Member: SLIPPERY
Location: SLIDING
Remote Name: 24.223.158.196
Date: 11 Apr 2004
Time: 08:13 AM -0400
Hello all, I would like to admit that while I an active drinker I was completely powerless over alcohol.That was over 15 years ago.It was only after I chose to stop drinking that I realized that I did indeed have power over the liquid in the bottle.I had the power to drink it or not drink it.So to this day I exercise the power to choose not to drink.Having that power is a good thing.Fow awhile after I stopped drinking I actually thought that the bottle had power over me,how naive of me.I soon realized that when the fog of alcohol lifted that I was the only one who had any power over myself.And if I did not use all of the power from within that the bottle would win.So I say to everyone,use your naturally given powers to choose a sober path for yourselves.It is the only way to be true to yourself,so do the next right thing and choose to be responsible to and for yourself.
Member: davidh
Location: Nashville T N
Remote Name: 68.52.234.57
Date: 11 Apr 2004
Time: 09:57 AM -0400
David H alocoholic, Good topic Im certainly powerless over alcohol when I take the first drink. But if I dont work this program and ask God each day to keep me sober, the insanity might return and I might start believing that maybe I can have just one, or two or 10, 20. You get the idea. My ways didnt keep me away from the bottle ever for to long, insanity always returned. Thank God for AA and the steps.
Member: Jenn P.
Location: Poconos
Remote Name: 216.222.244.87
Date: 11 Apr 2004
Time: 02:02 PM -0400
Use my own power? lol! I tried to do that for a long time, in fact daily for almost a year. I would say to myself every day "I'm not going to drink today", and yet every night would find me drunk again!!! I finally gave up and asked for help, and through a counselor was led to AA, where I have been able to stay sober one day at a time by the grace of a Higher Power whom I choose to call God, and the use of this Program. I have no illusions that I got myself sober. I tried to do just that for a long time, and it never worked for me. That's not to say that other's can't, this is just MY experience, strength and hope. Thank you for letting me share it and I hope someone is helped. Have a great day!!!
Member: Tracy
Location: Little ole England
Remote Name: 62.255.64.7
Date: 11 Apr 2004
Time: 02:12 PM -0400
Slippery took your 15 yrs to find your power?..where was it up your arse?? I had no power until I let god into my life...or should I say surrender...up till that point the only power I had was to get to the toilet and vomit if I made it taht far....to me power and god go hand in hand..the moment I excepted god I also excepted his power.
Member: WayneD
Location: Washington
Remote Name: 216.229.163.50
Date: 11 Apr 2004
Time: 03:24 PM -0400
Hello, my name is Wayne, I'm an alcoholic. I am finally in a place in my life where I want to take the steps needed to stay sober. I heard about this site and thought it may help me in doing so.
Member: Mike L
Location: kzoo Mi
Remote Name: 24.176.12.155
Date: 11 Apr 2004
Time: 03:54 PM -0400
Slippery- I think you hit the nail on the head when you said you "realized" you had the power to choose not to drink. I also think one also has to realize whether they are ready to quit or not. I said for years that I was going to quit drinks and drugs and I couldn't( or should I say, wouldn't) stop. I can look back on it know and can see that I really didn't want to quit and that's because I didn't think I could quit. What changed my thinking about this was working the steps. There might be things in the program I don't agree with, but it has shown me what I can do as long as I have faith in myself. If I ever went back out again, it's not going to be because I slipped, or I wasn't working the program or anything like that. If I go back out it's because I either lost faith in myself or I decided that I want to go back out, plain and simple. GO RED WINGS!!!
Member: AZbill
Location: azbill1172@cox.net
Remote Name: 68.231.160.24
Date: 11 Apr 2004
Time: 04:53 PM -0400
HI. Bill here, Alcoholic from Arizona. All the prayers in the world, all the Gods in the world, all the meetings in the world will not get me sober unless I want to get sober. The God of my understanding loves me so much that he gave me the free will to choose to drink or not to drink. Been that way ever since Eve talked to that snake. That is awesome freedom for me. Today, I understand the proper use of the will. (Step 10). I have recovered and have been given the power to help others and that insures my immunity from drinking. Thank you very much, I love you.. Bill
Member: Kathleen
Location: Florida
Remote Name: 209.165.13.74
Date: 11 Apr 2004
Time: 05:34 PM -0400
Hello all, Kathleen here alcoholic. ((((Wayne))) welcome. The steps were the key to freedom for me. Not sure if you've been in the program for a while or what but what worked for me was a lot of f2f meetings, where folks could look me in the eyes. Online is a wonderful asset to my program but I need the human touch. Powerless? Yeah, I was totally powerless over the following drinks if I took one, and I knew it, and I didn't care. I loved alcohol. Alcohol gave me power to be brave, beautiful and whatever. And it led me to a few years living on skid row. Today I know I have choices and the power to carry out my hp's will for me. After all, I ask hp to let me have "knowledge of your will for me and the power to carry it out."......and I have faith that my hp will do just that. The freedom from living the steps is indescribable sometimes. I love it. Thanks for being here and sharing. Kathleen ramblerkat@earthlink.net
Member: Corinne B.
