Member: Duane M.
Location: Central,New York
Date: 3/5/00
Time: 3:11:07 PM

Comments

Hello Family,My name is Duane and I am a real alchoholic. I would like to hear about live and let live.Sometimes it is hard to let people be who they are.Maybe it is because I am not getting what I want or things don't go my way.I know that we are all children of god and we are supposed to let each other be human,but sometimes it can be hard.Thank you for letting me share


Member: Maggie F
Location: Northern, CA
Date: 3/5/00
Time: 6:41:57 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Maggie,Alcoholic Addict. I'm grateful for the Steps of AA but most of all for the 3rd tradition that insures me that I have a right to be here, regardless if anyone agrees with me or my politics. It is comforting to know that my sobriety has taught me that people are for loving & God is for trusting. hang in.


Member: Joe  L
Location: arkansas
Date: 3/5/00
Time: 6:42:36 PM

Comments

hi- joe alcoholic here- i'm 10 mos sober by the grace of GOD my higher power-everyday i'm seem to learn how to live and how to handle life as it unfolds--when i drank i didn't know how due to my sick mind --that hole in my body ,that soul sickness-now that hole is getting feeled up as i go to my meetings,read the big book and thank GOD for taking that desire to drink away life gets better-i have learned that i can't control the ones i love,just show them love and that i do know how to live life--i find myself going back to my old self if i miss a meeting or two-so i know for me i have to go to my meetings and practice this simple program which is a miracle in so many peoples life HAVE A GREAT DAY one day at a time


Member: Iris
Location: Amsterdam
Date: 3/5/00
Time: 8:28:18 PM

Comments

Hi I'm Iris alcoholic, thank you for the topic. I'm just back from a holiday and I couldn't imagine going anywhere when still drinking. I had a great time. Some times I have a real hard time with live and let live especially in my head. I take peoples inventory, gossip about them, get really upset because they seem to have other morals then me (hehe, see where I come from)and that all very shitty and it's not a great space for be to be in and if I see myself being pissed off at somebody else I really try to pray about it when I calmed down a little and choose for the option of writing about what bothering me about this person and what my own part in it is, because it can sicken my whole day. Most of the time I talk with some body in the programme about it and they suggest me to pray for the person i have difficulties with.I do that for myself; I know it works. I also know that tomorrow I can feel different towards it all. What eats me today might not eat me tomorrow. I had such great help from my Higher Power during my holidays. While being with my friend's family I saw how much I learned in this programme. I didn't had to take every thing personally, or jump in somebody elses moodswing. It gave me more freedom.Thanks for letting me share, enjoy your day!


Member: Joanne N.
Location: Watertown, N.Y.
Date: 3/5/00
Time: 9:10:01 PM

Comments

Hi, i'm Joanne, an alcoholic. Live and let live... Well, I'm glad to be able to live sober today - one day at a time! I didn't know what it was like to live before, I just existed - in and out of n alcoholic fog. I'm sure everyone canrelate to that. It took awhile for that fog tolife after I got into the rooms. As it did, i realized what I had been missing - LIFE ITSELF! The second part, and let live is a little more difficult. After all i am sober now and KNOW the BEST way to live. Well, that's for me anyway, not necessarily for anyone else. The program works for me nd I couldn't learn to do it unless there were others there to guide me, but the reality was also that they couldn't live my program or my life for me. i had to apply the principals of AA in my life the best I could. And if someone else did it differently or someone didn't do it at all, it wasn't my place to live their lives for them. i have a hard enough time taking care of me. When I get into someone else's stuff I get all messed up. My control issues rear their ugly heads and I lose my serenity. That's the big thing, loss of serenity. But, how do I do that? Just like the program, practice, practice, practice, ONE DAY AT A TIME!


Member: GREGG G.
Location: KENNEWICK, WA
Date: 3/5/00
Time: 9:16:19 PM

Comments


Member: Bob P.
Location: N. Calif
Date: 3/5/00
Time: 9:37:29 PM

Comments

Bob here, 83 days clean & sober. Live and let live? In the drinking days, there was no such thing: because those other people/things/institutions really NEEDED my criticism and correction. Other things and I always needed to get involved. Or so I thought. This lead to resentments and that lead to more drinking. Today, "live and let live" is another way of me saying "grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change." Self will never did anything for me. And getting embroiled in something over which I had absolutely no control was--and is--a waste of time.


Member: Vickie C.
Location: Kennewick  Wa.
Date: 3/6/00
Time: 12:06:34 AM

Comments

I was given a real opportunity to live the live and let live phrase recently when a stranger hit my car the injuries to myself and my family ran the full gammit of destruction to plans emotional well being fiances and health and possibly with life long consequences. With 9 years of recovery I had no thought to making that person pay for his stupidity and a great sense of gratitude at the miracles that God distributed amiss the wreckage amazed me and those who learned of the details in which I was saved further injury. Today I know that all things work for good even the most impossible circumstance can witness of Gods love if I can remain grateful and look for the message in the mess. Live and let Live is not for the other guy as much as it for me. When I hold a resentment it doesn't injure the other guy it eats at my soul waste my time makes me miserable and feel more out of control why would I willing give a peron who has already hurt me any more power or time in my life to hurt me more thats what i can do for me forgive the other guy get on with the good things I have been given to recieve


Member: Toni G.
Location: Delta Junction, Alaska
Date: 3/6/00
Time: 2:07:54 AM

Comments

Welcome!!!all! it is so encourageing to me to here from u all.For me being a parent its not been easy to know my kids have to be left to live. Through thier eyes I dont understand! and visa- verse. Its wonderful how out of the mouth of babes we learn who we were, where we came from and where I must learn to listen.there is great serinity for me in my own inventory. I have found myself sticking my nose where it dosent belong and even when it starts to get pretty stinky, I keep diggin. Looking in the mirrior of self I have found that toni has found something about herselk she needs to run by her self honesty part inside, sure, I am my own worst enemie and I can resent this, or listen to my creator and prepare my spritual tools for my life.Im still able to except the things I canot change, and continur to learn. Thanks for being here luv toni


Member: Jean-Claude T.
Location: Belgium
Date: 3/6/00
Time: 7:26:21 AM

Comments

My name is JC and Iím an alcoholic.

Thanks for the topic, Duane. In all situations of life I have only two choices : accept with serenity or change with courage. I tried for many years to change the humans that surrounded me. Result : it never worked, I always got upset about it. I canít change somebody else, I have to accept him (with serenity!!!). I have to let him live in order to live well myself, without being upset or feel resentful towards him. Sometimes itís easy (when Iím in a good mood), sometimes itís harder, then I ask myself ďHow about you?Ē, it usually gets better.

