Member: chris g
Location: thetford mines,Cdn
Date: 2/27/00
Time: 9:54:25 PM

Comments

Hi!my name is chris 'n I'm an alcoholc,first time here.Happy 365 JennieM!!I can't go out for meetings so getting on this is "my next best thing".What Malou feels is pretty much how I feel.Almost 3yrs,no sponsor and not much meeting,at least I still work but other than,I'm grateful for the reply fromDoris,reading all the postings puts things in a different lite!!THANK YOU ALL'Have a good 24.(I just got online,sorry about possible mistakes)


Member: Mike L.
Location: Minnesota, USA
Date: 2/27/00
Time: 9:55:21 PM

Comments

Good Evening, Hope I'm not stepping on anyone else's post... Just wondering how others deal with powerlessness in regards to the workplace. Especially in managerial positions or stressful service occupations. Thanks! Peace, Mike L.


Member: Misha B.
Location: Dallas
Date: 2/27/00
Time: 10:35:43 PM

Comments

Hey Mike, great topic. Stressful service occupations: my drinking was heaviest when I was a counselor and managing several corporate counseling accounts. Now I am still in a service position but the difference is my profession is not my Higher Power and it was then. I needed my credentials to bolster my weak ego, and since I was in control (heh-heh) I burned out bad. Being sober today and trusting in God 24 hrs at a time is the beginning for me to a healthy work life. Have a Great Week!


Member: jenifer d
Location: england swings
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 12:42:27 AM

Comments

Sorry Mike, I don't agree that this is a good topic. Lots of us are not in the work place or service positions and now we have a whole week of discussion over something that we cannot relate to. I suspect that for a lot of us, being in the workfield is would be a wonderful thing! What happened to the post about dealing with prescribed drugs? That could be something that we will all have to deal with sometime


Member: Mike L.
Location: Back to the CP for me
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 2:12:37 AM

Comments

Okay, I unsubmit the topic Jennifer. Feel free to pick something that relates to YOUR sobriety.

Right now, I'm looking at returning to my profession, which happens to be corporate management, and that happened to be on my mind. It'll be a different ball game for me, since I'm now sober and in AA.

I think it's unfortunate that you'd rather talk about prescription drugs than AA in the workplace, but feel free to pick a topic more to YOUR liking.


Member: JerryL
Location: Sacto.,Calif.
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 2:19:46 AM

Comments

Jerry here, alcholic. Mike I know how stressful it can be to be in a management position and reconcile the principles the AA program teaches us with the job. I was constantly wrestling with my conscience and I had to take breaks and talk to God about whose will I was doing and whether I was doing the right thing. Email me at JLONG@jps.net if you would like to discuss this more.


Member: ken l.
Location: idaho
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 2:29:43 AM

Comments

Hi am ken been around several years but have been struggling big time. Don't know how this works first time. But I thought if I could some how open up here maybe I could begin to open up in Real AA meetings. I know alot of people care about me and are worried but I just cann't let go, my job is in trouble because I'm depressed and have missed a lot of work. Stuck in self and dieing and it's sucks when you've seen a differant way.


Member: Edie R.
Location: Lancaster S.C.
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 2:58:31 AM

Comments

Mike, I am not in management however stress in my workplace is a problem for me at times also. I think it's a great topic.I don't get mad easily,but when I do get mad I am very angry. Twice in the last 2 weeks I really lost my cool at work. I work 12 hour shifts,just pulled 36 hours in 3 days, and that alone causes me stress.I try hard to keep my serenity and most days I do well.I go into work and there's a problem on the job I tell my boss,I go in the next, same problem, on the third day same problem again then I am really mad.If perhaps I could have only been a little mad the first and second day I would not blow the third. I have a tendency to stuff my feelings. This may not be the same as you are talking about but I need to say it. I feel like when my spiritual part of my program is in tack I can endure so much more. To pray more and talk about my feelings instead of stuffing them helps me a lot. Then when I get off of work I do something that I enjoy.I even have my favorite meetings to go to.

Thanks and have a great day, Edie


Member: barry
Location: ontario
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 6:40:07 AM

Comments

hi my name is barry and i'm an alcoholic. i'm not exactly sure that i now what the topic is this week. Is it "powerless in regards to the workplace" and "stressful service occupation"? I can relate to that topic but jennifer is probably right about scope of the topic. I'm easy.


Member: Fred M
Location: MD
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 7:08:16 AM

Comments

I'm Fred and I'm an alcoholic. Thanks, Mike, for the great topic. I've been in a string of high stress jobs since I stopped drinking in 1979, and do not have all the answers. Sometimes I lay awake at night, worry endlessly, and have irrational fears concerning my job. After all, I'm an alcoholic. However, I'm better than I used to be, and there are some things I do which help. I try to take a major break from the work place at mid day. I have found that this is almost always within my control, if I place high importance on it. There is almost never something going on that is more important than this break. During that time, I exercise and pray. It seems like this combination evens me out and gives me perspective. When I absolutely cannot get away from my work site for hard exercise, I at least try to take a few minutes at mid day to talk to my higher power. In these prayers, I ask for guidance, thank him for the opportunity to serve, give thanks for all of the blessings he has sent me, and thank him again for keeping me sober. If there is a particular person or event troubling me, I ask for guidance on how to handle the situation.

At night, I follow the 11th step guidance from the Big Book on how to pray at the end of the day. I do this immediatly before I go to sleep. If I cannot sleep, or wake up at night, I try to take myself to one of a few peaceful places I have been and try to imagine I am actually there instead of where I am. It usually works. When all else fails, I remind myself that no one ever died from lack of sleep and do my best at work the next day. When talking to my bosses, I try to educate them on powerlessness and control. I tell them that we can only do the right things as an organization and that there are events and actions by other organizations we cannot control. I try to do the same when I am dealing with those entrusted to me for supervision, and for sure, I try through my management style not to add to their stress levels. I try to work for organizations where there is great honesty and integrity. When those don't exist, I as an alcoholic am put in a situation where it is impossible to strive for absolute honesty. I try to understand that God has given me options, and that I don't have to stay in an unhealthy situation. This mental attitude of choice and flexibility is a stress reliever; I don't have to stay here, I am doing it because I choose to.

These are some of the things that help me with stress at the job. Thanks for letting me share. Love, Fred At work, I try to work the 12 steps with each stressful situation that arises. I try to remind myself that I can only control my own behaviour and the things I do, not everyone elses.


Member: Bob H.
Location: Triangle Club,South Bend,In.
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 7:50:27 AM

Comments

Hi I"m Bob alcoholic;powerlessin management ,I've been in business for myself now for 27yrs truthfuly ,I was into active alcoholism and did"t know it the first 7 yrs until I got to this program and found out that I am an alcoholic.Today I still have the same business however I have put my God first this program begining with step 1 applying it in all areas iof my life and rememberin he is in charge and the director in all areas of my life even in and with my business.He is my business partner i"m not alone and I don"t even make decisions alone.I practice doing what i"m suppose to do for my recovery and try and do the best I can in my position and remember to let him handle the rest .I find when I"m not doing that I"m trying to do his job.And then I"m back at step 2. I go to step 3 and things start getting better for me again.I find out that communication with my partner working the steps going to alot of meetings makes my position whith the company alot less stresful not easey but it works for me.I always hear what I need to hear to do what I"ve got to do.I"ts in the big book also.My first sponser told me th salotion to all my problems is in this program. If I was haveing a problem it is something I"m not doing that god and this program suggest that I do or I"M doing something it tells me not to .Usualy for me I'm not doing what I'm suppos to do .Thing with my business don"t look to good for me right now but I don"t seem to be stressed out over it <thank you God>I know it"S ALL IN HIS HANDS.Thanks for the topic Thank you all for being here for me ,because without you all there wouldn"t be me I wouldn"t have any thing to work on or the partner I have to work with.


Member: Robert
Location:
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 9:16:58 AM

Comments

Stress in the workplace and how to deal with the conflicts that arise is a great topic. I personally have been in a very stressful career for about 17 years and I believe that it has directly led to my drinking problem. I'm coming back in the program now and how to deal with the conflicts that ultimately arise is very much on my mind.

I travel extensively throughout the US in a high tech sales management position. This very often puts me in situations where drinking is prominent. Whether that's internal company meetings or dinners with clients or drinks with colleagues or simply me alone in a hotel room. It has got to the point(again) that I can't go on without causing myself severe problems and I have to stop. The conflict is, do I continue in this work environment or do I get out? Or if I stay with this, which is very lucrative, how do I handle the conflicts? Finally, I am the sole breadwinner for my family and realistically, I have to think about their support. If I change careers there will need to be major changes in their lives as well. To date, I have been fortunate in that I have performed very well at work and the drinking has not been an issue. However, I do suspect that others are aware of the problem even though I hide it pretty well.

What I'm asking for is guideance and sharing from others that have similar situations. I know that there are many others out there that can offer advice. Thank you for allowing me to share.


Member: Steve
Location: Washington
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 9:37:46 AM

Comments

Mike L, your topic is very appropriate and I appreciate your bringing it to the forefront. As you can see, others think it is a good topic also. So please stay with us.

Jenifer D, when you are first online you can pick a topic of your own. And remember, this site is a discussion meeting and can be on any topic chosen. Your comment to Mike about it not being a good topic is out of line. Besides who are you to determine whether it is a good or bad topic. As I last recall, AA has no leaders, only servants. If you don't have anything to share on this particular topic then wait until next week when a new topic is chosen or go to the coffee pot or the 12 step meeting but don't come on here and discourage other members because you don't like the topic. There are many times I don't care for topic of the week either. I just don't share for that week when that happens. How about you do the same!


Member: Mary K
Location: Boston
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 9:53:07 AM

Comments

Hi everyone! Mary - alcoholic.

I can relate to both topic suggestions so I guess I'll touch a on both.

I worked in a very stressful industry (stocks / securities) for over 10 years. People and THEIR money = stress. What I first had to come to grips with is that not everyone plays by our "rules": the 12 steps. That is just the way it is "out there". Didn't like it - still don't like it but had to accept it. I found the most effective way to communicate to clients and/or employees was to NEVER be condescending. I know I dispise it when being talked down to. Another biggie was to STAY OUT OF OFFICE GOSSIP. This art had to be developed. It ain't easy since it is everywhere. I did not put people down for partaking in gossip but I did not partake myself. If anything I would try to add a positive about the "subject of the moment" - (even if I did not particularly like that person myself)- that usually shuts 'em right up. And then go about my business.

