Member: Sarah N
Location:
Date: 15 Mar 1998
Time: 03:04:49
hello everyone, my name is sarah an i am an alcoholic. i'd like to talk about responsibility as a topic for discussion. I think Bill W. said somewhere (and someone please correct me if i am misquoting) that if he could sum up the program in a few words, it would be two: responsibility and humility. As a sober member of alcoholics anonymous, i feel a responsibility to carry the message in any way i can. this "way" can come about in many different forms, like making coffee, chairing a meeting, being a treasurer, gsr, or intergroup rep. My behavior in meetings will speak to my level of responsibility. Am i disruptive during a meeting? am i talking or laughing when someone is sharing? or when our literature is being read? do i make an effort to look for the person who looks new to the meeting, and introduce myself? After meetings, do i clean up? do i only speak to the people i know, instead of taking a risk and talking with new people? and then of course, do i practice these principles in alll my affairs? these are all questions that answer no to at one time or another. but because i am sober today, i can, at the very least, strive to make the answers to these questions yes. Often what holds me back is fear. when i turn that fear over, and do whatever it is i am supposed to do in spite of that fear, i receive the gift. I thank god for AA and all the people in it who have taught me how to be a woman of dignity and honor. Thanks for leeting me share.
Member: Art N.
Location: Colorado
Date: 15 Mar 1998
Time: 03:58:22
My name is Art and I am an alcoholic. What I can recall of my drinking days, I was NOT responcible at all for anything. The only thing that I made sure of was that I did get to work not matter what shape I was in because this paid for my alcohol. Anything else that required any type of responcibility was completely lost on me. When I came to AA, the things that were shared by the leader were the things that I was taught so that I could have a beginning of an understanding of committment and responciblity. As I stayed sober, my sponsor required me to JOIN an AA group and become active. "This is an action program" he would say. I was very surprised when I was asked to be on a committee for my home group. Later when I was asked to be the Secretary/Treasurer (this was a small group) I didn't know what to say. My sponsor said that I had no right to turn down a request from AA. And still later when asked to be GSR, (knowing what my sponsor would say) I accepted not knowing what to do just as before with the other offices. I learned though. In the meantime, a lot of coffee was made and meeting rooms were opened and I stayed sober. Not only that but I was changing like I was told that I would need to. I learned something of organization and checkbooks as the Sec/Tres. and about committment as the GSR. Also a lot about the kind of Love that we find only in AA. Unconditional Love. Service work and 12th Tradition work can provide stability to my life like nothing else, because they include God! Only by God's grace have I been allowed to stay sober in AA and (to this point, Thank God) have not found it necessary to take a drink since Jan. 13, 1985. Thanks for the topic, Sarah. Art N.
Member: teri f.
Location: marion, ohi
Date: 15 Mar 1998
Time: 08:06:33
i'm an alcoholic and my name is teri. this is a great topic sarah. i too lived a very irresponsible life as a drunk. when i first became a member of this wonderful fellowship, i was full of fear, self-loathing, self-pity, and definitely "unique". i was absolutely appalled when it was suggested to me to get active by showing up early, make coffee, help clean up after meetings, etc. after all, i had graced you all with my wonderful presence and was expecting to be "fixed" immediately!! that was your responsibility to me!! i didn't come t aa to learn housekeeping skills. that sort of thing was way below my elevated station in life.
fortunately, i had a wise and wonderful sponsor who said in a kind and loving way, "get off your high horse and do it".
well, needless to say, i wasn't happy about it and couldn't fathom how washing out ashtrays could "cure" my drinking problem. but you know, a funny thing happened. as soon as i started taking on those first half-hearted attempts, i started feeling different. i started getting out of myself and for the very first time in my life started feeling like a "part of" something.
today i am grateful and feel so blessed when i am asked to do anything for aa. i understand the more i give, the more is given to me. i understand that being a member of alcoholics anonymous is a priviledge and my sobriety is a gift from god. my gift to god is staying sober and living an amended life and my responsibility to aa is to carry the message. being involved, on a daily basis, keeps me sober one day at a time. i owe this fellowship my life.
thanks for letting me share. have a wonderful and sober 24 hrs.!!
Member: STEVE C
Location: RIDGE,NY
Date: 15 Mar 1998
Time: 12:15:18
I'M STEVE AND I'M AN ALCOHOLIC. I'M RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT I DO WITH THE TOOLS I AM BEING GIVEN AND THE SUGGESTIONS I RECEIVE CONCERNING MAKING MEETINGS,USING SPONSOR,DOING THE READING,ETC. I HAVE A HARD TIME DOING THE RESPONSIBLE,SOBER THING WITH STUFF THAT IS HURTING ME-I FIND IT NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE TO LET IT OUT AND SHARE IT WITH ANOTHER,NO MATTER WHOM. I SUPPOSE,HOWEVER,THAT I JUST DID A LITTLE BIT OF WHAT I SAID I HAVE TROUBLE WITH SO THANKS FOR THE MEETING. I'LL BE BACK.
Member: Jackie Jepson
Location: Houston
Date: 15 Mar 1998
Time: 12:43:24
Hi everyone. I'm Jackie and I've been a recovering alcoholic since 6-1-92 ... before that I was just a drunk.
Responsibility ... I am of the opinion that those of us who are sober today have been blessed with a true miracle. With that gift comes the great responsibility of being the example of God's grace. I know that for many, confidentiality is protected for fear of the "wrong" people (at work, church, etc.) knowing we were once drunks.
I feel quite the opposite. In sobriety I have the responsibility to tell others where I have been and where/how I am here today. You never know when the one you are talking to is struggling alone with their own alcoholism. There are far more suffering outside of the AA meetings that need to know that there is hope and recovery. The fact that even one of us has found new life and joy is proof that the miracle can and does happen ... even to the most hopeless of us. I have been blessed with Grace and feel it is my responsibility to reach out beyond the meeting rooms.
Thank you for letting me share.
Jackie
Member: Jhon A
Location: Chicago
Date: 15 Mar 1998
Time: 13:13:35
Hello , I seen an article on the Chicago Sun Times, it is about you're site, Im glad I found you , will be coming in from time to time to see what this is all about, hope you can help me , and others like me, thank you , bye.
Member: Mike O
Location: Pontiac, Michigan
Date: 15 Mar 1998
Time: 14:10:44
Responsibility...after over 12 years I am more responsible than I ever have been.. It did not come easy..took lots of meetings and learning to care about myself. Being responsible is kinda neat to me today..I am not real good at it..but I am on the right track..Thanks to all of you..miracles do happen
Member: Erv W.
Location: Adams Wi..
Date: 15 Mar 1998
Time: 16:45:45
Good afternoon, my name is Erv and Im a alcoholic.. Great meeting Sarah.. Responsibility for this alki means, anytime, anywhere, anyone reaches out for help.. I want the hand of AA to be there, and for that I am responsible.. I take this very seriously !! When I came to the program, their was my sponsor waiting there for me.. That saved my life.. The least I can do is be there for the next person.. Have a great week everyone and I see you again.. Your friend in sobriety Erv W..
Member: Russ W.
Location: Powell, WY
Date: 15 Mar 1998
Time: 17:33:06
I am Russ and I am an alcoholic/addict. I did my second fifth step yesterday and the fourth step was a lot different from the first. I did not have people as resentments neccassarily (sp), I had principles and behaviors. The one on the top of my list is responsibility. What a coincidense!! I resent responsibility at times. It so much work. When I was drinking I definitely was not responsible. I held a job most of the time but I had to in order to support my drink and drug habit. Although I still became homeless because my checks went to the local bars and dealers. To this day I am still irresponsible with my money. However I am getting better. The above comment that Erv wrote I resent sometimes. The "I am responsible" thing that AA says, I have difficulty with. My wife also takes this seriously but in my head I tend to justify the saying by thinking if I did everthing AA asks I would be being dishonest in a number of ways. Anyway thank you for reading and letting me share.