Thanks for letting me share. jctoller@hotmail.com.


Member: Sarah D.
Location: Boston, MA
Date: 3/6/00
Time: 7:43:05 AM

Comments

Hello all. First time here. Just last night I decided that I really needed to put an end to my drinking. My husband and I got into an argument about nothing, which has been happening more and more lately. I am hard pressed to remember what most arguments are about, or what starts them off. Last night he left and I haven't heard from him. I called my brother and my best friend and asked for their help with kicking the drinking habit. I don't know how it got to be where it is now. I've had a hard life and survived all kinds of horrible things and ended up with yet another thing to survive, and what gets me is that this one I did to myself. Sorry if I'm getting off-topic here, but I need to vent. I'll be going to my very first meeting today after work instead of coming right home and hitting the bottle. Not hitting the bottle will be a first in a very long time. I suppose a test of live and let live will be tonight, when I come home from my first meeting and see my husband drinking a beer. Cause it's not just me with a problem but I can't make him own his I can only own mine. Thanks for being out there, all. I can now say I've been sober for one hour!


Member: Flora K
Location: USA
Date: 3/6/00
Time: 8:55:56 AM

Comments

Hello, Flora K alcoholic here- Live and let live is very difficult for me. While drinking I wanted so much for certain things to be different around me and believed I could change them. Before I found this program I think deluding myself that I could change other people was a strange and unworkable form of hope. It was the only hope I knew until I came into the rooms of AA and found a real, deep and abiding hope that I could get better one day at a time. Even after a few 24 hours in the program I have trouble with letting others live when I get angry and frustrated. I need to realize I can only keep my side of the street clean and certainly there's plenty to do just concentrating on that. Thank you all for being here.


Member: Joe M
Location: W.P.B. Florida
Date: 3/6/00
Time: 12:57:24 PM

Comments

Hi everyone I'm joe and I have alcoholism.

Thanks for the topic Dean. I've already read a lot of good things that I needed to hear. I know it has already been said that "Live and Let Live" is a two part suggestion. I have gotten drunk over both parts in the past. I originally came into AA back in 1982 and finally got sober in 1985. From 1985 to 1991 i managed to pull together 5 years. In '91 I went out again. Looking back, I know now that the program I was working back then wasn't AA. I attended only one group (one I helped form) and eventually became a big-wig in that group. When members from other groups started telling us to change I didn't like it. So, I began going to less and less meetings. There were a lot of other things going on as well but the bottom line is I picked up. Since then i've been through 5 treatments, umteen detoxes, filed chapter thirteen, lost my wife and the respect of my kids, and been in jails, hospitals, and mental institutions. BOY I SURE SHOWED THEM !

I couldn't learn to Live the program so I got drunk. I couldn't let others in AA and in my family live their lives so I drank and I lost all.

Today, with 79 days sober I thank God that I am even still alive. I still don't know how to Live and Let Live but I do know how to let God show me to the next right thing and that will be good enough till I do learn.

Love and Serenity for all Joe M joem_33461@yahoo.com

ps. after reading this you'll know why I don't share at meetings too often.


Member: Perry A.
Location: SC
Date: 3/6/00
Time: 1:59:09 PM

Comments

Perry here, a grateful alcoholic in recovery.

Well, I am pleased to see live and let live (L&LL) back on this board. L&LL is a very good place for this alcoholic to arrive at and stay with. I usually have to work on my life, by doing the steps, to arrive at a peaceful place where I "live and let live." Today, I'm practicing this relating to others, but have the "desire" to reach out. Reaching out is my will, my desire, and I know it can get me into problems. My desires for financial security, sexual relationships, and goals for the other areas of my life can really dominate my life, if I do not surrender my will to my HP first, and ask for HP guidance on a daily basis. Without this help, I "go off" on my desire to obtain, to have, and to do, in a way that much resembles my old "self-will run riot." My reaching out for love can get me into lustful relationships, if I'm not careful, and my desires for financial success can get me into the lust after money resulting in envy, which is a bad spot for this AA, too. When I surrender my reaching out to my HP, people come into my life for a reason, situations begin to make sense, and I have the right relationship with God and with others I encounter in my life.

While my will and desires are God given, as an alcoholic, "I have to" make my ego a junior partner and let my HP steer the course for me, and then turn over the outcomes, as well. At times this really takes work and faith, and does not mean I have to be satisfied with less, rather it means, for me, that I work my program, trust in my HP and rely on the program, thus allowing for things to come to me in God's time and in God's way. This requires I have faith in a power greater than myself. Where I get into trouble is when I think my ego's voice is my HP. As someone pointed out last week, if my 'ego' becomes 'EGO' and 'God' becomes 'god' in my mind, I'm screwed. How do I know, well, my HP always looks after me and "guides me in a way above my basic instincts," and results in my experiencing peace, serenity, happiness, and (long-term) joy and prosperity in my life. My unchecked Ego, on the other hand, results in distress, distrust, anger, resentment, lust, greed, fantasies and envy to rule my mind. I end-up trying to control others and blaming them when things don't go my way, while denying my "true self" in the process. The end result is discomfort, discontent, bewilderment, unhappiness, and pain.

Every day, the choice is mine to pick what path I choose to follow. Will I run scared within the limits of unchecked self-absorbed desires, or will I work the program to the best of my ability, given present circumstances, and try to help other alcoholics in the process toward our mutual health and recovery? The latter is the course I choose for today.

Thanks for letting me share.

Good health and sobriety to you all!!

Sarah D., welcome! Keep coming back, AA works when I work the steps. One hour is a good start, and can continue to work for you too, if you want it, one day at a time!

Perry out!


Member: CEC  H
Location: CALGARY AB
Date: 3/6/00
Time: 2:48:44 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Cec and a member of A.A. To Sarah welcome and hang on to your hat, your in for the ride of your life [LOL]It was for me and still is. Joe glad you made it back, I,ve seen to many that haven't. And been on the edge myself once or twice. Thank GOD, for other AAers and a toughf old sponser. I have no clue about Live and Let Live.I can only tell you what I do about it, nothing the other person is GOD'S problem not mine.So I pray about it .I exspcialy like the IIth step pray. Take care all and I hope to be online with my own PC someday soon. Thank you for my sobrity and another 24 to all.