Prescription drugs: There are MANY alternatives to ADDICTIVE prescription drugs. I martyred myself for 10 years - held to belief that I would be "chewing my booze". I have suffered from depression my whole life - when it came down to the men in the white coats / blowing my brains out or accepting help - well I chose life. For me that meant anti-depressants. Suffer if you want - I did it for 10 years and am not willing to suffer any longer. AGAIN - there are MANY alternatives to addictive drugs - ask.

Sorry so long - my love to all - Mary.


Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 10:45:32 AM

Comments

at work..i don't run the show people have the right to make their own mistakes .i do whats in front of me to do,and try to do it the best i can.stay out of gossip is the best advice i've heard..but you really have to stay out of it,no gosssip.i try to be humble in many occations,i try to listen more than speaking,and the work results are an action ,that will speak for themselves....some times i do say a prayer on the job thanking God for allowing me to be productive and employed .i try to remember the ,just for today poem,i will be agreeable,look as well as i can,not be a mental loafer,and if my feelings are hurt i will not show it...things get better and better staying sober...then they get better again and again...thanks for listening ,i'm tony i'm an alcoholic,a couple of years sober ,thanks to aa ,and God.


Member: Donna M.
Location: Muskogee
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 10:56:33 AM

Comments

Hi all first time here. Im Donna and I am an alcoholic. Life on lifes terms and staying in these 24 is how I try to live my life. I also try to stay grateful for what I have.thanks. Donna


Member: RA
Location: NM
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 11:02:50 AM

Comments

How wonderful to see alcholics having a problem just agreeing on a topic! Let's not take ourselves too seriously for today ok. Remember, that problems of this world and the workplace must be kept in perpective, if we put our priority in our higher power, or God as I like to call it, we can't go wrong...we are being looked after, don't get caught up too much in worldly problems, but put your energies into that which will last an eternity, your soul. Treat others that don't know how to work together as sick people, and try to be an example. first things first, and sobriety is far more important than impressing a boss or making a deadline.


Member: Mike L.
Location: Minnesota, USA
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 11:38:28 AM

Comments

Good Morning! Just finished reading some of the posts here, and I'm very grateful to all of you for the great input. I'm saving this on disk for future reference, to read when things get stressful.

Peace, Mike L.

P.S. MARY - You're not the only one on AD meds!


Member: Stanley B
Location: Delaware
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 11:40:57 AM

Comments

Hello, Stan here and am alcoholic. I agree with Steve from, WA that Mike L's topic is quite alright. Jenifer D, perhaps you should try being first next week and pick the topic then.

I must disagree, however, with RA from NM. Let's face it, we all live in a real world with worldly problems. We all have to make a living in order to support ourselves and we all have to face the reality that NOT everyone has the benefit of a program like AA. So, I am sorry to disagree with you RA to a point. While I agree that we must keep our job and workplace issues in percpective and not get so caught up with impressing someone, I don't agree that we should minimize the realities of what we face in everyday life and/or our work. To sit there and say that we should not take these things seriously because our HP is going to take care of things is somewhat irresponsible. Our livlihoods, jobs, careers or whatever ARE serious and like anything else, this program included, we must work hard to make it work for us.

Mike L, the workplace is not an easy environment but one that is a fact of life. There are no magic answers for the stresses of work or career, but there is something we alkies have as a tool to get through those tough times. It is found in step 11. Meditation and prayer. While we cannot change others in our workplace, we can work on a relationship that brings peace and joy to our inner souls. I find that step 11 does that for me. So don't worry so much about how your work is affecting you in a stressful way, but look to a time in each day to relax and talk to your Higher Power. It is truly stress relieving and often times, in those quiet moments, the answers come.

Not all things get perfect when we get sober. Work is one of them. This program teaches us how to live booze free in the realities of this world. It does not teach us to go off and live in some fantasy world and shut the door on the rest. Good luck to you Mike, you are one of the lucky one's to have this program.

Thank you for letting me be here again this week.

Stanb2001@aol.com


Member: RA
Location: NM
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 11:54:19 AM

Comments

Stan, thanks for the reality check. to address the topic rather than fanasize it away, i'd say one of the stresses i'd like to talk about was giving up the 'barroom' sessions that used to occur weekly after work with much of the management and other guys i work with. This was really a no-brainer, i have no business conducting business in a bar (some sales types might, and this might be very difficult). At first people kept bugging me to show up but soon realized i was no longer part of that scene, and everyone knows what i am even if they don't fully understand it. some people still tell me to have a beer for them as I;m leaving work, and I just smile. When I get too stressed at work, either due to work or personal stress, and I have, I take time off, that's a luxury not all could afford,..i've taken time off without pay when i just couldn't add work to my mental load, other times work is an excellent distraction from the committee of distruction in my head. the idea of the lunch break away from jobsite is a good one too, i often drive off to get a bite to eat by myself, run errands or whatever during my break, gives me time to cool down. Also take several private breaks during the day to talk to God. just remember, never write a memo when you are angry....it will come back to haunt you. i also, and i don't suggest this for everyone depending on their situation and the personalities involved, told my supervisor i was an alcoholic of my own determination, that i had quit and that it is sometimes difficult. luckily for me his father was a problem drinker and he can relate..have yet to get chewed out for spending a few spare work moments on this site. best wishes to all.


Member: Norman L
Location: Boston
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 12:35:49 PM

Comments

I am having a hard time faceing up to my drinking .I know i need help I do try but i seem to fall back on the booz i need help i take drugs from the Dr. but my will is strong when it comes to drinking .I live alone i'm retired and have AIDS so i have nothing but free time this is where the problem is .I need help .My e mail is q-orbit@nii.net


Member: Tom P.
Location: NE IOWA
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 2:16:57 PM

Comments

Name is Tom and I'm an alcoholic. My problem is not my job, not my wife, not my kids. My problem is me. I have one of those magic magnifying minds that Dr. Paul O. talks about in his story in the B.B. I create my own stress by how I perceive my job, my wife, my life. When I believe that I'm in control of any situation I automatically assume the stress associated with the situation. The best thing I can do is let go of this supposed control ie. turn it over to my higher power. Then try my best to believe that everything is happening just the way it is supposed to be happening. Since the topic of meds has come up I spent 6 years in AA working steps with sponser,going to meetings, reading the B.B, Praying and Meditating, sponsering others,etc. Finally reached my emotional bottom and realized with a doctors help that I had chronic depression (since about the age of 16), been on meds for 7 years and have enjoyed 7 years of relative happy sobriety. Everybody, take a deep breath and let go!!!


Member: RICK
Location: ALBERTA,CANADA
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 2:46:28 PM

Comments

RICK HERE IT is only with the help of GOD, the 12 steps, listening to others that I LEARN how to handle every day sitiution including stress in our lives wether it is at work or at home.THE BIG BOOK tells me that exceptence of life on lifes terms,I will have a day of contented sorbrity. THIS IS NOT EASY yOU SEE sometimes I think I know best.When that happens my stress level rises and I DO NOThave contented sobrity.It is only when I allow GOD to show me and I listen to others, I WILL progress. I have much too learn. THANKYOU FOR ALLOWING ME TO CONTRIBUTE TO THIS TOPIC


Member: Joe M
Location: W.P.B. Florida
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 4:34:22 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm joe and I have Alcoholism

Mike, thanks for the excellent topic! I work in the Civil Engineering field and while I'm not considered management, I do supervise teams of varying amounts of people on any given project. But managing people has never been a problem for me. For me it has always been the everyday tasks and mundain part of work that gets to me.

I know how I used to handle this; it was 6 or 8 beers in the morning, 4 at noon then as many as I could handle in the evening.

Today, sober, i'm at work every day. I stay at work all day. And I actually accomplish some work throughout the day. I know that this is my Higher and the program at work in me. I'm blessed to have had the same job for the last fifteen years. They've stuck by me even through six treatment centers and umteeen detox's.

I guess today I handle stress with prayer and I try to make the mundain a little more exciting by taking on new chalenges or trying to improve an existing task.

Thanks for letting me share.

joem_33461@yahoo.com


Member: barry
Location: ontario
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 5:23:30 PM

Comments

I used to deal with job related stree, dealing with the public, by remembering that I had that bottle of rye waiting for me when I got home. It would be half gone within half an hour and then I would coast into oblivion on the other half. I'd get up in the morning and do it all over again. The trouble started when I started drinking before going to work. One thing led to another and here I am. After one week and one day of sobriety and with some help from some supportive friends, I'm learning to take it easy, relax, breathe deep and be grateful that I have the job that I have. I'm moved my office into my home, cut down on my clientele, do everything on my own and at a slower pace. I'm getting control of my life---without alcohol. Thanks for sharing.


Member: Perry A.
Location: SC
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 5:44:08 PM

Comments

Hi Perry, another organizational alcoholic here!

Mike L., a great topic, "dealing with powerlessness in the workplace." We only spend most of our adult lives at our jobs, whether that is at work, looking for work, or at home working. Getting sober, for this AA means living sober too.

I feel that both the proposed topics were what I was needing to address, and for some reason, I was reluctant to write on either, which means I really ought to act on something and share, so here goes.

Managing stress in the work place is a constant and related topic to my sobriety. I spend the majority of my life at work, and as a result, most of my stress starts there too.

Last week we were talking about doing the next right thing. My work life goes great, when I'm focused on doing right things. However, if I'm caught up in my stuff, self absorbed, like lately, doing the next right thing is not on the forefront of my mind, and that's not really good for me or my job. That's were the steps come in, and I must admit, I haven't inventoried some of my work issues lately, or more accurately, I've put them off which is worse. I usually inventory stuff that's eating me up. For example, my recent boss left and I got his job, he told me there's a glass ceiling at this place, and suggested I split if I wanted to grow in my career. Great! To top it off, I am pissed at our corporate VP. Why, because he passed me over for an obvious promotion. I feel the lame nut is ancient, doesn't really care about growing our business, he's ready to retire, and he can't see what's in front of his face. He just lost us a collective 200 million bucks, and our company is in jeopardy, and to top it off, he only works 20 hours a week, so how would he know if there is someone that can fit the bill and pull things around. Geez, guess I know why I didn't want to write, I guess I have a few issues about this topic.