Member: Larry K
Location: Hopkinsville,Ky
Date: 15 Mar 1998
Time: 18:56:53
Hi Everyone/I'm Larry & I have alcoholism. My responsibility 1st is to stay sober so that I may help other alcholics, which in turn helps me stay sober. Helping to see that the Message of AA is there anytime anyone anywhere reaches out. Love In Sobriety Larry
Member: Dave A
Location: SLC, Utah
Date: 15 Mar 1998
Time: 21:53:32
Hi, I am Dave and am an alcoholic. Responsibility is scaring me the last couple of days. I am confused... Should I be responsible to myself and get sober even though I feel that I am letting my household responsibilities go? I need balance and it is hard to come by lately. My soberity seems to be the most important thing, but my wife does not understand what I am going through. When I try to tell her I screw it up and say the wrong things. Well I am not going to pick up TODAY! I forgot that 2 weeks ago after 42 days. Not again!!!!! love ya all... Dave
Member: Diane F.
Location: Sunnyvale, Ca.
Date: 15 Mar 1998
Time: 22:14:43
Hi I'm Diane and I'm an alcoholic. AA has brought me a long way and a new life. I do my meetings as many times a week as I can. I just did my 7th step today starting on my 8th step. I have two years in the program as of Febuary 1st. I started on Feb. 1st. 1996. Before AA I was drinking a lot and not realizing what it was doing to my family and people around me. I ignored all the signs and warnings from everyone. It was my husband who helped me to find my way to AA and it was fromthe meetings of AA that Iwas able to get my help to stay sober this long.
Member: Sanders W.
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 15 Mar 1998
Time: 23:16:15
Hello everyone, I am very definitally a real alcoholic and my name is Sanders. This is a good meeting Sarah but come to think of it, I don't ever remember going to a meeting expecting a good meeting when I did not find a good meeting. By the same token I never remember going to a meeting expecting a bad meeting and not finding a bad meeting. I think we get what we are looking for. I hope and pray that all of us are looking for ways to stay sober. I am still very grateful tonight that 22 year ago when I finally was able to surender and throw in the towel and come into AA wanting to get and stay sober and not just stop the problems, that you people were there for me. My sponser told me the only way to keep what you have is to give it away and this is what I have been trying to do. I am having to alter, a little bit, in how I give it away now because just recently I lost nearly all my hearing and hear very little of what is said at meetings. I used to chair meetings and really miss doing so now because I learned that the chair person gets more out of the meeting than anyone else. Maybe it is because he has to listen to everyone, even if he may not especially like a particular person. I really miss chairing meetings. I find myself being drawn more to cyber AA each day because you don't have to be able to hear to participate. I am new to the computer so just bare with me and maybe neither of us will have to drink over it. I love this program and my sobriety and will do anything I have to in order to guards it. I know today that the only thing that can make me take a drink is if I want to. Thanks again Sarah for a super good meeting. Sanders W
Member: Danielle
Location: Canada
Date: 15 Mar 1998
Time: 23:21:37
Hi everyone. I'm Danielle; an alcoholic. I've "spoken" here before. This is the closest I've come to a meeting. I'm a writer. I'd like to go to a real face to face meeting, but I know I'd be horrible there. There's a place, between my brain and my mouth, where all my thoughts get fucked up, and I end up sounding so insincere. So here i am. Again. And though responsiblily is something I try to attain, it is always the furthest from my reach.
Member: mark d
Location:
Date: 15 Mar 1998
Time: 23:29:09
Responsible?.....yea sure....mark here alcoholic.....what's the saying?..... to thine own self be true......without recovery, it all goes away for me.....it all just fades to black.....I trade every last piece of my humanity for one more drink......I don't "lose things" like familly, money, property, and prestige.....I trade them away....and soon enuf there is nothing left to trade.....so today I stayed powerless....I prayed to the HP of my understanding for the abillity to live just one more day without a drink.....this is my responsibility....to do whatever it takes to get thru just one more day.....had a buddy once who walked up the steps to the local cop shop and showed a cop his crack pipe and a rock, told the cop he needed help, cop took the stuff away and wrote him a ticket.....buddy hit the cop, went to jail and didn't use that day or the next and somehow was admitted into a recovery home upon his release where he learned about taking the steps....Extreme? perhaps, but very effective....I spent almost 19 months in a jail program and that same recovery home. Was it irresponsible of me to set ALL other matters aside and concentrate my entire being on recovery? It has been over 5 years since I have had a drink....my children call from out of state to talk to me, they come visit when they can, my ex-wife allows me to stay in the extra bedroom when I go to visit them....I actually pay child-support rather than the guy behind the bar, or the dude at the liquor store...not once in this new-found freedom from the obsession to drink has the phone, or the lights, or the water been shut off. Not once have I awoken (read came to) to wonder where I left my car or if I had hurt anyone......so the moral of the story is this, if ya wanna get sober, hit a cop.....if ya wanna stay that way..take the steps...
powerless mark............acceptance is the answer, willingness the key
Member: Didda J.
Location: England
Date: 16 Mar 1998
Time: 00:35:20
Hi, I am Didda a alcaholic. While reading (listening to) you all, my mind started to wander over these five and a half years that I have been granted with in the AA fellowship. And I remember having been much more giving and much more humble in the begining. So, yes I needed this meeting, and thank you Sarah for helping me. All the best ... Didda
Member: Juanita M
Location: Spok. WA
Date: 16 Mar 1998
Time: 01:19:54
I am glad to have found this meeting on the web. I needed to be here..My responsibility to myself and my own recovery has been neglected. I am very good it seems at reaching out to others, that I forget that my main responsibility is taking care of my own backyard...and cleaning my own house. as a matter of fact I haven't been to a meeting in months and I like using the exuse that I have to much homework every night...well dah if I would get more responsible and organize my studying and blah blah blah...I'd probably find time to hit a meeting! Gee imagine that! I heard good stuff here tonight. I'll be here more often...and it's all your fault!...Good topic. Thanks Juanita M
Member: jrr
Location: harmony by the lake
Date: 16 Mar 1998
Time: 01:49:40
Sanders..thanks It is a good reminder that it is very good to listen...often this important element of communication gets lost in EGO. I am responsible to serve and do His Will...if I am busy yakkin up a storm , how the hell can I HEAR what that is...? prayer and meditation work for this garden variety alkie...peace jrr
Member: Joni R
Location: Altoona, Pa.
Date: 16 Mar 1998
Time: 02:02:31
Hi my name is Joni and I am cross addicted. Taking responsibility for my own actions has been an uphill climb. First I had to admit to and accept the fact that I actually did these things. For me it was very slow. I had to accept that I had inflicted a great deal of pain on my family including my children. It has taken nearly ten years to say out loud that I lost custody of my youngest child because of my behavior. My ex filed papers, but failed to inform me of the hearing date. This true, only I always left out the part that it was my behavor that forced my ex into making this decision. I felt so good the day I said this out loud. I cried and it was a cleansing experience, The next step I finally took was to make amends with my ex after 9 years. We always communicated through our son, I think I was too embarrassed to face him even on the phone. I am from Tenn. and I moved to Pa. eleven years ago. There was a good distance between us so this way of communication was efficient. Last summer when I made the trip home to pick up my son, I decided that this year was the year for me to free myself, and that is what it was. I was able to look at my ex and take responsibility for my behaviors that ultimately caused our divorce. Boy was I scared. I cried before I could open my mouth. When I finally was able to speak and tell him, he held me while I cried and reassured me that he also had a part in it. Aside from admittimg I had problem with drugs and alcohol this was the hardest thing I have ever done. I was able make take this step because of all the support I have from my husband and people like you telling me that I am somebody. I work with adolescents who are chemically addicted and I make it a top priority teach them how to accept who they are and to change behaviors. One must believe that we can not change our past we ccan only make our lives better. This comes from acceptance and taking personal responsibility. I have gone on long enough. Thank you for listening, and being there for me. God bless you and help you carry the message.