Member: David W.
Location: Iowa
Date: 3/6/00
Time: 3:25:23 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm David W. and I'm an alcoholic. When I was drinking the "Live and Let Live" idea was unkown to me. I lived life as if I was the world's critic and I took on resposibility for everything that happened in the world. It was an awsome burden and the pressure helped me justify my drinking. When I stopped drinking I realized that I did a pretty bad job of managing the world and in fact I was doing a lousy job of managing my own life. "Living" to me has come to be working the steps, seeking a spiritual balance and focusing on that part of the Serenity Prayer that speaks of changing the things that I can. I am leaving the rest to God. The "let live" part for me has been bowing out as the expert on everyone elses business and letting them live without my rigid, imperfect, critical controling that usually never helped much anyway and ended up burdening me with a weight I was never meant to carry. Carrying my own light load is much better. For me Live and Let Live embodies freedom. Freedom to recover. Thanks.


Member: Marlea C
Location: Seattle, WA
Date: 3/6/00
Time: 5:04:48 PM

Comments

Hi My name is Marlea and I am an alcoholic.

As has been mentioned before I did not know how to live until I found AA. In fact, it took me a couple of years into it until I really started enjoying my life or truly living. The let live part is harder yet for me. That alanon disease can really get in the way (which is why I work dual programs). Besides, it was trying to control another's drinking that got me sober, so I have a bit of a twisted perspective on that issue. At a lunch meeting today someone mentioned how other peoples drinking is not his issue. It is no longer a focus or a concern what other people choose to do regarding alcohol and how much they drink. Wow, inspiration. I still find myself judging others drinking as "out of control" when really it isn't my business. Now thanks to what this man had to say I know that it is possible to let go of that. Love to all, Marlea


Member: David M.
Location:
Date: 3/6/00
Time: 7:01:44 PM

Comments

Hello My name is David and I'm an alcoholic.

I am now in my 9th day of going without a drink. The live and let live issue is certainly a struggle for me considering my alcoholic nature is still strong within me. My mind seems to wonder in 500 different directions. Everything is a scam and I always feel as if no one is being truthful with me even though I know they probably are. I'm still in awe of the issue that no matter what, I will NEVER be able to drink normally again. I always enjoyed drinking and the atmosphere of it. I have numerous frineds that will always drink, most of them I suspect of having a problem themselves, but who am I to judge. I have come to the realization that I am powerless over alcahol. I just wish I didn't have to strain over what I have become and continuoulsy be a jerk to those I love. At least I'm sober enough right now to push my anger to the point that it does hurt other people in relation to their feelings, but I simply manage to to just tick them off a bit for a few minutes and I can also now see when I am wrong and I can apologize and admit fault. This aspect of me, has surprised my family a bit. But I have hurt my fiance verbally with words that would a hurd of elephants, and of course me being an impatient alcoholic, I can't figure out what is taking her so long to let the damge go. I understand that people don't heal overnight. I don't understand me yet, but God willing, I am looking forward to the day of being restored back to sanity. Thank you for letting me share.


Member: Nikki B.
Location: Poconos, PA
Date: 3/6/00
Time: 9:19:39 PM

Comments

Hi everyone, I'm Nikki and I'm an alcoholic. I needed to hear about Live and Let Live again at this point in my life.

When I was drinking I was not wanting to live, and that was a good way to make it happen. I first came into this program 4 years ago and was put here through the court system. I did what I had to do to get them off my back and then went back out and drank. Luckily they didn't let me live my life the way that I was living it, because after drinking briefly, I new where I belonged, and came right back.

I am learning daily how to live my life. Everyday is better then the day before. They say that we learn to handle situations which use to baffle us, then we get new situations. But life on lifes terms helps me get through these.

Now letting other people live is the hard part. This is where we end up with resentments and hurt feelings. I need to pray for these people and realize that they are the way they are suppose to be at this time and there is nothing that I am able to do to change that. In most cases, I am able to pick up and move away from these people. Sometimes we are only able to distance ourselves sightly from them, and we are unable to change the way that they are. We can only keep ourselves sane. I have worked hard on trying to let other people live their lives the way that they see fit, and as long as it does not harm myself or my daughter, I have no need to get involved. We need to do for ourselves as best that we are able. That means that every day we try to be better then the day before.

Thanks for letting me share.


Member: GREG G.
Location: K. WA
Date: 3/6/00
Time: 9:30:23 PM

Comments

GREAT TOPIC, GLAD THAT ALL OF YOU COULD SHARE.


Member: connien
Location: minnesota
Date: 3/6/00
Time: 9:39:50 PM

Comments

HI- I'm Connie, and I believe I'm an alcoholic....This is my first time here--- last Thursday was my official first AA meeting...II have a good friend, or actually a couple of good friends that are recovering. I think the toughest part about recovery has been "Live and let live" to be honest. I've been sober 10 days---I know, nothing compared to the most of you...but this is such hard work. Especially I think when you've not reached the bottom some people have.

Alcohol has been a consoling friend over the years and it alway made me feel better about life and about my participation in it. I was just to Mpls today---a big city in Minnnesota. I drove through the tough neighborhoods, went through three tough business meetings, and came home home really wondering.

Live.

And

Let Live....

I'm OK with allowing others to live their lives...My life isn't too bad except for me. I have a bad self esteem, and feel inconsequential. Traveling with arrogant coworkers doesn't go well. And pair that with the metal shops and plating shops I went through today...surely makes me wonder just what in the heck I've got to complain about. Ever see a Heat treating facility?

So anyway--live and let live. I adopted a littel boy named Daniel from Romania a year ago---the joy of my life. Aand yet the people in Romania have a good live, a life that people in the US feel would be unbearable. Maybe the people working in Mpls feel the same way. I feel bad for them having to work the way they do...and I feel guilty for me not loving my job and appreciating what I have as much as I should.

So the "let live" part is easy for me. The "Live" is not. That's tough.

