Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Remote Name: 24.21.20.252
Date: 21 Mar 2004
Time: 08:15 AM -0500
When I was drinking I used to imagine all the wonderful things I was going to do with my life. Go hiking and camping, start my own buisness, win the lottery LOL. Then the alcohol would remove any motivation I might have been able to muster. I spent years living in that fantasy world. Today, I usually follow through on my ideas, but I find a lot of resistance to change. I get comfortable in my horrible job or bad relationships and find it difficult to move on sometimes. If I don't move the resentments and fears will eventually bring me back to a place where life is not worth living and I might drink again. I am making some big changes over the next few weeks, so how about living with faith in change for a topic.
Member: Jeff T.
Location: Ne.
Remote Name: 12.108.212.172
Date: 21 Mar 2004
Time: 11:44 AM -0500
Living with faith... When i first sobered up my sponcer told me not to make any big changes in my life for the 1st year, so i stuck with my dead end job. At the time i was living with my parents. I had nothing but time & big plans too. Two years later i had a new job a new wife (and her two sons) & a new house. We filled the house & our new lives with new stuff. Looking back i had no idea that as long as i kept the faith & did what i thought my God wanted me to, that things would work out the way they are ment too. I guess that is called "blind faith". I was told that we can make plans but we should leave the results up to God. Call i "blind faith" if you will but it works for me. I can complicate the simplest things, but i do as i wish & leave the results up to God. After all He gave us free will. If my little plans dont work out then i guess i was`nt God`s will for me, & i learn from it. One time i put $500 bucks downpayment on some land out in the country side on a hill with a view to put a modular on it & build this big garage to work in, it was going to be great. We had the plans, the banks blessings & all. The wife & i went to sign the note & we both felt really uneasy about it. We talked about it & decided to wait a year & save a few more bucks to put down on the loan. A few months later my work load changed & my wages went down. It would have broke me paying for that house out in the country. I have also learned to listen to that little inner voice more often. It may be God talking & i`m to deaf to hear him. I can make plans but i can`t plan the outcome. Luckily i was out only $500 bucks & not a whole lot more. "Faith without works is dead". There was no way we could have made the payments in the first place let alone been happy. We are city people any way. (LOL) Life is a learning thing & i am going to remain teachable as long as i try & do Gods will for me. My sponcer keeps telling me "it will all work out like its "spose" to, "cord`n" to Gods will" (LOL) Thanks.
Member: davidh
Location: Nashville T N
Remote Name: 68.52.234.57
Date: 21 Mar 2004
Time: 12:42 PM -0500
David H alcoholic, Good topic. I drank and lived in this fantasy world myself. THe biggest fantasy I had was that; if only things would work out the way I wanted them to and if people would just do as I wanted them to, everything would be just fine. And of course, this never happened and I drank more and more. Today after 5 years sober I have a totally differant life as well. A wife, instead of a live in girlfriend, a house instead of a rundown apartment or 10x12 room. Once I started to try and live in God's will instead of David's, things started to change for the better, the much better. As I continue on the day by day path of sobriety I must remember that Im not CEO of the world. Its tough sometimes but Im just here to do live in his will.
Member: Thomas
Location: New York City
Remote Name: 24.185.55.10
Date: 21 Mar 2004
Time: 01:46 PM -0500
Tom alcoholic. Just wanted to check in to say that. I remember living in that fantasy world. It was either acted out on some bar stool in a dark room over a shot of dark liquor or standing at my kitchen counter after work while listening to music and working on a six-pack or bottle(s) of wine. In either place I was in a solitary dream about what could have been or what might be. And I never could get up the strength, courage, incentive to take any action because the alcohol had me weighed down. Since sobriety (6 yrs) I often still feel that weight - mentally, emotionally, spiritually - yet I try to keep it simple one day at a time and just show up. I've been able to show up by the grace of God for school, something that I always wanted to do. I'm in my last semester of undergraduate, and plan to go to grad school in the fall. Right now I'm at a crossroad and neither direction looks very clear. I've been in the same profession for 25 yrs and want to change beginning this summer. I want to get out of the corporate world completely and begin teaching while concentrating more on my writing. In the meantime, I pray for the willingness to accept what comes my way in the next few months. For example if I'm not accepted into the graduate program I've applied to. On a day-to-day basis I have to keep it simple and remember that none of this would have been possible if I would never have sobered up. And I pray for willingness . . .