Member: Dave C.
Location: Texas
Date: 16 Mar 1998
Time: 02:57:54
Hi, I'm Dave, and I am an alcoholic. Actually I like how it was stated earlier: "I have alcoholism". That somehow seems more clinical and easier to accept. I have been sober since 1989, and in that time I have held a myriad service postions & taken and attended countless 12th step calls (outside of the 12th step in the meeting). I am very grateful to have had those opportunities, and will continue to embrace service work, and so, in my humble way help to perpetuate this program for those who are still suffering (including those who have been sober for lots of days...). Let me tell you about my sponsor, though. Here is a man who never quits. The guy has 20 years under his belt, and still gets to several meetings a week, many of which he chairs; and we attend a BIG group. He is also a licenced electrical & heating/refridgeration contractor. He does SO MUCH work on the climate control, electrical, plumbing, carpentry at our group; never with any thought of getting recognition. Here is a man that knows the value of humility, and that it is wrought through responsibility. He is, of course, human - but one can only strive to have the generousity and spirituality this man has.
We are supposed to share our experience, strenght & hope with each other; well, there's some from both of us..
Thanks for letting me share. I am glad to be here & glad to be sober.
In love & service..
Member: Maxime E
Location: Mauritius
Date: 16 Mar 1998
Time: 03:25:49
Dear all, I have just started my recovery programme and am not in a position to join an AA group in my country; it is therefore my intention to use the internet as a substitiute for assisiting me in my recovery; Best regards to all
Maxime
Member: Glen H
Location: Denton, tX
Date: 16 Mar 1998
Time: 07:35:21
In the book somewhere it says to ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do to be of help to others. I think that's what I'm responsible for today. Besides, I can't ever remember those long prayers anyway.
Member: J.L.
Location: Massachusetts
Date: 16 Mar 1998
Time: 08:26:35
Good Morning!
My name is Jay and I am an alcoholic!
Feeling pretty good today. The changes to the site threw me a curve (as an alcoholic I do not deal with change well), but I maust say I like it. I would like to thank the techs for the wonderful work they do.
Responsibility! My primary responsibility is to stay sober. I can't give away what I don't have. If I continue to stay sober through the grace of God and the fellowship of Alcholics Anonymous, my next responsibility is to bring it home. I believe that if I'm not bringing it home, I don't have it. It wasn't always this way for me, and I am not suggesting that the new comer run home and try to repair all the damage quickly. It took a long time for me to establish my "sober" self, this process continues today and I try to do the best I can ODAAT.
Having gotten sober, through the grace of God, ODAAT; it becomes my responsibility to share what was so freely given me. This "sharing" can be as simple as setting up or cleaning up the hall, or speaking at an open meeting, making or returning a phone call to a fellow suffer, or sharing via the Web.
Thanks for letting me share today, I needed it.
Hang in There! J.L.
Member: Mike T.
Location: Pierre, SD
Date: 16 Mar 1998
Time: 09:30:26
mike, alcoholic here. Responsibility is a very important tool that I have really regarded as my key to SOBRIETY. I have been going through a lot of changes and the pressure is very pressing. I found myself in a motel room with my family this weekend and the desire to drink filled me with such fear and panic. I immediately got on the phone and called a local AA club. The meeting had already been over with and the was one guy their that answered the phone and I was able to come out of stinking thinking before I knew that I was about to fall over the edge. With his help and my wifes caring words of encouragement I woke up the next morning feeling great. I attended a AA meeting last night and shared this with the group and my sponsor and friends. Today I am still bewildered by the desire that befalled me this weekend. Still SOBER. Thanks everyone.
Member: Kelley C
Location: Chicago
Date: 16 Mar 1998
Time: 11:03:11
Hi. I'm Kelley C, recovering alcoholic/addict. I'm glad to be here and reading (listening to) your comments. Responsiblity, for me, has expanded beyond the concept of objective activities the longer I've been blessed with sobriety. I think, for me anyway, that sobriety carries with it a sense of social responsibility that requires thinking through the consequences of my actions (beyond how they will impact me). I need to remember that my actions do impact others (no, I cannot make another feel or think a certain way, but I can, and have, act in a way that increases the probability that another will be hurt). The real pain of that type of behavior is that I can cover it with "good intentions" or "grand motives" that are nothing more than pipe illusions. The truth is, I have acted, IN SOBRIETY, in ways that hurt another and tried to tell others that it was a road of virtue, or for another's good, or some other crappy illusion. In sobriety, I have had this turned around on me, as well, by other recovering alcoholics who have excluded me (cuz I'm direct) under the guise of "I wouldn't be comfortable attending" when it had nothing to do with my comfort level and everything to do with theirs. The point is, responsibility means being honest about action and not claiming virtue that isn't mine to claim (or best yet, excusing my behavior because AA is, after all, a selfish program). I find, the more honest I am, the more likely I am to claim responsibility for those things that are mine and to NOT take responsibility for those things that rightfully belong to another. In fact, it is irresponsible of me to own what is someone else's baggage ( I stunt their growth). Nor should I however, disregard another, by dismissing them as "sick" simply so I don't have to take responsiblity for whatever truth they may be spouting about me that I don't want to hear.
Well, this is certainly convoluted enough...but responsiblity is bigger to me than do I hold a job (yes), reach out to AA's (sometimes) or clean my home (as little as possible). Responsibility is all of the above and also gauging the social consequences of actions by honestly examining my motives (or something like that). Anyway, thanks for listening and God bless everyone's journey. Kelley
Member: liz c
Location: nyc
Date: 16 Mar 1998
Time: 15:27:23
Hi, I'm Liz. I'm an alcoholic. this is the first cyber- meetimg that I've been to. Great topic. I just had one comment. the blue type on the blue background is nearly impossible to read, I'm enjoying this meeting but getting a headache trying to read everyone's comments. How about a more readable background color ( white? maybe?) I don't know if it's just me or what, but this illegibility defintely takes away from the meeting. I would love to read everyone's comments but CAN'T with these colors. your comments, please... liz
Member: jill m
Location:
Date: 16 Mar 1998
Time: 16:23:27
Member: jill m
Location:
Date: 16 Mar 1998
Time: 16:23:42
Member: jill m
Location: tx
Date: 16 Mar 1998
Time: 16:23:58
Member: Mike W.
Location: Oregon
Date: 16 Mar 1998
Time: 16:51:05
Hi, love the topic, I'm dealing with today in my life. I found I took great pride in NOT being responsible when I was drinking. Responsibility has come much like any growing child. I have taken it one step at a time. Today, to the best of my ablility I try to consider what I maybe responsible for before I step into it (how responsible) this is very important because today I can be overly responsible (like any good drunk) and this can stifle the people I love and not allow them the right to learn and grow on their own. Being more responsible it also makes me a great target for those who are needed and now I'm looking at that!! Just when I thought I had it figured out!!! Much love,Mike
Member: Rich R, alcoholic/compulsive person
Location: Detroit, MI
Date: 16 Mar 1998
Time: 17:34:24
Rich R, alcoholic...hmmm responsibility. I've read what the others have shared, but I don't know what to say. I was VERY responsible before coming to AA 7 years ago. Same job for 26 years, same wife for 24 years, no debt. Only problem was every once in awhile I completely lost control of my drinking. I guess, as I am thinking about it right now, THAT wasn't too responsible. I mean, driving drunk and all isn't exactly model citizen behavior. Good topic, making me think. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Gary P.
Location: IL.
