietys,istarted understanding that a GOD was doing for me what i could not do for myself,all i did was get curious and see if it could happen to me,i ask for help in the morning,say thankyou in the evening.a power greater than myself,entered me ,lets me keep my head up high and enjoy life,not bury myself with booze .all i do is truly mean it,when i ask for help each day.my name is tony,and i"m an alcoholic.......
Member: louis
Location: gatineau,quebec,canada
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 12:06:27
louis alkie. i'd rather believe in a H.P. and be happy then believe in noting and be in deep sh@#$@ where i was.let go let good.thanks
Member: louis
Location:
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 12:07:55
louis alkie,that's let go let GOD.sorry
Member: Chris T.
Location: Maryland
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 12:18:53
My name is Chris and I am powerless over people, places and things! I am also an alcholic! Good topic. All I know is that my higher power brought me to AA and AA brought me to my higher power. There will come a time in everyone's sobriety that will have to make choices as to take a drink or not take a drink. What I mean by that is.... there will come a time that the only thing between me and drink will be my higher power. It has happened several times in my sobriety and I am so glad I did make the right decisions, but it ultimately was a check to ensure that my program was intact. Without the tools of AA and what I have learned, I know I would have made the wrong decision and be right back to the same old thing. I hope this makes sense.
Member: Angela O.
Location: NJ
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 13:20:12
I have to remember in all of my affairs that I am powerless and only my H.P. can restore me to sanity. Especially when I am hurt by people in the program!!! H.P. relieved me of my obsession with alcohol (one day at a time) and can relieve me of the bondage of self will if I remain faithful that he is the almighty, and the only one who can keep me sober and sane. My best thinking got me here!
Member: Dawie G
Location: JHB, south africa
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 13:39:24
Well it's my first time here and hope u people can help me trouhg this with help from the Big Man upstairs. I am living in a world were in the mornings when i wake up I have to think how i got home and what trouble i've caused ,but cant remeber and i wish God can help me and i know he will , i just have to believe in him . I'm starting to loose my friends and feel to bad to go fisit them , feeling i have done the hole world harm.
Member: Dan H.
Location: Cleveland OH
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 14:05:26
Dan alcoholic here.
Hello, Dawie. Sounds like you have come to the right place. Most of us have at one time felt exactly the same way you just described. There is a phone number listed for AA in Orange Grove, SA. I don't know if this is near you. 27-11-452 -9907.
If this is not near JHB, look in your local phone book under alcoholics anonymous. Give them a call. Someone there will be able to help you immediately in a way that would be very difficult over the internet.
Please keep coming back. It works!
Member: Liz T.
Location: Long Beach, Ca.
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 14:52:06
Hi, my name is Liz, I'm an alcoholic, and very grateful to know that I am.
Good topic Jeff.. Step two was the hardest step for me...( it wasn't that i didn't believe in God...I just had a hard time owning my insanity, and until I did, I couldn't ask God to restore me to sanity.) such complex --- yet simple stuff - you must own something to give it away --- even to God he won't take something from you that you don't own... I love that the step says " Came to believe......and not came in believing....! Holy cow we are soooooo blessed to have such a powerful program available to us! Dan from Cleveland is an incredible example of how this thing works ...Thank you for being here and for taking the time to give Dawie that phone number...Good Luck Dawie..God Bless you and as Dan said please keep coming back.. we need each other...
May you always be surrounded with Love, Laughter, Light and Love..
Member: Kerrry F.
Location: Delaware
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 15:42:03
Hello,My name is Kerry F.and I am an alcoholic. Because I was spiritually void at the start of my recovery.Step two was one of the steps that I skipped over at first. My feelings at the time were that family,doctors and therapists were all unable to bring me out of a deep seated denyal.Because of this I went on to the third step and tryed something I had never tryed before and really had little belief or faith in...I asked God to intervene. The changes in my life were all but immediate and nothing short of miraculus.I likened my experianc to that of the one Bill Wilson describes in the Big Book.Step two had revealed itself to me.I could no longer deny that there was some greater being then ourselves.And I have had to go to that power on a number of occasions throughout my recovery.And I have never been let down,nor have I looked back.Those that use the second step as a stumbling block in working a 12 step program need only try the un tried and step out in faith that there is something out there.Whoever or whatever it might be is entirerly for them to decide.
Member: larry
Location: north dakota
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 15:51:44
larry alcoholic, dawie i know what youre saying. i sobered up almost a month,was going to meetings, then started drinking again. i am losing my wife, she has thrown me out. my friends dont want anything to do with me anymore, and even my children are sick of what ive become, although they say they still love me.i have got a sponsor and im going back to aa. if i dont stop i know i will lose my life, or go insane.i cant live with the physical and mental torture any longer. i went to gods house yestrday and got on my knees and asked him to relieve me of my drunkenness,only he can do it.thanks for listening
Member: Mickey C.
Location: Bakercity, Or.
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 15:59:32
My name is Mickey I'am an alcoholic. This is my first time sharing on the computer don't know what I'am doing,but I'am sober. Go to meetings, work the steps,help other people, and H.P. will take care of you. I pray that Dawie G. gets it. thanks for letting me share! Micket C.
Member: Mary G.
Location: Tennessee
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 16:05:04
Hi. I'm Mary and I'm Powerless over alcohol. I been back in the program (for the 3rd) time now for almost 3 months. It took my GOD (as I understand) him to get my attention. I was in an accident that totalled both cars involved because I "blacked" out. By the grace of GOD, I crawled out of the car; not even a scratch. And the other person I hit had only minor injuries. Some of use have to HIT bottom before we realize we are very sick. My God has already forgiven me when he died on the cross. Now my faith in him and prayer gives me guidance to make it just one day at a time. Its a lot harder to GET sober than to STAY sober and each time I've gone back out its always been worse. Keep going to meetings and pray to your God of your understanding. I want the miracle that I hear so many in AA talk about. The peace and serenity..........Thank God.
Member: Chief Crazybottle
Location: Florida
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 16:15:25
Chief Crazybottle, Alcoholic....The 2nd step works when I work it...It worked well for 17 years.....at about 12 years....I was so well that I stoped with my 24 hour a day book...and stopped asking for help....at 17 years I was drunk....I am now back asking God for help every morning & getting it....hope I don't forget again...that costs & it hurts...now have 22 days....tks for the topic. Chief
Member: richard m
Location: sarasota,fla
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 17:33:03
hello .my name is richard, richard m... iam an alcoholic !!!!! it is good to meet some of you along the way !!!!!today is # 4867 for me since my begining in this program.......each day is really a working of the steps .and practising the traditions ........at some point in the day i get to step two........(in a way tho its continue to believe( not trying to change anything LOL)........we know that something greater than me and us alone can deal with what we could not .....at this point i just had to believe and let thatpower take over
Member: Caroline P
Location: Austin , TX
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 17:57:10
Hi Everyone! "Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity" When I loose track of where I am in the steps, I go back down through the steps until I can see where I have forgotten a lesson or two. I come back to step two when I am doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. I realize I have started to take control of areas of my life, thinking I know what I am doing. It helps me to go back to step two, and remember the insanity of my drinking too, because that is where I believe I am headed if I dont really look and the insanity in my life. Why else would I ever consider "Turning my will and my life over to the CARE of God as I understood him?" If I have any problems with any of the steps, I dont hesitate to read the 12&12, because it talks about how different people did the same step.. I like that, because sometimes I need to read for a while to realize how I am really feeling. I also love the index in the front of "As Bill Sees It" because there are many readings on step two.....or came to believe or whatever. Sometimes the first four readings do nothing for me, but that fifth one was the one I was waiting for . I have always, always found an answer, if I really wanted one. Oh, the other helpful book is, of course: "Came to Believe" I recommend this for any newcommers. It has many short little stories from all types of people .. I like that saying "You Have to Surrender To Win" I like feeling like I am a winner, and I am!!! Thanks to my willingness, honesty and openmindedness. Blessings to All ONE DAY AT A TIME - Caroline
Member: Steve F.