Member: Chris W.
Location: Key West, FL
Remote Name: 65.2.1.2
Date: 21 Mar 2004
Time: 02:35 PM -0500
Hi everyone. Thank-you for being here. I'm Chris, alcoholic and grateful to know that. I, too, lived for years in one fantasy or another. If only I worked hard and accumulated enough "stuff", then people would like me. If only I had a credit card, then I could do the things that "everyone else" does. If only I started my own business then I wouldn't have to work for that SOB anymore and life would be fine. If only I had a sailboat, I could sail around the world (or at least to Costa Rica). The list of if only's goes on and on - you probably get the picture. I have been fighting (for and against) my alcoholism for many years. I have even put together some significant amounts of sobriety over the past 25 years, nine years being the longest stretch. But I always did it My Way (and I think that only ever worked for Frank Sinatra!). A little bit over a year ago I took, for the very first time, an honest Third step and my life,and that's not to mention my outlook on life has changed in ways in which I could never imagine. On a daily basis, I thank God for what He has given me, I thank Him for what He has taken away and I ask Him to take my life and my will and do with it as He wishes. I ride my bicycle every morning to the 8 am meeting in our Clubhouse Garden. While I'm on that bike, I talk to God and plead with Him to make my will His. Since taking that attitude ,and taking it sincerely, miracles (genuine and bonafide) have happened for me. Lack of space won't let me share all of them with you right now but if you'd like to hear more - chrs548@yahoo.com. I'd like to hear some of your miracles as well. Love and Peace from Key West.
Member: Bonny G
Location: Hot Springs, AR
Remote Name: 205.188.209.44
Date: 21 Mar 2004
Time: 04:52 PM -0500
Bonny, grateful recoverying alcoholic, and it's so good to read about the many blessings a sober life brings. The fantasy dreams and basic realities of a drunk mind verses a sober mind, I am so happy that today I can be rational in my thinking. I would never ask anyone for their opinion in the past. I always had the right answers; which lead to much heartbreak for my children and others. Today I ask direction and I ask for that direction from "sober minds." If I fail today I have steps and "tools" to give me guidance, so that I don't beat myself to peices anymore. God allows u-turns, and I am so grateful that He does. "Good Orderly Direction" or "Group of Drunks" or just plain trusting in God as my savior and rock; I know I'll survive whatever crosses my path. I learned this from watching the "old-timers" in the program of AA whenever they faced problems, and HOW they handled the stresses in life after getting sober. After 10 years of living sober, I hope I can prove to be an example others would want to follow also. I strive to live God's will each day and accept the way others are, some days aren't as good as they should be. But I do know that praying for others, helps me to remember that I was taught by my old sponsor to "get out of me, and into you, if I truly wanted a sober life." Sorry to run so long, have a great week, God bless you.
Member: Karen S.
Location: Alaska
Remote Name: 209.165.150.195
Date: 21 Mar 2004
Time: 05:45 PM -0500
Hi, I'm Karen, alcoholic. It's good to share in a meeting. Things around me are constantly changing. It's up to me to be awake, alert and ready. If I pray and talk with others, change is not too challenging. I accept it as most adults do, just part of normal life! When I resist prayer and consultation with others, then I slip very fast into fear...and am afraid of whatever is happening. So, when I find myself there, I ask God to remove the fear and help me be who He would have me be.
Member: Tihearah K.
Location: Charleston SC
Remote Name: 68.58.252.23
Date: 21 Mar 2004
Time: 06:20 PM -0500
im an alcohlic name tihearah. great topic, i went to a 9am meeting, got there late so i didn't get to hear the topic, what i got from it was faith, and change. i got with my sponsor afterward' i told her about so resentments i had , what she gave me was that i had to have faith, that blind faith someone was talking about. and not fear change. (because i still look for people to valitdate who i am) we went to church and the topic was shifting into miracle thinking. you can't do that with out faith and change. i to lived in a fanticy world if only people left me alone my life would be fine. hell it was my life style that got me here and it's the blessing that keep me here life shows up one day at a time. GOD GOT ME COVERED, AND YOU TO. thanks for letting me share
Member: Stephen C
Location: North Stratford,N.H.