Location: Northern CA
Remote Name: 66.81.39.220
Date: 11 Apr 2004
Time: 08:49 PM -0400
Welcome ((Wayne)) and I hope you find the answer to your alcoholic drinking. While you're searching for answers, just remember, there have been many different methods to help the alcoholic quit drinking alcoholically, but the track record of AA shows this to be the most effective method going. Here at an AA website, those of us who follow the suggested 12-Step program will guide you along those lines. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders who you will read here that have an entirely different agenda. I hope you have your powers of discernment with you as you visit. As to this power of choice in drink - sure, I could control my drinking, but I hated every time I had to. I always wanted to drink more than I did, especially on the nights when I had to try and control it. I usually almost always had a little more than I had planned to drink. Once I put a drink to my lips, I could not control the outcome for the night, whether that meant drinking only 2 or drinking 25; whether that meant going home at 7pm alone, or closing the bar at 2am and taking someone home with me, or going to someone else's... You get the picture. I had no more power over the choice to drink when I was actively in my disease than I do right now. The difference between then and now is that I no longer have the mental obsession that sets me up for taking a drink. I didn't choose to lift that mental obsession. I decided to turn my will and my life over to the care of these loving folks inside AA meetings when I first got here, and follow what they suggested at first. Eat ice cream, drink orange juice and honey, and especially drink something cold whenever the urge to drink alcohol would consume me in the very beginning. Our BB talks about it being exactly what it is about - helping you find a power that will solve your drink problem. We call it a higher power. Because my lower self will always choose what is worst for me. But my higher self, when aligned with the will of my higher power, will always choose what is best for me. It is the proper use of the will to align it with right living and right thinking. When I think I have the power to choose alcohol or not to choose it, what I really am deluded by is my lower self. I don't have that choice, because I made a decision in Step 3 to turn my will and my life over to the care of God... I know it is not His will that I drink, because it hurts me, as an alcoholic, to do so, and my HP does not want to see me be hurt, and does not want me to hurt myself any longer. It's not about choice once we've completed Step 3 - it's about understanding just what is meant by turning my will and my life over to a power greater than my own power - a power that will not harm me and will protect me, because it cares for me, because I no longer could behind my alcoholic thinking and drinking.
Member: Stephen C
Location: North Stratford,N.H.
Remote Name: 165.121.133.32
Date: 11 Apr 2004
Time: 09:41 PM -0400
kathleen,florida---HI,WELL GLAD TO SEE YOUR STILL AROUND,WELL TO WAYNE KEP COMING IT ONLY GETS BEETER,HELLO,EVERYONE ITS ME STEPHEN,AND HAPPY EASTER TO YOU ALL AND HOPE IT WAS A GOOD ONE FOR YOU ALL,WELL AS FOR A TOPIC I REALLY CANT COME UP WITH ONE AND THATS A FIRST FOR ME AND WELL,WHEN ANYONE NEEDS THE HAND OF A.A. IM HERE AND IM REPSONISABLE,SO IF YOU JUST NED TO TALK OR A FRIEND IM HERE OR YOU CAN REACH ME AT THE FOLLOWING;FRUITBOMBER20027@HOTMAIL.COM OR GERMGRABBER2000@YAHOO.COM (ALL LOWER CHASE) AND THANKS FOR ALL YOUR HELP AND HAVE A WONDERFUL EASTER.
Member: Lise
Location: Alberta
Remote Name: 24.71.223.142
Date: 11 Apr 2004
Time: 10:22 PM -0400
I had tried everything from holistic medicine, antabuse, RR, AA, and 4 times in treatment to stop drinking. Nothing worked. Finally one day it was pointed out to me by my eventual sponsor that I really didn't want to quit. I got really angry with him, but after I thought about for a long time I realized he was right. Like AZ said, nothing at that point would have worked. Once I got rid of the attitude, that I am an alcoholic and alcoholics drink, everything changed. Once I was willing to go to any lengths, and put my sobriety first I was amazed at how simple it actually is. I am definately powerless once that alcohol enters my system, I can't stop. But knowing what will happen puts the responsibility of taking that first drink where it lies, with me. I can choose to drink or not and today by the grace of something greater than me, and because I don't want to, I don't have to. The feeling of freedom is just so wonderful.
Member: Steven062802
Location: Boston
Remote Name: 24.131.190.84
Date: 11 Apr 2004
Time: 11:49 PM -0400
Hi there, My name is Steven and I am such an alcoholic. I have the wonderful luxury of having a family who wants to understand my alcoholism...something very new for me. When drinking (and for a while after I stopped) I didn't think that I was a very important part of my family. Tonight, after Easter dinner, a few of my closest family members and I spoke about alcoholism and recovery. They know that I can't drink in saftey but didn't understand why. So, we chatted...it was probably the closest I've felt to my family, well, ever. We talked of how I'm powerless over the first drink...if I take it. I don't know if I have any power over a drink...but I'll tell you that my eye lingers longer over a beer than it does a glass of ginger ale. My eye is caught by the way light travels through a glass of wine but I don't think a glass of milk looks anywhere as interesting. You know? The only thing close to power that I have is the occasional ability to see that I have choices. Sometimes I make the right ones...usually. One thing that my family seemed to understand the best is when I said that the booze isn't my problem...it's the crap inside my head that makes me want to reach for the booze. It's the not understanding that I have choices today...sometimes I forget that I have any choices and that's when I get in trouble. Before 06/28/02 I didn't know that I had a choice in picking/not picking up a drink. AA literature and my sponcor showing helping me work the steps gave me choices. Today, I chose not to drink and to be a part of a caring, wonderful family that I had denied myself. I wish you all a wonderful 24hrs without a drink. Steven
Member: Annie M
Location: Bloomsburg, PA
Remote Name: 66.33.230.90
Date: 11 Apr 2004
Time: 11:57 PM -0400
Hi all. Annie alcoholic here. Hey Jenn P. we're neighbors! Wayne, welcome! May I suggest you get to a face to face meeting. Many of the shares here are not the basics of AA. If I had come to this site first to get sober I would have been very confused. In early sobriety I was not up to controversy or trying to decipher the good advise from the bad. In a face to face meeting you will probably find some definate suggestions that will help. Good luck! Try to keep it simple. Don't take the first drink and get to a meeting a day for at least 90 days. And get a Big Book.
Member: Jenn A.
Location: Oak Harbor, Wa
Remote Name: 4.41.15.233
Date: 12 Apr 2004
Time: 01:43 AM -0400
Hi all, Happy Easter, I relized i was powerless over alcohol when I tried to quit a few times with out any help. I took me getting a D.U.I. to relize I needed help. So now I go to A.A. and also tlak to a counselor. I've been sober for 1 year and 1 month.
