Member: Carol C.
Location: New Jersey
Date: 3/25/01
Time: 9:05:49 AM
Good Morning Everyone. I am Carol Alcoholic. I was sitting home reading my meditation books and what kept popping out at me was Surender. Letting go of worry. I've had alot of worries lately and I need to surender big time. Everything always works out for the best because I am not the one in charge. Worrying about an outcome only makes me anxious. If I let go and let God and accept where I am at as in the past, things alway work out for the best. Have a great week!
Member: Mary
Location: CT
Date: 3/25/01
Time: 10:21:55 AM
Wow I rarely am home on sundays to post so early in the week! Carol, great topic, thanks.
For me, surrendering completely is always hard. But lately I've been trying to give my worries to God to handle. Because if I keep them to myself, worry only turns into stress, which leads to the desire to drink. And that certainly doesn't help the situation I was worrying about in the first place! We often tend to worry about things we have little control over. So if I find myself starting to worry about something, I try to pray asap, and that usually helps me feel better and more able to move on to what I CAN change.
Member: Donnie M(dos3-1-99)
Location: W.Va.
Date: 3/25/01
Time: 11:14:26 AM
Hi,all I`m Donnie an I`m a Alcoholic.Great topic Carol, for me had to surrender to almost everything in my life that had to do with alcohol. I learnt early that the biggest change was to quit drinking,and I took this hard, becauce it was such a part of my life for so many year`s that it was just hard to get that I was never going to drink again. The next thing was to remove all the people (MY SO CALLED FRIEND`S) out of my life. Which end up being pretty easy once I got honest with myself and the A.A. program they just seemed to quit coming around.Then there was the place`s which for me consisted of all the liqour store`s in the area, becauce I never really liked bar`s that much.I was never a smoker and would spend way to much money. I would get my case or two of beer and drive around town to me was miricle that I never had a D.U.I. or anything, and in this town is very odd thing.I started working the 12 step`s into my life, and I just started asking GOD for his help and it just get`s easier everyday. I`ve had my share of bad day`s, but I`ve came to find that one bad day can wipe out a whole lot of good ones,so I work the 1st. three step`s daily and the rest just seem to happen.I finish with if it was not for A.A. I would not see another day! Thank`s for listening,and GOD BLESS ALL WHO TRY.
Member: Tony
Location: Chi_town
Date: 3/25/01
Time: 11:26:47 AM
HI !! Tony alcoholic,fantastic topic ,surrender and win !!! That's what my sponsor always said.To surrender my life to my HP and having acceptence in my life has given me great pleasures in today. My sponsor said you do your 10% and HP will do the rest ,don't complicate things keep it simple !!! God bless I'll keep coming back !!!
Member: Jeff
Location: Northern CA
Date: 3/25/01
Time: 11:48:15 AM
Hi my name is Jeff and I am an alcoholic. Thanks for the topic- Surrender and letting go of worry.
I am a worrier, I have never thought I had a problem and been wrong. I tend to grab on to something that seems to be a problem and run with it. I take worry to the extreme and might as well call it fear by the time my brain has held on to it for a while.
The only constructive tools I have for worry are gifts from AA:
I try to live a day at a time... nothing that bad is usually going to happen today. What can I do about it?....If I can do something now I give it a shot, if not, i try to focus on something else. Prayer....an action that seems simple that I forget often. Trust a power greater than myself (God for me)...I am not that important to really go through what my mind does to me sometimes...Rule 64....He will find a way for me to be comfortable and sober and happy if I let Him and just do my job in and out of AA.
Thanks to everyone for being here.
Member: Jenn
Location: P.
Date: 3/25/01
Time: 12:03:11 PM
If you worry, why pray? If you pray , why worry? Worry does not allow my Higher Power to work in my life. If I pray, say I am giving it to God, and then keep fretting and fuming aove rit, He can't handle it for me. This is not easy, but I really try to do it this way one day at a time. I find I take it back and have to give it again, then get busy doing something else to get my mind off it. Ther is nothing that is going to happen to me today that My Higher Power can't handle. I have an awesome Higher Power. I need to Keep It Simple. Like Dr. Bob said: "Trust God, Clean House, Help Others". Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Mike M
Location: So Calif
Date: 3/25/01
Time: 12:38:05 PM
Hi my name is Mike and I,m an alcoholic. My Wife is about to have our third baby. She just decided to message her own feet and now were concidering going to the hospital ...hmmm. Well anyways Im 13 years sober and Im happy about it. I think I need to go now....God Bless you and all of yours. Mike McC
Member: Lori S
Location: NJ
Date: 3/25/01
Time: 1:13:48 PM
Thanks Carol, I really needed to hear that. My controlling ways are keeping me from enjoying my really terrific life. You know the serenity pray says it all, I just don't possess the wisdom to know right now, so I must let it go! Otherwise I will miss out on some of the more incredible moments of my lifetime. Now my mind knows this and I intelluctual understand it, so why do I keep repeating the same damn mistake! Its so easy to speak the truth and know it inside and out, and quite another to walk it. I want to really feel this to once again have the freedom to let go without question or fear. I guess I just answered my own question (I want it, I need to know it).
Member: VINNIE V
Location: NEW ENGLAND
Date: 3/25/01
Time: 2:30:15 PM
Hi, I tried thinking about what was different the times a tried to surrender when it did not work feom the times it did.I think the biggest difference is believing it will work.The best way I can do that is focussing on all the times it has worked in my life.All the times I've gotten thru what seemed impossible problems with little or no effort. the times that went smoothly were always the times I surrendered the problem to my Higher Power.The other times I did a lot of unnessacery worry and stress. So taking time out to remember that it really works gives me faith that it will work again.
Member: GerryMac
Location: Daytona, Florida
Date: 3/25/01
Time: 4:28:52 PM
Hey everybody, Gerry here from sunny Florida. Great topic; Surrender to win: who would have thunk it work but it does. When I give all of my problems to my Higher Power everything comes out just the way it should. I usually learn from the experience either humility or forgiveness or I,m just knocked down from my high horse, the one we all get up on sometimes...This program is a learning experience.how to live one day at a time with out picking up a drink. Becoming usful members of socity is the end goal, at least it is for this drunk...it is good to be sober. thanks for being here.............Gerry
Member: KERRY F.
Location: OXFORD,PA
Date: 3/25/01
Time: 5:01:25 PM
HELLO, MY NAME IS KERRY AND I AM ALSO AN ALCOHOLIC. IT HAS BEEN SOME TIME SINCE I HAVE POSTED ANYTHING ON THIS SIGHT (ABOUT A YEAR OR SO)AND ALOT OF EXCITING AND NEW THINGS HAVE HAPPENED, ALL OF WHICH INVOLVED SOME LEVEL OF WORRY.I ALWAYS TRY AND REMEMBER THOSE WORDS SAID BY THE GREAT COMIC GENIOUS ALFRED E. NEWMAN....."WHAT, ME WORRY". I WAS TOLD EARLY ON THAT I SHOULD LET THE GOD OF MY UNDERSTANDING DO THE WORRYING FOR ME AND THAT HAS ALWAYS WORKED FOR ME.I BELIEVE GOD REWARDS US WHEN WE DO EVERYTHING IN OUR POWER TO STAY SOBER. AND IF WE DO THIS THINGS HAVE A WAY OF WORKING THEMSELVES OUT, FOR ME ANYWAY. SO DON'T DRINK AND ALWAYS REMEMBER...." DON'T WORRY, BE REASONABLY HAPPY".
Member: AnilG
Location: Mt Vernon,IL
Date: 3/25/01
Time: 5:31:54 PM
My name is Anil I am an alcoholic the first thing that comes to my mind is to surrender to the Will of God or the HP as we see them. I see myself inside me first then work my steps 4 and five and then i seek strengh from my HP that I give up my bad habbits 'cause that is the will of God.
Member: Sherri M
Location: S.TX
Date: 3/25/01
Time: 6:05:45 PM
So many things I have learned by just letting go. It was one of the most "freeing" experiences I ever felt-like an epiphany(sp?)I just know to instinctively go in the "right" directions these days and have faith that whatever works out is all for the best. Even when I question my choices I learn something from it as that one other guy said earlier;like forgiveness and stuff. There is always a lesson to learn to bring us closer to our higher selves. Thanks everybody so much for being here. It is so nice to know there are so many who share my life. Always stay on the winding road up. Or as Robert Frost says," I will travel the road less traveled" and that we have my freinds
Member: Connie P.