Remote Name: 64.91.166.13
Date: 21 Mar 2004
Time: 06:54 PM -0500
Hi,everyone this is me stephen and im alcoholic and so the topic is faith and change it thats a good one because im just working on the very topic and ive come along way especially with all the chances in my life and for alcohol and for faith ,ive ben told that it can move mountains and all you go to do is have a higher power and i do my biggest thing is not being able to sleep and so im tring something new and so hope it works for me and so if you want the hand of A A im here for you and me and you can reach me at fruitbomber20027@hotmail.com
Member: Barb Mc
Location: PA
Remote Name: 68.163.25.233
Date: 21 Mar 2004
Time: 08:10 PM -0500
Hi, Barbara, alcoholic. I have complete faith that everything will change sooner or later. I was about 3 years sober when I finally turned my will and my life over to my Higher Power. Since I've done that life has become a whole lot easier. I pray for His guidance every morning and listen to His answers every night when I meditate. In soberity I resisted change in every way, shape or form for a long time. I knew I had to move away from where I got sober. I didn't want to do that. How could I get along without all the friends that had been there when I walked into my first meeting? How could I leave my comfort zone? I finally got up the nerve and moved. I planned on going back to at least 2 meetings every week. When I finally looked at my new area I found lots of good meetings very close to my home. I got comfortable again and planned on staying there until they carried me out feet first. Don't ever tell God your plans. He does love a good laugh. Six months ago I made another earth shattering move and while I knew this is what God had planned for me I sure didn't like it. I fussed and fumed for quite a while and let everybody know that I wasn't happy. I finally sat down and had a long chat with my God and then really listened to what He answered. I am doing His will. I'm doing what has to be done. He will take care of me. He promised me that 3 years after I got sober and I really believe I will be O.K. If that is faith, blind or otherwise, than that is what I have. As long as I show up and do the work I need to do I will be alright. My sponsor used to say, "Faith can move mountains but you had better bring a shovel." Hugs to all.
Member: melissa u
Location: mesa az
Remote Name: 152.163.253.70
Date: 21 Mar 2004
Time: 10:47 PM -0500
Melissa here, this is a great topic. I have been back in the program for over a year now after 7 years of sobriety. Talk about not doing anything drastic in the first year oops! The beginning of this year I had foot surgery and was on light duty then got layed off from that job while still recovering I was out of work for almost two months it put a huge stress on my relationship.I work in the nursing field and no one wanted to hire a felon at least that was my perception God had other plans in his time not myne. During my time off work I realized that my marriage sucked I had spent five years tring to mold it to his happiness and threw myne out the window I spent all my time doing things for him but me making the choice to do it because I thought if he was happy then that would be enough WR ONG! I am now back to being a single mom takiung care of ME my boys and of course my sobriety because without GOD seeing me through these decisions I would'nt have faith in faith!
Member: MikeM_AA4Life
Location: Cananda
Remote Name: 207.61.92.82
Date: 21 Mar 2004
Time: 11:49 PM -0500
Hi everyone. My name is Mike and I'm an alcoholic. This is my first time sharing on this site. I like the fact that we can share online as it is hard for me to make it to a lot of meetings because of work (which is where I am now). Faith for this alcoholic amoung the most important aspects of my sobriety. When things begin to seem hopeless and I start looking too far ahead, movies start playing in my head about my life turning to sh*t. Self pity takes over and I just feel like giving in. When I'm able to turn these thoughts into prayer I find that that my entire outlook on things. I ask for forgiveness for my shortcomming and forgive those I feel have wronged me. I then ask for strength to help those people in anyway I can. Some how this keeps my focus on my progress rather than whats going wrong. Keeping faith and beliving my higher power will take care of me as long as I am willing to be unselfish in my actions and thinking helps me tremendously get out of myself and able to function better in my day to day life. Happy 24!