Member: Rarely
Location: rontherocket@hotmail.com
Remote Name: 206.45.167.139
Date: 12 Apr 2004
Time: 02:58 AM -0400
Like the guy said, " I could quit any time," In fact I quit so ofen I got tired of quitting and quit quitting. So what ever happened to the saying, " alcohol was only a symptom of our under lying problems, without alcohol what do I do when Im lonely? what do I do to relax after a tough day? when I have a flu or cough then what do I do? what about when the wife and kids leave and Im sitting in that big empty house alone? and what about when Im so mad and want to get even so bad, what about when nothing goes my way and I feel so sorry for myself after gettin fired? and what about when the only friends I got are all drinkers? Sure its easy to quit but how in hell do I stay quit when I hate the whole world and God and just want to die. Thank God for A.A. who taught me not how to quit, but how to stay sober for 24 hours at a time. and for all those members who knew how to stay sober and showed me precisely how to recover form those things I mentioned and a raft of other things I never mentioned, So if you think you are in control and have the choice as to drink or stay sober, Why don't you write a book about it? Im sure theres enough fools out there who will be intrested, Then on the other hand they may want to buy a bottle rather than the book. One of the first things I learnt was " WE ADMITTED WE WERE POWERLESS OVER ALCOHOL." and when you get that far in the program of A.A. you'll realize that you just done the first half of step one. Love you.
Member: roze
Location: Penna.
Remote Name: 205.188.117.14
Date: 12 Apr 2004
Time: 08:30 AM -0400
roze,alcoholic.what a great topic & what a great thing to finally know,I AM POWERLESS!!!!the burden of being in control of everything that went right or wrong,of drinking or not,I can now turn over to my HP.personally f2f meetings daily help me remember this.i now have 10 months sober for the first time in 30yrs.it took me a long time to get this messed up,so i don't expect too much of myself.but by the grace of HP i can become a loving, valued person
Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Remote Name: 66.119.33.170
Date: 12 Apr 2004
Time: 09:16 AM -0400
Craig L another “real alcoholic” (page 21). I am powerless over alcohol. I have no faith in my will power, because there is an aspect of me, which wants me miserable and dead. It is “cunning baffling and powerful” and it is always trying to convince me that today, I have the power to battle alcohol. Thanks to the steps and AA, I have had a spiritual awakening and now I know a conscious contact with God. Every time I think about alcohol even fleetingly, I can reach out to the ever-present hand of God and walk through one more day happy, joyous and free.
Member: joe W
Location: Lufkin, TX
Remote Name: 66.76.20.235
Date: 12 Apr 2004
Time: 10:19 AM -0400
Hey guys, Chicken or the egg. Beginning or ending, Christmas or Easter. It happened to me and I never had any power over alcohol. I knew from the very beginning that what I did was very different from those that controled themselves. I was not like them in nearly every aspect of my life. The more than I knew that I was different the more I wanted to be like them or to be liked by them. Have you noticed that so far every thing is I. Nothing is we. Self will run riot! Just like the BB says. I got myself drunk, I kept myself drunk and sure enough I made it. I bacame an alcoholic in the eyes of everyone around me except myself. I ws the good ole boy and they were the enemy. We have a built in balance of right and wrong. When the scale tips we know and we are aware that what we are doing is not right. Fear in a million forms for every ocassion kept me there. Until I was so consumed that I could no longer fight and surrendered to the truth that I could not stop without help could I win. I got to AA by a power greater than myself in a desperate plea for help to a God that I had little understanding of and the Higher Power worked. I melted away and became we. we came to believe that the program would work if we worked it. We grew and were restored to sanity and our will was returned us. Sure I have to get up in the morning. I have to put on my shoes and I have to go to work and I have to say thanks. By doing so I have enjoyed over thirty five years of saying "no thanks" when ask if I want to drink. I have a responsibility to the others to be there for them as they were there for me. I hope that you understand we care because of the spirit given to us by the program. Get a sponsor and together walk the happy road to destiny.
Member: AndyD
Location: Detroit
Remote Name: 68.41.155.151
Date: 12 Apr 2004
Time: 04:35 PM -0400
Intersting topic here. I think that we all start out believing that we are the only power that we need to stop. Then, by the third, fourth, etc....time that we start to quit drinking, it can be realized that you need more. Be it a God, person, group, idea, there has to be something more then just yourself. If you are indeed an alcoholic as many of us admit freely, you can't do it yourself. That bottle is so hard to overcome that working the steps or procedures of you system can even become your power until you find the strength in yourself. Sooner or later, I think that we can all rely on ourselves, but the higher power can never be ignored or you will probably end up back at step one again. -Andy
Member: Adam H.