Location: Phx, AZ
Date: 3/25/01
Time: 7:18:25 PM
Hello. My name is Connie and I am an alcoholic. Surrender is a wonderful topic. I used to think that surrendering was a terrible sign of weakness. I was "trained" since childhood to be strong and tough and to Never give up. I viewed all those who gave up/surrender as weak and not worth much. I now know for a fact, that to surrender and give it up to God, takes Great strength and courage. For me to let go and let God has given me great and wonderful gifts. I am very grateful to God and to the program for teaching me how to "surrender".
Member: Michael
Location: Az
Date: 3/25/01
Time: 8:19:09 PM
Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome newcomers! Thanks for the sincere shares!
This is an excellent topic for me, Carol! Just last night I found myself laying in bed worrying about my health issues, when I realized that it was no time to be worrying about such things, especially since I couldn't do anything about the problem at that time.
As we know, worrying never actually helps with anything, including staying sober. Worrying can only create additional stress. So it is essential to let go and surrender, rather than worry, although I think the vast majority of us have to also accept that we will never be completely worry free.
Of course, I'm not talking about the "don't worry, be happy" attitude. For me, that injunction just results in a carefree, irresponsible attitude. The key for me is trying to reduce my worrying one day at a time by not drinking, letting go and accepting that I will probably never be completely worry free.
Member: Harry K
Location: U.K
Date: 3/25/01
Time: 8:39:39 PM
Thanks for the topic Carol! I'm one of the people found on page 58..."those to who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders".
I often say that not to be funny, but because its true. Give me a nurdle of negativity and I can manufacture it into a cause for proper self destruction. I obsess constantly when I get in God's way.....always trying to run things myself, to control and run amok in an effort to either get what I want, keep what I have or just to spin because I know crisis and am O.K with it.
There are those times that I drive myself to the point of lunacy until that part of myself which I have developed over the years kicks in and finally say's, "Harry, give it up! Surrender, you can't win this one, God's in charge! Out of desperation and shear exhaustion I let it go and surrender. The very moment I do that I feel the release of all my self imposed anxiety and stress and can feel the protective power of my God come in.
Why do I wait so long? Why haven't I learned of the futility of not knowing the difference between that which I can change and that which I need to stay away from? I don't know, and I guess it's not important. What realy matters is my remembering when I do finaly surrender and let things happen the way they should it not only gets 500% better, but it turns out that all my fighting was for nothing. It all works out as it should. When things work out the way I had hoped they would, I realise it had little to do with me anyway. When things DON'T work out, it's usually because my obsessive and arogant characteristics have pretty much poisoned my own well.
As said in the other posts before me,"surrender to win!" one of the great paradoxs'! The first surrender I made was in step one, after that, I let go of my "holding on". Thats when the fellowship of A.A replaced my destructive associations with bad influences, the God of my understanding stepped in and I was given not only my life back, but a life worth living. Thanks for letting me type!
Member: CharlesR
Location: Maryland
Date: 3/25/01
Time: 8:56:53 PM
Surrender good topic thanks Carol. My health promblems are what made me decide to give up drinking. At first I didn't know what surrender meant but I soon found out how letting go and letting my HP do my worrying for me helped so so much. I been three and half years sober and have learned how to surrender. Well, I'm not a very good composer but it it sure makes me feel good to share with you all and thank you for sharing with me so goood night and god bless
Member: HIPOLITO
Location: Chicago
Date: 3/25/01
Time: 9:12:19 PM
Hi i'm Hipolito alcoholic ,surrender who would have thought that by giving up i would succeed, but by trusting in my higher power i have found a since of peace and serenity by surrendering to my disease i have found sobriety ,even if things don't work out the way i would have liked i still have to surrender to my faith, my higher power has a plan .I had a bad habit of projecting what was going to happen and when they didn't happen the way i expected i would be disappointed, but i have found that somewhere down the line my HP makes it up to me ,my point is that worry will not change the outcome of any situation that to surrender my life in my faith in my HP is the only way to peace and serenity my wife can't understand why i am so carefree in a crisis because i have given my worries away no i do not worry today i do put in my HP' hands . Thanks i'll keep coming back.
Member: James B.
Location: Law.,Ks
Date: 3/25/01
Time: 10:33:34 PM
Hi I'm Jamie and I'm an alcoholic. This is a good topic for me.I'm 6 days sober and its tough ,Weekends especially .I know i need to surrender but I have a hard time beleiving I guess I,m allowed or deserve to be returned to sanity .Thanks I've heard alot of good things.
Member: James B
Location: Law,Ks
Date: 3/25/01
Time: 11:06:13 PM
I'm Jamie and I'm an alcoholic. I was just in the coffee pot and they were talking about faith .Thats a concept never thought about that. Surrender takes faith.What a concept.
Member: Patg
Location: Tucson
Date: 3/26/01
Time: 1:21:10 AM
Hi I'm Pat alcoholic - boy surrender was the one thing I fought for the longest time and yet I prayed for it and it wasn't until I got out of the way and let God answer my prayers was I able to finally feel the relief of surrender. I just got too tired to being sick and tired and I finally refused to get up and look for that next drink. Thank God! And then to my amazement the revelations did start to come - the most startling one was that I finally realized that if I didn't stop drinking I was going to die or go insane! How could I have missed that one? That's when the insanity part of the disease was revealed to me. That was when I could finally start to detach from the fear and view my horrific descent into hell for what it really was. God I am so grateful to be sober and it was only because I finally got it and surrendered.
Member: Gary G
Location: ALASKA
Date: 3/26/01
Time: 2:00:27 AM
My name is Gary and I'm alcholic, Mike M thankyou for sharing with us, your special moment. We had our first baby when I had 3 years of soberity. I'm sure no one will mind if you post twice to let us know when the baby is born. I used to bring my baby (Allison) to meetings with me when I couldn't find a baby sitter. Some of my friends used to ask if they could hold the baby and I'd let them. One time I looked across the room and Allison was being passed around the room like the basket. It brightened a few peoplee people to hold a little baby. When she was 6 she would go to one of the Alaska meetings with me and we had an extra room next to the meeting room where the kids could play. One day they were exceptionally quiet so I peeked in the door and noticed they had found a big book and a gavel and they were having there own AA meeting the 6 year chairperson said "Dennis would you like to share" and Dennis, who was about 7 said " my name is Dennis and I'm an alcholic" the other 6 or 7 kids said "Hi Dennis" he said "I'm sick and tired of being of being sick and tired" All of them would clap and the chairperson would call on someone else. This to me was better then the real meeting that was going on, so I continued to spy. They all took a turn sharing and ended the meeting with the Lords prayer which they made up as they went along. They followed that by an all together "Keep coming back it works" which they did very well, if I do say so my self. Today my daughter is 16 years old, she goes to meetings with me helps with coffee she even went to the Las Vegas Roundup last Thanksgiving, we had a good time. We played golf together and then she go to the Alateen meetings and do things with kids her own age. In a few short weeks I will celebrate 20 years of soberity and it just keeps getting better. I was just going to jump in for a sentence or two and give my best to Michael and I got carried away a little. Gary
Member: Dale L.
Location: Mi.
Date: 3/26/01
Time: 6:03:13 AM
"Let go and let God". It works. Only when I let my magic magnifying mind decide it wants to make the rules do things get out of wack.Been struggling as of late. Didn't know what was going on. At 4:00 A.M. Woke up and signed on for the first time. Carol's topic is what I needed to hear and think about. I think my higher power decided to send me a little reminder of who and what I am and what it takes. Thank you Carol and all the others of this wonderful fellowship.
Member: Clara A.
Location: Fla.
Date: 3/26/01
Time: 7:26:56 AM
Hello my name is clara, I am an acoholic, worry ruled my life before I found the program,I just thought worry was something we had to do, because I grew up with negative parents who had negative parents, and worry was a way of life .When I came into the program and heard I could turn it over to my higher power, what a relief, I have 13 years in the program and that has been my mission in this program to break the worry habit, in the middle of the day or night I have the habit of praying instead of worring, that works.In the begenning of my program my sponcer asked me to make a list to the things I was most worried about , she said ninety five precent of what we worry about never happen, I was not convenced until about three weeks later we talked about my list and none of those things had happened, that was such a realization for me , I could get a glimpse of how worry was ruling my life. It has been a process of breaking an old distructive habit. Thank God for the program and the wonderful people that pass it on.