Member: Cindy H
Location: kansas
Remote Name: 206.253.35.206
Date: 22 Mar 2004
Time: 12:08 AM -0500
Hi..My name is Cindy. I am 12 years sober as of March 13th. Faith. I am putting my trust in faith right now that this is the palce I need to be. I am looking for sober people to write to. And I am also looking for info on AA chat rooms. It has been awhile since I was at a meeting. All the meetings in this town are in basements. Do to a disability it is difficult for me to climb stairs. My faith in soberity is what I cling too. Please anyone write.
Member: Jenn A.
Location: Oak Harbor, Wa
Remote Name: 4.41.15.233
Date: 22 Mar 2004
Time: 02:37 AM -0500
Hi my name is Jenn I'm an alcoholic. I'm also in the same boat as you Mike with work. Faith for me is that I know that there is a higher power that is helping me get through the tough times. Challenges are running into old acquaintances and having them ask me to go out to the bar, but new friends help steer me in the right direction.
Member: Penny
Location: KeyWest, Fl
Remote Name: 205.188.199.151
Date: 22 Mar 2004
Time: 11:12 AM -0500
H,Penny here. As a true alcoholic, I hated change and always faught it. However, in my first year of sobriety, I had to get a divorce, give up my home, move, etc. In other words, in order to stay sober I had to change everything. It's the best thing I ever did. I said the serenity prayer a hundred times a day hoping I was make the right choices. God answered me and today I am a very happy, serene woman. Have a peaceful day. LOL
Member: Valerie H.
Location: Thief River Falls, MN
Remote Name: 136.234.19.6
Date: 22 Mar 2004
Time: 03:46 PM -0500
Hello, Valerie here, an alcoholic. I want to respond to Cindy H., from Kansas. Congrats on sobriety and reaching out to others. Have you talked with people going to the meetings about getting together for visit and conversation? Doesn't have to be in the meeting rooms. Can be at a restaurant or somewhere that you have access to. A meeting is two people willing to share their strength and hope in sobriety. This is a wonderful site for communicating, but the presence of other sober people F2F can be very uplifting. I like to get together with others in a park or at the waterfront; places that are not restricted by 4 walls. With Spring coming, it is a great time for planning outdoors get-togethers. If you would like, please feel free to contact me by Email; MNGranny@wiktel.com, anytime. Will be happy to respond. Take care with your life and sobriety.
Member: Charlie Darling
Location: Key West FL
Remote Name: 68.156.235.167
Date: 22 Mar 2004
Time: 04:07 PM -0500
Hi Family Charlie Darling a very GRATEFUL recovering Alcholic. Have read some wonderful things here today, and when I was out there I had alot of fears about being asked to do things even though I said I would like to, but today my fears have turned to faith for when some one asks me to do something I say yes before I even think about it, and I found that is the best answer I can give. For by doing things for others, it makes me feel good about myself. Just recently I was asked by my sponsor to help create a web site for him, also I was asked by a large organization to cordinate a funtion that is to take place in May. I feel as if I am worth something now, where as before I wasn't worth the puke in the toilet. To be a member of AA has been a terrific journey into the unknown, and boy do I like where I am going, and I like who I am becoming. People trust me now, and want to be around me for me, and for what I have. I just got a sponsee who really makes me feel good for he is where I need to be sometimes, and for that I really am grateful. Today I can honestly say I like myself, and mean it. Just for today I am present and can be counted on, and it is wonderful to be trusted. I Love you all Peace and Love Charlie kwduke_1999@yahoo.com
Member: AndyD
Location: Detroit
Remote Name: 68.41.155.151
Date: 22 Mar 2004
Time: 04:30 PM -0500
Great topic, especially looking at it from this angle. Our thread starter said that when he was drinking he had big plans and never followed through on them since the alcohol broke down his motivation. I too made big plans when I was drinking. I would make descisions at the bar instantly on things that I would think over for days now. I would constantly find myself in situations that I thought was great from the bar, but sober I would think it was ridiculous or boring. Leaving the alcohol behind, I now see that the alcohol was the ridiculous thing in my life. Now I make plans that are meaningful and direct my life where I want it to go. I no longer find myself in situations where I'm wondering why I'm there, but in situations where I know what is to be expected and want to be. My "blind faith" in following the plan for my sobriety has allowed me to regain control of direction in my life. -Andy
Member: AZbill
Location: azbill1172@cox.net
Remote Name: 68.231.160.24