...Oh well, I took action, went in and offered to head-up our region, but he's stuck on hiring a certified engineer, and hoping the person can manage. Great plan, not. I'm pissed off. My ego's insulted, again, and I think I can do better, so I'm applying for jobs at other places. But, "I am powerless over this guy's outlook," and can only work on bringing my house in order.

Now I that I just took the "other guy's inventory," which I just loved doing by the way, I know get to do my own. Where have I been self-seeking, selfish, dishonest, or fearful, and acted on it? While I have a reputation, at work, for always getting it done when no one else can, there is plenty room for personal improvement. Let's see, I have been discouraged and pouty, as if anyone can't tell this. I often set my own hours so I will show up late, and leave late. This doesn't do me any favors. I sometimes spend too much time on the internet, like now, am not quite as productive on a day to day basis as I should be, and take too many floppy disks home without returning them. Okay, not Mr. perfection again, so if I want to bitch, I have a few things to fix in my life, also. Why is this crap important for me to deal with, because if I don't, I won't know where I stand, and if I'm in quick sand, I better know it, and why, before I'm in over my head. A fast way to get drunk is to deny I need to do the steps in all of my affairs, including my work or home life.

Not trying to control others, either above me or below me, is pretty difficult for this AA, and requires I ask for God's will on a daily basis. I just love to tell CEOs where to go, and am pretty good at it, but am so damn insecure, it is amazing I can function at times. What a combo, invincible skitterishness.

When I do the steps, I end up focusing on what is next, and on making preferable outcomes probable. Shaping a successful environment, doing my work, and managing the factors that I contribute to accomplishing my personal and organizational goals, while building up the people who I come in contact with on a daily basis, is a good day for me. This happens when I am first on track with my program.

Fred M., yeah, I commiserate at night too. I think my mind gets into creative whatif'n exercises when I relax and hit the hay, and I usually have to surrender that stuff to get decent sleep. I agree that "I try through my management style not to add to other's stress levels," cause if I'm adding to the negative stress around me, I'm in the problem and not in the solution.

Okay jenifer d. Statistics show that more people are dying every year from complications due to prescription drug use and abuse. The national numbers are huge, and are almost as high as the number of alcoholics in prison. I know, funny but true. Drugs are marketed to us as the solution to life. You pissed take a pill, tired take a pill, sad take a pill, fat take a pill, skinny another, and another, and another. All I can say is, before I got here, I would have loved the "drop it culture" we now live in. Check your local meeting hall. I'll bet up to 25 percent of the people at a meeting may be on some form of mood altering substance, such as Prosac that is prescribed to them by some GP or clinical specialist. But don't blame AA, check your neighborhood and you'll see the numbers are just as high and climbing.

I have to ask, have I taken a drug as an easy solution when I could have gotten through it without chewable booze? This is truly an individual choice, and honesty is based on one's own integrity. This is "not" something I feel comfortable in telling someone to do or not in AA. I don't turn over my will to doctors, I surrender it to my HP. If I have cancer, I'd pray, and then I'd also listen to my medical help and take whatever advice made the best sense. If I were in pain, I'd take pain pills "until I didn't need them any more." If I were in a severe clinical depression, guess what, I'd probably go for Prosac, or whatever wouldn't kill me and could get me back. If I were just sad, unhappy, slightly over or under weight etc, I would try my best to work it out before doing any pills. If I had an allergic reaction to a pill, I'd drop it like a hot fork. The point I'm trying to make here is these are choices in my life, and I just have to make sure I'm not substituting the steps with booze or pills. I trust in my HP, and know the right answers will come, and I'll know in my heart if it is the right answer or not. Whatever I do may not be the same course of action that someone else will take to live their life in a healthy and happy way.

Perry Out!


Member: jenifer d
Location: england swings
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 6:14:18 PM

Comments

MIKE L, check the coffee pot. STEVE,WASH. point taken


Member: Kathy L.
Location: Texas
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 7:09:28 PM

Comments

Kathy L. Sugarland, tx

First time on and I really appreciate the discusssion. For those of you who have never heard of it...I base what I have to say on a Course in Miracles..

Mike...I definitely appreciate your position.. I am a nurse and have to deal with management when I went to school and love to take care of children in the hospital. Their health is my primary goal. When management approaches me with other issues that concern them, and not my goal,I simply continue to take care of the children. God is faithful to keep His purpose in my heart and mind (He will do the same for all of you,too)..I approach everything with love in my heart and do not sway from the fact that love and daily peace are my goals. Whoever tries to interrupt those goals gets left by the wayside. Remember that He does NOT abandon you EVER!

Kathy


Member: Alvin A.
Location:
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 7:11:15 PM

Comments

Alvin, recovering alcoholic and addict. Regarding the medication topic... I've been on chewable alcohol for much of my supposed 'recovery', so the purists would say i'm not recovering, well guess what, I don't drink, don't get beligerent, don't wreck my car, don't cheat on my woman, don't risk arrest, don't fight, don't DWI, and don't do a lot of the things alocohol made easy, and guess what, I don't drink. I have to work, there are people depending on me for income, if i don't sleep and get excessively depressed and lay away in bed thinking about blowing my brains out, i'm better off on meds. Had a purist friend in AA take me to meetings when I was on the verge of a mental breakdown, suffering from acute anxiety and going through withdrawel from tranquilizers.... i finally called my doctor and got on med's, then off at the RIGHT time, under medical supervision, and it saved my life. Anti-depressants aren't addictive, but do have re-bound depression effects they tell me if you don't taper off. Tranquilizers are addictive and I wouldn't recommend them to anyone, , that's for a medical doctor to decide. He can only make a good decision if he know's you are an alcoholic....and whilst alcoholism isn't a valium deficiency (i wasnt taking valium by the way, though I have....whew wouldn't want to get strung out on that) For this alcoholic, i have sought help through the medical profession. Maybe it's an easier softer way, but I'm still alive, still have my job, still function and have found that workiing the program in my life, once stabilized by medication, allowed me to get off the medication when it was the right time, I didn't escalate my dosage, didn't abuse the substance, and found it easy to taper off and be clean, though I admit I had to return to med's again and am back to tapering off, a cycle that must end if i am to reach true sobriety.. I think if you can do it without medication, you are better off, and my goal is to be med free, although perhaps the antidepressants (paxil in my case) do not seem to have a very dramatic effect and perhaps are doing good, it's certainly non-addictive and the goal in my case is to be off that also when my Dr, who is a professional, knows i'm an alcoholic, and knows the studies and statistics, feels I should. Of course he could be a quack, and truthfully probably doesn't know as much about alcoholism as an alcoholic would, after all, as it says in the BB, we've lied to the medical profession for years. I can say one thing, my old DR used to prescribe me antacid stuff (heavy duty) for heartburn, when the cause was excessive consumption of wine. no wine, no heartburn, so he was wrong, and never had the guts to ask me about my drinking. I want to say finally, that I don't advise anyone to take the narcotic variety of tranquilizers, they are truly a form of chewable alcohol, but without some of the immediate bad effects....if it keeps you from losing your job or blowing your brains out or your friends brains out, it just may be a good thing, but not in general. but some situations warrant even heavy sedation for a while....discuss medication with a good doctor, and if you can make it without it do it, but don't disregard the help a doctor can give. And don't take medical advice from a plumber. In my experienced view tranq's are an easier softer way that doesn't lead to the sobriety you are really seeking, but could save your life.....don't know what more to say, suspect a lot of criticism from some of you, that's ok, it's good, If you go to a doctor, for gosh sakes TELL HIM YOU ARE AN ALCOHOLIC, and make sure he understands what that means, many don't. Just an honest sharing of my experience, if not my strength....


Member: Kathy L.
Location: texas
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 7:59:59 PM

Comments

In response to Alvin A....everyone does what they have to do and trusting in a GOOD doc is part of recovery.. The problem I have, as a nurse is the fact that wholistice medicine is left out of the equation.

There are several reports on GOOD and SAFE herbalist meds that help all of us...Sam e is new on the market and I have personally benefitted. Kava is another herbal remedy.

The major problem with drugs such as Paxil and Prozac is that they are toxic to the liver of an alcoholic. We have already done major damage to this vital organ and these meds are excreted by the liver. Please do research and make your own decision. The reason that M.D.'s don't tell you about them is that they get kick backs from the drug companies and these wholist herbs do no provide them with any extra cash. I am there with you and understand what it takes to get through the withdrawal and anxiety. Did you know that calcium and magnesium or the cascade of B vitamins provide you with lessened anxiety also? Let's try the natural versions first...O. K.

Kathy


Member: John L.
Location: South Bend ,Ind.
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 9:38:39 PM

Comments

Hi my name is john alcohol frest time here i love to be sobor thank you.


Member: John L.
Location: South Bend ,Ind.
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 9:40:40 PM

Comments

Hi my name is john alcohol frest time here i love to be sobor thank you.


Member: Sherry M
Location: Placerville  CA
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 10:47:29 PM

Comments

Sherry, Alcoholic. Well great to be here. Really appreciate the topic(Both). My job is home with kids in home school and work in home office for husband. VERY stressful at times. Quitting is not option so must find a way to cope! Life in it's self is a job though isn't it? Just coping with the day to day stuff that comes down the pipe. Some is good, some is BOLOGNA!! It's where ever your at for the moment.

I remeber when I first came to AA. I was told to look for the similarities and not the differences. Can take a little of most everything that was said and the rest is for someone else. CAUSE GUESS WHOS IN THE HOUSE!!