Location: Wenham, MA, USA
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 18:09:11
Steve, alcoholic
Thanks for suggesting a topic near and dear to me, Jeff.
Like Dan H., I tried to control my drinking for a long time (12 years, without AA or any other help.) This was after 25 years of alcoholic binge drinking.
Dan's description of what control drinking did to him was a "deteriorating mental condition." For me, this was an understatement. I was going insane.
My higher power got me to AA two months ago, before my mind snapped completely. When I read step 2, I knew I was in the right place. I desperately wanted my sanity back, and I was quite ready to believe in anything that could restore it. Stopping drinking was of course necessary, but that really wasn't the point for me. My alcoholism was (and still is) very much a mental disease.
I pray to God every morning and every night now. I re-affirm Steps 1, 2 and 3 to Him, every morning. And I don't ask God for anything - except what it says in Step 11 - I ask only for the knowledge of His will for me, and the power to carry it out. At night, right before I go to sleep, I thank Him for keeping me away from a drink for that one day.
I have a long way to go, but I know I'm headed in the right direction. I know all the Steps are important, but Step 2 will always be the key for me.
Member: MITZI S.
Location: FORESTVILLE, CA.
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 19:09:47
MITZI, ALCOHOLIC
GREAT WEB SITE! WE ALL NEED AS MANY TOOLS AS POSSIBLE TO GET AND STAY SOBER. I AM 79 DAYS INTO MY SOBRIETY AND LIFE GETS BETTER ALL THE TIME. I HAVEN'T DEFINED MY HIGHER POWER; MAYBE NEVER WILL. ALL I KNOW IS I WASN'T DOING WELL AT ALL ON MY OWN POWER. MY PRAYERS GO OUT TO ALL OF YOU, ESPECIALLY YOU, DAWBIE.
Member: Patrick J
Location: Baton Rouge La.
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 21:04:57
I'm Patrick and I'm crossed addicated, and no I'm not addicated to crosses..."L" Finding a higher power was tough and I was rasied cathlic and always believed in my higher power......Witch I choose to call the devine....I found that church was not my place and felt nothing.....then I ran into wicca....Here I found my group and something worth while. I have now 2 months clean & sober and feel better ten I did when I had 2 yrs....Do as ya will as long as it harms none.....and there is your 10 commandmentds all in one.....Patrick
Member: Ben A
Location: virginia
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 21:14:16
Im Ben and I am an alcoholic. To say this proves I are insane and I must believe in G>O>D to be able daily to get a daily repreave Thanks
Member: Matt L.
Location: The Lake PA
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 22:38:10
Hi everyone, my name is Matt and I'm an alcoholic. Thanks for a great topic Jeff! If this isn't my favorite step, you can bet it's in the top dozen. For me, this was the step that took me. I COULDN'T take it. It was the greatest gift that God has given me. I can never forget that this belief is a gift, I either do or don't and there's nothin' much I can do about it. To keep it simple though, for those new to or struggling with this step or concept of a power greater than ourselves we need only look back to Step one. If I claim that I'm powerless over something than that is a power greater than me. I firmly believe that everything has an opposite, so if there is a power greater than me that can cause unmanagability in my life ther has to be one that can restore order. The Big Book says "Lack of power, that was are dillema." Step two IS the solution. Until I believed, I was powerless to proceed. I had to beleive in something other than me. Best of everything to all. Thanks for allowing me to share. God's the coolest! Matt
Member: Texas Girl
Location: Texas
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 23:00:28
Hi, I'm Texas Girl, alcoholic. Just got a computer last week, and was delighted to run across this site; have a great friend in the program in South Carolina who has been in an online meeting for years and loves it. Been sober 10-plus years, but have been feeling a bit whiny, irritated and yes insane lately, so as usual when you go to a meeting, you hear what you need. A perfect topic for me right now. I was so touched to read the comments from the newcomers, which gave me such a dose of gratitude, I forgot what I planned to whine about. Keep coming back, y'all; this program works. Reminds me where I was when I first got poured into this program--sick and tired of being sick and tired, and just miserable and clueless. I knew I was an alcoholic for a long time; but can you believe it resisted coming to AA because I didn't want anyone else to know. Ha. Guess what, they all knew anyway. I know that whatever problem I have can be made 100 times worse if I take a drink; and my HP let me know early on that I'm not interested in one drink--ten at least or what's the point? So by the grace of God and this program, I've not been tempted by that "first" drink, which is pointless anyway. Y'all have reminded me that my mind is a dangerous place to be alone, and reading your comments has made me feel a little bit more sane. Thanks for the perfect topic.
Member: Don F.
Location: NH
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 23:19:21
Jeff, thanks. I was discussing last week how when I first came in I pretty much had an intellectual appreciation of the other 11 steps, but regarding Step 2, I thought some of the rest of you guys were insane, or nearly so, because you had been in a hospital, had a DWI, killed someone, lost a job, lost a family....that didn't happen to me (YET) so I thought that step didn't apply. I had to be sober for years before I reflected and remembered that when I came in at age 44 I had had 17 addresses in 7 states, two wives, a lot of affairs, several jobs, 31 automobiles, 7 motorcycles, and a lot of trouble. That WAS insanity, but alcohol impaired my ability to SEE it in myself. Constantly changing all the outside stuff. Change of myself has taken 10 years, and is still taking place. Won't be complete until I'm in the life hereafter. But that's another forum.
Have a great day, and just don't drink, go to a meeting, ask for help, and let it happen.
Don F, NH
Member: Connie C.
Location: Laurel, MD
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 23:35:37
Hi, I'm Connie and I'm an alcoholic. I have been in the program for more than 4 years but currently have 2 months clean (as of tomorrow). In the years I having been coming around the rooms, I had never worked a step until 2 weeks ago. My sponsor had me "work" the 1st step with her 2 weeks ago and now I'm onto the 2nd step. Great topic Jeff H. Right on time for me. I'm already having trouble with this one. I have always believed in God and have always known that having a close relationship with Him could navigate my life to a much bette place. My problem is that I can't seem to let go of my old ways and behaviors and that seems to hinder my ability to accept God's help. I lack concentration and motivation. I truly want and need my own personal God and know that He is waiting for me. I have no idea if I have made any sense or not. Any feedback would be appreciated. Thanks for listening and allowing me to share.