Date: 22 Mar 2004
Time: 06:37 PM -0500
HI, Bill here. Alcoholic from Arizona. Change. Having some faith that change would work. The whole AA program is about change. Now I do not know what big change is or a itty bitty change. I have not the foggiest where all these time frames come in. No change in one year? I feel that most the changes made in my first year were very major changes. I came off a year plus binge setting down half of my last drink and walking out of a bar never to return to a bar to drink again. That certainly was as a major change. At my first meeting an oldtimer took me aside and told me that all I had to do was change the way I thought about alcohol and that you where going to teach me how to do that. That was a big change for sure. Within the first month the boss (I had called over a year back and told him I would be a couple of hours late) found out I was sober (again) and send someone to my shack to tell me that if I wanted my old job back just come on in the next morning. That was a pretty nice change. Some years later I had quit a job left Denver and went all the way to the east coast. There I quit one place, got fired from another, A third ran out of money and had to close. I wound up back in Denver Metro with the best job of my life just 12 miles from where I started :) If you want things to stay as they are, just keep doing the things you are doing. If you want things to get better, then you have to change. Take care, Love ya, Bill
Member: Bonny G
Location: Hot Springs, AR
Remote Name: 205.188.209.44
Date: 22 Mar 2004
Time: 06:45 PM -0500
Bonny here, sorry to post again. But I wanted to offer my email to Cindy H, and let her know that there are other places as Valerie said to meet with AA's. My group of ladies have lunch on Saturday's after the meeting. I have a problem staying up for 8pm meetings, I get up at 4am. I'll email you. Write to me at: hereatthemansion@wmconnect.com
Member: Christina H
Location: Atlanta Ga
Remote Name: 208.57.218.243
Date: 23 Mar 2004
Time: 03:42 PM -0500
Hello, I enjoy this topic. I am not very good at accepting change nor having the faith that when change comes it will be good. Of all the times in sobriety that God or wharever you choose to call it has not dropped me. I really should have more faith. My life is amazing fuller then I ever could imagion when I was out there. Its amazing to me that I still do not have faith in somethings ,but I am not perfect and still have fear. What I have found is that as long as I keep doing the right thing and keep going on things work out.
Member: Joe B.
Location: Charleston,W.V.
Remote Name: 205.188.209.13
Date: 24 Mar 2004
Time: 03:35 PM -0500
Hi gang, greetings from W>V> Faith started slowly in sobriety, but once it got a foothold alcohol was a dead duck. Thanks for the meeting
Member: Corinne B.
Location: Northern CA
Remote Name: 66.81.52.233
Date: 24 Mar 2004
Time: 04:02 PM -0500
Having Faith in Change is the topic - well, I don't know. I know for sure there will always be changes in life, so I do have faith that everything is temporary - bad moods, good moods, lots of money, lack of money, etc. It was good to see what you had to say ((AZBill)) because I have often thought that the advice we hear around the rooms given for newcomers about not making any major changes in the first year is not realistic. I mean, when you think about it, we come in here to AA already being forced into making a lot of major changes in most cases. Many of us got here due to the possibility (or actual) ending of a relationship with spouse or significant other, or the loss of either a job, a place to live, or our very freedom when we've committed and been found guilty of a DUI or other crime. So, some of the first major decisions to get changes made come out of those bottoms we have just hit. We have to either find a new place to live, a new job, or do what we can to either repair or permanental sever a relationship with a spouse, sometimes including custody battles and the like. I think what needs to be clarified on that "no major changes" point is this - Until a newcomer has begun rigorously working the steps, they should not initiate any changes that are not already being forced upon them due to circumstances beyond their immediate control (such as outlined above). But then, I'm just picky :)
Member: Pat S
Location: toronto
Remote Name: 66.185.85.76
Date: 25 Mar 2004
Time: 01:36 AM -0500
hi friend i'm pat and i am an alcoholic it sure is nice to be able to come in here and hear such great stuff " God has sure been good to me and the grace he has bestowed on me are endless" you no since coming to the fellowship the people i have meet are just amazing the giving of them selves the unconditional love the occassional smilen face lol. the laughter at are selveswhat a blessingi love the program and i pray that God may reach out and show a few more who are struggleing the road to a happy destiny.