Location: New York, NY
Remote Name: 64.232.156.194
Date: 12 Apr 2004
Time: 05:03 PM -0400
Adam, alcoholic. I am amazed at people who came to AA and conclude that have a "choice" about drinking today. I'm sure it works great on the days they don't want to drink, but I'm curious to know what folks like that do on those days when the pain of doing life sober is so bad that drinking seems like a good idea...just ANYTHING to not feel the pain for five minutes. I don't know about anyone else, but in those situations, if I even _THINK_ I have the power of choice when it comes to a drink, then drinking will look better by the second and any memories of the alcoholic hell I was rescued from will barely come to mind. On those days, I'll gladly take grace from God so I don't have to take a drink and go back to living the way I used to live. See, I know there's another drunk in me, but I don't know if I'll ever get another chance to live sober again. So there can't be a choice for someone like me when it comes to alcohol or I'm screwed. That's what powerless means to me...not just admitting that I was beat when I came in to AA, but also conceding that I'll _NEVER_ have the upper hand when it comes to booze. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Charlie Darling
Location: Key West FL
Remote Name: 68.153.65.30
Date: 12 Apr 2004
Time: 05:15 PM -0400
Charlie Darling a very grateful recovering ALCHOLIC. Welcome Wayne it does get better. I Know for sure. Yes I am definatly powerless over Alchol, and it made me do things I would never think of doing such as hurt the people who loved and cared for me, I never realized it until I stopped, and it all came out. But today I choose to be a kinder gentler person not only to everyone else, but also to myself. When I drank I thought I could do anything, but never did, and now today since I stopped drinking over 7 years ago, my life became a place I want to be happy in.I work the steps to best of my ability, and try to carry the message to the still suffering Alcholic, and in Key West there are many. My life is so much better, and the promises do come true, and still keep coming true with each day. As long as I follow the AA program, and pray to my HP. I never ever thought I could be blessed all this much, and I owe it all to AA, the 12 steps, and staying cyber, and most of all a great sponsor. God Bless and I Love you all. Peace and Love Charlie kwduke_1999@yahoo.com
Member: Sherril M.
Location: ILLINOIS
Remote Name: 65.146.116.13
Date: 12 Apr 2004
Time: 09:48 PM -0400
HI; MY NAME IS SHERRIL AND I AM AN ALCOHOLIC. I AM POWERLESS OVER ALCOHOL. I WAS AN ALCOHOLIC IN EVERYONE ELSE'S EYES EXCEPT MY OWN. I NEVER THOUGHT I WAS HURTING ANYONE EXCEPT MYSELF. I ALWAYS THOUGHT I COULD HANDLE MY ALCOHOL TOO, BUT AFTER THE FIRST DRINK THEN IT WAS TWO, TEN OR TWENTY OR IF IT WAS CLOSING THE BARS DOWN AND GOING OUT OF TOWN TO BARS THAT STAYED OPENED LATER. I WAS JUST HAVING FUN. WHEN I CAME TO MY FIRST AA MEETING I WAS SCARED, LONELY AND FULL OF FEAR THAT I COULD NOT STOP DRINKING AND MY LIFE WOULD STILL YET BE MEANINGLESS. BUT SIX YEARS LATER I'M STILL SOBER AND HAVE A NEW LIFE BECAUSE OF PEOPLE THAT WORK THE AA PROGRAM AND THAT ARE THERE TO SHARE THEIR EXPEREINCE STRENGTH AND HOPE WITH ME AND OTHERS. I PRAY TO MY HP EVERY MORNING TO KEEP ME SOBER AND I THANK MY HP AT NIGHT FOR ANOTHER 24 HOURS SOBER. I READ MY BIG BOOK ON A DAILY BASES AND GO TO MEETINGS. THANK FOR LETTING ME SHARE.
Member: Nan. D.
Location: Pocono Mt. Pa
Remote Name: 141.158.156.44
Date: 12 Apr 2004
Time: 10:39 PM -0400
Hi Everyone, It is sooo good to be back. I remember years ago when my friend started this site. It was a wonderful thing, and I'm glad you guys are all still here keeping it going. I am just coming back after a long and miserable relapse. I know I have choices whether to pick up or not. By the grace of God, today I choose to stay sober. I am making two meetings a day, with help from my friends in AA coming and picking me up to take me, and for their love and support. (thanks Jen). It does get worse, this was the worse I ever was, people say you pick up where you left off, with me I started off alot worse then when I put it down. So for anyone thinking about picking up again, I can testify it doesn't get any better. This site is good for me when I am home, but I agree that Wayne should make a real meeting. When you are face to face with people to see expressions and hear tonealities, I believe it is better. If someone is disabled and cannot get out of the house, this is a fabulous tool. Well Thanks for letting me share, and God willing you will see me often. Good night. nan_dalton@yahoo.com
Member: Mike L
Location: kzoo Mi
Remote Name: 24.176.12.155
Date: 12 Apr 2004
Time: 11:32 PM -0400
Adam- Personally, I need to have the choice whether to drink or not. If I told myself I could not drink, eventually I would have to prove myself wrong. On the days where life is tough and I would like to drink, knowing it's my choice somehow helps me to see where my choices lead. If I drink, I'm back to square one. If I don't drink, sooner or later it will get better. Maybe it's just a way of playing mind games with myself, butI need to have that choice.
Member: Bill G.
Location: Mountain Hide-awayhn
Remote Name: 24.10.183.201
Date: 13 Apr 2004
Time: 02:16 AM -0400
I could dry out for a good strech of time. But I always ended up back at the bar eventually and never had intended to stop in. It was my thinking that messed me up. I got dry but not sober. The program of AA has taught me to act on my problems in life, not react. To trust in my HP. Look for ways to be at peace with my self and then others. And thank all of you for being here and being you. :) Bill G
Member: Karen A.
Location: Florida
Remote Name: 12.217.158.41
Date: 13 Apr 2004
Time: 05:29 AM -0400
Hello, I'm Karen and I am an alcoholic, Glad to be sober today! I'm still powerless over alcohol. My sponsor explained it to me this way: Alcohol has power over you, you do things you normally would not do, ie: lie, steel, cheat, neglect your responsiblities, etc..., It tells you to protect it, to do anything to perserve it." When I looked at it that way it was easier for me to surrender. I am 12 yrs sober and each day I am still in "AWE" that my higher power, whom I choose to call God, chose me, that he answered my prayer to relieve my obsession and complusion to drink. I made a mess of my life, legal and family issues, I was unable to complete anything, like my education. This program helped me to rebuild my life, I was able to deal with my consquences legal, cultivate and rebuild my family relationships, and go to 5 yrs of college and maintain a professional job. I have a wonderful life and I owe it all to this program, I even have a beautiful garden I cultivate. Have a blessed day, Love, Karen A.