Member: willie D
Location: Florida
Date: 3/26/01
Time: 11:24:43 AM
I have to learn to surrender my self
Member: Von
Location: Ohio
Date: 3/26/01
Time: 12:26:12 PM
Carol-Thanks for the topic. A lot of great comments. In the beginning, I didn't know how to handle worry. When I worried, I just assumed that the worst was going to happen. As I grew in sobriety, I found that the program helped me deal with worry. Someone told me that the steps are a process of surrender. So, in the beginning, we give up drinking, as we proceed, we give up the past, eventually, through faith and a stronger relationship with our Higher Powers, we learn to give up self.
It is a process, but a wonderful one. I have learned that whether something good or bad happens, it all tends to work for good (hindsight is 20/20!) in a life of sobriety and faith. I may not feel good, but I'm at peace.
When I worry, I find that I'm usually not staying in the present but am back there in history or out there in mystery. Reality is my here and now, and that's where my Higher Power resides.
Being human, I may still worry sometimes, but it's less intense and paralyzing. Also, because of you people and this great program, I know what to do about it today.
Member: alternity
Location: Earth
Date: 3/26/01
Time: 3:07:44 PM
I have been worrying all today about something I have no control over. I just want things to go my way but I know that I should turn them over to my HP and just live the best I can. All this worrying will amount to nothing either. When I let go completely and stay focused , life is much easier. I guess I like to make things hard on myself...I want the 'easy' way. Today i pray that I can just stay focused on my recovery and let God into the drivers seat.
thanks for letting me share. Im in.
Member: ANNA
Location:
Date: 3/26/01
Time: 6:36:46 PM
HI MY NAME IS ANNA AND I AM AN ALCOHOLIC. THANKS FOR BEING HERE YOU ALL. I NEEDED A MEETING. I HAVE BEING FEELING VERY GRATEFUL TODAY; I JUST HAD MY SECOND CHILD AND IT IS JUST A MIRACLE; THANKS TO MY HIGHER POWER. THIS IS A GREAT TOPIC FOR ME SINCE I AM A CONTROL FREAK THEREFORE I WORRY ALL THE TIME. THANKS GUYS FOR REMINDING ME THAT I DONT HAVE TO BE IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT AND THAT I HAVE TO TRUST MY HIGHER POWER THAT EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT FOR THE BEST IN MY LIFE IF I JUST DONT DRINK, PRAY AND GET OUT OF THE WAY. ANNA
Member: William.A.
Location: High-Point
Date: 3/26/01
Time: 6:44:25 PM
Hello,William.A. Alkie.
Yes I do agree this is a very good topic,--- surrender,how often do I catch myself in a situ- ation where I need to do that very thing. It has become increasingly clear to me that if I can just get out of the way and allow myself to except that we are not alway's on the same page as far as recovery is concerned then and only, then can I allow others to feel the pain that they choose to feel with or without my meddeling in thier business.
when it comes to surrending to a power greater than my-self I have become easy to let my H.P do the job that is better performed by his loving and caring arms.
Once again I thank you for this topic just for this day...Lot's and lot's of lovin to all.
Member: John R.
Location: Akron,Ohio
Date: 3/26/01
Time: 9:35:58 PM
Hi, my name is John and I'm definitely alcolic. What a great topic Carol has brought to the table! Until I could surrender to my way (will) I couldn't stay sober. For me, surrendering was a process not an instant descision. Oh, I thought I surrendered on numerous occassions, but that's all I did, Thought. My best thinking has gotten me right where I'm at today. When I finally became willing to listen to the people that my HIGHER POWER (GOD), has placed in my life, I then began to grow spiritually! I had to give up ALL of the half-measures and old ideas for this new way of life. The only life I could ever want today!! Thank you for letting me be a part of your discussion, and for helping to keep me sober for another 24hrs.
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Member: legrandplayer
Location: ottawa.ontario
Date: 3/26/01
Time: 11:02:57 PM
HI! IM DAN.IM NOW IN MY 5TH WEEK OF SOBRIETY.I AM SO HAPPY I TOOK THAT FIRST STEP.I JUST CAME BACK FROM A WEEKEND CALLED ESSENSIEL-CROISSANCE A GROUP THEREPY THAT BROUGHT ME BACK TO ALL MY HURT AND ANGER FROM MY CHILDHOOD.IT WAS A THOUGH WEEKEND.VERRY EMOTIONNAL.BUT NOW VERRY SATISFYING SINCE WHEN I LEFT THERE SUNDAY AFTER 32 HRS OF TREATMENT OVER THE WEEKEND,I LEFT THERE A BUNCH OF UNWANTED BAGGAGES. REMEMBER WHAT BROUGHT U TO DRINKING IN THE FIRST PLACE.AND CONCENTRATE ON RIDING OF THOSE PROBLEMS,I SEE THAT AS HELPING ANYONE TO GET OFF THE BOTTLE ONCE AND FOR ALL.....TY ALL
Member: legrandplayer
Location: ottawa ontario
Date: 3/26/01
Time: 11:06:50 PM
:)
Member: Tim Y
Location: Reno
Date: 3/27/01
Time: 12:04:33 AM
I thought I was at the lowest point I have been when I surrendered, mabey I was. The ironic thing is that once I did surrender to myself, my sponser, and my HP I felt much better. Finally, I don't have to do this on my own, which never worked any way.
Member: Jack B
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Date: 3/27/01
Time: 3:00:13 AM
Hi I am Jack, a real alcoholic.When it comes to worry, I was told very early on in my sobriety, that if I am going to pray don'T WORRY, If I am going to worry DON'T PRAY. God gives me only what I can handle in a twenty four hour day.God may not come when you expect him, but he is never late. When a little adversity enters my life, I need to remember that God believes I am strong enough to handle it or he is trying to make me stronger. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless.
Member: Willie D.
Location: Florida
Date: 3/27/01
Time: 9:22:05 AM
I need to be a role modle for the people I love , If they see me worry they will also look at the way i handle being worried and that will reflect on them.
Member: Robert
Location: Canada
Date: 3/27/01
Time: 9:39:25 AM
Not surrendering leads to worry,which is negativity,which is poisen.I let worry,(I really did have some large problems)lead me back to drinking with that old threadbare idea"a drink can't make this any worse".Well it cost me nearly ev erything,and Im lucky to have survived.I believe that there are no mistakes in HIS world and this had to happen to me for a reason,its all a learning experience,and this is the path I had to follow to get where Im at,even though its so easy any human to look back and say woulda,coulda,shoulda.Surrender is really tough,it takes a lot of FAITH,learn to trust in that you cannot see,that things are happening according to a larger plan,and acceptance is the key.Jealousy is another poisen that makes one forget how well off we are and especially we who have had,or could have had so much but have blown it(or the feeling that we have)it is the road we were supposed to go down to get were we are,even though its unclear what the reason is for it.Try to stay in today,be glad for what we have,avoid poisens,and remember were only here for awhile.
Member: Robert
Location: Canada
Date: 3/27/01
Time: 9:39:28 AM
Not surrendering leads to worry,which is negativity,which is poisen.I let worry,(I really did have some large problems)lead me back to drinking with that old threadbare idea"a drink can't make this any worse".Well it cost me nearly ev erything,and Im lucky to have survived.I believe that there are no mistakes in HIS world and this had to happen to me for a reason,its all a learning experience,and this is the path I had to follow to get where Im at,even though its so easy any human to look back and say woulda,coulda,shoulda.Surrender is really tough,it takes a lot of FAITH,learn to trust in that you cannot see,that things are happening according to a larger plan,and acceptance is the key.Jealousy is another poisen that makes one forget how well off we are and especially we who have had,or could have had so much but have blown it(or the feeling that we have)it is the road we were supposed to go down to get were we are,even though its unclear what the reason is for it.Try to stay in today,be glad for what we have,avoid poisens,and remember were only here for awhile.
Member: JanineB
Location: Pennsylvania
Date: 3/27/01
Time: 9:45:16 AM
'Morning, all, I'm Janine and I'm an alcoholic.
Surrender. That's so hard to do. I am so used to controlling myself and my life. Am I doing it for myself? Am I doing it because of what others think? Some days I just don't know. Is 'surrendering' giving up? It's hard to do. Sometimes I feel like surrendering to the desire to have a drink or 15. This weekend was tough, but I got through it. It should be 'one weekend at a time' rather than 'one day at a time' for me!!
Just rambling. Don't know if there are any suggestions. I never was one much for prayer, God, the 'Higher Power" stuff. I was raised Catholic, but haven't been to church in years. I don't know if I remember how to pray. It feels like I'm just sitting there, begging for help, for guidance, for....what? I don't know what will help me, exactly. And what do I give in return? I just say "please help me, please help me, please guide me, tell me what to do" and there's.....silence. I've forgotten what it's like.