Member: Anne Marie
Location: Oregon
Remote Name: 63.187.224.140
Date: 25 Mar 2004
Time: 03:05 PM -0500
This is a good topic -- and one was one of the main reasons I got sober. While drinking I spent hours/days/years drunkening dreaming about the potential of my life -- but not actually taking any steps to actually accomplish anything. Alcohol stripped away my motivation and made even reasonable tasks seem overwhelming and hopeless. I feel I wasted a good 4 years of my adult/emotional/professional growth. I realized that my life was slipping by, the life I had was static, meaningless and painful, and nothing would get better until I put the plug in the jug for good. Now that I am sober, I apply the "one step at a time" mantra to almost anything I tackle. It helps me feel less overwhelmed and that I just need to focus on what I can do today. I still have big, sometimes elaborate dreams, but I've started to get stuff done and feel like I'm improving myself and growing again, one day at a time. In fact, I'm starting a new job in a couple weeks -- a real plum gig that I beat out 65 other candidates to get. There will be some traveling right away, and I know that I'll need to take my Big Book with me. Getting too "excited" results in me occasionally craving a beer as much as getting too depressed does. Anyway, I'm just going to set specific goals, make realistic timelines, and take it a step at a time to accomplishing them. I couldn't do this if I weren't sober and am so grateful to AA and my higher power that I am today. thanks for reading!
Member: Tracy
Location: Little ole England
Remote Name: 62.255.64.7
Date: 26 Mar 2004
Time: 06:16 AM -0500
I like how you put it Anne Marie "Drunking Dreaming". That is how i spent 26 of my 41 yrs. Now 16 months away from a drink..I am at college awaiting a final exam to get my first ever certificate...the past of sitting in the arm chair dreaming dreams of how I could do anythink if I really wanted to are gone..action has replaced the dreaming.
Member: PappyPaw
Location: Sourt Central Mi
Remote Name: 66.231.35.166
Date: 26 Mar 2004
Time: 09:31 AM -0500
Hi everyone..I am PappyPaw and I am a grateful recovering alcoholic. I have found a way to live where I do not have to drink anymore. It is a direct result of this "Faith". Most alcoholics cling to thoughts of self grandure spending precious time searching for their true destiny God saved them to preform. In todays posting I read that real destuny for all of us. It said "I am here to live "His" will for me today. With this my faith has a new high. I think I will celebrate by giving me another day of soberity as I live "His" will for me Today. Thank you all for the "Spiritual Gifts" you have so freely gave me this day. PappyPaw
Member: Pat S
Location: toronto
Remote Name: 66.185.85.76
Date: 27 Mar 2004
Time: 10:10 PM -0500
Hi friends i'm Pat and a gratefull member of the Tuesday night discussion group here in Toronto. Sobriety has given me many great gifts relationships with God my best friend in this world Lina even when she drives me crazy lol. Or when she resorts to name calling but my love for her is so great and i believe that God loves me even more. My gratetude for this fellowship is un ending it has tought me so many things it has thought me faith love Hope The gifts that the Lord has given me are endless but he promised this "SURELY GOODNESS AND MERCY SHALL FOLLOW ME ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE. AND I WILL DWELL IN THE HOUSE OF THE LORD FOREVER." in my drinking days i never felt like this it was a living hell but i have been saved by A. A. AND GOD what a great blessing thank you and God bless
Member: Steve H
Location: Guernsey, Channel Islands
Remote Name: 212.30.5.188
Date: 27 Mar 2004
Time: 10:35 PM -0500
when i was drinking i always dreamed of doing this, doing that. now i've been dry for over 1year i'm now doing something about a couple of those dreams. 1, i have a steady girlfriend, whom i adore very much, (still the emotional brick wall to get over on my part) 2, i'm building my own computer graphics company, (with support from my family, frist time for everything eh.) 3, (i didn't set out to get this one, but it's part and parcel of NOT drinking) Trust from those around me, parents, my son, my bro's + sis. Now that is more then anyone can hope/pray for. but the above 3 are enough to be getting on with for now, i've proved to myself that great things are possible when the booze is not involed. that's it for now. all the best Steve H