Member: Babette
Location: Jerusalem
Remote Name: 82.166.151.150
Date: 13 Apr 2004
Time: 11:02 AM -0400
Nan D))) I was in your shoes many times. The relapses are always worse than before. That's because it progresses even while we're not drinking. So, whatever amount of time you were sober, this lovely disease progressed as if you were drinking all along. That sucks, huh. It sounds like you're doing the right things.I wish you luck. I remember the last time I drank. I woke in the middle of the night and didn't know whether to throw up, try to sleep (impossible because my nerves were screaming) and I HAD to have another drink. I HAD to have it. I didn't want it. I was shaking so bad, the fears and paranoia were at a peak it was too late to call anyone (plus I already drank). A few ladylike slugs from a bottle of vodka and I was ok again. I fell asleep for a short while and the whole process repeated itself. I knew in my heart then that I was powerless over alcohol the second it enters my body. Fortunagely someone took me to the hospital and I was detoxed for what I hope is my final time. Peace, Babette
Member: Barb Mc
Location: PA
Remote Name: 68.163.63.247
Date: 13 Apr 2004
Time: 11:39 AM -0400
Good morning. Barbara, Alcoholic. As my one sponsor put it when I was drinking my higher power was alcohol. Didn't matter what form it came in as soon as I put alcohol in my system it took over. Alcohol controlled me like nothing or nobody else ever did. I didn't drink to get high, I drank to pass out. The second alcohol hit my system I was a doomed to drink until I either passed out or threw up. If I threw up I just continued to drink until I finally passed out. Oblivion was the goal. Coming into the rooms of AA I knew if I drank again I would finally reach the ultimate black out. When I think back I should now only be a bad memory for my family. God however had other plans for me. He has lifted the obsession to drink and kept me sober even during the most trying of times. I now have complete faith in my Higher Power. For simplicity I call the Higher Power, God. Another phrase my sponsor used often was "if you can't believe in God just believe in the power of Good. And pretty soon as you live a sober life you will drop that second "o" in good and it will become God." I very seldom questioned that man and he died sober with 46 years in the program. He had what I wanted and he tried his best to pass it on to me and who ever had the good fortune to ask him to sponsor them. I have watched people come in and out of the rooms and have never been able to understand why someone would want to pick up another drink espically when they have seen what being sober can bring to them. Yes, it is hard work. Yes, there are times when life sucks. Yes, there are still times when I think a drink would be nice. But then I think alcohol won't make a good time better and it won't make a bad time better. It will turn a good time bad and a bad time worse. I sit in the rooms and listen to newcomers or someone coming back and I learn from them. I hear my departed sponsor whisper in my ear when temptation strikes. All that stuff he told me still plays in my mind. Today I choose to use it. Then I can talk to another alcoholic. Call my living sponsor and hear her repeat what the other taught me before he moved to the heavenly meeting. Before I know it I'm back on track. Miracles happen and I'm one of them. I'm greedy and don't want to give back the gift God gave me. I'd like to keep it until I join all those other alcoholics that left this earth. So I will go to any lengths to stay sober. I'll go to meetings, I'll talk to another alcoholic, I'll do service work, I'll use cyber space when I need it, I'll talk to God on a daily basis, and meditate daily so I can get His answer. I know what waits for me if I pick up and frankly I don't want the hell alcohol has in store for me. I know what waits out there because I listen to all those that choose to give alcohol one more try. It doesn't get any better. If I make alcohol my Higher Power again I will be powerless over everything. If I stick with God and AA I can choose to live a very happy life with all the bumps life has. Hugs to all.
Member: Mark
Location: Albany, NY
Remote Name: 192.235.19.111
Date: 13 Apr 2004
Time: 11:51 AM -0400
I must say my friend Slippery has brought up an excellent topic. There's little doubt in my mind that choice is what is at the very core of actual sobriety/recovery and even not drinking in and of itself. I too bought the entire disease concept silliology at one point in time, and I understand why people buy into it, it's just NOT reality, that's all. Oh, it's ok to thnk so for awhile, but sooner or later whether it is a disease or not, the power of choice unquestionably returns. There's little doubt that there's a genetic predispostion sure, but yet the initial choice is still ALL up to any single human being to make. I had to understand it was BAD choice and start making the right one of NOT drinking like a pig anymore before I could move beyond all the game-playing associated with the entire concept of it being a "disease." The even funnier thing is that I got spend a period of time researching the entire debate and came to the final conclusion that while it is maybe a little of both, it in the end still comes down to a simple choice about what I want to do and how I want to live my life---Drunk or Sober? That's the choice we all have, I've chosen sober and I would like to think if you are visiting this site, that you would to. However if you don't, that's ok too as maybe you can do what I choose not to... Either way, I hope you're all Blessed with the Grace you need to make the proper choices in every aspect of your lives, not just to drink or not to drink... Peace...
Member: Sean
Location: Ireland
Remote Name: 194.125.142.95
Date: 13 Apr 2004
Time: 02:19 PM -0400
Hi. Sean Alcoholic. After seven months of going to meetings I began to go insane. Meeting makers make it? Don't dronk and go to meetings? I don't think so. Not for the real alcoholic(me). You see, I lost my choice in drink some time back. I can never regain that chioce. Left to me I will choose to drink. When I came to this realisation I understood how screwed I was and started going off the wall. In desperation I sought for something to save me and found someone who carried the message and started to take me through the steps. I can't keep myself sober. If I do the ground work and play my part god can and will keep me sober. Choice? Power to choose not to drink? If I believe that then I will drink. Conscious contact with god through 1 to 9 and 10,11 and 12.Life or death? There is A solution. Not a few.
Member: Tihearah K.