Been struggling with depression and have hit a hard bottom. Cry much and laugh little. Just a phase I guess. Am becoming willing to do what it takes with the suggestions of the program. But, am unsure about the medicinal part. Am still lifting that in prayer. Have fear that while the pill is fixing one thing it may be damaging another. Am trying some herbal remedies right now, but have committment that if this does not work after resonable time and I have worked out this ever loving RESENTMENT!! (With the principles of this program)then it will be time to go to my doctor. Thank you for being here for me. Love in Christ


Member: Ricky D.
Location: Maine
Date: 2/28/00
Time: 11:05:14 PM

Comments

Looks to me like there are two kinds of drugs in this discussion: chemicals, and stress. I'm 20 years sober in this program, and have been 100% clean the whole time -- I haven't used aspirin or cold meds, never mind the stuff you've been on! But I did use stress for a long time -- stressful relationships; stressful jobs; whatever crises I could survive. I didn't do this on purpose, I did it because I didnn't know there was any other way to live. I thought stress was simply part of life on life's terms. I was dead wrong, and I'm lucky I lived. Living life on life's terms means recognizing what I cannot change, and having faith that I don't have to live like that. I can just say no, and it doesn't matter if I'm understood. It is much better to understand than to be understood; and as long as I understand, I can protect myself. That doesn't mean I don't ever fight for what I know is right -- it only means I don't make a carreer out of it. I save it for what is vital, and now that I'm sober, it's amazing what happens when I feel the need to put all of my energy into something. But then it's done. And I go back to peace and serenity and things that are fun and interesting. That's why I like to go to meetings, because they bring me back to basics, and what is truly important in life. Within just a few minutes of sitting at a meeting, I feel peaceful, and I try to live for that feeling.


Member: Chuck m
Location: Alberta
Date: 2/29/00
Time: 3:04:43 AM

Comments

Most of my working career was done without a higher power so gut wrenching stress was my constant companion. After doing the steps and practising step 11 my last few years were almost a joy.

I learned in step 4 that the symptons of my insanity were selfishness, dishonesty, self-seeking and fear. These caused all my misery.

Step 11 showed me that by trying to improve my concious contact with God was how I eliminate the negative charateristics. This is my lifeline.

On page 86&87 it tells me that if I do that, that God gave me brains to use. I am convinced that each one of us has the necessary life skills to live our lives just by keeping close to God. They emerge as if by magic.

In thinking about our day we may face indecision, here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought and we relax and take it easy. With experience intuitive thinking becomes a working part of our brain. This is not theory I can attest that it works.

It also tells me what to do when I become agitated and doubtful. I found this works and when I paused and talked to my God the rest of the day was more productive.

The only trouble with this way of living was that it went against all my instincts and training. Now I know what old ideas I had to give up.

I would sum up by saying each oneof you have the brains to do your work with less stress if you can believe that keeping close to God is the answer.

AS far as drugs are concerned I am not a Doctor. If I go to a doctor, I inform him that I am an alcoholic and accept his treatment. If he does not understand alcoholism I would get another doctor. I don't listen to AA members on medical problems unless they are a doctor.

Peace and Serenity to all.


Member: Susan L
Location: Ca.
Date: 2/29/00
Time: 3:26:01 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Susan and I'm an alcoholic. First time for me here, I appreciate the honest sharing and freedom to disagree and the freedom to share as we see things. I'm unable to work due to physical problems and I suffer from depression. It's good to know I'm not alone, thank you all for sharing!


Member: Dean S
Location: Phoenix, Az
Date: 2/29/00
Time: 4:08:10 AM

Comments

Hi! My name is Dean and I'm an alcoholic.

When the stress level is higher than the space shuttle I grab my earlobes and pray "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. And God, I pray for knowledge of your will for me in this situation, and the power to carry that out. Your Will be done. Use me as an instrument to bring peace and calm to this situation.".

It has worked for me --- if you try it, I hope it will work for you. Been some good stuff on this subject. Good luck, Mike.

Thanks for an opportunity to share.

Thanks for your love. Thanks for my life. Dean


Member: barry
Location: ontario
Date: 2/29/00
Time: 7:25:55 AM

Comments

TO Alvin A.: I agree with your reference to the fact that we've lied to the medical profession for years. My doctor asked me once how much money I spent on alcohol a week. I told him I spent about $20.00.


Member: Marty F.
Location: Illinois
Date: 2/29/00
Time: 9:30:23 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Marty F. and I thank God I'm a recovering alcoholic. I work as a House Manager at a refuge for chronic drug and alcohol abusers.

I am very fortunate because while the job is stressful it is also very beneficial to my recovery.

Coping with the various personalities, illnesses, quirks, demands, etc. of the residents is stressful. But at the same time, seeing their conditions/situations lends new meaning to the term "But for the grace of God, there goes I". It is a humbling experience and I am grateful for it.

There are other stresses in the job but so far the serenity prayer has served me well.

Yours in sobriety, Marty F.


Member: carol c
Location: w-wv
Date: 2/29/00
Time: 1:59:40 PM

Comments

thanks for letting me visit your discussion again for substance abuse class.


Member: Catherine W
Location: Ramona, CA
Date: 2/29/00
Time: 3:49:08 PM

Comments

Catherine here, grateful alcoholic.

On the subject of Meds....First to the NEWCOMERS...no where in the book is it stated that we do not use meds. In fact it says "We do not belittle the pysicians and psychiatrists who treat us." Paraphrased of course from pg.133.

Many sober people have black and white vision when it comes to medication. Some won't even take an asprin, which is fine if that works for them. Others, like myself, are on prescribed medication for certain ailments. Personally I suffer from chronic depression. I struggled for years about being on meds until I realized that my situation was an illness, like diabettes, if I take my meds I stay well, if I don't I get very sick. No one complains when a diabettic takes their meds to balance their bodies chemicals. Sometimes newcomers buy into the negetive responses, I did, and they end up sicker than they needed to be.

Depression can be either situational, which passes in a reasonable time period. Or chronic, which is a problem with the chemical make-up in the brain. One can be born with the problem or acquire it though years of repeated trauma. One of the chemicals is seratonine. Today there are meds which either replace the lack of or absorb the over production of such chemicals. Helping to create a "normal" balance. I am on this kind of theropy. I spent years in and out of hospitals both for my self medication w/ drugs and alcohol and for the resulting addictions.

I am an alcohlic, I am sober 7 years now and I am living a "normal" life. It is not for anyone to say what is right for you, as we are not physicians. But I can say that if you truly need medication you absolutely must be honest with youself and your doctors. Only you know what is the truth for you.

As for stress at the work place...yes...even homemakers have high stress. If you disagree you have never spent much time taking care of children, housework, shopping, budgeting, laundry, meals, ad infinitum!!

I care for my children and my 91 yr old friend who lives with me. I am currently doing a 4th on the resentments that have built up over the past 2+ months. I am looking forward to the fifth and so on, as I want my peace of mind back!!

I had worked in the management field for 19 years before becoming a home person. I think the stress is equal. Being responsible for a 91 yr old, a 6 year old and a seven year old, not to mention the chickens, dog, cats etc., can take a toll on a difficult day. I ask God for guidence, but sometimes I just blow it. Then I ask for forgiveness and start again. Life!

NEWCOMERS~~go to meetings, read the Big Book, get a sponsor, work the steps in the order they were written, and find a God you can do business with and so much will be revealed!!

Thank you.


Member: Pauline M.
Location: Massachusetts
Date: 2/29/00
Time: 4:59:05 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Pauline, and I'm an alcoholic. Great topic, Mike. Stress in the workplace was a big problem for me. I always tried to maintain the cool and calm exterior while inside I was raging. I would go home and drink at everyone and everything that ticked me off that day. I now try to say a quick prayer and turn it over when I find myself getting angry/upset/resentful; it helps. Whatever happens, I don't drink over it. I also try to talk to my sponsor every day and we go to a meeting together each Tuesday evening--she helps me to keep what's important at the front of my mind. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Jane V
Location: OH
Date: 2/29/00
Time: 5:29:15 PM

Comments

Hi John, You didn't say much about yourself! You wan to to be sober? or are you sober now? We are here for you! Love, Jane V


Member: Pat C
Location: ID
Date: 2/29/00
Time: 7:11:41 PM

Comments

Stress is, as my sponsor used to say, a pop psycology term which means "I'm not getting my own way". Powerlesness is the same no matter where it is; work, home, school, the beach, the grocery store...the delusion that "we can wrest satisfaction from this world if only we manage well" is a powerful one and does not die easily. But it will get better over time, if one remembers that we can't, God can, maybe we ought to let Him. There will always be conflict, expectations, and fear of failure to deal with. The "stress" is not in those things but is directly proportionate to how much of our own will we throw at it to get relief. Stress is a good indicator for me of my self will starting to run riot. Anything I am worried about is something I have not accepted. Just my alcoholic 2 cents worth.


Member: Danny D
Location:
Date: 2/29/00
Time: 8:49:00 PM

Comments


Member: Dan
Location:
Date: 2/29/00
Time: 8:57:18 PM

Comments

WHEN I Was drinking there was one soulution that was alcohol since going to AA theres one solution 12steps 12tradtions 12concepts all wrap up in one thanks for letting me share by the way I`m Danny I`m alcoholic


Member: Michael B.
Location: Topic, AZ
Date: 2/29/00
Time: 10:48:43 PM

Comments

Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only the grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome to the newcomers! And thanks everyone for sharing!

Problems in the workplace can be dreadful and even lead us back to drink. I had a problem in the workplace once, in which a cabal of people-pleasers/egomaniacs tried to isolate me and drive me from the workplace using some really underhanded tactics. In fact, it got bad enough at one point where I even spoke to a lawyer about the problem, i.e., I made a decision to defend myself the best I could, which also included sharing with my sponsor, other AA's, my God, as well as coworkers who were familiar with these troublemakers.

Eventually, by defending myself with the tools I had available, AA and otherwise, the problem subsided. I was fortunate, because I've learned that is not always the case. Sometimes serious problems like this have proved to be signals which caused me to change my current career choice.


Member: Marty M.
Location: There is a Solution - OH
Date: 3/1/00
Time: 12:21:19 AM

Comments

Hi Everyone, Marty Alcoholic.

This is my first time here & I have enjoyed everyones comments. I was unemployable when I reached the rooms of AA, so I'm grateful that I can be a productive employee today. I don't always like what those around me choose to do, but they are free to live their own life. It is up to me to choose how I want to live mine.

One of the first passages from the Big Book that was pointed out to me was on page 98, "Job or no job-Wife or no wife-we simply do ot stop drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people ahead of dependence on God.". I'm very grateful to have stayed sober through many experiences that have taught me this truth!

