Member: Linda A
Location: WV
Date: 3/18/01
Time: 12:02:40 PM

Comments


Member: kokomo joe
Location:
Date: 3/18/01
Time: 12:16:49 PM

Comments

yippie yi yo im from kokomo


Member: Mark B
Location: Eielson AFB, AK
Date: 3/18/01
Time: 12:56:04 PM

Comments

Mark, alcoholic. I hate topics but, the absolute best one is: What are you doing today, to stay sober? What action or actions are you taking in your life not to drink or use? Clue me in for the next week.

Mark


Member: Geri W
Location: Ohio
Date: 3/18/01
Time: 1:43:28 PM

Comments

Hi Mark and thanks for the topic. This is Geri, a very grateful alcoholic. I really expect this week to be no different than all the others since I completed the 12 steps of AA. Start my day with a chat with the HP, thanking Him for the opportunity to serve again that day. Asking that my obstacles be removed, so that victory over them will give proof of this way of life. Then going about my day, always remembering that I am not running the show, but doing my part as best I can. Get to a meeting if possible, check in on the CP to see if everyone if ok. Then off to slumberland after a short review of the day's events - and some more discussion of it with the BIG Guy. Nothing exciting, but wonderfully predictable. If I keep doing what I did to get sober, I have a chance of staying that way. And that's great.


Member: Joseph Z.
Location: Israel
Date: 3/18/01
Time: 1:59:18 PM

Comments

What do I do to stay sober?

Well, in the course of my recovery from the ravages of drugs and alcohol I found I had to accept the fact, as it was written in the book I was working with, that "the world and its people were often quite wrong!" This took a long time, and a lot of good and bad experiences to get a good hold of, in "the school of hard knocks" I was going through! This was the only hope I had! I had to prove to myself that I was not at heart the type of person that society had classified me in! After all, when you are on the brink of utter despair, like I was, if you don't have something to strive for you will wind up a horribly bitter and worthless individual! So I always grabbed onto some hope that I could work for, and get! Now today, the world as it is, in a total case of hopeless basketry, there is not too much hope to be found anywhere! This wasn't an easy thing to accept, but I couldn't change it! ("we had to quit playing God!"), so the only hope I could now latch onto was total honesty in everything that affected me! Wherever I saw dishonesty, I avoided it like a plague, and so the "world and its people" also avoided me! Or cast me out as a worthless and hopeless has been! This may seem like a social disaster that could ruin a person, but in my case it was not! The more I avoided all the hypocrites both in and out of AA, the better I grew to accept the inevitable which is called "the end of the world" in the Bible, and is now pushing hotly upon us! And now seeing there is nowhere else to find any hope, I say, Yea! Let it be done! "a new heavens and a new earth," free of all the scourges inflicted on this hopelessly blind and addicted world of the old serpent and all his followers! By hook or by crook I want to make that life, and I can't lift a finger to do that while addicted to toxic substances, and deceitful propsitions of this world's wizards and elite!! If they love and want the death and all that goes with it in a covenant with the world, well I say, let them then have it!! I'll stay sober and work for the life I almost lost in the world!!


Member: Katie d.
Location: new jersey
Date: 3/18/01
Time: 2:13:38 PM

Comments

I am really worried about a friend of mine. He doesnt drink all the time but when he does drink, he gets violent (verbally), he doesnt remember anything the next morning and he drinks more and faster than anyone i have ever met before. He is such a wonderful person when he doesnt drink but im so scared for him and i want him to get help. in the last 3 weeks he has gotten drunk 2 times where i have ended up in tears because of his condition. He remembers nothing and its so hard for me to be around him and love him when hes like that. whats the best way to go about all this? katie


Member: Red Z.
Location: Pushkin Square
Date: 3/18/01
Time: 2:47:42 PM

Comments

Here's something that keeps me sober!!

Busted! The 'New Economic Paradigm'Goes South

For the past few years we have been carefully following the development of the US and world economies. Yet almost overnight, instead of "the boom will last forever", the press now has stories about "how to survive the recession", and openly discusses the economic slowdown. They don't even blush at the fact that mere months ago they were encouraging everyone to get into the stock market or miss out on fabulous wealth and early retirement! We explained long ago that the so-called "New Economic Paradigm" was nothing new at all &endash; that it was an investment boom propelled by the super-exploitation of the working class and ex-colonial world. Only a year ago, the bourgeois press was full of excitement and bravado about how the boom would never end, that "this time it's different", etc. We pointed out repeatedly that the capitalist system has the boom-slump cycle built in. Simply put, what goes up, must come down &endash; that much was certain. The only unknown factor was when it would collapse, and how hard and how quickly it would fall.

It is impossible for capitalism to overcome the fundamental contradiction that the working class is not paid as much wealth as it produces. The surplus wealth the workers create over and above the wages they receive from the capitalist form the private profit of the capitalist. The workers can therefore never buy back all the products they create. After a period of boom, increased productivity, investment, and growth, the economy inevitably begins to freeze up - a crisis of "overproduction" sets in, and the economy spirals into recession or worse. Layoffs increase, perfectly good factories are shut down, new investment stops. The bourgeois are so worried about the coming slump (and the inevitable social discontent which will accompany it) that they hurried to blame Clinton before he left office, are rushing Bush's tax-cut for the rich through Congress, and are of course praying that Alan Greenspan of the Federal Reserve Board can work some of his "magic".

So while the contradictions of the system will never result in a "final crisis" until the workers of the world overthrow it once and for all, the capitalist world was dealt a harsh blow today which will make millions of people question its right to continue dominating their lives. The Dow Jones Industrials (DJIA) and NASDAQ suffered overwhelming losses today in a broad-based sell-off that handed the Dow Industrials its worst percentage loss in 11 months and took the NASDAQ below the 2,000 mark for the first since December 1998. Billions of dollars of personal wealth were wiped out. With the bursting of the economic tech bubble, the NASDAQ now is down more than 60 percent from its March 2000 record high as profit warnings mount in the deteriorating economy. That drop surpasses its hammering of 59.9 percent during the 1973-74 prolonged bear market. This means that if you invested $10,000 a year ago in the NASDAQ, you would now have only $4,000!

This was DJIA's fifth largest point drop ever, with a 436.37-point tumble, or 4.10 percent, at 10,208.25. It was the lowest close for the blue-chip average since late October 2000.

Wall Street's broadest economic measure, the Standard & Poor's 500, plunged 53.26 to 1,180.16 for a loss of 4.3 percent. The S&P has lost nearly a quarter of its value since its closing high of 1,527.46 reached March 24 of last year. Many stock market analysts are expecting things to get much worse before it gets any better. The NASDAQ, DOW, and S&P 500 are, in large part, measures of business expectations and with the Dow and S&P 500 which are faltering and the NASDAQ below 2,000 have many owners of capital shaking in their boots.

The US economy, which is being held up by waning consumer confidence (now at its lowest level in years), is the main engine of the world economy. When it peters out, the rest of the world will be hit as well. So it is no surprise that foreign stock markets were not immune from the paranoid selling spree on Wall Street today as European markets felt the blast from the NASDAQ and DJIA bomb blast as well. Japan, whose market also fell to below 12,000 today is teetering on a total collapse of its economy with interest rates hovering around .01% and unemployment rates rising to their highest levels ever. All of this economic doom and gloom highlights the contradictions within the chaotic capitalist system.

This does not bode well for the working class. It is invariably the working class who feel the brunt of a market going bad. In fact, they feel the strains of a waning market before even the so-called experts know about it. For months now there have been huge layoffs in the manufacturing and tech sectors. Just last week one of the tech industries mainstays, Cisco Systems Inc., which hit its all-time high of 82 dollars last March and is now trading at 18 34, announced it was laying-off thousands of workers. Subsequently their stock plummeted.

Under capitalism the workers are nothing more than a commodity and the owners of capital use this to their advantage. When demand for a product subsides the workers of that industry are laid off in an effort to decrease expenditures. Of course this knee jerk reaction by the capitalists has the effect of further depressing the capitalist economy as workers who were once consumers are now only able to scratch by, purchasing much less than before. Moreover, the workers have not been privy to the "boom" of the last decade here in the States, with real wages stagnating and individual debt ballooning, they sure as hell will be privy to the bust! It is not the bosses who suffer; it is the workers! And things can only get worse from here!

The only way to curb this roller coaster ride of capitalist economics, which tosses its unsuspecting passengers, the workers, to and fro, is a democratically planned socialist economy. Surely recent events are enough to convince one that the current unplanned economy and the mysterious ghostly hand of the marketplace are not good enough for the workers in this day and age. Capitalism is a dying system there is no need to feed off its carcass or suffer under its decrepit rule. Jump ship now and join the revolution!

By Kristopher Marc and Peter Johnson (in the USA) March 12, 2001

[Back to In Defence of Marxism] [Back to Economy]http://www.marxist.com


Member: Donnie M
Location: W.Va.
Date: 3/18/01
Time: 3:31:29 PM

Comments

Hi,Mark great topic I am donnie and I am a alcoholic. I live one day at a time,and go to meeting`s. I have been sober for a little over two year`s,and I have to believe that God has helped me every step of the way.My last drunk was one I had to exprience.I would get drunk argue with my wife and family,so I could go for a walk which was down the middle of the road,which if you have never had two car`s go by at the same time.You talk about sobering you up in a hurry,but that last night that happened.I walked to a church twelve pack in hand. I sat on those step`s,and asked God or anyone who was listening for help.I walked home called a rehab,and went there the next day (which happened to be my 31st b-day),see I never planned it that way.The way I look at it I had to take that last drink to be ready to start my new life with the same family. I had to learn to be a father,husband,and son.I`ve lost my parent`s within eight month`s apart due to illness,but I have to believe that God let me get sober and was able to make my amends with them.I have a understanding wife that has stood by my side.She and my son are the ones I have to live for today,and as long as I do`nt drink and work and live the 12 steps program of A.A. I can say I have never had it so good. Today I like to say I LOVE A.A.,so that is what I do today to stay sober.I do`nt worry about yesterday,and I`ll worry about tomorrow when it get`s here. thank`s for listening,and GOD BLESS ALL WHO TRY.


Member: Marcy C.
Location: CT
Date: 3/18/01
Time: 4:01:25 PM

Comments

Hi- I am brand new.... and unsure...but know i need to do this for me. so< HI.


Member: DonF
Location: NH
Date: 3/18/01
Time: 5:09:03 PM

Comments

Dear RedZ....maybe you didn't notice this site is about how to not drink a day at a time. In our Preamble, it says "...we are not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, or organization, neither promote nor oppose any causes..." Having said that, I have to give you misguided fools THIS information: The reason the communist system produces so many drunks is that the system rejects the rights of the individual as a supreme creation of God, and removes all hope of personal achievement, other than sucking up to the establishment. If you're there, you might as WELL drink.(No not really, NOTHING is so bad that taking a drink won't make it worse, even communism)


Member: brenda c
Location: san bruno calif
Date: 3/18/01
Time: 5:16:58 PM

Comments

i am brenda c and i am an alcoholic i am new to this group


Member: Diane H.
Location: Arizona
Date: 3/18/01
Time: 5:17:45 PM

Comments

Hi. I want to let those of you who have shared your thoughts have not gone unnoticed. I had over 3 years of sobriety and let it all go about nine months ago. I've done some really incredibly stupid things during this time, as you can imagine. I trace back and realize that it was my stopping going to meetings and believing in my HP that got me here. I am thankful that I am still here to come back to sobriety, A.A. and my HP.


Member: Jo M
Location: Me
Date: 3/18/01
Time: 5:52:25 PM

Comments

What I do today to stay sober is Not Drink and the only way I have ever been able to do that is with Alcoholics Anonymous. What a great gift to those of us who are desparate.


Member: Linda C.
Location: Winnipeg, Manitoba
Date: 3/18/01
Time: 6:06:09 PM

Comments

Hi everyone. My name is Linda and I am an alcoholic.

Scott H....My suggestion is you should start at Step 1. Do this step 100%. Get a sponsor and be honest with him. Your sponsor will help you through all the steps.

Joe,in Ohio...Keep hanging in there. Pray to your higher power to remove your jealousy and ask him to direct your attention to what he would have you do. Get to as many meetings as possible,read the Big Book,and get a sponsor.