Connie


Member: MATT
Location: OHIO
Date: 3/6/00
Time: 10:27:38 PM

Comments

hi there family im matt acholic addict i beleive live and let is very important i used to do neither through the program ive learned that i only have control of my own actions thoughts and feeling everyone is entitled to there own way of life weather it be mad glad or sad the only thing i can for myself is love people unconditionally as i choose to be loved i am so greatful for this program i read a sayingthat might help someone as it has me GOD DOZNT SHUT DOORS BUT HE DOES OPEN WINDOWS


Member: John
Location: Toronto,On
Date: 3/6/00
Time: 11:01:53 PM

Comments

Hi,I am an alcoholic and my name is John.I have been sober for a few years now."Live and let live" is a good topic.Today I try to live my life the best way I can "One Day at a Time", I try to treat each person I meet or speak to with respect and understanding.I also expect to be given the same courtesy,it always doesn't work that way.This might sound naive but I sometimes wonder what the hell is wrong with people today.I believe that I have a new lease on life and a program to use every day,that is the difference ,I work a program and many others don't have a clue.Sometimes its hard for me to let live and accept others,all I can do is to stay as positive as possible.Just for today I will keep my side of the street clear and I will also pray for others that they may find peace.What a new FREEDOM I have found and hope to keep.Thanks for letting me share.


Member: DANNY P
Location: LA
Date: 3/7/00
Time: 12:31:08 AM

Comments

Live and Let Live! To live for me is to stay sober. Let Live is what my Higher Power has allowed me to do. When I look back at all the stupid things that I did and the crazy places and positions I allowed myself to get caught up in because of my using, It makes me wonder why I am still here. It is because God has let me live. Thanks to this my Higher Power and this program I have been given a chance to live again,(sober). God Bless!


Member: Arlene C
Location: Northeast Washington
Date: 3/7/00
Time: 12:50:21 AM

Comments

My name is Arlene, and I am an alocholic. Such a good topic this week. Live and Let live is and has always been hard for me even though I know with out a doubt, that I don't know what is good for me. If this is true, then how can I think I could I know what is good for someone else. It has been well over two decades since my last drink, and still I have to practice, practice , pratice these principles in all my afairs. If I had to do it perfectly, I would have given up a long time ago. I do know that it is a lot better than it used to be. I have read some really good things from you and thank you all. For the new comers. Give this fellowship a chance, it will be the best thing you've ever done for yourself, and will touch everyone around you. Love to all.


Member: Cindy L
Location: Northeastern Oregon
Date: 3/7/00
Time: 2:43:36 AM

Comments

Hi, My name is Cindy and I am an alcoholic. I have 10 years, 11 months 17 days of sobriety, one day at a time. Live and let live is one of the cornerstones of my disease, when I do it, I feel like I glow, and the world is a beautiful place.When I don't do it, I get caught up in the quagmire, and dragged down, sometimes to the point of almost wanting that first drink, until I remember all I have to do is live. There is a God and I'm not it!!!! I don't have to run the universe, I don't even have the power to run my own life, that's why I'm here. Live and let live,.. no blame, no shame, no guilt, just live, and let live, stay powerless, and grateful. Live! Thank You AA members everywhere for being a higher power in my life, I've been enjoying living really alot now that I'm sober! Cindy L


Member: JACK B
Location: Cumbola PA
Date: 3/7/00
Time: 2:50:16 AM

Comments

Hi I am Jack a real alcoholic.When I think of live and let live, I am reminded what our anniversary coin says.To thy ownself be true.If I am living the program, I shouldn't have any time to take someone else's inventory and have the time to worry about what the next person is doing.Of course if ignorance was bliss then I would be a saint.Keeping the focus on myself was hard, is hard , and probably always will be hard. Thru the twelve steps of AA, I am not the person I once was and on a daily basis I am becoming a little more comfortable with just focusing on me and not everyone else.This is a program of spiritual progress, not perfection.I have been sober thru the Grace of God and the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous going on thirteen years, and it sure doesn't happen overnight. Thanks for another great topic God Bless All


Member: Chuck M
Location: Alberta
Date: 3/7/00
Time: 2:56:41 AM

Comments

Chuck, an alcoholic. Live and Let Live. By practicing step 11 every day I live. By practicing step 11 every day I let others live. The longer I am in this program the simpler it becomes. One answer seems to answer all my questions in this life. Peace and serenity to all.


Member: Dry in the Desert
Location: Nevada
Date: 3/7/00
Time: 8:37:10 AM

Comments

Good Morning Everyone...My name is Walter and I am an alcoholic...

Welcome to all the newcomers and thank you for sharing your wisdom....it is said that the life blood of this program is the newcomer and that is what I hear this morning....Thanks in particular to David M. with nine days; for pure honest sharing of the feelings and emotions of early sobriety. Hang in there David...what you are going through is normal....wonderful miracles are headed your way!! Please pick up the phone, attend "live" meetings and get a sponser!!!

Thank You for the topic....I was suffering from a bad cause of "poor pitiful me" this morning from the "broken shoelace syndrome". I realize that I must let others be themselves. My resentments only hurt me and those close to me and most of all, I will not be free to enjoy the beautful life of Sobriety God has given me.

Thanks all for being there for me.


Member: Dave
Location: Phoenix
Date: 3/7/00
Time: 9:12:59 AM

Comments

Hello everyone,

I'm 7 days sober and counting. Over the years, I've attended several "live" meetings but could never relate to the AA format. For whatever reason, I always felt like I was in some zealous religious organization. Perhaps it was an oversensitivity on my part, but it was a barrier to big to get past. The cyber meeting is a step I can take right now....(at least it's a step). Has anyone had a similar experience? (Even tho it's a bit "off-topic").


Member: Bonnie M.
Location: New Hampshire
Date: 3/7/00
Time: 11:41:58 AM

Comments

One of the valuable lessons I have learned about Live and Let Live is that I do not always have to remain in a situation unacceptable and unbearable to me. We all have choices and everyone can live as they like that does not mean that I need to be a part of it. Thanks!


Member: Nanette G
Location: On a Lake in Ohio
Date: 3/7/00
Time: 5:21:46 PM

Comments

Nanette here.. alcoholic.. I really liked Cindy L's comment.. There is a God .. I'm not it.. Boy did have I to remind myself of that today.. trying to deal with a sister who is also in recovery.. I want to tell her what she is doing wrong.. and she wants to tell me what I'm doing wrong..well thank you Cindy.. there is a God .. I'm not it..


Member: Joe Oil
Location: Galway City - Ireland
Date: 3/7/00
Time: 6:02:22 PM

Comments

I'm Joe Oil and I'm an Alcoholic. 20 years sober 5th June 2000. I am planning my trip to the world convention in Minneapolis and this is a miracle for me. Thanks to A.A. and my Higher Power. Hope to meet all my friends there.