When I get up in the morning I ask God how can be of service to Him. (My primary purpose is to be of maxium service to God & my fellows.) After my prayer, 5 of 7 mornings, the next right thing for me to do is to go to work. I do my very best, and feel good for doing it regardless of the reward. The moment I begin to look for what my job does for me, I become restless. Why, I could have the perfect job and produce a good size list of complaints when my focus is on what's in it for me. There could never be enough to satisfy this drunk!

I also like the comment made about choosing where to put your energy. I no longer care to waste my energy. Page 88 in the Big Book explained to me why I was always so tierd, and gave me a solution.

Bless you all & hope to cross you path again!


Member: CRAIG D.
Location: UTOPIA
Date: 3/1/00
Time: 1:45:16 AM

Comments

CRAIG D ALCOHOLIC / ADDICT . TALK ABUOT JOB STRESS! THO NOW I CAN WRITE BLANC CHECKS. I AM AN OFFICER NOW TOO. I'VE BEEN SEEING SHRINKS MOST OF MY LIFE, BUT THANKS TO MY SPONSOR, THIS FELLOWSHIP, AND THE GRACE OF GOD I HAVE FIFTEEN YEARS. WHAT WORKED FOR ME WAS GETTING A SPONSOR, MAKING MEETINGS, AND WORKING THE STEPS.


Member: barry
Location: ontario
Date: 3/1/00
Time: 4:40:04 AM

Comments

TO Pauline M: I was exactly like that. During the day I held on at work because I know that my "best friend" was at home waiting for me. My "friend" never let me down--until my friend started coming to work with me. Actually I had to start having a few drinks before going to work just to stop staking. At the same time I could enjoy my recreation and work at the same time. The workplace caught on and the rest is history. Oddly enough it was at home that I did did most of my drinking. Now I have my office in my home and I'm not drinking. Thanks for sharing and letting my share.


Member: Jenn P.
Location: Poconos, PA
Date: 3/1/00
Time: 7:44:21 AM

Comments

Hi Jenn here- an alcoholic who is happy joyous and free! Thank you so much for sharing Marty, my thoughts exactly. I gave a poor day's performance for years before I got this gift of sobriety, given to me each day by a power greater than myself. Now I try each day to give my best and be grateful for the job I have. Moast all my days are good ones, unless I let something ruin them. Me!


Member: Mike
Location: Here
Date: 3/1/00
Time: 9:28:16 AM

Comments

Mike an alcoholic. I have had many stresses that are related to work, relationships, and life in general. Stress is a reality that we must deal with everyday. I just wanted to say to Pat C from ID: Oh, PAAAALEEEEEZZZZEEEE!!!!Stress means that I am not getting my own way? That is ridiculous and a nice way to continue doing what we alcoholics tend do to ourselves all the time. Self Bash! When I went through my "STRESSFUL" divorce, it had nothing to do with my not getting my way and everything to do with the realities of divorce. So that little piece of bed side psychology is WAY OFF BASE! And I got some other enlightening news for you, WE ARE NOT ALWAYS WRONG EITHER!

For you newcomers out there, be careful about lending credibility to all of the nice little comments you hear on this site that promote self bashing instead of self improvement. This program is about becoming a better person all around and I have never met anyone who has improved through self degradation!!! There is a big difference between humility and humiliation and there are many out there who will tell you that self degradation is humility. BULL!


Member: Inez S
Location: GA
Date: 3/1/00
Time: 9:56:33 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Inez, Yep I'm an Alcoholic:

Great Topic!! Stress on the Job is always a tough thing to deal with....When you get right down to it, (those of us who work a 40 hr week or more) spend most of our "awake hours" in an environment filled with people we are unrelated too, but must deal with as much or more than our own families. Stress is inevitable! Speaking personally, I got drunk frequently in the past because of uncontrollable situations in the work place. I was in the habit of driving home from work anticipating that "all powerful" drink that would relax me when I got home. Now when I go home, I just have to deal with the feelings and the problems at home without that "Medicating Drink", and inevitable "Drunk". Sometimes my days just plain "Suck". Have to admit that these days are better than my worst "suck days" drinking.

Today I pray alot at work. Sometimes I pray at the desk, sometimes I feel the need to go to the bathroom and get on my knees. IT WORKS! It has kept me sober on this current job that has more stress than I ever imagined. I too am in a management position....which is not all that much fun some days. I've found that people here don't have the power to screw with my head anymore, unless I give it too them. I choose not to do that today. I give it to my higher power, and ask for alot of endurance throughout the day.

Ya know, I can pray away.. most anything today if I have enough faith to let God handle it. Even worked on the secretary this morning...haha...what a miracle! God Bless All....lov Inez.


Member: Mike P.
Location: Tennessee
Date: 3/1/00
Time: 11:29:32 AM

Comments

Hi: I didn't deal with stress very well either in or out of the workplace. I drank alot and that was probably the reason. I'm a misfit and found that my place was in AA. AA was the only answer to my stress. I was told to make meetings and meetings and meetings. I'm sober today and have been in the program for many years and everything comes back to making meeting. It's the only thing that works for me and I'm grateful. Thanks to you all.


Member: Dale J
Location: Fresno, CA
Date: 3/1/00
Time: 11:52:08 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Dale J, an alcoholic.This is my first time in the room and enjoy the comments. I have been sober just under 6 months and it has been great. I recently injured my back and can't get to as many meetings as I would like but find this a very good substitute.


Member: Marlea C
Location: Seattle, WA
Date: 3/1/00
Time: 12:10:33 PM

Comments

Hi Everyone, Marlea here, alcoholic. Stress in the workplace. Hmmmm. There has been some interesting comments made. Stress as a result of not getting my way? Yes, I believe that is true, but that doesn't mean that it is wrong. Sometimes other people do things and make decisions in the workplace that truly are screwed up. Trying to manage the situation, take responsibility for my part in things and determine my responsibility level for FIXING what is wrong can be very difficult. Especially when dealing with multiple layers of management. This is a personal choice and decision that runs the gamut from "it's not my job" mentality to I care about this organization and what to contribute everything I have to improve it. I tend to move around between those extremes and can stress over either one. I really like what Inez had to say about praying about things. I haven't done a lot of praying around work since I have tended to separate my spiritual life from my work life. I think that has been a mistake. As was pointed out, I spend more time at work than at home each week. I have several stressful situations going on in my work life right now. I think it is time to pray about them and see what happens. Thanks all for being out here today. Marlea


Member: Marlea C
Location: Seattle, WA
Date: 3/1/00
Time: 12:10:48 PM

Comments

Hi Everyone, Marlea here, alcoholic. Stress in the workplace. Hmmmm. There has been some interesting comments made. Stress as a result of not getting my way? Yes, I believe that is true, but that doesn't mean that it is wrong. Sometimes other people do things and make decisions in the workplace that truly are screwed up. Trying to manage the situation, take responsibility for my part in things and determine my responsibility level for FIXING what is wrong can be very difficult. Especially when dealing with multiple layers of management. This is a personal choice and decision that runs the gamut from "it's not my job" mentality to I care about this organization and what to contribute everything I have to improve it. I tend to move around between those extremes and can stress over either one. I really like what Inez had to say about praying about things. I haven't done a lot of praying around work since I have tended to separate my spiritual life from my work life. I think that has been a mistake. As was pointed out, I spend more time at work than at home each week. I have several stressful situations going on in my work life right now. I think it is time to pray about them and see what happens. Thanks all for being out here today. Marlea


Member: Pat C
Location: Idaho
Date: 3/1/00
Time: 12:16:11 PM

Comments

To Mike from here... Looks like I caused you some stress, sorry... When I read the big book, it makes countless reference to self being a major problem...self will, making decisions based on self that later put us in a position to be hurt, self will run riot, etc etc. I see nothing in there that tells us to elevate or "work on" self esteem; that is God's job that he accomplishes as we work the steps,get outside ourselves and start to be of use to God and others. I was divorced too, about 20 years ago ( At a year sober, it sounded like a good idea. I'm since remarried for 17 years) and I can tell you that it was as much my fault as hers, maybe more, because I made the decision to marry someone with a lot of problems and it was I who tried to change her into something she was not and never could be, thereby insuring that I would never be happy or "get my own way" which created...you guessed it, stress. When I remarried, I was 4 years sober and I resolved to accept that person as she was and it's been great for 17 years. Even though I've been sober for some time, doesn't mean I still don't suffer from a disease that is bent on my destruction. No amount of self congratulation or affirmations will ever change that; only God who is still the solution to my problem can do that. Maybe it's bull to you, but I stand by my remarks in my previous post as the principles behind them have served me well in 2 decades plus of sobriety. Feel free to disagree, It gives me no stress!


Member: Jenn P
Location: Olympia
Date: 3/1/00
Time: 12:37:58 PM

Comments

I am Jenn P an alcoholic. Just want to say that I agree with Mike from Here. I am sorry but just because I may encounter a stressful situation does not mean that I am not getting my way. Stress comes in all forms and from many sources. Just because I have a ton of work to do or deadlines to meet and I feel stressed about it, that does not mean that I am fighting within myself because I want my own way about something. It means I have alot of work to do and a deadline to meet; period! I don't understand why people have to make such a big philisophical deal about a simple thing like stress. What is with that?

I am also very concerned, Mike, about the little sayings out there that sound really profound to many but in truth are nothing more than ways to continue to hold people down. Another goofy and destructive saying that really gets to me is "if you are in pain, you are doing something wrong." When I heard that one, I nearly screamed out to everyone "so you are all telling me that when my mother passed away and I was feeling that pain of loss, I WAS DOING SOMETHING WRONG? Do tell me what I was doing wrong? I don't think it is wrong the grieve over the loss of someone I love dearly."

Why is it that when we feel things like stress, pain, saddness, anger, etc. you get alot of AAs out there telling you there is something wrong with you. Excuse me folks but I drank in order to not feel those feelings and now that I am sober, you are telling me that these feelings mean I am doing something wrong. Bull Shit! Feeling the feelings, regardless of what they are, tell me that I AM NOT DRINKING and I NEED TO LEARN TO GO THROUGH THEM! THIS MY FELLOW AAs IS NOT WRONG!