Location: Charleston SC
Remote Name: 152.163.253.70
Date: 13 Apr 2004
Time: 05:02 PM -0400
IM AN ALCOHOLIC NAME TIHEARAH, IVE BEEN GOING THREW A LOT THIS WEEK. MY HUSBAND AND I JUST SEPERATED AND I AM NOT TAKING IT WELL. IT'S ONLY BEEN A WEEK, BUT IT FEEL LIKE FOREVER. THE PAIN IS SO GREAT, IT FEELS LIKE I CAN'T BREATH. I'M USING EVERY TOOL I LEARNED WHEN I FIRST GOT HERE. PRAYER, GOING TO AS MANY MEETINGS AS I CAN, TALKING TO MY SPONSOR OR SHALL I SAY CRYING TO MY SPONSOR. THE FIRST THING I WAS TOLD WHEN I FIRST GOT HERE, WAS NO MATTER WHAT, "DON'T DRINK,ONE DAY AT A TIME." THAT APPLIES TO ALL AREAS OF MY LIFE. I GUESS THE TOPIC CAN BE, KEEP IT SIMPLE,OR USING THE TOOLS WE LEARNED, IN ALL OUR AFFAIRS. NO MATTER WHAT DON'T DRINK! THANKS FOR LETTING ME SHARE.
Member: Harry
Location: WPB FLA.
Remote Name: 68.71.208.187
Date: 13 Apr 2004
Time: 06:49 PM -0400
Hi all, Choice not to drink? O.k I'll buy that. I also have the choice to shoot myself in the head, jump off the roof and beat up on people. None of those are good choices or will solve my everyday problems which is the "ISM" at the end of alcohol. Its Still Me! The fact is, this alcoholic has no choice weather to drink or not. I gave up on that when I honestly experienced step 1. Once I admitted to being powerless over alcohol, I cashed in my bargining chips. I can't plea bargin or make deals about drinking. I'm powerless over the stuff. But thats only part of the equation. I also learned that when I started step 4 "That alcohol was but a symtom, we had to get down to causes and conditions" That meant I had to start looking at myself and why I did the things that I had done. "Slippery" is rare. I've also heard and known people who simply stopped drinking after many years and did it without the need for a 12-step program. If that's what worked for them then who the hell am I to judge? My life was unmanagsble, so far be it from me to presume that I know enough to manage anyone else's. As for myself, I NEED A.A. I NEED The 12-step program, I ENJOY the fellowship I have through all of this. I NEED Good Orderly Direction in my life because I need a program that will keep me diciplined. If some people are able to stop drinking, be content, and provide happiness to those around them without going to A.A. Then that's fine, the planet needs more good people. But to log on and tell many of us that do require the direction and joy that A.A provides us that we could or even SHOULD do it the same way as Slippery, is a real diservice to people like our friend Wayne who is just trying to find out what will work for him. By the way, I stopped smoking cigarettes after 25 years without the need of patches, hypnosis, or another 12-step program. When I stopped I was smoking 2 packs a day. I consider myself "blessed" that the compulsion to smoke was lifted. I don't consider myself "better", strong willed or anything of the sort. Nor do I consider those smokers unable to stop as being "Weak" or less than. But for me to suggest to anyone else that using any other means to stop as un-necessary because I didn't need it, is self reicheous, arrogant and totally dismissive of the needs of others. I was able to do that with cigarettes, but was totally unable to do it with drinking. I needed the wisdom and fellowship from all of you to help me through this. I still do. Wayne, keep comming back and connsider yourself blessed that you logged on to this site and demonstrated the courage to share. Slippery, consider yourself lucky that you did it the way that was right for you. Good luk.
Member: Bonny G
Location: Hot Springs, AR
Remote Name: 152.163.253.70
Date: 13 Apr 2004
Time: 08:31 PM -0400
Bonny, grateful recoverying alcoholic, who chose to put her trust in God, on my knees, and the 12 steps of AA, along with the fellowship in order not to pick up the drink again. I had to trust in someone, physically, to reach out to, AA Meetings, and God, my HP, to relieve me of the obsession of the alcohol. I know without a doubt that had I not been shown a better way to live I'd be dead today. The AA program, 12 steps and people, have made my life worth something today. I am able to make clear decisions, therefore I have choices. Even coming to the web-site allows me the freedom to choose to respond to a topic or stay silent and not share. I'm glad for everyone's input, just like at face to face meetings, because I still continue to learn after all these years. Thanks!
Member: Bill S
Location: St Petersburg Fl
Remote Name: 24.144.82.199
Date: 13 Apr 2004
Time: 08:54 PM -0400
I've been sober over 19 years. I'm now powerless over cookies. Have one? Have 10. They will not, however, kill me. Bill
Member: Sue P
Location: Jindera Australia
Remote Name: 211.29.136.11
Date: 14 Apr 2004
Time: 07:24 AM -0400
Hi I am Sue Alcoholic and grateful member. This is my first online meeting and have really enjoyed the meeting so far. I am 5 years Sober have a husband whose also a member and four young children of my own, four step children(older and not living with us) and two step Grandkids. I manage to live a happpy life today thanks to AA and the Programme. I understand today that I am Powerless over alcohol and always was although until coming to AA had no conciousness of being powerless or powerful just of being one of the living dead. The fact that I am powerless and God has all power was a huge relief Today I am Free Thankyou for sharing.
Member: Dave F.
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Remote Name: 24.76.142.122
Date: 14 Apr 2004
Time: 08:38 AM -0400
Hi - I'm Dave and I'm an alcoholic. I functioned (I thought) very well. I was self motivated, believed strongly in being a self-starter. I was sucessful in business, motivating, training and supervising people. There was one thing that gave me a huge problem. My inability to stop drinking. I tried all the standard cures, quit here and there sometimes for weeks, but came to realize that after almost 40 years of drinking, I had no power to choose whether or not to drink. Admitting that was the toughest thing in my life. Admitting that I needed help - could not do it on my own was the key. My group and my higher power and the program of alcoholics anonymous have removed my craving and as long as I keep it simple and practice the program one day at a time I'm okay. It's been 6 years, in 24 hour sections. For me, that's how it has to be. And it's a great life without that monkey on my back. But he's waiting for me, anytime I wander from the path.