Date: 16 Mar 1998
Time: 20:29:06
Hi my name is Gary and I'm an alky!!!!!!.this is the first time for me on cyber .I have seen things one the screen before at my sponsors but only read nrver participated.We (wifeand me) have our own way in now.That may not sound much for the topic but let me tell you I never would have had one of these things let alone aroof over my head if i was still out there!!!!!I was a sicky. It is amazing if I slow down and think where I came from.Sometimes it is scaryto think how far there is to go.But I know I have to be the one to do it (DAMIT).So thanks for being here hope to be here more.LOL Gary P. IL.
Member: Michael C.
Location: NC
Date: 16 Mar 1998
Time: 20:40:34
Hi all, I am Michael....a clean yet compulsive addict.
First time here and glad to find u all! I can think back to the days before i stopped using and WOW, was I irresponsible! Like I heard before, I only went to work on time only to secure my using.
It humors me today that I get worked up to pay bills on time, to keep appointments, and to keep my word to others. My, what changes have taken place in my life! The "normal" and "daily" things I go through are shadows of things I used to dream about. This brings with it a new and welcomed respect for myself, and I enjoy having that today. I must say that the courage to attain responsibility is a direct gift of the program. The rewards are vast and man, I am happy to be here and happy to be clean!!
Thanks for listening and for the topic, Michael C.
Member: skyhawk
Location: ALB NM
Date: 16 Mar 1998
Time: 23:04:37
HI I am new here but i belone thanks for being here
Member: ROSS
Location: ROTORUA NEW ZEALAND
Date: 17 Mar 1998
Time: 01:36:08
Member: Carol A.
Location: Phoenix,Az
Date: 17 Mar 1998
Time: 03:42:03
Hi my name is Carol and I am a real alcoholic. Responsability is a wonderful topic for me. I seem to go to extremes with this one. I prayed for God to remove my complacancy and now have several service commitments. I am also doing the 12th step (sponser) work as outlined in our wonderful Big Book. I remember the days when I couldn't even get up to play my role as a mother and I express deep graditude that today I am not only a mother but also a trusted servent in the program that not only saved my life but also gave me life. Responability was a four letter word to me at one time but today I must admit it is one of my gifts from God and AA. Yours in love and service, Carol A
Member: Kenneth M.
Location: Mass
Date: 17 Mar 1998
Time: 09:04:49
hi i'm 15 and a greatful recovering addict and alcoholic benn sober for 75 days ben in and out of recovery for a little over a year know .it's been hard.i have just started my step 4 if your a teen your never to young. G.O.D. bless you all Kenney
Member: Kenneth M.
Location: Mass
Date: 17 Mar 1998
Time: 09:05:08
hi i'm 15 and a greatful recovering addict and alcoholic benn sober for 75 days ben in and out of recovery for a little over a year know .it's been hard.i have just started my step 4 if your a teen your never to young. G.O.D. bless you all Kenney
Member: Kenneth M.
Location: Mass
Date: 17 Mar 1998
Time: 09:05:24
hi i'm 15 and a greatful recovering addict and alcoholic benn sober for 75 days ben in and out of recovery for a little over a year know .it's been hard.i have just started my step 4 if your a teen your never to young. G.O.D. bless you all Kenney
Member: Evie, H
Location: Toronto
Date: 17 Mar 1998
Time: 10:40:29
My name is Evie and I'm an alcoholic. I've 'known' for some time but have only just truly admitted this to myself. The last time I got drunk was last night. I woke up this morning full of resolve. I AM GOING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS BEFORE IT DOES SOMETHING TERRIBLE TO ME. Today is my first meeting and I'm scared, but I'm going to it anyway. I've been irresponsible all my life -- I am now 40 -- and I've been drinking most of my life, since I was 11. But no more. Wish me luck as I wish the same to you.
Member: Scott S.
Location: Rochester, Minnisota
Date: 17 Mar 1998
Time: 10:59:53
Hi, I'm Scott and I'm an alcoholic. I'm grateful to be here and grateful for the the fellowship of A.A. and grateful for this meeting. I'm amazed that the wonderful love of the fellowship has found it's way to the Internet.
I've enjoyed reading everyone's input from the meeting. Great topic Sarah! I'm new to the program; I been sober since January 28th, 1998. One of the most wonderful things that I've been able to do was to go to a meeting at a detox center in Rochester, Minnisota. People who are in detox have the opportunity to attend a meeting as they sober up. I've been fortunate to be able to carry what little I've learned to these green recruits. It was one of the most fulfilling experiences I've ever had. So many wonderful things have happened to me since I found A.A. that I can't wait to pass the message on to people who are even newer than I am.
Maxime E., and others like you who are new, keep coming back. I've just started the forth step myself and I have God and the fellowship to thank for the wonderful things that have happened to me since taking the first three steps. Now that I have God in the driver's seat I can take some time to enjoy some the the scenery around me.
Thanks for Listening to me today. I can't wait to go to my home group and share my experience with you people here on the internet with the people at my regular meeting. May God bless all of you!
Member: Fred K.
Location: New York City
Date: 17 Mar 1998
Time: 16:52:11
Hi everyone, I'm Fred, an alcoholic. I am only back 10 days today. As for the topic of responsibility, I belive that it is everyone's obligation, as stated in meetings, that when someone needs help, the hand of AA should be there, and for that, I am responsible. However, at this time, my wife feels that I am irresponsible. Probably because, at 10 days back, I don't know shit. I'm just trying to stay in the day, use my 3rd step to it's fullest potential, and work the program like never before. i don't think until this last time out that I really wanted it, but guess what ... I want it now, more than anything else and I know everything is going to be OK. I have a higher power today; something I have never had in the past attempts at this and I know he will take care of me. Good luck and I look forward to using this site in the future.
Member: Gary B
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Date: 17 Mar 1998
Time: 21:07:21
Responsibility---a *great* topic. Resposibility to me is taking life by the horns and doing soemthing about it. It's realizing what is happening to me is my doing and not blaming someone else. It's also realizing that there are some things I cannot change to my point of view, and some I can, if I do this postively. Finally, without taking responsibility in this fashion I have no freedom in my life. Finally, each morning I can take the responsibilty the coming day, the good and the bad, and try to make it the best...If I do this, the Force that underlies all takes care of the rest....
Member: Sashya C.
Location: Carroll, Ia
Date: 17 Mar 1998
Time: 21:52:50
Hi there! I am Sashya, and I am addicted to everything!! To Evie-hang in there! No one among us was able to do this all at once, no matter how long we have in recovery (1 day or 1 year, ) because we ALL have to do it one day at a time.
This topic is really great. I must admit that being irresponsible was my forte when I was drinking and using. I wanted everyone I knew to have such low expectations of me that I had all the freedom in the world. I always felt like I didn't belong. I grew up in an addicted home. I thought God had deserted me. So, every chance I got, I disappointed someone else and that way I could turn my will over to the dope. I got up when the dope arrived, and I went to bed when the dope ran out. And secretly I hoped that the dope was good enough to keep me from waking up again. I have always been something of a perfectionist, and so I think, now that I am sober, that most of what I thought were everyone's high expectations, were somewhat pressures I was putting on myself. Someone mentioned self-loathing...that was me!! My drug use had everything to do with self-abuse. Today, I am sober, and quite frankly it doesn't matter to me how many days, months, years a person has in recovery. I have been around long enough to figure out that we still only have today, to work with. Thanks for the topic! I know there is probably plenty of service work that I could do in my local face to face meetings, that I am sure I have made excuses for not doing. I also want to add that without God and His grace, I couldn't do it alone!!!
Peace and God Bless You!! Your Sister in Christ, Sashya
Member: Chris A.
Location: Ft. Myers,Fl.
Date: 17 Mar 1998
Time: 23:40:05
Hi, my name is Chris and I'm an alcoholic/addict. Today I almost feel overwhelmed by responsability but, never having been responsable before,it feels pretty darn good.Today I work for a christian drug/alcohol rehablitation program, the same one I got sober in. My co-workers tell me I'm a great example to the new guys in the program.But it's not about being an example,it's my responsability to show the new guys that there is HOPE,that they too can beat this dreaded disease we call alcoholism.I for one owe a new life to A.A..And it's my responsability to see that someone gets that same chance.