So newcomers don't let anyone out there tell you that feelings of stress, saddness, pain, lonliness, anger etc. are wrong. Don't let them convince you to stuff them away by telling you that you are wrong to have them. Always remember that you drank as a way to stuff and avoid going through those feelings. Stuffing them without the drink is just as bad as drinking them away. Go through them and know that they are natural occurrences in life and if you trust your Higher Power and ask for help, you will come out on the other side a better person. This is a promise of this program and it works. I am living proof that it works!

FEEL YOUR FEELINGS and ASK FOR HELP!


Member: chris h.
Location: florida
Date: 3/1/00
Time: 1:59:36 PM

Comments

Hi all---chris here-- alcoholic/addict/bulimic--Good topics this week--even though I don't work outside of the home, certainly I can apply what I've read to my cituation!!!When people are in your life, there is always stress!!! And " applying these principles in all our affairs" really helps. not that I do it all of the time, but at least now after being in the program for 6 yrs., I know where to look for the answers to my problems. And that if I am patient enough and work the steps... the answers usually come . Thank God for the sponsor that He has given me. If it weren't for her and her level headed view of things, I would not have gotten very far. I encourage anyone who has not gotten a sponsor to get one . It has SAVED MY LIFE!!

Now, onto the problem of perscription drugs

. As with everything else in the program , for me , it has been balance.. I was addictied to p.meds. when I came into the program. And now even though I have to take several (including prozac!), I know how to keep a watch on what I take and if I ever feel myself getting out of control...I talk to my sponsor or therapist...

One thing I must say for myself this week is that I need to be more honest with my sponsor about my faults and weaknesses...It is an easy habit to get out of, and a dangerous one for me..Today I am going to call her and "confess" some "stuff", and I am SURE that I will feel so much better....Why is it so hard for us to do the things that are good for us???? Thanks for letting me share!!!!


Member: Mike
Location: Here
Date: 3/1/00
Time: 4:17:06 PM

Comments

Hey Pat C I stand by my belief as well and let me add, I am entitled to it. My disagreement with you is my perogative and tuff S__t if you don't like that. Since it is obvious that you are more interested in making your point and could care less about the topic at hand, why don't you take it to the coffee pot as this site is very clear. ONE POST PER WEEK! I will do the same!! Sorry to all for double dipping as they say, just tired of people trying to shove their beliefs and opinions down everyone elses throats.


Member: Mike
Location: Here
Date: 3/1/00
Time: 4:19:08 PM

Comments

Hey Pat C I stand by my belief as well and let me add, I am entitled to it. My disagreement with you is my perogative and tuff S__t if you don't like that. Since it is obvious that you are more interested in making your point and could care less about the topic at hand, why don't you take it to the coffee pot as this site is very clear. ONE POST PER WEEK! I will do the same!! Sorry to all for double dipping as they say, just tired of people trying to shove their beliefs and opinions down everyone elses throats.


Member: Celeste
Location: Newbury
Date: 3/1/00
Time: 4:22:49 PM

Comments

I am new here and just want to say to Pat C that I agree with Mike Here and Jenn P.


Member: Pat C
Location: the AA heretic
Date: 3/1/00
Time: 5:06:01 PM

Comments

So much for "Love and tolerance of others is our code"...have a good life, sorry if I gave out any resentments or touched anyone's buttons... Bye now


Member: Robin P
Location: La Pine Or
Date: 3/1/00
Time: 5:16:02 PM

Comments

Hi Im Robin and Im in recovery, This is a good topic for me. I have allowed myself to be stressed out at work lately. Mostly because I have been too busy looking at others and not at myself. After a few weeks, and the chance to safely vent, I feel much better. God's gentle way of showing me to work on myself is when I find myself working on others.


Member: eliS
Location: london
Date: 3/1/00
Time: 5:34:23 PM

Comments

hello, my name's elaine and i think i might be an alcoholic. how can you define it?


Member: Surf'n friend of BW
Location:
Date: 3/1/00
Time: 5:35:26 PM

Comments

Surfn sober drunk here!

Pat C., you said, "...the delusion that "we can wrest satisfaction from this world if only we manage well" is a powerful one and does not die easily (so true!!). But it will get better over time, if one remembers that we can't, God can, maybe we ought to let Him."

I happen to agree with you. The "majority" of the problems in "my life" are of "my making," including my reactions to stressful work situations. Doing the steps frees me from "much" but not all of the junk stess in my life. Blaming others does nothing to free me, and didn't help me to get sober either. Is it the fault of socieity that I drank? Too much of this not enough of that? Bull, I drank because I am an alcoholic. In doing the steps, I only take responsibility for my part, what I've done, and let others deal with their stuff.

I must admit, my program is one day at a time, and it is progress and not perfection.

As usual, take what you want and leave the rest.


Member: sick of Mike from whereever
Location: cyberspace
Date: 3/1/00
Time: 6:47:07 PM

Comments

To Mike from Here:

Every week you start with someone. What's up your ass? Are you a conflict junkie?

Practice what you preach. I quote you from above: "just tired of people trying to shove their beliefs and opinions down everyone elses throats" Good advice - you should take it.


Member: Pauline M.
Location: Massachusetts
Date: 3/1/00
Time: 7:14:00 PM

Comments

I'm Pauline, an alcoholic. TO Barry (Ontario) Yes, I can identify with you; I did the same things. I would fill my water bottle with mostly vodka and top it off with water and nurse it all day; kept it right on top of desk too! I, too, would start the day with a drink instead of coffee. Fortunately, because I did have a period of sobriety, I realized what I was doing eventually and got help. (I did need a little kick in the butt from my husband--denial, denial, denial) Anyway, I still have my job and am grateful every day. I've read the other postings and I think maybe not getting my way may have a lot to do with my stress. This alcoholic needs to be in control --love to run the show! Thanks all--have a good night!


Member: Kathleen E.
Location: New York State
Date: 3/1/00
Time: 7:48:04 PM

Comments

Work is work, hence the name. I have a stressful job that requires countless decisions each moment. I get frustrated and want to bang my head against the wall. I try to talk to people at work about it. And, as a friend told me today, I shouldn't take it personally. I have no control over others. I have no control over others. That should become my mantra. I can only control myself and my attitude towards things and others. I feel much better if I don't let it get the best of me and if I maintain a sense of humor. I have to remember to pray for help, too. THe serenity prayer comes in handy. Thanks. Have a good one.


Member: Stephen
Location:
Date: 3/1/00
Time: 8:11:14 PM

Comments

Will all of you idiots fighting on this site GET LOST PLEASE!!!!! That especially includes you "sick of Mike from wherever" you weenie, you can't even identify yourself. I don't like what Mike from Here says lots of times, but at least he doesn't hide behind some phoney name. And Pat C, LET IT REST! All you are doing by continuing to post is instigating more fighting. Let people have their own opinions and get on with it.


Member: Bob S.      
Location: Maryland
Date: 3/1/00
Time: 9:06:37 PM

Comments

Hi I'm Bob and I am an alcoholic

My story is quite simple really. I stopped going to mtgs. and I relapsed. Stayed sober on my own for a while but when I needed to reach out, no one was there, and that was on me. End result: relapse. Been back now for a while, and have one thing to say. Meeting Makers Make It. Most of you know this, I hope. God Bless those who can't find a meeting. This is the next best thing, I suppose. Fellowship is so important. Learn from my mistake and don't forget that.To those who want to drink tonight. Please call someone now, and keep comin back. God Bless.


Member: Paul B.
Location: Kirkland
Date: 3/2/00
Time: 1:08:45 AM

Comments

To Elaine I was told when I came to AA if I had to ask, I was. However, I also believe one should not jump to conclusions. I would recommend attending an in-person meeting and talking to people face-to-face.

As to the topic. My sobriety is directly impacted by my work site. I can only control me and the stuff presented at work I can only take one thing at a time. When it overwelms me, I say the serenity prayer, if that doesn't work, I take a meditation walk or hide in the bath room until I can clear my head enough to allow God to sort out what I can't or shouldn't.

I have been in three different professions in my life, nursing, the military, and now law enforcement/corrections. All three professions are high stress professions and alcoholism is abundant. The third job around helped to get me to the program.

Only with God and AA can I deal with the stress of my job and still be successful.

Thanks for letting me share.


Member: john
Location: pa
Date: 3/2/00
Time: 1:09:11 AM

Comments

hi my name is john and i'm an alcoholic. I can relate to stress, that is the topic, Workplace or wherever. sometimes I feel the need to have it,that is, when I'm feeling really regressive. how do i deal whith it,A:I stay stressed B:pray to god and ask him to remove it. C: talk about it. The latter two when im working my program.nice to know someone is listening. first time on this site,but not the last.


Member: Paul B.
Location: Kirkland
Date: 3/2/00
Time: 1:09:29 AM

Comments

To Elaine I was told when I came to AA if I had to ask, I was. However, I also believe one should not jump to conclusions. I would recommend attending an in-person meeting and talking to people face-to-face.

As to the topic. My sobriety is directly impacted by my work site. I can only control me and the stuff presented at work I can only take one thing at a time. When it overwelms me, I say the serenity prayer, if that doesn't work, I take a meditation walk or hide in the bath room until I can clear my head enough to allow God to sort out what I can't or shouldn't.

I have been in three different professions in my life, nursing, the military, and now law enforcement/corrections. All three professions are high stress professions and alcoholism is abundant. The third job around helped to get me to the program.

Only with God and AA can I deal with the stress of my job and still be successful.

Thanks for letting me share.