Member: GREG G
Location: KENNEWICK, WA
Date: 3/7/00
Time: 7:19:07 PM

Comments


Member: Louie g.
Location: L.I. N.Y.
Date: 3/7/00
Time: 9:33:43 PM

Comments

Hello my name is louie and i'm a cross addicted alcoholic, live and let live is one slogan i find myself using very often.you see i'm acarpenter inn.y.,n.y. and ideal with people who drink and use the same way i used to, and it's not so much the temptation to partake, as it is the want to tellthem that there is a better way of life. Practically everyone i work with knows i'm in recovery and normally will be respectful enough to not partake in my presence ,but i think any of us in recovery will agree, once you've been there it's usually obvious, who else has been or is. Anywho, what i think i'm getting at is; Pg.449 in the BIG BOOK(acceptance) says all that i need to know. And if that doesn't work maybe a thousand Serenity Prayers will do the trick. Thank you all very much for helping me to stay sober, one more day...


Member: Craig R
Location: Gabriola iland british columbia
Date: 3/7/00
Time: 10:16:12 PM

Comments

live and let live words to "live" by, i just found the site and its nice to see so many new to the program in here . I found at the begining of my sobriety live and let live to be one of the hardest to do, it's easy to be critical of others it makes my own guilt easier to handle. So what I did was worked real hard on the live part. IT wasnt long till the let live part came in on it's own. Remember were not in a race, you have the the rest of your life, there are no graduates only gratefull members.


Member: Lynn S
Location: OR
Date: 3/7/00
Time: 10:54:36 PM

Comments

I'm Lynn and alcoholic. I was taught this by my sponsor, who said, "consider how hard it is to try to change yourself before you start trying to change other people." And I learned in Al-Anon why I had trouble keeping secrets and had so much intolerance toward other people. It all boiled down to me, myself and I-and that I couldn't mind my own business. I felt the need to "correct" others. When I gave that up-it got a lot better-not that I get gold stars on my chart-but-God has shown me that I didn't cause other people's problems, and I can't control others and I don't have the power to cure them. So-that relieved me of a lot!


Member: Peter H.
Location: Taipei
Date: 3/8/00
Time: 8:14:57 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Peter and I'm an alcoholic. I've been having problems with "Live and Let Live" because I have been the object of some unfair accusations lately. They have caused me to become very defensive and act in alcoholic ways. I need only to remember to pray for my detractors instead of lashing out. I am grateful to be sober coming up on ninety days on March 10.


Member: Mary L.
Location: Cheektowaga, NY
Date: 3/8/00
Time: 9:31:28 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Mary, alcoholic, Live and let live is something I have to remind myself about on a daily basis. If I don't, and start whining about others not behaving as I would have them behave, someone in the fellowship will let me know about my stinkin thinkin. Stinkin thinkin leads to stinkin drinkin. I've gone that route before! I have no choice if I want sobriety and serenity. The alternative is not pleasant. Thank God for the fellowship, my sponsor, and most of all, my Higher Power!


Member: Dayle  S
Location: Van. Can.
Date: 3/8/00
Time: 11:54:48 AM

Comments

Hi,my name is Dayle and i'm an alcoholic.Live and let live,took me along time and a lot of pain to learn, today i have to live with this as a first in my life,if i don't i start to judge others and think i know something and take great pleasure in telling others how to live and what is good for them.Most days i have no idea what iam to do or what is good for me,and if i forget this little bit of advice i am in trouble.A couple of the things i remember my sponsor telling me is Dayle "A closed mouth never gathers feet,and a BUTT is to sit on".simple but very hard to hear.I am very thankfull to A.A.for teaching me simple is were i find my freedom,and for all the newcomers that show me it hasn't changed out there ,thankyou........Dayle


Member: Bob  H.
Location: Triangle Club South Bend In.
Date: 3/8/00
Time: 12:30:22 PM

Comments

Hi everyone Bob here alcoholic;Sober through the grace of God AA 12 steps and my effort to use them in my life and not lose them .Live and let live I like to think i do all the time however we know that s not so .Only with Gods help meetings and you people and awareness i"m given at times am i able to do it at all.I do know that with pain theirs gain for me in recoveery.I don"t like Pain however when I feel pain it tells me not usualy liveing and letting live to others .And ask myself a couple a ? Who am I ,What am I , and what am I doing ?God help me and I always feel better and others begin to appear to me to be ok. thanksfor letting me share


Member: MaryJ
Location: Seattle
Date: 3/8/00
Time: 1:32:31 PM

Comments

Hi,

I'm Mary and an alcoholic. Thanks for all of the previous comments. I especially enjoyed Vicki C'c and many others comments about live and let live. I guess resentments were one of my major problems when I was drinking. I resented people getting recognition I felt they didn't deserve, etc., etc.

I had to let go and stop all this resentment stuff because it doesn't affect the other people only me.

Likewise, let live. I also have a tendency to be judgemental, so this is a big one for me to put my arms around and keep a hold of.

Thanks to everyone who shares. I always enjoy the comments.


Member: Chris H.
Location: Florida
Date: 3/8/00
Time: 5:41:38 PM

Comments

Hi all.Chris h. here-alcoholic/addict/bulimic--Good to be here this week--Welcome to all the newcomers--I love hearing ffrom the newcomers because as someone said,it is the backbone of this program--Please keep coming back ==we need you!!And this program will save your life--it has saved mine.

Live and let live has always been a hard one for me,but an important one. What I have had to learn is to quit trying to change the other person, but at the same time speak out when I have been abused. That is a very hard one for me because in my family you never said a thing about how you were treated--It was all hush , hush. So now I am trying to learn how to speak-up without judging the other person or trying to change them. That is the hard part. When I have spoken out in the past I have accused and judged. But ow I am trying a different approach---or I should say, I am planning a different approach. I have not had the courage to really speak my mind...As a result of this, I am becoming depressed...a dangerous place for me to be. Stuffing my feelings doesn't work for me anymore---it just makes me sick...So I have got to find a way to speak the truth in love. I am so greatful to you guys for being here, and having a listening ear. I really needed this today. THANKS!!!


Member: brent
Location: alberta
Date: 3/8/00
Time: 6:59:13 PM

Comments

brent here just came to admit i have a drinking problem to myself 2 days ago. 1 day too late for a fantastic woman i was with for 7 years. live and let live is what i am going to have to follow in order for the two of us to go on. i wish her all the best, and i will be back to talk to all of us in the same position.