Great topic Sarah,this was my first time visiting this site.I'll be back!!!
Chris A.
Member: Bruce H
Location: Louisville KY
Date: 17 Mar 1998
Time: 23:40:58
hi everyone! bruce here. a greatful recovering alcoholic.
i'm a new comer eight months now. good topic Sarah. Responsibility It started with me staying sober one day at a time. As the program started working for me, ifound myself getting into member responsibilities like set up, tear down and greeting other new comers. From there i started noticing myself taking more care with the other aspects of my life. showing up on time. Getting to work early. suiting up and showing up where i was suppose to.
While drinking i blamed all of my troubles on everyone and everything else. Didn't look at my part in things. As others have said, i just didn't take responsibility for my own actions. i too blew my responsibilities so others wouldn;t expect as much out of me and my self esteem got lower and lower.
Today, thanks to this program, i am no longer this way. i have greater self respect, i don't fear everything in the world and i know god is driving so i can do as he wishes.
Thanks for the opportunity to share.
Member: Jacque R.
Location: Nebraska
Date: 18 Mar 1998
Time: 00:50:28
Welcome Kenney from Mass! 75 days....and grateful, too. Talk about being responsible...stay with us young man. Your teen voice is so important in our meetings, but unfortunately so seldom heard. Just keep coming back and giving it to us....we'll take it! Peace.
Member: BarryS
Location: Mississippi
Date: 18 Mar 1998
Time: 03:57:00
Great topic RESPONSIBILITY: My name is BarryS and i am a real alcoholic/addict.My favorite expression is "fix the blame fast" I blamed my wife, my son, my work, the government, the weather, etc. for my drinking.Today i am not responsible for my alcoholism, but I am responsible for my recovery. In order for things to change, I have to change. Personal growth is painful, but through God's Grace I can improve one day at a time. Progrees not Perfection thank God. Appreciate you letting me share. Wish everyone a wonderful, exciting sober day, BarryS
Member: Ken P
Location: Long Island, New York
Date: 18 Mar 1998
Time: 13:01:51
Hi everyone, my name is Ken P. and I am a newly recovering alcoholic. Responsibility--two and a half months ago the only "responsibility" I maintained was making sure I wouldn't run out of alcohol. The only things I could be counted on to do were get drunk, mess up, and cause problems to those who dared to stay around me.
I just got out of rehab yesterday and now have 77 days clean. I made a meeting yesterday and will make one today, but I promised my Sponsor that I would catch one this afternoon. I misread my local meeting list and missed out on an afternoon meeting. Then I remembered Staying Cyber. This way I can at least fulfill the responsibility to myself to "get my medicine" this afternoon. There are always excuses for missing a meeting, but I've been giving excuses for so long, I'm only fooling myself. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: jayne
Location: illinois
Date: 18 Mar 1998
Time: 13:59:53
hi i'm jayne and a greatful recovering alcoholic. have been trying to find you folks on the net . i'm a real novice with the computer and this is my first attempt at communicating on it. i'm scheduled for surgery tomorrow so missed one of my weekly meetings and this is great. good luck kenny. one of the first things they told me to do was get a sponsor and i did. if i am willing to go to any lengths the big book tells me all stay sober. through the grace of God and AAhave over nineteen years aday at a time. responsibility was doing it your way instead of mine. you folks have taught me how to live a day at a time. carrying the message with fellow AA's either to someones home,hospitals and most important atmeetings from just showingup at first tograduate to emptying ashtrays and making coffee, i had a great problem talking for the first six months but you folks told me to keep coming back. it would get better and it did. the fears have lessened and i've made great friends. thank you so much for my sobriety jay njne
Member: Gary
Location: Alaska
Date: 19 Mar 1998
Time: 01:27:28
My name is Gary and I'm a real alcoholic. The first time I heard the words 'real alcoholic' I was at my first meeting of Alcoholic Annonymous in Anchorage Alaska during the Alaska oil pipeline days in 1975-1978. In some of the meetings in those days they would begin by reading a portion of Chapter 3 ' More about alcoholism and how it works [chap.5] from the Big Book (which is standard at all meetings). Chapter 3 starts off like this " Most of us are unwilling to admit that we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death. We learned that we had to fully concede to our in- nermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presenttly may be, has to be smashed. We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcololic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control but such intervals-usually brief-were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of out type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better. We are like men who have lost their legs; they never grow new ones." When I heard that last sentance, I knew then what I was up against. From that day on I knew I was dealing with a powerful enemy. You see I thought I could stop drinking for a month or 2 and the body would heal itself. I could just clean up my act so to speak and get back to business as usual. But the this sentence changed my understanding of alchololism and I knew I was in for a hell of a challange. Slowly but surely I took the bull by the horns and tried to wrestle it to the ground. I had a slip after 2 1/2 years and got back in the program in April of 1981 and so far so good I haven't had a drink since. When I started over again, I did a few things differently. I introduced myself as a newcomer, didn't talk for 30 days except to say I'm Gary and I'm an alchololic. I learned to listen and seeing as I was in No. Calif. when I surfaced after my slip, I didn't feel the need to tell everybody that I wasn't exactly new. Apparently my best thinking didn't work for me before so I decided to let my Higher Power and the people in the meetings give me some help. I met a special lady in 1983 and we had a daughter in 1985. Having children has taught me responsibility, it comes through osmosis; for once in my life I had to think of someone else besides myself. Just before my daughter was born I learned to pray, I found a quiet place in the hospital, knelt down and I said "Dear God, all that I'm asking for is that my daughter have both arms and legs and just be a healthy baby." Then came the miracle of life, I was seeing it for the first time and I was sober too. Since then I went back to school, got a trade and moved back to Alaska and got a good job. Today I have a great homegroup it's kinda like public school you don't have a choice who are going to be your fellow students. And the rest of you are right, I am responsible; I'm responsible for myself and I am responsilbe to my fellow alcoholics for without them I wouldn't have what I have today. Responsibility I did not get over night, along with sobriety came maturity and along with that came responsibility. I believe you have to give it away to keep it. I've been the secretary of my home group, I volunteer for the AA answering service and I sponsor a few people. I do this because it gives me a more well rounded sobriety. I feel my sobriety is like a chain, I'm as strong as my weakest link. I am constantly trying to think of new and different ways to make my sobriety fresh and interesting. For example last Sunday a friend and I found a meeting out in the middle of nowhere that has a total of two members. The people had never seen us before or we them, we sat down for an hour and had a great meeting. Hence I'm keeping my sobriety fresh and interesting. This sobriety is quite an adventure. So hang in there and don't quite before the miracle happens. Thank You for my life. Gary
Member: Kate T.
Location: Wisconsin
Date: 19 Mar 1998
Time: 06:12:36
Kate, alcoholic. This is my first visit to a voiceless meeting. I'm not sure what to make of it yet, I must say the meditative quality surpasses some meetings I've been to. Silence can be golden. Responsibilty had to be redefined after I came to. Broken down, the word may imply that I Katenow have the ability to respond, a gift that I now can return. Having the ABILITY TO RESPOND to others is the blessing I've been given that replaced the curse of reactionaryism. Step 12 is the arena in which I now practice the ability to respond. Grateful.