Member: DonC
Location: Tempe Az
Date: 3/2/00
Time: 2:49:15 AM

Comments

Hi everybody, my name is Don and I'm a grateful recovering alcoholic. this is my first time here and I really enjoyed the comments listed. I to am a nurse so I can understand what Kathy was saying. I remember trying to go to work after approx 3 hours of sleep and feeling like crap. It was then that I started the Marty M. friend thing. Thanks Marty for reminding me. I now have 2 years sobriety and enjoy life to the fullest. Through Gods help and grace I begin everyday with a prayer thanking god for my sobriety on this day. Glad to find a place to talk with oters that know how I feel and is available 24 hours a day. DonC


Member: Flora K
Location: USA
Date: 3/2/00
Time: 8:55:10 AM

Comments

Flora K. alcoholic, I want to comment on the topic(s) for the week but also want to suggest that we could avoid haggling over what is the topic by clearing up the confusion of when one weeks posts end and the new week begins. If I read the posts correctly the topic on prescription drugs got stuck at the end of last week's list. So it was suggested first but didn't register in the right place. Other times I have seen suggested topics lost completely due to glitches at the beginning of a new week. The tech support for this board is wonderful and I intend no criticism. It helps me to understand that errors can occur.I hope noone will feel hurt if their proposed topic is lost. Keep coming back! On a related matter, posting only once a week-the stated guideline of this board, will mean no disheartening crosstalk. I sometimes find myself at the keyboard nearly unable to resist posting a second time so I understand the impulse. This alcoholic needs to practice restraint and only share my experience, strength and hope. For me the dangerous prescription drugs for addiction are painkillers not tranquilizers or anti depressants. The last two for me are the province of the medical profession and I know AA has no quarrel with the need for extra help from medical experts. I would share with my sponsor if I chose to take a mood altering medication on medical advice. Painkillers may also be medically necessary. For me they were more tempting to abuse because they affected me more like alcohol. On the subject of stress, I too spent many years in a high stress/high alcoholism occupation. I now stay at home with my children.It turned out that being at home really allowed my alcohlism to flourish, not because of stress but because I thought my drinking was not as obvious and I could get away with more. I am so grateful to AA that I don't have to think that way today and have a way to live without alcohol.


Member: Lynn S
Location: OR
Date: 3/2/00
Time: 10:12:24 AM

Comments

I'm Lynn and I'm an alcoholic. What helped me to understand that I'm not here as God's Probation Officer or judge--was p.449 of the Big Book. It helped and still helps to remind me that when I am angry with my co-workers that I am not in charge. It's pretty humbling at times. Unfortunately not everybody is a team player and most have hidden agendas but when I began to make the effort to be pleasant and ignore others, I began to see that people usually plant their own seeds of destruction. At times, I've been very sorry for them and was reminded of my own behavior when I was drinking.I have been forgiven a lot and I need to remember that-when I get angry. It's not for sissies, I can tell you that.


Member: anonomous
Location:
Date: 3/2/00
Time: 3:23:06 PM

Comments

It has been my observation, that AA. has what all employment places are lacking. Perhaps it was luck or could it have been happenstance? Ever notice how well AA. conducts itself under the guideing principle of the tradition that states: "Our leaders, are trusted servants, they do not govern." Is this not the glue that holds it all together? Where no one exalts himself above measure, everyone in AA. restrains himself from such desires. Tis this principle, the work place is missing. In fact they practice exactly the opposite, everyone wants to rule, and no one wants to serve. Is it not so, that when hireing on at a job, we all have a mind to serve? How quickly then does this change, when once our time card is in the slot, and the job is in hand. Then that humble servant transforms into a ruleing tyrant! Each of us seeks to climb the so called ladder by trodding one another underfoot, not only our fellow workers, but also the public we are some of us entrusted with. Either for glory or praise or honer or fame or acknowledgement of some sort from others, all this seeking to be somewhat has been our demise. If in the work place we were all humble servants who govern not, then things would begin to run smooth. " He that would to be the greatest amoung you, let him be as the least or the youngest" said our Lord. Small wonder then, when we exalt ourselves, we are humbled, let us therefore humble ourselves, that we might then be exalted.


Member: Linda E.
Location: PA
Date: 3/2/00
Time: 3:33:41 PM

Comments

Hi. Linda and an alcoholic...(still so hard to admit that!!) I was reading about the problem of stress at work, but what if the stress at work is caused by a dying romantic relationship with a co-worker??? My real stress there is waiting day after day, hour after hour to hear from him, and hope upon hope to 'run into' him, and when a day passes with nothing, I'm devastated!! Then it's the same old routine, pop a xanax so I don't cry, (at least until I get home) and if I make it without drinking, take another xanax or 2 so I can sleep and stop the scenario from running thru my head again and again....I've thought of taking another job, but I'm fortunate enough to telecommute 2x a week, I have a six year old daughter, and it gives me a lot of time with her, have no 'set' hours, a wonderful boss, and a great salary...so I'd be a fool to leave...I'm just starting back in the program, after 5 years sober, I thought i could drink 'socially' agian, and after about a year, find my life becoming unmanageable again...I just don't know how to 'let go' of this dying (face it, Linda - DEAD) relationship, and i just keep pryaing and praying to God to free me of this obsession.

Thanks for letting me vent!!


Member: NanetteG
Location: OH
Date: 3/2/00
Time: 5:33:16 PM

Comments

Nanette..an alcoholic...sober for 2 years..new to AA.. so I don't know the book but stress on the job use to drive me nuts..but now I have come to realize that I was the maker of my own stress.. I had to be the top sales person... I had to make the perfect decision... I had to handle myself perfectly on the phone... I had to have the right answer to any question.. but now I'm learning to forgive myself and let myself make mistakes and just be who I am, not who I think that my boss wants me to be...love myself while I am doing it.. and I know that God is loving me too while I living and making mistakes and doing some things right. But the best thing is that I haven't lost my job.. I'm better on my job than I have ever been because I'm sober and I'm free to be the person God wants me to be.. I start my day by praying to God to let me be an instrument for his work. And so far it finally seems to be working. Best of luck on your job don't be so hard on yourself. Do and be the best God wanted you to be, nothing else is expected from you.


Member: Barbara R
Location: Washington
Date: 3/2/00
Time: 5:41:28 PM

Comments

Hello everyone, I am glad to find a meeting online, and the topic is just what I needed. I have currently recieved a promotion to a job I have wanted for a long time... I really enjoy my job, it can be stressful but very rewarding. I know the only reason that I have this job is because of the program and the work I've done becoming sober... I related to alot of people on this discussion. The problem was also me and I was blown away when I realized that.

I am however having a problem with my schedule since I got this job.. It's 12 hour shifts and rotating days... That causes alot of stress when it comes to keeping it simple...I know my sponsor is concerned because I have had a problem getting to meetings so I'm hoping this will help being on line for when I can't go...

I miss the closeness I felt when I went to several meetings aweek. And I would like to have alittle more balance again.. I love being clean and sober.. I wouldn't change it for nothing. I almost have 3 years and I am engaged to a wonderful person also in recovery that will celebrate 10 years soon..

Hope I didn't venture to far off the subject.. Bear with me I really wanted a meeting and the chat rooms just didn't cut it?????


Member: Rick S.
Location: B.C. NV
Date: 3/2/00
Time: 9:58:30 PM

Comments

My name is Rick and I am still an alcoholic... The 1st step deals with powerless, but it says we admitted we were powerless over alcohol... not over others or over jobs or over cars or over???? Saying I am powerless over how I conduct myself in any of my dealings (stressful or not) with life is a nifty little cop-out but it will not help me stay spiritually fit or keep me sober. In all my dealings, work related or otherwise, I ask myself a serious question..."is what I am about to say, or do, going to help or harm? If the answer is not a clear "help" I find another way. Now if you are trying to accept others as they are, or on God's terms, instead of how you think they should be...that is a whole nother subject. Seee Yaaa !!!


Member: Jean-Claude T.
Location: Belgium
Date: 3/3/00
Time: 7:55:11 AM

Comments

My name is JC and Iím an alcoholic.

Thanks for the topic, Mike. Iím one of those few lucky ones whoíre not that stressed at work. I just got a lesson this week about how to cope with stress at work though. It consisted in 22 practical suggestions to try and better live at the office. The "teacher" got them in a book written by an American Ďround 1965 (and I think the guy's been inspired by other suggestions made some 30 years earlier). It goes about acceptation, takiní action, keep your mind busy, donít worry about the past, try to do your best, make your autocritic, rest before being tired, ... but the first suggested point was "Live one day at a time".

Iím very lucky to have found, since several years, a program of life that helps me in any given stressing situation, IF I want to give it a try (sometimes I donít and the road is more rocky), one day at a time.

Thanks for letting me share. jctoller@hotmail.com.


Member: Norman L
Location: Boston
Date: 3/3/00
Time: 1:15:00 PM

Comments

Thanks for your support and giving me something to grab for Robert Henderson, if you could give me your e mail then we can talk about me being an alcoloic and how to stop drinking and stay sober

Norman L


Member: Norman L
Location: Boston
Date: 3/3/00
Time: 1:47:12 PM

Comments

Thanks for your support and giving me something to grab for Robert Henderson, if you could give me your e mail then we can talk about me being an alcoloic and how to stop drinking and stay sober

Norman L


Member: Don H.
Location: Franklin Park, NJ
Date: 3/3/00
Time: 1:54:47 PM

Comments

Hi, my name is Don and I am an alcoholic. The realization that I was powerlessness over alcohol was good news to me. You see I thought I was crazy.

It wasn't until I did my fourth step that I was able to see what my real problem was. I discovered that my nature is to be restless, irratible and discontented no mater how things are going. I found that I place unreasonable expectations on myself and other. God forbid others should do things as they see fit and not as I think they should. Woe shall befall such foolhardy people. I shall of course be justified in my anger and shall be free to retalitate in any fashion I choose.

Needless to say I now know, as a result of the steps in our program, that the attitudes I have described are self defeating and among those old ideas I must discard if I am to be happy and contented with my sobriety and in my workplace.


Member: Joe L.
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Date: 3/3/00
Time: 2:34:32 PM

Comments

Hi there, Joe from Ireland. Mike, Good Topic! And a lot of good suggestions coming through to.

I wonder is it the mindset particular to the alcoholic that everything has to become so personal? I can empathise that work can have its stresful moments and it is a very real part of our daily walk in sobreity.

However, like the writing on the wall says, we have to take it easy. Why allow ego to inflate itself to the level whereby welose our very sleep?

Now Mike, I'm not sure if you are a man like myself, whereby its not a nuclear power reactor we have control over but are simply required to deal with everyday occurences and possibly have some people under us.

Why then can we let work warp our minds to the extent whereby it becomes a problem? The workplace is a fantastic place for our sobreity to be utilised: considering the staff we work with, maintaining the level of work which our position requires and simply doing what we are paid to do.

But lets not let work dominate this. It is merely an aspect of our daily walk, it does not constitute the entirity of that walk otherwise this would be Workers Anonymous.

Maintaining a sound mind, and not allowing ourselves the anxiety (others may enjoy) helps to keep us on the even level whereby whatever the circumstances God will see us through.