My mother keeps telling me to "pray, pray for guidance", but it has done nothing for me in the past. Have I forgotten how to listen, what to listen for, expecting a big *ZAP!* to come down from the heavens and give me all of the right answers????
Still struggling, daily,
Member: stephen t
Location: florida
Date: 3/27/01
Time: 10:05:56 AM
Hi,Steve here,47 year's young,alcoholic,20, sober, through the teaching's of aa.Worrying is something we learn to get better with, provideing were practiceing the aa way of life. Fellowship, does not equal=program. Do the math, we can talk about our worries all we want and it is encouraged. But faith without work's is dead.We must take the step's of recovery to obtain the highest result's that the aa PROGRAM has to offer. If we don't, does that mean we won't stay sober? I don't know, but i wanted the most i could get out of aa. And i agree'd to go to any length's! or did i? What do you want?
Member: Melissa
Location: Texas
Date: 3/27/01
Time: 1:53:42 PM
Thanks Carol - isn't it always amazing when you get hit with a topic right when you need it? :) God's cool like that! My sponsor says that surrender is nothing more than suiting up, showing up & shutting up & letting HP take over. So today, I choose to start surrendering all instead of hanging on to something I think I can control! Thanks again!
Member: Mark D
Location: Concord, NH
Date: 3/27/01
Time: 2:12:47 PM
being the opposite of a Type A alcoholic(/i'm right and everyone else is wrong) I figured whatever I did would be wrong or just-not-good-enough. So what I thought was acceptance of the world around me by not fighting it was in effect--not wanting to live life on life's terms- so, not even trying. I was really acting (or NOT acting), out of WORRY that I would fail and Worry that my efforts would not be good enough. The first 3 steps brought me back to the playing field of life. It said to me 'If you want God to help you get sober, he's not going to do it and then allow you to sit on the sidelines of life and look on. You're going to have to accept that God expects you to DO SOMETHING.'
I surrendered to life and all I got was the bottom of a bottle... when I surrender to God I get a promise to be able to live life.
Member: zeek
Location:
Date: 3/27/01
Time: 5:17:12 PM
i peeed on an electric fence,got a cooked weiner.
Member: Carol C.
Location: New Jersey
Date: 3/27/01
Time: 5:31:31 PM
Janine B. Your post really touched me. I could feel your pain and uncertainy. Do you have a sponsor? Do you go to meetings? Being with others who have this disease is the key to figuring all this out. Was for me and still is even after 10 yrs. sober.
Keep coming back!
Member: Bob F (The Ghost)
Location: Kansas
Date: 3/27/01
Time: 5:39:31 PM
Surrender was never in my vocabulary wen I was drinking. Not until I was able to understand that the alcohol was root of my problem was I able to surrender. Great topic.
Member: Perry
Location: South Africa
Date: 3/27/01
Time: 5:49:33 PM
Carol C, this is a truly great topic for me today, as I guess I was supposed to pass by this site. Okay, surrender is the key, but surrender to what? Everything I suppose.
Here's the issue for me today. I was offered a dream job, a real shot at the stars, and was poised to take it next week, but something was eating at me. Okay, I acknowledge there was a fair degree of danger and risk, but I usually deal with these factors well enough, so what was it that kept eating at me, my mind, or something else?
Okay here's the question, am I better off if I see a car wreck coming and react to my fear by breaking before a collision or should I just let go, let God, and crash full speed ahead? I somehow feel God gives us feelings and emotions for a reason. Things feel bad that we should avoid, for example getting pushed near a hot stove, and feel good if we pursue them, such as falling in love. But being an alcoholic makes this kind of rational thinking hard, at least for me, as I am just as likely to pursue a hot stove (getting burned time and again) or lust for love to the point of self obsession. My gut isn't always my best friend, nor do I believe, is it always my worst enemy. When I first got into the program my sponsor literally told me to do the opposite of what I wanted for awhile, as everything I felt was so screwed up, nice guy huh! Well, as a good little sponsee I did this, and it worked, I got better.
Well, today I pray for guidance first, listen to my inner voice (gut), and follow a path that hopefully leads to some sort of better sober life. Did I just kiss of another dream shot of a life-time, or did I just avoid a train wreck, I'll never know for sure. I don't like acting on fear, so this time I waited until the fear passed, prayed, and still made my choice with a clear head. And amazingly, a new opportunity just opened up, not the dream shot I thought I wanted, but pretty close. Today I am a little better at choosing before I get in deep trouble, but I sometimes wonder what opportunities I really pass up when I spend time "worrying about an outcome and get anxious" about the what if's…
Letting go, letting God, taking action, facing the fear, being assertive and not too aggressive, somehow makes a bit of sense to me today.
A faith that works a day at a time!
Thanks for the topic!
Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: 3/27/01
Time: 8:07:07 PM
Hi! Bill here, Alcoholic from Arizona. Surrender was never a consideration for me in the early days. My first sponsor pointed out to me that the "surrender" came in the 10th step. "And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone-even alcohol." He also pointed out that sanity will have returned. We react sanely and normally. These are all results of working Steps One through Nine. The invisible promises if you will. My sponsor showed me where this happens automatically.
The original 40 to 100 alcoholics who wrote the Big Book went to great lengths to take the word surrender out of the original manuscript because it was distasteful to alcoholics. It simply amazes me why we seem to go to greater lengths to put it back in.
Gosh. Alcohol surely did put a lot of complications into my life. I really didn't need a lot of more complications in my recovery, especially early on. K.I.S.S.
Bill
az-bill@primenet.com
Member: Misha B
Location: Dallas
Date: 3/27/01
Time: 11:07:45 PM
Carol, awesome topic. Thanks I needed this one. I am working on stopping what I call "selective surrender" Drinking became a life and death issue for me so I could do this major surrender and figured I could handle the rest. Hah! I have had 3 and 3/4 years of sobriety but I still keep thinking there are certain areas of my life God is too busy to handle. I am trying to get pregnant and it is hard for me to let HP handle this. Lots of fear about whether or not I am worthy of this, and fear about it if it does happen. Bottom line: One day at a time. I am so glad you guys are here. Bless You. Misha
Member: jose
Location:
Date: 3/27/01
Time: 11:35:00 PM
misha b do you need some help getting pg
Member: Luke D.
Location: Land Of Lincoln
Date: 3/28/01
Time: 12:37:30 AM
Hi, I'm Luke and I'm an alcoholic. Grateful to be sober and somewhat sane due only to my Higher Power and the twelve steps of AA. Surrender, for me, was and is a much needed reality check in my daily life. When I was active in my addiction I surrendered my hope, my faith and my trust to the power of the addiction. This was a certainty that if I let everything go to run its course, my bills, my spent relationships, etc. everything would indeed either stay the same, get worse or go away. This was the predecessor of my let go and let God attitude. The difference is simply that I had to take action in my ambiguity, action where needed to clear up the wreckage of my past, pay bills or whatever and go on to do the right thing. Surrendering was the catylist to my new found freedom. Only through complete defeat do we find freedom.
Member: Chris M.
Location: Denver
Date: 3/28/01
Time: 2:10:07 AM
Hi! Chris, Alcoholic. I thank you all for the words of inspiration. My HP led me to the very words I needed exactly when I needed them. I'm 40 or so days sober and was seriously thinking about going out tonight to "get rid of my worries." Thanks to this page and my HP I made it through another day.
Member: Lorraine
Location: B.C.
Date: 3/28/01
Time: 3:35:01 AM
Hi, I'm Lorraine and I am an alcoholic, surrender is a great topic. Like a good little alcoholic everything I let go of has scratch marks on it. I have been struggling with my life lately and I know that surrendering to my Hp is always the way to go. I sometimes forget to open the door and let him in. Congratulations to Jaimie for 6 days of sobriety. One day at a time is all we have. I live in an area surrounded by beauty and mountains. I need only look around to realize how powerful God realy is. I stand under and stay sober. wish you all another 24.
Member: Lorraine
Location: B.C.
Date: 3/28/01
Time: 3:35:06 AM
Hi, I'm Lorraine and I am an alcoholic, surrender is a great topic. Like a good little alcoholic everything I let go of has scratch marks on it. I have been struggling with my life lately and I know that surrendering to my Hp is always the way to go. I sometimes forget to open the door and let him in. Congratulations to Jaimie for 6 days of sobriety. One day at a time is all we have. I live in an area surrounded by beauty and mountains. I need only look around to realize how powerful God realy is. I stand under and stay sober. wish you all another 24.