The topic, "getting honest with myself"

When I first came into A.A. I thought I was an honest and patient person. Boy, was I wrong. I had no trouble telling the truth to others about people, places and things. I just couldn't tell the truth about myself - how I was feeling. I knew nothing about feelings except what was good or bad, happy or sad,etc. I had to start letting myself feel my feelings to understand them. This is not an overnight process, it takes time for each situation. As new ones arise I still need to allow myself to feel my feelings. I have to first admit to myself my true feelings and where I am wrong,before I can be honest to others. I used to have a fear of admitting when I was wrong and still do at times. But I'm working on it. I believe the reason I have this fear is because I am afraid people won't accept me as I am and I want to be apart of,not apart from.


Member: Ardis
Location: So Calif. Mtns
Date: 3/18/01
Time: 7:54:43 PM

Comments

I am an alcoholic, my name is Ardis. My first action each day to stay sober is to wake up in the morning, sit on my knees besides my bed and pray to my God. I ask HIM to please particiate in my thoughts for that day with lots of humor and joy, to keep me free of mis-directed self-will, to keep me and my motives honest and not self-seeking for that day. To please make me aware how I can be of service to the people I meet during the day. To release me of any fear that I may encounter and replace it with Faith. Then I say, let's go for it God, Amen.

I go on about my business what I have to do today. If I start feeling uncomfortable during the day, more often than not, I take a break and I ask myself what is it that I fear, what's going on here. More often than not, I get an answer that comes down to selfish, dishonest or self-seeking. I do what I have to do for the rest of the day to live a well-balanced life.

At night I like to sit against the living room wall and review my day. What has blocked me from the Sunlight of the Spirit for that day, what blocked me from God. Again it comes down to being selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and afraid. What and how could I have done better, do I owe another person an amend, do I hold a grudge? I thank HIM for staying with me during this enjoyable day. And that are the basics of my day.

I LOVE being of service to others during the day in those small ways. A smile, a kind word, giving a compliment. I LOVE to forget about ME during the day and I LOVE to laugh. NOT thinking about me, gives me self-esteem and self-worth during the day. To have someone else's welfare at heart shows me I have Faith in my God that HE will take care of me, I do not have to at that moment!

My life goes pretty smooth staying in the AA guidelines of Trust God, Clean House, Help Others. If I do NOT adhere to that, I will make a mess of the day for sure. Plus my love of life and humor leaves me for that moment and I do NOT like to live without that for even an hour. God bless, keep walking in that Sunlight of the Spirit and we can not go wrong.


Member: Todd
Location: Illinois
Date: 3/18/01
Time: 9:12:58 PM

Comments

My name is Todd and I have been sober since March 5th,2001. I have not been to a meeting yet, but have been reading the Big Book, and turning my life over to God. It has helped me a great deal. I just recently found this page and I hope it will Keep me focused on my sobriety.This topic will be a great help. Thanks!


Member: Stephanie D
Location: Chicago
Date: 3/18/01
Time: 9:19:19 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Stephanie and I'm an alcoholic. Katie D, it sounds like you care a lot for your friend. I've only been sober 6 mos and have little useful advice of my own. Read the "To Wives" chapter in the Big Book, esp. starting on p. 111; it might help. You might ask a male AA friend to talk with him. But he has to suspect he has a problem and be willing to change. Remember you are powerless over him and cannot fix him. You can only give him tools and hope he's hit a low enough bottom that he'll listen. I never listened to anyone until I was desperate.


Member: Stephanie D
Location: Chicago
Date: 3/18/01
Time: 9:21:34 PM

Comments

Todd, where are you located? Congratulations on two weeks, that's great. It's much, much easier when you go to meetings. You learn so much.


Member: David
Location: Southern, Va.
Date: 3/18/01
Time: 9:54:58 PM

Comments

David here, and have been sober since February 18, 2001. Like many of you have already expressed, following the steps of A.A. is the priority. For me, looking to my higher power, whom I refer to as God, has allowed me to understand that, I can't control everything and everybody. That's his job. Too many times, us as alcoholics become frustrated with not being in control, especially our drinking. We become angry at ourselves and others and drink to deaden the hurt of frustration. In my short 28 days of sobriety, I have learned 1)obstacles will come, and they will go. Sometimes you can master them, and sometimes you can't. The ones you can't, well it wasn't meant for you to tackle in the first place. 2)It is rediculous to think we can use our weakness (alcohol or drugs) to fight the good fight in life's daily ups and downs. To me the serenity prayer is a great credo to use, and just thinking and saying " I'm not going to drink or use today. I'll talk to my higer power about tomorrow. He/She knows where you have been with this and where you're going. For some of you, immediate medical care or detox may be needed especially for the first few days. Withdrawal symptoms can easily cause someone to drink to avoid that hell. Don't be afraid to talk to a physician abou detox or non-addictive medication to help with such things as depression which for me was directly correlated to my drinking. Don't know which came first, the chicken or the egg. Anyway, go to meetings, live one day at a time, thank God he's giving you a chance to live or stay out of jail. Thank you all, and pray for me in my attempt to recover.


Member: Allison W.
Location: Long Island,NY
Date: 3/18/01
Time: 10:11:59 PM

Comments

Staying sober for me is all about don't drink and go to meetings. Stay after and listen. Absorb what the people with time have to say, they are sober so I need to listen. Now that I have 90 days I speak and I chair a meeting. Iam involved and that's what works for me.


Member: peggy h
Location: florida
Date: 3/18/01
Time: 10:13:32 PM

Comments

wow david, you said alot of wonderful things. thanks for sharing your thoughts. I will be praying for you and your new found recovery, you have alot to offer to others. keep sharing, you lighten my day today.


Member: Sheila L
Location: Michigan
Date: 3/18/01
Time: 10:31:22 PM

Comments

Great topic Mark:

Hi My name is Sheila, and I just celebrated 5 years on 3/14/00, and what I do is always keep my Higher Power first in my life, con't to go to meeting and keep an open line of communication with others in recovery, I also attend college to obtain the scholistic requirement accompanyed with my experience to enable me to become a substance abuse counselor, which I consider being the ultimate way of being of service, and utilizing the therpatice value of one alcoholic helping another. I also believe I cannot keep it unless I give it away.. Thank you all for your comments and helping me in my soberity today.


Member: Pam B
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Date: 3/18/01
Time: 11:10:04 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Pam, an alcoholic, Thanks for the topic, Mark B. Today to stay sober, I follow the suggestions that had been given to me since the beginning: Start my day on my knees asking God's Will for my day, His Direction & Guidance throughout my day, and the Power to carry it out. My fiance and I read the 24 Hour for the day's date together, then we each have our own meditation/journaling time before dropping in on this site, phone calls, cleaning up, and then we head out the door to our work.

Since the beginning, my sponsor & the old timers drilled into me that the way we stay sober is Service Work - helping another achieve sobriety. By giving it away is how we keep it and grow further. The whole point in getting a sponsor to guide us through the 12 Steps is so we will have the message to pass it on to others. During this time in my life, that Service Work is primarily Sponsoring. That keeps me sober, continuing to grow in my own daily living by these Principles & these 12 Steps.

Each day varies, as to whatever God may lead - it is often taking a time out as a "mini meeting" with the various AA friends we encounter throughout the day. It may be the customer we're working for begins talking of a drinking problem they or a loved one has (without knowing a thing that we are AA's) it may be a customer wanting to know how we can always be getting along so well working together as a couple - which opens conversation about how we have learned and continue to learn from being in a 12 Step Program, and do break our own anonymity if that's where the conversation leads to from there. And in our kind of work, it can be any number of other things we're able to do to help others, that has nothing to do with AA or recovery. It is whatever God leads.

I also have children & grandchildren, that being there for them are the love I am free and now able to do. Same with the rest of my very large family and with my fiance's as well - opportunities for the ongoing ammends of being able to give something and be productive/useful to others rather than taking & being a harm/burden. This Program has revealed what my Purpose in this life is, and I live it each day, so grateful to have one.

My experience was that many oldtimers were at meetings daily to be there for me - the newcomer - and pass it on to me. I in turn want to do the same, so I do attend daily meetings that I may freely pass on what has freely been given to me. Being this "part of" keeps me sober - I love it - and I am blessed with a full wonderful life and many true friends that I value. I am always in AWE/Gratitude to God as I understand Him.

After some reading at night and discussing how our day went, I review my day, thank God for every bit of it - and for one more day of sobriety. Especially thanks for all of you, my AA Family. Pam


Member: bombs away
Location: for all i care
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 1:37:24 AM

Comments

redz,

so who fukin gives a shit anyway,this world is

so fuked up now,i hope the red china comes in

an we can git on with ww3......


Member: mark a           
Location: rome,ny
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 2:03:18 AM

Comments

sometimes staying away from meetings is good for your sanity.many group members have proven to me to be completely out of their minds.these members also have hidden agends.i.e. 13 stepping.lots of that going on locally.i try to remember that meetings are full of sick people.i attended many meetings and am fed up with all the crap.no more no way!


Member: Fred M
Location: MD
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 7:37:47 AM

Comments

I'm Fred, a grateful alcoholic, sober today by the grace of God and the fellowship of AA. //ARDIS//Thanks for your message. God talked to me today through you. How do I stay sober today? By trying to repeat what I did that first day of desperation, many 24-hours ago. I asked God to take over, and said that I'd messed it up. I admitted I could not run my life alone and asked for him to take over. At the end of the day, I thanked him for the day and for letting me back into his grace. Basically, add in meetings, including this one, reading the Big Book, and trying my best to listen to the wisdom of others, and I've strung together 22 years. Thanks again, God, for keeping me sober today. Love, Fred


Member: Mark D
Location: Concord, NH
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 9:14:41 AM

Comments

For some reason I am the only person in my family who is able to take my two greyhounds for a walk first thing in the morning. So as this is a disipline that I can't seem to put off. I use it. The first part of the walk I clear my mind, or rather resist from cluttering it up. I then very deliberately say the Serenity prayer to myself. At that point I begin taking in my surroundings. Listening to the birds, checking out the sky for morning stars and now the setting moon or rising sun. Enjoying this little taste of nature feels like an unspoken prayer. At some time durinthis proceeding I'm picking up dog poop with a newspaper and putting it in a bag. In that way I'm caring for my pets, my neighbors and establishing my true stature in the universe. Finally, I romp with the dogs a bit on the way back. By the time I have had my first cup of coffee, if I've done things fully, I feel tuned in and at peace.

When I was drinking I would use this same time to brood, beat myself up and generally gear up for "needing" that drink later in the day.


Member: Todd
Location: Illinois
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 10:05:33 AM

Comments

Stephanie. I am Located in Belleville, Il. about 20 miles East of St. Louis.


Member: Mark B
Location: Eielson AFB, AK
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 10:30:57 AM

Comments

Mark, alcoholic. I was taught and practice some very simple things, actions that work for me when I was a newcomer. Hit knees. Read Big Book. Go to a meeting. Make contact with another sober member. Try not to lie, cheat, steal, or hurt somebody. Simple stuff that if I do daily, there's a pretty good chance I won't drink today. Been working for me since 6-23-85, a few 24's. Not to mention all over the US, Europe, the middle east, Africa, and now the Pacific Rim. Trudging the road of happy destiny.

Mark


Member: Lynne B.
Location: NE
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 11:06:42 AM

Comments

I'd like to ask some questions. I called the AA in my phone book and was told the only thing she could tell me was time and location of meetings. There are none in my town. 1. How do I get a sponsor? 2. How can I get "The Big Book"? Thanks to anyone who can help.


Member: Frank M
Location:
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 11:26:52 AM

Comments

The only way I can keep from taking that first drink is to keep focused and very busy. I have been sober now for four days which is a blessing. I've never felt better!


Member: Mary
Location: Fairfield, CT
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 11:34:19 AM

Comments

Mark, thanks for the great topic... I know I can always use the helpful advice. What am I doing today to not drink? ...remembering the last drink and where it got me. Hopefully that will work today. And of course, asking God to help me get sober because I know now I can't do it on my own.

(((Marcy C.))) welcome! Where in CT are you? I'm fairly new here as well. Have been trying to gather the courage to go to a face2face meeting... but in the meantime, reading the posts here has been helpful. Thanks everyone!


Member: Kate H.
Location: Troy, NY
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 12:35:46 PM

Comments

Hi, all. Kate, alcoholic here. <<Lynne B>> you can read the entire text of the Big Book online at http://www.recovery.org/aa/bigbook/ww/ It's searchable in case there's a particular topic you'd like to get right to. I'd look into where the nearest meeting is and make an effort to get there somehow. Speak up and tell folks that you need a sponsor, some phone numbers and maybe a ride if you need that. AA's are great about things like that. We all keep sober by helping one another to do the same. In the meantime, there are lots of chat rooms and cyber meetings that you could attend. Folks who do that regularly (there are lots of places in the world that don't have F2F meetings nearby and they still stay sober) will be able to share their experience with you on what they found most helpful. Good luck and keep comin' back. You can do this, one day at a time.