Member: Anjali B
Location: Cincinnati
Date: 3/8/00
Time: 8:21:09 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Anjali. I'm an alcoholic. First post here, but visited often. Great topic for me today. Just finally put the kids to bed after a day of being way too snappish and impatient with them. Sometimes it's hard to remember that "LALL" applies even to those little people we're responsible for. I find it very difficult to remember I must act responsibly in raising them, without necessarily assuming responsibility for how they respond. I get frustrated and take their behavior way too personally. I know there are some selfishness issues there - came up on inventories before but it's been over a year since I wrote inventory and we are certainly quick forgetters! In my life as a stay-home mom of 3 kids under school age, it's absolutely vital for me to keep "self" out of my parenting as much as possible, which is impossible without God's grace. Stubborn that I am though, it takes every ounce of self-discipline (and more grace just for that!) just to say a prayer every morning asking God to direct my day. But if I say that prayer and MEAN IT, God keeps me humble enough to let my kids be kids. Otherwise, I'm all bossy and demanding, expecting them to do everything just to make my life easier. Ironically, when I came back into this program (slipped after 9 years sober in and around AA) one of my biggest motivations was fear that I would abuse my kids if I kept drinking. Now when I go to long without a meeting (Face to Face), I turn into almost the same person I was drinking. I've been sober (again) for 25 months now, and making "time" for AA is WAY harder than it was when I was single and childless the first time around. Thank you all for reminding me I won't get to keep, let alone enjoy, all this good life unless I make recovery (THE STEPS) a major priority. To Dave in Phoenix: many of us have felt uncomfortable and out-of-place at our first live AA meetings. I was the only Asian in AA for years in the smallish town where I got sober, along with a bunch of other "unique" stuff. Finally realized that I just could not stay sober and live without AA, and then that other stuff didn't seem to matter som much. It takes what it takes to get us vulnerable enought to ask for help from REAL LIVE PEOPLE (some of whom we don't even like), but that vulnerability in my experience is the only way to learn all the necessary living and sobriety stuff that I could never ever figure out on my own. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 3/8/00
Time: 8:56:26 PM

Comments

Hi! My name is Michael, and I am recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome to the newcomers! And thanks everyone for sharing!

"Live and Let Live" is a powerful pronouncement that, I think, is essential for AA unity. In fact, it seeems to me that it's a belief that would be beneficial for unity in virtually any social or cultural context.

I try to follow the "Live and Let Live" suggestion as often as I can, but especially so in AA, where unity is vital to our sobriety. While I've met a small percentage of AA's who don't subscribe to this philosophy as dutifully as they should in AA halls, I find it more challenging to "Live and Let Live" outside AA halls.

Like almost everything else, "Live and Let Live" doesn't always apply. We must, on occasion, defend ourselves against those who are opposed to the "Live and Let Live" philosophy. Thank God that's not often the case in AA halls!


Member: robin P
Location: la pine OR
Date: 3/8/00
Time: 9:49:21 PM

Comments

Hi Im Robin a real alcoholic and drug fiend, learning to live and let live. I am a controll freak too, and of course Im most uncomfortable when others aren't minding. After 14 1/2 years of sober living in this fellowship of AA, ther is still exciting areas of improvement to be made. The steps and a HP have helped to make me into a wonderful person, flawed but still growing. Glad to be a meeting of AA and clean and sober today. thanx for your thoughtful ness and input. oxR


Member: Tony O.
Location: LA
Date: 3/9/00
Time: 2:07:36 AM

Comments

Sarah D. Congratulations. The first hour and the first step are the most important. My prayers go out to you. I have been sober for over ten years. I promise you, it does get better. Welcome.


Member: Willi
Location: back woods Georgia
Date: 3/9/00
Time: 12:39:58 PM

Comments

Hello All, This is a very good topic- undoubtably the one I ned for today as well! I thought it wasn't a Good Day- I am Indian- so when i came to the meeting i intended to say so and just "why" of course. Instead I found that I am not letting it be a Good Day- Me!! it has been exactly about "live and let live" and "principals over personalities". When I forget that those phrases pertain to ALL in life for me and not just other A.A.'s it's like a crushing blow that says, "Wake up!". So coming to this meeting has been great- I feel better- it is a Good Day! one in which I can remember once again that I am not in charge of anyone except myself and when I get that perfect- then i might know better- a Good Day from a Bad Day- may that never ever happen- it's more fun and enriching being an imperfect one who still has a lot to learn and a lot to relearn! Thank you for letting me go back and get up on the right side of the bed today. thank you for always being here for me! Aho!


Member: GREG G
Location: KENNEWICK, WA
Date: 3/9/00
Time: 8:12:48 PM

Comments


Member: jenifer d
Location: england swings
Date: 3/10/00
Time: 1:16:41 AM

Comments

I think 'live and let live' can work two ways. While live and let live certainly sounds the right thing to do I remember a family member saying " if only I had intervened sooner". They were sorry that they had stood by so long and watched me go to hell. I was sorry that they had to feel in any way responsible for my actions at the time. But, looking back, I wish that they hadn't practised 'live and let live' for so long in my case. And if I see anyone heading down the same path as I went, I won't stand by and practise 'live and let live.'


Member: Paul M
Location: California
Date: 3/10/00
Time: 2:31:27 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Paul and I'm an alcoholic. This is my first time here although I've been sober for a little over three years. It's good to see all the new comers and I hope that they keep backing to here and to live meetings. For me, meetings are key to maintaining a consistent 12 step program.

I'm finally learning to remember that it is hard enough to run my life and that I don't need to spend additional time and energy working on someone else's life. My ego wants me to control everything; this program helps me to learn to focus on the 12 steps. By working on my 12 steps and by not taking everyone else's inventory, I can find peace and happiness.

I keep remembering at one meeting, "My mind is a very dangerous place. I should never go there alone.

Thanks for letting me share


Member: Dean S
Location: Phoenix, Az
Date: 3/10/00
Time: 11:22:42 AM

Comments

Hi! I'm Dean & I'm an alcoholic.

I agree with you, Jennifer. I believe that I am obligated to live my life in a way that will benefit God's other children. That is why I was born in the first place. I also believe that I am to allow others to live their lives as they see fit, unless thay are obviously on a track to self destruction. Then it is my duty to offer, or at least be available to pick up the pieces, if they ever decide to attempt a different course. Intervention has been a lifesaver for many.

I try to get along with all, but of course that's not possible, so instead of building resentments, I let them go their way and I go mine. Not at all easy sometimes, especially with family, but I try.

Anyone having trouble with Live and let Live may want to consider an Alanon meeting. Thanks for allowing me to share.