Member: Jack B
Location: Windsor, ON
Date: 26 Apr 1999
Time: 23:38:43
Hi, my name is Jack and I'm an alcoholic. 2nd step ......good stuff, I was just at my home group this evening and shared on this step. I roamed the planet (drunk 0 for many years under the mistaken impression that I could fix my thinking with MY thinking!!! It wasn't until a wonderful AA pointed out to me that if nothing changed, nothing changed!!!! I started doing things that were suggested (which I was sure would not work), and lo and behold if things didn't begin to change.SO, the bottom line for me was that if I did what I always did, I got what I always got and the very moment I was willing to change things in my life began to change. Thank God for the people in the program that told me what I needed to hear NOT what I wanted to hear!! Thanks for the opportunity to share........ this is my first time on this site, I hope to be back soon. Happy April 27th. Jack
Member: quiet bill
Location: arizona
Date: 27 Apr 1999
Time: 01:47:21
quiet bill and im an alcoholic and sure am grateful i was about 2yrs into the program when i realized that the HP iwas cussing all those years was the same one who saved me just think back and youllget okay admit a few thingsto yourself it helps we all have an idea who saved us attack the whole program and take the little great things you needevery day remember we all have a right NOT to drink
Member: Bonnie C - 5/30/80
Location: Seattle
Date: 27 Apr 1999
Time: 02:11:31
Hi extended family, bonnie/alcoholic here (((ROOM-HUG))) this will probably be the last time I post until I'm settled with a computer or webtv in my new home. on a wonderful adventure by the Grace of God. starts later this wk. For those here sharing their experience strength and hope, thank you dear hearts, you've saved my life. For those of you hurting, or here for the first time or those new to AA *WELCOME HOME* we understand, been there done that. ((jeff)) great topic dear friend - came to believe, and restoration to sanity. I've got to admit that the second night in the program 5/31/80 I had a spiritual awakening. But I had been searching for yrs but never with my whole heart. a gal took me to a meeting that nite and the topic was higher power. I asked this girl how to get mine. If i was going to *waste my time* in this program i was going to get all i could from it. (I really didnt think this thing would work for me, I was different) but i was willing to give it a try. so that nite i said ok higher power they told me you were there and i was to give you a name that i could relate to and just talk to you, so what do YOU want me to call you. at that moment I was looking at my brand new big book, dont know what page but it was like a movie screen at that moment where I could see me sitting on the couch, budweiser in one hand the remote in the other and i stopped on a channel where the 700 club was on and i prayed with this guy named ben, then i said God if you're there, take me and make me a productive human being or let me die. right then i knew who my hp was. that scene actually happened a wk before I came into the program, in God's perfect timing, I didnt think He was listening that nite but there i sat on my second day of sobriety having this spiritual experience. I'm glad i did because 12 days after i got sober my mom died and I didnt have to drink behind it. That experience only introduced me to my hp, the relationship has developed over the past 19yrs. it is ever changing. strengthening. I wish just by meeting Him that my life would have been transformed but that was not the case, I've spent yrs cleaning up the wreckage of my past and the wreckage of my sobriety, I wasn't well when i got here and i have done many things to hurt others even in sobriety. I had to do these steps over and over again (getting rid of my shame) to clear out the crap that prevented me from having meaningful relationships with my higher power (and my loved ones). I just knew He was always there. well there was one time in sobriety that i walked away (for a couple yrs) and went *out on a limb* with a book I read and lost my faith for awile, thinking i was God but that only brought back the fear. The God I have today is my friend and will be my traveling companion this wk. I am leaving those I love here in this house. you have heard me speak of my grandson often. well he'll be 4 next week and i have been with him since he was born. Will be a difficult transition at first but he has a mom, who is my baby girl and she has God and we both taught him about God, the loving one that we both have, so this little guy will grow up with the one we know today. may this next generation wont be as screwed up as we were since we are in recovery. Time will tell. thats one of the gifts of this coming to believe. the love that I have received by having a higher power who i trust to handle all these people places and things while i work on my acceptance of who He is, who i am and how little power i have in most instances. when i do have the power to do something in my life He gives me the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to know the difference. Pages 60thru63 (self-will run riot) 449thru452 (acceptance) and 83&84 (the promises) in the big book really have helped me thruout the yrs. Dear God please bless all who venture here. love and hugs, bon I will miss you folks while i'm off line. Go with God dear hearts.
Member: Jubal H.
Location: Hong Kong
Date: 27 Apr 1999
Time: 02:26:37
I need to find a meeting in Hong Kong. What are their phone #'s, addresses, & times? Thanks...J
Member: Paul J.
Location: Murfreesboro, TN
Date: 27 Apr 1999
Time: 05:19:11
Thanks for all of your comments. This is a great tool to supplement regular meetings.
I'd like to ask you to please pause and ask your higher power to, "help the children that take their first drink today." As we all know, it's a long hard road to the first step - admitting we are powerless ...
Member: Andrew F.
Location: Coalville UK
Date: 27 Apr 1999
Time: 06:21:18
Hi, my name is Andrew and I am an alcoholic. Thanks to everyone who's shared so far.... especially all those in their early days . Amazing ! It took me months "around" AA to be able to say anything.. I was so empty. As far as step 2 goes.. well 'Came to Believe' was the first literature I bought and since I wasn't really one for books, I guess it proved to me how willing I was .( And how desperate. ) I hope I never loose that willingness and , on those days that I do, I pray that it will return ! I heard 2 things early on that continue to save my life on a daily basis... " don't pick up the first one" and " keep coming back ".
I try and keep Step 2 simple;
I came............ (after a while) I came to......... (and just for today) I came to believe.
After 3 years in AA and away from a drink, I finally surrended again and admitted that I was powerless over many other "things" apart from alcohol and that I still needed to be restored to sanity. My progess is slow, I still need help, and it is all so worth it. Its so good to be clean and sober. Thank you.
Member: Ann S
Location: Indiana
Date: 27 Apr 1999
Time: 10:00:14
Hi I'm Ann and I'm an alcoholic. This is new to me, I went to my first meeting two days ago and so far am still sober. Being an ACOA who has turned to alcohol in order to control the inner demons, it is hard for me to let go enough to let God help me, but, I am trying. I know that in order to stay sober I need help from a power greater than I. The only one I know is God. When I open my heart I can feel His help. But, as I said before, that means letting go of control. I guess it should be apparent by now that letting myself control instead of God hasn't done me much good!!! I'm learning, I'm trying, I'm praying and I'm sober, day- by- day by His Grace.
Member: Dale S.
Location: California
Date: 27 Apr 1999
Time: 10:57:32
I don't think step two was ever a problem I was sure there was a God who could restore me to sanity but for some reason he didn't. I think where my stumbling point was turning my life and ill over to him. Because in my mind once I did that I could no longer sin or I would just be a hypocrite to God, Another stumbling point was the powerlessness. I thought for sure I would be able to beat the alcohol thing with the help of my God or treatment or will power or something, But the day never came and alcohol finally after 15 years beat me and I was ready to through in the towel. That is when I became ready to do anything to overcome the madness of the first drink. I decided to do all of the steps come what may. The first three were easy for me. After all they are just promises, commitments, and confirmations. Then came the dreaded steps 4&5. How will I ever be able to do these? I put my foot down! I must do these steps! I will do these steps! When I asked for God's house and became willing to clean house my obsession to drink vanished. Do I still sin? Yes. The important part if that I am growing spiritually and sinning less every day. And when I do sin I try to go back and correct it when possible.
Member: Susan B.