Member: KIM D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 12:56:17 PM

Comments

Welcome BRENDA C. and MARCY C. Keep Coming Back!

Thanks for the topic, Mark.

I've heard it asked in the halls, "What are you doing to stack the odds in your favor of not drinking today?" Hmmm... What am I doing? Truthfully, right now in my life VERY LITTLE and that scares the hell out of me. I've been in such a depressive/tired funk the last couple of months that I have been using my pregnancy as an excuse not to participate FULLY in my OWN RECOVERY.

Pain is a motivator, you know? My fantasy/dream little world has crumbled around my head and now again, I am faced with Kim and owning responsibility for Kim's life. My fiance and father of my yet unborn child relapsed again, drank and drugged the money we saved for first and last on an apartment, and now he's currently in the second detox in 2 weeks, wanting to leave after 24 hours and with an attitude that sucks.

So Mark, thanks for the topic because here I am again facing my life... owning my own recovery... and putting the focus back on Kim the recovering alcoholic. NOT THE BABY... MY FIANCE... MY 8 YEAR OLD SON... ETC. Today, I read from the 24 hour book and prayed. I journaled a little bit and made a gratitude list. I have been told that a grateful heart will not drink. Today, I have already spoken with 2 recovering alcoholics from my home group(great, supportive friends) and I am at this site. I will attend a meeting on Wednesday and get back into the swing of things in terms of commitments, etc.

Pretty scary how I floated away from my base of recovery and relied more on my pregnancy to "fill that void" that AA fills. I'll tell you though, I was pretty scared Saturday morning when I was talking to my fiance at 3:00 a.m. on the phone and he was high on crack. I got that familiar "itch" for a brief second... my alcoholism... talking to me. He told me "You're not missing much, baby. It's nasty out here." And I thought to myself, I am an alcoholic and there will always be a small, sick part of me that thinks I AM missing "something," unless I maintain spiritually, mentally and physically fit and that means being connected to AA and a higher power.

Sorry for the long share. I guess I had to get it out.

Take care, Kim


Member: Randy L.
Location: Lakeland,Fl.
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 3:38:48 PM

Comments

Hi all. I'm Randy.a truly grateful alcoholic.I stay sober on a daily basis by doing the things you taught me to do from the day i finally got here and totally surrendered. (i.e. SURRENDER-join the winning side) We get so many tools to not only keep us sober,but to enjoy an oasis of life.After 28 plus yrs. of sobriety,I still use a sponsor,I still go to meetings.I still work with others and I do my best to let HP stay in control. I never did well taking over His jobs.The best is yet to come,in every area of our lives!! Rememer,AA is not a do it yourself program.It is a reach out for help program!!TRUST GOD,CLEAN HOUSE AND HELP OTHERS!!!!!


Member: Randy L.
Location: Lakeland,Fl.
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 3:44:27 PM

Comments

Hi all. I'm Randy.a truly grateful alcoholic.I stay sober on a daily basis by doing the things you taught me to do from the day i finally got here and totally surrendered. (i.e. SURRENDER-join the winning side) We get so many tools to not only keep us sober,but to enjoy an oasis of life.After 28 plus yrs. of sobriety,I still use a sponsor,I still go to meetings.I still work with others and I do my best to let HP stay in control. I never did well taking over His jobs.The best is yet to come,in every area of our lives!! Rememer,AA is not a do it yourself program.It is a reach out for help program!!TRUST GOD,CLEAN HOUSE AND HELP OTHERS!!!!!


Member: sober here
Location: florida
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 3:46:49 PM

Comments

to Mark in rome ,n.y. Remember ,it's AA thats infalible,not the people in it


Member: Dan L.
Location: Edgewood WA.
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 3:55:36 PM

Comments

Hi. I am new here. Today is my 1st visit. I have been sober for 15 years and last night at a meeting I admitted I have been wanting a drink for the past 5 months. I know why and what I have to do to not pick up that drink. I stopped going to meetings for 7 years and just recently started going back. I stopped doing everything that helped me get sober. The past 2 years have had major life changes and I didn't keep myself grounded. So now I have to go back to the basics. Going to meetings, Talking with my sponsor, working the steps and helping those who are still out there suffering. I'm glad I found this forum. Thank You


Member: Clara L.
Location: Fl
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 3:56:07 PM

Comments

the way I stay sober is, work the steps,step 1,2,3, is about our powerlessness, being restored to sanity and accepting a god of our understanding,when we ask he takes away the desire to drink,then comes 4,5,6 when we do a thourogh inventory and go before another human being and God, to talk about our shortcomings and recognize them, God takes them away, the only requirement is the williness, then comes 7,8,9, takeing action to mend some of the harm we had done in our drinking days. Then comes our maintaince steps that continues to keep us sober. What it all boils down to is changing everything, people, places, things. it is a process well worth the effort.So find a sponcer and get to work, Happy Soberity.


Member: Charles M.
Location: Central NY
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 4:05:53 PM

Comments

to drink or not to drink?bottom line to staying sober is "to thine own self be true".no amount of preaching will do it for you.all the praying and holding hands routine in public is really bogus.anyone out there see it differently?


Member: DonR
Location: Vancouver
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 5:49:43 PM

Comments

What do I do to help stay sober? I start my day by going through a check list of ways I get hooked into trying to prove to myself and others that I am worth something; being liked by others; being intelligent; having money or a job or a relationship. I try and get to the point where I see that I really don't have to prove to anyone that I am worth something. I just am....worth something. Then I go through another check list of errors that I frequently make in my thoughts that lead me to evaluating myself or comparing myself to others. Then I practice a little meditation to untangle my tangled mind. Then I go on with my day.


Member: William.A.
Location: High-Point
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 7:00:19 PM

Comments

Hello,William.A alkie.

Today ,I am doing just what you see to stay sober,two things you can't see is trusting GOD,Clearing away the wreckage of my past ,but the one main thing you can see is helping others. By using this site I am helping someone even if it is just myself.


Member: Joanna
Location: NW
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 7:04:08 PM

Comments

Joanna Alcoholic, glad to be sober and alive. Marcey C. Welcome,Lynne B, going to a meeting and talking to another woman in the fellowship will be helpful in answering your questions. Also welcome Brenda down in CA, and Todd good luck. What do I do to keep away from a drink today, well, I went to a meeting, I have been honest with the people around me, I have a desire to be sober. I believe God helps me everyday, everyway. I hear a message from another in a meeting and I know God is in my life, I reach my hand out because it was done to me and it proves (to me) that God is in the rooms helping us. I don't know what I do really that is special or helpful, I do all I can to be able to live with my self sober, I try to be honest, try to control my road-rage, I go to meeting and try to listen to the similarites, and reach my hand out even if just to say Hello, and don t play with fire,(old places, people and play ideas, not good for me). I don't want what I had when I got here, almost 5 years ago, I remember that, where I was, how I felt and what were my problems & my solutions, that alone helps me stay sober. I hope and pray we all stay sober, we are all needed to carry the message. Joanna


Member: daniel
Location:
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 7:24:09 PM

Comments

I am keeping myself occupied with my girlfriend and her kids and my daughter . She has helped me alot to keep from drinking . Because I use to drink alot until I met her We do alot of things together that does not involve alcohol. Because I have came to reason that they are more important than the brown bottle. Daniel


Member: daniel
Location:
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 7:24:30 PM

Comments

I am keeping myself occupied with my girlfriend and her kids and my daughter . She has helped me alot to keep from drinking . Because I use to drink alot until I met her We do alot of things together that does not involve alcohol. Because I have came to reason that they are more important than the brown bottle. Daniel


Member: AnilG
Location: Mt Vernon,Illinois
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 7:36:14 PM

Comments

What I am doing today to stay sober? Interesting topic what i have learned that one of the ways to stop from drinking is to attend as many meeting as possible. One time a psychiatrist says in the meeting that u only learn through your ass then going to your head meaning that when you attend these meetings all the time u have no time to think about drinking or taking drugs and slowly you learn through these meetings what the AA has to share with u. I agree to some extent what it really means. I like attend as many meetings as possible to stay sober.


Member: DonF
Location: NH
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 7:42:00 PM

Comments

Mark, 3/19 2am, If you're looking for something to get angry about in a meeting, you will find it, likewise if you're looking for an excuse to drink you can find it. If you're looking to stay sober, you can find help with that in a meeting too. Identify, don't compare. Nothing is so bad that a drink won't make it worse.


Member: Roxanne H
Location: Washington State
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 7:47:15 PM

Comments

I am Roxanne an alcholic, drug addict and i dont spell verry well either. Its been ten years or more sence I have been to a meeting. I am two days sober. How did I get two days? I have no idea. Fear keeps me from doing what I so desperitly need to do. Go to a meeting. fear, unexplainable,overwelming, unjustifilable fear. Thank you God, That There are some who have received your grace.


Member: matt l
Location: vt
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 8:00:17 PM

Comments

Matt alcoholic,im going crazy wanting to drink all the time. Been sober for about 32 days and i feel like im ready to go back out to the misery. I feel like a fish out of water. I dont want to see or talk to anyone for fear that ill fall into a bottle again. Life seems to suck as bad as it did 32 days ago, almost anyways. Im just so pissed off. Ive been trying to get this program for the last six years and i keep doing the same thing. Just reading over this i already know my problem. Ive got to get motivated to go to meetings and get more involved. i guess its the motivation im lacking. i feel like shit.


Member: matt l
Location: vt
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 8:00:39 PM

Comments

Matt alcoholic,im going crazy wanting to drink all the time. Been sober for about 32 days and i feel like im ready to go back out to the misery. I feel like a fish out of water. I dont want to see or talk to anyone for fear that ill fall into a bottle again. Life seems to suck as bad as it did 32 days ago, almost anyways. Im just so pissed off. Ive been trying to get this program for the last six years and i keep doing the same thing. Just reading over this i already know my problem. Ive got to get motivated to go to meetings and get more involved. i guess its the motivation im lacking. i feel like shit.


Member: Hipolito
Location: chi-town
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 8:10:16 PM

Comments

hi Hip alcoholic i get up in the morning get on my knees ask God for help (HP) if i need lots of help i ask for lots of help go to a meeting read the big book call my sponsor thank God at night before i go to bed don't think don't drink just go to meetings keep it simple god has a plan for me so i just try to stay out of the way and do the right thing one day at a time yep you heard it again one day at a time well thous are the five things my sponsor gave me to do at the beginning of this journey now i think i'm cured so i just check in once in awhile to get a reminder of what it was like out there ya i stray a little but i don't pick up and i try to practice the principles in all my affairs i really enjoy my life today !! that's why i keep cominhg back !!! thank God bless !!!


Member: JOHN W
Location: IL  
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 8:37:51 PM

Comments

TO0 MATT 1 I HAVE BEEN SOBER FOR 28DAYS ALL I CAN SAY IS HANG ON YOUR NOT ALONE OUT THERE STICK TO THE PROGRAM AND YOUR HIGHER POWER DAY BY DAY IT WILL GET EISER I KNOW ITS EASIER SAID THAN DONE TRUST ME GOOD LUCK AND STAY SOBER


Member: d leonard
Location: houston
Date: 3/19/01
Time: 9:39:59 PM

Comments

The only thing I can tell you is read the Big Book every day and get down on your knees in the morning and at night and go to meetings. I've been sober since April 12, 1992.


Member: Marcy
Location: CT
Date: 3/20/01
Time: 7:06:31 AM

Comments

THANKS to ALL who have welcomed me. Mary in Fairfield, I am in New Britain. Nice to meet you.

I have made it through 2 whole days... I guess that is supposed to be a big deal, but I have done that before...it's making it through about 4-6 when it gets too hard to continue. I will keep going however.

You can buy the blue book at Border's.

I have not gone to a meeting, but considering, but scared. Not sure I need them... this sucks big time. Thanks for the support. I will be back....

Marcy C


Member: Mark B.
Location: Eielson AFB, AK
Date: 3/20/01
Time: 9:26:44 AM

Comments

Mark alcoholic. Thanks Kim, I think reading your post was the reason why I asked the question. Hang tough.