Member: Fred M
Location: MD
Date: 3/28/01
Time: 7:17:14 AM
I'm Fred, a grateful alcoholic, sober today by the grace of God and the fellowship of AA. ///Janine B from PA/// Your message took me back to the early days of my sobriety, when I had identical feelings about prayer, and the same questions about it. Old timers would not advise you to skip to the later steps, but I want to point you to a page in the big book that helped me a lot, and still does. See the part about Step 11 at the following site, concerning how to pray: http://www.recovery.org/aa/bigbook/ww/chapter_6.html When I first surrendered, somehow I found the Big Book, and somehow found this page. I started doing it exactly how it is described there. I slowly came to realize that the answers would not come with lightening strikes and booming voices. The answers would come in the form of ideas and insights. I'd ask for guidance on what I should do next, or what "normal" people would do in a certain situation, and somehow, the answer was provided. I wasn't sure either, at first, but I was so desperate, I just kept trying. One day at a time, I've managed to stay sober for a long time. I still read that page at least once a week, and I always see something new. Thanks for letting me share. Love, Fred
Member: willie D
Location: Florida
Date: 3/28/01
Time: 9:38:23 AM
I think of God often and sometimes I wonder why things happen , I mean all kinds of bad things but it is us that allow it not God. Praying is good
Member: Nate H
Location: Mpls
Date: 3/28/01
Time: 11:12:02 AM
Hi, my name is Nate and I'm an alcoholic. This is a great topic for me. Just last night I fell of the wagon again. I've been in a really bad place (my own head). When I surrender myself to other people and my HP then I can get some serenity and peace. Trying to control my life has led me to hardship. My sponcer sais that if you are truly practicing the third step then your life is none of you buisness. Once again, Thank you for this topic and I enjoyed seeing what you all had to say.
Member: Al K.
Location: Cast out!
Date: 3/28/01
Time: 11:37:24 AM
Praying is good if you are honestly seeking answers, and a way out of the prevailing injustices and abominations of the earth, but most people are all in harmonious submission to the demons and the false-prophets who are indeed multitudinous, and to them it has been simply written; "One that turneth his ear from hearing the Law, even his prayer is an abomination!" Pr 28:9. And these are just dogmatic heretics who are certainly "constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves!!" So ask yourselves how do you treat God's Supreme Law, do you just pick out the things that are not too difficult and disregard the rest? Do you practice the Golden Rule of Mt 7:12? Do you make amends to people you have wilfully wronged? Are you even the least bit interested in truly doing the right thing by making amends to the Most High God? Or do you look for a complacent state of happiness that you cannot really find, and are miserably bitter inside carrying on a hypocritical charade as you weep and gnash your teeth?
Member: Verna
Location: Lake Arrowhead, CA
Date: 3/28/01
Time: 11:57:21 AM
Wow. I found this website because I was looking for current info about an author (Sandra Anice Barnes) who wrote a book that was given to me by a former sponsor about 17 years ago. When I read the topics, and the comments written by others here, it reminded me of a quote from the book! The quote is: "Sometimes I treat God as if He can't handle it." Isn't that GREAT!?! And so true. You know, it's funny. There are some areas of my life that I have had no difficulty surrendering to the God of my understanding. But then there are others, sometimes financial, sometimes relationship problems, that it's as though I say to Him: "No. Not this one. I'LL handle THIS one!" and I take it back, or keep it from him. Then, what usually happens, is I get my butt kicked by the problem, and THEN I surrender to Him. The truth probably is that the very problems or situations that I most want to control/handle myself are the ones I most need to give to God. Have a great day everyone! And thanks for letting me share.
Member: jj
Location: sc
Date: 3/28/01
Time: 12:09:13 PM
Golden Rule #62 -- Don't take yourself so serious. After all nobody is. (This was a gift from my sponsor.) Surrender was easy when I hit bottom. I had nothing to lose so why not try something different. Today I am at peace with my Higher Power and even my mother. The program is simple. But am I willing to step out on a limb and try? One of the stories state,"Alcohol gave me wings to fly, then took away the sky." Well, AA gave me a whole new horizon of opportunities. And the spiritual flight is mine if I'm willing to surrender to the wind of the Spirit. (The Spirit is Love)
Member: wILLIEd
Location: fLORIDA
Date: 3/28/01
Time: 12:11:10 PM
wORRYING DOSENT HELP THE MATTER BUT WE DO TURN TO DRUGS AND OR ALCOHOL FOR A QUICK FIX AT LEAST WE THINK IT IS , ONLY TO FIND OUT THE PROBLEM IS STILL THERE AFTER WE SOBER UP, wE NEED TO FIND A BETTER WAY TO DEAL WITH LIFE
Member: Pam B
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Date: 3/28/01
Time: 12:12:05 PM
Hi, I'm Pam, an alcoholic, At the first meeting I went to, I identified w/being powerless over alcohol, and already had faith in my HP (God to me) and knew within that He wants me to do this "achieving sobriety" thing - so I guess I first began my process of surrender then. I must have, because I had been assigned a sponsor at that first meeting and did call her each day & did do as she told me to - and I had never let anyone advise me, guide me, nor tell me what to do before then. lol! This was the first "miracle" of the program I had seen.
I also followered her suggestion, to pray & ask God to remove my cravings/desire to drink or drug each time I had them, so that was the next amazing miracle I experienced because I had surrendered. I followed the suggestion to start first each morning with a prayer asking God's Will, not my will, be done for this day, and to please keep me from taking a drink or a drug today.
I heard it said that "surrender" means to join the side that's winning. I do view it that I did not quit drinking, I surrendered.
For the longest time I could not "get" Step 3. I could not comprehend what else could be the fullness of surrendering (turning) my will over to the care of God. I would read everything, ask questions, sit & hold my breath trying to will some mysterious thing out of me. lol! I just could not get it. My sponsor had me use pg 86 in the BB, where it says "when we retire at night ..." to get up each am and write only about how my behavior was yesterday - was I resentful, selfish, dishonest, afraid to any others? Did I fail to give an apology when I should have? Did I fail to be kind & loving instead of the way I did act? She told me these are behaviors of self-will that I need to turn over in surrender to God's Will (ways - the Principles) instead.
And she had me read pgs 60-63 BB to see all the ways my self-will uses to manipulate others into being how I want them to be to create my own dilusional sense of security . . alleviate the Fears within me so I will feel ok as a person. Surrender is that willingness to stop those ways, even tho its scary - I don't know what the outcome will be if I dont seek the control with those ways myself - but to decide to not do them and to let God show me what He can do for me instead.
Its simply the decision to go on with the remainder of the Steps so I can see all the self-willed ways I need to surrender over to God & let Him make the changes in me to living by His Ways instead. For me, it has definately been a joining of the winning side - true Freedom.
When situations come up that I fear/worry the outcome, I am in stress for as long as I am fearing the outcome won't go my way or way I need it to be. I apply steps 1,2,3 - I am powerless over the situation, He can take care of it & I let Him. I ask God to please do His Will w/situation and grant me Acceptance of whatever that may turn out to be (because I know w/Him taking care of it, it will be only good & what's best for me in one way or another) Then my fear & worry is gone, I walk in inner peace & serenity thru the situation, I grow a little further by it, and I am grateful. Thank God for this program, for all of you & for letting me share. Pam
Member: Stacey.S
Location: North Eastern PA
Date: 3/28/01
Time: 12:40:17 PM
My name is Stacey I'm an alcoholic, I too have a hard time letting og and letting God. I have 5 months in the program and am currently living in a 1/2 way house in PA. I am getting ready to go home to NYC on Saterday and have lots of fear. Basicly its time for me to go back and clean up the mess. I am starting over and although I should be grateful for the opportunity to be able to start anew I cant help but worry. I have no job, no place to call my own and have to work with the state in regards to getting custody of my child back (my Mom has temperary custody) any way I feel somewhat overwhelmed but at the same time I am anxious to get on with my life. Any feed back would be appreciated.
Member: dogface dave
Location:
Date: 3/28/01
Time: 2:49:02 PM
stacey,
hmmmmmm...............
Member: Stacey.S
Location:
Date: 3/28/01
Time: 2:55:50 PM
Hey Dog face! Thanks for the deep and meaningful feed back. Keep coming back as some truley are sicker than others
Member: Stacey.S
Location:
Date: 3/28/01
Time: 2:56:19 PM
Hey Dog face! Thanks for the deep and meaningful feed back. Keep coming back as some truley are sicker than others
Member: Lori S
Location: NJ
Date: 3/28/01
Time: 3:33:18 PM
Hi Stacy,
You are at the beginning, a great place to start the rest of your life ( Create the first day any way you like Saturday, how exciting)!! Thanks Everyone..