Member: jimmyp
Location: hatteras,nc
Date: 19 Mar 1998
Time: 07:21:51
my name jimmy and i am an alcoholic,good topic sarah , my 1st time here. responsability in aa is fairly simple " WHEN ANYONE, ANYWHERE, REACHES OUT FOR HELP,I WANT THE HAND OF AA ALWAYS TO BE THERE. AND FOR THAT; I AM RESPONSIBLE as for the rest of my life responibilty is sometimes trying , i gues even after 11 yrs its, hey wecome to the real world jimmy, thanks all fo sharin' . i am very grateful i found this site today!! live in an area where meetings are sparse but we got 4 a week now! you 'll have a nice day
Member: Jeannie L
Location: ND
Date: 19 Mar 1998
Time: 10:27:28
Hello Everyone! I am a greatful recovering alcoholic/addict, and am really glad to have finally found this site! This more than makes up for the countless hours of deadend searches. The topic of being repsonsible really hits the spot. I just received my 1st speeding ticket, and I already have a suspended DL, my own fault. Waiting for lawyers to write a letter to reinstate me was taking too long so I drove. My Own Fault. Such is life. Now I get to do the work that I've been putting off for a while. Thank God I'm still sober other wise I'd just pay the fine and keep driving. Thank God for an understanding Highway Patrol Officer, he actually pointed me in some good directions for meetings and understood my situation. Honesty does go a long way. Now to get in gear and do the much needed work to get my DL. Thanks for letting me share. God Bless
Member: Oliver Z
Location: Cologne/Germany
Date: 19 Mar 1998
Time: 12:08:20
Hi everybody!!! I want to join your meeting again. I left my first comment here two weeks ago and I even left my adress here, because I wanted to try to get some "international AA-con- tact". And I really got a letter from Glen from Denton. I was really lucky. And now I want to join your meeting again!!! I think responsibi- lity is a very important thing-not only in AA but in everybody's life. You've got to take res- ponsibility for yourself at first. And that is something which is very difficult for me. A good help for that is or could be to help other alco- holics. But in the last time I have so many dif- ficulties with myself that I need very much for myself and can't give so much. But I think this has to change, because if I want to stay sober I've got to give the AA-message to other alco- holics. So I think I'm gonna try better again. Because everytime I did, it was very good for me. Think of that !!! Thanks for letting me share!!! Many greetings to Glen and good and sober 24 hours for everyone of you!!! Oliver from Germany Oliver Ziegler;Severinstr.92-96;50678 Cologne
Member: JPM
Location: LAC-MEGANTIC
Date: 19 Mar 1998
Time: 13:29:55
I LIVE IN LAC-MEGANTIC. HELLO
Member: IAN TARDIF
Location: LAC MEGANTIC
Date: 19 Mar 1998
Time: 13:38:41
HI I LIVE IN LAC MEGANTIC. I AM A GOALER. MY NAME IS IAN TARDIF I LOVE EVERY BODYXXXXX
Member: Amy G.-C.
Location: Switzerland
Date: 19 Mar 1998
Time: 15:01:27
My name is Amy and I am an alcoholic, a Swiss/American one by marriage, how I escaped my responsibility (the old geopgaphical change try) was that I met this guy on a Mission trip who lived in Switzerland, was a Zoologist, and fell for me. Although we drank together in those early stages of courtship he only realized I was an alcolic after I had moved to this country and was living with his family. I took the opportunity one day when they were all away and he was working just to have one glass of red wine...well we all know too well what that does. I had been trying to quit drinking for about 6 months at that point and when I moved here I really didn`t, but I slipped HARD and blew my cover. He married me anyway and is a great support. I have now lived in these Alps for 2 and a half years and have learned responsibility, but as my dad says, it is a characteristic that is developed with discipline, not just easy to come by. A note to Steve who didn`t know what to say in all Caps, just hang in there. After 9 months I no longer craved a beer or wine (and I had been a heavy drinker of both since I was 18, now I am 32). They drink a lot in Europe but it seems not to the excess that I lived through in a southern University Environment where I studied or in Washington DC where I had a career. I thought everyone was a drinker (all my buddies were) but when you get yourself out of that vicious circle and away from those bad influences you have a chance to heal with the help of your Higher Power. Praying to him from the depths got me to the alps! Serenity to all, Amy G.
Member: DeeP
Location: Phoenix
Date: 19 Mar 1998
Time: 22:04:35
Hello, My name is Dee and I am an Alcoholic. This is my first visit to Staying Cyber. A friend of mine and I want to also start a web meeting. Please email me any suggestion you may have to dee@realtimenetworking.com.
Thank you for your suggestions. Until we meet GOD bless.
Member: Eric K.
Location: USA
Date: 19 Mar 1998
Time: 22:20:12
I live in Orange County, Hi.
Member: Eric K.
Location: USA
Date: 19 Mar 1998
Time: 22:20:46
I live in Orange County, Hi.
Member: Catherine G
Location: DC
Date: 19 Mar 1998
Time: 22:48:35
Hi, I'm not sure if I'm an alcoholic, but lately, I've been drinking more. Also, I find myself planning to get my kids rides if they are going to be out in the evening so that I won't have to drive them and I can drink.
Member: Catherine G
Location: DC
Date: 19 Mar 1998
Time: 22:48:57
Hi, I'm not sure if I'm an alcoholic, but lately, I've been drinking more. Also, I find myself planning to get my kids rides if they are going to be out in the evening so that I won't have to drive them and I can drink.
Member: Shawn
Location: Pennsylvaina
Date: 19 Mar 1998
Time: 23:21:23
Hi everyone my name is shawn and i am an alcoholic/drug addit. Id like to find out how i can be a part of AA or NA on the net so if someone would email me and tell me how to do this please do so thanks. Sincerly, Shawn
Member: Stacey E
Location: Dallas,Tx
Date: 19 Mar 1998
Time: 23:30:28
Thank you for the topic "Responsibility", I agree with several of you that my first responsibility is to not take that 1st drink. i know today that its the 1st drink that gets me drunk, not the 3rd or 4th like i used to think it was. i also feel like i have to be honest with others, and myself. This is a big challenge for me, because half the time i don't have a clue what i think or feel. Well, i know when i'm pissed off, but at that point it's too late....right?! i almost have 3 years sobriety, and my life has changed "dramatically". i have allways been so damn responsible-but it was more for selfish reasons, like someone else shared, if i kept my job, i knew that i would have money to drink on. These thoughts were all so drowned in denial that i could'nt even scratch the surface. This is my first visit to the AA website, and its really "groovy" Thanks for letting me share, SE
Member: Barb C.
Location: West Allis, WI
Date: 19 Mar 1998
Time: 23:32:04
Hi everybody! My name is Barb and I am an alcoholic. Responsibility is always a great topic. When I first came to AA, I thought I was responsible. I was one of those drunks who wnet to work every day, kept up the house, did the laundry, took care of my husband and our two teenagers. What I was really doing was taking of everyone else so I wouldn't have to take care of myself. Today, I try very hard to be responsible to myself by taking care of myself. Sometimes I slip back into that old martydom syndrome. My sponsor always told me I was of no use to anyone else unless I took care of myself first. A hard lesson to learn. I do find though by doing that it is much easier to be responsible in my whole life. This fellowship of AA is a miracle and I thank God every day for doing for me what I couldn't do for myself. Thank you all for allowing me to grow a little bit today.
Member: Barbara B
Location: 3rd Step-Tonite
Date: 20 Mar 1998
Time: 02:24:26
Hi, Barbara, Alcoholic, Pa For some odd reason, the work (word) of committment seems to be synonymous (did I spell that right?) with responsibility. Committment was something I was never good at. How could I possibly be responsible to something if I couldn't commit to it. That takes work. It is not something that comes easy to me. Sure its easy does it, but do it. And as they say, if you ain't prayin' you ain't stayin. I don't mean just not drinking, I mean making coffee, keeping a friend, making it to work or a class, or helping the newcomer or a sponsee. That's why like someone before me mentioned, to ask God to shape our ideals. To lead us or guide us, to make us useful to him. To help us to commit, or just that simple alcoholic prayer, Help. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Barbara B
Location: 3rd Step-Tonite PA
Date: 20 Mar 1998
Time: 02:25:23
Hi, Barbara, Alcoholic, Pa For some odd reason, the work (word) of committment seems to be synonymous (did I spell that right?) with responsibility. Committment was something I was never good at. How could I possibly be responsible to something if I couldn't commit to it. That takes work. It is not something that comes easy to me. Sure its easy does it, but do it. And as they say, if you ain't prayin' you ain't stayin. I don't mean just not drinking, I mean making coffee, keeping a friend, making it to work or a class, or helping the newcomer or a sponsee. That's why like someone before me mentioned, to ask God to shape our ideals. To lead us or guide us, to make us useful to him. To help us to commit, or just that simple alcoholic prayer, Help. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Amy G.C.