Mark

Oh yeah, my iBook ROCKS


Member: Mark D
Location: Concord, NH
Date: 3/20/01
Time: 10:01:27 AM

Comments

(Marcy in CT)--Can't make it past 6 days? Stop mentally torturing yourself. You need it. Go to SOME meetings. More than likely, you'll find one you feel more comfortable at. Commit to that one meeting to start with. Talk to people face to face. These internet things are great but no substitute for regular meetings. Go and keep coming back. Don't think about it and don't talk yourself out of it.It's your thinking that has gotten you to feel this lousy. It's your thinking that tells you to drink. People who aren't alcoholics can go for indefinite periods of time without a drink. They also don't debate exhaustively in their mind, "Should I or shouldn't I??"

It's hard to do at first but it will get better. Good luck.


Member: Kaye F
Location:
Date: 3/20/01
Time: 10:56:31 AM

Comments

Marcy, I'm Heading to my 2nd meeting today. I tried to stop drinking on my own, even coming to this site for a long time. I can't do it on my own. I was so scared to go to a meeting yesterday,but when I got there the people were GREAT!! They really made me feel like this is the ANSWER! If I blow it again and drink I will probally lose my husband and kids. I'm overwhelmed with problems, family, financially and am suffering from depression. I don't know how to cope with it all without drinking but i've got to try to learn, one day at a time.Go to a meeting and give it a chance. Kay


Member: annie k.
Location: blue ridge mountains
Date: 3/20/01
Time: 11:57:00 AM

Comments

Not much to add really--I haven't had an original thought since I came to AA *grin* When I came to AA they told me that there was a solution and all I had to do was follow a few simple suggestions. Don't drink-Go to meetings-get a sponsor- work the steps. I did/do those things and I don't have to drink. My life is comfortable(mostly) and my spiritual condition and service work keeps me in the recovery line. My favorite little ditty is P-U-S-H : Pray Until Something Happens! AA put it's hand out to me and I put my hand out to the next drunk that comes looking for a way out of the bondage and agony of alcoholism. I was a daily drunk for 25 years. If this can work for me, it can work for you. If you really want it and are willing to go to any lengths to stay sober, you can have it too. God has a deal for drunks who don't drink. Todd-I went to high school in Edwardsville. There is lots of good AA in your area and lots of quality sobriety. Reach out for it. If you go to a meeting and put your hand out, someone will take it and pull you into your life. All the newcomers to this way of life: Trust God and the program of AA. We need you to come to meetings, as much as you need to come. We want you to come. Put your fear into God's hands and come through these doors today. You don't have to live like this anymore. There is a solution.


Member: Kim D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: 3/20/01
Time: 1:27:05 PM

Comments

Mark - thanks, man. I'll try.


Member: Mary
Location: CT
Date: 3/20/01
Time: 2:00:54 PM

Comments

((Marcy C.)) nice to meet you too. You can do it if I can... I went to my 1st meeting last night and just got back from my 2nd at a different location today. Checking things out and it feels good, will keep going back. Not as scary as you think- today I immediately raised my hand to introduce myself as being new there... shocked myself I was able to do it at such a big meeting. Force yourself to get over that initial hump, and it should get easier each time thereafter. I too have been able to not drink for a few days plenty of time when I was not thinking about it. The wkend is what scares me.. but one day at a time. ((Mark D.)) is right- don't think about it, just do it. You'll surprise yourself. ((Kaye))- psyched to hear you started yesterday too. Way to go...Keep at it and checking in here. I'll be back. =) Mary


Member: Jeff W
Location: Olympia, Washington
Date: 3/20/01
Time: 2:22:15 PM

Comments

Hi I'm Jeff a greatful recoverying alcholic and drug addict. First welcome to all of the newcomers on the board today, may god help you to make it clean and sober through another 24. The way for me to stay clean and sober today is like a lot of you have alrady said, prayer and meditation in the morning, asking only for guidence of what I can do for god today. Not drinking today, not worrying about drinking tomorrow and being clean and sober for ME not trying to do it to please other people in my life. I do not say that to be selfish, just stating a fact, I tried to sober up for everyone but me before and carried around so much resentment that I was bound to start drinking again. I can attest to the miracle of AA as it has happened to me, I have been clean for 7 years and sober for 15 months and the desire to drink or use has been lifted from my soul. Work the steps, get a sponser, and give service back to the fellowship, we can do it ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!


Member: gimmie a break
Location:
Date: 3/20/01
Time: 2:47:33 PM

Comments

(((((jeff))) FACE IT YOU HAVE 15 MONTHS!!!!complete abstinance...


Member: gimmie a break
Location:
Date: 3/20/01
Time: 2:48:10 PM

Comments

(((((jeff))) FACE IT YOU HAVE 15 MONTHS!!!!complete abstinance...


Member: Marcy C
Location: CT
Date: 3/20/01
Time: 2:49:37 PM

Comments

Thanks to everyone for your comments and words of support. I really do hear what you all are saying about meetings, and just doing it, and once you do, it works, etc. But one thing, I think Mark was saying, was to STOP thinking about drinking... to get out of that frame of mind... etc. That sounds like a great plan, but how, after only 2 days, does one just stop thinking about it. I want to drink. I want to know after work I can stop by my favorite package store, buy a bottle of wine, and go home and have dinner, a drink, and do some work around the home, and drink. It just does not stop being a thought or a feeling after only two days... does it? I'm not depressed that I am not drinking, nor do I want to drink because I am depressed... I just like my drinks. I am not going to drink, but, what's with the thought that one should just stop dwelling on it. That's what AA seems to do... dwell on not being able to drink. So, I'm confused. Sorry, but this bothers me and I don't know what else to do but look and SEEK the answers. Marcy


Member: lu-lu
Location:
Date: 3/20/01
Time: 3:12:40 PM

Comments

I was suppossed to go to a meeting with a 30 day blunder fresh outa treatment(in only a 2 week stint they have created a monster..)... at 7 p.m. she said she did not want to go to the meeting cause she ate a sleeping pill, i told her well... i guess you will have one day tommorrow... nah ah, she whinned i have thirty days....she is so stupid ( or maybe "new) that she thinks it is "my opinion" that WE DON'T TAKE PILLS TO SLEEP IN A.A. when i was new, and depressed, crying, sweating all nite, my head screaming,moods swinging, etc... "they" had me DO things (not take things)things like ;read the book, call someone, pray, go to a meeting write, drink tea, hot baths, candles, etc... taking a pill when it is not the way my doctor prescribed is considered a slippy poo... i might as well drink... same thing...sorry i just had to get that out... guess i'm jealous i want to take a sleeping pill and keep my time... te he he


Member: lu-lu
Location:
Date: 3/20/01
Time: 3:18:49 PM

Comments

I was suppossed to go to a meeting with a 30 day blunder fresh outa treatment(in only a 2 week stint they have created a monster..)... at 7 p.m. she said she did not want to go to the meeting cause she ate a sleeping pill, i told her well... i guess you will have one day tommorrow... nah ah, she whinned i have thirty days....she is so stupid ( or maybe "new) that she thinks it is "my opinion" that WE DON'T TAKE PILLS TO SLEEP IN A.A. when i was new, and depressed, crying, sweating all nite, my head screaming,moods swinging, etc... "they" had me DO things (not take things)things like ;read the book, call someone, pray, go to a meeting write, drink tea, hot baths, candles, etc... taking a pill when it is not the way my doctor prescribed is considered a slippy poo... i might as well drink... same thing...sorry i just had to get that out... guess i'm jealous i want to take a sleeping pill and keep my time... te he he


Member: LU-LU; out of respect and in honor of "singleness of purpose" i identify as;
Location: alcoholic ( even though I KNOW i've done mountains of drugs)
Date: 3/20/01
Time: 3:41:08 PM

Comments

hi i'm dumb-shit, alcoholic "ADDICT" i can't stay sober for any substantial length of time for a # of reasons... one is that i have no respect or understanding of "SINGLENESS OF PURPOSE" and either i'm too pridefull to admit i don't know what it means or i'm too egotistical, to believe it applies to me... you see I am "different" from the rest of you ordinary "alcoholics" I am "unique" i'm not JUST an alcoholic... I am an alcoholic AAAAND an "addict" i have no concept of the meaning of "singleness of purpose, "OUR " common welfare does not come into play HERE cause this is about and for MEEEE, CAUSE I'M DIFFERENT, the part about, "PRINCIPALS BEFORE PERSONALITIES" does not pertain to MEEEEE . cause i'm different principals befor personalities could not posibly mean you expect me to put some stupid principal like "singleness of purpose before " MY personality....? I DON'T KNOW WHY I CAN'T EVEN GET A YEAR...i'm trying.. to be a member amoung members...

,ever notice only 1 in 1000 oldtimers/or people with 5-10 pull that "alcoholic/addict,crap. ever notice most people who identify are fresh out of treatment and /or ARE CRONIC "RELAPSERS... hhhuummmm


Member: LU-LU; out of respect and in honor of "singleness of purpose" i identify as;
Location: alcoholic ( even though I KNOW i've done mountains of drugs)
Date: 3/20/01
Time: 3:42:08 PM

Comments

hi i'm dumb-shit, alcoholic "ADDICT" i can't stay sober for any substantial length of time for a # of reasons... one is that i have no respect or understanding of "SINGLENESS OF PURPOSE" and either i'm too pridefull to admit i don't know what it means or i'm too egotistical, to believe it applies to me... you see I am "different" from the rest of you ordinary "alcoholics" I am "unique" i'm not JUST an alcoholic... I am an alcoholic AAAAND an "addict" i have no concept of the meaning of "singleness of purpose, "OUR " common welfare does not come into play HERE cause this is about and for MEEEE, CAUSE I'M DIFFERENT, the part about, "PRINCIPALS BEFORE PERSONALITIES" does not pertain to MEEEEE . cause i'm different principals befor personalities could not posibly mean you expect me to put some stupid principal like "singleness of purpose before " MY personality....? I DON'T KNOW WHY I CAN'T EVEN GET A YEAR...i'm trying.. to be a member amoung members...

,ever notice only 1 in 1000 oldtimers/or people with 5-10 pull that "alcoholic/addict,crap. ever notice most people who identify are fresh out of treatment and /or ARE CRONIC "RELAPSERS... hhhuummmm


Member: rayday75@hotmail.com
Location: oklahoma
Date: 3/20/01
Time: 4:19:04 PM

Comments

Lets cut the ref-raf. I had been trying to stop drinking for a long time before I finally got it. I know not ever method works for everyone but one of my sponsors, caught me on a bad day about two yrs ago and he said somthing real nice in public that made me step back and take a look at myself and what I was doing. He simply asked if I was keeping it simple. I'd heard the the KISS phrase before(keep it simple stupid) but I never took it to heart till then. In rehab they taught us to change the simple things and others will fall into place; change your diet: no more "pork chop in a can" and no more "beer before coffee". Matt1- The cravings you are having are from the body trying to replace all the vitamins and sugar that alcohol washed out. whether you chose to replenish it with alcohol or a hot fuge sunday is you choice. Try picking up some vitamin B1 at the store instead of a 12pk. its cheaper and there are no consiquenses. I guarantee you will see a change in your "give a shit". <<lynne B.>> If you need a big book e-mail me your home address and I will see to it that you get one. good luck!


Member: rayday75@hotmail.com
Location: Oklahoma
Date: 3/20/01
Time: 4:28:34 PM

Comments

LU-LU: I would love to have you as a e-mail friend. some of your responses has given me the courage and willingness to change.

E-mail me- rayday75@hotmail.com


Member: Bill M.
Location: Southeast Georgia
Date: 3/20/01
Time: 4:35:00 PM

Comments

I'm Bill, alcoholic What seemed so awful in the begining, is now a way of living today. Following directions isn't one of my best activities, in fact reading the directions wasn't of much interest either. When all else fails read the directions. When I got to AA, reading wasn't an option, but trying to listen was. The ones at the AA meetings were happy, I wasn't. They were laughing, talking about family and friends, I wasn't. I just didn't want to live anymore and thought I would take my own life. This was my bottom and the book says we must reach a bottom before we are able to get better. The book also says that alcohol is the best motivator for getting to the bottom - to go to the nearest bar and try some controlled drinking and if you live and find this is not for you, possibly you can get sober. I thought maybe I had too much brain damage or had a "wet brain" as many do. (note some of the text above). I also know that I could have read all the books and self help guides and with enough booze died drunk. It was the people, that got me sober. They couldn't help without my permission though. They said they knew how I felt and that it didn't have to be that way any more. I believed them. I tried for once in my life to do something that someone else suggested without arguing. Actually what I learned AFTER "I knew it all", was what saved my life. When we get all the shit slung out and are willing we are able to start to change. Self centeredness soon becomes the problelm and then self rightousness and we have to have a sponsor and a Higher Power, and with so little we get better. We do this for the same reason we drank. To feel better. I don't know anyone that drank to throw up, go to jail or run off their friends and family. It was always to feel better than we presently felt. And we only have to do it one day at the time which makes it nice. Getting sober in AA is the easier softer way. It just works. Sorry for taking to much time.