Member: TOM.G
Location: nfld canada
Date: 3/28/01
Time: 3:36:15 PM
Hi I'm TOM and a very greatful alcholic/stacey hang in there girl it get better it really do ,but sometimes we get impatient waiting ,with GOD on our side ,he wont give us something in our life that he dont give us the strenght to handle,the topic surender has a diffrent meaning today than when I came into the program, I used to think to surender was to give up,but I had no concept of what it could mean,today surender means to let go and let GOD , I know that if I really and truly let god do for me what I could not do for myself IT do work ,I believe God could if he willed it take away all my troubles,but I dont believe he will ,he will give me the answer through another alcholic's talking to me ,I believe god answers all PRAYERS but he got only 3 answers (1) [YES] (2) [no] AND (3)[ WAIT AWHILE ] THE THIRD ONE I MAY HAVE TROUBLE WITH IF I dont except LIFE on LIFE'S terms. HAVE a PRETTY DAY ALL
Member: Stacey.S
Location:
Date: 3/28/01
Time: 3:49:45 PM
Thanx guys for taking the time to let me know that there are those who care pray for me as I will keep all of you in mine
Member: Anonymous
Location:
Date: 3/28/01
Time: 4:00:26 PM
"Surrender; What a topic; Like the north and south poles is this one. This word surrender if practiced can take a man to great height or down to the lowest depths. It can enter into things eternal or hold one back from the same forever. It can overcome the world or inslave a man in the bondage of oppression. It can be right or wrong, good or evil, holy or profane all with one basic understanding of the which it is we are to surrender to....
If I surrender to God, all things work together for good. If I surrender to the world, all things work together for evil. To surrender to God is the steps of the program, to surrender to the world is the steps of delema. Surrender unto God holiness righteousness faith, surrender to the world uncleaness unjust and faithlessness. Surrender to God equals love joy and peace, surrender to the world equals unrest impatience and wickedness...
Therefore surrender is only expedient if it be unto God. Anything less is to need Him that much the more. If I surrender myself to anything below, it is to that very thing I am a servant. If I surrender myself unto God, I am judged by no man....
Member: Chris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: 3/28/01
Time: 4:26:39 PM
Chris, here : Alcoholic/addict/bulimic---Hi all---What a perfect topic for me today!!!Letting go of worry has been one of the greatest gifts this program has given me. However, I must say that it is quite an ongoing process. I had a great sucess last night. I was begininning to get very anxious about a physical condition I have, and I stopped myself and was able to Turn it over to GOd. IT really worked , but it has taken a long time for me to learn how to really trust that HE will take care of it. I have loved the posts saying that GOd can do so much of a better job than I can. If we would truly believe that , we would be so much better off. WELCOME to all the newcomers. Keep Coming back!!!!
Member: Ed G,
Location: Bryan
Date: 3/28/01
Time: 6:52:43 PM
Hi I am Ed an alcoholic, Surrendering is a very good topic. Letting go of my worries, has ease the shame and the pain that I have felt for so long. Now I have learned that letting something worry you doesn't get you no where. Just take everything one day at a time.
Member: Pattw/2tees
Location: Eugene OR
Date: 3/28/01
Time: 10:27:22 PM
Carol, thank you for the topic. "In surrender is VICTORY" (Chuck C.), and it is truly that. When I was newly sober, the idea of "surrender" was so foreign to me; be brave, fight the good fight, persevere, etc., etc., were the maxims that I'd lived all my life. When I realizeed that God was there for me and I could turn myself over to his care, there was such relief that I cried. No longer did I have to run everything in my life, pushing the rope, grimly determined to have it my way. Today, through the blessings of Him and this program, I can care about what happens, but only do what is in my realm of action. The Serenity Prayer says it all for me.
Just the other day I was very concerned with the safety of a friend whose alcoholic husband had to be hospitalized. They'd sent him home to recuperate and, when I called to speak to Betty, she sounded dreadful. I was in turmoil as to whether I should call her daughter, the police, or my sponsor (whose line had been busy). Standing in my kitchen, I simply said, "God, please help me do your will." That INSTANT, the phone rang, and it was Betty's daughter reporting that everything was okay. Today, nothing surprises me, but I'm often delighted.
Michael, good luck on the baby front! Janine, you are on a wonderful path--it's fearsome to go out into the world newly sober, but you can do it. Welcome to all the newcomers; if you stick around for a while, don't drink, and work the steps with a sponsor, you'll be having birthdays before you know it!
Love to all in sobriety.
Pattw/2tees
Member: Shelly
Location: NYC
Date: 3/28/01
Time: 11:02:14 PM
It is truly incredible that I logged on to this site after months of not visiting, and it directly applied to what I'm going through: constant worry.
Today, I was sure that I was going to get fired because my supervisor suspected that I had been drinking over my lunch hour. Of course, she would have been correct. I HAD been drinking.
So, once the 4 glasses of wine wore off, I started to fret mightly. The twist for me is, I'm actually trying to get sober. It's very hard for me and I've been to a lot of aa meetings, never doing it to the nines, however. So, I stressed and worried ALL NIGHT, waking up at odd times, even dreaming about what would go down.
But on my way to work, I finally let go and let God, if you will (don't like cliches). And I knew that if I were to get sacked or confronted today, that that would mean that my HP was telling me I shouldn't be there and should instead be somewhere else. It was very liberating.
Nothing happened at work. Everything was normal. But the experience of intense worry and the "letting go" phenomena makes me want to get sober and work the aa program more than ever. Instead of freaking out, which is my forte, I can accept that this is how it is supposed to be, and I will eventually become a successful recovering alcholic (which is seriously one of my life desires -- to be human, it's almost about the mystique of saying that. But I know that's not what to focus on. Fool's gold.)
So, it is very interesting that I went through that during a hard time in my life story as an alcoholic, and then read some great stuff here about others dealing with the exact same topic. Synergy.
Shelly NYC
Member: To Stacey S.
Location: PA Half Way House till Saturday
Date: 3/29/01
Time: 1:08:41 AM
Hi Stacey S - I have replied to you in the Coffee Pot page as we're supposed to limit our sharing to one post in this meeting page and sticking to the topic. In the CP we can share as often as want and on anything we want. Please ignore the weirdos posting sick crap in these pages. love you, Pam B.
Member: Maggie
Location: Canada
Date: 3/29/01
Time: 2:32:01 AM
My higher power passed this on to me this week. I always find it easier to surrender when i find understanding.
When God said No and Yes
I asked God to take away my pride And God said NO He said, it was not for Him to take away But for me to give it up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole And God said NO Her said, her spirit is whole, Her body is just temporary
I asked God to grant me patience And God said No He said, patience is the by-product of tribulation It isn't granted, it is earned
I asked God to give me Happiness And God said, No He said, I give you blessings Happiness is up to you
I asked God to spare me pain And God said, No He said, suffering draws you apart from worldly cares And brings you closer to me.
I asked God to make my spirit grow And God said, No He said, I must grow on my own But He would prune me to make me fruitful.
I asked God if he loves me And God said, YES He said, I let the world crucufy my son so that I would be with you one day in heaven, if you believe
I asked God to help me love others As much as he loves me And God said, Finally, you have the idea!!!!!!!!
Hang in there.
Member: charlie
Location: whittier, ca
Date: 3/29/01
Time: 10:58:40 AM
Hello, my name is charlie, i must surrendor right here, right now. I too am an alcoholic. I drank 2 pints of soco last night and just realized i better get help now, while i'm still alive. i've struggled with this sickness for a long time now, i'm only 26 .need help. happy to be here. how can i find a meeting by my home?
Member: Chris B
Location: MD
Date: 3/29/01
Time: 11:39:13 AM
Heard a good one at a meeting last night: Alcoholic says to drink: "You have cost me my job, my marriage, and my children. I have lost my self respect, the trust of others, and my love for life. I hate you!.........But I'm going to give you one more chance....."
Member: Voina
Location: Lake Arowhead, CA
Date: 3/29/01
Time: 12:16:48 PM
Charlie, look in the White Pages of the phone book for Alcoholics Anonymous. There are hundreds of meetings in your area. If you call the number in the book (Central Office of Alcoholics Anonymous) they may offer to send someone to escort you to a meeting in your area. If you get a recording, please leave a message. You will meet people who will not judge you, who will understand, and who will love you!