Location: KY
Date: 27 Apr 1999
Time: 11:41:06
Hi, my name is Susan and I am an alcoholic. "Came to believe".....I was brought up in a family of devote Catholic alcoholics. I attended parochail schools for 12 years(of which I detested...to much discipline!!!), had religion shoved down my throat for 21 years by my parents....So when I moved out at 21, Hooray!!! No more church...no more prayers to St. Christoper when we got in the car to go somewhere. I decided at that moment...I did not need a "God" in my life...I could handle my own affairs!!!!! Boy I sure did!!! I can look back now and realize the moment I made that decision to distance myself from my God(my understanding), that that's when the insanity with alcohol really started to kick-in and all the terrible things that happen with disease happened and continued to happen until 5 months ago and at age 36. 15 years of miserable existence for me and those around me. During this period I had been in and out of AA at the coersion of others..never for me..always for family or spouses!! The first time I went to AA at 27 when I heard the word "Higher Power" "God"...I automatically built up a huge resentment..thinking, here we go again with the God thing!!!!! Well, this being the case, AA wasn't for me, I refused to go back to a similation of living in that devote Catholic lifestyle!!! So, I continued on for nine more years of living hell. Something that my mother said to me during my early stages of total druken chaos was, "to seek happiness without God is to seek in vain". She was so right! At age 36 when all "my half measures" to quit drinking "availed me nothing"...after my second trip to Rehab...I got down on my hands and knees and asked God to please let me die or please help me 'cause I can't live like this anymore..not wanting to drink, but only being able to think about a drink...taking that drink and then having to live with the mayhem I would cause while drinking!! It was my third day in rehab...the day I got down on my hands and knees and asked for this help that I was standing out on the hospital porch crying cause I was at my bottom when in flew a dove and landed on the fence above me and stayed until I felt a peace come over me and at that moment I knew everthing was going to be alright. It then dawned on my that a power greater than myself was going to restore me to sanity...my obsession to drink was finally gone. "God did for me what I could not, would not do for myself!! For that, I am truly grateful. Today, Catholicism is not my religion....today, AA is the religion of my choice(my mother cringes when I tell her that...but what the hey....I'm sure she'd rather have a sober convert, than a drunk Catholic!!! Thanks to the "God" of my understanding and thanks for letting me share!
Member: Billy M.
Location: NE
Date: 27 Apr 1999
Time: 12:13:01
Hi, I'm Bill an alcoholic I knocked around this life for many years knowing (or so I thought so) that God was there to use only in case of emergency. God, please get me out of this and I'll never do it again, etc., etc. When bottom finally beat me mentally and physically and I had no place to go but up or die. "I came to believe" fairly early in my sobriety mainly because my sponsor suggested I get this God business or my chances of staying sober were almost next to nothing. My H.P. protects me from those dreaded "four horsemen". I am either one step ahead or one step behind them every waking minute. Once "I came to believe" my obsession to drink alcohol left me and now I am able to concentrate on being "a better whatever I am today." Keep the faith in your H.P. That is where the answers we seek are. Thanks, Billy M.
Member: Arik P.
Location: Southern California
Date: 27 Apr 1999
Time: 12:28:55
Hi, I'm an alcoholic & my name is Arik. For me the most important part of step 2 is the phrase "Came To" because it indicates a process. Nothing in this program is an overnight sensation, especially a relationship with a Higher Power! They told me to "Fake it till you make it". For me this meant going through the motions of prayer and meditation despite what my head was thinking, or whether I truly believed in a H.P. They said things like if you don't think you're powerless, go out to the ocean and try to stop a wave. They told me that a loving God had me in the palm of his hand since day one, and that a backwards look over my life prior to, and including, getting to AA would reveal this fact to be true.
All of these things over a period of time aloowed me to have a spiritual experience, which is nothing more than "a personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism" BB pg569. There was no burning bushes, lightning strikes, or seas parting, but the fact that I hadn't had a drink for quite sometime could not be denied.
This program works, and it works well - one day at a time without the drink!
KCB
Member: Elizabeth S.
Location: Southeast
Date: 27 Apr 1999
Time: 14:34:17
Hi, I'm an alcoholic, my name is Elizabeth. Thank God, I had no problem believing in him, that is what kept me in AA meetings! The very first meeting I attended, they were reading how it works and I heard (still in a fog) "there is one who has all power, that one is God". I didn't have much and didn't know anything about sobriety, but I still had the God idea on the inside. I still connected "God" with everything good. So I gave it a try. I had a problem understanding the insanity concept. Once the fog lifted and it was explained as "doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results". That was me for 24 years of my 44 years of my life. When I reached the 2nd step and was willing to practice the principal what I received was hope. Hope that maybe I could get sober and stay sober. My action in this step was to come to meetings (to get hope from the people) and to ask God, not only to keep my sober but to ask him for everything! I remember being given a choice in the chapter to the agnostic - either God is everything or he is nothing, what was my choice to be? Today, God is everything to me. I ask him in the morning and thank him at night. I never remember asking Him for anything-just telling him what I wanted him to do for me. Today my life is good because I have been given a design for living and have been honest and open-minded enough to receive it! Thanks for letting me share!
Member: Elmer F
Location: texas
Date: 27 Apr 1999
Time: 18:45:26
"Came To Believe..." Three of the most powerful words i know; a real spiritual awakening when they sunk into my thick head. AA taught me to believe; there was no god in my life then; my higher power was the bottle. I just heard some very disappointing news as I was about to share so i'm signing off and will try again tomorow
Member: Spud B.
Location: Tn
Date: 27 Apr 1999
Time: 19:04:17
Hi! I'm Spud and I'm an alchoholic. I'll try not to be too deep. I was raised Southern Baptist. Married a Southern Baptist. We were Episcopalians when we adopted our daughter. Several months after I admitted I was a drunk and "stopped", I converted to Judasiam! Hey, Whatever it takes!
Member: Geri W
Location: Va
Date: 27 Apr 1999
Time: 19:45:09
Geri, a very grateful alcoholic here.
When I discovered that all I had to do to get sober was to follow the simple steps outlined in the Big Book - I wanted to shout from the treetops, "i'm free, I'm free". I heard How It Works at the beginnig of the meeting and thought, "hell, any idiot can do that" and I was right. Cause so far, this idiot has.
I always knew there was a Higher Power - I just didn't think He'd be interested in helping me! There were real problems He was handling. My inability to not drink couldn't be important to Him.
Something as simple as asking Him for his care and protection had never occurred to me. I thought that because He had given me self will, I was on my own. WRONG! If I was insane, if was because I had done something wrong. I didn't understand the concept of God's Grace and thought I had to earn His love. Well, wrong again. So I came to believe that He would restore my sanity and the need to drink would go away. And by His Grace, it has. I have a daily reprieve as long as I practice the principles of this simple (not easy ) program.
So now I have this loving, forgiving Director of my life. I have the principles of AA and some formal religion to guide me. I pray for His Will to be done and for Him to give me the knowedge and courage to do what is revealed to me as the Next Right Thing.
An't it great to be sober?
Member: Carol B.
Location: Nevada
Date: 27 Apr 1999
Time: 23:40:42
Carol here, alcoholic. When I came to, I came to believe that I no longer could stay in charge. That doesn't mean that I didn't still attempt to impose my will on whatever was in front of me. It means that I was incomprehensibly demoralized, my bag of tricks was empty. The principle of the second step is Hope, hope that there is a new (for me) and better way. Only through following what you people have laid out is there a path that I may use to trek along this lifelong journey. As I grow in the program, I grow in my understanding, conscious contact and intimate relationship with my HP, whom I choose to call God... Do you know what Hope is? It's candy for the soul, It's perfume for the spirit, To share it, makes you Whole... Thanks for being here, Carol
Member: PattiK
Location: Woodstock
Date: 28 Apr 1999
Time: 01:25:21
Hi, I'm Patti and I am an alcoholic. Came, came to, came to believe, thanks for reminding me of one of my favorite sayings Andrew.
I really id'd with Ron, God, as I was taught in the good ole catholic school sysytem was a punishing God, and He would get you for whatever you did wrong. I carried a lot of guilt before I really even learned to be bad!
Alcohol controlled me, and I tried to control everything else for a long time.. I turned 50 this year, came into the rooms at 47, whipped by my buddy Budwieser and the places it took me.
I was a late bloomer in life, and a late bloomer in AA too. Took me over a year to get a sponser, before that i thought my wonderful intellect could get me through the steps.