Hope it works out.


Member: Maria H
Location: London, UK
Date: 3/3/00
Time: 5:51:02 PM

Comments

Hi - Maria - Alcoholic Before I go any further - Upon reading the postings, I am reminded of Tradition 1 - Our common welfare.....AA Unity & all that - come on guys (& girls!)

A very warm welcome to all our newcomers.

To Robert L. Boston: Sounds like you're having a tough time - hang in there! I am sorry you're suffering with another chronic illness (alcoholism is too). This may sound a bit weird to you - but if you are an alcoholic (& only YOU can decide that) - that is your MAIN PROBLEM.

Alcoholism is a 3-fold illness, Mental, Physical & Spiritual. Your physical & mental health is already challenged - the booze is gonna be making that much worse; probably reducing the effectiveness of your prescribed drugs, blurring your other symptoms, not too mention the tremendous depressant effects. Dont worry about the spiritual bit, if you're anything like most of us when we got here - we didn't have one!

So, if you're still with me so far - the BOOZE is making everything a hundred times worse & THAT IS THE THING YOU CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT, IF YOU WANT TO - when you reach out - the hand of AA will be there - grab it tight!

The GREAT NEWS is, if you are an alcoholic of our kind - YOU CAN RECOVER.

Call the AA office - get to a 'real' meeting & remember - God is ALMIGHTY not HALF MIGHTY. I wish you well.

To ELAINE, LONDON; as has been said already - 'I wonder if I'm an alcoholic' is not a thought many non-alcohilcs have - the answer may be in the question!

When I started drinking - I could not stop, I since learned it was the phenomenon of craving. Regualr drinkers dont get that. At my first meeting, heard 2 things which confirmed I was in the right place:- 'One drink is too many & a thousand isn't enough' and 'the four horsemen - of terror, bewilderment, frustration & despair'.

I drank because I had to. I drank because I didnt think it was possible not to. I could not conceive of a life (or a day!) without alcohol. I haven't had to drink since my first AA meeting (after 20 years as a daily drinker).

Today I have a life that is beyond my wildest dreams - and so can you.

Call the AA office in London (open 10 til 10) 0171 833 0022, get to a meeting, there'll tell you where there's one you can get to. Let me know if you'd like to mail me. Take good care.

IT WORKS!


Member: Alvin
Location:
Date: 3/3/00
Time: 7:16:53 PM

Comments

Alvin, alcoholic. Since no one else cares to follow the 'no talk back philosphy' that make meetings such an open place..

CRAIG D. now that you found all of that, find the CAPS LOCK key!

Pat C. give it a rest!

Everyone else: see how harmful talk back can be. Let's not get into it.

Now, If I can share....had a really spiritual experience this week. Was obsessing on doing something about a personal situation. Prayed very hard for God's will to be done. Prayed for help in guidance with this issue. Around noon, before I could act, a problem came in on the phone about my car and the title with DMV, long afternoon on the phone with bankers, lawyers, insurance etc...when all was said and done I was $300. richer (by being nice and accepting an offer instead of trying to fight and have my way) and had missed the opportunity for my will to be excercised in what would have been a disasterous action! Next day , someone at the office, a friend related to this personal issue, calls me in to her office and brings up the very topic I was obsessing about, and offered me very sound advice, this all without me asking her about it or bringing it up....she just hit on it. And her advice was 'whatever you do don't do what you had planned to do yesterday" I had prayed this morning for guidance and some way of knowing what God's will might be in this situation, the advice given was perfect, and in harmony with all the spiritual principles...it may not get me what I want, but it sure helped me feel better about what I was doing and won't result in anyone being hurt....this advice being to take a more patient and friendly approach to my 'prediciment'. God stepped in when I asked, or at least that's the way I choose to see it.


Member: Jennie M
Location: Qld Australia
Date: 3/4/00
Time: 1:24:19 AM

Comments

Hi, Jennie Alcoholic here. Haven't been on for a while but enjoyed the postings. What a program - I think everyone is entitled to their opinion. Take what you need and leave the rest. We are not perfect, only human. God Bless.


Member: December
Location: B.C. Canada
Date: 3/4/00
Time: 3:00:05 AM

Comments

Hi to all and especially to the newcomers! I too related to the topic of stress in the workplace and the powerlessness. A wonderfully wise sponsor once told me that I may be powerless, but I wasn't helpless. She also told me that "if you always do what you always do--then you'll always get what you always got. I felt trapped in the stress until I remembered there is ALWAYS another option. After making many changes, checking my motive, attitudes and gratitude balance I realized that I would need to leave my job. I was terrified, my job was my security, my identity and my familiar. My health was going downhill so fast I had visions of becoming hopelessly dependent and I had noone to become dependent on!! It was a time when I had to turn to my Higher Power and ask to be cared for, just as it says in stp 3 We turned our will and our lives over to the CARE of God. It is now two years later and I have a great job making much more money and time to take walks and enjoy my garden. "Beyond our wildest dreams" is the promise, but it takes the leap of faith. Or as in my case "hitting the wall so hard, so often you just surrender. Thanks for listening.


Member: Frank G
Location: Prince George  BC  Cnd
Date: 3/4/00
Time: 4:16:33 AM

Comments

Hello friends I'm an alcoholic and my name is Frank. Although I have been in the program going on four years, this is the first time in cyber space A.A., I guise I am a new commer of sorts. I like the topic "stress in the work place". I work in a industry were the amount of production can make or break a contractor. So needles to say the supervisors are constantly pushing for more production. If you have a good day and your productivity is up, they espect you to raise it even higher. They damand perfection! Some days I go home from work and I need to pray for acceptance. I find that I get very judgemental and I think these people realy need a program. It is said the difinition of insanity is doing the same thig over and over and expecting diferent results. I read another difinition of insanity is "expecting healthy behaviour from unhealthy people". When I get all out of wack I feel I need to look within myself and ask "what are my expectation of this person, place or thing. Am I setting my own personal standards too high(perfection). My serenity is contingent with my concious contact with god. When I'm off line so is my spiritual program off line.

Glad to be here, glad to be sober.


Member: rick W.
Location: Australia
Date: 3/4/00
Time: 4:53:35 AM

Comments

My name is Rick and i'm a alcoholic....

I'm going reaLLY INSANE AND EVRYTHING LOOKS GOOD AND poeple are patting me on the back...my work is going to hell..my mind is in front of itI havent been to a meeting in a week just listening to an aa tape on the way to work in the am....I've been physically ill and missing work too...wook up late today and gambled on the way whicjh only made me later (new addiction) and was sent home....I feel just as out of control as when i was in addiction...life just seeems crazy...truly powerless


Member: A FRIEND
Location: AA EVERYWHERE
Date: 3/4/00
Time: 8:58:46 AM

Comments

Rick - visit us over at the Coffee Pot.


Member: Tammy M
Location: Anchorage, AK
Date: 3/4/00
Time: 11:40:49 AM

Comments

Hi there. Tammy, alcoholic. When I was drinking,I had to handle stress every day at my job. It was because of the tyrant I was working for. I couldn't do any thing right. I worked more at trying to please my boss than at the job. While all of this was going on, I discovered sobriety.After 7 months of sobriety, I was still being treated badly and I developed an ulcer. That was the final straw. I asked for a transfer within the company. When asked why I wanted a transfer, I stated that my manager and I didn't get along.I received the transfer and although my new position is stressful, I like my job alot and am very grateful for the way things turned out. A good point to remember is that you can always change what isn't healthy for you! Thanks for listening


Member: Roy S
Location:
Date: 3/4/00
Time: 2:11:11 PM

Comments

Stress in the workplace can indeed be intense. I recently was "promoted" - it was more like a lateral move - and it came with many more stresses and pressures. In the old days, I would have turned to the bottle for relief. However, thanks to AA I now know that there are other options available to me. I do not have to drink in order to deal with the problems. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Rocco
Location: NY
Date: 3/4/00
Time: 6:57:11 PM

Comments

Hi everyone Im Rocco the Brickie and Iam an alcoholic. This is an excellent topic for me to share.I am the foreman for a med-large masonry construction co.In my company owners eyes I am responsible for everything except bidding and collecting the checks.While we have been friends for roughly 10 years I can remember not to long ago needing about 8or 9 beers before I could talk to him.He would usually call me between 7 -8 pm SO HOW DID YOU DO? And when my brick or block counts werent to his liking there would be hell to pay.All I know is hrer around the NYC suberbs we are supposed to be craftsmen and I feel my men are we are more like modern day slaves.Sorry I got off track I could share all day on this. I found out if I drop my expectations of my men my serenity level rises and yes I did get that from the BB.So far Ihave had the best results since starting AA I might have to take up a little more slack but hell I enjoy my job like this.God Bless


Member: Carol C.
Location: New Jersey
Date: 3/5/00
Time: 6:53:50 AM

Comments

Hi! Carol Alcoholic! It's a new week and I don't know if this will make it to discussion or not but how about acceptance. I know if I accept just about anything for what it is for the time being, my day goes just so much smoother. Lately I have had to accept the fact that I need to deal with the IRS with my spouse who is also sober. Old stuff catching up. We've done the footwork. They've responded and now it's accepting the outcome. Prayer has come into play also. Have a great week everyone.


Member: ****
Location:
Date: 3/5/00
Time: 10:25:59 AM

Comments

Screw acceptance! That seems to be the topic "du jour". Every other week acceptance is the topic and it is OLD! For God's sake people get creative will ya. There is much more to talk about in this program other than acceptance. You know like, into action, living in today and not the future or the past, expectations, surrender, fellowship......but please can we get off the acceptance kick!!! BORING!


Member: T.
Location: Md.
Date: 3/5/00
Time: 12:19:46 PM

Comments

Mike, great topic! I am in a supervisory position in a very stressful production environment, and I can relate with just about every problem everyone has posted. I really can't offer much advise, because I haven't been in my position very long, but I would like to thank you again for the topic and thank everyone for their useful input! Have a great and serene week!


Member: T.
Location: Md.
Date: 3/5/00
Time: 12:31:13 PM

Comments

Woops! Sorry! Didn't go to the end of the list 1st like I should've! Didn't mean to post off topic!

And ****, if you'll notice, everything you mentioned has to deal with acceptance in one form or another!

Thanks and have a great week.