Member: Bill M.
Location: Southeast Georgia
Date: 3/20/01
Time: 4:35:29 PM

Comments

I'm Bill, alcoholic What seemed so awful in the begining, is now a way of living today. Following directions isn't one of my best activities, in fact reading the directions wasn't of much interest either. When all else fails read the directions. When I got to AA, reading wasn't an option, but trying to listen was. The ones at the AA meetings were happy, I wasn't. They were laughing, talking about family and friends, I wasn't. I just didn't want to live anymore and thought I would take my own life. This was my bottom and the book says we must reach a bottom before we are able to get better. The book also says that alcohol is the best motivator for getting to the bottom - to go to the nearest bar and try some controlled drinking and if you live and find this is not for you, possibly you can get sober. I thought maybe I had too much brain damage or had a "wet brain" as many do. (note some of the text above). I also know that I could have read all the books and self help guides and with enough booze died drunk. It was the people, that got me sober. They couldn't help without my permission though. They said they knew how I felt and that it didn't have to be that way any more. I believed them. I tried for once in my life to do something that someone else suggested without arguing. Actually what I learned AFTER "I knew it all", was what saved my life. When we get all the shit slung out and are willing we are able to start to change. Self centeredness soon becomes the problelm and then self rightousness and we have to have a sponsor and a Higher Power, and with so little we get better. We do this for the same reason we drank. To feel better. I don't know anyone that drank to throw up, go to jail or run off their friends and family. It was always to feel better than we presently felt. And we only have to do it one day at the time which makes it nice. Getting sober in AA is the easier softer way. It just works. Sorry for taking to much time.


Member: crazed
Location:
Date: 3/20/01
Time: 5:23:31 PM

Comments

rayday.......hmmmmmm tele #'s

watch out lu-lu........no panties i know....

teeh-he-he


Member: joe r
Location:
Date: 3/20/01
Time: 7:21:27 PM

Comments

i need a big book too


Member: joe r
Location:
Date: 3/20/01
Time: 7:21:35 PM

Comments

i need a big book too


Member: joe r
Location:
Date: 3/20/01
Time: 7:21:42 PM

Comments

i need a big book too


Member: Donnie M
Location: W.Va.
Date: 3/20/01
Time: 10:06:56 PM

Comments

HI, all and WELCOME newcomer`s and like they told me keep coming back.I have some suggestion`s,and I was told to try to go to 90 meeting`s in 90 day`s.(which early in soberity this seemed to be FOREVER),but just hang in there ,and it will get easier.I was also told to read the BIG BOOK AND THE 1st THREE STEP`S IN THE 12 AND 12 BOOK.(try page 449 in the big book).TO find a sponor is a important thing to do I would ask in meeting`s you will be amazed how the oldtimer`s will help you.I hoped I`ve helped one if not all.Thank`s for listening,and GOD BLESS ALL WHO TRY.


Member: Carol S. W.
Location: South St Louis
Date: 3/20/01
Time: 11:42:08 PM

Comments

I'm Carol, alcoholic. Lots of crazies out there this week and it's only tuesday. How do I stay clean and sober today and the 15+ years before today? It's so simple that many people are too smart to get it. Or, maybe they just haven't suffered enough. I was suicidal, desparate, sick and tired of being sick and tired, and ready to listen to someone besides the screaming loonies in my head when I was put into treatment October 1985. Almost 20 years of hard core drinking and drugging got me to a place where I was willing to listen to someone else and change "just a little."

Out of treatment I went to AA and heard the old standbys: (1) Don't drink or do drugs (2) GO TO MEETINGS (3) Get a sponsor and call her (4) Read the big book (5) Work the steps. Tall order for most of us self-will run riot types, so at first, all I could do was not drink or drug and go to meetings. And I eventually got a sponsor and when I complained about the weirdos in the meetings she said "Identify don't compare."

And somehow, with the grace of God and my small amount of willingness, I heard what I needed to hear and I did what I needed to do.

And I've said it before here and I'll keep saying it: You can't think your way into right acting, you have to act your way into right thinking! In other words, there is no magic lightning bolt that will make you be cured all at once. You've got to stop the drink and the drugs FIRST. Then go to meetings and be willing to CHANGE your way of life. Find people who have what you want and talk to them about staying clean and sober. Your thinking will eventually change.

Everyone of us who is sober and clean started out just like the newcomers to this discussion: scared and despairing. But we found that willingness to stop drinking just for today and go to meetings and listen. Today we are happy, joyous, and FREE from the bondage of the drink and drug.

AA works. I'm living proof. And to Todd from Belleville, Illinois: come on across the river to St Louis, there's lots of meetings and sobriety over here and we love newcomers. (There's also lots of sobriety in Belleville, too. I bet they'd welcome you, too.)

Great topic! Keep coming back, it works when you work it.


Member: DRY IN THE DESERT
Location: NEVADA
Date: 3/20/01
Time: 11:42:28 PM

Comments

Good Evening Everyone; My name is Walter and I am an Alcoholic...

Welcome to all the newcomers....may you each find the wonderful sobriety that I've have been blessed with for nearly 12 years....

Great topic !!

Today...as most days, I started with a very, very simple prayer:

"THANK YOU FOR MY BEAUTIFUL LIFE OF SOBRIETY...PLEASE LET ME SEE YOUR GUIDANCE TODAY"

That always seems to put the day's challenges in a spiritual perspective for me...


Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: 3/21/01
Time: 1:28:19 AM

Comments

HI everyone Bill here Alcoholic from Arizona. On August 21, 1981 I woke up and it took about a third of a quart to stop the morning shakes and the morning heaves. I went to the bar and continued to drink until about 3pm. At that point, I walked out of that bar and have never to return to a bar to drink since.

I have learned a few simple things since then. First I clinically detoxed in the normal 3 to 5 days. I am a medical care professional and can prove that. Detoxed means but one thing. The physical compulsion to drink had left me. I am no longer toxic. However,as an alcoholic I have a brain that will tells me I can drink and a body that tells me I cannot. So all I had to do was change the way I think about alcohol. I did this with the 12 Steps

Meetings will not keep me sober, but I do find other alcoholics to help there. God will not keep me sober unless I seek him. So now I have two choices each and every morning. One drink until I die and two seek spiritual help.

I found that the 3rd step prayer was effective. "God I offer my self to thee....." says it all. I have not found the need to use any other prayer. I do an eleventh Step by just running through what I have to do that day. Meditation for me is only deep thinking. I read a the daily refections for that day. That keeps me current on the steps. the traditions. and I add the concepts since I am in service. I stay out of self by helping another human being. My email is very handy for that. If you are having trouble finding another human being to help, just look around the corner. I just got back from a 3 day Area Assembly. That in an of itself is sobering. :) and as Jo put it I just don't drink.

Welcome to the newcomers. Give me a holler Lynne B. I have the directories for meetings all over the world. Just give me the name of the closest city or Cites to you.

Just keep this thing as simple as you can. I used to have a whole bookcase of self help books. I trashed them and stayed in the Big Book. I rarely even read the 12x12.

K.I.S.S.

Bill

az-bill@primenet.com


Member: Jack B
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Date: 3/21/01
Time: 2:21:44 AM

Comments

Hi I am Jack a real alcoholic.Great topic, what are we doing today to stay sober. I keep this program simple.I have enjoyed continued sobriety from Nov 23, 1987 until today by just doing the following on a daily basis. Each morning thank God for another day of life and ask his Grace to stay sober for the next twenty four hours.At the end of the day thank him for his blessing. Also the following seems to help me: 1/Don't pick up the first drink no matter what. 2/Trust God. 3/Clean house where necessary. 4/Help another alcoholic. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless all on our path in recovery.


Member: Arlene
Location: Washington State
Date: 3/21/01
Time: 7:50:56 AM

Comments

Arlene,alcoholic. Lynne the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. Go to meetings and keep coming back. All will be revealed. You don't need a sponser to join. That is what I thought when I first came in. All you need is willingness and an open mind. I stay sober the same way I did when I first came in, I keep coming back to meetings.


Member: Jeff W
Location: Olympia, Wa
Date: 3/21/01
Time: 10:58:02 AM

Comments

Yo Gimme a Break, I know that I only have 15 months!!! Thanks to this program the urge to drink and USE are gone. Its nice to see that you are so supportive of your fellow alcholics!!! NOT!!!


Member: Marie
Location: Pennsylvania
Date: 3/21/01
Time: 2:12:15 PM

Comments

TODD - GO TO A MEETING AND GET PHONE NUMBERS IF YOU WANT TO STAY SOBER!!!

Thanks for the topic Mark. I am Marie and I am an alcoholic. I can't say that I do all that is suggested because I usually forget to say something to God in the morning. I used to, and I got out of the habit as time has gone on, and one day I said to myself, what do you think you're special, that you don't have to pray in the morning anymore?? So I've been trying, but halfheartedly I will admit. What I do do is that I try to be as honest as I can every day. I try to be the best person I can be every day. This is all in the steps. All the little things that add up. Try not to explode at someone, use patience. Talk to a higher power, ask to be shown what to do in difficult situations. Ask to be shown the best way to live the day. Make amends if needed. Take time for introspection. Take a bath and relax if you need it. Call your sponsor. Talk about what goes on in your head. Keep nothing a secret. You are only as sick as your secrets. Eat 3 meals a day. HALT--watch out for. Thank God, or whoever you pray to for keeping you sober. Ask for what you need from God, faith, courage.... God will give you what you ask for.

To put it simply, be as honest as you can and you will more than likely stay sober. Be patient with you. Thanks for the topic again Mark and I wish you well. Sending you all love....Marie


Member: GetBackJoe!
Location: "Hell"
Date: 3/21/01
Time: 5:30:38 PM

Comments

Clear away the smog and soot that is covering your eyes, clear away the utopian visions of "better times ahead," clear away all the lies that are stored in your brain, and get a clear vision of reality! That's true sobriety that will endure it all and last till God knows when!!


Member: TOM G.
Location: nfld
Date: 3/21/01
Time: 6:13:04 PM

Comments

Hi friends I'm Tom and I'm an alcholic,through the grace of GOD & the steps and trad's of AA I havent found it nessary to drink since may22/78 for which Iam gratful/but dont think that its any easier now to stay sober its not ,because after that lenth of soberity I sliped back last year to useing drugs[weed&hash]so where did I go wrong,I believe even dou I did'nt drink alchol I still sliped ,because I stoped going to my regular meetings and got away from the fellowship {excuse] working long hours[[BULLSHIT]] so if I have any message here tonight it dont think you can stay sober on your own without Help from GOD . Thats what happened to me I rested on my lorals and almost drank again .I have been back to the meetings but never shared this story about my SmokingUp ,I am ashamed to talk about it to my sponcer,but I know in my heart and soul I will have to soon if I am to trudge the path of happy destany again,Pray for me ,its real hard to get back with this guilt I have inside,I am in termoil over this and feel like I am choking,I feel a little better now that I've told someone about it ,I am comming up on my 23 sober birthday[alchol free] I should say,I need HELP now more than I ever did before,just to stay away from my other [crouch] .Can anyone please share their experance/strenght/and hope/ with me in regards to dealing with this delamma.Thanks for the oppertunity to get this off my chest. GOD BLESS YOU ALL ////TOM


Member: Robert C
Location: OH
Date: 3/21/01
Time: 7:01:42 PM

Comments

Hey everyone, I try to keep it simple and start the day with a prayer, work obsesivly, end the work day with a prayer, and go home to my kids and go to bed with a prayer...It has kept me sober, and with God's grace will continue so..


Member: RobertC
Location: OH
Date: 3/21/01
Time: 7:09:51 PM

Comments

Hello all, stay sober with prayer and family. Counseling in the middle..


Member: Chris B.
Location: Annapolis
Date: 3/21/01
Time: 8:31:30 PM

Comments

Thank you all for sharing. I am an alcoholic and an addict. I would like to say that I have 24 days, and have been to meetings every day, have a sponsor, a coffee job, a home group, everything they told me in rehab to do... I think you have to do what they tell you, no matter what it is - they are the sober ones. Plus, I consider it practice for the 3rd step, which I am still working on. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: joe
Location:
Date: 3/21/01
Time: 8:57:16 PM

Comments

i need abig book with no soot on it


Member: willie D
Location: Florida
Date: 3/21/01
Time: 9:41:04 PM

Comments

Willie here, I am new to this ...I have been going to my meetings , and trying to stay away from people that have a bad influence on my life.