Finally, at the 2 and 1/2 year mark I am involved in the program, working the steps and have just found a new sponser who really has the happy, joyous and free qualities you hear about in the program. i have good friends in AA and out of AA who I am happy to let live.
God for me today is not a punishing, but a forgiving God who is showing me a new way of living by sending me into these rooms and putting all of the right people in my path to teach me how it works.
Some of the promises are starting to come true for me, especially that I'm finding that my whole attitude and outlook on life is changing. I don't hold resentments anymore, I am fully aware that I can't control anything but my own choices. I can let go and let God when I feel anger or resentment coming on and simply pray about it. And, He listens, He helps me throught he rough times, He has lifted the obsession to drink from me. No matter if the day is bad or good, drinking is no longer a viable option for me today. This I could never have done for myself, I know He did it.
In the beginning even I didn't believe my prayers, i thought I wasn't praying the right way, and why would God want to hear from someone like me anyway. Today I kknow that he is aware of willingness to believe and that just a tiny bit of willingness opens the door to let Him into your heart.
That's how it worked for me, even though i wasn't sure He wanted to hear from me, I kept praying anyway. Today, I know he listens, even answers sometimes, shows me the way He wants me to go and the things He wants me to do.
I may be rambling but I know this, I have truly come to believe that a power greater than myself is restoring me to sanity. As many have said, my best thinking got me here. My life is certainly not perfect today but it is better. i always know where i went and wha t i did yesterday. I wake up feeling healthy and rested. I make, mostly good choices today, and I don't drink. God did that. He bought me through the war in one piece because h WANTED ME TO HAVE A BETTER LIFE. I CAN HOLD MY HEAD UP TO ANYONE TODAY, i NO LONGER HAVE ANY SHAME IN MY LIFE. oH NO, i AM NOT PERFECT BUT TODAY i CAN SAY i'M PROUD OF MY LIFE, DOING THE NEXT RIGHT THING WHENEVER I CAN, AND NOT TRYIONG TO CONTROL ANYONE BUT ME WIT THE HELP AND GRACE OF mY HIGHER pOWER, gOD.
Sorry about the cap lock, and sorry if I talk too much, but lately and only lately, my faith has been increasing so that i'm becoming very excited about it. It's so good to know we are not alone in this world. We all have God and the understanding of the pewople in the program, we are truly lucky people.
In the beginning I never understood when someone would call themselves a "grateful, recovering alcoholic" but now I do understand, I have become one too.
Thanks for letting me drone on and thanks to all of you for sharing your thoughts on coming to believe.
Member: Dan S
Location: South Dakota
Date: 28 Apr 1999
Time: 11:58:43
My name is Dan and I'm an alcoholic--isn't it interesting that no where in the Big Book it says "now we're at Step 2" or "now we're at Step 3". It does say "now we are at Step 3, right after the portion of Chapter 5 we read at meetings. I believe we take Step 2 when we come to AA. Afterall, no one comes to AA because of eating too many carrots. An oldtimer told me early on, he used the group as his Higher Power for the first five years, when he realized one day, there is a power behind the group. In short, if we are at AA, wobbly with our First Step, and doubting about the Second Step--ask the question? What am I doing here if I don't believe this room full of recovered drunks is a Higher Power--at least for today??
Member: Jack B
Location: Windsor, ON
Date: 28 Apr 1999
Time: 12:14:46
Hi, my name is Jack and I'm an alcoholic. A sober friend of mine in Orlando claims that he has never (in 33 years) seen anyone come back from a "road trip" and say that 1-They asked their H.P. for help. 2-They HAD a sponsor AND talked to him. 3-They read SOME AA literature. 4-They went to a meeting. 5-They thanked their H.P.
.......... on the day they drank.
NOT doing these basic things on a consistent basis would be INSANITY on my part since I know that my life today is incomparable to the hell I lived in for so many years. take care, and happy 28th !!!
Member: Patt O. 2/14/91
Location: Oregon
Date: 28 Apr 1999
Time: 12:43:58
Hi, all. Patt, grateful recovering alcoholic, here. Wonderful topic, thank you so much. I've been down in the dumps for a couple of days and have been asking my God to help me get back on track. Seeing what you all have had to share has helped me so much, especially those of you who are new or returning. There is much wisdom here at this site, please keep coming back.
When I went into treatment I zeroed in on all the cute little sayings that were pinned up on the wall, e.g., "Let go and let God." I had always believed in A God, but not one of my personal understanding--he was too busy taking care of the big problems of the universe to be my individual God, for goodness' sakes. Then, I learned that I could have a higher power of my very own if I was willing to believe that there was one for me. What a revelation that was for me--it freed me to "Come to believe..." and I thank God for that. Honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness--the keys to this program.
Trust God, clean house, help others. Blessings on you all. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Larry M.
Location: Virginia Beach
Date: 28 Apr 1999
Time: 14:27:14
Larry, alcoholic
When I first came to AA I was a militant atheist. I used AA as my HP and the compulsion to drink left rather quickly. Something miraculous definitely happens in the rooms. I thought sobriety=sanity so I went along for years without a program. I had always thought The Promises were a bunch of unrealistic AA propoganda. But that was OK with me. My expectations were very low and I was grateful that I didn't have to drink anymore. Life was much better than when I had been drinking and I figured I could deal with the rest of my problems on my own. Then when I hit an emotional bottom, I came back into AA and began working a serious program. I still was an agnostic, but as I worked the Steps I noticed that the Promises did start to come true in my life. My concept of a higher power began to broaden and deepen. This wasn't really a matter of faith. It was simply a matter of seeing and believing. I know what I used to be like and I know what I'm like now. Huge difference! So, I didn't come to believe and then work the rest of the Steps; I came to believe BY working the rest of the Steps.
I view my HP as more of a force than a deity - not a He, She, It, or Them - so sometimes I have trouble identifying with a lot of what's said in meetings or written in the literature. But it works for me and that's all that matters.
Peace & Serenity
P.S. I also found the "Came to Believe" book very helpful when I was struggling with the concept of a higher power.
Member: Don F.
Location: Mountain Empire Tn.
Date: 28 Apr 1999
Time: 14:43:08
God and I have never been on a first name basis, the group has always been and continues to be my higher power.
Member: JJS
Location: PA
Date: 28 Apr 1999
Time: 17:30:24
Jen here, grateful recovering alcoholic. My experience with step two changes as I stay sober. It gets clearer that this is a one day at a time program, and I need the help of a Higher Power to return me to sanity whenever my old thinking comes back. I have a great relationship with that Power today, and He never fails me if I turn to him. Sobriety is awesome!!! Thanks for letting me share. To all who are struggling, keep coming, it does get better.
Member: Angie W.
Location: Tucson AZ
Date: 28 Apr 1999
Time: 18:14:38
Hi I'm Angie W. and I'm an Addict and alcholic. I'm glad to hear from AA people again. I've beensober for 20 years and my life has become unmanegable agin. I moved and just couldn't seem to get back into AA in the new town(Tucson,AZ) I've really lost faith in my higher power and I don't know where my life is going anymore. I work so much and live on a ranch which needs so much time that I don't get around to trying meetings anymore. My main pain though is that I can't seem to get back in touch with my hp and therefore other people. I no longer trust anyone and I feel that I am a total outcast. Problem is I don't want to belong with these people. I found God through AA and the only people I have ver understood and trusted are Alcholics and addicts. We may be strange but we know it.Well i'm having trouble focusing so i"ll sign off. Thanks for being here-maybe this will help me get back in the meeting mode. Angie W. Tucson AZ
Member: JB
Location: Minneapolis
Date: 28 Apr 1999
Time: 20:24:23
J here grateful alcoholic. What does LOL mean? Anyway, today (the 28th) is my ten year sobriety birthday. What a great topic! I remember the first time an oldtimer pointed out the insanity of my thinking and I recognized it for what it was. That is what AA brought me, a clarity of thinking. I know sometimes I still sound rather insane but it is really just the process I go thru of working things out. The God of my understanding has restored me to sanity, that is the miracle of Step 2. Thanks for being here, peace and love-J.