Member: Fletcher
Location: Scotland
Date: 3/29/01
Time: 2:08:22 PM
Greetings! I'm Fletcher and I'm an alcoholic. About four years before I got sober, someone twelve stepped me and I so clearly remember his saying "this is the only fight you'll win by throwing in the towel"; it took me ages to know what he meant, it took experience to show me what he meant, it took pain to all to show me what he meant, but I now know and the victory is ours, as long as we surrender. The paradox is that I can do everything apart from drink, tho'I haven't tried brain surgery !! I used to drink and be unable to do anything! It's a great life, may your god go with you!
Member: Kate H.
Location: Troy, NY
Date: 3/29/01
Time: 2:48:46 PM
Kate here...alcoholic. Sorry I didn't sign that post. Hit the wrong button.
Member: Kate H.
Location: Troy, NY
Date: 3/29/01
Time: 2:55:13 PM
Kate H. here, alcoholic. Guess I wasn't meant to share the drivel that I had just written and that's why it didn't appear in the window. I am having a lot of trouble surrendering to anything other than the fact that I can't drink safely and won't do it today. Powerlessness is anathema to me and that's what surrender entails in my mind. Have been kicking and screamingly sober for nearly two years now but I still am fighting the program, HP and my disease all at once. Stubborn Irish woman who unfortunately absorbed the Irish battle cry "No surrender!" with my mother's milk. Hopefully, some day I'll "get" it...some day before my disease wins again, if I'm lucky. Thanks for being here.
Member: Bill M.
Location: Southeast Georgia
Date: 3/29/01
Time: 5:46:36 PM
Bill, Alcoholic Chris in MD, that was one of the first things that made sense to me when I first got to AA (34 years ago.) Surrender isn't so bad, if you plan to stay sober, there will be many surrenders as life gets better and better and for some of us the self centeredness starts to go away, a little at the time. Thanks for the memory,
Member: dogface dave
Location:
Date: 3/29/01
Time: 6:44:13 PM
i must be honest,i woke up with a boner this
morning,i had to stroke it.
Member: JOSE
Location: LA
Date: 3/29/01
Time: 7:27:48 PM
SOME ARE SIKER THEN OTHERS
Member: Denise D.
Location: CentralGeorgia
Date: 3/29/01
Time: 8:47:49 PM
If you pray, don't worry. If you worry, don't pray. Today, my Higher Power is the driver, I sit in the dummy seat. It's just that simple.
Member: J.J.
Location: Portland, OR
Date: 3/29/01
Time: 9:18:14 PM
Hi! My name is Jean, my friends call me J.J. I am an alcoholic. I have been suggling with surrender lately myself. I am reborn again in recovery. I tend to hang to things and try to make them go they way I think they should and when they don't, I wonder how things got so messed up. That one is simple me in charge = misery. I do what I can do and leave the rest up to HP.
Member: Friendto U.
Location: KY
Date: 3/29/01
Time: 9:28:46 PM
Hello to Kate H. in Troy, NY-- I understand the trouble you are having. Please try RationalRecovery.com-- it really helped me. Best wishes!
Member: Friendto U.
Location: KY
Date: 3/29/01
Time: 9:42:38 PM
To Kate H.-- Sorry, wrong address. Try rational.org. Good luck!
Member: joesph
Location:
Date: 3/29/01
Time: 9:48:13 PM
another good recovery site is www.rotten.com
it has an odd name but a very good recovery site
none the less.
Member: VJ
Location: Southern Calif
Date: 3/30/01
Time: 1:38:18 AM
Rational Recovery is a sad place. There is no surrender there, only control. Their purpose is to defame AA and its members. Stick with the winners!
Member: David B
Location: KC,Mo
Date: 3/30/01
Time: 8:10:24 AM
HI I am David an alcoholic. My Sponsor called me back and left a mesg. don't worry I will get back with ya. Well of coarse i got to worry about this statement. Well anyways i like what the topic is and I think I worry to much of being a Failure and I get stressed out about things. well It is that I am not Trusting in God and Cleaning House It is like I am two stepping instead of 12 steps there are for me to do. Step ten the word as we cleaned up the past was mentioned to me and that is where I am. Thank God for AA Big Book and 12x12 and good standing AA members. Honesty,tolerance and true love of man and God are the daily bases of living. Pass it on!
Member: Jim W
Location: NC.
Date: 3/30/01
Time: 3:32:48 PM
Hello,I'm Jim and i'm an alcoholic. I am 37 days into this wonderful fellowship and have had the opportunity to participate in 28 meetings in four states, every encounter has truely validated that I am doing the right thing. I am insired by the honesty and care for my personal sobriety that I have met. I know that I alone own my addiction, but truely believe that with unconditonal trust in my God,and daily adherance to these principles for a better life and the shared experience of the groups, I can and will continue to find freedom from myself and for myself and family thank you.
Member: jj
Location:
Date: 3/30/01
Time: 3:35:02 PM
whats a pole smoker??
Member: jill
Location: texas
Date: 3/30/01
Time: 4:00:39 PM
I need suggestions on how to surrender this situation. I believe surrender is the answer but I am having alot of painn in this so I have not surrendered. There is a guy in the program stalking me and manipulating my boss and freinds in AA to get close to me. Its affecting my job my serenity my sanity. I want him to leave me alone at what point is that aneed or a want or justifying my selfishness. HELP.
Member: Dwight J
Location: Louisville
Date: 3/30/01
Time: 4:45:00 PM
This is a program of subtraction. The new attitude is the acceptance of what is. The old attitude was the desire for the illusion of control. If I thought it, it was true and real. I made little distinction between fantasy and reality. So in sobriety I slowly but very slowly let go of unrealistic expectationsfor the world and those around me. The fantasy world once enabled me to go on day to day and escape the overly judgemental environment that I was raised in. As an adult, fantasy fueled by alcoholenabled me to escape the rigid expectations of my own mind. Only by enunciating the expectations out loud to another human being did they lose their sway over my judgement. This face to face confrintation and acceptance of the truth freed the old expectations like the release of caged birds.......Dwight
Member: CindyG
Location: TX
Date: 3/30/01
Time: 5:15:05 PM
This is my first time with staying cyber. I have been free from alcohol for 2 days.
Member: Alfred E. N.
Location: Madson NY
Date: 3/30/01
Time: 5:46:25 PM
I see an awful lot of things in the world that can indeed promote worry! The killings go on and on in Palestine more than ever for the last six months! Now NPR tells us that some kind of solar sun-spots can and/or are disrupting all the mediums of communication in the world. If they include Personal Computers, that's nothing new, when have they ever been consistent in their mystic operations, doing as they will or won't at will. But that's not a technological problem, it's a demon problem!! How do you delete demons from a computer? This of course effects the economic gods they worship, and here we are in pink-slipishness! What do you do to eliminate this worry from your glorious existential happiness in AA? There are a multitude of pestilences going around, that can cause some burdensome concern in this area! What do you do to blot this type of data from entering into your brain? There are malignant diseases carried by animals who are butchered for food in the diets you like to feast on, as you "eat and drink," between your episodes of "buying and selling" with credit cards! If the California electric problem starts infecting all the other states, and you now work two days to pay your electric bill, what is the AA formula for rejecting this "defect of character?" Please, I pray thee, oh most exalted wizard of remedial formulas, how on this bacterial earth do you not worry about all these things? Whosoever has got the answer to all these things, do step forth and show us how not to worry! The next chapter of this post will go into the complexities versus the simplicities of paying off debt!! Stay tuned
Member: migel
Location:
Date: 3/30/01
Time: 6:04:49 PM
jill,
i have an erection can you help?
Member: JOSE
Location:
Date: 3/30/01
Time: 7:58:36 PM
I CAN HELP YOU MIGEL.
JOSE
Member: SHARON D.
Location: ATHENS, GA.
Date: 3/30/01
Time: 8:59:08 PM
I CAN'T HELP WITH SEX PROBLEMS, I HAVE ANOTHER DISEASE CALLED "LACK O' NUKIE" ANYWAY, ABOUT WORRY, THERE'S TOO MUCH TO WORRY ABOUT. TODAY, IHAVE TO LET IT GO. IF I DON'T I'LL BE SURE TO DRINK. "P.U.S.H." PRAY UNTILL SOMETHING HAPPENS. IT'S ALL I HAVE LEFT. AND TODAY, I HAVE MORE THAN I'VE EVER HAD.