Member: robertc
Location: oh
Date: 3/21/01
Time: 10:29:59 PM

Comments

Depending on a definition of a wet place.... staying away is best,this includes bad influences. And if not, wear a raincoat..ha.


Member: Joan H
Location: Southern Illinois
Date: 3/21/01
Time: 11:44:51 PM

Comments

Hello, my name is Joan and I am a grateful recovering alcoholic and addict. I have been clean and sober for 14 days today and it's been a rough ride but I am surviving. I've been in and out of the program a few times in the last 6 years but I guess I never quite got it cause I thought I could stop going to meetings and start using again. I thought I was cured, or I never was a "REAL" alcoholic. I have heard this from many others who failed at trying to "manage" their own lives and returned to drinking. I am so grateful to be sober today and that I have found this simple program. How am I staying sober? I am hitting at least one meeting a day, calling my sponsor daily, reading the literature, praying to my HP, and most importantly (for myself anyway) trying to live in today cause I have no control over the past or the future. If I get all caught up in my head and let my thoughts race I can make myself pretty crazy, but I am learning one day at a time that there is a better way. I am going to try to get out of my own way and let HP do for me what I can't do by myself. By the Grace of God I am sober today and when I go to meetings I see and experience what it means to have hope. I don't want my misery to be refunded. Thanks for the topic. This is my first visit to this or any other online meeting. Thanks to all for being here and sharing your experience strength and hope.

God Bless


Member: James P
Location: In
Date: 3/22/01
Time: 3:24:17 AM

Comments

Yes my name is James and i am an alcoholic and im looking for meeting type chatrooms.If you know where i can fine these meetings please e-mail the site to at...www.lucretius3rd@yahoo.com Thank you for your help.Im just looking to chatwithothers and not type this kinda interaction.I want to chat like you do in a chatroom only right then and there.i am 2 and a half yrs sober and enjoy online chatting. Thank You....James P. Indiana


Member: Corinne B., Alcoholic here, there & staying awake well.
Location: Sleepless in Camino, CA
Date: 3/22/01
Time: 3:36:17 AM

Comments

Hi ((DMers))!! How to do it? ODAAT most definitely! I love when I hear others say they didn't come to AA to stop drinking, because I didn't really want to have to do that either when I first got here. I wanted to be told how I could continue doing all the crazy s88t I'd been doing and get away with it, without all the crazy s88t happening all around it! I knew my life had evolved into a hellacious Catch 22 and I desperately wanted someone to tell me how to stop it without really having to change any of the so-called fun parts! LOL!!!

Once I figured out that change was the name of the game, I became very scared, because I was sure I wouldn't be able to effectuate any sort of lasting change. Why? Because I'd tried so many times to change my life, but ever change I made ended up bringing me back to the same life over and over again. Of course, those were all external changes, like change of clothes, change of men, change of homes & jobs, what I drank, where I drank, etc., etc.

Once I realized that what it was gonna take to not go insane behind alcoholism was to stop drinking, I returned to AA and eventually began to actually work those darned 12 steps. They bring me to the threshold of getting honest with myself and my husband and all those other people whose paths intersect with my life. I don't beat myself up when the learning curve gets real darned curvy, either. I've learned to laugh at myself, not take myself so darned seriously and to live life to its fullest by being of highest and best use to whatever it is the ol' HP needs me to do each day. I keep it in the day, as I can't get done tomorrow what isn't here yet for me to do, and I can't re-do something from the past that's already gotten done. No use worrying about all of that.

Lastly, service work seems a major asset to have in my corner this sobriety that I pretty much ignored last go round; that, and a homegroup committment. Big difference in attending meetings and belonging to a home group. Going early, staying late. I'm usually the first one there and last to leave; a throwback from being the youngest child - always afraid I'll miss something! LOL!!! One thing I don't wanna miss, and that's being sober one more day, each day, and also being there for the next newcomer who'll walk in the door ready to receive the message that perhaps I'm the one who can deliver.


Member: sonia and cat
Location: uk
Date: 3/22/01
Time: 6:16:11 AM

Comments

Today to stay sober i am trying to accept life as it is, in part of accepting life as it is, i have to accept that i dont like it all the time, that i dont like having no money, i dont like being me sometiems, i dontlike living where i live sometimes, i dont like some people, places and things. If i ty to deny the part of me that doesnt like these things, thenit forever fights to be heard, but upon hearing and listening to that part of me, i can then choose to go with the part of me that can see light, I guess then in the scheme of things life then becomes a choice. sounds simple, but its not.

insane.sonia@ntlworld.com


Member: Mark B.
Location: Eielson AFB, AK
Date: 3/22/01
Time: 10:18:10 AM

Comments

Mark, alcoholic. Kim, you just DO it! See, back when I was a newcomer, sometimes I kept coming back just to piss those oldtimers off who said, "Boy, you can't talk about drugs in here." Or, you can't say God and fuck in the same sentance." Uh huh.....Watch me. I'm still talking to some of those oldtimers, who are now real old. We all laugh about those times cuz they had me read correctly. Tell me I CAN'T do something, yeah right. I decided a long time ago that no external influence will make me drink. NOTHING. I've been through deaths in the family, divorce, disease, a declared war and a couple of little actions we don't talk about in which they were shooting at us, and nothing external will make me drink. Being in the life and death business for a living, I've seen a lot of death. I don't want to die before my time. God's restored me to sanity regarding booze and dope. They will kill me dead. The choice is clear, life or death. I don't want to die, so I won't drink or use, under any circumstance. God gives me the fucking strength to trudge through anything, if I ask him. He's always been there for me, the prayer "Footprints", today, it's my reality, God carries me at all times. I just do the simple stuff and he takes care of the rest. Damn, I do today things I used to dream about from a barstool or a drug induced fog. Lu-Lu, you be a girl after my own heart. I remember what my old sponsor told me before I left Edwards AFB many years ago; "Well, we've worked the steps together, you know what you need to do, your primary purpose now is to, comfort the disturbed, and disturb those in comfort." Shit, it's been 12 years now since I left SoCal and his direction still applies. So does some of the earliest direction I was ever given in the program. At my first meeting at the Scout hut at Rhein-Main AFB, I was the lowest ranking military person there. I was an A1C again because my commander took a stripe to get my attention. Anyway, there was a full Colonel there, I knew who he was and where he worked, so like a good drunk, I filed that info away to be use later. After the meeting in which I was introduced as a first-timer in AA, he came up to me, gave me a hug and told me to " Mark, just keep coming back, and don't drink or use between meetings." I was so fucked up, in such a fog, that I took it as an order, and 16 years later, it's still a lawful binding order for me. Today, I haven't pissed or shit myself, haven't lied to anybody, stole anything, or hurt anybody. Ain't much for most people, but for me and where I came from, that is a miracle. It's early in the am and the temp outside here in balmy Alaska is is -21. I love life today, breathing in and breathing out, everything else is a fringe benefit of sobriety. Enough from me on my soapbox. I gotta shit , shower and shave, put on my uniform, and get on with it. Hugs to all

Mark


Member: willieD
Location: florida
Date: 3/22/01
Time: 10:35:20 AM

Comments

Hi Mark I am in a program now and I am hoping that It will be enough for me to stop what I was doing for the sake of my kids and family and for myself to get more focused on my life and what it has to offer to me ,


Member: Mark C.
Location: NYC
Date: 3/22/01
Time: 10:41:07 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Mark C., an alcoholic from New York. Thanks Mark B. for a great topic. This for me is the most important topic in this or any program.

I keep my sobriety the first priority. I keep it present in my mind by starting the day with a visit to online recovery sites like this one. Sometimes I'll visit a few in a single day, if I find myself with time on my hands like today. By visiting these sites I am reminded of two things, 1) alcohol messes up alcoholics, 2) many alcoholics are sober.

If I think abut drinking during the day, I jump down on that thought. I use a technique called Rational Emotive Therapy (RET) which they are big on in a group called SMART Recovery. It's very helpful for me.

If something is bothering me I turn it over to my higher power. I'm an atheist, so that means letting the physical universe unfold as it is meant to. I know that if I stay sober, everything in my life will be better in the long term. AA has taught me that recognition and acceptance of the fact that there are higher powers out there makes life easier to live and makes it much easier not to drink.

And that's about it.


Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 3/22/01
Time: 12:10:15 PM

Comments

prayer for strenth in the morning,prayer of thanks in the evening,the grapevine,live meetings,the daily reflections,the big book,aa comes of age,alcohol web sites,staying in today,catch phrases(move a muscle change a thought) phone calls to my alkie(sober) freinds,doing something good for someone else,being honest,trying to eat right,taking the time to have a pleasant appearance today,believing in hope and a higher power,and just plain being thankful to be alive...i'm tony an alcoholic


Member: LeAnn
Location: ID.
Date: 3/22/01
Time: 12:39:24 PM

Comments

Hi Everyone! My name is LeAnn, and I am an alcoholic. I want to welcome all the newcomers. What am I doing today to stay sober? I've been sober since Sept. 1985. This last year has been rough, and because of that I've had to go back to basics. The bottom line, don't drink. No matter what. Next, put one foot in front of the other, do whats in front of me to do then go on to the next thing. For quite awhile that was all I was able to do, but with doing that, I didn't need to drink over the things happening in my life. Gradually I was able to get back to saying Good Morning God, it's me, LeAnn, the alcoholic. Let's do today. Today I still have times when I drop back into the basics. But I still haven't had to take that drink. As long as I keep my sobriety first, ALWAYS. Stay willing, honest, and openminded, follow a "few simple rules" to the best of my ability each day, I know that I have a chance to stay sober today. To Mark A. > I have found that when I go to a meeting and find all negatives that's what I'm focusing on. When I go to a meeting focusing on postives I'll find that too. Doesn't mean the negative crap isn't there or isn't happening, it just means that I am responsible for my perceptions. My perceptions are usully based on what I'm dwelling on more. Negatives or Positives. The choice is always mine.


Member: JanineB
Location: Pennsylvania
Date: 3/22/01
Time: 12:43:07 PM

Comments

Hi all. I'm Janine, and I am an alcoholic. I went to my first face to face meeting, yesterday, after struggling with the ups and downs of drinking. Went weeks at a time not drinking, and then thinking, "Oh, I can do this, I can stop at a couple". No, I can't. I was a little scared about going to a meeting because "*I'M* not a drunk like *they* are!" But, I put my head down, walked up the steps to the church where it was held and walked in and sat down.

I just listened. I looked around. I saw people, people just like me, professionals, blue collar workers, old, young, male, female. They all looked relaxed and happy to be there, and happy to see me. It was rather comforting, and I thought "If they can do this, if they can walk in and talk and still hold their head up high, so can I. They really have *done* something to be proud of".

So, instead of being ashamed and embarrased about this alcoholism, I will accept it, and I will do something about it.

This meeting was held during my lunch hour, so I didn't allow enough time to stay afterwards, but I will do this tomorrow. I will overcome my shyness and talk to one person.

So, that's how I am keeping from drinking. Deciding NOT to drink today. Like dieting, I'd kind of loose interest in that as the day went on any my boredom and/or stress level increased. I can see that the face to face meetings are important, because you need a real live human being who understands you and what you are going through to hold your hand, pat your shoulder and help you through.

This forum is important, as well, as it can remind you during the day when you can't get to anyone.

Thanks for being here.


Member: rhonda
Location: help
Date: 3/22/01
Time: 12:57:40 PM

Comments

my lawnmower wont stay running it starts up runs a few seconds then dies same thing over and over,i may loose my sobriety over this


Member: ELLIOTT
Location: CURTIS
Date: 3/22/01
Time: 1:05:45 PM

Comments

IAM ELLIOTT AND I BEEN IN AA FOR NINE YEAYS AND I LIKE IT TO, YOU CAN LEARN ALLOT FROM AA MEETING AND DON'T HAVE TO COME AND TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSO THAT DOES'T RELATE TO AA MEETINGS AT ALL, AA IS GOOD FOR EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, THINK ABOUT YOUR LIFE AND OTHER'S TO GOD BLESS EVERBODY IN THE WORLD MY LORD FOR EVER.