Member: Tony p
Location: michigan
Date: 28 Apr 1999
Time: 22:11:34
TONY ALCHOLIC, ADDICT
I still have a problem dealing with this step. But after reading your stories it makes it a little eaiser,and puts me at peace.thank you for sharing and letting me share
Member: Don F
Location: NH
Date: 29 Apr 1999
Time: 06:54:14
I hear a lot of confusion about God, or denial thereof in AA. Some still a seeking a god suitable to themselves. God is who He is, no matter what you think. We can be striving to climb a ladder, and never know it was leaning against the wrong wall. We are separated from God by sin. The only way to bridge that gap is through acceptance that Jesus Christ is who He says He is. Those of you who reject this because you say AA is not a religious program. "Religion" is a systematic practice of ceremony and reading, often involving a heirarchy of men. What I am speaking of is just the Truth, as written in the inspired word of God. The Bible. A lot of the Big Book is Gospel-inspired. Check out Matthew chapters 5,6,and7.
Even a the MATHEMATICIAN (not priest) Pascal said "Bet that there is a god. If you lose, you lose nothing. If you win, you win eternal life."
Once we accept AA we can save our ass. We then can become capable of saving our soul.
Member: Rhonda C
Location: NH
Date: 29 Apr 1999
Time: 09:04:14
Hi I'm Rhonda and I'm an alcoholic It was good to read what you wrote Don F. I was given the gift of sobriety two years ago because I put my life and my will into the care of God. Since that time he has given me other wonderful gifts because I have opened my heart and believed and him and let him in. I was somewhat resistant at first and would only refer to him as my higher power. As time and my understanding of God and his son Jesus Christ has grown so has my love for him and myself. I now know the gift of peace and tranquility that I had nEver before experienced. I am greatful for AA ,2nd step and more importantly the love of God. Thanks for the topic
Member: Bill T.
Location: Ridgefield, Wa
Date: 29 Apr 1999
Time: 09:24:27
Hi Bill T. here, I'am alcoholic: ANGIE W. I to have been sober for 20yrs. you have the tools, and now use them. simple-no I understand but as always we make the right choice after being here for a while. came to belived in power greater than myself.{WOW} now it'nt that someting before i came here i thought that i was the power. After ammitting that I was not in charge than and only than did things change. just remmember folk's we only have one day at a time. And if you turn it over he or she will give only what you need. I as a person found that out after awhile in this program. I'am a slow leaner in alot of ways but one thing is for sure. I only have one day at a time. What keep me sober yesterday is not keeping me sober today. and tommorrow is'nt here yet. So I will just work on today with the help of my higher power whom I call God.So in closeing i sau just one thing.....just hang in there and don't take that first drink: thing's will get better In Service Bill T.
Member: Kim R.
Location: Salt Lake City, Ut
Date: 29 Apr 1999
Time: 12:01:43
With the exception of step 5, step 2 was my most exciting step. Wasn't always that way though. At first glance I found it to be a little insulting, "me, insane?" Like some others, I always believed in a God, even when drinking (had to blame someone, and I had to blame a Power greater than myself). For me the "Came to Believe" part was as easy as picking up a drink. I had problems with Trusting God. My attitude was "Why would that He restore Me, just look what He's done for me so far." Then I started to look at all the times I should have been dead and wasn't (i.e., driving car and watching telephone pole whiz by on the wrong side of car). Hadn't I always been in His care. Reviewing my drinking history in step 1, I saw the insanity of my life, my drinking and knew that without help, it was too much for me. But my bigest revelation of step 2 came much later. I wanted what you guys had and not a clue how to get it. I had come to believe in a Power greater than myself. I believed my life to be insane. I believe He could restore me to sanity. I even believe He "Could" restore me. The final moment for me in this step, was to believe that I was changable, that I could be changed, that I could have what you had. Simply put, willingness.
Member: Patt O.
Location: OR
Date: 29 Apr 1999
Time: 12:40:29
This is for Angie in Tucson. We lived at the Voyager RV Resort on S. Kolb Road for 3-1/2 months--there's a good meeting there on Tuesday nights. Check it out with the local AA office. Also, please tell Joyce H. at the meeting "Hi" for me. Sounds as though you're really hurting, Angie, and you need to be with some "real" recovering alcoholics. Whatever's keeping you from going to meetings can be overcome if you reach out for help. Please let me know how your're doing on this site--I'm sure the rest of us care about you, too. We're all in this thing together. By the way, what step are you on? Do you have a sponsor? Maybe back to the basics? Trust God, clean house, help others. Love, Patt. (Sorry for the double-share, but I couldn't keep from trying to help. See how we are?)
Member: Chris C.
Location: Ottumwa, Iowa
Date: 29 Apr 1999
Time: 13:34:28
Thanks for sharing Patt.
Hi everybody. My name is Chris and I'm an alcoholic.
I always cringe when someone says their God isn't a religious God. It's like saying their AA experience isn't a spiritual one. There comes a time when an alcoholic needs to move further on than this "Spiritual kindergarten we are running." The concept of a Higher Power lasts for one step. Step 3 talks about God, and Bill W. exhorts later to find the great reality that is God. We have taken a stepping stone and made it our destination.
I found that when I was restored to sanity, that the religious world had a lot to teach me if I would but listen and stop fighting. As in AA, I take what I can use and leave the rest and sometimes even I have something to share about God's work in my life.
Today, I know there are greater questions about life than the problem of alcohol. Although, I'll admit I needed to find that answer before I could consider the others. I found that answer (AA) but as I grow (Hopefully) I find I need a God who does more than just keep drunks sober. I need one that comforts my dying mother and her family I need one that has answers for has happen inColorado and what is happening in Kosovo. I need a God who is great enough that when He tells me that no matter what happens, it'll be okay, and mean it. And I need a God who cares enough to hear me when I pray. I found that God. May you find him now, also.
Peace. Take care.
Member: Jean-Claude T.
Location: Belgium
Date: 29 Apr 1999
Time: 13:44:46
My name is JC and I'm an alcoholic. Thanks for the topic, Jeff. I've been drinkin' for more than 16 years. My first contacts with alcohol lead already to drunkeness and blackouts. I guess I never knew what social drinkin' meant. Years before I stopped I knew somewhere deep in my mind there was somethin' wrong. For 2 years I counted the glasses I was drinkin' daily, makin' averages each week and each month. I kept on drinkin'. After a heavy wet period, I usually stopped for some days to please my wife and regain some physical strenghts. After that I thought I had no problem with booze. The fact of stopping 5 days was a clue, I had no dependance, didn't see rats, snakes or other nice kinds of pets. I did that hundreds of times. Years went by and eventually I didn't find it worth spending energy to stop drinkin' and going back few days later. You know the rest of the story, it went worse and worse, physically and mentally. I phoned AA and found people who stopped drinkin' and continued to do so one day at a time and didn't seem particularly sad. So, having enough of having enough of being tired of being fed up with alcohol, I decided to give them a try and started doin' everything they suggested. AND IT WORKED. I stopped drinking and, the most important thing, I continued to stop drinkin', one day at a time. It's been more than 10 years now that I'm on the path to recovery, with some ups and some downs. And this path has been fairly easy. If AA is not a power greater than myself who can restore me to some sanity, I don't know what it is. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Sue O.