Member: Demetri
Location: NJ
Remote Name: 67.82.109.97
Date: 14 Apr 2004
Time: 12:18 PM -0400
Hey Family Demetri alcoholic addict here. I am POWERLESS over alcohol over drugs and alcohol. I am most definately aflicted with a disease which many other people do not suffer from. Is the disease mental or physical it's both is it a disease YES. Just as a lunatic suffers from the disease of mental illness I suffer from a disease of mental obsession regarding alcohol which is what makes this process of recovery so important I have to remember everyday that I am POWERLESS over alcohol or else I may just make a choice to take that first drink again and allow this disease to kill me. To imply that I am now powerful because I can make the decision not to drink is to play a dangerous game with my recovery I may just start to believe that I am now powerful enough not to take the second drink or third or fourth. I am POWERLESS over alcohol my last drunk I only had three beers I set a limit and by the grace of God stuck to that limit the only propblem is I drank those three beers for six hours and obsessed over whether I was drinking too fast or to slow those three beers showed me just how sick I am how DISEASED my thinking is. I am grateful today for that drunk if you could call it that as I didn't even get buzzed, I am grateful because I was given the clarity to see my disease up close and remember how it works the next day. Thanks for a great topic Slippery. Love one another as I have loved you. Demetri
Member: Rich
Location: Colorado
Remote Name: 209.244.4.106
Date: 14 Apr 2004
Time: 04:53 PM -0400
Here are the choices that I have today (as far as I know). Choice 1: Do I want to stay sober today…Y/N? If yes, then ask higher power for help to do so. Higher Power will drop a life line. Choice 2: Do I choose to grab the life line…Y/N? If yes, then I take the steps necessary to grab the life line. For me this means putting the plug in the jug, reading the big book, getting to a meeting and working the steps. I have choices, and I make my choices by taking action…or not.
Member: Cyndy R
Location: placerville, california
Remote Name: 63.204.74.64
Date: 14 Apr 2004
Time: 06:49 PM -0400
Hi all, i'm an alcoholic and my name is cyndy. This is my first time here. Powerlessness!! You know I had it all covered when the county took the kids, it wasn't my drinking that did it, the prisons, and jails and numerous institutions i've vacationed in my disease wasn't a result of my drinking. No They were out to get me I tell you. Leaving my mom in a hallway riddled with cancer and covered in feces wasn't a result of my disease. I think the powerlessness came with not being able to stop the pain no matter how much I drank. It no longer worked, it no longer helped. I was at the most horrible emotional bottom and for me to admit I was not powerless was saying i'm better then God. It's because of this program, these steps and the unity of other alcoholics i'm not in pain today, I have my babies in my life today. I'm four almost five years clean today!!! Thanks you guys for letting me share!
Member: Joe B.
Location: Charleston,W.V.
Remote Name: 64.12.117.14
Date: 14 Apr 2004
Time: 08:50 PM -0400
Hi gang. Powerless. The ability to control. You name it. cookies,booze,sex,power ete.The simpleest description I saw was put the plug in the jug and try all the rest if you need it. Ourinternal thinking is out to lunch & needs a overhaul.Im doing ok today, sober 25 yrs. plus, ONEDAYATATIME.Thanks.Joe B.
Member: stuartf
Location: london uk
Remote Name: 81.154.65.138
Date: 14 Apr 2004
Time: 09:48 PM -0400
"Lack of power, that was our dilemma. We had to have a power by which we could live and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves. Obviously. But where were we to find this Power? Well, that's exactly what this book is about. Its main aim is to help you find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem." Big Book p45.....Some of you so called alkies ought to read it, it's worth a look. I think what it says is that if you can stay stopped by your own power, why would you need AA? Ya see, AA is for people who are powerless over alcohol...heavy drinkers and alcohol abusers ain't necessarily the same as us alkies. I really wanted to stop...every fibre in my body, mind and spirit...every rational and sensible part of me was saying. "Don't do it Stu." Next minute I'm necking a bottle of whisky. Self knowledge and awareness served be zip. Only a final and utter admission that I was beat was the start of my recovery. It ain't me that keeps me sober. I tried that. It's about powerlessness; it's about God. So all you so called "alkies" that think you have choice over alcohol..you ain't or you ain't alky
Member: Mike L
Location: kzoo Mi
Remote Name: 24.176.12.155
Date: 15 Apr 2004
Time: 12:05 PM -0400
There was a time in my recovery where if someone said I didn't think a certain way or believe in something that I didn't believe meant I might not be an alcoholic, I would be out drinking the next chance I got.Just as only I can decide if I'm an alcoholic, no one can tell me I'm not.