Member: rhonda
Location:
Date: 3/22/01
Time: 2:42:40 PM

Comments

i shot my lawnmower twice in the cylinder head


Member: Perry A.
Location: South Africa
Date: 3/22/01
Time: 3:02:15 PM

Comments

Hi I'm Perry, an alcoholic.

What I do today to keep sober, pray to my HP, talk to my sponsor "about real personal issues", do the steps to the best of my ability (which at times is pathetic), and share my experience, strength, and hope with antoher alcoholic. And, when the going gets rough, hang in there till it gets better, and keep sharing like my life depends upon it. That's about all I know on this topic. Good one thanks!

Katie d, what a wonderful woman he has that you care as you do. Many people would just cash it in and leave him before he causes you more harm. While that may be a part of the answer, I found these doors myself through encouragement from someone who cared enough about me to let me know. Your friend's black outs are more baffling to your friend than to you, and denial is a large part of this disease. With this in mind, I have to let you know that you can't make anyone else sober, and that's a sobering fact. But you can honestly point out your experiences, and suggest him to seek help, and try AA. He sounds like me, I did that sort of thing too. Well, the program works if you want it, and he'd have to want it for himself. Here's my suggestion to him. Check out some face-to-face meetings, say go to 10 and see if he thinks he's an alcoholic or not. If he doesn't think so he can just walk out the door. But if he continues to drink like that you'd be nutts to stay with him, because you can only help him by helping yourself. I know this is tough advice, but it is the best I have to offer based on my experience. I do wish him well, and you too, in your paths to a sober life. I hope it works out for you.

Red Z, you're a typical marxist for sure! Not much for the traditions are you? And a higher power, no you don't need one cause you've got the all powerful state to take control over your life and everyone elses for that matter. Good analysis of the media though, I think you're right on, but as if from the totalitarian's play book its self, you take a bit of truth and spin a wonderful yarn to trap the fearful into believing your ideological crap. When are you guys in the Kremlin going to figure out that Stalin's butchers are not an alternative to freedom? There is a better way to beat elitists factions than through brainwashing and genocide. Why not try accessing a power greater than the state. Just a suggestion! I know, not in your big plans, oh well.

Hey Lu Lu, nice words to your newby, I can't believe I agreed with you I must need my head examined by those Kremlin mind control fools! Well, anyway, at times you do offer some "real" jems! Keep coming back, it works!

PS Red Z, I'd be happy to drop by Putin's place and chair a meeting or two, heard you guys have lots of alcoholics in denial, bet you couldn't wait for me to show up either!


Member: jennifer
Location: las vegas
Date: 3/22/01
Time: 3:17:26 PM

Comments

Hay my name is Jennifer I just reciently got back in the program about two months ago. My last drunk was for 7 days. After of which the first two days of sobriety I couldn't walk you see I have gotten Alcholic Periphial Nuroapathy I got the condition 5 years ago from slamming down a 6 pack of Caronas in less than 10 minutes. Basicly the condition is all over nerve damedge and causes extream pain all over. You see my nerve endings are dying. This is some of the things that you can look forward to if you continue drinking and you know I didn't even drink as half as much as some many of my alcholic friends. Right now drinking has enabled me not to get around like others my drinking has done so much damedge that i can no longer do 8hour jobs that require standing for 8 hours at a time. I'm good on my feet know only for 4 hours at a time then I'm in extream pain and limping and crying all over the place. This is a verry painfull desease and all the damedge is ereversable. But even though I kept on drinking. This is the insanity of it all. Finaly I got my self into another halfway house and got honest and reached out to get a sponcer one who worked and didn't mind being there for the first month and help me through the steps. Even though my neropathy dosen't go away I continue to stay sober my daily contact with her and going to meetings ,journaling and reading the big book. Wemen have to rember that we are subject to get 10 times worce than men physicly. This nuropathey is no joke it can even take your ability to walk away and can attack drinkers at any time. So be carful think before you drink! Call you sponcer or get to a meeting!


Member: its hot down here
Location:
Date: 3/22/01
Time: 5:23:20 PM

Comments

IF there is life after death,we are in serious

trouble....


Member: nadia b.
Location: california
Date: 3/22/01
Time: 6:39:10 PM

Comments

hey all...thank you for all of the suggestions. i don't know exactly how to STAY sober. i get sober, last about two months, and then it's like i try to make up for those two months in one night. i've always been more of a binge drinker, anyway. i used to try to convince myself that that meant that i wasn't a REAL alcoholic. but i know that i am, and so here i am, in AA, trying to stay sober. again, thank you for the suggestions and for the honesty.


Member: LUCIFER
Location: ITS HOT IN HELL
Date: 3/22/01
Time: 7:37:39 PM

Comments

YES THERE IS LIFE AFTER DEATH,THE DOORWAY TO HEAVEN IS NARROW,NOT MANY WILL MAKE IT THROUGH, BUT THE PATHWAY TO HELL IS WIDE AND VERY EASY TO GET IN,WE ALWAYS KEEP THE THERMOSTAT ON HIGH FOR OUR ENTERTAINMENT...............


Member: Tony
Location: Chi-town
Date: 3/22/01
Time: 10:39:43 PM

Comments

hi Tony alcoholic just wanted to make a suggestion to new comers don't count days all you have is today you count days and you think you should be rewarded just stay in today yesterday is gone tommorrow is not here yet so we can't do anything about either, anniversary is in 1 year but time is nothing we're all just 1 drink away for being drunk good luck to you all and God bless


Member: Tony
Location: Chi-town
Date: 3/22/01
Time: 10:39:49 PM

Comments

hi Tony alcoholic just wanted to make a suggestion to new comers don't count days all you have is today you count days and you think you should be rewarded just stay in today yesterday is gone tommorrow is not here yet so we can't do anything about either, anniversary is in 1 year but time is nothing we're all just 1 drink away for being drunk good luck to you all and God bless


Member: To Tom G in nfld
Location:
Date: 3/23/01
Time: 9:02:31 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Pam, an alcoholic, (((Tom G))) in nfld - I do not have the experience of "using" while still coming to meetings as if staying sober, but I do know what its like to come back and have to pick up a white chip and start all over again after having had years of sobriety & living the steps in this fellowship. The hard thing about it is the part that goes on in own head: fear, feeling humiliated, worry what everyone else will think, etc. The quality of sobriety & growth that results from "just do it" inspite of all that disease talking in the head is undescribable. There have been 2 different men here that went thru the same. About 3 years ago when it was the 10th anniversary for one of them, he asked for a white chip and shared that he'd been smoking pot for some time at that point. We cried with him and he is one of the most respected & admired in my eyes, because of that simple honesty. Very recently, a man with 16 years picked up a white chip because he had begun taking more than prescibed of a prescription med he was on, and then continued taking them when nolonger needed. We love this man dearly, and still love him just as always. We know he's an alcoholic/addict just like the rest of us and admire/respect his honesty, and thank him for the example of what to do if we got into that relapse situation. "Today" is all we have. What I do to stay clean, sober, happy, joyous & FREE today is what counts. Love you. my prayers are with. Pam


Member: Will
Location: Florida
Date: 3/23/01
Time: 11:43:22 AM

Comments

Joe What is the Big Book ? or is it any book? I have to do something to occupy my time and get with some people that are positive . It is hard at times but I think I can do it.


Member: Will D
Location: Florida
Date: 3/23/01
Time: 11:43:28 AM

Comments

Joe What is the Big Book ? or is it any book? I have to do something to occupy my time and get with some people that are positive . It is hard at times but I think I can do it.


Member: Will D
Location: Florida
Date: 3/23/01
Time: 11:43:35 AM

Comments

Joe What is the Big Book ? or is it any book? I have to do something to occupy my time and get with some people that are positive . It is hard at times but I think I can do it.


Member: joe
Location:
Date: 3/23/01
Time: 12:34:22 PM

Comments

its like a hustler magazine.......


Member: Stephanie
Location: Chicago
Date: 3/23/01
Time: 3:48:34 PM

Comments

Dan in Belleville, try calling (314) 647-3677 - it's the AA number in St Louis. They might be able to hook you up with a meeting close by.


Member: David R.
Location: Southern Va.
Date: 3/23/01
Time: 7:37:37 PM

Comments

To Will from Florida:

The Big Book is the "Bible" of A.A.. It was written by the founders of A.A., initially written in 1939, with numerous copyrights and re-publishings since that time. But the basis is still the same. It is written to describe others experiences, the nature of the disease, describes the 12 steps to recovery, and addresses life and relations with others while in recovery. It is a must, if you are sincere in wanting to get a handle on this. I suggest you attend a local meeting. There is a cost, but sometimes, and some places will provide you with one free of charge. But, like an old sponsor told me once, "the big book costs about $7.00, you'd spend that in a twelve pack tonight wouldn't you." I encourage you to get to a meeting, listen, get a book, start reading, so the next meeting you go to, you can really see what the sincere folks are talking about. Good luck to you. I myself have only been sober for 33 days this time. I have been active in A.A. before and it works if you let it, and follow the steps. Us in recovery need each other working toward the same goal. If you want to E-Mail.

e-mAIL: groberts@kimbanet.com


Member: Rob H.
Location:
Date: 3/24/01
Time: 7:49:01 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm a first time participant. I've been sober for quite a while, but lately have been off the AA beam. I work the 8pm to 4:30 am shift and have been unable to attend my weekly meetings. When I do go, I feel like I don't belong. I've also lost faith in God. In fact, I'm angry I'm in this position and am at my wits end. I'm writing this after being up all nite and thinking drinking thoughts. I haven't slept but 4 hours in several days and don't know where to turn. Is there anyone out there who can help? Thanks Rob H.


Member: jennifer j.
Location: rock hill,sc
Date: 3/24/01
Time: 10:42:44 AM

Comments

Dear Rob H., Good-Luck on staying sober. The last time I lost my sanity; a drink followed close behind. I think it's odd that there are no morning or noon meetings where you live. But, that is the case for many small towns. When I worked 3rd shift I made it a point to call at least I person in the program a day. That may sound extreme, but so was my drinking. I had to remember that it was my responsibility to do whatever was required for daily sobriety and peace of mind. My sobriety date is July 13. The 24 Hours A Day book has some great insight about the "the beam" on that date. I encourage you to read and do likewise.


Member: Patriciag
Location: Tucson
Date: 3/24/01
Time: 12:33:17 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Pat alcoholic, from Tucson. I stay sober by asking my Higher Power for the ability to do so. Mother Teresa said "If God wants me to do something he gives me the means." Thankfully my prayers continue to be answered and the means to stay sober, serene and most of all sane are given to me. I also reflect on the insanity of my drinking before I got sober. Reinforces my understanding of my powerlessness. I also get up every morning say the 3rd Step prayer, the 7th Step prayer, and the 11th Step prayer. I meditate, do yoga, and hit a face to face meeting as well look at this site. I also try to contact one or two AA members by phone. I also talk to my sponsor(s). The one thing right now I must get back to because I have recently relocated is SERVICE - I am going to try to start speaking at Cottonwood and do some Intergroup work as well as meeting work like coffee or chips or something. I am just grateful to be sober and I do what is necessary to arrest this disease. That physical nerve ailment that was mentioned and/or death is a reality if I don't follow my program. So I just keeping practicing the program not my disease anymore. Progress not perfection is my goal each day and if all I accopmlish is another 24hours of sobriety I am grateful and satisfied. I also try to read some AA approved literature each day and pray at night for God to continue to grant me sobriety, sanity and serenity. I put my life in his hands and ask that his will be done in all my affairs. And then I just thank him and thank him. That's all I have. Thanks for letting me share.

I am looking for some e-mail buddies. If anyone wants to communicate with me my email is www.patriciageusic@aol.com. All I ask is that anyone writing be sincere and respect the no profanity rule.


Member: JennyM
Location: London(UK)
Date: 3/24/01
Time: 12:47:58 PM

Comments

Hi to every one out there. My name is Jenny and I'm a grateful recovering alcoholic. I used to find GETTING sober was quite easy, however, STAYING sober - now that was another matter. In the end I had to just learn to shut up and listen to other people, people in AA who had been around a while longer than me. I used to think that I had all the answers, and that anyway I only drank for 'fun'. Some 'fun' game that was - a game that always wound up in lost jobs, hospitals, crashed cars and suicide attempts that left me not knowing what to do or who to turn to. When I first came to AA I used to silently smirk at those who said they relied on a Higher Power, and think I was too good to pray (the irony!). I had to learn that it was my stinking thinking that got me falling off my barstool and into all the inevitable trouble that abuse of alcohol brings. So now it's the same story for me as for any alcoholic who is sincere about getting and STAYING well. Go to meetings, pray, read from the Big Book, share honestly (either at a metting or on a one to one basis) and, most importantly NOT take that first drink. They told me it was the first drink that does the damage, and I have found this to be the truth. Finally, I need to remember that you are here to help me just as I am here to help you. Thanks to all who shared!