Location: Connecticut
Date: 29 Apr 1999
Time: 15:01:42
Hi I'm Sue O. and I'm an alcoholic. Thank God that I came to believe God could and would restore me to sanity. Before I stopped drinking I felt completely empty inside, except for the pain. I couldn't stop drinking. I could face the pain. Finally I found AA, I should say AA found me. God put people in my life and I owe my life to them. I have been sober since 11/26/94 by the grace of God. In 45 minutes I have to leave for a job interview. I am very nervous. I can be honest and tell you that today--wow. God will be with me I know. I'm so nervous--I need to remember that without God and the AA fellowship I wouldn't even have this interview. Thanks for listening--God Bless.
Member: Elmer F
Location: Texas
Date: 29 Apr 1999
Time: 17:44:02
To Sue in CT. by the time you read this, you' ll know about the job, perhaps. either way, keep the faith. where i attend meetings, we are in need of trusted servants to make sure the meeting takes place. tonite, there is the Self-Esteem meeting, we need a secretary, a chairperson and a leader! given my role with this group, i'll show up and lead if necessary. the reason i mention this is to show that our recovery depends on us, once we Come to Believe that a Power Greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity; we have to do our part. i get more from leading the meetings than i can offer despite being in recovery for ten years. i enjoy reading the comments on this site and must say, there is a lot of recovery out there. Keep the Faith!.
Member: alsstuff
Location: mo
Date: 29 Apr 1999
Time: 18:10:23
I had read the big book from cover to cover many times in my first year. I noticed for the first time a line in the chapter how it works a line right after the steps and it said haveing agree with this we our ready to take step three.Agree to what I thought then it hit me I could understand what the words in how it work meant I could agree with the abc things made sense to me more and more and I realized that my mind was sane and that it had to have come from a power great than myself. For me this was the first realization that the steps where working and that the promise's where slowly being forfilled
Member: Keith R.
Location: Texas
Date: 29 Apr 1999
Time: 19:42:40
Hello , My name is Keith and I'm an alcoholic. Thanks Jeff for the service work. Step 2 was/is a very simple step for me. In our text, pg. 47, it states that we needed to ask ourselves but one short question."Do I now believe or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?" At first, I didn't know if I believed in God, but I Did know that I Wanted to believe in something. And that is Willingness. For years I wanted to work the steps perfectly and could never accomplish that. I wanted to completely work the steps and never did. I would run into a snag and end up drunk again and again. It took me over 12 years to get my drydate.
Finally, I decided to keep it simple and not complicate it. Just read the Big Book and do what it says with my sponsor. And you know what, It Works. I haven't had a drink since. So step 2 is a simple step today for me. My sanity has been restored and all I did was become willing. Thanks for my sobriety.
Member: Arlene C.
Location: Cape Coral, Florida
Date: 29 Apr 1999
Time: 22:46:51
Hi everyone my name is Arlene and I'm an alcoholic from Cape Coral, Florida. My sobriety date is 11/28/85 and my homegroup is the Interesting Topic Group which meets at 8pm Thurs. nites at the YANA clubhouse in Fort Myers, Fl. Funny, tonite was my home group and the topic was the second step. It made me remember how I didn't think I was insane or needed a higher power, once I'd sobered up enough to understand what I was reading on the wall. Sure, maybe when I was drinking I was insane, but now I was sober, and what good was a higher power when I'd already proved I could quit drinking by coming to AA?
Strange thinking, but then again I was insane! This type of thinking kept me from working the steps for about 3 stubborn and painful sober years. But finding myself with a drink in my hand after 3 years sober without coming to believe not only in a higher power but the certainty of my own insanity finally broke through my self absorption to the point that I realized not only did I need to work the steps to stay sober, but that choosing not to work a program that had shown millions of hopeless alcoholics blessed sobriety was an insanity in itself, pointing me straight back to the second step. My only hope was to let a higher power do the work.
I am living proof that a hopeless alcoholic who couldn't stop drinking can and will be restored to sanity if she only comes to believe that it's possible, and that someone or thing other than herself can do it. I'm at peace. If someone who's newer than me reads this, I hope it gives you some hope, because it can and will happen for you like it happened for me if only you are willing to do what we have done. God bless you all.
Member: Bill S.
Location: St. Louis, MO
Date: 29 Apr 1999
Time: 23:29:54
Hi Everyone, Bill alcoholic. I struggle with this step everyday. Simly put it is about faith. It's about developing a working faith in a higher power, and it's about letting that higher power work in our lives by faith. I don't know how else to put it. Sometimes my faith is rock solid and life is simple. Sometimes my faith is almost nonexistent and I'm getting very stressed and unsure and well life becomes very complicated when you do that! Very isane indeed! So it was great that you guys brought this step up. I have'nt been working my program this week and was starting to get crazy again and that's why I came here. Thank you all for reminding me to get back to it!!
Member: JOE R.
Location: SAN DIEGO
Date: 30 Apr 1999
Time: 01:42:44
The 2nd step was one of the steps that was hard for me to accept. When I came to the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, I was ready to do anything, try anything just to not drink. I didn't come here to get "religion." I knew I needed help beyond myself because I could not stop drinking and stay stopped on my efforts. So, I came to the rooms and when to meetings I felt good about not drinking and for the road that I had started. AA became my Higher Power. Then I had to get a sponsor, and for all practical purposes the man saved my life. He walked with me, listened to my whining, took me to meetings and gave me his time, experience, and love. I loved and respected him very much and needless to say I was very grateful. I tried to make him my Higher Power. He told me that if he believe what I was trying to make him, he'd end up drunk. He told me to listen to other peoples ideas of their Higher Power, to continue working the steps and eventually I would get an understanding of my own Higher Power. Well I did and today I have returned to the Higher Power of my childhood. But today I listen with a different set of ears. The God of my understanding today was taught to me by my fellow Drunks. Loving and understanding, they didn't judge and expel me. They knew what I was going through. One day I looked at the sign on the wall,saw the a phrase in the 2nd Tradition and understood that God, my Higher Power was with us. "A loving God as He may express himself in our group conscience" He was there all the time and came to me through others. I am grateful to know that He was taking care of me. Keep coming back. Joe R.
Member: Matt S.
Location:
Date: 30 Apr 1999
Time: 03:16:43
Hi, my name is Matt and I'm an Alcoholic. I have been sober for 91 days today and I could not have done it without my higher power (GOD).You know we are delt with temptions everyday, those temptions that drove us insane now drive us crazy because I know I have another drink in me but do I have another recoverey that something I don't want to find out. He has restored me to sanity.Because without him I would be insane with that I pass.Matt S.
Member: Matt S.
Location: Ohio
Date: 30 Apr 1999
Time: 03:17:40
Hi, my name is Matt and I'm an Alcoholic. I have been sober for 91 days today and I could not have done it without my higher power (GOD).You know we are delt with temptions everyday, those temptions that drove us insane now drive us crazy because I know I have another drink in me but do I have another recoverey that something I don't want to find out. He has restored me to sanity.Because without him I would be insane with that I pass.Matt S.
Member: Jim Jones
Location: San Diego
Date: 30 Apr 1999
Time: 03:28:32
Hi: I am an Alcoholic My name is Jim Jones I arrived at the program with a higher called "The Supreme Architech of the Universe" From a fellowship group that I belong to. It took a long time for me to realize that the ritual of that group (of which there is nothing wrong) was practiced on the outside for all to see and praise. However it was the inside which was more importent and the side that was seen by "God" rather than the ritual. I still belong to the Masons and I now know that it truly is the internal qualities of a man which will recommend him to his fellows.