Member: Erin C
Location: Atlanta GA
Remote Name: 66.119.34.39
Date: 15 Apr 2004
Time: 08:59 PM -0400
Hi, Erin alcoholic, on the topic of discussions i just wanna say that i'm really glad i took the suggestions given to me and got a sponsor, She is there to call me out on my BS when i need it and she pulls my head out of my butt for me a lot of the time....She has taught me a lot about the book and the 12 steps that i couldn't have learned on my own by just going to meetings. This is my 1st time to share at an online meeting, I'm just really struggeling right now and I needed to talk to some other alcoholics, of course i've already called my sponsor today and called two other women in the program but that was eirlier and i'm sure everyone knows how your day can go from perfect to crappy in about 2 minutes. I think i'm feeling better already. Anyway I'm trying to reach out for help more....something that i wasn't doing before... Thanks
Member: mark m
Location: columbia tn
Remote Name: 152.163.253.70
Date: 15 Apr 2004
Time: 10:16 PM -0400
hello to all, mark here,alcoholic it states (in the book) the fact is that most alcoholics for reasons yet obscure have lost the power of choice in drink page 24
Member: mark m
Location: columbia tn
Remote Name: 152.163.253.70
Date: 15 Apr 2004
Time: 10:37 PM -0400
mark here again HEY SLIP READ THE BOOK (PG 24) then tell me that you have a choice to drink
Member: Dean
Location: Fargo
Remote Name: 24.117.105.42
Date: 15 Apr 2004
Time: 10:58 PM -0400
I read today in the BB that my sobriety is not dependent on people, but on my relationship to God. lots of good stuff here tonight. thanks
Member: Jeff
Location: SD CA
Remote Name: 198.81.26.103
Date: 15 Apr 2004
Time: 11:25 PM -0400
Hi, My name is Jeff and I am an alcoholic. This is a good topic and some of the shares above got me to open up my book today and that is a good thing. For me the power of choice and the insanity of drinking described in chapter three are closely related. (Jim is my favorite) The last time I drank there is no question that I chose to drink. Why in the world I would choose to drink knowing full well the rotten things that happen when I drink? That is the twist that seperates me from a normal drinker. ...........This is why I need to believe and act under a certain, simple program described in 1st 164 pages of my big book. Choices are difficult for me sometimes but I have not chosen to drink for more than 6 yrs ...that is not me - Thanks for being here and showing me how; and thanks to God and AA.
Member: chuckm
Location: Alberta
Remote Name: 209.197.146.4
Date: 16 Apr 2004
Time: 05:17 AM -0400
I'm Chuck, an alcoholic. By following my Operators Manual (Big Book) I have RECOVERED from a seemingly hopeless condition of mind and body. I never had, do not now have a choice whether to drink or not. Before I came to AA I had a sick mind. Eroneous, negative beliefs gave me negative thinking which made me miserable. The only way I could escape was to drink. By the time I got to AA alcohol was only medicine that I needed to get through the day. Because it is a progressive disease as the years went by the medicine was less effective. I did not know what my problem was. I knew that alcohol was a solution for my misery, and that it was a lousy solution. I lost all hope of finding a better solution. I did not come to AA voluntarily, but at my first meeting I gained hope that maybe there was a solution and I did not have to be alone. The reason I am powerless over alcohol is because my body is allergic to alcohol. Allergy means an abnormal reaction to a chemical. Abnormal means that most people don't have this reaction. My allergy sets up a craving for more after I take the first drink. Because there is no cure for an allergy I must not take that first drink. I am powerless over alcohol and always will be. So my sick mind makes me take the first drink and my allergic body gets me drunk. I have no choice. The rest of the steps are designed to change my sick mind to a healthy positive mind.Step 10 in the Big Book says my desire to drink was removed by God. It says I am not fighting anything including alcohol. I say that I am a non-drinker now. Because I have a healthy mind now there is no way that I would ever take a drink. I have no choice any more. I live steps 11 & 12 daily because I never want to go back. I hope that newcomers will find a sponsor that will guide them through the steps in the Big Book.Try to ignore all the opinions expressed here and in meetings. Opinion is defined as judgements based on less than the facts. I wish you the Peace and Serenity that I have found in the last half of my life.
Member: PappyPaw
Location: Sourt Central Mi
Remote Name: 66.231.36.53
Date: 16 Apr 2004
Time: 06:56 AM -0400
I am PappyPaw and I am a grateful recovering alcoholic. As an alcoholic I suffer from Alcohol Izum not Alcohol Wuzum and I am still powerless over alcohol. I have seen many an alcoholic who quit drinking but none who managed to stay quit drinking. With the Power of God I found a way to live where I do not have to drink. My life this day is a result of the Power of God from who all Power flows. Moses took credit for getting the water from the rock. It is God’s Power that turned me from the power of John Barleycor and it is God's Loving Power that has kept me away from this insane maddening destruction. I cant—He can—I think I will let Him. PappyPaw
Member: mike
Location: mount forest ,ont.canada
Remote Name: 65.95.29.155
Date: 16 Apr 2004
Time: 07:03 AM -0400
Hi I am Mike a greatful recovering alcoholic I have a QUESTION on tradition six should a sponsor offer a loan of some amount of money . would it affect the way you feel about the sponor and the program because I am now in a rock and a hard place with mine not returning phone calls that he made to me and I didn't attend the meeting that we goto and and I don't what people bugging me about it . THANKS
Member: Shirleyann.D
Location: Montreal, Canada
Remote Name: 64.228.176.10
Date: 16 Apr 2004
Time: 08:29 AM -0400
Good Morning fellow travellers, Until the fog lifted which took almost my first three years in sobriety, I realized that until I surrendered to the God of my understanding and accept his power I could not be happy joyous and free. I am now sober & serene for 11 years and counting.One day at a time. lots of luv ShirleyAnn
Member: David B.
Location: Alaska
Remote Name: 24.237.55.153
Date: 16 Apr 2004
Time: 09:20 AM -0400
If I were powerless over alcohol on this day, how could I walk past a bar or package store without running in sceaming "I cant do it! Gimme a drink!" I am powerless over alcohol when it is in my body. The obsession made me want to put it in my body. I no longer carry the obsession, it has been lifted. Lifted not lost. Lost is when I dont know where it is. I know that it is in GOD'S hands, thats where it is at. He is the one who lifted it. Today I chose to let him continue to carry it. I sure as heck dont want it back!
Member: Peggy E
Location: Salem, Oregon
Remote Name: 24.20.247.153
Date: 17 Apr 2004
Time: 06:44 PM -0400
Hi! I'm Peggy. I'm an alcoholic. I am powerless over alcohol. I take the drink AND the drink takes me! It takes me to strange places with strange people then I become a strange person in a strange place. I go into blackouts - very scarey! I haven't had to do that in 26 years one day at a time - thank you, God! Thank you, God, for one more day clean and sober.