Thanks for your love. Thanks for my life. Dean


Member: Steven L
Location: Redlands, CA
Date: 3/10/00
Time: 11:47:10 AM

Comments

Live and Let Live, what a concept! I have painfully learned--through a good sponsor--that when I am focusing on what is unacceptable to me about others' I am all too often just not willing to confront that very self same defect in me. Whenever I go to my sponsor about he, she, them, my boss etc... He first words are generally, "What are you avoiding about yourself?" I have found through the introspective process that taking my inventory that I have no control over anything outside my head. Therefor I'm not qualified to judge any one else--Thats' Gods' job and when I try to play God I can wind up in a bottle!!! Be Well...


Member: tina s.
Location: california
Date: 3/10/00
Time: 1:58:42 PM

Comments

hi! i'm tina and i am an alcoholic. i want to welcome the newcomers. i really enjoyed this topic and what everyone had to share.

acceptance is one key in helping me "live and let live". i need to accept people for who they are and allow God to do his handy work on others. when i get into not accepting people,situations, and things, my head starts to spin. i can't afford to take inventories and complain about people. i lose my serenity. serenity is a very important part of my sobriety. i can't afford to hang on to resentments and fears also.

i am so grateful for the 12 steps and the fellowship. i can continue to grow emotionally and spiritually. as long as i continue to be willing and know that i didn't graduate from the program, i will continue to stay sober one day at a time. i will be celebrating 8 yrs. on the 21st of this month. it's by the Grace of God. thank you for letting me share.


Member: anonomous
Location:
Date: 3/10/00
Time: 5:39:48 PM

Comments

"Live and let live,..." a better term is die and let live, or live and let die. Come out from them," saith the Lord. There is such a thing as "other men's matters" which only those who have, come out from them have to do. For inasmuch as you are still amongest them, you are yet one of them. Trick is, not to be one of them. If you are, on the other hand still one of them, then what they are about pertains to you, which involves you. Better not to be named among them, for such are the children of God. "Love not the world, nor the things of the world, but rather, be ye seperate.


Member: Fran K
Location:
Date: 3/10/00
Time: 11:14:10 PM

Comments

HI, I am Fran, alcoholic. Live and let live is an excellent topic. It was and is very freeing for me to be able to just "live" and let the other guy "live" ,too. Not necessarily according to the dictates of Fran. Letting live for me means acceptance of others just as they are. It does NOT have to be MY way or the HIGHWAY. LIVE...bottom line for me...is "to thine own self be true".

When I am not judging or criticizing others...and allowing others to be precisely who they are. I feel freedom.

Thank-you. This is my first time in participating in any on-line A.A. :)


Member: Alvin R
Location: New Mexico
Date: 3/11/00
Time: 12:41:37 AM

Comments

Alvin R here, alcoholic to this day. By the grace of a loving God and AA I havent had to drink in quite a few 24 hours. Certainly not today. Live and Let live...the alternative is Live and Let Die, and guess who dies....????

love to all, hang in there, don't be discouraged, pain too shall pass, good days are on the horizon no matter what, no wife, no job , no nothing i won't take a drink today.


Member: Michelle G.
Location: MN
Date: 3/11/00
Time: 1:39:51 AM

Comments

Live and let live. It's a matter of those three fingers pointing back at you when your blaming some one. It has more to do with you than them. So if you can't or I can't live and let live, what does that say about me? Where am I stopped? Who do I need to forgive or love? Yes we all know intellectually that everyone has the right to be in their own space. But, it takes more than your brain to let that happen. The only way to empower yourself and those in your life is to be accountable and make them accountable. We all have the right to express our anger, frustration and fear. And with that right comes the responsibility of owning our contribution to it. Not blaming. Live and let live. Sounds like forgiveness to me.


Member: Jean-Christophe H.
Location: (Lille-France)
Date: 3/11/00
Time: 7:54:19 AM

Comments

Hi Duane, to live and let live we should be able to let us live ourselves first and that we cannot do that's why we try hard to destroy our lives, our loved ones ... I know that (that's about all I know about myself) because everytime I am in a position to be happy I try real hard to mess up and very often I succeed ...

UNMILLION@aol.com


Member: A FRIEND
Location: HERE
Date: 3/11/00
Time: 9:34:51 AM

Comments

To Dave and anyone else out there - come visit us at The Coffee Pot. Scroll down - you'll see it.


Member: Bob C.
Location: Chicago
Date: 3/11/00
Time: 12:04:25 PM

Comments

Hello family, My name is Bob and I'm an alcoholic. I've recently moved out of a 1/2way house living situation after 10 months. I'm thankful to God & AA for showing me how to live again. I've had a fantastic week back at home.


Member: Bob C.
Location: Chicago
Date: 3/11/00
Time: 12:04:48 PM

Comments

Hello family, My name is Bob and I'm an alcoholic. I've recently moved out of a 1/2way house living situation after 10 months. I'm thankful to God & AA for showing me how to live again. I've had a fantastic week back at home.


Member: Bruce N
Location: Houston TX
Date: 3/11/00
Time: 7:26:09 PM

Comments

Hi,I'm Bruce...alcoholic Wonderful topic because I'm the type of person who can believe that what I have experienced is exactly what you need to experience to get where I am or what I've got. Considering all the people who I have been aquainted with in my life who have watched me live, asked my advice, and used me as an example, that would be a pretty scarry concept if it was no longer important for me to live to the best of my abilites by Gods principles and not my own code of ethics. I am grateful to my two grown kids who continue to remind me that God is in control and that they are perfect just the way they are, flawed and in God's hands (just like me). After 17 years of living these steps I realize now that "you" are just as perfect as my kids and just as perfect as me and that God truley has no "Grandchildren". Thank you Lord for your grace and mercy and for giving me another chance to "Live and Let Live"


Member: Marianne C.
Location: Vero Beach, Fl
Date: 3/11/00
Time: 7:43:17 PM

Comments

H'm Marianne, and I am an alcoholic. I was reading some of this discussion when it was time to go to my local AA meeting. When I got there, I foudn the topic was acceptance and tolerance, it was related to Live and Let Live. Figuring that God was trying to tell me something, I listened well. I heard several people say that when there is conflict, that is something wrong with them. I looked at the resentments I had had during the week, and low and behold, I found that all three were related to my powerlessness over people, places and things, and that rather than letting go and letting God, I was trying to MAKE a solution to the problem. Now instead I can turn the problems over to my HP. Thanks all.