Member: HAPPY Hou
Location:
Date: 3/30/01
Time: 9:00:20 PM
PamThere is a limit on how many lines you can use.15 lines or less' give everyone a chance to share. HA HA ,
Member: Happy Hour
Location: Foote Court
Date: 3/30/01
Time: 9:01:52 PM
PamThere is a limit on how many lines you can use.15 lines or less' give everyone a chance to share. HA HA ,
Member: Happy Hour
Location: Foote Court
Date: 3/30/01
Time: 9:02:46 PM
PamThere is a limit on how many lines you can use.15 lines or less' give everyone a chance to share. HA HA ,
Member: hh
Location:
Date: 3/30/01
Time: 9:08:44 PM
sharron d.,
""lack of nukie????""" i can help you out!!!!
they call me hard harry.
Member: Donna
Location:
Date: 3/30/01
Time: 10:19:39 PM
Hi everyone. I'm Donna, alcoholic. Surrendering on little issues day to day is really pretty easy for me. It's the big worries that throw me through a loop at times. I'm very close with my sponsor and have a few close recovering women that I can honestly share my fears with. Prayer and meditation is always so helpful but sometimes--most times when I'm worrying about something really significant, I really need to share w/ my sponsor and close friends. This really leads to surrendering. I find peace and a lot of times direction on what action to take. I am so greatful to God and the AA program for giving us the tools to make it through the tough times. I've been sober for 9 yrs. Not that that means much---but through the time I've been in AA, I've seen it happen over and over for myself and others---the slogan I hated to hear when I first got sober---"This too shall pass". I am responsible for the foot work---but the results are all in God's hands. Thanks everyone for sharing your Exp., strength and hope.
Member: dorthy
Location: san fagsisco
Date: 3/30/01
Time: 10:57:50 PM
it works if you work it it wont if you dont
Member: tom.r
Location:
Date: 3/31/01
Time: 1:41:03 AM
early in my sobriety i found myself in a situation and expressed some worries to my sponsor ;he asked if i prayed, i said yes . he said then DONT worry but if you insist on worry then dont pray! it took me a while but he was right.
Member: Mike M
Location: Bend,Or
Date: 3/31/01
Time: 3:58:06 AM
my name is mike and Iam a alcoholic good topic,I also had problems with surrender.I could not get the slogon (surrender to win) not until I read the story (The Professor And The Paradox) pg..336 BB 2nd Edition. Bill W shares his first surrender in (THE Language Of The Heart) pg..246 for me I have to surrender every day. some times several times a day But even today I'd rather say(let go and let God) than (surrender to win).My sponsor says if I turn it over to God and still hang on that I'm upsidedown.love to all,Mike
Member: Dan M
Location:
Date: 3/31/01
Time: 6:02:25 AM
Hi I'm Dan and I'm an alcoholic. This is the first time I've ever said this or written it so I hope it is the first step to surrendering.
Member: ADAM P
Location: UK
Date: 3/31/01
Time: 7:02:46 AM
Hi
Surrendering was my first step to putting the drink down. I became willing to go to meetings and to listen. I got a sponsor and started working the Steps. Thanks for this page because the wordn 'surrender' often doesn't figure in my vocabulary. Yet is is crucial. Today I am feeling good and trying to surrender a little more by letting go of the smoking. Step 12 tells us 'to practise these principles in ALL our affairs and that is what I am trying to do today. I have so much to live for and think that I am ready to move on.
Good luck to you all. ADAM
Member: Sharon D.
Location: Athens Ga.
Date: 3/31/01
Time: 2:39:20 PM
Hi I'm Sharon, and I'm not a very good typing Alcholic. I'm stuck at work today, but the upside is I can come here to "talk". I sometimes really hate surrenduring. But that's my disease. I'm working on it, though. Day by day. Today, it's most often easier for me to just let it go. Let God have it. He does better with my life than I do, anyway. It,s because of my Higher Power, that I can be in my 4yr. old's life today. The credit is His, not mine. Bye for now. Sharon D.
Member: Rich R, slwoly recovering compulsive person :-)
Location: Detroit
Date: 3/31/01
Time: 2:40:41 PM
Thanks Carol. Surrender. Tough one for me. I would prefer to do things my way. That way no one gets hurt! But, alas, my way doesn't seem to work, so I guess I gotta surrender and try to do things different than my way for a change. Thanks again for the topic and the great shares this week. Believe it or not, I may just do something different as a result of all this.
Member: bert
Location:
Date: 3/31/01
Time: 3:21:43 PM
sharron d,
i think i love you.
Member: Anonymous
Location:
Date: 3/31/01
Time: 5:42:23 PM
Surrender, Tis a topic I wanna tell ya is a reminder of what is the most profound love, the Love of God that leaves not a man in his depravity; One that looks down on the remembered soul He hath created to consider in the time of visitation the outcome of the same. A Love par-excelence that speaks of a hope and a future to mankind that is without knowledge of the unseen, One that because he sees not searches his heart to become, to know, to be and prosper and live on. A generation that has sought to be somewhat by his very existance. Man lifts up his eyes and looks around to behold, and says amiss, Here Am I; I shall now excercise myself to plant and become. Though he knoweth right well that what it is he sees and withal that here is and the what he has here with to do was before him, that he is in a long line of God's handiwork; Nevertheless, now he is and must come to know in the end result of his lifes undertaking that now: his glory turned to shame, he must to somehow find that he is created. How humble would a man be, who knew this or preceived this before hand who never had to presume upon himself to seek and to know, if he could look into God's hand so to speak and see, yet this is the very thing that we here are to weed out, for such knowledge makes not one humble for such were the angels who fell from their first estate. Perhaps we could say that it is God who has learned a thing or two by his creation, for now he has us purge out by surrender all that would have otherwise been against us had we not been placed in a existance before hand to know that it is indeed him that we need and can now by this very thing look back on it in the eternal life rather than look ahead to it as those that fell from their first estate. He has as it were, put the furture in the past for us that we fall not as the angles who thought the grass was better or greener apart from God. Let us be thankful for surrender in the here and now, that we no longer have such wandering eyes in the life to come seeing that it is now behind us rather than before us Thanks be unto God~....
Member: L.A. ROXX
Location: MADTOWN, WI
Date: 3/31/01
Time: 9:02:02 PM
SURRENDER IS A GREAT TOPIC DUE TO I HAD TO LET A PATIENT OF MINE WALK OUT OF TREATMENT TODAY. IT IS VERY HARD FOR ME, OUT OF MY CONTROL. THIS ONE IS FOR GOD AND HE CAN TAKE CARE OF IT. I WILL SURRENDER TO HIM, HE WILL CARE FOR HER.WHEN SHE IS READY SHE WILL COME BACK AND I CAN PLANT ANOTHER SEED IN HER THEN, FOR NOW IT IS IN GOD'S HANDS.
Member: jj
Location:
Date: 3/31/01
Time: 9:25:09 PM
what kind of seeds are we planting?????????
Member: Jim G.
Location: Hagerstown
Date: 3/31/01
Time: 11:00:56 PM
Surrender is first in my sobriety. First thing every day I say, "I wonder what surprise my Higher Power has fo me today." And then I get out of the way surrendering to the will of my Higher Power, letting go of my longings because He's gonna have His way in spite of me.Of course, I try to retract my surrender because I don't really love and trust my Higher Power who is so good to me. So I ask him to be an instrument or agent of his love. And He does let me do some loving thing for others.And I realize he has let me surrender for which I am thankful.
Member: time check
Location:
Date: 3/31/01
Time: 11:58:43 PM
set your clocks forward tonite
Member: Tom M.
Location: Homosassa Florida
Date: 4/1/01
Time: 12:40:07 AM
Surrender, We all hate to admit that is what we must do, but we SHOULD all know it is almost the first thing we must do sincerely. Of course the FIRST thing is to sincerely admit we are powerless over Alchol. That our lives have become disasters,but we really want to do something about it. So thank GOD who is my higher POWER and thank Him for the People in A.A. Then surrender to the steps and a A.A. Program. God Bless You All and Good Night or Good Morning. Tom M.
Member: Mad E.
Location: Texas
Date: 4/1/01
Time: 1:25:13 AM
Surrender can be most difficult when one constantly fights for control. I am an alcoholic who has been unable to surrender my will to a higher power. I read the B.B. daily, pray often. Any suggestions?
Member: Time C
Location:
Date: 4/1/01
Time: 4:20:39 AM
time check
Member: "sign"
Location:
Date: 4/1/01
Time: 5:59:00 AM
Geez, I wish they would start the new page cause I got a topic I want ome feedback on...