Location: Switzerland
Date: 20 Mar 1998
Time: 02:46:06
Hello, I`m Amy again, still an alcoholic but in recovery now almost 3 years, a few slips. Today my husband left to go to an out of town meeting and the thought really crossed my mind to have just one drink today, that was all I would take, then I realized that to do that would crush me again and had to immediately ask for my higher power`s help. I came in here to iron a dress and decided to go on the wed and came back here automatically. I am so glad the theme was responsibility, reminding me and helping me to see it is the only way to happiness. Thanks for letting me share. Amy in Switzerland
Member: Amy G.C.
Location: Switzerland
Date: 20 Mar 1998
Time: 02:47:36
Hello, I`m Amy again, still an alcoholic but in recovery now almost 3 years, a few slips. Today my husband left to go to an out of town meeting and the thought really crossed my mind to have just one drink today, that was all I would take, then I realized that to do that would crush me again and had to immediately ask for my higher power`s help. I came in here to iron a dress and decided to go on the wed and came back here automatically. I am so glad the theme was responsibility, reminding me and helping me to see it is the only way to happiness. Thanks for letting me share. Amy in Switzerland
Member: Steve
Location: St. Louis
Date: 20 Mar 1998
Time: 05:09:26
Hi there! I have been attending a 2 hour treatment group 3 times a week for three weeks and am attempting to stop drinking but have continued to drink at least once or twice a week. I accept the fact that I am an alcoholic and truly want to stay away from alcoholic but seem to be stuck in my usual binge pattern of drinking which is once every 4 to 5 days. At this point I feel that I am making progress since I drink less often but know that it won't last. I usually don't drink to the point of sloppy drunkedness and at this point don't understand how responsibility relates. Any suggestions would be greatly welcomed. Thanks for listening .
Member: Doris Blue Horse
Location: OUT WEST
Date: 20 Mar 1998
Time: 12:25:54
Hollo, my name is Doris Blue Horse and I am an alcoholic. Last night I graduated from a treatment facility after 14 and 1/2 months of group in various forms and I am sober. My plan is to stay sober but I don't want to make absolute statements so I just pray, go to meetings and try to live and work the program of A.A. At my graduation I heard some pretty heady stuff and I am trying to not let my ego run with it all but I also am trying to accept all of those lovely things my fellow group members said to and about me. I have a new sponser now and she has given me an assignment. 90 meetings in 90 days and some reading every night. Of course at first i thought all of this hard work was unnecessary but now I am enjoying it and the repitition has done me a lot of good. It's kind of having to write on the blackboard 100 times. THAT WAY you just don't forget it. I am 52 years old and I didn't start drinking until I was 43 so my drinking career started rather late. Befor that I was "just a social drinker" (yeah right). But! for the most part I was just a social drinker for most of my life. But! when I was I started to do some serious drinking and got very good at it in a very short time. I guess I am living proof that this disease can strike at any time. I am finally learning to accept responsibility for my actions but that too is a slow process. It is difficult to do something I not only haver never done before but pointedly DID NOT WANT TO DO in the first place. But now I know that when I r e a l l y don't want to do a paarticular task that is just the task I must perform. I just think I will keep working at it and stay sober then just see what life has in store for me. By the way - - - - - at least I have life. In this past 14 months I have seen many die. Many wonderful people that I knew and loved are DEAD! " " " Some must Die so that others may live" " " At a meeting once (just after Steve died of liver disease at 46 looking 66) a young man said, " if he had just come here sooner" I TRY TO REMEMBER "NOW" is sooner for me. Now is the time and very day is my NOW! STEVE_ _ _ _ _! STEVE in ST.LOUIS It's time for you to take a serious look at what you are doing. I would hope that you will listen to what you hear at those meetings that you are going to and realize that when you quit drinking you "QUIT DRINKING" when you quit you don't slow down, you QUIT, SOP, END OF IT< IT'S OVER, YOU DON"T DO IT ANY MORE. I hope that you can do that. I hope that you find the strength and the support to just STOP. I know we are not supposed to preach or give advice but THIS IS THE ONLY THING that worked for me. May the holy spirit be with you. Doris BH
Member: Katherine G
Location: New York, NY
Date: 20 Mar 1998
Time: 12:44:44
Hi. I'm Katherine G, alcoholic. The topic of responsibility is a good one for me because I am working on my fourth step right now and find that I sometimes take responsibility for things which were not reall under my control, such as the abuse I suffered as a child. But when it comes to things like unwanted advances from men, I am less willing to take responisbility, even though I KNOW that I played a part in the situation. Either by flirting or by not being distinctly detached etc. This is something to work on, developing a clear idea of what it is I am responsible for (my actions today) and that which I need to deal with as a part of my past, so it doesn't carry over into my actions of today. I pray for the strength to do what I need to stay sober and to help another alcoholic in the process. Thanks.
Member: CHARLIE A.
Location: SOUTH CAROLINA
Date: 20 Mar 1998
Time: 13:48:40
Hi everyone i'm an alcoholic named charlie; i think this topic is a great one for everyone in the program regardless of lenghth of time sober. I am responsible to do anything i can for the good of AA. some times that is to open the doors, make coffie, anything! We sometimes forget that this program is about the new comer that is the way those of us that have been sober for a while stay sober. I am always trying to remember what it was like for me when i got here. I am responsible to those that have gone before me to make sure the program is still spreading the message. I some time forget where i am with the program because i have been sober for a few 24 hrs and now have a life. So, this is a good meeting for me. I also many time get upset with my fellow members because i think they are not doing enopugh. What i need to wory about is what am i doing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thanks sarah for the topic! gratful to be sober and sory about the spelling i'm not a rocket scientist> charlie
Member: Susan W.
Location: Cape Coral, FL
Date: 20 Mar 1998
Time: 15:08:37
Hi, my name is Susan and I am without a doubt an alcoholic. I have a tough time with responsibility especially when it comes to AA, mainly because I still suffer from many "self" defects.
Recently, my husband called me from the Keys where he works during the week and told me he was bringing home a friend's girlfriend who was once again drunk after 45 days of staying sober. She is an in and outer and my first reaction was "What an inconvenience!". I also have sort of a tough time with really wet drunks since I don't have that much experience with them. I was able to adjust my attitude, and seeing Louise after a week of staying with us and constant meetings, I can honestly say that this experience was much more of a gift than an inconvenience. She read my web page (daily meditations) every day and got tons of encouraging e-mail from others in recovery.
Today, she has gone back home, SOBER.
Guess that sums it up. . . .responsibility is not a burden. When drinking I couldn't even pull off the smallest of responsibilities. . . now I see it as a gift that I could not practice if I wasn't sober.
Wishing everyone a great sober week!
Member: Philip T.
Location: NY
Date: 20 Mar 1998
Time: 18:39:19
Hi:
I'm not really sure of I'm an Alcoholic or not. Soul-searching and gathering information about the disease (like at web sites like this one) is my attempt to become analytically responsible.
I am confused by the lack of consistent scientific, diagnositc information regarding Alcoholism. The terms and definitions used to describe (and often diagnose) the condition are oftentimes vague. Diagnostic tests and questionnaires are often poor, unscientific and provide little insight. In fact, many diagnostic schools of thought outright contradict one another! Is Alcoholism a physical disease (e.g. Dr. James R. Milan, "Under the Influence"). Is Alcoholism a psychological condition of the mind which indirectly induces physical addiction to alcohol? Or is it a combination of both? Does anyone really know?