Member: Marlene T.
Location: New Orleans
Date: 3/11/00
Time: 11:27:04 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Marlene from New Orleans and new to online meetings, infact, this is my first attempt. Love the topic. God willing, I will have 13 years sober on March 19 - 8 days and counting. The topic - Live and let live - I find that if I keep my nose out of other peoples business and stop trying to control the people I love, that my life is much less worrisome. I need to live my life and let others live theirs. It works for me. love ya'll Miss Marlene


Member: Connie G.
Location: New Orleans
Date: 3/12/00
Time: 12:09:49 AM

Comments

Hello, My name is Connie & am an alcololic. My sponsor, Miss Marlene, is insisting I contribute. I have no serenity right now, due to the fact that my former sponsor visited me last night after abandoning me last April 6th for her world tour. She was pretentious and condescending last night, nauseatingly so, I wish she had kept her distance. So, I will keep coming back 'til I get what ya'll have. Thanks for letting me share


Member: Duane M.
Location: Central N.Y.
Date: 3/12/00
Time: 1:26:47 AM

Comments

good morning family,my name is Duane and I am a real alcoholic.I just want to thank everyone who shared their ES&H with me.God bless


Member: John
Location: The Rocky Mountains
Date: 3/12/00
Time: 2:25:41 AM

Comments

Hi,

My name is John and I'm like a man who's lost his legs.

Just checking in to remind myself of the fact that I'm sober.


Member: Lynda C.
Location: Buffalo
Date: 3/12/00
Time: 9:21:52 AM

Comments

I agree with Jean-Claude. Accept it or change it. Or should I say change you. I'm Lynda,alcoholic and feeling great! I'm responsible formy behavior and my actions only. If I don't like something, I don't do it...someone,don't hang around them...someplace,don't go. My sobriety comes first. Keep it simple. Thanks.


Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 3/12/00
Time: 10:14:15 AM

Comments

through prayer and meditation my life has changed for the better.going to aa helps me realize things i should work on .some people in the meetings i go to talk of how they keep relapsing ,i can't keep them from doing that.i have brother's and sisters who live a little ..reckless,i can't stop them.i can only live and live. if they want to use me as some sort of example,they can,but i can't make them do that either.but certain behaviors will get certain results over time....thanks for a great week of posts


Member: Shelli S.
Location: Northern CA
Date: 3/12/00
Time: 1:20:39 PM

Comments

Hello my name is Shelli and I am a recovering alcholic of 13 years I am very new to the net so please excuse any errors I am a quick study and like to think of myself as a newcomer as much as possable so I do tend to maintain a since of humility because I seldom really know what I'm doing :-) Live and let live means to me that life is full of change and one mans gold is anothers garbage or vice-a-versa as the case may be. Everyone learns through mistakes and we all have a right to our own, so it is best not to judge the lives of others because what they do might just get me drunk or loaded I'm also a recovering addict of 4.5 years and I learned the hard way to not always go with the flow in recovery. I am also a cancer survivor and in two weeks will be starting a treatment that could be life threatening and for all I know I may only have 2 weeks to live if the Dr. blows it or I react to the medication. But to day I can truely say I am clean and sober and living my life the way I choose I also train dogs and will be graduating a class todays and the joy that give me is undefineable. We all must live our own live in our own way to the best of our ability. thats all from me today. Thanks for being there I needed that topic today. SS


Member: Iona O
Location: Northern CA
Date: 3/12/00
Time: 2:28:54 PM

Comments

Hi! Iona here. I am an alcoholic. I've been sober now for 24 hours. I woke up yesterday with the worst headache of my life. Or was it really worse than the one I had last week? I have been "living" with this problem and rationalizing away it's existance for so long that I hardly feel that I have lived. Letting others live is also a huge problem. The need to control the people I love, the environment in which I live has been taken to an extreme, as my husband and I conveniently work from home. It doesn't matter now If My eyes are a little "puffy" the next day because now I telecommute. I can see clearly how I have orchestrated my life around a SERIOUS problem. I don't have to hit rock bottom to see that. I know it won't be easy, but it is time to live and let live and talk about the Pink elephant in the room. It means so much to hear that there are so many people have faced the same truth. Best of luck to all of you.


Member: George M
Location: USA
Date: 3/12/00
Time: 2:59:50 PM

Comments

George M., Alcoholic; The topic, Live and let live is self-explanatory, but hard for folks like me who sometimes get over-controlling. First Electronic meeting; just got Web-TV.


Member: Jennie
Location: Australia
Date: 3/12/00
Time: 3:06:17 PM

Comments

Hi, Jennie Alcoholic here. {{Shelli}} good luck with your treatment. {{Iona}} Well done on your 24 hang in there, it gets better!! Prayers to all. God Bless.


Member: jim g
Location: georgia
Date: 3/12/00
Time: 4:33:07 PM

Comments

hi group im jim and i am an alcoholic, been sober for 5 mos. i go t meetings and try to learn. the hard thing for me to learn is to live sober and let others live. i am a controling kind of person, but aa and the steps will help me with this. i love aa and the people in it. to me they are the best people in the world, because of all the crap they have been through and came out alive. thanks for letting me share would love to talk anyone about aa, the program, or any alcoholrelated issue please e-mail me at bulldawgga@yahoo.com thanks jim


Member: Vickie C.
Location: Kennewick wa.
Date: 3/12/00
Time: 9:52:51 PM

Comments

Hi I am Vickie alcoholic addict When I first came into AA I rcognized that I had a problem with honesty although I prided myself in being honest with others i was not honest with myself about who I really wasw and what I was really doing and how that was affecting those that I loved With 9 years now of recovery I find i am still battling the same demons. These demons just changed there face a little and I once again fell under the illusions of their control. I have not been allowing myself true emotional reactions to circumstances when I feel angry or resentful or hurt or self pity I have been saying or those are wrong feelings and I can't have those and surpressing them to the point I am now depressed and feeling out of control. I hit a pretty good bottom yesterday and the reality of what I have been doing wrong revealed itself I thought i was doing what was right by not allowing myself these feelings. Wrong Way I should have been putting these things where they belonged instead of stuffing them I should have been turning them over to God for him to do his stuff on. He can take just about everything and turn it to something good if I allow him to. We suffer from a spiritual malady lack of power Man what power we throw away each time we try to control manipulate or suppress the issues of our life instead of surrendering to God what is His to begin with. I probably talked to long but I needed to share that I remembered where i should have been There is a God and I am not Him.