Member: Tony
Location: Chi-town
Date: 3/24/01
Time: 2:06:37 PM

Comments

HI i'm Tony alcoholic Rob H. your sobriety is to important i would SUGGEST a morning meeting i think you should be more honest w/ your self and ask if you're really making enough effort to make a meeting .when i go to a meeting i look for positives not excuses why i don't belong ,i think you are as sick as i am and i am my worse enemy i think their is something else going on that you're not really seeing or refuse to see talk to your sponsor God has not abandoned you you've abandoned him he gave you this site to go to. keep the faith God loves you !! and he has a plan for you !!! but just in case you do go back out i want to wish you luck, because you will need it, because whatever it was that brought you here is just waiting for you remember you have a disease that can be terminal,it's always knocking at your door so you go ahead and answer it if you want to return to the misery or is that your disease telling you it wasn't that bad !!!Boy cut the shit either you live or you die i choose to live i hope you do to God bless and keep coming back !!!!


Member: Leslie E.
Location: Oakland
Date: 3/24/01
Time: 3:38:39 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Leslie and I'm an alcoholic. This is my first time here -- haven't been to a meeting, but hopefully will make it to one tonight at 5:30. I just called and was hoping there would be one earlier. I'm afraid I won't make it until then and will just bag the meeting. I've actually been to AA meetings twice in my life. Once about 4 years ago, and for 2 days about 9 years ago. And here I am....jeez. I keep trying to drink like normal people, but know that I can't. I used to be able to do other things when I was drinking, but now when I pour that glass of wine, I just want to sit on the couch and smoke and watch TV or chat on the phone. I used to read a lot, paint, write. I don't even go out the movies anymore because by the time showtime rolls around, I'm already too comfortable on the couch. I'm about to turn 36, and I can't believe what a failure I turned out to be. I was always smart and funny and talented, and everyone thought that I'd "go places". I pretend to everyone that I'm doing just as I please and I'm happy, but the truth is I feel totally lost and feel such profound contempt for myself. I usually make fun of my alcoholic propensities -- it makes me seem clever while I go ahead and knock back 5 times as many cocktails as everyone else. I sense that there is some intelligent design behind our universe, but I have a hard time with the pure, nice old man -- God -- who actually notices and loves each and every one of us. I DO know that I am powerless over alcohol. Anyways, I'm sorry for blabbing so long......I'll just keep reading your comments every day. I'm glad I found this site. Take care, all.


Member: Joe H
Location: PA
Date: 3/24/01
Time: 5:08:38 PM

Comments

Leslie E

You can believe what You want, but there is one thing that always makes me shake my head. People either blame God for their problems or refuse to believe He exists. Why? Because they took the gift of "free will" and turned it into a rotten unhappy existence! I have an alcohol problem (I can't drink)I was also the one who got me to this point. I know that since 7/11/99 My existence has done nothing but improve due to my ralationship with God. That's all I have to say. I am glad You are here!

I will pray for You.


Member: Eileen H.
Location: New York
Date: 3/24/01
Time: 5:20:19 PM

Comments

Welcome to all of you who posted your were new or just coming back. I'm an alcoholic . . . names' Eileen. A suggestion to you all is find a face to face meeting . . . this computer stuff is nice . . . but will NOT keep you from that first drink. Do what that young lady posted . . . join a home group, get a commitment, make 90 meetings in 90 days. In that time . . . you'll have found someone you can ask to be your sponsor and this will give you the foundation you need to forge forward.

Having "drink thoughts"? Yes. They are common. Don't think you're crazy. But if you had gone to a face-to-face meeting you would have heard that already and known you are just "normal"!! :)

Many meetings / many chances. Few meetings / few chances. No Meetings / NO CHANCE

What I've done to stay sober today is call my sponsor, have breakfast with another alcoholic and plan which meeting I'll make this evening.

AA works . . . it's the people IN it that may not work it the way Bill & Bob taught us how. "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has THOROUGHLY followed our path".

Thanks for letting me share. Just remember that the people in AA are recovering from the same thing that's bringing YOU into an meeting!!! Normal to be afraid to go to a meeting but keep in mind . . . there is no one more important at an AA meeting than the person who is there for the first time. Introduce yourself if they ask if anyone is here for the first time. You'll meet a lot of people, most likely, after the meeting if you just stick around for a few minutes. Give it a try. The life you save will be your own.


Member: PatriciaG
Location: Tucson-----------------------------
Date: 3/24/01
Time: 5:36:46 PM

Comments

I have a question to put out there - does anyone have an opinion on dealcoholized wine? Does it break one's sobriety if to be comfortable in a social situation someone has purchased it for you because they know you don't drink and want you to feel at ease?***


Member: kris g
Location: oakland ca
Date: 3/24/01
Time: 7:07:04 PM

Comments

Being convinced I am at step one....with 20 years of sobriety....I have forgotten where I came from and today I am sober by the grace of God, but my life is unmanagable. I try to practice the principles in all of my affairs, but if you don't stay active in the program, it is easy to get back into living inside of your head. I need to get active in the program again, as it is not just about not drinking. It is about being free to be all that you can be. Alot of people may hear my story and say "but I am not that bad, and others have said it is an inspiration when they understand from where I started and where I sank to and where I am now....but none of the material accomplishments mean anything if you don't continue to clear away the wreckage.....even with 20 years. SO GO TO A MEETING, WORK THE STEPS AND ASK GOD TO REMOVE THE BONDAGE OF SELF.....That is what I need to do, and that is what I am going to do. I am going to find one today.


Member: connie
Location: shreveport la.
Date: 3/24/01
Time: 7:56:35 PM

Comments

my name is connie and i am a alcoholic but god has blessed me with a sobriety date of april 13 oo and i truly thank him for that my sobriety has come to a stand still i am feeling real deep resentments against the people in aa i wish someone would give me some feedback on what course to take i do not have a sponsor i am hoping to find a sponsor online that will help me please somebody respond i do not wish to go back to the life of drugs and alcohol but i feel myself getting real shaky.


Member: Mike McC
Location: So. Cal
Date: 3/24/01
Time: 8:03:43 PM

Comments

Hello my name is Mike And I'm an Alcoholic....this business of one alocholic talking with another is very improtant for our survival....if we are to live long or happy in this world were going to have to get honest....but lets not get to rightous or hide behind what we think is right or hiding behind the Big Book so we cant let people in....this can be very dangerous....Im am going to be the person that I believe God wants me to be....GOD BLESS YOU AND YOURS :.) Mike McC


Member: Patriciag
Location: Tucson
Date: 3/24/01
Time: 8:20:42 PM

Comments

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Hi I'm Pat, alcoholic from Tucson. Connie go back to the 1-2-3 waltz which is do Step 1, 2, and 3 everyday. In the morning do the 3rd Step prayer on page 64 of the Big Book and the 7th Step prayer on page 86 of the Big Book. Try reading "upon awakening ... on pages 84-87". Turn over your resentments to God and another AA person - you are powerless not just over alcohol but people as well. If you need someone to email you can contact me at Patriciageusic@aol.com. I can be a temporary sponsor if you like. We all get a little squirrely now and then - turn it all over to God and you will get through it one day at a time. Also try to get to a traditional meeting at least a couple times a week and if you get real squirrely go back to 90 meetings in 90 days. Hope this helps.-


Member: Paul
Location: is apalled
Date: 3/24/01
Time: 9:03:51 PM

Comments

HI Paul alcoholic, Patricia here is my opinion on your pretend wine,i do not need to pretend i drink i do not need someone to help me pretend i drink. The fact is i'm an alcoholic but i am a comfortable one i do not drink today fake or otherwise.that wine may contain a very small amount of alcohol non-alcoholic beer contains about a 1/2 percent to much alcohol!!! Why would i not feel at ease i am comfortable with me today !!!That fake wine is a tease that could help you slip , i hope you are working w/someone (sponsor) accept me for who i am Paul alcoholic and a better person for it dealcoholized wine give me a break i don't think you're sober and it's not because of the dealcoholized wine call your sponsor !!!


Member: Marty G,
Location: Manitowoc , Wisconsin
Date: 3/24/01
Time: 10:18:21 PM

Comments

Hi all Marty G. here & I am an alcoholic,sober today by the grace of my higher power& A.A. I continue to keep my sobriety today by: "Don't drink, go to meetings, & read the "Big Book. These 9 words contain a lot of meaning; ie: I can not drink by going to meetings & reading my big book & following the suggestions in it. I pray to my higher power every day, &ask for guidance for the day. Know H.P. know peace---No H.P. no peace.Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Leslie E
Location: Oakland, CA
Date: 3/24/01
Time: 10:32:37 PM

Comments

Joe H - You are exactly the reason why I have been so reticent to join AA. I can truly appreciate your wonderful relationship with God. My best friend, Paula, is a Christian minister. She knows that I have not "accepted Jesus as my savior", but she understands that I have an ambivalent relationship with God that is between me and God. She has never countered my ambivalent feelings with "He exists and I shake my head at you for not seeing that." I resent deeply your backhanded way of welcoming me into the AA fold. You signed off by saying "glad to have you!" And yet you greet me by telling me you shake your head at people like me. I have spent a lot of time reading through "The Book", and it seemed to be pretty clear that AA welcomes even those who are, at the extreme, Aethiests, those in the middle, Agnostic, and people such as yourself who "know" the existence of God. Good for you. I went to my AA meeting today, in spite of your backhanded welcome. But your smug, self-satisfied knowledge of HIM, is exactly the sort of thing that chases people like me away from getting help. I KNOW that I have the gift of free will, and that I have abused it. I do not blame God, and nothing in my first introduction to this website indicated that I did so. I don't mind people blatantly pointing their finger at me and telling me that I'm a f***up or that I'm a drunk or that I am responsible for causing whatever unhappiness I have in my life. I am going to stick with AA, but I must say, I do not want any input from you. From what I know, this forum is not supposed to be a theological debate. Your self-righteous attitude truly will not help me, nor anybody else. Your "shaking your head" is simply a way of shaming me. Like I need any more of that. I am so happy for you that there is no ambiguity in your knowledge of exactly who God is. My ambiguity is personal and complex and spiritual and between me and whatever entity I seem to intuit, but cannot put my finger on. If and when, my relationship with God becomes more concrete, it will not be because of self-righteous people such as yourself shaking your heads at poor me. I had a good meeting tonight, by the way. I am happy I went, and I went, actually, in spite of your comments. To everyone else....I have really gotten a lot from your messages. They were supportive and real. I apologize for this point of contention I am making. Please, I do not want to hear from anyone saying things like "oh, you're so angry -- that's the sign of an alcoholic." This can be true at times. Believe me, I know how things can get blown out of proportion when you're drinking. But I just want to clarify that annoyance or anger is not the exclusive domain of an alcoholic. I am not angry at Joe, but I am annoyed and needed to speak up. I hope I have not alienated myself by saying what was on my mind. Peace, Leslie


Member: lil' ducky
Location: big pond
Date: 3/24/01
Time: 11:00:16 PM

Comments

While I agree with Paul's insight about the non-alcoholic beverages, I don't think there's any reason to get rude when somebody asks a question. He's right about most of these drinks having a minute alcohol content, and I think they could set up that craving again. I also think that the cure for social dis-ease is often a sponsor and working the steps and prayer. Connie--GET A SPONSOR GIRL! If you have been going to meetings this past year, surely you have heard this again and again. Trust me, honey-I stayed sober without a sponsor for over a year. Having a sponsor who can look you in the eye is the easier,softer way. I would not recommend to anyone doing what I did, and now you're finding out why. We all have to learn the way we learn...for some of us it's banging our heads against the wall. Once I finally got a sponsor, it changed the entire tone of my sobriety. I've been sober over a decade in Alcoholics Anonymous now. Please,do yourself a favor, get to a meeting and ask some woman who has some sober time to be your sponsor. I have seen people come and go in AA over the years like there's a revolving door here. Some of them make it back, some of them die, and some of them live in misery for a long time. But it may not be necessary for you to go back out. I pray it isn't. Read the BB, go to meetings and get a sponsor so you can work those damned steps LOL that's what saves lives here. Please feel free to email me too at daffygal2001@yahoo.com I've always got time for another alcoholic, and I always need to remember how awful that first year was so maybe I'll never have to do THAT again. :)