One may quickly label my cynical observations psychological denial. Rather, I think I am looking for intelligent, scientific information providing clear, concise definitions of Alcoholism. This will aid my recovery (if at all needed).
The Alcoholic Diagnostic Community is responsible for providing info-seekers like myself with consistent, accurate information based upon factual research. The lact thereof needlessly delays the recovery process.
Member: Kelley C
Location: Chicago
Date: 20 Mar 1998
Time: 19:50:05
Hi. This is Kelley C from Chicago again...sorry for the second post but I just want a quick space to respond to Philip T's legitimate questioning.
To PHILIP T from NY: The etiology of alcoholism is still scientifically debated, although there is a substantial body of medical literature focusing on biological markers. Please post back in the Coffeepot section of this site to discuss if you would like.
Sincerely,
Kelley C
Member: JULIE MCL
Location: Orillia,Ontario,Canada
Date: 20 Mar 1998
Time: 19:59:53
My name is Julie and I,m an alcoholic.I was told to keep it simple.When I came to A.A,I made a pledge as a member.I am responsible when anyone,anywhere reaches out for help.I want the hand of A.A to always to be there and for that I am responsible.Today i am a grateful memeber of Alcoholics Anonymous,I thank you for your sobriety,without it I wouldn't have mine.God bless. have a care, Julie oxoxoxo
Member: Tom S.
Location: Wisconsin
Date: 20 Mar 1998
Time: 20:58:36
Member: Jackie J
Location: Houston
Date: 20 Mar 1998
Time: 22:28:13
Hey there Philip T ... I once heard someone state that if you question whether or not you are in fact an alcoholic ... then THAT should answer your question! Not real scientific, but rather psychologically sound ... don't you think?
Member: Tommy G.
Location: MICHIGAN
Date: 20 Mar 1998
Time: 23:44:38
My name is Tommy G.and i`m an alcoholic form Ann Arbor,Michigan. Responsibility has been described to me as "the ability to respond!" which of course eluded me while drinking!! Thak you all for giving me the ability to respond! NOT JUST REACT!! It started for me with step one and the "WE" part of that step has been most helpful! i`m truly grateful !!!
Member: jrr
Location: harmony on the Lake
Date: 21 Mar 1998
Time: 00:57:55
just a quick reminder...since I have been here I have known people who DIED,KILLED OTHERS, ended up in JAILS and OTHER INSTITUTIONS, while trying to be analytically responsible.. I was once told if I question if I am an alcoholic , chances are I am a good candidate for the fellowship . I have yet to meet one yet who ended up here by mistake , but as I stated , I seen many DIE trying to determine if their being here was a mistake . funny because if you are not an alcoholic and you want to stop drinking, you will stop eventually , however , it could be the end of all brain activity too, for what ? analYTICAL responsibility ? best is ,this is for who want it , not who need it...peace jrr
Member: Snake
Location: State O' Maine
Date: 21 Mar 1998
Time: 04:57:01
Responsibility . . . I haven't accepted it yet. But I must. Hate having to admit to myself I am powerless over the drink. The few meetings I have attened and now this place are helping me, hopefully to accept my situation. Wish me luck.
Member: NancyS
Location: NJ
Date: 21 Mar 1998
Time: 10:38:58
Hi Everyone I'm Nancy and an alcoholic. This is my first time on this site . Thanks for being here. Responsibility is something I Thought I knew when I was dringing and in turn have learned that I knew Nothing about it. Today I Try to be responsible to myslef ,God, AA and the people around me. Some days I'm better than others. Thank God AA is here so I can be reminded that I'm Not perfect , that Only God is and if I continue to come to AA I will continue to recover and have something to offer the newcomer, which like someone else pointed out is the Most important person in the rooms at any meeting. Steve you asked if anyone had suggestions, my thoughts to you are to keep coming, when you are ready you Will stop. For some it takes more than others. Knowing you may be an alcoholic and Actually Accepting it are 2 Very different things. It took me some time in aa without a drink before I actually Accepted that I Am and Always will be an alkie. My Prayers are with you and your family. Enjoy the day Everyone, Nancy
Member: Ken
Location: Florida
Date: 21 Mar 1998
Time: 14:19:06
How do i start to stop to drink
Member: Bruce U
Location: NH
Date: 21 Mar 1998
Time: 17:57:13
I am an alcoholic and have recently come to terms with my addiction. Today is my first full day of sobriety and its not easy but I did it for myself and my family. I am also dealing with depression which is a double whammy. Thanks for listening.
Member: Max J.
Location: Necedah, WI
Date: 21 Mar 1998
Time: 19:52:17
Hello, my name is Max i'm an alcoholic, first time at the silent meeting, AA saved my life, may God bless all of you...Have a great week end...
Member: carol w.
Location: harrisburg pa
Date: 21 Mar 1998
Time: 22:36:26
hi everyone. I'm carol and i am most definatly an alchoholic. just found out about this site. its a good thing too because, although i have been sober for almost 7 years, i havn't been to a meeting in over a year. i guess the topic is responsability. after quite a few years of not drinking and attending meetings on a very regular basis, i decided to get a career and get my financial life in order. i failed to keep up with friends and AA too. now i have a carreer and not much support. my lover is a normy and thinks i'm just fine. but underneath i feel horribly empty again. these past few months i have become increasingly irritable and my temper seems out of control at times. i guess i havnt learned much about balance and all around respomsability to myself, friends, lover or, of all things, my higher power. i know i need to get it all back together before i lose it completly thanks for the ear
Member: Dave A
Location: SLC
Date: 22 Mar 1998
Time: 00:20:22
To Steve in St. Louis: I just got back from an AA meeting and heard there that i wont ever quit drinking. I am not God and do not know what I will do tommorow. But for today I will not drink or pick up UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES! Just for today. That made sense to me. Sometimes I have to say, "Not this 7-11!" :) that works to, by the time I get to the next one I usually have gotten out of my head. At the very least, keep some money with a friends number and call before going in to buy it. I WILL TAKE ANOTHER 24.
Member: NancyS
Location: NJ
Date: 22 Mar 1998
Time: 01:14:19
Ken, just the way you are right now , Reaching out for Help, none of us do it alone ! Keep coming back! Welcome :) Nancy
Member: john c
Location: marengo, ohio
Date: 22 Mar 1998
Time: 01:23:24
great meeting! john c. 1st time writing, 2nd time listening. I'm bombarded with responsibilities; wife kids, newcomers bills etc. wouldn't trade it for a drink today. I've been seeing more and more reminders of the idea that in serving others we are truly free. when I'm taking care of my responsibilities, I'm not thinking about myself, or what I'm not getting. this is a big plus for this self-absorbed drunk. when I was drinking I only had one responsibility; getting drunk. I'm grateful I hit this meeting. I was nursing a dandy resentment when I got on, but after reading everybodies comments, I'm back on track. To Phillip T. its my understanding that alcohoholism is a multi-faceted disease, a physical allergy combined with a psychological craving to which the solution is spiritual. The fact that you are doing so much research suggests to me that your drinking is causing you problems. Try stopping. If you can do it on your own congratulations, although you'll miss out on all the blessing of this program. If you can't , keep coming back One helpful hint. Keep an open mind. Intellect can be a major stumbling block to recovery. I have a bunch of intelligent friends who have been unable to grasp this simple program .The smarter they are, the harder it is to concieve that they cant' solve this problem themselves . Until the next drunk. Don't worry about "WHY", that takes forever. Instead of focusing on the problem, focus on the solution, which is in the steps. From those with double digit sobriety to those who might not make it through tonight thanks. you have helped to keep me sober . love, john