Member: john mc
Location: u.k.
Date: 30 Apr 1999
Time: 03:45:43
"Came to believe..." Begs the question ! "Who came to believe" Ans: The people who wrote the B/Book. How did they do it. Read chap 4, take/do Steps 3 to 9 and you'll find out. People who struggle with these steps, generally have one thing in common, they use the 12x12, which is not the A.A. way. Let's keep it simple, all you so called sponsors, and get back to basics. Give your actual/potential alcoholic the Programme as it is in the B/Book. You've no right to do anything else!!
Member: Jon N
Location: N. Cal
Date: 30 Apr 1999
Time: 04:11:07
jon, alcoholic.first a note to Jubal:I found a listing for AA in Hong Kong:522-5665. That's an old number and I don't know if it's still good but certainly worth a try. Now, about step 2. This step doesn't require us to believe in anything. It does force us, once again, to admit that we can't seem to restore our selves to sanity. I still don't always feel like I believe in God. I have felt a power an a prescence in my life that has relieved me of the compulsion to drink. I get tired trying to figure out what that power is, so I give up and call it God. I even go to church and worship it, but I'm best off when I don't worry too much about what it is.
Member: Kris R.
Location: Parkersburg,WV.
Date: 30 Apr 1999
Time: 14:41:17
Hieverybody!MynameisKrisandIamarecoveringalcoholic.I'vebeensoberforafew24hours,butthisismyfirstmeetingonthenet. Iguessformethesecondstepwasdifficult,duetothefactthatIdidn'twantanypartofahigherpowerwhenIwalkedthroughthedoorsofAA.IthoughtthatGodhadletmedownandIwasangryaboutthisstep.AtleastuntilIheardamanonenighttellmethatIcoulduseanythingIwantedtouseformyhigherpower.Atthattimeitturnedouttobeastuffedfrog,buteventuallyIlearnedthatthegroupasawholeworkedevenbetterthanthefrog.Eventuallythroughaverylongprocess,alotoflovefrommyfriends,andseveralmistakeslaterIhavefoundatruehigherpowerthatisdefinitelyrestoringmetosanity.AAworks!IthassavedmylifeandIamforevergrateful!
Member: Vicki
Location: H.
Date: 30 Apr 1999
Time: 22:38:08
Talk of GOD and HPs was what alienated me from the program...the first 2 times I came in (LOL). "I'm not drinking the koolaid" I thought, "I just want to get sober!" Funny how GOD was who I asked to get me out of jams. But when I hit that final bottom I was ready to believe anything. Being cynical, I still needed a sign. Then I started realizing that the good luck I had when I got sober were not just coincidences. The fact that I didn't kill myself up to that point probably was miraculous. Now I have a life worth living and a pink cloud cadillac to ride on from time to time. Thanks GOD.
Member: Doug A.
Location: CA,USA
Date: 01 May 1999
Time: 02:20:51
Hi,
I'am Doug an alcohic, I've wanted to join your discussion grourps
sincerely,
Doug
Member: John M
Location: Ventura
Date: 01 May 1999
Time: 10:59:40
My name is John and I am an alcoholic. I was just thinking this morning what or why am I different today, after surrendering to god experiencing the steps of AA. My beleif or faith in God was not through logic or specific effort. It came as as result of much suffering from drinking and a desire to live differently after being introduced to AA. I used to think that faith was an attribute that some people had, like being tall or short. But after going to a few AA meetings I saw how people wiyh no faith aquired it and how it had a practicle impact on their lives. A year later when I got to the stage of drinkung where I did not want to live anymore, a spark of hope kindled in me and said "surrender to God and do all the AA suggestions". I did and have, and today I have an active, practicle faith in God. It's the same comforting feeling I got from drinking but purer and constant.Life is still difficult at times but I have a center now that tells me eveything will be OK if I do my best to apply the AA principles in my life.
Member: Texas Girl
Location: Texas
Date: 01 May 1999
Time: 20:09:15
Hi, I'm Texas Girl, and I'm an alcoholic. Today my HP threw me for a loop -- something really important came through for me, something I had been asking my HP to provide for me for months. At almost the same time, got news of a rather shocking loss which just came out of the blue. Was whining to an AA friend about this amazing good/bad day and what in the world I was supposed to learn from this. Friend said since the really great thing was a major new beginning, maybe the really bad thing was something I had to let go of to go the new direction my HP wanted for me. I think that's exactly right and feel much better--now I'm enjoying the good thing and really looking at new ways to deal with the bad thing. The point is that ten years ago I would have been drunk. Today I can trust that my HP seems to throw a curve now and then but s/he's always been right so far and the gift is that I can trust that. For Angie W. who has lost faith in her higher power, someone told me early on when I was in a similar place that since HP is a god of our understanding, in times when we don't understand we can ask somebody else's HP for help or ask for a different HP that we can understand to sub for a while. Know what? It works. And ever since then when a friend needs a little extra boost I'll ask my HP and that other person's HP for help. So Angie I'm asking your HP to be clearer and closer. Also I find that HPs tend to hang out and get recharged at meetings--just a suggestion. Love to all.
Member: Jan S.
Location: Alabama
Date: 01 May 1999
Time: 21:33:14
My name is Jan, and I am an alcoholic. Came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. I absolutely had to have a sponsor show me how to find a power greater than myself first. So I think for a while I was using my sponsor as that higher power, because I wanted what she had. I then had to go through the steps and find out that I had a HUGE resentment against God for all I felt I had been cheated out of in life. Step six really had me over the barrel. Because until then, my sponsor served as a perfect diversion to finding a God of my understanding. Step eleven solved my problem. That and my sponsor telling me a million times that if I didn't believe that a higher power could restore my sanity and solve my problems dealing with everyday life, than I was still living in a self-sufficient realm and would probably drink again. Because my self will got me drunk. I think I only came to believe just like I came into AA--through process of eliminating everything else I tried that didn't work or quit working after a time...and then I had to serender completely. Step eleven prayer. I do know that I can not play God today and stay sober for very long. So if I want sobriety to work, than I must rely on a power greater than myself...even if that means some "Good Old Drunks" at an AA meeting. Always greatful to be a part of...Jan
Member: joe b.
Location: louisana
Date: 02 May 1999
Time: 01:43:13
hi iam joe b. i'm alocholic iwould like to dicuss princples for i'm still teachable my thaught process misguided by my drinking
Member: John
Location: CALIFORNIA
Date: 02 May 1999
Time: 02:16:58
Honesty, openmindedness, and willingness are the three basic ingrediants. Trust God, clean house, and help others, is the process. One step at a time is the method. When you cease trying to understand, you will know, without understanding.
Member: pedro a
Location:
Date: 02 May 1999
Time: 04:01:29
hi i am pedro and i am having trouble finding a narcoticus anonimous cyber meeting i need your help my e-mail is king_arian@hotmail.com
Member: pedro a
Location: mexico
Date: 02 May 1999
Time: 04:01:57
hi i am pedro and i am having trouble finding a narcoticus anonimous cyber meeting i need your help my e-mail is king_arian@hotmail.com
Member: Jack G.
Location:
Date: 02 May 1999
Time: 07:01:46
hi all...pedro, try: http://recovery.alano.org/NA/index.html. I wanted to say hi to all of you and really applaude you in your efforts to remain sober. I have been having some issues with drinking lately and am not surprised to find myself on this page. I have decided today not to have a drink today. Hopefully, with your help, I can do the same tomorrow and after that. God bless you all. Jack G.